F**kface - Buying a Mini Blimp // Naked Floppy Running [193]
Episode Date: February 14, 2024Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew start the episode off with some mellow check ins and talk about Andrew and Gavin’s Google Maps game, Does It Do? Sunglasses debacle, Geoff’s tone shift, Trucks, Palworld, ...Sodastream carbonated juice, unifarm innovation, exploding Soda Stream canisters, explosive colors, using compressed air on an Xbox, Andrew’s vacuuming frequency, if blimping is a dead technology, buying a mini blimp, Eric’s wrestling commentary, naked old men flopping vs. Sienna Miller running in a gown, John Malkovich burping, Andrew’s ad read clip, playing Payday 3, negative returns on Gurplers, being there for each other's penis’, what would blow your mind if you were from the 1950’s, and more. Sponsored by Katos Koffee http://katoskoffee.com code FACE10 , Shopify http://shopify.com/face , Füm https://tryfum.com/FACE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Hello, and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast.
My name is Jeff Ramsey, and with me, as always, I gotta be honest with you, it's the most
talented bunch of boys and girls in the whole podcasting industry.
Clearly, I'm talking about Andrew Panton from all the way up in Vancouver Island, Canada.
Andrew, I have to ask you real fast.
Are your ankles strong today?
Oh, 100%.
100% ankles.
Are your teeth firm?
Teeth are fine.
Well, yeah, they're okay.
Knee is fucked, but we're fine.
We're good.
Well, maybe we can get into the knee a little bit, but I got to say. Oh, we did. The Swiffer issue. Still recovering, but it's fine. Right, right, they're okay. Knee is fucked, but we're fine. We're good. Well, maybe we can get into the knee a little bit, but I gotta say...
Oh, we did. The Swiffer issue. Still recovering, but it's fine.
Right, right, right. So you're still just working through that.
Well, I hope it's a swift recovery, not to be funny there.
Gavin, my best friend in the whole world.
Wunderkind, filming extraordinaire.
You were far more successful in your other career
as a slow-mo guy.
How are you doing today, man?
How, how you been?
Firm teeth.
Good, good.
Were you, were there, were your teeth in question?
Nope.
They were not on the injury report.
Now I hear lately you haven't, you haven't been sleeping well.
Yeah, there's nothing new there though.
I mean, I'm a shit sleeper.
Hmm.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe maybe have you ever tried any homeopathic remedies
uh like huffing a bunch of shite well there's probably a healthier way to to express that but
yeah there might be some solutions you could look into maybe yoga or maybe i know a lot of people
find uh they transcendental meditation helps them with their sleep. But it's not just you guys and me here. It's also Eric, producer extraordinaire, Nick, and Gracie.
You guys are somewhere back there in the weeds making everything happen,
keeping us on our toes, as it were.
Hello.
How are you doing today, Gracie?
How's your dog?
My dog is asleep on the wooden floor,
but she did pee and poop in the kitchen this morning.
That could be a sign of distress or illness.
You want to take a...
I think it's a sign of her losing bowel control at her old age.
Oh, that's...
I'm sorry to hear that.
I must admit, I went through that with two dogs recently.
It's heartbreaking.
It's okay.
She looks great doing it.
I'll be honest with you.
I'm going to have you in my prayers.
I'm going to be thinking about you.
You and the dog every night. Gracie's dog is a model. It's stunning and perfect. Don't be honest with you. I'm going to have you in my prayers. I'm going to be thinking about you. You and the dog.
Gracie's dog is a model.
It's stunning and perfect. Don't say anything about her.
She's a model.
She got tapped to be a
model. Wow.
For what? Like a canine incontinence
model?
Well, maybe a little bit.
She modeled
for a pet supplement brand.
Did they Photoshop Tim Allen's eyes on it?
No.
She has pretty little eyes.
Non-human like eyes.
Hey, Nick.
How's the Bambino?
How's your family doing?
They're doing great, man.
We're having a good time.
I don't know, man, but I'm having a good time.
I don't know what Jeff's doing. I'm so glad to hear it. I'm so glad to hear that everybody seems to be doing good. Oh, they're doing great, man. We're having a good time. I don't know, man, but I'm having a good time. I don't know what Jeff's doing.
I'm so glad to hear it.
I'm so glad to hear that everybody seems to be doing well, thriving and surviving, even
though there's clearly some difficulties in all of our lives.
You guys don't seem to be letting it get you down.
You're maintaining a positive attitude.
How are you, Jeff?
I want you to know I appreciate that.
Well, I'm doing really well, too.
Thanks for asking, Gavin.
I got no complaints, you know.
I have the new puppy myself, so that can be a little bit of a handful,
but I'm working through it.
What do you guys want to talk about today?
I would just like to make an update for my introduction.
I'd like to be referred to as the cock winner, Andrew Panton, from now.
We can do that.
Going forward.
We can absolutely do that.
The big cock win last week.
It's a great trophy.
Thank you so much for that.
Referred to as the Canadian cock winner?
Whatever, any variation, as long as it's included.
The Vancouver cock winner?
Oh.
Could be.
It makes me uneasy that I never know what a recording is going to be like.
Yeah?
Let's get into that.
What do you think that comes from, Gavin?
That's interesting.
I think you.
All right. strong gavin that's interesting i think you all right when you say me in specific like you never you're doing oh is it because we don't we don't always go over notes ahead of time
to let me never know like what we said ahead of time so i agree it is always a bit of a mystery
what we're going to walk into but that's i think that's part of the fun of the of what we do here
guys right guys and girls i would say it's more to do with the consistency of the people interesting why don't
we peel back those layers well i feel like i'm i'm single layered uh i i enter pretty much the
same every week it's it's quite predictable i think and to you you see value in predictability is what i'm
surmising from that statement would that be uh would that be correct i just want to be a
reliable constant in the lives of my friends well if that is if that is your stated goal
let me tell you gavin you have hit a home run every day that we've been friends
you you definitely you definitely uh have achieved that over and over and over again a bastion of uh
of steadfastness is what i would i would refer to you as huh i can i can i talk about something or
talk about uh consistency and and all that stuff and being a good friend?
Because Gavin, I mean, it's really, it's my fault, but Gavin has been a consistent pain in my ass for like the last two and a half, three months, and he doesn't even know.
Oh, no.
He put me in a nightmare of my own doing, Jeff.
Oh, no.
I'm so sorry to hear that.
No, it's okay.
It's fine.
You don't need, that's a little much.
It's okay.
And Gavin doesn't know he's done this, right?
He doesn't know.
I bet you Gavin has forgot that he's even done this to me.
I bet Gavin's feeling really confused and guilty right now and doesn't know why.
So let's get to the bottom of this so he doesn't have to drag that feeling.
I don't even remember how it started.
But I had the thought of, I wonder if I could find a place in Austinin and if gavin would be able to find it on
google we're talking about google map stuff at oh i remember this yeah yeah so i picked a random spot
on google maps and sent it to gavin be like yeah it's gonna take him forever to find this
and gavin determined the location within about 10 minutes maybe And it turns out that the place... Well, I've been there before.
Yeah, the place I had picked,
Gavin had been to twice.
It was a random coffee shop that I picked.
And he had been there on two separate occasions and he instantly found one.
And then he said to me,
do you want one?
And I said, sure.
You know, like I live in a much smaller place.
It'd be easier for me.
