Fine Dining - The Hooter Bowl feat. Bonnie Gordon (Star Trek: Prodigy) & Noah Gray (Kansas City Chiefs)

Episode Date: February 8, 2023

It's the HOOTER BOWL!! Grab some chips, sit back, and put on the game as the boys talk wings, waitresses, and what day the week starts on We're on video for this one! Go to our Patreon (link below) t...o watch this episode in all its true glory! The Hooter Bowl is jam-packed with commercials just like the Super Bowl, but potentially more ridiculous Bonnie Gordon battles noise complaints from Michael's neighbors as she performs "Four Letters (ADHD)" off her upcoming album Con Artist for the Hooter Bowl Halftime Show Noah Gray from the Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs pops in to voice Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita's review of Hooters' Chicken Philly Cheesesteak Garrett pilfers a tin foil birthday hat from another table Hooters employee (and new Best Server) Amy shares her on-the-clock break-up story Willa Mae reviews Hooters kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB has some wet nap slogans he wants to test out Additional voices: Nick Adams, Zeus Benitez, Jessa Day, Grayson Niles We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more! Huge thanks to our Patreon Producer: Sue Ornelas   Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send us your Hooters stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com.   Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast   Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!   Next time on Fine Dining: Chevys Fresh Mex! If you have ever worked for Chevys and have a story to share, or if you’d like us to hear your child’s review of the Chevys kids menu, send it to finediningpodcast@gmail.com.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, and welcome back to the Fine Dining Podcast, the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. I am your host, Michael Ornelis. And I'm your host, Garrett Zwerk. And something's a little different this week, Garrett. Just a little bit. You can see us if you want. We are on video.
Starting point is 00:00:21 Aren't we? Beautiful. We are so beautiful, Garrett. Yes. We decided to do something a little bit special for our Super Bowl Week episode. It's not just the Super Bowl. It's the Hooter Bowl. The one and only Hooter Bowl, the first Hooter Bowl in all of existence.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Yeah. For those of you who want to see this, you can go to our Patreon. We decided we're going to release one extra episode every month exclusive to Patreon. So for $5 a month, you can go see that. But in addition, we decided let's do just a full length video episode. That doesn't mean you're totally out of luck if you do want to see us for free, though. We will be posting some of the episode on YouTube. We'll be posting clips on YouTube also, but hey, don't forget, follow us on Instagram
Starting point is 00:01:02 and TikTok at Find Dining Podcast. We'll be putting a lot of clips there, and I promise you, they will be the funniest ones. Well, let's not deter them from wanting the Patreon. There will be some very funny stuff on Patreon as well. Yeah. Everything's funny. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:21 100% of what we do is funny. Oops, so funny. Anyways, for those of you listening for the very first time, here's what we do on the Find Dining Podcast. We're looking for the most mediocre restaurant. We are looking to try and find you not the best of the best. Not the worst. But the middle of the middle.
Starting point is 00:01:40 The okayest. We are so prepared to do this because we've gone through life living up to everyone's expectations of being mediocre. Yeah, no one really expected too much of us. And we've delivered that in spades. Exactly. So we're going to find you the restaurant that does exactly that. We are trying to find our kindred spirit in restaurant form.
Starting point is 00:02:02 I was born in the Midwest. I grew up in Texas, like the South. So chain restaurants galore just filled my childhood. I was born in the middle of nowhere, Michigan, where Applebee's was like the fanciest place around. We're going to evaluate all these restaurants based on their atmosphere. Based on their service. And based on their food.
Starting point is 00:02:24 And the reason we're going to do that is because they're restaurants and you go there to eat. So of course we're going to talk about the food. It would be ridiculous if we didn't talk about the food. So for this week's pick, we did go to Hooters. I didn't pick it. I didn't pick Hooters either. My, we'll call her my niece, but I have family in San Francisco.
Starting point is 00:02:43 They took us in for a weekend and we went to Chucky Cheese with her last week. So you can go check out our episode with little Emma. She's the best. She's very fun. Emma, thank you for making it not weird for us being two grown dudes at Chucky Cheese. Yes. I think that's the rule. You got to bring a kid.
Starting point is 00:03:05 And please bring a kid you relate. Don't just grab a random kid. Don't do that. No kidnapping. I think Chucky Cheese has a no kidnapping policy both in the restaurant and before you go. Funny thing though, there's no sign that says no kidnapping allowed. I think it's implied.
Starting point is 00:03:23 She thought it would be funny because she won the headline game to send us to Hooters for the next episode. So that's the mind of a 13 year old for you. Yeah. And hey, a mind of a 13 year old makes gold for us. Fine dining party of two. We're going to get into it, but our table is ready. So we'll see you in a minute.
Starting point is 00:04:10 First impressions. We're walking up to Hooters. We haven't even gone in yet and it's pouring rain. So we're already having a pretty moist time here. Look at how I just shut you down like that because it's good for the camera. Come on, man. It's pouring rain. So, you know, we're like trying to get in and I can't really tell where the entrance
Starting point is 00:04:56 is just because it's it's the angle. It's not a building design flaw. No, and it's also there are puddles of water huge puddles entrance. Yeah, I'm limping around with the cane right now. So you're like struggling to find the handicap accessible ramp area. And I'm just like, I'm just like Peter Parkering over them. I'm like shooting my hands out like webs catching stuff and swinging on through. Now, the thing I noticed before we walked in, you know, other than the weather,
Starting point is 00:05:24 there was like this big astroturf area outside that I mean, obviously it's raining so it wasn't in use, but it wasn't big enough for it to really be outdoor seating. So I'm kind of curious if it's like, is it just an aesthetic thing because they're such a pro football, you know, it's a destination for going to an aesthetic thing. Astroturf is a lifestyle. Like I've got a life style. I've got a cousin who took he covered the bed of his truck with astroturf. And then he put a chair, he put a cooler, he put a grill.
Starting point is 00:05:58 So this man is the tailgate king now. I like picturing him like rolling up on like some girls like walking down the side of the street. He just rolls down his window, looks out, just you into astroturf. Just like he's in the lifestyle, so to speak. But then we go into the restaurant and it's still raining inside, too. There were a lot of parallels with this experience where it like kind of felt like a strip club through through no through no intent from the staff there. But like, are you sure?
Starting point is 00:06:36 The well, I mean, the design of like the franchise itself is kind of shading in that direction. You know, the the servers and we'll get into it more. You know, they were there to do their job. Yeah, I'm more thinking about the cash that was changing hands. And I'm thinking of the brown water dripping from the ceiling into a bucket. It was very I mean, it was clear it was because of the weather, but the fact that you have a bucket of brown water is just not not ideal.
Starting point is 00:07:05 It looked like a redneck spit bottle. Oh, I hate that comparison, but it's not wrong. So we go in, there's this bucket of brown water in just an oasis of merch. And boy, were the merch options. Yes, we actually bought one of the the merch things. We've got the Hooters Fanny pack up on the Chachki of mediocrity. Why don't you look at it? It's a visual marvel. It is.
Starting point is 00:07:33 I really I'm in love with this thing. This is as marvelous as we are mediocre. Yeah, but hey, our artist managed to create this from your wonderful sharpie rendering. It and it came very close. Like, I mean, it is better and much better. Yeah, but but it's very close to what was envisioned and hoped for. Now, let's talk about the merch. There was so there was a Fanny pack.
Starting point is 00:08:01 There were some shirts. There were Coosies. There were girl calendars girl's calendars are one of America's best selling calendars. I feel like we'll hear more about that soon. The shirts really stood out to me. There was a shirt that said Hooters in the normal logo. Virginity rocks and it tickled me. Garrett, there was another one to Hot Moms.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Well, it was I was an I heart. Yeah, I heart Hot Moms. I heart Hot Moms. Hooters knows what it is. Yeah, no, they know what they're doing. Hooters is nothing but consistently on brand. And speaking of consistently on brand, Garrett, we are consistently on brand because we have merchandise to and you can see it.
Starting point is 00:08:48 You can see all of it right here. We have a shirt with the fine dining logo front and center on it. You can get this in black or white. We have our perfectly adequate Olive Garden t-shirt. This is in honor of our musical that we made perfectly adequate. Our Olive Garden musical. We have our Pizza Hut Lookout shirt. Garrett is currently wearing it.
Starting point is 00:09:08 We've gotten a whole bunch of colors. We've got it. What black, white, a royal royal blue. It's amazing. Royal blue, purple, and we have the He's My Son t-shirt. This is all the way back from episode number three, when Michael had to make a pineapple sun and bring it with us to our meal at the Old Spaghetti Factory. I got him a booster seat and tried to spoon feed him soup, but he was fussy.
Starting point is 00:09:32 And speaking of fussy, you can get a fussy little boy shirt like the one I'm wearing right now. This is modeled after the Bob's Big Boy logo and the song that pops up from time to time in our episodes, when one of us is being a little bit difficult. Now back to that Old Spaghetti Factory episode. We have another version of Juicy, just like an embroidered pocket logo and speaking of pocket logos. Hey, we've got the show logo fine dining in a pocket tee style. See how beautiful this would look emblazoned on your chest.
