F**kface - Becoming a Movie Review Podcast // One Day Closer To Death [190]

Episode Date: January 24, 2024

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger, Worms, Andrew’s old man routine, Turner Classic Movies, Ridiculousness, Citizen Kane, Hello Dolly, scenes in movies we skip, The Iron Claw, Andrew not feeling well, the emotional journey of Up, Geoff’s magnetization to dogshit, Andrew’s first trip to the dentist in 12 years, root canal advice, physics lessons, more of the great standing desk debate, Cosmic Crisp Apples, recipe-less cooking, oddly named fruit, eating a whole loaf of bread, Geoff’s puppy gnawing on the corners of walls, skills we thought we’d use more, the death barometer, forgetting things, which celebrities will last, which body part would be worst to have 2 of, tastebud positioning, calzones, pizza survival, Blue Streak and more. Sponsored by Shopify Go to http://shopify.com/face to sign up for a $1-per month trial period Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I would absolutely love you, Jeff, to for one day fully commit to being Fenster from The Usual Suspects. Just do that all day. You can do it. Maybe. Oh, man, that would be a long hard day yeah if we each had to be if we each had to be a usual suspects guy who's who oh oh that's a good question oh yeah uh hold on it's tough. Can I not be dead? Well, so you want to be Kaiser Soze?

Yeah, he really wants to be... Yeah, dude, I feel... Nick wants to be Spacey? No, hold on. That's not what I said. Hold on. What the fuck, dude? No.

I think... I feel like I'm probably like a Kevin Pollak in that world. Yeah, I could... I get that. I get it. I get it. Hmm. I'm definitely um hmm you know as as much as I don't want to be Stephen Baldwin you're yeah I'm so glad you said it I didn't want to say it for you absolutely so who's Gavin maybe I'm not Kevin Pollard. That's tough. Maybe Kaiser Soze is Gavin is Stewart.

Oh! That's pretty good. Kaiser Stewart. Yeah, that's pretty good. Hey, Gracie. Hi. Who are you in The Usual Suspects? No chance she's seen that movie.

Wait, what? Exactly. You probably haven't seen it. You might not have seen the movie no i have no idea but based on this photo i'm i'm feeling drawn to the guy on the far left oh wow paulette you're interesting something about his outfit just yeah i hear that i hear that yeah what year did this movie come out what year 98 99 somewhere, 99, somewhere on there. No, no, no, no,

no, no. It came out before that, didn't it? 96? 95. 95. Okay.

Yeah. Gracie's the detective. Yeah. It was a movie that I watched when I was too young and did not enjoy it all and then came back around to later and liked it quite a bit. I tried to go back and watch it a few years ago and I couldn't make it 20 minutes in. Yeah. It's a weirdly, it's a weirdly paced and structured movie.

It's not bad. It feels very 90s. Yeah. In a way that is not enjoyable to look at. Oh, yeah. It's a very ugly movie. It is incredibly ugly. to look at. Oh, yeah. It's a very ugly movie. Also, I think... It is incredibly ugly.

I just... I think the movie... I mean, the movie obviously was great for what it was and it definitely had an impression and it landed hard and... Yes, huge.

Yeah. But I think it's only because of the last five minutes of the film. The rest of the film is exceptionally mediocre. It's the twist. It's the same thing

as the fucking... It's the same thing as the fucking, it's the same thing as the Bruce Willis movie where he's dead the whole time. Sixth Sense. Nobody on Earth can watch Sixth Sense twice. Or the others. Or any of those films where the whole movie is the hook.

I feel like the usual suspect has the one other scene where they're like reading the give me all your money, the stick up line or whatever. I feel like that's the only other scene where they're like reading the like give me all your money like the stick up yeah line or whatever i feel like that's the only other scene from that movie that i remember and the rest of it is like i don't know trying to be heat remember heat it's like that it's great like yeah it's kind of like he eats reservoir dogs but not yeah that's a great comparable which is weird because he came out the same year what What? Really? Heat came out in 95.

Heat feels like it's older to me than that. Oh, big time. Heat feels like an 89 to me. God damn. Yeah. What about Red Heat? Oh, with the Schwarzenegger movie and Jim Belushi? With John Schwarzenegger and Jim Belushi? That movie is dog shit. That movie came out in like 88,

89. 88. Dude. Why do you bring that up? Did you just watch it? I watched it a couple of years ago. I was thinking of other heat movies. The Heat? Oh. The Heat's a good movie.

Maybe we should go through a heat movie era. You think so? You really? So what you're proposing is we watch that movie? Well, it's funny you say that because it's already on my list of movies to watch. I have decided recently I'm going to go through and rewatch every Arnold Schwarzenegger film. That's a mistake.

Oh, that's a big mistake. Oh, I think, dude, I think you're going to, I think, oh yeah,

I think you are going to hit, I think you're going to hit it hard and then all, then you're going to realize like, oh, he's in hard and then all then you're gonna realize like oh he's in some bad name an arnold schwarzenegger movie i don't want to watch red heat terminator genesis i want to watch red no you don't oh terminator genesis is a real bad one i saw red heat when i was a kid i all i remember is that they were always drinking vodka and it was cold and jim belushi was funny and now I want to watch it and it'll be like

watching it with seven year old me again or fuck what was I in 88 13 yeah I haven't seen this since I was 13 of course I want to watch it Terminator Genisys I've never seen it's really bad what's the one where there's the clones you got like the eyeball thing

the total recall? Oh, the sixth day? Sixth day? Sixth day, that was it. I liked Sixth Day. Good movie. Is it? Yeah, I liked it.

I need to re-watch that one. When Sean from Mega64 was getting married, we were all his groomsmen, all of like Mega64 and everything, and he was really, really nervous,

and we were about to go walk out, like the music started playing, but we were watching End of Days on a TV in this room. We were getting ready for, and he's like, are you guys ready? And we said,

no, do five more minutes. This end of days is almost done. And he, he laughed so hard and he went, oh, okay. This is not that serious.

We're good. Okay. I don't feel so bad anymore. This is like, he felt really good about it after that. I always remember that. I, uh,

here's what I'm gonna do. I'm going to watch every Arnold remember that. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to watch every Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, and I'm going to report back with what the worst one is. Right here. It's going to take me a year to do, probably, as often as I watch movies, but I'm going to try it. When was the last time you watched something like Running Man, which was in the heat of him?

Oh, so I watched Running man maybe eight nine years ago again and it's it's not good it's really not it's no it doesn't it doesn't hold up it's so cartoony and goofy and you don't remember like i remember it being so much cooler and darker when i was a kid and then you see it and it's just like it's pretty it's pretty silly and so what i'm saying is that um like i think's going to be most of what he has. Yes. I can't wait. I can't, but see, I was a child of that.

And so there's a charm to it. I grew up, you know, my entire childhood was Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone in their prime. And so I have an affinity and an affection for those guys that warms over a lot of bad acting. The idea that you recently revisited the usual suspects and was like ah that didn't hold up but you're gonna go back and watch red heat

and think it's gonna hold is insane i think i watched red heat at first i was 13 years old there's a connection there i watched uh usual suspects when i was 23 or something maybe have we started i don't know hello and welcome to another episode of the face podcast my name is jeff ramsey and with me as always gavin free and andrew pant and this is episode 190 i believe i think i hurt my throat in wormsorms just now. All the yelling. You got Worms throat? Well, I just had probably the worst performance in Worms of my entire life. The one you won or the one you lost?

Oh my God. The one I won. I was thinking about it after we played and I've known you for a very long time. I think I saw a new side of Gavin today. I don't think I've ever seen gav like that much honest self-hatred well i i was pissing myself off like uh it's been i i've definitely made content moves in my video game playing career but that typically involves just like

never breaking in gta or like hitting every bike or like firing a rocket launcher the second i pick it up pressing the wrong button has never been a content move i just can't remember the freaking buttons and it is getting worse as i get older there is some sort of a spell that is put over you when you play worms where it just forces you to misremember two buttons constantly. I'm just happy we all did it. I'll never get it right. I appreciated a move Gavin did. I think that in the future, if you can just keep the team that you use, Gavin,

I'll be good. I'll try to help us out. I appreciate it. Dude, I'll say this. I'm learning over and over again, there is nothing in Worms more dangerous than one single pixel of dirt floating in the air that nobody can see. I thought you would have learned that from SnowRunner. That's my experience. I don't have the problems in SnowRunner that you do.

I think we all do. I don't think it's just me. I think the mud is a tough place. Mud's a tough place, but you got to know how to tackle it. You got to know how to approach place but you got to know how to tackle it you got to know how to approach it you know how to take it on i've been working on it mud wants to take you down you don't let mud take you down you take mud down that's how trucking works it does yes also the mud will flip you over i was playing with someone recently and i flipped over and they they had to stop what they were doing to get me upright again. I was like, oh, thanks.

