F**kface - Baby Alien Schlongs // Sleep Hacks [175]
Episode Date: October 11, 2023Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about their stupidity timelines, Apple CarPlay, refurbished cell phones, Andrew hating Google, how many “ha’s” have to be sent for something to be funny, baby alien... schlongs, overdosing on Alka Seltzers, sleep hack: switch sides of the bed, Geoff’s monkey sleepover in Panama, the funniest people they know, running out of gas in SnowRunner, superhero movies, the wimpiest Survivor cast, go to songs that play in your head, and who’s the WOAT? Subscribe to the LetsPlay channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkxctb0jr8vwa4Do6c6su0Q Sponsored by HelloFresh http://hellofresh.com/50face Code 50face , BetterHelp http://betterhelp.com/face Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I was just enjoying the pleasantries.
Sounds like pleasantries were a little heated.
He was just about to introduce it.
Sorry. We were just talking about to introduce it. Sorry.
We were just talking about basketball.
Hello and welcome.
Hey, Gavin, you take it this time.
Hiya. Take it away, Jeff.
Hello and welcome to another episode of the
F*** Face Podcast.
My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me, as always, Andrew
Panton. Way up there in Canada.
Duh. And then Gavin Free. My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me, as always, Andrew Panton. Way up there in Canada.
And then Gavin Free.
Way over there, about five miles away from me right now.
Hey.
And this is episode 175.
I have a question for you guys that I'd like to ask you.
Is it how to spell Canada?
No, I know how to spell it.
Saying it is different.
Oh, okay.
What is the longest time you were stupid before you realized you were stupid?
Like you were doing something dumb
or you had done something dumb
and it was affecting your life.
What's the longest amount of time you've gone
being a fucking idiot?
I assume I'm still doing it.
Yeah, there's still...
I mean, I have some factors for sure.
I guess whatever the distance between me
learning what a computer and keyboard is
and learning that caps lock wasn't the only way.
That's a long amount of time.
That's probably 10 plus years, probably like 15 years.
Okay.
I didn't know that you could charge up the mining beam in Starfield
until I'd already beaten the game.
Excuse me?
Oh yeah, you could hold down the other trigger
and it mines it in like a fraction of the time.
Yeah, like boost it up.
What?
It condenses the beam and makes it more powerful.
It uses up the battery faster, but it's just like
done.
Done.
God damn it.
I don't mine because it takes so fucking long
and it's boring.
Which means I don't build outposts and shit because I don't want to it takes so fucking long and it's boring. Which means I don't build outposts and shit
because I don't want to mine because mining sucks.
Well, now you can.
It's a lot easier than you thought.
Gracie just said, who's stupid now?
Savage.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
Well, I'll add Starfield onto the list.
I have been, I ask, and I feel better now
because Andrew mentioned the keyboard thing
and he said over 10 years.
I just found out yesterday that I've been stupid
for a little under two years.
Oh.
Ooh.
What was that, like 2021?
Yeah, about 2021.
What did you start doing in 2021?
Well, I'm going to tell you right now, it's iPhone related.
Oh, okay.
I, at some point, you know, I have a car and my car has CarPlay, right?
Where you hook, you know, just Bluetooth your iPhone to your car and then you can use your
CarPlay.
It's super, super convenient and awesome.
However, and for about two years, it was awesome in my car. And then one day it just stopped
working. And I went, I did everything I could think of to fix it. You know, unpaired, repaired,
fucking updated my phone, checked in with BMW to make sure there wasn't a firmware
update for my fucking car or something. And I just assumed that I must have done something to break
it or maybe like my iPhone at that point was a little janky. You know, I dropped it a bunch and
the screens cracked and stuff. And I thought maybe I just jostled something or but I tried for months
and months and months to get it to work. As a matter of fact, and then I would to get it to work in Emily's car, and it won't work in Emily's car.
But I can use Emily's phone in my car and in her car, and CarPlay works just fine.
So it's isolated to my phone.
It's not my car, I discover.
It's just my phone.
And I'm not due to buy a new phone for a while, so I'm like, eh, it's whatever.
I go through that process over the first two or three months of this issue in 2021.
And then I would say maybe twice a month from that point on until yesterday,
I would say, eh, let me give it another shot.
Maybe it'll work this time.
I updated my iPhone.
Every time I updated my iPhone, I immediately run out to my car and try to sync it and get
it to work.
And it just doesn't work. So I have to manually connect my iPhone to my car with Bluetooth every time I get
into my car so that I can listen to music and make calls and stuff. I don't have access to CarPlay at
all, but I have like the more rudimentary Bluetooth access, but it's fucking annoying to have to
manually connect it every time. And so I've probably tried to reinstall and get my phone to work with CarPlay
in my car. I'm going to guess legitimately 80 to 100 times over the past two years or so.
I've read about it on Google. I've looked it up on BMW support forums. I have found nobody else
with my specific problem, nobody else complaining about this issue. And i'm just befuddled and i'm lost and so i
just give up and i decide even though i still try even knowing it's not gonna work every couple a
couple times a month i just have given up on ever using carplay on my phone again or on my car again
then i got the new iphone 15 and the first thing i did after setting it up which by the way
i don't understand how it gets harder to
set up a fucking iPhone every new
iteration. They even
give you like, just scan this code and it'll fucking
work. No, it doesn't. I still have to call
and spend 45 minutes on the phone with AT&T
because something's not fucking toggled
on their end and you gotta go through their
fucking whole, their whole
complicated and confusing tree
to just get to talk to a human fucking person
and it's just like i just want to i just want to get an you get a new phone you turn it on it goes
hey man do you want to set this phone up and you go yeah i want to set it up and it's like we got
you this is the 15th version of this phone we know how to do it we know how to do it well do you want
to restore it from the from the cloud or from your local phone either way you try it it's like no
problem dude just hit this button hit this button now going to work. And then it goes, Hey, wait, well,
it didn't work. There's a problem. Try again. And then you try again. They're like, Oh, well,
I don't know what to tell you. This doesn't work. Call AT&T. And you're like, God damn it.
So anyway, uh, after I go through all of that, I run out to my car. I'm very excited. And I,
I set up my phone and I hit connect. I hit to pair it and it starts to pair.
And, uh, this same thing happens with my other iPhone.
It just pairs, it tries to pair forever
and then it eventually gives an undefined error message.
And so I do it and it fucking does that.
And I get that error message and I go,
you gotta be kidding me.
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
I know it's not the car
because I've connected other cars
to this fucking phone before.
Or other phones to this fucking car before.
What the fuck? And I just said, you know what? what i'm gonna try again i'm gonna try a second time and for some reason when i tried a second time and it didn't work it gave me a different error message
that it's never given me before and that error message says carplay doesn't work on uh doesn't
work on iphones that don't have siri enabled And I went, I did disable Siri about two years ago.
Oh my God.
I did disable Siri about two years ago because I fucking hate her.
And so I enabled Siri.
By the way, the first thing I did on my new phone was I disabled Siri because I don't use it.
And so I enabled Siri and it connected immediately.
And just to check, got my old phone connected immediately.
I spent two years without CarPlay
because I disabled Siri.
So if you are having a similar issue out there,
and I'm guessing you're not
because I saw zero people complaining about it online,
enable Siri.
I don't ever use Siri,
but I also isn't really come,
just don't use it.
