F**kface - Cock Money // Punchlines [172]

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Episode 196, Andrews cock money, our Starfield characters, houses, and parents, F**kface Bababooey, present their punchline homework, Geoff tries his potato smileys..., deep fried scrub daddies, the prominence of the letter E, British explorers, and then there’s Gavin. Sponsored by Babbel http://babbel.com/FACE , Factor http://factormeals.com/face50 Code face50 , and Füm tryfum.com/FACE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma, is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics, groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics. Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation of Beastrin.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice. Your choice, that is. From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills. And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in their weak points, use the terrain and trick, trip, or throw foes off high cliffs or raging waters.
Starting point is 00:01:10 Visit dragonsdogma.com to buy the game and start your epic quest today. That's D-R-A-G-O-N-S-D-O-G-M-A.com to learn more. Three o'clock on a Thursday? Yeah, well, first of all, let me record. Let me hit record, then I can yell. Now I'm recording. First of all, start of the NFL season, both of you rejected my huddle. I'm hurt as we begin this show. I didn't get a huddle. Oh, I didn't get an invite.
Starting point is 00:01:58 I invited both of you to a huddle, and I sat there for ten minutes by myself, huddlest. I got last week's huddle invite, and I was there. I never got last week's or this week's huddle and I sat there for 10 minutes by myself, huddlest because nobody joined. I got last week's huddle invite and I was there. I never got last week's or this week's huddle invite, dude. I don't know where I'm supposed to get it. Where do the huddle invites go? Because I was an absent huddle. I would have loved to be in a huddle, especially for opening
Starting point is 00:02:17 day, right? Tonight's the first night of the fucking season, isn't it? A huddle, by the way, is like a Slack audio call or something. My phone nor my computer, both of which were in front of me, alerted me to any kind of huddle. It was a rare bath time huddle for me. I was still in the bath
Starting point is 00:02:33 as I was trying to get ready for the show. Can I say, if I do huddle with the two of you, I want you to be in the bathtub. I can make that happen. I like that. I can promise that. Hey, hold on a second. Let me let me do some. Let me take care of some business real fast. Hold on just a second. Hello and welcome to another episode of the face podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey with me as always
Starting point is 00:02:57 Andrew Payton and Gavin Free. This is episode 172. Oh, we're almost there. 196. What do you mean? I don't know. 196, that's going to be the banger. That's the one that we've agreed is going to be the... I think there needs to be a location for you to say we're almost there. I think it applies somehow indefinitely.
Starting point is 00:03:22 We have 24 episodes before we get to 196 that is that's a like almost a half a year that's crazy really we're not gonna get to 196 until like the winter i think january february somewhere around there oh wow winter of 24 it's gonna be a great year it's coming back the good years are coming back what if we did what if we did a summer of one day but we do it for a year in the future and then we just guess what all the best stuff is gonna be like like will smith's gonna will smith and dj jazzy jeffrey getting back together and in 2026 they're coming out with a song called toledo and it's gonna be everybody's gonna love it if we say shit. We'll eventually be right about something. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:07 I just want to know where we're going. I'm still stuck up on that. I hate long car rides. I need a location. I need to know roughly. How far. We going to 196? Is it the big thing?
Starting point is 00:04:18 Well and beyond. 197? Well and beyond. Okay. But we need. There needs to be a pit stop. Somewhere along the way. Do you want to take a pit stop. At like 182? I like that. Okay. But we need a, there needs to be a pit stop somewhere along the way. Do you want to take a pit stop at like 182?
Starting point is 00:04:28 I like that. Just to like sort of take note of where we are and how close to one night. How about for 182? We all record in a different location, a unique location. And we can share for 182 where the pit stops are. Now that's interesting. That's interesting. What if you record in a different location?
Starting point is 00:04:45 What if I record at Gavin's house and he records at my house? Oh. That's an option. Listen, I want it to be a mystery. I want it to be a big reveal. So you might do that, but I'm going to not lock that in for me.
Starting point is 00:04:57 I'm going to say in my head they could be anywhere and we'll see what happens when the episode comes. What episode is it? 182, 184? Which one? 184, I think. Okay. Oh, I comes. What episode is it? 182, 184, which one? 184, I think.
Starting point is 00:05:06 Okay. Oh, I'm excited. I think I said 182, but 184 feels better. I need a pit stop because it's been 183 episodes of just driving, just nonstop going. That's like, and I didn't even pick it for this, but 184 would be the halfway point between 172 and 186, I think.
Starting point is 00:05:24 So. That's perfect. There you go. That's fantastic. fantastic i mean you make it sound like you want to stop no i don't want to permanently stop i want to stretch my legs a little bit i want to want to take a little break maybe what does that mean though what does that mean i'm viewing this podcast is gavin saying we're almost there that makes me think of being like a kid in the car going like, are we there yet? And him going, oh, we're almost there. So I'm envisioning this entire podcast is a road trip now. And we have not taken any breaks.
Starting point is 00:05:55 And I hate very long car rides. So a little little break to get a snack or like stretch the legs would be good. Is Gavin Ice Cube in the scenario? Oh, I think Ice Cube drove the car, so I don't think so. Well, why don't we just do this? When we get to 196, we'll all get in a car together.
Starting point is 00:06:13 It's 184, isn't it? Oh, 184. All right, we'll all get in a car together. We'll hit play on F*** Face Episode 1. Just let it continue. Let them all play and see how far we get. Oh, that sounds terrible. Yeah, it sounds like a really bad idea.
Starting point is 00:06:27 I don't understand what the plan is there. To just play the old episodes? Listen to them in the car. See how far we can get before we get up to where we are. Eight minutes. But where are we going? Before I want out of the car. I still don't know where we're going.
Starting point is 00:06:40 Where are we going, Gavin? Andrew. Yes. It's clear nobody knows where we're going. Why don't you pick where we're going? Where's F***face gonna take us? I'm gonna pick the grocery store down the street. We're not going far.
Starting point is 00:06:53 I know where we're going. We're going to the epicenter of the F***face universe. Oh. Oh, we can see the billboard. Maybe by 196 we'll go to that spot. I don't know if that really. Maybe that'll be the spot. I don't know if that really lines up, but yeah, maybe. I wonder if this is the longest we've talked about jack shit.
Starting point is 00:07:11 No, this whole show, what do you think this show is? I think we got about 109 episodes of that already. Yeah, but this is nothing. Let me ask you guys this. Okay, how about this? All right, I want the four of you to pick a number between 1 and 20 gavin what's your number 17 okay andrew 18 uh eric 19 help with the other names nick 13 what the we had it all set up. Why would you pick 13?
Starting point is 00:07:46 I knew the number. I just had to figure out what. So I guess I'm going to go closest without going over. So the number was 16. So Gavin, I guess you're closest. Sick. I went over there. No.
Starting point is 00:08:00 Who said 16? Who said 15? I don't think anyone said 15. I thought Nick said 13. What? I thought Gavin said 15 and Andrew said 17. No, Gavin said 17. I said 18.
