F**kface - Dick Got Shot By a Laser // Will Andrew Betray Gavin? [113]
Episode Date: July 27, 2022Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about trying to get Eric again, Geoff's vasectomy, someone wrecked Gavin's jetski, stolen tennis balls from a wrecked car, CPAP fart update, insult grid socks, Survive Bl...ock Island paranoia, the screen matched baseball, and crisps gauntlet. Download the full audio at: https://bit.ly/3ataI0e Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to ffacebits@gmail.com Sponsored by Better Help (http://betterhelp.com/face) and Fum (http://breathefum.com/face + code Face) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast.
My name is Jeff Ramsey and with me as always, Andrew Payton and Gavin Free.
This is episode 113, 4 year 3 chapter 1 and who else is here who did I say what you said you said Andrew Gavin I'm gonna be honest I was this was this
fell in the 30% I wasn't listening oh I guess Nick and Eric are here thanks for
showing up Dickhead Gavin this is arguably worse than your first one.
I was trying to get
someone to serve it up, and I was
trying to serve it up myself, and I spiked it into the ground.
Alright. Hold on, let's try again.
With me as always, Gavin
Free, Andrew Panton, of course
Nick is always here. Oh, look who showed up today, Eric.
Good to see you, buddy.
Oh, you kind of set it in the...
Yeah, you didn't set him up. You just followed through.
Who do we have with us?
Let's see.
We got Gavin and Andrew, as always.
And then, of course, Nick and...
Oh, Eric.
No, that's still...
I don't think you understand.
Yeah, I think it's still...
I think you're still too much in one direction.
You're still missing.
Okay, okay.
We're moving on.
My name is Jeff Ramsey.
And with me, as always,
Gavin Free, Andrew Panton,
Nick and Eric.
Look who decided to show
up!
Thanks, Andrew. You're welcome.
I got you.
That was like pulling teeth.
That was worse than the first one.
I don't know how that happened.
I was rather so... I thought, we didn't mention it
between episodes, but I was so
excited, and no one
gave it to me.
Oh, God.
Episode 113, I believe.
Right? Yeah.
Yeah, he did that already. Anyway,
so Dick got shot by a laser
or something? I don't know how any of this works.
What happened? Oh, you're talking about my, I got a vasectomy.
Yeah.
What's today?
Thursday, I got it on Tuesday morning.
And let me tell you, it's no big deal.
They said it was nothing to be worried about.
I will tell you, I made one mistake.
So if I can provide a little bit of knowledge
for any prospective vasectomies,
the way it went down is, by the way, I was in and out in 45 minutes. knowledge for any perspective vasectomies.
The way it went down is,
by the way, I was in and out in 45 minutes.
It is such a non-event.
They gave me a Valium to take.
I took a Valium,
and then they were like,
you should be good to go now.
Just lay on this table.
And I was like, oh, there's nothing else?
And they're like, well, you can have laughing gas.
And I was like, that sounds great.
I'll do that. And they go, well, it's $95. And I was like, well, you can have laughing gas. And I was like, that sounds great. I'll do that. And they go, well, it's $95.
And I was like, cool.
I'll take three.
I was like, give me an order of seven laughing gas then.
So anyway, I stick a little laughing gas to my mouth.
And then I was just having a good time.
Here's what I will say.
Everything went fine.
The doctor was really cool.
The urologist, he talked a lot about jet skiing actually on lake austin so we had jet skiing to talk about uh but
then at one point he goes man you did a really shitty job shaving your balls and he didn't say
it in a like a funny way he was like really agitated and so i guess and it hurt i was like
oh man was that a fucking terrible uh, we were supposed to shave the area.
And I thought I did.
But not to his specifications.
So here's what I say.
If you're going to get a vasectomy, shave your balls really well because they don't like it.
They get annoyed.
So what was the issue?
You just missed big clumps or it was like the stubble was too long?
I guess stubble.
I don't know.
I didn't get into it.
I mean, I was on a Valium and having gas.
And he was like, he had like, you know, he'd cut my dick open and had tubes in it and stuff so um yeah so that
that's me the the hardest part of the hardest part about getting a vasectomy is the opprobrium
uh that you feed you hear from the urologist if you don't shave shave your balls well so shave
it's so hard to shave the balls.
I don't know how to do it right.
Apparently I don't either.
So I can provide you
with no guidance.
Did you go wet shave
or just a little buzz?
I shaved in the shower
with a straight razor.
I don't like to use the buzzers
because they always
like strip and hurt.
Or it's like a face razor.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's different.
Not like a cutthroat
barber one. Not like you're not sweetie-totting your balls. Yeah, I'm not going to face razor, yeah. Okay, that's different. Not like a cutthroat barber one.
Not like you're not
Sweeney Todd-ing your balls.
Yeah, I'm not trying to...
Yeah, exactly.
This isn't Gangs of New York.
I always think of that scene
in the Peter Pan Disney thing
where Smee is shaving the seagull
by accident with that cutthroat razor.
You know what I'm talking about?
No.
Like the old animated one?
Yeah, it's like sat on Captain Hook's towel
and he thinks it's his head
and then the seagull flies off
and he thinks his head went...
Oh, that's so familiar.
Yeah, it's great.
I loved it as a child.
I haven't watched that.
I'm just imagining Jeff like toweling up his balls
with a warm towel in the game.
Cracking them with a cutthroat.
I'll tell you what is a little weird
is I can feel the stitches in my balls, depending on how I sit.
And they're not painful, but it's just a weird feeling.
Try to avoid feeling your stitches.
There it is.
I don't think I've seen that in like 20 years.
It kind of, there's a little bit of balls imagery yeah that as well the way
it looks like balls clearly doing a better job than i did what a weird thing for your brain to
remember to just have that ready to go i don't know where i plucked that from so is there was
i'm gonna be honest there's somebody i wasn't listening. Part of that is a laser involved.
You get zapped.
I don't think so.
No laser.
I feel like I've heard the laser option before.
I'll be honest.
It was explained to me a bunch, but I don't I don't.
A lot of information.
That's fair.
I was probably like, here's what happened.
They explained the process to me at the time.
And I thought that makes sense.
That seems safe.
That's acceptable.
I no longer
need to remember this process and so i know that i have an incision on my unlike my shaft about the
just for my shaft of my balls touch that's got like five stitches in it and uh i know that they
went in there and they did something to my vast deference i think they like cut it in half and
cauterize it or put like some titanium caps on it like like the little ringlets that are on your shoelaces or whatever uh yeah and uh something along those lines and now i don't
make babies anymore but i gotta jizz 60 times first so and i can't i can't residue yeah you
gotta jizz like 30 times and then give them a sample and then jizz another 20 to 30 times and then give them a second sample.
