Fitzdog Radio - Going Solo Today - Episode 1066

Episode Date: August 28, 2024

Finally! My new standup special “You Know Me” is out today and I am very proud of it. Check it out on my YouTube page http://bit.ly/FitzYouKnowMeLOVE it if you would leave a comment and spread the word. Oh yeah, and I recorded a pretty sweet podcast by myself today.

Welcome to Fitts Dogg Radio. It's a very exciting day. Today is after much publicity, much effort, much editing, much pulling my hair out, The You Know Me special is now live. I'm very excited. It's on my YouTube page. Just go to Greg Fitzsimmons comedy on YouTube. Boom. Comment. Like it, share it, tell people about it.

This is the first special I've done in many, many years. And I feel like it's, whatever, I don't need to sell you guys. You guys are the people that have stood by me through a lot of years, and I'm hoping that now you will really support me. By the way, you can support me. There's a donations tab on the YouTube page. You know, throw in a couple bucks, two or three bucks.

I went deep in the hole on this special with no real chance of earning it back. Whatever you want to throw in. Or just watch it for free. I don't care. I'm just happy that you're seeing it. I'm very proud of it. Subscribe. Do all that stuff. I want to thank Deadline Hollywood, did a nice announcement about it, nice piece. Cracked Magazine wrote a piece. Ari Shafir has been incredibly supportive. His podcast goes up today. Mark Maron's went up yesterday. Well, actually, you're hearing this on Wednesday, so I don't know, whatever. A lot of podcasts going up this week. I'm in Austin right now. It's currently Monday when I'm taping this,

so tonight I'll do Kill Tony, tomorrow I do Rogan, Wednesday I do Shane Gillis, well Shane won't be there, but I'm doing it with Matt, his partner on his podcast. Tom and Christina, it's crazy, it's crazy. And then a bunch of people are putting them out. I know Neil Brennan's putting his out of me this week. Benson came out today, the Benson's podcast. And then I'm doing Bert Kreischer next week,

Ryan Sickler next week, Sant then I'm doing Bert Kreischer next week, Ryan Sickler next week, Santino I think comes out this week, Pete Holmes in a couple weeks, did Legion of Skanks, I did Norton, and Sam, David Cross just had me on, and then in a couple weeks I'm going to go in and do We Might Be Drunk. So the words should be out there. Let's try to hit, I don't know, what's a fair amount? 300,000? I'd like to get 300,000, but why don't you surprise me

and get me a million views? And then I can start to sell some more tickets on the road, make some bonuses, maybe start paying back, whatever. Listen, I was reading an article in the New Yorker today about one of these British think tanks that did a study about the funniest jokes of all time, which first of all, you're British, so you're about a decade and a half behind on jokes. British jokes are not funny,

but they're determining it based on people writing in. And here, you can be the judge. This was, they had something like 40,000 people send in jokes and vote. Number one joke was this. Guy goes to the doctor, doctor says, check some ounces, does not look good at all. And the guy goes, really?

He's like, how bad is it? Doctor said it's bad. The guy says, well, how long do I have? And the doctor says 10. And the guy goes, 10 months, 10 weeks. Doctor goes 10, nine, eight, seven. I don't know how many numbers to say because I can't tell if you're laughing at that or not.

So yeah, I've been kinda like reading and reading the New Yorker's Kick lately. to say because I can't tell if you're laughing at that or not. Yeah, I've been kinda like reading the New Yorker's Kick lately. There's always interesting articles in there. But I don't know. I really, I need some stuff to talk about on Rogan tomorrow. Who knows? Who knows where that's gonna go? I've done, this is my 23rd time on the show,

but you get a little nervous. There's a lot of people listening, and there's a lot of people that talk shit. I never go on Reddit. Never, if you're gonna shit talk me on Reddit, good luck, I won't be there. I'm not listening. That's on you.