So Gavin sent me a photo of a house
and I have not
been able to find this fucking house for like three months now and i've been roaming the streets
and google maps sometimes i just go for a drive and i just drive around seeing if i can because
it's a very uh noticeable house it's it's like i would recognize it immediately the place you live
much smaller than austin so much smaller, as I said. It's a lot
smaller of a community, so I thought, whatever, like, yeah,
I'll do one, and I'm sure I'll recognize
it. But the angle and everything he picked,
it's so hard to tell. It looks like it'd be
so many places. Obviously not gonna
share a photo of this house, but I have
been haunted by this stupid house that
Gavin sent, and I thought that I
would be the one making him on a chase for a while.
Took him ten minutes. I'm three months in
not any closer
I'm nearing the point of having to
make like a grid of the entire city
and like marking off what streets I've
been on now is this
a single family home
from what you can tell
two story like two story like
a freestanding yeah
okay interesting interesting it it is it
feels like something you should be able to remember or recognize and i have no idea where it is but
i've been i've been roaming the internet streets whenever i have free time looking for this house
and it is so annoying that i haven't found it yet i can understand how that'd be pretty perplexing
uh gavin this house it is it within the the confines of vancouver island he's looking
he's looking in the right place he just it's kind of like finding a needle in a haystack it sounds
like but it shouldn't be it should it's like it's like a needle in a few strands of grass is more
i'd say the analogy is definitely harder because i just picked some house which is definitely a
place you wouldn't have been unless i got really lucky. Whereas you gave me
a much more easy one. Because I could tell
by the look
of it that it was pretty modern in Austin.
And then I realized I'd been there.
And then I think I sent you a picture of me and Trevor there.
Yeah, I think you did.
It was
annoying. And I felt
like you had done a magic trick.
How cool would it be if you sent Gavin a picture of you and Trevor at this house that would be
something to shoot for huh think about for sure Andrew do you remember when I
exported that fruit-throwing video for you without audio and then I exported my
next actual video yes I didn't have audio. Do you remember the text I sent you?
No.
I feel like we go over that text every episode.
I'm surprised you don't remember it.
Well, I sent you a text,
and you thought I was talking about something else.
What did I think you were talking about?
Well, I was hoping you would remember, to be honest.
Let me go back to the message.
I don't remember any of this.
You don't remember when I said, like, you've screwed me? Oh, yeah, yeah, I was hoping you would remember, to be honest. Let me go back to the message. I don't remember any of this.
You don't remember when I said, like, you've screwed me?
Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
Yeah, I know what we're talking about now.
What did you think I was talking about?
Uh, well, we were... Did it ever come into play, Gracie, what I was talking about?
Damn, Gracie, is it on this?
Because there was a possibility.
Remember the thing I
dictated for a long time
ago yeah did that
ever happen because there was a
possibility on the second day that
they could have arrived
and that's the last I heard about it
wait I need you to
slack me okay I'm
just we're gonna skip this part.
I'll just go right into it.
So we did, you guys did, does it do?
And it was sponsored by shady rays.
And at the time, I found it.
I found the message.
Yeah.
I thought, cause you said you fucked me.
Yeah.
And you said you look like the coolest kid in third grade.
Yes.
Cause like an hour later you said, what do you think i did and i
explained what i was talking about and because you said disregard my original response to this
conversation and i realized now i never followed up on what the goddamn you were talking about
now i know what you're talking about and andrew it didn't end up happening oh that's sad that's
too bad so shady race kind enough to sponsor does
it do and it was you two were asked what sunglasses you would like to wear during the video to do it
but i think it was around the time of your wedding jeff so neither of you were around and i said if
they don't answer you i will do this i'll i'll pick for them and so i picked you a really cool
i think was like the Falcon or something Jeff
I picked you some cool pair of glasses
and then I picked Gavin something that reminded
me of like what I would have
thought was really cool in third grade
and looked ridiculous and you
sent me without context the day of the
first shoot you fucked me
which perfectly aligned with what I
was going for because I just thought
even though they're a great looking pair of sunglasses,
they would not, I think,
fit with your personality or look at all.
So that's what I thought you were talking about.
And then I messaged Gracie about it
and she let me know that the sunglasses
didn't actually arrive that I picked,
that you're using different ones.
In which case, I had no idea.
Then I had to circle back to you
to figure out what I had
done to you, which I still don't think
was really my fault.
That's a big kerfuffle, guys.
I think we straightened it out.
Glad we got to the bottom of that.
The pair of glasses that Emily
took the other day after the break show were one
of the pairs.
I assumed that that's what they were
when she took them. Looked good on her, though.
Emily looked cool as fuck
with those sunglasses.
Those things were rad as shit.
They were great.
Hell yeah.
That's a lot of expletives from Eric,
but you can tell he means what he's saying.
You gotta appreciate that.
Goddamn right.
Yeah!
All right, I like Nick chiming in.
So does the audience, Nick.
You're an audience favorite, and clearly for good reason.
That's awesome.
Let's take a quick poll of all the talent on the show real quick.
Just, I have a couple of questions.
Okay.
One, does anyone think that Nick has worn the mask so far this year?
No, I don't think so.
Okay.
No.
Second question.
How are we feeling about the Jeff in this episode?
It's weird because it was pretty normal about 25 minutes ago.
It is a dramatic.
We just recorded a bunch of stuff.
And Jeff, the tone has shifted in the past which I really I'm wondering
if something happened in the 15
minutes between when we stopped and
started this or Jeff was alone
or if this is a calculated
move going into this
episode now
is that is that
just thrown out to the group
as a whole or would you like me to
address I feel like that was more pointed at you.
Okay, gotcha.
Well, I'm not sure,
if I'm being completely honest with you, Andrew,
and I try to be at all opportunity.
I'm trying to be honest with myself,
trying to be honest with everybody.
I think it's an important trait
in a human being to have.
I don't, I guess I don't know what you mean.
If there's a difference in tone or a shift,
I would personally attribute it to the fact
that the previous content we were filming
was video game content,
and then this is podcast content.
And so maybe there's some sort of a...
Maybe there's something in me
that I don't even recognize that's unconscious
where I switch roles slightly,
or maybe I just have...
There's been a
slight shift in gear I think but I'm not looking at anything I'm just like using my mind theater
of the mind right that's what we always say about the podcast yeah and so um yeah I guess I don't I
guess I just I guess I'm not aware of it if it's there yeah I would say it's uh you've shifted down
it to use truck the trucks terminology I think you're getting out of the mud is what it sounds
like speaking of getting out of the mud can i tell you guys i played trucks last night
for a couple hours it was the first time we'd played in over a week it uh it we just hadn't
been able to sync up and get together in a while and then it wasn't working it was it was real bad
the last few times we tried but with the new dlc coming out i thought let's give it a shot you know
let's give it the old college try even even though I didn't really go to college.
And it was working.
It worked great.
And we played for hours and hours last night.
And I got so stuck in the mud and I got so unstuck in the mud.
And we did a bunch of missions.
And it was just a great time.
Just a great time.
Really happy that I got to do it.
You guys been playing any fun video games lately?
It's funny that you mentioned that, Jeff.
There is a certain video
game that is huge right now called pow world everybody's playing pow world it's all over the
place uh i haven't tried it yet and one of the main reasons i haven't played it yet despite almost
everybody i know playing it is you brought up in our group text, maybe a week ago at this point, has anyone here played pal world to which Gavin and I said no.
And then you replied to that by saying,
maybe don't,
maybe it's a great first impression video.
So despite everybody I know playing pal world,
I decided I'm not going to play with my friends outside of the recordings or
anything.
