Fine Dining - We Took a Teenager to Chuck E. Cheese's feat. Chris Hansen (To Catch a Predator; Predators I've Caught) & Emma Danger

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

The boys bring Michael's second cousin (once removed) Emma to Chuck E. Cheese and she makes them feel elderly Chris Hansen from "To Catch a Predator" and the "Predators I've Caught" podcast reviews Chuck E. Cheese's cheesy bread on behalf of Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita A passion for celery makes way for a Training Day-style Denzel monologue Brand new song "The Patreon Shuffle" is born Emma wins the Headline Game! What does that mean for next week's pick? JUB has a new best-selling item in stock Additional voices: Sean Burgos & Jon Capraro We're now on Patreon! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and more!   Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send us your Chuck E. Cheese stories at [e-mail].   Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast   Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!   Next time on Fine Dining: Hooter's! If you have ever worked for Hooter's and have a story to share, or if you’d like us to hear your child’s review of the Hooter's kids menu, send it to [e-mail].

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the Fine Dining Podcast, the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. Pause for the bird. I'm your host, Michael Ornelas. And I'm your host, Garrett Zwerke. And we're on a mission, Garrett. We're getting closer, I think. I feel like we are getting closer to that 5.00. We're getting a lot of fives.

We're trying to find the most mediocre restaurant. We're trying to give all of you a measuring stick so you know once and for all what restaurant is the definitive one that good is better than and bad is worse than. Because we want you to be able to say in as few words as possible. You know what? That's better than Bob's big boy. Yeah. It's a good restaurant.

It's not quite as good as Waffle House. Oh, okay. So it must not be good. Like, we want to find you that litmus test and we're closing in. And we are the experts from the Midwest that know. I am a Midwestern slash Tex-ern Westy boy. And I'm just a plain old Midwesty, Rusty boy. We are evaluating these restaurants based on three criteria.

Their atmosphere, their service and their food. We want to give a full up and down the menu, up and down the restaurant, up and down the whatever. Yeah. Up and down all around. Up and down the buffet. Yeah. We just want a thorough review of these places. This week, we decided to go to Chuck E. Cheese.

Charles Entertainment Cheese. And look, we know that we're two grown men. We know that we are two adults hopping on in to a child's playground. So we did not go alone and we know that is maybe inappropriate. So we brought with us my 13 year old second cousin once removed, but for all intents and purposes, I don't know. She's she's family. She's like a niece to me.

Emma Danger, you're here with us. I am. How was it? Did you enjoy going to Chuck E. Cheese with us? I thought it was pretty cool. I thought it was pretty cool. Definitely. There wasn't a play place, which may be very sad, but otherwise pretty cool.

Pretty cool. How'd you feel being the one reason that we did not get kicked out? We don't know that. We assume that I felt very, very amazing because I had so much power. You know, I walked by more than five feet away and bam. I'm like all of a sudden like security is we need you. We need you. Exactly.

I was reminded to keep close multiple times. Yeah, we we appreciated that. You got a little self conscious when we were left alone. You were our shield from danger. Danger is your middle name. Yeah. Anyways, Emma, thank you for joining us. Of course.

We'll go ahead and jump on into the episode here. But first, I do want to let you all know we now have a Patreon and you will get an exclusive episode every month. You'll you'll get, you know, random bonus content that we decide that we want to give you, but we're really putting a lot into these special episodes. So far, we've been to Rudy's, a gas station barbecue in Texas. Who would have thought that this was amazing barbecue? It was really cool.

You can hear all about that episode and we also got an exclusive sit down interview with the one and only job, the guy who sponsors our podcast. We got him to answer some questions, kind of, I don't know. We at least got him in a room and asked him some questions. I got him in a room and asked him questions. I got a call. Yeah, that was really weird. I don't know why you had to leave the second the job interview started.

You know, it was unfortunate. Maybe next time I'll catch him. Our table is ready. It sounds like so. Let's get on in there. I recommend the spaghetti. We're here to satisfy not to impress. Your table is ready.

Complimentary butter and bread. These walls have both signs. Knit, knack, cowboy hat, good luck hat, autographed guitar. Some crap from your city. Behold the trash key of mediocrity. Fine dining. It's just fine dining. Fine dining.

Two ledgers on the sign are shining. Nail flickering, irregular timing. Identify the perfect five. How the ten? Fine dining. Fine dining. First impressions. We walk into the place and.

I kind of get flustered again. This has happened a couple of times. It happened to me at Pizza Hut when we're looking at a wall full of menu options and we're, you know, we have to order right then and there. This is another fast casual restaurant. It is. I minded less because this was more in the vein of Gattie Town. I mean, it wasn't a buffet, but we kind of knew what we were signing up with.

I did still think we would have a server. I did. You ended up not being the case. I expected it to be like Pizza Hut where they just deliver our food to us after we order at the counter and it wasn't even that. It was like, hey, you need to go through this like secret alleyway and knock three times at the right pattern on this on a hidden door. And then a little man will like slide open and be like, what's the password?

And you go entertainment or something. You got to know what the E stands for. And then they slide you a coupon and you have to take that to like a bus stop. And then you get on the four line and I don't know where I'm going with this. It was difficult to get our food. Yeah, that long story short. We had to know exactly what we wanted once we got to that counter, which we should have done some research ahead of time.

I mean, we say that. I don't know. It's at the end of the day. I'm going off of the list that I found on Wikipedia that said list of casual dining restaurants and Chuck E. Cheese is on there. Pizza Hut was on there. So I'm going off of this ignorantly enough, assuming that to make the cut there that you're offering table service.

So again, didn't get it. I'm less mad about it because Chuck E. Cheese, we know what it's about. You know, it's it's it's there for. It's pizza. It's games. It's dancing mascots. Yeah. Yeah.

I missed the animatronics. Those were gone there. Yeah. So that's kind of one of the first things I noticed replaced Emma. You do you were not in trouble? Do you remember you said you've been to Chuck E. Cheese one time one time? I was when I was around probably three or four in Minnesota. Do you remember if they had like animatronics?

I think they did. I think they like a Kate like there was like a stage like in the back and it would be like this curtain. So occasionally like they would open the curtain so everyone could see the animatronics. But I don't think it was like always out in the open. Yeah. So they didn't have that here.

It was it was replaced by a big TV screen TV screen, which we'll talk more about the details of that when we get into the atmosphere. But you know, I'm just kind of going off first impressions. Also, there was no play scape. That's what really upset me. That was there is no place that was the biggest blow. I think because I I'm going to be honest. I was ready to have a good time.

Yeah, I don't care that I'm an adult. I was fully ready to touch either a dirty syringe or a dirty diaper in the ball pit and like me and a friend that I never do. You know, yeah. All the bodies at the bottom of even a clean syringe would be concerning in a Chuck E. Cheese. But you know, the dirty ones more practical. Yeah.

Practical population control. Why are we going into this on a review of a restaurant? Well, let's just, you know, let's get back on track here. So we walk inside. There's like a queue where like the rope is like dipping down. It's kind of sad. There's an abandoned dipping dots machine at the front. Like just like there to man it next to the empty

cotton candy machine that doesn't look like it works. Yeah. And then there's just a big sign that has all of the food options on there. And you know, we kind of take our time, decide like, all right, you know, what do we want to do with the game? There's another fun one. Oh, yeah. A sign that said where a kid can be a kid, but it was missing the second eye.

So they had to hang a snowman there. Yeah, it's like where a kid can be a K space D and they just put us like a long snowman there that kind of fills in. I'm like, once Christmas season is over, you're going to have to get real creative and either that or paint it. The girl behind the counter. She was cool. She was patient with us and we ended up getting an hour of games that start

from your first swipe. She said that it was a swipe, but you actually had to tap it. There was no swiping involved. Semantics police over here. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Either way, there were no tokens, which is kind of what I was getting at. There were no more tokens.

The arcade games are not even spitting out real tickets. They're just so sad. They're just going straight to your car. It's all digital at this point. It's gone the way of the Discman. Yes. Yeah, it's just like, oh man, do you remember your first Discman? Yeah, I remember listening to it on the bus and whatever, go over a speed bump.

My entire like song would skip. I remember my getting my first CD Discman. My parents got it to me. They gave it to me on our flight over to Hawaii. Oh, nice. So then like, oh, yeah, I'm good all the way to Hawaii with this new thing. I feel like we're just diving really heavy into nostalgia for this episode because it's Chuck E. Cheese.

It is. I mean, the smell. It smells just like Chuck E. Cheese always has. It's only the Chuck E. Cheese. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, as soon as you walk in, you just get a whiff of like childhood. Yeah.

You're like, yeah. Also, it was clean. Yeah. We helped this place in advance. And they were talking about how it's dirty and whole birthday party got some virus or something. So we were like, cool. This is what we have to look forward to. Emma, how strong is your stomach?

Yeah. That kind of thing where I was just like, hey, when's the last time you threw up? Don't answer that. I saw your eyes immediately go to like the wheels were turning. I don't need to know. You know, when you need to like, you place your order and then they're like, the thing will buzz and we'll let you know when your order's ready. The vibrator.