I will be just thinking about whether or not I felt connected and whether or not I thought it was fun. That's all I care about. So I'm here in Austin, and of course, Joe puts you in the best hotel in the city. I'm embarrassed to even say what it costs a night. And it's a suite, as you can see, and they give you so many nice things.

You know, a big fruit plate, and they give you like free breakfast at their gourmet restaurant. But then I realized, I'm on the road for three weeks straight right now, and this is my middle week, so I've run out of laundry. So I went, so I, they have a laundry bag and I put in just like five days worth of laundry, because that'll get me to my next gig, and then I can do laundry there. And so five t-shirts, five pairs of socks, five pairs of underwear, $103. Hey now. But they folded it really nice and they put it in a wicker basket with the scented towel on top.

So it was very nice. And I realized like I could literally have bought five pairs of socks, underwears, and t-shirts. I mean, for what I spend, I mean, I get a Ross dress for less. I feel so out of place at this hotel right now. It is just like, I mean, I don't know, I see the, like, just the staff,

they're all, like, better looking and more confident than I am. They all have a sense of calm and sort of, I don't know, not entitlement in a bad way, but like they deserve to be in this hotel and I don't. I'm just like, can I, how do I, is water included? It's just so weird.

I felt more comfortable when I was, I was in Louisville this past weekend, and I was in a hotel that was like, it was a nice Marriott, but it had a pool table in the lounge. And I've got to say, Louisville people, fucking great. I'm not gonna lie to you, I could potentially live in Louisville. It's fun, they got a nice little strip. People were sweet, very diverse. I had this black woman sitting in the front row with her husband of 25 years, same as me, so we celebrated.

And then I chatted with her, she was very sweet, but she kind of had a rough life. She's working as a waitress now, and you know, whatever. We talked about some stuff. And then I said, you know what? I said, you just emanate love. And I said, I want to give you a pin. So I have these pins that I sell after my show, the Greg Fitzsimmons tour pin. Many of you probably have them. And so I said to her, I want to give you this pin. And she was in the front row and I handed it to her. And she took it in her hand and then she put her head down and she started to cry. And she kept crying for like 10 minutes.

Not like sobbing, but there were tears coming down her face like nobody had done something kind for her in a while. And it really made me think like, I gotta stop doing that shit, cause that was distracting. I mean, I'm trying to get laughs here. I don't need fucking waitresses crying in the front row. It was very sweet. And then after the show she gave me this huge hug, like a long deep hug. It was very sweet.

It's nice. Once in a while you touch people. It feels good. And the Louisville people, I think I went in there with a little bit of a preconception of what it was going to be, that it was going to be, I don't know, a bunch of MAGA Christians. And it was not at all. I mean, it was, I'm sure, but I realized that like, so what, what am I gonna not do political jokes? Or I have a lot of jokes about Christianity right now for some reason, I'm just going through a little phase.

And I realized like, so do them. What are you gonna be a pussy and only do them when you're surrounded by like-minded people? This is where you do it. And so I was doing stuff about God. I was talking about, well I was talking about like, how Christians are very, it just, the particular brand of anti-woke Christians,

the ones that don't believe in what they call mainstream media. Now they do believe in the Bible, which for, I don't know, 1100 years was mainstream media, was literally the only book, it was the book, it was where you got your facts from, and it's what everybody lived by. And now they believe that, but they don't believe shit that was just refreshed on their Yahoo or their whatever Bloomberg or whatever news source you have. They don't believe that. And that they instead believe facts that were jotted down,

like not even during Jesus' life, or the Old Testament was thousands of years before that, millions of years ago, I don't remember the numbers. But none of it was written down right away. It's always like a letter from Paul to the Corinthians. Okay, so this guy Paul writes a letter, which was 100 years after Jesus died, so it's fifth hand that he's heard a story, and they're quoting the verbiage, the exact verbiage of a man shall not lie down with a man.