And I'm not supposed to get an erection for another like six days.
So,
Oh,
cause it's bad for the skin.
Well,
I think you just don't,
I mean,
I think you might pull or tug or do something.
I don't think you're supposed to be using those parts while they heal up on
the inside too.
So,
um,
but I also haven't felt like, uh, in a few moments but yeah but for the most part it's
yeah you don't want to rip a stitch for the nick says for the most part you're just like
honestly sitting on the couch with with uh like frozen peas on my nuts wait so you have to wait
a week before you have to start taking the shots? Yeah. They want you to wait about eight to 14 days before you start popping off.
And you got to be real gentle.
That's why you also, it's also like no jet skiing for at least a month.
No bike riding for at least a month.
Holy shit.
I forgot.
I got a fucking jet skiing story to tell you, dude.
Oh, shit.
So Sunday, I went jet skiing, impromptu jet skiing story to tell you dude oh so so Sunday I went jet skiing
impromptu jet skiing when it was 113 degrees outside because Emily and I were bored to death
and we realized we were like she was like you're not gonna be able to jet ski again for like another
five or six weeks and I was like hey that's a really good point uh because I won't be able to
you know slam on my nuts and she was like let's do you want to just like get one last jet ski in before
you can't go anymore and i was like let's fucking go so we raced down there uh we knew it was going
to be hot it was brutal uh it was actually the least fun i've ever had jet skiing uh i still
had fun but it was just like so many people out there and it was so choppy and hot and it was just
like couldn't get going couldn't go faster than like 30 the whole time gav because it was so it
was so choppy like i've never usually like the
cool thing about jet skis is if it's like really choppy at like 20 30 miles an hour you get up to
50 and it just kind of goes over all that smooth yeah it was not like that it was it was not doable
um so it's actually a little stressful but here's a fucking crazy jet ski story dude when we pull up
and we and you know the the dude shows up uh with four four or six jet skis
on a trailer and then you like have the conversations and you sign the paperwork and then he like puts
you on jet skis and throws you in the water well the jet ski that you used the last time gavin in
the high five video that jet ski yeah was fucked up it was on the it was on the uh it was on the trailer and the handlebars were like hanging
off to the side and the front was all dented in and it just looked like part of the engine was
like hanging off and it looked someone wrecked my jet ski and emily goes oh my god what happened
what happened to that jet ski and he goes oh yesterday we had a whole fucking thing. Apparently, some people rented the jet skis and they were trying.
Listen, this is insane.
First off, they got into a midair collision going 40 miles an hour.
Oh, no.
And they said, yeah, we don't understand it.
This is what the jet ski guy told us.
He was like, yeah, they said like, yeah, we were only going about 40 when we hit.
So we didn't think it'd be that bad.
I don't know if you've ever been in a jet ski.
40 miles an hour in a jet ski is very fucking fast.
And the way they did this was apparently they were jumping on the same wake, like on the same wave.
And at 40 miles an hour.
So they were that close to each other.
So they were on the same wave. And so the wave hour. So they were that close to each other. So they were on the same wave.
And so the,
the wave pushed them together in the air and they collided.
And one of them broke their fucking arm and they had to be like pulled out of
the water and like medevaced out.
Oh Jesus.
That could have been us.
No,
because we're not idiots.
I mean,
we're close.
We go,
when we do high fives,
we do it at a high five miles an hour.
We do it. a high five miles an hour. We do it at a speed where the only other person who might be excited that we high fived on jet skis goes,
Oh, pretty underwhelming.
Yeah.
I don't want to make light of this because it sounds like somebody was seriously hurt.
But the entire time I was just waiting for a swan attack to be responsible for what happened.
I looked all over for the swan.
It wasn't around.
I think it was probably too hot for the swan.
But yeah,
there is proof right there. Hitting each other
at 40 miles an hour,
not a good idea.
What about 35?
We'll have to find out.
35 seems much safer to me.
That is crazy. 40?
I can't believe they're alive.
Collided in the air at 40 miles an hour
and just destroyed that fucking jet ski, dude.
I wonder what the ankle was.
I don't know.
The other one seemed fine.
I mean, I rode the other one
and it was totally fine.
So, yeah.
That's what happened to Hulk Hogan in Baywatch.
Macho Man almost killed him.
They were riding off the same wave
and they went up above
and Macho Man landed on Hulk Hogan.
He got knocked unconscious. Pamela Anderson saved Hulk Hogan I think it was probably similar to that yeah yeah I guess if we need a visual recreation of probably what
happened Baywatch is our source we got this the wrestler you go to the you go to the experts yes
I was speaking of vehicles I meant to ask this in the last one we recorded do you have a car now jeff
yeah i got my car okay your car's good it didn't get crashed again on the way
no the one the one crash was was the only crash although i will say those motherfuckers
uh it's like it couldn't be any further away from me in austin like the absolute ass into town and uh so i i uh
i made them bring it to me because i was like you guys fucking wrecked my car you can bring it to
me and they're like okay so they bring it to me they were actually nice about it i appreciate it
and then i got a call like or i got a text like two days later and they go hey we just realized
uh we have all your tennis balls we're really sorry about that we took them out of the trunk i guess and we forgot to put them back in so i ran and checked and sure have all your tennis balls. We're really sorry about that. We took them out of the trunk, I guess,
and we forgot to put them back in.
So I ran and checked, and sure enough,
all my tennis balls are gone.
I have like 60 tennis balls in my trunk
because, you know, I play tennis.
And my rackets are still there, thank God.
And he goes, do you want us to bring them by?
And I go, well, yeah, obviously.
I want my fucking tennis balls.
And he's like, okay.
And then I didn't hear anything for like five days.
And then I get another text and the guy goes,
hey, we're real busy.
I'm real sorry.
I don't know when we're going to be able
to get those tennis balls to you.
If you want to come get them.
And I was like, just bring them when you can.
I'm not driving down there.
It's your fuck up.
And they're like, oh, well, we'll see when we can.
We'll try to figure something out.
And I'm like, see that you do.
Thank you. Being firm, putting your foot down. Wreck can. We'll try to figure something out. And I'm like, see that you do. Thank you.
Being firm, putting your foot down, wreck my car and steal my tennis balls.
No, no, sir.
That's a lot of tennis balls.
It is.
It seems like I've played tennis.
I feel like I'd never have more than six.
Well, what you can do is when you start tennis, you can go to a place like Play It Again Sports
in Austin and buy a whole bunch of used tennis balls.
Got it. OK, that's what i did i greatly misunderstood tennis when i first started
playing i started playing when i was like i don't know six or something like that and i thought power
it was all about power not it's the opposite of what you want i was playing it like it was baseball
and so i just hit it as hard as i could every time it came to me i was like you with the baseballs
jeff i was hitting them at the court i was just hitting them as fast and as hard as I could every time it came to me. I was like you with the baseballs, Jeff. I was hitting them at the court. I was just
hitting them as fast and as hard as I could.
