F**kface - Affecting the Market // Dog Shampoo [42]
Episode Date: March 17, 2021Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about doing so many more than 1 intro, Gavin can't speak in the Zimmerzone, and how Roombas have gotten worse over time. Sponsored by: Postmates (Download the Postmates a...pp + code FACE) and Raycon (http://buyraycon.com/face) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hey, I was on time, Gavin.
Look at me. Yeah, it didn't matter because Eric was just yakking away this time.
Yeah, we were waiting for you, so it's fine.
No, I was here at half three, so.
Hello! Hello, three, so. Hello!
Fuck.
Hello, hello, hello.
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast.
I believe it's episode 42.
My name is Jeff Ramsey, and with me as always, Gavin Free and Raymond Sommar.
How's it going, boys?
What have you been up to since, when did we do this last? Like two days ago?
It's like a week ago.
Can I be honest with you guys?
Yeah, go ahead.
That sounded...
That sounded like such a fucking podcast-y podcast intro.
I hate it.
Can we do it again?
You're the host of a podcast, but yeah.
I don't know what you think you're doing.
It's a podcast.
Listen, while I was saying it,
I was envisioning me saying saying I looked like a person I
would want to punch like if I heard me delivering I'm just like a random dude and I hear me
delivering the intro to that podcast I want to hit me I think it's mainly because we can all hear
you ramping up to that mode but while you're talking because you're always like oh well it's
because like I keep wait i keep waiting
to get interrupted so i only like i ramp up the further i get from being interrupted the higher
the like increases the chance that i'm not gonna get it so yeah i put more in uh anyway this is
face it is episode 42 uh i am jeff you are gavin and you are uh raymond and uh i feel a lot better
about that intro i don't i if heard that, I would be like,
oh, that's a guy slightly defeated doing an intro
and I wouldn't want to hit him.
I guess we're making up for the episodes
that had no intro by having two on this one.
Yeah, there you go.
How many didn't have intros?
I feel like most had intros.
I know we went through a wave.
We can't possibly talk about intros
any more than we already have.
Okay, I was just asking.
Isn't this season two?
Aren't we on the new stuff? That's true. I mean, but you're the one doing two fucking intros anymore than we already have. Okay, I was just asking. Isn't this season two? Aren't we on the new stuff?
That's true. I mean, but you're the one doing
two fucking intros. What do you mean are we on the new
stuff? You're doing the repeat. Oh, maybe that's
what Jeff thinks season two is. Every episode has two
episodes. I mean, intro. Oh, shit. Sod it.
Fucking it. Nick
says 30% don't have an intro.
There's no way
it's that high.
I bet you it is.
I bet there's a pretty good chance it is.
Wait, does it count if we do it like 45 minutes in and do an intro?
Does that count or does that not count?
That doesn't count?
Then what's the point of it?
There was a run of episode 16s that I don't think had intros alone.
That was probably 20 of those.
At least 50% of episode 16s didn't have an intro.
Do we know what the first episode 16 was?
Yeah, it was episode 16.
Yeah, I know, but I mean,
it came right after episode 15.
Wow, that's great.
I appreciate that insight.
I was just curious.
We did a lot of 16s.
Episode 16, I don't know, man.
That was like a million years ago.
I know.
I was just curious what even is on
the first episode 16. I have no idea.
Would that be like pencil times?
Let me look at episode 16.
Oh, they're not numbered.
That's going to make it difficult.
Do you want what episode 16 was?
Wait, the new ones are numbered. Episode 39 is numbered. Episode 40 is numbered. Nothing else is numbered.
Why?
A variety of lawsuits.
Bog roll folders.
Oh, yeah.
That was probably deep in pencil.
Then if there's lawsuits.
That was probably pencil.
I don't remember what the bog roll is.
Yeah.
There we go.
Jeff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Gavin's assembled legal team.
Jeff's first take place Garfield finish.
Bog roll folders and more. I forgot you played Garfield., bog roll folders, and more.
I forgot you played Garfield.
Briefly.
Yeah, you know what else?
I remember when I kept calling you
on the Anaheim number that I had
because you mentioned, I forgot.
There are a lot of things I forgot that happened.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You kept calling me on that California number.
That's true.
Yeah, that's great.
I have an issue with Eric
I want to talk about immediately
just before we get too far.
I was about to say,
I'm glad that you did that.
Hold on a second. Okay. All all right i had to get that out uh i i got nothing i got nothing for today what was that uh i was a burp i got that burp and that was it i got a burp and and that i'm i
like i stopped at uh at raymond somer and zimmer and the acronym so i got i my brain turned off after the
last episode and nothing has happened in my life since so i got nothing to talk about okay well i
wanted to talk to eric about the fact he gave a lot of shit about not doing the shake my head
reveal in that episode talked a lot about it last time nobody commented on it nobody was in suspense it was not a big deal
but it would have made more sense to just wait i think that's only because there was a bigger
thing that we hadn't talked about uh it just it seemed he he put a lot of a lot of force into
that we were idiots for not covering that nobody cared nobody cared about that coverage lack of
coverage i mean i think i think you nailed it g. I don't know. I don't know.
You dig a big hole, and then you dig a bigger hole next to it,
and people go, wow, that's a really big hole.
Oh, okay, there's a small.
But look how big this giant hole is.
Yeah, I also don't know if the response being that people didn't seem to care
doesn't make it what we did any less dumb.
It just means that either they were focused on the bigger hole
or they're so conditioned to disappointment that they just that was that's like that's the bar
and that's a great point you know and which isn't a good thing either can i say i've really been
enjoying the face instagram it's really my only window into how out of control this Zimmer zone thing has gone. It's amazing that so many confused people who know nothing of this podcast around the world.
I love it.
It might be the crowning achievement of all things we've done in Rooster Teeth,
or at least in my career, is seeing all these articles and comments on Twitter and Instagram
and on baseball card forums from people going,
what the fuck is going on with Don Zimmer? Why is this card have value all of a sudden?
It's been a thing. I mean, I guess we have to thank the audience because they have
taken it to a whole level and the entire hobby is in mass confusion. And just reading the
different theories has been incredible. They've raged so far. Kudos to the audience because it is 100%.
We pointed you guys in a direction or we presented an idea,
and the audience is how it happened, right?
They ran with it and also proved a really interesting point,
which is you can affect a market.
It doesn't take that many people focused in a direction to affect a market.
It really doesn't.
I mean, how many people could have been buying Zimmer cards
in the last month to make it explode into what it's become?
Like, what does a Zimmer card go for on eBay right now?
Do you know, Andrew, off the top of your head?
I think it's ranging between $15 to $20 per card.
I don't think I've seen one go for less than $15.
I've been trying to buy one
of every Zimmer
card, kind of like I do with Marcus Smart,
you know? Just like every different one.
And so I've got about six or seven now, and
I was buying them for a buck a piece, and now I think
the last one I bought for $12.
They're definitely getting up there.
Also, Nick has written that
the episode with the SMH
actual reveal isn't out yet.
Yeah, I mean, that's like, what can you do?
It's not even worth having the conversation about because somehow I'm still wrong.
So it doesn't matter.
You just have to find something where Andrew peters off, and then the conversation can just sort of go.
No, no, no, no, no no no no let's think about this
for a minute i need to go in my head because i don't i need um because we it would have been
the following episode the shake my head thing did not happen in the last episode that aired
it was the one before that so we would have mentioned in that one if we followed your order
because the whole point of the one that comes after the episode that just came out is that you
weren't here and one of the things you yelled about was the lack of reveal
in that episode. So I'm still right.