I'm just,
this is,
I'm going to save it because jeff
thinks it would be a great first impressions video and then we synced up this morning to
record content and immediately i hear from jeff about all of the countless hours of power he's
been playing and then you can't get enough of it and we need to get in on this and i quietly went
you son of a bitch i have not been playing it because of your suggestion
of it being your first view and
all you're doing is playing power world at the moment
okay well first of all
if you'd allow me the space to respond
of course I appreciate you
giving me the space
I uh
listen it's just it's my space right now
we'll give you all the space in the world
when it's your time I think that's only fair uh i i gotta i gotta be honest with you i feel a
little bit of ire from you and and that that has my hackles up a bit and i'm trying i'm trying not
to to let that get the better of me but uh i guess i i guess i would say i stand by what i said in
that i always find the best kind of content is when we can discover something for the first time on camera. It always creates the best possibility, as it were.
Now, I didn't mean please don't play the game for the next week. I just meant if you guys haven't
played it already, let's get in there and film a video whenever is convenient for you all so that
we can capture that first moment, because I think it could be magical, right? And then I've been
playing. Yeah, I've been playing
yeah I've been playing and I have been playing and I'll continue to play and here's why because I
need to be a a good steward in this game I need to be able to lead you guys through it and understand
imagine if we all were confused about trucks nobody would get anywhere I had to put a couple
hundred hours into trucks so that I could understand how to present it to you guys and
how to help you along and And so I was kind of approaching
Pal World in the same way.
But by all means, if you would like to play
it on your own, outside of video,
I'm not trying to hold you back.
At all. But I would love to play it
with you. You guys are my best friends in the whole world.
And I would love to play
my current obsession with
you guys all the time,
if possible.
In your defense, I went back
and I looked at the text, and you never stated
that you hadn't played it before. I just
made that assumption.
And I thought it was just
very funny, because I've been actively avoiding it.
Oh, you assumed, yeah, I didn't realize you assumed that.
You know what? That's a
lack of communication on my part. I'm gonna
write that down, I'm gonna put a pin in that,
and I'm gonna work on that in the future.
That's something that I can do to improve our relationship.
I'm really excited for when we get to Trucks 2
because I've been playing a lot of Trucks,
and I'm out of the mud now.
I think it's going to...
The jump in my truck ability from video 2 to video 3 is vast.
I'm ready for it.
I can't go any further with this dumb thing.
I gotta stop.
I wore myself out.
I appreciate that.
I did it as fucking long as I could.
I'm losing my life so much
to pay attention to it.
I don't know.
I feel like if I was lying,
if I was Harvest on Noah,
I would have fallen asleep.
Once I fucking started,
I couldn't stop and then
I could tell and here's the thing it
was I appreciated everybody rolling with it
and it was getting under Gavin's skin and that just
kept it going I couldn't stop because of Gavin
like every time every time I got close
to winding down he would sigh or go
and then I was like ah
you just bought another five minutes you little shit
yeah I didn't
know what was happening but but I know you,
so I was like, I just can't react negatively to this in any way.
Eventually, this is going to change.
The tide will turn.
That sigh must have been completely involuntary
because it just flew out of me.
I was like, how much of the episode is going to burn for this bit?
I wanted to see if I could present a kinder, softer, gentler,
more inclusive environment for us to play in.
And I see now that that has no business here.
Well, that's just not who we are.
It's just not who we are.
I think the energy was more the issue.
I don't think it was the tone.
It was the pacing.
It was your verbal pacing. It was throwing me off. I was't think it was the tone. It was the pacing. It was your verbal pacing.
I was just trying to keep everybody chill.
I'm impressed with Andrew
and his ability to roll with that
for so long.
Yeah, me too.
I was locked in.
I'm impressed with my ability
to roll with that for that long.
No, you could have done that
for four hours.
Andrew kept going
as though you were being
a normal human.
Gavin's right 100%
I don't think I could have kept that going for four
hours that was pretty I was killing
I kept it going as long as I physically
could and I think
that that was a great depiction of
who you are Jeff of you were doing this
bit that you don't even really
find funny anymore but you're you're annoying
Gavin and that brings you joy
and so you do it for almost
20 minutes because gavin is so
irritated that was like a cold war
yeah
in podcasting
that was a that was
a civil cold war
i hate myself so much
sometimes i've done so much work not to hate
myself in the grand scheme of things,
like getting over the alcohol and all that and like learning to like myself
and all the therapy and shit.
But there are moments when I get stuck in like,
and Eric,
I'll speak in terms you can understand.
I get stuck in my like bingey stick coma and I just,
I can't find a way out.
I just won't,
like my brain won't let me.
And then I just like fucking hate myself,
but I can't do anything about it.
When you started it at the top of the episode,
I went,
well,
he didn't have this planned,
but he just found this.
So I guess we're going to see how long it goes for.
And it went roughly 20 minutes.
I didn't have a plan at all.
It's just how my,
it's just,
yeah,
I just noticed I was kind of chill.
So I just thought,
fuck,
I was trying to picture it.
Like I was trying to figure out who wronged you between,
between recording,
but you didn't go anywhere. I don't think so. I was like, man, nobody wronged me. I was trying to figure out who wronged you between recording. But you didn't go anywhere, I don't think.
So I was like, man.
Nobody wronged me.
I was worried something happened in the small space between.
I was just playing it chill, man.
Yeah?
Chill?
Chill and helpful.
Just want to give everybody space to communicate and talk.
I have a chill update.
Let's do it.
Y'all persuaded me. You made me come into the fold.
You're doing the marathon. I'm
streaming. No, he's streaming. I'm streaming.
You're a streamer. I got my stream set.
Mm hmm. What's your favorite stream
flavor so far? So here's the thing.
I haven't got any of the syrup yet
for it. So I've been
I've been carbonating juices and having a great time.
I did some carbonated orange juice the other day.
Did some cranberry raspberry yesterday.
This is great.
I'm having a great time.
Is a carbonated orange juice essentially just an orange Julius?
Yeah, it is.
It was sort of unnerving.
It's a little bit slightly different of a taste, but yeah, it's similar that's a great comparable it feels very fancy too yeah we we could open
up our own mall store yeah we just like sell carbonated juices to people or they bring their
own juice and we carbonate it yeah it's like a it's like a byo jc kind of yeah
bring your own juice to carbonate this is fucking that's the name of our store It's like a BYOJC kind of thing. Yeah.
Bring your own juice to carbonate.
This is fucking,
that's the name of our store.
BYOJC.
Did we talk about for Uniform,
I know, Jeff,
you were talking about the key that you shove in a,
that you wrap toothpaste tubes around
and it squeezes it all out.
Oh, yeah.
Did we talk about Uniform
making one of those?
No.
No.
Because that could go pretty well
with the bread clip.
You think so?
I don't know how to
improve upon it.
It's already a perfect...
Yeah, that's the...
That's the problem.
It's like Uniform...
Uniform's not just about
logo slapping.
Uniform's about innovation.
No, it's innovation.
Yeah, but I think
we can innovate.
I'm going to get in the lab.
I'll tell you that right now.
You've challenged me
to get in the lab
and see how we can innovate...
How we can innovate
toothpaste.
And as Nick says uh based on our
previous stuff slap a magnet on it slap a magnet i have a question for you guys about the streaming
because you're ahead of me on the curve uh currently i have um all of the like bottles
for it the the the compressed whatever carbonation uh just in room. Where should I store this? Where should I store
the CO2 type things?
Huh? Like the
CO2 canister? Yeah, the
canister. How many do you have?
