F**kface - Buying a Mini Blimp // Naked Floppy Running [193]

Episode Date: February 14, 2024

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew start the episode off with some mellow check ins and talk about Andrew and Gavin’s Google Maps game, Does It Do? Sunglasses debacle, Geoff’s tone shift, Trucks, Palworld, ...Sodastream carbonated juice, unifarm innovation, exploding Soda Stream canisters, explosive colors, using compressed air on an Xbox, Andrew’s vacuuming frequency, if blimping is a dead technology, buying a mini blimp, Eric’s wrestling commentary, naked old men flopping vs. Sienna Miller running in a gown, John Malkovich burping, Andrew’s ad read clip, playing Payday 3, negative returns on Gurplers, being there for each other's penis’, what would blow your mind if you were from the 1950’s, and more. Sponsored by Katos Koffee http://katoskoffee.com code FACE10 , Shopify http://shopify.com/face , Füm https://tryfum.com/FACE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey, and with me, as always, I gotta be honest with you, it's the most talented bunch of boys and girls in the whole podcasting industry. Clearly, I'm talking about Andrew Panton from all the way up in Vancouver Island, Canada. Andrew, I have to ask you real fast. Are your ankles strong today? Oh, 100%. 100% ankles.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Are your teeth firm? Teeth are fine. Well, yeah, they're okay. Knee is fucked, but we're fine. We're good. Well, maybe we can get into the knee a little bit, but I got to say. Oh, we did. The Swiffer issue. Still recovering, but it's fine. Right, right, they're okay. Knee is fucked, but we're fine. We're good. Well, maybe we can get into the knee a little bit, but I gotta say... Oh, we did. The Swiffer issue. Still recovering, but it's fine. Right, right, right. So you're still just working through that.
Starting point is 00:00:50 Well, I hope it's a swift recovery, not to be funny there. Gavin, my best friend in the whole world. Wunderkind, filming extraordinaire. You were far more successful in your other career as a slow-mo guy. How are you doing today, man? How, how you been? Firm teeth.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Good, good. Were you, were there, were your teeth in question? Nope. They were not on the injury report. Now I hear lately you haven't, you haven't been sleeping well. Yeah, there's nothing new there though. I mean, I'm a shit sleeper. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:01:24 Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe maybe have you ever tried any homeopathic remedies uh like huffing a bunch of shite well there's probably a healthier way to to express that but yeah there might be some solutions you could look into maybe yoga or maybe i know a lot of people find uh they transcendental meditation helps them with their sleep. But it's not just you guys and me here. It's also Eric, producer extraordinaire, Nick, and Gracie. You guys are somewhere back there in the weeds making everything happen, keeping us on our toes, as it were. Hello. How are you doing today, Gracie?
Starting point is 00:01:57 How's your dog? My dog is asleep on the wooden floor, but she did pee and poop in the kitchen this morning. That could be a sign of distress or illness. You want to take a... I think it's a sign of her losing bowel control at her old age. Oh, that's... I'm sorry to hear that.
Starting point is 00:02:15 I must admit, I went through that with two dogs recently. It's heartbreaking. It's okay. She looks great doing it. I'll be honest with you. I'm going to have you in my prayers. I'm going to be thinking about you. You and the dog every night. Gracie's dog is a model. It's stunning and perfect. Don't be honest with you. I'm going to have you in my prayers. I'm going to be thinking about you. You and the dog.
Starting point is 00:02:25 Gracie's dog is a model. It's stunning and perfect. Don't say anything about her. She's a model. She got tapped to be a model. Wow. For what? Like a canine incontinence model? Well, maybe a little bit.
Starting point is 00:02:42 She modeled for a pet supplement brand. Did they Photoshop Tim Allen's eyes on it? No. She has pretty little eyes. Non-human like eyes. Hey, Nick. How's the Bambino?
Starting point is 00:02:59 How's your family doing? They're doing great, man. We're having a good time. I don't know, man, but I'm having a good time. I don't know what Jeff's doing. I'm so glad to hear it. I'm so glad to hear that everybody seems to be doing good. Oh, they're doing great, man. We're having a good time. I don't know, man, but I'm having a good time. I don't know what Jeff's doing. I'm so glad to hear it. I'm so glad to hear that everybody seems to be doing well, thriving and surviving, even though there's clearly some difficulties in all of our lives.
Starting point is 00:03:12 You guys don't seem to be letting it get you down. You're maintaining a positive attitude. How are you, Jeff? I want you to know I appreciate that. Well, I'm doing really well, too. Thanks for asking, Gavin. I got no complaints, you know. I have the new puppy myself, so that can be a little bit of a handful,
Starting point is 00:03:26 but I'm working through it. What do you guys want to talk about today? I would just like to make an update for my introduction. I'd like to be referred to as the cock winner, Andrew Panton, from now. We can do that. Going forward. We can absolutely do that. The big cock win last week.
Starting point is 00:03:39 It's a great trophy. Thank you so much for that. Referred to as the Canadian cock winner? Whatever, any variation, as long as it's included. The Vancouver cock winner? Oh. Could be. It makes me uneasy that I never know what a recording is going to be like.
Starting point is 00:03:56 Yeah? Let's get into that. What do you think that comes from, Gavin? That's interesting. I think you. All right. strong gavin that's interesting i think you all right when you say me in specific like you never you're doing oh is it because we don't we don't always go over notes ahead of time to let me never know like what we said ahead of time so i agree it is always a bit of a mystery what we're going to walk into but that's i think that's part of the fun of the of what we do here
Starting point is 00:04:23 guys right guys and girls i would say it's more to do with the consistency of the people interesting why don't we peel back those layers well i feel like i'm i'm single layered uh i i enter pretty much the same every week it's it's quite predictable i think and to you you see value in predictability is what i'm surmising from that statement would that be uh would that be correct i just want to be a reliable constant in the lives of my friends well if that is if that is your stated goal let me tell you gavin you have hit a home run every day that we've been friends you you definitely you definitely uh have achieved that over and over and over again a bastion of uh of steadfastness is what i would i would refer to you as huh i can i can i talk about something or
Starting point is 00:05:21 talk about uh consistency and and all that stuff and being a good friend? Because Gavin, I mean, it's really, it's my fault, but Gavin has been a consistent pain in my ass for like the last two and a half, three months, and he doesn't even know. Oh, no. He put me in a nightmare of my own doing, Jeff. Oh, no. I'm so sorry to hear that. No, it's okay. It's fine.
Starting point is 00:05:42 You don't need, that's a little much. It's okay. And Gavin doesn't know he's done this, right? He doesn't know. I bet you Gavin has forgot that he's even done this to me. I bet Gavin's feeling really confused and guilty right now and doesn't know why. So let's get to the bottom of this so he doesn't have to drag that feeling. I don't even remember how it started.
Starting point is 00:05:58 But I had the thought of, I wonder if I could find a place in Austinin and if gavin would be able to find it on google we're talking about google map stuff at oh i remember this yeah yeah so i picked a random spot on google maps and sent it to gavin be like yeah it's gonna take him forever to find this and gavin determined the location within about 10 minutes maybe And it turns out that the place... Well, I've been there before. Yeah, the place I had picked, Gavin had been to twice. It was a random coffee shop that I picked. And he had been there on two separate occasions and he instantly found one.
