Fitzdog Radio - Andy Richter - Episode 1057

Episode Date: June 19, 2024

My man Andy comes on and we celebrate our honeymoon! Follow Andy Richter on Instagram @richtercommaandy 

Happy Father's Day everybody. It's Fitts Dogg Radio. It's Father's Day when I'm recording this. Beautiful day. What a nice Father's Day I had. It makes me appreciate my family, how much they care about me. I got breakfast in bed. My son cooked me eggs and my daughter wrote me a beautiful card and my wife got me a new backpack, a new computer bag, which sounds boring, not when you have a shitty computer bag and it makes you upset every day.

And now I've got little pockets for every little thing. My phone charger, my wires, my pills that I take every day, my extra keys, my glasses, my reading glasses, my spare change, my wallet, my computer, my folder with important papers. It just goes on and on. Chewing gum, floss. How about cold remedies?

I got it all. When I go on the road, I'm set. Anyway, we spent the nice day. Went to Penn Mart with the Irish mafia. Was in full force. Fitzsimmons, Fitzgibbons, Fitzgerald, O'Neill. And then two guys from Ireland, who I just met recently.

Great time. Hung out, watched the US Open all day, ate some good food, and watched Rory McElroy fucking choke it on 18. Jesus Christ, he missed two three-foot putts on the last three holes to lose to that. I don't want to badmouth anybody, but this, this DeChambeau really, really upsets me. He's a, he's a live guy.

He's kind of a douchebag. His wife is a gold digger. Again, here are my bad mouthing him. Meanwhile, Rory had it. He was a little distracted. He was rumored to, I think he announced he was getting divorced, and then there was rumors that he was having an affair with Amanda Ballionis, who's the CBS reporter, the golf reporter, who every guy I know has a crush on this woman. She has got the greatest, most, I don't know about her personality. She just, she seems like the woman you would have been best

friends with since eighth grade. She loves sports, she likes to laugh, she's gorgeous, she's full-figured. And they were having an affair apparently and now they announced last week that Rory and his wife were getting back together so maybe he was a little distracted by all of that. Danny McCarthy played well, Little Rocky the first day he was like five over, made the cut, was three under the next day, which was like the best of anybody on day two. Anyway, he ended up rounding out, he did well, got no screen time, no TV coverage on Denny. Come on, CBS, show some fucking love.

It's not all about Rory and Bryson. Anyway, Happy Father's Day. Tough day. I know if you are a deadbeat dad, a day like this can be really tough on you. My heart goes out to all the fathers that have abandoned their kids because it's just, you know, it's got to be the one day that makes you stop and go, you know, I don't know. Or maybe in the end, maybe you woke up on this fine Sunday with a wine glass in your hand and some sweet condo that you paid off years ago because you didn't pay for college.

You got a woman half your age getting dressed and awkwardly asking, are you gonna call? Are you gonna call me? And someone's hocking out front because your buddies, you and your buddies all have season tickets to the Dodgers. Would you trade that off for a card, for a nicely written card from a kid and some eggs in bed? Would you? Yeah, you know, in the end, which is a better life?

I don't know. What does the word fulfilling even mean? I'm fulfilled, I have a wonderful family, but ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm But anyway, Father's Day always makes me think about, and I talked about this briefly on Sunday papers, but my friend Kevin Lynch lost his dad right around Father's Day. And I wrote my dad this heartfelt letter saying, Dad, God forbid anything should ever happen.

I want you to know how much I love you. I was crying, writing this letter to my dad, telling him how deeply I love him. And I did love my dad. My dad was a complicated guy. He was a very angry, very depressed alcoholic with a lot of childhood trauma that he never dealt with.

And so he passed on a lot of bad stuff, but he also passed on some of what I consider to be my greatest gifts, my sense of humor, I think my loyalty to friends, my commitment to family, which he always had. But anyway, so long story short, I write in this letter, he never says anything to me about, I come home, like I figured my phone will ring,

he never mentions it once, I'm just like, all right, well I guess he just couldn't handle the intimacy, you know? So anyway, then he dies, the week before Father's Day, when I'm 25, when we were 25. And so we're clearing out his desk after he died and right on top was that letter that I had written to him.

And I think about that letter every time my kids write me a card, I have saved, I have a fucking giant staples container in the back, a big plastic container with every card my kids have ever written me. I saved them all. Even if it's just like a quick I love you. I save it. It means everything to me. And it gets me through some bad times. I've been depressed lately. Oh God, yuck, gross. Sitting for a couple days go by and you go, what did you do?

You know, maybe I dragged myself to the gym. I'm trying to meditate, trying to fight. You know what helps? Just reading a book or the New Yorker. I just sit down and read. And sometimes if everybody will leave me the fuck alone for an hour, reading is like a therapy for me. Good book, what's the title?

Rob Doyle is a good young Irish novelist whose book is called, I'll think of it, I'll say it on the next show. I just finished it, it's great. Anyway, oh, and stand-up comedy pulls me out. I only had a couple spots this week. It was a slow week, because I was on the road for half of the week,

and then I kind of flaked and didn't show up to one of my shows, which never happens, but I did. That pulls me out all the time. And you know what else pulls me out? When you guys give me a nice rating on YouTube, comments on YouTube, nice ratings on, do you listen on Apple podcasts? Comment, stars, it all helps, spread the love.

You can always write me at Greg Fitzshow. Where is that? That's Twitter, Greg Fitzsimmons on Instagram and then a Fitzdogg radio at gml.com for letters for your notes. I also always get, by the way, next couple of weeks we got Harlan Williams and Dave Keckner coming up. So we got a nice month.

I get email sent to you guys with overheards. This is a segment that's been going on for 14 years on the show. Got some good ones this past week. This is from Jim Oh in Venice Beach. Guy and Ralph's on speakerphone, which first of all, who goes on speakerphone in a supermarket? Do you trust, I don't trust the people I'm friends with

to not say fucked up shit in a supermarket that could get me and them canceled. So I keep the earbuds in. Anyway, so the guy says, or he hears, so you got a Jeep? Woman on the phone, yeah, I've been walking for years. That's a Jeep for you. Cute idea.

Barbie had one, GI Joe had one. The Jeep, it's all American. You know what else it is? The lowest rated car. I looked up the 10 lowest rated cars, the least reliable cars according to Consumer Reports. It's like they're all American. It's so embarrassing.

Chrysler, Rivian, Jeep, GMC, Lincoln, Ford, Rivian, Jeep, GMC, Lincoln, Ford, and I know Chevy's not, they're a con tear away from the bottom 10, I guarantee it. Volkswagen is, believe it or not, is also in there. I always had Volkswagens and I had good luck with them. Maybe they've gone downhill. Mercedes is very low. I have a Toyota. We have three cars. I have a Toyota Prius. I've got a Subaru Outback and I've got a

Toyota Highlander. And the Toyotas never give me a problem. They just run. They don't ask questions. They don't complain. They just start up and they get me where I'm going. Do they look good? No. Do they look bad? No. It's just fucking transportation baby. I don't need to impress anybody when I pull up to the comedy store. You want to be impressed? Come into the OR and watch me do a 15-minute set. That's where I impress. I don't need to impress you with a fucking sports car in the parking lot. I'm going to impress you with my retirement.

Okay? You want to see what trips I take my family on? That's where my money goes. Who am I yelling at? Jesus. Sounds like somebody wants a Mustang. Thinking about the Mustang. And then this from Rob Rider. I was in a thrift shop in Tahoe City. That, sir, sounds like the beginning of a good alt-country song. two local types talking about the JFK assassination and one says something then this,

true, but everyone has their own nug of knowledge. Everyone has their own nug of the knowledge. Yeah, it's true. When will we see the files? When will they release, I know they did some redacted limited release of the,? When will they release? I know they did some redacted limited release of the, was it the Warren Report? About the JFK assassination.

