F**kface - Fastest Tube Crawler // Public Coke Freestyle Machine [33]

Episode Date: December 25, 2024

Geoff, Gavin and Andrew talk about Merry Christmas, human dog show, italian tube confidence, dry needling, nostril holes = mouth size?, hot dog nostril, Indiana Jones, the staredown, falling, Trap movie, sarsaparilla, on tap, Coke Freestyle, Gavin the neighbors guy, the most important series of the day, hot dogs, marsoupial, the most soupable marsupial, bat not bat draft, a person enthusiast, and bomb diffusal. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With Uber Reserve, you can book your Uber ride in advance. 90 days in advance. Perfect for all you forward thinkers and planning gurus. Reserve your Uber ride up to 90 days in advance. Uber Reserve, see Uber app for details. Hello and welcome to another episode of The Regulation Podcast. This is episode 33, our very special Christmas episode.

What the fuck that was in the background episode 33, our very special Christmas episode. What the fuck was that in the background? Because it clipped. But my name is Jeff Ramsey, with you as always, my co-hosts Eric Bedour, Andrew Panton, Gavin Free, and Nick Schwartz. Merry Christmas, boys! Merry Christmas. I was screaming it's Christmas from that Slade song.

Oh, I gotta be honest with you guys. I'm thinking I'm done with bagels. Real seven out of 10 food if he has me. What? You're insane. Not a fan. Bagels are the best. That's such a high score to stop wanting to eat it. I don't understand.

Speaking of snow, Belichick, apparently from New York, North Carolina hires Bill Belichick legendary NFL. But that's awesome. Joins college ranks and stunning career move. The five year five year deal. Right. What they're saying yesterday. Is it a stunning career move? He's still coaching football. Stunning career. That's what happened.

Well, they shut down Rooster Teeth and in a stunning career move, we kept doing podcasts. Yeah, like it's it's I don't. If he became like a basketball coach, that would be a stunning career move. They're like, hey, he is coaching. If he be like a like a dog show competitor, I think that would be a stunning career move. A dog show competitor like he's not even a coach.

He's on. No, no. Like he's like got a dog that he takes to dog shows and stuff. Yeah, like best in show. Oh, did you think I meant like he's a dog? Oh, he does have a dog. His dog drafted for the Patriots. He's got a very skilled dog. Is there a human dog show that people could do? What do you mean? The Olympics. Isn't that what a beauty pageant is? A beauty pageant is just a human dog show? Yeah, they have to jump over bars and stuff. There are human dog shows where humans run around and jump over bars and stuff. I don't know shows where humans run around and jump over bars and stuff

I don't know if they're dogs, but they do it as horses. No, there's like I've seen on tik-tok There's like women or dudes will run around with like the stick Oh, they oh they have like the wooden horse competition thing where it's like, yeah, they have like the horse Stick thing. Yeah stick horse dressage or whatever The Olympics I'm trying to think who I think would crawl through the tube the fastest Between the four of you tube crawling tube crawling because the dogs run in and out of the tube. Oh, I bet it's Nick Why why are you Why why are you a pie hit?

You could crawl through some tubes pretty quick. I think I could race through some tubes. Yeah, really I think I was built for the tubes. I think the Gavin of five years ago could race through some tubes. Come on, man mmm Wait, how do you nick 36? Well, I was at this episode 37. Happy birthday. Happy birthday I how long is the tube? How what the dimensions? It's a curved tube. Let's say it's maybe 10 feet from one entrance to the exit. I could probably just go full sprint and just slide through that puppy.

Yeah, I mean, flying the dolphin diving like in Call of Duty. I mean, for ultimate speed, I think I could be in and out of that tube in like maybe a second and a half. Oh, oh, really? Yeah. I would put good money on Nick to be. Oh, I would also do that. I think I got it. I never thought about what the inside of those tubes look. Oh, that's great.

That's just a image of a child's tube at like a playground. Very small. Oh, I wouldn't even touch it. I just fly. Yeah, I would touch the the like the outside wall or the inside of the outside of the turn. What on the wall? And I would just slide through the inside of the outside of the turn. I just watched a season of Survivor. The stringy long dude always wins, always wins competitions. How long are you Nick?

Nick has got the most survivor stringy long dude body of us all. I'm not that long. I'm pretty I'm short. I'm 5'10 long. I'm 5'9 long. I'm putting the tube in. Yeah, but it's about like body distribution. And like he's real.

He's real like like Nick's kind of rangy. So it's a long tube. It is like kind of fabricy. So you can't just. So if you dive through, you're just going to move the whole tube. The whole thing is moving. Yeah, You can't just so if you dive through you're just gonna move the whole tube But the whole thing is moving. Yeah, you can't really slide through it So is technique gonna be I think shoe choice is gonna be very important That dog looks Eric posted a photo of a dog running out of tube and it looks like finding

Finding the best images. This look at this dog like posted up. There's a cat at the other end. Hey, Eric? Yeah? That image with the cat at the other end, that's clearly an Amazon sale product. That's something we could buy. Can we buy that?

Can you buy that? Can I buy that? It's 16 and a half feet. It is, oh man, I just don't know if it's, oh no, currently unavailable. I'll find one. just don't know if it's bit oh no currently unavailable I'll find one. I don't understand these product dimensions if there's a way that you guys can explain this to me it is 5.05 L 0.6 W and 0.6 H meters everything's in meters what don't you understand about any of that? No, I know exactly what that says. That's five point five long

so that's 15 feet right and Then point six width and point six height so that puts it at about a half about a foot one point seven feet wide and not tall Oh, right Somewhere about that. I think that's a three second tube for me. Now. Do you think that you have tube confidence because of your Italian heritage? Are we known for our tubing? Mario! He's making Mario. Oh!

The most iconic tube guy. Did not! Boy, that didn't come across, I don't know. He's a tube guy, the most iconic tube guy is Italian. Okay, I'm gonna, instead I'm gonna need that tube to be green just so I feel at home. Do you think of Mario as a tube guy? Think of him as a pipe guy. A tube and a pipe is the same, is it not?

I don't think so. Yeah, he's got you there. Because when you said a tube and he's Italian, it didn't come across as Mario to me. It came across as very confusing. That's a, it sounds like a you problem to me. Oh, okay, cool. Great. Thank you. Nick got it. Sample size was 50-50. Great, congratulations.

So I think we should get one of these and then we'll each, to make it fair, you know when they do like land speed records, they have to race both directions and then they take the average. Oh, that's great. Just so there's no like wind advantage. So I think we both do two and we'll average our two scores

and find out who's the most Italian. I'll practice on my kids. That sounded really weird. I found one. It's 18 feet long. Which is what we're looking for, right? And then, this is like not crazy. We want to bump that circumference up if we can a little bit.

