Fine Dining - Twin Peaks: The Revenge Breastaurant feat. Emma Danger

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

Michael & Garrett get back at Michael's niece-aged cousin Emma Danger for sending them to Hooters last time she was on the podcast! Twin Peaks is a breastaurant founded on the premise that Hooters had become "too tame," and lived up to that idea in its early years amidst scandals and indecent exposure charges Garrett fulfills his You-Must Bowl duties by donning Insane Clown Posse facepaint and consuming this meal while embodying the Juggalo lifestyle Even a little Judge Judy is more Judge Judy than expected Is there an underground fighting ring in this Twin Peaks? Find out in What's Going On Over There! JUB will help you gauge when a conversation has ended Emma's celery addiction has her spiraling out of control Some pretty wild takes about this restaurant in this week's Yelp from Strangers Totally not-at-all-biased scientific evidence "proves" that ogling women's bodies is good for your health Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish) Voice Actor: Emma Danger We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (July's episode: McDonald's for Grimace's birthday!), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan & Sue Ornelas   Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send us your Twin Peaks stories at [e-mail].   Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast   Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!   Next time on Fine Dining: Septemburger! Brace yourself as the Best Burger Tournament of the Year kicks off! If you have deeply held beliefs about certain burgers in the pantheon of casual dining, send your thoughts to [e-mail].   Totally Not Sponsored By: JUB

Hello, and welcome back to the fine dining podcast. The search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. I'm your host, Michael Ornellis, and I'm your host, Garrett's work. And this is a show where we're looking for the perfect 5.00 restaurant experience out of 10. The...Mediocrest. The MetaWorkrest. And so far, its Applebee's. Applebee's is our, our crux. Yes, it is our fulcrum of mediocrity,

but it is not perfect center, it's a 5.02. This seesaw has a little slant in it, you know? And we gotta get it perfectly balanced, perfectly calibrated. So the search does continue. This week we went to Twin Peaks, a restaurant. Yes. And this was actually one of the country's

fastest growing restaurants. The most enlarging restaurants. To have an augmentation. It very much had an augmentation. It had a 2014. It had implants. We didn't go alone though. We figured we took a teenager to Chuck E. Cheese's last year. We thought that

would be funny and honestly an acceptable reason for two men in their 30s to go into a Chuck E. Cheese and not be taken out in handcuffs. There's the only way. I don't really want to risk the handcuff thing. I get handcuffs. I want to know I'm getting handcuffs. I don't know what that mean. But we took my cousin niece, as all call her, cousin niece, my cousin niece. That sounds like some weird thing from the South. It really does. I mean, she's my second cousin once removed,

but she's basically a niece to me. Emma, she was our guest on Chuck E. Chies' she's one of my favorite people. And so we thought it would be fun to get revenge on her because at the end of our Chuck E. Cheese episode, she sent us to Hooters. She thought that would be funny, but now she had to come with us to a different restaurant and one that claims to be raceier. Emma, how was it?

No comment. You were literally brought on to comments. I know. It was great. There was actually a lot less breast that I was expecting. There was more but than breast. Was that? I wasn't paying attention to you.

I didn't have my glasses on, so I couldn't see. That is true. I don't know. I mean, there was a butt or two I noticed. The breasts seemed tame, I guess. I don't know. I was not really paying attention. So if it's not a tame breast, is it a rabid breast?

It's a wild, old, wild, old, old, old breast. Oh, God. On the wild. Anyways, this is part of the atmosphere, which is only a third of what we rate these restaurants based on. We go to these places, we check out their atmosphere, their service, and their food, and oh,

and we put all of those things together to come up with a cohesive rating by Manning Party of Three. We've been talking too long, our table is ready, we will get to it. The table is ready, follow me, have you tried our chicken breast? Serving pancakes and ribsits I recommend this spaghetti We're here to save us fine, not to impress

Your table is ready Complementary butter and bread These walls have growth signs Make neck out my hat Good luck at Altergraphe guitar Some grab from your city Behold the trusty of mediocrity I'm dining

Yes, I'm dining! I'm dining! Two letters on the sign are shining Now I'm flickering irregular timing Identify the perfect time How the ten I'm dining! I'm dining!

First impressions. So we roll up to the place it was still. It was. It was. It was. It was. So there was a you must. I'm just going to jump in right here. Great.

I had to live the juggalo lifestyle. And for those of you who don't know what the U-Muscle is it is a bowl of punishments that we have to draw from at the end of our episodes if the restaurant of the week isn't mediocre enough if it's too far outside the four to six score range you get punished for picking it. Yeah, so I had full clown face paint on like a jugalow, which is a fan of the insane clown potsy, and you also to commit to the look didn't have your glasses. No, I've never seen a jugalow with glasses. This entire experience, I'm legally blind. You were basically blind. So you're like, hey, Michael, can you talk about the atmosphere? Cause I'm not seeing it later. I'm like, is it bad if I tank this atmosphere rating? Because I can't see it.

And it's like, it's ineligible. No, you can't just shit on it because you didn't experience it because of a choice you made. But yeah. So my first impression of this was two hours in the car to drive to Sacramento from San Francisco with a full car and get it in full clown makeup the entire time.

Perfectly in my rear view mirror vision. And so every time I go to check for traffic, it's just like, ah! There's a clown! It's horrendous. So yeah, we roll up to the restaurant. We get out of the car. People are looking at you and like I just want to start off by saying Doing this in Sacramento is completely different than doing it in Los Angeles. Yeah. I wonder why people like there

No, okay. We still have the same Maybe the defect that we have from other you must both Heligins right but here I can, not only are they not looking, they're actively wanting me to not be here. Yeah. And the cleavage effect is, you know, people will look at you, but they try not to get caught looking at you.

Like cleavage. Yeah. Now, you were unwelcome in this place because the things it advertises when you look outside the restaurant, it's food plus drinks plus scenic views. Yeah. Now, the logo of this place is strategically two little mountain peaks, of course,

to have some snowy tops. With snowy caps, you know, the nipples on the boobs. So the aerials. The aerials. I don't know if there was actually a nipple. There was no. They had just all aerials. There wasibb. God, why did we have a 14 year old? You know, I was asking myself the same question. We had to, we had to get back at you. You're a punk. You're a punk and you know it. And who made me a punk? But that's a compliment. I didn't make you a

punk. Yes, you did. You showed me kid rock and all and all that I did play you kid rock and limp biscuit to show you what life in 2001 was like did you whip out some pop a roach. Oh, I did yeah, yeah, yeah, oh I just had to show her like hey, these are the mistakes of my past There was a cake shoved in my face grow from them and be better. That was my villain origin story. Yeah. That day was my villain origin story. It's rocking. I hope you know that. Yes.

In cooking beer. Oh, that's right. We did see cooking beer. All right. Let's stay on track. Let's talk about this experience. Yeah. So, they advertise food and drink and scenic views, which is like, oh, our waitresses are

hot. That's literally the point of this place. It's a restaurant. It's a restaurant. It's very like ski lodge themed. Oh yeah. There was like an elk or moose statue outside. And on the website under the about section,

it is all about the lodge mentality. Man-tality? Yes, mentality. So this is the place the lodge mentality. Man-tality? Yes, mentality. So this is the place we're going. Yes. We walk in the door, there's immediately just sexy women, like literally pictures of sex women on the... Like, you know the little things they flick

on the Vegas strip, like the advertised... Hooker trading cards? The Hooker trading cards. It felt like that kind of energy where it's just like literal women and lingerie and bikinis on the door. And it's just like this person's coming on this date. This person's coming on that date.

But Keeney contest on this date. Oh, strip club special guests. Basically. Yeah, it's like when the porn star comes to dance at your club and like the steak is better that night too. You know so much about this. Hey, I pay attention to billboards with strippers on them. Sure.