Starting point is 00:06:35 And then he said to me, do you want one? And I said, sure. You know, like I live in a much smaller place. It'd be easier for me. So Gavin sent me a photo of a house and I have not been able to find this fucking house for like three months now and i've been roaming the streets
Starting point is 00:06:51 and google maps sometimes i just go for a drive and i just drive around seeing if i can because it's a very uh noticeable house it's it's like i would recognize it immediately the place you live much smaller than austin so much smaller, as I said. It's a lot smaller of a community, so I thought, whatever, like, yeah, I'll do one, and I'm sure I'll recognize it. But the angle and everything he picked, it's so hard to tell. It looks like it'd be so many places. Obviously not gonna
Starting point is 00:07:16 share a photo of this house, but I have been haunted by this stupid house that Gavin sent, and I thought that I would be the one making him on a chase for a while. Took him ten minutes. I'm three months in not any closer I'm nearing the point of having to make like a grid of the entire city
Starting point is 00:07:32 and like marking off what streets I've been on now is this a single family home from what you can tell two story like two story like a freestanding yeah okay interesting interesting it it is it feels like something you should be able to remember or recognize and i have no idea where it is but
Starting point is 00:07:52 i've been i've been roaming the internet streets whenever i have free time looking for this house and it is so annoying that i haven't found it yet i can understand how that'd be pretty perplexing uh gavin this house it is it within the the confines of vancouver island he's looking he's looking in the right place he just it's kind of like finding a needle in a haystack it sounds like but it shouldn't be it should it's like it's like a needle in a few strands of grass is more i'd say the analogy is definitely harder because i just picked some house which is definitely a place you wouldn't have been unless i got really lucky. Whereas you gave me a much more easy one. Because I could tell
Starting point is 00:08:27 by the look of it that it was pretty modern in Austin. And then I realized I'd been there. And then I think I sent you a picture of me and Trevor there. Yeah, I think you did. It was annoying. And I felt like you had done a magic trick.
Starting point is 00:08:43 How cool would it be if you sent Gavin a picture of you and Trevor at this house that would be something to shoot for huh think about for sure Andrew do you remember when I exported that fruit-throwing video for you without audio and then I exported my next actual video yes I didn't have audio. Do you remember the text I sent you? No. I feel like we go over that text every episode. I'm surprised you don't remember it. Well, I sent you a text,
Starting point is 00:09:13 and you thought I was talking about something else. What did I think you were talking about? Well, I was hoping you would remember, to be honest. Let me go back to the message. I don't remember any of this. You don't remember when I said, like, you've screwed me? Oh, yeah, yeah, I was hoping you would remember, to be honest. Let me go back to the message. I don't remember any of this. You don't remember when I said, like, you've screwed me? Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember that.
Starting point is 00:09:30 Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, I know what we're talking about now. What did you think I was talking about? Uh, well, we were... Did it ever come into play, Gracie, what I was talking about? Damn, Gracie, is it on this? Because there was a possibility. Remember the thing I dictated for a long time
Starting point is 00:09:50 ago yeah did that ever happen because there was a possibility on the second day that they could have arrived and that's the last I heard about it wait I need you to slack me okay I'm just we're gonna skip this part.
Starting point is 00:10:06 I'll just go right into it. So we did, you guys did, does it do? And it was sponsored by shady rays. And at the time, I found it. I found the message. Yeah. I thought, cause you said you fucked me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:17 And you said you look like the coolest kid in third grade. Yes. Cause like an hour later you said, what do you think i did and i explained what i was talking about and because you said disregard my original response to this conversation and i realized now i never followed up on what the goddamn you were talking about now i know what you're talking about and andrew it didn't end up happening oh that's sad that's too bad so shady race kind enough to sponsor does it do and it was you two were asked what sunglasses you would like to wear during the video to do it
Starting point is 00:10:52 but i think it was around the time of your wedding jeff so neither of you were around and i said if they don't answer you i will do this i'll i'll pick for them and so i picked you a really cool i think was like the Falcon or something Jeff I picked you some cool pair of glasses and then I picked Gavin something that reminded me of like what I would have thought was really cool in third grade and looked ridiculous and you
Starting point is 00:11:15 sent me without context the day of the first shoot you fucked me which perfectly aligned with what I was going for because I just thought even though they're a great looking pair of sunglasses, they would not, I think, fit with your personality or look at all. So that's what I thought you were talking about.
Starting point is 00:11:33 And then I messaged Gracie about it and she let me know that the sunglasses didn't actually arrive that I picked, that you're using different ones. In which case, I had no idea. Then I had to circle back to you to figure out what I had done to you, which I still don't think
Starting point is 00:11:47 was really my fault. That's a big kerfuffle, guys. I think we straightened it out. Glad we got to the bottom of that. The pair of glasses that Emily took the other day after the break show were one of the pairs. I assumed that that's what they were
Starting point is 00:12:03 when she took them. Looked good on her, though. Emily looked cool as fuck with those sunglasses. Those things were rad as shit. They were great. Hell yeah. That's a lot of expletives from Eric, but you can tell he means what he's saying.
Starting point is 00:12:15 You gotta appreciate that. Goddamn right. Yeah! All right, I like Nick chiming in. So does the audience, Nick. You're an audience favorite, and clearly for good reason. That's awesome. Let's take a quick poll of all the talent on the show real quick.
Starting point is 00:12:32 Just, I have a couple of questions. Okay. One, does anyone think that Nick has worn the mask so far this year? No, I don't think so. Okay. No. Second question. How are we feeling about the Jeff in this episode?
Starting point is 00:12:48 It's weird because it was pretty normal about 25 minutes ago. It is a dramatic. We just recorded a bunch of stuff. And Jeff, the tone has shifted in the past which I really I'm wondering if something happened in the 15 minutes between when we stopped and started this or Jeff was alone or if this is a calculated
Starting point is 00:13:14 move going into this episode now is that is that just thrown out to the group as a whole or would you like me to address I feel like that was more pointed at you. Okay, gotcha. Well, I'm not sure,
Starting point is 00:13:29 if I'm being completely honest with you, Andrew, and I try to be at all opportunity. I'm trying to be honest with myself, trying to be honest with everybody. I think it's an important trait in a human being to have. I don't, I guess I don't know what you mean. If there's a difference in tone or a shift,
Starting point is 00:13:47 I would personally attribute it to the fact that the previous content we were filming was video game content, and then this is podcast content. And so maybe there's some sort of a... Maybe there's something in me that I don't even recognize that's unconscious where I switch roles slightly,
Starting point is 00:14:03 or maybe I just have... There's been a slight shift in gear I think but I'm not looking at anything I'm just like using my mind theater of the mind right that's what we always say about the podcast yeah and so um yeah I guess I don't I guess I just I guess I'm not aware of it if it's there yeah I would say it's uh you've shifted down it to use truck the trucks terminology I think you're getting out of the mud is what it sounds like speaking of getting out of the mud can i tell you guys i played trucks last night for a couple hours it was the first time we'd played in over a week it uh it we just hadn't
Starting point is 00:14:34 been able to sync up and get together in a while and then it wasn't working it was it was real bad the last few times we tried but with the new dlc coming out i thought let's give it a shot you know let's give it the old college try even even though I didn't really go to college. And it was working. It worked great. And we played for hours and hours last night. And I got so stuck in the mud and I got so unstuck in the mud. And we did a bunch of missions.