But that's all. That's what I'm looking for. That's the hard part. Is that when you get lengthier, I think you're kind of sacrificing height on some of these. But I think maybe I found a couple. I think I'm just most blown away that the resident rat guy isn't getting involved in the, you know, rat run type. I think I'm just most blown away that the resident rat guy isn't getting involved in the, you know, rat run type. I think I'm just most blown away that the resident rat guy isn't getting involved in the, you Nick would be the fastest. We'll put a piece of cheese at the end. You don't think you could scramble and make that happen? Not faster than Nick, no. No, I really do think would...

I think Nick would be the fastest at dog sports. Yeah. We're ready to put it, but okay. No, I think it's a perfect way to put it, though. I agree. I completely understand that. I think it's a perfect way to put it, though. I agree. I think it's a perfect fastest at dog sports. Yeah. Fuck? Mm-hmm. Wait, way to put it, but okay.

I mean, you know. No, I think it's a perfect way to put it, though. I agree. I completely understand what he means and agree with him. Yeah, absolutely. So here's what I found, and I might order this. Oh! Looks like it's right.

Oh, shit! Yeah. Is there a color that we want? Red? Green. Green. Ooh, there's a dark gr- Is this-

Does this read green to you? I'm just making sure that that reads green to you and it's not gonna be a thing where it's like, that's gray. It's like, is that right? I'm fine with that, close enough. Yeah, military green. Okay. Okay.

Then I think that's it. I'll order it and then we'll set it up in Jeff's backyard, I guess. It looks like, it looks like we can add Benz. How long is it? 18, it is. My current backyard is not big enough. We'll have to take it to the park and do it. Well, no, no, no. That's fine. It looks like it looks like we can add how long is it 18? My current back yard is not big enough. We'll have to take it to the park into it We can put some bends in it and stuff You know what I mean? Like it doesn't have to go the full 18

It can go like nine and then like nine to curve back around so that way like the start and the end are like the same Can we bring items that we think might help us? Oh like your favorite chew toy or Like what do you mean like a Scooby snack. What are we thinking? I was thinking maybe like a lube soaked t-shirt I'm gonna. I'm gonna say no ah on a lube soaked t-shirt. Just because I don't want to help it Yeah, also also. I feel like lubricant is something that both Competitors have to agree on because when one is lubricated both are you know at the end of the day like Nick's gonna get all messy going through that after you

if he's not on board with it you know i actually feel he could be advantageous to the person going through who like that might be too slippery for Gavin you might just be rolling in this tube you think he'd be over lubed yeah i think he would properly lube the tube for Nick to just slide on through I'm hoping that I would be running full tilt and I just glide through all lubed and then Nick goes for like a Scrambling approach, but he just he doesn't get purchased and he's just slipping around in there. He like wobbles like on a cartoon He's like because he can't catch Can't catch a grip. Yeah Because you can't catch you can't catch a grip yeah So does anyone else want to get involved to try with us I believe I trust you I think you're good I'm happy to do it, but I'm also fucking 50 years old

So I don't know there's any chance in hell that in my advanced age I'm gonna do anything other than cause some sort of a nagging injury that oh yeah, Six to eight weeks. Yeah, you're still recovering from the dog toy being thrown at you I'm concerned about I still still deal with a face. Yeah Oh, yeah, that's true the dow is at the dentist right before we recorded today. Oh, did you you get injections? Yeah, Botox yet. I haven't done the Botox yet, but I have been doing dry needling which is pretty bad. Oh it's like Acupuncture, but they move the needle around and once it's inside of you and pop stuff like muscles Oh, the kind of spasms. So oh that sounds terrible It's like take the thing about the thing of the worst part of acupuncture and then like make it significantly worse

Is there medical science that shows that that works? I assume so. I just go to the guy behind the H.E.B. But he it's got he's got to have science from somewhere, right? Now, of course, there's medical. I'm going to like a sports therapist to get it done. Well, that doesn't. OK. I feel like some of that stuff is sketchy. Not as in like like you can hit the ball.

You just have to believe in yourself. But more like you've got an injury and here's how we fix it. Like, I don't think cupping does anything, but that's like a predominant thing. I don't know, I've never done cupping. Oh, I really like it. It helped me with a lot of range of motion when I was having issues in my back.

I really liked it. But don't worry, people leave comments and go, it's actually fake and you don't, and don't worry about it. It worked for me and I really liked it. I really enjoyed it. Pretty popular in the NBA. And I know Emily has had it done before, but I've no experience. What about the balloon in the nostril thing?

You ever thought about getting that done? Have you ever needed that? I don't think we're allowed to do that. Didn't we agree that we're not allowed to do that? Oh, that's throat. That's throat. This is the nostril. I feel like the sinuses should not be best with it that way. Oh, the guy that's down for having the balloon explode in his mouth is worried about the nostril balloon.

Yeah, a balloon in the mouth that is just being lightly inflated to see how big your mouth is. Isn't the same as stuffing a balloon up my nose and popping my sinus hole. Balloon in the mouth is worth two in the nose, man. It's you know, you got to make a decision. Do you think your nostril holes are? Equal to your nose size generally Gavin. Do you think the? Interior matches the exterior as far as my nostrils a garbage really that tiny it just narrows down that sucks They completely useless Do you think they're the same size or like one is better than the other because like?

Everybody has like one ball that hangs lower and all boobs are different, right? So you've got to figure your nostrils would be slightly like major left one better than your right one. If I inhale deeply and suddenly my right nostril collapses. What? Well, there you go. Do you have like a weaker nostril if you got it like slams closed? No. It's lay off the cocaine, buddy. Jesus. Slams closed.

Wait. So is your, is your nose so powerful that the suction is like, it's bringing it in? Yeah. You're that's. There's a lot of give it on my nostril flaps. They're very. Oh, you got flappy flaps. Yeah.

So if you just take it a massively deep breath, like you're trying to fill your lung in one second through the nose, it just goes in smooth. I mean, it kind of throttles a little bit, but it doesn't like I wouldn't describe it as collapsing. Yeah, just went in smooth. I got no problem with it. I think we need to get you that nose balloon, man. I think if anyone needs it, it might be you.

Yeah. What's that going to do? Temporarily stretch my nose hole? Yeah. Yeah, we need to get inporarily stretch my nose hole? Yeah. Yeah, we need to get in there and make some lattice work or something. Yeah, I need like a stent or something. Like they do in a mine. I got what he's describing with like the balloon in your nostril, expanding it and everything.

I did that with my esophagus. Really? What? I had a stricture and a narrowing in my esophagus where food would get stuck. And I went to a gastroenterologist and they're like, oh yeah, well we can just like knock you out and then we shove a balloon down your throat and then we expand the balloon.

You'll just have to get it done again in like 15 years. But it was a night and day change. Like my life is so different after that. Did it hurt at all? Like when you woke up, was your throat sore? I mean, like not, not like my throat, but like the middle of my chest ached for like a day or two and like that Was it like really really not bad. Can you deep throat now? Yeah, and it can go all the way down to the stomach So if that's like I don't even have to swallow. That's like the deepest throat

Did you just if you can get it all the way down there, but you might get you might get burned by my stomach acid Can I push a hot dog down your throat? Oh, I don't like it. Can I do what? Can I push a hot dog down your throat? No, it just made my esophagus like a normal person's esophagus. No, I don't want to see that. I don't, I'm not going to do it. You don't think you could relax it? I could just. No, don't do it. I know you're thinking about it, but say no. No, absolutely. No, I absolutely. If Gavin pulls a hot dog from the throat, can he become the king of the land?