Like, come on, it's Paul. He's writing a letter. I did jokes about the Democratic convention. I was talking about how much more fun it would be, because nobody cares about who the VP is. What's this guy, Walls? You know, they're trying to swift boat him. And ultimately, the vice president does not hurt

or help the president, with the exception of maybe Sarah Palin, who I believe sunk McCain's candidacy. But it's very rare that the VP has anything to do with how people vote. And so I thought it might be more fun if each party got to pick the other party's vice presidential nominee, Just to kind of

handicap the field. And they would pick for, the Republicans would pick for the Democrats Hunter Biden. And then the Democrats for the Republicans would pick JD Vance, same guy. I don't think we could do any better, JD Vance. I did some jokes about, I think I put my Olympics jokes to bed. I think it's now August 26th, we're done with the Olympics. But I said, you know, the Paralympics were going on at the same time as the regular Olympics. And man, said, the Para Olympics were going on at the same time

as the regular Olympics, and man, you think the regular Olympics are competitive. Wait till you see those Para Olympians fighting for those two handicap spots outside the arena. Ba da da da da da, thank you, Johnny. Where do I sit? And they also have a lot of horse racing down in Louisville. I was talking about how I think that horse racing is the business model. As we see the NFL coming now, and you

hear about the contracts that some of these athletes have, they're just so disproportionate. Then I thought, what about the business model of horse racing? Maybe all sports should be the same way, because it's high stakes. If you're a horse and you win the race, you get to fuck the hottest other horses. You get to go stud. That's the payoff, if you get injured, you die. Let's do that for the NFL. If you win the game, you get to pick anybody in the stands, even the cheerleaders, who by the way are not as hot as they used to be. There's a lot of plus-size women, a lot of fugly size women. There's a lot of women that you don't necessarily,

I mean, call me sexist, go ahead, call me sexist. I like 10 hot cheerleaders, what's wrong with that? And then, wait, I got a lot I wanna talk about. This is a solo podcast, which I planned on doing for a long time on the day that my special came out so I could connect with you guys. When I was in Louisville, I decided to watch some porn. Quote unquote, watch some porn.

That's a nice way of guys saying, you know. So I log on to X Hamster, that's my spot, and a full screen thing comes up from the government telling me that I'm not allowed to watch porn unless I jump through a couple, I'm not making this up, people have been to the South, I literally, they wanted me to take a photo of myself. They actually expected that in order to watch pornography, I was gonna allow my computer to take my picture

and do what with it? I have no idea. Do they keep the camera on after that? I don't know. But what an insane thing to ask of you. So I did it and then I couldn't believe I did it. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you? What kind of a perv are you? So, but now that, and then I got to Texas

and they told me that in Texas it's the same thing. So I haven't tried it yet here in Texas, but maybe I'll celebrate tomorrow. See what I can pull up. I gotta be careful what I talk about. I don't know who, my podcast used to be just for a bunch of pervs. Used to be for a bunch of guys like me.

You know, it was like me and Rogan and a few people doing podcasts and just listeners that were like, and now it's like my mother listens and my wife luckily does not ever. But, you know, different people. My brother said he listened. Who knows, I think my daughter,

well my daughter's there when I interview people. She is interning at the studio that I record my interviews and I love having her there, but it definitely affects some of the things that I say when I talk to people. I definitely hold back a little bit, but I don't care, maybe that's good for me. Maybe I need to reel it in a little bit.

I'm just getting a little old for this kind of, I'm thinking cheerleading should all be hot. Shut up, you bald wrinkled little man. Just be normal after all these years. just be normal after all these years. I was driving, I took, I've been on, I went from LA to New York, Ubered all over New York, Ubered to the airport, Ubered to the hotel here in Austin, Ubered out to dinner with Adam Eaglet last night,

and I just, my Uber bill is gonna be insane at the end of the month. And I don't know if I told you guys, I had an Uber recently where the driver had his phone on the dashboard and he's driving me, does not speak a word of English. He's got some other language going on his Uber directions thing.

