Fine Dining - The Hooter Bowl feat. Bonnie Gordon (Star Trek: Prodigy) & Noah Gray (Kansas City Chiefs)
Episode Date: February 8, 2023It's the HOOTER BOWL!! Grab some chips, sit back, and put on the game as the boys talk wings, waitresses, and what day the week starts on We're on video for this one! Go to our Patreon (link below) t...o watch this episode in all its true glory! The Hooter Bowl is jam-packed with commercials just like the Super Bowl, but potentially more ridiculous Bonnie Gordon battles noise complaints from Michael's neighbors as she performs "Four Letters (ADHD)" off her upcoming album Con Artist for the Hooter Bowl Halftime Show Noah Gray from the Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs pops in to voice Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita's review of Hooters' Chicken Philly Cheesesteak Garrett pilfers a tin foil birthday hat from another table Hooters employee (and new Best Server) Amy shares her on-the-clock break-up story Willa Mae reviews Hooters kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB has some wet nap slogans he wants to test out Additional voices: Nick Adams, Zeus Benitez, Jessa Day, Grayson Niles We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more! Huge thanks to our Patreon Producer: Sue Ornelas  Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!  Send us your Hooters stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.  Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast  Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!  Next time on Fine Dining: Chevys Fresh Mex! If you have ever worked for Chevys and have a story to share, or if you’d like us to hear your child’s review of the Chevys kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, and welcome back to the Fine Dining Podcast, the search for the most mediocre
restaurant in America.
I am your host, Michael Ornelis.
And I'm your host, Garrett Zwerk.
And something's a little different this week, Garrett.
Just a little bit.
You can see us if you want.
We are on video.
Aren't we?
Beautiful.
We are so beautiful, Garrett.
Yes.
We decided to do something a little bit special for our Super Bowl Week episode.
It's not just the Super Bowl.
It's the Hooter Bowl.
The one and only Hooter Bowl, the first Hooter Bowl in all of existence.
Yeah.
For those of you who want to see this, you can go to our Patreon.
We decided we're going to release one extra episode every month exclusive to Patreon.
So for $5 a month, you can go see that.
But in addition, we decided let's do just a full length video episode.
That doesn't mean you're totally out of luck if you do want to see us for free, though.
We will be posting some of the episode on YouTube.
We'll be posting clips on YouTube also, but hey, don't forget, follow us on Instagram
and TikTok at Find Dining Podcast.
We'll be putting a lot of clips there, and I promise you, they will be the funniest
ones.
Well, let's not deter them from wanting the Patreon.
There will be some very funny stuff on Patreon as well.
Yeah.
Everything's funny.
Yeah.
100% of what we do is funny.
Oops, so funny.
Anyways, for those of you listening for the very first time, here's what we do on the
Find Dining Podcast.
We're looking for the most mediocre restaurant.
We are looking to try and find you not the best of the best.
Not the worst.
But the middle of the middle.
The okayest.
We are so prepared to do this because we've gone through life living up to everyone's
expectations of being mediocre.
Yeah, no one really expected too much of us.
And we've delivered that in spades.
Exactly.
So we're going to find you the restaurant that does exactly that.
We are trying to find our kindred spirit in restaurant form.
I was born in the Midwest.
I grew up in Texas, like the South.
So chain restaurants galore just filled my childhood.
I was born in the middle of nowhere, Michigan, where Applebee's was like the fanciest place
around.
We're going to evaluate all these restaurants based on their atmosphere.
Based on their service.
And based on their food.
And the reason we're going to do that is because they're restaurants and you go there
to eat.
So of course we're going to talk about the food.
It would be ridiculous if we didn't talk about the food.
So for this week's pick, we did go to Hooters.
I didn't pick it.
I didn't pick Hooters either.
My, we'll call her my niece, but I have family in San Francisco.
They took us in for a weekend and we went to Chucky Cheese with her last week.
So you can go check out our episode with little Emma.
She's the best.
She's very fun.
Emma, thank you for making it not weird for us being two grown dudes at Chucky Cheese.
Yes.
I think that's the rule.
You got to bring a kid.
And please bring a kid you relate.
Don't just grab a random kid.
Don't do that.
No kidnapping.
I think Chucky Cheese has a no kidnapping policy both in the restaurant and before you
go.
Funny thing though, there's no sign that says no kidnapping allowed.
I think it's implied.
She thought it would be funny because she won the headline game to send us to Hooters
for the next episode.
So that's the mind of a 13 year old for you.
Yeah.
And hey, a mind of a 13 year old makes gold for us.
Fine dining party of two.
We're going to get into it, but our table is ready.
So we'll see you in a minute.
First impressions.
We're walking up to Hooters.
We haven't even gone in yet and it's pouring rain.
So we're already having a pretty moist time here.
Look at how I just shut you down like that because it's good for the camera.
Come on, man.
It's pouring rain.
So, you know, we're like trying to get in and I can't really tell where the entrance
is just because it's it's the angle.
It's not a building design flaw.
No, and it's also there are puddles of water huge puddles entrance.
Yeah, I'm limping around with the cane right now.
So you're like struggling to find the handicap accessible ramp area.
And I'm just like, I'm just like Peter Parkering over them.
I'm like shooting my hands out like webs catching stuff and swinging on through.
Now, the thing I noticed before we walked in, you know, other than the weather,
there was like this big astroturf area outside that I mean, obviously it's raining
so it wasn't in use, but it wasn't big enough for it to really be outdoor seating.
So I'm kind of curious if it's like, is it just an aesthetic thing
because they're such a pro football, you know, it's a destination for going to an aesthetic thing.
Astroturf is a lifestyle.
Like I've got a life style.
I've got a cousin who took he covered the bed of his truck with astroturf.
And then he put a chair, he put a cooler, he put a grill.
So this man is the tailgate king now.
I like picturing him like rolling up on like some girls like walking down the side of the street.
He just rolls down his window, looks out, just you into astroturf.
Just like he's in the lifestyle, so to speak.
But then we go into the restaurant and it's still raining inside, too.
There were a lot of parallels with this experience where it like kind of felt like a strip club
through through no through no intent from the staff there.
But like, are you sure?
The well, I mean, the design of like the
franchise itself is kind of shading in that direction.
You know, the the servers and we'll get into it more.
You know, they were there to do their job.
Yeah, I'm more thinking about the cash that was changing hands.
And I'm thinking of the brown water dripping from the ceiling into a bucket.
It was very I mean, it was clear it was because of the weather,
but the fact that you have a bucket of brown water is just not not ideal.
It looked like a redneck spit bottle.
Oh, I hate that comparison, but it's not wrong.
So we go in, there's this bucket of brown water in just an oasis of merch.
And boy, were the merch options.
Yes, we actually bought one of the the merch things.
We've got the Hooters Fanny pack up on the Chachki of mediocrity.
Why don't you look at it?
It's a visual marvel. It is.
I really I'm in love with this thing.
This is as marvelous as we are mediocre.
Yeah, but hey, our artist managed to create this from your wonderful sharpie rendering.
It and it came very close.
Like, I mean, it is better and much better.
Yeah, but but it's very close to what was envisioned and hoped for.
Now, let's talk about the merch.
There was so there was a Fanny pack.
There were some shirts.
There were Coosies.
There were girl calendars girl's calendars are one of America's best selling calendars.
I feel like we'll hear more about that soon.
The shirts really stood out to me.
There was a shirt that said Hooters in the normal logo.
Virginity rocks and it tickled me.
Garrett, there was another one to Hot Moms.
Well, it was I was an I heart.
Yeah, I heart Hot Moms.
I heart Hot Moms.
Hooters knows what it is.
Yeah, no, they know what they're doing.
Hooters is nothing but consistently on brand.
And speaking of consistently on brand,
Garrett, we are consistently on brand because we have merchandise to and you can see it.
You can see all of it right here.
We have a shirt with the fine dining logo front and center on it.
You can get this in black or white.
We have our perfectly adequate Olive Garden t-shirt.
This is in honor of our musical that we made perfectly adequate.
Our Olive Garden musical.
We have our Pizza Hut Lookout shirt.
Garrett is currently wearing it.
We've gotten a whole bunch of colors.
We've got it. What black, white,
a royal royal blue.
It's amazing.
Royal blue, purple, and we have the He's My Son t-shirt.
This is all the way back from episode number three,
when Michael had to make a pineapple sun and bring it with us to our meal at the Old Spaghetti Factory.
I got him a booster seat and tried to spoon feed him soup, but he was fussy.
And speaking of fussy, you can get a fussy little boy shirt like the one I'm wearing right now.
This is modeled after the Bob's Big Boy logo
and the song that pops up from time to time in our episodes,
when one of us is being a little bit difficult.