There's still a lot of that CIA shit we don't know about. And Trump was asked point blank this week if he would release the JFK files. He said, absolutely. And they said, well, what about Nixon's files?, he said absolutely. And they said, well, what about Nixon's files? He said, absolutely. And they said, what about Epstein? He goes, absolutely.

Now, you know what? You know what? I think some people might get hurt by that. Yeah, I think no. So you wouldn't release the Epstein? No, I don't think I would release the, oh really? Interesting.

I don't think Clinton would release them? I don't think Biden had any, I don't think he took any plane trips, who knows? By the way, that was a deep fake on Biden walking aimlessly away from some people the other day. Anyway, there's gonna be a lot of deep fakes of Trump and Biden over the next five months. It's so easy to manipulate video and put it out. People are gonna be believing all kinds of

crazy shit. They're gonna believe these guys are old. Then Lars Eric Pearson said, at a wah-wah in Chesapeake, Virginia, Cashier asked a dude if he wanted to round up his purchase for St. Jude's. This fucker said, let him die. Screw him. Whew. Man. Let him die. Sounds to me like maybe somebody got turned away

from the St. Jude's free clinic when he was a child. Did the guy have a goiter on his neck? Was he missing an ear? I think they accept everybody. I've done a lot of benefits for St. Jude's over the years. It's St. Jude. They accept everybody. Even if you're rich, they take you in for free.

It's unbelievable. Maybe they're too generous. Yeah, they accept everybody. Even if you're rich, they take you in for free. It's unbelievable. Maybe they're too generous. Yeah, fuck these kids. Jeff JK, this is from nearly a year ago. All right, well thanks for the expediency of writing in. Just after the Ocean Gate submersible implosion, I was sitting at the train station in Hudson, New York, and an older black gentleman is discussing it

with a friend of his on his cell phone. He pauses before saying loudly, quote, "'Man, white people need to leave the damn Titanic alone.'" I put the tie into the Titanic. Yeah, it's true. It's a death trap. And I was thinking about how annoying those people in that submarine, the Ocean Gate submarine,

when it went down and they were trapped, they were trapped for hours, maybe 12 with limited air, and they're all yapping it up. And you know how annoying they were, because they're a bunch of rich white people, entitled. They're all asking for, who's in charge? Who's in charge here?

I paid $100,000. I demand somebody, then you got black. If black people were in there, they'd just be like, yep, yep, mm-hmm, this is the shit that happens to us. Yep, I don't know. Then we got, all right, that's it. We'll read some more next week. I wanna get to the interview

with my dear friend Andy Richter, who I've known. I first met him through Matt Malloy many years ago, and then I used to go on the Conan O'Brien show pretty regularly and do standup comedy, and I got to know him a little bit there. He came on my, he's been on the show many times. And he, matter of fact, I think for the first time he ever talked about his father being gay,

it was on my podcast. We used to hang out at his house with his kids. He's done it all. He had a TV, he had this great TV show called Andy Richter Controls the Universe that I think should have been on for a long time. And it was not the Madagascar movies he was in Malcolm in the middle Arrested Development how about him in elf he was amazing in elf

dr. do little Madagascar yeah all the Madagascars. What else did he do? Scary movie. Pootie Tang, Talladega Nights, Ballad of Rick and Bobby, Blades of Glory, Semi-Pro, which I watched with my son the other night. Not the best movie. Anyway, you know him. You love him.

Here's a really great talk and a great hang with my friend, Andy Richter. ["The New World"] Congratulations, you're newly remarried. I am, I am. I hate to say remarried. That sort of takes the... Well, I mean, but it's just the truth.

Yeah. Because like I'll say, you know, like I just got remarried and you know, it can sound like to the same person, then I, you know, I guess usually re, you know, being married is a state. Yeah, I think so. Should you have to say re-re-re-married if it's three times? Yeah, re-re-re-re-re-married. I don't know. I mean, boy, well, I didn't plan on ever getting divorced.

And then life happened. And so, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I. You guys got to the finish line with the kids before you got divorced divorced though, right? Were they basically at 18 by that time? They were... They were 14 and 19.

Okay, yeah, our kids... When I moved out. Yeah, our kids are about the same age. Your son is 23. 23 and my daughter's 18. Yeah, my daughter's 20. Yeah, they're the same ages. Yeah. And I got, but I married a. Yeah, they're the same ages. Yeah.

But I married a single mom, so now I got a four-year-old too. Nice. I adopted my stepdaughter. That's pretty sweet. That brings life into the house, huh? It sure does. And it's so funny, because people, they either go like, why the fuck would you do that?

Why would you go back into that? Or they act like I'm some kind of big hero. Which, I mean, I just love kids. I don't think there's anything more important than raising kids. And I like doing it, and I love her, and I love her mother, so what the fuck am I gonna do? I mean, there's that.

It's not like I was like, you know what? I'm gonna save this woman. I'm gonna, you know, but what people, and so, but people do act like, oh wow, aren't you something? And I kind of feel like, yeah, but this child is providing me with another 16 or 17 years of not having to make any decisions. Yes. You know, like I don't have to decide what I'm gonna do with myself or my life for like another 16 years.

Yeah, yeah, cause. I'm just gonna be taking care of her and like, I wake up on Saturday, what am I gonna do today? Well, I'm gonna. You're gonna get on the floor. We're gonna go to ice skating and then we're gonna go to, you know,

I'm gonna get something to, you know, we're gonna get something to eat, you know. So I mean, taking care of kids is a wonderful, like, absolving of self-directedness, which I- You're also very childlike, so I could see it sort of tapping into your, it's creative, having a little kid. It's an, you come from improv. A four-year-old is doing an improv from the time they get up to, you come from improv, a four year old is doing an improv

from the time they get up to, it's okay, oh it's a piece of paper, it's a play, now look this is there, and you go with it. Her thing is like, no, you go around the corner, and I'll walk by and you'll say, what are you doing here? And then I'll say, I'm the sheriff, you know? And then you have to do that 12 times, you know? And if I improvise, I get scolded.

No! Like, that's not your line. It's like, do you know why we have this house? Because I improvise. No, I mean, you're right. It is silly. It's like you do get to be silly all the time and do silly voices and just be silly.

And it does, when you're keeping in contact with a very young person and entertaining a very young person and doing very young person things, yeah, I'm not doing old man shit. I'm doing little kid shit. So yeah, it does keep you young. It keeps you young. I think one of the, it can be an upside. I don't know how you feel about it, but the parents of your child's friends can be a discovery. It can be a great new group or it can be, especially when you're in show business, they will ask you the same 12 questions. Yeah, yeah.

And you, that's tough. It's all part of it, you know? Yeah. And my daughter goes to a very nice, I mean truly a very nice school. My older kids went to the same school in the Valley and there was some gross LA bullshit involved there. But you know, you find, it's like anywhere.

It's like a job. You go into a workplace, you're new there, you make friends, and then there's other people like, oh boy, don't get in the elevator with that fucking whore. Yeah, yeah, right. So it's just, you know, you pick and choose. And this, and like I say, the school that my daughter goes to is very nice and very like, it's about as not LA as you can get.

That's cool. Yeah, yeah. It's in Pasadena. Isn't it funny, we're all in LA and all we want are things that are not LA. Well, yeah. When you're in New York. Well, yeah. It's in Pasadena. Isn't it funny, we're all in LA and all we want are things that are not LA. Well, yeah. When you're in New York. Well, yeah.

But when you're in New York, you want some most New York things you can get to. It's a showbiz LA. There's a totally separate LA that's like the people that live here who are roofers and dentists, and who don't live, frankly, on the West Side, you know, or Hollywood,

or a little bit on the Valley, you know. Yeah, but look at you, you're Mr. Hollywood. Yeah. Yeah. It's more like I missed Hollywood. Are you finding, getting to the age you're at now, like you feel like, I was just, I was talking to David Cross about this.