And then they respawned and they went back to do what they're doing. And I flipped over again 20 seconds later, but I was too embarrassed to admit it. So I just sat on my side for like 40 minutes until they were done their thing and then was like, hey, yeah, you want to come back? You want to flip me again? I've been stuck here because I don't know how to drive this um i have a question andrew andrew you've been playing a little bit more trucks then i have been yeah i am next time we record trucks i will be in a better place oh that's awesome dude that's really cool that's i'm actually really happy to hear that

um jeff you've been playing trucks too, right? Yeah, I play it every night. Oh, you play it every night. Andrew, you've been playing trucks with Jeff? I go to bed too early to play with Jeff. I invited, I found out a new annoying fact about our friend Andrew. I'm trying so fucking hard. I'm trying so hard at two things.

I'm trying so hard to accommodate his schedules to get him into trucks with Burndog and Antonio because they're all going to love each other. And I think Gavin can attest to that. And Eric, for that matter. You know them both. And then secondly, I am trying so fucking

hard not to take it personally that Andrew refuses to play trucks with me outside of work. I gave you three days, I will say. I go to bed early. I will say I go to bed early. You start when I go to bed. If you started early West Coast, what? Hey, hold on a second.

What time guys real fast and Andrew, you did and I'm going to try my best. I'm really looking forward to those three days in the future when we're supposedly going to try together and I hope it happens. What time would you guys say is too late for Andrew to play trucks with me? 10 45. Yeah, 11, probably 11, What time would you guys say is too late for Andrew to play trucks with me? 10.45? Yeah, 11, probably 11. 8 p.m.

What? He told me 8 p.m. his time is too late to play trucks with him. I hop into bed at like 8.15. What do you do for the next four hours? We want to get deep into this old man routine that I'm currently in? Yes. Because you're surely winding down. You're not sleeping anyway.

No, no. I'm winding down at eight, but I'm hopping into bed at around eight, between eight and 815. I'm climbing into bed. And my new thing is, and I'm embarrassed to say this, I've gotten deep into Turner Classic Movies channel. That's nothing embarrassing about that at all. I'm watching 1950s,

1960s movies in bed at 8pm and then falling asleep. I'm an old man. What was the last movie you watched? I don't remember the name. I came in late on a John Wayne film that was a remake, I guess, of the guy's last movie, but

it was reverse. It was like the same cast, but John Wayne played the sheriff in the other one, and this time he played the drunk or something. I'm not really sure. I came in late on it, and I drifted off, but I always called El Dorado, I think. Are you watching them on TV? I'm watching them on TV. I'm opening my TV app, going to the Turner Classic Movie channel, and then just letting it run. Just whatever's happening. I love that you're doing this. By the way, there's nothing

embarrassing about this. For one, old movies are fucking awesome. I pay for Criterion Collection just for this purpose. And two, I love that you're channel surfing, kinda. We've been talking about it a lot outside of work, and it feels almost like you're channel surfing. I realize that I don't necessarily enjoy doing all my own programming i really like getting

programmed too and the idea that i can throw on this thing that i know nothing about is exciting to me but you could watch the whole movie if you pre-decided like an hour earlier yeah but i didn't so i just saw the end of it and I'm perfectly happy with what I saw. And he didn't even know the movie existed until it randomly showed up. Yeah, it's great. And it was a pleasant surprise for him.

It's kind of like how when you come over to my house and we pop in cool vids on YouTube and then we just see what happens. Yeah, it's very, it's really something. Happy New Year. All right.

I mean, I feel like you've just evolved on from what we used to do which was watch ridiculousness all the time so i feel like cool vids is our new chanel west coastless video feed i fucking saw a stat on reddit the other day that apparently ridiculousness is all mtv programs 24 hours a day, right? Mm-hmm. Ridiculousness is 21 hours a day of their programming. It's insane. Yeah, like...

What? What? It is the Ridiculousness channel now. What's the other three hours? Probably, like, the teen pregnancy show, Teen Mom, or... The teen pregnancy show. Or like Wildin' Out with Nick Cannon or whatever other shows.

The Challenge, maybe. Whatever their three hours of primetime is, probably. And then every other minute of that channel is ridiculousness. Yeah, but those three hours of primetime is right when Andrew is settling in to go to bed. So he's got to make a tough decision on what he wants to watch. That's true. Andrew, tonight at 6 p.m., Citizen Kane. Oh, have you ever seen it?

I haven't. Hey, 9.15, Network. I've never seen Network, but I've heard, I've seen it referenced my entire life. I want to know what it's all about. It's really good. And then also, it definitely made in the 70s so it's a weirdly again a weirdly paced movie but very good is that that's the i'm mad as hell and i'm not gonna take it anymore movie right

yup yeah uh maybe we should start a new you remember last year when i was i had that little run where i did movie reviews yeah maybe 2024 could see a return, but it's Andrew reviewing TCM movies that he can't. I love it. I love it. And you'll review your Schwarzenegger movies. Yeah. OK, well, here. Hey, Jeff, can you give us a review of Hello Dolly or whatever?

Oh, dude. Do you want to talk about Hello Dolly? No, I just wanted you to do your review. I didn't want to like talk about Hello, Dolly? No, I just wanted you to do your review. I didn't want to talk about it. Fuck, man. I didn't really plan on making a review of the movie, but I will say I just saw it, and what an impression that film left on me.

You ever heard of Barbra Streisand? Delightful. Absolutely. I get it. Walter Matthau? I'd want to marry him, too. What an adorable little old curmudgeon he was that was a fucking great movie and michael crawford was the holy shit dude dude condor man michael condor man michael crawford is like he plays cornelius i think his name is

and uh he's basically dick van dyke the entire film just tripping over stuff and he's like he's basically Dick Van Dyke, the entire film, just tripping over stuff. And he's like a cartoon. He's Jim Carrey before Jim Carrey. He's just like all goof. Is he English in it or American? He's American in it. Oh, okay. And he sings the entire, I mean, it's a musical, right? So he sings the entire movie.

In all seriousness, though, fucking awesome, awesome film. Really, really good. Do you remember the name of the sitcom he was in in the 70s? Yeah, Some Mothers Gotta Avem. That's very close. What was it? Some Mothers Do Avem. really good and the name of the sitcom he was in in the 70s yeah some mothers gotta have them that's very close what was that some mothers do have them oh some mothers do have them what now that i expect you to remember now that i've seen him in condor man and hello dolly and jim a couple of bits uh of clips that you showed me in that. What an interesting career that dude had. Do you think that this is the number one

Michael Crawford appreciation podcast? I hope so. Well, I feel like he's come up naturally so many times. Like, I think he came up through Condor Man and Phantom of the Opera separately. Oh, right. He was in Phantom as well. He was the Phantom.

I think we're... I think... Oh, what... Like, you know how the Taylor I think we're, I think, oh, what, like, you know how the Taylor Swift are called Swifties? Maybe we're Crawford stans. What are we? Little Crawlies? Creepy Crawlies? Are we Crawdaddies?

Oh, Crawdads is exactly, the words out of my mouth, Jeff. Absolutely. I think we're Crawdads. Okay. If you look him up, it's movies and shows is some mothers do have them. Hello, Dolly.

Condor Man. Condor Man is listed third? Third? Wow. It's almost like a perfect career. That's awesome. That's so cool. All right.

I got to get on the Arnold Schwarzenegger thing. Seriously, though, everybody should watch Hello, Dolly. There's a 10 minute dance scene called The Waiter's Gallop. That's so fucking cool. Did you have a movie as a kid? Well, it doesn't necessarily have to be as a kid. A movie that you liked, but there was always a part that you would fast forward? Yeah.

Turner and Hooch when the dog dies. Oh, so you're trying to avoid the sadness. Yeah. My, I would watch it at my grandma's house. My grandma would tell me, tell me when, when I was little and the movie would be on, I would take her hand and make her go into the kitchen because I would just go, this is the sad part. Oh, do you think you can handle it now?

Uh, yeah, but I don't think I would cry. I think I would genuinely cry. Can we film you watch it? No! Why would we want to see me cry? What? Maybe we should get personal. What?

This is awful. Why would you want to see? You want to watch me commit it to film? Yes. Watch me cry? I've just never seen you have an emotion that wasn't anger, so I'm just wondering what the range is.

I have, I have most of, if not all the emotions. He's got, he's got anger and thinking about anger. Yeah. Anger and preheating

the oven for anger. I used to always, I used to watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory all the time. But there's this part where Charlie's mom just starts singing on her own. And it's so dog shit.

I would always skip that part. I would skip scenes in Terminator and Aliens and Poltergeist because they were too scary. So I would fast forward through stuff. That makes sense gracie said that it's an episode of spongebob squarepants when the animated butterfly turns real and buzzed really aggressively wow and then sent us a picture of this fucking thing episode wormy for anyone interested oh man gross yeah so I guess this is

a movie review podcast now huh I guess 21 minutes in all we've talked what'd you say you gonna go see beekeeper yeah I'm gonna go see beekeeper oh that's exciting are you do you think it's gonna be good no I'm gonna I'm gonna go Iron Claw tonight with Millie.

Are you really? Yeah. What a cool kid, by the way. I was like, hey, let's go have a daddy-daughter date. Let's go out and go to a movie. You pick whatever you want to see. And I figured she'd want to see. I don't know.