The vibrator. Not that kind. Not that kind. No. Emma, can you cover your ears? I don't know what else to call this thing. It vibrates. Yeah.

We have gone 18 episodes and not gotten one of these vibrators. And then, of course, you know, not that kind, not that kind of vibrator. And we go to a Chuck E. Cheese and they give us this old school thing. So it's like, oh, so you're, you're too new school to have animatronics and physical tickets and tokens. But you still, you're old school enough to still use a vibrator. Not that kind. Not that kind. Not that kind.

What are those things actually called? Like when she handed it to us, she didn't give a name to it. She's just like, I don't know. Take this. And like, we're supposed to know. Oh, maybe a buzzer. That would make sense. A buzzer.

I guess. But I've heard buzzers a thing like at the end of a quarter of a sports game. Yeah. And the buzzers tend to be more rectangular in shape. I've like the round ones. Yeah. I've never heard those called the name other than vibrator. Yeah.

But not that kind. Not that kind. And now a word from our totally not made up sponsor. Oh, hi there. It's your favorite sponsor job and I am back with a brand new business. Are you the type of restaurant who when you got a really long wait, you ask people to give you their number and you just send them a text when the table's ready. But you find that because your brand has sent through many promotional and marketing text messages.

They refuse to do so. Give them a vibrator. Not the kind you're thinking. Not the sexual kind. Don't turn this into a dirty thing. We're just talking about one of those little pager things that goes buzz, buzz, buzz when your table's ready. And then they bring it back to the front and no one judges them for anything sexual. The only thing that gets me off about this is you being able to let customers know that their table is ready.

It's just a good old fashioned vibrator. I've been getting calls and requests for these every day and I don't understand why. This is my best selling item. I just talked with the manufacturer and they said that our number one clients are restaurants that are behind the times and lonely house wise. I'm honored. I'm going to even open a box of these so I can put them on display. Wait, why is this penis shaped? God damn it.

But Tonya, you ordered the wrong thing again. Okay, gotta figure out a manufacturing error. I'll be back in no time. Don't place any orders of these. Don't do it. Gotta go. Okay, bye. All right, Garrett.

Hit us with some rusty fact roundup. Ducky cheese. It was founded in... I got it. I'm going to say Florida. Not Florida. It was founded in 1977 in San Jose by none other than the founder. California.

Yeah, like an original location. I suggested that. Yeah, we looked for it and I found no record. Oh, I suggested that. Why didn't I guess San Jose? I knew the answer. Yeah, every record of the original location was in the past tense. So it sounds like it closed.

Yeah. The reason this man started Tucky Cheese was for vertical sales integration of Atari coin operated machines. So like the arcade. Yeah, specifically. So it's like, man, I'm selling these arcade machines for like three, four, five thousand dollars a pop. Okay. But throughout their entire life, they're going to make 10, 15, 20 thousand dollars with coins. So, hmm, someone's making all the money here.

Mm-hmm. So he decided would be him. That's smart. That's smart. That's how he's smart. The mascot went through a number of species changes. Oh, so it wasn't originally a... Is he a rat or a mouse?

He's, I think he's... He is now a mouse. But originally the costume was purchased as a coyote. What? So the original name was going to be coyote pizza. Coyote pizza. That's so dry. Like compared to Chuck E. Cheese.

So he shipped the costume to his manufacturing team and they're like, hey, man, you bought us a rat. So he's like, oh, crap, I have a rat costume. So we're going to have to rebrand this. So it's going to be Rick Rats pizza. Rick Rats pizza? Yes. So that was another rebrand. It is.

But thankfully someone was like, hey, bad idea. We're not using that name. So that's where Chuck E. Cheese came from. But it was the same costume. It was still the same costume and it was still a rat. Chuck E. Cheese did not officially become a mouse until 2012. The animatronic band was originally conceived as a free attraction with the parents in mind. The kids are here to see the free theater show.

They're just some games they have to pay for. The selling point is free entertainment for your kids. Not pay for our arcade games. Gotcha. So he kind of like backdoored the arcade in their lead with the strong like, oh, you can see a bunch of robots perform, which and then the kids are going to want to play. But that is which in the late 70s, early 80s, that would have been really cool. That's smart.

Yeah. So fast. OK. Back then, Charles Entertainment Cheese used to be a cigar chomping rat from New Jersey. You know, I could I could see that. I could still see that. Just like wearing like a Hawaiian shirt that's like kind of flowy and open, got like a gold chain, throws toothpicks at the help.

He didn't fully lose his Jersey accent until the 2012 rebrand. Oh, when they got a new voice actor, the lead singer from Bowling for Soup, who is also a voice actor on Phineas and Ferb. But unfortunately, the former voice actor was fired because of this. And he found out about it when one of his fans sent him a new music video starring the new voice of Chuck E. Cheese. So he was just kind of ghosted? Yes.

Oh, that's for a while. There were two competing restaurants of the same style, including full on arcade with pizza and animatronic bands. And that's do you know what they were? It was called Showbiz Pizza Place. The animatronics for Showbiz Pizza Place were originally created for Chuck E. Cheese. Were they like cast offs like ones they ended up not using? The creator of these new animatronics and another investor eventually were like,

hey, you know what? We have the animatronics. We have the idea. Let's make our own. Huh? What were the like? Were they animals? Were they?

They were animals. They were just slightly different animals. There was a long legal battle where Showbiz Pizza Place ended up having to pay Chuck E. Cheese a great sum of money until Chuck E. Cheese eventually went bankrupt and they were purchased by Showbiz Pizza. Were they really? So now Showbiz Pizza owns Chuck E. Cheese. Oh, the tables have turned.

That's wild. And they changed all of their locations to Chuck E. Cheese. Well, that was this week's Rusty Facts Roundup. Atmosphere. Okay, so we have to walk by the prizes that you can win after playing at the arcade. We walk by like past the arcade, but one thing that I'm noticing about the layout is there wasn't a ton of seating. No, there was a lot of birthday seating.

It was one row of seating of like just booths up against kind of like the fountain drink area. You're like right across from that. And then in the back, there's like the birthday party section. And that's where we ended up sitting. There was a booth up against the wall. Now, there actually were parties. I didn't count how many there were. One.

There was just one? I think there was like. There were setups for more. There were setups for more. There were setups for at least like probably two or three. Because they did the segment. But only one showed up. They ended up, well, they ended up doing the like dance thing

where it was like featuring the birthday star or whatever. And I think I saw three kids on that at that time. It could have been like a communal birthday. Yeah. Now, the birthday area seemed to be like a little bit more decorated. There's balloons. They had cakes. And they got table service, too.

They got table service. So this actually is a casual dining, sit down service restaurant if you reserve for a birthday. So next time, Emma, can't it be your birthday? My birthday is in a month. You could have come back in a month and we would have been able to go. Happy early birthday. Yeah. Thank you.

So excited for you. I'm going to go to Chuck E. Cheese for my birthday just because of this podcast. You actually should. Just like thank your friends. You'll be so cool. So where are we going, Emma? Oh, well, we're going to go to Chuck E. Cheese. What I did notice about kind of the setup, the decor, it was all very crisp.

It seemed new-ish. Like they had little silhouettes with the names of the different characters. They had Jasper T. Jowls. They had... There was like a chef like Pomponi or something. Pasquale. Pasquale. There we go.

They had obviously Chuck E. Cheese. There was like a hen lady. There was like Henrietta the hen or something where she was like a singer. So we have Jeff Pasquale. Obviously, we have Charles Entertainment Cheese himself, Helen Hennie, Jasper T. Jowls and Mr. Munch. The way you said that could not have been more horrifying. The eyebrow raise.

Mr. Munch. Yeah. He's the one that kind of stands out because he's not based off of an animal. Well, I'm standing out for Jasper T. Jowls. He's my bias, as they say in the K-pop world. I learned that recently when you have your favorite member of the K-pop group. They're your bias. They're your bias.

So, you know, they had the silhouettes with all these characters on it, and then they had the screen playing videos of like puppet versions of them and like music videos. And I think you were, was it Disney stars? Were they all Disney stars? They were like kids-bop Disney stars. Like I recognize like one of them who was like Skye something from That's So Raven. Uh-huh. And they were all just kind of doing like dance and song numbers.

They were all just kind of like dancing to like, it was all holiday music. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is almost Christmas at the time we're recording this. I know it releases a little bit later, but for context, it was very Christmas heavy and that makes sense. I feel like there were a lot of partnerships. Barbie appeared on the Cardions later. CGI Barbie with Teeming with Kidbop.

My favorite one that they showed was just a random Dippin' Dots song ad with like a tween girl with a shirt that said feminist on it. I just think it's a very funny like statement for Chuck E. Cheese to have that so forward in a Dippin' Dots ad. I think there's only two clips in that commercial, but with actual Dippin' Dots. I think it was all just them dancing for most of it. And then there was like two clips of them just like eating Dippin' Dots. It seemed irrelevant for what they're actually pushing.