So that's the thing. I bought two. They
sent me four. I have four of them
currently.
And they're just all around my room.
And as somebody who plays a lot of first
person shooters,
I feel like I'm in an explosive war zone right now.
Anytime, like when I see one,
my brain just immediately goes,
someone's going to shoot that,
fire's going to shoot out the side,
and then it's going to blow up.
Are they red?
No, they're white.
I think you're probably fine.
They're fine? Okay.
Yeah, they're only flammable if they're red.
Yeah, only red barrels in Kenist is explode.
I would put them in your closet, so you don't have to look at them anymore, but yeah, you know I
Don't know I don't start only have one and it's the one that's in this the soda stream And then when I when it goes empty I just go to Target by new a white canister can explode
I mean if you ever shot a white barrel in a video game and had explode propane tanks
Your propane tanks not
explode if you shoot them? Oh, like Left 4 Dead?
Yeah. They'll fire.
They'll zoom off. Good point.
Yeah, be really careful around it then.
What's a non-
What's the most non-exploding color?
Would you say blue?
Blue, I think, is
butane, though, a lot of the time.
Oh, it is? What about green?
Does green explode?
I don't think green explodes.
Paint them green.
Okay.
Also, I don't think fire would shoot out.
I think you have the opposite problem.
Oh, really?
Like it would freeze.
Oh.
Green is like noxious gas.
Yeah, you'll die.
Can't do that.
That's true, yeah.
The room would get all green.
Poison air.
Maybe yellow.
Ooh, yellow. Yellow? I got a lot of canisters because i also i bought compressed air because i noticed when i
was playing trucks my xbox sounded like it was gonna die and i thought this could either be a
trucks issue or something's going on my xbox in every game it did the same thing so i read that
it's uh probably a dust problem.
Let me tell you, if you haven't compressed air your Xbox,
I'd highly recommend it.
I could not believe the amount of dust that shot everywhere.
I would say it was like a tomb. It was like we went into a tomb and opened something
that had been buried for millions of years.
Did you feel like Brendan Fraser?
I did, yeah.
It kind of was like in Chernobyl,
you know, when it's all the atomic ash coming down
and they think it's snow.
It was like that out of my Xbox.
What kind of Xbox do you have?
Xbox Series X.
So like the big...
The big, the like little fridge.
The fridge one.
Yeah.
That's the one I have too.
And so it was getting loud and then you compressed air and now it's fine?
Yeah, it sounded like it was like a snowplow or like a heavy truck outside of where I live
every time I tried to play any game on my Xbox.
I was wondering why you had compressed air when you were unboxing your cock last week.
Yeah, it was because I cleaned out my Xbox with it.
And I would highly recommend it.
So, that's a good idea.
Yeah. I should try that.
I may or may not have just
bought a whole new Xbox Series
X because
my Xbox is overheating.
No! I wonder if I could have
just blown it out. God damn it.
Well, why don't you try blowing it out?
Here's what happened to my Xbox One X.
Here's why I think it might be different.
Emily always puts up like, you know,
40 billion Christmas decorations.
And so the Xbox is on the, I don't know,
on the console in front of the TV.
And it always gets covered,
like covered in holly and candles and all that shit and at christmas
this year for the first time ever my xbox started overheating and it'll just like shut a game down
and be like it's the xbox is running too hot to play this game right now reboot it and cool it
down and try again and then so i made her take all the all that shit off and then i stood it up
because it had been laying down and it worked okay for a little while. But then it just started overheating in any game I play.
Like I couldn't play more than two minutes on Power World and it would just turn my Xbox
off.
So I just fucking went out and bought a new one.
But now I'm going to buy some canned air and see if I can get some canned air.
Yeah.
And if you can't give it to Eric or Nick, because we were trying to we're slowly.
I can do that.
We're building.
Let's play.
I mean, I probably should give it to Millie.
But yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, he's slightly she's above you guys're built for the Let's Play. I mean, I probably should give it to Millie, but yeah. Oh, yeah.
She's slightly, she's above you guys
in the hand-me-down thing.
Understandable. How often do you vacuum your room,
Andrew?
Not, maybe
like, I don't
know, once a month, maybe.
Oh, it's not as bad as I expected. Not a lot.
Not a lot at all.
Yeah. I was trying to come up with a number that sounded reasonable, but...
Oh, so you're just making it up?
Yeah, I just threw that number out there.
It's probably been five months, six months since the last time I did it.
Well, that could be your problem.
Yeah.
Every time you set one footstep, you'd kick it up all the dust in the room,
and it's getting sucked in by your Xbox.
Yeah.
It definitely felt like there was 20 years worth of dust
in this Xbox.
And obviously with you stepping in Swiffer wet jet boxes,
that's really going to kick up the most.
It did.
It launched.
My foot went into the Xbox area,
so it definitely kicked any additional dust
into the vent thing but you should definitely try it jeff because it's a very holy system
there's a lot of holes you could shove that compressed air yeah i'll do that and it just
flies if i can save this xbox it'd be awesome to give it to mill um or one of you guys if she
doesn't want it but uh i I think I justified it to myself
because it was like it was a free Xbox
I got through work anyway so I have never
actually bought a Series X so
I figured I've got enough
free use out of this Xbox I can afford to pay for one
yeah but I would still
look at it but still like to recoup
the other Xbox and have it working
good morning like to recoup the other Xbox and have it working.
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Do you want to hear a disturbing discovery i made recently please
what do you know about blimps uh they're incredibly dangerous yeah they explode they
were supposed to be the future of travel right at one point yeah do you know how many blimps there
are uh in the world yeah well we got the good year blimp i'm gonna say three
i'm gonna say i'm gonna say one i think it's just one blimp i think it's there's gotta be a backup
i say three oh okay well maybe my fact wouldn't be very mind-blowing to you there's 25
huh yeah that sounds right a lot yeah i think that's such
a low amount no i mean i picked three because i could tell where you were going with this but
yeah it does seem like i mean they're not practical in any way right no i thought they
were just above every like sporting event that's what i was 25 that's like why are we using them
at football games if If there's only
25, we should be using them very sparingly
for whatever their intended
purpose is. Football games.
That means all blimps are limited edition.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.
I feel like I've never seen a blimp.
So it just didn't feel like a thing that was in
circulation. I feel like blimping
is a dead technology.
Yeah. Oh, it definitely is.
They got to be GTA Online
though. We used to fuck with blimps in GTA Online.
I've shot that blimp down
more times than there are actually blimps.
Well, you think about it like, is there a
blimp company?
Yeah, that's a great ask. Apparently, one
company owns all the main blimps like
the good year and the direct tv and it's all one company how much does it cost to buy a blimp
that's what i'm wondering or are you basically leasing the blimp out
from that company you got to make sure that you get your loan from the bank and not at the blimp
dealership is the move because they'll they'll jack your interest dude you know what i'm thinking here the uniform blimp
yeah blimping is old technology right they had that shit that's what the hindenburg was like
that shit's been around for 100 years clearly not hard you just need fabric and air so what if we
started a competing blimp company and then we just undercut their prices by 10%. Instantly we're fucking
blimp rich. What do you think will be cheaper?
Doing that or just buying the shittiest
blimp? Like the 25th
most sought after blimp.
But if they own it, they
own the means that they're going to fucking
overcharge you.
How much is it?
Let me look up blimp for sale.
Would you rather take one of those submarines down the Titanic
or ride in the shittiest blimp?
I would ride the blimp.
If, you know, worse comes to worse,
I'd dive out the window and parachute to safety.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Okay, sure.