Do you have to actually disable it?
Do I have to disable it?
Apparently not.
No, I'm living with it now.
I just always bump it on accident or something.
A little thing pops up and I'm like, shut up.
I don't want to talk to you.
I don't talk to anybody, let alone you, a robot lady in my fucking pocket.
I turn off like the always listing part, but I think it's on in general.
Well, I'm a Siri user again now because it's the only way I can get CarPlay to work.
But I want my two years back.
I can't believe that nothing on Google came up with that.
That's crazy.
Nothing.
And I never got that error message before.
Yeah, that's also very weird.
But, irregardless, it's my fault,
and I should have tried that.
I should have thought of that, you know?
I wouldn't have thought of that.
Yeah, they seem so disconnected.
I wouldn't make the assumption that those two would be saint.
Years 46 to 48 of my life
were lesser than they should have been.
And I'm a little pissed off about it.
But I'm only mad at me.
It wasn't anything to do
with the massive pandemic.
It was the fact that
CarPlay didn't work.
Listen, I've already accounted
for the pandemic
and I figured that out.
This is new information
that I'm dealing with.
This is a new disappointment.
Gracie said she would have asked
Siri how to solve the problem.
That would have worked.
I talked about the caviar phone
last episode. The idea of the
caviar phone. I have
bought a caviar phone.
The problem is
it's not my caviar phone my my normal phone just doesn't
doesn't work it's broken wait what do you do not buy refurbished phones is a lesson i've had to
realize i have a google pixel graveyard at my desk i am finding pixels i didn't know i had
this is my fourth pixel i've gone through four Google pixels in probably three years, each one breaking in a different
way.
The most recent one, similar to the Jeff's, it just doesn't connect to my mobile network.
It just will not connect no matter what I do.
I factory reset it.
I've tried to reboot in safe mode.
I've done all these things, Googling, and it just seems to be a bug where they're like,
yeah, they updated the security at one point. And now sometimes it just doesn't
connect for people with certain phones. Oh, so it used to? It used to, I guess. But this is,
this one has had this problem since I bought it refurbished. But when I would reboot it,
it would work. And then last night, it just stopped working entirely. It just will not sync
no matter what I do. are you sure it's not
locked to a different network positive yeah i went through the whole process to make sure it's
unlocked and all that stuff wow it just will not connect and it seems to be a common problem that
there isn't really a specific fix for outside of like replacing the motherboard which is more
complicated than i want to do to i don't want take it in cause it's a refurbished,
like it's a piece of shit essentially,
but I'm done with refurbished phones and I've now ended up with a caviar
phone,
um,
for myself,
which is actually don't own it yet.
I shouldn't say I own one yet.
I went to buy it and I put in my information and it said,
great.
Uh,
my bank then sent a notification saying through the website,
we have texted your phone to confirm that you want to go through.
So I am unable.
I'm unable to do.
I think I'm just done with Google in general.
They thought I hate Google so much.
I was trying to recover a complete aside and email.
I knew the password to the account.
You got another level of angry
mid-sentence i'm not one mad i'm just thinking about my google issues recently i i set up an
email for my mom in like 2016 and that there was an issue with it and she couldn't get into her
pinterest it was a whole thing and so i said i'd try to figure it out for her and i went through
it i determined what the password is. I have the recovery email
sent to my alternate email. So
I was getting like, hey, this is you emails.
The only problem is the phone
it was connected to was her landline
that doesn't exist anymore. It's
long gone. It was the landline number.
So I'd go to that and I'd say,
well, I don't have this number. And they'd say, well, go
fuck yourself. We need that. Why is
it not enough for me to know the password of the account, have the alternate email?'t have this number. And they'd say, well, go fuck yourself. We need that. Why is it not enough for me
to know the password of the account,
have the alternate email?
They're just like,
you don't have all four of what you need.
Having the password for the account
and the alternate,
what's the point of having an alternate email on it?
I hate Google.
I don't even have a caviar phone yet.
I'm going to have to fucking go to 7-Eleven
to try to buy a phone.
It's a nightmare.
I'm living in phone hell hell can you imagine explaining that problem to your grandfather in 1955
i it was tough to explain to my mom in 2023
this is what passes for problems in our i love the amount of yeah you'd be explaining to him
all the things that aren't invented yet that you need
to use a telephone.
To use a telephone.
And he's like,
hey,
just go down to,
just go down to
the fucking Ma Bell
and just rent a new phone.
What are you talking about?
They come in three colors.
Also,
while you were telling
that hilarious story,
Andrew,
I googled caviar phone
just for the hell of it
and it exists. What? That's, yeah, I googled caviar phone just for the hell of it. And it exists.
What?
Yeah, those look awesome.
Sublime Luxury Samsung Galaxy.
Is it like a rebranded Samsung?
By caviar.
It looks like it.
Yeah, like a caviar.
That is deluxe.
I can't wait for you to get one of those.
No, I don't think they're going to have that at the corner store, but I'll let you know.
I'll text you in six days when I'm able to activate this thing
and do all that.
Oh, it's a nightmare.
So what broke on the phone, the Pixel that I sent you?
That was, I dropped it on the bed,
and the screen turned off and hasn't turned on again.
And that's different to the one that you bit.
I think that damaged the integrity.
I think that was the same phone i
think that weakened the screen integrity and then i like dropped it face first on a a soft bed and
the screen just went out it was like it was barely holding on i guess then the one after that um
was uh i think that was on me i think i think I dropped it in the tub That was a tub issue the third one
The screen also just randomly died and the fourth one will not connect to my network no matter what I do
It's pointless as currently here's the issue to I when I set it up when I factory reset it
I don't know my gmail password and with my gmail history I'm
scared to like an easy way to figure it out is you sign out and then if it's saved in your computer
it'll autofill and then you can click show password I'm scared to do it because I bet you
if I do sign out it will ask to like text my phone to confirm that and I'll just go through
that cycle again so I can't do that so I just my phone currently is essentially just an alarm clock
the only functionality I have on it I know you don't want other people's old phones anymore
but if it helps i have an iphone 13 here that uh as of yesterday connects to carplay that's a pretty
cool feature well that's pretty cool also i'm willing to join the villain side now i know you
guys stick on my bubbles the videos that won't process correctly me being the android guy in
the text chats i this is the
closest i've been to joining the other side well my biggest issue is that i can't i don't have any
signal and i it takes me like 17 attempts to send you one picture and then i'm pretty sure you get
them 17 times even though it says message not sent i well you did recently send me a three ha ha ha
but it went through twice so i counted that as a six i did that as a good i boosted myself i gave myself a little bump in the ranks of how funny
what i sent you was wow a three ha's huh oh six actually well before yeah we're we're were you
afraid you were having an off day there or something? No, a three-ha is, like, fine.
I'm okay with a three-ha.
That's good.
That's a pretty fucking bare minimum, I think.
Well, you're very generous with your haas.
You're like a ten-ha guy.
You can send eight haas and it's a base hit.
You get a two or a three-ha from me, that's...
I did not like what you said.
Yeah, no, you're right.
It's a different scale for you, but for Gavin, a three ha is like, that was funny.
I think I've noticed with Eric,
I think Eric's more of a lol guy.
I made a conscious effort last year that I,
ha ha ha is a good response sometimes
when something I find genuinely funny.