Yeah. Yeah, it was an interesting choice, but hey, these are how you target the tic-tac generation. That's what I called you. Tic-tac generation. Okay, that's not what I sound like. That's what you said. Look, the tic-tac generation. Yeah, we sound like old men.

Yep. We always check on the bathrooms. The bathrooms were also clean. These were some of the cleanest bathrooms we have gone to so far. And Yelp, again, let us down this expectation rabbit hole. Yeah, they said everything was filthy. Everyone got food poisoning. Yeah, like I feel like the only people who write Yelp reviews are the bitter or the bribed.

Yeah, I think there were definitely differences in the bathroom because I obviously don't know what the men's bathroom was like. I'm not going to go in the men's bathroom, but in the women's bathroom, it smelled sticky. It was all yellow. It was a bright, icky yellow and it was like stained yellow or like the actual. I guess a little bit of both and it was really weird. It was interesting. The floors were sticky.

Like you said, the floors were definitely sticky, but there were some suspicious stains on the walls. I don't ask questions, but I don't know. The men's bathroom got cleaned well. That or it's just mostly moms coming to Chuck E. Cheese, not too many dads. I don't know. My favorite mom that I saw at Chuck E. Cheese had a thug life shirt on. That was just just a black thug life shirt on. And I was just like, yeah, this is my Chuck E. Cheese wardrobe.

Although I guess my Chuck E. Cheese wardrobe wasn't much better. I'm wearing a hoodie that says existential dread red sweatpants that I just bought at a target that looks like a furniture cover and a blue cowboy hat. And you changed into those sweatpants in the car. We don't need to bring that up. I think we do need to bring that up. I think we do need to bring that up. Well, I mean, I had just bought them.

Where was I going to put them on? I'm not going to bathroom. Yeah, I don't know. It feels weirder to go into Chuck E. Cheese with a pair of spare pants. That feels like an admission of guilt. So I weighed my options and it seemed kicking you all out of the car and then changing was the better option. But you were in a public parking lot.

People were walking by nearby. We were nearby. I know and you knew what was happening. So you knew to look away. There was a family. There was, I think, like a mom and her kids. They were definitely walking by. Forever traumatized.

Oh, no. I would be traumatized if I were that. Are my legs that white? But, OK, listen, just think of it for a second. You're in the parking lot of a Chuck E. Cheese change. I get it. I get it. Look, I hear you.

Kids are in the vicinity. I hear you. And this is getting cut from the episode. You can talk about all you want, but I'm not putting incriminating evidence into an episode. We did get a lot of on-screen dancing from the cast of Chuck E. Cheese, but we also got some in-person dancing. We got the Yuletide slide.

Oh, yeah. Would you like to? It's stuck in your head. I doubt you remember the words. I was, I think it was like clap left, clap right. Like stomping the snow. Left stomping the snow is definitely in there. Like warm up your hands.

Like keep your hands warm. Then like cross them and spin around. Act like you're cold. Now spin. Yeah, it was like one of those like wedding dance songs that just. The lion dances. It just gives you instructions. My least favorite type of song.

Like are those songs where it's just like, here's a to-do list. All right, kids, you ready? No, no. I said, are you ready? Okay, now let's begin. Move to the right. The right back pocket of your dad. Now grab his wallet.

Bring it on here. Take out a five. Give it to me. And then subscribe. It's the Patreon shuffle. So put on a smile. Just give in and pledge. We're gonna make it worth your while.

We're just trying to make that brand. Go to mom. She's got a purse. Throw in some cash. 20 bucks won't hurt. Exclusive episodes. Discount codes. Download our songs.

Participate in polls. It's the Patreon shuffle. So give us your paper. But do it digitally. We promise our quality will never taper till a twenty, twenty three. Doorbell solo. No, no, no. Not that kind of doorbell.

The fancy kind of doorbell. Oh, yeah. You know, that's my jam. The kids were eating it up. They loved it. And then little mascot Chuck came out and he was kind of leading them in like birthday songs and Garrett, I know you and I are all about birthdays. When there's a birthday in the vicinity, you and I are singing happy birthday.

Oh, yeah. It's what we know. It's referenced in one of the songs from our Olive Garden musical. I'm forced to watch across the room. Your positivity is infectious. He's got the whole place singing happy birthday. Oh, my God. I want you in my section.

It's a thing about us, but in a Chuck E cheese, it feels weird. Weird. So like we kind of did it like in the distance where it's like, hey, we're in the air. You guys were yelling happy birthday. You guys were yelling. You were going, OK, I said innocuous. I said we were out of the way, which we were out of the way. We weren't like we were out of the way walking up to the kids.

Be like, hey, man, happy birthday. Pound it, you know, pound it. There just seemed to be like an appropriateness barrier that we were spending the whole time trying to make sure we weren't stepping over because I don't know. It's weird to like just I feel Chuck E. Cheese carries a stigma. And OK, it's the clientele is different than when we went to Gattie Town. It was a good mix of all ages. Now, I will say on the Chuck E. Cheese website, it says entertainment for kids and adults alike.

The website itself sounds like it is marketing itself to where it's like they want you in like your bros to just come play arcade games at Chuck E. Cheese. Now, once you walk through those doors, it is very clear that it is catered to children, but they serve alcohol. Yeah, there is beer and wine. Now, tell me, Garrett, is there maybe a reason why one near you where you grew up can't serve alcohol anymore? So the last Chuck E. Cheese I was at before this one, this was like 20 plus years ago

in Flint Township, Michigan. The reason this location stopped selling alcohol was because of an 80 person bro. 80 person. There could not have been more than 50 people in the entire establishment adults inside of a Chuck E. Cheese ever. Well, that are kids are joining the brawl. Just like little like teenage hands just throwing fists. Take that, Jimmy.

You stole my chocolate bar. Just punch them in the throat. So, okay, who is starting the round of toddler fights? Yeah, it's a YouTube channel. You just throw a little like plastic knife in the middle and you're just like, go fight for it. They're in an empty, inflated swimming pool. The winner gets 120 tickets. Imagine how much candy I can buy with that.

The amount of candy clearly means nothing because they just gave you. Can you are there's rappers? Did you eat all of those? Wow, you just pulled out pieces of candy that you won at the arcade out of your pocket and I thought you were going to just throw them around only to realize it is only rappers. You have so much candy. So you just made it rain with empty candy wrappers. Amazing.

I was going to cut this bit until that happened. Now that we're talking about it, it's back in. Yes. Look, I definitely got some. I got at least a handful. The exchange rate on candy clearly means nothing to them because when you're like, yeah, I'll get one candy. She just dumped her hand in like a claw machine and basically just threw it at you.

It's like, here, take it all. She was spilling them all over the place. She really reached in there and they were all spilling out and she was like grabbing all of them. She just threw them at me. She wanted to offload that or she was like, you seem cool. Yeah. And it's definitely not that second option. You know, I was about to offer you some candy, but now I rejected carrot.

Would you like some candy? Oh, thank you very much. Yes, of course. I don't want some. Well, it's the thought that counts, doesn't it? No. This looks really good. I know.

It's so delicious. Okay, calm down. My other favorite part of the guy in the Chuck E. Cheese costume walking to the back after the song and after like, you know, he comes out, greets kids, give some high fives. The really young kids like are in awe, you know, they give them hugs. It's sweet. There's music playing while he's doing it. And he's kind of just like shimmying his arms a little, almost like a chicken dance a little

bit. Not, you know, not quite full flap, but just kind of like the, hey, I'm swinging my arms in my walk. It's kind of like a Conor McGregor walk almost. He does it all the way to the back. Like it's just like you do not break character until you walk through those doors. But you can see we saw him walk through that door. Character drops.

My favorite part of it was there was a code on the door and he walked over, swinging his arms, entered the code while swinging the other arm and then push the thing open and walk through. And I was just like, that is such commitment. I was a fan of whoever was in the Charles E. Cheese suit. Okay, so we go out onto the floor, like the game floor after our meal. And now the real immersion in Chuck E. Cheese begins. We are now able to go around, play the game, scope stuff out.

We're no longer constrained to staying at our table. And one of the first things that Emma, can you leave the room? Can you just leave the room for a minute? I was there when this all happened. Can you? Okay. Okay. Okay.

That horse had an ass. Oh man, cakes for days. Cheeks for weeks. They had like one of those like you put a quarter in and like ride the horse little. That was, what do you even call that? We call that a thick booty pony. No, but I mean that ride, yeah. It was the most human backside I have ever seen on a horse.

It was so pervy looking. Pervy and curvy was this horse. I don't know what else to say. I don't know either. It was off-putting. I noticed it from across the room. I was like, that is an ass. And then I felt weird.

I felt really weird. I felt a kind of way about it. It was just an awkward way. Emma, you can come back in. I'm back. We were just talking about taxes and stuff. We just assumed you wouldn't care. I don't.