Fly out. They hated me.
I didn't play properly at all.
I would hit them out of
the court and be like, yeah, I did it. Great
job. I got so proud of myself.
Do you still play? I haven't played in a long time, no.
I don't actively play.
Does that answer your question? Probably wouldn't
do you any favors for the marathon.
No, would not be helpful.
Yeah, you got to work on those ankles.
You got to protect those ankles, man.
You got to protect those ankles.
Yeah, you got to put the bubble wrap.
You got to bubble wrap everything.
Bubble wrap the court.
I wonder how long you run in a game like tennis.
Like if you track that, what the average distance is.
Yeah, total distance.
like if you track that what the average distance is yeah total distance i imagine soccer would be the largest total distant moves per game yeah it's gonna be several miles you'd think yeah
i'd love to know how much like a star soccer player runs in distance in a season how many
marathons they do seems like google could probably answer that yeah probably i just never considered
it what do you think the the opposite of that is in the sports world dot the least amount of movement
darts is pretty good curling there's a person that doesn't they slide uh bowling um golf is
probably the the most distance with least effort going from place to place. Yeah, and you're just walking down the course. Eric wrote, tennis match four to five miles.
Wow.
Volleyball?
Not volleyball.
There's a lot of movement in that.
No, no, tetherball.
I meant tetherball.
I said volleyball.
I meant tetherball.
Oh, yeah, there's not a whole hell of a lot of movement in tetherball.
What, that's just the ball and the string?
Yeah, where it has to go around.
You're trying to get it to loop.
Hey, Gavin, I just remembered.
I was supposed to ask this last episode.
I wrote it down.
How are your CPAP farts going and have you recorded any
no well I didn't take it to
England
so I immediately voided all of my
insurance oh no
because it
took me over the not that I finished
any full nights anyway but I just thought because I
because I am now paying for it
I haven't bothered to use it again yet I'm gonna try a full a full face mask instead of the uh just under the
nose one that was the suggestion from a lot of the sea pappas out there the sea papas uh please keep
us updated i had a situation the other day where i was trying to crawl out of bed i had to use the
bathroom so it's trying to like crawl out of bed and not make too much noise.
So I'm crawling out of bed
and every literal crawl down,
I'm like, you know what?
I'm going to be quiet.
I'm going to be very selective.
Every time I move backwards,
I farted and it sounded like a duck call.
It was so loud, but also like short
and it happened four times in a row.
It was disastrous.
Why did you keep doing it?
Well, no, because I was trying to move out of bed i wasn't on purpose just every time i moved a duck
call came out it was like it was blowing a duck whistle with my ass as i was trying to get out of
bed it was very loud it was not sneaky at all but it made me think you know loud farts so wait you're
you're four backwards crawls away from getting out of bed uh yeah i guess i was yeah i was to get from
the top to the bottom yeah oh because you're you're you're starting up pillow mountain yeah
because i'm on top of the mountain i need to descend i need to acclimate so there's a little
pause two down three fives to get down the mountain and one to get out of bed yeah exactly
yeah it was four i just remember four duck calls. Did you wake anyone up?
Probably.
Almost certainly I did.
But yeah, there is no.
The biggest problems in your life are just navigating your room.
In the dark at night.
Quietly.
I'm disappointed.
I wish there were more farts in your life.
I was enjoying this.
Made me happy.
There are certain things.
That's great. I hope it things that's great i hope it
i mean i hope it works for you as your friend uh but there's also 20 of me that hopes it's
somehow worse just 20 yeah just 20 yeah man there's something wrong with me okay there
well there are certain things certain failings that exist in the world that make me happy to
know that they're there because i can just assume that they've happened like you i'm assuming you still haven't fixed
if your doorbell rings while you're sitting on your toilet that it can't flush like that's yeah
that's just a thing that exists in the world that keeps me happy i might be having like a
tough moment and then i'll think about the fact you might be sitting on a toilet right now that is unflushable i love that as well that
wasn't what jeff's dream was about no no not at all my dream was just about this like you being
mad at me because i i inconvenienced you by knocking on the door at the wrong time of the day
i saw an interesting comment what would your reaction be if jeff actually did that gavin if
he was there way too early for no reason
and woke you up?
In real life? Yeah, real life. What would
your reaction be? Uh, I'd
just be concerned, I think. You think you'd be annoyed?
No, I wouldn't be annoyed.
I'd be like, oh, shit. Never going to happen.
Never.
Never. Not a concern.
Yeah, I'd probably be
like, oh, someone's's died that would be your assumption
if jeff showed up to your house early that somebody's dead hey man i'm here at your house
to let you know somebody died i could have called or texted but this seems more intimate
i don't know i thought i feel like if my phone rings, I want to see, I want to break your heart face to face.
Yeah, that's a weird,
that's a weird move
to say somebody's dead.
Well, I mean,
who just shows up unannounced?
Anyway, have a good day.
I'll see you later.
Yeah.
I got you.
Also, here's this cucumber somebody left.
Is this here? Oh, I don't left. What? I don't... Is this here?
Oh.
I don't want to...
I don't...
Hmm.
That sounds terrible.
I hate this thing that you've created.
I don't think I would go to...
I fortunately have not had to tell anybody that anyone has died.
That's not true.
That actually isn't true.
I have had to do...
But I didn't have to knock on a door.
You'd still don't...
I don't want to travel to do that.
No, you didn't. Nobody's making you. I think it's to knock on a door. I don't want to travel to do that. No, nobody's making you.
I think it's a phone call.
Yeah.
I think it's a definite phone call.
But do you leave a message?
If it goes to voicemail,
is that messageable?
Or do you have to be talking to the person?
I think it's like,
Hey, Gab, it's Jeff.
I know you're probably busy right now,
but I really need to talk to you
uh so if you could call me back when you get a chance okay so you're not saying the person is
dead in the voicemail bad message to get to talk yeah hey gab it's jeff uh i got some weird news
about andrew call me back is it weird news that's that's by far the worst it's like what is that
gonna be it's definitely bad but it's weird
i like the delivery of like what was was it lame beer the guy in office space that's like yeah
you're gonna have to come in on the weekend like the way you deliver that it's the same
yeah somebody uh died that you know so anyway uh if you're free to jet ski on tuesday or thursday anyway it's been forever since we had
dinner together if you want to go to the that place we love did you see that document that um
i think it ended up in the red in the subreddit for face but it was like a reddit combined list
of like set up words and i'll just post the thing on the slack i don't know what you're talking about
i have no idea what you're talking about. It's basically like
on one column you've got words like dumb
and like shit and dick and
on the top you've got like ass and bag
and basically like
face is like a very popular combination
on that grid. But I just
looked at that grid and I thought
this is a great opportunity to create some new
insults based on the least
combined. Like you could like out of this grid create some new insults based on the least combined.