I'm in a attic in a neighborhood I can't even name in Hollywood, talking to a guy who's not even on a show right now. No, that's, yeah, I just feel like, I was talking to David Cross, I was talking to David Cross and he's here doing, taping his podcasts for Netflix as a joke and he just was like, yeah, I didn't get invited to any of the big, you know, because

it's a big comedy festival. And I was like, did you get invited to Ted Sarandos' house? Because I heard on Stern they were talking about there was a party at Ted's house. Oh yeah, there was. And he's like, no, no. And I feel the same way. I feel like, no, no. And I feel the same way. I feel like, no, no. Like a couple of years ago, I was just,

I was looking through photos to find an old, I was looking yesterday to find a photo of my, I have a photo of my mother supposedly, because yesterday was Mother's Day. My mother on the couch pregnant with me and next to her was a cup of black coffee and a pack of cigarettes and a full ashtray and

So I was looking for that picture and as I was going through I saw a couple of maybe three years ago I did a Super Bowl commercial for Avocados of course I remember that yeah avocados from Mexico and I flew to Mexico City and shot this whole thing and And I just was like, oh, there's no fucking way I would be doing a super, I don't know what happened in the last three years, but like, oh, that was, you know, that was a lovely thing that happened in my past. And that isn't to say that like, I won't, you know,

it won't happen again, but it's just, it's such a weird, quiet time for show business. No, it's a quiet time for us. Yeah, and it's not just, you know, look, being a straight white man of an older age, and you can play gay, you have that going for you. Okay. But me-

I can also play Asian. Gajan, can you play Gajan? Sure, why not? Get a twofer going. But I think it's also the show business right now, we had the pandemic followed by the Writers Guild Strike and now we've got this, it's not gonna happen, but there is the looming threat of a-

Of another strike. Yahtzee who is below the line, people, the cameras and the makeup people and all that. So Hollywood has taken that as an opportunity to go like, hey, we're losing money, we're just gonna kick back, cancel everybody's deals, buy nothing, and let people watch the office reruns because that's where we're making all our money anyway.

So things are at a standstill. I know cameramen, they're selling their houses and leaving town because between these three events, they just can't do it anymore. No, it's a lot. It's a lot. My chiropractor, his entire business is crew people. And he just said, yeah, they're all,

like people who never stopped working are like doing nothing now. So it's just, you know, it's just, it's an ebb and a flow and it all, but it's also a lot of it. You know, the thing is they pour all this money into stuff and podcasting is the same thing. They pour into money, they give different people

20 million dollars. And then after they're, you know, after the parties are thrown and you know, a quarter passes, they're like, how do we get that money back out? You know, and the answer is, you don't. You just gave people $20 million and now you have to lay off, you know,

you have to lay off 300 people. While the people that got $20 million, they're doing fine. They got that cash, they cashed. Yeah, and it's funny because I started doing, I was one of the first podcasters and you were one of my early guests. I've been doing this for 14 years

and never part of a company. Like I think Conan's producing yours, right? So you got a small little company, it's organic. It's- Well, but not anymore. He sold to SiriusXM. Oh, he did. He did, yeah.

So my last contract was, like Conan and Jeff have very little... So you got a check upfront for yours. Yeah, yeah, that was always my deal. Son of a bitch. I made a deal with the family business. Yeah. And I was paid a really,

for podcasting, a nice amount of money. Yeah. It's not gonna, I can't live on it, but it's like, you know, it's a couple of payments to different utilities, you know. Right. But it was, and I knew, I always knew that it was, I'm not gonna say overpaid, just because I am worth,

I'm always worth more than I'm paid. Yeah. That's just a rule. But I knew I was making a nice living. And then when Sirius XM came into the picture, they were like, well, I mean, in fact, I'm one of the things I'm here to talk about is I'm gonna be doing a call-in radio show on Sirius XM, which I'm doing in addition to the other show,

just like, cause they're like, yeah, you know what? We'll renegotiate the contract that you got to do something else to which I was like Yeah, they said call in radio show. I was like, oh That's like a long off a log, you know great. So yeah, I just you know, I mean I'm Recording my third one on Thursday. What's the name of this new one? Andy Richter Call-In Show, the Andy Richter Call-In Show. They probably had development executives and marketing people come up with that, didn't they? No, no.

But I said, they're like, what are we going to call it? I said, just call it the Andy Richter Call-In Show. And I've learned, like Andy Richter controls the universe. That was my idea. Because they said, you have to have your name in the title, which I did not want because it just seemed like a lot of exposure. Yeah.

Which I don't think exposure is a good thing. No, when something fails, you want to be able to like Bugs Bunny jump out of the plane right before it hits the ground. So they wanted my name in it, but I wanted it to be something so grandiose, like everybody loves Raymond. Yeah. Like I was just like, it can't be something that'll make me feel embarrassed the rest of my life. The marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

So it had to be something grandiose. And cause the show had a, you know, a changing narrative, you know, and had lots of like, you know, fantasy kind of things. I just said, Andy Richter controls the universe. Cause no one can think that serious, but it's a terrible title cause nobody gets it right. Yeah.

Andy Richter rules the world. Andy Richter controls things. Nobody gets it right. But Andy Richter call-in show, what am I going to call it? Dialing in with Andy. Yeah, butt dial. Yeah, the Andy Richter call-in show. And even in conversations, people are like,

OK, we can talk that over too if that's going to be in. I'm like, all right, you can talker call-in show. And even in conversations, people were like, okay, we can talk that over too, if that's gonna be, and I'm like, all right, you can talk that over all you want, but who gives a shit, first of all. It's just, it's a call-in show with me, and then there was kind of some, and I understand, there's people whose jobs are to put on a lot of different shows, and they're like, so what's the theme of this? And I'm like, shooting breeze for an hour?

Right. Taking calls, you know? I mean, there is a topic every time like we've done. Well, for the first one, the theme was, which I did with Andy Daly. I have a guest and we talk a little at the top and then we sort of answer them. And the first one was, have you ever,

for the question posed to the callers, have you ever set out on something that seemed really, like it was really gonna be great and then it failed miserably? Which I want to, as my opening gambit, I wanted that to be the theme. Then the second one was bad parenting. Like, let's talk, it's tales was bad parenting.

Like, let's talk, it's tales of bad parenting. They're either done to you or you did yourself or you witnessed. And the next one is dating disasters. So it's just like, like I said, I just want topics that people can call in with anecdotes about. And then do you put it out on your social media ahead of time?

Yeah, yeah. Give out the number and people call in. And then people call, or we call people back. Oh, okay. Which is the way most of those kind of shows, like if you ever listen to like NPR kind of game talk shows, people send in a message, cause they're all taped.

Right, right. And there is talk about doing it live, like occasionally doing it live, which I would love to do. Yeah, that's amazing. Also because if I said, if I committed to doing it live, I would instantly get an acting job out of town for three months. I just know. Yeah, you know what you should do is. It's like washing your car and then having it rain. Remember when you were nice enough to come in and do my childish podcast with Alison Rose in that little room at the Comedy Store?

It was perfect. It was very intimate. That would be nice, yeah. Get a hundred people in there. Yeah. I'm not a big fan of comedy. You know, I'm so much more used to improv spaces. And like now just getting used to Largo, you know,

cause we did the end of the Conan show at Largo. Oh, right, right. And Flanagan's, you know, Mark Flanagan's, he's did the end of the Conan show at Largo. Oh, right, right. And Flanagan's, you know, Mark Flanagan's, he's a good friend of mine, and we get together for coffee and gossip probably once or twice a month. And which he's just the best, the best gossip in town. The best gossip, because he's committed to it.