Starting point is 00:10:16 And we have that one in black and white as well. So just like we say in our outro song, buy our t-shirts, then put them on. What else do we notice in that entranceway? There's a cardboard cutout of a Hooters girl. Now, we also just started taking a bunch of pictures of the entranceway because it's kind of a thing we do and we just look like tourists. But like there was no weight. And so our table was kind of ready right away.
Starting point is 00:10:40 So they like greeted us and they were just looking at us weirdly while we took pictures and then started walking back to the table. And I was like, oh, I guess we should follow. So I guess we kind of looked a little lost in that moment. Garrett, why don't we just jump into our segment? Resty fact roundup. Hooters was founded in Clearwater, Florida on April Fool's Day in 1983.
Starting point is 00:11:09 Was it was it intentionally April Fool's Day? Yes. Was it really intentionally April Fool's Day by the original founders as they called themselves the Hooters six. They chose April Fool's Day because they were convinced the business was going to fail and it ended up being one of the like most iconic American chains that that exists. They fell right into success. They started a genre of breast and they started the restaurant.
Starting point is 00:11:39 They started the restaurant. Yeah. Their actual first mission in making this restaurant was to create a place that they, quote, can't get kicked out of. Woof. Yeah. This this is all right. First of all, the fact that they called themselves the Hooters six before Hooters existed literally just is a breast reference, which already tells me what I'm to expect
Starting point is 00:12:05 when I'm hearing stories about these six. I'm sure they're shibble. Yes, they're I like to think they're kind of like a discount anti hero team. I picture all of their hair perfectly slicked back. One guy has like anime Goku hair and he's the wild one. Yeah, they're all the wild one. They're the Hooters six. The name Hooters came from a Steve Martin SNL sketch.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Interesting. I think I've actually seen that one. I think there's like a bunch of different words for. Yeah, exactly. He's just naming off different breast name, breast nomenclature. Hooters itself gets all of its success thanks to one moment. The assumption I want to make is annual moment of every year of the Super Bowl. Or do you mean a specific one? A specific Super Bowl Super Bowl 18.
Starting point is 00:13:02 It was played between the Raiders and the Washington football team in nearby Tampa Bay. OK, many of the players went to Hooters to eat wings after the fact. After the fact during and after the fact and before the fact. So there was crap ton of media attention because these star football players were eating thousands of dollars worth of wings at this restaurant. OK, what year was that? So 18 February of 84. OK, so they've been around a while.
Starting point is 00:13:32 What year did you say they were founded? They founded in 1983. 83. OK. And by 84. Yes, literally one year. Wow. So 40 years later, after Washington played the Raiders in the Super Bowl in Tampa Bay, everything comes back together again in Tampa Bay. One of the co-founders of Hooters. He happens to be great friends with John Gruden, who is John Gruden won a Super Bowl while coaching the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
Starting point is 00:14:02 And guess who he was just fired from? The Raiders. Interesting. And he was disgraced because he was in a misogynist, homophobic and racist email chain with the president of the Washington football team. And guess who else? Is it a slick backed hair guy? The slick backed hair guy, one of the Hooters co-founders. Great. I mean, I'll look him up and find out he was like bald or something.
Starting point is 00:14:27 And he has been bald this whole time. Only one person has managed to escape this completely unscathed. The Washington coach. Now he was fired. Oh, the only person that made it out alive. The Hooters co-founder alive. Wow. And by alive, I mean reputation. Now, but here's the thing. When you make your brand a restaurant, it's like the other people,
Starting point is 00:14:52 we have a standard for them. Yeah, for the Hooters guy, it's just like he probably does donuts in front of poor people just for fun, just to show off his car. And I would be like, he's not getting canceled for that because you expect it from, you know, the Hooters six. The restaurant co-founder acted appropriately for his brand. This weird group of extremely lucky dad joke slinging, potentially handsy ne'er-do-wells. You sound like you've rehearsed this maybe.
Starting point is 00:15:26 So these men, they think it's a great idea to stage a fake arrest. Uh-huh. They call fake cops on themselves because they don't have a liquor license to drum up publicity. Wait, what? They actually don't have a liquor license. They did not have a liquor license when they ran it themselves out. But the fake cops. What a weird ploy. So as it turns out, that was probably the wild cards idea with the Goku hair.
Starting point is 00:15:54 So he's like, OK, well, if we're fake arrested, we're not real arrested. Uh-huh. Hey, it worked out. Another founder. How did that work out? What is that? You need to give me the follow up. There is no follow up. It worked out in every happily ever after. They did this stupid prank and it worked in their favor. End of story.
Starting point is 00:16:14 Like, is it just like the cops were like, oh, they were already arrested. So we're not going to go. Never came. I don't know. Let's say you're at a party. Uh-huh. There's this doesn't add up to me. A bunch of legal drug use. Uh-huh. The cops show up.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Yeah. Are you going to call the cops on that party when you see the cops at the party? I guess what I need to know is, typically, if you get the cops called on you for not having a liquor license, is that because a patron called the cops on you? Potentially, because that's what I'm wondering. Like any number of reasons.
Starting point is 00:16:45 I feel like there's probably like an inspector that comes. I don't know what the actual like bureaucratic process of this is. But like, but hey, this is the Hooters six we're talking about. Laws don't matter to them. This is nonsense. OK, another one of these men was charged with two counts of tax evasion. That adds up. Slick back hair. I'm seeing it.
Starting point is 00:17:07 This is where it gets weird. This is where it gets weird. Yeah, this is where it gets weird. OK, another founder proposed to a former Hooters girl at a Miami swimsuit pageant in front of a crowd of 2,000 people while live broadcasting it to 400 different Hooters restaurants. How did that go? Very successfully.
Starting point is 00:17:30 They're still married to this day. Oh, good for them. Yeah. So this man. Was she a participant in the swimsuit pageant? She won it. Oh, OK. Did he do it like after he knew she won? No. OK, good. I think it was a surprise. You know what?
Starting point is 00:17:45 That's a support system I can get behind. He's like, look, when loser draw, I'm here for you. And then then she goes on to win. It's he's not in it for money. Do you win money at a swim suit competition? Probably. Yeah. The first Hooters girl, Lynn Austin, was offered the job as a result of everyone's favorite classy co-founder
Starting point is 00:18:08 betting his buddies that he could get the winner to work for him. And this was a different swimsuit competition winner, not the one he married. Oh, great. He's got a thing for swimsuit competition women. And oh, it gets worse. OK. You know, those orange short shorts that all the Hooters girls have to wear. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:27 They were inspired by the exact jogging shorts worn and ogled at by this gentlemanly co-founders, beautiful secretary. So she wore these pants while running. Yeah, I this is just gross. I hate this. I feel sick reading these things. Yeah, I don't know if these details are fun. Like, OK, well, they're informative for sure.
Starting point is 00:18:57 More disturbing things. Mm hmm. So the Hooters girls, they're hired as not servers. They're hired as entertainers. That's that's my guess. Yeah, so they can exploit a legal loophole that allows them to discriminate based on age and appearance. Really?
Starting point is 00:19:18 Yes, that is gross. It's just literally casting a movie. Yeah, it's so gross. Yeah. Back to the rest of the co-founders. Yeah, they weren't all terrible. One of their original goals was to provide manly food in a nostalgic environment. So you know what they did? What?
Starting point is 00:19:39 They put on a bunch of 50s and 60s music and wood paneled the heck out of the place, which it looks like the wood paneling has kind of stuck with. Yeah, the music seemed like modern. It was modern music, wood paneling, the wood on the floors. But I just what about the 50s, the 60s and wood makes you think manly? Like lumber, I think, manly. But this is like, oh, like this is just wood on the walls and the floors. I don't get it. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:06 They're not allowed to wear their uniform at all outside of work. Yeah, it's a completely fireable offense, like allegedly gaining weight also is. Oh, man. Yeah. These these six rascals. Oh, hey, here's something good. Yeah, they have a video game. They have a Hooters video game video game. OK, Hooters Road Trip.
Starting point is 00:20:33 It came out for the original PlayStation. Uh-huh. I think it was named like on a 100 worst games of the decade. I can't imagine that being true. It's cool. It has loading screens and cut scenes featuring Hooters Girls. Of course it does. I feel like that's most of what the game is. They have a sponsored race car. I believe that they had an airline at one point.
Starting point is 00:20:56 Like a full on airline Hooters airline with Hooters Girls and all. Wow. Also, they have a casino. When? When did they have that airline? The airline sounds like an 80s thing. No, that was like a 90s, 2000s thing. Really? Yeah. Huh. And teach me so much, Garrett. Not all of it I want to know, but some of it.
Starting point is 00:21:14 Yeah, for sure. I'm going to leave this on another nonsexual harassment note. Oh, great. They also had a syndicated TV show. Did they really? Yeah. So the sitcom almost. The Hooters Girls just gave like movie reviews, TV reviews and stuff. So like it was cool.