LOL has a great condescending tone to it
that I have really adopted.
And since last year, I've been hanging on to it.
So I've been an all lowercase LOL guy for a little while now.
Oh, I don't know what that says about me.
I think it's good.
I know.
I mean, because they're funny.
But at the same time, I want you to read it and go,
is that a little bit condescending?
And maybe.
This is what I think of when I hear LOL now.
Oh, LOL surprise.
I don't know what those are.
What is that?
I've seen them all over the place, but I don't know.
Emily's sister's kids are really into them.
So I see them opened up a lot at Christmases and birthdays.
Is it like there's a hold on?
Gracie said there's a freaky scandal with those dolls.
Somebody get Gracie a microphone. we're we're already on it um well yeah grace grace you jump off mute
sorry if this part sounds bad but yeah okay well i don't have a mic but if you dip the dolls in
cold water their clothes come off and they're wearing like bondage is that true though i will though. I will show you a picture. I had to do an entire project on it. Is that the LOL surprises?
LOL surprise S&M.
That's wild.
It's funny that that's the only thing I know about this product now.
I know one fact about it and they're bondage when dipped in water.
Which is not a great kid's toy.
Yeah, now I'm faced with knowing the answer to this.
Do I have a responsibility to tell the family?
I'm not staying out of it.
I don't want anything to do with it.
Yeah, no, no, you just avoid it.
You don't get into that, Jeff.
You just let it be.
Did you ever have those little alien, squishy alien in the eggs things?
And everyone said that if you tied their dicks together, they'd make a baby alien.
What? No.
What the heck?
What does any of that mean?
What the fuck are you talking about?
I first of all don't know what your toy is, and I also don't know who the everyone is.
I didn't have either of those in my life.
Do you tie a lot of dicks together?
No, I never had one. It was like a little plastic egg with slime inside, and in the slime was like a little rubbery alien, like stretchy alien. But everyone would always
say that, like, because they had dicks. Everyone always said if you tied the dicks together,
a baby alien would grow. And I can never understand-
Who's everyone? Just all of my friends who had them. Is that what it looked like yeah but it had a schlong and then
uh all my friends were like yeah yeah yeah if you tie the dicks together it makes a little baby
alien ever like okay so what's going on here oh what the is that what these ones don't have dicks
they're making a they're making a baby alien website, Ladbible, that is, you know, just like Barstool, but for, like, blokes.
Scientific experiment confirms once and for all whether aliens can have babies.
And it is exactly what Gavin is talking about.
They didn't experiment to see.
Yeah.
So my friends would never show me.
They didn't experiment to see.
Yeah.
So my friends would never show me.
And one day I was like, look, I really don't believe that tying these two alien dicks together would make a baby.
So two of my friends tried it and they're like, oh, yeah, it didn't work.
It's not working.
Like it was like a problem with those specific aliens.
But I was like, how would it how did that rumor start?
Where'd that come from?
Yeah, I don't know.
I thought you're talking about like those dinosaurs'd put in water and they'd grow.
Those were always awesome as a kid.
The little sponge pill things?
Yeah, the little sponge things you'd put in the water and then the next day it would become fish.
Yeah, they were the shit.
Your friends were like, what do you want to do after school today?
You want to go play cricket?
Nah.
Football?
Nah.
What if we tied alien dicks together?
I'll be over at 315.
It was like a well-known thing that it worked,
but no one had ever seen it work.
How does that stuff, how does, like, the schoolyard stuff
kind of, like, prevent, yeah, right?
Propagate to all the schoolyards around the world?
I don't know.
Like, there's stuff like Rod Stewart and Richard Gere
that have, like, urban legends, and I just don't know. There's stuff like Rod Stewart and Richard Gere that have urban legends
and I just don't know how me
in third grade hears about that.
Why would you tie Richard Gere's dick to
Rod Stewart's?
A gerbil comes out of his ass.
I think
this just might be genius marketing
from the company because really what they're selling
is buy two, get one free
in this environment.
It's a trick to get you to buy two aliens and it ultimately gives you nothing under the belief of you're gonna get a free third one yeah i feel like if that came from
within the company it's the most genius thing i've ever heard how do we all right well all right hold
on how do we do that what do you mean what do we like if you how do we do that how do we tie alien
dicks no no no how do we how do we how do we propagate some sort of a schoolyard thing so that people
think they have to buy two face merch items and have them have sex to make a new face
merch item?
Well, we get into scamming.
Yeah, I don't want to do that to the audience.
Second of all, I don't think you can when you talk about it within the thing.
I think that's a a secret or subtle.
It won't work.
It won't work for everybody who listens to 175,
but think of all the people that miss it.
And then somebody will mention it.
This is how these things propagate.
Do you think maybe it's a thing where we try to get people to listen?
It's like if you listen to stuff backwards
or you listen to the episode two times.
Oh, that's see, I like that.
I like a listening version
of that not a monetary one yeah like if you if you uh if you wear an ian shirt and say and say
pencil three times into a into a mirror with the lights off ian will appear behind you or something
that's great you know my favorite one of those is and i i'm so mad that i don't remember her name she was such a fucking smart um ad executive but she is the reason why in alka seltzer ads they drop in two tablets in
the commercial because i guess you only need one and they're originally doing one and she realized
that if they displayed people using two they would use the product more frequently and they would
sell more and it like almost overnight doubled the sales can you od on
alka-seltzer i don't know it seems like a vicious thing to od from like you'd explode i think you
could od on anything but also it makes sense with the marketing too right because plop fizz
isn't nearly as fun to say as plop plop fizz fizz oh literally that's very true you can't have that
second plot yeah um can i take a step back in what we were talking you're
talking about ian like you know ian appears behind you whatever i had a merch meeting that uh
that that you missed earlier this week andrew and uh you're thinking of me it was me and tony
kind of like kicking around a couple of ideas and he said something about it an Ian you know what would like an Ian
like figure like a bobblehead be you know
is that something and I'm like oh that's like such a
fun it's like such a funny idea to do
like a bobblehead Ian and he's like right so what's the
back of Ian's head and I
don't know the answer to that question
is there a back
well the back is facing downwards
it would just be like
a sauce it would just be like a hot dog roll, right?
Yes.
Yeah.
You'd have a little head roll.
Is that what it is?
I think...
Well...
It was just...
I was like...
Andrew's running out of bits for me.
Okay, cool.
So it's not just...
Okay, I thought it was me.
I got worried.
Did you leave the planet?
What do you mean?
Did you switch to your pixel?
Are you on your pixel?
No. It sounds like
you're talking to us from space.
Really? Yeah, you got
robot. Is it all these pictures
of aliens that have done it?
I'm trying to...
Here's another one.
Oh my god.
Stop talking.
Oh, hang on.
You're going to make Andrew into more of an alien, Gavin.
Stop.
That's the one with the dick on it.
You can see it's schlong.
What the?
Oh, yeah.
Look at his little wiener.
Andrew, are you there?
Are you an alien?
Yeah, well, what?
How do I?
Uh-oh.
Oh, boy.
Uh-oh.
Are you trying to print something right now?
Oh, he's gone.
He's gone.
What are you printing? It's been a while since we've had an Andrew right now? He's gone. What are you printing?
It's been a while since we've had an Andrew Tech problem.
It's true.
Do you talk now?