Oh. So I live by a spearman right now. It did kind of have that vibe. You walk in, there's a table full of alcohol, like a bourbon table. Yes, it was mostly bourbon. There was one non bourbon, which was a Jameson, but it was all just like mid- a bourbon table. Yeah, it was supposedly bourbon. There was one non bourbon, which was the Jamison. But it was all just like mid-shelf bourbon. Like if you're going to display some stuff,

at least have something that costs at least $40. Come on. No bottle on this table would cost more than 20 bucks at the store. Yeah. Now they did have a lot of like antler stuff. They had like an antler chandelier basically. It looked pretty cool.

They had taxidermy, deer elk, mousse heads, bison, smaller game as well. Yeah. The handles to the bathroom were like bone. Basically, they look like tusk almost. Yeah. There was also an article from the New Zealand Herald. An eye full a day keeps the doctor away.

Staring at women's breasts is good for men's health and makes them live longer. A new survey reveals, research have discovered that a 10 minute, ogle at women's breasts is as healthy as half an hour in the gym. A five year study of 200 men found that those who enjoyed a longing look at busty beauties had lower blood pressure,

less heart disease, and slower pulse rate compared to those who did not get their daily eye full. Dr. Karen Weatherby, who that sounds like a fake name. That is not. Who carried out the German study wrote in the New England Journal of Medicine just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent

to a 30-minute aerobics workout. Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. There is no question that gazing at breasts makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of a stroke and heart attack in half.

We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years. I don't even have work. That is what posted at the front of the restaurant. If nothing more, it's someone clearly fishing for confirmation bias. Like, oh, see? If that's an actual article, it is so incredibly absurd that someone sunk money into this. Right. But it's not absurd that there were test subjects willing to do it.

Of course. 200 men. I volunteer. I volunteer. Yeah. You're going to pay me to look at boobs. Oh, sign me up. Right. It is very's signed me up.

Right. It is very clear to me that very few people actually pass by this and read this, but it just feels like they're giving you permission when you walk in the door. I wouldn't even guess that all the waitresses have read that and know it's there. Like, it seems like it's that out of the way and obscure. And then if some customer is ogling them like a little to

aggressively, they might just cite the article and it's like, oh my, you guys are sad. The other part of walking in was you being like video me, get people's reactions to this clown walking in. And I don't know if the camera actually caught it, but I totally caught that as soon as you had passed one of the servers, she totally laughed. Good, not in like an abused way,

but like in an at-you kind of way. Juggalos get a bad reputation. Yeah, you've walked a mile in there, she is. I've felt the unwelcome gazes. I've felt the hatred. I've felt the non-belonging. And when I do this, I just want to look for members of my own Juggalo family.

Whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop. Because really. Jack, Jack, just whoop whoop whoop. Thanks, Jack. You think of Jugglos, you think of the drugs, you think of the party, you think of the whippets. Yes. People getting high on whip cream containers on aerosols.

But you know what, the most important thing about juggalo life is. What? Family. Breach. Your family isn't your blood. Your family are your fellow juggalos that love you as much as you love them. And we're specifying who you are. I got to move us past this. You knock it off.

You actually are my family. Okay, you're on my side here. Only by blood. Wait. Only by blood. I'm only related to you by blood. Enough about this ridiculousness. I want to know more about the background of this place

that's posting studies saying ogle women on the walls of their restaurant. Have you gathered up some rusty facts, Garrett? Woop, boop. Okay, let's go into this week's rusty fact roundup. on the walls of their restaurant. Have you gathered up some rusty facts, Garrett? I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. Yeah Whoop whoop. Oh God. All right. Let's all do it together at least. Oh, yeah dumb Whoop whoop the first twin peaks opened in the Dallas Fort Worth suburb of Louisville, Texas in 2005 so they're not that old 18 years. Yeah, Twin Peaks is old enough to work at itself now.

Oh God, Twin Peaks is barely legal. Yeah. I'm sure they would actually love to know that. Underage. Woo, woo, woo. Co-founder Randy Dewitt saw an opening in the Breastarot market because in his opinion, Hooters just wasn't racy enough.

Oh great. Oh. Yeah, that's pretty gross. And do it said in a later interview, what was Salacious 3 decades ago has now become family friendly. It's not unusual to see children in Hooters doodling and coloring books, and compared with the clothes at some popular teen retailers, Hooters white tank tops and orange shorts seem almost demure.

Pfff. So he wanted just to be a trashier, more borderline pornographic hooters. Yeah, but I'm okay with that. I'm glad you are, Gary. I'm okay. Congratulations. Be trashy with your legal age human beings.

Yeah. Don't bring up the word teen retailer in one sentence and talk about sex appeal and trashing us in the next one. Just don't put those words together. Yeah. Real. Oh, God, the way you guys talk. Real.

Real, whoop, whoop. Well, DeWitt succeeded in his goal to make a restaurant as racy as possible. Did he? Oh, he did. I mean, not based on what we experienced. Twin Peaks girls were hit with indecent exposure charges in 2017 at a Chicago area location, including one server in lingerie whose entire butt was uncovered.

Wow. So, her ass was just hanging out around a bunch of food being served. Hahaha. Oh, that's not a mix I like to hear. Oh. That sounds like a health code violation. Woo. Woo.

While corporate paid for all of the legal expenses, company attorneys put in a guilty plea for each charged employee and also neglected to inform their clients about the timeframe to appeal a decision. Whoa. So all of these poor women, they have a rhythm under the block. They have an Indies and Exposure charge on their records with no chance of getting it expunged. Whoa. Whoa.

Speaking of attorneys, this chain is no stranger to courts and lawsuits. Oh, that doesn't surprise me. I'm sure. Oh, my God. In 2010, Twin Peaks sued its fellow Breastarant northern exposure for trademark infringement. Really?

And that was eventually set a lot of court in favor of Twin Peaks. Woo, woo, woo! In 2011, Twin Peaks was sued by Hooters after a bunch of employees left Hooters and moved to Twin Peaks, including the current CEO. They were all accused of stealing trade secrets. The current Twin Peaks CEO.

Yeah, the current Twin Peaks CEO, I think he used to be a VP over at Hooters. And jump chip. Yeah. One with a bunch of people, including the chief legal officer at the current time, what do you mean trade secrets? They're not secrets.

Everyone knows what they are. But maybe it's secret. What's underneath the top? It's secret, yeah. I guess owls. It's owls. Yes, real owls. Yes.

And who it sounded like a woo-woo. Woo-woo. woo-woo. Woo-woo! In 2018, two former servers also sued Twin Peaks for sexual harassment. In 2020, 34 employees formed a class action lawsuit over sex discrimination and harassment. I'm not surprised about any of this. No. What are you talking about?

I'm shocked. Sorry, Cajun. Yes. Allegations and discoveries during these suits included a pre-shift inspection and ranking with tone scores according to the Dallas Morning News and not disputed by Twin Peaks corporate. Really? So there really is a pre-shift ranking for servers. Based on this ranking and based on their score,

they're given the more profitable parts of the restaurant. They're given better shifts. They may or may not be sent home early. Is this every restaurant that does this? I didn't see. Or is this the one that you- I did not find that it was every restaurant, but when it was brought up in the class action lawsuit,

Twin Peaks did not deny it. They basically said, well, they knew about this one, they were hired. Oh. Can you imagine showing up at a job interview anywhere else? And they basically be like, oh, by the way, not a big deal, but we do rank you in order of honours in the point point, but that's not, but that's a side thing.

Man, just run out. For the most part, you're just running food out to people, it's pretty chill. But hey, it's worse. Oh, wonderful. It's just so hard. What I was hoping you would say. Other allegations include forced changing

in front of the entire kitchen staff. No. No! No! Came out. Was this disputed? No! That allegation was not responded to. That was just part of the class action lawsuit,

which I believe was subtle on the courts. So there was no confirmation on where or denial of an allegation. Oh my goodness gracious. Woo-woo! But wait, there's more. Hahaha. Management also allegedly required pictures

sent to them from dressing rooms in public while employees were purchasing new lingerie. They wanted to know, oh, so your new outfit is this revealing enough? Is this racing enough for our restaurant? So it's like a thing of they had final approval over. Oh my gosh. I don't know if they had fine literally. Or input right.