My point is still valid. See, Gavin?
Isn't that what I just said? I said
why even bother?
I'll be honest. I was extra
trying to pay attention to
what Andrew was saying and what his
stance was. I don't
know what you mean.
How is this not...
All I said was that the SMH reveal hasn't what his stance was. I don't, I don't know what you mean. How is this not, this is so,
okay.
Because all I said was that
the SMH reveal
hasn't come out yet.
Well, yeah.
The one where Eric was like,
you didn't even talk about SMH.
That's not it yet.
Yeah, I know.
I'm aware of that.
I'm addressing the fact
that he yelled at us
for not addressing it
in an episode.
Go ahead.
Before you go any further,
I hate to cut in
to further exacerbate things,
but just to kind of
reinforce what Gavin just said, I lost interest and I am not paying attention to further exacerbate things, but just to kind of reinforce what Gavin just
said, I lost interest and I
am not paying attention to anything y'all are talking about.
I couldn't follow it. So y'all continue
and just like loop me back in
when you're done. Why
even speak then? Why
comment? What's the point of
you saying that?
What are you doing?
Are you talking to me? Yeah yeah i'm talking to you jeff
no circle back to me when you're finished no i'm done at this point i want i just don't understand
the argument so there's no point in listening because nothing anybody's saying is making any
sense i was just saying we got yelled at we didn't need to be i think we just i think we
deserve i listened to that episode last night in bed we definitely deserve to be yelled at
i don't know i don't know about that i'd say the reaction says otherwise have we started this I think we deserve, I listened to that episode last night in bed. We definitely deserve to be yelled at.
I don't know.
I don't know about that.
I'd say the reaction says otherwise.
Have we started this podcast yet?
I don't know.
Can you do a punchy intro?
Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast.
My name is Jeff Ramsey.
With me, as always, Gavin Free and Raven Sommaire.
And what do you guys want to talk about this week?
We solved, or I would say we crested Sommaire Mountain and the SMH Mountains.
And we have driven fucking full steam through the Zimmer zone and come out the other side.
What do we have?
I don't think we're done with the Zimmer zone.
I was curious what your guys' favorite theories have been.
What theories have you heard?
There's a group of people that believe that this was a money laundering scheme, which I think is a fantastic concept.
The idea that anyone would launder money $10 at a time from Don Zimmer cards on eBay.
At one point, the FBI, it's too low to be laundering like yeah i've heard yeah
i've heard that it's uh i've heard that it's some sort of a reddit group that exists to do
to like manipulate markets kind of like gme gamestop like bitcoin like it's very like nft
like new like new media like tech scammy type stuff.
You know, I've heard that I was accused by somebody on some comment somewhere of setting
all of this up just so that I could sell my personal collection of Don Zimmer cards and
rake in a bunch of money as if once again, I was like as if for the last 10 years, I've
been hoarding millions of Zimmer cars for 10 cents each.
So I could turn around and sell them for eight bucks a pop and slowly get rich.
Eight dollars at a time.
You would have to have a warehouse of so many.
That's where I want to pour my energy.
Yeah.
Just imagining somebody breaking down because their Zimmer warehouse caught fire.
All their future profits. You've been holding these for so long. Yeah, it was great. I'm just imagining somebody breaking down because their Zimmer warehouse caught fire.
All their future profits.
You've been holding these for so long.
Yeah, it was great.
There's a whole thing about how a shadowy group was buying the cards themselves,
like buying them at higher prices
to try to generate hype and adjust the market.
It was crazy.
I saw another one the other day
where people were speculating
that this meant that more manager cards
were going to become in vogue.
And December was just the start.
And the people were like,
who do you think is going to be next?
And people were trying to figure out
who the next hot manager is going to be.
I like as well that it's actually going really well.
It's quite big now.
This is actually registering to people
outside of this podcast.
But I feel like our listeners as i just i can't you feel like our listeners are hold on let me take it okay yeah
okay roll back i feel like our list is why is this so hard for you what are you doing
why are you doing?
Why are you broken?
Whatever point you're going to make is not going to be worth this.
You should never stop.
Can we push the recording one more day?
You never get to start again.
What's your point? I'd love to start again. What's your point?
I'd love to hear it.
Well, I feel like our listeners are so true faces
that they're actually not letting anyone else know
where it's coming from.
They're all like in on it with us.
And I think that's the best part of it
is that it's so big,
but it's not big enough to the point
where people are finding out where it's coming from.
Totally agree.
All the facers out there that are taking part in this fun little experiment and enjoying this.
Thank you so much for keeping this close to your vest.
It's been so wonderful to see people going out and looking to try to find the solution
and not being able to.
And can you believe I made that observation and told you about it in the first try?
That's great.
Delivered it perfectly.
What a clear, interesting thought that you
succinctly delivered.
It was very concise.
As somebody who just
fucking yelled at me for being confusing
and not clear i really
appreciated the delivery you gave and i'm taking notes i'm gonna learn a lot from you i'm bad at
podcasting if i have to be quiet for a long time like if i'm listening for several minutes back
to back i start to get worked up in my own head when i should talk again and then when i do it's
like from the back dude i do the same thing you start like you get like a car revving you're like because you don't want to be quiet enough to
the point where someone realizes that you've not said anything in a while and then they ask you
why you're not saying anything you don't want to get to that point but you want to chime in at some
point and it's hard to time in my head do you have the reverse where you get a spot and then you start
talking and then you think like well now now they're listening to me. I better go.
And then after a while, you're like, why am I still talking? And am I just saying the same thing over and over again in different ways?
Because I had that earlier in the beginning of the podcast.
I don't even remember what it was, but I remember going to make a note to Nick to tell him to
cut out like 45 seconds of some shit I said in the first 10 minutes.
I think I get that much less frequently because I try and say everything and be done talking as quickly as possible and i i don't
like it if i've like right now what do you mean it was going on too long i wanted it to be over
i had to end it okay okay i don't i feel like you just stopped talking though i don't even feel like
you made a point was your point that you have nothing? I don't know. I feel like I have a hard 30-second
limit where if I've not stopped then, I've
just got to back it in. I see.
Otherwise, I get nervous.
What about you, Andrew?
What's going on
with the Zimmer Zone shirt? Is that out at this point?
It's St. Patrick's Day, by the way,
when this airs. Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Is it St. Patrick's Day, really?
What is that march march
17th wow happy craig that's cool do you know that's that means today is the fourth anniversary
of the day i quit drinking hey accidentally on st patrick's day i had no idea congratulations
your last drink oh yeah well yeah yeah i do i remember my last five drinks because they happened
in well i had yeah i remember my last five drinks because they happened in... Well, I had... Yeah, I remember my last five drinks.
I had them in rapid succession.
Yeah.
I've told that story a million times.
I don't want to bore anybody with old stories about me drinking
and throwing up blood and stuff.
But it just so happens that
March 17th is the
four-year... Today is the four-year anniversary of the last
drink I took. I don't think I know that story.
You have to tell me offline.
Yeah, it was like six in the morning.
I was fucking drunk.
Drunky, drunk, drunk.
And I got up and I was shaken.
And so I took...
I usually take shots in the morning.
You know what?
I'll tell you later.
What?
It's a sad story.
You're going way too far.
Okay, that's far.
That's fine.