Yeah. Yeah. Now all the games kind of seemed sticky. I will say. A little bit, yeah. All of it was sticky. There was definitely an element of like, oh yeah, kids are playing these. Kids have sticky fingers.

I played Guitar Hero. I almost never played Guitar Hero. I did okay. You were good. You were good. You were really, really going at it. Yeah. I was a guitar on Expert and I did okay.

Now the other thing that I found funny is I saw at least four different games of Guitar Hero Start where someone just over clicked not knowing what they were doing and they played the first song on the list, which was Slow Ride on Easy. I heard Slow Ride just playing on an abandoned Guitar Hero machine that someone had walked away from like four or five times throughout the course of us just kind of going throughout the arcade. We had a number of competitions in these games. Yeah.

We played a bunch of games. Oh yeah. Garrett. Garrett got the money. Exploded with tickets. Oh yeah. Just because I got two jackpots. Oh, just because I got two jackpots.

We're just going to start calling you. We're just going to start calling you Jackpot's work. Yeah. That'll be your name. What were your two jackpots? They are Spinner Frenzy where you just spin this massive fidget spinner. Yeah. And you have to spin it at the proper RPM to land on a certain spot.

Yeah. It's not how fast you can do it. It's you have to get it exactly 500 RPM. If you get it at 505, you only get like four tickets. But if you get it at 500 exactly, you get 100 tickets. Also, Goal Line Rush where it's just a game where a metal pole pushes small footballs into a goal. Yeah.

Oh, sorry. And these videos will be posted to our social media. That's right. We're on Instagram at Find Dining Podcast. We're on TikTok at Find Dining Podcast and you can email us whatever you want. Find Dining Podcast at gmail.com. We might regret that, but I don't know, maybe we won't. You know, the game that I thought that I was going to get all the way to the end was Pop

Lock? Is that what it was? Yeah, that was Pop Lock. I was doing so well. It's like this little thing where it's literally like a combo lock where you're just spinning a thing back and forth or at least on the screen it's spinning and it kind of shows you stopping points and it gets faster and faster and you just have to click the button exactly when it hits those stopping points.

If you get to 50 back and forths without missing it, you get, I don't know, a jackpot bonus or something like that. And I got to 44. You were so confident. You were really, you were really, you were like 44 is really good for the first time playing the game. It was definitely good. I thought you like hated it at first and then you came and then you did hate it because

you're so mad. Well, because it also kept giving you the option to continue where you left off. Yeah. And you kept scanning. I kept scanning. Yeah. I did so many like points to do it because I thought that if I got to 50 even with a continued game that I would still get that jackpot and then when I did it was just like,

Cole, you got two tickets. I was like, oh. And Emma, didn't you consistently beat Michael in basketball? I did. I did consistently beat you in basketball. Yes. No. Yes.

I think we tied overall. We tied over. We played four times. We played five times. I'm pretty sure I won twice and you won twice. I saw her win three times. Yeah. I definitely won.

You're also lying to make it look like I lost to a 13 year old girl. Because you did. Yeah, but you have like nimble kid hands. Did you record all of our games? Yes. Are you going, are you going to the tape? I'm going to the tape right now. Oh my God.

Okay. Here is a Michael win. Okay. 29. Oh, wait. No. This one didn't record. Okay.

Also didn't get the end of this one. I consistently won Ski Ball. Yes. Yeah. We did two games, I think. Like two or three games. Two or three. I got destroyed in Centipede.

I was very bad. There was like kind of this like cool modern take on Centipede where all three of us are kind of playing at once. Garrett, you got. Yeah. You were really, you were really going for it. You were the good. I was out so fast.

There was like a water gun race where there's like a target in the middle and you're spraying water at it and whoever fills up the column. Yeah. We just found that gun number two wins every time. That's why I was going to go number two. Yeah. So Emma, you won the first two and then later I was like, you know what? I want the seat.

And the first round I knew something was slightly off, but I just took the win. You think I didn't notice the same time. The fact that you kept hitting me and the fact that I kept missing hitting her, I was shoving her arm lightly to throw her aim off. There we go. And, and like the fact that like I gave you, like I had that it was off aim for a while and like I had to like get it back up. Then I knew that something was definitely weird about it and it wasn't, it wasn't confirmed

until the third game where you took my spot. Well, because it also had like a recording. It was like, player two. Congrats. I was like, I wonder if they just recorded that one. I also played deal or no deal. They have like this thing where like it shuffles up all the briefcases and you can kind of win tickets based on if you, you know, follow.

You basically play the game, but there's tickets inside of the briefcases. The version of this that I had played before had up to 400 tickets on the line at best. You could win 25 tickets from this one. And it just felt really lame when I got to the end of it. I was like, oh, yeah. So it felt like it kind of took me on a ride. I ended up winning six tickets overall. Oh, good job, Michael wasn't shot up.

They had a jump rope game kind of like a digital jump rope. You were so confident in yourself. It was like a light that goes around. So it's like you're on a pad instead of like a, you don't have a real jump rope. It's just a light and it's like just stand and let this light go under you at, you know, for a certain interval of its rotation. We're trying to beat the system. You're trying to like get off the pad and don't like do all that.

Why are you whispering? Talk. I'm talking. Would you prefer me to to yell? Yeah. Yeah. And then lastly, the one that I remember playing was hop block. Oh, yeah, we all did that.

That's another one that you were super confident. I was confident because there's a game I know that's very similar to it. And I assumed it would be the same. I've seen one where it's just like the blocks come in from the side and you have to stop them to keep them on the platform. I'll get like that. They have that version of Dave and Buster. So yeah, yeah, yeah.

So this had like a little guy that jumps up and has to land on the platform to stop it. And it was just kind of a weird variant of that other game that I just didn't know what to expect. So like the very first turn I just got like knocked off the block. I was like, oh, I didn't even know what I was doing. It was kind of unclear because there was like a delay on the jump button input. Yeah.

And then Emma did it and you did pretty well. I did. I did like for the first time. It was it was it was average and then Garrett having all of that information and being like able to really scout things out before trying it also died on the first block. I just failed hard constantly. And you can see some of these games on our social media.

So go on over to our tic-tac and Instagram. Tic-tac. Tic-tac. Tic-tac. Tic-tac. Now, not only can you follow us on social media, you can buy our merchandise. We have a few really cool t-shirts on our website. Find Dining Podcast dot com slash shop.

Every shirt you buy really helps us out. We've got several offerings for you. We've got our fine dining logo in like kind of the breast pocket size. We've got one that's kind of like a full front logo. We have our title track of our musical. Yeah. Perfectly adequate. We have our fine dining Olive Garden parody shirt.

It's basically our logo, but it looks like the Olive Garden logo. Also our watch out Pizza Hut shirt. Yeah. If you listen to our Pizza Hut episode, it kind of just makes fun of how many car crashes have plummeted through the walls of a Pizza Hut. And lastly, we've got Juicy He's My Son, my pineapple son from episode three. If you go listen to the Old Spaghetti Factory episode, you can hear all about the pineapple son version of myself that I had to bring as part of our You Must Pull.

Another awesome shirt. We've got two versions of Juicy. You can get an embroidered version that's kind of like a more straightforward one. And then you can kind of get like a more fun like finger guns, almost like anime version looking shirt that says He's My Son. So go on over to our website. That's finediningpodcast.com. Go to that merch tab.

We'd really appreciate it. Please do it. It buys us food. It buys Garrett and me food. We've done the dining part of our atmosphere. We've done the gaming part of our atmosphere. But before we move on to rating it, there's one little detail that I noticed that I want to talk about.

What's that? There was a guy who was kind of like a scavenger of arcade games. Did you see him? I saw this guy. He didn't play a single game. Well, he didn't pay for it. He didn't pay. Yeah, like the basketball game, we would play that and like the timer would run out

and sometimes there would be like some balls left over at the bottom. And he always like swooped in and would like shoot the last few balls. Like he would just go around to all the games that were unfinished. There were some unfinished ski ball games. He finished those. He finished the water gun once, which is wild because it's like who's who's leaving a ski ball out on. I mean, someone whose score might have been just so bad, but it just leads to

the question what's going on over there? Garrett, what is going on over there? I think this man is a gaming empath. He is seen. What do you mean? This man has seen Toy Story way too many times and he feels bad for any of these lonely games that are unfinished. Yeah, this guy's just like walking around like, oh, no, no, no.

You have value. Like he's just like trying to validate the games. I'll complete your life. And by doing that, you will complete mine. He doesn't get any tickets out of this. Somebody else paid for all the games that he's playing. He's doing this for the love of the game. Yes, literally the love of the gaming device.

Like it's all just out of the goodness of his heart. Like what else is he getting out of this? That's so he's not employed by them. He's not an employee of Chuck E. Cheese. I didn't notice if he was here with anybody. I think I saw him like when we were leaving basketball. He was definitely with a kid. Okay.