Despite all of this, Bloomberg anointed twin peaks as one of the nation's fastest growing restaurant chains in 2014. Okay. So how fast have they grown? There are now 98 locations in 28 states with only one in 2014. Okay, so how fast have they grown? There are now 98 locations in 28 states with only one in California, which is the one we want to eat. I don't think that's that much. Well, but what? I don't know like a comparison, but what did it come from? In 18 years, they have opened up about a hundred restaurants. That's I mean, other places have expanded way faster. Yeah, but others have expanded slower. And also the clientele of this is going to be very niche compared to

like an olive garden which kind of just appeals to families. Yeah. Exclusively. This like appeals to the making of family. No, it doesn't. I mean, who knows the amount of love stories that could have been created from a hooters or a 20s. Yeah. Love it for a side. I mean, I knows the amount of love stories that could have been created from a hooters or a twin piece? Yeah, love it for a sign. I mean, I'm sure for many patrons, they do feel that way. Yeah, it's just probably not reciprocated definitely. Woo, woo, woo! Unsurprisingly, the state with the most locations is Texas with 31. Okay, so a third of them basically.

And number two is Florida with 11. Also, of course. This is a scratch kitchen. So just like Chetters, everything in-house is made from scratch daily. That makes my food more upsetting, I think. That was another goal for Twin Peaks. They wanted to take hooters and improve the food. So not only do our women have fewer clothes, our foods better. I mean, that's the goal. I don't know if I think they accomplished either of those things. We'll see if they do, but they tried. Yeah.

They are famous for their 29 degree beers. They did have when you walk in, I guess when you walk past the front counter on the backside of it, there's literally a thermometer that shows you in like neon letters. It looks like one of those signs where it says you can't purchase alcohol if you were born before this date,

like that kind of blinking red neon sign, but instead it just said 26 degrees. And like it was fluctuating. It's got to stay above 28 degrees long enough because 28 degrees is the freezing point for beer. Oh, I did see it dip below that. Oh, danger zone. Not for long. Woo, woo, woo!

Let's leave you guys with one more fact. Okay. I promise this is not about sexual harassment. Okay. Or lawsuits. Why are you winking? It's shit. In 2015, the Waco Texas location of Twin Peaks

had a gun fight between two rival gangs. Oh, oh mate. Nine people were killed. And 18 were hospitalized. Oh, my. Throughout this whole ordeal, this was two rival biker gangs going at it. Guns, knives, every single stereotypical chain weapon you could think of. I picture this as that newscaster fight scene from anchor man.

That's from anchor man. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my goodness. Anchorman, geez. Oh my gosh. Oh my goodness. Yeah. That's pretty intense. Yeah. Throughout all of this, 177 people were arrested. That's a brawl. And your favorite thing.

And despite nine deaths, guess how many convictions we got out of this? Zero. Yes. Zero. Zero convicted of any crimes from this event. All right. Well, that does it for this week's Resty Facts Roundup. So once we're seated, I mean, it's more of what you see when you walk in. It's wood everywhere. It's that specifically time. Yeah, it's a lot of tax see when you walk in. It's wood everywhere. It's that ski lodge vibe.

Yeah, it's a lot of taxidermy. They had kind of that rustic ski lodge upholstery with like moose patterns and not snowflakes or like trees, but sometimes those things, it's a very specific style. Like that is rustic decoration. It looks, it's your cabin up north. Yeah, it looks like a sweater. And that's upholstered over all the seats. The seats have actual like wooden branches and

stuff kind of carved into it. It's got that texture. I liked it. Yeah, there are wood and horns and animals everywhere. Very cozy. Very cozy. I think it just needed like a figure fireplace. A lot of taxidermy. there were like bears with sunglasses. And there was like a little raft that had three small game in it, like a badger, a raccoon, a squirrel, and they had like a little boat or something. It was cute. Lots of TVs, lots of TVs.

Oh, okay, I didn't like the TVs. I wasn't offended by the amount of TVs. I just thought they were slightly too large. I don't know what it was about the size. It looks like a sports arena jumbo. Oh, yeah. Like it did. They were larger than like the staff.

They were larger than hooters. These TVs were larger than the TV's. We're also closer to them. Any other location we've seen. Yeah, I do think we were closer to them. So that does shift the perspective. They were also angled slightly down towards us. But yeah, it was it was a lot.

Lots of sports games going on, probably every fourth TV maybe had a repeat of a different TV. So I actually thought that they had a good distribution of variety. You never saw the same thing on two consecutive TVs. They were spaced out well. Yeah, at first. The sound of the place was mostly music. I wasn't hearing anything from any of the TVs. I didn't hear any sports.

It was just the music, the chatter, the ding and clang of bar glasses. I actually think that's the way to go. Unless it's like the Super Bowl or like a championship game or something like that, even a division final, I don't really wanna hear it. I'm fine to just like kind of see it as background noise. I don't know, was there anything in particular

that stood out to you about the decor of the place? Did you like the atmosphere? Yeah, it was nice, it was cozy. I feel like the TV's kind of threw it off like a little bit, just a little bit. Why are these TVs so big? You're supposed to be staring at the breasts, not the TVs.

Well, that's why the sound's not there. Yeah. Because it's like, oh, we don't want you to have both of your senses not to it. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, so you see the sound's not there. Yeah, because it's like oh, we don't want you to have both of your senses Okay, so you see the TV's and you hear the breasts Exactly that makes the most sense you get it you get it One thing all of us noticed at one point of the night judge Judy started popping up on multiple TV Well, yeah, I think I think yeah, I think a game ended and

Judge Judy just pervaded and I looked around and I've got to say Garrett. It was way too much That's right. I am giving judge Judy's presence at this point the this is way too much award She was everywhere. She wasn't even wearing a bikini. What the hell? She was lurking. She was like putting her camera down the front of her judges thing, though to snap lingerie pics to the owners of Twin Peaks. I respect that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was like, is this racey enough? And they very firmly declared no, because then we saw the direct TV logo on all of those TVs as they were like, we're gonna find anything else. Yeah, Judge Judy, your tone score is too low. You don't get the good sections. So yeah, Judge Judy, coming on for a solid five minutes before anyone noticed at a twin peaks, at a breast-front, is in fact way too much.

We did have a random rain storm in the middle of all. Yeah, but it was like no one knew what rain was. Essentially, like half the service staff cleared out. Oh yeah, they just stood out like, what's this thing? It's Sacramento. They don't get too much rain. They just stood out like what's this thing? It's Sacramento. They don't get too much rain. They do there. I don't know. They don't. Customers went outside and stared. It was just this thing where I'm like, guys, it's just rain. We're people waiting for like a wet t-shirt contest or something. And even though the servers that went out are like,

am I required to do a wet tea like and so ingrained into them? And the owners just like leering from the back, he's like, yes. Yeah, we're not even wearing white, we're actually wearing black, which is not conducive to a wet tea shirt kind of. And it was like a downhound.

Oh yeah, it was pouring. It was, it was a lot. Yeah, remember when it snowed in LA a few years ago? My entire office just went out and looked at the snow and this was exactly like that. I see it with rain in LA too. Yeah, people are not just Sacramento. We don't get a ton of rain in California.

But clearing a restaurant like it's a fire drill. I don't know. Like maybe they're thinking me, Juggalo man, is inside. I'm safer outside, and this is an excuse to get away. In the bathrooms, there were so many, there were illustrations, not pictures, but that classical pin-up style of almost exposed women

all over the walls. Did you see the duct taped covered hole that was right by the urinal? Yeah, I did. You make more out of that than I did. To me, it just looked like a piece of wall broke off and they cut it out. I know in your mind you go a whole of glory. Well, it was quite obviously a glory hole. No, it wasn't. It wasn't in a stall and it was way too tall. Well, hey, it was at eye level. Professional basketball players need glory holes too. No, can we not bring up glory holes with my niece? Yeah. Thank you. That's what it looked like.