Starting point is 00:08:14 I think Eric said 19. Oh, okay. Well, then never mind. And then Nick was teed up for 20 and then went to 13. Oh, well, it's Gavin. It's Gavin anyway. Gavin's closest. The number was 16.
Starting point is 00:08:24 So anyway, now Gavin, so you won that. Gavin, I need you's Gavin. It's Gavin anyway. Gavin's closest. The number was 16. So it's anyway. Now, Gavin, so you won that. Gavin, I need you to pick a number between 1 and 171. Gavin, congratulations! I'm going somewhere with this. Okay. I have to pick another number? Just pick a number between 1 and 171. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:41 48. 48 picked by Gavin. Good episode. Yeah. All right, we'll discuss that in 184. Do you want to know what 48 was about or no? Yeah, go ahead. How do you know it was about F*** Face?
Starting point is 00:08:55 How do you know it had anything to do with F*** Face? Wait, what? Well, because there's not 48 episodes of So Alright yet. How do you know? Just because I said between one and 171 and there's exactly 171 episodes of this podcast you assume that's what i'm talking about okay so you'll link the numbers to something else no it's it's definitely episode 48 what was it about her in the anal trenches
Starting point is 00:09:17 i want out of this car a tub as narrow as jeff's foot jeff gavin and and Andrew talk about Gavin's ADR. Nick's theory confirmed. An official face retraction. Getting in a dry tub and missed mechanics. Excellent episode. Okay. Sounds like a banger. Sounds a lot better than this episode.
Starting point is 00:09:41 While we're recapping something, can I share a big old face that happened to myself oh hell yes this week i made a mistake so uh as you guys may know as you might be aware i am making a a real push to win the cock award as i said last time it was a whole bit i planned out and as part of the bit i made a website and. And let me tell you the entire, the vision I had for the website that I made. I made this site, and after the presentation, I was going to direct people to it and say, like, hey, if you click this button, it will, like, you put in your email and you click a button, it will send an email letting somebody know that they should nominate me because it's a department head.
Starting point is 00:10:29 That was the idea. But. But I thought, you know what, this is I love everybody on the merch team. What I was going to do is say that and imply that it was going to the head of merch guy that did the Andrew Halloween thing. But he's great. No issue with him. I was going to apply that,
Starting point is 00:10:47 but then have all of the emails go to Jack's work email and have it say, thank you for subscribing to So Alright every time they put in their email and so that he would blame you, Jeff. But I couldn't figure out how to make that happen. And I also don't know the merch guy that well. And I have no issue with him.
Starting point is 00:11:08 So I felt like it might be too mean. So I dropped the whole website. And I didn't do anything with it. I also bought multiple domains. Because I wasn't sure what to go with. So I bought AndrewDeservesACock.com. Which was what I built the site off of. Yep.
Starting point is 00:11:25 GetAndrewACock.com, which was what I built the site off of. Yep. Getandrewacock.com was my other one. And then my last one was cock2023. Jeez. So I had all these domains. I built the website. When I set up the website, they had different tiers of the website builder. And I went with the second tier that was like $17 or $18 or something like that a month. And it allowed 500 outgoing emails
Starting point is 00:11:47 per month so i figured at most jack would get 500 emails i wanted like as much as i could without it being completely insane so i set all that up drop it don't bring it up at all and then i get an email saying hey you're gonna get charged for this in like three days and i went oh fuck i gotta cancel that because i dropped it from my bit. It's not even in the presentation anymore. No one's gonna go to this site. It's just gonna die. And then I forget about it as everyone does with every subscription
Starting point is 00:12:13 they intend on canceling. And then yesterday, I got an email for a receipt for it. And I went, ah, fuck. I paid for it. Shit, I gotta, I'll just go through this receipt and I'll cancel it. It's like 18 bucks. It sucks, but whatever. I'll live. And paid for it. Shit. I gotta, I'll just go through this receipt and I'll cancel it. It's like 18 bucks. It sucks, but whatever. I'll live. And I open it
Starting point is 00:12:29 and I see that I've been charged $200. Whoa. Because I paid for a one year subscription for AndrewDeservesACock.com to be active. Which is not, that's way too much. I don't, I can't't i can't do that so i
Starting point is 00:12:46 immediately have to go to customer support and get a refund for andrew deserves a cock.com and i'm talking to somebody i'm having to send them info and trying to get a refund like as your name for a website called you deserve a cock.com was the time. It was a very embarrassing reef. I had to send them the order number. And then they tried to convince me to keep the site because they don't want to give me. They're like, hey, just so you know, this will delete the website immediately
Starting point is 00:13:16 if you get rid of it. And I obviously did. But I almost had to pay $200 for Andrew deserves a cock.com. I thankfully was refunded, but it was a nightmare and then so embarrassing to have to like try to talk to someone through a refund process of that so you were like it's andrewdeservesacock.com and they're like okay what's your name and you're like andrew it was like clearly they have a message press from andrew and i had to send them the order invoice number so they could pull it up in their system and see the domain and all
Starting point is 00:13:46 this stuff. It was the worst. Without context, it was the worst refund I could possibly imagine. It was a rough start to the week. Thankfully, I got the refund though. I don't have that
Starting point is 00:14:02 type of cock money thrown around. 200 bucks. I think last episode I was wondering if Starfield was going to be a good game. I hadn't really heard much about it. I think it's one of my favorite games ever. I didn't know anything about it.
Starting point is 00:14:18 How far into it are you now? I'm like 40 hours in. I've barely done anything. It is such a great game. Such a great game. I let myself dick around in. I'm about 30. I'm only 32. Yeah, same. It is such a great game. Such a great game. I let myself dick around in that game so much. If I'm like on a real mission, I've got to do all this important shit.
Starting point is 00:14:32 And then I overhear someone talking about like a lost cabbage in the room next door. I just immediately switched to what I'm doing. Or the what? What? I left New Atlantis about five hours into the game and I just never went back. I just go from planet to planet,
Starting point is 00:14:45 picking up missions. Like, uh... Like in Kung... Like in... Like, uh, Carradine in Kung Fu. It's fucking awesome. Such a great game. I'm in a...
Starting point is 00:14:54 I don't know what to talk about with this. Okay. Are we gonna talk about the other thing, or no? What the fuck is he talking about? He's talking about the new thing. Oh! The new thing. Do we talk about that?
Starting point is 00:15:04 Because there's a thing in relation to that but I can't I can't talk about that unless we talk about the other thing are we talking about that this is why we shouldn't have just started immediately I thought we were going to have a conversation because we're going back and forth I don't know what we're doing I don't think that one has anything to do with the other
Starting point is 00:15:19 I just wanted to talk about Starfield because I like it no you it's oh Eric asked if my save file got fixed. No. Well, sort of. The game sort of fixed itself over time. But it was broken for about six hours.