Like out of this grid, you can pull insults like scumwit and dirt hat and wank clown or dip goblin.
I think they're all massively underused insults now.
Piss sucker from Eric.
It's always weird what people latch onto and how some words are just meant for other words And that's it I really like scumwit
Scumwit
Maybe we're
Like an insult invention podcast now
Maybe we just invent new insults
It's difficult
I'm worried with this idea existing with the sock idea
I don't need socks that say that
We don't want to popularize
Oh should this be the word grid?
Oh there you go Two to a time from smee yeah honey where's my piss fuck socks i'm never wearing i've got that important dinner tonight they're cursed every time i wear my piss fuck socks somebody knocks on my door and says
someone's tied first time i thought it was unfortunate but twice i've much better luck
with my trump nozzle socks what a weird i really i really think that there's something to these socks
this whole yeah i know you do there's zero doubt that you do that was never in question
you're all about the socks this is an interesting episode to record because this will
this will come out two weeks from now i believe. I think the last one's next week, right?
And this upcoming week, Gavin and I are in Survive Block Island.
And we won't be able to talk about it for quite a while.
But there are things that could happen in that show
that could impact how we interact with each other going forward
for some amount of time.
You mean it may affect our friendship going forward forever?
Temporarily.
Well, I don't know about forever.
I do.
You think so?
I'm counting on it.
This is, I think this is sort of an interesting point to like...
Well, let me ask you honestly right now before it all starts.
Are you going to stab me in the back?
No.
This is my belief and we'll see what happens.
I have no intention on stabbing you in the back.
I don't think we'll be on the same teams, would be my guess.
So we'd have to make merch, in my assumption, for us to play together.
But I have no intention on stabbing you in the back,
but feel like you will probably stab me in the back
out of the assumption that I plan on stabbing you in the back.
That is my prediction.
I feel like I'm quite trustworthy as a friend.
Yeah, I gotta
step in and
say that in the grand scheme of things,
I think Andrew is gonna
stab Gavin in the back 11 times
before Gavin considers doing it once.
No! I think I'll have a knife
in my back before I know what the teams are.
That's absolutely not true
I just want to like
this is going to be clipped out later when
Andrew inevitably stabs Gavin
in the back and I just want everyone
to listen to the way Andrew set
up everything that he did
this is his belief
he has no intention
he thinks Gavin might betray
him because Gavin thinks that Andrew's going to be the one who betrays.
It is all set up for Andrew to have these outs.
It is all predicated on, well, I didn't think that I wouldn't maybe think about trying to even do it once maybe.
Incredible. maybe think about trying to even do it once. Maybe incredible. Also something to consider,
uh,
is this is you guys are filming this next week.
And if you're uninformed in the audience of what we're talking about,
uh,
rooster teeth makes a show in Minecraft.
That's essentially survivor,
the TV show survivor,
but,
uh,
performed in the video game Minecraft and shot like,
uh,
like a reality TV show,
exactly like Survivor is,
and it's brilliant.
But we're going to shoot it next week.
It's not coming out until September or October
or sometime.
The hardest thing on Earth is going to be
you two are not going to be able to talk about
what happens at all in any capacity.
So if you have beefs,
you're going to have to talk around them
because you can not spoil the integrity of that show
two or three months before it comes out.
No.
Seems like a problem for whoever edits this podcast.
Yes, it does.
Nick said, uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Well, I mean, no spoilers.
We're just talking about things.
And I want to clarify,
I genuinely, I mean, no spoilers. We're just talking about things. And I want to clarify.
Genuinely, I'm going into this not expecting to even consider betraying you, Gavin.
But who knows what'll happen.
I understand if it goes the other way for you, too.
It's a game where you have to kind of adjust.
There's a lot of other people
who would be much better to betray.
Yeah, for sure.
Like, that's what I'm saying.
I want to work with you.
In my ideal world world we're working together
until a point in which one of
us probably will end up betraying the other
but I would I wouldn't
be opposed to working with you the entire way
that's nice to hear
yeah and I don't your tone
I don't feel like you believe me
well I've got to be wary of it
Gavin you are so
fucked no no no the opposite of that well I've got to be wary of it Gavin you are so fucked
he is gunning for you
no no no
the opposite of that
there are other people I won't say
there are other people I'm much more worried about than Gavin
I don't mean that disrespectfully but
you know let's take a
let's take a poll of people
who are not going to be in survive block
island but that are present here on this podcast
that'll be Jeff, Nick, and Eric.
Eric, is Andrew going to fuck Gavin over?
Yes, I think, again,
the way he just gave himself a million outs
when he was saying he wouldn't do it
is so just exactly on the nose
for what you know is going to happen.
So yes.
Yeah, Nick says you're already doomed
100% he will fuck Gavin
over. That's my problem.
I feel like Nick said it better than I
could.
But that's why I think Gavin's going to betray me.
Because I don't feel that way. Which is why you're
going to betray him first.
That's typically not how this goes.
Your doubt is going to drive the knife
straight into my spine. No.
And your paranoia. You get pretty paranoid.
Who does?
You do.
I do? You think I get paranoid?
Definitely. Every time you see him having a conversation with someone else.
You were going to fucking light every bat on fire in your house
when there was a shipping error.
It's not an either or.
We can both be very paranoid.
I'm 100% paranoid. i understand paranoia that's how
i know you're paranoid that's fair and based off of my assessment of your paranoia i will take your
your your grade you seem like a specialist i will accept your diagnosis of paranoia it's a very
paranoid game but i trust i don't and i don't mean this rudely gavin i don't think you're gonna play
a sneaky game because i just don't think that that's really who you are
as a person.
That's why I want to work with you.
But that is a response that's very
keep your cards to your chest response.
I don't know how to read that.
I'm glad you feel that way.
Now that, can we get some discussion about that phrasing?
That phrasing.
The hairs on the back of Gavin's neck
are standing straight up right now. I think he's already in self-defense mode. I don't think... That's going's Gavin's. The hairs on the back of Gavin's neck are standing straight up right now.
I think he's already in self-defense mode.
I don't think it's going to be fun.
I'm excited for that to happen.
And it will be weird to not be able to talk about it for like two months.
I feel bad because I keep texting Jeff about it.
I keep I have all these questions.
I feel like I'm annoying.
It's not annoying me at all.
I love it.
But Andrew does put me to work.
He'll be like, hey, what if this impossible set of sequence of events happened?
Would I get in trouble?
And I have to go like, well, I have to go research that now.