Starting point is 00:14:54 And it was just a great time. Just a great time. Really happy that I got to do it. You guys been playing any fun video games lately? It's funny that you mentioned that, Jeff. There is a certain video game that is huge right now called pow world everybody's playing pow world it's all over the place uh i haven't tried it yet and one of the main reasons i haven't played it yet despite almost
Starting point is 00:15:18 everybody i know playing it is you brought up in our group text, maybe a week ago at this point, has anyone here played pal world to which Gavin and I said no. And then you replied to that by saying, maybe don't, maybe it's a great first impression video. So despite everybody I know playing pal world, I decided I'm not going to play with my friends outside of the recordings or anything. I'm just,
Starting point is 00:15:43 this is, I'm going to save it because jeff thinks it would be a great first impressions video and then we synced up this morning to record content and immediately i hear from jeff about all of the countless hours of power he's been playing and then you can't get enough of it and we need to get in on this and i quietly went you son of a bitch i have not been playing it because of your suggestion of it being your first view and all you're doing is playing power world at the moment
Starting point is 00:16:10 okay well first of all if you'd allow me the space to respond of course I appreciate you giving me the space I uh listen it's just it's my space right now we'll give you all the space in the world when it's your time I think that's only fair uh i i gotta i gotta be honest with you i feel a
Starting point is 00:16:30 little bit of ire from you and and that that has my hackles up a bit and i'm trying i'm trying not to to let that get the better of me but uh i guess i i guess i would say i stand by what i said in that i always find the best kind of content is when we can discover something for the first time on camera. It always creates the best possibility, as it were. Now, I didn't mean please don't play the game for the next week. I just meant if you guys haven't played it already, let's get in there and film a video whenever is convenient for you all so that we can capture that first moment, because I think it could be magical, right? And then I've been playing. Yeah, I've been playing yeah I've been playing and I have been playing and I'll continue to play and here's why because I
Starting point is 00:17:09 need to be a a good steward in this game I need to be able to lead you guys through it and understand imagine if we all were confused about trucks nobody would get anywhere I had to put a couple hundred hours into trucks so that I could understand how to present it to you guys and how to help you along and And so I was kind of approaching Pal World in the same way. But by all means, if you would like to play it on your own, outside of video, I'm not trying to hold you back.
Starting point is 00:17:33 At all. But I would love to play it with you. You guys are my best friends in the whole world. And I would love to play my current obsession with you guys all the time, if possible. In your defense, I went back and I looked at the text, and you never stated
Starting point is 00:17:48 that you hadn't played it before. I just made that assumption. And I thought it was just very funny, because I've been actively avoiding it. Oh, you assumed, yeah, I didn't realize you assumed that. You know what? That's a lack of communication on my part. I'm gonna write that down, I'm gonna put a pin in that,
Starting point is 00:18:04 and I'm gonna work on that in the future. That's something that I can do to improve our relationship. I'm really excited for when we get to Trucks 2 because I've been playing a lot of Trucks, and I'm out of the mud now. I think it's going to... The jump in my truck ability from video 2 to video 3 is vast. I'm ready for it.
Starting point is 00:18:24 I can't go any further with this dumb thing. I gotta stop. I wore myself out. I appreciate that. I did it as fucking long as I could. I'm losing my life so much to pay attention to it. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:18:40 I feel like if I was lying, if I was Harvest on Noah, I would have fallen asleep. Once I fucking started, I couldn't stop and then I could tell and here's the thing it was I appreciated everybody rolling with it and it was getting under Gavin's skin and that just
Starting point is 00:18:51 kept it going I couldn't stop because of Gavin like every time every time I got close to winding down he would sigh or go and then I was like ah you just bought another five minutes you little shit yeah I didn't know what was happening but but I know you, so I was like, I just can't react negatively to this in any way.
Starting point is 00:19:08 Eventually, this is going to change. The tide will turn. That sigh must have been completely involuntary because it just flew out of me. I was like, how much of the episode is going to burn for this bit? I wanted to see if I could present a kinder, softer, gentler, more inclusive environment for us to play in. And I see now that that has no business here.
Starting point is 00:19:35 Well, that's just not who we are. It's just not who we are. I think the energy was more the issue. I don't think it was the tone. It was the pacing. It was your verbal pacing. It was throwing me off. I was't think it was the tone. It was the pacing. It was your verbal pacing. I was just trying to keep everybody chill. I'm impressed with Andrew
Starting point is 00:19:49 and his ability to roll with that for so long. Yeah, me too. I was locked in. I'm impressed with my ability to roll with that for that long. No, you could have done that for four hours.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Andrew kept going as though you were being a normal human. Gavin's right 100% I don't think I could have kept that going for four hours that was pretty I was killing I kept it going as long as I physically could and I think
Starting point is 00:20:16 that that was a great depiction of who you are Jeff of you were doing this bit that you don't even really find funny anymore but you're you're annoying Gavin and that brings you joy and so you do it for almost 20 minutes because gavin is so irritated that was like a cold war
Starting point is 00:20:31 yeah in podcasting that was a that was a civil cold war i hate myself so much sometimes i've done so much work not to hate myself in the grand scheme of things, like getting over the alcohol and all that and like learning to like myself
Starting point is 00:20:48 and all the therapy and shit. But there are moments when I get stuck in like, and Eric, I'll speak in terms you can understand. I get stuck in my like bingey stick coma and I just, I can't find a way out. I just won't, like my brain won't let me.
Starting point is 00:21:02 And then I just like fucking hate myself, but I can't do anything about it. When you started it at the top of the episode, I went, well, he didn't have this planned, but he just found this. So I guess we're going to see how long it goes for.
Starting point is 00:21:12 And it went roughly 20 minutes. I didn't have a plan at all. It's just how my, it's just, yeah, I just noticed I was kind of chill. So I just thought, fuck,
Starting point is 00:21:20 I was trying to picture it. Like I was trying to figure out who wronged you between, between recording, but you didn't go anywhere. I don't think so. I was like, man, nobody wronged me. I was trying to figure out who wronged you between recording. But you didn't go anywhere, I don't think. So I was like, man. Nobody wronged me. I was worried something happened in the small space between. I was just playing it chill, man.
Starting point is 00:21:35 Yeah? Chill? Chill and helpful. Just want to give everybody space to communicate and talk. I have a chill update. Let's do it. Y'all persuaded me. You made me come into the fold. You're doing the marathon. I'm
Starting point is 00:21:51 streaming. No, he's streaming. I'm streaming. You're a streamer. I got my stream set. Mm hmm. What's your favorite stream flavor so far? So here's the thing. I haven't got any of the syrup yet for it. So I've been I've been carbonating juices and having a great time. I did some carbonated orange juice the other day.
Starting point is 00:22:10 Did some cranberry raspberry yesterday. This is great. I'm having a great time. Is a carbonated orange juice essentially just an orange Julius? Yeah, it is. It was sort of unnerving. It's a little bit slightly different of a taste, but yeah, it's similar that's a great comparable it feels very fancy too yeah we we could open up our own mall store yeah we just like sell carbonated juices to people or they bring their
Starting point is 00:22:35 own juice and we carbonate it yeah it's like a it's like a byo jc kind of yeah bring your own juice to carbonate this is fucking that's the name of our store It's like a BYOJC kind of thing. Yeah. Bring your own juice to carbonate. This is fucking, that's the name of our store. BYOJC. Did we talk about for Uniform, I know, Jeff,
Starting point is 00:22:54 you were talking about the key that you shove in a, that you wrap toothpaste tubes around and it squeezes it all out. Oh, yeah. Did we talk about Uniform making one of those? No. No.
Starting point is 00:23:02 Because that could go pretty well with the bread clip. You think so? I don't know how to improve upon it. It's already a perfect... Yeah, that's the... That's the problem.
Starting point is 00:23:10 It's like Uniform... Uniform's not just about logo slapping. Uniform's about innovation. No, it's innovation. Yeah, but I think we can innovate. I'm going to get in the lab.
Starting point is 00:23:17 I'll tell you that right now. You've challenged me to get in the lab and see how we can innovate... How we can innovate toothpaste. And as Nick says uh based on our previous stuff slap a magnet on it slap a magnet i have a question for you guys about the streaming
Starting point is 00:23:33 because you're ahead of me on the curve uh currently i have um all of the like bottles for it the the the compressed whatever carbonation uh just in room. Where should I store this? Where should I store the CO2 type things? Huh? Like the CO2 canister? Yeah, the canister. How many do you have? So that's the thing. I bought two. They sent me four. I have four of them
Starting point is 00:23:58 currently. And they're just all around my room. And as somebody who plays a lot of first person shooters, I feel like I'm in an explosive war zone right now. Anytime, like when I see one, my brain just immediately goes, someone's going to shoot that,
Starting point is 00:24:13 fire's going to shoot out the side, and then it's going to blow up. Are they red? No, they're white. I think you're probably fine. They're fine? Okay. Yeah, they're only flammable if they're red. Yeah, only red barrels in Kenist is explode.