That's so much better than a person who just shows up to finish games. I don't know if they were together. If he was like the kid was wandering around. If they were both wandering around. He was just like, hey kid, you got any games you haven't finished yet? Definitely because I think they look pretty close. I think they were definitely playing basketball together. So either they just like it was just like kind of random coincidence becoming friends

type of thing or they were actually like, you know, they were lost souls finishing a game of basketball together. Hey, you want me to take lap three of hydro thunder? Yeah, I think that's what was going on over there. All things considered. We got to get our thumbs out and either hold them up down or right in the middle. Which direction are we going? What are you thinking, Garrett?

This was an immaculate building. It was well lit. The games were entertaining. The people around us were entertaining. I had fun. I had fun. Yeah, I mean, it was definitely fun. I'm going to give this a strong one thumb up.

I will agree with you. I'm giving it one thumb up. It wasn't like, you know, the top atmosphere. It's not even close to the top atmosphere, but it earned the realm of positivity. It earned, yeah, it's pretty good. Like it got that out of me. Yeah, it's above average. It's above average.

I think it definitely could have been better. It wasn't the worst. What didn't it offer you that you wanted? Probably just like little details like how like birthday people just like got way more and like the screens and no animatronics. Just like the Chuck E. Cheese Classism really took a toll on you. The haves and the have nots. Yeah, it was definitely entertaining though. Okay, so where are you writing it then with their thumbs?

Half a thumb to a full thumb. Half a thumb to a full thumb? Yeah. That's not how thumbs work. Make a choice. No thumbs or one thumb? One thumb. I'll give it one thumb.

You'll give it one thumb. Okay, got one thumb up. All right. Service. As we established, this was another kind of fast casual place. You know, we didn't get service. We didn't, or at least us the proletariat did not get service. We didn't get service, but birthday people did.

Yeah. It wasn't super involved service, but they did have employees constantly coming by checking on them, see if they needed anything. I didn't see any of the people in the birthday parties having to go over to the pickup window in that vortex of winding hallway next to the soda machine to pick anything up. Everything was brought out to them. Meanwhile, I had to go pick up our food when the vibrator, not that kind, went off and I went back through this area and there was a lady there right behind. It was kind of one of those things where they put your food up on a rack and so you go and you grab your food off the rack. There was no, hey, let me check your ticket. There was no, hey, let me take your vibrator, not that kind.

The thing was still going off. It was still buzzing. It didn't stop at any point. I didn't hand it to anyone. So I just set it up on this metal counter and it's just like the loudest, most obnoxious sound you can imagine while two full large trays and a little like French fry container full of multicolored churros and Garrett's refusing to lend a hand. Emma's nowhere to be found. And I'm just like, I don't have three arms and the employee on the other side of this metal counter just mere feet from me refuses to look up and won't make eye contact with me. And I'm just like struggling to be like, ah, pizza tray, appetizer tray, churros somewhere.

Yeah, but you seem to forget how am I supposed to film a video for TikTok if I'm helping you? That's, you know, you're asking the real journalistic questions for the record. I was there. I just chose Garrett's side. OK, you chose to watch him film for TikTok because that needs a full person to do. She helped frame the shot. Exactly. She has no artistic integrity whatsoever.

Excuse me. I might be going to a school of the arts for high school. So yeah, I didn't know that. Ha, you learned something new every day. Then you'll learn how to help Garrett frame a shot. But for now, you didn't do shit. So yeah, so I'm like struggling to take it back. Meanwhile, yeah, we're watching the 1% of the 1% who can afford to have a birthday party here.

Getting like service where like the person brings a pizza out and gets down on one knee and presents it to them as they get knighted. They had that's how it felt. They even had cake served to them. Yeah. They didn't even give us an option to purchase a cake. I don't like not getting service. It is kind of the structure here, but just kind of on principle, you know, my rating for it's not going to be very high. That doesn't mean anyone was like people were nice.

The lady behind the counter when we checked in, the very patient, very cool. The ticket lady. Oh, they're the same person. I don't pay attention to things. She just walked around a corner. Oh, OK. But well, she was awesome again. Yeah.

Whoever was inside of the Chuck E. Cheese suit with his chicken arms and like he was strutting his mousy stuff strutting his mousy stuff as as the as the expression goes. Yes. Strutting his mousy stuff. There was a job interview. OK, the job interview started at five twenty. Yeah, it's kind of a weird time. I mean, it may have been like, I don't know, it might be an after school job. So he had to like get off of school and then but it was still a after five o'clock job interview.

Yeah, but it's a restaurant that they'll have management there. Yeah. This isn't a nine to five. No one's going to their desk job at Chuck E. Cheese. Even with restaurants like I'm used to the GM or at least someone that has powered a higher working traditional nine to five still. Yeah. No, I get you. But this wasn't that long after it probably by about twenty minutes.

But there was a weird series of. There was a very peculiar series of events. They're getting interviewed. And then one thing we didn't mention in the atmosphere, you know, those money machines where they like blow all over the place and you go inside the little two box and you grab as much as you can. It's a cash tornado. They had a ticket equivalent of that. A ticket tornado.

And, you know, it would go off randomly. And so we're looking over at this job interview and the ticket tornado goes off right next to us. We look at it and then we look back and the interviewer and the interviewer are both missing. And it seemed like a diversion or something. And then within two minutes was the first appearance of Chuck E. Cheese in the costume. And I don't know, Emma, you seem to have a very creative theory as to what happened. I do. So it was it was definitely.

Like kind of maybe Chuck E. Cheese is secretly like a mafia or something, you know, just here. Here we are. Where is this coming from? Just here we are. Okay. So they're doing the interview, right? They're talking. They're doing their interview.

Quote unquote. And they realize they're being watched by us. They realize they're being watched by, you know, two middle-aged men and a 13-year-old girl. I hate the way you phrase that. God, we're middle-aged. Wait, is that what you said? Yes. Woof.

Oh my God. I'm young. Okay. We're we are officially almost late 30s. Are you older than Google? Yeah. Oh God, yes. You're older than Google.

I'm over 10 years older than Google. Anyways, your theory. My theory. Okay, they realize they're being watched. Uh-huh. And, you know, they set off their weird scheme and they, you know. The ticket tornado? Yes, the ticket tornado goes off.

They have like a trap door or something underneath the table that they were at. Elaborate? Yeah, yeah. Practical. They like drop down and then like the interviewee is like strapped down or like something like they're tied like they can't move. Okay. Uh-huh.

Like whether like they're being like strangled or like something. What do they teach you in school? Do you really want to answer that question? Um, you know, they're being like tied down. Like it's dark, the dark room, you know, like that one spotlight, you know. I'm like. Fucking interrogation scene. Yes, that's that thing.

And the interview where, you know, like almost sounds like a suit on or something, you know, like gun to head, like get in the costume right now. But it smells like cheese. It smells like sweat. Like it smells really bad. Like please don't make me go in there. Get in the suit. You want to get this job?

You got to get in the suit. You got to do sacrifices. You know, you got to do sacrifices. I'm going to be killing kids now. So, so, so they're being threatened heavily. You know, maybe there's like guards all over the room. You know, can you get in the costume? You got to be checking cheese.

They're going to, they're going to hug you. And you got to flap your arms. Yeah, you got to flap your arms. You really got to get into character. The whole time and take it back to the door. If I see you break character one time, they're going to, you're going to be fired. You're going to be killed. You know, it's, you know, I have your paper right here.

I have all the info I need. You're going to get in that goddamn costume. You're going to go out there. You're going to high five kids. You're going to hug kids. You're going to take pictures. It's going to be great. You're going to do it.

Got it. And then you're just like, oh no, like I don't want to die. Like I don't want to die. I'm just like, oh, go in the costume. Go in the costume. You know, they go into the costume. It's only been seconds at that point. It's only been literally.

Yeah, yeah. They just fell through the hole. Yeah. They just do the whole thing. The ticket tornado is still going. It's still going. We're still in like. The trap door is still swinging.

We're still like slow motion turning around to see what's going on over there. It's been a matter of seconds. You know, we're turning around. Coincidentally, Chuck E. Cheese walks out the other door, probably tears streaking down the face under the mask. You can't see under the mask. You can't see, you know, probably like. It's tear stained inside the mask.

Hey, at least it didn't smell like cheese after that. You know, like the, what are they called? Like the caught like. I don't know what you're talking about. So I can't tell you. You know, the managers communicating to the person, your piece, you know, you're going to hug them. No matter how uncomfortable it gets, no matter how hard you cry, you're going to hug them

otherwise, you know, I have your family or I have your address. I have everything, you know, we actually got a picture with Chuck E. Cheese and I didn't catch any of that. So I think you're wildly off base with this. I think what happened was the interview ended the ticket machine went off. We got distracted. They went their separate ways. But what happened in between those events?