Well, it's a better escape plan
than being a mile below the surface of the ocean.
Why are you going to do that?
Yeah, but clearly in the hypothetical,
the question wasn't
phrased in the scenario in which
you have a parachute and are able to jump out.
It's just trapped vehicles.
Oh, I don't know if I
trust them. Oh boy.
Oh boy.
So we can buy a blimp, and they're
not that expensive.
They're smaller.
We're talking about Airship Solutions,
who sells the world's smallest blimps.
You can get the indoor-outdoor model for $7,000.
It's the E13 blimp with the indoor and outdoor gondola.
Fins with a choice color of 40 to choose from
for both indoor and outdoor.
It's got a hole with three standard colors
or a combination of three standard colors.
Any PMS can be matched for non-standard at a cost.
ACDC digital battery charger,
hole repair kit.
These are tiny little handheld blimps.
They're still as big as a person.
You gotta start somewhere.
You gotta be able to drive the blimp from the inside.
You gotta start somewhere. cheapest you take inner boy we take we
roll up to fucking local sporting events we start around at halftime take all the
money we have put it into R&D and we make a bigger blimp and then we go to
bit we tackle bigger clients and we keep working our way up until suddenly we've
got a fucking we've got like the world's biggest.
We need a pair of binoculars on every seat for this blimp to look.
It's not that small. There's a picture of it
at a fucking sporting event.
Yeah, but it's
Okay. Are these like the
ones that would drop stuff? That's not
that small. Yeah, they're
pretty small. They drop
like shirts and stuff as they fly
around. It's gotta be
10 feet long at least.
I don't know about that.
You gotta start somewhere.
That is true. Does it just say
imagine this but bigger on the side for us?
Like what is our message?
There it is right there next to two dudes.
That's pretty big. That's clearly bigger than those
dudes. What if on the side we just write help us buy a bigger blimp and then there's a
qr code and people can exactly donate to the blimp fund the international blimp fund make this blimp
bigger so wait hang on so in order to get the blimp going you said we need all these binoculars
for people to see our tiny blimp but you you want to put a QR code on the side
so everyone has to zoom in all the way through binoculars.
I just think that the initial steps there
are going to be very tough.
I can tie this full circle.
You said Uniform is all about innovation.
We sell binoculars that can scan QR codes.
There you go, Andrew.
Wi-Fi binoculars.
There you go.
That's honestly, that's a CES
technology that I'm surprised isn't a thing
already.
Sounds like a
problem.
Sounds like a knockoff Mr. Beast video
where we leave like an unclaimed Venmo
wallet on a QR code, but put it on
a really high up balloon.
First to scan
it gets the money.
Oh my god! what do you find
the swarovski optic outdoor app allows you to transfer cell phone and uh uh transfer data from
your from your binoculars to your cell phone the live view feature turn the mode selection wheel makes it possible
to share the view
with up to four other smartphones
and use QR codes.
It might already exist.
Damn.
Shit.
I thought I was being innovative.
I mean, it's still pretty innovative.
There's a great
It's Always Sunny style edit
for this episode
of Jeff saying Unifarm
isn't about just slapping
their logo on things
and then immediately
cutting to face-by as a blimp.
Literally the only purpose buys a blimp literally
the only purpose of the only thing
you can do with a blimp yes you slap
your logo on it oh it sounds like we can drop t-shirts
from it oh yeah you do
that too did you have you never experienced that
in a sporting event like the little blimp that flies around
and drop shit except our blimp will
drop a bunch of toothpaste keys
and bread clips
and wrist pockets
they spend all of their entertainment budget on the blimp so it's just them dropping bread
clips on people as the prizes oh my god
25 blimps huh yeah 25 sort of sizable drivable blimps huh
yeah 25 sort of sizable
drivable blimps is what I've read but that also
could be horseshit because it was on
Wikipedia
I got a whole podcast based off Wikipedia
don't start talking shit about Wikipedia
okay I am I thought
I would tune into something
over the last week something that I've heard
about a few times but never watched.
It was Eric doing the wrestling commentary.
Oh, it's great, isn't it?
I went into it not knowing how Eric was going to approach it.
Is he going to be softly spoken and technical?
I tuned in.
That's an insane way to think
I would approach anything, but thank you.
That is also, Gavin has never seen wrestling.
Like, what are you?
Well, I know that's always like a screaming guy, but I think, I guess when I watched WWF,
it was like two screaming guys.
But yeah, I just, I'd never heard it.
So I was just, I didn't really know what to expect.
I tuned in on Twitch and was met with some guy like pelvic thrusting another guy in the ass.
Oh.
And then Eric go, I just hear Eric go, oh.
Yeah, you know, it's a cast of characters
and everyone has their different psychology
and the way they approach their matches.
And so what Gavin tuned into.
It's the most animated I've ever seen you in my life.
It's, you know, it's a lot of fun. And so what Gavin tuned into was the most animated I've ever seen you in my life.
It's, uh, you know, it's a lot of fun.
It's great doing all of the, uh, pro wrestling stuff because all these, some of these guys,
their goal is to be like, you know, like where I'm going to get on TV and I want to do this as a career.
And then there are other people that are like weekend warriors about it.
And the weekend warrior guys are the best ones.
Yeah, I feel like I saw some stuff
that couldn't be on TV.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did you get taken to Poundtown?
Did you see a Poundtown?
No, he has not seen the mayor of Poundtown yet.
That's maybe my favorite guy.
He is what a funny comedy guy just to do just to get beat up he goes in and
he tells people i'm gonna take you to pound town and then he just gets punched or thrown over the
top rope it's perfect it's perfect every time it's great but gavin i can't like you tuned in
and uh i got a text from you in the middle of it and i went oh that's crazy
i was just a screenshot and i just wrote i feel
like i'm watching a hate crime yeah it's you just do the commentary from home no no no no i go there
yeah i go to the arena we have like a little setup the uh the producer that put it together
did a really great job he has like a like an ATEM multicam setup and it's
like a whole thing. Yeah, it's fucking crazy.
And it's like, it's on zero dollars.
So it's a lot of fun. And
we do it like every Saturday. It's always a great time.
I really enjoy it. Thank you for tuning in.
It's great. Every time I've watched it.
Official AAPW is where
you can find us all over the place.
You want to do it, Gavin? You want to get in there?
No.
I'll film some
slow-mo, though. Yeah, you want to film some slow-mo
of maybe Dan getting thrown around
or somebody doing something? Yeah, why not?
I had a really weird
thought pop into my head that I just remembered,
Gavin, last night
that I wanted to ask you. This is a very strange
question, but it was making me laugh.
I was having a great time.
Have you ever filmed
like an elderly man
sprinting at you naked in slow motion?
What the fuck?
No.
Yeah, have you ever filmed that, dude?
No.
You know what?
No, I haven't.
Because I think it would be really funny.
I think that'd be a really great slow-mo.
Why?
I just feel like, because the skin is kind of loose,
and you don't really see people of a certain age sprint anymore,
I just think there's a lot of flopping that's going to happen,
and I think it would be really funny.
It's so simple, but I'd love to see a naked old dude
sprinting towards the camera at you from a distance.
A, who's's gonna want to be
filmed that way and b where are we gonna put that a nudists b great question but that's we'll figure
that out later the biggest problem is getting the old guy but i don't think that's hard i'm sure
that's not gonna be hard at all dude yeah A naked old guy, that's the easiest part.
You can't tell me it doesn't crack you up just imagining all the, seeing it in slow
motion, all the bops and the things bouncing around.