And he, yeah, and I mean, and he also gossips in a way that you never, cause you know, like when you're with someone who talks shit about people, the natural inclination is to go, well wait, when they go away and talk to somebody else, are they talking shit about me? It's true.

But when he talks, he has the, you have the ability of having complete trust, and I truly do trust him, that he wouldn't talk shit about me, you know. I could see him... I'm gonna call Flanagan right now and bring you up, and I'm gonna see what he says. No, but he's just such a prince. He's just such the best person. He is, and something about the Irish accent makes the... Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's from Northern Ireland. He is from Belfast. Yeah. Yeah, and he's got like this,

I don't know, there's something about the Irish gossiping. It really does feel like you're having tea with them. Let's see if he picks up. He doesn't generally pick up my calls. He's a busy man. Well, I don't know if he thinks I'm looking for a stage time or something. Oh, oh.

And I've sort of fallen out of the Largo sphere. The Largo loop, Yeah. But we do play golf and it's funny we'll play golf and then he'll go hey we got to get you back on the show soon and I'll be like I go Mark just stop you don't have to say that just say good round. Yeah yeah. Or you know as my friend Jackie Flynn says you know you didn't play well when the best thing they say at the end is, good hustle. Mr. Flanagan? Hello? Hey Flanny, it's Greg Fitzsimmons.

I'm here with Andy Richter. We were just talking about you and we're gonna say hello. Call me back if you get a chance. All right, maybe this is your home phone. All right, God bless. I was trying to do like your calling show. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know? No, and he would, yeah. And you do it solo? He wouldn't talk shit about me though. I will say- No, no, the calling show I will do with a guest. I try to arrange it with a guest every time. Oh, great, great.

Because then it's something to promote and then once it's up and running, it can be part, you know, cause you know how it's like, you're part of the promotions machine. You know, like you get people, you get people on your show who wouldn't do your show unless they had something to plug. So you get people, you know,

most of the time it's gonna be just people to shoot the breeze with. But it also helps getting people to listen. Like I find with my podcast, I can track the numbers. Yeah, yeah. I get Andy Richter on, I get a nice little spike. Oh good. Yeah, people like to listen to you.

That's nice. And then I get on, let's say, Karen Kilgaraf. Huge spike. Oh right, because of the- Oh my God. Because of the murder. The murder show. Because of the murder. It's so huge. Yeah, show. It's the murder. It's so huge.

It's so funny. Why are we obsessed with murder? I mean, and I am, I can't get enough of these true crime series. Is it that we secretly have an animal instinct to want to kill and we repress it, maybe even to the point where we don't even realize we want to until we see these shows. I would tend, I mean you know it's different for

different people. I mean it depends on how hard you are while you're listening or watching to, and I know your daughter's here, but you know it's time she learned that men are gross. I think she figured that out already. Yeah, she probably has. But no, I would think it's more like a thing of like we're all afraid of dying. So it's the reason we watch horror movies. It's just kind of like,

it's like vaccination against fear. It's just a of like, it's like vaccination against fear. Yeah. It's just a little taste of it that we know is kind of in a safe realm or a safe dosage. And then it just makes us feel a little bit of power over it. But it is like, I don't know, it's fascinating. It's like sex and violence.

Like, they're always gonna be popular. They're always gonna be popular just because of the kind of monkey that we are, you know? Yeah, and there was, it's also about the machinations of the crimes. Like, some of these people are brilliant. Yes, yeah. You know, like, I just- And some of them are stupid as hell, and that's fun too, you know? Right, people are brilliant. Yes, yeah. You know, like I just. And some of them are stupid as hell

and that's fun too, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there was one I just saw about this woman who became a guy's stalker. Yeah. Did you see that one? Uh-uh. And she basically.

Oh, is that the little reindeer thing? No. Oh, okay. I heard that's good though. Yeah, I haven't seen it yet. But she stalks this guy to the point that, to the point where she disappears She goes off the grid moves out of her place and is stalking him from afar

Wow like in his emails Talking to him at work and saying I like your red shirt today and that pencil in your hand and he's going like what the fuck like you know terrorizes his friends and all from note when the FBI is looking for and they can't find it he moves three states over a daily I mean he did everything to erase himself right next day she was there so it goes on and on until you realize they looked at her apartment, she hadn't packed anything important. And they started to realize she's fucking dead. There's somebody else that's stalking him. And it's the old girlfriend. Yeah. It was crazy. That's so that's the kind of thing where like, if you presented that, it's like,

that's too complicated. Yeah, right. Right. Right. It's just, you know, yeah, that's happened in real life. But I, but it's fun. But ultimately all of that is very flattering to the guy. Yes. You know. It is. To have two women.

Yeah. Yeah. And then seemingly from the grave? And then it's like, no, no, it's just the old one. Well, still, geez. Yeah. Gee whiz. What is it about me, girls?

That is insane. Yeah. And where was the dead one? Did the old girlfriend murder the dead one? Yeah, she murdered her and she was in plain, she had kids. She was a mom of two kids. Wow. And she, that's the other thing. I can't, there's days where I don't get a shower in.

I haven't shaved in four days. I can't fill my car with gas on a regular basis. I still almost run out. And this woman's got kids, she's raising a job. And stalking. And somehow finds the time to do a high-level stocking that's impressive yeah again flattering yeah that is a flattered by or to be stocked by such a multitask yes she's giving up sleep for you yeah yeah where was this at because I would love to see no I mean like oh what was the venue I'll find out and I'll text yeah yeah let me know now that I've kind of

done a spoiler on everybody no no I'll show I won't, what was the venue? I'll find out and I'll text you. Yeah, yeah, let me know. Well, now that I've kind of done a spoiler on everybody. Anybody that's seen it. No, no, I'll show, I won't tell my wife the spoiler part. Yeah. But no, yeah, we watched some true crime stuff and I used to be super into it, but I found that having kids made me,

it soured me on it. I could see that. There was not enough ironic detachment, you know? Cause like, you know, I ironic detachment, you know, cause like, you know, I don't know, you just, you're like, it just, it tethers you to the earth more, you know? And then I, and I can like, cause you know, when I'm, when it's just me, it's who cares, but it's like, oh, my kids. Like when I hear about murder and I think, oh, me getting murdered, I'm like, but you know, my kids getting murdered, I'm like, oh that would suck. Yeah, I have a joke about that about how if I got murdered I'm

Exactly like I I did it, you know, I you know, what do I have to prove? That's my thing always and I'm for like, you know, like, you know, being healthy, losing weight, exercise, you know, all these different things that you're supposed to do. And my answer is, oh, I get more of this? Fuck you, I get plenty of this. You know, and I get attacked on the end when I can't do anything?

Wow. Cause when I think about all the end when I can't do anything? Wow! Cause when I think about all the old people I knew, they are fucking living it up. Yeah, right. Sitting in our barca lounge, you're bitching. I know. I get more of that?

Yeah, yeah. Wow! I get to expand the time where they're telling me I have to lose weight in order to have more of this. Right, right. When I want to eat. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So many things you have more of this. Right, right. When I want to eat. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

So many things you have to not do. Right, right. And that's where I guess probably the end of my concern for my children is, cause like then it'd be like, well, no, don't you want to be around for your kids? And I guess I'm like, well, yeah, I guess it'd be nice, but.

I guess so. They'll be fine. They got a life insurance policy. They'll actually upgrade. Yeah, I they'll be fine. They got a life insurance policy to actually upgrade. Come on, I've laid some pretty good groundwork with those kids. They should be all right. Once my bloated corpse turns up.

This will give them character. One of them will be a novelist, the other one will be a documentary filmmaker. And they won't have to work for me like your poor daughter does. That's right. I know. Yeah. Yeah.

She's really looking at this as like a jump off point. Once she learns the skills, she's out of here. I would hope so. Yeah. As soon as you can. Bye dad. Yeah. Thanks for the entry.