Andrew, are you there?
I want everyone at home to know,
Andrew dropped from our call and immediately rejoined.
We asked him to talk, and he has said nothing.
So that means something broke.
Hello?
Oh, my God. Oh something broke. Oh my God.
Oh no.
Oh God.
This is how seasons change.
Is this the end of the summer of 98?
What?
Yeah,
definitely.
I can't understand.
This is the moment the summer of 98 ends.
As of this moment,
it's fall y'all.
It was such a good season.
It was a great season, but we can't continue to pass this.
Season 98 was tremendous.
It was one of my favorites.
TPG asked me today, he just went,
bro, when does the summer of 98 movie thing come out?
And I went, what?
He said, yeah, I recorded a thing for the summer of 98 movie thing.
When does that come out?
And I went, like a month ago.
And he went, what?
No, no, it didn't.
What do you mean?
No, it didn't.
He couldn't believe that we included his whole thing at like the end.
He was so excited about that.
That's awesome.
He's in town right now, right?
Yeah, I talked to him.
I saw him today.
I was going to try to swing by and see him in person, but I wasn't able to.
I'm seeing him tonight.
He told me to watch the Pope's Exorcist.
That sounds like a very TPG thing to say.
That was his fuego recommendation.
His full fuego.
Oh, man.
Hey, I got a...
Oh, wait.
Is that an Andrew?
No, that was him leaving.
I have a little mini life hack for you guys.
Oh.
Yes.
If you're ever bored...
You know how sometimes you go stay in a hotel,
like a really nice hotel,
and you just get a really good night's sleep?
It's a nice bed,
it's a different bed or whatever,
and there's just something about being in a calm new room
in an unfamiliar bed,
and you go to sleep,
and you just wake up and you're like,
I slept like a fucking rock in this hotel room.
At least that happens to me a lot
when I stay in hotel rooms.
I figured out the other night,
Emily and I,
we were tickling each other
in bed or something.
Not sex,
but just like fucking
annoying each other.
And we're just like,
you know,
just fucking around.
And I ended up on her side of the bed
and she on my side of the bed
and I was like,
let's just sleep like this.
And I'd never slept
on her side of the bed before.
I had the best fucking night of sleep.
So my life hack is,
if you ever get a little bored
sleeping in your bedroom,
sleep on the other side of the bed. Switch places.
You might be surprised. It's fun.
Are you not worried that you'll fall out?
Fall out of bed? Yeah,
because the drop
is on a different side. Oh, like
I'll think it's safe to roll in my sleep?
No, dude, I sleep like a vampire.
I sleep like Dracula.
Like, straight like a pencil
and with my arms folded at my chest
like exactly like
Bela Lugosi rising from
rising from a crypt
is how I sleep
and so I don't move at all
I had this conversation with my wife
a month or two ago
and we both thought
that it was insane
to sleep on the other person's side of the bed
it's I would have never done it
if I hadn't found myself on that and just
was like feeling adventurous and was like, you know what, fuck it.
Let's see what happens. I had a great night's
sleep and it was a lot of fun. And Emily did?
I don't know. I don't really
ask her.
No, she slept fine too.
We talk about it the next day. How did Emily sleep?
I don't know. I don't give a fuck. Why would I give
a shit about that?
No, she also agreed that it was a good night's sleep uh it wasn't as good a night's sleep for her
because she sleeps on she has like a fan on her i explained her complicated sleep ritual oh yeah
you'd be like all in her so i was i was in between her and her equipment which i think ultimately
probably wasn't the best for her but man i see why she does it i was fucking sleeping like a rock after
having spent some more time with your small wife eric i can imagine her not being cool with swatching
sides yeah she's fair she's just you know she's particular she's specific sometimes you gotta
throw caution to the wind and say fuck it okay yeah we're in different relationships fair enough fair enough so a bad a bad life hack eric uh yeah i don't know you also started this
off by going you know how you sleep so well in hotels oh i sleep like dog shit yeah i just
dude no every once in a while when i go to a hotel if i'm just there for a night or something
it's a decent nice hotel with a big king size bed
and this room is super cold
and it's pitch black because they have blackout
curtains and you throw like CNN
on quietly in the background or something
I just fucking go to
I sleep deep
like core of the earth sleep
like I'm rolling
around with slea stacks in my sleep I'm so fucking
okay but like you do you
um gracie loves a hotel sleep see great uh what what was your sleep but like you slept in like
the army and stuff where it was like you you know you had to like really make something work
right like oh yeah yeah you want to you want to hear the worst night of sleep in my life? Yes.
When I was in the Army in 1994, it was a bad year for me. I was deployed, maybe it's 95,
I was deployed about eight months out of that year to Kuwait and to all different places.
And so I had been gone almost the whole year and I came home
and I was, uh, I was about to go, uh, I came back home to Fort hood where I was stationed and I
went into work on a Monday. I had literally gotten home from Kuwait on Thursday, I think.
And I had the weekend and I got home Monday morning and I was in a fucking great mood
because Wednesday I was going to go home to Alabama to see my family for Christmas.
And so I just had like an easy two days of work. And then I was going to go home to Alabama to see my family for Christmas.
And so I just had like an easy two days of work. And then I was, you know, on vacation and I got into the, I got into the office Monday morning and my, my boss was there and he goes,
uh, it was really, really nice guy. I really liked him. He goes, Jeff, come here, son. And I go,
anytime your boss calls you son, you know, you're in, you're in for it. And I was like,
in my head, I was like, what I did, I did a lot of dumb shit recently. What did I, you know,
what am I about to get in trouble for?
And he goes, son, have a seat.
And he goes, I'm about to fuck you.
And I was like, okay.
So you undid your belt.
Yeah, and I don't know if this is literal or what.
I'm new to the army.
And he goes, I really hate to do this to you, but you're getting deployed.
And I laughed.
I was like, no, I can't be getting deployed.
I'm going home in two days.
I'm on vacation.
He goes, yeah, I had to rescind your leave.
I'm really sorry.
I need you to go on this important deployment. And I go, well, I have to call my mom and tell her I'm not coming home for Christmas.
And he's like, yeah, you do that, but you can't tell her where you're going.
It's a secret mission and you're not allowed to mention it.
And so I was really pissed about that.
And we were going to Panama.
By the way, I'm telling this story to vamp while Andrew fixes his textbook policy.
Am I fixed?
Yeah, you sound good.
So I can end the story.
I'm not trying to take up the whole fucking episode.
I was just trying to cover some time.
But anyway, he goes, I got to send you to Panama.
What happened was a bunch of Haitian refugees left Haiti and they ended up in Panama and they didn't know what
to do with them. So they built these like, honestly, like internment camps. It was kind of
sketchy and scary just to kind of house them all and feed them and take care of them while they
figured out, like, do they have to go back to Haiti or do they assimilate into Panama or whatever?
And and so I had to call my mom in front of him and tell her that I was going at it.
I was which is not a fun call.
You want to have with your mom two days before you're supposed to see her for Christmas when you're 19 years old and you've barely left home and say, I have to go out of the country.
I'm not coming home for Christmas and I'm not allowed to say where I'm going.
And my mom just starts crying.
And she's like, oh, Jeff, oh, no.
And I go, yeah, my boss, he won't let me say where I'm going.
But he didn't say I can't rhyme it.