Starting point is 00:15:34 How was it broken? I lost... The game wouldn't give me quest markers anymore. Oh, no. So, you know, it's a Bethesda game. And you're in like Neon City and you take an elevator to like the fifth floor and you talk to a guy named Trevor. And then he tells you to go to another planet.
Starting point is 00:15:51 And so you have to like write it down because there's no quest marker and then find it on the fucking star map. And then you got to remember, like, what city did Trevor live in on what planet? What floor on the fucking like what office number? It was really it slowed me down for quite a bit. But I recovered. Did you reset? Like, how did it did it just fix itself? How did that get fixed? on the fucking like what office number it was really it slowed me down for quite a bit but i recovered did you reset like how did it did it just fix itself how did that get fixed uh it eventually kind of i just it i think that the the bug was tied to the bug happened when i was completing a of like a final mission in a quest line which was real bum bummer and then it wouldn't
Starting point is 00:16:22 let me complete that mission and then i just eventually did every other quest in my inventory and there must have been another one and they're glitched and when i did that it all just kind of started working again but it doesn't work great i briefly lost the ability to fire my gun it just my guns would wiggle when i pulled the trigger but they wouldn't shoot and then uh to fix it i became a woman what do you mean they would wiggle they would they would sort of wiggle it would I became a woman. What do you mean they would wiggle? They would sort of wiggle, it would be like a little like, I don't know, a little wiggle of the end of the gun. Wouldn't shoot anything. And then I went to New Atlantis, I walked into Enhance, changed my appearance, became a woman, walked back out, guns work. So are you still a woman?
Starting point is 00:17:00 I stayed a woman for a little bit and then eventually I went back to my- the thing is i had to like remake my original guy which i couldn't be bothered to do at the time yeah that's crazy did you well wait what did you when you flipped did you did you do it with the intent of trying to solve that problem or did you yeah it was something that someone suggested on google or reddit or something god i just strolled in as a bloke and walked out as a woman firing wildly into the air. That is really funny. That's the thing with these games is like if anyone has a bug and then they fix it,
Starting point is 00:17:31 I want to know how because I just assume I'm going to encounter it eventually. That, yeah, my quest stuff's still fucked up, but at least I can find missions and stuff now, which helps. But that bug you're describing,
Starting point is 00:17:42 Gavin, a lot of people mentioned that they had in that in that early week where it wasn't fully released yet it was just released for the for people that bought the special edition or whatever and uh I was reading that a lot of people were trying to revert to old saves but that the bug follows you into old saves and it would corrupt
Starting point is 00:17:57 old saves no yeah like goes back in time that's a nightmare yeah but apparently all you gotta do is just go to uh enhance and switch some stuff up and then you're good to go Yeah, like goes back in time. That's a nightmare. Yeah. But apparently all you got to do is just go to enhance and switch some stuff up and then you're good to go. My recommendation for that game, don't rely on the quick saves or the auto saves. Make shitloads of actual full blown saves. Yes.
Starting point is 00:18:19 I learned my lesson with, I think it was New Vegas. I died while switching, like going into a vault. And so, but it didn't register I had died until like I hit the button so my quick save which was on the other side of the door was immediate death and I was in a death loop non-stop and I was probably like 10 hours into the game at that point and I lost all of my progress I didn't manually save it's not manually saving everywhere everything i do manual yeah i i did a a dumb thing early on in starfield where it's like when you're piloting your ship on the left you have very much like star trek you have like uh columns one goes like for missiles call a column for uh like engine strength or speed a column for like your, and then one for your grav lift.
Starting point is 00:19:05 And you can raise and lower them, so you can divert power, kind of like Scotty does, to, you know, like, oh, I'm diverting power to shields. You literally do that in the game. And I warped into a planetary orbit where there was a fight going on,
Starting point is 00:19:18 and I could not win. I had to start a ship. I hadn't paid any attention to upgrading my ship at that point, and they just... I tried to win the fight 10 times, and it became clear to me that there was no way I was going to win. Similarly, though,
Starting point is 00:19:34 the save file starts with me launching into that location. And so I just turned around and just flew the other way, and then every once in a while, you can hit boost, and you can very slowly go the other way. And I kept trying to grab jump, and it wouldn't let me, and it wouldn't other way. And then every once in a while, you can hit boost and you can very slowly go the other way. And I kept trying to grab jump and it wouldn't let me and it wouldn't let me.
Starting point is 00:19:48 And I just sailed the other way in space for 22 minutes before I realized that I had, with the other guys behind me, they were at this point, they were like 11,000 kilometers behind me, but still following me. And I'm like, what is the threat distance on this thing? You know, when do they leave me the fuck alone? Figuring that like once I wasn't in combat, it would allow me to grab jump again. I just assumed that it was like a mechanic in the
Starting point is 00:20:12 game because it hadn't happened to me yet where I needed to escape from a fight. And 22 minutes is when I looked at the little columns and realized I had taken all of the grav lift away and put it in shields and that I could have just, I just switched that back. And then I, I grabbed jumped out of there immediately. And I had just spent 22 fucking minutes just hitting, hitting up on the left stick.
Starting point is 00:20:35 What? Why? Why? Have you done much planet scanning? Uh, yeah, but you do it on the surface. Like you don't do it. Like, uh, I guess, yeah, I guess you do it on the surface like you don't do it like uh i guess
Starting point is 00:20:47 yeah i guess you do i've done i've done surface scanning so for me like i i've been focusing purely on scanning so i do the planetary scan which i've leveled up which shows me where all the materials are so i can land in an area where they're at and then i can scan them quickly i've spent two hours trying to find one species of alien on a planet just running around i couldn't find it that i've just been trying to clear every planet i land on essentially with all the sea they were in the sea there's some fucking sharks and fish and shit that i did not encounter i hadn't seen them yet but it was just this funny thing where like that's how i spent my night i was like i tried for 30 minutes couldn't find anything i just had to be like i am dedicating my evening to discovering this fucking species
Starting point is 00:21:29 of alien that i know is here because it tells you if you're in the wrong biome or not it is in this biome but i i don't know where it is and the fucking little grubs i don't know if you've seen like those stupid little worms that float around in that game where they crawl. They crawl everywhere. They're always blue. So like after I'd say it, probably the 90-ish minute mark, I found one of those randomly on a hill and I got so excited. It was like, that's why I haven't been able to find this.
Starting point is 00:21:58 It's just a tiny, tiny little grub and it was useless. It had nothing to do with anything. It's terrible. I bought a i bought a house last night my first house in aquila city which i don't know if you've been there but it's like a big sprawling kind of city you know how a lot of the cities stack like there's a like there's a sub level and then like a sub sub level what aquila city it's just all sprawl like urban sprawl like houston and uh i they offered me the opportunity to buy a house and I thought yeah fuck it I don't
Starting point is 00:22:26 really like Aquila City but I'll buy a house here just to see what's up and I bought a house and I spent like a half an hour decorating it and moving stuff around and figuring out where to put my snow globes and shit and then I went outside and I ran and I did a mission and then I turned around to go back home and realized I had no idea where I bought that house. And I don't know if it's because my quest marker is fucked up or if it's just the way the game works. But there was nothing pointing me to my house. And it took me about 30 minutes of running around Aquila City checking doors until I found out where I was. Just straight going, nope, that's not it. Nope, that's not it.