I have to go fucking look it up.
Is anybody sticking outside the game?
Oh, yeah.
Come on. every question is like
yeah for sure it was like i'm not trying to break the rules but i would like to twist them into a
pretzel well the the very first text i sent i was like i said to jeff who i have questions about
certain things who would i ask uh if i have a rules question jeff was kind enough to be like
ah you know i i was involved feel free to ask me and i can answer you answered in a way that was
very clearly like you expecting to be able to answer something kind of basic and i asked you
an extremely specific situation thing and your response is just fuck i'll get back to you like
you then had to ask somebody yeah well then i had to go i had to go have a meeting about
that question with two other people so we could determine the answer
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Oh, did you guys see,
I'll put this in the slide,
the screen matched baseball?
I did.
That's so cool.
How cool is that?
Wild.
That's incredible.
Someone has taken from the big baseball video, the one that I was intending to post on the YouTube channel before the other two got posted.
But someone found, I think, the very first ball that Jeff signed, and they have it.
And they've held their ball up to the screen
and it's the exact same mark.
Giant monster hands.
Yeah, we sold that one to a giant, apparently.
But, yeah, that is the ball.
Yeah, that's pretty wild.
The baseball
looks like a small plum.
It does. It looks very
tidy. Do we have any other videos
that were meant to come out?
I guess the auction video
comes out tomorrow.
Yeah, I think so.
It'll be out by the time
people hear this,
but tomorrow for us
when we're currently recording.
And then, of course,
MVP 2 at some point.
And then MVP 2 at some point.
I don't know.
You want to spend the next half hour
trying to schedule it?
I got time now.
Now it's not the last four minutes
of a fucking podcast.
Yeah, we got nothing but time.
I would, Eric, but I wanted to give you guys an update on my corn dogs.
Okay.
Update?
I still haven't had a corn dog.
What?
That's it.
Yeah, remember I swore off corn dogs forever?
No.
Every once in a while I give you guys an update, and they're still sworn off.
Yeah, I still haven't had one.
Wait.
So you swore off? Yeah, I've said this this multiple we had this conversation multiple times i said i
would never eat a corn dog again as long as i live thank you gavin and you still haven't had
one that's you haven't had one just the up just giving you the update okay was there a moment in
which you almost did no no not really but i just realized i hadn't checked in with you guys in a
while and i just didn't want to leave you hanging. Emily did buy some frozen corn dogs the other day, but I was
not in any way tempted by them.
Did she have some? Yeah, she had some.
I think. No, they just threw them away.
If they're in the freezer,
it doesn't mean they've had them yet.
That's true. But like, are you really
buying corn dogs for a later day?
Do you eat stuff
like that you freeze the same week?
I feel like the freezer is like a long-term meal.
No, if I'm buying something from the freezer section,
that doesn't mean I'm going to wait for it.
It's just how it's delivered.
I got a Red Baron in mind that's probably been in there six weeks.
That's crazy.
I bought two frozen pizzas.
They will be done.
I will eat them within the week easily.
That's sort of like wasting the freezer, though.
I got to go with Gavin on this one.
The whole point of the freezer is to...
It's to preserve.
But I'm buying food that is frozen to reheat to eat now.
I'm not...
I don't go into the...
I mean, if you're gonna eat it now, why buy it frozen?
No, because that's how it's delivered.
It's always now when you eat it.
That's always the case.
You always eat in the present. No, no, no, no, no. No, listen, stupid. Let me rephrase this, because I said it frozen. No, because that's how it's delivered. It's always now when you eat it. No. That's always the case. You always eat it in the present.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, listen, stupid.
Let me rephrase this, because I said it horribly.
I said it in a dumb way.
If I'm in the freezer section in a grocery store, I'm not looking in the pizza aisle
going, I'm going to fucking enjoy this in June or December.
Like, I'm not going to.
What do you mean?
I buy it because I plan on eating it because I feel like a pizza, and'll have it within the week typically why would you buy me now why would you buy a
frozen one you could go buy like a like a fresh one you could just because it's the fresh one
it's like a grocery store pizza and like they're cheaper so like i i i use the flyer to buy my
groceries typically they were on sale two dollars a pizza i bought two of them so i'll have the two
frozen pizzas for meals this week maybe it's just different how we buy groceries i typically will
look at the flyer what a fucking fascinating podcast topic i look at the flyer once a week
and i buy off the flyer typically for how i get groceries and plan out that flyer from the grocery
store i'll go on their website and be like oh what's the weekly flyer then i will buy off of
the flyer to get discounted do they have a flyer that just tells you what's on the end caps?
They don't, tragically.
I'd love that.
It'd be a great savings.
Maybe you should start an independent newsletter
that you can distribute around your town
that just explains what the deals on end caps are week to week.
Like a scouting report?
Yeah, kind of.
I mean, as the guy who invented thank me later i'm surprised that
that's how you use your freezer like the freezer is the ultimate thank me later for food no there
are there are things for sure that you know are just there and they exist for a very long time
and that's fine so what's long term in your freezer oh what's long term i don't uh probably
like frozen fruit so how did it end up there
did you intend to eat it within a few days
and then you just forgot or did you
buy it for later consumption
it's always like I either forgot or I
just haven't gotten around to it so like something that would
last a long time or like if I buy a box
of Eggo waffles or something like that
that will last a while I'm not gonna go through that
whole box in a week but
things that are like singular meal items like a pizza i'm not gonna go through that whole box in a week but things that
are like singular meal items like a pizza those aren't those aren't lasting long yeah i guess we
just shop differently i buy frozen food and i like like i i'm probably in like a week or two weeks or
three weeks i'm gonna be fucking exhausted and not feel like cooking or ordering or yeah i'll
just pop this in mine's for when like in the future on an unknown date, I'm either going to get back pretty late,
not have enough time to make anything or order
something, and it's just like an emergency meal
for me. That makes sense.
That's a valid way to have it. And
ice cream. You had any
ice cream in your freezer right now? Yeah.
Got some dark...
What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?
Why was the
ice cream part?
Gavin, that broke you on this.
Well, I was just fascinated with how you use your freezer,
but now we're just talking about what's in our freezers.
I'm curious what ice cream you had.
I like the ones.
Yeah, cookie dough is pretty good with chocolate chips.
Cookie dough is good.
It's all about texture for me.
Do you have a brand choice?
Probably Ben.
Ben and Jerry's.
Ben and Jerry's.
Okay.
How about you?
I like Ben and Jerry's.
Ben and Jerry's is good.
I don't really have a brand preference as far as ice cream goes.
I will devour ice cream in a fucking day.
Ice cream is not lasting long.
Ice cream is not a long-term item in my freezer.
Really? I cannot eat a lot at once.