Speaking of inappropriate things about young people, the founder of Twin Peaks failed in his mission because there was definitely some grandparents with a grand kid. Oh, yeah. Some multiple like families with young children. Yeah. So even this has become, I guess, societally tame. This place though, very tame. And okay, like, I was expecting the outfits to be more revealing just because this was what they were setting up.

This is what they're selling. All of the pictures are very revealing, very risque. And like the ones on the doors even. Yeah, and I don't know, these just look like normal humans. I'm wondering if it's because we went for like a, it was like a mid afternoon thing. It was like a three o'clock. Ah, we got the day shift old dancers.

I mean, yeah, I mean, like maybe if we went at night, it would have been a raucous situation. And we kind of, I guess, missed the boat on that, but I don't know. If this is what they're putting forward, they didn't deliver on it. They didn't. They're pushing this sex thing so hard. Yeah. And all we got are some women and grandparents and grandchildren, like, right. Like, they did have a few things where I'm like, oh, I can see how maybe this will be exciting after hours, I guess. Like, they had a few different delivery systems for shots.

They had like a ski. Oh, the ski, yeah, that's awesome. They had a small, like, a bunch of little slots for shots on it. They also had a little rack that had a bunch of axes stuck into stones. That was so random. But they don't a bunch of axes stuck into stones. That was so random. But they don't look like the axes actually come out. Like it looks like we go to one of those throwing ranges

where you can throw axes at a bullseye, but this doesn't look interactable. So it's a bunch of them. It's clearly for something, and I cannot for the life of me figure it out. It looked as if the axes were carved into the wood. Like it's like one solid piece. Yeah, it looks like a decoration.

So my guess is maybe this is another thing that they like somehow line up drinks on or something. I don't exactly see how they would do it, but I can't imagine any other use for this. We did get to see what they do for birthdays. And it was really disappointing. It was. It was just a bunch of waitresses kind of clapping and cheering. And then they walk up and they're just holding this plaque that has some antlers on it. And it says, Twin Peaks, I saw

some nice racks on my birthday. Get it? Because it's a rack of antlers. But they kind of petered out. Like they got to the table, they were clapping, and then they were like, who's the birthday boy? And then they just kind of showed to him the sign they were already holding, and then no one knew what to do. They took a photo. Did they? Yeah, they did.

They all lined up and took a photo. It looks like they were just like standing there. Like, uh, okay, like when you don't know when a conversation is obviously ended and you just kind of stick around too long. And now a word from Mark totally not made up sponsor. Oh hi there, it's your favorite sponsor job and I'm back. Is this what you would do in this situation? You're surrounded by a half dozen busting servers.

And you just kind of freeze, they're just wishing you a happy birthday. And you're making it weird. That's where job comes in. I'll teach you social cues. Like, taking photos with a stranger. It's proper etiquette to always hover hand. You know where you put your arm around someone, but because you don't wanna look like you're coming

onto them too aggressively. You just kind of float your hand and enter to above their shoulder. Always do this when it comes to touching people. You just kind of float your hand and inch her to above their shoulder. Always do this when it comes to touching people you don't know. Just make sure to hide the evidence and put the hand somewhere like behind their back. So people don't see it when you show them the photo later. They might tease you. What a kiss.

I can also help you get out of a conversation that's obviously peedered out. You know when you do that thing and you just go oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, yeah, and then you just kind of sit there for a second Just bolt get on out of there. What are you doing? So I'll coach you on social skills. That's it. Come find me Don't call me on a phone. I don't have one. Okay, bye. See, it's not that hard But now I actually do have to go so for real this time. Okay, bye But now I actually do have to go, so for real this time, okay, bye! Now there was one other thing that I noticed, there was this far room in the back that I first noticed because there is a mannequin in a big red plaid shirt and a cowboy hat right in the doorway.

This is the second restaurant in a roller we've had just a random ass mannequin. Oh yeah, at Stinking Rose, we had the real doll guarding the bathroom. Yeah. And now we have just faceless man. Just standing there in front of a bunch of like leather couches. I wanted to why didn't this man have breasts? Yes. Why am I mean, he's clearly guarding something. Yes. Maybe to burglars from I really don't know, but I noticed it from a distance and the room looked very cozy, very comfy. It had like a like a study vibe. Like there were like bookshelves and stuff like that. Chis nice or TV. So I'm gonna guess it's like a room that you would rent for private parties.

Something like that. Maybe I really don't know, overall, I was into the general vibe of this atmosphere. You know, obviously you're incessant ICP stuff. Woo-boo! Kind of made me embarrassed to be with you, but overall, Tamer, not as trashy as I expected the place to be, and I like the wood lodge feel. I think it's actually very cozy, so I'm gonna go one thumb up.

I'll also go one thumb up. While this didn't hit my Ronch expectations, honestly, if it would have hit my Ronch expectations, I might have just dropped the rating even lower. Yeah, at the place it was like gross. But no, this was a clean, well-decorated, well-thought-out hunting lodge. It was exactly what I wanted to be.

Yeah. So I'm gonna go one thumb up. I would like to give it a one thumb up as well. It was cozy. It was comfortable. It was really cozy and comfortable, which it was. It was. Do you expect that from a breast?

No. I would have expected the fireplace to be there. Yeah. Oh, so we were all, like, nestled up in the cozy bosom of twin peaks. I hate that phrasing so much. I would like nestled up in the cozy bosom of twin peaks. I hate that phrasing so much. I would never nestle up with you in that face paint. I want to be far from you.

Surface. Now our server was kind of uncomfortable with the situation. Well, the situation being your face paint, your look, your vibe. You still you tried to order a Fago to start? Yeah. Oh, okay. I mean, it's on brand if you're trying to do the ICP thing.

So yeah, Fago is a soda brand that is. From Detroit, Michigan. Big with the IC, with the Juggalo crowd. ICP also from Detroit. IBC, that's a root beer. That's a different soda, not related. No. So you clued her in, kind of told her like,

I could tell she was getting uncomfortable. So I was like, hey, I lost a bet. Yeah, I have to do this. Lost a bet has kind of become our code word for you must pull stuff so we don't have to tell people, like, hey, we're looking for a mediocre restaurant and we think your place might be the place, but the last place wasn't so I'm being punished.

No one has responded well to us telling them, like, we're looking for the most mediocre place. So our code word is just, I lost a bet. Yeah. And let me tell ya, I mean, going off of last episode with the Stinking Rose, people respond well to that. They're like, oh, that's funny. Yeah.

And like her demeanor changed instantly once I explained to she's like, oh, okay. And then I could tell she's like, oh, thank God, he's not murdered. He's not crazy. She was nice. Yeah, I liked our server well enough. It wasn't like the best service I've ever had.

It wasn't bad service. Now one thing about our server that like, look, there's nothing wrong with this, but it tickled me in a place that sells itself on sex appeal. She had a wrist cast, like she literally had like a black wrist cast that just looks funny. It looks out of place.

Like picture a girl in like lingerie and like a cast with like her friend's signatures on it. I mean, this one was a black one. So you wouldn't be able to see the signature book. I thought I saw some signatures. I'm like gold or something. Did you really? Yeah.