Starting point is 00:23:01 God damn it. Nope, that's not it. That doesn't look familiar. God damn it nope that's not it that doesn't look familiar god damn it and now be honest i think the first time i played skyrim i had the similar thing when i eventually bought the house in white run because uh i expected to say like my house or my home or something but it just says like breeze home or something so i was running around looking at all the doors i was like breeze home that's not it and i just couldn't find it for ages it's like they expect you to really know where you live yeah i they're all like
Starting point is 00:23:28 traits and stuff you can have i went with you start with a house so i started the game 125 000 in debt assuming that was the only way to own a home in the game that was a false assumption i have a massive regret and starting in the whole 125,000 credits. Yeah, especially because I bought my house for 45 grand. What? 45 grand? Yeah, that's how much the house on Aquila City costs, 45 grand. Oh, my God. I'm never even going to use the house.
Starting point is 00:23:56 It's just empty. It's for people that like customizing things. That's not how I play. I just thought it was the only way to get a house. God damn it. That sucks. I have parents Gavin is wonderful
Starting point is 00:24:10 You chose the parents perk You fucking loser You didn't pick parents I pick parents and a lot of the time I'll be like On important missions and I'll be like talking to all my Consolation friends And then my parents will just be there they'll be like oh hi how you doing how you doing at work i'm like i'm like my mom embarrassing me you're mocking him jeff you have no idea what those parents will do for you okay there's a dad, he's deep in the poker world. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:46 Do you have parents, too? Of course! Of course I went with parents. Oh, my lord. Why wouldn't you go with parents? I got plenty in the real world. I don't need fake parents. Yeah, but I want a good one. So, this is my...
Starting point is 00:25:00 This game's a real fantasy for you. Oh, man. Have you ever seen a little bit of my world? I have. I've seen his character. I've seen the name. Great name. What is your name?
Starting point is 00:25:14 Dark Bastard II. Nice. Because in Skyrim, I played a dark elf, and I just called him Dark Bastard. And I just feel like they're related. Andrew, what's your guy's name? I think it's just Andrew I don't have a fun I should have went Johnny Caviar that would have been the better
Starting point is 00:25:31 oh that's a great name what about you Jeff I made the oldest character I could make uh and like liver spot shock white hair big bushy mustache and i named him uh lil jeffy i adventure around the universe as lil jeffy so your starfield characters are dark bastard the second lil jeffy and andrew that's yeah yeah yep did you see the the list of names that the robot i got i got a lot of messages about the fact that your robot you get called captain whatever by the robot you have on your crew it's like the first crew member you get and one of the available options is f*** face
Starting point is 00:26:13 are you serious? yeah it says it within the game oh I had no idea so if you name your character f*** face it will call you captain f*** face there's also apples in the game that are called cosmic apples i saw that yeah yeah i wonder if i wonder if it has to be one word though otherwise he'd probably call you captain face yeah there'd be a bleep otherwise
Starting point is 00:26:33 i think that it's a holdover thing from like uh the last fallout game not 76 the one before it four uh i think i think that was a name that you could use also. So that's like a little thing. What was that bloke? What's the robot you have at the beginning of Fallout 4? Jeeves, Jops, Jumps, Otis. Jeeves? What's his name?
Starting point is 00:26:56 Fallout 4. I thought he had like a real human name. But yeah, he calls you by the name you type in if it's on the list. It's my favorite Bethesda game, I think. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm engaged in the world and in a way that i haven't been that's thinking about because i love fallout 3 in the fallout games i never really played skyrim i think what i like so much more about starfield is even though fallout is like codsworth yeah thanks dicksworth great call um even though like fallout is such
Starting point is 00:27:22 an extreme version of earth it's like you're dealing with someone without flesh like it's still grounded in our reality as opposed to starfield and in space it feels like so much more is possible and i can encounter anything essentially on any mission it's just so much more mystery and intrigue in my exploration of those worlds i jumped into a new system and i got contacted by a ship that was nearby asking about my extended warranty. Yeah, so did I. Did you pay for a warranty thing?
Starting point is 00:27:53 I didn't have enough cash at the time. I wanted to get the ultra executive premium plan or whatever for $200,000. Yeah, so he only offers you up to what you have. And I have 135,000 credits. I haven't paid off my mortgage yet, but I'm about to do it. And then I encountered him, and he offered me $100,000 ship insurance,
Starting point is 00:28:11 which I wanted just to see what would happen, but then it would completely reset my mortgage process. So I didn't take it. He just flew away. But I want to get the top tier one as well. I had a moment today where I, when I was playing at lunch, where I was following up one of the main missions,
Starting point is 00:28:30 you know, to find the artifacts. And I went to the eye for the first time. Have y'all ever been to that place? Yeah. And they have those tubes that you can walk around on the left and the right that are fully glass. Yeah, and there's like a mop and a pile of trash at the end of each one. Yeah, and like a note on the one on the right
Starting point is 00:28:45 you should pick up. But you walk in and it's kind of like when you go through those enclosures at the aquarium where you're walking in like a tube and there's sharks swimming all around you and you feel like super immersed. And I just stopped and I was looking out at space and as I was doing it, a ship came by
Starting point is 00:29:02 and then it warped away and then another ship came by and i after like three minutes i realized i was just standing there just like watching ships go in and out of orbit around me and i was just i forgot that i was playing the game i was just in like just sucked into the they do such a great job of making the world feel alive yeah and it's this it's such a subtle touch like cyberpunk kind of looks the same but it just feels so the npcs will just feel like such empty-headed drones in comparison to starfield it's great yeah it's a really really really great video game cold turkey may be great on sandwiches but there's a better way to break your bad habits
Starting point is 00:29:48 and we're not talking about some weird mind voodoo from your crazy neighbor which i've had a lot of i've never had a mind voodoo crazy neighbor but i've had neighbors that would destroy walls i've had neighbors that uh had affairs and like very public ways, weird garden vibe neighbor. I've had all sorts of weird neighbors, all from one house, weirdly enough. It was like a weird house magnet for people. But anyway, that's not important.
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Starting point is 00:35:36 Hey, I got a question for y'all. Yeah, I was listening to Howard Stern the other day and they were playing some some. I don't know if you guys know this, but a lot of Howard Stern fans, they'll yell Baba Booey at sporting events, like in golf, or in tennis to try to get heard, or in baseball, or whatever. And I got to thinking, now I'm not saying that anybody, like regulation listeners or comment leaders should ever do this. I'm not insinuating that at all, I really am not. But I was wondering, if we had something like that, what would it be?