Now back to that Old Spaghetti Factory episode.
We have another version of Juicy, just like an embroidered pocket logo and speaking of pocket logos.
Hey, we've got the show logo fine dining in a pocket tee style.
See how beautiful this would look emblazoned on your chest.
And we have that one in black and white as well.
So just like we say in our outro song, buy our t-shirts, then put them on.
What else do we notice in that entranceway?
There's a cardboard cutout of a Hooters girl.
Now, we also just started taking a bunch of pictures of the entranceway
because it's kind of a thing we do and we just look like tourists.
But like there was no weight.
And so our table was kind of ready right away.
So they like greeted us and they were just looking at us weirdly
while we took pictures and then started walking back to the table.
And I was like, oh, I guess we should follow.
So I guess we kind of looked a little lost in that moment.
Garrett, why don't we just jump into our segment?
Resty fact roundup.
Hooters was founded in Clearwater, Florida
on April Fool's Day in 1983.
Was it was it intentionally April Fool's Day?
Yes. Was it really intentionally April Fool's Day
by the original founders as they called themselves the Hooters six.
They chose April Fool's Day because they were convinced
the business was going to fail and it ended up being one of the like
most iconic American chains that that exists.
They fell right into success.
They started a genre of breast and they started the restaurant.
They started the restaurant. Yeah.
Their actual first mission in making this restaurant
was to create a place that they, quote, can't get kicked out of.
Woof. Yeah.
This this is all right.
First of all, the fact that they called themselves the Hooters six
before Hooters existed literally just is a breast reference,
which already tells me what I'm to expect
when I'm hearing stories about these six.
I'm sure they're shibble.
Yes, they're I like to think they're kind of like a discount anti hero team.
I picture all of their hair perfectly slicked back.
One guy has like anime Goku hair and he's the wild one.
Yeah, they're all the wild one.
They're the Hooters six.
The name Hooters came from a Steve Martin SNL sketch.
Interesting. I think I've actually seen that one.
I think there's like a bunch of different words for.
Yeah, exactly.
He's just naming off different breast name, breast nomenclature.
Hooters itself gets all of its success thanks to one moment.
The assumption I want to make is annual moment of every year of the Super Bowl.
Or do you mean a specific one?
A specific Super Bowl Super Bowl 18.
It was played between the Raiders and the Washington football team in nearby Tampa Bay.
OK, many of the players went to Hooters to eat wings after the fact.
After the fact during and after the fact and before the fact.
So there was crap ton of media attention because these star football players
were eating thousands of dollars worth of wings at this restaurant.
OK, what year was that?
So 18 February of 84.
OK, so they've been around a while.
What year did you say they were founded?
They founded in 1983. 83. OK.
And by 84. Yes, literally one year. Wow.
So 40 years later, after Washington played the Raiders in the Super Bowl in Tampa Bay,
everything comes back together again in Tampa Bay.
One of the co-founders of Hooters.
He happens to be great friends with John Gruden,
who is John Gruden won a Super Bowl while coaching the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
And guess who he was just fired from?
The Raiders. Interesting.
And he was disgraced because he was in a misogynist, homophobic and racist
email chain with the president of the Washington football team.
And guess who else?
Is it a slick backed hair guy?
The slick backed hair guy, one of the Hooters co-founders.
Great. I mean, I'll look him up and find out he was like bald or something.
And he has been bald this whole time.
Only one person has managed to escape this completely unscathed.
The Washington coach.
Now he was fired. Oh, the only person that made it out alive.
The Hooters co-founder alive. Wow.
And by alive, I mean reputation.
Now, but here's the thing.
When you make your brand a restaurant, it's like the other people,
we have a standard for them.
Yeah, for the Hooters guy, it's just like he probably does donuts in front
of poor people just for fun, just to show off his car.
And I would be like, he's not getting canceled for that
because you expect it from, you know, the Hooters six.
The restaurant co-founder acted appropriately for his brand.
This weird group of extremely lucky dad joke slinging, potentially handsy
ne'er-do-wells. You sound like you've rehearsed this maybe.
So these men, they think it's a great idea to stage a fake arrest.
Uh-huh. They call fake cops on themselves
because they don't have a liquor license to drum up publicity.
Wait, what?
They actually don't have a liquor license.
They did not have a liquor license when they ran it themselves out.
But the fake cops. What a weird ploy.
So as it turns out, that was probably the wild cards idea with the Goku hair.
So he's like, OK, well, if we're fake arrested, we're not real arrested.
Uh-huh. Hey, it worked out.
Another founder. How did that work out?
What is that? You need to give me the follow up.
There is no follow up.
It worked out in every happily ever after.
They did this stupid prank and it worked in their favor.
End of story.
Like, is it just like the cops were like, oh, they were already arrested.
So we're not going to go.
Never came. I don't know.
Let's say you're at a party.
Uh-huh.
There's this doesn't add up to me.
A bunch of legal drug use.
Uh-huh. The cops show up.
Yeah.
Are you going to call the cops on that party
when you see the cops at the party?
I guess what I need to know is, typically,
if you get the cops called on you for not having a liquor license,
is that because a patron called the cops on you?
Potentially, because that's what I'm wondering.
Like any number of reasons.
I feel like there's probably like an inspector that comes.
I don't know what the actual like bureaucratic process of this is.
But like, but hey, this is the Hooters six we're talking about.
Laws don't matter to them.
This is nonsense.
OK, another one of these men was charged with two counts of tax evasion.
That adds up. Slick back hair.
I'm seeing it.
This is where it gets weird.
This is where it gets weird.
Yeah, this is where it gets weird.
OK, another founder proposed to a former Hooters girl
at a Miami swimsuit pageant in front of a crowd of 2,000 people
while live broadcasting it to 400 different Hooters restaurants.
How did that go?
Very successfully.
They're still married to this day.
Oh, good for them.
Yeah. So this man.
Was she a participant in the swimsuit pageant?
She won it. Oh, OK.
Did he do it like after he knew she won?
No. OK, good.
I think it was a surprise. You know what?
That's a support system I can get behind.
He's like, look, when loser draw, I'm here for you.
And then then she goes on to win.
It's he's not in it for money.
Do you win money at a swim suit competition?
Probably. Yeah.
The first Hooters girl, Lynn Austin, was offered the job
as a result of everyone's favorite classy co-founder
betting his buddies that he could get the winner to work for him.
And this was a different swimsuit competition winner, not the one he married.
Oh, great.
He's got a thing for swimsuit competition women.
And oh, it gets worse.
OK.
You know, those orange short shorts that all the Hooters girls have to wear.
Yeah.
They were inspired by the exact jogging shorts worn
and ogled at by this gentlemanly co-founders, beautiful secretary.
So she wore these pants while running.
Yeah, I this is just gross.
I hate this.
I feel sick reading these things.
Yeah, I don't know if these details are fun.
Like, OK, well, they're informative for sure.
More disturbing things.
Mm hmm.
So the Hooters girls, they're hired as not servers.
They're hired as entertainers.
That's that's my guess.
Yeah, so they can exploit a legal loophole that allows them to discriminate
based on age and appearance.
Really?
Yes, that is gross.
It's just literally casting a movie.
Yeah, it's so gross.
Yeah. Back to the rest of the co-founders.
Yeah, they weren't all terrible.
One of their original goals was to provide manly food in a nostalgic environment.
So you know what they did?
What?
They put on a bunch of 50s and 60s music and wood paneled the heck out of the place,
which it looks like the wood paneling has kind of stuck with.
Yeah, the music seemed like modern.
It was modern music, wood paneling, the wood on the floors.
But I just what about the 50s, the 60s and wood makes you think manly?
Like lumber, I think, manly.
But this is like, oh, like this is just wood on the walls and the floors.
I don't get it. I don't know.
They're not allowed to wear their uniform at all outside of work.
Yeah, it's a completely fireable offense, like allegedly gaining weight also is.
Oh, man. Yeah.
These these six rascals.
Oh, hey, here's something good.
Yeah, they have a video game.
They have a Hooters video game video game.
OK, Hooters Road Trip.
It came out for the original PlayStation.
Uh-huh. I think it was named like on a 100 worst games of the decade.
I can't imagine that being true.
It's cool. It has loading screens and cut scenes featuring Hooters Girls.
Of course it does.
I feel like that's most of what the game is.
They have a sponsored race car.
I believe that they had an airline at one point.
Like a full on airline Hooters airline with Hooters Girls and all.
Wow. Also, they have a casino.
When? When did they have that airline?
The airline sounds like an 80s thing.
No, that was like a 90s, 2000s thing.
Really? Yeah.
Huh. And teach me so much, Garrett.
Not all of it I want to know, but some of it.
Yeah, for sure.
I'm going to leave this on another nonsexual harassment note.