Starting point is 00:21:31 All right. Not sexual harassing. Well, that's been this week's rusty factor. Bresty fact roundup. Oh, it's it's what it's been. Don't don't pretend it's been anything else. It has been exactly that. God. Oh. Atmosphere.
Starting point is 00:21:53 OK, well, you've already kind of touched on what the atmosphere is with the wood paneling. It's on the walls. It's on the floors. There's not a lot of neon, but for some reason, the room entirely feels lit by neon. It's just kind of that color. Yeah, it's like it's the fluorescent lighting reflecting off the like safety orange wall.
Starting point is 00:22:11 Yeah. There's a lot of sports memorabilia. There's like football players. Yeah, full cut out. Super cut out on the wall. That's the first thing that we saw when we walk in. There's just football players on the back wall. Everything is cohesive.
Starting point is 00:22:26 It knows what it is. Dress to wood paneling to the color of the paint to the lighting. Yeah, the pictures. There's a there's a cool like silhouetted photo of like presumably a Hooters girl, but a woman on a beach or something. A bunch of dad jokes everywhere. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I have them written down. I'm going to I'm going to read a couple.
Starting point is 00:22:46 If Hooters delivered, would it be called knockers? Stupid. There was a sign on the wall that said, warning, consumption of alcohol may lead you to think you have a chance with a Hooters girl. Well, so the sign is like selling them down the river. Yeah. Oh, so you can act like a Hooters co-founder, too. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:23:10 They did have signs kind of honoring the military. They let you know that they have military Monday. I think it's like 20 percent off if you're active military on Mondays or something like that. My favorite little sports memorabilia they had was a sign that said, I may be small, but I am a huge angels fan. But nothing about it seemed like it was for a kid. Like it wasn't like a kid's t-shirt or just a small,
Starting point is 00:23:34 like it wasn't like a baby thing. It was just like a pennant. And I feel like it was just a backhanded compliment at angels fans. Oh, of course, their fan base is obviously minuscule. It really just felt like they were just needlessly shitting on a team that maybe they don't like. Hey, there. Here at Underachiever, we admit there are certain teams that we just don't like.
Starting point is 00:24:02 But thanks to our licensing agreement, we're forced to make merchandise representing every team in the league. So if you're one of the 18 angels fans out there, we got you covered. Do you support the Pacers? Well, how about you try one of our all punch of fan for Indiana? Foam boxing fists. And hey, just in time for the Hootable, check out our Better Luck Next Year American football collection
Starting point is 00:24:30 with such supportive phrases as Fornaro. I'm hashtag blessed as a Bills fan. My quarterback is as reliable as my power grid. Go Cowboys, go. And for our friends in the Bay Area, get a grip on this extra special, all new item. I got a pretty strong feeling the Niners got this one. Replica football. Buy a gift for a friend today and tell them how trash their tastes are.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Oh, wow, do we have Super Bowl commercials? Heck, yeah, we do. Nice. But hey, no, no, no, these are not Super Bowl commercials. These are Hootable commercials. I get you. I get you. Get it right. We have our own product here. We do. Now, another thing that I noticed is it felt like everyone was shooting their shot. Oh, obviously, many different ages, too.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Many different ages. We, you know, of course, we have the obviously divorced dad there by himself. Kind of sad. Eating his basket of wings and five beers. Winking at waitress. Winking at wait. That's gross. Garrett Garrett. Has a wing ever worked? Yes, a wink has successfully gotten schmutz out of my eye.
Starting point is 00:25:45 Has a wink ever successfully been the reason that someone was like, oh, I'm interested in that person. Give me a wink to the to the camera, Garrett. That's sexy. No, it's not. It doesn't. Don't do that. Winking is bottom tier effort of trying to pick somebody up. And that's that's the divorced dad move. It's a wink. It's paying with cash.
Starting point is 00:26:12 It's, you know, it's taking a while to like to rifle through the cash in your wallet, because you have so much. That's what we saw. That that that's fitting. That that reminds me of my first experience of learning what Hooters was. Wait, yeah. I was like seven years old. Great. I was even at Hooters.
Starting point is 00:26:35 I was at my uncle's shop and there were a bunch of pictures of Hooters girls. By themselves or with like your uncle. Oh, no, just by themselves. It was like a calendar and some racing pictures and stuff. And I'm OK. I don't really quite know what's happening. I'm just like, oh, what's that? So he's like, hey, you know what?
Starting point is 00:26:54 This restaurant is called Hooters. Beautiful women are there. What you have to do when you grow up, you go to Hooters, you drop your silverware directly in front of them. Here's the fun part. You watch them pick it up. And you're seven and you're like, why? Yeah, I had no idea.
Starting point is 00:27:13 I didn't. That's gross. Yeah, I had no idea how messed up that was until I became an adult. We really were raised by a much more exploitative generation, weren't we? I mean, there were kids there. Didn't you see a kid shoot his shot? Oh, boy, did I. So a family came in. It was probably like five teenage boys, like a couple of teenage girls,
Starting point is 00:27:36 a mom, a grandma or whatever. And the boys had what they were putting off. What I would describe is like big, healy energy. Just like, you know, those those little roller skate shoes that you like, just heal back and you're really dated yourself with that reference. Big, healy energy. They just had like backwards baseball caps and just kind of like that unearned swagger that only a 13 year old boy can have.
Starting point is 00:28:04 So they're going to grow up to be Hooters co-founders. Oh, they've got all the potential in the world to to run like a Twin Peaks competitor. Oh, God. And I was like, this has got to be a birthday party. The kid was he had to be asked by his mom, like, what do you want to do for your birthday? I want to go to Hooters. I want to see boobs.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Breasturant culture has revolved around one thing, boobs. We've been kept abreast of why you're here. Take a stroll down memory lane and just admit it. It really doesn't matter what excuse you boob. You're here for all the zon reasons. They're not a big deal. They're Juggz boobs. Let us bring you your wings and leave us a boobs.
Starting point is 00:28:52 Boo boobs. Boo boob boobs. Titty boob boobs. Boops. Boo boobs. Titty boob boobs. Boo boobs. Boo boobs.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Boo boobs. Boo boobs. Tittys. Boo boobs. Boo boobs. Boo boobs. Boo boobs. Boo boobs.
Starting point is 00:29:01 Titty boobs. Boo boobs. Tattas. Yeah, these kids just, you could tell that boobs were kind of just wide. They were novel to them. And they were there with like a couple, like there were a couple teenage girls at the table,
Starting point is 00:29:25 probably siblings or something who never looked away from their phones. They were just not engrossed in the Hooters experience at all. And why, you know, why would they be? It's not for them. No, not at all. But I don't know. I can identify with these boys. I think back to sixth grade when Titanic came out.
Starting point is 00:29:44 Was that your first boobs? My first boobs were in sixth grade Titanic. My first boobs were Titanic as well. I remember we ended up owning Titanic on VHS and it had the two, it was the two videos. And so I would always go to the boob scene. And was it in tape two? I think it was tape two.
Starting point is 00:30:04 And so I remember watching all the way through tape one and just being mad. Like all there was was like the steamy hand on the car window slide, but there wasn't the drawing scene. And so I just would leave tape one unruh wound. And then I would go back and be like, wait, I'm leaving sloppy evidence. And I would like make sure I rewound them just to not get caught. I did the same thing too.
Starting point is 00:30:30 But once I got to the breast scene, I made sure I rewound it to before the breast scene. So if anyone else found this tape, they're like, you know, it wasn't right after not see the breast scene. Although I would almost bet money that no one knows exactly what scene comes after the breast scene. So really, if you just have it to right after the breast scene, they'll probably start playing and not even think about the breast scene. Because you're the 13 year old. You're the one who's just thinking about breasts. I'm still thinking about the breast scene.
Starting point is 00:31:03 You know, the kids, you could tell they were having a fun time with the Hooters waitress. They got a picture with their divorce dad counting his cash. He shot his shot. It didn't work out. Speaking of shooting shots that didn't work out, there was another table that I think you were they were in your vantage point. There were like three guys all about our age or so. Yeah, it's you could tell they've been drinking a lot.
Starting point is 00:31:28 Great bill. Yeah, snapback. Clean snapback hats. Yeah. So this is what kind of clued me in. Yeah. Every time their server walked over the two guys on the outside of the table, they both stood up.
Starting point is 00:31:43 I noticed that there was so much just logistical moving. It's like they were trying to box this little girl in. They were trying to entrap her into just more time with them. Yeah. And they kept getting her attention. They were like right by the door to the kitchen. So every time she came back and forth, they tried to grab her attention. It was just.
Starting point is 00:32:01 And every time. Rose. Every time she left, you know, they were all smiles and laughing. And I'm I'm like, God, they think they're killing it. I promise they weren't killing it. No, no, no, no, these these men were disgusting. I mean, there were a few tables. There was the table that ended up behind you kind of toward the later part of the meal
Starting point is 00:32:18 that was doing kind of the same. They were literally cat calling servers that were walking by. I just heard a bunch of obscenities in Spanish. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. When you like, I don't know, there's one word, the Spanish word for penis. Every time I hear that, that just clues me and instantly something's happening.