Starting point is 00:24:29 I would put them in your closet, so you don't have to look at them anymore, but yeah, you know I Don't know I don't start only have one and it's the one that's in this the soda stream And then when I when it goes empty I just go to Target by new a white canister can explode I mean if you ever shot a white barrel in a video game and had explode propane tanks Your propane tanks not explode if you shoot them? Oh, like Left 4 Dead? Yeah. They'll fire. They'll zoom off. Good point. Yeah, be really careful around it then.
Starting point is 00:24:54 What's a non- What's the most non-exploding color? Would you say blue? Blue, I think, is butane, though, a lot of the time. Oh, it is? What about green? Does green explode? I don't think green explodes.
Starting point is 00:25:08 Paint them green. Okay. Also, I don't think fire would shoot out. I think you have the opposite problem. Oh, really? Like it would freeze. Oh. Green is like noxious gas.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Yeah, you'll die. Can't do that. That's true, yeah. The room would get all green. Poison air. Maybe yellow. Ooh, yellow. Yellow? I got a lot of canisters because i also i bought compressed air because i noticed when i was playing trucks my xbox sounded like it was gonna die and i thought this could either be a
Starting point is 00:25:36 trucks issue or something's going on my xbox in every game it did the same thing so i read that it's uh probably a dust problem. Let me tell you, if you haven't compressed air your Xbox, I'd highly recommend it. I could not believe the amount of dust that shot everywhere. I would say it was like a tomb. It was like we went into a tomb and opened something that had been buried for millions of years. Did you feel like Brendan Fraser?
Starting point is 00:26:03 I did, yeah. It kind of was like in Chernobyl, you know, when it's all the atomic ash coming down and they think it's snow. It was like that out of my Xbox. What kind of Xbox do you have? Xbox Series X. So like the big...
Starting point is 00:26:21 The big, the like little fridge. The fridge one. Yeah. That's the one I have too. And so it was getting loud and then you compressed air and now it's fine? Yeah, it sounded like it was like a snowplow or like a heavy truck outside of where I live every time I tried to play any game on my Xbox. I was wondering why you had compressed air when you were unboxing your cock last week.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Yeah, it was because I cleaned out my Xbox with it. And I would highly recommend it. So, that's a good idea. Yeah. I should try that. I may or may not have just bought a whole new Xbox Series X because my Xbox is overheating.
Starting point is 00:27:00 No! I wonder if I could have just blown it out. God damn it. Well, why don't you try blowing it out? Here's what happened to my Xbox One X. Here's why I think it might be different. Emily always puts up like, you know, 40 billion Christmas decorations. And so the Xbox is on the, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:27:18 on the console in front of the TV. And it always gets covered, like covered in holly and candles and all that shit and at christmas this year for the first time ever my xbox started overheating and it'll just like shut a game down and be like it's the xbox is running too hot to play this game right now reboot it and cool it down and try again and then so i made her take all the all that shit off and then i stood it up because it had been laying down and it worked okay for a little while. But then it just started overheating in any game I play. Like I couldn't play more than two minutes on Power World and it would just turn my Xbox
Starting point is 00:27:50 off. So I just fucking went out and bought a new one. But now I'm going to buy some canned air and see if I can get some canned air. Yeah. And if you can't give it to Eric or Nick, because we were trying to we're slowly. I can do that. We're building. Let's play.
Starting point is 00:28:02 I mean, I probably should give it to Millie. But yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, he's slightly she's above you guys're built for the Let's Play. I mean, I probably should give it to Millie, but yeah. Oh, yeah. She's slightly, she's above you guys in the hand-me-down thing. Understandable. How often do you vacuum your room, Andrew?
Starting point is 00:28:14 Not, maybe like, I don't know, once a month, maybe. Oh, it's not as bad as I expected. Not a lot. Not a lot at all. Yeah. I was trying to come up with a number that sounded reasonable, but... Oh, so you're just making it up? Yeah, I just threw that number out there.
Starting point is 00:28:32 It's probably been five months, six months since the last time I did it. Well, that could be your problem. Yeah. Every time you set one footstep, you'd kick it up all the dust in the room, and it's getting sucked in by your Xbox. Yeah. It definitely felt like there was 20 years worth of dust in this Xbox.
Starting point is 00:28:53 And obviously with you stepping in Swiffer wet jet boxes, that's really going to kick up the most. It did. It launched. My foot went into the Xbox area, so it definitely kicked any additional dust into the vent thing but you should definitely try it jeff because it's a very holy system there's a lot of holes you could shove that compressed air yeah i'll do that and it just
Starting point is 00:29:16 flies if i can save this xbox it'd be awesome to give it to mill um or one of you guys if she doesn't want it but uh i I think I justified it to myself because it was like it was a free Xbox I got through work anyway so I have never actually bought a Series X so I figured I've got enough free use out of this Xbox I can afford to pay for one yeah but I would still
Starting point is 00:29:38 look at it but still like to recoup the other Xbox and have it working good morning like to recoup the other Xbox and have it working. Good morning, beverage enthusiasts. That's certainly me. There are all sorts of beverage enthusiasts. There are some people that like to stream. Some people like all sorts of different beverages. But here we're talking about Kato's coffees and teas.
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Starting point is 00:35:36 Start The Good Habit at tryfume.com slash face to save 10% off the Journey Pack today. Do you want to hear a disturbing discovery i made recently please what do you know about blimps uh they're incredibly dangerous yeah they explode they were supposed to be the future of travel right at one point yeah do you know how many blimps there are uh in the world yeah well we got the good year blimp i'm gonna say three i'm gonna say i'm gonna say one i think it's just one blimp i think it's there's gotta be a backup i say three oh okay well maybe my fact wouldn't be very mind-blowing to you there's 25 huh yeah that sounds right a lot yeah i think that's such
Starting point is 00:36:28 a low amount no i mean i picked three because i could tell where you were going with this but yeah it does seem like i mean they're not practical in any way right no i thought they were just above every like sporting event that's what i was 25 that's like why are we using them at football games if If there's only 25, we should be using them very sparingly for whatever their intended purpose is. Football games. That means all blimps are limited edition.
Starting point is 00:36:54 Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like I've never seen a blimp. So it just didn't feel like a thing that was in circulation. I feel like blimping is a dead technology. Yeah. Oh, it definitely is. They got to be GTA Online though. We used to fuck with blimps in GTA Online.
Starting point is 00:37:10 I've shot that blimp down more times than there are actually blimps. Well, you think about it like, is there a blimp company? Yeah, that's a great ask. Apparently, one company owns all the main blimps like the good year and the direct tv and it's all one company how much does it cost to buy a blimp that's what i'm wondering or are you basically leasing the blimp out
Starting point is 00:37:36 from that company you got to make sure that you get your loan from the bank and not at the blimp dealership is the move because they'll they'll jack your interest dude you know what i'm thinking here the uniform blimp yeah blimping is old technology right they had that shit that's what the hindenburg was like that shit's been around for 100 years clearly not hard you just need fabric and air so what if we started a competing blimp company and then we just undercut their prices by 10%. Instantly we're fucking blimp rich. What do you think will be cheaper? Doing that or just buying the shittiest blimp? Like the 25th
Starting point is 00:38:12 most sought after blimp. But if they own it, they own the means that they're going to fucking overcharge you. How much is it? Let me look up blimp for sale. Would you rather take one of those submarines down the Titanic or ride in the shittiest blimp?
Starting point is 00:38:30 I would ride the blimp. If, you know, worse comes to worse, I'd dive out the window and parachute to safety. Oh, yeah, okay. Okay, sure. Well, it's a better escape plan than being a mile below the surface of the ocean. Why are you going to do that?