If you're going for darkness reasons
that's fine i just like the idea of that morning you're just like that's enough i'm done all right
so i got up you know and i was like it was six in the morning i had to tell him it's okay i've
told it on another podcast millie gets up we can cut it from this so it doesn't have to be in this
podcast if you want to see here but i'm fine with it i don't understand why you've teased it like five times in the show and gone i'll tell you online then you start telling it again if you want to see it here but i'm fine with it i don't understand why you've teased it like
five times in the show and gone i'll tell you online then you start telling it again if you
want to cut we'll cut it but also i don't care i just don't want to bore the audience because the
audience is probably do you think do you think just tell i just tell tell the story jeff please
okay so i was up one morning eric is making the story take longer. It's March 17th. It's during South by.
I'm off that week.
I get up in the morning at six, you know, because I'm an early riser and I got to take
get Millie up at seven.
So I go into the kitchen and I take my morning.
I take two shots of bullet whiskey every morning.
Well, that's what I have right at the time I had bullets.
So I drank two shots of whiskey to kind of steady the nerves and it didn't steady my
nerves.
I was still shaking really bad. So I thought, oh, I better take
another shot. And that didn't work. So I took two more shots so that I could get to normal so that
I could, you know, make breakfast and stuff for Millie because that's, you know, I was in a bad
way. And and when I I swallowed the fifth shot, it something happened to my stomach, and immediately I went, it's coming up.
And I turned toward the bathroom as vomit, projectile vomited out of my mouth across my entire kitchen into my hallway.
And it's in the old house, Kev.
You know that house.
Yeah.
Like, you know where...
And it kind of hit that wall over where the bathroom was.
And it was blood and shit in it.
And I thought, A, that's not good.
B, Millie's not awake yet.
I don't want her to see this.
And so I got down on my hands and knees
and I was like cleaning up blood and puke with my shirt
because it's what I had and I was all fucked up.
And then I thought, I just probably stop.
This is probably enough.
And that was when I quit drinking.
Well, I'm glad you did.
Congrats on four.
Thanks, man.
Here's to many more.
No, thanks.
I appreciate it.
It's always, I don't know if we should go into vomit stories
if we're going to cut that, actually.
It's okay.
Never say never.
You know, I don't want to be one of those people
that says I'll never drink again,
but I sure as hell hope I don't.
I find that if I ever projectile vomit,
usually from a previous night of drinking,
I always,
like if I'm not going to make it to the toilet,
I always try and go for the mouth cover,
but it's always the wrong move.
I think you're much better off
just vomiting forwards as you're walking because then it doesn't go on the ceiling and
the walls through your hands totally agree and you end up with a dirty hand that you have to
clean before you can use you need to clean it right
i did not expect that analogy it's a good one i've never even considered vomiting in the hands
you got to just embrace the projectile vomit when it happens so when you vomit project when
you projectile vomit andrew do you, are your arms at your sides?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, my arms are on my knees.
I'm getting into as much force as I can.
This is just, this is where we're at.
I'm going to make the most of it.
Just imagining a broom covered in vomit.
Oh.
You'd have to just throw it away
it's like how do you clean a broom
I know I know it's a flawed analogy
right because it's like it's not like if I was like
ah shit the dog threw up somebody
grabbed the broom it's not like I'm
cleaning up puke with a broom I should
have said mop yeah mop would have been
better works yeah
or inside a small tub of
Lysol strips or whatever
oh i feel like that's a paper towel fix i don't think it's that hard to clean it's always tragic
when you ruin a piece of cleaning equipment and i feel like uh a hoover a vacuum is the same way
because dan told us a story to me once where he just chunked off the side of his bed and then
he cleaned it up with paper towels and then ended up just like vacuuming up the rest of it but until he stopped using that vacuum cleaner years later
every time he vacuumed just the smell of vomit would be pumped out of it even though it's
technically clean there's just something about it was stored inside and it would always smell
like chunk and he'd always be heaving when he was trying to vacuum gavin i just it's so funny you
say that i just had that happen last week.
You threw up in your Dyson?
No, dude, no.
But I don't fully know what happened,
and I haven't done the investigation to figure it out.
But what I think happened,
because I picked up my Dyson the other day,
the cordless kind to clean up something,
and it wasn't working,
and I went to clean the trap out,
and it was full of what appeared to be vomit, right?
And what I dissected,
because Millie wasn't here at the time,
what I've put together was that
I think Arrow or Henry
must have thrown up a bunch of dog food
and then Millie tried to clean it up
with the vacuum cleaner.
And so it was just a bunch of like
wet, soggy dog food
and puke like clogging the thing up i had to take our emily and i had to take the entire thing apart
piece by piece and hand clean the entire dyson vacuum cleaner while and i was retching the whole
time because it just smelled like i don't know how long it had been in there and i you know and
like and all i can say i look at it and i'm like i was mad but at the same time i'm like somebody either emily doesn't want to accept that she did this or
millie did it either way they were trying to solve a problem they were trying to clean something up
so i shouldn't be mad at them for you know trying to clean up this issue but it was fucking stinky
gross there needs to be like a potpourri bomb or something that you can mow up in a vacuum that
cleans the smells out automatically yeah are you a big cleaner
andrew do you uh how often do you tidy your shit because in my head you live in a just a pigsty of
waffles and trash i don't live in a pigsty of waffles and trash i still have the outline of
when i was living in a pillow fort when we recorded these i saw boxes all around my desk but
outside of that things are okay i wouldn't say it's too dirty.
I'd love to have, like, a
fucking Roomba or something, though.
That seems great. Those seem fun.
I feel like they're a lot better in theory. Yeah?
I could see that. They get stuck on
small stuff, or if you've got cats, there's
probably a cat toy getting wedged in it.
I feel like they've decreased
in functionality over
time as they've improved, if that makes any sense.
Like, I got a new Roomba not too long ago
because, you know, I had a bunch of Roombas.
I was a huge Roomba proponent back in the day.
You know, we had the Roombas fight with knives, Gavin.
Yeah.
I had the Dyson Roomba for a while
that I gave up in the divorce.
You had the one that ran over the dog turd
and smeared it all over your head.
Yeah, I had two instances of the dog shit
happening once with the Dyson, once with the Roomba. I think it yeah i had i had two instances of the dog shit happening once
with the dyson once with the roomba uh i think it's even yeah which one handled it better uh the
dyson was easier to clean the roomba the roomba died it killed that roomba it never went again
but so i got a new roomba a couple months, and it's like the brand new model. It's supposed to be the best one.
But I feel like the lint trap or the vacuum trap
that really collects all the shit
is half the size of the old Roomba.
So it doesn't even make it through one cycle
before it has to be changed.
The new fancy ones empty themselves, don't they?
That's why they have a small hole.
Well, they have that you can't buy.
When I went to buy it,
you couldn't buy the empty itself thing. You can get the Roomba, but you can't get the I went to buy it you couldn't buy the empty itself
thing like you can get the Roomba but you can't
get the trap thing they were just like not available
they were selling on eBay for like
1200 bucks just for that at the time
it's fucking ludicrous
forget Zimma
I know right but then this fucking this new Roomba
who's lovely but it gets caught on everything
all the time every day
I feel like Roombas have gotten worse as
they've
increased in price and and and i don't know technology interesting theory what's the worst
thing you have on your desk you have a clean desk um worst thing worst thing um like i'll just put
something on my desk and forget it's there i just i just pulled the waffle bomb out it's still on my
desk oh come on why is that on your desk it's just there i think pulled the waffle bomb out. It's still on my desk. Oh, come on! Why is that on your desk?