We just looked away. So not kidnapping and murder. Yeah, probably not kidnapping murder and forced labor. We don't have proof that that didn't happen. That are you a flat earth or do you just follow any conspiracy thread? Anything can be possible is what I'm trying to get on with here. Oh my God. This is the more, you know, the future of, you know, maybe, maybe why the service was

so bad is maybe they were forced that maybe there was like one wrong move. They get detonated. Bam, they're done for, you know, have you ever thought about that? Maybe that's why there was zero service. Maybe they were so scared of messing up with the one lady was like, I'm not going to look at you to help you with your pizza. If I look at you, maybe they slipped a note in the pizza or somewhere and you guys just notice it and just throw it away.

Yeah, maybe we are responsible for the atrocities saved this man's life. That's not what happened. Chuck E. Cheese could be bad. We don't know that. We hasn't been proven that they treat the bubble. Actually, that's lie. But you know what I will say was bad. Just the lack of service and seeing the birthday party people getting that extra attention.

So I'm going to give, I was going to go two thumbs down, but all things considered, the people were nice. Our picture with Chuck E. Cheese is actually very fun. You and I, you know, when I was like, would you mind if she takes a picture? And I think he assumed that I meant that she wanted a picture with him. I handed you my phone and you took the picture of me and Garrett with Chuck E. Cheese. And then Chuck E. Cheese gave us a fist bump. I could like sense that he was like very confused about the situation.

You can smell his fear. I can smell it. And the tears through the mask. They were confusion tears though. Very, very confused. But yeah, all those things considered more just due to the structure of how the restaurant presents itself. One thumb down on service for me.

Same thing. One thumb down. People we encountered were friendly, so I'm not going to go two thumbs down. I'm going to go just like in the middle, whatever that's called. Zero thumbs. No thumbs. There we go. I mean, they were, they were definitely nice.

Obviously the service wasn't the best, but they kind of cancel each other out. Like in fact, she gave me way more candy than I asked for. They were just like patient and whatever. I think they were definitely, I think they cancel each other out. So I'm going to go with no thumbs. Thank you for letting us talk about our time at Chuck E. Cheese. I worked there for five plus years. I worked there for two years.

Best two years of your life. I wrote in my vows that I almost broke up with him because he got me the job at Chuck E. Cheese and I'll never forgive him for that. I had a great experience there. Beck obviously had a questionable one. I was a tech. I fixed the arcade game, so I was able to kind of escape the children. Fun fact, if you're a tech and you need to escape children, you can always hide behind

the SkiBall game. Don't tell people that. Chuck E. Suit. Gross. Gross is an understatement. They had a bottle of Lysol and you're supposed to spray it down every time you take it off. No one did it. It got dry cleaned like once a month.

Yeah. No, the Chuck E. Suit, I mean, it gets abused inside and out. Definitely kind of like a low on the totem pole kind of part of the job. So everyone has to do it though. I guess if you're like too fat, you can't fit in the suit maybe. That never happened. I never saw that happen. I always liked how like Chuck E. would vary in height.

Like we had one co-worker who was like legit like five feet tall. Teeny tiny. Little guy. Loved doing Chuck E. Super energetic. Yeah. That was energetic. You knew the difference between him in the Chuck E. Suit and anyone else because he'd

go around dancing. Yeah. Anyone else doing Chuck E. was bare minimum. Yeah. So I mean like yeah, and Chuck E. is supposed to come out like every 30 minutes an hour or so. So you never know what kind of Chuck E. you'd get. And when you're in the Chuck E. Suit, kids think they can do whatever the fuck they

want to. They can step on your feet. They can pull your shirt. There's a reason Chuck E. doesn't have a tail. It would be gone within a few weeks. Yeah. Saturday is a Chuck E. cheese. We'll prepare you for anything.

I worked a different job after and they're like, ooh, wait for Saturday. It's super crazy. I'm like, oh honey, you have no idea. Oh, it's crazy. The second you walk into your shift, it's game time. You never want to look at pizza ever again. Every kid needs to come in with an adult. Obviously there's got to be someone in charge of them.

And vice versa. No kid can leave without an adult. So every once in a while, and there's definitely one little girl that just sticks in my mind. She was just attempting to flee Chuck E. cheese. I don't know for what reason she just wanted to leave the store. And we couldn't let her because her parents weren't with her. And it got to the point where the girl literally actually made it out the door. And my manager has to go chase after her.

And the girl made it like across the parking lot to like the grocery store. And I mean, just the most awkward thing. Like, I mean, they can't parent got mad at our manager for running after the child. Yeah. I mean, but it's like, what are you going to make that make sense? You can't get paid easy parking lot. That parking lot is a nightmare. So imagine your child is running.

Okay, fine. I'll let her go. Go for it. You'd be cleaning the store at like 11 p.m. Midnight and there just be 40s under the tables under the booth. People like to party at Chuck E. cheese. But now that I'm this age, I totally get it. I could not be there without being inebriated.

There was definitely some employees, like especially like the game attendance of those dudes were stoned like all day. They come back from their break. You know what they were doing. There was one dude that straight up looked like Wiz Khalifa and he would smoke every time he went on break. He would tell me that he'd like go to test like an arcade game and he'd end up playing it for like an hour. I mean, live in the dream. Another aspect was the families that were like regulars. There was this one family that would come in all the time and you can tell like they were just odd.

This one girl would steal the basketballs from one of the basketball hoop games and she would just go around the entire store just bouncing the ball everywhere. No matter how many times we told the parents or her that that's not okay. You need to like keep it with the game. It didn't matter. They own that place. If you're a regular out of Chuck E. cheese, life isn't going in your direction. There was definitely some not so great people there that got into fights with our managers. This one manager, she like almost got in like a fist fight with one of these families because they were just trying to get what they wanted.

I mean, just the level of services people must require. But you know, if you don't meet that, you know, they're ready to throw hands. There was one really, really a decent sized man that fell through a booth one time. He was sitting in the seat and it broke and we had to call a fire department to get him out of it. That was interesting. Clean the bathrooms too every night. That was one of the worst jobs. It was good because you got to kind of like be away and like hide in there and like just clean really slowly.

So you didn't have to help anyone else. But then you find pregnancy tests in the trash cans and hope that they're doing OK. There's always rumors about Chuck E. cheese food. They're like, it's not fresh and they reuse their pizza. But honestly, I mean, the only thing that weirded me out was like eggs in a bag, but I'm pretty sure that's pretty normal. And like potato salad in like a milk carton that you'd like open up. Yeah, you can buy those at like Smart & Final. But we cut all our lettuce.

They made the dough fresh. I've made cheese there before. I made cheese. I shredded cheese. One of the main things that really drove me out the wall is every time they changed. What would you call that? Well, they called it the Chuck E. show. Yeah, the show.

It's a video that would project on the screen and they got the characters, you know, they do their little skits. They sing songs. But it repeated probably every 30 minutes. Every 30 minutes. And you work, you know, an eight hour shift. You heard that 16 times. You knew it by heart by the end of it. You knew every song, every, oh my God, you'd come home and sing it.

And it was everywhere. They were covers. They weren't like them. It was covers. And then they changed like a few of the lyrics to like be about pizza or like be about Chuck E. Hearing like Carly Rae Jeffsons, I really like you on a loop for eight hours. 16 times a day. I think it's really helped me like learn how to tune out annoying sounds.

Definitely to the public. Chuck E. cheese. You know, you got the hardest workers there. Be nice to them. They're young and they're being worked to the bone. Yeah. No, it is a thankless job, but you know, someone's got to do it. So thank them.

So yeah. No, go go support Chuck E. cheese. Hey, you know what? Good job. That dancing you just did at that party. Great air guitar, dude. Enjoy the experience. Have fun.

Thanks for including us. Thanks. Have a great day. Our food experience for all of us was the same. Yeah. We all had the same food. We ordered a pepperoni and bacon pizza. We got sweet chili boneless wings.

Oh my gosh. French fries, celery, cheesy garlic bread and unicorn churros. Yeah. Which are multicolored flavored churros. We're not going to start there though, because that makes no sense. Why would you start with dessert? Why would you not? That's crazy.

That's like what people do on the Santa Monica pier. You know what? Let's start with dessert. The unicorn churros were very surprisingly good. They were. I guess I've been burned by many a stale churro that it's almost my expectation that a churro will be stale, not my, you know, it's not like the exception when it's stale. So I'm always surprised by a well-textured good bite of churro.

Yeah. I probably waited a little bit too long in the meal to eat these. They weren't as warm as I would have liked. It didn't affect the rating, but I would have liked them more probably if they were still warm. Now the flavors, so I tried the blue raspberry and the green apple, both of which were awesome. They were very tasty. I had apple at eight out of 10, blue raspberry just behind it, seven and a half out of 10. But how do I describe it?

I mean, it was still very much churro. Like how would you describe the like fruity sprinkling on it? It wasn't like fun dip or anything like that. It wasn't fun dip. It was almost like sour patch. Kind of that dust that you'd find on or the sour straws or something like that. It wasn't a sour powder. It wasn't a sour flavor.

It was colored too. So it was like almost just like powdered candy or something to put on it. But it worked. It was good. Yeah. And I agree almost 100% on that. I have had the blue raspberry and the strawberry churros. Yeah.