Starting point is 00:36:02 What would our Baba Booey, what would be the f*** face Baba Booey eat the pencil yeah or eric's email address eric's email address is a good one just email uh jeff's boss at eric.com or whatever the fuck that email was there you go jeff's boss yeah either pencil i think is perfect because that's that's got the deepest lore in the podcast i think i like that i was also thinking somebody screaming you got caviar would be pretty funny or just johnny caviar in general but yeah i agree eat the pencil seems to make the most sense but i don't know i'd never i just i i just uh i hadn't thought of i don't know what our version of that would be the same legs or like length of history but imagining a crowd yelling ham fan
Starting point is 00:36:47 at somebody who has no idea what it means is really funny to me i barely remember what that means there's a license plate somewhere yeah jeff loved the license plate hey i'm had a ham fan plate i just like imagine someone getting ready to take a shot in golf and then the entire crowd just starts chanting ham fan Fan and they have no idea why it's so funny sounds like such an insult You ham fan I Gave you guys some homework. I don't know if you've done it. I'm not sure if you want to touch on that yet.
Starting point is 00:37:27 What are your thoughts? Jeff was stressed about it. Oh, man. Well, you took the easy one. Oh, I took the easy one? Yeah. Can we talk about that Gavin had this idea and then flew to a different country
Starting point is 00:37:40 and he could have given us a week to prep, but instead decided to give us an hour? The only reason we even did it is because i overheard it when emily was listening to the episode and i thought kevin never gave us the stupid prompts and i asked about it and then i immediately regretted asking about it so this was based on uh my game as a kid called punchlining where i would just say the ends of jokes that weren't real in front of people we were walking past and all my friends would laugh and make it seem like i was really funny to strangers even though there was no real joke and um apparently i was gonna come up with some punch lines and you guys had to make the
Starting point is 00:38:13 jokes figure out what the joke was uh so i've given you the homework but i also preface this by saying i don't know well i was looking at these prompts having absolutely no idea what I would do. I don't know how you get anything usable out of these. Well, I also would challenge based off these punchlines that anyone thought you were funny as they walked by. I don't think that that would be the assessment they would have
Starting point is 00:38:36 in hearing what these punchlines are. Well, I was like 13, so we all thought we were very funny, but I assume no one was even paying attention. It's a funny bit, but I don't think anyone who passed you walked by and thought, wow, that guy's funny. That was nailing it.
Starting point is 00:38:50 I bet one person did. I bet it worked on one person. I would like to know who they are. Who's the one person that was deceived? They're probably not still alive. This was 20 years ago, 25 years ago, he did that. It was a little old lady who thought oh he seems like a young a good young lad and now look everyone's laughing he must be
Starting point is 00:39:11 the like he's delightful what a little comedian and she's she's you know she's passed on since then but she was lovely woman should i say should i say what they're the punchlines were yes please wait what no wait what what what What? Why would you do that? Because then we would have to hear what you came up with as the joke. I thought the whole point would be to say the joke and then they would hear the punchline and the joke as opposed to you saying the punchline
Starting point is 00:39:35 and then us telling a joke for a punchline that has already been said. That feels backwards. I mean, it's your thing. We'll do whatever you want to do. I just assumed that... I don't know which way we should do it. Well, this is your bit. Eric.
Starting point is 00:39:47 Eric, help. I mean, the way that Gavin was going to do it, I thought that it was going to be he gives you the punchline and then you guys go backwards and write the joke and it leads to the punchline. So there's a build that you're going to. But Andrew's saying, what if we tell the whole joke? And then when it's punchline time Gavin
Starting point is 00:40:05 delivers the punchline is never going to get a laugh so I think we should do it that way oh none of these are getting a laugh anyway you don't know the source material I also didn't intend for Gavin to deliver the punchline you wrote but but you wrote you wrote the punchline I think you should deliver the punchline I regret I regret asking you your opinion I actually like that idea. I mean, doesn't that make sense? No. I mean, it doesn't.
Starting point is 00:40:34 It is sort of an odd thing for a person to tell 95% of the joke and then hand off the punchline. To be fair, Gavin wrote the punchline. Yeah. He did. I was just going to read the punchlines, and then we would go to your jokes. I was just going to read the punchlines and then we would go to your jokes. I mean, if we're putting this in the world of reality, Gavin does have a point in which if somebody wrote a comedian a joke,
Starting point is 00:40:50 they don't get prompted in the crowd to swing it home. But I like the idea of Gavin saying the punchline to these jokes. Okay, we'll do it however you want. As long as you have a way that you can like... Well, it's your bit. It's your decision.
Starting point is 00:41:04 You should go with it whatever you want gavin you got a lot of choices here yeah i'm overwhelmed andrew tell your joke well i have to tell my joke well is that what you want gavin uh let me pull up the punch lines i tell you what the audience wants the audience wants a decision so the punch lines were like uh two of them were like anecdotal jokes and the third one was just like a Set up line punchline sort of joke Jeff you tell your joke No, I called I said you tell your joke first first Yeah, I'll tell you why you have to tell your joke first cuz you you pick the punchline you
Starting point is 00:41:37 Did you know I did claim to a punchline? No I did This is gonna be I can't wait I genuinely I think this stupid bit. This is going to be, I can't wait. I genuinely, I think we're 172 in. I think this is genuinely the first time that I can't wait to see what the audience reaction to something is going to be. This is going to be a disaster. I think that's extreme. I just want it to be known. I didn't pick one.
Starting point is 00:42:02 I said I had one in mind for one. But if you wanted it, it Jeff you could have it that's not a declaration that is just me saying I had something prepared you said if nobody cares I want this one and who's going to be rude and say I care I was like okay you can have it but you took you took the best one
Starting point is 00:42:17 the easiest one maybe not the best one but the easiest one so please show us what you did with it I want that to be my closer so I'm going to go with the easiest one. So please, show us what you did with it. I want that to be my closer. So I'm going to go with the other one. So how we divided this is I have one,
Starting point is 00:42:35 Jeff has one, and then we're both doing one. So do you want to do the one we're both doing? Oh, I couldn't come up with one for that one. Which one is that one? That's a good question. Which one is it? Is it one, two, or three? Two. I didn't do one. I had a premise, but I couldn't come up with one for that one. Which one is that? That's a good question. Which one is it? Is it one, two, or three? Two.
Starting point is 00:42:47 I didn't do one. I had a premise, but I couldn't get there. Well, I also have a premise, and I couldn't get there. I'll tell you something. I've never wanted a bit to be cut out more than this bit right now. Yeah, but you can't say that because you'll turn the audience against us. Yeah. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:43:02 What do you mean? Are you ready for this joke? I want to hear it. Okay. Now, Gavin, you're going to yell the punchline. Okay. Because I'll really spice it up. Okay.
Starting point is 00:43:18 So a couple, a couple goes in to a store to get their passport photos done. Okay. And the she has feathered hair and they're going in. They get their photos done. They walk up to the guy behind the counter and they're like, hey, I would like to get some passport photos done. And the guy thought that was a little bit strange because he just it's an unusual situation. But he said, OK, it's twenty dollars for both of you. And so he he took he gets the guy in and you got to do the thing. You can't smile or whatever.