And he's watching, he's watching Bollywood. He's watching a Bollywood movie. He's got a second phone next to the first one with a Bollywood movie. Like while he's driving me through the city, and I'm thinking I should give this guy one star, but it was a good fucking movie, so I didn't.

It was actually really entertaining, and it made me wanna watch Bollywood, and you realize how much money these Indians put into these fucking movies. It's crazy. It's like big set pieces with costumes and thousands of people on screen. I don't know what's going on, but it's like seeing opera.

I used to go see opera when I was young and I fucking loved, I love opera. It was all in Italian. I don't know what anybody was saying, but I got it. I felt it in my heart. Tosca, I remember I watched Tosca, I might have cried. I remember I was like 13 and I didn't want my friends to see me but I was crying.

There's a death scene in Tosca that puts chills down your spine. Did Legion of Skanks with those lunatics, Jay and Dave and Louie Gomez. And they say things, we did it live in front of a crowd at the stand, comedy club. And the thing is I go into that and I always go, all right, don't do it this time. Don't take the bait. Don't say shit that you're gonna regret later. And so sure enough, I start, I said some shit.

Oh my God. It's gonna haunt me. The things I said are gonna haunt me. But you can't help it, because I'm getting no laugh. Bonnie McFarland was on and she's great, because she hangs back. She doesn't take the bait bait and she's still hilarious. But then I'm not getting laughs and so all of a sudden I start going dark and then I'm getting laughs and I'm just lapping

it up and going further and then I finish and I'm like, oh what did you just do? do. I had a nice talk with David Cross. We started together and we went deep about Boston. Did a lot of, Marin also was a lot of talking deep about Boston. Boston was a very, it was a very special time. Somebody should make a documentary about the comedy scene in Boston. Somebody did it about the scene in the late 70s, early 80s at the Ding Ho. Guy named Frans Alameda made a movie called When Stand-Ups Stood Up, I think, or Stood Out. But somebody needs to do one about the late 80s through the 90s and all the comics and all the stories.

It was a very special, it's like, what's his name, Malcolm Gladwell talks about outliers, and that there's certain times and places where something happens that you can't explain where the creativity, you know, they talk about Jewish, I guess mostly men, in the 1950s coming out of like, you know, City of New York, college, CUNY,

and just the success that they had going on to, you know, Holocaust survivors and what they've accomplished. And anyway, so not that, look, we're comedians telling dick jokes for people eating fried fish. We're not Holocaust survivors. I'm not trying to make a comparison

to me and Louis C.K. and Bill Burr. We're not Holocaust survivors by any stretch of the imagination. It was rough though, it was rough. And there were nights we went hungry, oh yeah. And we did take the train to gigs. Sometimes we had to take the train out to Lake Newton. the train out to Lake Newton.

And then I did a show on a guy named Jim Kerr, who if you don't live in New York, you don't know who Jim Kerr is, but New York City Radio had a station called WPLJ, which was huge in the 70s and the 80s, and I think up until recently. But when I was a kid, that's what was tuned in in the school bus at the Tarrantown Lake where we used to skate on your home radio,

on your little transistor, WPLJ. And it played, it's the first time you heard Bruce Springsteen, it's the first time you heard The Clash, and it was, I mean, W.A.W. was harder rock. P.L.J. was like pop rock, but it still introduced you to a lot of great bands. And so Jim Kerr was one of the main guys that I listened to growing up.

And so he had me on his show. He has a show on SiriusXM right now. And I was just so thrilled and intimidated to sit down with this guy whose voice I knew so well, and he's still going, he's been doing it for like 50 years, and still excited, still passionate, going strong. I'm not even sure what channel that was. Oh no, it was at the Sirius XM Studios,

but it's actually a New York station that I did, so it's already gone out. I did Bennington, Ron Bennington, who's amazing, does a show, I think that's coming out next week on SiriusXM. Sam and Jim was fun. I made a joke about trans people forgetting about Jim's wife being a trans woman, which he doesn't give a shit.