See, I've been in this situation before, though.
It's like, the idea of it's funny, and it's great, and it's like, oh, I'm so excited to
do that.
And then you're watching back the footage, and you're just like, oh.
No, I don't think, I think you would be laughing so hard as if they
were into it if they got the spirit of it i think that's hilarious i think i think you should direct
this piece i yeah i would i mean it's easy i don't think i think jeff could even direct this piece
i think he gets what the fuck is that how did that happen oh how! How did Jeff get... What happened? Jeff gets hit by the strayest bulls somehow.
No!
Jesus Christ!
Next to Gavin, I'm probably the...
I gotta be the best director in this group.
What the hell?
That's...
No, this is what I meant by that.
It feels to me like this would be a very jackass thing,
and I think you completely understand the spirit of something that is jackass-like.
I think you'd be absolutely capable of it.
Dumbest, shittiest motherfucker i know it was gavin going andrew i'm gonna make you watch this and andrew
going yeah jeff should have to watch this yeah also gavin didn't you tell me once that you filmed
for a commercial uh like sienna miller or some famous actress run or like a music video running
naked. And you said seeing anybody run naked in slow motion was one of the most disturbing things
you'd ever seen. It's not flattering that the Sienna Miller thing was that was a different
thing. That was when I've never been booed so much in my entire life. But we're filming some
music video and she was in like a gown Like hospital overalls
And did like a little lunge over some
Gurneys or something
But that was just like a hell of a view
Up her gown
And we were all watching it
Slow down
And I was like oh this is going to be pretty bad
For her because there's all these dudes on set
So I skipped it ahead past that bit and everyone yelled
He did the right thing it sounds like you definitely did the right thing
Oh, of course it is the right thing but it was it was a you know room full of
50 year old blokes who almost saw Sienna Miller's growler so they were really really pissed off. And when was this?
They were really, really pissed off.
And when was this?
About 15 years ago, maybe.
See, now one of those guys can be our naked old man sprinting at the camera.
All I took away from that story when you told me 15 years ago was that even the hottest people on Earth are ugly when they run.
And I was like, I just remember that.
Nah, she looked great.
Yeah.
But she wasn't naked.
She was wearing a gown.
I'm just saying.
Just think about it.
You control the Slow Mo Guys channel
however you want, but it's just something to consider.
If you say it's educational,
you can put it up on YouTube with nudity.
That's true.
So he should write some algebra on his chest or something?
I was just thinking the flops.
I was snickering toops as a snicker into myself
just how floppy everything would be
because they have to be kind of out of shape too
a kind of out of shape 70 year old man
sprinting with intent
right at the camera
would you do it when you're 70?
what?
like if you were 70 would you go for it?
oh hell yeah absolutely I would
mark it down
yeah okay sure I'll sign up for this we'll revisit this in 40 years or whatever If you were 70, would you go for it? Oh, hell yeah. Absolutely, I would. Mark it down. Yeah, okay.
Sure, I'll sign up for this.
We'll revisit this in 40 years or whatever.
Yeah, like 40 years.
Put in your calendar, Gavin.
2064?
Jeez.
And I don't want to tip anything off here,
but you might want to be a first member for that one.
That's going to be on the paper.
Get your subscription now park that subscription now because in 40 years you're gonna want to be ready
we're bringing the content jesus christ it would be fun to set up a video like that that time releases in 40 years
and it's that's kind of
like how was it like Mark Twain
when he died had it wrote
an autobiography but it said it couldn't be released until
after 100 years after he was dead or something
uh I think
I think something similar happened to J.D. Salinger where
he wrote like an additional three or four novels and then said that they
could only be released after he died that'd be
funny if we made a video and then just set the time release as far as possible out.
And just like 30 years from now, it just clicks on.
That's what made me come up with that thought.
And you saying that made me remember it was because Robert Rodriguez made a alcohol short documentary with John Malkovich that isn't supposed to come out until like 2070 something.
Oh, and really like
it's just yeah it's slated and it's like essentially the idea being like everybody's
gonna be dead by the time that that worked on this by the time it releases and I just in my
head I could see John Malkovich doing some creepy weird shit that you don't like everyone's waiting
for this film and then it just turned out to be John Malkovich goateeing for 30 seconds laughing at you that people are waiting for
out of this vault.
John Malkovich admitting to multiple murders
across the world.
Yeah, it's like the jinx.
He's just burping and admitting to killing people.
We thought it was a truck driver.
It was John Malkovich the whole time.
He's the smiley face killer.
What was that with the burping? He just fucking was a truck driver. It was John Malkovich the whole time. He's the smiley face killer. What was that with the burping?
He just fucking was involuntary.
Just like a fucking guilty tick, I think.
Now he's dead.
Oh, I have a clip.
Oh, what's your clip?
It's from episode 191.
That's one of the ad reads.
Oh, fuck off.
Fuck off. Eat my dick. Respectfully.'s one of the ad reads. Oh, fuck off. Fuck off.
Eat my dick.
Respectfully.
You go do an ad read.
I'm going to have to put
my therapy hat back on.
These things are getting
a little spicy.
Why don't you do the ads
this week, Gavin?
Ad, here we go.
Great programs for,
and it's really easy
to pick up.
The other thing that they do,
which is so awesome,
is they provide
pronunciation checks.
Of all the words?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's how I came out aggressive.
That was...
That was so fucking funny.
Oh, fuck.
I knew it was coming.
Oh, man.
Dude, come on.
Oh, God damn.
Did you know you did that in the moment and then thought, ah, fuck it, nobody will notice?
Or did you know you did that in the moment and then thought, ah, fuck it, nobody will notice? Or did you find out later?
It was a thing where I was,
if I'm going to be completely honest,
I was in the midst of a payday heist
while recording that ad read,
and I fumbled it.
I was trying to pick safety deposit boxes,
and I fumbled it, and I went nuts.
Wait, wait, wait.
Was this during our payday heist?
No, I played some payday by myself later.
I thought we would have heard him if it was us.
That's what I thought too.
I was trying to think.
I'm like, was there any point where Andrew was muted
for like a long time when we recorded payday?
He should do all of his...
Andrew, you should do all your ad reads.
Next one should be in the middle of the final circle of Warzone.
Okay.
How many, how many, uh, how many players is Payday 3?
Four.
Four players?
Yeah.
Yeah, we talked about it last time.
We had, like, a lot of fun when we played Payday.
Those videos will come out eventually.
We had a lot of fun, and then we talked about, about you know if there's a world where you know we have our four but then maybe people get swapped in and out for uh i don't know about
lowest performing member of the group or uh people that blow it uh so you're so what we're saying is
there is a there's a a group of four for payday which i'm not in i understand i didn't make that
recording so that's fine. That's fair
to me. There's always different groups, right?
That's how this kind of works. But there's
a group of four for payday. However,
there's a potential system in play
where the lowest performing member
gets relegated for a video
and replaced. Just saying.
Just a potential.
Who do you think could have been chucked?
Oh, boy.
You know, honestly, I'm going to leave it to the videos to come out.
You guys let us know when the payday videos come out.
Leave a comment.
Let us know who you think would be relegated of the group of four.
I'm very curious to see what the chat says.
I can't wait to find out.
I think that could even work outside of,
because we're just sort of going through,
like we do a heist onto the next one.
I think it'd be a lot of fun for us
to try to perfect every heist,
and maybe like while we're doing those runs,
factor in who fails the most,
and then whoever fails the most
is cut from the crew for the next night,
because you wouldn't bring that guy back
if this was a real heist group.