Starting point is 00:43:45 And he takes the photo and then and then he goes and he gets the other person ready. And it's to make sure they understand how to sit in the chair and all that. And they don't know if to say smile or not. And then the guy the guy comments, I've never taken a passport photo for a goose before. Oh, you're doing that one that's not a goose that's my wife but that's my joke oh christ
Starting point is 00:44:13 oh my god you were supposed to be this is the best thing this is literally the best thing we've ever done why would you tell my joke I said one two or, and you said not the first one. Was that the first one?
Starting point is 00:44:29 Don't do the first one. That's mine. You said not the first one. Yeah, don't do the first one. It's mine. I thought you meant I didn't do one for the first one. Not don't do the first one. No, I said not. Well, Jeff, why don't you do it now no no you do it
Starting point is 00:44:48 okay now so two dude geese were uh were supposed to be at work one day but they decided they wanted to play goose hooky and so they were hanging out by the pond they were checking out all the hot lady geese because it was just about mating season you know and uh i'll be honest geese are misogynistic i'm not uh i'm not i'm not a goose i want that to be clear this isn't me these are the geese talking and uh but you know this is a geese are they're they're macho they tend to be they're i'll be honest geese are kind of dicks uh i'm not a big fan of geese even less of a fan of swans and uh anyway they're saying stuff like oh look at the webs on that chick's feet. And, whoa, check out her tail feathers. Well, goose number one, his wife was running goose errands that day.
Starting point is 00:45:28 And she happened to see him on the other side of the pond playing hooky. So she thought, I'm going to get this guy. He should be at work right now. And so she walks over there and gets angrier and angrier. And with good cause, too. Because here he is, ogling all these other geese. But Mrs. Goose was incredibly beautiful as far as ganders go. She was extremely shapely and had the softest feathers you've ever seen.
Starting point is 00:45:51 So she comes up behind him and she taps him on the shoulder while he's in mid comment. And he and Goose number two, who's never met his wife, spin around. Goose number one, his his goose mouth drops. He doesn't know what to do. Goose number two points at her chest and says, oh says oh my god look at the goose bumps on that one and goose number one says that's not a goose that's my wife there you go so that's the only one everyone did no i want it on record that jeff replied to the text saying i've got number two. He specifically declared he wanted two. Yeah, but then I changed my mind.
Starting point is 00:46:28 Not my fault. So no one did number two? So no one did two? Number two's punchline? Oh, have you done one? No, I couldn't get there, but I had a premise. I'll tell you after. Number two's punchline was,
Starting point is 00:46:40 beats me, he wasn't even wearing them. I was trying to write a joke there about a kid who kept jacking off into his tube socks and having to keep asking mom for more tube socks and she didn't understand where they were going because he wasn't wearing them. She never saw them.
Starting point is 00:46:52 But I just couldn't figure out. I got lost with him trying to bury the tube socks in the backyard and I just... It's really funny to me that that's what you had in your head
Starting point is 00:47:00 when you declared, oh, I got this. I got two. And then it just never... It never went past that genuinely my favorite are you ready we would have breezed by this if jeff didn't over i think i don't think any of us remember this bit so now are we doing joke number three am i closing what was your premise
Starting point is 00:47:24 for that when you said you had one as well. No, I didn't. I did the first one. I thought you'd do two, and then we both do one of them. I guess one, even though we didn't communicate that. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:36 I have tears running down my face listening to that. Well, Gavin, you gotta get ready for the punchline. This is so fucking funny. I love this. I love the way it's structured. I love that everyone got homework. I love the way it's structured. I love that everyone got homework. I love that no one likes it. This is genuinely everything
Starting point is 00:47:50 that this podcast is about. It's fantastic. Okay, so this is the premise for the third joke. Is that we're in a bar and the door swings open, walks in, sits down next to a guy and immediately says to the guy weakening economy convinces central bank to hold key rate for now.
Starting point is 00:48:12 And the guy says, what? And it says back to him, the Bank of Canada decided to hold its key interest rate steady on Wednesday and been mounting evidence the economy is slowing. But the central bank isn't declaring victory yet, as it remains cautious to not fuel speculation about rate cuts. With recent evidence that excess demand in the economy is easing, and given the lagging effects of monetary policy, governing counsel decided to hold the policy interest rate at 5%. The central bank said in a news release, however,
Starting point is 00:48:43 the Bank of Canada is keeping the door open to more rate hikes, noting its governing council is still concerned about inflationary pressures and is ready to raise interest rates further if needed. Canada's inflation rate was 3.3% in July, ticking up from 2.8% in the previous month. Although inflation has slowed considerably since last summer, it's expected to hover around 3% for months to come. The central bank acknowledges that inflation will even likely flare up due to higher gasoline prices before coming back down.
Starting point is 00:49:17 BMO chief economist Douglas Porter said the bank of Canada's decision to hold its key rate was widely expected given recent weak economic data. Now the focus is turning to what the central bank might do as next it wrestles inflation down while trying not to send the economy into a deeper slowdown than necessary. They've clearly left the door open for possibility that they might move again, Porter said,
Starting point is 00:49:41 but our view is that provided growth remains relatively calm and core inflation does continue to slowly come down, that the Bank of Canada is probably done hiking interest rates. Statistics Canada reported last week, real gross domestic product contracted in the second quarter, which convinced forecasters that another rate hike would be unlikely. The Canadian economy has entered a period of weaker growth, which is needed to relieve price pressures, the central bank said. Canada's labor market has almost lost some of its steam.
Starting point is 00:50:11 The unemployment rate has been on the rise for three consecutive months. Porter says economic growth will likely continue to stall over the next few quarters, making a recession a possibility. We may not fall into the official recession definition, but it's going to be a close run for sure, Porter said. Reaction from Canadian commercial banks on Wednesday was nearly uniform. The central bank is unlikely to raise interest rates again,
Starting point is 00:50:37 despite its hawkish tone Wednesday. But in order to keep inflation expectations in check, economists to Nguyen the accounting and consultancy firm RSM Canada said the Bank of Canada will likely hold its key interest rate at 5% at 2024. A premature rate cut could send businesses and consumers out burrowing and spending risk,-accelerating inflation again the guy said in a statement now the guy replied well i didn't know any of that to which the the response to that was biden cancels oil and gas lease in arctic refuge uh juno alaska in an aggressive move that angered republicans the biden administration canceled the seven remaining oil and gas leases in Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge on Wednesday,
Starting point is 00:51:34 overturning sales held in the Trump administration's waning days and proposed stronger protections against... Oh, you ruined the joke. Oh, you weren't done? No. Stepped on my punchline. Sorry. Sorry, I wouldn't want to...