Starting point is 00:38:42 Yeah, but clearly in the hypothetical, the question wasn't phrased in the scenario in which you have a parachute and are able to jump out. It's just trapped vehicles. Oh, I don't know if I trust them. Oh boy. Oh boy.
Starting point is 00:38:58 So we can buy a blimp, and they're not that expensive. They're smaller. We're talking about Airship Solutions, who sells the world's smallest blimps. You can get the indoor-outdoor model for $7,000. It's the E13 blimp with the indoor and outdoor gondola. Fins with a choice color of 40 to choose from
Starting point is 00:39:20 for both indoor and outdoor. It's got a hole with three standard colors or a combination of three standard colors. Any PMS can be matched for non-standard at a cost. ACDC digital battery charger, hole repair kit. These are tiny little handheld blimps. They're still as big as a person.
Starting point is 00:39:37 You gotta start somewhere. You gotta be able to drive the blimp from the inside. You gotta start somewhere. cheapest you take inner boy we take we roll up to fucking local sporting events we start around at halftime take all the money we have put it into R&D and we make a bigger blimp and then we go to bit we tackle bigger clients and we keep working our way up until suddenly we've got a fucking we've got like the world's biggest. We need a pair of binoculars on every seat for this blimp to look.
Starting point is 00:40:09 It's not that small. There's a picture of it at a fucking sporting event. Yeah, but it's Okay. Are these like the ones that would drop stuff? That's not that small. Yeah, they're pretty small. They drop like shirts and stuff as they fly
Starting point is 00:40:26 around. It's gotta be 10 feet long at least. I don't know about that. You gotta start somewhere. That is true. Does it just say imagine this but bigger on the side for us? Like what is our message? There it is right there next to two dudes.
Starting point is 00:40:41 That's pretty big. That's clearly bigger than those dudes. What if on the side we just write help us buy a bigger blimp and then there's a qr code and people can exactly donate to the blimp fund the international blimp fund make this blimp bigger so wait hang on so in order to get the blimp going you said we need all these binoculars for people to see our tiny blimp but you you want to put a QR code on the side so everyone has to zoom in all the way through binoculars. I just think that the initial steps there are going to be very tough.
Starting point is 00:41:14 I can tie this full circle. You said Uniform is all about innovation. We sell binoculars that can scan QR codes. There you go, Andrew. Wi-Fi binoculars. There you go. That's honestly, that's a CES technology that I'm surprised isn't a thing
Starting point is 00:41:27 already. Sounds like a problem. Sounds like a knockoff Mr. Beast video where we leave like an unclaimed Venmo wallet on a QR code, but put it on a really high up balloon. First to scan
Starting point is 00:41:42 it gets the money. Oh my god! what do you find the swarovski optic outdoor app allows you to transfer cell phone and uh uh transfer data from your from your binoculars to your cell phone the live view feature turn the mode selection wheel makes it possible to share the view with up to four other smartphones and use QR codes. It might already exist.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Damn. Shit. I thought I was being innovative. I mean, it's still pretty innovative. There's a great It's Always Sunny style edit for this episode of Jeff saying Unifarm
Starting point is 00:42:20 isn't about just slapping their logo on things and then immediately cutting to face-by as a blimp. Literally the only purpose buys a blimp literally the only purpose of the only thing you can do with a blimp yes you slap your logo on it oh it sounds like we can drop t-shirts
Starting point is 00:42:33 from it oh yeah you do that too did you have you never experienced that in a sporting event like the little blimp that flies around and drop shit except our blimp will drop a bunch of toothpaste keys and bread clips and wrist pockets they spend all of their entertainment budget on the blimp so it's just them dropping bread
Starting point is 00:42:56 clips on people as the prizes oh my god 25 blimps huh yeah 25 sort of sizable drivable blimps huh yeah 25 sort of sizable drivable blimps is what I've read but that also could be horseshit because it was on Wikipedia I got a whole podcast based off Wikipedia don't start talking shit about Wikipedia
Starting point is 00:43:16 okay I am I thought I would tune into something over the last week something that I've heard about a few times but never watched. It was Eric doing the wrestling commentary. Oh, it's great, isn't it? I went into it not knowing how Eric was going to approach it. Is he going to be softly spoken and technical?
Starting point is 00:43:39 I tuned in. That's an insane way to think I would approach anything, but thank you. That is also, Gavin has never seen wrestling. Like, what are you? Well, I know that's always like a screaming guy, but I think, I guess when I watched WWF, it was like two screaming guys. But yeah, I just, I'd never heard it.
Starting point is 00:43:57 So I was just, I didn't really know what to expect. I tuned in on Twitch and was met with some guy like pelvic thrusting another guy in the ass. Oh. And then Eric go, I just hear Eric go, oh. Yeah, you know, it's a cast of characters and everyone has their different psychology and the way they approach their matches. And so what Gavin tuned into.
Starting point is 00:44:22 It's the most animated I've ever seen you in my life. It's, you know, it's a lot of fun. And so what Gavin tuned into was the most animated I've ever seen you in my life. It's, uh, you know, it's a lot of fun. It's great doing all of the, uh, pro wrestling stuff because all these, some of these guys, their goal is to be like, you know, like where I'm going to get on TV and I want to do this as a career. And then there are other people that are like weekend warriors about it. And the weekend warrior guys are the best ones. Yeah, I feel like I saw some stuff
Starting point is 00:44:48 that couldn't be on TV. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you get taken to Poundtown? Did you see a Poundtown? No, he has not seen the mayor of Poundtown yet. That's maybe my favorite guy. He is what a funny comedy guy just to do just to get beat up he goes in and he tells people i'm gonna take you to pound town and then he just gets punched or thrown over the
Starting point is 00:45:13 top rope it's perfect it's perfect every time it's great but gavin i can't like you tuned in and uh i got a text from you in the middle of it and i went oh that's crazy i was just a screenshot and i just wrote i feel like i'm watching a hate crime yeah it's you just do the commentary from home no no no no i go there yeah i go to the arena we have like a little setup the uh the producer that put it together did a really great job he has like a like an ATEM multicam setup and it's like a whole thing. Yeah, it's fucking crazy. And it's like, it's on zero dollars.
Starting point is 00:45:49 So it's a lot of fun. And we do it like every Saturday. It's always a great time. I really enjoy it. Thank you for tuning in. It's great. Every time I've watched it. Official AAPW is where you can find us all over the place. You want to do it, Gavin? You want to get in there? No.
Starting point is 00:46:07 I'll film some slow-mo, though. Yeah, you want to film some slow-mo of maybe Dan getting thrown around or somebody doing something? Yeah, why not? I had a really weird thought pop into my head that I just remembered, Gavin, last night that I wanted to ask you. This is a very strange
Starting point is 00:46:22 question, but it was making me laugh. I was having a great time. Have you ever filmed like an elderly man sprinting at you naked in slow motion? What the fuck? No. Yeah, have you ever filmed that, dude?
Starting point is 00:46:38 No. You know what? No, I haven't. Because I think it would be really funny. I think that'd be a really great slow-mo. Why? I just feel like, because the skin is kind of loose, and you don't really see people of a certain age sprint anymore,
Starting point is 00:46:52 I just think there's a lot of flopping that's going to happen, and I think it would be really funny. It's so simple, but I'd love to see a naked old dude sprinting towards the camera at you from a distance. A, who's's gonna want to be filmed that way and b where are we gonna put that a nudists b great question but that's we'll figure that out later the biggest problem is getting the old guy but i don't think that's hard i'm sure that's not gonna be hard at all dude yeah A naked old guy, that's the easiest part.