It's just there. I think I moved it. I was scared it was gonna get knocked over where it was before,
so I put it in the corner of my desk. And I thought, do I still have this? And I do.
I just can't concentrate. If my desk is full of trash, I can't do it. Like, if there's an empty mug
or a drink that I've already drank, I can't have, like, an empty glass and stuff. I've got to get
rid of that shite
because I'll knock it over.
Why?
Why?
Why is that the case for you at home?
But at work,
your desk has 7,000 half empty cups
and you don't give a shit.
I tell you why,
because that's not my trash.
My desk is the closest to the door.
People leave their,
I don't drink out of cans.
People leave their shite all over my desk.
They carve holes in it.
I don't buy it.
They write all over it. they cut holes in it they write
all over it they kick it off i'm not dealing with my desk at work that is that is the work that is
the office's desk and i i can't care about it if i care about it i'll get upset when someone kicks
it off won't i some of that's true but all those fucking dixie cups are yours buddy i'm the one
that walks over to the water machine and fucking gets a little half cup thing of water and then leaves it there until you've got uh like a baker's dozen of them
on your desk yeah but it's only water it's not sticky shit that's gonna get all mold and like
it's only water it's only 17 half empty or half full cups of water on a desk full of a computer
equipment where we throw shit around constantly yeah but over the space of six months, that's pretty decent, because I can reuse those cups,
so I keep going back and forth until I wake up and there's a cockroach in one of them,
which has happened.
It's a miracle you don't get, fucking knock a moon ball into one of them and short circuit
something and set the whole place on fire.
Have you ever, have you realized that electronics are actually pretty resilient to liquids?
Like, I spilled drinks and
water all over pretty much everything electronic at some point in my life i don't think i've ever
broken anything from water yeah millie uh millie told me i don't know maybe a year ago her macbook
she spilled a dr pepper i think it was in her macbook air and she was like uh it doesn't work
anymore and i was like turn it upside down and check on it in a week.
Millie's still using that MacBook Air to this day.
Yeah, I had a thing where my cat
knocked an iPad into
the bath and I,
while I was listening to it, I wasn't in the bath, but I was about
to get in and watch something.
And my AirPods just suddenly cut out
because I guess Wi-Fi or Bluetooth
doesn't work through water.
It just instantly cut it off and I just saw the splash.
I was like, God damn it.
Because they're not cheap.
They're my pads.
Didn't work.
I left it off for a couple of weeks.
I didn't bother with the rice thing because I heard that's a load of bollocks,
so I just left it.
It didn't work after two weeks.
Started charging it.
Still didn't work.
I just chucked it in a drawer.
About nine months later, I tried again, and it works. It was, I guess, just needed longer than two weeks, started charging it, still didn't work. I just chucked it in a drawer. About nine months later, I tried again and it works.
It was, I guess, just needed longer than two weeks.
Or the opposite.
Like I got, when I got my iPhone 10,
I was having a conversation with Emily
about how they're waterproof.
And I was by the pool and she's like,
they say they're waterproof, but they're not waterproof.
So I dunked my iPhone 10 in the water
to show her they were waterproof.
Didn't work for two days.
It immediately broke
and I had to go put it in. I had to put it in
rice at Emily's old place
before she had the pool.
Two fucking days immediately broke.
Didn't you also get that Insta360
camera and the first thing you did
was you put it in water and it wasn't waterproof.
Oh, big time, dude. That thing spent
more time underwater than above water.
Yeah, there was nothing waterproof about that.
And you also thought you were taking videos,
but you were just taking pictures of yourself
looking into it, starting the camera.
Like a couple of grandparents trying to figure out what you're taking.
I'll find that photo and i'll have i'll have
them put it up on the on the instagram yeah we've mentioned that before it's pretty it's so funny to
me i don't know about you but i feel like i'm always looking at a screen and now more than ever
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slash face. And now a break from our podcast to speak about Postmates. If you're like me,
you start thinking about what to eat for dinner when you're eating lunch, and you start thinking
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point. I love it. I love food. I love eating it.
I love preparing it.
I love thinking about it.
I love dreaming about it.
But sometimes getting into my kitchen and cooking something delicious to eat doesn't
make it on my to-do list.
It makes it on my to-think-about list and to-fancify list and to-daydream-about list,
but it doesn't make it on my actual put effort into it
list, which is why Postmates is pretty cool. With Postmates, you can get food delivered without
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And I do that sometimes if I feel like getting out of the house.
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what's new in Canada?
I got a port-a-potty update.
It's in Dallas. Oh, yeah.
I don't have a port-a-potty.
What's up with this fucking port-a-potty?
It's in Dallas.
It was supposed to, I guess, with the storm, it got pushed back for delivery.
It hit Dallas today, so I imagine early next week.
But where's it coming from?
Why didn't you order a local one?
Well, I just, I bought, I went online and I bought a port-a-potty.
What do you mean?
It seems like you've moved a port-a-potty across the whole of the United States. Where's it from? I think I did, I bought, I went online and I bought a porta potty. What do you mean? It seems like you've moved a porta potty across the whole of the United States.
Where's it from?
I think I did, actually.
I think it, I think I bought it from a place based in Colorado.
Why didn't you buy one that was in Austin?
Look, here's the deal.
It's going to get redirected to Rooster Teeth anyway.
There's no way it stays in my yard.
You've got to use it at
least once in your yard yeah absolutely i don't think i do i i don't think i do you definitely
do i really think you should record one episode of face from inside there you take that now
you won't you won't after 30 seconds of hearing me in it with the echo. You're going to go like, all right, all right, all right, tear it down.
It's impossible to talk to you.
I think it's horrible.
Yeah, I agree with Gavin.
I think that's absolutely a move you have to do.
Yeah, well, I'll believe it when a giant pink porta potty shows up in my front yard because I've been hearing that for three episodes.
That's fair.
It should be coming soon.
This could be the long play.
This could be utter bullshit and he never ordered one again i'd be great i i i would i would almost be more annoyed at that no i don't know if
it's a real port-a-potty because he really has me believing it's coming like i really don't want to
believe it but i i do eric i have a question i have a business question yeah um this is just a
crew conversation not for the audience but we should leave it in anyway um we have sponsors every week several that is uh why why do we have zero dollars towards
the budget of face oh do you think that that's how that works uh yeah i mean okay yeah okay
because it because this people pay to advertise on everything. Everything you're about to say, I 100% agree with.
I'm not asking you.
And we've got Andrew paying out of his own Canadian pocket.
Uh-huh.
Right.
For bogs and that.
Correct.
And I feel like you used corporate money.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Yeah, no, everything you're saying, I agree with.
Okay.
100%.
But that's where it stops.
I'm not the guy who makes the money happen.
I am given the money that I'm given for each show.
I know.
I just feel like give and take is important.
Uh-huh.
I agree.
And we need to start taking.
I just don't know how to do that.
Because Jeff's doing all the giving.
Right.
What does that mean?
Well, you're doing all the ad reads.
Uh-huh.
Oh, that's true.
I do do all the goddamn ad reads.
And by the way, boy, do I love it.
I mean, who do you want to do the ad reads?
No, no, that's fine.
I'm doing it.
I was just about to say,
but I appreciate all of the sponsors
that sponsor our podcast
and make it possible for us to continue.
Although I do have one complaint still about the ads. What's's that i feel like there's got to be someone out there who used the code you know
instead of face yeah i feel like the first company to go all in on that that'd be a great ad read i
think you're right okay i can run that up and i can also see about getting more budget for this show. More than zero. Yeah, absolutely.