So it rhymes with Manama.
I'm going to a place that rhymes with Manama.
And he just fucking like his fucking steam came out of his ears.
This was right in front of him?
Yeah, it was right in front of him.
You idiot.
I don't give a fuck, dude.
I was mad.
And anyway, he just like he let it go. I saw him like settle himself. You know, he mad. And anyway, he just let it go.
I saw him settle himself.
He did the, you know,
like, stuff it down, stuff it down.
And then he goes, okay.
And so I get off the phone with my mom
and I go, where am I going?
And he goes, or when am I going?
He goes, that's the other thing.
You need to go pack.
You're leaving in like four hours.
So I immediately went home
and luckily I had done laundry
because all my laundry was fucking full of sand
from Kuwait. And so I had just done laundry over the weekend. And so I packed up and I went went home. And luckily, I had done laundry because all my laundry was fucking full of sand from Kuwait.
And so I had just done laundry over the weekend.
And so I packed up and I went to Panama.
Then I get to Panama.
I don't really know what's going to happen when I get there.
We're staying on the fucking Panama Canal.
Like, I'm looking at the Panama Canal from my tent.
And worst night of sleep of my life.
It's not like 140% humidity in Panama somehow all year round. Like, it's like like a hundred and forty percent humidity in panama somehow all year
around like it's like walking through a shower at all times and the bugs on the panama canal are the
size of eric's dog and uh also by the way we got there and all of our food spoiled and so the army
didn't have food for fucking three days like i didn't get to eat three fucking days because the
food spoiled uh but that's a different story.
So anyway,
so we set up these tents
and these big open air tents
like right on the Panama Canal,
which I'm like,
are there alligators?
Like are they going to come
eat me in my sleep?
Because I can fucking see
the water from here.
This doesn't seem safe.
But we set up these mosquito nets
because there were
fucking bugs everywhere.
And then I went to sleep.
And as soon as it gets dark
and everybody goes to sleep,
the monkeys come out.
And the monkeys start screaming and yelling and fighting
and attacking each other and destroying all of our stuff.
And you can hear it.
The monkeys are like, it's terrifying to hear a monkey in pitch black.
And it's even worse to hear like, I don't oh, maybe 50 of them is what it sounds like.
And anyway, you and so I had to sleep through bugs biting me every second and monkeys screaming
in my ear all night long, praying that a monkey doesn't come and eat me.
And and that was like the longest night of my life.
And when I got up in the morning, I was covered in bug bites from head to toe, like a horror movie.
Like what?
Like what?
What do you remember?
Do you remember Bill Pullman?
Pullman or Bill Pullman in Weird Science when when she turns him into like a big blob of like essentially like a big zit.
That's what my whole fucking body looked like
and so that's the worst night of sleep in my life
sleeping on the Panama Canal
being terrified of monkeys and getting
malaria six or seven times
yeah that's what I look like
that's what I look like right there
what a dog shit night of sleep
that's terrible
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got a bad night of sleep it might sound very funny yeah i definitely nothing close to that yeah nothing nothing
even remotely even kind of you sound good now yeah you sound good you should have heard me yell
when i went to message nick to help me with this tech support thing realizing my phone has nothing
on it i opened it to a blank phone
i hate google so much it just feels my rage even further um it's just been a bad tech thing for me
i do have a thing when i sleep when you get woken up unexpectedly do you immediately go into like
attack or suspicious mode like how do you react typically when that happens?
Yeah.
If somebody wakes you up,
like for me,
typically my whole life,
I've been like this.
When I get woken up unexpectedly,
I'm always immediately very accusatory and assuming that something awful is
happening.
Do you get mad?
No,
I don't not mad at the person,
but mad that like that there must be some situation that is causing this that
is not good it's a lot of like what why are you why are we why is this happening is sort of the
general uh thought i have when i get woken up it happens a lot i had it happen recently um i've
been really into party animals which just came out it a great game. It's a lot of fun.
There's like a bunch of,
it's like gang beasts,
but with really cute characters.
And I would say more fun,
in my opinion.
And there's all these skins and stuff.
And Eric says,
do you want to play on Let's Play?
Absolutely, I want to play on Let's Play.
I'm so excited to play that with you guys.
It's so much fun and chaotic.
It's great.
But they have all these skins.
And a lot of games now do like Twitch integration with their stuff.
Where like either if you're streaming, you get like additional things.
Or in this case, it was you had to watch streamers that had like a certain credit to their account.
And if you watch for an hour, you would get one thing.
And then an hour more, you'd get another thing.
And they had like five things, including skin so i thought i'll just set this
up and i went to steam which doesn't even connect to xbox they found out so there's no reason for
me to do this i have no access to the things that i was getting but i was just watching twitch
streamers that had the credit and then whenever i hit enough time i'd hit approve and that was sort of my evening that night i uh everything's muted i went to bed and then at 3 45 a.m i just start hearing
yelling i'm just hearing a voice yelling and i immediately go into defense mode i think like is
there somebody screaming outside what is going on and so i hear the voice i wake up i go i say like what
is why is this happening why is this happening to my partner bet and then i i yell what do you want
and i realized what had happened is when you have twitch muted for a streamer it will unmute them
if it goes to a different account so i think the person that i left it on running for they stopped streaming at 3 45 a.m
my time went to a different streamer and it was just this woman reading off her recent subscriber
list at full volume on my computer but i thought that there was like an attack going on or that
like somebody had broken into the space i was so confused and angry i was yelling what do you that
was a pretty bad night of sleep
me yelling at my computer what do you want when it's just a twitch streamer reading like thanks
for the follow essentially auto unmute might be the worst feature i've ever heard well it's
terrible it's a terrible feature it should not be a thing that exists yeah i i've uh i wake up to
because i just fall asleep to youtube videos a lot of the time and uh it puts me down some
really weird youtube holes but i kind of just the next night i'll just click on whatever's on the
recommended so at the moment it's just like police interrogation videos and something about the audio
being so shit it puts me right to sleep i don't really ever know what i'm being interviewed about
just like gavin finds police interrogating murderers to be calming and soothing i don't
know if they're murderers i don't know they they're murderers. I don't know. They're all murderers.
I only ever hear the first like eight minutes of it.
But it always like auto plays onto like a live car chase,
like a three hour video of just like helicopters reporting on where cars are.
And that's also very peaceful.
I found that sometimes I'll wake up to like talking about where the car went
and it just puts me right back to sleep.
I'm imagining you sleeping in a race car bed while listening to voices of people saying where the car went.
Like you're dreaming that you're driving around causing crimes.
I have a question for you, Jeff.
Okay, I have an answer.
I probably have an answer for you.
I think you have an answer.
okay I have an answer I probably have an answer for you I think you have an answer
is it about snow runners and how
I spent fucking five hours last night
trying to move concrete slabs from the
dam at Smithville or the quarry
by the dam at Smithville all the way up the big lake
because yes it was fucking brutal
what is snow runners
it's the game I play every night
you're playing snow runners every
is that like the truck game
yeah every night of my life man I think
I've played snow runners oh my god
just haul
just haul and freight I
mean that sounds like someone we should play
yeah I don't know we were talking I was
talking about it with my with my dudes last night
and I don't know if y'all are ready for snow runners
I really don't I don't know
so you got like a truck crew is
everybody doing snow runnersners right now?