Is he the chosen one? He's got a balloon in his nostrils getting expanded, and he's pulling a hot dog out of my throat. This is pretty cool. Is that what the show is? I could absolutely fit a hot dog in my nose, though. Four out of ten. I bet I could hold two dogs and one in each nostril. They just wouldn't go in very far.

Oh, you think you could fit a dog in your nostril? I think so. Let's try it. There's no way, mine at least, no way. I bet I could. You just said your nostrils were small. The actual- The pipeage is small.

Like the tunnel is small, but the openings are, you know, loose and flappy and huge. Hot dog flappy? I think so. How big is a hot dog? Like you could- Not the whole bun, just the openings are loose and flappy and huge. Hot dog flappy? I think so. How big is a hot dog? Like you could not, not the whole bun, just the, no, just the dog. I don't think any of us were thinking bun. I think you could do that for sure.

You said you could do it too. Do you think so? Yeah. I don't think it's that, I don't think a hot dog is that big. I think it's bigger than you two think. I think so. Just reminds me. Was it, was it Bernie or Gus or someone said that they could fit their cock through a toilet

roll? I was Bernie. Was it that he could or couldn't? He thought he couldn't, but he could. Or he could, but he couldn't. I don't remember. I don't think about his dick that much anymore, but. No, me either.

Apparently you do. Popped its wed. I don't think either you could do the hot dog in the nose No way here. Hold on. I'll hold on I'm gonna send you guys a fucking photo and if I can Gavin Definitely can even if you lubed it up with hot dog material like some ketchup or some mustard it ain't going in there Why do you think that no way that's way too small? That's like hot dog size, and that's not even stretching. That's just naturally open I mean that looks like stretching that doesn't just like naturally that doesn't look like a relaxed photo

Yeah, but that's not like external manipulation if I get my fucking hands in there start opening stuff up you could And Gavin's got he's so much more naturally capable. I'm trying to take a picture of my nose. I don't. I this is you guys can't do this. This isn't it's not going to work. But I want to see it. Well, we'll try on the same day we do Patago. Do they need to be cooked? Is there like a thing sanitary wise?

Are you OK with a raw dog in your nose? Yeah, I mean, they come come cooked they're cooked already. Yeah You're just heating it up when you're like, yeah, I'll probably try and get it to body like room temperature I don't want to shock the nostril and have it contract. Have you guys played the Indiana Jones game? Oh, that's a lot of food. You guys need to play it. It's really good. I'm not a big Indiana Jones guy I became obsessed with that game. It is so much fun. Really? Oh, I thought Greg Miller gave it a pretty middling reviews.

Yeah, he said he did. Six or something. Yeah. Crazy. It's such a good game. The physics in it are ridiculous. It's so much fun to get into fights with the Nazis and the fascists and just hitting people. Like everything is a weapon or so many things are. So you could grab like a skillet with bacon in it and eggs and just start hitting people with it.

It is great. Do you have all these? I was thinking about like food and stuff, because there's so much food in that game that you can eat and like boost your stamina. But you can also just throw it if you want to. Oh, fantastic. Could you stop a sausage up a Nazi nose? No sausages, unfortunately. Could you stop a sausage up a Nazi nose? No sausages, unfortunately.

Can you throw bacon? Bacon? You can't. But it like sticks in the skillet when you swing it. So like it stays there as you're hitting them. It's fantastic. Does he say lots of fun one liners? Does it sound like Harrison Ford? Oh, Troy Baker does such an insane job.

He's so good. He's pretty as Harrison Ford. He does. So, yeah, he killed it. No, there's not a lot of one-liners. Did you see the interview where he talked about, like Todd Howard told him that like, you will not be the voice of Indiana Jones. Did you hear about that? No, I saw that there was like a headline where he was like,

he really didn't want him to be. He did, he told him that you won't be the voice of Indiana Jones. So he auditioned for it and then got picked. And then it got down to a blind listening of three people. And every single person picked Troy Baker. And Todd Howard told him, everyone picked you, so you will be Indiana Jones.

He does great. I fell in love with that game because it's like a very kind of physics world and the rag dolls are dumb where you can charge up your punch. You can do like a Falcon, Indiana Jones punch. And I was sneaking up. You can you can walk up and if you hit like an enemy without them noticing you, you do more damage.

So it was this Nazi sitting at a table and then two Nazis in front of the table, like probably like five, six feet away, looking the other direction, like none of them sneaking up on all of them. And I charged up my fist and I hit the Nazi in the back of the head and just the physics like this was in a scripted event. I hit him so hard, his head went into the table and the table cracked in half just from the impact of it. And then that made a noise, which alerted the two Nazis in front of them.

And they turned around like, what the fuck was that? And just see this table cracked in half and the knocked out guy and then it escalating into a brawl. So much fun. I laughed so hard. Do you clip it? I didn't clip it. I should have clipped it, but I was just so it was so unexpected to punch a dude so hard. I've never hit someone so hard in the game.

They went through a table. It just felt so good. We should watch you stream it on one of the stream days. That'd be fun. Comment over it. I'd love to see. Yeah, I finished it, unfortunately, but I would love to see one of you guys. Yeah, like watch Nick play it or something or Gavin. Yeah, as somebody who doesn't care about Indiana Jones at all,

it has me wanting to watch all of those movies because I haven't seen. I don't think any of the good ones. First three are fantastic. I've seen Crystal Skull and the Temple one, the second one, I think. Mm hmm. Temple of Doom. Yeah, smooth sucks. What's up? Temple of Doom sucks. It doesn't suck. It's just not great. I feel like people don't like Temple of Doom. It's still better than the new shit. It's still worth watching.

Kali Ma and all that stuff's fucking great. I like one in three. One three. I'd go one three two and then no point in the others. I was about to ask is the most recent one worth watching? The only one I have access to. No. Dial of Destiny I think it's called.

That's what's called. That property doesn't feel like it hits the same but I'm really hoping that the game got some life to it. It's it's incredible what they did with that game. It's so much fun to just run around and throw shit. I mean, I know it's incredibly old at this point, but I can't imagine Raiders of the Lost Ark not being phenomenal on a first watch. You know, I imagine you'll absolutely love it.

I've seen the beginning of it and it was funny watching the beginning knowing who Alfred Molina is, but not knowing the movie and being like, oh, he's in this, he's going to be around a while. And he has essentially no role and dies immediately. He gets a spike through his head, doesn't he? Yeah, he does. Yeah. It's surprisingly gruesome for like a PG movie. Yeah. Is it PG? Yeah.