The last thing I thought she'd want to see is Iron Claw. But she likes The Bear. So she wanted to see the kid from The Bear. And shameless in it so uh i'll i'll let you know he's not in it a lot but he is uh he's definitely in it and uh oh boy what a story okay it could be a fun story to watch with my 18 year old daughter yeah yeah yeah let me know let me know how you guys feel coming out of it shoot me a text when you're done seeing oh god millie and i have true yes is there a lot of sex stuff because we know okay good nope okay who gets more uncomfortable who who get millie or i yeah oh it's immediate

i think millie and i are very similar in a lot of ways and i think we're very similar on the embarrassment scale i think it's 50-50. We never, we couldn't finish the last season of The Boys because we knew there was a scene coming up and we just didn't, we didn't want to get to the scene to even have to stop. That's amazing. Yeah, it's not it's not like a sex thing.

It's definitely just like the saddest story. It's just sad. Yeah. Oh man, Millie is a crier at movies too. Oh, then it's gonna just like the saddest story it's just sad oh man Millie is a crier at movies too oh then it's gonna be brutal so am I though Andrew you alright? I'm good you were muted for a long time there

yeah I wasn't feeling too good so I had to step away for a minute but I'm good did you hurl? yeah I did but I'm good why didn't you stop on mic? why didn't we just stop? why? to step away for a minute, but I'm good. Did you, huh? Yeah, I did. But I'm good. What? Why didn't you throw up on Mike? Why didn't we just stop? Why? Just say stop and I'll throw up.

If you're gonna throw up, bring the microphone with you. Don't bring the microphone. No, no, no, no, no. I'm on antibiotics right now and it's, I think, messing with my system a little bit. Well, not anymore. They're in the toilet. But I'm good

Was last time where we talk about crime movies emotional wait wait wait wait wait did you lost here? Wait, did you I don't know you recording were you recording the whole time? No, I muted my mic, but I kept it rolling No, no, but yeah, you're so you're so you're recorded track has you puking in it. No, it's just it's everything's muted Thank God. I'm disappointed. Yeah, I'm sorry. Sorry you're sick, but you know. I was trying my best just holding it out for as long as I could.

I didn't want to make a scene, so I just put in the chat. I have to step away for a moment. Oh, did you write it? I didn't even see that. I did. Oh, wow. Oh, he did. You've been going seven minutes. Yeah, it wasn't a fun time, but I'm it? I didn't even see that. I did. Oh, wow. Oh, he did. You've been gone seven minutes.

Yeah, it wasn't a fun time, but I'm back. I'm good. We're talking about crime movies? Well, I was asking if there was a movie that you enjoyed when you were younger that you had a part that you always skipped. Oh. That's a really interesting question. Willy Wonka when the mum starts singing about Charlie. Boring. Boring? Yeah. Huh. question willie wonka when that when the the mom starts singing about charlie boring boring yeah

huh i don't know if i've ever skipped a scene like have you ever cried in a movie like so bad that you had to like try to gather yourself because you're embarrassed by the amount you're crying up up i cried the first five minutes of up i had to to. Oh, it's yeah. I was a crusher. I was like, people were looking at me when she fell down, which she fucking took a knee. Oh, my God, dude. Oh, my fucking God. It's brutal. God. Yeah.

I just sat outside the theater and cried for a little. It was kind of like that. And it was kind of like when we went to Amsterdam, Gavin. God, I think I saw up three times in theaters and i cried every time in the beginning it never it didn't get easier i would cry right now if i thought about it too hard it's so funny to me that like on tiktok people use the music from that sequence in like a pleasant way and it ruins whatever that video is for me yeah Yeah. I associate it as sadness, no matter what the... Even though it's uplifting music,

it is associated with something incredibly difficult. Hey, can I tell you guys a really brief uplifting story? And then, Andrew, I want to talk dentistry after that. Okay, yeah, no, we got to. So you guys know I have a puppy dog now, right?

Little bulldog? Yeah, already, Adrian. Do you remember... Neither of those. Do you guys know I have a puppy dog now, right? Little bulldog? Yeah, Adrian. Do you remember... Neither of those. Do you remember when I had the other dogs and my life was just a constant parade of dog shit everywhere at all times? Yeah.

Man, I must be magnetized to dog shit. The other day, I didn't even get a chance to tell you guys, but I think I told Andrew, but I didn't tell you guys because we got distracted. But when we sat down to record the last episode

of F*** Face, when I sat down to do my mic checks and stuff, I just sat down in my chair Indian style and I started working, checking, setting up the mic and everything

and I looked, I smelled something a little weird. I looked down, there was just dog shit all up and down my leg on the inside of my pants. I don't know where it came from or how it got there.

That's why I had to run and change pants real fast. Last night before last, I took I took Henry out. Not Henry. Sorry. I took the other dog, the new dog out. Henry's dead. I took the new puppy out to go to go potty. And he went out and it was dark.

Right. Like it was so late. And I have like like lights out in my backyard. But after midnight or whatever, they turn off. And so it was dark. And I have like like lights out in my backyard but after midnight or whatever they turn off and so it was dark and I just set him on the ground and he went out and I saw him squat and pee and poop or whatever and then he came back to me and I picked him up and I was walking through the house

and the house was all dark because we were going to bed but Emily was working on the computer doing some clutch my pearls stuff and I walked over to her and I was holding I was cradling the puppy and holding him and she's like oh give me the baby and so I gave him to her and then she cradled him and I walked into the bedroom and I started to get undressed and I looked I turned the light on and I looked down and there was just dog diarrhea all on my shirt and I was like horrified I had just seen it and

right as I heard I saw it I heard Emily screaming from the other end of the house and she just came running and I guess I had handed her a dog covered in poopy diarrhea and we had both just like cuddled him and caressed the doo doo into our clothes and she it was

pretty gross has he got a bit of a yucky tummy at the moment he's fine he's fine I think that he had a little bit of a yucky tummy that day, but he's fine. Who's fine? The puppy. Damn it. Are you sure when you sat cross-legged and there was shit on your leg, it's from the dog? Yeah, it was dog doo-doo.

I'm quite familiar with it. I'm pretty sure. You're sure? 100%. I'm just checking. I'm just checking I'm just asking anyway that's my covered myself in dog shit story

for this week I'm sure there'll be another one next week countless content of you and shit in the near future we got potentially 500 weeks worth of potential shit stories it's true you got about 11 more years of it before

he kicks the bucket. Speaking of ongoing stories that Jeff has, I went to the dentist. I haven't been to the dentist in a while. Probably like 12 years was the last time I went to the dentist. It's been a long time. My old dentist retired.

I don't have, well like as a contractor i don't have insurance my old one retired there's anxiety about it and just as i said before this is the year of self-care for me sort of my general goal so i went um also because go ahead you follow your old dentist to the old folks home and it's the same old folks home where you get your haircut there is not a dentistry office in that old folks home or otherwise i would have so i had to find an entirely new dentist which is a process within itself but i found one i've been dealing with some tooth issues for a while now and i finally got everything checked out did the the x-rays and all that went great was a really good experience it was an awesome time time. I just got to hang out and watch Spongebob.

It was great. There's a kid, I guess, before me. No worms. Zero worms. But I do have to get two root canals done. And after all of Jeff's stories, it's an intimidating process. I mean, that also didn't help in me avoiding going. It's an intimidating process.

I mean, that also didn't help in me avoiding going, having to hear the horrors of Jeff for like a year straight of all these different things. Well, can I ease your pain just a little bit? Just to give you a ray of hope. I didn't tell anybody this, but I went to the dentist last week for my teeth cleaning and checkup. And my teeth are great.

And there were no issues. And I was in and out in 30 minutes and i didn't they did nothing excellent so you might have a future like that uh very soon andrew yeah it's not just the root canals too though you have to get some fillings as well yep fillings root canals all that fun stuff so like yeah three years from now based on your timeline i'll be all good but what really cracked me up is so they do the x-rays and they they go through the process and they're like this tooth needs this blah blah blah and then they explain it to you at the end and they explained everything it's like oh you're gonna need two root canals and at the very end

they looked at me and they said i don't know if you know what a root canal is and then they went into explaining it and internally it was so hard not to laugh being like i have listened to three years of content about the horrors of root canal if there's anyone who is informed on root canals without having one it is me so i am locked in and excited to go through this process and we can share notes jeff of what our experiences are like can i give you three pieces of really good, really salient advice right now? No. Anyway, Gavin, proceed with whatever. I'll tell you the advice. I want to hear the advice. I'm kidding, obviously.

Please do. I think I've said this on the podcast before, but when they numb your mouth up, get extra shots. Tell them you can still feel it, even if they don't. It'll pay dividends later. It'll also keep your mouth number longer so that when it starts to eventually wake up at home, you got just a little bit more of a reprieve.