Oh, great.
They also had a syndicated TV show.
Did they really? Yeah.
So the sitcom almost.
The Hooters Girls just gave like movie reviews, TV reviews and stuff.
So like it was cool.
All right. Not sexual harassing.
Well, that's been this week's rusty factor.
Bresty fact roundup.
Oh, it's it's what it's been.
Don't don't pretend it's been anything else.
It has been exactly that.
God. Oh.
Atmosphere.
OK, well, you've already kind of touched on what the atmosphere is
with the wood paneling.
It's on the walls. It's on the floors.
There's not a lot of neon, but for some reason,
the room entirely feels lit by neon.
It's just kind of that color.
Yeah, it's like it's the fluorescent lighting reflecting off the like
safety orange wall.
Yeah.
There's a lot of sports memorabilia.
There's like football players.
Yeah, full cut out.
Super cut out on the wall.
That's the first thing that we saw when we walk in.
There's just football players on the back wall.
Everything is cohesive.
It knows what it is.
Dress to wood paneling to the color of the paint to the lighting.
Yeah, the pictures.
There's a there's a cool like silhouetted photo of like presumably
a Hooters girl, but a woman on a beach or something.
A bunch of dad jokes everywhere.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I have them written down.
I'm going to I'm going to read a couple.
If Hooters delivered, would it be called knockers?
Stupid.
There was a sign on the wall that said,
warning, consumption of alcohol may lead you to think you have a chance
with a Hooters girl.
Well, so the sign is like selling them down the river.
Yeah. Oh, so you can act like a Hooters co-founder, too.
Oh, God.
They did have signs kind of honoring the military.
They let you know that they have military Monday.
I think it's like 20 percent off if you're active military on Mondays
or something like that.
My favorite little sports memorabilia they had was a sign that said,
I may be small, but I am a huge angels fan.
But nothing about it seemed like it was for a kid.
Like it wasn't like a kid's t-shirt or just a small,
like it wasn't like a baby thing.
It was just like a pennant.
And I feel like it was just a backhanded compliment at angels fans.
Oh, of course, their fan base is obviously minuscule.
It really just felt like they were just needlessly shitting on a team
that maybe they don't like.
Hey, there.
Here at Underachiever, we admit there are certain teams that we just don't like.
But thanks to our licensing agreement,
we're forced to make merchandise representing every team in the league.
So if you're one of the 18 angels fans out there, we got you covered.
Do you support the Pacers?
Well, how about you try one of our all punch of fan for Indiana?
Foam boxing fists.
And hey, just in time for the Hootable,
check out our Better Luck Next Year American football collection
with such supportive phrases as Fornaro.
I'm hashtag blessed as a Bills fan.
My quarterback is as reliable as my power grid.
Go Cowboys, go.
And for our friends in the Bay Area, get a grip on this extra special, all new item.
I got a pretty strong feeling the Niners got this one.
Replica football.
Buy a gift for a friend today and tell them how trash their tastes are.
Oh, wow, do we have Super Bowl commercials?
Heck, yeah, we do.
Nice. But hey, no, no, no, these are not Super Bowl commercials.
These are Hootable commercials.
I get you. I get you. Get it right.
We have our own product here. We do.
Now, another thing that I noticed is it felt like everyone was shooting their shot.
Oh, obviously, many different ages, too.
Many different ages.
We, you know, of course, we have the obviously divorced dad there by himself.
Kind of sad.
Eating his basket of wings and five beers.
Winking at waitress. Winking at wait.
That's gross. Garrett Garrett.
Has a wing ever worked?
Yes, a wink has successfully gotten schmutz out of my eye.
Has a wink ever successfully been the reason that someone was like, oh,
I'm interested in that person.
Give me a wink to the to the camera, Garrett.
That's sexy. No, it's not.
It doesn't. Don't do that.
Winking is bottom tier effort of trying to pick somebody up.
And that's that's the divorced dad move.
It's a wink. It's paying with cash.
It's, you know, it's taking a while to like
to rifle through the cash in your wallet, because you have so much.
That's what we saw.
That that that's fitting.
That that reminds me of my first experience of learning what Hooters was.
Wait, yeah.
I was like seven years old.
Great. I was even at Hooters.
I was at my uncle's shop and there were a bunch of pictures of Hooters girls.
By themselves or with like your uncle.
Oh, no, just by themselves.
It was like a calendar and some racing pictures and stuff.
And I'm OK.
I don't really quite know what's happening.
I'm just like, oh, what's that?
So he's like, hey, you know what?
This restaurant is called Hooters.
Beautiful women are there.
What you have to do when you grow up, you go to Hooters,
you drop your silverware directly in front of them.
Here's the fun part.
You watch them pick it up.
And you're seven and you're like, why?
Yeah, I had no idea.
I didn't. That's gross.
Yeah, I had no idea how messed up that was until I became an adult.
We really were raised by a much more exploitative generation, weren't we?
I mean, there were kids there.
Didn't you see a kid shoot his shot?
Oh, boy, did I.
So a family came in.
It was probably like five teenage boys, like a couple of teenage girls,
a mom, a grandma or whatever.
And the boys had what they were putting off.
What I would describe is like big, healy energy.
Just like, you know, those those little roller skate shoes
that you like, just heal back and you're really dated yourself with that reference.
Big, healy energy.
They just had like backwards baseball caps and just kind of like
that unearned swagger that only a 13 year old boy can have.
So they're going to grow up to be Hooters co-founders.
Oh, they've got all the potential in the world to to run
like a Twin Peaks competitor.
Oh, God.
And I was like, this has got to be a birthday party.
The kid was he had to be asked by his mom, like, what do you want to do for your birthday?
I want to go to Hooters.
I want to see boobs.
Breasturant culture has revolved around one thing, boobs.
We've been kept abreast of why you're here.
Take a stroll down memory lane and just admit it.
It really doesn't matter what excuse you boob.
You're here for all the zon reasons.
They're not a big deal.
They're Juggz boobs.
Let us bring you your wings and leave us a boobs.
Boo boobs.
Boo boob boobs.
Titty boob boobs.
Boops.
Boo boobs.
Titty boob boobs.
Boo boobs.
Boo boobs.
Boo boobs.
Boo boobs.
Tittys.
Boo boobs.
Boo boobs.
Boo boobs.
Boo boobs.
Boo boobs.
Titty boobs.
Boo boobs.
Tattas.
Yeah, these kids just, you could tell that boobs were kind of just
wide.
They were novel to them.
And they were there with like a couple,
like there were a couple teenage girls at the table,
probably siblings or something who never looked away from their phones.
They were just not engrossed in the Hooters experience at all.
And why, you know, why would they be?
It's not for them.
No, not at all.
But I don't know.
I can identify with these boys.
I think back to sixth grade when Titanic came out.
Was that your first boobs?
My first boobs were in sixth grade Titanic.
My first boobs were Titanic as well.
I remember we ended up owning Titanic on VHS and it had the two,
it was the two videos.
And so I would always go to the boob scene.
And was it in tape two?
I think it was tape two.
And so I remember watching all the way through tape one and just being mad.
Like all there was was like the steamy hand on the car window slide,
but there wasn't the drawing scene.
And so I just would leave tape one unruh wound.
And then I would go back and be like,
wait, I'm leaving sloppy evidence.
And I would like make sure I rewound them just to not get caught.
I did the same thing too.
But once I got to the breast scene, I made sure I rewound it to before the breast scene.
So if anyone else found this tape, they're like, you know, it wasn't right after not see the breast scene.
Although I would almost bet money that no one knows exactly what scene comes after the breast scene.
So really, if you just have it to right after the breast scene,
they'll probably start playing and not even think about the breast scene.
Because you're the 13 year old.
You're the one who's just thinking about breasts.
I'm still thinking about the breast scene.
You know, the kids, you could tell they were having a fun time with the Hooters waitress.
They got a picture with their divorce dad counting his cash.
He shot his shot.
It didn't work out.
Speaking of shooting shots that didn't work out,
there was another table that I think you were they were in your vantage point.
There were like three guys all about our age or so.
Yeah, it's you could tell they've been drinking a lot.
Great bill.
Yeah, snapback.
Clean snapback hats.
Yeah.
So this is what kind of clued me in.
Yeah.
Every time their server walked over the two guys on the outside of the table,
they both stood up.
I noticed that there was so much just logistical moving.
It's like they were trying to box this little girl in.
They were trying to entrap her into just more time with them.
Yeah.
And they kept getting her attention.
They were like right by the door to the kitchen.
So every time she came back and forth, they tried to grab her attention.
It was just.
And every time.
Rose.
Every time she left, you know, they were all smiles and laughing.
And I'm I'm like, God, they think they're killing it.