He yelled at me, but in a funny way. And those guys are great. Hung out with Big Jay. I did Big Jay's show, The Bonfire. Bobby Kelly was not there, unfortunately, but David Tell sat in, so the three of us had a lot of yucks. We yucked it up. and then went downtown to the village and did some stand-up comedy.

And then, so I'm down at the cell. I did a bunch of shows at the comedy cell while I was in town. And I run into T.J. Miller, who is one of the funniest, smartest guys that I know. And so I'm talking to him for a long time, a long time, like a couple hours. And then he said he's coming up to LA.

I said, well, dude, hit me up when you're out in LA. Let's hang out. And so he goes, okay, great, let me text you. And so he says to me, what's your texts? And I go, you have my texts. And I go, and I made some joke about how, sometimes people don't answer you on texts. And so he pulls up our text chain,

and it was three texts from him to me that I had not responded to over the last year. And I was so embarrassed. And he was like, dude, what the fuck? Like he hadn't even realized that I'd ghosted him. And so I texted him back and I made a joke, and then he made a joke, but I ultimately didn't know if we're good.

I hope to God that we're okay. I'm just so bad. I'm so bad with communicating, especially if I'm on the road and I'm doing three podcasts a week and on the road and I'm trying to keep a marriage going, trying to keep a fatherhood going, trying to keep friendships going. Sometimes I just don't get back to people. It doesn't mean anything. I think to myself, I wanted to really make myself nut because I know how it hurts. Sometimes I text somebody and they ghost me and I really, it's like almost a relationship ender. Like Bobby Kelly is actually in the middle of a ghost on me. So

if you know Bobby, tell him I'm waiting for a reply. But it hurts. And if I wanted to torture myself, I would go back through my texts and I would look for unanswered texts. And it would keep, those literally keep me awake at night. When I think about somebody not texting me back. And yet I do it to people all the time. I'm such a piece of shit. I'm such a hypocrite. Come on, Greg, stop it.

You got a new special out. Be excited. New York was a lot of talking politics. I watched the Democratic, the DNC convention. Jesus, who cares? I mean, my God, everybody's just sucking their own dicks. Both conventions, it's just so weird. And then don't bring famous people.

I mean, D.L. Hughley, is that who I'm gonna take advice from? I mean, I think D.L.'s funny as hell. I don't wanna see him on a stage talking about politics. I guess he does a show on CNN now. I don't know, what do I know about D.L. Hughley? But they didn't bring up, there was talk that Taylor Swift was gonna go up there and

I forget somebody else famous. I think it's best to not have that. But Tom O'Neill, author of Chaos, available, and it's in the top 10 for the last eight weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, Chaos, effort's been out for like five years. But he got a big boost. He feels, I shouldn't say how he feels about it.

I know how I feel about it. But Candace Owens has been promoting his book. She loves him. I'm not a huge fan of hers, but she loves Tom because it's about deep state, CIA, government suppression and stuff. And so she's been telling all of her followers to buy the book and it's put it into the top 10.

So anyway, we talked a lot about politics in New York. You know, when you're in New York, you talk politics. When you're in LA, you talk about show business. When you're here in Austin, you talk about the weather. You talk about woke culture. You talk about comedy. Had a great dinner with Adam Egan. He's the guy that books the store,

one of my dearest friends. And we sat in the back of the room. First we went out to dinner at this place called the Dead Rabbit, which is great. It's an Irish place, and they had an Irish band having a real session. We got the prime rib, some mashed potatoes, and cauliflower, I farted, god damn it,

I farted last night in bed. I couldn't even get to sleep, I was farting so much. And then we went over to the comedy store because it's open mic night, we sat in the back row, you know, he's gotta watch all the open micers, and we sat in the back. I swear to God, I have not laughed that hard. Some of them I was laughing with them.