I saw something. It made me laugh a little bit. I bet that was an okay signature for management that she could wear it. Oh yeah, it was, it was a permission. Yeah, basically. It was a consent form One thing I actually did like about her is I asked her for recommendations for what to eat and

She gave a recommendation from every section of the menu. She was pretty honest about it too Yeah, I was like if you want the flatbreads in general they're pretty oily But I would go with this one if you're looking for wings This is my favorite flavor if you want a burger, this is the best sandwich. There was one or two other things, but yeah, she gave a bunch of recommendations. Very thorough. Like, to a point where I'm like,

oh, you actually kind of care to give us this information. Yeah. Which is not a given. Like, yeah, a lot of people will just be like, uh, this is my favorite thing, or they'll be like, uh, this thing is popular, and that's it. You get one. You get one recommendation. And then if you don't order that, they're like, why did I bother? So the idea of giving one from every section, I think that might

kind of be my new, not expectation, but I mean, it might be obnoxious. But next time I'm looking for a recommendation, I may literally say to our server, hey, within each section, obviously, if it's like a cheesecake factory and there's like 20 sections, I'm not gonna do that. I wanna see this, so you go to Chili's and you're like, hey, I wanna suggestion from each part of this Chili's menu. Okay, I'm just familiar with this.

I don't know man. I'm bailing on this, I'm not gonna do that. That would be crazy. I hear you. Sounds like a you must pull things. Oh no. What I will say though is her recommendation about the flatbreads being too greasy or oily,

put me in this like really awkward situation where like I had already decided that I kind of wanted a flatbread because they just looked good on the menu, like little pizzas. And so her saying they're too greasy or oily, me ordering it is now like a silent consent of, I don't mind too oily, which is just like-

I'm not gonna care what you said. I feel like you're making a health judgment on me. And you know what? It's valid, I do eat trash, but it feels like it forced me to admit it. I thought a cute little element with every server was, they had their name and then where they were from underneath. But most of them were fiction, which made it even better. Like Ars said Hawaii, but I believe that.

Some of the others were Bikini Bottom, which is where SpongeBob Squarepants is from. They're like Disney Land. There was Disneyland. Yeah, so they're clearly like, we're not going to tell you where we're from. Like you don't deserve our home addresses let alone Even a ballpark of a real city Now part of the uniform I noticed there was like a promotional tie-in with UFC But it was like literally on everyone's uniform now They were advertising that they were showing UFC events at the place.

And they were. And they were. But something about it being on their uniforms made it feel like there was more to it. Like they literally looked like the fighters look in UFC. Yeah, because they have official uniforms. Yeah. And it made me ask, what's going on over there?

What's going on over there? What's going on over there? Should I wear it? Should I game? What is going on over there? Michael, what is going on over there? Hey, thanks, Emma. You're welcome, anytime. Okay, so you know that special room

guarded by the mannequin? I think the reason that they had security there was to like scarred the room. A security man. I think the reason he was there was because he was actually locking down the space because I think they run an after hours fight ring. You were talking about how they have tone scores and they rank them. That's old hat. You're not allowed to discriminate by looks anymore. No, no, no. This twin peak discriminates by combat ability. You want the good section?

You got to fight for it, baby. How do you think you would fare in this situation, Emma? Are you a fighter? Are you scrappy? I've thrown some people to the floor in my days. In your days? Okay, I've thought people I haven't won. That's the point of a fight.

I know. I know. I have. You're that person who shows up with a black eye and you just go you should see the other guy. Yeah, so usually I either get pinned or like my armels and it's broken, you should ask my cousin, but I have thrown some people to the ground. In school? No, out of bed, a party. Oh, better. Yeah, that's where you do things like this. Yeah, we were playing

Truth of the Dan, they dared us to like fight. That's even funnier. Truth or dare, dare, you to fight to the death and they just throw a knife in between you Hey, that's how you get the best section you arm yourself I know and they try to like punch me. It was really it was sad because they were did they actually like try to punch you? Your legs wow They're trying to Charlie or see. If we take away her mobility, she's easier to beat. I know.

And then people were like chewing me on. I'm like, and then I just kind of like picked her up kind of chunked her. Juitas. Yeah. You were on to Rousey to ask. Yeah. Judging by the other servers at Twin Peaks, do you think you could have taken them? No. Yeah, I don't think so either.

Honestly, I think they know like jujitsu or something because I think they could like probably pin anybody down like you. Sure. Other than this mannequin, I saw no security there. This was a wild west situation. They had to fight for themselves. This was a nooters where they had the jacked buff buskers. No, no, no, no. This was a fend for yourself, which is why they're all training to fight. Yeah, which is exactly why we have figured out what's going on over there. What's going on over there?

None of the servers would make eye contact with me. Garrett, I wouldn't make eye contact with you. Why wouldn't make eye contact with you? Stephen was even saying from a distance, he couldn't tell where your eyes were because you had the vertical painted line right above where your eyebrow is on. Actually, Juggalo makeup can defeat

AI facial recognition software. Yeah. Then you couldn't get into your phone the entire time. You had to have to frickin' manually enter my password. I think when I look at this service service again, I liked it well enough. It was fine. Didn't set my world on fire, but I'll go one thumb up. I'm just gonna go zero thumbs.

Honestly, my interactions were pretty limited because I looked like I did. I wonder why. I'm a little hurt that all everyone was judging me so harshly just because of the lifestyle I chose. My lifestyle was harming no one, but yet I was receiving all of this judgment. It was harming me. That's society. It created this orbit around me of all the looks you got. Then people looked at me to be like, is this guy for real? I got a lot of like pity looks like oh this poor child is hanging out with these people. We had a rambunctious group. Your mom came with my mom came with my cousin my second cousin. She's wonderful. Steven or cheese correspondent was there and then Garrett and I and you and me

Garrett looked the way he looked and I just think people walking by were like, I cannot make sense of these five people in this combination. I don't get it. Do you have a thumb rating? I have, gonna go two thumbs up. You're gonna go two thumbs up. I'm gonna go two thumbs up. You really like the service.

I really like the service. I don't know, they were nice, but they weren't too nice. I kinda like the little like edge, edge, edge. The edge. Yeah, they gotta work for it. Cause I mean, like, you are a teen, you respond to edginess. Yeah. You're gonna go brewed and listen to something about.

I mean, she would brewedle with like the, here's what to get and here's what not to get like her recommendations. They were all nice, but they weren't all like too preppy. Like they were acting as if we were like service purchasing. They were lying to like, yeah, I'm clearly here to get your tip.

Yeah, that's kind of what I liked about it, though. I was like, I'm gonna go, we're chill with it. Yeah. We're chill. Food. Yum. So then with the food, I guess, I was expecting average.

I looked on Yelp and I kind of saw, and there's a scratch kitchen. Okay, okay, let's talk about something important. What's that? The salary. Can you drop it with the, you went on this rant in our Chuck E. Cheese episode about how it had the perfect set.

It's a garnish, basically. It's a palette cleanser. Why are you obsessed with, all right. Okay. So like, oh, how would you rate your sprig of parsley that comes with your food? Yeah. No, but it's celery, okay?

I'm not a fan of celery, but I need to speak by celery ways in these mediocre restaurants. You gave a 10 out of 10 to Chuckie Cheese's celery. You frickin' weirdo. It was delicious. It wasn't that good. How was this celery? This celery was pretty mediocre.

You cut me off to talk about middling celery? Yes. I think that's on brand. Yeah, it was celery. It was like, I don't wanna say slimy, but it was like wet. But not in the water way. But not in the water way.

That's what celery is in a whole water way. Was so you're saying like the outside were too moist. Yes, there was like a layer of like moistness. Oh, like a shield. It was like a slime on it, but just like a light layer. So it was like a layer of like moistness. Oh, like a shield. It was like a shield. A slime on it, but just like a light layer. So it was like there, but it didn't like ruin anything. It was just like, oh, like you noticed it.

You noticed it. Give me a score. Six out of 10. How the mighty have fallen. It could have been crunchy or the flavor could have been better. There was not enough string to it. Not enough string. Do you like it when you're eating celery

and it like gets starchy and it's like it doesn't. It's just like a pineapple apart. You do like your celery, Al dente. It doesn't taste like celery if there's no string to it. I agree. And hey, you like your fiber. That's a good thing. Yeah, sure.