Just my crew.
Just me and my two dudes that I play video games with.
That's what I love.
So you guys are in a multiplayer session just running freight.
Every night from 10 a.m. until about 3 a.m.
I know last night was a school night and I wasn't supposed to play late,
but I could sleep in a little bit today.
And so I allowed myself to play until 3.
So does that potentially mean that Andrew and I should start playing it separately
to get up to the level where we could potentially
fit in with what you're doing?
I mean...
Getting trained up on running cargo.
I just don't know if you guys...
Like, I'm not trying to be rude,
but it's a lot.
It's hard.
It's a lot of work.
No, it is really hard.
I think I played it
and I couldn't figure out how to shift gear.
So it's just driving around
really slow for like 20 minutes.
So is it like ultra realistic?
No, it's not ultra
but there's a learning curve
and there's a rhythm to it, dude.
It's slow and steady.
Like I'm not kidding
when I say I spent,
I mean some of it
was because of the game
being a piece of shit
and crashing
but I spent about three hours
literally just going from one side of the map to the other.
And getting stuck and having to be wedged out by one of the other dudes and vice versa.
But yeah, if you're going to do it, definitely play it.
And we'll see.
I don't know that it makes for content, but it might.
I will show you one thing, though.
Here, I'm going to send you guys a photo and while i'm doing that andrew why don't you ask me my question
yeah my question jeff is uh it's okay if you say no this i'm just curious where your mind goes
if you were on uh let's say another podcast so you're a guest on another podcast and somebody asked who's the funniest person you know
would either of us come up in that conversation as even like a a passing mention somebody from
this podcast would i just can't imagine answering that question without at least bringing you or
gavin up uh my my initial response would be to say, I, I'm the funniest person I've ever met.
You get all your own jokes.
Have you met yourself?
Yeah, I get all my own jokes.
I really, I really tickle me.
Like I, I'm an audience of one and I, and I love, I love it.
Uh, no, I think you and Gavin are easily two of the funniest people I've ever met.
And I've met a lot.
Gavin are easily two of the funniest people I've ever met and I've met a lot I've been
blessed in and outside of this
career to be
around some very very
funny people I'd say the same thing
about you and Gavin and I just
thought that's interesting I wanted to see if we're on the same page
with that that's yeah you guys would be
I mean I've never thought to rank it
I think you know either by I
don't I mean you guys are both funny in very
different ways I think you're equally funny by I don't I mean, you guys are both funny in very different ways. I think you're equally funny, but you're also like.
I you delight me like I do a podcast with you guys because I'm so entertained by both of you and how hilarious I think you both are.
So I don't I don't know who I would put in front of you, honestly.
Yeah, I feel like funniest person.
If I was asked that,
it would definitely be a pool of people.
But if...
You were, and we weren't on the list.
So that's why I was bringing this up.
I just want to make sure
Jeff and I were on the same page here.
Oh, you're talking about
the store that's always open?
Well, you were asked the question,
and we did not come up once
or even a thought of bringing this up.
I didn't say anyone, did I?
I thought I would immediately...
No, you did.
You absolutely did. not us so I just
want to make sure Jeff and I were on the same page that we would include you yeah I would include
Gavin what did I say we're not on his list Jeff you said the Willems you didn't mention us huh
wow get fucked us yeah no it was a I thought maybe a throwaway or like not even I'm not even
want to be at the top of the list.
I just thought a mention would have been nice for us,
but it's okay.
I don't know.
To be honest, I was trying not to shit myself.
The whole thing's a blur.
So, Gav, I guess what you're saying is
if you had the opportunity to fire Andrew and I
and replace us on F*** Face with the Willems,
you would do that.
No, I think I was just saying that Elise is very funny.
I'm not going to argue with you argue with no they're definitely funny absolutely
deserving of it I just thought
I was curious what you would say Jeff
because I know what I would say and I know
what Gavin would say
yeah you guys would
you guys would probably I'd probably mention
you you two and
Bernie honestly as the funniest
people I've ever met I just love that Gavin phrased that like he was going to answer it like he hadn't already.
I was very happy.
But what is this?
So you have.
So let me show you that I'm in a truck.
It's me in a truck.
And you can see to the right of the truck.
There's a yellow square, like a yellow square.
That's where I need to turn in that cargo I have on the back of my truck.
That is where I ran out of gas.
No!
Have you ever seen somebody
get closer to an objective
and run out of gas
and not be able to complete it?
Now, the problem with this was
I was in a different part of the map.
Antonio, my friend Antonio,
had to come bring me gas
and fill my car up. He couldn't just give you a nudge? Well, I mean, my friend Antonio, had to come bring me gas and fill my car up.
He couldn't just give you a nudge?
Well, I mean,
he's got to get to me either way.
So he has to get from,
so they have to get from where they are.
To me, it's 45 minutes.
So basically,
I got there,
ran out of gas
six feet from finishing the mission,
and then I had to wait
about 45 minutes
for them to bring gas.
Real time.
Yeah.
Probably half hour for,
yeah.
Of real time.
How big is this map?
They're big.
Well,
it's not just that it's big.
It's hard.
It's fucking hard to traverse,
dude.
It's bloody.
You're rolling over.
They're trying to get to me and they're getting stuck.
And then one of them has to go get a crane to get them out.
It's a fucking thing.
But I couldn't,
I laughed probably for 15 straight minutes
last night when i literally ran out of gas right there that's unbelievable how far how many minutes
had you been driving it was worse than that uh so what happens is i'm the way it works is one
person opens up a multiplayer session so it's in their world and then you join their world and their world persists but your
your part of it doesn't so like if i bring one of my trucks in and i drive around if i leave that
truck disappears so uh it was a very simple mission where i go and i get the the the stuff
from the quarry and then i just have to drive it across a fucking dam and a whole bunch of stuff to a over a mountain to another uh part of the map you have to like load into another
section of the map that in itself could take a half hour 45 minutes but what kept happening to
us last night is uh i'd get about like five eighths of the way through it and get kicked
from the game and when you get kicked from the game all your progress just disappears so the
the the truck just goes away. And so
then when you come back in, I have to respawn at the spawn point and then spend a half an hour,
45 minutes getting to the spot to get the hull and then take it up again. I got kicked, I think,
three times before I was able to turn it in. And so this point right here, when I'm right at the
edge, I've already been kicked from the game. i've already lost probably an hour and a half of my life trying to turn this in and i now
have to wait 30 to 45 minutes for them to bring gas to me and just pray that i don't get kicked
in the meantime oh i just i pulled it up i have played this game it was absolutely the game that
i loaded in i think i I think I got the truck stuck
and then I just closed it after
like 20 minutes. It was a lot.
It's so much fun. It's so
fucking much fun and we definitely should play it
sometime, but it's a slow. I mean, if we're
going to play it, we got to play it for like three hours.
So you guys got to buckle up.
I'm ready for that. I'm up for it.
Okay. Yeah, we'll look at we'll look into it.
Definitely for sure. I mean, I don't want to butt in on your...
You're not butting in on anything.
Outside of...
I think they would be entertained to see other people play the game, because I think we're
the only three people on Earth that are playing this game.
It's on Game Pass, too, which is great.
Yeah, it's free.
What's the name of it?
Snow Runner.
Snow Runner?
Okay.