And I would be very, very... Get Novocaine or get Nitrous if they offer it. You definitely want it. It'll make your life a lot easier. It'll make it a lot easier not to focus on the pain. And then the other one is just be aware this is just a little bit of advice just be aware about half of the root canals i had ended in me having to see a root canal doctor called an endodontist a lot of dentists do root canals but if it gets if it goes squirrely in any way whatsoever they're going to sit they're going to patch you up and send you to an endodontist so just be prepared that that's a potentiality that you might have to deal with.

Nick's dad was an endodontist. It's basically a dentist who does root canals all day long. Oh, wow. Like specifically root canals all day long. And so they have special tools. They have stronger tools. They have more access

to handle more difficult issues. And so just be aware that may don't be freaked out if they get halfway through after you know three hours in your mouth and then go okay i'm gonna plug this up and then i'm gonna have to send you to see a specialist that's okay great that is why wouldn't you go to an endodontist first you could oh i assume it's more expensive to go to a specialist i I feel like whenever you see a specialist, it'll increase the cost. It's possible.

Yeah, it's possible. When I was dealing with all those issues, I was always in so much pain. I was just like, I'll pay anything. I don't care. Oh, yeah. I won't even look at the receipt. Just take my money and make it go away.

And I will say, as someone who doesn't have insurance, it was a lot cheaper than I anticipated, which was nice. That's great. Well, Canada has some form of national healthcare system, right? Not for dentistry. They just enacted a plan for dentistry this year, and it's still super limited.

So going forward, you'll have access to basic cleanings and checkups and all that stuff will be covered under the plan but previously to this no that's great just like general medical do we have a a physicist update have you got hold of anyone no shockingly nobody's replied bill nye did not respond to the tweet which is a disappointment but you know i don't even maybe uh uh go ahead the comments the comments on this standing desk problem are blowing my mind yeah you seem annoyed by some of them I don't understand how hard it is for people to understand the concept someone wrote I won't name them and shame them if you line up 10 cars bumper to bumper and they all travel at one mile an hour

and Gavin is strapped to the front of the lead car, Gavin would travel at one mile an hour. Yeah, that's true. That's also nothing like what the experiment is. That's completely different. Also true. If I was juggling three balls, all balls would be juggling three balls.

That's the same. It's a completely different experiment. Okay, but what if you were strapped to the front of the car while juggling the three balls it'll be harder to juggle but once again a completely different scenario so you haven't been swayed into this is uh you're wrong by any of the comments you've seen so far i'll be honest i thought it would be an overwhelming amount of people agreeing with me, which I feel like there are. There's a ton.

Yeah, for sure. I'm now wondering how I even explained it because some people are so confused. You explained it pretty clearly. As a matter of fact, somebody on the face subreddit made an animated gif of it in action

and it makes perfect sense. And you could just go look at that animated gif to understand what action and it makes perfect sense and you could just go look at that animated gif to understand what's happening you know what i'm talking about did you see that i haven't seen that no i also saw a comment that was said that i should have said all the desks were motorized raising with their motors instead of magically moving at one mile an hour. Sorry for not specifying that no magic was involved. Yeah, I mean... Sorry, I'm getting really rough. Yeah, I mean, it is what it is. That animation is absolutely it.

That's exactly what I'm picturing. Yeah. You say no magic is involved. If I walked into a room where there were 10 desks stacked on top of each other and a hot dog on top i'm thinking something magical happened i'm thinking i'm putting that in the magical department i'm probably leaving the building gracie where do you where do you stand on this now gavin i can't i can't keep talking about this that what have you read about it i I mean, I will say something defended me

in the fact that the motors aren't going to work. That was irrelevant of the scenario. Because if we're actually going to put this to the test, that's going to happen. Alright, if we put it to the test, we'll stick the first desk on its side against a wall, and we'll have them all go out sideways. What Gavin is saying

is he's going to magic the desk so they work the way that he wants them to. No, just put a stronger motor on. Yeah, I mean... Jesus, I didn't mean to shut the podcast down with one fucking suggestion. I mean, nobody has... I mean, nothing. I mean, they make stronger motors.

We also don't know how strong the motor on a standing desk is. It might be plenty strong. I don't think it's that strong. But it was more about the theory of the problem. I mean, yes, a bog-standing desk motor might not be able to support nine other desks. But in theory... You know those, like, nerf

launchers where you, like, pump the rocket and then you hit the thing and then it launches up? Is there a standing desk equivalent to that? Can we pump the power up and then just launch them? Because I didn't even know standing desks had a motor. How do you think they stand? I just assumed that they would lock into place, like it was bracketed.

What, you'd lift them? So you've got your computer and all your printer and all your heavy shit on it, and then you just lift it up and somebody just locks up and somebody like when you say it like that. Yeah, it makes sense that it's motorized. They just have never had one and haven't really thought about standing desks. Yeah, no, I mean, yeah, it would need a motor. It's a good point.

Or a pump. Gracie said, I need this conversation to end indefinitely. It's never, ever. Welcome. Hey, welcome to podcasts. This is your grand. You're never getting for the podcasts this is your grand you're never getting for the rest of your life you're never getting away with this one that's the worst news

plus you need to be focused on your croutons more than anything oh the crouton off I'm excited about this we're gonna have to push it till next week right because we're not doing the apples tomorrow yeah so we're gonna have to we'll find a day after this we'll figure it out but we'll find it until next week, right? Because we're not doing the apples tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're going to have to, we'll find a day, after this we'll figure it out,

but we'll find a day next week where we can get croutons and then we have, I have a box of, at this point, 28 apples from Cosmic Crisps sitting in my house. Hell yeah, hell yeah. Yeah, I think the idea Eric presented is we all come over to my house and we each make our own apple pie using the Cosmic Crisps. But, don't get too excited. Hold on, Nick.

But, nobody can use a recipe. You just have to figure it out. We'll just figure it out. Oh, I wouldn't know what to do. Yeah, exactly. I also think we should make applesauce because I don't know how to make applesauce, but it seems like it would be easy, I think. You just have to smush apples. We just need an apple smusher.

Oh, no, you can fuck. I followed a recipe. I've made applesauce once in my life, and I followed a recipe, and I misread teaspoon for tablespoon, and I put a tablespoon of cinnamon in instead of a teaspoon of cinnamon, and it turned bright orange, and I ate it for quite a while going, well, this wasn't very good. And then I explained what I had done.

And don't use a teaspoon. Cinnamon, very overpowering. Is a tablespoon two teaspoons? I'm not a spoon guy. I don't know. Oh. I had to consult someone else. Why did it turn orange?

It's just whatever the brownish, like, you know, the color of cinnamon, that shade. There was so much cinnamon in it compared to anything else that it shifted the tone, the shade. That'll be fun. We could create regulation applesauce. That'd be great.

Three teaspoons, okay. I'm a big fan of applesauce. We have plenty of Cosmic Crisps to do it as they have sponsored us and then went, here's a bunch of apples. It's so great. Thank God.

Eric was funny too because he was like, we were talking about this earlier today and he was like, yeah, I was kind of freaking out because I thought, I thought, oh shit,

we have to cancel tomorrow because Gavin can't make it. And he's like, oh, what am I gonna do with these apples? Then I realized, oh right, they keep for a year. We got all the time in the world.

Yeah, these apples are gonna be just fine. They're not going anywhere. I love them so much. I finally got the ad copy for Cosmic Crisp and it's just it's filled with face references. Naturally, really? Yeah, it's if I can pull it up. Is that Ken's doing or did they come up with that? I bet.

I don't know. Oh, I think it's I think it's them. Did you see their tweet from the other day? I did where they tweeted a picture of their apple and called it a regulation apple that's great they're they rule every other apple or not apple i haven't done any other apple reads but every other product read is always like go to our store buy this like we have a sale on which is totally understandable like i'm not critiquing that but theirs is just go to our website and look at our recipes essentially it's great they don't necessarily have a great reason to

sponsor their show but they support us and they're just supporting us and which is fantastic i and uh i gotta say out of all this all the dumb silly funny successes we've had in this podcast like like one of my favorite things was the variety omission, but I think seeing the tweet where they called their Apple a regulation Apple might have been like the proudest moment I've had

in F*** Face so far. Like a real company called their real product our fake thing. I just thought that was really cool. That's how you know you've made it in life, when you get the name in Apple. When it comes to comedy,

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at shopify.com slash face, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash face now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in let me reread that for you that shopify.com slash face to grow your business no matter what stage you're in that shopify.com slash face oh man that's a big responsibility naming an apple. Do you have to create your own apple from scratch? Could you imagine? I couldn't. No, I didn't.

We can't even name a podcast, never mind an apple. I would think if you were going to start naming fruit, you'd want to start with a lesser fruit, like a more niche fruit, and then work your way up. What's the least fruit, then? What's the bottom? Bottom of fruit?

Yeah, what's the bottom of fruit? Maybe like a honeydew melon or something? Yeah, honeydew melons, it's pretty low. I mean, it's good still, don't get me wrong, I'm not shitting on a honeydew melon, I'd eat it. You know? It's just filler. It's good in a

fruit salad. It's fruit salad filler. Yeah, I fruit salad filler yeah yeah i think you could but i think you could get away with renaming honeydew yeah like how would you what would you rename honeydew to uh see this is why we have to start at the bottom because if i mean just not to be able to pop off not good honey my honeydew is also a pretty good name. It's a better name than the... It's a way better... Honeydew sounds delicious. Like, how do you improve upon that? Right, but it's not.