Interesting. That was the 80s, man. You could be gruesome. Yeah. I don't think PG 13 had been invented yet at it. I assume not. What was the 80s man. You could be gruesome. Yeah. I don't think PG-13 had been invented yet, had it? I assume not. What was the first PG-13 movie? I feel like we've talked about this before. I think we have. First PG-13 movie is Red Dawn.

Yeah. December of 1984. Red Dawn. I haven't seen that. You know when dudes are about to fight sometimes and they just like square up on each other and they get real close. It looks like they're close enough to kiss each other. Yes. Where does that come from?

Are people doing that because they've seen it in films or is it just a leftover piece of natural instinct from like animal behavior? I think it's genetic. I think it's natural instinct. Yeah, it's weird to see. It's weird to see that it's real and happens in real life because I've never done it. Well, like the stare down like the hold me back kind of like pre fight. Yeah It's like right like inch an inch away from someone's face and like talking at him in that. Yeah That's an interesting question of because like obviously that's such a thing in competitive fighting the stare down

But was the stare down the catalyst to that or was was it just you understand what I'm saying? Like did was it natural like is it is it in our past and want to do that? Like is that impressive because it is something in our DNA from the past Well, like animals front on each other like that and before they headbutt and all that that's true They like a gorilla's posture up too. And it's like, I don't know how true this is, but I read somewhere on the internet years ago that like, the reason we find people tripping and falling funny is because evolutionarily it like releases an endorphin of relief because evolutionarily when we were all like running from saber tooth tigers, if somebody tripped and fell, that meant you were safe. But other stuff that couldn't have been anywhere near animal related is still funny. It's true. It's true. Who knows if that's true.

It's just a funny thing to think about. I must really enjoy feeling safe as I will just search person falling. I'd like to know what the caveman version of a guy getting hit in the balls with a skateboard or a football is, because that's that's my sweet spot. Oh, I saw a great one of a woman that was leaning out of a train for like an artistic video, like a shot. And then she got hit by a tree like a branch. I watched it 50 times this morning.

Dude, she lived. Oh, yeah. Unclear. Oh, I'm assuming. Yeah. I'm sure she's fine. Do you have the clip? It's not not at the ready, but yeah. I think I sent it to Emily. I'll look for it and since I mean, anyone falling is great. Whenever there's a new fall, was it Olivia Rodrigo that had that great fall recently where she just fell on the stage?

Mm hmm. You see that one, Gavin? I don't think so. There's like a stage door still open and she was like walking like she was singing and walking and just fell into the hole. Oh my God. Hard down. Who left the hole open? Somebody who used to work there. Josh Hartnett had to try to escape. It was a whole trap thing. He's a killer.

That movie bums me out. I think more than any movie I've seen this year. It's upsetting. I still haven't seen it. Finally, somebody else agrees. I've always agreed. Like like number one with a bullet on most disappointing movie of the year. Now that it's on like a rentable platform, I get clips of it on TikTok occasionally. And it's all the scenes before that movie goes bad.

And it is so disappointing to be like, oh, this is I remember watching this movie in the moment and not realizing how bad it was going to be. Really enjoying it at this stage. Oh, such a waste. What a dumb. That movie fucking sucks. Ultimately, I guess I'm just never going to know. Like with most of his films, you should see. Mm, no, I'm good.

So good. And then it's not. It might be the movie that hits the highest. Talking about ranges, bagel ranges, that movie, I think, hits like an eight and ends up at a two. Oh, wow. That's a big swing. Yeah. I mean, that's definitely how it feels to like. And there's a moment where it happens and it's very sad. Does he escape in a spaceship or something? That would be cooler than what that would be so awesome

Oh my god, that would be fucking rad compared to what happens I am so dreading groceries this week. Why you can skip it. Oh what just like that Just like that. How about dinner with my third cousin? Skip it. Prince Fluffy's favorite treats? Skippable. Midnight snacks? Skip.

My neighbor's nightly saxophone practices? Er, nope, you're on your own there. Coulda skipped it? Shoulda skipped it. Skip to the good part and get groceries, meals, and more delivered right to your door on skip. Get groceries delivered across the GTA from Real Canadian Superstore with PC Express. Shop online for super prices and super savings. Try it today and get up to $75 in PC Optimum Points.

Visit superstore.ca to get started. I've been thinking about getting into Sarsaparilla. Sarsaparilla? Yeah, I had some up when I was in Branson and I've been thinking about getting into sarsaparilla. Sarsaparilla? Yeah, I had some up when I was in Branson and I've been thinking about it and I can't get it here. I don't see it anywhere. I went to World Market, figured they definitely have it. They don't have shit.

And now because I can't find it, I want it a lot. What is it? Drink? Yeah, it's kind of like root beer. It's essentially root beer. I don't know that it's different in any way than root beer. Yeah, it is like, I think it's root beer, it's just like a different root,

like a slightly different root. I just, I think that's all it is. But it's fun to say, Sarsaparilla, and the brand I had was Sioux City Sarsaparilla, which is even more fun to say. Ooh. You know, three hard S's, it's pretty good. And so I wanna get some, if anybody knows where I can get

some Sioux City Sarsparilla in Austin around these parts You let me know cow poke That's what you drink in Fallout New Vegas is Sunset sasparilla and I always thought that was cool. Yeah, I don't remember that That's cool. I want to play New Vegas again That's the best one. It's just the best one Because it's the only one they didn't make hey honestly, yeah It's the best one because it's the only one they didn't make. Hey, honestly. Yeah. Thanks, Obsidian. Yeah.

I found a place where you can order it, but it's just online. Sorry, Jeff. It's not the same, you know. You want to you want to hitch your horse up to a post and saddle on in and order a fresh one right off the tap. Oh, if you could install a tap in your house that could dispense any drink, would it be in your house? Well, today it'd be sarsaparilla. Probably cold brew coffee.

You would drink way too much of that if it came out of a tap. It would be such an issue for my day to day life, but boy, what a ride those two weeks would be. Yeah, I feel like the effort involved in coffee keeps people from ODing on caffeine Oh apps I've had two cups today and I want to make another one but we're not gonna have time in between stuff because it just takes a Little too long. How long does it take? I can give you time. Oh, no, no, no I'm just curious. I'm just sure no I understand that

I'm just curious about how long it takes to like heat the water and everything I just need like 10 minutes to like Well, I'm gonna need about 15 minutes to take the dog Because he's gonna need to pee after two podcasts so do you will with that time that it's just it's that thing where it's just Just the amount of time is like ooh, maybe but boy. I'm almost out of beans the whole thing It's just the whole thing. What about Nick and Andrew? What would be in your taps?

I think I know myself too well. It would be, as Eric said, a problem. Have like a soda or something. I think I'd just go with like a sparkling water. Maybe like an orange bubble. Hmm. Oh. I have Pepsi.

Oh, man. I almost like similar to Eric's, the cold brew coffee. But I think I would go with something that's more of like when I go with a dark beer. This is great. We're all playing pretend and Nick is treating it like he has to make a decision for what's about to go in his home.