There was a young woman, I should remember her name, dammit. I'll give her a shout out on the next podcast. She was great, and Adam passed her. Or he said, you know, put in for a veil. So she was, you could see she was sitting next to me for like an hour and 20 minutes waiting to get up and then she finally said to the host, when am I going up?

And he's like, you're next. And she like jumped up nervous. And then she went up and she was very smart, very funny, very dark. And then Adam, she came over and Adam called her over and he said, you know, call me, I'll give you some spots. And she, oh my God, what a big moment for a comedian. But some of the comedians were so bad.

Oh my God, I forgot how bad that bad comedy is. And I always say, who would go to an open mic night? Me, me, from now on, I'm going to all of them. There was a guy that got up and he was talking about, he kept saying the same word over and over again, but each bit had a different word, like one of them was trash. And he kept saying, so I was working a trash truck,

and then I threw the trash. And then I had sex with this woman on the trash. And then he just ends by going, trash, y'all. We were dying. So that was enjoyable. Can't wait to, I'm gonna be headlining there in a couple weeks. It's probably close to sold out,

so I would get your tickets now. Don't hesitate. Do not wait. Get your tickets now for that. What else do I wanna talk about? Oh, I know. Oh, so I bought my Mustang, which I'm excited about. I think I told you guys that on the last episode. I've wanted a Mustang since I was five years

old and I've stared at Mustangs my entire life. I've fetishized them. I've coveted them. And then I finally bought it. Of course I bought it and then I went away for three weeks, four days later. So I've barely been able to drive it and it's probably stripped clean in Venice right now. So I took my wife on this ride up into the Malibu Hills. And I didn't wanna buy the car because I just know that as soon as I get into an accident or somebody hits it that I'm just gonna be so bummed out.

It's almost gonna be like having like my cherished comedy album collection that I've been putting together for the last 50 years. Like if somebody were to come in and scratch my records, that's how I would feel about this car. And so, so I was like, fuck, I finally would fuck it. Live your life, just get it and what happens happens. So we buy the car and we drive up into the hills of Malibu

above Pepperdine University, and we go up to Molleholland Drive and I'm zipping through these serpentining streets, like zigzagging, crazy, and we're having a blast, and my wife's not telling me to slow down, and then we get to, she's on crutches And we're having a blast and my wife's not telling me to slow down. And then we get to, she's on crutches because she broke her foot. And then we get back home again and I'm fully grateful that I bought this car. It's everything I hoped, so fast.

And then we get out of the car and I give her her crutches and she scrapes her crutch across the door of the car and scratches it. I might have screamed fuck a couple times at the top of my lungs. And then I had this moment where my shoulders dropped and I took a breath and I looked at my wife and I looked at how bad she felt. And I said to myself, what is worth more to me right now? This car, this material thing, or me making my fucking life partner,

my best friend, feel like that. And I just gave her a hug and I said, I'm so sorry that I just yelled. And now I don't give a shit. Whatever, I mean, I'd like the car to stay nice, but who gives a fuck? It's not what's important. I mean, I tripped her.

I tripped that fucking crutch when she started walking, but she had that coming. I was thinking about how life tricks you. Like we are made, every animal, every species is designed, whether you say by God, maybe you're a pure believer in the random nature of the universe and that Darwinism is in play and that out of a million monkeys typing,

we ended up with this version of life. But we are made to survive and we do things that make us feel good. We're hedonistic, We are pleasure-seeking. And that pleasure comes in many forms. Like, even thinking about this scratching. Like I had an itch and I scratched it. I thought, why did I just scratch? Why did that feel so good? I don't know, but probably like that there's dead skin there or there could potentially be a bug rooting into my skin. Like I don't know how it goes back in nature but you scratch and it feels great.

Your body is tricking you into maintaining itself. You know how good it feels to take a good shit because that's toxin, that's poison in your body that you're expelling and so God or Darwin is tricking you into doing things. Food, are you kidding me? Who would eat? Why would you remember to eat unless the taste released endorphins? Or your body, your empty stomach relieved of pain.