I promise they weren't killing it.
No, no, no, no, these these men were disgusting.
I mean, there were a few tables.
There was the table that ended up behind you kind of toward the later part of the meal
that was doing kind of the same.
They were literally cat calling servers that were walking by.
I just heard a bunch of obscenities in Spanish.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
When you like, I don't know, there's one word, the Spanish word for penis.
Every time I hear that, that just clues me and instantly something's happening.
There were so many like dejected looking guys walking out of the.
Because like what do you think you have something new to offer?
Do you think you're going into a Hooters and you're going to be something that these
waitresses haven't seen before?
Well, obviously, yeah, they do.
They obviously think it.
They're all shooting their shot.
They're not guys.
You are not special.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Go there and eat.
Enjoy it.
Like, yeah, it's it's an exploitative place.
There are pretty women around.
Yeah, you don't have to.
We did choose to go there expecting to witness this type of behavior.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't think I was wanting to witness it, but I was certainly expecting to.
It was an expectation that lived up to it, but just it was very funny to me that like
clearly they're all trying to get phone numbers.
And we actually do have a phone number for all those guys.
Strike out again at your local Hooters while trying to score your server's digits.
Come here, big fella.
We've got you.
Call 1-800-NOT-SHIT and we'll tell you what you need to hear.
Feeling like shit?
Don't do that because you're not shit.
Hey, psst.
We actually meant it the other way.
1-800-NOT-SHIT.
You heard us right.
What do you think?
You've got something special?
You don't think they're hit on every day by men who have way more to offer than you?
You're not shit, dude.
Keep walking.
You know what?
Don't call.
Now, of course, it wouldn't be a standard dining experience with you and I if we didn't
notice something kind of strange happening.
Yeah.
And this happened really early on.
It was like one of the first things I noticed.
You pointed it out and I was worried that it would be a thing that kind of pervaded
through the entire meal.
But it kind of only lasted like a minute and that makes it almost weirder.
The entire restaurant was seated still.
Their shoulders were straight.
Their posture was great.
They weren't talking.
They weren't moving.
They weren't even looking at the TVs.
It looked like it.
They were just catatonic.
Everyone was just still.
It was so weird and I thought it would be an exaggeration.
Like you pointed it out.
You were like, hey, look, and I like turned around and I noticed like everyone and it
just seemed like no one like they weren't even particularly on their phones.
There was just so little movement from everybody that we could see in the restaurant.
The servers were still moving around.
They were the only ones moving around.
The bar area was kind of an anomaly, but like all the tables in the dining room.
Everyone was still and it just it leads to a question, Garrett.
What's going on over there?
What's going on over there?
What's going on over there?
Should I wear it?
Should I dance?
What is going on over there?
What's going on over there?
I think there was so much desperation.
There was so much thirst that time stopped.
It was like the universe was like, Jesus, the quota has been filled.
You all need a minute to the universe put them in time.
We had a one minute timeout.
It's like 50 year old.
No, 13 year old.
No, 30 year old guys.
No, just chill.
Okay.
Just relax.
Respect the women, please.
Just respect the women.
That's all we're asking for.
That's all the universe is asking for.
The universe just wanted to reach an equilibrium of respect.
And Hooters is the place it chose.
Hooters was the place it chose to punish.
Yeah, it chose to punish it.
It explains exactly why the waitresses were still moving.
Yeah, because they're not the problem here.
It explains why the bar area was still moving.
They're not the problem.
They're not being served.
No.
They're the ones like, it's just one bartender and like,
how much time can you get with a bartender?
It actually, but every potential ogler was frozen.
Every potential.
That's why we weren't frozen.
Yeah, because we're gentlemen.
Yeah.
I think that's what was going on over there.
Completely what's going on over there.
Now, speaking of the universe, putting people in timeout,
there was one guy in particular who probably should have been put in timeout.
We overheard a guy say to a server.
Here, I've got the quote.
Oh, I've got the quote.
Oh, you've got the quote.
It's gross.
It's really gross.
I would never cheat on my girlfriend, but if I did, it would be with you.
Oh, this is why we can't have nice things.
God, guys, why are you doing this?
Now, speaking of nice things, despite all the chaos that we have talked about.
We had a good time.
I had a good time.
We sort of blasted Hooters, and we will get more into why we had a blast.
Colorful characters are entertaining, period.
They are, as long as they don't, you know, get out of control or anything like that.
Like saying gross stuff is kind of expected.
Yeah.
No one acted on anything.
So at the very least, I'm like, all right, nothing went down.
There's just people proving themselves to be kind of scummy here.
Luckily for us, at every table, if you get a little scummy, they've got wet naps for you.
Yeah, you can clean yourself off.
You can clean yourself off.
They had, like, branded with, like, different quotes, and it almost felt like trading cards.
Like, gotta collect all of the different slogans that they can put on these.
Gotta clean them all.
Wet wipes.
I bet you that the guy who was, like, making all of them probably felt so good,
so proud of each of these moderate jokes that he, like,
three of the five didn't even register as attempts at humor, I guess.
But hey, like, the bar here is dad joke.
So that's what we're working with.
Yeah, um, I want to know more about that guy.
Yeah.
And now, a word from our totally not made up sponsor.
Oh, hi there.
It's a favorite sponsor job, and you can see me in person now.
I didn't know what to wear, so I just grabbed stuff out of the local Goodwill donation bin.
I think it looks pretty snazzy.
You do too.
After last week, I'm retired from selling vibrator.
Three mishaps in one calendar year.
Not a good look.
So job, what you got for us this week?
Well, I'll tell you.
You know those little collectible phrase wet naps that they've got at the Hooters?
Well, old job is submitting to be that guy who comes up with new phrases.
I was thinking about doing one that says something like,
You've been served.
But I decided against it for two reasons.
One, I think it may hit home for a lot of the people there who are facing impending lawsuits.
And number two, they don't have servers at Hooters.
They have entertainers.
But then I thought, are you not entertained?
But that's from the movie Gladiator.
I'm not trying to perpetuate man-on-man violence.
That's put me in the can for three years in the past.
And I'm not going back.
I've got so many shift scars it would make a bin cushion blush.
But a bin cushion can't blush because it doesn't have blood.
Unlike me, like when I was getting shived.
But if you're looking to clean up a mess,
whether it's buffalo sauce or shiv blood,
reach for these wet naps and I've got you covered.
Okay, bye.
Now, the specific wet naps that they had at Hooters,
there was one that just said, keep it clean, keep it clean.
There's one that said.
Is that like a Mr. Clean reject phrase?
I guess, yeah.
There was one that says common sense isn't.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
It just says common sense isn't.
Present here.
I would assume it was like common sense.
Isn't it like to wipe your hands or something?
I don't know.
It just feels like something's missing.
There's two wrongs don't make a right,
but three rights make a left.
That's a dad joke.
That's a certifiable dad joke.
As is this one, towelette is French for towelette.
And lastly, those wings never had a chance.
Cringy, cringy, but you know, they tried.
And I did actually have a blast trying to collect them all,
just like going through the little container, dumping it out,
being like, all right, I have duplicates.
You want to trade?
Now here's the question.
How many shinies did you get?
I didn't get any.
There were no holographic wet naps.
Ah, damn it.
We got to give a rating.
Yes, we do.
We got to put our thumbs up, down, or in the middle
for Hooters atmosphere.
All things considered, the amount of just harassment that we
witnessed kind of cancels out some of the fun that we had.
So I'm just going to go straight up.
No thumbs.
I don't know if I do one in the middle,
or if I just do like a weird fist.
I don't know what to make now that we're video, but no thumbs,
no thumbs for the atmosphere for me.
This is all I've got written down for this.
It's an uncomfortably loud wood paneled sneaker box
filled with casual sexual harassment and male stereotypes.
One thumb down.
I think it's earned.
One thumb down.
One thumb down.
Well, it wouldn't be the Hooters Bowl
if we didn't have a halftime show.
Exactly.
We need a halftime show.
We need a halftime show.
So everyone, give it up for the immensely talented Bonnie Gordon.
Hooters Bowl 2023.
I'm Bonnie Gordon.
Let's sing about mental illness.
Well, I'm since I was a girl.
I knew I'd always lose.
I couldn't find my toys or repair a match and shoes.
Running around my room at the speed of light.
Darken so fast, my stories would last.
I was into the night, blaming on the poor.
Letters at my core.
Oh, my leg, I'm shaking.
And my nails, I'm chewing.
Yeah, I'm always dreaming.
Hardly doing.
Forgot to wind the clock.
It's why I'm always late.
But in the bottom right, I'm timed,
no matter how long you wait.
Giving me a choice.
I'm always on the fence.
My thoughts are so scrambled.