I eat like an inch of ice cream at a time.
Cookie two-step.
Jeff just posted.
That's the shit right there.
That's your favorite ice cream?
Bluebell cookie two-step.
Yeah, when it's not full of listeria.
They survive.
I think the cookie two-step was a thing I learned at the same place I learned the sewing machine.
I think we would do that after we'd start with the sewing machine. The icky cookie two-step.
And then we would do the icky cookie two-step.
Still a half gallon,
it says on the front. I like that a lot.
The implication of, did you hear? I hear they may
have gone below the half gallon like they used
to, but no. Let us clear the
air. Still a half gallon.
Or like all the other brands did and they just refused.
of the air still a half gallon or like all the other brands did and they just refused i was like because you see that with fast food ads all the time like wendy's whole thing is never
frozen beef right like what are other companies doing that how many other companies like it feels
like a weird just declaring you're doing doing a thing that doesn't necessarily i guess the
assumption is all the other companies do?
I know that Monster Munch have,
I think on their packets have like old,
new old size, what is it?
New old size?
Oh, I remember this.
Because they made them smaller, right?
They made them smaller, they made them big again.
Can't remember how they phrased it.
For what, what was the product? Monster Munch, the then made them big again. Can't remember how they phrased it. For what?
What was the product?
Monster Munch.
The crisps.
Okay.
I didn't know what they were, though.
Like, I knew the name of...
I've never heard of a Monster Munch.
I'm gonna do some Googling.
There you go.
Oh, I have seen those.
Pickled onion flavor.
Yeah, there's pickled onion,
there's roast beef,
and then there's Flamin' Hot.
There should be a company
that does what DVD companies do
with things on the bag
i will only eat chips that are entertaining and fun it's my only it's my guideline for any snack
interactive menus didn't we talk about monster munch recently on this podcast
no i i think so yeah we talked about monster Munch at large recently, and I think it was maybe when we
were hanging out outside of work.
Yeah.
So it says new crossed out old and then it says bigger like they used to be.
What?
On the top corner of that picture.
Top corner.
New.
Oh, slash old.
New.
So they made them smaller and then everyone was like, we hate it.
So they made them bigger again
oh so that was their, I get what you're saying
the campaign was we did it, we got rid of
the new
that's the multi-bag
yeah we were gonna do a gauntlet of crisps I think weren't we
yeah we were gonna do some sort of a taste test or something
does that not ring a bell Andrew
not at all to me
I think we were talking about that with Emily
with our significant others
maybe. Maybe this was at, I don't know.
Oh, maybe it was when we were having lunch after
jet skiing. That would make sense. Maybe you're having
some chips, doing a ranking of them.
It might have been. Yeah, and then I was
going to send you both, you and Andrew,
all of the crisps and you were going to do the crisp
gauntlet. Oh, I'd love to do that.
Yeah. And then we were going to determine
once and for all what the best flavors were.
Roast beef, Flamin' Hot. I feel like
roast beef probably
the best one of those ones.
I think pickled onion's the best.
I gotta say, man, I think
the munch sounds
disgusting. Like every flavor
sounds like a flavor I wouldn't want.
But the packaging is adorable.
You like the little monsters?
I love the monsters.
I love the purple color and the green monster.
I like the font.
It all looks great.
It loses me at roast beef and pickled onion.
Why aren't onions called pickles?
Huh?
They're pickled.
Yeah, but...
So, pickles are cucumbers.
Yeah, well... They're pickled cucumbers Yeah, but... So, pickles are cucumbers. Yeah, well...
They're pickled cucumbers.
In America, they are.
Okay.
They're called other stuff other places.
That would make sense.
You call them gherkins, right, Gavin?
Yeah.
Okay.
But in America, so a pickled...
So, you have a cucumber and you pickle it,
and now it's just a pickle.
But you can pickle all sorts of things.
You can pickle onions. It's true. Yeah, yeah i mean branston pickle is a bunch of pickle stuff
what would you choose out of these three flavors of knickknacks andrew what the fuck you got nice
and spicy you got scampi and lemon or rib and saucy oh i like my knickknack scampi you what are these are these chips
they're knickknacks
they're knickknacks okay
we gotta this is a thing we need to pursue
we haven't done a food thing in a while on this show
I'd love to do a deep dive on chips
US has the worst they stink
your flavors are terrible US no
variety what the fuck are you talking
about it's the worst you have
such bland limited flavors in America.
I'm sorry we don't have shrimp scampi potato chips,
but it's because we have some kind of fucking standards.
Jesus fucking Christ.
We don't have roast beef flavored potato chips
because we make roast beef here.
I mean...
Like, we don't need to make pickle.
Like, we got real flavors for real people
that eat real food. Yeah, but you have salt and vinegar. I don't need to make pickle. Like, we got real flavors for real people that eat real food.
Yeah, but you have salt and vinegar.
So what does that mean?
I don't eat that shit.
Okay, fair enough.
I just...
Whenever I'm in the U.S.
and I look at the chip pile,
it's always disappointing.
Typically...
Yeah, I agree.
The U.S. has, like, more of everything.
But the chip...
You guys are really lacking in the chip department.
What about Twiglets?
That's a great name.
That is a great name.
I've never heard of a Twiglet.
Dude, you gotta love Twiglets.
What else does Jacob make other than Twiglets?
Crackers?
I don't know what a cracker is in your country.
Is that like a pair of boots?
I don't know.
This is fucking stupid.
It is a dumb conversation, but I'm genuinely...
We need to do the chip thing.
I'm going to get you both packages.
How many bags of different flavors do you think we should do?
All of them.
I should just try all the flavors, right?
All of them.
I don't know how to answer that question.
I feel like we should throw American chips in the way, too.
Oh, what? Fucking plain? I think we're
good. We're good.
You've obviously, sir,
have never had pizza-flavored Pringles.
Wow, spicy.
Exotic.
I don't think it's spicy. It just tastes like pizza.
Let's prepare ten flavors
from our land.
I don't know if my lid has ten flavors.
Barbecue flavors, because that's all we have.
Eric and Nick,
do you want to try the...
Wait, what's...
Are you talking about
eating 30 chips?
Is that what you just proposed?
10 flavors each?
Yeah.
How many chips are in a bag?
Well, I'm just saying
that doesn't seem like a lot.
Like, you're all going to have
to eat 30 different kinds. Like, you're not going to have to eat 30 different kinds of, like, you're not going to get, like, run out of steam by, like, 12 and you have 18 more.
What if you're having one chip?
I understand.
I understand that.
But one chip 30 times.
It's like a bag.
Especially with the different flavors where you're trying to like drill down on them
is like a lot.
That's like a considerable,
Jeff, am I wrong?
Is 30 not a lot?
I understand what he's saying,
but here's, I think it's necessary.