You get in pain when you don't eat. And then I think about like what animals have to do. Like just to survive. Like they... I've been watching a lot of nature shows and I see these leopards or lions tracking prey. Getting you know a lion fucking attacking an alligator and getting pulled into the water and a mad scramble and water splashing and it goes on for like three minutes and then the lion comes out with this small alligator in its mouth and you're like, that motherfucker is hungry.

That dude needed a meal. He earned a meal. You look at hawks that go flying down at 100 miles an hour and land on a squirrel and pick it up with their talons. And then they're trying to eat it and then another hawk comes and attacks him and he has to fight it off to eat the squirrel meat. And then I think about us. We get led into a restaurant. Somebody literally greets us and gently walks us through a room that's dimly lit with nice music playing. And then somebody comes

over and describes your choices of what food. You don't gotta hunt it. You don't have to break a sweat. They literally just ask you which one would be your favorite and then they bring it right over and they give you a napkin. They give you some tools to eat it with. And then you just give a worthless, meaningless, weird piece of plastic that they swipe. And then you walk out. It's unbelievable. I just, I mean, look, I wasn't on, I was not high when I had this thought, but it is pretty wild, the pleasure response that drives so many of the things that we do.

Even exercise. Like I, after this podcast and before I do Kill Tony, I'm going to the gym and I'm going to work out hard. And it's going to, it's going to release all kinds of chemicals and I'm going work out hard, and it's gonna release all kinds of chemicals, and I'm gonna feel great. We used to just get that from hunting and running from shit, and it made us feel good to escape. It made us, you know, God or Darwin made endorphins come out when we escaped from fear. And now we have to put ourselves in fear.

We have to go to a gym that's completely sterilized, that's got little pins that you can adjust the weights, and it's got TV sets on treadmills so you can entertain yourself with an episode of The Office while you put it on level four and a half, which is barely even challenging yourself. And that's what we do instead of running for our lives. But we get the same kind of endorphin, that's the same endorphin release, but we get some. I don't know, there's something there. I'm gonna start talking about that on stage.

Somebody remind me. All right, and then I want to also remind you guys to check out some live shows I got coming up. I will be in Denver at the Comedy Works, my second favorite club in the country, and I'm not exaggerating, August 29th through 31 in Denver, and then I'll be in Austin at the Mother Ship the next week, Temecula at the Montserrat Winery September 21st.

I'll be in Alaska after that. Tulsa at Bricktown October 10 through 12. Then I'll be in Tacoma, San Francisco at the Punchline. Cleveland Hilarities just announced December 13th. Atlanta just announced January 9th. This winter I'll be coming to Janesville, Wisconsin, Nyack, New York, Raleigh, North Carolina, Milwaukee, Vegas, Pittsburgh. All the dates are on my newly designed site, FitsDog.com. Check out the redesign that Logan

just did. She did an amazing job. And again, cannot implore you enough. Please enjoy the special. It's called You Know Me. Like it, comment on it, subscribe to the YouTube, tell your friends, spread the word. Hey, if you wanna donate a few bucks, that'd be great. Two bucks, three bucks, maybe 100. And say you're a big spender.

Maybe you're a millionaire. Then give me $100, be the guy that does that. Oh, and here's the plug I wanna do, is I want everybody when they comment to say, I know you from, and then fill it in. FitzDog Radio, Joe Rogan Experience, WTF, like where did you hear about the special that made you go to it and say I know you from? Okay, do that. Let's make that trend.

Let's make that go viral. Let's make that get so big that CNN is talking about it, the network. All right, that'll do it. That was about 40, 45 minutes. I think we're like 40 minutes, but that's plenty. No guests. I hope I didn't talk too much about my special, but I'm excited about it. I wanna thank the great people at Midcoast Media

for doing the editing and the producing and all the other stuff that goes along with this. And we'll catch you guys next week. God bless America.