I appreciate that though. I'm glad he's not just shitting out a meaningless answer. Thanks for really caring. To be clear, you're installing this in your house and you can't change it, and it's permanently there So then if you're going to sell your home at some point you need to factor in that this is part of your house Yes, but a vase over or something I fucking that's a selling point You know how many people were interested in that stupid pizza oven. This is the same thing oh

People liked your your house because of the pizza place. Yeah, dude. That was a fucking I heard about it a bunch. Yeah, see, Tony shouldn't have demolished it. Well, I didn't, did I? I said, uh, fucking you put a little thing instead of a pizza oven, it's got a, you know, open floor plan, high ceilings, sasparilla tap. They're going to be all over. Would you lead with sasparilla tap. They're going to be all over. Would you lead with sasparilla tap?

Sasparilla tap, two bedroom, three bathroom. Four tap the upstairs sasparilla tap is the is the real rary. This is a funny thing, but we saw the TV show Hacks and in the TV show Hacks, the main character has a soda machine in her house like you had at the like a McDonald's, you know, like a full one. And Emily, once she saw that that's an option, has it is number one on her list of when we buy the Michigan house that's going to have a basement in it. Because all Michigan homes have basements. The first thing she's installing, she's already looked into it. They're affordable. She's found companies that do it. She's installing a soda thing in our basement. Could you just if you had, I mean, obviously,

if you have the money, you can enough money, you could do whatever. But how accessible is a Coke freestyle machine? That's a great question. You have to have like a business license to have one. Like you have to be an establishment. Can you just recreationally buy a freestyle machine? But like why the freestyle Jeff only wants diet coke. You know what I mean?

It's just it's the jukebox of the soda world. I like having the variety of choices How's it was like a guy come by and just fill it up with syrups Yeah, or you can buy your own syrup. You probably do it yourself. Hmm. They have smaller countertop units for 21k Jesus Jesus That is expensive man. That's why you don't see him very often Why don't they have them just in the in the street? A vending machine. Are you at what? No, like you know how there's like public water fountains just out Why doesn't every road just have like a seven up fountain? Yeah, you just pick what you want and go up to it and it's just like all the houses share it. Who pays for it?

Who pays for a power pole? So you want the co-freestyle machine to come out of our taxes? Well, you don't need one in your house. You just walk outside. You don't have to take a little stroll care. Yeah, you walk outside you shave and then you go get your seven up. You go to the communal shave house. Fill up your neighborhood beard box and then go get a bucket of diet Pepsi.

I don't know, there's so much stuff that could so easily be shared. It's like the town well Timmy fell in the mountain do well Gavin just discovered hippie communes, and he's all about it. Yep But if it was if it was treated well, I think it'd be fine isn't that most things Do guys listen if nothing happened to it nothing would happen to it. Yeah, yeah, it was treated well put it think it'd be fine. Isn't that most things? Guys, listen, if nothing happened to it, nothing would happen to it. It's great. Yeah. If it was treated well.

Put it next to a mailbox. That's just the equivalent of would be good if done right. It's like, well, yeah, why would you do it wrong? A soda well would be a problem because the carbonation, right? You need to have something constantly carbonating it. It'd be like a giant soda stream that was constantly like, ksh, ksh, at regular intervals at the bottom. Most of the unit would be a CO2 canister. carbonating it. It'd be like a giant soda stream that was constantly like

I feel like most of the unit would be a CO2 canister. While digging my well, I accidentally nicked a CO2 pipe. I want to start. I think we should start one. What we need to do is weatherproof one of these machines. Do that be the fucking worst? You dig it in your backyard and you don't call the city first and you nick the fucking soda line and you end up putting mud and everybody's soda line and then everybody in the fucking town hates you because you got to flush it out.

Why is my muddle bubbly? You just see someone needing mud. Just see someone lend over on their front lawn looking like Mr. Freeze is just gone. They think the CO2 light. In Austin, in Austin fucking Texas, it would work for two years and then you'd be like, why does it taste like this? And they'd be like, oh yeah, there's zebra mollusks in the Pepsi again.

We can't get rid of them. It'll be like this every three years forever until it gets worse. I hate the idea of a soda well. If you're not from Austin, we have these things called zebra mollusks that they literally cannot remove for some reason. And they just make our water taste like fish for like three weeks and you got to boil it for like every couple of years. I just you should just do that anyway with the Austin water. Yeah, well, the water is not good. Rancid stuff. Terrible piece of shit.

Ain't no soda well Say that well, let's let's register that company. I think it'll be big Somebody spiked the soda well with root beer for this fine sucks Just put one at the back of every cul-de-sac. Are you a neighbors guy Gavin? Do you like knowing your neighbors like interacting with your neighbors? Uh No Then this seems like a terrible thing delete well soda well for everybody Do you like knowing your neighbors like interacting with your neighbors? Uh, no Then this seems like a terrible thing to lead. Well soda well for everybody the communal well Maybe it would help me get involved in the community And just trying to figure out who the cucumber lady is Maybe this will get me involved in the community

involved in the community. I sat idly by until the soda well. And I realized it's time for me to make a change. This this reminds me of a conversation I had with Emily recently where I drove through my old neighborhood, where I sold, you know, where I sold the house that I had lived at for six years. And I felt kind of sad. I hadn't experienced this before, but I felt kind of sad because there was like nobody to wave at or no like neighbor friends.

And I realized that when we moved, I didn't say goodbye to a single neighbor and a single neighbor didn't say goodbye to me. And I was telling Emily about it and I was like, I just felt kind of like we lived there for six years and didn't really leave a mark or matter or know anybody or make any kind of an imprint So when you leave it feels like you were never there, you know And it just kind of bums me out and she was like well

Maybe you should make an effort with our current neighbors then and I was like what the fuck are you thinking? Oh my god And then I realized how much I don't care about that other thing because it would mean I'd have to talk to people And then I realized how much I don't care about that other thing because it would mean I'd have to talk to people Reminds me of when I think if you if you could get in and out without leaving a mark, I think you've done it Right. Yeah, man. I don't know most of the name the people across the street for me. I didn't know their names for six years I remember saying I said goodbye to my old neighbor who lived next door I said goodbye to my old neighbor who lived next door to a house where some crazy shit happened and I said sorry for being the worst neighbors in the world and he said it was real interesting.

You're worse than the crazy shit that happened. Dude. See, like I would much rather never have a conversation than have to carry that one around for the rest of my life. It was real interesting. Oh, man. I'll be thinking about that at 1 a.m. for the next 30 years. How often do they think about how interesting it was?

How much did they enjoy the interest that you generated for them? Like interesting isn't good. If it was good, he would have said good. It was interesting was like the nicest way he could say it. Yeah. It's the least offensive thing he could think of to say. I was fully expected just a generic, you know, no worries, man. Or don't be a stranger or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm assuming it's slow most stuff, right? That was the cause of No, okay Is that's a good interesting

You're blowing shit up next door and filming in slow motion Very interesting now people honestly usually keen with the slow-mo stuff. They're interested. Yeah, the other thing that they're not as keen on I'm the I'm excited That when we're done with this podcast today We're gonna record a gameplay and I don't know when it's gonna come out I don't know if it's like a surprise or anything does anybody have any opinions on that? It should come out before the end of the year. I Bet it doesn't I think maybe you're insane.