And I think that the way we need a palate cleanser,
we need to drink some Sprite or water
or something in between.
Yeah, because sometimes you'll just swallow the Quaver and uh you'll think i really need something to wash that
stop man you gotta stop sending these fake you just made that
it looks like old people toenails. These names are so fucking funny.
Twiglets.
Imagine having an argument as a kid going,
I like Twiglets.
And another kid goes, I like Quavers.
Yeah, or he's like, I like Cheesy Watsits.
What?
You have to stop.
These are all, you're going to eat all of these.
Nick and Eric, are you getting involved in the chip game, in the crisps?
yeah sure, yeah we're in
if it means I can have what sits
and flavors, I can't wait
here's what we gotta do
this needs to be supplemental, this needs to be like
the apple taste, yes
it's too much for an episode of f***
I need to know, are what sits
always baked, or is there a non-baked
version of a what sit? the important thing is they're really cheesy sort of it is i need to know are what's it's always baked or is there a non-baked version
of a what's it but the important thing is they're really cheesy they're really cheesy but no andrew
is right though america has like doritos it has plain lays and it has sun chips and that's what
you get everywhere in every store and there's no variation it's pretty bland it's pretty bland you never get the crazy like right now our ladies is
doing a uh cheese and ketchup mashup is one of the top flavors that they're rotating in they
always do weird things i appreciate an odd chip i also love this idea because i really need things
for my 20 000 item list and this sounds like I got 30 right here.
Look, we got, we got, I'm looking at Doritos flavors right now. Oh! We got
we got spicy nacho,
we got flaming hot nacho.
Those are two different flavors.
We got spicy sweet chili.
There you go, three flavors right there.
They're all essentially the same thing. Backyard
barbecue. Did you ever have the crisps
that you would make into a car and then eat?
What?
They're like little transformers.
What?
This is it.
Transformer snack?
Transformer snack.
You get the middle piece and then you get little
rings and you build it into a small car
and then you eat the whole lot.
I take back everything I said
defending our chips.
We're outclassed.
They have chips that are toys.
This is unfair.
Wow.
Wow.
This would be a great supplemental.
I think you've won all of us over
with one fucking image, dude.
Yeah, I don't want to eat Doritos.
I want to eat a car.
Yeah. I feel like the way to do this is we have to secretly create our collections and then maybe like we open the box and reveal what everybody put in it at the i don't know how to logistically do
this but i feel like that's the funniest you've had several spoilers for what's going to be in
my package oh man transform i would do that with bits and bites
Myself, but I never had a brain like I would get the pretzel stick and I put all the little cheerios
To fill the stick with it and then I'd eat it once it was like a cheer cheerio pretzel stick thing
But I've never seen so transform a snack. Why don't we do this in person?
Why don't we make this the first in person thing? I mean, that's so so fucking far from now
But I Andrew when does the ankle bracelet come off?
I don't know.
I don't know the answer to that.
You want me to travel to a different country
to eat a Transformers snack?
Yeah.
We did an Apple review, not in person.
A thing I was much more excited about
where I couldn't eat them.
And you want to do
Transformers. Why?
This sounds
really fun. It does sound fun.
I can't argue that. That's a great point.
I have a question for you, Andrew.
Okay.
So given that Canada
is kind of a
country that's situated in, it kind of
equally siphons off culture from
the uk and america do you have 10 canadian potato chips yeah for sure well not necessarily are can
we include like cheesies and that type of thing as well what's cheesies what's it like hawkins
like a hawkins cheesy i don't know what that is oh yeah i think that's one right there so that's
that's not so you just gotta come up with nine more is that like me saying can I use frazzles
no wait
crispy bacon
why are they all named
like Nick's right it's like dog treats
why are they all named like nick's right it's like dog treats why are they all named like this
this is the craziest fucking is there a way i can take a wazit into frazzle and put wheels
on the transform a snack on it oh my god oh my god we can make the the ultimate crisp wait it's like
is chester cheetah not a representative of Cheezies? What's Cheezies?
Has nobody here heard Cheezies before?
No, dude.
Chester Cheetah is fucking Cheetos.
No!
No!
You're kidding.
No.
I think I tombsed myself.
Did you mess up?
I think I've tombsed myself my entire life.
Are you deep in the cove?
When I said,
I said cheesies.
I was referencing a Chester cheetah product that you certainly have the puffs and then the hard ones.
We have cheese puffs and those are Cheetos.
I know they're Cheetos.
I thought the big ones are cheese puffs.
Are Hawkins cheesies?
Is that where I'm?
Did I?
I didn't invent cheesies. Hawkins Cheezies.
Gavin's over here like... Okay.
What the fuck is that?
Hawkins Cheezies exists.
Okay, so I got...
That's the mix-up.
I'm gonna be like, what?
The Cheezies are Hawkins.
Oh, you guys haven't tried
schnozzages in a plate?
Yeah, they're totally...
It's totally human food.
You're gonna love them.
Yeah. Oh, what are you trying?. You're going to love them. Yeah.
Oh, what are you trying?
My favorite flavor of crisps.
Beer.
I can't have that one.
Oh, that's fucking funny.
Guinness Bert's chips.
This is great.
I'm excited for this.
So wait, you said Hawkins Cheezies,
but then you said Chester Cheetah,
and he's not on this thing.
These look like they're packaged in the 1930s.
What is this?
It's like the top cheesy.
What the fuck are you saying?
How else would I describe those?
Like what type of snack is that?
Is that a corn based?
This looks like a snack you would get at the zoo in 1912.
No, they're delicious.
They're incredible.
It looks like something you'd get in a Little League game in the 1980s,
but only in a Little League.
Yeah.
Like, you don't eat this under a big top.
You're completely right, but they are incredible.
I just don't know what to call the snack.
What is a Cheeto?
Like, what is the general term for it?
Yeah, a cheese puff. A cheese puff cheese puff a cheese puff so cheese but they
have puffs they have a puff variety you're getting too granular it's just cheese puff is the way to
describe it you're getting too granular you're let's stop you before you go further what's the
best doritos flavor i'm not a doritos guy what i'm not a Doritos guy what's regular the the regular like nacho like
default nacho nacho cheese yeah yeah I think I I really do think that's the best Dorito flavor
I think everything else is fine you don't like cool original well in America we call that cool
ranch but I guess ranch I guess ranch isn't a flavor in England, so they just call it original.
Cool original.
That's me.
I'm a cool original.
I wonder if cool original Doritos taste exactly like Cool Ranch Doritos, or if there is some sort of difference.
I bet they are the exact same, but that's worth testing.
Yeah, it is worth testing.