Starting point is 00:32:35 There were so many like dejected looking guys walking out of the. Because like what do you think you have something new to offer? Do you think you're going into a Hooters and you're going to be something that these waitresses haven't seen before? Well, obviously, yeah, they do. They obviously think it. They're all shooting their shot. They're not guys.
Starting point is 00:32:58 You are not special. Stop it. Stop it. Go there and eat. Enjoy it. Like, yeah, it's it's an exploitative place. There are pretty women around. Yeah, you don't have to.
Starting point is 00:33:09 We did choose to go there expecting to witness this type of behavior. Yeah. I mean, I don't think I was wanting to witness it, but I was certainly expecting to. It was an expectation that lived up to it, but just it was very funny to me that like clearly they're all trying to get phone numbers. And we actually do have a phone number for all those guys. Strike out again at your local Hooters while trying to score your server's digits. Come here, big fella.
Starting point is 00:33:45 We've got you. Call 1-800-NOT-SHIT and we'll tell you what you need to hear. Feeling like shit? Don't do that because you're not shit. Hey, psst. We actually meant it the other way. 1-800-NOT-SHIT. You heard us right.
Starting point is 00:34:00 What do you think? You've got something special? You don't think they're hit on every day by men who have way more to offer than you? You're not shit, dude. Keep walking. You know what? Don't call. Now, of course, it wouldn't be a standard dining experience with you and I if we didn't
Starting point is 00:34:25 notice something kind of strange happening. Yeah. And this happened really early on. It was like one of the first things I noticed. You pointed it out and I was worried that it would be a thing that kind of pervaded through the entire meal. But it kind of only lasted like a minute and that makes it almost weirder. The entire restaurant was seated still.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Their shoulders were straight. Their posture was great. They weren't talking. They weren't moving. They weren't even looking at the TVs. It looked like it. They were just catatonic. Everyone was just still.
Starting point is 00:35:00 It was so weird and I thought it would be an exaggeration. Like you pointed it out. You were like, hey, look, and I like turned around and I noticed like everyone and it just seemed like no one like they weren't even particularly on their phones. There was just so little movement from everybody that we could see in the restaurant. The servers were still moving around. They were the only ones moving around. The bar area was kind of an anomaly, but like all the tables in the dining room.
Starting point is 00:35:29 Everyone was still and it just it leads to a question, Garrett. What's going on over there? What's going on over there? What's going on over there? Should I wear it? Should I dance? What is going on over there? What's going on over there?
Starting point is 00:35:49 I think there was so much desperation. There was so much thirst that time stopped. It was like the universe was like, Jesus, the quota has been filled. You all need a minute to the universe put them in time. We had a one minute timeout. It's like 50 year old. No, 13 year old. No, 30 year old guys.
Starting point is 00:36:16 No, just chill. Okay. Just relax. Respect the women, please. Just respect the women. That's all we're asking for. That's all the universe is asking for. The universe just wanted to reach an equilibrium of respect.
Starting point is 00:36:31 And Hooters is the place it chose. Hooters was the place it chose to punish. Yeah, it chose to punish it. It explains exactly why the waitresses were still moving. Yeah, because they're not the problem here. It explains why the bar area was still moving. They're not the problem. They're not being served.
Starting point is 00:36:47 No. They're the ones like, it's just one bartender and like, how much time can you get with a bartender? It actually, but every potential ogler was frozen. Every potential. That's why we weren't frozen. Yeah, because we're gentlemen. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:01 I think that's what was going on over there. Completely what's going on over there. Now, speaking of the universe, putting people in timeout, there was one guy in particular who probably should have been put in timeout. We overheard a guy say to a server. Here, I've got the quote. Oh, I've got the quote. Oh, you've got the quote.
Starting point is 00:37:21 It's gross. It's really gross. I would never cheat on my girlfriend, but if I did, it would be with you. Oh, this is why we can't have nice things. God, guys, why are you doing this? Now, speaking of nice things, despite all the chaos that we have talked about. We had a good time. I had a good time.
Starting point is 00:37:43 We sort of blasted Hooters, and we will get more into why we had a blast. Colorful characters are entertaining, period. They are, as long as they don't, you know, get out of control or anything like that. Like saying gross stuff is kind of expected. Yeah. No one acted on anything. So at the very least, I'm like, all right, nothing went down. There's just people proving themselves to be kind of scummy here.
Starting point is 00:38:10 Luckily for us, at every table, if you get a little scummy, they've got wet naps for you. Yeah, you can clean yourself off. You can clean yourself off. They had, like, branded with, like, different quotes, and it almost felt like trading cards. Like, gotta collect all of the different slogans that they can put on these. Gotta clean them all. Wet wipes. I bet you that the guy who was, like, making all of them probably felt so good,
Starting point is 00:38:42 so proud of each of these moderate jokes that he, like, three of the five didn't even register as attempts at humor, I guess. But hey, like, the bar here is dad joke. So that's what we're working with. Yeah, um, I want to know more about that guy. Yeah. And now, a word from our totally not made up sponsor. Oh, hi there.
Starting point is 00:39:10 It's a favorite sponsor job, and you can see me in person now. I didn't know what to wear, so I just grabbed stuff out of the local Goodwill donation bin. I think it looks pretty snazzy. You do too. After last week, I'm retired from selling vibrator. Three mishaps in one calendar year. Not a good look. So job, what you got for us this week?
Starting point is 00:39:30 Well, I'll tell you. You know those little collectible phrase wet naps that they've got at the Hooters? Well, old job is submitting to be that guy who comes up with new phrases. I was thinking about doing one that says something like, You've been served. But I decided against it for two reasons. One, I think it may hit home for a lot of the people there who are facing impending lawsuits. And number two, they don't have servers at Hooters.
Starting point is 00:39:53 They have entertainers. But then I thought, are you not entertained? But that's from the movie Gladiator. I'm not trying to perpetuate man-on-man violence. That's put me in the can for three years in the past. And I'm not going back. I've got so many shift scars it would make a bin cushion blush. But a bin cushion can't blush because it doesn't have blood.
Starting point is 00:40:10 Unlike me, like when I was getting shived. But if you're looking to clean up a mess, whether it's buffalo sauce or shiv blood, reach for these wet naps and I've got you covered. Okay, bye. Now, the specific wet naps that they had at Hooters, there was one that just said, keep it clean, keep it clean. There's one that said.
Starting point is 00:40:31 Is that like a Mr. Clean reject phrase? I guess, yeah. There was one that says common sense isn't. I don't get it. I don't get it. It just says common sense isn't. Present here. I would assume it was like common sense.
Starting point is 00:40:49 Isn't it like to wipe your hands or something? I don't know. It just feels like something's missing. There's two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left. That's a dad joke. That's a certifiable dad joke. As is this one, towelette is French for towelette.
Starting point is 00:41:05 And lastly, those wings never had a chance. Cringy, cringy, but you know, they tried. And I did actually have a blast trying to collect them all, just like going through the little container, dumping it out, being like, all right, I have duplicates. You want to trade? Now here's the question. How many shinies did you get?
Starting point is 00:41:24 I didn't get any. There were no holographic wet naps. Ah, damn it. We got to give a rating. Yes, we do. We got to put our thumbs up, down, or in the middle for Hooters atmosphere. All things considered, the amount of just harassment that we
Starting point is 00:41:40 witnessed kind of cancels out some of the fun that we had. So I'm just going to go straight up. No thumbs. I don't know if I do one in the middle, or if I just do like a weird fist. I don't know what to make now that we're video, but no thumbs, no thumbs for the atmosphere for me. This is all I've got written down for this.
Starting point is 00:42:01 It's an uncomfortably loud wood paneled sneaker box filled with casual sexual harassment and male stereotypes. One thumb down. I think it's earned. One thumb down. One thumb down. Well, it wouldn't be the Hooters Bowl if we didn't have a halftime show.
Starting point is 00:42:20 Exactly. We need a halftime show. We need a halftime show. So everyone, give it up for the immensely talented Bonnie Gordon. Hooters Bowl 2023. I'm Bonnie Gordon. Let's sing about mental illness. Well, I'm since I was a girl.
Starting point is 00:42:41 I knew I'd always lose. I couldn't find my toys or repair a match and shoes. Running around my room at the speed of light. Darken so fast, my stories would last. I was into the night, blaming on the poor. Letters at my core. Oh, my leg, I'm shaking. And my nails, I'm chewing.
Starting point is 00:43:09 Yeah, I'm always dreaming. Hardly doing. Forgot to wind the clock. It's why I'm always late. But in the bottom right, I'm timed, no matter how long you wait. Giving me a choice. I'm always on the fence.
Starting point is 00:43:26 My thoughts are so scrambled. Sometimes my words don't make any squirrel. Blame it on the poor. Letters at my core. Yeah, everything I say can be misconstruing. Because I'm always dreaming. Hardly doing. Well, I gotta clean my place.