Starting point is 00:51:55 Go on, keep going. I lost my place, so I'll have to start from the beginning. In an aggressive move that angered Republicans, the Biden administration cancelled the seven remaining oil and gas leases. I thought it'd be something like, you know, something about running a story. I don't know. A newspaper with legs. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:52:13 Like a real quickster. Like, what do you call Pete Davidson at the beach? A newspaper with legs. Because he's got all those shitty tattoos that are running all over his body. Something like that. That was ideal. No, so this, what i did is i bought a newspaper and i was just gonna i was just reading the stories of the paper right and i was
Starting point is 00:52:32 just gonna keep doing this and then eventually the guy would get mad and then the bartender would say hey you can't get mad at him he's a newspaper with legs because he's gonna i was gonna read the whole paper and then say the next day it happened again but it was the same stories because he's gonna i was gonna read the whole paper and then say the next day it happened again but it was the same stories because he's he got printed on that day just be the same thing every that was the whole you got pretty cut it off well sorry i'm sorry to cut it off um yeah i would love to have heard not even listen the people are gonna want to know about felony conviction convictions vacated for u.s navy officers and bribery scandal that they'll never know well will this episode need a credit
Starting point is 00:53:06 to the person who wrote that newspaper? It was like 20%. Oh, the smileys! I never got around to mention it to you guys, but I cooked these for this episode so I can try them. Oh, how are they? I don't know. I haven't eaten them yet. They've been going cold
Starting point is 00:53:22 while you've been reading the newspaper. They've been going cold or even well even Did you salt them are you doing any condiments? What's the no? They're just I'm just having a plane I'm having a pure. I want to try it right now. Should we see you either yeah, no condiments on You know me Okay, here we go It's it was warm 30 minutes ago. We'll see It was warm 30 minutes ago. We'll see.
Starting point is 00:53:47 It's a smiley face. The move to do typically is some ketchup in the eyes. Millie texted me today and she said, what the fuck are those? And I was... She said they look like deep fried scrub daddies. Did you apologize for preventing her from experiencing them as a child? No.
Starting point is 00:54:03 Oh. Doesn't taste like anything. Huh. Well, could it possibly be because you didn't season them in any way? Uh, I guess. I mean, I don't season
Starting point is 00:54:19 tater tots so they taste good out of the fucking oven. I'm jealous you're eating one of those. I can always feel what that tastes like. Well, you have a bag. Yeah, I didn't cook them up, though. That's fair. It's okay. It's probably better hot.
Starting point is 00:54:35 It's probably better hot than the ketchup. It's better before the jokes. When they were hot, before the newspaper, they were probably pretty good. So are you blaming Gavin for that for sidetracking your bit no not at all I just wish that I just wish that I'd eaten them
Starting point is 00:54:55 when they were warmer because I I let the episode get away from me I was gonna do it right out the gate and then I just got distracted it's nobody's fault but mine anyway they're like whatever they're six six and then I just got distracted. It's nobody's fault but mine. Anyway, they're like, whatever. They're six. Six?
Starting point is 00:55:12 I apologize for the worst bit in face history. Oh, I think people disagree. Yeah, I was going to ask you guys. Do you think this was a legit... Do you think this was our first bad episode? No. Oh, okay. I mean, do you think this is our first bad episode? No. Okay, I mean, do you think this was a bad episode? No. Okay.
Starting point is 00:55:32 Do you think this was our best episode? Well, I don't know because I laughed a lot, but I don't know if that's a good parameter. Yeah. I'm thinking about someone driving to work and they're listening to Andrew read the newspaper like it's NPR. And it's a comedy podcast where you guys talked about Starfield, Baba Booey and Potato Smilies. But we also heard a lot of the newspaper.
Starting point is 00:55:57 Listen, that wasn't my choice. Gavin made the punchline. I was just flying through. Hey, let me ask you guys a question. There's something I was thinking about the other day Let me see what you guys think about it What do you think the most important letter in the alphabet is? I have an answer I'm going to convince you You said P as in Paul? No T
Starting point is 00:56:15 I feel like R is pretty important R, Eric? You know what I'm going to go I was thinking a consonant I'm going with a vowel I'm going with A. I was thinking a consonant. I'm going with a vowel. I'm going with A. Okay. A is a good one.
Starting point is 00:56:27 I think it's arguably, I think it's definitely more important than the other two. I think the correct answer is E. And here's why. Have you ever said the alphabet? You can't even pronounce most letters without E. You've got B, C, D, E, G, H, O, J, K. Well, that's A.
Starting point is 00:56:50 N. He was going so well, and it was going great. S. He was really crushing it, and then he got an H, and it really threw him. V. Oh. He almost, I thought he was going to say, I thought he was going to say, Z. I'm like, I.
Starting point is 00:57:03 You can't pronounce it. You can't even have like 16 letters without the letter E. It's woven into the fabric of all other letters. It is the Trojan horse of letters. So if we had, what are the, bless you.
Starting point is 00:57:17 What are the letters that we can use that don't contain E's? Like if we had to go E-less, what would our bank of letters be? A. I guess not F. F has an E sound in it. H.
Starting point is 00:57:30 Like F. That's an E. H. Yeah. I. I agree. J. K.
Starting point is 00:57:38 M. N. M. M definitely has an E in it. M. I guess if you say M or M. M. M is an E, yeah. N. O. O is has an E. M. I guess if you say M or M. M. M is an E, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:46 N. O. O is a good one. P. Q. Yeah, there's no good. Yeah, not a lot. Dregs of letters.
Starting point is 00:57:53 Not great. I don't know why, but it just popped into my head. It's weird that you need letters to pronounce other letters. What if we try and come up with the longest E-less word? Well, I think Google could help us with that real fast. What is the longest word with no E? Definitely. Transubstantial.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Transubstantialist. Yeah, but that's not. Substantialist. Oh, transubstantialist. It's without an E sound. Yeah, and T has an E. Yeah. Yeah, you know you're right.
Starting point is 00:58:32 Train. Train. What? Crap. I'm trying to think of a word without an E sound. Rhythm? Train? Rhythm.
Starting point is 00:58:44 Yeah, but that's still not the right, that's not using the right letters. Not the right letters. Right. I get what you're saying. Oh, I see. Without using any of the alphabet, I thought we were just doing a long no E sound word. I understand now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:55 Yeah, all the shit that Jeff just said. It definitely, if there was going to be an election amongst the letters, it has the most supporters. Oh, dude, are you kidding? The other letters fucking lie on E in a large part. Can you imagine if there was no E, how much fucking heavy lifting A would have to do to pick up the slack? A, bae, say. Day. A. A. A. gay a a
Starting point is 00:59:29 gay gay hey oh my god a newspaper with legs okay this is now a fever dream. Beats me. He wasn't even
Starting point is 00:59:50 wearing them. Did you ever use any of those, Gavin? Were those originals or were those from your past hits? I think I used the top one, but the other two are fresh. Fresh is a word. Well, I didn't really have to change them because I don't think we ever walked past the same person twice. This might be the first time i've ever bought a newspaper in my life today do you think it'll be the last time uh sadly yeah probably i had a i had a thought
Starting point is 01:00:16 about you gavin the other day oh oh yeah i uh you know i've been i've been reading a lot lately because somebody got me a kindle and so uh and i've also been watching a lot lately because somebody got me a Kindle. And I've also been watching a lot of documentaries. I've been really focused on or really interested in early 20th century explorers, like people that explored the Amazon or the desert or the Antarctica or whatever. And it struck me, and I'm sure a lot of this has to do with colonization and wealth and the opportunity that wealth provides but it struck me that over the last like 200 years most of the great explorers or the most successful explorers in the world have been british or from the uk right like the people
Starting point is 01:00:58 that have made all the major discoveries in the amazon and the antarctica and the himalayas and they're almost always british almost as if they had like a monopoly on adventure and bravery. But then there's you. And that was my thought. It's like these people, these British men would submit themselves to like all manner of danger from the environment,
Starting point is 01:01:21 from animals, from man. They're fighting stuff like dengue fever and crocodiles. And then there's you, a guy who can't wash dishes without gloves. How did that happen? I mean, I can do it. It just makes my hands feel funny. Same with emptying a fresh dishwasher.