Sometimes my words don't make any squirrel.
Blame it on the poor.
Letters at my core.
Yeah, everything I say can be misconstruing.
Because I'm always dreaming.
Hardly doing.
Well, I gotta clean my place.
But I don't know how to pace.
I'm not worth the DVDs.
Oh, three hours passed.
Just sitting on my eyes.
Sorting by genre, by color.
And alphabetically.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Who'd have thought 2023 makes some noise?
We're getting like noise complaints from neighbors.
But like, keep it up.
It's good.
Just a little quieter.
Um.
Makes some noise, but not too much noise.
Yeah, OK.
Go, go, go.
I'm working on six projects.
Because I can't focus on one.
With everything all at once.
Nothing ever gets done.
Some say it's a problem.
Something wrong with my brain.
The rules of society raise my anxiety.
I wouldn't change a thing.
Blame it on the poor.
Letters at my core.
Yeah, my mama says.
That I never stop moving.
Because I'm always, always late on the floor.
Letters at my core.
Pumping a pill could be subdued to my always, always.
Hardly do it.
Don't be a few men.
I'm amusing.
When it comes to the path that I'm pursuing,
it helps to be always dreaming.
Hardly A.
D.
H.
Not bad.
OK.
But seriously, where did that squirrel go?
What?
You should probably call Animal Control.
Did you finish the song?
D.
OK, thanks for coming.
Go get the squirrel.
Go get the squirrel.
Michael and Garrett, back to you.
Service.
We have to talk about the service.
Oh, yes.
Because the service is what made our experience as good as it was.
We had a very mediocre atmosphere.
I mean, you even give it a thumbs down.
Yeah, it was a little negative for me.
It was uncomfortable.
Service was phenomenal.
Yes, I don't even know how to describe it.
It was just great.
You'd think, OK, yeah, sure.
You go to Hooters.
The Hooters girls are going to try their best
to give you the best entertainment experience possible.
Well, no, I mean, here's the thing.
I think it comes across a certain way
that we're about to gush about our Hooters girls.
Oh, no, exactly, it does.
But she was awesome.
Her name was Amy.
We had a lot of questions of just like,
how do things work around here?
What's it like working here?
This is actually the first time
that our employee story
that people are going to hear
from the chain restaurant that we visited
this week
is from our actual server.
Yes.
She really was great.
She was very accommodating,
seemed fun.
I think she could tell kind of early on
that we weren't creeps and therefore
we didn't get the creep treatment.
And not even that.
What really struck home for me is
she was natural.
We weren't getting a performance.
I do feel like she was very real to us.
She was. I felt like we were just like
hanging out with one of our friends.
She was just one of the girls.
Now, to kind of walk you through
what a standard Hooters experience,
I guess is like,
they write their name on a paper towel.
Just take it off of it,
because there's a big paper towel on the table with you,
largely because you're eating a lot of wings
that have a lot of sauce and stuff.
So of course, wet naps and paper towels.
So she like signs it for you, I guess.
And I didn't realize
that was a little thing that they do
at Hooters, but
we got her autograph.
Her name, now we only give the names
of servers that are exceptional.
I think obviously we can say
her name was Amy
and Amy was
the new best server that we've had.
Yes, Amy's excellent.
We've had a few servers that we've kind of gushed about.
We had Keith at Outback.
We had Sho Ray at Denny's.
We had Brandon at Bubba Gumstrump Company.
Amy is in that tier, I think,
at the top of the pack. Exactly here.
Comparing her to Brandon, Brandon
was excellent. He cared.
He made eye contact. He was jovial,
entertaining. He gave us
Forrest Gump trivia.
He was performing.
He was performing. Amy felt like
Amy was all of these things
naturally on her own.
This was her personality.
She seemed to be having fun with us.
I don't have a lot more to say about her
than she was great.
Basic job as a server. She did all those things.
Refills were there. Plates were taken away.
Just all of the
practical aspects of the job.
The technical practices of
She got that. You know what? I actually will say.
Hooters has some traditions.
Birthday songs.
Also, let's talk about
birthday songs at some of these restaurants.
Some of them do just the
birthday song.
The standard thing. And then a lot of them
have their own kitschy little
birthday song thing that they do.
And they all
start with like the military
like, I don't know what I went to.
It's very like call and response
sort of. It's like
the boomerest thing ever.
It reminds me of a scene from
Stripes. Yeah.
Kind of that era.
Era of just raunchiness maybe?
Not that the birthday song had
raunchiness. Well, actually I didn't hear
the words. I don't know. I just heard some chanting
and some tinfoil hats
were getting thrown around. So that's the thing that stood out.
That's why we're bringing it up. They have
big tinfoil hats.
They had cowboy hats. They had
like pirate hats. Yes, Amy.
She said they do pirate hats. They'll do like fedoras.
It depends on who's making it.
Now those guys
who were like standing up to like
chat with their waitress every time she came
by that we noticed and talked about earlier.
Classy gentlemen, did you get their contact
information? Because I want to invite them on the podcast.
I don't think any of that's true.
We
noticed them leave.
And of course they looked dejected because they didn't
get a number
for all of their attempts
at hitting on their waitress
and other ones that seemed to come by.
They left dejected
and you noticed an opening.
Oh yeah, they left their hat.
Their tinfoil hat that you only get for having
a birthday. They left it on their table.
So I went right over there and took it.
And we actually have a video of that
that we'll put on our socials.
That's right. We're on
Instagram at Find Dining Podcast.
We're on TikTok at Find Dining
Podcast and you can email us
whatever you want. Find Dining Podcast
at gmail.com. We might regret
that, but I don't know. Maybe we won't.
They didn't deserve
the hat. You awkwardly just kind
of like mall walk to over
like trying to be like we're not
trying to make a scene, but I'm totally going to
steal a hat. And then of course...
I'm an 80's mom. Is it a manager who noticed
you? I think yeah.
One of the employees... One of the male
employees noticed... A
Jacked Buff Busser.
Bringing him back from our Island's episode.
Jacked Buff Bussers.
Yeah, noticed and like asked you about it
and I like just from my camera from a
distance just kind of saw you like
low key just like playing it off. Walk
back, take the hat. And then those
guys walk back.
And it's like are they...
Do they want their hat back? Because they kind of went back
to the table and then walked away dejected
and we're just like Garrett don't
make eye contact.
Don't let... Don't let on that it's not
your birthday. They'll ID you.
Anyways
this day was your birthday because you got
a tinfoil hat and Amy
came over and
I don't know if she was bluffing but she was like
oh man I would have made you one. And I don't
know if it was like one of those things where it's
like you say a thing that's like a hollow
oh I would have done that but I can only
safely say that because I know that
you already have the hat and now I don't need
to. So you get to look like the hero
but I jumped on it immediately and was like
I'll take one.
And guess what? Minutes later
she comes out with
like a giant pirate hat
tinfoil. It was
awesome. It was better than mine. It was
impractical. It's very tough to wear
and like sit in a seat. But the fact
that she did that I thought was awesome.
Now I did have a question for
her. We noticed another
Hooters waitress talking to
presumably a manager or something like that
and she had a black uniform
on. And I just
turned to Amy and I was like
is she the final boss
Hooters or something? Is she the head
Hooters? Yeah
I don't know it's just like one
she told me it's the bartender uniform
so it's not really an exciting
answer but I man I thought
I thought we found a real life shiny
like a shiny Pokemon
or something. But as it turns out
everyone wears black on Mondays and
Fridays. That
and bartenders. And bartenders all the time.
So yeah if you see a black uniform
on a Hooters girl it's Monday, Friday
or they're a bartender. Trivia for you
I guess.
Another thing I wanted to know is like
if we're talking about the whole service staff
the bus boys. You know I made the joke
about the jacked buff bussers but there's kind of a
truth to like
some of the girls who had more
I guess. Mail attention?
Mail attention
seemed those tables with the mail attention
seemed to get more
Hooters employee
mail attention because like the bussers
would just kind of hang out in the area. It's like they were
setting up like a defensive
formation around the perimeter. Like they were
like these were the jacked buff bussers
security guard system
which is actually one of our sponsors.
Yes.