Starting point is 00:43:51 But I don't know how to pace. I'm not worth the DVDs. Oh, three hours passed. Just sitting on my eyes. Sorting by genre, by color. And alphabetically. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Who'd have thought 2023 makes some noise? We're getting like noise complaints from neighbors. But like, keep it up. It's good. Just a little quieter. Um. Makes some noise, but not too much noise. Yeah, OK.
Starting point is 00:44:30 Go, go, go. I'm working on six projects. Because I can't focus on one. With everything all at once. Nothing ever gets done. Some say it's a problem. Something wrong with my brain. The rules of society raise my anxiety.
Starting point is 00:44:48 I wouldn't change a thing. Blame it on the poor. Letters at my core. Yeah, my mama says. That I never stop moving. Because I'm always, always late on the floor. Letters at my core. Pumping a pill could be subdued to my always, always.
Starting point is 00:45:24 Hardly do it. Don't be a few men. I'm amusing. When it comes to the path that I'm pursuing, it helps to be always dreaming. Hardly A. D. H.
Starting point is 00:45:50 Not bad. OK. But seriously, where did that squirrel go? What? You should probably call Animal Control. Did you finish the song? D. OK, thanks for coming.
Starting point is 00:46:10 Go get the squirrel. Go get the squirrel. Michael and Garrett, back to you. Service. We have to talk about the service. Oh, yes. Because the service is what made our experience as good as it was. We had a very mediocre atmosphere.
Starting point is 00:46:34 I mean, you even give it a thumbs down. Yeah, it was a little negative for me. It was uncomfortable. Service was phenomenal. Yes, I don't even know how to describe it. It was just great. You'd think, OK, yeah, sure. You go to Hooters.
Starting point is 00:46:50 The Hooters girls are going to try their best to give you the best entertainment experience possible. Well, no, I mean, here's the thing. I think it comes across a certain way that we're about to gush about our Hooters girls. Oh, no, exactly, it does. But she was awesome. Her name was Amy.
Starting point is 00:47:06 We had a lot of questions of just like, how do things work around here? What's it like working here? This is actually the first time that our employee story that people are going to hear from the chain restaurant that we visited this week
Starting point is 00:47:22 is from our actual server. Yes. She really was great. She was very accommodating, seemed fun. I think she could tell kind of early on that we weren't creeps and therefore we didn't get the creep treatment.
Starting point is 00:47:38 And not even that. What really struck home for me is she was natural. We weren't getting a performance. I do feel like she was very real to us. She was. I felt like we were just like hanging out with one of our friends. She was just one of the girls.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Now, to kind of walk you through what a standard Hooters experience, I guess is like, they write their name on a paper towel. Just take it off of it, because there's a big paper towel on the table with you, largely because you're eating a lot of wings that have a lot of sauce and stuff.
Starting point is 00:48:10 So of course, wet naps and paper towels. So she like signs it for you, I guess. And I didn't realize that was a little thing that they do at Hooters, but we got her autograph. Her name, now we only give the names of servers that are exceptional.
Starting point is 00:48:26 I think obviously we can say her name was Amy and Amy was the new best server that we've had. Yes, Amy's excellent. We've had a few servers that we've kind of gushed about. We had Keith at Outback. We had Sho Ray at Denny's.
Starting point is 00:48:42 We had Brandon at Bubba Gumstrump Company. Amy is in that tier, I think, at the top of the pack. Exactly here. Comparing her to Brandon, Brandon was excellent. He cared. He made eye contact. He was jovial, entertaining. He gave us Forrest Gump trivia.
Starting point is 00:48:58 He was performing. He was performing. Amy felt like Amy was all of these things naturally on her own. This was her personality. She seemed to be having fun with us. I don't have a lot more to say about her than she was great.
Starting point is 00:49:14 Basic job as a server. She did all those things. Refills were there. Plates were taken away. Just all of the practical aspects of the job. The technical practices of She got that. You know what? I actually will say. Hooters has some traditions. Birthday songs.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Also, let's talk about birthday songs at some of these restaurants. Some of them do just the birthday song. The standard thing. And then a lot of them have their own kitschy little birthday song thing that they do. And they all
Starting point is 00:49:46 start with like the military like, I don't know what I went to. It's very like call and response sort of. It's like the boomerest thing ever. It reminds me of a scene from Stripes. Yeah. Kind of that era.
Starting point is 00:50:02 Era of just raunchiness maybe? Not that the birthday song had raunchiness. Well, actually I didn't hear the words. I don't know. I just heard some chanting and some tinfoil hats were getting thrown around. So that's the thing that stood out. That's why we're bringing it up. They have big tinfoil hats.
Starting point is 00:50:18 They had cowboy hats. They had like pirate hats. Yes, Amy. She said they do pirate hats. They'll do like fedoras. It depends on who's making it. Now those guys who were like standing up to like chat with their waitress every time she came by that we noticed and talked about earlier.
Starting point is 00:50:34 Classy gentlemen, did you get their contact information? Because I want to invite them on the podcast. I don't think any of that's true. We noticed them leave. And of course they looked dejected because they didn't get a number for all of their attempts
Starting point is 00:50:50 at hitting on their waitress and other ones that seemed to come by. They left dejected and you noticed an opening. Oh yeah, they left their hat. Their tinfoil hat that you only get for having a birthday. They left it on their table. So I went right over there and took it.
Starting point is 00:51:06 And we actually have a video of that that we'll put on our socials. That's right. We're on Instagram at Find Dining Podcast. We're on TikTok at Find Dining Podcast and you can email us whatever you want. Find Dining Podcast at gmail.com. We might regret
Starting point is 00:51:22 that, but I don't know. Maybe we won't. They didn't deserve the hat. You awkwardly just kind of like mall walk to over like trying to be like we're not trying to make a scene, but I'm totally going to steal a hat. And then of course... I'm an 80's mom. Is it a manager who noticed
Starting point is 00:51:38 you? I think yeah. One of the employees... One of the male employees noticed... A Jacked Buff Busser. Bringing him back from our Island's episode. Jacked Buff Bussers. Yeah, noticed and like asked you about it and I like just from my camera from a
Starting point is 00:51:54 distance just kind of saw you like low key just like playing it off. Walk back, take the hat. And then those guys walk back. And it's like are they... Do they want their hat back? Because they kind of went back to the table and then walked away dejected and we're just like Garrett don't
Starting point is 00:52:10 make eye contact. Don't let... Don't let on that it's not your birthday. They'll ID you. Anyways this day was your birthday because you got a tinfoil hat and Amy came over and I don't know if she was bluffing but she was like
Starting point is 00:52:26 oh man I would have made you one. And I don't know if it was like one of those things where it's like you say a thing that's like a hollow oh I would have done that but I can only safely say that because I know that you already have the hat and now I don't need to. So you get to look like the hero but I jumped on it immediately and was like
Starting point is 00:52:42 I'll take one. And guess what? Minutes later she comes out with like a giant pirate hat tinfoil. It was awesome. It was better than mine. It was impractical. It's very tough to wear and like sit in a seat. But the fact
Starting point is 00:52:58 that she did that I thought was awesome. Now I did have a question for her. We noticed another Hooters waitress talking to presumably a manager or something like that and she had a black uniform on. And I just turned to Amy and I was like
Starting point is 00:53:14 is she the final boss Hooters or something? Is she the head Hooters? Yeah I don't know it's just like one she told me it's the bartender uniform so it's not really an exciting answer but I man I thought I thought we found a real life shiny
Starting point is 00:53:30 like a shiny Pokemon or something. But as it turns out everyone wears black on Mondays and Fridays. That and bartenders. And bartenders all the time. So yeah if you see a black uniform on a Hooters girl it's Monday, Friday or they're a bartender. Trivia for you
Starting point is 00:53:46 I guess. Another thing I wanted to know is like if we're talking about the whole service staff the bus boys. You know I made the joke about the jacked buff bussers but there's kind of a truth to like some of the girls who had more I guess. Mail attention?