Starting point is 00:47:25 You can't tell me it doesn't crack you up just imagining all the, seeing it in slow motion, all the bops and the things bouncing around. See, I've been in this situation before, though. It's like, the idea of it's funny, and it's great, and it's like, oh, I'm so excited to do that. And then you're watching back the footage, and you're just like, oh. No, I don't think, I think you would be laughing so hard as if they were into it if they got the spirit of it i think that's hilarious i think i think you should direct
Starting point is 00:47:51 this piece i yeah i would i mean it's easy i don't think i think jeff could even direct this piece i think he gets what the fuck is that how did that happen oh how! How did Jeff get... What happened? Jeff gets hit by the strayest bulls somehow. No! Jesus Christ! Next to Gavin, I'm probably the... I gotta be the best director in this group. What the hell? That's...
Starting point is 00:48:13 No, this is what I meant by that. It feels to me like this would be a very jackass thing, and I think you completely understand the spirit of something that is jackass-like. I think you'd be absolutely capable of it. Dumbest, shittiest motherfucker i know it was gavin going andrew i'm gonna make you watch this and andrew going yeah jeff should have to watch this yeah also gavin didn't you tell me once that you filmed for a commercial uh like sienna miller or some famous actress run or like a music video running naked. And you said seeing anybody run naked in slow motion was one of the most disturbing things
Starting point is 00:48:51 you'd ever seen. It's not flattering that the Sienna Miller thing was that was a different thing. That was when I've never been booed so much in my entire life. But we're filming some music video and she was in like a gown Like hospital overalls And did like a little lunge over some Gurneys or something But that was just like a hell of a view Up her gown And we were all watching it
Starting point is 00:49:17 Slow down And I was like oh this is going to be pretty bad For her because there's all these dudes on set So I skipped it ahead past that bit and everyone yelled He did the right thing it sounds like you definitely did the right thing Oh, of course it is the right thing but it was it was a you know room full of 50 year old blokes who almost saw Sienna Miller's growler so they were really really pissed off. And when was this? They were really, really pissed off.
Starting point is 00:49:43 And when was this? About 15 years ago, maybe. See, now one of those guys can be our naked old man sprinting at the camera. All I took away from that story when you told me 15 years ago was that even the hottest people on Earth are ugly when they run. And I was like, I just remember that. Nah, she looked great. Yeah. But she wasn't naked.
Starting point is 00:50:03 She was wearing a gown. I'm just saying. Just think about it. You control the Slow Mo Guys channel however you want, but it's just something to consider. If you say it's educational, you can put it up on YouTube with nudity. That's true.
Starting point is 00:50:17 So he should write some algebra on his chest or something? I was just thinking the flops. I was snickering toops as a snicker into myself just how floppy everything would be because they have to be kind of out of shape too a kind of out of shape 70 year old man sprinting with intent right at the camera
Starting point is 00:50:34 would you do it when you're 70? what? like if you were 70 would you go for it? oh hell yeah absolutely I would mark it down yeah okay sure I'll sign up for this we'll revisit this in 40 years or whatever If you were 70, would you go for it? Oh, hell yeah. Absolutely, I would. Mark it down. Yeah, okay. Sure, I'll sign up for this. We'll revisit this in 40 years or whatever.
Starting point is 00:50:49 Yeah, like 40 years. Put in your calendar, Gavin. 2064? Jeez. And I don't want to tip anything off here, but you might want to be a first member for that one. That's going to be on the paper. Get your subscription now park that subscription now because in 40 years you're gonna want to be ready
Starting point is 00:51:16 we're bringing the content jesus christ it would be fun to set up a video like that that time releases in 40 years and it's that's kind of like how was it like Mark Twain when he died had it wrote an autobiography but it said it couldn't be released until after 100 years after he was dead or something uh I think I think something similar happened to J.D. Salinger where
Starting point is 00:51:39 he wrote like an additional three or four novels and then said that they could only be released after he died that'd be funny if we made a video and then just set the time release as far as possible out. And just like 30 years from now, it just clicks on. That's what made me come up with that thought. And you saying that made me remember it was because Robert Rodriguez made a alcohol short documentary with John Malkovich that isn't supposed to come out until like 2070 something. Oh, and really like it's just yeah it's slated and it's like essentially the idea being like everybody's
Starting point is 00:52:10 gonna be dead by the time that that worked on this by the time it releases and I just in my head I could see John Malkovich doing some creepy weird shit that you don't like everyone's waiting for this film and then it just turned out to be John Malkovich goateeing for 30 seconds laughing at you that people are waiting for out of this vault. John Malkovich admitting to multiple murders across the world. Yeah, it's like the jinx. He's just burping and admitting to killing people.
Starting point is 00:52:40 We thought it was a truck driver. It was John Malkovich the whole time. He's the smiley face killer. What was that with the burping? He just fucking was a truck driver. It was John Malkovich the whole time. He's the smiley face killer. What was that with the burping? He just fucking was involuntary. Just like a fucking guilty tick, I think. Now he's dead. Oh, I have a clip.
Starting point is 00:52:57 Oh, what's your clip? It's from episode 191. That's one of the ad reads. Oh, fuck off. Fuck off. Eat my dick. Respectfully.'s one of the ad reads. Oh, fuck off. Fuck off. Eat my dick. Respectfully. You go do an ad read.
Starting point is 00:53:10 I'm going to have to put my therapy hat back on. These things are getting a little spicy. Why don't you do the ads this week, Gavin? Ad, here we go. Great programs for,
Starting point is 00:53:18 and it's really easy to pick up. The other thing that they do, which is so awesome, is they provide pronunciation checks. Of all the words? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:30 Yeah. That's how I came out aggressive. That was... That was so fucking funny. Oh, fuck. I knew it was coming. Oh, man. Dude, come on.
Starting point is 00:53:58 Oh, God damn. Did you know you did that in the moment and then thought, ah, fuck it, nobody will notice? Or did you know you did that in the moment and then thought, ah, fuck it, nobody will notice? Or did you find out later? It was a thing where I was, if I'm going to be completely honest, I was in the midst of a payday heist while recording that ad read, and I fumbled it.
Starting point is 00:54:16 I was trying to pick safety deposit boxes, and I fumbled it, and I went nuts. Wait, wait, wait. Was this during our payday heist? No, I played some payday by myself later. I thought we would have heard him if it was us. That's what I thought too. I was trying to think.
Starting point is 00:54:33 I'm like, was there any point where Andrew was muted for like a long time when we recorded payday? He should do all of his... Andrew, you should do all your ad reads. Next one should be in the middle of the final circle of Warzone. Okay. How many, how many, uh, how many players is Payday 3? Four.
Starting point is 00:54:53 Four players? Yeah. Yeah, we talked about it last time. We had, like, a lot of fun when we played Payday. Those videos will come out eventually. We had a lot of fun, and then we talked about, about you know if there's a world where you know we have our four but then maybe people get swapped in and out for uh i don't know about lowest performing member of the group or uh people that blow it uh so you're so what we're saying is there is a there's a a group of four for payday which i'm not in i understand i didn't make that
Starting point is 00:55:24 recording so that's fine. That's fair to me. There's always different groups, right? That's how this kind of works. But there's a group of four for payday. However, there's a potential system in play where the lowest performing member gets relegated for a video and replaced. Just saying.
Starting point is 00:55:40 Just a potential. Who do you think could have been chucked? Oh, boy. You know, honestly, I'm going to leave it to the videos to come out. You guys let us know when the payday videos come out. Leave a comment. Let us know who you think would be relegated of the group of four. I'm very curious to see what the chat says.