I don't know that you can. Like, it's a trick. No, it's not. Yeah, it is a trick. It's a great name. I think we have a word... Like, what about... What's...

Here's one. Here's one. Grapefruit. Thank you. Grapefruit. It's not a grapefruit? Grapefruit's a grapefruit. Doesn't look a grapefruit? Grapefruit's a grapefruit. Doesn't look anything like a grape. It's a fucking stupid name.

Rename a grapefruit. I'm sorry. Mega Orange. I thought you were renaming Honeydew to Grapefruit. I'm sorry. Oh no, I was thinking of New Fruit. Because you can't improve on Honeydew. There's no way to improve on Honeydew. It's already a better name than the fruit. We have to find a fruit that's got a

name that's worse than the fruit, and that's definitely grapefruit. Hmm. So grapefruit, it's pink on the inside. Mmm. It's big. It's sour. It's a drink.

It's a very drinkable fruit. Gracie, what did you write? Is that what you want to rename it to? I'm looking at a list of weird fruits. Oh. What is a rambutan? What the? Rambutan? Rambutan.

What is it? What type of fruit is that? Guys, we need to keep things straight. I thought that she wanted to rename grapefruit to rambutan. I thought, what was going on? I would rename a radish red heat. I love that. That's great, dude.

That's great. Can we make that? Is Jim Belushi going to sponsor it? I think the most disturbing looking fruit on Gracie's list is an ackee yeah I'm looking at two triple eyeballs what is going on there they look like poimels oh they do look like poimels you know now that you

mentioned it Gavin they are a little arousing imagine six of them on a muscular back. Ooh, we getting another smut novel? We still have to finish the first one. That's my thought. Oh yeah, when are we rounding off our smut? I'm sorry. I've been so distracted by this goddamn dog

and trying to get into a routine with the dog that it's really fucked up my ability to get some of that stuff done. I'll get in touch with you soon, Gavin. Okay, because I'm ready. I'm ready to finish off. I'm ready to add those new characters. I gotta say,

most of these names are pretty good. I want to add the new characters too. I'm very excited about that. Passion Fruit is a good name. Dragon Fruit's a good name. Dude, Breadfruit is a dog shit name. Is there a wet fruit?

Maybe that's what we should rename Breadfruit to. Oh, God. Acai. That's fun to say. Acai is a lot of fun to say. It's a great name. Is that how you say it? That's one of those words that I just look at but never say out loud.

Yeah. Pomelo. Pomelo's a good name. That's a better name for a grapefruit than grapefruit. It's essentially the same thing. But here we are talking about fruit again. You can't go wrong with fruit. I had an idea for a food challenge.

I know I'm in the middle of one with Gracie right now over the croutons. But I had an idea for a food challenge that I don't think anybody could complete. And I would be interested to see how close we could get. How do you guys feel about bread? I love bread. Oh, dear. You think you feel like you could eat a lot of bread right like no no no i don't feel like i could eat a lot of it

but i like it i do like i get one of those like baguettes or something i could be like i'm gonna eat the whole thing uh like it's disappearing in a like in a fucking pencil sharpener just like cram it in uh but uh you know what no one could eat all of? I've decided. I was thinking about it at the grocery store the other day. A loaf of white bread. A full loaf? Just like a full ass loaf of Iron Kids white bread or like sunbeam white bread. In one go? Just peel it off and just eat it like just a fucking slice of bread at a time.

How far could you get? I don't see why I couldn't do that. You would be so, first off, bored. And secondly, you would get three pieces in and you'd be like, I'm out. So you can't put butter on it or anything? No, you're just eating plain bread.

Crusts? You gotta eat the crust. And you're not, and you can't toast it. It's gotta be as it comes out of the bag. I feel like toast is kind of as it... There's nothing added. There's no toast. Okay.

Everybody wants to eat a loaf of toasted bread. Nobody wants to eat a loaf of regular bread. That's the point. I'm thinking maybe I can take the bread and smush it down back to sort of a doughy texture and get more in. That is certainly a tactic you could try.

I feel like you'd walk a dangerous line of making yourself puke in the process of doing it. Yeah, like you think smashing it like into the shape of an apple and then eating it like an apple would help? Oh, hell yeah. Dude, apple bread? Sign me up for apple bread. That's breadfruit!

Maybe that's what we do in 2024. We just make... We take bread and shape it into other fruits. We must be able to get a mold of an apple and cram an entire loaf into it and then just use hydraulics to smush it into an apple. Yeah, I think we could do that. I'm pretty sure we could do that. So outside of shit being everywhere Jeff, how is the new dog? What's the experience

like so far? Uh he's already started chewing on my wall, not excited about that. Gonna have to get some molding replaced how does he get a good purchase on a wall like on the corner no you know how like in my well maybe you don't but in my hallway going from the kitchen to the bedroom there's like i don't know shit on the wall like uh wainscotting almost on the wall it's like a pattern he just like gnawed on a fucking hunk of that i was thinking maybe you could, like, wood putty it, but it's not. It's just fucking wrecked.

It's absolutely wrecked. Other than that, he's good. He sleeps through the night. He, uh... If I stay on top of him, he doesn't really have any accidents in the house. He took a dump in the house yesterday, but that's because I think I left him in his pen

for just a little bit too long. Other than that, as long as I maintain eye contact or eyesight on him at all times so I can stop him from destroying my house, we're good. It's a lot of work having a puppy.

Do you think you made the most of the in-between period where you had no dog? Yeah. Emily and I have had the conversation and let me preface this by saying we're very happy with the dog. The dog is adorable. It's very sweet. It's a very good dog. He's gonna be a great dog. He's happy with the dog. The dog is adorable. It's very sweet. It's a very good dog. He's going to be a great dog. He's already a good dog. Which dog?

The new dog. But we both had the conversation that, you know, because Henry died and Arrow died right at two years ago now. Henry died two Octobers ago. And we were like, yeah, we could have waited another six months. We could have probably waited another six, nine months before we did this. But then we wouldn't have this dog, right? Then we wouldn't have this wall-chewing little monster.

That's fair. It'd be some other wall-chewing monster. Is it... I'm trying to think of how to ask this without making it feel like I'm judging your time. Go for it. You were asked if you feel like you made the most of your time without dog or in between dog

of having a dog and not having a dog and everything. What did you do that like you couldn't do with a dog where you felt like that was the maximum use? Like that was the best use of my time. I traveled with a lot easier. I traveled without having to make arrangements to get the dog boarded and then have to leave three hours earlier

to go to the airport so I could swing up to North Austin to drop him off at the boarding place and then worry about him being in, worry about the dog for four days while we're in new york or whatever and then having to race home and try to get home before the boarding house closes or pay another day a boarding fee you know all that stuff you don't have to worry about anymore uh you never find yourself out and about and be like oh shit i gotta get home and

let the dog out to pee or he's gonna be fucking he's gonna be going crazy or or oh it's about seven we could we could stay out later but we really do need to feed the dog all that stuff you know although just the responsibility stuff of it i just i enjoyed not having those moments i also enjoyed not taking a dog to the vet twice a week for a year which is what i was doing that was happening a lot yeah especially for the last year they were both alive it was just like i was at the vet every i was at the vet and the dentist every week gavin you have to do that with cats or what or you just kind of like leave them at home leave them yeah right okay it's it's also they can live they can live ages it's also because i had elderly dogs

that you know henry henry, Henry had a tumor wrapped around his spleen and one around his heart for the last year and a half he was alive. And so we were managing that. And, you know, Arrow had all manner of problems. And so that's why they had to go to the vet so much. But just not having to worry, you know, not having to worry about being home at a certain time or I don't know. It's just less responsibility was nice.

I definitely enjoyed it. Does baby David have a favorite toy yet? That's not that's not his name. Yeah, he really likes any shoe that you're wearing. So like if I'm wearing, like right now I'm wearing a pair of Nikes. That's his favorite toy. If I take those off and put on a pair of Vans,

that would become his favorite toy. My shoelaces. And yeah, that's pretty much all he gives a shit about. That and the wall. Okay. Do you have a skill that you put a lot of time into when you were younger that you thought would be more useful

and become a bigger part of your life, but just never did? Do you? I feel like I got really good and I put the time and effort into that thing where you put your hands together and you boost people up and help them like climb over a fence and stuff.

You got really good at that? Yeah, I was just solid at it. I just thought, you know, this is a skill it's worth being good at. And then it just went away. Like, I don't even remember the last time I did it. It was just gone from my life and I'm a little bit disappointed.

Should we try it soon? To see if I still got it? Yeah, just, what was your, did you have a method? Uh, just, you know, you just sort of bounce with the person as they're running up. You just sort of, like a flowing motion. Yeah. It's about momentum, I think.