Starting point is 00:54:02 Mail attention seemed those tables with the mail attention seemed to get more Hooters employee mail attention because like the bussers would just kind of hang out in the area. It's like they were setting up like a defensive formation around the perimeter. Like they were
Starting point is 00:54:18 like these were the jacked buff bussers security guard system which is actually one of our sponsors. Yes. Jacked buff bussers bus boys who are jacked and buff they'll get those dishes to the back but perhaps more importantly
Starting point is 00:54:40 hey baby come over here really dude I hope you were whistling that me because if you weren't we got a serious problem yeah I'll get going yeah
Starting point is 00:54:58 that's what I thought Jacked buff bussers they'll take the trash out then take the trash out now also there was a a sign on the way out of the restaurant that's like on the worst wall to have an actual policy
Starting point is 00:55:20 because no one's seeing it until you're leaving that said no photos or videos of like for the for the privacy of the servers which we asked Amy she's like yeah a lot of people ask to take photos sometimes it's creepy people
Starting point is 00:55:36 sometimes it's you know just people having a good time families like young like families will do it because it is it is kind of a touristy destination I mean I know it's a national chain but like you know it is a spot where it's like you make a day out of it yeah it's a definite Breastination
Starting point is 00:55:56 Garrett yes you coined a thing Breastination Hooters oh god now I want to make final Breastination just a bunch of Hooters wait this is just start dying like through random forces of nature
Starting point is 00:56:12 oh god I don't want to actually make that but that's very funny that should have been one of the movie reviews they did on their syndicated TV show final Breastination yeah and that sign is there obviously because there's probably a
Starting point is 00:56:28 decent amount of people I mean we even saw a decent amount of people shooting their shot you know a little harassy some harass holes there were some harass holes yes do I get the coin something now you are not a harass hole you are the coiner of the harass hole thank you
Starting point is 00:56:44 yeah these people should be banned from Hooters but only banned from dining in exactly because I want people like Amy to be able to still make money from these people who are wanting to go to Hooters for the food like everyone does
Starting point is 00:57:00 did you cross one too many boundaries and now you're not even allowed to eat inside of Hooters yeah I asked for a wing and a breast and then I winked at my waitress you dog
Starting point is 00:57:16 well now you can still eat all the Hooters you want with none of the shame I don't have any shame incapable actually with pickup lines these are the things you can say when you pick up your to-go order from the front and promptly get the hell out of there
Starting point is 00:57:32 or else I'd get involved you wouldn't want to mess with old Zeus now would you? no sir I wouldn't I would not no great try out a pickup line can I get an extra ranch dressing to go
Starting point is 00:57:48 and nothing else oh yeah are napkins included? good now you're getting it now go free to go alright adios ahem
Starting point is 00:58:04 didn't see a tip then you're gonna ask more like this is what a jack buff buster looks like yeah pickup lines be better another thing I really liked about Amy she was on the ball she remembered our orders verbatim
Starting point is 00:58:32 and we even made sauce changes like we were difficult so I mean we'll get into the food in a minute but the appetizer we ordered had the shrimp boneless wings and traditional wings so it had three things on a platter and they all
Starting point is 00:58:48 like one of them comes with a lemon pepper one comes with an original sauce one comes with like a buffalo or like a spicier I don't remember what they actually come with but we got modifications for like three things she wasn't writing any of it down she got it all right she just named it off right away
Starting point is 00:59:04 yeah so very like present attentive it's what you want in a server so easy two thumbs up I would say this is a two thumbs up I'm feeling even like a 10 out of 10 two thumbs up yeah like the rotten tomatoes score where it's like
Starting point is 00:59:20 yeah give it a thumbs up but I also give it a 10 out of 10 amazing maybe about a year ago I was dating this guy and three months prior to this I found a note in his car it was a love note basically but I chose to ignore it because we weren't officially dating fast forward to three months later I'm bartending
Starting point is 00:59:36 I had just gotten promoted and he's here visiting me and I see him talking outside with this girl but then I recognize her because I found her Instagram so it's the girl from the note from his car he comes back in and immediately I'm obviously
Starting point is 00:59:52 upset I tell him to get out and pay his bill and get out he's like I don't know what you're talking about you're crazy I look at him in the eye and I'm like so you're gonna tell me that that's not and I say her name his face goes white and while all this is happening I see that she's still sitting inside at one of the tables
Starting point is 01:00:08 so I get even angrier I'm working behind the bar and I'm breaking like three glasses at this point it's like 15 minutes into me finding out and I've broken three glasses so far I'm like I cannot continue to do this thankfully I'm really cool with my managers I go and I tell them everything and they're like here you have to go talk to her
Starting point is 01:00:24 so I go and I talk to her and I'm like hey I just want to know what's going on with that guy that you were talking to and she immediately she's like I'm so sorry and then she says something really weird she's like just know that he likes you more than he likes me so automatically I'm like okay this is a little
Starting point is 01:00:40 weird but I'm pissed I'm like whatever I get up I leave I go home for the day call it a day and then the next day I come into work and one of my managers is like hey why were you talking to blah blah blah and I'm like how do you know her and she's like well she worked here like a month ago for a couple days and then she just
Starting point is 01:00:56 randomly quit so I don't know if this is like too stretching it a little bit but I think she was you know creeping up on me a little bit so yeah that's my story about how I got cheated on and got my heart broken at work okay so we need to dive into the food
Starting point is 01:01:16 now what I will say overall about this food is I didn't feel like any of it was mediocre it was either really good or really not good it's like it's like they concentrated their efforts in a few places really well and then they had
Starting point is 01:01:32 some blind spots and some other ones so we'll go through we got a lot of food we went with my friends Herbert and Steven who you know ordered a bunch of stuff so that we could kind of taste them so we got two sides for the table the first one we got the first one was the
Starting point is 01:01:48 Hooters original buffalo platter and that was supposed to contain original Hooters buffalo shrimp, boneless wings and original Hooters style wings those are just the traditional wings when you say it was supposed to you make it sound like it didn't when we got it
Starting point is 01:02:04 we changed up the sauces and stuff we did get the shrimp as is with a lemon pepper rub I thought those were great I'm not the biggest shrimp fan this might be the best shrimp dish I've had I agree these shrimp are
Starting point is 01:02:20 by far the best shrimp I've had in our run of restaurants so far I go 8 out of 10 on them the lemon pepper in and of itself may have been one of the best lemon pepper rubs I've had I agree it worked it worked
Starting point is 01:02:36 the battering too it was crisp and airy it felt almost like a tempura batter yeah it was a great dish I go 7 out of 10 I'm not the biggest shrimp fan but 7 out of 10 for me for shrimp that's great so here's the thing when confronted with the option of getting shrimp
Starting point is 01:02:52 or other things I'm almost always going to order other things I would order these shrimp on their own over some of the other things that's how much I like them now it also had their bone in and boneless wings for the boneless we got the honey
Starting point is 01:03:08 chipotle bone in we got ghost sauce which is ghost pepper it was very spicy not the worst spice I've ever had but it definitely packed a punch I think on those bone in wings
Starting point is 01:03:24 the flavor is what you expect if you've had ghost pepper before it wasn't like a stand out but it was solid and my score for it is 7 out of 10 it was very consistent with what I expect of a very spicy wing the breading was crisp again
Starting point is 01:03:40 they're doing something with their breading everything stays crisp I love it and then the boneless with the honey chipotle honey chipotle was good I really liked the sauce and I didn't really like the texture
Starting point is 01:03:56 of the wing is that about where you stand on it that's 100% where I am the sauce was sweet and tangy but it was structurally dry yeah the sauce was also a little too thick it felt syrupy on it
Starting point is 01:04:12 I'm gonna go 6.5 out of 10 it wasn't like in a front to nature but the taste of the sauce saved an otherwise pretty underwhelming situation I think and I'm gonna go 5 out of 10 the texture
Starting point is 01:04:28 of the chicken was just really dry and disappointing I can't go any higher I mean this isn't like complaining how can you taste dryness through something so soaked in sauce so when you bite through the wing if it's tender the chicken
Starting point is 01:04:44 just separates more when you bite in is it a little tough this was tough and chewy for me my bites weren't but even still it was just kind of an underwhelming bite despite it not being that for me but I mean I guess that accounts for that
Starting point is 01:05:00 1.5 point disparity between us now the other side that we got were fried pickles now I'll say this I'm not a pickle guy this was actually my first time willingly eating a pickle of any of any kind like I've accidentally had pickles that were in sandwiches
Starting point is 01:05:16 that I didn't want them on but I'm not a big pickle guy I don't like pickled things this is your first time willingly eating a pickle wow I know guys I'm 34 years old this is a fine dining first Michael has tasted
Starting point is 01:05:32 his first pickle and then how would you describe the sauce like Amy said it was an in and out in and out style sauce it was like relish it was a thousand island yeah it was a little chunky I liked it I mean I thought it went well
Starting point is 01:05:48 I didn't have a bite of the fried pickles without that sauce I only had it I only had without the sauce you only had without the sauce did you even try it? I didn't even try the sauce the pickles were excellent they were juicy themselves again it's like a tempura battering
Starting point is 01:06:04 and it was just salty enough the pickles didn't need the sauce so I'm again gonna go 6.5 out of 10 now I did like them I mean 6.5 that's above the halfway point it means it's a positive experience I feel like pickled foods are an acquired taste