Starting point is 00:56:03 I can't wait to find out. I think that could even work outside of, because we're just sort of going through, like we do a heist onto the next one. I think it'd be a lot of fun for us to try to perfect every heist, and maybe like while we're doing those runs, factor in who fails the most,
Starting point is 00:56:18 and then whoever fails the most is cut from the crew for the next night, because you wouldn't bring that guy back if this was a real heist group. And they have to do the ad read. That's group. And they have to do the ad read. That's true. And they have to do the ad read. I will say Payday 2 was a great game
Starting point is 00:56:30 and we got a lot of really good content out of it for Achievement Hunter. So I think it probably stands to reason that 3 would warrant a few videos as well. Especially if you guys are having fun playing it. Oh, it's so much fun. I can't believe how much fun I had. I cannot believe how much fun I had playing that game.
Starting point is 00:56:43 I feel like we have too much to play. Like, I really, really, really want to play Pal World. I think there'd be a couple of videos. I think Trucks could be, just based on the audience alone, I think Trucks could be endless videos, it feels like. I think, to be honest, we're still, well, I feel like I am in the mindset that's
Starting point is 00:57:00 similar to the old style Let's Play where we would just record all the time and stuff would come out all the time. It's taken me a lot to get similar to the old style Let's Play where we would just record all the time and stuff would come out all the time. It's taken me a lot to get used to the cadence of recording less often and putting less out. How do you mean? Because I think I agree with you. I guess I was just used to doing it every day and videos would come out every day.
Starting point is 00:57:17 Yeah, you definitely get used to the pace and like when we were in that treadmill and it definitely feels weird to go like half speed again. If we want to add another let's play recording day to the calendar, I'm all for it. I'm not complaining and I don't, and I'm not advocating for that. And I don't say I mind it.
Starting point is 00:57:33 I'm just saying that I agree with Gavin. It is weird to be doing it again and be doing it at such a slower pace, I guess, be the way to put it. Yeah. And not good or bad. I just, it's just interesting.
Starting point is 00:57:44 It definitely feels like there was like, I don't just a different vibe a whole different world yeah because i feel like i go weeks where i feel like we should make a video and then we we just don't get around to it there's just so much to play yeah we before like let's play even really started i had a an evening where i went oh fuck like what are we what are the video ideas gonna be like do we have enough for a year and i wrote out like 60 just video ideas and i don't think we've done more than five of what i wrote at that time i would never worry about running out of video game ideas no i don't think that's gonna be an issue for us yeah maybe maybe running out of good ideas but definitely not ideas that happened long ago
Starting point is 00:58:25 that's fine we've already dealt with that problem um yeah i think would be great as long as you guys are open to it because it's like for me so much of it is making sure it doesn't become a burden to do because right now it's so much fun as long as i don't have to invent and build a game in Minecraft and then force four to six assholes who are constantly trying to undermine the point of the video and the competition and run them through it. As long as I don't have to do that, I'm fine. I'll do any of it. Well, I'm so excited for what we've been doing in that field and as soon as we finish like it's always like oh i want to do more which is the perfect feeling it is the best feeling to end on yeah i think we could increase slightly because i'm definitely not anywhere near the point where
Starting point is 00:59:18 it's like oh man too much too much yeah like maybe one more day that is not like like maybe a 45 minute type window to just do like one more video i think would be great yeah i agree because it's like i want to do because selfishly i want to do trucks constantly like right i'd like to do trucks every week and i think that the audience would like that based on what i'm reading uh but to do trucks every week really cuts down on what else we can do yeah it's weird so it's like it feels weird it's basically become the truck channel. I feel like there's not a lot of experimentation time
Starting point is 00:59:48 either. I'd be excited to do the blowing people off parachutes with bomb drones. But that's not something we'll quickly get in like 40 minutes. We'd need to actually be prepared to spend maybe like 90 to 2 hours trying to get it.
Starting point is 01:00:04 It's tough with our current slot. It is, but it sounds like maybe we'll look at it after this recording, figure something out for that. Because that'd be awesome. Any excuse to spend more time playing games with everyone here? I'm all for it. Let's figure it out. Can I tell you something really dumb
Starting point is 01:00:21 if we're talking about pron uh, uh, pronunciations of, uh, issues. Yeah. Yeah. Something I didn't share with you guys. And this has been something that happened a while ago. And I realized to understand the distance of time, it was probably like three or four weeks where I thought this,
Starting point is 01:00:43 we had a, uh, for the merch meeting, uh uh near the end of the year in december we had like end of year merch meeting where we evaluated like the sales of everything and how stuff is doing and all that stuff and looking at numbers and whatnot and i completely misinterpreted what a specific word meant and uh it completely shifted my perspective of how things were going for us there is a section titled returns and that is that section is items that have been returned and the cost of returning those items whenever return was stated i thought that was the profit
Starting point is 01:01:21 return of whatever those items were. So literally, because the returns are always in the negative, and I thought for weeks of like, wait, we didn't, we're negative in everything? Every single thing is negative? How is this happening? How are the Gerplers negative?
Starting point is 01:01:38 I felt really dumb. Three weeks later. That is an exceptionally dumb way to look at it. It was. One of the all-time dumb moments for me is realizing when I was looking at the sheet later, oh, this is the product returns,
Starting point is 01:01:52 not actual return. And was it like you didn't know you didn't know? So it's not like you could have thought to ask. I thought F*** Face was shutting down in the next week was my walk away. It's like, if this is, if,
Starting point is 01:02:08 if everything, if the things that are selling out immediately and have a lot of enthusiasm for, we're losing money still on what this is, this is over. And I'm very sad about this. I used to struggle a lot, especially at school where I would freak out on the spot.
Starting point is 01:02:24 If I didn't understand something and i would just not ask and i would i would feel like too much time has passed and then i would have to try and figure out what the teacher meant like i remember i was doing i had to do like a newspaper it was like a magazine cover i had to like design that for media and uh i had the picture there and then i was like showing the teacher at the end. And, uh, she was like, yeah, that's great. That's great. Uh, it's great framing.
Starting point is 01:02:46 Um, obviously it needs the copy. And I was like, Oh yeah, yeah, definitely. Of course it needs the copy. And then I just walked away.
Starting point is 01:02:54 I was like, what is she talking about? And I couldn't, I didn't know how to Google either. Cause it was like, well, I don't know if Google was about, but I couldn't,
Starting point is 01:03:01 I couldn't even figure out how to search it online. Cause it would just bring up other mentions of copy. I couldn't figure out that she meant the about, but I couldn't even figure out how to search it online because it would just bring up other mentions of copy. I couldn't figure out that she meant the text. But I sat there. I probably wasted two whole lessons trying to figure out what she was talking about. I used to do that all the time. Now I just ask the question straight to your face. Yeah, that's the better way to be for sure.
Starting point is 01:03:21 This is fun. What's this picture doing? Oh, that's nothing important important I just Emily sent that to me she was looking through the wedding photos and it was just a photo of me Eric and Gavin at the wedding that's a rare picture of Eric and his invisible wife well yeah my arms my arms
Starting point is 01:03:36 around her and we're all laughing and having fun but Jeff is concerned about her so I'm just I'm like what I'm glad it was clarified that it's just what I thought it was Eric going like and the rat was this big and Gavin thinks that's great and Jeff is like rats really shouldn't be that big I don't know that's the size of a small blimp let's throw a logo on that rat do you think that's the closest your hand has been to my penis yet almost certainly not like you know what I'll say yet yeah I've been all over
Starting point is 01:04:19 that thing I mean you flicked my penis to the point where you've been closer to my penis than my penis was. Yes. Yes. Because you've like dislodged it. Oh, my God. That's true. Oh, man. Hey, hey, you know what, though?
Starting point is 01:04:36 It's fucking friendship, man. That's what we do. Oh, yeah. I'm here for your penis. You're here for mine. Forever. Is this what we're wrapping up on? Dude, it's the bond of friendship.
Starting point is 01:04:49 I feel like you've touched mine more, but I've seen yours more. You've definitely seen mine more. This is such a weird way to go out on this one, guys. It's a pretty weird way to come in, to be honest. Oh, man. I'm so glad today went well my notes my notes for this fucking episode are uh do you ever mix cereal that was the only note i had wow we're getting guys this might be one of the last 10 episodes of this show oh no the returns were real.