I got sent a missed opportunity.
This wasn't a thing when this came about.
There is a portable small toilet that you can buy from,
I think it was Home Depot, that is a Zimmer toilet.
Zimmer bucket.
Zimmer bucket toilet.
All comes back to the Zimmer zone.
Is that the brand, Zimmer?
Yeah, the brand of the toilet,
like the company that makes it was Zimmer, I believe.
The Zimmer bucket toilet for like camping.
I wonder if anybody from Don Zimmer's family is still alive.
I thought about that too.
You think he might be the last Zimmer?
He could be the last Zimmer.
Did he have kids?
I'm the last Ramsey in my line.
If Millie doesn't have kids and name them Ramsey, I guess. I'm the last Ramsey in my line if Millie doesn't have kids and name them Ramsey, I guess.
I'm the last male Ramsey.
How long has Zim had been dead?
He died like 10 years ago, maybe, right?
Andrew, when did Zimber die?
I feel like 10 years ago.
I think that's right.
Yeah.
It's a shame.
It is a shame.
It was a huge loss.
2014.
Seven years ago.
Hmm.
Did he have kids?
He has three children.
Three children.
Okay.
Oh, the port-a-potty came from Indiana.
Just so you know, Gavin.
Answer your question.
I don't know what that is.
Is that somewhere in the middle?
Yeah.
That seems befitting because Indiana is often considered the toilet of America.
I wonder if his kids know how much joy he still brings the world.
Like, obviously, they know how much joy he brought the world when he was with us,
and how much joy he brought his family, no doubt, as well.
But since his unfortunate passing, he has lived a new life, if you will,
an infamous life that has only just started.
And I bet his children have no idea this new technology Zimmer
that exists. Since looking
at that picture of his hat getting
pushed in his eyes
I watched the clip. I didn't realize
that it wasn't a fight at all. It was like
a half second moment where
he ran at someone
and the other guy just pushed
him to the ground. There wasn't any scrap
whatsoever. He just charged like a bull whiffed and fell on the ground. I wasn't any scrap whatsoever. You just charged like a bull
I don't even know if I could say it was a shove like it reminds me of when you watch those like Zen master like
Martial arts videos where they like sidestep and the guy falls over like he put his hat on his face and the December just goes
Down I don't know if I've laughed harder
So hard as well.
The only way it could have been more embarrassing
is if Pedro Martinez just stuck out his right hand
and it hit Zimmer's forehead
and Zimmer just ran in place swinging his arms.
It's so funny.
I mean, it's not funny.
I mean, the actual...
He was fine.
Written on paper, it's not funny.
It's very funny though it's hard
to describe zimmer knew what he was doing when he charged him come on lunatic do you think zimmer
would go for a second charge because it just stops look it could have gone the other way
everybody remembers when fucking uh who was it robin ventura charged the mound on nolan ryan
robin ventura was like 20 years old nolan r was like 45 and Nolan Ryan beat the shit out of him.
Zimmer might've thought it was going that way for him.
He's like,
I got,
I may have 30 years on Pedro Martinez,
but I got Nolan Ryan energy.
And then suddenly he couldn't,
he could only see the inside of his hat.
And then he was,
I wonder what his goal was.
What his move.
Did he have a plan?
Did he have like a right hook he was loading up on?
Like what did he want to happen when he began the bull rush?
Is he just going for a collar grab?
I'd love to know what his strategy was.
I think he was trying to flip him over his shoulders.
Literally like a bull.
Yeah, I think he was like...
I think it was going to be like the Charger in Left 4 Dead 2, right?
He was just going to
keep running.
Just run right through him.
I had stuff until I hit a wall.
I don't think anyone falling
has brought me this much joy.
I've laughed so much
just watching him fall.
Oh, dude.
It's great.
There's one other fall I think that's up there, laughed so much just watching him fall. Oh, dude. It's great. There's one other fall
I think that's up there,
which is the Kelsey Grammer fall.
That thing,
that lives in infamy as well.
Another face favorite.
Yeah.
Oh, dear Lord.
I'm not familiar
with the Kelsey Grammer fall.
When did Kelsey Grammer fall?
Hold on a second.
Let me find it for you.
Okay.
You don't want to.
You need to see it in your life.
I'm excited.
I love a good fall.
It's also, it's just so great that it's him, you know?
Why?
Because he's just such a straight-laced,
like, serious, boring person.
And then for him to fall in such a funny way,
his reaction, his reaction is the funny part.
Kelsey Grammer falls.
We might get Andrew's live reaction to,
uh,
I'm very excited to watch Kelsey.
Andrew's live reaction.
Hold on a second.
All right,
here we go.
It's by the way,
he's talking to kids at Disney world.
I believe it's about,
uh,
it's about his experiences at Disney world.
All right,
Andrew,
give it a watch.
Oh, you gotta listen to, so be sure to listen. Yeah, I'm listening. I'm going to watch this. It's about his experiences at Disney World. All right, Andrew, give it a watch. You got to listen, too, so be sure to listen.
Yeah, I'm listening.
I'm going to watch this.
It looks like a very dark room in defense of Kelsey Graham.
Kelsey G.
I love it's just called Kelsey G.
35 seconds, the appropriate length for a fall video.
Yeah.
I love the ensuing like 20 seconds of people checking on him and he's just like did he continue the speech did he go back to talking about it's a small world or
whatever he was saying audience i highly encourage you to go to youtube or work and look that clip up
do you think that would be in the top three internet falls? I feel like Grape Lady has to be number one.
Oh, Grape Lady's gotta be number one.
There's nothing better than her.
I mean, Grape Lady was pretty good.
But she was, I mean, doing a stupid thing.
Like, it's a goofy, she's doing something goofy
or, like, acting into the goofiness.
Kelsey Grammer couldn't be more serious
talking about his interpreter. Yes. As he falls. something goofy or like acting into the goofiness kelsey grammar couldn't be more serious talking
about his interpreter yes she got what was she grape lady got what was coming to her because
she tried to cheat on the grape race so you know there's like some comeuppance there but kelsey
grammar he was just boring some people in a fucking auditorium. Just being a boring ass old boring dude in an auditorium and he and then
the next thing you know he's like
oh god
oh good lord.
He fell fucking far
too for how old that motherfucker is.
You know that hurt.
He just missed the stage. He didn't
even trip. He just tried to walk beyond
the stage.
I wonder I wonder what the audience audience what's your favorite internet following videos gotta be specific to somebody following
or tripping i would love to know what else is out there that we're not thinking of right now
what's your what's your all time
I can't believe you'd never seen it
I can't believe you haven't seen it when we had that whole
Kelsey Grammer conversation about when you
tried to game
his stock market or whatever
this is great I feel like I have a
lack of fall knowledge I'm just an appreciator
of the fall I think the fall is a great
thing it's so embarrassing
there's no recovering from it. You can't suddenly
get out of a fall. It's
just a wonderful... What's this?
Are you guys familiar with this fall video that
Eric posted? Oh, Sal Governale?
Yeah. This is long.
This is like three and a half years. When does the fall
happen? About 15 seconds in.
Okay. Jeff, you know that
you haven't seen this? No, I've never seen it.
Oh, this is great what is this
it's sal being sal and then he's sal right off the stage was that gary over there trying to get
him off stage uh yeah i think is that is that and that's already yeah oh he falls yeah he does
is he wearing like a bobble booby mask too what a fucking idiot yeah he's like he wearing like a Baba Boomy mask too? What a fucking idiot. Yeah, he's like dancing around and all this stuff.