Starting point is 01:06:20 and juries out on if I continue eating pickled stuff but I haven't acquired the taste yet so I think that just kind of the newness of it as an experience for me 6.5 out of 10 is about as high as I'm willing to go on it I'll go 7 out of 10 for those
Starting point is 01:06:36 the saltiness of the pickle brine went perfectly with the saltiness of the batter and everything was crisp enough to stay together before we move into entrees I got something that I haven't gotten to have in a long time I got a sugary drink oh you did
Starting point is 01:06:54 for the entirety of 2022 and decided to treat myself I got a blackberry lemonade boy have I missed sugary drinks I'm still limiting myself to only one a week so I actually saved all week my one drink because we went on a Saturday
Starting point is 01:07:10 the final day of the do weeks end on Saturday to you or do weeks end on Sunday to you there is no beginning or end of weeks new episodes launch every Wednesday that's not the question and you know it
Starting point is 01:07:26 I have no beginning or end of the week I'm talking philosophically the week what day does the week start on when you open up a calendar do you prefer a calendar to start on Sunday or to start on Monday I don't care at all
Starting point is 01:07:42 I have zero preference on this this is wild to me this is crazy to me the week starts on Sunday the week ends on Saturday if you don't care then cool I'm just going to definitively make that statement when the week starts
Starting point is 01:07:58 or begins starts or begins okay weak timing what bearing does that actually have on our lives I can't think of a single thing just because you live a chaotic life doesn't mean that the world doesn't follow a structure
Starting point is 01:08:14 cha cha chicken is not open on Monday health nuts not open on Monday I just know some restaurants are open different days that's all I care about guys I can't work with him well I saved
Starting point is 01:08:30 my drink for the final day of the week Saturday all that aside do we want to talk entrees or do we want to talk about the sides that came with the entrees first and we'll kind of go through all the sides and then we'll kind of go into the main courses because these sides are great
Starting point is 01:08:46 tater tots you got waffle fries I got onion rings and Herbert got curly fries I didn't either did you notice like he physically put ketchup on top of his curly fries
Starting point is 01:09:02 while they were in the basket instead of dipping them separately I didn't notice that but that's chaos I hate it thanks for bringing it to my attention the onion rings I got they looked like they were tempura batter or like the
Starting point is 01:09:18 like panko breaded kind of looks like little pieces of coconut almost you can see that mine weren't that did you try my onion rings they were beer battered and sad they were very sad they didn't have much to the texture
Starting point is 01:09:34 it felt like the onion started right away there was no breading to get through to get to onion it was the bare minimum 5 out of 10 it was sad and desperate a lot of the men in this place Steven's tater tots I thought were good
Starting point is 01:09:50 they were very good this place knows it's fried food I'm not the biggest tater tot guy it's usually kind of the last thing I'll consider when I'm looking at those potato based sides so I'm only going 6 out of 10 and that's more based on my position on tater tots than these specific tater tots
Starting point is 01:10:06 now go 7 out of 10 specifically because it's like they clean out their fryer well here it was a clean, crisp greasy tater tot if that makes sense it's the oil was almost refreshing weird
Starting point is 01:10:22 it was a clean oil your waffle fry made no impression on me so I'm going to give it just a straight 5 out of 10 oh wow did you love them? I loved them this is an 8 out of 10 waffle fry I only had 2 I do love a good waffle fry
Starting point is 01:10:38 crisp on the outside tender on the inside just salty enough and again with this super clean oil it was texturally really good and the flavor just didn't really speak to me I just didn't get a lot it was a really delicate flavor
Starting point is 01:10:54 so now we move into our entrees so my food I thought was kind of sad I got the chicken tenders they were a new addition to the menu I got the basket of 5 they didn't offer a lot in the way of breading I wanted more
Starting point is 01:11:10 of the the bready goodness they seemed just like larger versions of the boneless wings yes but then much like your experience with the boneless wings the inside was very dry to me so I regretted my choice
Starting point is 01:11:26 I did I wish I had gotten another thing you tasted it too right? oh but you got sauces with those they really saved those chicken tenders I agree with you completely they were sub-par tenders themselves they were conduits for sauce
Starting point is 01:11:42 but was it a general so's sauce I'll get into the sauces the tenders on their own though I give a 5.5 out of 10 but the sauces once I put those into my face I had a general so's sauce and I had a spicy garlic sauce
Starting point is 01:11:58 the spicy garlic was awesome yes it was the general so's it just couldn't outperform the spicy garlic so I had a lot less of it 6.5 out of 10 that was everything I had until dessert
Starting point is 01:12:14 I'll give you tenders alone a 4 out of 10 toss the sauces on 5.5 I struggle to get past the dry tenders my final rating on these is a 4 out of 10 woof
Starting point is 01:12:30 yes I got the Caribbean jerk traditional wings that's right and you gave me a taste another dry rub Hooters does dry rubs well again they are good with dry ffffff guys they're good with fried food
Starting point is 01:12:46 we're trying to say rub one out at Hooters you'll be so satisfied you agree the lemon pepper and the Caribbean jerk definitely just jerk it at Hooters I'm just saying it's in the rub 7 out of 10 for the Caribbean jerk wings great traditional wings
Starting point is 01:13:02 you go to Hooters for the wings it's not a lie Hooters has great wings and the one I tried of yours I'll give that score as well 7 out of 10 but my favorite wing of the night was the one on the floor so
Starting point is 01:13:18 we mentioned that like presumably 13 year old kids birthday party and they made a mess these floors at Hooters were pretty clean and like there were people regularly going around cleaning them yeah it was a well kept place
Starting point is 01:13:34 except for this one table that just straw wrappers receipts and a full chicken wing untouched underneath the birthday boys seat which I was amused enough by that I was trying to like
Starting point is 01:13:50 sneakily take a picture of it I tried I didn't have the right angle for it and the kids mom noticed because we're like pointing it out and she like did that thing where like you know she's trying to readjust her like vantage point and I'm just like oh no no no
Starting point is 01:14:06 hey it's okay we do a podcast we notice amusing things around us there's nothing wrong with the absolute master children are making there's nothing wrong with what's going on here we're just amused by the stuff that's wrong with what's going on here just your extra work
Starting point is 01:14:22 is entertaining us yeah and so she like sees it and like kind of like tells her son pick that up and he does and he immediately drops it into his soda which we notice and bust out laughing and then he's like looking back so he noticed
Starting point is 01:14:38 egging him on like he's playing for he's playing to the crowd man and then he drops his receipt and the straw wrapper into the coke and he's just soaking all of it in this like gross borderline hey you dare me to take a sip
Starting point is 01:14:54 drink that he's got in front of him that a middle schooler would do I did the same thing I used to put salt and pepper in my drinks I was done with them stack the sugar packets dump some of those in put some straws in your why our country is on the decline cognitively
Starting point is 01:15:10 I'm just this is proper like seven year old Midwestern Applebee's behavior seven year old he was a teenager but then he pulled the receipt that had been soaking out and just like through it at his friends face and it just kind of like just like
Starting point is 01:15:26 landed on the side like like in a cartoon and I was just like are we about to witness a food fight I was giddy and this whole scene I would say Garrett I have to give an award to I would say
Starting point is 01:15:42 it was way too much yes this was definitely way too much in a good way now I know a lot of you you hear this podcast you're like what Michael and Garrett don't like cheese but because we love you all we have hired
Starting point is 01:16:04 a cheese correspondent my friend Stephen he's doing the work that we don't want to quite honestly so he was able to review his dish his cheese covered dish at Hooters but as he was walking out his
Starting point is 01:16:20 belt loop accidentally hooked on one of the Hooters fanny packs and they thought he was shoplifting so he got tackled by security messing up his job pretty bad anyways we had to get somebody else to voice his review for him get well soon Stephen
Starting point is 01:16:36 hey what's going on y'all no gray here tight end for the Kansas City cheese I'm so honored to be on this episode the Hooter Bowl super super exciting stuff unfortunately Stephen is not here to do this review
Starting point is 01:16:52 of the Hooters chicken filly cheese steak for fine dining podcast but don't worry I am here and I am fortunate enough to do this for you all apparently Stephen got tackled and he can't talk now
Starting point is 01:17:08 it's super unfortunate but don't worry Stephen I've been there plenty of times throughout my football career it's all good brother I got you on this one so I'm gonna put 60 seconds on the clock if I go a little over I'm sorry but we are gonna go ahead
Starting point is 01:17:24 and we are going to not this review of Hooters chicken filly cheese steak and this is all coming from Stephen ready set go so he got the chicken not the steak so he could feel
Starting point is 01:17:40 healthier I think everyone in this world is probably right there with you brother it's a good choice the sandwich was worse than the sum of his parts delicious bread succulent chicken perfectly cooked peppers onion cheese tasted good nice and
Starting point is 01:17:56 stretchy I think those are awesome very very valuable parts of a filly cheese steak especially if you're gonna go the chicken route bread is always something on the top of my list for me so I'm glad that was hitting perfectly and cheese can definitely make or break depending on how much
Starting point is 01:18:12 you have but however the flavors didn't blend at all and needed more grease or three times the cheese so that kind of goes back with the amount of cheese that you use is super important overall four out of ten
Starting point is 01:18:28 rating that is the review from Stephen from me no gray tighten from the chiefs to everybody out there go chiefs and hopefully I'll have a great rest of your day we've got to move on to dessert