You're so regular. You're picking up healthy life habits right now and I applaud you for it. Besides today the last time I ate celery was Chuck E. Cheese. And you've just been jonesing for more. You're kept awake at night thinking, when am I gonna get my next fix? To Beijing. Ah, yeah. Day 3 is a salary. I can't get it out ofsellery. I turned into our project at school.

Just a painting of celery. Miss Leonard, you can't fail me. You said the assignment was abstract. Cut me some slack. Stay 36. Where is it? I can't find it anywhere! Why? No one is giving away salary on cringless!

I am refreshing! Constantly! God damn it! You want me to have to go to Facebook Marketplace? Ah! Day 141. I give up. Oh wait, actually. Michael, you are still coming up podcast right into you?

Yeah, I'll be asleep with you. What? We got plenty of restaurants up here in the stay area. Yeah, I know. You need any restaurants that maybe have a sellerier test up? Oh my god! Can you show what the site you are texting me about this daily? Can you show what's out there?

I can't get this anymore. Ah, okay. We'll find a place up there that'll have some sort of like wingers. You know your income places without us for the podcaster, right? You don't understand. Ah, okay. Come on. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. We started with the triple play. That was the name of their platter that came with chips, salsa, guac, and queso. So three dips and chips. They did something real weird with the salsa. It was hot salsa, not spicy salsa, but like warm salsa. Warm and tingling. And like, salsa's supposed to be room temp.

I don't like a chilled salsa, but I now know, I don't really like a warm salsa either. It was okay, I was okay with the warmth, but what really screwed me up? It tasted so close to the taste of chili, and it was warm, so I'm like, I might eat in chili right now, or is this salsa? It tasted so close to the taste of chili, and it was warm, so it was so pretty. Am I eating chili right now?

Or is this salsa? It was smoky, it was like a red salsa. I didn't hate it, but the temperature choice was just odd. I think at room temp, this isn't pretty decent salsa. I'm gonna go five and a half out of 10 on it. I'm gonna go three out of 10 because this chili salsa was kind of an abomination. We're gonna go three out of ten because this chilly salsa was kind of an abomination. We're gonna go six out of ten.

It wasn't my favorite salsa I've ever had, but it wasn't bad. Was the fact that it was warm a positive for you? The warm, it was mediocre. So it was just whatever, like... It was whatever. The temperature didn't bug you or effect you in any way. I know it was different, but I didn't heat it. Then we move on to the guac,

which also had a bunch of pico in it. Actually, I thought it was pico. It was an abomination. There was guac and pico, but except it was pico on the top. That's actually not a new thing. I know, but it was just the way that the d... The way that the d...

It was... Yeah, they weren't intermixed at all. It was just pico on top of guac. I liked it well enough. I go six and a half out of 10 on the guac. I'm gonna go five out of 10. You said it's an abomination and you go five out of 10. I'm a very good writer.

So perfectly average is an abomination to you. Abomination. Okay. Calibrate, okay? Calibrate your system. Calibrate your system. Calibrate your system. Now, I'm gonna go in a different direction than all y'all. This is an eight out of 10 guac.

You've invited a lot. Why I like the guac? My first taste, I'm like, oh wow, this is a really good salty chip in guac. And then I had the chip alone, and there was no salt on it. Yeah. So this was a pretty salty guac, which,

okay, yeah, was kind of weird, but it paired perfectly with the chip, not having that. Yeah. And I like these chips well enough. I don't think I gave it a rating, but I mean, I'll go five and a half out of ten. Like the chips are pretty good. Yeah, they were perfectly fine for just filler food. And then you're the only one who had the case. I'm the only one who had the queso, right? I am the only one who had the queso. Do you have a score for that? Seven out of 10. It was pretty good. Yeah, it's good, good queso.

It kind of solidified after a little bit, but it was good. I don't wanna hear solidified and cheese together ever again. Yeah. What about that chip? There was this one chip. Yeah.

That was the super burnt chip. The burnt chip. It was just kind of in the corner the entire time. Nobody mentioned it or touched it. You're the odd one. You don't, you don't get to stay here. Yeah, no one ate it. No one ate it.

It was pretty sad. I felt bad for the poor chip, but it survived. It survived. Yeah, it survived. We didn't murder it. Yeah, exactly. Eating chips is chip murder. That's what we all know to be true.

Yes. It's like a news article The next thing I tried your mom got the Thai chili wings. Did you try them? I did not try them. You didn't try them You I did not try them. No, okay, so bad chicken really bad chicken wings and a pretty good sauce But the bad chicken kind of one out in the end, like just a dry chicken with a good Thai chili seasoning, had like some green onions on there, still not enough to save it four out of ten on the wings, which you're trying to be a scratch kitchen competing with hooters, hooters killed them on the wings, killed them. That's where they're most comparable and they drop the ball.

I'm glad I didn't eat that. Yeah. I'm just gonna jump in and say, these fries were amazing. My first bite, I didn't really love them. And then I kept finding myself going back and I got into pocket and I was like, you know what? My first impression was wrong. These are some solid fries.

Me too, like the first one I got really wasn't that crisp, but it really settled in every single one after was crispy, wasn't too greasy. It was almost like it had the texture of an in and out fry, but with actual flavor. Yeah. It had like a red dusting on it, like a fry salt. I went seven out of 10 on these. Like these are solidly good fries. I'm going nine out of 10 on these. Like these are solidly good fries.

I'm going nine out of ten on these fries. You're going nine out of ten on these fries. See that? These are like upper tier fries. All right. These are pretty good fries. You got a score? Seven out of ten.

Yeah, these are good. I'm not hating on these fries. I would get these fries again. I would go there and just get these fries. Go you. And what did the fries come with for you? What was your entree? I got the Nashville hot chicken fries. Go you. And what did the fries come with for you? What was your entree? I got the Nashville hot chicken sandwich.

Oh yeah. How was the chicken on that? So the chicken on the wings, not good. Now the chicken on this was moist and tender and the battering was perfectly crispy. Really? Even though it was completely coated and I think like a Frank's Red Hot mixed with something else.

Frank's good? Yeah, I like it. And it didn't actually make the battering soggy. So that was a nice crisp bite still throughout. Yeah. And then there was even more crispness with the coleslaw and fresh pickles added on there. So this was an excellent, textural, magnificent masterpiece.

Okay. Wow, throwing in a lot of strong words there. I'm going to give this a seven out of a ten for a really strong, if not authentic Nashville chicken sandwich. A very good one. So, oh, so you're saying the texture was a masterpiece once you add the flavor in at seven out of 10? The flavor was also great. It just, I prefer my Nashville.

Where did my Nashville, when you're throwing the word masterpiece around, where did it fall short to get down to seven? I don't think you needed the hot sauce. I would prefer it actually dipped into like a hot chili oil to be more of like an authentic Nashville hot chicken. I see. This was kind of like just a big hot wing on a bun.

Right, which tastes good, sure, but not authentic. Also in the hot sandwich category, your on tray, would you have? I thought a... It was like the avocado smash burger? Avocado smash burger, yeah. What'd you have? I thought the avocado smash burger. Avocado smash burger, yeah. What'd you think? That was one of our server's recommendations.

It was pretty good. It wasn't bad. There was something spicy in it, and I don't know what it was. And I think it was the cheese, but I couldn't tell. I was like the proportion of avocado. I always have an issue with avocado burgers, just because they tend to overdo it

and it kind of seeps out the sides. it's yeah, was it a messy eating experience or was it pretty well balanced? I mean, my pants, my shirt are covered in avocado and yeah, let's talk about how you can't eat properly. You just like threw a thing of ketchup on the ground and in your flustered like, oh no, you then threw your phone on to the pile of stuff. I don't want to comment on that. Are you new? I don't know, but for some reason today I was out of my game. I just you were sitting next to me. I don't know how anyone can cut anyone focus when there's just a whoop whoop breathing down our neck. I don't know if you can see, but there's avocado and ketchup all over my pants right now. I don't know how anyone can cut. I can't believe anyone focus when there's just a whoop whoop breathing down their neck. I don't know if you can see,

but there's avocado and ketchup all over my pants right now. I don't know if you can see it. I mean, I see dark stains and that's about it. Yeah. There's ketchup on the floor. So we're back. Big pile, yeah. Big pile, like ketchup.