No, you know, doing, like doing, you know, being on a talk show forever and just doing, you know. How many years? I did it seven at the beginning, so 18 altogether. But he was on for more than. You missed five or six years. Well, he was there, no, he was on for more than you missed five or six years no he was on

for like almost 30 years but he was on for like 10 or 12 without me but I would see and I've seen it different things like old established actors like like I think it was Mickey Rooney and Mickey Ro Rooney had a son, a grown adult son, whose job was to take care of Mickey Rooney. Yeah. And travel with Mickey Rooney. And basically be Mickey Rooney's assistant. Yeah.

No, no. All right. No, no, no, no. No. Yeah. Yeah, that I like, the idea of like, I would, I would, you know, I I like the idea of like I would I would You know I would like if if that was what my kids were aiming for I do like, you know, like an old Movie where you're trying to get a dog to leave, you know that you love like get out of here, you know

I'd throw sticks at my kids just to get him to walk away rather than be my assistant. Fuck that. I want an assistant. I like my kids. I want them hanging out as opposed to what? Some Filipino woman who's taking my watch? What? Wow. That was out of left field. Oh, you're going to be in so much trouble.

No, no, no. By the opposite, my mom doesn't want to be in a position where we're taking care of her. She's like, if it gets to that point, take me out of my misery. All right. And I mean, to the point where she's like, if she got COVID, she'd wanna be put down. She's ready. Wow. Yeah.

Is there like a smothering pillow behind glass that you can break and- It just says, shh. No, I, well I well I know I agree I love having my kids around but yeah I wouldn't I wouldn't want them because like my son my son's 23 and he moved in with me and my wife and our daughter and he's living with us now and it's I love it it's great yeah yeah I love it except he gets like last night we had dinner and he got he got bitchy with everybody because he just traveled for six months in Central America and he was living the life. Him and his buddy staying in youth hostels that were like eight bucks a night climbing volcanoes, partying until five in the morning. No responsibilities. It's so

cheap. Yeah. And then he comes home and all of a sudden it's like his bedroom is next to ours and he's getting a little cranky and he's lashing out of people and it's like you might need to move on at this point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know you need your own place. You need to be with your friends. Yeah. And what's he at? William, is that your son? William, yeah, yeah. And what's he up to? He actually just graduated. Did he go to school in New York? He started in New York, but he finished at USC. Oh, OK. In fact, Friday was commencement. They had commencement, and they didn't have the big commencement, but each school had their own commencement.

Oh, they canceled it because of the protests. Yeah. And so it was like a three block line to get through the security check. And then it was like, it was an art school and it was in the basement of like a basement ballroom. But as you walk out and there's only certain entry and exit points around campus,

you're just hearing and seeing all these different colleges having their commencements. But he just graduated and he's delivering Uber Eats. Film studies? No, he was art. He was just art. He got a BA in arts. Oh really?

He didn't get a BFA. He did a lot of studio art, but he didn't want to just do studio art because he wanted to, you know, he has a lot. It just gives him more of an ability to get jobs. Because if you come out with a BFA, it just means you painted or you sculpted. And also that wasn't the college experience that he wanted. He's a very talented artist, but we'd go to,

when he was a senior in high school, we went in turd colleges and they would say things like, well, if you get into studio art, be ready to just be in the studio all the time. And he was just like, well, no. You know, yeah. Well, art is so broad, and now with the internet, it's an exciting time to be an artist because with AI,

I mean, you can explore, you can really be at the forefront of, because nobody, right now, they say that whatever jobs your kids are in college for are not gonna exist in 15 years. And the jobs that do exist, we can't even conceptualize what those are. If you're an artist, you're the one that's actually

thinking about and creating what the new realities are. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And you know, and design aesthetics, there's always, you know, right, everything's gonna need a package. You know, everything, every movie is gonna need a advertising campaign. You know, every every restaurant's gonna need an interior. Yeah, right. There's all different kinds of ways that, you ways that he can do different stuff. How much of what he does is digital? A lot. A lot.

I mean, his own work, he mostly paints. He paints like paint, but he knows how to do all that stuff. And he likes doing that stuff, but he's mainly a painter. But I think, I don't know, I just... that stuff, but he's mainly a painter. But I think, I don't know, I just, he, I think, he had a lot of, we gave him a lot of sort of extracurricular art education, which meant a lot of being taught by a lot of artists. Yeah. Even from like the age of 12 on, taking different classes.

And I think he just noticed that the art, and not that he's like some, like needs to drive a Lamborghini, but he just saw the struggles of these artists that taught him. And he's like, I don't know if I really, you know, I mean, it's like, I mean, it's kind of the way that I feel about creative life.

It's like, you know, I like doing stuff, but I don't want to starve, you know. Well, it's a tough world. I don't want to just be like, I have to paint. I don't feel like I have to do comedy. I have to get out this story. And there's times when I wish I did, although a lot of the people that I know that are like, I got to get this out. They're kind of miserable. Yeah. Well, I think that's why you were so successful for so long on Cone. And I mean, in many realms, obviously you've done tons of movies and, but the fact that you are, you are a team player, you're a great hang is something that, and when somebody

is, I have to have my voice out, you can't play with a lot of people. Right, right. You kinda have to just be doing your own thing. Right, right. So, but it's also a hard world to be a starving artist. And when we were young, you know, I know you came up through the Chicago scene, right?

Yeah. And then I came up through New York and my rent was $600. Yeah. And I could get a sandwich for $4. Yeah, Chicago was cheap. But now, you know, rents in most cities are $15,000, $2,000 a month. $1,500, that'd be super cheap. Right. And so, you know, when you're making $500 a week driving Uber, well, there's your entire salary going to rent. So you have to live at home.

And it's, I think, a little more constricting to live at home and be an artist. Yeah, yeah. You know, not feel like the freedom that you kind of need to create. Yeah. So, but then you have cities like, I was just in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

It's funny you say Tulsa because I have often heard, because when you say do something creative, but go away from the major sort of cultural headquarters, Tulsa is one of the first ones that anybody ever talks about. Like there's apparently a very thriving music and art scene. Now is the time to go. Real estate is cheap. I just went there for,

we went because we wanted to see Springsteen and tickets in LA were like $700. And my friend goes, you know, I just looked at an app, you can get tickets for $24 in Tulsa, Oklahoma. We can get an Airbnb for about 200 bucks for six of us. And the Bob Dylan Museum is there. Oh wow.

And so it was the Woody Guthrie Museum. So we were like- Why is the Bob Dylan Museum in Tulsa? Because of Woody Guthrie, he's from Tulsa. And Bob Dylan always said, if you make a museum of mine, I want it attached to Woody Guthrie's. Oh, okay.

So we flew out, about eight of us flew out, and the city was popping. They've got this river that they just built all these parks along and you can get a city bike on any corner and they've got gastropubs and art galleries and music venues. It's like, you know, it's kinda cool

and it's got that western feel that I think people like. That's what I like about Austin. You know, you got a little bit of a, you know, Americana. It is moving to an island though. I mean, and my, you know, like my son's gay, so I don't know. Cause he has mentioned things like that. He's like, you know, get out of,

he mentioned a couple of years ago, get out of college, get a job, like a studio job or something, you know, just kind of, just some kind, you know, cause there's art jobs out there that aren't particularly satisfying. Yeah. But they have dental and healthcare. And he said, maybe get one of those, save up some money

and then move to one of those little cities where you can do art and live cheaply. Right. But it is a problem, you know, it is a, like you are moving to an island. Yeah, that's true. And it's like, it's the same, you know, living in Austin is great and stuff, it is a, like you are moving to an island. Yeah, that's true. And it's like, it's the same, you know, living in Austin is great and stuff,

but you are, if you want your kids to go to public school, they gotta learn Bible shit in their, you know, in their textbooks. Right. It may be a bubble, but that bubble doesn't go very far. Yeah, yeah. I always, like I said once, like being in Austin is sitting next to a fun gay cousin at a Romney wedding. Like it's, it may seem like fun, but like it is not a complete picture.