Yeah.
It's a truck you start you start in michigan and you just complete missions in michigan you know fixing bridges and hauling
lumber and and concrete uh slabs and bricks and shit and then you make your way to alaska
and then you can go to there's deal there's like 10 dlc places you can go so you can go all over
the place i'm excited we're gonna record a Tony Hawk thing after
this that I think will be a lot of fun
I got kicked out of my
Sea of Thieves account last night it took me like
five hours to figure that out but I'd love to do Sea of Thieves
stuff what happened it just
I kept getting this error called lavender
beard it wouldn't let me load in and
then it's a kind of annoying thing
where every support thing I found
was for people on pc
and uh it does not help me as a console player and i tried so many things nothing would work
i then realized that oh it's a network issue so i had to figure out how to port forward and
that fixed it but it was i was trying to clean up some items in the monkey island stuff uh that i
hadn't done and it took just my entire
evening was spent troubleshooting Sea
Thieves but I think we'll have so much fun playing
that as a group we need to organize that
at some point. A comment lever suggested
that possibly the reason your
rep is so low by the way is because
of all your like destiny
rubber banding and stuff.
I saw that that isn't accurate
because I did that with a friend.
So we were gifting wins.
So I don't know why people would be mad.
It was a doubles playlist
and my friend and I
were both doing the same thing.
Maybe they wanted to challenge.
I guess, but like,
are you going to leave negative rep
for like not?
That seems like a weird move.
That's fair.
Did you guys end up recording
a Warzone or no?
Yes, we did. Was was it fun it was fun
i had a good time yeah it was good i enjoyed it i mean it's it's not not a lot particularly
happened in that one but it was no it's not the best video we've ever made but we had fun doing
it we couldn't find anyone in the map yeah strangely enough like we played three games
and encountered like six people.
It was very weird.
We had some funny stuff.
We did.
We jumped through some windows.
We did some some cool
dives into the out of
like houseboats into the
water and stuff.
It was fun.
I'm excited to do more.
I like I think they
rotate the map in that
game, right?
Like I actually prefer
the original map more
than that one.
Uh, no, they don't
really rotate as much
as replace.
OK, well, there's a new season i
think coming out really soon right yeah yeah i had to update the game they just put spawn in the game
i think which is such a such a weird property and still have like yeah like i don't know what
spawn content is coming out or why anyone cares about spawn who the fuck remembers spawn like
that's the first superhero movie I ever saw.
Really?
Yeah.
That's such an interesting question.
I think probably the original Spider-Man for me
with Tobey Maguire would have been my first.
Oh, yeah.
What about you, Eric?
What about me?
The first superhero movie I ever saw?
First superhero movie.
Oh, man.
What would it have been?
One of the Batman movies, I guess?
Yeah, that's a good poll.
89?
Nick says Batman.
Yeah, the Batman.
That was probably 89, right?
What was before that?
Batman came out on June 19th, 1989.
So that was probably, I mean, I was probably three when that came out,
so I probably saw it when I was four or five.
I was in a shooting that night what the fuck yeah I saw I saw Batman in high school the
night it came out because my birthday so it was very exciting to me because I was a fucking comic
nerd and Batman of all things came out on my birthday and so I went with my friends to go
see Batman and I believe Boys in the Hood came out at the same time. And while we were in Batman, there was a shooting in the Boys of the Hood movie theater.
And we didn't have any idea.
Came outside after the movie was over
and there were fucking ambulances and cops and stuff.
Yeah.
Jesus.
Had no idea it happened while we were in the theater.
I was watching a,
like it just fed to me on TikTok recently.
I thought this was so funny.
This guy,
he grew up, this part isn't the
funny part he grew up in a cult his dad was like an extremist cult guy and so he just wasn't exposed
to like modern media as a kid growing up and he eventually escaped it from what i gathered from
this clip and he was riding a bike and he saw an arcade through a window and he wanted to like play the
games or interact with the arcade so he went up and they said that he needed a ticket and he he
got a ticket but he didn't really understand what it was for and then he went into the arcade and
then he decided to like pursue what the ticket thing was that he bought and he had never been
in a movie theater he had no concept of what a movie was and he sat in and he's like he was like i was gonna shit myself like everything
was so loud the screen was so big i was overwhelmed it changed my life and the movie he watched was
head of state with chris rock and that's so fucking funny to me that his introduction to cinema
was head of state and that it is like the one of the
most emotional moments of his life is watching this film that is such a throwaway for 99 of
the population did that make it into our states draft i don't think so it should have what do
you think is the worst what do you think is the worst first movie for a person to see?
Of all movies?
Yeah.
I feel like... Human Centipede, right?
That's a bad one.
I was going to say Requiem for a Dream.
Oh, that's a bad one.
That movie bugs me.
It would just be like, why does anyone watch any of these?
Why do they make these?
These suck.
Meet the Spartans.
Yeah, I think that might be.
That is a good.
You would have no idea what anything is.
That would be the most confusing fucking movie for you.
Oh, my God.
That's a great answer.
Just a bunch of clips of people saying shit that doesn't land.
That's a great answer.
Just a bunch of clips of people saying shit that doesn't land.
Hey, Andrew, I'm going to assume you're the only one that watched it,
but did you watch Survivor last night?
No, I haven't been able to.
I try to watch those with my mom,
and so I'm not going to be able to do that until Friday.
Oh, okay.
Well, never mind then.
Is it good?
I'm really excited to watch it. I just haven't seen it yet.
I will say this is the first.
Usually you don't hate people until like episode three.
Oh, no.
There's like three or four people on this season that I fucking can't stand already.
And this is easily.
No, it's good because you're immediately invested, right?
Yes.
Like, I want to see these people get voted out so badly.
I'm more...
Because usually the first two episodes of Survivor
are feel-ad episodes
where you're just kind of getting the hang of the tribes
and the dynamics.
And it's nice to have a villain.
And they're not even villains.
Just have a fucking unlikable person pretty quickly.
I have to say this is easily the wimpiest cast
in the history of Survivor.
I'm so excited to watch it.
They're just like, it's hot.
There's bugs.
I'm uncomfortable.
The ground is scratchy. I don't
want to do this. That's heavy. That looks
hard. I need to sit down. I gotta
take a break. This isn't good for me.
At night, the monkeys come out. At night, the monkeys come out.
Yeah, at night, the monkeys come out. It's fucking wild.
I'm so excited. I've been meaning to tell
you, because you recommended that show,
The Traders, right? I think you told us.
Traders, yeah. I fucking loved it. I've seen every
season from every country. Yeah, I need
to watch it. I'm gonna watch it now. Did you see
that they announced some of the cast
for season two of The U.S. Traders? No.oston rob is gonna be on it with uh sandra and poverty that'll be awesome
yeah i think that'll be a really fun season so i've been trying to start that because i remember
how much you enjoyed it and recommended it i think there was a uh there was a season of australia
survivor that um that had sand on it. It was either
a Survivor Australia All-Stars thing
where Sandra went on it, or some sort of a
cross...
You know how the challenge is the world season
or whatever, which I never saw past
the US version. I don't know how that turned out.
It might have been something like that, but I remember
seeing that she was coming back to Survivor
one more time, but it was
in Australia. I know. I know Russell Hance did that and was coming back to Survivor one more time, but it was in Australia. I know.