You made a scene. I did. Do you have a rating on this burger overall? You liked it. It was pretty good. I'm gonna give it. I like the spice. It was kind of like caught me off guard a few times.

Yeah. I was like, I don't know what it was. I give it a seven and a half out of 10. We said that's so fancy. A seven and a half. Seven and a half. Mine. Okay, and then I got the Italian flatbread,

which had cheese sausage or meatball or something on it, a crumple pepperoni, some red peppers. I didn't really like this, it was a texture abomination to the point that it reminded me of a middle school cafeteria. And not even when they order out and you're like, oh, we got dominoes for the day. I have some things to say about middle school cafeteria and not even when they order out and you're like, oh, we got dominoes for the day.

I have some things to say about middle school cafeteria. Let's hear it. Oh, you actually want to hear it. Okay. When you say something to say, I feel the floor to you. Okay. Thank you. There are pizza since we're talking about flatbread and flatbread and pizza are basically

the same thing. Yeah. The pizza in a middle school cafeteria is an abomination. Right. It was like folded weird and it's in these like plastic bags and it's greasy that cheese is like, you can just look at it wrong and everything will just fall apart.

But at the same time, it's too stuck together. It's disgusting. This had like a gluey cheese to it. Oh yeah. It was thin and not didn't do much to hold anything unlike glue, but yet something about the texture was. This was sub-totinos. Yeah, the meat didn't taste fresh.

The bread was okay, like the crust, but like it's a flat bread, so only the two end pieces are even gonna have an enjoyable ratio of that. Everything else was just, I didn't like it's a flatbread. So only the two end pieces are even going to have an enjoyable ratio of that. Everything else was just, I didn't like it. I'm going three and a half out of 10. I wouldn't say it's abysmal, but it is solidly not good. And you tasted it too. Yeah, I tasted it too.

It wasn't good. It wasn't. It wasn't shakies. Horrible. It wasn't shakies. But I'll give this a four out of 10. Gun to my head. I'll eat it and probably not throw up Right probably what an endorsement So we're past all the entrees. It's dessert time. We got two desserts for the table

They had the twin peaks Sunday, which is two scoops of ice creams with little the Twin Peaks Sunday, which is two scoops of ice creams with little cherries on them to look like nipples. This was clearly a boob dish. And when we got it, the cherry, oh, so sadly started sliding down. Hey, okay, like a droopy nipple. Sometimes you get a bad boob job just because you get your boob job. This really hills. It doesn't mean it's good.

This was a bad boob job. This was literally like, boob job. This is really hilded, doesn't mean it's good. This was a bad boob job. This was literally like, oh no, my nipples are a scance. Ha ha ha. Tasted good. It came on like a Girodelli brownie. The ice cream I thought was pretty solid. I'm not hating on this dessert. It was in one of those little cast iron skillets

so you know that the brownie was cooked in a deliciously warm way. Did you try this one? I did. What'd you think? Did you try this one? I did. What'd you think? It was incredible. Yeah. I'm, yes.

The ice cream was like fluffy almost, but it was really good. The brownie was fantastic. The brownie was the best part. When I got down to that brownie, I was like, woof. Yeah, it's good ice cream, but this steals the show. Oh, yeah. They're like toppings.

There was like caramel and chocolate, I think. Yeah. Very good. I'm going to give it probably an eight out of 10. Eight out of 10? I give it the same thing. Eight out of 10 for me. I'm going to go with six out of 10. I'm gonna give it eight out of 10. Eight out of 10? I give it the same thing. Eight out of 10 for me. I'm gonna go a six out of 10. I'm not as big of a chocolate fan. It was a really good brownie.

Last for me. If I'm gonna have calories for dessert, I'd rather have something else. All right. And then other thing is our next dessert. Okay. So I will admit, our other dessert was better. And as soon as I saw it was on the menu, I will admit, our other dessert was better.

And as soon as I saw it was on the menu, I was like, we have to do this because I love apple desserts. And so many places don't have them anymore. They're always out, they're either out or they're just places that used to have them don't. They had apple turnovers.

It came with ice cream and a caramel sauce, and was this delicious. This was warm, the caramel drizzled perfectly on it, just a little bit of ice cream. The outside was like a churro shell. Oh yeah, it was like spicy on the... It was soft with a little crunch as well. It was simultaneously soft and gooey,

and crisp, that crisp edge. Eight and a half out of 10 for me. Just a little bit better, what a great dessert. I would go back there, I'd get the fries and the apple turnover and call it a day. Maybe try one thing new, but like, yeah, that's a good combo. Yeah, no, this was good. This is a nine out of 10 dessert for me.

This is the feeling it was just like the best, sweetest apple strutal filling I've ever had. That was really good. This is a 9 out of 10 dessert for me. This is the filling is just like the best, sweetest, apple strutal filling I've ever had. It was really good. I agree with Garrett, 9 out of 10. 9 out of 10? Yeah. It was really good. Solid dessert.

You know, I think I'm gonna just go overall on the food of flat zero thumbs. I really didn't like my entree. The starter we got didn't do much for me, but these desserts and the fries, I thought saved it. So I'm going neutral, zero thumbs. I'm gonna go one thumb up for this experience. Again, same here, the fries and the dessert

absolutely saved it. But for me, the rest of the stuff wasn't that bad. It sounds like you enjoyed your entry, which is a big difference between you and I. Everything was good. So this was like, this is a soft one thumb up. I'm gonna go one thumb up too. It was pretty good.

Desserts, fries, starters, onchise, very, very good. Like, would you want to go back to a Twin Peaks based on the food alone? Yeah. If assuming you didn't have to drive as far as sacrament of get there. Two hours. Yeah. I'm not hating on this food.

A lot of people will say you don't go for the food, but yeah, what do you go to a restaurant for? Well, when they're having bikini contests and lingerie shoots, they're attracting a different clientele. But yeah, I didn't hate the food here. I hated some of the food here, but I didn't hate the food overall. We got to put all of these things together into a final score, but before we do that, we're gonna head on over to Yelp and see what other people are saying about this Twin Peaks location in this week's Yelp from A little young from strangers A one-star-two-star-freed-star-four-by-yay So get a little young, a little young, a little young from strangers Give us those complaints while you literally white and die

Yelp! This is Yelp from Strangers, our segment where we turn to Yelp and read out our favorite And I... YELP! This is Yelp from Strangers, our segment where we turn to Yelp and read out our favorite 1, 2, 3, 4, and... 5! Star Reviews! Nailed it! I know. And the Yelp in public has some very interesting opinions on Twin Peaks.

They really do, and I'm gonna start us off... One Star Review With the most negative one that we found, a one star review, this is from Amy H. One year ago. Zero experience. First, we picked it because it's across the parking lot from the hotel we booked. No where on the website does it let guests know this is a hooters with even less tasteful outfits. Lies! That's the entire website.

It's a whole brand. It's really a porn site. Secondly, the bar was not one half full tonight, but service was Snailspace. I don't blame the waitress. It was kitchen staff and bartenders, which means terrible management. It was kitchen staff and bartenders, which means terrible management. And the near killer literally was as we were sitting outside, suddenly a TV went to full blast, nearly busting our eardrums out. And one of our party who has had a recent heart attack almost fell over in shock.