Wait till you go to the buffet line. Of the entire room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. No, that's true. But I don't know, there's also an argument that you are going to go there and by virtue of being a person that people admire and you're friends with, that you're going to go there and by virtue of being a person that people admire and friends with that you're gonna change that mentality a little bit. That's true if you have a pioneer spirit yeah yeah it's yeah it will see in November. Right. I think that'll be a big a big decision you know a big decision maker. I know. Jesus. So here's some other things I wanna talk to you.

Oh, we gotta play some golf soon, by the way. Definitely, yeah. We haven't played in a long time. I have not, I haven't played in. I know it's tough for the little kids. Yeah, it's tough with the little kid. And I mean, and just, you know, we bought a house together and it's an old house that we're living in

while it's being renovated. Oh yeah, you got no time. Just lots of stuff going on. But I still live in Pasadena. Oh, I love Pasadena. Yeah, I never thought I'd have a reason to live there, but Jan, our daughter was going to school there. Like when I met her,

she had already enrolled her in a school in Pasadena. Amazing. And Jan was living in East LA. She owned a house here. She's from here originally. And she had been living in London for 10 years and moved back to have a baby. And she bought a house, renovated it in East LA.

And she thought, oh yeah, Pasadena will be easy. Ugh. To get from basically Boyle Heights to Pasadena, you know, it was like 45 minutes minimum at rush hour. So we were looking at houses closer and we found this beautiful old house in Pasadena. We didn't even think we would be able to afford Pasadena. So we basically bought a haunted house. We bought a house that was built in 1907 that nobody had done anything to for 40 years. So it needs everything.

But we got it livable and we still are, we're still living in the like 1975 kitchen and the yard is still, when we moved in, the yard was this high. So there's a lot of work in front of us, but I love living in old houses. I like bringing old houses back to life. Are you handy with that stuff?

Do you know what you're doing? Yeah, somewhat. That's cool. This is from hanging a ceiling fan. Okay. And then I actually was at the emergency room yesterday for this because it wasn't just a cut, there was something wedged in there and it was not healing. So it's like I had to go and I was just like,

just shoot it up with something and dig around in there please. All right, thank you, goodbye. So yeah, I can do some minor electrical stuff, I can do some plumbing stuff. But the best is having a sense that you're not getting ripped off by the people that are working for you. Oh absolutely. I called someone in to get an estimate for hanging the ceiling fans and a couple other things It's a lot. Yeah. Yeah, I got an estimate for ceiling fan. I was shocked Yeah, but it's one of those things where if you don't do it, right, you've now got a helicopter flying through your living room Yeah, no, and you could but also too there's so much on the internet that you can educate yourself with.

And even, you know, and like when I had the electrician give the estimate, I like, you know, sort of probed his mind a little bit about like just to make sure that I was doing it right. Right. Like how much weight will the thing like this support? Yeah. Oh, okay. Right, right, right.

So, but yeah, I can do some of that stuff. Let's also talk about the, oh wait, where is it? Oh, Elf, I wanna talk about, you were talking about your son like, going into the art world in more of a corporate sense. Yeah. And it makes me think immediately of you in Elf.

And that job, to me, you fucking nailed what my vision of myself, if I had not gone into stand-up comedy. Yeah, yeah. People that you meet at parties and go, I'm a creative, and they work at an ad agency, and you just can see. That's probably what I would have done if I didn't have the nerve to just go, yeah, all right, I'll try this.

Because there was a lot of, you know, the questions that my parents would ask me, like, what's the future in this? I'd be like, nah, I don't know. And if I hadn't had just the ability to go like, I don't know. Yeah. And if I if I hadn't had like just the ability to go like, I don't know, and keep doing it, I I would probably be doing advertising. Right. You know, it's I I've directed some commercials, actually, because a guy that I was a PA with

is an EP at a production company, executive producer at a company in Chicago. And they rep me for directing commercials. And I've directed some commercials. And I have found it's still making sketches. It's still shooting. It's the same thing as going out, to do a remote sketch idea on Conan. It's written, there's props, there's people.

You're part of a crew, which is the thing that I've always loved the most about making things. Is the, like I don't, people that love live studio audiences that's just not, they're nice, I like them and I appreciate them but that's not my thing. I've always, like I always said on Conan, like, if I made the cameramen laugh then I,

if I could see them laughing behind the camera, that was like the most, like yeah, because they've heard everything I have to say. And I like that. I like making jokes that make my friends laugh. So when you're part of this little group that shows up in trucks and unpacks a bunch of stuff, and then there's a zombie character wandering through.

I still get a charge out of that. I still just like that collaborative work of making things. And it's a commercial. And you're doing it with tons of resources and money behind you. It's not like going out with a bunch of friends. I mean I haven't done any really big, big ones, but I've definitely done, it's a, you know, there's quality, like the, our lighting and camera crew on the last thing that I shot in Chicago is all the people

that shoot the bear, you know. So it's all union people. Yeah, it's all union people. They're all, you know, they're all incredibly talented and work fast and work good and it just, and like I say, to me it's just, I'm shooting a little, here's a little comedy script, get it on film in a way that's the funniest.

Yeah, I've been doing that a while. And do you get involved with the editing or are you kind of done once you direct? No, because usually that's either the production company or the agency people. I could sit in on it and I could like, but honestly that's not like, I feel like no you're gonna,

you're, you know, this thing, like yes I want it to be funny, but it also, it is purpose driven. It's supposed to sell a product. And I don't, I want that. Like that's, I don't want to lie. I want this thing. So if they think this is the way

this is gonna sell this product, that's, they are fulfilling the purpose probably better than I would. Yeah, and it's not just the ad agency. You've got a lot of cooks in the kitchen. You got the, you got Budweiser is sitting there. And you know, they gotta think about the network and is it gonna pass, you know. And I often like I you know I I gotta get I gotta go do

something else you know so it's like I don't and that was I you know I've directed commercials over the years but like when I was working for Conan it was really hard to schedule it because they you know they want you for two weeks yeah just you know for like two hours a day for the first six days and then, you know, full days for four or five days and then editing for three, you know, three to five days. Good money, right? Yeah, it's pretty, it's pretty good. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I'm not at the point yet where I can demand a lot of, a lot of cash out of people. Yeah. I still am considered, you know, like not. A practice. Yeah, a little bit. I'm still kind of, you know, I don't have a bunch of stuff under my belt,

but I'm building a reel. And I mean, and that would be, it also would be if I could direct a comment, you know, I've done enough sitcoms that I'm very confident that I could do a good job with doing a sitcom. It's also too, you're also kind of the host of the party when you're doing a comedy and you're directing a comedy. And I can do that.

I like to have fun. I like to be in the middle of the mix. I like a workplace to be fun. So I can, you know, like I like to crack wise anyway. Just, I like, you know, making people laugh and having fun and keeping it light. And that's like a big part of the job. That's, you know, it's like you said earlier,

and it's a very nice compliment. Like I'm a good hang and that's a huge thing in show business is you're going to spend long days with people. If you're no fun to be around, you won't work. Right. I don't care what you are. I mean, yeah, of course there's like, like I don't think Robert De Niro is a laugh riot to be around.