Well, I mean, it's technically a part of a series that always comes out this time of year. Well, it's a start of a new tradition where we film it in the correct month and then we release it when we're able to. That's been a tradition for six good months right now of that tradition. You don't think we could record and upload a video with a two week window? It's not that it's first of all, it's a two week window and a time in which people are the least available of the

year. Second of all, we already have stuff scheduled. We're scheduled for the rest of the year. You were in the meeting. It was a very big point that I made about scheduled for the rest of the year. You were in the meeting. It was a very big point that I made about scheduling through the end of the year. We can shuffle stuff, but two major holidays in the next two weeks is gonna really get in the way of any time. Yeah, and the day that this is released is Christmas.

And I would argue the third thing is that this is a completely different interpretation of a thing. It's not like it's the exact same thing. It's not a one-to-one different thing It's like a thematic or thematic sequel. Yeah real different. Well. It's in a completely different game with different people anyway different man

Interesting to you keep an eye out. If it's sometime in the undefined nearest future, probably 2025, a video may come out that may or may not be a spiritual successor to another thing or identical to it. Well, you'll just have to wait and see. I understand that it was, we're scheduled out is unlikely that we don't be right to like it's completely impossible. It just seems like an insane suggestion. I don't think it's it was we're scared it out is unlikely that we don't be right to like it's completely impossible.

It just seems like an insane suggestion. I don't think it's insane. Like it was going to happen. I know how to get it. I haven't. I know how to get it done. Gavin said the magic word. We just need to get Ethan Hunt.

Oh, the impossible. We need to get IMS involved. This is in accepting that mission. He's going to listen to it. Is it? I'm good. Send it straight to the top Double oh a double oh four is gonna come through and edit this link for us You're acting like this is the exact same thing is

Eating a meal with any group of people identical to you. This is great This one-to-one that he's making I'm so excited about go ahead. What did you just say? So you- we are- you're like, oh, it's completely the same. We're playing a different game and there's different people involved in it. The only- there's an act that's the same. So I'm saying like the act of eating dinner, although the same in concept, is wildly different depending on who you're eating it with. Yeah, but dinner is a long standing series. Dinner is a long standing series? I have dinner all the time on the reg.

And I don't think, oh, we can't get that done by tonight. We're going to have to have dinner for breakfast. You've never had dinner for breakfast? Never had a breakfast dinner? You've never had a breakfast there? You've never flipped it up? Done breakfast for dinner? I'm gonna slide my slide. It's 8 out of 10.

Yeah, this is an 8 out of 10 big time. It's just an insane. It's not insane to make a video that comes out in... Dinner happens though, okay? Are you having dinner every time at the exact same hour, the exact same minute, the exact same second. Are you not allowed to have dinner at nine o'clock one day and then seven o'clock another day? Dinner still dinner. Yeah, dinner is still happening anytime in the evening.

That's why I'm saying anytime in this entire month, this entire month of two weeks, two weeks, there's 20, what? 19 days left in this month. Cut out weekends, weekend 18, 17, 16, 15. Got 15 days. Okay, 15 days of that weekend. You got Christmas. Yeah.

You got New Year's. Well, that's next month. Cut out Christmas Eve, please. I'm not making anybody work on Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve. I mean, that's cruel. Ten days. Listen, it can't be done, but you seem to you're it's the fact that you're acting like

this is a tradition that needs to be upheld when I'm saying that I don't think it is part of the truth. All right. It was just, you know, nice to have an end of year, a little summary, a little something. I agree. And that's why we're going to do our best to get that video out in twenty twenty four. And when we don't, it'll be out in twenty twenty five. Yeah, I just want to rewind a little bit. So is dinner your favorite series or no? It's up there. That's a good one. What's the most important series of the day to get right? Because I feel like breakfast.

I canceled breakfast years ago. What is this? Guys, I got big news. Lunch is being renewed. I like how each other's strengths we are throughout throughout the show and them in the most low stakes way possible.

I don't think anything we've ever talked about matters. Eight out of ten, eight out of ten, eight out of ten. I'm at a nine point seven we've ever talked about matters. I'm at a nine point seven right now. This is the happiest I've been in a while. The most important series of the day was such a good line. God is so funny. Holy shit, you hear about the spin off. It's called brunch.

Fucking crazy midseason pickup Go back and do more dinner. I'm sick all this We're doing February here this 28 episode run in February shit. Oh, it's a leap year Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Speaking of getting a meal together, the other day, Eric and Nick and I got hot dogs together at a new place.

What was that place called? Mad dogs? I was jealous of those pictures coming in. I can tell from all the paper you were in the same place. So do we thumbs up or down that place? Or is that a place where we're promoting, condoning? I think it's good if you're around there. It's definitely like a late night drunk spot, but yeah, I mean, it's also hot dogs.

So really, it wasn't going to be bad. It was pretty good. I liked it. Chili cheese fries were great. I think the chili cheese fries were better than the hot dogs, but the hot dogs were fine. Yeah, definitely worth checking out. If you're if you're over there, I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't like make a journey to get there or anything. But yeah, you guys talk about anything cool. What did we about? Uh, I don't know that it was anything cool

We just kind of just like a lot of chatter some work stuff figured out some different things Yeah, I don't know. I thought it was nice. I Pitched them. I pitched the boys on an idea that I pitched Andrew on recently Kind of threw that out there. Would you say that lunch is getting renewed based off of that experience, yeah Yeah, I would like to renew I would like to renew Maybe it I don't well I don't know if it's considered the same series if we renew but we go to a different location mmm, like if we shoot in a different location because I'd like to I'd like to go to yesterday I had not a damn chance burger and

It's one of the best hamburgersers I've had in a long time. And so if we were to have another lunch, I'd like to I'd like to do it, but I'd like to change. I don't know if it has to be a new series order or if we if it's considered as a part of the same lunch. But I'd like to have it there. Now, how many consecutive lunches in a row does Gavin need to be part of to be bumped from a special guest to series regular? Six. Six. OK. Because I'd like to see him in the mix. I really enjoyed his one appearance.

That is great. We'd all like to see him in the mix. Everyone would love to see him. And when he guests, he's the most popular. Everybody loves to see it. Brightens everyone's day and easy to hot dog. Easy to hot dog. No, he needs to eat. He needs to.

Oh, yeah. We were talking about if you would have gotten a hot dog while we were there, or because they had hamburgers and stuff too, and we were just wondering if like you would have gotten a hot dog. I feel like if everyone else was dogging, I'd dog. I agree with that. That seems like the move. Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them.

Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only six dollars at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine in only until 11 a.m. You've always wanted to be part of something bigger than yourself. You live for experience and lead by example.