Why don't I bring that from my land and you bring Cool Ranch from your land okay i'll bring it from my land which you also live in
i'll grab it from the grocery store that we both go to
no i'm happy to do the work i just thought it was interesting the way you phrased it
as if we don't live three miles away from each other that's true
nick posted his apps earlier that is a respectable us chip the voodoo flavor not As if we don't live three miles away from each other. That's true. Nick posted a Zaps earlier.
That is a respectable US chip.
The voodoo flavor is not bad.
Zaps are fucking great.
Zaps are pretty good.
I'll give Zaps some credit.
But we need to do this.
You don't have Miss Vicky's?
No, we do.
But it's just they're fine.
They're bland.
The same type of chip.
Miss Vicky's fucking jalapeno chips are amazing.
Yeah, they're pretty good.
Very residue-y though. Really gotta wash your hands after them. Yeah, that're pretty good. Very residue-y, though.
Really gotta wash your hands after them.
Yeah, that's true.
That's fair.
We should wrap up.
Ooh.
LeBron James, Flamin' Hot Cheddar and Sour Cream.
I'm not ever gonna eat those.
We have a whole subdivision of snacks here
that are like sports people snacks.
Ooh, but that's aliens.
That's a pretty good one, Gavin.
Yeah, that's a pickled onion again.
What the fuck?
That's a go-to flavor.
Notice it says Flamin' Hot Cheddar and Sour Cream by LeBron James.
What creative input do you think he had in this?
Well, according to the commercial, because I've seen it a thousand times in the playoffs,
he ate a Flamin' Hot Ruffle and he went, this is delicious.
And then he ate a Cheddar and Sour Cream Ruffle and he thought, this is also delicious. And then he had like a light cream uh ruffle and he thought this is also
delicious and then he had like a light bulb over his head and he put them both in his mouth at the
same time and ate it and then he said i'm a genius and then i think he became the creative director
i regret asking i'm pretty sure that's how that works this is a weird episode but i enjoyed it
i had a good time that was strange this is strange one. I'm just looking at crisps.
I'm just so excited to make this package.
Stop spoiling stuff.
The second episode is always weird, man.
It depends.
That's true.
It's always something.
Sometimes it's amazing.
Sometimes it's a home run,
but it's never a home run in the way you think it'll be.
Oh, man.
I... Did you... So, Gavin, because we need to wrap up. in the way you think it'll be. Oh, man.
I, did you, so Gavin,
because we need to wrap up.
Did you get to like the eight things that you wanted to talk about?
We got through a few of them.
What are you talking about?
We got through a few of them.
What?
We spent 25 minutes on chips
and you have notes to use?
Jeff, did you go through all your notes?
No, not at all. I was looking through here.
This is insane!
I've got, look, my notes!
Guy found his baseball.
I've got Smeagol in my socks.
I've got tea towel.
We don't need to recap all the things we've talked about in the last two things.
This is curious.
Why are you asking?
Well, because I was out of notes and I assume we went
20 minutes on chips because we were noteless
at this point. No, I think we were just really into chips.
I got really into chips halfway there.
I got some I didn't get to mainly
because I don't understand them.
Tuna fish can spill in the sea?
What does that mean?
Tuna fish can spit in the sea?
Spill. Spill in the sea.
Tuna fish can spill in the sea. Yeah, I don tuna fish that's a spill in the sea yeah i don't
know what that is but that that was you should here when you write down a note you should write
the date next to it so you can at least narrow it down to like what you're doing in the world
i had uh uh this is a good one after our after the the pool party for my birthday we had and we had
so much fun with the rings and stuff and we'll cover this later but i i was thinking i think the time is right for us to invent the new that like the new
hot pool game like marco polo's old it's tired i think i think that but and i was thinking we
could combine it with swans i don't know what this is but i wrote down swan king of the hill
so like maybe there's something there or we could
investigate something else so that's something we can talk about later and we talked about the
tuxedo dvd cover or something like that oh uh i have a new business idea that we can talk about
later where you uh then i think you'll really like andrew i think it's aligned with some of
your stuff and uh there's two different angles of that i don't go too far okay yeah this is a
nice teaser for for an upcoming episode. But definitely have two products we can
sell that I think will do really well.
Talked about the corndog update.
Beanhole days. Checked on
Gavin's CPAP farts.
Oh, death diving. I want to talk to you guys about
death diving. Have you seen it?
No. Are you guys familiar?
We'll save it for a future episode. I think I see a sport
that is perfect for us to compete in.
Oh, I'm excited. Should I research this between episodes? I would appreciate it for a future episode. I think I see a sport that is perfect for us to compete in. Oh, I'm excited.
Should I research this between episodes?
I would appreciate it if you didn't.
Okay.
Then you can see.
That's a long way to say no.
You could have just said no.
Well, you know, I'm a little more florid with my speak.
I, yeah, I actually found it through the community.
It was on the subreddit.
Somebody posted a link to it.
And then I spent all night watching death diving videos.
I think it's right up our alley. Awesome. And I think that
we will probably find ourselves in Norway next
year at the death diving competition.
As long as it doesn't overlap with
Bean Fest. No, Bean
Day is the priority. Bean Hole Day is
priority. Yeah, for sure.
Dude, I want to get Gavin crowned the
Bean King. I would
love that. King Bean Free! Yeah, we the bean king. I would love that.
Although I don't think I deserve it at this point.
Yeah, we'll have to make better beans for that.
I guess we probably stop though, huh?
Yep.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, I always hate to stop.
Bye.
Skip's Prawn Cocktail.
What does that say?
Light and malty?
Malty?
That's disgusting. No, light and melty.
Light and melty? Yeah.
Dude, I'm getting fucking, my eyes are getting old.
That light
and, so the chips melt?
They melt on your tongue.
With a prawn flavor.
Fucking disgusting.
I think we lost Andrew at some point. Okay.
Thanks for listening to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast.
If you enjoyed it,
please tell a friend or an acquaintance
or an enemy.
If you've ever met somebody else
on the planet Earth,
let them know about our podcast.
There's seven and a half billion people
who are currently alive.
Most of them have ears.
Most of them aren't using them for this,
and we really would appreciate it if they did.
And I guess Gavin and Andrew,
I won't see you guys for a while, so it was nice hanging out
for a little bit. Gavin, if I see you in public
somewhere, I'd appreciate at least a
nod. I'll definitely give you a nod.
And a bye. Thanks. Bye!
Hey guys, Major League Fan Jack here with a
look at next week's episode of F*** Face.
What a shocker, the guys haven't
recorded yet again, so here are
a few predictions for you.
The tuxedo isn't in great condition.
Eric gets frustrated by Panton.
Jeff doesn't want to hit any more balls.
Jack gets promoted again.
Does anyone remember when Andrew was going to become a basket weaver?
Gavin forgot to hit record.
And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.