Yeah, Daniel Day-Lewis is not good at craft services. But they're, you know, but- They're an enigma. Yeah, but they're, they have other things to bring to the table, you know what I mean? Yeah, no, I think I realized, looking back on my career, cause I've done so many different things

that are very, you know, low to middle level. But I think the one thing I've done well, like I just did Corolla and he just said, I'm the most frequent guest in his history. I've done 97 appearances. I did 50 on Stern, I've been on Rogan 23 times. And I think I'm like you, I'm a great guest. I don't know that I'm the star of a sitcom or a movie,

but I'm a good hang. So you talked about the bear. As a Chicago guy, what would you say are the best three TV shows or movies out of Chicago, based on Chicago? Oh, that are like, you mean the most Chicago-y? Yeah. All right, now let's just go best. Well, the first one is Thief,

the movie Thief, the James Conn movie Thief. Oh, the He's a Safecracker. Yeah, he's a jewel thief. Yeah, that was a great movie. Michael Mann directed that. That is so, that was very inspirational because that came out when I was kind of admitting to myself that I wanted to be in show business.

And because it was so Chicago, it made it seem not only cool and fantastic and had James Kahn, who then I got to work with in Elf, which was a fucking thrill. Oh, right. You know, got to be pals with James Kahn. Yeah, it's so cool. It was very inspirational and made it seem possible. Blues Brothers is very Chicago and in a way that's big and commercial and silly,

but it does have a very kind of Chicago feel. It explores the city, the suburbs. Yeah, yeah. And then, I mean, I would, I going to say my bodyguard has a good Chicago feel to it too. That movie. But I'm sure that on the drive home I'll be like, no, I'm forgetting that one. Was the Untouchables Chicago? Yes.

Yeah. It was, but that, you know, that didn't feel real Chicago, you know what I mean? I mean, I don't mean to, you know, like, it just, that was such a stylized, old-fashioned kind of movie that there were Chicago locations and stuff, but it didn't feel super Chicago. You know, another, The Fugitive is very Chicago. There's a lot of very Chicago-y stuff. And it's also great when you hear Chicago voices. Yeah, well that's what I care. Like anything with Dennis Farina in it.

Yeah, yeah. You're just gonna, it's Chicago. Right, right, right. Best three New York movies or TV shows. Taxi Driver. Or TV shows. Mmm. Taxi driver. Mmm. Ah.

Taxi driver. I guess Seinfeld is very New York-y. It's a very white New York-y. Yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah, yeah. Um. And then, jeez. What would be another good... King of New York with Christopher Walken?

Yeah, that's good. And then, jeez, what would be another good... King of New York with Christopher Walken? Yeah, that's good. The Godfather. After Hours is very New York-y, I think. Right. Sex in the City. Nails it as far as my experience there goes. Friends, I mean, when I lived there, it was just like friends.

I had, we all matched up, we were extremely good looking. And we seemed to make a lot of money at menial jobs. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's weird, because there does seem to be a lot of times, like the divide between, like you said, the very white experience of New York, and then also that thing that everybody talks about.

It's like, she's a struggling actress, barely making it on her waitress salary. Look at her 17 room apartment. And how they eat out at restaurants almost every night. And then on the, but then it's like, there's not a lot in the middle. And then there's like, heroin junkies on the, basketball then it's like, there's not a lot in the middle. And then there's like, you know, heroin junkies on the, you know, basketball diaries, you know,

sucking dick for change so you could buy heroin that might kill you, you know. It's like, there's not, there's not, there's just not a lot of like, you know, like I, well, I work for an insurance agency and I, you know, I live on the Upper East Side, Side you know I guess it's maybe not a great story all right remember Hill Street Blues oh yeah that was a really good one that was really good yeah finally best let's go Philadelphia movies. Oh Jesus. I don't even, well Rocky, Rocky II, Rocky IV.

I don't know, gosh, Philadelphia. Well you got. Johnny Tremaine. I don't remember that. No, that was Boston. It's an old Disney, like historical. It's just a movie that I loved when I was a kid. It's about a boy that like I loved when I was a kid. It's about a boy

that I think he ended up being like Paul Revere's apprentice and it's all like an American revolutionary story but that's Boston. Philadelphia story. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh and that's Philadelphia. Philadelphia story is Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn. Right. Right. Was that a Capra film? Frank Capra film? I think it was. Yeah. I think it was. I'm trying to think of other Philly stories of it. Oh, they had that one, the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. No, not that.

That was Long Island. No, Jennifer, what's her name? De Niro was in it. They were Big Eagles fans. Oh, yeah, Jennifer Lawrence. Jennifer Lawrence. Anybody? Silver Linings.

Silver Linings Playbook. Silver Linings Playbook. That was a great film. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then are we signing in Philadelphia? Yeah, that's true. Yep.

Yep. We don't, it's funny, we don't like people from Philadelphia but we love watching them in TV and movie. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well they, yeah we love watching them in TV and movie. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, they have a reputation. They do. Of being violent.

But I'll tell you what, man, I fucking love it. I work at club in Philly, and it's my second favorite club in the country. And the people just, it's Irish and Italians. Yeah, yeah. I like when you put them together. Boston, Philly, the Bronx. They just have life to them. They have an edge. They can

take a joke. They can yell at you from the audience in a funny way. I love hecklers. I don't mind people get, I don't want to be the guy, oh it's an hour, shut up. Everybody just listen to me. Now I want to hear about you a little bit. Yeah, my friend Tommy Blacha worked for Vince McMahon. The WWE. Booked, which means thought up the storylines for Vince McMahon for a couple of years and traveled with him. And I asked him what was the worst crowds,

just in terms of not not not not like not a tenant but just like the scariest and he said by far I think I think it was Worcester Massachusetts because he said that like every every female wrestler that would come on it would be like you fucking whore you know and like just every you know like how wrestling just sort of just every, you know, like how wrestling just sort of touches on different, you know, like this character might be gay, and you know, of course, you know, ah, just everything, there's no hooray.

It's all this like red faced rage. Yeah, I was in Worcester once and a fight broke out that lasted, I want to say six minutes. Wow. Most fights are 20 to 25 seconds. 25 seconds, yeah. Somebody stops or somebody, you know, intercedes. Yeah.

No, this was, I just remember that the club was half empty. So they put up one of those xylophone doors to close off the back of the room. Right, right. And they went through that. It was like a movie. It was two gangs of guys. And it's just a post-industrial factory town.

The factories closed, everybody's drunk all the time. It was a Polynesian restaurant where you drink, you know, you get those wooden bowls. The big punch bowl, yeah, yeah. And you get four straws. No, each person got their own punch bowl. Wow. And the joke that started the fight.

Oh, you started the fight? No, well, no. Oh, oh, oh. I did a joke on stage where I go, Father's Day was coming up. And I said, I've got a card. It's a deadbeat Father's Day card. And I can't remember the punch line, but I read. And some guy yells out, hey, I'm a deadbeat dad,

and I don't appreciate that. And somebody goes, sit down, asshole, and just. That was it? Two crowds just converted. They must have been high school rivals because it happened like that. It was like dry Tinder. And they went through that wall, they called the police,

it took them six minutes to get there. And I'm announcing the fight. I stayed on stage. I'm like, he hit him with a chair. He hit him with a chair. I stayed on stage. I'm like, he hit him with a chair. He hit him with a chair. Yeah, that's a whole different mode of communication.

Yeah, fighting. Like, you know, it's like, I've always said, cause I had, especially like on the south side of Chicago, it was a different, cause I would say like, there's a, it's just an added in. Like somebody says something, you could say yes, you could say no, you could say, I don't appreciate that. You could say, fuck you. Or you could hit them in the face.

Like, and just like I've never had in my toolkit, hit them in the face. That's never been an option communication wise. You know? Yeah, that was always a big one for me. Was it? Yeah, I was a punch him in the face guy. But I always hung out with big guys. Yeah, my roommates were football players. Were a punch him in the face guy. Oh. But I always hung out with big guys.

Oh. Yeah, my roommates were football players. But were they punch him in the face? No, they would just break up the fight I started. Oh, oh. I'd get in a couple shots and they'd break it up. Yeah. Wow. Well, I hope the therapy's helped.