Oh, he does like the arm thing off the stage.
He does like the break dance as he falls.
That's awesome.
So here's the thing.
They liked it so much on Stern that they did an 11 minute special on Howard TV specifically
about Sal falling off the stage.
I don't know how I missed that.
I never saw it.
I don't either.
It's great.
I don't think I've ever seen you outstirned.
Yeah, really?
And that's not even a hard one.
Dude, I'm not even close to the biggest Stern fan in the company now.
Jordan is a huge Stern fan.
Ryan Hall, Eric.
There's a couple other new employees that are big Stern fans.
Wayne is a big Stern fan, apparently.
It's growing numbers at a time when when Stern is dying I had a I had a memory of um another
face that happened I think yeah this was the week I moved to America because I feel like Jeff
that was when you were at the height of your just screwing with me wherever you could like lying to
me about the price of driving tests and such yeah i i moved
to america with just the important stuff because i figured i'd get a lot of stuff when i got there
the stuff that i don't need to take like i'm not gonna fly across the world with shampoo and stuff
when i can just buy some there but the first night in your house i didn't have any shampoos
i was like you got any can i just borrow some shampoo for tonight and uh you were like yeah
there's one in there don't use this one uh just use whatever
else is in there and i was like all right okay and i used the other one that the one that you
didn't not the one you didn't want me to use and uh it just smelled a bit weird it's like
different i guess you know american shampoo might have different flavors
finish rinsing it out and uh my hair was all like it was a a bit weird. It just felt a bit weird. I went back to have a look. It was pet shampoo for poppies.
And after work the next day, because I just went straight to work.
I slept, woke up, showered with that, went straight to work.
After work the night we got home, I was like,
I'm down and getting shampoo again.
So I went in there and had to use it again.
He used dog shampoo.
I used dog shampoo the first two nights that I stayed in America.
I used dog shampoo because I wasn't allowed to use your fancy one.
You didn't tell me that there was pet shampoo right next to the human shampoo!
Who leaves their pet goods next to all the human stuff?
They're like with a fluffy mane.
What?
What?
What?
What do you mean I told you not to use the fancy shampoo it's not like i have shampoo
that's like only for me it's like you can't use the good stuff that's only that's like we only
bring out the fine china and the fancy shampoo for you said something specifically about not
not using one of them use the other one and one. I probably told you don't use the pet shampoo.
It's for the dog.
Use the human shampoo, you fucking idiot.
You fucking idiot.
If there were two shampoos and I told you not to use one,
I goddamn told you not to use the non-human shampoo
and you fucked it up, you dummy.
I'm not taking the heat because you're illiterate you weren't trying to get me to use your dog
shampoo no maybe was i i don't know i would do that because i think it was i think it was someone
else's i think it was like specifically... I think there might have been
another cheaper shampoo in there,
but it wasn't where you said it was.
It might have been in the cupboard or something.
But there was definitely some dog shampoo out.
Did you enjoy it?
Was it good?
Was it better than human shampoo?
No.
No, it smelled weird.
One of two things happened.
Either you're a fucking idiot
and you misunderstood what I told you
and you used dog shampoo over human. I was jet-lagged. Or I're a fucking idiot and you misunderstood what i told you and you used dog
shampoo for human i was jet lagged or i'm a fucking genius and i pulled off a hilarious
prank that i forgot about and didn't find out about till 12 years later i guess i'm okay with
either either resolution and it was it was definitely a move for me to deliberately use
it for the second time and after that shower shower, after I got dry, I walked straight to the supermarket
and got like three shampoos.
Wow.
The amount of stuff in my life
where I think you've messed with me and you haven't.
It's unbelievable.
I don't know. Maybe I did mess with you.
I don't know. I'm pretty sure I didn't
throw a giant branch at your forehead, though.
You've just done such good work that you can now take credit for just the things that happen to me normally.
I don't know.
I would love to go back.
Because chances are, you know, we were on the bevs.
It was exciting.
I just switched countries.
We were like, hey, hey, hey.
So I may have completely heard the opposite of what you're telling me.
But I don't think I'm that.
How wrong can you get that?
I don't think I would have been like, I'm going to use the one he told me not to use.
You got a 50-50 shot.
Because you also picked up...
You definitely didn't say...
You also picked up a container
clearly labeled pet shampoo.
Probably had a picture of a dog on it,
I'm going to assume.
Probably like a golden retriever
or some dog with like beautiful...
Like an Irish setter
with like beautiful flowing fucking dog setter with like beautiful flowing
fucking dog hair that probably said acme pet shampoo and you held it up in your right hand
you're right-handed and you looked at it had eye contact with it while you squeezed it into your
left hand the whole time looking at it then your eyes followed as you put it down and then you went
back and you've washed your hair so. So you had eye contact with dog shampoo
for at least a minute and a half.
No one continues to read.
If my eyes saw the word shampoo
on a thing that was by a bath,
I'm not going to keep reading.
If that was the first word I saw,
I'm set.
That's shampoo.
I tell you what,
if I was in somebody else's bathroom
and I was looking to get clean,
everything I picked up,
I'd probably fucking read.
And if it had a picture
of an English bulldog on it, I probably wouldn't put it in my hair oh okay here's
here's probably what happened you said uh yeah don't use the orange one use the other one i
avoided the orange one the other one was pet shampoo i'm pretty sure that's exactly what
happened because there was no mention of pet at any point it never came out of your mouth hey be
careful of the dog shampoo you need to give a warning for that? I feel like you would just naturally know
to avoid the dog shampoo.
I don't know.
If you were having someone over, Andrew,
and you had two shampoos, one was for, you know,
like a parrot, wouldn't you warn them about that?
Wait, a parrot? A parrot shampoo?
Do parrots need shampoos? I don't know, I'm just
trying to think of something that you wouldn't want to put on your own head.
Sure, I mean, am I?
Well, why wouldn't I? Why can't I use use the parrot shampoo what is the difference between the human shampoo
yeah i mean dogs have hair gavin's have hair they both got to get clean soap is so yeah but i guess
there's a reason that l'oreal aren't making dog shampoo is that what it looked like gavin because
if that's what it looked like you've no excuse no it didn't look like that there was no picture of a dog on it i like the idea of you just reading
oatmeal shampoo and being like that's odd we're gonna go with this i like to believe that i i
found the only container of fucking dog shampoo that doesn't have a dog on it bullshit it was
like it may have had like a silhouette or something that was small, but I remember it was a white bottle with like a maroon top.
No, it's not.
Posted pictures of giant dogs on the front of your food.
It was silhouetted.
It was suggested for dogs.
They don't want to be too overt with the messaging.
But I tell you something.
Oh, was that it?
No, that's still got a big dog on it.
You mean the one with the picture of a fucking dog on it?
No, they're getting smaller.
A giant Dalmatian right there.
They're getting smaller.
I tell you what though,
I sure as shit didn't have fleas
on my first two days
of the country.
Audience,
if you can find
a dog shampoo,
audience,
if you can find a dog shampoo
in your house
that doesn't have a picture
of a dog on it,
please send it to us.
No, it can have a picture
of a dog,
but I'm telling you, if the word shampoo is bigger than the picture of the dog, I, please send it to us. No, it can have a picture of a dog, but I'm telling you,
if the word shampoo is bigger than the picture of the dog,
I'm just going to see that and stop reading.