I know Russell Hance did that and was immediately voted out first.
Once again,
this is great.
Fuck that guy.
Maybe the most insulting comparable anyone's ever made with me.
You,
Jeff,
calling me Russell Hance.
I still think it stands.
No,
does not stand.
Hey,
let me ask you guys a question.
Okay.
You know how like, at some point,
sometimes throughout the course of your day,
it's appropriate to hum,
or you like sing a little bit for some reason, you know?
I'm going to say yes,
but I don't know if Gavin agrees based off of recent...
You just don't ever catch yourself humming or like,
I just wonder like,
what is your go-to song when you like sing a song in your head or you think music and then you like catch yourself humming a song.
I imagine this can't happen for Gavin because it would require some sort of
an internal dialogue.
No, I do have it.
It just doesn't come out of my mouth,
but it is playing in my head.
Yeah, it doesn't have to come out of your mouth.
It just plays in your head.
Playing in your head is just as good. I'm actually tormented by something, but it is playing in my head. Yeah, it doesn't have to come out of your mouth. It just plays in your head. Playing in your head is just as good.
I'm actually tormented by something,
but we'll get to that.
That's what I want to know.
And I think you're about to tell us.
I want to know, like,
what's the first song that comes to your mind
when you think music or hum to myself
while I'm washing the dishes or whatever?
Do you have a go-to?
Mine is a song called Swoon by the Chemical Brothers.
And I worked on a music video for it.
And over the course of five days, I probably heard that song 800 times.
And since that day, when there's no song playing in my head, it's Swoon by the Chemical Brothers.
And the song is basically like a siren.
It just is an endless loop of
I don't know how to
it's, what was that, maybe
14 years ago at this point? I don't
know how to get it out.
I just listened to some of it. This would be
this would make me, I think,
go insane. Yeah, it's like
seven minutes of
Oh my god. And I don't mind, you know, I didn't I didn't mind the Kevlar brothers before that you you've kind of caused this problem for
me Jeff where you talked about recently maybe us doing a supplemental content of like the songs we
hate the most yeah and it's I don't really feel super strongly about music so it's having to really think about like what are truly the songs i hate and i remembered one and it has now kind of been
stuck in my head since it happened and it has caused me so much pain i won't say what it is
but it has been on loop and when we get to that content i will i will share which one it was
i have a line from it but that on a positive side Cupid's chokehold in my head quite a bit
that just will randomly pop up constant Cupid's chokehold I don't know what that is it's a
gym class hero song from like 2007 oh the super tramp song yeah the super tramp song
take a look at my girlfriend yeah well not that part but yeah that song that's what a what a crazy
to have like I don't even know you call that like a
cover like what would you call that gavin like oh uh it's just a super trap song it's like barely
changed that's so weird what a what a strange pick oh it's a big song at the red itch yeah
would you say it's a sample or would you like what is that like a re i don't know i i guess i guess
i mean it's most it's just the hook from the song and then it's mainly that it's like yeah right like a reimagining
a reinterpretation of it yeah um for me it's most it's mostly still tipping by Mike Jones
that's a good one too but that but that changes a lot a lot. It's sort of whatever is in my...
I'm sure, Jeff, with you,
do you have one song that you go to
or is it like a bunch of different...
I heard this recently.
No, it is for me.
And I'm trying to figure out
how long it's been my song
because I didn't...
Mike Jones.
I listened to...
I watched Dallas every day of my life.
Right.
And I was thinking about how iconic the Dallas theme song is.
And so I was thinking, uh, I was thinking to myself, I should try to make that.
I should just try to start humming that song all the time because I'm always thinking,
but, and every time I start to do it, it morphs into the A-team theme song.
And I realized that whenever I hum or think of music in my head it's always the
a team theme song a hundred percent of the time my entire life and i'm wondering has it been that
way since i was a child or is that recent i think it's been forever and i think i was even talking
about it with you recently eric maybe did we talk about the a team song together recently
it might have been a different eric but yeah i I don't know why, but it's the fucking,
anytime I think of music
in my head,
I go,
dun-dun-dun-dun,
dun-dun-dun,
dun-dun-dun-dun,
dun-dun-dun-dun.
It's a great one.
And that's like,
I guess that's like,
if you looked up music
in the dictionary,
in my dictionary,
it would be
the A-Team theme song.
Did you ever,
what was that,
it was like A-Team theme song
mixed with Beastie Boys. Did you ever hear that? that, it was like a team theme song mixed with Beastie Boys.
Did you ever hear that?
No.
That sounds cool.
Was it like officially by them
or like a remix?
I assume it was
someone else made it.
I think someone sent it
to me on MSN.
Is it like,
is it intergalactic?
Oh, probably.
Good guess, Eric.
Yeah, I think it was.
Good guess.
I mean, I'm just thinking like,
what's the most annoying beastie boy song
that's a song oh that's that might be on my list oh not a big you don't like intergalactic
i love the beastie boys that song i have just heard so many times that if i never ever ever
ever ever ever heard it again that would be just fine.
That's fair. There's definite
songs that get overplayed. That's definitely
one of them. Yeah, I could
see that. I could support that
actually. It is definitely not their
greatest song and it definitely did get
rammed down our throats for quite a while.
Yeah, I looked it up. It is Intergalactic.
That's great. Just, I'm
thinking about like,
the A-Team is such an annoying song.
What's an annoying song that would go with it and it would have to be intergalactic?
I will say, I think combined,
they're both less annoying.
That's interesting.
I think they've made it work
by combining it with the A-Team.
Oh, God.
We should wrap up.
We got to do this Tony Stark thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's, we should, and I got
something to do after this, so I gotta get going.
Nick, how does Madness by Muse go?
Yeah, we're wrapping up.
Thanks, man.
There you go.
You know,
you know how everybody gets obsessed with talking about who the goat of a particular
sport is like the greatest of all time uh wondering like what's the best goat no no
although that's interesting uh i assume it would be fainting goats because they're pretty cute
it'll be billy or fainting it's between it's between nba seasons right now and so there's
always sports commentators always struggling for content so they always go like is it mj or you know bill russell or uh lebron or whatever uh and i was thinking the other day
what is the woat we never talk about who is the worst professional athlete of all time per sport
something to think about as we end this episode maybe i like that yeah i'll come back with an
answer for next like i assume i I assume Andrew has a hockey answer.
Or he will.
I have an MMA answer
actually immediately.
There you go.
And I've never really
thought about it
for basketball players,
but I bet you could
look it up statistically.
There has to be a worst
NBA player of all time.
There has to be a worst
English Premier League
player of all time.
Yeah, there's got to be
a Premier League player
who only ever scored
own goals.
There definitely has to be uh like the sum total of his his or her professional career was a negative to the negative yeah a huge negative uh anyway something to think about
uh while you pine away and wait for next week's recording when we all get to get back together
again and talk about all the things that make life interesting and make us laugh and and then we all talk about how funny we all think
each other are except for gavin who's not particularly impressed with any of us thanks
for listening to another episode of face we'll see you next time like and subscribe hey guys
major league fan jack here with a look at next week's episode of face nice voice let's talk poop
the boys time travel what's the best dog in a movie?
Jeff's ghost returns.
And once again,
Andrew does not eat the pencil.
All that and more
on next week's episode
of F*** Face. We'll see you next time.