Starting point is 01:18:44 we got three desserts for the table did you try Stephen's I did and what was it Stephen got the caramel fudge cheesecake and how was it it was delectable I like cheesecake you do not like cheese
Starting point is 01:19:00 but it was subtly sweet good rich caramel flavor overall good seven out of ten cheesecake okay almost on par with cheesecake factory and what did you get I got the key lime pie how was that bad it it wasn't bad the taste was
Starting point is 01:19:18 okay uh-huh it was a good sweet balancing treat after a greasy meal but my problem is there was no tartness to it it tasted like life savers lime yeah that doesn't sound like
Starting point is 01:19:34 something you want for like a full dessert I don't hate the taste of it it just didn't taste like a key lime cheesecake to me so I'm just going to have to give this four out of ten meanwhile I got the chocolate mousse cake and it was it was rich
Starting point is 01:19:50 as as all hell did you have a bite of it I didn't you did not because like I heard about the richness from both you and Stephen love rich chocolate a rich rich chocolate cake I'm I am here for it this tasted like the
Starting point is 01:20:06 best grocery store bought chocolate cake you could have which isn't a bad thing but it just means it didn't hit that like elite tier of chocolate cake it was right a notch below it eight out of ten
Starting point is 01:20:22 but an eight out of ten dessert yeah I'm having that every time eight out of ten if you tell me that something consistently great dessert I will happily order it tell me the grocery store where you can get an eight out of ten dessert and I'll go there see that's the thing I don't know there was
Starting point is 01:20:38 something about the texture to it or the preparation of it where it just it tasted store bought and I don't know how to verbalize what those words mean but I feel like you understand it I get it like it's it's something you get at the bakery counter at Ralph's
Starting point is 01:20:54 not as good as the thing you get I don't even know what that is it sounds too fancy that I'm unfamiliar they don't let people like me in there Erowan is fancy whole foods oh is it yeah they don't let people like me in there
Starting point is 01:21:10 actually last time I was at Erowan I saw Rod Stewart you're not Rod Stewart so alright we got to rate the food I liked enough well enough to cancel out the stuff that I didn't like I'm just gonna go zero
Starting point is 01:21:26 thumbs Hooters excels at traditional wings it's not in the name but it might as well be in the name Hooters is synonymous with wings growing up that's what I always heard go to Hooters for the wings and it's not just an excuse for my pervy
Starting point is 01:21:42 uncles to go see women maybe it is but the wings are good the desserts disappointed me a little bit so overall I'm just gonna go zero thumbs up too nub strong nub strong
Starting point is 01:21:58 munchkin menu musings hi my name is Will hey I'm 24 years old I love you baby this kid's be Hooters
Starting point is 01:22:22 I take color on it and I love it if it is just red it bleeds that's red yeah he's playing with the football
Starting point is 01:22:40 I didn't notice I got all the way through it I liked it uh we we're supposed to read that kid and just make it they want me to draw a football I had Uncle Michael do it
Starting point is 01:23:00 I'm gonna outsource it I like I like over the skids menu I like the Hooters kids meal hoo hoo
Starting point is 01:23:16 hoo I just got this very old 48 a.m. with you thank you final rating you we gotta give Hooters a rating Garrett
Starting point is 01:23:54 it's time we gotta smack it up there we gotta put it on the chachki of mediocrity but where's it gonna go I don't know is it gonna be the perfect five no way there's no shot this is the perfect five do you think it's gonna even be in the zone of mediocrity that four to six safe zone
Starting point is 01:24:10 frankly I don't think it's going to be I wouldn't put it there no where are you putting it I'm gonna go 6.09 and I think of it this way would I rather go to Hooters or Bubba Gump I gave Bubba Gump 6.05
Starting point is 01:24:26 and I preferred my Hooters experience ever so slightly sure thanks in actually entirely to our new server champion Amy yeah other places around here Lubies I gave that a 6.21 yeah islands I give that
Starting point is 01:24:42 a 6.24 both of those two places I would prefer to Hooters okay so I'm make sense then I'm comfortable with my 6.09 for Hooters I'm gonna go with a 6.23 I'm going a little bit higher
Starting point is 01:24:58 not too much but yeah Hooters safely falls outside of the zone of mediocrity Hooters ends up with a 6.16 and I'm gonna go ahead and throw that on up
Starting point is 01:25:14 on the Chachki of mediocrity now you know what this means Garrett it's time for the you must bowl not mediocre enough draw from the bowl the you must bowl so since Emma chose this yeah Emma chose Hooters
Starting point is 01:25:36 how are we gonna handle this if you chose the restaurant I say you know what let's do it the way they determine who goes first in a in a Super Bowl game with a coin flip let's flip a coin alright so the way this will work is
Starting point is 01:25:52 I'll flip the coin you can call heads or tails in the air whoever loses the coin flip has to do the you must bowl punishment whoever wins the coin flip gets to choose whether or not they want to be the headline game or the headline game guesser
Starting point is 01:26:08 okay does that sound fair kinda get two birds with one stone alright Garrett call it in the air heads it was tails Garrett so you get the you must bowl punishment
Starting point is 01:26:26 and I get to choose if I want to guess headlines or present headlines uh I want to guess headlines how am I even supposed to do this you must wear
Starting point is 01:26:50 the current restaurant's uniform to the next restaurant if you lose the headline game and said it happens to be a Hooters uniform if I lose I'm gonna have to wear
Starting point is 01:27:06 hot pants in a Hooters shirt to the next restaurant to the next restaurant alright well you've got some stakes for the headline that's very funny cool alright
Starting point is 01:27:22 this will make the headline game exciting and because we do have to pick a new restaurant let's go ahead and play the headline game the rules of the headline game are as follows Garrett will present three headlines to Michael
Starting point is 01:27:40 that include this week's restaurant they can be made up or they can be actual headlines if Michael can correctly guess if at least two out of three are real or fake he will get to select next week's restaurant however if Garrett stumps him
Starting point is 01:27:56 he'll select again are you ready to play fellas yeah I'm ready to play are you ready to play Garrett I got headlines what's hilarious to me is I don't think they make Hooters uniforms in men's
Starting point is 01:28:14 so wait so do I have to like wear a push-up bra and stuff too like I don't have boobs well we'll see what we can make okay but hey it hasn't happened yet let's go here we go
Starting point is 01:28:32 headline number one Hooters girl charged with murder asks a judge to adjust bond so she can pay with only fans money god that's a good one uh I feel like murder and only fans are too extreme and therefore
Starting point is 01:28:54 it sounds like something you would make up so I'm gonna say false next one yeah move over Hooters London bar to have real live owls uh I mean I know they do owl cafes
Starting point is 01:29:12 in like Japan uh I'll say true I don't know it sounds like something silly you would correlate like owls and I mean of course owls and Hooters are correlated I'll say true okay third one give a hoot cornhole tournament
Starting point is 01:29:30 at Sarasota Hooters false give a hoot you made that up I thought like you would pick up on cornhole instead alright is that the whole headline okay the headline is give a hoot cornhole tournament
Starting point is 01:29:46 at Sarasota Hooters a success false yeah those sound very made up so for the first one Hooters girl charged with murder asks judge to adjust bond so she can pay with only fans money bullshit you guessed false and this
Starting point is 01:30:04 story is true there's a there's a reporter out there who is just you how can I phrase this in the most garret way possible no I would have inserted the phrase fat stacks of only
Starting point is 01:30:22 fans cash into a headline yes I'm glad you're not in journalism so next one move over Hooters London Bar to have real live owls yeah I mean I don't know that also feels like you made it up I said true
Starting point is 01:30:38 and this one is true it is true okay cool so I'm one to one one and one this is the one that matters now okay this will determine if you have to wear I guess you already know how how I did or whether or not you do a hoot cornhole tournament yeah Sarasota Hooters
Starting point is 01:30:54 a success you went false right away yeah that's completely true no so I don't get to see you wear a Hooters uniform our fans don't get to see you wear a Hooters uniform oh no I know deep down inside you're sad
Starting point is 01:31:10 you don't get to wear a Hooters uniform so you in the headline game that means you get to pick our next restaurant where are we going I want some Mexican food I have never tried before okay let's go to Chevy's we just got back from San Francisco
Starting point is 01:31:26 I think I think that oh god yeah I think that might be the closest one I think we have to drive to San Jose I've never been to this place I've never lived near one but like we just saw this thing let's do it I guess we're driving back hey there there are some
Starting point is 01:31:42 people to drive up to the Bay Area every single weekend yeah I guess so we can be those people we can alright well thank you so much for watching the fine dining podcast thanks for checking us out on Patreon if you wanted to watch the video hope you had a great time let us know
Starting point is 01:31:58 if you want to see more videos like this this is kind of a trial run we want to know how much of our beautiful shining faces you want to see every day in your life follow us on Instagram and TikTok at fine dining podcast send us an email at findiningpodcast at gmail.com
Starting point is 01:32:14 if yeah if you ever worked at Chevy's or if you have any stories from there or if you have any Hooters stories like we'll still listen to those I'm sure people have Hooters stories or hey if you have some fun suggestions for the you must bowl just because I didn't have to wear a Hooters uniform
Starting point is 01:32:30 in public this week it doesn't mean we're just going to be flooded with people being like where a Hooters uniform where Hooters uniform and it's just gonna yeah well cool well thank you guys so much for joining us thank you we did not find the most mediocre restaurant but we're still
Starting point is 01:32:46 looking we are the search continues we'll see you next week have a fine day and hey while you're at it why don't you go ahead and make it five stars come on follow us on
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Starting point is 01:33:58 we're going to find a mediocrity the search continues see you next week hurt my throat a little have a fine day

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