They stayed crunchy on the outside even after our meal. So that's a good thing for them. They still stayed moist and a little bit warm by the time we got to them. And there was a really strong sugar coating. It wasn't just the flavored sugar. And it was a good thing. It wasn't like, oh, this is, you know, this is overdoing it. Added flavor.

So I'm just going to go 7.5 for those churros. Those are great. Do you have a thought on those? You had the strawberry one, right? I had the strawberry one. I think that was the only one I had. I don't remember. But it was definitely good.

I agree that there was definitely like an extra sugar coating in a way. I don't really know what the flavor really was made out of. It was like candy. Yeah. Yeah. It was like a candied churro. Yeah. But it wasn't like overwhelming.

Like they just sprinkled crushed up. It blended really well. Yeah. Do you have a, do you have a score? I'm going to give it a solid like eight out of 10. Eight out of 10. Okay. Good churros.

So now we'll go to the openers, the platter, sweet chili boneless wings. They were very sticky. They were, I'm going to sound like you, Garrett. They seemed like they were taken from a frozen bag and just dumped into a heating mechanism. But like it didn't even seem like it was deep fried. Like it didn't have that satisfying crisp to it at all. It was like a little bit soggy. I got an oven baked vibe from them.

Yeah. But like again, it didn't have the, I'm going to say dryness, but I mean dryness in a good way, like a way that gives it a crisp. It didn't have that. There was just something lacking about it that really underwhelmed the sauce, the sweet chili flavoring was good, but that's about all it had to offer texturally and just the quality of the chicken wasn't cutting it for me. Four and a half out of 10.

It was a three and a half. And then I took a, I ate a second one and it tasted a little bit better, but still, yeah, four and a half out of 10. Not great, but definitely below average. The ones I got at least were crispy. So I liked that. They were a little dry on the inside for my liking. There was just a minuscule amount of heat to this viscous sauce.

Yes. Heat in terms of spice. Just a little bit of spice, not too much. It almost didn't register in any way on the spice scale for me, but I noticed that it existed and it tasted good. So I think these are still a six out of 10 wing. Okay. I don't agree with you, but you're welcome to have that opinion.

Emma. I despised every bit of this. Me personally. I hated them. The wing? I took one bite and I dropped it. I respect your guys' opinion, but I could not do it. Just the way it looked, the way it was like, it looked like slime was coming out of it.

Like watermelon slime. It looked like it was sweating the sauce. Yeah. It was like dripping. It was weird. It was like, yeah, it was definitely like sweating the sauce and it looked weird. It didn't like the smell, like the taste. I just, I hated the texture.

I hated everything. Like just me personally. Two out of 10. Two out of 10. I'm closer to your opinion than yours, Garrett. Like I thought that the sauce salvaged it a little bit. Yeah. And if I hadn't had that second wing, I might have gone as low as three.

Wow. My first bite was bad. So it sounds like you definitely got a bite from the part of the batch that I did. Maybe I got a good bite. Then we had the french fries and now it's my turn to hate on something. I love french fries. I don't think that's a bold statement to make. I feel like a lot of people love french fries.

That's why they're probably the most common side item. This tasted like a not even fully cooked potato. Textureally, there wasn't a problem, but just the taste of like, oh, this wasn't done yet. It was chalky in taste and soggy in texture. Not a good mix. Maybe one of the worst fries I've ever had. Zero out of 10. Wow.

Zero out of 10. I first hated these fries. And you know what? The amount of hatred I have for these fries I'm giving this week's This Is Way Too Much Award. Fuck these fries. I hate these fries. These are so bad. And it worked me up way too much.

I don't have much to say after that. Other than, well, they reminded me of in and out fries that are undercooked and thicker. Three out of 10. Gross fries. That's so generous. It's a fried potato. It's not that hard to mess up. It seems like they actively tried to make a bad fry.

I definitely agree with both of you on both sides. I think those that like... Boy has taken a pin. I know. I think that like the inside was definitely undercooked, but the outside I think was overcooked. There were burn marks. There were definitely burn marks. I could like smell them from a distance, like how they were burned and it was not my favorite.

The sauces helped a little bit, but it wasn't the best. I'm going to give it a two out of 10. Two out of 10. Chuck E. Cheese not shining through culinarily yet other than those churros, but now we're getting to the good stuff. Oh, that great, great stuff. You know what I'm talking about. That's celery.

That's celery. No. Go back to the celery. I'm kidding. The celery is best. The celery was good. The celery was great. The celery was great.

The celery was average as hell. It was a five out of 10 celery. That was... I don't want to like, you know... What? Go for it. Tell him he's wrong. Those were possibly one of the best pieces of celery I've ever had.

Why are you talking like you're monologuing as like Denzel Washington? Because maybe I am Denzel Washington. You're not. Okay, that was your... Okay, what did you have a training day monologue to get into the next school? Okay, performing arts school. Denzel Washington monologue. I don't want to go down this rabbit hole.

You motherfuckers. Okay. Alright. I'm taking tickets for all you bitches. You think you can do this shit to me? You motherfuckers will be stocking the salad bar at Gaddy Town when I get finished with you. Translucent melon bitch.

Pudding that tastes like shoes. I'm the mouse up in this piece. You'll never get that sweet ass celery. Who the fuck do you think you're fucking with? I'm the big cheese. I run shit here. You just work here. Yeah.

That's right. You better you tie it slide away. Chuck E. Shuffle the fuck out of here. Because I'm getting that motherfucking celery. That's right. That's right. I'm fucking eating all of it. I'm eating it all.

I'm gonna eat it with everything. Ranch, blue cheese. I can't lose. Yeah. You could shoot me. But I am the celery. What a fucking day. What a motherfucking day.

Point is they were crunchy. They was a great flavor. They were shiny. It looked like advertisement celery. They were amazing. Yeah, aesthetically they were great. But it's celery. Celery is just not a 10 out of 10 food.

They were above average. I don't like celery, but those are really good. Look, good celery is a 5 out of 10. 9 out of 10. 9 out of 10. 9 out of 10 is a food. I'm not talking about it. Celery is amazing.

Look. Okay. So she gave a 9 out of 10. You think the celery was better than the churro? The celery was better? No. Well, you gave the churro an 8 out of 10. I think no.

I think the celery was better. You're giving it on a celery scale. The celery. I'm not a fan. You don't think that. That's a crazy opinion. I know. You're a 13-year-old.

You don't think celery is better than a churro? I usually don't. Usually I would definitely side with a churro, but I don't know. Just something about the celery. I don't know if it was laced with drugs or something, but there was something up with the celery. You know, this was going to be a throwaway gag about the celery, and we moved on, and we have mind gold from it.

So thank you. Yes. Did you try the celery? No. Celery's trash. You guys are canceled. Pizza. Wow.

The star of the show of Chuck E. Cheese. I mean, that's what they are. Yeah. They are a pizza joint. Yeah. They do pizza better than I expected them to. I don't know why I had low expectations. I don't particularly remember the time or two I'd been to Chuck E. Cheese in the past

being bad or good, but I just, I think I had preconceived notions about it. In a lot of ways, it proved them to be right, but in terms of the pizza quality, it did not. In pizza quality, it excelled. This is not up there with the best pizzas I've had. It's not in that discussion. It's not in that same breath, but it is solid. It is a respectable pizza.

We got pepperoni with bacon bits on it, basically. The crust had a really nice garlic butter or garlic margarine seasoning. Yeah. It had like the perfect crunch to it. I respected the hell out of this effort put forth by Chuck E. Cheese. I'm going to give this pizza a very respectable seven and a half out of 10. This was good pizza. I remember their pizza being thicker, so I think they've definitely changed the recipe

since 20 plus years ago, surprise. But still, this was a good now thinner crust pizza. Good seven and a half. Yeah. That's what I gave. I guess I had mildly high expectations going in and they were met. I think it was definitely a little flat. I think it could have been more of a lumptuous stuff.

It was definitely thin crusted. I think it was pretty good, though, like the toppings, like everything was pretty good. The cheesiness was great. It kind of looked like what I had for lunch today, but. Oh, it's cool. Yeah. But, you know, it was good. It was definitely better than school lunch.

A ringing endorsement. I'm going to give it a seven out of 10. Seven out of 10. Okay. Yeah. Chuck E. Cheese is scoring pretty well on the pizza. You know, that's where their bread is buttered, so to speak. But speaking of buttered bread, they have cheesy bread, which came with our platter.

But as you all know, even though we ate pizza, let's brush that under the rug. Garrett and I, we don't eat cheese. But our friend Stephen does, and he is our fine dining cheese correspondent. But unfortunately, yet again, he has some stupid excuse as to why he can't use his voice. For a man that is supposed to give oral reviews of cheese, he really is irresponsible. He is, Garrett. But luckily, we have found a suitable replacement to speak on Stephen's behalf.

Chris Hansen here of Hansen versus Predators. Just a catch of predator. Have a seat with Chris Hansen. My new streaming crime network, True Blue. All the rest. I'm going to need you to have a seat right over there. Why? Well, Stephen actually lost his voice recently yelling at goats.