Jacked buff bussers
bus boys who are jacked and buff
they'll get those dishes to the back
but perhaps more importantly
hey
baby come over here
really dude
I hope you were whistling that
me
because if you weren't we got a serious problem
yeah I'll get going
yeah
that's what I thought
Jacked buff bussers they'll take the trash
out then take the trash out
now also there was a
a sign on the way
out of the restaurant that's like on the worst
wall to have an actual
policy
because no one's seeing it until you're leaving
that said no photos or videos
of like for the for the privacy
of the servers
which
we asked Amy
she's like yeah a lot of people ask to take photos
sometimes it's creepy people
sometimes it's you know
just people having a good time families like young
like families will do it because it is
it is kind of a touristy destination I mean
I know it's a national chain but like
you know it is a spot where it's like
you make a day out of it
yeah it's a definite Breastination
Garrett yes
you coined a thing
Breastination Hooters
oh god now I want to make
final Breastination
just a bunch of Hooters
wait this is just start dying like
through random forces of nature
oh god I don't want to actually
make that but that's very funny
that should have been one of the movie
reviews they did on their syndicated TV
show
final Breastination
yeah and that sign is there
obviously because there's probably a
decent amount of people I mean we even
saw a decent amount of people shooting their shot
you know a little harassy
some harass holes
there were some harass holes yes do I get the coin
something now
you are not a harass hole you are the
coiner of the harass hole thank you
yeah these people should be banned
from Hooters but only banned from dining
in exactly because I want
people like Amy to be
able to still make money from these people
who are wanting to go to Hooters
for the food like
everyone does
did you cross
one too many boundaries and now you're
not even allowed to eat inside
of Hooters yeah
I asked for a wing
and a breast
and then I winked at my waitress
you dog
well now you can still eat all the Hooters
you want with none of the shame
I don't have any shame
incapable actually
with pickup lines these are the things you
can say when you pick up
your to-go order from the front and promptly
get the hell out of there
or else I'd get involved
you wouldn't want to mess with old Zeus
now would you?
no sir I wouldn't
I would not no
great try out a pickup line
can I get an extra ranch
dressing to go
and nothing else
oh yeah
are napkins
included?
good now you're getting it now go
free to go
alright adios
ahem
didn't see a tip then
you're gonna ask more like
this is what a jack buff buster looks like
yeah
pickup lines be better
another thing I really liked about Amy
she was on the ball
she remembered our orders verbatim
and we even made sauce changes
like we were difficult
so I mean we'll get into the food
in a minute but the
appetizer we ordered had
the shrimp boneless wings
and traditional wings
so it had three things on a platter and they all
like one of them comes with a lemon pepper
one comes with an original sauce one comes with
like a buffalo or like a spicier
I don't remember what they actually come with
but we got modifications for like three things
she wasn't writing any of it down
she got it all right
she just named it off right away
yeah so very like present
attentive it's what you want in a server
so easy two thumbs up
I would say
this is a two thumbs up
I'm feeling even like a 10 out of 10
two thumbs up
yeah like the rotten tomatoes score where it's like
yeah give it a thumbs up but I also give it a 10 out of 10
amazing
maybe about a year ago I was dating this guy
and three months prior to this
I found a note in his car
it was a love note basically but I chose to ignore it
because we weren't officially dating
fast forward to three months later I'm bartending
I had just gotten promoted and he's here visiting me
and
I see him talking outside with this girl
but then I recognize her because I found her
Instagram
so it's the girl from the note
from his car he comes back in
and immediately I'm obviously
upset I tell him to get out
and pay his bill and get out
he's like I don't know what you're talking about
you're crazy I look at him in the eye and I'm like
so you're gonna tell me that that's not and I say her name
his face goes white
and while all this is happening I see that
she's still sitting inside at one of the tables
so I get even angrier
I'm working behind the bar and I'm breaking like
three glasses at this point it's like 15 minutes
into me finding out and I've broken three glasses so far
I'm like I cannot continue to do this
thankfully I'm really cool with my managers
I go and I tell them everything and they're like
here you have to go talk to her
so I go and I talk to her and I'm like
hey I just want to know what's going on with that guy
that you were talking to and she immediately
she's like I'm so sorry
and then she says something really weird
she's like just know that he likes you
more than he likes me
so automatically I'm like okay this is a little
weird but I'm pissed I'm like whatever
I get up I leave I go home for the day
call it a day and then the next
day I come into work and one of my managers is like
hey why were you talking to blah blah blah
and I'm like how do you know her
and she's like well she worked here like
a month ago for a couple days and then she just
randomly quit so
I don't know if this is like too
stretching it a little bit but I think she was
you know creeping up on me a little bit
so yeah that's my story about
how I got cheated on and got my heart broken
at work
okay so we need to dive into the food
now what I will say overall about this food
is I didn't feel like any of it was
mediocre
it was either really good
or really not good
it's like it's like they concentrated
their efforts in a few places
really well and then they had
some blind spots and some other ones
so we'll go through we got a lot of food
we went with my friends Herbert
and Steven who
you know ordered a bunch of stuff so that we could kind of taste them
so we got two sides
for the table the first one we got
the first one was the
Hooters original buffalo platter
and that was supposed to contain
original Hooters buffalo
shrimp, boneless wings
and original Hooters style
wings those are just the traditional wings
when you say it was supposed to you make it sound
like it didn't when we got it
we changed up the sauces and stuff
we did get the shrimp as is
with a lemon pepper rub
I thought those were
great
I'm not the biggest shrimp fan
this might be the best shrimp dish I've had
I agree these shrimp are
by far the best shrimp I've had
in our run of restaurants so far
I go 8 out of 10 on them
the lemon pepper in and of itself
may have been one of the best lemon pepper rubs I've had
I agree
it worked
it worked
the battering too it was crisp and airy
it felt almost like a tempura batter
yeah it was a great dish
I go 7 out of 10 I'm not the biggest shrimp fan
but 7 out of 10
for me for shrimp that's great
so here's the thing when confronted
with the option of getting shrimp
or other things I'm almost always
going to order other things
I would order these shrimp on their own
over some of the other things
that's how much I like them
now it also had their
bone in and boneless wings
for the boneless we got the honey
chipotle
bone in we got
ghost sauce
which is ghost pepper
it was very spicy
not the worst spice I've ever had
but it definitely packed a punch
I think on those bone in wings
the flavor is what you expect
if you've had ghost pepper before
it wasn't like a stand out
but it was solid and my score for it
is 7 out of 10
it was very consistent with what I expect
of a very spicy wing
the breading was crisp again
they're doing something with their breading
everything stays crisp
I love it
and then the boneless
with the honey chipotle
honey chipotle was good
I really liked the sauce
and I didn't really like the texture
of the wing
is that about where you stand on it
that's 100% where I am
the sauce was sweet and tangy
but it was structurally dry
yeah the sauce was also
a little too thick
it felt syrupy on it
I'm gonna go 6.5 out of 10
it wasn't like in a front to nature
but the
taste of the sauce
saved an otherwise
pretty underwhelming situation I think
and I'm gonna go 5 out of 10
the texture
of the chicken was just really dry and disappointing
I can't go any higher
I mean
this isn't like complaining
how can you taste dryness
through something so soaked in sauce
so when you bite through the wing
if it's tender the chicken
just separates more when you bite
in is it a little tough
this was tough and chewy for me
my bites weren't
but even still it was
just kind of an underwhelming bite
despite it not being that for me
but I mean I guess that accounts for that
1.5 point disparity between us
now the other side that we got were fried pickles
now I'll say this
I'm not a pickle guy this was actually
my first time willingly eating a pickle
of any
of any kind
like I've accidentally had pickles that were in sandwiches
that I didn't want them on but I'm not a big pickle guy
I don't like pickled things
this is your first time
willingly eating a pickle
wow I know
guys I'm 34 years old
this is a fine dining first
Michael has tasted
his first pickle
and then how would you describe the sauce
like Amy said it was an in and out
in and out style sauce
it was like relish
it was a thousand island
yeah it was a little chunky
I liked it I mean I thought it went well
I didn't have a bite of the fried pickles
without that sauce I only had it
I only had without the sauce
you only had without the sauce
did you even try it? I didn't even try the sauce
the pickles were excellent
they were juicy themselves
again it's like a tempura battering
and it was just salty enough
the pickles didn't need the sauce
so I'm again gonna go 6.5 out of 10
now I did like them
I mean 6.5
that's above the halfway point
it means it's a positive experience
I feel like pickled foods are an acquired taste
and juries out on if I continue eating pickled stuff
but I haven't acquired the taste yet
so I think
that just kind of the newness
of it as an experience for me
6.5 out of 10 is about as high
as I'm willing to go on it
I'll go 7 out of 10 for those
the saltiness of the pickle brine
went perfectly with the saltiness of the batter
and everything was crisp enough to stay together
before we move into entrees
I got something that I haven't gotten to have
in a long time
I got a sugary drink
oh you did
for the entirety of 2022
and decided to treat myself
I got a blackberry lemonade
boy have I missed sugary drinks
I'm still limiting myself to only one a week
so I actually saved
all week my one drink
because we went on a Saturday
the final day of the
do weeks end on Saturday to you
or do weeks end on Sunday to you
there is no beginning
or end of weeks
new episodes launch every Wednesday
that's not the question
and you know it
I have no beginning or end of the week
I'm talking philosophically
the week
what day does the week start on
when you open up a calendar
do you prefer a calendar to start on Sunday
or to start on Monday
I don't care at all
I have zero preference on this
this is wild to me
this is crazy to me
the week starts on Sunday
the week ends on Saturday
if you don't care then cool
I'm just going to definitively make that statement
when the week starts
or begins
starts or begins
okay weak timing
what bearing does that actually have
on our lives
I can't think of a single thing
just because you live a chaotic life
doesn't mean that the world doesn't follow a structure
cha cha chicken is not open on Monday