You want the most out of life and realize what you're looking for is already in you. This is for you. The Canadian Armed Forces, a message from the government of Canada. What saw Sarsaparilla? What? What? Somebody spelled Sarsasparilla wrong? Okay, I think was that told us our spree sasparilla

Suicide sasparilla no sasparilla such separate. No, not only anybody mentioned star sasparilla, okay I don't even know what we're talking about that Nick posted a reddit thread in the discord Where somebody was asking if where you can get sarsaparilla on tap? There's no useful info in there by the way, but but they spelled sarsaparilla s-a-r-s-a-p-a-r-i-l-l-a sarsaparilla I have a question for Gavin. Okay. You went home recently Yeah, you do any good scouting of like what the current British snack scene is?

Oh my god, that's how it's spelled Saw Sapparilla is how you spell sass perilla. I had no idea. That's how you spell sass perilla I'm a fucking idiot. Holy shit. Why is it pronounced sass perilla? I don't know that's blown my mind that Yeah, it looks so wrong written sauce sasparilla Nick You're the only one of us that isn't a dumbass right now Eric is a dumbass by omission He was right. He would have chimed in so we know you didn't know but Gavin Gavin and and Andrew and I are fucking stupid. Well, I've only it's I've only heard it said I don't think I've ever seen it.

Yeah, I've never seen it. Really. But so Nick, you already knew that. Yeah, the Simpsons. Oh, I've also seen the Simpsons. But I didn't know it was the episode where Grandpa Simpson has kidneys explode. He's drinking the sarsaparilla at the bar. Is that what happens? And it's spelled correctly on the. Yeah, his kidneys explode because he held his pee afterwards.

Sar Sapa. I'm not going to call it sarsap call it sass brulee mama call it what it is our saparilla I'm gonna order a Sioux City sarsaparilla. I never thought about it I've seen it spelled so many times because of fallout new Vegas and that is how it's held everywhere It just yeah, it's just the word is so long with so many s's. It's just a series of squiggles to me You like site beat it. You know at it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you like you see it It's just the word is so long with so many S's. It's just a series of squiggles to me. You like site read it, you know, look at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you see it.

Nothing else looks like marsupial is the only word that looks similar to sarsaparilla. Oh, yeah. If it doesn't start with an M, then I know it's sarsaparilla. If it starts with an M, I know it's marsupial. More supial. We should invent a drink called sarsaparilla and it's spelled the way we think sarsaparilla is.

And then put that out and then we can sue all the makers of sarsaparilla for stealing our fucking product. Andrew, is that how you think you spell marsupial? I just, I took a swing at it. I've never done it. I've never thought about it. You think it has the word soup in the middle?

Yeah, well it's very it sounds like more okay. Let me try to figure this out so my initial attempt Okay, was ma RS. Oh you P. I al What about this? Oh, you know what what if I get a little fancy with it? Oh, that's more soup eel Mar s you Mar sup, okay with it oh that's marsupial MarSupial Marsupial okay what about this once. Okay. M-A-R-E-S-O-U-P-I-A-L. What? No. Mersupial? Mersupial. What? Mersupial?

Okay, tell me. Let me. Are we just going to keep going until you spell it? I'm going to read. I'm going to start going letter by letter and you tell me when I'm wrong and then I'll work until I get it right. That way. M. Yeah, you got that. A. Yeah.

R. Yep. R? No. S. Okay. M. Yeah, you got that. A. Yeah. R. Yep. R? No, what? S. What? Yes.

Yes. O. No. No. U. Yes. P. Yes.

Isn't it exactly how it sounds? I. Yes. A. Yes. Yes. I can't believe I never put that in. That's insane.

L. I made like 15 guesses you got real close You just had two peas on one of them. I just looked it up and Sarsaparilla spell how I thought it was spelled calm is available for $12,000 So a lot of sarsaparilla though for that that. Oh, fucking is Sarsaparilla available? Yeah, yeah. Look up Sarsaparilla.com. No one will ever go to it, but check it out. Sarsaparilla.com. Unavailable, unfortunately. Bummer. What about any of the ways Andrew spelled Marsupial?

Andrew spelled marsupial. With soup in the middle is so crazy. Sorry, 404 error. Marsupial, I need to email webmaster marsupial.com. Would any of the marsupials be soupable? What's the most soupable marsupial? Oh, that's a great question. I gave you a list. There it is.

Possum soup exists. Kangaroo soup is probably real. Yeah. Potaroos, that seems like potatoes, and I think you could probably do that. Oh, pota, pota, pota-roo? Pota-roo, that seems like potato. It's pretty close.

Ooh, I would eat a bandicoot. Oh, dude, did you know that I only found out, okay, that sucks. Andrew, it's in front of you. Yeah, I can't see it. It's too small. I'd have to click it. I only found out a bandicoot was a real animal like last year. Really? Yeah, I thought it was made up.

I thought they made up a bandicoot. I learned Wolverines are real from Far Cry. And I was disappointed. You just think it was an X-Man? Yeah, I just thought it was an X-Man name. I knew that the Michigan Wolverines named themselves after a movie. I don't have Michigan Wolverines in my life. It's a US college.

Fair enough. What about Tasmanian devils? Yeah, they'd strike me as real. That's a cryptid. Did you say that you couldn't read the spelling because it's too small? Yeah. You know you can click on it. You can spelling because it's too small? Yeah. You know, you can click on it. Yeah.

I said I didn't. I'd have to click on it. I specified that. Oh, we were, you know, don't go out of your way. What's a numbat? Numbat might be my new favorite creature. These things are. Oh my God.

These things are cool. A numbat? Look at this thing. Look at his tongue. Oh, wow. Dude, numbat might be the new hotness. You know that dude's popular That's a lot of non bat bats. Yeah Should we have a bats not bats draft? Might be worth doing. Oh, that's pretty good. That's not bats draft

I'm putting it on the list here. I'll put it on. Is Bruce Wayne a bat that is not a bat? Or is Batman a bat that is not a bat? I think so. He's not an actual bat. Or are they both? Is man bat one? Well, I mean, he's a bat. I think he's part bat. I think he's part bat, yeah. Is Bruce Wayne more bat than Batman is?

I want you to explain what you mean. Okay, so Bruce Wayne is just a guy, right? But he's super into bats. I would say that Bruce Wayne comes across as more of a bat enthusiast than Batman I thought you said the guy who goes about his life in a business suit from day to day is Expresses more bat like aura than a guy who flies around dressed up as a bat all night and says he's a Batman And hangs upside down and jumps on people when you put it like that. No, no When you explain it or we think about it for two seconds. No, I guess I'm wrong No, no, it's just my thought was that like Batman to me is not hmm when I see Batman

I don't think that I think I like Cape Crusader. I think fucking first thing. I think I think I don't think of bats But Bruce Wayne, there's a bat on it like on his chest. Totally. Absolutely. Like the symbolism, but he doesn't go is I can't like there's no way for me to explain this in a way that would make sense to anybody else. But Batman himself as a person doesn't necessarily strike me as a dude who's into bat as much as he is just a Batman, where Bruce Wayne strikes me as a man that is into bats, but has nothing to do with them, but is very into them.