Not sure why he would be yelling at goats, but he did, and his voice is shot. So here I am filling in on the fine dining podcast with a very important review, something you need to know. This of course revolves around cheesy bread at Chuck E. Cheese's. I must tell you that my children are grown and it's been some time since I've been to Chuck E. Cheese's, but it serves a very important purpose in society for fine dining. It's a place where you can take your children for pizza and for birthday parties and for their highly-touted and well-advertised cheesy bread.

So let's take a look at the actual cheesy bread itself. The cheese was very nice. The texture was good. Mozzarella E. It stretches just like in the ads. Garlicy, buttery, but not too much garlic. You know, sometimes, especially for the parents, when they take their kids to Chuck E. Cheese's, the garlic can be a little too much. Produce heartburn.

This did not. Confident, yet not overpowering, I guess you could say. It was well-received and the bread itself was not overdone and there's nothing worse than when it's too crispy or crusty crumbs all over your lap, especially if you wear a plaid turtleneck like I do. Anyway, this is perfect. It actually, in our review, went above and beyond expectations. So we are going to give the Chuck E. Cheese's cheesy bread a good score, 7.8 out of 10 here

on the Fine Dining Podcast. It's still an American institution. So if you're looking for cheesy bread for you, your family, your children, I think this is a good cheesy bread. Take care. I'll be watching and listening. I'll see you soon on True Blue with new predator investigations out now. Watch trueblue.com, podcasts, predators I've caught.

If you are a predator, don't go to Chuck E. Cheese. Okay. Kidding. Anyway, the cheesy bread's good. Thanks so much, Chris Hansen, for that Chuck E. Cheese cheesy bread review. That's all the food. We got to throw our thumbs at the Chuck E. Cheese food offerings. Some of these items I thought were really good.

They had the worst fries, like, yeah, I don't know, the kind of sad, boneless wings, mid-as-hell celery, mid-as-hell, mediocre is fine, okay? It's fine dining, okay? No. Okay. Zero thumbs for the food. It kind of all canceled out. The churros and the pizza, I thought very solid.

Couple items, not so great, and a couple items very much in the middle. No thumbs for Chuck E. Cheese's food from me. This pizza was great. The churros were great. I did not have the celery, so I didn't have the opportunity to decide whether it's the best celery ever or just good celery. Just take my word for it. The sweet chili boneless wings, eh, they were okay.

In the fries, I'm embarrassed that those were called fries. Yeah. They were bad. Yeah, but so overall, still gets one thumb up. Okay. The bad didn't bring it down, the good performed well enough to hold it up. The main element of the meal, the pizza shined through. Makes sense.

Sorry, what? Who said that? Emma. What do you got? I think the fries and wings were definitely very disappointing, but you know, that's how we brought it up, definitely, and then between wild opinions. The pizza, the cheesy bread, and the celery, it was definitely one thumbs up. No rating.

Gotta assign it a number. We got to have something to stick it up on the Chachki of Mediocrity. The Chachki of Mediocrity, of course, if you haven't been paying attention and haven't gone on our Instagram to see it, it is our giant Frankenstein of a wall Chachki, combining all the elements, all the beautiful, beautiful elements of casual dining into one big like surfboard slash longhorn slash boomerang, grape, grape vine, they're grape vines, yeah, they're slash boat paddle, yeah, it's all these things combined into one. But most importantly, on that surfboard in the middle is a zero to 10 scale, our running

tally of all the restaurants we have been to so far with the four to six zone of mediocrity and right in the middle that nice star that 5.00 that is so elusive and we're looking for it currently closest to it is Waffle House and let's see if we can get any closer. We got to assign some numbers to Chucky Cheese, average them all out, slap it up on the Chachki of Mediocrity and see what we get. Garrett, do you want to start? I'm going to make this fast. I am going to give this a 5.91 because this did more than I expected this did more than

live up to my childhood expectations. OK, again, rainforest cafe, better as an adult, Chucky Cheese, better as an adult. You know, I think they performed well within the limitations that they kind of imposed upon themselves getting rid of the animatronics killed a lot of this experience for me. Not having service, obviously, we know how I feel about that. Watching the bourgeoisie, you know, enjoy their service while we're just over there in the doldrums in the slums just sitting there carrying three platters on our own. There have been creative development choices that Chucky Cheese has done over the years

that I'm not the type of person who will ever say like it killed my childhood, but it definitely took away an element that I was very much looking forward to. I didn't know whether or not there would be animatronics. I didn't know if there would be a play scape. I really wanted there to be a play scape like ball pit and like random like things that you can fall down and kind of break your neck. That's kind of the fun of it, you know, getting like that like plastic tunnel burn on your forearms like who doesn't love that.

So we were robbed of that a little bit. But with what they did give us, I thought they did well. But still taking away those elements, I can't in good conscience go over five. I don't think this is like that much below average, but I'm going to go four point six four on a Chucky Cheese. Overall, it was really good. Like it was better than bad. They should put that on their side.

We're better than bad. I mean, it's a factual statement. Yeah. Like you said, definitely downgraded with no with some of the choices with some of the choices, no animatronics, no play place thing. It definitely kind of brought it down, but overall, it definitely exceeded my expectations. Well, maybe not, but I was expecting a play place, but that's okay. In general, I think compared to the food, the atmosphere, the service, I think it's

a good like five point eight nine five point eight nine. So if we average all of our scores together, we end up with a five point four eight. Well, within the zone of mediocrity, respectable, we are closing in on it. You know, well, I don't know about that, but we are getting closer each week. And we've been actually doing mediocre very well. Well, awesome. We will throw that on the board, but because we did not find that perfect five point double zero out of 10, we got to keep looking.

And to do that, we need to play a little game. We need to play the headline game. Oh, you know, you're a fan of the show. The rules of the headline game are as follows. Garrett will present three headlines to Michael that include this week's restaurant. They can be made up or they can be actual headlines. If Michael can correctly guess if at least two out of three are real or fake, he will get to select next week's restaurant.

However, if Garrett stumps him, he'll select again. Are you ready to play, fellas? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's do it. First headline, crying children, loaded handgun pepper spray, fight breaks out at Mayfield Heights, Chuck E. Cheese. I think. False. I think true.

OK, next one, entire family of rabbits discovered in Point Orange, Chuck E. Cheese, ball pit. False. False. And the last one. Car crashes into Brandon Chuck E. Cheese while shooting occurred outside. True.

Oh, no. If I say true, it hinges entirely on the first one. I'm going to say true. Why don't you read them in reverse order so we can create some drama for that third one? OK, so reverse order, car crashes into Brandon Chuck E. Cheese while shooting occurred outside. Both of you guessed true. That is true.

OK, I've got one correct. Yeah. Now the second one. Entire family of rabbits discovered in Point Orange, Chuck E. Cheese, ball pit. Both of you again. False. I made that up.

You're both correct. OK, so now for all the marbles, the first one. Crying children, loaded handgun pepper spray, fight breaks out at Mayfield Heights, Chuck E. Cheese. Michael, you said false. Yep. Emma, you said true. This is true.

Well, you get to pick wherever we end up going next week. So where are you sending us for our next week's episode? Oh, that's a perfect one. Yeah. Don't tell your girlfriend I said this, but Hooters. That's hilarious. Oh, God. Their wings have to be better than Chuck E.

Cheese, right? Yeah. I mean, that's that's a thing that they're note. I mean, they better. That was said by Chuck E. Cheese doesn't seem that hard to beat in terms of wings. I've always liked Hooters wings. And I would say Hooters probably has better fries.

You are an agent of chaos. Let me know if you need any drama. I'll be I'll be on my way. Well, that is it for this week's episode of Fine Dining, the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. Emma, thanks so much for joining us. Welcome. It was so much fun to have you come with us to Chuck E.

Cheese and to have you on the podcast. Oh. You sound surprised. I am. Go ahead and, you know, do us a favor this week. If you've been listening to us since the beginning and you're a fan of the show, we would really appreciate it if this week you just reach out to one person that you haven't told about the show and let them know we exist.

We're trying to grow our numbers. And if all of you do that, I think it could make a little impact. Yeah. For those of you joining us for the first time, please come back next week. We're going to be at Hooters and see what kind of chaos ensues there. Don't forget, follow us on our Instagram and our TikTok at Fine Dining podcast. Leave us a review, Spotify, iTunes, anything. We really appreciate all of you.

We'll see you next week. The search does in fact continue. Have a fine day. Like and subscribe. The search continues. Our journey did not conclude. The monorail in search continues. Write us an iTunes review.

And hey, while you're at it, why don't you go ahead and make it five stars? Come on. Follow us on TikTok. The same on Instagram. All the socials at Fine Dining podcast. We have a website. Find Dining podcast.com. Buy our t-shirts.

Then put them on. And don't forget, you can always suggest where we go next. OK, we're going to find it. Mediocrity, the search continues. See you next week. Hurt my throat a little. Have a fine day.