Wow. That's why their TV's had no volume. They've learned their lesson. They see that they're like, we don't want to be liable. No volume for anyone. I am not exaggerating. It was that loud. Everyone plugged their ears and was cringing. Okay. These mistakes, I guess, happen. But I asked to please speak to the manager and she never bothered to come outside and speak to us. What was that? I care.

Sorry, a little cough in my throat. A little something in your throat. So weird. This was also waiting 35 minutes for second round drinks, which we orders as dinner arrived and got well after the food had been eaten. Is she smegel?

Just the way she speaks. Yes. We orders this. Which we orders. Cruces. I would never go here. Well, you did. Yeah.

And I would be so frustrated if I had brought my kids here accidentally. How could they not mention these poor waitresses in underpants and bras and garters on the website? Oh, do you have eyes? Again, they do. That's the thing. Awful. And to the idiot who commenting saying Twin Peaks is obviously boobs, you're a sexist pig.

Why would anyone assume boobs unless they only see women as objects? Gross. The name is Twin Peaks. Yeah, maybe you expect boobs because that's the entire point of the branding of the restaurant. I'm not like condoning it one way or another, but it's so clearly that pun. And it's all over the doors like, if you're walking into this place and you step 10 feet in, you've gotten enough context clues. You can make your choice to be like, oh, maybe somewhere else.

I go to restaurants to see the women in the long skirts that go past their knees. Just like nuns. I mean, to be fair, I go to restaurants to rate them for the show when I think they'll be funny. I'm not a frequent term of restaurants. I'm not looking for the like, the breastiest restaurants. No. Once we find the perfect five points zero zero

That'll be our new mission to find the most the breastiest breaster on to America Five star review let's have an actual good review now sure five stars two months ago from DJ oh two months ago from DJ Oh, Bapapapoo. Bapoo. Megan, Megan, Megan. If you're ever at this establishment, always ask for Megan. She is absolutely perfect.

And it's the definition of a twin peak girl. Can you imagine walking in and be like, Megan, please? That just feels amazing. I'm gonna be the juggler. Oh my gosh. He didn't ask you to recommend it. I would just quit right there in there.

Right. If I was Megan. I didn't win combat for this. Always consistent with your drinks and food and whatever else you may need. Oh, wink wink. Nudge nudge. You said it. I always had a great time here, but when she served me

I felt I had a friend that would be there to take care of All-time no matter how busy it was and she got it done to a superb level. Is this guy trying to wife her? Mary me Megan. Yeah customer service was above and beyond take care of yourself Megan The customer service was above and beyond. Take care of yourself, Megan. When, why are you writing a sonnet for her? Yes. He loves her.

Because when life brings me back to Sacktown, I'll come by and visit again. And again. Oh, God. This is so cringy. It is. Megan. Megan, please. I know.

I've only known you a few months, but every time I come back to sacked it I always try and go to you Megan. I love you. I love you. I love you I love you proposed right here right now because I recommended everyone to you She's like how did you get to my front door? I'm calling the cops Plot twist this isn't a physical description of Megan. He's not like enamored with her looks. He's enamored with her combat ability. Oh yeah. Oh my gosh. My favorite fighter, Megan. Megan just looks great. Everyone's at us. Yeah. And that's what I'm into. You can go download our full

Yelp from Stranger's segment at our Patreon. The link for that is in the description of this episode or you can go to patreon.com slash find outing podcast. And we're now offering a one week free trial. So what do you have to lose? Go check it out. People have wild opinions and we get to read oh so many of them. Thanks. Final rating.

It is that time where we put all of this together into a cohesive score and check it up on the Chachki of mediocrity, see where it lands. I'm gonna go first. I thought this place was a scoosh above what I would call average. The woodsy-thaming really went a long way with me. I liked the ski lodge feel of this place. Our server, server solid the food Didn't really register, but I did I did like the desserts. I would come back here for that

I'm gonna go 6.04 Okay, a tiny bit outside that zone of mediocrity when you market your breast trant as the raunchiest Racial place in, that is exactly what I expect. Right. I'm not saying I want or don't want this, but it is what you expect. It is my expectation going in. The website has pictures of scantily clad women everywhere.

It's the lodge mentality. You're here for the scenic views. You walk in first thing you see. Boo. You see an article thing you see. Boo! You see an article saying it's okay to ogle boob. Yeah. But then that's about the limit of the race scene. That's where it stops, yeah.

Once you get into the restaurant, it's frankly tame. 3 p.m. on a Saturday. But hey, you've marketed a thing. If that's what you want to be, you should be it at all times. To me, it just seemed like an Applebee's with a bunch of TVs. It seemed like an Applebee's with hot pants. Yeah, and studded leather belts. Yeah, that was it.

There's really nothing excellent about that. So I will go 5.86. So the higher end of mediocre. Yeah. Sulti, I'm a spirit. It was pretty, pretty pretty pretty tubular Do you want to try again? Yeah I'm gonna go pretty mediocre with this the food was okay. It wasn't my favorite food

Service is great atmosphere. I love the cozy vibe 5.76 5.76 Okay, so we're all actually pretty close together on this one. And all of a said, this Brest era was a cozy comfortable place. Oh, yeah. It was. It was. Well, when we put all of our scores together, Twin Peaks goes up on the Chatchee of mediocrity, 5.89

1-100th above Bubba Gump's shrimp and you know what that feels right to me Just ever so slightly that feels right to me both restaurants ever so slightly, that feels right to me. Both restaurants were themed very strongly. Yeah. So we don't have a you must bull punishment for next time though. But we do have to figure out where we're gonna go next time. But Emma, last time we did the headline game with you, you thought it'd be funny, you thought it'd be cheeky, to send us to a restaurant.

Well, we did this restaurant with you as payback. We're not gonna give you the opportunity to get back at us. Yeah, you're just gonna send us to a strip club of fair, something. Yes. And we're not here for it, okay? You just ruined my life goals.

So we're not gonna do a headline game. We're not gonna play with you. Yeah, we don't want bare-bust-fire food. We're in our own sandbox and you're not invited. So no headline game this week. Instead, we're gonna do not one restaurant next time, not two restaurants next time, not three, not four, but five restaurants. As we kick off, the first annual September. That's right. We are doing an eight burger competition for the month of September and we're looking for the best stuff. Not the most mediocre this time. We'll be stacking eight chain restaurants against each other and each year we're going to do this.

We're going to do another September gear next year and then we'll put this year's winner against next year's winner and see what happens. Eventually it'll lead us to the best burger in all of chain restaurants. We're looking for mediocrity but we still know good. So next time we're going to give a retry to 5 restaurants we have already been to. Outback! Fudruckers. Islands.

Applebees. And Bob's Big Boy. We're very excited to bring you Septembergar. We are going to release weekly episodes again just for the month of September. Send us your thoughts if you have a favor burger at any of these places Please, we'd love to hear from you. Get involved. Tell us what your favorite burgers are and tell us which places should be on the bracket next year But in the meantime follow us on social media. We're on TikTok and Instagram at find dining podcast send us an email find dining podcast at Gmail.com and Emma, thanks so much for joining us.

You're welcome. It's always a blast to hang out with you, to go to restaurants with you. I know. To argue with you on air. It's perfect. It's my favorite thing. Aw, thank you for having me.

Of course. Well, we gotta keep looking. Join us for September-Gernext episode. In the meantime, the search does continue. We'll see you next time. Have a fine day. The search continues. We still need the perfect fine.

The search continues. Like and subscribe. The search continues. The search journey did not conclude. The mother and search continues Our journey did not conclude The mother and the search continues Rattles and I do's review And hey, while you're at it Why don't you go ahead and make it five stars?

I'm... G-man Follow us on TikTok The same on Instagram, the same on Instagram, all the socials at Find Dining Podcasts. We have a website, find DiningPodcast.com, buy our T-shirts, then put them on. And don't forget, you can always suggest where we go next. Okay, we're going to find it. Media crafting, the search continues See you next week

I heard my throat a little Have a fine day