And grip. And that was your, and that's your skill? Yeah, it's just a skill that, you know, I invested time, I put the skill points in. It was like an early skill tree that has been a waste of points. I think I put all my early skill tree points into jumping ramps on BMXs. That's pretty much all I cared about when I was a kid. But you probably got good use out of those points. I mean, I don't jump shit now.

I've retired since that one, since my badass slow-mo video we did a couple years ago, which is available on the F*** Face YouTube and Rooster Teeth site. You don't think you'll do stunt two? I haven't really, I haven't really,

I gotta be honest with you. Even since then, I think I've slowed down a little bit. Yeah, I don't really even ride my bike in that way anymore. I'm pretty just like, you know, go forward,

stay on the ground. I'm not as adventurous as I used to be. I'm getting closer to death. Jesus Christ! That's what it is, right? You're just slowly dying day by day by day until you just diminish a little bit at a time until you look up and you

realize you've diminished to such a degree that the thing you did six months ago, you don't do anymore because you're not as much of a human now as you were then. So I'm just like, I'm four years past jumping shit in a ditch. So every day, every day you're dying. Well, I guess everyone is dying every day. You definitely are. Yeah. Do you think you've had a single day where you weren't dying?

In my life? Yeah. Like a day that just extended your life a little bit. Certainly. Right? I mean, I couldn't tell you what that day would be. Certainly. I couldn't tell you what that day would be certainly so i couldn't tell you i couldn't tell you what that day would be but there must have been one

how about you do you think you've had a life extending day i'm trying to wonder if there was a day where i just all i did was exercise and eat well but i don't know if that's ever happened when you said life extending day i I thought it was something more like mental or like spiritual. I didn't consider just working out and eating well for one day. Yeah, I didn't think about it. What were you thinking then? Just, you know, like the birth of a child or like something that was like fulfilling in a way where it made you understand like, oh, there's more than just like a daily grind kind of a thing where you're just like wow i feel like it's like an extended part of this universe that's what i thought you meant uh and not like oh i i ran good on the treadmill birth of a child extends

your joy and happiness and heart and all of those things does not extend your life at all i feel like you immediately spend a lot of time very tired after that exhausted stressed out and uh and then you just watch this thing grow and become more complicated and wonderful and and and just recognize that as it's growing up you're growing down it just becomes a marker to see how much you're dying as it's living. It's like a death barometer. Yeah, Millie in some ways is like my death barometer. The older she gets, the closer to death I know I am.

Oh my god. I remember I had a friend who had kids and then his grandparents met the baby and his grandparents went, well, I, uh, his grandparents went, well, I guess we're great grandparents now.

They don't really make great, great grandparents. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know,

like if you, if you were to take some stock right now and you were to look back and think 20 years ago and you'd be like, wow was a long time ago but it seems like yesterday like i'm 48 i can remember being 28 28 but does not feel that long ago pretty soon you're gonna have that thought but you'll be like 85 and you're close to death and this will seem like yesterday to you. Isn't that weird? Enjoy this moment right now because pretty soon you're going to be remembering this moment

and how you didn't appreciate it enough and you're going to be like, life sucks, I'm old and everything's broken and it hurts and my dick fell off and my heart isn't paying... And that'll be the best you can enjoy. It is weird thinking back to world war ii and

stuff and how in the grand scheme of everything it was pretty recent but also to think that it was not like 75 years ago or something but when i was born it was only like four decades ago it is it is weird too because i i listened to this podcast recently a couple months ago now, about this guy who's talking about near past versus far past. And he was saying that at the 50 year mark, about the 50 year mark for a society, everything that happened more than 50 years ago, we completely

and totally lose touch with and frame of reference for. Like, we're good. We can understand things up to about 50 years ago. But once we hit that 50 year mark, our understanding and compassion and care just falls off a cliff and so our collective history is really only about 50 years and so every you know once you're like 55 gavin you're just going to be shitting out a year's worth of memories every year you're alive as the rest of the world does too yeah it is weird watching the world forget stuff even looking at like the space stuff they're doing now and all

their rocket launches and how they're all cheering and celebrating when a rocket doesn't explode or when like most of the boost is turned on but it's like didn't we used to have a pretty good record of doing that like with people in them it's a feel like everyone's forgot everything yeah i i agree with that uh the scale that i judge it by is uh i remember a time before homeland security and there are a lot of people who don't because they weren't born then and uh if you think about that and then go back further and go like oh there are people who remember before the cia which is a relatively new thing in the scope of not just like people but like the nation and it's like when you're

talking about forgetting things to me it's the laying down the foundations of like weird new institutions that we go oh yeah that's always been here hasn't always been here very i feel like that with tsa there you go it's that that's like brand new yeah gracie said she's never experienced pre-tsa wow it's uh it's amazing how quickly when something is adopted you just get used to it. Yep. And then how the next generation is just born with it. They have it and they go, I guess it's just how it was. And then you go down the road and it's just an established thing. And the CIA is just there.

It's crazy. It's a OK. It's a it's all it's like being in Austin. You drive down the road and there's just a fucking crane in the middle of a block just ripping up a building. And you're like, what the fuck was that building yesterday? And you realize you drove by that building every day for 20 years. But the second they tore it down, you've completely flushed it from your memory. And then the next day, it's a new building.

And you're like, was there an old building there a week ago? And you just fucking, it's gone. The next time I come to your house, can I take something and see if you notice what I took awesome that rules what are the limits it can't be anything Emily's well how do I know

well you'll have to talk to her work it out with her she won't tell me Emily is here's one thing I'll say about my wife that is wonderful and frustrating about her Emily remains true to the bit that's true that's tremendous about her

if the bit is getting won over on me she will be the best fucking partner you have and she will not let it slip I want to see how big an item I can take without you noticing I i bet i'll fucking notice but we'll find out what celebrities do you guys think will exist past 50 years

that are alive now yeah that are big celebrities right now like if you think about it like taylor swift is probably the most famous person in the world i would think 50 years from now will people still remember taylor swift or 50 years after now, will people still remember Taylor Swift? Or 50 years after she dies, will people still remember Taylor Swift? Probably. But there's only going to be like four or five. From all of your lifetime, from your generation, all the most

famous people you know, all the most impactful people you know, it's going to be whittled down to 15 that are going to exist in history books or in media in some way after after 50 years it's just weird to think like ryan reynolds nobody's going to know who he is in 50 years john favreau might as well not have existed because they're not famous enough because very few fucking famous people go back and watch a movie from 1940 and recognize that everybody on

screen was famous in 1940 and everybody knew who they were but you maybe know one person you're like oh clark gable i remember him but you don't know who the other people were because most famous people don't i mean nothing exists past that 50 years including celebrities and so it's i don't know i've just i've been thinking a lot lately about like you can never tell what's gonna stand the test of time and what doesn't and it's always a bit surprising. I think we'll still have Dick Van Dyke. Do we have Dick Van Dyke now?

I don't know. I was watching an interview where Dick Van Dyke was talking about his outlook on life and how he's very active and he just tries to make new friends all the time because all of his friends died. Yeah. Like every single one of them. Well, he's got to be like 98, the time because all of his friends died. Yeah. Like every single one of them. Well, he's gotta be like 98, right? He's up there.

Yeah. I think about that with bands all the time. Like if you go back to 1997 and you go, dude, you know who's like super popular, like still around Reunion Tour, kicking off a new album in 2023, 2024 is Blink-182. I don't think anybody would have right thought that was a thing that stuck around it would have been any number of other bands that is that is a

great example eric it's like you you look at all those bands and you look at who's popular at the time and you're like oh well third eye blind is huge they're clearly going to be the ones that are going to release 30 albums and stand they're going to be the rolling stone someday but they're not it's green day and blink 182 are going to be the beatles and the rolling stones going on their final tour for the 50th fucking time when they're in their 70s that's who it's going to be and all those other bands that were just as good as them or the people like just as much as them won't it's just weird it's just weird what's what what stands the test of time and what doesn't either way shack shack will be remembered absolutely i think you're absolutely right

i think you're absolutely right yep this was a good episode of the so all right podcast is that what this was well andrew vanished and i was very distracted by that he's still gone yeah Andrew said he's not feeling well and needs to take off for a little bit what if we take when he came back after throwing up

cut there and then redo the second half of this podcast yeah we could do that well if we didn't and you hear this i just missed him i missed him yeah and me too i missed him too he provides so much uh he always provides so much unique energy to these kinds of questions and he always has like a fresh take on it but we didn't get it if you like hearing from uh gus take two here we two, one. If you like hearing from Jeff and Gavin, check out Does It Do? which premieres on January 29th

on our YouTube channel and on facepod.com. A new season of Does It Do? And you can see if it does. That's right. It's Jeff and Gavin and they're back and Gus is not there. Gus is nowhere to be found on this. pod.com a new season of does it do and you can see if it does that's right it's jeff and gavin and they're back and gus is not there gus is nowhere to be found on this is just is jeff and gavin and it's very good play here's a game you can play while you're watching season two of does it do see if you can spot the moment where i where i i bleed but hide it from the cameras this time

so nobody knows i just proved that before this. Incredibly obvious. Oh, is it? Well, there you go. You'll be able to tell when I bleed. Oh, man. That might be the first time I've ever knocked anyone flying. You knocked me flying, dude. You definitely did. I didn't know I had it in me.