And they have to do the ad read. That's group. And they have to do the ad read.
That's true.
And they have to do the ad read.
I will say Payday 2 was a great game
and we got a lot of really good content
out of it for Achievement Hunter.
So I think it probably stands to reason
that 3 would warrant a few videos as well.
Especially if you guys are having fun playing it.
Oh, it's so much fun.
I can't believe how much fun I had.
I cannot believe how much fun I had playing that game.
I feel like we have too much to play. Like, I really,
really, really want to play Pal World. I think
there'd be a couple of videos. I think Trucks
could be, just based on the audience alone,
I think Trucks could be endless
videos, it feels like. I think, to be honest, we're
still, well, I feel like I am
in the mindset that's
similar to the old style Let's Play
where we would just record all the time and stuff would come
out all the time. It's taken me a lot to get similar to the old style Let's Play where we would just record all the time and stuff would come out all the time.
It's taken me a lot to get used to the cadence of recording less often and putting less out.
How do you mean?
Because I think I agree with you.
I guess I was just used to doing it every day
and videos would come out every day.
Yeah, you definitely get used to the pace
and like when we were in that treadmill
and it definitely feels weird to go like half speed again.
If we want to add another let's play recording day to the calendar,
I'm all for it.
I'm not complaining and I don't,
and I'm not advocating for that.
And I don't say I mind it.
I'm just saying that I agree with Gavin.
It is weird to be doing it again and be doing it at such a slower pace,
I guess,
be the way to put it.
Yeah.
And not good or bad.
I just,
it's just interesting.
It definitely feels like there was like, I don't just a different vibe a whole different world yeah because i feel
like i go weeks where i feel like we should make a video and then we we just don't get around to it
there's just so much to play yeah we before like let's play even really started i had a an evening
where i went oh fuck like what are we what are the video ideas gonna be like do
we have enough for a year and i wrote out like 60 just video ideas and i don't think we've done
more than five of what i wrote at that time i would never worry about running out of video game
ideas no i don't think that's gonna be an issue for us yeah maybe maybe running out of good ideas
but definitely not ideas that happened long ago
that's fine we've already dealt with that problem um yeah i think would be great as long as you guys
are open to it because it's like for me so much of it is making sure it doesn't become a burden to
do because right now it's so much fun as long as i don't have to invent and build a game in Minecraft and then force four to six assholes who are constantly trying to undermine the point of the video and the competition and run them through it.
As long as I don't have to do that, I'm fine.
I'll do any of it.
Well, I'm so excited for what we've been doing in that field and as soon as we finish like it's
always like oh i want to do more which is the perfect feeling it is the best feeling to end on
yeah i think we could increase slightly because i'm definitely not anywhere near the point where
it's like oh man too much too much yeah like maybe one more day that is not like like maybe
a 45 minute type window to just do
like one more video i think would be great yeah i agree because it's like i want to do because
selfishly i want to do trucks constantly like right i'd like to do trucks every week and i
think that the audience would like that based on what i'm reading uh but to do trucks every week
really cuts down on what else we can do yeah it's weird so it's like it feels weird it's basically
become the truck channel.
I feel like there's not a lot of experimentation time
either.
I'd be excited to do the
blowing people off parachutes with bomb drones.
But that's not something
we'll quickly get in like 40 minutes.
We'd need to actually
be prepared to spend
maybe like 90 to 2 hours trying to get it.
It's tough with our current slot.
It is, but it sounds like maybe we'll look at it after this recording,
figure something out for that.
Because that'd be awesome.
Any excuse to spend more time playing games with everyone here?
I'm all for it.
Let's figure it out.
Can I tell you something really dumb
if we're talking about pron uh, uh, pronunciations of, uh,
issues.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Something I didn't share with you guys.
And this has been something that happened a while ago.
And I realized to understand the distance of time,
it was probably like three or four weeks where I thought this,
we had a,
uh,
for the merch meeting, uh uh near the end of the
year in december we had like end of year merch meeting where we evaluated like the sales of
everything and how stuff is doing and all that stuff and looking at numbers and whatnot and i
completely misinterpreted what a specific word meant and uh it completely shifted my perspective of how things were going for us
there is a section titled returns and that is that section is items that have been returned
and the cost of returning those items whenever return was stated i thought that was the profit
return of whatever those items were. So literally,
because the returns are always in the negative,
and I thought for weeks of like,
wait, we didn't,
we're negative in everything?
Every single thing is negative?
How is this happening?
How are the Gerplers negative?
I felt really dumb.
Three weeks later.
That is an exceptionally dumb
way to look at it.
It was.
One of the all-time dumb moments for me
is realizing when I was looking at the sheet later,
oh, this is the product returns,
not actual return.
And was it like you didn't know you didn't know?
So it's not like you could have thought to ask.
I thought F*** Face was shutting down in the next week
was my walk away.
It's like,
if this is,
if,
if everything,
if the things that are selling out immediately and have a lot of
enthusiasm for,
we're losing money still on what this is,
this is over.
And I'm very sad about this.
I used to struggle a lot,
especially at school where I would freak out on the spot.
If I didn't understand
something and i would just not ask and i would i would feel like too much time has passed and then
i would have to try and figure out what the teacher meant like i remember i was doing i had to do like
a newspaper it was like a magazine cover i had to like design that for media and uh i had the
picture there and then i was like showing the teacher at the end. And, uh, she was like, yeah,
that's great. That's great.
Uh,
it's great framing.
Um,
obviously it needs the copy.
And I was like,
Oh yeah,
yeah,
definitely.
Of course it needs the copy.
And then I just walked away.
I was like,
what is she talking about?
And I couldn't,
I didn't know how to Google either.
Cause it was like,
well,
I don't know if Google was about,
but I couldn't,
I couldn't even figure out how to search it online.
Cause it would just bring up other mentions of copy. I couldn't figure out that she meant the about, but I couldn't even figure out how to search it online because it would just bring up other mentions of copy.
I couldn't figure out that she meant the text.
But I sat there.
I probably wasted two whole lessons trying to figure out what she was talking about.
I used to do that all the time.
Now I just ask the question straight to your face.
Yeah, that's the better way to be for sure.
This is fun.
What's this picture doing?
Oh, that's nothing important important I just Emily sent that
to me she was looking through the wedding photos and it was
just a photo of me Eric and
Gavin at the wedding that's a rare picture
of Eric and his invisible wife
well yeah my arms my arms
around her and we're all laughing
and having fun but Jeff is concerned
about her so I'm just I'm like
what
I'm glad it was clarified that it's just what I thought it
was Eric going like and the rat was this big and Gavin thinks that's great and Jeff is like rats
really shouldn't be that big I don't know that's the size of a small blimp let's throw a logo on
that rat do you think that's the closest your hand has been to my penis yet almost certainly not like you know what I'll say yet yeah I've been all over
that thing I mean you flicked my penis to the point where you've been closer to my penis than my penis was.
Yes.
Yes.
Because you've like dislodged it.
Oh, my God.
That's true.
Oh, man.
Hey, hey, you know what, though?
It's fucking friendship, man.
That's what we do.
Oh, yeah.
I'm here for your penis.
You're here for mine.
Forever.
Is this what we're wrapping up on?
Dude, it's the bond of friendship.
I feel like you've touched mine more, but I've seen yours more.
You've definitely seen mine more.
This is such a weird way to go out on this one, guys.
It's a pretty weird way to come in, to be honest.