Starting point is 01:05:25 The returns on this episode are going to be real. Brother. No, I was going to ask because all I had was a little bit of Chex and a little bit of Fruity Pebbles. And I was like, I want fucking cereal. So I mixed it together and it was great. And I started thinking we should combine cereals more because this is an awesome, unexpected combination. Chex and Fruity Pebbles. I'll have to experiment with that.
Starting point is 01:05:50 That was my insight today. If you could send an item back through time to you as a kid, what item would blow your dick off the most? Loaded gun. Whoa. Yeah, I mean, that might be it, huh?
Starting point is 01:06:09 Hot dog cannon. Too much roll for life. I was thinking about this the other day, actually. I was thinking about doing a soul ride on it. Sometimes when I drive around, I was on my way to meet Eric. We were doing a special recording. And sometimes when I'm driving around, I like to pretend it's like the 1950s
Starting point is 01:06:26 and I'm seeing everything around me for the first time and what would stand out to me, you know? That's like one step away from having one of those gummy Coke bottles and pretending you're a giant. Yeah, I guess so. I guess it is. Just drive around being like, what would stand out to somebody from the 1950s?
Starting point is 01:06:41 Because a lot of the streets you drive by and you'd be like, I just see houses that look about the same. But Lime Scooters got me. How would I explain Lime Scooters to somebody from the 50s? And be like, yeah, it's just that you rent it. And they're like, who do I rent it from? And you're like, nobody. You just point your phone at it.
Starting point is 01:06:57 And they're like, a fucking phone from my house? How does that make sense? And then you got to explain cell phones. And then you got to explain computers and online transactions. And also this magic thing will turn on without being plugged in anywhere and just start to be operational. And I was thinking, man, that would be a really hard thing to wrap your head around. So I guess I'm going to say steps removed. So many steps removed.
Starting point is 01:07:16 Right. So I'm going to say it would blow my dick off to see a lime scooter. I think just handing myself a Nintendo Switch would completely sever my pain. Yeah, that's probably about it. Yeah. I mean, that would definitely be like, this is where I wanted the world to go. I can't believe we got there.
Starting point is 01:07:32 For me, and this is like, once again, video game field, and it doesn't seem amazing, but I, as a kid, played like six hours of Kingdom Hearts, never saved, the system got turned off, and I just never revisited it again being able to show how like a modern Xbox works where I could turn the system back on and it's just exactly
Starting point is 01:07:52 where I paused and that being the way for like every single player game I played would blow my mind dude quick resume oh my yeah like quick resume is an idea of like I don't even have to go through the menu it's literally where I paused it's crazy. That would blow my mind. I think conversely,
Starting point is 01:08:08 the internet is way more annoying now than it was when I first started using it. The internet seemed to make a real turn. It used to show you exactly what you wanted, and now the internet just shows you what it wants on every website.
Starting point is 01:08:23 Pretty much. I'm not interested. the internet just shows you what it wants on every website yeah pretty much and i'm just so i'm not interested do you remember voice masking jeff on the original xbox uh no i don't i mean i not specifically no it's so sad i was talking to gavin about it he had no idea what i was talking about i didn't i realized my research of it. I remember being in Halo 2. Like that was a feature for Xbox Live is that you could have
Starting point is 01:08:47 a voice mask and you sounded like a muffled Darth Vader. Like it sounded like shit. But I guess certain original Xbox games had their own different unique
Starting point is 01:08:56 voice masking options to them. And that is something that went away that I would love to see come back. You know what I miss that video games
Starting point is 01:09:02 had for a little while? I think it was the original Xbox when I would play Burnout or not burnout paradise i'm sorry that'd be a three that's a xbox 360 game but uh the burnout two or whatever it was burnout revenge or whatever you could rip a cd burn up maybe it's take them you could rip a cd a music cd to your xbox and then that or a couple and then you could go into burnout and you could play the radio station you could just put your music and so like i had this album i that i was listening to all the time from this band star market that i used to love and i would just listen to that while i played burnout and i remember thinking like this
Starting point is 01:09:41 is i'm living in the future right now this is this is gonna change how I play video games for the rest of my life and then I never played another video game that had that again I don't think ever after that the 360 I was ripping discs for like audio discs and playing it as music the background instead games I'd play I do that all the time I play like Gears of War it was awesome I think that the GTA 3 era of GTA games, you could do that on PC. You could just have a folder with your own radio station. That was it.
Starting point is 01:10:10 Playing PC games then. I remember the Xbox music player for the original Xbox. Like that was supposed to be cool. Where it's just the track listing and then a light that would like bounce to the music. Oh yeah, like the visualizer. Yeah, like it was a different built-out functionality for playing audio. Do you remember when navigating
Starting point is 01:10:27 simple menus would be like, shwoing, shwoing, shwoing? The blades. It's like you're playing Bushido Blade. Well, Xbox had like a nuclear reactor thing to it, too, of like, and you're just like, I want to put subtitles on. Like, I want to, I'm just changing a basic just like i want to put subtitles on like i want
Starting point is 01:10:45 to i'm just changing a basic setting we don't need to like explode the xbox to do this you sent me a video of of the guy testing out the voice filters and i've got to say i really rose-colored glasses what xbox live used to sound like i in my head it just kind of sounds like discord but you hear it now it's like oh it's like nick in the mask yeah what's another what's another thing that would blow your dick off that what no end this what if this podcast kept going podcast podcast would blow your dick off yeah i found podcasts pretty young though this is am radio but you can listen to it whenever this is not you know what blows my dick off about podcasts is the first podcast i listened to was in like 2006 the lost show had
Starting point is 01:11:38 a podcast and it was like damon lindelof and brian uh whatever his the other guy um they would do a weekly podcast. And that was my introduction to it. And I just thought it's so wild that of all the things, I don't know who at ABC thought that was a good idea, but they were ahead of their time as far as what shows should be doing. I think my first one was the Ricky
Starting point is 01:11:57 Gervais podcast. And that was just their radio show Adaptive, right? Or did they actually do a podcast for no they basically quit xfm and then started the podcast with uh with kp god damn i have no idea what the first podcast i ever listened to would have been do you think you made a podcast before you listened to one probably probably honestly yeah yeah i probably i mean i probably listened to some for reference but i probably was like this trash. And then
Starting point is 01:12:25 yeah, I bet I didn't really get into podcasts until the pandemic as a as a like a fan. You know, I guess a little bit before the pandemic. I really around Emily. Emily got me into podcasts. She was that's like her main form of entertainment. I'd say, huh?
Starting point is 01:12:41 I still think it'd blow my dick off if I sent me an old me a podcast of me. Like a f*** face podcast. Trying to understand what I was doing in the future, who these people are, how that's distributed, who's listening to it, how I got the call to f*** face. Yeah, why you're doing like a weird therapist bit at the beginning.
Starting point is 01:12:58 Like, holy shit, I went to college and I became a therapist. That's awesome. I sound really stupid. Well. My notes have... Why? Why are we doing this? End this. Just end.
Starting point is 01:13:12 This is the end. This is the end of the podcast. Well, hold on, Eric. I'm taking care of it. I guess it's about time to listen to your notes, Gav. What do you have in there? I guess we'll find out next week. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:13:24 Oh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Cliffhanger. The premise, not the movie. Just to clarify. Felt needed. Hey, guys.
Starting point is 01:13:38 Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Patton got some support. It's too wide. Do not go to thein got some support. It's too wide. Do not go to the chiropractor. It's Walmart Gavin. Gavin won't stop. Jeff keeps bleeding. We've got fuzzy new merch.
Starting point is 01:13:52 And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face. We'll see you next time.

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