Well, don't have it in you again. How about that? I won't. It wasn't on purpose. I hope this wasn't the worst episode we've ever made. We'll see. We'll leave it up to the audience. If Gavin's out, that's bad. No, honestly, the worst episode we ever made is where I had to talk about Snoopy for a while.

I don't know. I kind of like Snoopy. I think that was the worst episode we ever had. There's Snoopy for a while. I don't know. I kind of like Snoopy. I think that was the worst episode we ever had. There's some pretty Gavin-heavy ones that aren't great. We'll see you next time! Contact. Hey there, everybody. You think you probably

are just winding down listening to the end of episode 190, but we're not gonna do that to you because it was a weird fucking ending. I don't know if you noticed, but Andrew disappeared for about a half an hour there. He didn't know what the fuck was going on. So we're recording this, what is this, two days later, three days later? Andrew, you are still alive? I'm still alive, thankfully.

Can we finish the fucking episode now? What did I miss, first of all? What were we talking about when I had to dip out? We were fucking vamping alive, thankfully. Can we finish the fucking episode now? What did I miss, first of all? What were we talking about when I had to dip out? We were fucking vamping hard, dude. Oh, vamping hard, really? Yeah, it was like 20 minutes of vamp. Gavin accused me of just switching over and filming an episode of So Alright in the middle of it.

That wasn't an accusation. I was just saying it was Andrew-less, so we ended up just shooting the shit. It was nice. I enjoyed it, but... I apologize. So I was, as we ended up just, like, shooting the shit. It was nice, I enjoyed it, but... I apologize, so I was, as I mentioned, I started antibiotics, and I had, like, an allergic reaction to it

that I didn't know. I spent most of that recording thinking my appendix burst, and I was just trying to gut it out, but it was not easy, and then it just got to a point where I couldn't even listen. Well, you said this to me. You were talking about how it felt like your appendix was going to burst

and then afterwards you told me that you had it removed. Yeah, I didn't. I wasn't sure because I had I had like a surgery for unrelated stuff as a kid in that area and I couldn't remember if they just were like, this isn't an issue but maybe it will be later so we took it out. So I had to confirm.

So where is your appendix now? I don't know where it is but it's not in me that's all I know it's gone so it's unrelated regardless I just saw iron claw please don't gut anything out I don't want you to die in a fucking hotel in Japan someday like go to the

doctor immediately how north is Japan is that north is that is Japan genuinely north from where I am or is is it north or east? Like southeast. But it is north of the hemisphere. Who do you think has the most appendixes? What do you mean?

Well, like most people either have one or none. Do you think anyone has like a collection of appendixes in a jar? What? Do you think there's someone that has like a wisdom appendix? Oh! You could win the record you could win you could have a top rank with very few appendixes unless you're in like a a study of append die probably there's probably a museum of like there have you ever been to the

mutter museum in philadelphia no no it's like a museum of like medical oddities and they have like 400 babies that had spina bifida and so you could just go look at like a wall of like 300 spina bifida kids i'm sure there is like a museum that's just yeah just a bunch of burst appendixes you know like how some people get born with two cocks or like a third arm do you think anyone has had a second appendix inside them because that would be probably the worst thing to have two of because they're completely worthless aren't they like sometimes you have an extra finger or nipple it would be i guess it'd be the best thing to have two of but also the worst because it's it's not like you can use it i was thinking i was just to take a minute just a side step i appreciate jeff you went with an actual museum.

My mind immediately went to like the guy that's trying to collect every copy of Speed on VHS. Like the appendix equivalent of that dude. Just in a truck filled with appendixes. Being like, hey, you got one? I'll take it. I'm getting all of them. The first person with a double appendix was in 1892. That we know of.

Yeah, I know have before that. Its prevalence is very, very low. It's found in two in every 50,000 cases that have had surgery for appendicitis. But that's for people who, I've never had appendicitis. I might have five. I have no idea. Yeah, that's true. What do you think would be the absolute worst to have two of brain oh easy no nose

no double nose sucks yeah double nose sucks i think butthole double diarrhea oh that's bad too here's the problem with the nose though this is like a well-discussed topic your Your nose is in the perfect spot. There's no other place for a nose to be that would be as convenient. So the idea of a double nose being anywhere else is terrible. I think instead of being centered between your eyes, you just have a nose below each eye. Oh, no. That's pretty good.

And then you have, like, stereo smell. And you would think it was weird and gross until you found the first person with two noses that you thought was hot and then suddenly you'd get very used to it very quickly. I always thought that taste buds were in the perfect spot and that the worst other place that they could go would be like the palm of your hands.

You'd just be like sucking doorknobs. You know where I used to want taste buds to be? I used to want them to be on the roof of my mouth because of hamburgers. Oh. When I was a kid, I always bugged me that I would eat a cheeseburger, but I would never taste the cheese because it's up. And so I would try to eat my hamburger upside down so that I could get more cheese into my bite.

But then like stuff starts to fall out. And I always thought when I was a kid, why the fuck aren't my taste buds up top where the cheese is is I feel like those taste buds would be specifically for cheese and peanut but Like we should be able to evolve that right I Appreciate that you were eating the cheeseburger backwards instead of just putting the cheese on the bottom What am I gonna do go to a fucking Wendy's and be like can you please put my my cheese on the bottom, please? I'm nine no yeah

Absolutely can't not everybody's Andrew pantin not everybody's figuring out how to hack fast food Just ask I don't feel like that's a big ask Any ask of a grown-up by me as a kid was a big ask that's fair good good point by Nick Why is all of all of the pizza ingredients on the top where you don't taste them as well? Do you have to turn it you don't taste them as well? Do you have to turn it? You flip it over in your mouth? Have we all been eating pizza the wrong way?

I think that's why they made calzones, right? Well, that's all on the inside though, isn't it? Yeah, it's all on top. What's in your favorite calzone? What's an ideal calzone for you? I don't give a shit. It's all the same. I feel like a calzone is one of the few things

that the idea is so much better than the execution. Oh, I love calzones. I disagree. It's never as good as a pizza of the same thing, though. On occasion. If you get a good calzone, it is. But they're few and far between. Jeff's suddenly having calzone opinions.

Fascinating. I've had calzone opinions my whole life, dude. I'm no stranger to calzones. I never claimed you were a stranger. You just seem very like, I don't give a fuck about calzones, what's in whatever and then all of a sudden you're like oh there's i mean i just think they're kind of bog standard i'm with gavin but i will say that i've had calzones that have been like above and beyond before i've had calzones that are so good that

they make me continue to order calzones that i can continually be like i should have just got the pizza which is what i think nine times out of ten when I get a calzone. Right. You get like one or two fucking like just top tier calzones that that alone will convince you to fucking search out another 20 or 30 before you. I need to find my calzone then, because every time I get one, I'm like, ah, the pizza version would have been better.

I like a calzone because you can go into battle with a calzone and you don't need to worry about it. You can't take a pizza into a fight. There's a portability with a calzone and you don't need to worry about it you can't take a pizza into a fight there's a portability with a calzone that makes it unique same with the cornish pasty it's secure everything's packed in it's great uh where to eat the world's best calzone pizza uh oh antica naples italy what are you what an eric what is a core what is a cornish pasty cornish it's like a a much more flaky... It's like...

Imagine a calzone, but with very flaky pastry and meat and peas and shit inside. I did potato. Oh, never mind. Maybe not peas so much, but... Now, Cornish, that's... I always hear of a Cornish game hen. That is a type of chicken, right? And not...

Has very little to do with corn itself. Cornish is usually from Cornwall. Really? Oh! It's a region thing. Yeah, it's like the south-west of England. I didn't know that. I had no idea. I think a Cornish pasty, and this could just be one of those old

wives' tales, where they would send Cornish pasties down the mines and you didn't have to worry about cleaning or getting like coal And shit all over your food because you could just take a bite out of the Corner and then just suck the filling out The worst food experience in the mines Was whenever a bean hole would fall from the sky

It was dangerous It's a real talking mine food So you gotta watch out for the beans Didn't we film a ghost hunt show Where about dudes that fell in a mine Transporting food to each other And we did a thing where we had a ghost hunt show where about dudes that fell in a mine transporting food to each other and we did a thing where we had a pizza go down on with a little parachute do you remember that yeah i just got the weirdest fucking deja vu as andrew as andrew started describing he

started talking about food in the mines and i was was like, we filmed this. I was going to say, if you ever send a pizza via parachute and don't remember that, you've had quite the luck. That would definitely be an instant. I remember that is not a usual occurrence. That's a good point. I think that was the very last thing

we ever filmed for Haunter, actually. You might be right. Do you think if you were a miner and you lived or worked underground, would you go for the bean hole in the ground or in the ceiling? Ground. You would just put it even further down in the ground? Yeah, I think so. I like the way you're thinking.