health nuts not open
on Monday
I just know some restaurants are open
different days
that's all I care about guys
I can't work with him
well I saved
my drink for the final day of the week
Saturday
all that aside
do we want to talk entrees
or do we want to talk about the sides that came with the entrees first
and we'll kind of go through all the sides
and then we'll kind of go into the main courses
because these sides are great
tater tots
you got waffle fries
I got onion rings
and Herbert got curly fries
I didn't either
did you notice like
he physically put ketchup
on top of his curly fries
while they were in the basket
instead of dipping them separately
I didn't notice that
but that's chaos
I hate it thanks for bringing it to my attention
the onion rings I got
they looked like they were tempura batter
or like the
like panko breaded
kind of looks like little pieces of coconut almost
you can see that
mine weren't that
did you try my onion rings
they were beer battered and sad
they were very sad
they didn't have much to the texture
it felt like the onion started right away
there was no breading to get through
to get to onion
it was the bare minimum
5 out of 10
it was sad and desperate
a lot of the men in this place
Steven's tater tots I thought were good
they were very good
this place knows it's fried food
I'm not the biggest tater tot guy
it's usually kind of the last thing I'll consider
when I'm looking at those potato based sides
so I'm only going 6 out of 10
and that's more based on my position on tater tots
than these specific tater tots
now go 7 out of 10
specifically because
it's like they clean out their fryer well here
it was a clean, crisp
greasy tater tot
if that makes sense it's the oil
was almost refreshing
weird
it was a clean oil
your waffle fry made no impression on me
so I'm going to give it just a straight 5 out of 10
oh wow
did you love them? I loved them
this is an 8 out of 10 waffle fry
I only had 2
I do love a good waffle fry
crisp on the outside
tender on the inside
just salty enough and again with this super clean oil
it was texturally really good
and the flavor just didn't really
speak to me
I just didn't get a lot
it was a really delicate flavor
so now we move into our entrees
so my food
I thought was kind of sad
I got the chicken tenders
they were a new addition to the menu
I got the basket of 5
they didn't offer a lot in the way of breading
I wanted more
of the
the bready goodness
they seemed just like larger versions of the boneless wings
yes
but then
much like your experience with the boneless wings
the inside was very dry to me
so I regretted my choice
I did
I wish I had gotten another thing
you tasted it too right?
oh but you got sauces with those
they really saved those chicken tenders
I agree with you completely
they were sub-par tenders themselves
they were conduits for sauce
but was it a general so's sauce
I'll get into the sauces
the tenders on their own though
I give a 5.5 out of 10
but the sauces
once I put those into my face
I had a general so's sauce
and I had a spicy garlic sauce
the spicy garlic was awesome
yes it was
the general so's
it just couldn't outperform
the spicy garlic so I had a lot
less of it
6.5 out of 10
that was everything I had until dessert
I'll give you tenders alone
a 4 out of 10
toss the sauces on
5.5
I struggle to get past
the dry tenders
my final rating on these is a 4 out of 10
woof
yes
I got the Caribbean jerk traditional wings
that's right and you gave me a taste
another dry rub
Hooters does dry rubs well
again they are good with dry
ffffff
guys they're good with fried food
we're trying to say rub one out at Hooters
you'll be so satisfied
you agree
the lemon pepper and the Caribbean jerk
definitely just jerk it at Hooters
I'm just saying it's in the rub
7 out of 10 for the Caribbean jerk wings
great traditional wings
you go to Hooters for the wings
it's not a lie Hooters has great wings
and the one I tried of yours
I'll give that score as well
7 out of 10
but my favorite wing of the night
was the one on the floor
so
we mentioned that like presumably
13 year old kids birthday party
and they made a mess
these floors at Hooters
were pretty clean
and like there were people
regularly going around cleaning them
yeah it was a well kept place
except for this
one table that just
straw wrappers receipts
and a full chicken wing
untouched underneath
the birthday boys seat
which I was amused enough by
that I was trying to like
sneakily take a picture of it
I tried I didn't have the right angle for it
and the kids mom
noticed because we're like
pointing it out and she like
did that thing where like you know she's
trying to readjust her like
vantage point and I'm just like oh no no no
hey it's okay
we do a podcast we notice amusing things
around us there's nothing wrong with the
absolute master children are making
there's nothing wrong with what's going on here
we're just amused by the stuff
that's wrong with what's going on here
just your extra work
is entertaining us yeah
and so she like sees it and like kind of like
tells her son
pick that up and he does
and he immediately drops it into his
soda which we notice
and bust out laughing and then
he's like looking back so he noticed
egging him on like he's playing for
he's playing to the crowd man
and then
he drops his receipt
and the straw wrapper into the coke
and he's just soaking all of it in this like
gross borderline
hey you dare me to take a sip
drink that he's got in front of him
that a middle schooler would do I did the same
thing I used to put salt and pepper
in my drinks I was done with them
stack the sugar packets dump some
of those in put some straws in
your why our country
is on the decline cognitively
I'm just
this is proper like seven year old
Midwestern Applebee's behavior
seven year old he was a teenager
but then he pulled the receipt
that had been soaking out and just
like through it at his friends face
and it just kind of like just like
landed on the side like like in a
cartoon and I was
just like are we about to
witness a food fight
I was giddy
and this whole scene I would
say Garrett I have to give an award to
I would say
it was way too much
yes this was definitely way too much
in a good way
now I know
a lot of you you hear this
podcast you're like what Michael and Garrett
don't like cheese but because we love
you all we have hired
a cheese correspondent
my friend Stephen he's doing the work
that we don't want to
quite honestly so
he was able to review
his dish his cheese
covered dish at Hooters
but as he was walking out his
belt loop accidentally hooked on
one of the Hooters fanny packs
and they thought he was shoplifting so
he got tackled by security
messing up his job pretty bad
anyways we had to get somebody
else to voice his review for him
get well soon Stephen
hey what's going on y'all no gray here
tight end for the Kansas City cheese
I'm so honored to be on this episode
the Hooter Bowl
super super exciting stuff
unfortunately
Stephen is not here
to do this review
of the Hooters chicken filly
cheese steak for fine dining
podcast
but don't worry I am here
and I am fortunate enough
to do this for you all
apparently Stephen got tackled
and he can't talk now
it's super unfortunate but don't worry
Stephen I've been there plenty of
times throughout my football career
it's all good brother I got you
on this one so I'm
gonna put 60 seconds on the clock
if I go a little over I'm sorry
but we are gonna go ahead
and we are going to
not this review
of Hooters
chicken filly cheese steak
and this is all coming
from Stephen ready set
go so he got
the chicken not the steak so he could feel
healthier I think everyone
in this world is probably right there with you brother
it's a good choice the sandwich was
worse than the sum of his parts
delicious bread
succulent chicken perfectly cooked
peppers onion cheese tasted
good nice and
stretchy I think those are awesome very
very valuable parts of a filly cheese steak
especially if you're gonna go
the chicken route bread
is always something on the top of my list
for me so I'm glad that was
hitting perfectly and cheese can definitely
make or break depending on how much
you have but however
the flavors didn't blend
at all and needed more grease
or three times the cheese so
that kind of goes back with the amount
of cheese that you use is super
important overall
four out of ten
rating that is the review
from Stephen
from me no gray tighten
from the chiefs to everybody out there
go chiefs and hopefully I'll have
a great rest of your day
we've got to
move on to dessert
we got three desserts for
the table did you try Stephen's
I did
and what was it Stephen
got the caramel fudge
cheesecake and how was it it was
delectable I
like cheesecake you do not like cheese
but it was subtly sweet
good rich caramel flavor
overall good seven out of ten cheesecake
okay almost on par with
cheesecake factory and what did you get
I got the key lime pie how was that
bad it
it wasn't bad the taste was
okay uh-huh it was a good
sweet
balancing treat after
a greasy meal
but my problem is
there was no tartness to it
it tasted like life savers
lime yeah that doesn't sound like
something you want for like a full dessert
I don't hate the taste of it it just
didn't taste like a key lime cheesecake
to me so I'm just going to have to give
this four out of ten meanwhile I got
the chocolate mousse cake
and it was
it was rich
as as all hell did you have a bite of it
I didn't you did not because like I
heard about the richness from both you
and Stephen love
rich chocolate a rich
rich chocolate cake
I'm I am here for it
this tasted like the
best
grocery store bought
chocolate cake you could have
which isn't a bad thing but it just
means it didn't hit that like
elite tier of chocolate cake
it was right a notch below it
eight out of ten
but an eight out of ten dessert
yeah I'm having that every time
eight out of ten if you tell me that something
consistently great dessert
I will happily order it
tell me the grocery store where you can get an
eight out of ten dessert and I'll go there
see that's the thing I don't know there was
something about the texture to it or
the preparation of it where it just
it tasted store bought
and I don't know how to
verbalize what those words mean
but I feel like you understand it I get it
like it's it's something you get at the bakery counter
at Ralph's
not as good as the thing you get
I don't even know what that is it sounds too fancy
that I'm unfamiliar
they don't let people like me in there
Erowan is fancy whole foods
oh is it yeah they don't let
people like me
in there
actually last time I was at Erowan I saw Rod Stewart
you're not Rod Stewart
so alright we got to rate the food
I liked enough
well enough
to cancel out the stuff that I didn't like
I'm just gonna go
zero
thumbs
Hooters excels at traditional wings
it's
not in the name but it might as well be in the name
Hooters is synonymous with wings
growing up that's what I always heard
go to Hooters for the wings
and it's not just an excuse for my pervy
uncles to go see women
maybe it is but the wings
are good
the desserts disappointed me
a little bit so overall
I'm just gonna go zero thumbs up too
nub strong
nub strong
munchkin menu musings
hi my name is Will
hey
I'm 24 years old
I love you
baby
this kid's be
Hooters
I take color on it
and
I love it
if it is just red
it bleeds
that's red
yeah
he's playing with the football
I didn't notice
I got all the way through it
I liked it
uh we
we're supposed to read
that kid and just make it
they want me to draw a football
I had Uncle Michael do it
I'm gonna
outsource it
I like
I like over the
skids menu
I like the Hooters
kids meal
hoo hoo
hoo
I just got this very old
48 a.m.