Oh, man. I'm so glad today went well my notes my notes for this fucking episode are uh
do you ever mix cereal that was the only note i had
wow we're getting guys this might be one of the last 10 episodes of this show
oh no the returns were real.
The returns on this episode are going to be real.
Brother.
No, I was going to ask because all I had was a little bit of Chex and a little bit of Fruity Pebbles.
And I was like, I want fucking cereal.
So I mixed it together and it was great.
And I started thinking we should combine cereals more because this is an awesome, unexpected combination.
Chex and Fruity Pebbles.
I'll have to experiment with that.
That was my insight today.
If you could send an item
back through time
to you as a kid,
what item would blow your dick off the most?
Loaded gun.
Whoa.
Yeah, I mean, that might be it, huh?
Hot dog cannon.
Too much roll for life.
I was thinking about this the other day,
actually. I was thinking about doing a soul ride
on it. Sometimes when I drive around,
I was on my way to meet Eric. We were doing a
special recording. And sometimes when
I'm driving around, I like to pretend it's like the 1950s
and I'm seeing everything around me for the first time
and what would stand out to me, you know?
That's like one step away from having one of those gummy Coke bottles
and pretending you're a giant.
Yeah, I guess so.
I guess it is.
Just drive around being like,
what would stand out to somebody from the 1950s?
Because a lot of the streets you drive by and you'd be like,
I just see houses that look about the same.
But Lime Scooters got me.
How would I explain Lime Scooters to somebody from the 50s?
And be like, yeah, it's just that you rent it.
And they're like, who do I rent it from?
And you're like, nobody.
You just point your phone at it.
And they're like, a fucking phone from my house?
How does that make sense?
And then you got to explain cell phones.
And then you got to explain computers and online transactions.
And also this magic thing will turn on without being plugged in anywhere and just start to be operational.
And I was thinking, man, that would be a really hard thing to wrap your head around.
So I guess I'm going to say steps removed.
So many steps removed.
Right.
So I'm going to say it would blow my dick off to see a lime scooter.
I think just handing myself a Nintendo Switch would completely sever my pain.
Yeah, that's probably about it.
Yeah.
I mean, that would definitely be like,
this is where I wanted the world to go.
I can't believe we got there.
For me, and this is like, once again,
video game field, and it doesn't seem amazing,
but I, as a kid, played like six hours of Kingdom Hearts,
never saved, the system got turned off,
and I just never revisited it
again being able to show
how like a modern Xbox works where I could
turn the system back on and it's just exactly
where I paused and that being the way
for like every single player game I played
would blow my mind dude quick
resume oh my yeah like quick resume
is an idea of like I don't even have to go
through the menu it's literally where I paused
it's crazy. That would
blow my mind. I think conversely,
the internet is way more annoying now
than it was when I first started using it.
The internet
seemed to make a real turn.
It used to show you exactly
what you wanted, and now the
internet just shows you what it wants
on every website.
Pretty much.
I'm not interested. the internet just shows you what it wants on every website yeah pretty much and i'm just so
i'm not interested do you remember voice masking jeff on the original xbox uh no i don't i mean i
not specifically no it's so sad i was talking to gavin about it he had no idea what i was talking
about i didn't i realized my research of it. I remember being in Halo 2.
Like that was a feature
for Xbox Live
is that you could have
a voice mask
and you sounded like
a muffled Darth Vader.
Like it sounded like shit.
But I guess certain
original Xbox games
had their own
different unique
voice masking options
to them.
And that is something
that went away
that I would love
to see come back.
You know what I miss
that video games
had for a little while?
I think it was
the original Xbox when I would play Burnout or not burnout paradise i'm sorry that'd
be a three that's a xbox 360 game but uh the burnout two or whatever it was burnout revenge
or whatever you could rip a cd burn up maybe it's take them you could rip a cd a music cd to your xbox and then that or a couple and then you could
go into burnout and you could play the radio station you could just put your music and so
like i had this album i that i was listening to all the time from this band star market that i
used to love and i would just listen to that while i played burnout and i remember thinking like this
is i'm living in the future right now this is this is gonna change how I play
video games for the rest of my life and then I never played another video game that had that
again I don't think ever after that the 360 I was ripping discs for like audio discs and playing it
as music the background instead games I'd play I do that all the time I play like Gears of War
it was awesome I think that the GTA 3 era of GTA games,
you could do that on PC.
You could just have a folder with your own radio station.
That was it.
Playing PC games then.
I remember the Xbox music player for the original Xbox.
Like that was supposed to be cool.
Where it's just the track listing
and then a light that would like bounce to the music.
Oh yeah, like the visualizer.
Yeah, like it was a different built-out functionality
for playing audio. Do you remember when navigating
simple menus would be like,
shwoing, shwoing, shwoing?
The blades.
It's like you're playing Bushido Blade.
Well, Xbox had like a nuclear
reactor thing to it, too, of like,
and you're just like, I want to put
subtitles on. Like, I want to, I'm just changing a basic just like i want to put subtitles on like i want
to i'm just changing a basic setting we don't need to like explode the xbox to do this you sent me a
video of of the guy testing out the voice filters and i've got to say i really rose-colored glasses
what xbox live used to sound like i in my head it just kind of sounds like discord but you hear it now
it's like oh it's like nick in the mask yeah
what's another what's another thing that would blow your dick off
that what no end this what if this podcast kept going podcast podcast would blow your dick off yeah i found podcasts pretty young though
this is am radio but you can listen to it whenever this is not you know what blows my
dick off about podcasts is the first podcast i listened to was in like 2006 the lost show had
a podcast and it was like damon lindelof and brian uh whatever his the other guy um they would do a
weekly podcast.
And that was my introduction to it. And I just thought
it's so wild that of all the things,
I don't know who at ABC thought that was
a good idea, but they were ahead of their
time as far as what shows should be
doing. I think my first one was the Ricky
Gervais podcast.
And that was just their radio
show Adaptive, right? Or did they
actually do a podcast for no they
basically quit xfm and then started the podcast with uh with kp god damn i have no idea what the
first podcast i ever listened to would have been do you think you made a podcast before you listened
to one probably probably honestly yeah yeah i probably i mean i probably listened to some for
reference but i probably was like this trash. And then
yeah, I bet I
didn't really get into podcasts until the
pandemic as a as a like a fan.
You know, I guess a little
bit before the pandemic. I really around Emily. Emily
got me into podcasts. She was
that's like her main form of entertainment.
I'd say, huh?
I still think it'd blow my dick off if I sent
me an old me a podcast of me.
Like a f*** face podcast.
Trying to understand what I was doing
in the future, who these people are,
how that's distributed, who's listening to it,
how I got the call to f*** face. Yeah, why you're doing
like a weird therapist bit at the beginning.
Like, holy shit, I went to college
and I became a therapist. That's awesome.
I sound really stupid.
Well. My notes have...
Why?
Why are we doing this?
End this.
Just end.
This is the end.
This is the end of the podcast.
Well, hold on, Eric.
I'm taking care of it.
I guess it's about time to listen to your notes, Gav.
What do you have in there?
I guess we'll find out next week.
Oh, no.
Oh.
Ooh. Ooh.
Ooh.
Cliffhanger.
The premise, not the movie.
Just to clarify.
Felt needed.
Hey, guys.
Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face.
Patton got some support.
It's too wide. Do not go to thein got some support. It's too wide.
Do not go to the chiropractor.
It's Walmart Gavin.
Gavin won't stop.
Jeff keeps bleeding.
We've got fuzzy new merch.
And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil.
All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face. We'll see you next time.