If it's not like blindingly dog shampoo,
I don't know who would,
who studies a shampoo?
That's, I mean, a fair point,
but I feel like so many of these bottles
I would look at and go,
this isn't, this isn't correct.
This is, you know, maybe maybe maybe I'm maybe we're focusing this in the wrong at the wrong
person.
Dog shampoo industry.
If you're listening to this podcast, maybe maybe be a little more overt with your advertising.
Maybe make the dog...
Maybe go into Photoshop and the picture of your dog shampoo, the design,
and click on the dog and then make it 30% bigger.
And then make it 10% bigger for Gavin.
And then make the word dog at least 20 points bigger.
I'm going to Google, how does pet shampoo differ from human shampoo?
Yeah, I'm curious.
Can I use pet shampoo?
Different amount of sulfates, pH levels, and cost.
Okay, I'm going to say right now.
Is it cheaper?
Gavin, if that bottle of Tropiclean Oatmeal and Tea Tree Pet Shampoo
is the one in my bathroom,
I can see how you would have fallen for it.
That is a tiny, tiny picture of a dog.
The Chi one?
Yeah.
I think that's...
The oatmeal and tea chi one?
It's tinier.
The dog is tinier than the and sign.
Yeah.
I will say if it is that, okay, great.
I will also say it's been 10 minutes of this conversation
and that's the first time we found one
that's even close to passable as
maybe this is people shampoo i also would look at that bottle and think it's probably also sunscreen
yeah maybe how does i think you were setting me up for failure whether you knew it or not or it
could be it could be it could be skin cream too it could just could just be, like, lotion. That is a deceptive bottle.
I just remember having to use a lot of it to get it to work.
Dog wash?
That one... See, that wouldn't be acceptable.
I think it was definitely a white or a cream bottle, mainly.
Can a human use dog shampoo?
I mean, obviously you did, but, like, is there a danger to it?
Is there a negative?
Different pH levels and whatnot.
Yeah, I mean, I feel like it did the trick.
It definitely took the travel out of my hair.
Now, I'll be honest with you.
That looks familiar to me.
That's probably the dog shampoo I would have used.
Now, that clearly has a horse, a dog, and a cat.
There's more animals.
And that looks like some shit I would have bought.
I don't recognize any of those other dog shampoo brands,
but that one looks familiar.
That one looks the most like medicine, though.
Yeah.
Not one person.
Eric's right.
There's not one silhouette of a person.
I will give you this, Gavin.
All three of those animals are silhouetted on the shampoo bottle.
But that is very clearly a horse.
What's the person?
How many of your shampoos have people on them?
All of them.
You got a picture of a human on your shampoo?
No.
No, no, no.
I have a bottle of shampoo on my desk.
That's true.
No person.
Goat milk shampoo.
shampoo on my desk. No, that's true.
No person. Goat milk shampoo. Wait. I wanted to
use an example of something that
has an animal but is not for the animal.
I believe this is goat milk shampoo
but it's not shampoo for goats. Ah, so
she's got pictures of goats all over it. Yeah.
But you wouldn't want to use it on a goat.
Yeah, different pH levels.
This is my
shampoo.
Here's my shampoo. I don't think that i would be confused this is shampoo
i have my bathroom right now you want me to click a link i guess it says the word surf on it yeah
there's no yeah yeah it's a surf and then it says it says uh foam wash shampoo shampooing for
buoyant body and soft sea breezy texture and And then it says it in other languages too,
but at no point does it say anything about it being for a dog.
$27.
Jeez.
Well,
I don't buy it.
It's I get my,
my girlfriend owns a hair salon.
Oh,
fair play.
I was like 10 times the price of like a head and shoulders.
I get,
I get like a,
I can buy two bottles of dog shampoo at that price.
Andrew,
what shampoo are you rocking?
It's uh, I don't it's a bumble and bumble thing. I guess I don't know. I just kind of grab shampoos
I don't put a lot of thought into it. I might try a dog shampoo the variety
We've we selected bumble and bubbles what I use are you do you and I use the same shampoo? No, I use a different type
I'm using the the the gentle the BB gentle shampoo, I guess oh, are you serious Emily uses that I think
Yeah, it's on my desk
Do you find most shampoo too rough for your hair? Uh?
No, I've never really made any observation about shampoo Jeff
I think I fucked with your shampoo somehow, but I don't remember what it was okay
I don't I just I'd love to hear that what does that mean like you messed with it, or you've used it
Yeah, I know I I'd love to hear that. What does that mean? Like you messed with it or you've used it?
Yeah, no, I messed with it in some way.
What?
Yeah, I was in, or what happened with that?
That definitely happened.
What do you mean?
Well, there's something with Millie and I were the shampoo.
We talked about messing with your shampoo, I think.
Did you replace it with pet shampoo?
I don't remember what it was.
This was a long time ago.
I completely forgot about this, but I think something happened to your shampoo at some point. Really? What was it? I don't remember what it was this is a long time ago I completely forgot about this, but I think something happened to your shampoo at some point really what was it?
I don't remember. I just remember there's a conversation about doing something your shampoo
I don't remember what it was I forgot all about it till I saw your phone with the shampoo
I was like that's a familiar bottle how many years ago was this uh?
Maybe like two year and a half maybe so you're probably a few bottles on from that yeah
You're not currently in the rotation.
You would have used the bottle by now.
What did you do to my shampoo?
I don't know.
I wish I did.
But there was some talk about doing something.
Are you fucking with me right now?
No, I'm not.
There was a conversation about your shampoo and doing something to it.
I just don't remember what that was.
You son of a bitch.
Well, I mean, it wasn't my idea, I don't think.
I feel like it was presented to me
and then a conversation happened
about the options that could be used.
How do you remember nothing of importance about it?
Yeah, I know, it's odd.
I remember discussing it.
I don't remember if it happened though
because I wasn't there.
I didn't physically do this.
But yeah, I think I fucked with your shampoo.
I would love it if you would sit down
and figure out what you did.
I'll think about it.
I'd love to know how I was fucked with.
Next episode, if it happened,
I'll figure it out.
I'll look into that.
My least favorite development in this podcast
is when the Andrew Panton,
is the portion when, I'm sorry, Raymond,
presents some
scenario where he may be
fucking with me or not and I'm left to try
to figure it out for a
week or two or three.
I don't know, a giant pink
porta potty that may or may not show up in my house
every day of my life that I have to
every day I go to bed and I think today I dodged
the porta potty. Thank Christ.
Every day I'm going to take a shower and think like
what did Andrew do to my shampoo and has he done it again
no it's a one time thing
I just I asked Millie
I don't know I'll get back to you
thanks I'm not sure
you okay Jeff
yeah I'm just thinking about
buying new shampoo now
no you don't need to buy new
shampoo i think we're supposed to close the show jeff this is this is your job so it's what you do
all right well thanks for listening to another episode of face uh i'll be honest with you i
don't know what we talked about today what what do we cover what was the point of today can i talk
about a face that we did to ourselves i tried i did I did my best to point us in the right direction.
No.
Oh, hold on a second.
Hold on a second.
I'm not sure we have a full show yet.
Andrew, let's see what you've got.
No, this is a small thing.
We might have a Zimmer's own shirt that might be releasing at the same time as this episode.
I tried to bring it up.
It just got pitted away.
You mean on St. Patrick's Day?
Yeah.
Well, I don't know.
We're talking about...
I asked...
They asked when we want to release the Zimmer's own shirt.