Starting point is 01:01:40 If the plates and glasses are still hot, they're too grippy. You know, there's like a weird grip factor that happens that makes me feel funny. I think what's impressive about Gavin is how many states have you been to like 30 of the states? 26 or something. So the problem with him is that he's well traveled he just hasn't done anything in any of these places he hasn't discovered anything well what's left to discover look i'm born i was born in the very very small window of human history where you can't explore shit all right it's it's everything on earth is mapped you know maybe aside from the ocean and it's right before everyone pisses off and explores space i've got nothing if if i wanted to be an explorer i was born at the at the complete
Starting point is 01:02:31 wrong time and it's bullshit hold on a second do you want to be an explorer how many how much of the earth i've also i've discovered like 50 new species in starfield it really doesn't feel hard i'm questioning your your work ethic here. You think I just haven't made the effort? I think so. I don't think you've tried. Well, I mean, I've got my mushrooms and my slime, I think, potentially there.
Starting point is 01:02:52 That's true. Hey. Oh, dude. Yeah, but that's in your backyard. We've seen the slime in person. Yeah, it's fucking. Yeah, we've seen the slime. It's a bit crusty from all the heat.
Starting point is 01:03:00 Yes, it is. It's not. It doesn't look good. It doesn't look like it's supposed to be there, and it doesn't look like something that you should just leave alone. But Gavin seems determined to ignore it. Look, if I was an explorer,
Starting point is 01:03:10 I'm not there to displace the people already there or mess with the ecosystem. Of course not. Well, that's not very British of you now, is it? Not really. Well, I'm Italian. So, according to... Yeah, they were much better. They're classically known for not displacing they have a much better record.
Starting point is 01:03:26 Classically known for not displacing. Not much better. Gavin, you'll be happy to know, and maybe this will awaken something inside of you, deep inside of you from your ancestry, but I'm going to guess not. 65% of the planet remains unexplored. Yeah, but is it under the ocean?
Starting point is 01:03:45 Most of it, but not all of it. It says most of it. That means there's probably at least 10%. Okay, can you put a... I'll walk around and you'll let me know if there's anything new to discover in this biome. Yeah. Because I don't want to be looking in the wrong place
Starting point is 01:03:59 for a shark that's not on land. I think maybe let's start small before you start crossing the ocean or going down to the bottom of the ocean. Let's start small. Deal with your slime. See where the slime takes you, and then we'll sort of figure out
Starting point is 01:04:15 if you need to go to the Mariana Trench or something. Okay. Yeah. Baby steps, I guess. You should do a slime scan. Hit left bumper on your slime. Yeah, but then I'll only be at 13%, I think, and I need to find more slimes. And you've only got the one.
Starting point is 01:04:33 You're screwed. Next time you travel somewhere, can you just hold your controller and just walk around clicking left bumper going, scanned it, got it. 88%. Great winners, Explorer, Gavin Free. You've even got the name for Explorer. walk around clicking left bumper going scanned it got it 88 great winners explorer gavin free you've even got the name for explorer yeah yeah you were born with us within explorer silver spoon in your mouth when with the weather changing soon uh as we're in uh mid-september i think when this
Starting point is 01:05:01 comes out uh like late september when the weather changes, do you think your slime is really going to come alive for you in like the back kind of half of the year or what? Yeah, I think as soon as the rain starts hitting and maybe the grass is all, you know, like dewy, I think the slime will reactivate and start spreading again. Maybe I'll time-lapse it. Ooh, that's interesting. I would love to see time-lapse.
Starting point is 01:05:24 What an episode. I don't think what an episode. That kind of makes you think it was good. I think it was good. I had a good time. You laughed a lot for someone who's not having a good time. I had a great time. I just, I'm trying to imagine it from an audience perspective.
Starting point is 01:05:37 Dude, your response to my question was very fucking funny. Very good. That's definitely a highlight of an episode right there. Okay. I think, I think that's a good place to end it too, because we're kind of leaving on a high note. They're going to hopefully forget about when Andrew read the newspaper for
Starting point is 01:05:52 like four minutes. Hey, well, there you have it. You've listened to another episode of the face podcast. How much fun was that? What do you think? Was this the best episode we've ever done?
Starting point is 01:06:03 Early reports are no, but you don't never know. We'll see. It could be like the election. Who knows how many votes are going to come in at 3 a.m. We'll see you next time. Six teams bring their best recipes to. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:06:18 Thousands of hungry of patrons for weekend feast of ribs cooked by world class rib teams. Wash down. No, we, cider, and wine. I'm going to be entertained by live music from local bands at Esquimalt Rib Fest this year. The event, established in 2013, boasts six big rig barbecue companies, eight
Starting point is 01:06:40 local craft brewers, and more than 20 live performances on stage. The tasty fun runs from Friday to Sunday at Bullen Park. The event has such a happy vibe to it. It still has the feel of an outside house party in someone's backyard. I'm trying to figure out how to
Starting point is 01:06:56 kick him. Chair of the Ribfest Society, which hosts the event. The event is limited to six barbecue companies with Smoke Dem Bones, a company from Kamloops Joining the roster this year in the spirit of friendly competition. No one else remember Members of them trying to read through my there's no other choice papers full yeah
Starting point is 01:07:20 ribbers members of the rib teams bring their best ribs and members of the rib teams bring their best ribs and best rib sauces to the festival for both a judging panel and bragging rights if they win the People's Choice Award. Look for newcomers Hey guys, Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face There's a new achievement in Gyms of
Starting point is 01:07:37 War. Gavin has a terrible reputation Who is the most competitive? Are Twiglets delicious? The boys are alone. And once again Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** It. Friday night, close your eyes and you will swear that you were hearing Tweet with Max Edwoods. We're also lucky to get Juno Award winning Jack Semple and his cover band, The Horn on saturday there will be free children's activities local arts with almost 20 charitable and commercial vendors uh the volunteer run festival has in conduction
Starting point is 01:08:13 with the eskimo firefighters charitable foundation and seven local non-profit groups raised more than 1 million over the past nine years

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