I think we should go ceiling bean hole. I think that now. Because if you flip the pot upside down, you could potentially have a gravity fed bean dispenser all right so anyway i changed my mind well now i'm kind of in like kind of like what gavin's going with it it's kind of like imagine a little tap you feed a hamster water yeah i don't trust it i i live in a world of acme where anything metal above me that can fall is an instant death.

So I want I want that in the ground. Just think of like a roof. Just think of like a plastic or a metal nozzle that comes out. It's at mouth height. You put your mouth on it and then you spin a wheel slowly. It releases beans at the speed that you're comfortable with. You close it back up. And much like much like a Cornish pastyy your hands are fucking dry of food and you

didn't end up eating a bunch of coal i was imagining it like like airport nuts that seems too dangerous i think you just go straight into the mouth okay i love the idea of a miner accidentally connecting with the bean hole reserve and beans just flying out of the wall he's trying to clear some rocks and just raining beans. You hit the bean vein. Oh, Christ. Does that feel like a better ending to the episode now that

we're all together and we know Andrew didn't die? I feel good about it. I think so. Yeah. I just want to give the audience. I think so. Yeah. All right. I like it. I just want to give the audience an hour of Andrew. Yeah.

Well, how much additional time did we I'm not looking at my recording. 11, 12 minutes. We've given him an extra 12 minutes. Andrew, you got another two or three minutes in you? Oh, absolutely. I did.

All right. Take it. Take it away. What were you going to talk about last week that you didn't two days ago or whatever? I don't even remember that. but what I am thinking about now is what pizza has the best chance of survival

in a parachute situation because I'm typically a pepperoni guy but I don't know if I would trust pepperoni on top but I feel like that's like the base pizza for travel I think pepperoni is the only way you can you can do it because the pepperoni and the cheese together

create a latticework that hold it all together. I think any other ingredients falling off, like sausage, you're fucked, right? Yeah. And then if you just have cheese, I can just see the cheese sliding right down. I think something about the pepperoni is going to hold it in. Now, do you think the stuffed crust, would it all change the

scenario of what you could possibly be working with? It'd be heavier. I feel like it might absorb, I think by stuffing the crust, it might protect the toppings more. Like it's a crash pad, essentially, for the pizza. I'm imagining one of those buoyant things in the ocean that the heroes of films

get picked up on at the end. Oh, yeah. Now that is an idea. A survivability raft that's a calzone. You slowly eat. You're the ingredients. It's just the shell. Are there any dessert calzones?

No. That's called a crepe. Fucking idiot. That was way too aggressive. I'm sorry. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. That was a joke.

That was in my head. I thought that would be such a ridiculous thing to be mean about. Are you having... I wanted that reaction from Nick. Are you having phantom appendix pains again? Oh, we got to end the show. The question I had asked you, Andrew, that I never heard the answer from that we were talking about,

was I had recently read or learned that the people have like culturally we have a 50 year memory and anything that's older than 50 years disappears from our understanding like it might as well have never happened and that applies to celebrities and we're just talking about how very few celebrities are going to survive 50 years from now and still be remembered and I was just asking if you had any I think what I wanted to do was ask who you thought would survive the, I guess, the test of time.

That's a great question. Like Taylor Swift probably will make it, but like nobody's going to remember Mark Ruffalo 50 years from now. You know who's going to get lost to time that it's like a real goddamn shame that they will because they're great and everything they're in? I have an immediate answer to this.

Eric will be eternal. Gooch pooch? You kidding me? What the fuck? My answer is John Hawks. John Hawks is such a great actor. He's in so many things. I already don't know who he is. I don't know who that is now. You may know him from

Blue Streak, but if you look him up, he's a dramatic actor. Typically, he was in Eastbound and Down as Danny McBride's brother. He is. Oh, yeah. I know who that dude is. Absolutely. Yeah, he's he's a he's a fantastic actor that I just has never had like that role where everyone's like, oh, yeah, that guy. He's like the guy you walk out of the movie from and go like, he was fucking good, but you don't know who he is. John Hawks will not stand. Yeah, he's certainly fucked historically,

but I mean, I'm thinking, Sandra Bullock, people like that level won't be remembered either. That's true. I also think Mark Ruffalo will be remembered. Because you always remember the names of people who have played superheroes. You can name all the Supermans.

I completely agree. Yeah, I think because of the Marvel thing. Who was the first Superman? Oh, what's his name? It was someone similar to Reeves, wasn't it? You don't remember it, is the answer. I know that. So you don't always, you don't remember the very first fucking Superman.

The only Superman for like 40 years. Well, it was TV, wasn't it? Yeah, but he was the original Superman. And I guarantee you don't remember the lady who played Lois Lane. Oh, he was Ben Affleck, right? Was the original Superman in Hollywood land? George Reeves was the original Superman. Yeah.

And then Christopher Reeve. You remember all the superheroes that existed within the 50 years that you've been alive? Or they're in your window? My point is to that, you can Google that. That's a very naturally Google-able thing and a thing that people in the future will learn. Nobody's looking up who was Henchman 3 in Blue Streak. That's John Hawks' fuck.

You can't keep using Blue Streak as a touchstone. That was the first thing I saw of it as a kid. Is that the movie where they hit the diamond and it became a police station? Yeah, it is. You just keep using it as a touchstone. He plays Martin Lawrence's best friend

who is on the crew and he gets murdered by the evil members of the crew. He was the good guy of the criminals that doesn't make it out of the first act. I was thinking about that in a different sense. So you may remember that. Yeah, well I will, but I'm saying history won't. I would say that people

don't remember Henchmen 3 of current movies. Yeah. What I was thinking about in sort of relation to this is how weird it will be when the entire cast of Fast and Furious is dead. And that I will most likely be alive for that. There will be a time in which all of the actors will have died.

You think you're going to outlive, like, Michelle Rodriguez? Oh, 100% I'm going to outlive Michelle Rodriguez. Easily. Really? Yeah, he's going to make sure of it. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, she's pretty young, right?

No, she's, I mean, she's probably close to my age, maybe. Yeah, she's actually Jeff's age. Early 40s? She was pretty young in the first one. And also, well, the first one was 100 years ago. Yeah, she's actually Jeff's age. Early 40s? She was pretty young in the first one. Well, the first one was 100 years ago. Yeah, it was a long time ago. She's 45.

Yeah, she's three years younger than me. Also, she's in fantastic shape and seems to take very good care of herself. I think she's probably going to... Fingers crossed

she makes it for a while. Yeah, I'm not wishing death upon any of these people in the near future if I were a major player in Fast and Furious I'd be watching my fucking back now after Andrew where were you when Paul Walker died

uh I was thinking about his work in Into the Blue is where I was underrated film I think properly rated I feel like every everyone saw Blue Streak. And why is that? It was like TBS for me a lot. Martin Lawrence.

Yeah, it was like a huge movie, but it wasn't really... Is it like an original IP? Yeah. Yeah, but people saw it because it was Martin Lawrence at kind of the height of his popularity. Yeah. Yeah. Like it was when Martin Lawrence was... I mean kind of the height of his popularity. Yeah. Like it was when Martin Lawrence was,

I mean, he was a big draw at the time. Which is the best movie with blue in the title? It's not Blue Crush starring Michelle Rodriguez. Thank you that much. Movies with blue in the title. Blue Valentine is a rough one. Oh, Blue Velvet. Easily, easily. It's Blue Velvet.

Yeah, Blue Velvet's good. Not Into the Blue. I think that's the first time I saw Josh Brolin. It's Into, easily. It's Blue Velvet. Yeah, Blue Velvet's good. Not Into the Blue. I think that's the first time I saw Josh Brolin. It's Into the Blue. It's a villain. You didn't see him in Goonies? Oh, yeah. Well, I don't think I saw Goonies.

I think I saw Into the Blue first. I've definitely seen Goonies. Was there a Blue Heat? If there wasn't, we should make it. There's a lot of shit called Blue, apparently. Now we should wrap up. brothers that blue lagoon blues clues biloxi blues blue sea was a good movie holy shit there's a bunch of blue movies blue blue chris penn reservoir dogs. Out of the fucking blue! Such a great

delivery. Anyway, we should wrap this up because this is a post thing and we're almost at 20 minutes. My Blue Heaven with Rick Moranis and Steve Martin. Oh yeah! I don't know what that is. Are you serious? Oh my god. Rick Moranis is an FBI agent. Steve Martin is a mob guy.

He turns state's evidence and rats on the mob and so he's put into witness protection. Oh, I'm feeling pain! My pain's... Oh, I gotta go! Oh, the pain! Oh, we should wrap it up. Andrew's hurting again, man. We gotta end this thing. So then he has to move into the suburbs and he's like a fish out of water but Steve Martin is like a funny New Yorker

guy. We're gonna love it. We'll see you next time. Thanks for listening. Andrew just died. We're going to go make funeral arrangements. Bye-bye. You're next, Vin Diesel. Hey, guys. Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face.

Toothpaste life hacks. It's cold outside. Eyeballs are weird. Did you know a marathon is roughly 65,000 steps that Andrew hasn't taken yet? Who remembers the Animorphs? Let's make some beverages. Is it time for another Halo bet? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil.

All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.