And I asked what you guys thought. I haven't heard. We made a small modification to the image, if don't know. We're talking about, I asked, they asked when do we want to release the Zimmerzone shirt and I asked what you guys thought.
Haven't heard.
We made a small modification
to the image,
if I remember correctly.
Uh,
I asked on our behalf
for that change.
I don't know if that's going to happen.
But, uh,
is it out yet?
Do we think it's out yet?
Is the shirt out yet?
Yeah.
If it is,
it'll be on our Instagram.
I'm going to be optimistic
and say yes.
And if they want to find that Instagram,
where can they find it?
On Instagram? What a stupid question.
Jesus Christ. Do you not link to Instagram
in every episode description, Eric?
I do, but I want to know
you can say it out loud and then people
hear it and then they go, oh, I'll go check it out right now.
Do you know the answer?
F*** FacePod.
I'm trying to get you, the host, to say the name because it holds more weight than when I, some dipshit, say it.
You mean some dipshit, the producer?
Producer Eric?
Yeah.
Dude, you need to have, you need to believe in yourself a little bit more, Eric.
You need to work on yourself.
We might have $10 to $15 worth of budget next week.
I'm excited.
I can get a bottle of dog shampoo.
This is great.
Thanks for listening to F*** Face.
If you haven't heard about it, not only are we a podcast, we're also an Instagram.
And you can find our stuff on that Instagram.
And Eric wants you to know about that.
He even said the name of it earlier.
I don't want to step on him, so I won't say it again.
But if you didn't catch it, rewind a few minutes
till Eric's talking.
I promise you he says it clearly.
And then from that point on, you can continue
till you catch up.
And then this is all new from this point on.
Or you can just fast forward back to this point right here
or a few seconds back so you don't miss anything.
And then continue on with the end of the episode,
which is what this is.
Hopefully you enjoyed it
as much as we enjoyed
bringing it to you.
And if so,
it would be really swell
if you would tell a friend
or a family member
or a coworker
or an enemy
or some sort of a despot
about our podcast
and recommend that they listen to it.
Maybe listen to one.
Maybe listen to 100 episodes.
Maybe listen to the same episode 100 times. I don't tell you how to enjoy your content,
but I do want you to enjoy it. And I want you to tell other people to enjoy it too.
If that's your jam, if not, that's cool. We also like reviews and rates and all those things.
There's stars you can click. There's words you can use to tell other people in a comment about
how much you like the show, or you can review it like your Gene Siskel himself
and tell the world all about the two thumbs up
you gave F*** Face.
And that's it for me.
Gavin and Andrew,
would you like to finish out the episode
with the things you wanted to say?
I peeled an orange and ate it within your intro.
I just ate an entire orange.
I peeled it and ate it.
I think we're good.
What do you mean?
How big was it?
Wait, wait, how big was this orange? It's a tangerine
orange. You ate the whole thing in one
bite? Yeah, I threw it all in my mouth
because I was trying to beat Jeff on the outro.
Hold on.
Don't go anywhere.
Do not go anywhere. Do not go anywhere.
I'll be right back.
It somehow didn't end.
Wow, that might be the most end
we've ever had without ending.
That was over.
Well, we did three intros, so we might as well do two outros.
I'm peeling another orange, but I don't think I can eat another.
I'm back.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I'm preparing something.
So you're going to peel and eat in one bite?
No.
All right.
Well, here's a...
I'm going to do it with a picture of my hand.
Okay.
Let's see.
Mouse and my hand. Am i eating another orange no i just want to know what that means when you say you ate
an orange so here's what i'm gonna do i'm going to send oh that's a bad photo of an orange that's
what that's a bad is it blurry i don't i don't take good photos okay one more no you don't
you've covered all right here we go it's because he's hammering the take picture button
like before the app is open.
Is the tangerine not an established size for an orange?
I feel like we all know that tangerine-
If it's a tangerine, it's not an orange.
It's not an orange, it's a tangerine.
And you said orange, so that's what confused me.
Here, I'm going to-
What is a tangerine?
Like a clementine, a satsuma, a tangerine.
None of them are oranges.
Wait, what does that mean?
It means they're not an orange.
Well, what is this?
Since I can't ever get...
Since I can't ever...
Nick, I'm sorry.
I don't have your phone number.
I'm just going to send this.
An orange is a big fruit.
I texted you guys a photo, okay?
Do you have it?
In that photo are two oranges.
Which size would you say is approximate to what you ate?
I apparently don't even have an orange.
I thought it was like apples.
It was like different types of names for apples.
I thought this was an orange.
Why is your hand in the picture?
To give you a reference to size.
I put my hand in the mouse in for size.
You put your hand behind it.
Yeah, so you can see it.
What's the plastic stuff that's back there?
What is that?
Oh, that is a piece of plastic from the bag that I ripped the orange out of.
You had to get it really quickly.
I was tearing it open like a raccoon.
Yeah, I was running through the groceries.
So, Andrew, point to an orange.
Is it the one on the left or the one on the right?
It's the one on the left.
Yeah, it's the one on the left.
It's the closer one.
That's a tiny.
That's like a little cutie.
That's a tangelo.
Yeah, but it's an orange.
That's not an orange. That's still an orange. No, an orange still an orange on the right god damn it i couldn't put an entire i don't think
i could do that in my mouth at one time that's even that's what was so mystifying to gavin and i
i guess i could try i mean are they all oranges that we've just given different like i guess
there's a blood orange no that's different that's what i'm saying is a tangerine a clementine an
orange a tangerine is a mandarin orange if that's what you're asking yeah it's an orange it's a blood orange. No, that's different. That's what I'm saying. Is a tangerine a clementine an orange? A tangerine is a mandarin orange, if that's what you're asking.
Yeah, it's an orange.
It's a type of orange.
All right.
Well, I just want to know what size.
So you ate a tiny orange.
That's not nearly as impressive as you eating an orange.
It was more of a point of how long that outro was, which didn't end up even being an outro.
The one that we're still doing doing you could have eaten two regular oranges
by now how many regular oranges
should you be able to eat in one
standard length
outro what
I want to know if a tantrum
I want to know how long
now
did he stop did he
what happened to his audio he disappear don't know what he did.
He disappear?
I don't know.
No, I was just waiting
that you were trying to talk.
Yeah, Jeff was yelling
and then stopped yelling.
Well, I was gonna say,
for the confusion,
if tangerine and mandarin
and satsuma are oranges,
then what's an orange?
That's a great question.
Like, what is the regular orange
that you juice?
That's like a... Did you not juice a t orange that you juice? That's like a juice,
a tangerine.
Cause it's not like a granny Smith and then a Bramley and then a
Brayburn and then an apple.
They're all apples.
Right?
Right.
Well,
if you want to find out the answer to that question and more tune in
to the next episode of face,
which is a great outro.
I,
what I would,
and that's a,
I think Eric might have answered my question
I was trying to
now we're using oranges as a unit of measurement
now that we've landed on the size of an orange
Andrew said that my
intro was long enough to
peel and eat one small orange
of Tangelo or Satsuma's side
so I'm trying to figure out
I was just trying to determine
in orange time, what an appropriate
length is. Is it like half an orange?
Is it like you just peel and
then I should be done before you could even get the orange in your
mouth? Should you be able to fully peel
an orange in my outro?
Is that too long? I don't know. I'm just trying to get a sense.
I'm gonna, this is my last orange.
So I've had orange. Have you started
it yet?
He's already eating it.
He's already eating it.
Can you unpeel it and then repeel it?
No.