It has. Okay, good. Next podcast, we're gonna talk about therapy. We're gonna close it out with a thing called Fits Dog, Fastballs with Fits. All right. You're not the only one that has a little gimmick on your podcast. I don't have any gimmicks. Three questions. Good conversation, that's all it is. Let's plug the podcast. Honesty and truth. Three questions available on Conan's network. Yes,

well wherever you know. Anywhere, Spotify. Yeah, and it's on SiriusXM. One would think I would know when, but I don't. I think it's Tuesdays. But with the app on Sirius, you can listen to old programs. You can listen to it wherever. But you can, you know, anywhere. Podcasts are available.

And Phone Calls with Andy Richter is the other one? The Andy Richter call-in show, and that will be starting, I believe, in June, so soon. Well, no, this will probably come out at the beginning of June so this is perfect. Okay. Yeah. Here we go. Have you ever saved somebody's life? Well I mean I uh had a barbecue once. My niece, I walked by the pool and I saw her with the water here going, like her floaties had come off or something.

So, and I was fully dressed and just walked in and picked her up. But like she was not yelling, she didn't wanna make any trouble for anybody. Let's wake her up. And I just happened to be outside and was like, oh, there's a drowning child there. That's hilarious. She would have died rather than upset people.

Maybe, I don't know. Or probably, I think it was probably more like didn't want to admit that she'd made a mistake or something. Does she ever remember that and thank you? Do you guys talk about it? No, no. Just kind of happens. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You may want to bring that up at some point, but I'll thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. There's two types of people in this world. Go. Problem makers and problem solvers.

Interesting. Yeah. And you're a solver. I like to think so. Yeah. I think I straddle that. Yeah. But I think I only make problems when there's already a problem. Yeah. Yeah. The other way I look at it is there are peacemakers and there are war makers. And what do you want to be? Right, right, right. You got to pick a side at this point. What do you want to be? Right, right, right.

You gotta pick a side at this point. Finally, have you ever not finished a show, one of your improv shows, where you guys are on stage, bad audience or whatever? There has to have been something like a fire alarm or something pulled. There were, in Chicago in the winter time, a lot of, you know, like there's things you can't,

cause like the heat's out. Yeah. You know, like,'s there things you can't cuz like the heat's out Yeah, you know like and if it's ten below it's like yeah, you're not gonna do a show But you never walked off you guys never ended it. No, no the only no The closest I can come to that is when I for a while because I have friends friends from improv like David Kechner and Tim Meadows, you know, old, old friends of mine that have branched into standup. Yeah.

And they enjoy it and it's a good way, you know, it's a way when you're not doing anything else to go and make some money, you know? And I thought, yeah, I should probably do that. And so I was kind of half-ass practicing at it. And at the San Francisco Sketch Fest one year, which I've done a bunch of those, I was emceeing at Cobbs Comedy Club

a night of Conan-related standups, either standups that had been on the show, or our writers, some of our writers who were standups. Brian Kiley. Yeah, it was like Laurie Kilmartin. I don't know if Brian did it, either stand-ups that had been on the show, or our writers, some of our writers who were stand-ups. Brian Kiley. Yeah, it was like Laurie Kilmartin. I don't know if Brian did it, but Andre Dubuchet did it. But I definitely know Laurie Kilmartin was there,

and I was hosting this thing, and I was supposed to do like 10 to 15 at the top, something like that. And I was, you know, doing my stuff, and just in the middle of it, I felt like, I don't like this. I don't like being out here on my own, telling stuff I've told before.

I'm like, I don't really, I don't, this isn't for me, you know? And I cut it short, like I just said like, well, okay. And I mean, and I wasn't doing that great anyway. I mean, not that wasn't doing that great anyway. I mean, not that that even was the reason. It just was, I just was like, I don't want to do, you know. You know, it's like eating something that you don't like.

No, I don't want that. And, and I had to, I want to say it was a Parna Nantrula was on next. And I, I like was like, all right, well coming up next. And I think she had to like scramble cause she was expecting another five minutes out of me. But I just was like, you right, well, coming up next. And I think she had to scramble, because she was expecting another five minutes out of me. But I just was like, you know, that's it. And that was the last time I ever sort of attempted

to do stand-up. Well, as a stand-up who's constantly competing against too many other comics out there, I thank you for dismounting early. That's the other thing, is I would feel dilettante-ish. Yeah. You know, it's the same way that like, I didn't get into podcasting for a long time

because of people like you and Jimmy Pardo and Scott Aukerman who are friends of mine who truly set out in the beginning of podcasting to do podcasting, that I didn't wanna be like, oh, I'm the guy from TV. You know, like I have a TV job and I'm gonna come in. I wanna try it too. Cause I I have a TV job and I'm gonna come in I want to try it too Because I would have a built-in promotion thing and I just would have a leg up over people that had really you know

Worked it and I so I always was like, yeah Yeah, and I got I got separated from my wife and I was like, you know, I got to start doing some stuff I gotta start saying yes to things. So I was like and the worst part, when I, because people had been saying, like my manager and, you know, team Richter, they had been saying, you know, you should do a podcast, you should do a podcast.

And I was always like, I know, but I don't know. And then like I say, it was just cause I felt embarrassed. I think it's pretty organic for you. This is your world, broadcasting and embarrassing. Yeah, blabbing, yeah. But I was like, all right, I will do it. And I came up with the idea for the three questions and I was like, yep, let's do it. And literally like three days after I said, yeah, I'm going to do a podcast, I hear, hey, Conan's going to do a podcast. Yeah, great.

I was like, god damn it. Can I have anything? So, you know, and now, and I think I'm getting like 40,000 downloads, which is embarrassing. That's great. Yeah, that's amazing. I asked out of curiosity somebody, I'm like, what is Conan getting? They're like, oh, well over a million. Yeah, yeah. Oh boy. Right. I don't know what to, you know. God bless him. God bless the guy though. I mean, I don't mean to, you know,

I don't mean to be bitchy cause I love him a ton, but I mean, but it is kind of like, it is, you know, it's like, I really understand what being a showbiz spouse is like. Yes. Being Conan's partner made me understand what it's like to be married to me. Yeah.

You know, like go to a party and everyone's to talk to me but doesn't want to, you know, is like, oh hi, and then blah blah blah. I understand that. They want to talk to Ricky, not Lucy. Yeah. And that's, and I, you know, and I get that when I'm out with, like there's so many times when people are like, I love the show, I want to see the show, and then they hand me the phone to take the picture of the two of them.

You know? Which I don't, you know, I don't care about it. It's just, it's funny to me that like, or they'll be like, I, till Conan, I love the show, it's so great. I love this, you know? Like, not, you know, not like, cause there is that conversation where somebody goes,

and Andy, oh, I love you too, you know? But it's just like, I love the show. Anyway, you too. You know, but it's just like, I love the show. Anyway. Well, listen, I love you more than Conan, and I'd have you on before him any day of the week. Thank you. And the new podcast, you're gonna get another 40,000 people after this podcast.

I hope so. You'll see. Yeah, yeah. Good luck with the shows. Thank you, as always, for your time. Thank you, Greg. It's great seeing you, and I'm glad Thank you as always for your time. Thank you, Greg. It's great seeing you. And I'm glad that you're out of your house.

I'm out of my, oh. Yeah, yeah. Is that where you did the show last time? Yeah, that's the last time I did your show. It was still in your house. Yeah, now this is much better, isn't it? It gets, yeah. It's a little warm.

It's a little warm, but it's so good to get out of the house. Yes. It's so good to get out of the house. It started during the podcast, during the pandemic, I got out and never went back. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's better for the house too.

Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. They appreciate me going. Yeah. All right. All right. Thank you. Thank you. You