with you
thank you
final rating
you
we gotta give Hooters a rating Garrett
it's time we gotta smack it up there
we gotta put it on the chachki of mediocrity
but where's it gonna go
I don't know is it gonna be
the perfect five no way there's no
shot this is the perfect five do you think it's gonna
even be in the zone of mediocrity that
four to six safe zone
frankly I don't think it's going to be I wouldn't
put it there no where are you putting
it I'm gonna go
6.09
and I think of it this way would I rather go
to Hooters or
Bubba Gump I gave Bubba Gump
6.05
and I preferred
my Hooters experience ever so slightly
sure thanks in
actually entirely to our new
server champion Amy yeah other
places around here Lubies
I gave that a 6.21
yeah islands I give that
a 6.24
both of those two places I would prefer
to Hooters okay so
I'm make sense then
I'm comfortable with my 6.09 for Hooters
I'm gonna go
with a 6.23
I'm going a little bit higher
not too much but yeah
Hooters
safely falls outside of the
zone of mediocrity
Hooters ends up with a
6.16
and I'm gonna go ahead and
throw that on up
on the Chachki of mediocrity
now you know what this means Garrett
it's time for the you must bowl
not mediocre enough
draw from the bowl
the you must bowl
so since Emma chose this
yeah Emma chose Hooters
how are we gonna handle this
if you chose the restaurant
I say
you know what let's do it the way
they determine who goes first in a
in a Super Bowl game
with a coin flip let's flip a coin
alright so the way this will work is
I'll flip the coin you can call
heads or tails in the air
whoever loses the coin flip
has to do the you must bowl punishment
whoever wins the coin flip
gets to choose whether or not
they want to be the headline game
or the headline game guesser
okay does that sound fair
kinda get two birds with one stone
alright Garrett
call it in the air
heads
it was tails Garrett
so you get the you must bowl
punishment
and I get to choose
if I want to guess
headlines or present headlines
uh
I want to guess headlines
how am I even supposed to
do this
you must wear
the current restaurant's
uniform to the next
restaurant
if you lose the headline game
and said it happens to be
a Hooters uniform
if I lose
I'm gonna have to wear
hot pants in a Hooters shirt
to the next restaurant
to the next restaurant
alright well
you've got some stakes for the headline
that's very funny
cool
alright
this will make the headline game exciting
and because we do have to pick a
new restaurant
let's go ahead and play
the headline game
the rules of the headline game
are as follows
Garrett will present three headlines to Michael
that include this week's restaurant
they can be made up
or they can be actual headlines
if Michael can correctly guess
if at least two out of three
are real or fake
he will get to select next week's restaurant
however if Garrett stumps him
he'll select again
are you ready to play fellas
yeah I'm ready to play
are you ready to play Garrett
I got headlines
what's hilarious to me is
I don't think they make Hooters uniforms
in men's
so
wait so do I have to like
wear a push-up bra and stuff too
like I don't have boobs
well we'll see what we can make
okay
but hey it hasn't happened yet let's go
here we go
headline number one Hooters girl charged
with murder asks a judge
to adjust bond so she can
pay with only fans money
god that's a good one
uh
I feel like murder and only
fans are too extreme and therefore
it sounds like something you would make up
so I'm gonna say false
next one yeah
move over Hooters
London bar to have real
live owls
uh
I mean I know they do owl cafes
in like Japan
uh I'll say
true I don't know
it sounds like something silly you would
correlate like owls and I mean
of course owls and Hooters are correlated
I'll say true okay third one
give a hoot cornhole tournament
at Sarasota Hooters
false
give a hoot you made that up
I thought like you would pick up on
cornhole instead
alright is that the whole headline
okay the headline is
give a hoot cornhole tournament
at Sarasota Hooters a success
false yeah those
sound very made up
so for the first one Hooters girl charged
with murder asks judge
to adjust bond so she can
pay with only fans money
bullshit you guessed false and this
story is true
there's a there's a reporter
out there who is just
you
how can I phrase this in the most
garret way possible
no I would have inserted the phrase
fat stacks of only
fans cash into
a headline yes
I'm glad you're not in journalism
so next one move
over Hooters London Bar
to have real live owls
yeah I mean I don't know that also feels
like you made it up I said true
and this one is true it is true
okay cool so I'm one to one one and one
this is the one that matters now
okay this will determine
if you have to wear
I guess you already know how how I did
or whether or not you do a hoot
cornhole tournament yeah Sarasota Hooters
a success you went false right away
yeah that's completely true
no so I don't
get to see you wear a Hooters uniform
our fans don't
get to see you wear a Hooters uniform
oh no
I know deep down inside you're sad
you don't get to wear a Hooters uniform
so you in the headline
game that means you get to pick our next
restaurant where are we going
I want some Mexican food I have never
tried before okay
let's go to Chevy's
we just got back from San Francisco
I think I think that oh god
yeah I think that might be the closest
one I think we have to drive to San
Jose I've never been to this place
I've never lived near one but like
we just saw this thing
let's do it I guess we're driving back
hey there there are some
people to drive up to the Bay Area every
single weekend yeah I guess so
we can be those people we can
alright well thank you so much
for watching the fine dining podcast
thanks for checking us out on Patreon if you wanted
to watch the video
hope you had a great time let us know
if you want to see more videos like this
this is kind of a trial run
we want to know how much of our
beautiful shining faces you want to see
every day in your life follow us on
Instagram and TikTok at fine dining
podcast send us an email
at findiningpodcast at gmail.com
if yeah if you ever worked
at Chevy's or if you have any
stories from there or if you have any
Hooters stories like we'll still
listen to those I'm sure people have Hooters stories
or hey if you have some fun suggestions
for the you must bowl just because
I didn't have to wear a Hooters uniform
in public this week
it doesn't mean we're just going to be
flooded with people being like where a Hooters
uniform where Hooters uniform and it's just
gonna yeah well cool
well thank you guys so much for joining us thank
you we did not find the most mediocre
restaurant but we're still
looking we are the search continues
we'll see you next week
have a fine day
and hey while you're at it
why don't you go ahead and make it five
stars
come on
follow us on
TikTok
the same on Instagram
follow us on
Instagram and Twitter
follow us on
Instagram and Twitter
follow us on
Instagram and Twitter
follow us on
Instagram and Twitter
follow us on
Instagram and Twitter
follow us on
Instagram, Instagram,
follow us on
Instagram and Twitter
on the socials
and find dining
podcasts
we have a website
finddiningpodcast.com
and buy our t-shirts
then put them on
okay
we're going to find
a
mediocrity
the search continues
see you
next week
hurt my throat a little
have a fine day