So so he's more of a bat enthusiast than when he's a bat. He's less of an when he's a bat. He's just a bat. He just happens to be a bat. But when he's a man, just a normal man, he is an enthusiast of bats. Is this the worst thing you've ever said? He's a man, just a normal man, he is an enthusiast of bats. Is this the worst thing you've ever said? I don't think so. I'm at a four, I think? Yeah, I wanna slide.

What, you wanna bow? There's gonna be one person that gets what I'm saying and they're with me, and that's okay. Oh, that's a bummer. The other version of him, he has bat wing cape and flies around. He lives in a bat cave. He has bat wing cape and flies around. He lives in a bat cave. He drives a bat car.

But he... Okay. But Bruce Wayne put all that together. He throws a batarang. They're one in the... Bruce Wayne did all that. Like, I don't... I think Batman is a product of Bruce Wayne, who's really into bats. So because Bruce Wayne decided and created a costume where he was a bat, he is more Batman than when he's wearing it. Yes. That's what you mean. Like, yes. I would say that he is more than a Batman,

but when he wears the costume, he is the he is the distilled vision of what his bat enthusiasm is. He is the most of that thing he could be. So when when Tony Stark makes Peter Parker the nanotech spider suit with that with the four other legs that come out of the back, does that mean Tony Stark is Spider-Man? Can I rephrase this in a different way? OK, so you have let's say let's say crocodile Dundee. That guy's really in the crocodile. I got this. I like that. He's a man, but he's a man and he's super into crocodiles. He's clearly in the crocodiles.

If he if crocodile Dundee was a crocodile, that doesn't necessarily mean he's in the crocodiles. He's just a crocodile. But he is a man. But he's more of a crocodile, that doesn't necessarily mean he's in the crocodiles. He's just a crocodile. But he is a man. But he's more of a crocodile. What if he was a crocodile? He'd be more of a crocodile than a human man. Yeah, but I'm saying like Batman likes bats less than Bruce Wayne likes bats.

Is that what you're saying? OK, I'm a person. That doesn't mean I'm a person enthusiast. So what if a dog was really into person culture? They would be more of an enthusiast about being a person than I am. So there's a there's a man and a raccoon in the street as a bus coming for them. You can dive and save one of them. You would not save the person. No, I would save the person. Absolutely. Even if you're not a huge people person. Yeah. Well, because I value our human life more than a raccoon life. That's pretty people of you.

Unless the human made the whatever the slug bomb of the food bank, whatever weapon you made, I let them get hit. What if the raccoon was a guardian of the galaxy, though, and trying on an important mission? Now that's you threw a real wrench in this plan. How much time do I have to determine if this this raccoon is a guardian of the galaxy or not? I mean, it has to have a laser blaster on it, probably. Or like bandolieros.

You know, I think I would be able to identify that quick enough that I would be able to make the right choice. Fair enough. Although I think Rocket Raccoon could survive getting hit by a bus today. Love to find out. I someone understands what I'm saying. Well, I think I do, but I don't know why you're saying it. Yeah, I don't remember either, because we've gotten so far off track. I don't remember what started the conversation.

Numbats are supial. Yeah, we were going to have a bats not bats draft, I think. Oh, that's yeah. Yeah, exactly. OK. So you would draft Bruce Wayne. I would draft Bruce Wayne over Batman, because I think that Oh, that's yeah. Yeah, exactly. OK. So you would drop Bruce Wayne. I would drop Bruce Wayne over Batman, because I think that's Bruce Wayne is more. Have them. I mean, it's I'm drafting Batman, so it's fine. Yeah, but I'm drafting Danny Devito as man bat, who is still a man.

I feel like man's spider, not spider. Yeah. Yeah. You messed it all up. You're all blue. Blew it all up in my head. I'd go Bruce Wayne and show. Hey, Tony. Blew it all up in my head. I'd go Bruce Wayne then Shohei Otani. OK. I got my pick. I mean, I'm good. I already know who I'm drafting for my bat.

Not bad draft. All four. No, I got I have most of them. Oh, I think, yeah, I could probably I could probably do it pretty easy. Is a vampire a bat? Not bad. The vampire is a bat. Really? What? I don't I don't know about that. About? In all cases, is what I'm saying.

A vampire being a bad. Well, I mean, in reality, though, the Twilight kids are not there are no bats involved in Twilight. It's baseball. Yeah. You know what? Actually, I take back my point. You're right. That's a good point. And baseball uses bats. Yeah. That's a great point.

You're right. I was wrong about that. point. And baseball uses bats. Yeah, that's a great point. You're right. I was wrong about that. That was you deactivated the Twilight bats. Oh, man, that was impressive. That was no action movie deactivation. There was six minutes on the clock and you defuse that bomb. That was great. Just like Bruce Wayne would do. Just like Bruce Wayne would do. Do you think if it came down to it, you'd be a bomb diffuser or a bomb get rid of her?

A bomb get rid of her. Yeah, absolutely. Just trying to sling it to safety. Yeah, I don't. Well, hmm. No, yeah, I'd get rid of it. I guess I would wonder if you cut a wire, would it instantly blow up? Because in movies, they always present that that like that could happen. Certainly could happen. What if you cut all the wires at once?

Anyone ever done that? same time Well, if there's a battery that doesn't have wires They always say that if you don't do it the right sequence it'll trigger an immediate explosion, huh? If people read the description of the episodes that I write before they listen to the episode. Like the last things listed are the most super bowl marsupial bat, not bat draft, a person enthusiast and bomb defusal. That is what we've been talking about. That is where we're at as a show.

What are we going to talk about next time? I don't know. I'm excited to find out in 2025. This is exciting. Next episode will be the new year. Oh, sweet. If you Google image search bats that aren't bats, all you get is bats that are definitely bats. Interesting. Really? Here. Yes, you do.

It's just bats. It's just bats. It's just nothing but bats. Nothing but bats. Yeah. Bat city. Well, what would you expect it to return? Everything else that isn't a bat? A baseball bat, maybe?

Bats that aren't animals. Nope, just still bats. Not a bat. What would you have to put into Google with bat as a part of your search for it to return no pictures of bats? I'm Googling show me things that aren't bats. Google image search. First things a bat.

Yeah, it's all bats. If you search don't show me a single picture of a bat. Would it show? Here, here. Hang on. Hang on. Here we go. Don't show me a single picture of a bat.

OK. Nope. Ha ha ha ha ha. It's hot pots. It's just nothing but bats, guys. Hey, could you search vampire for me, please? Search vampire? Yeah, look a vampire.

Not a single bat. There's bats right here. Where? There is a bat above. I didn't even have to scroll down, there's bats right here. Well, those are wings, but there's a bat right there. What are you talking about? There's bats in the picture! Oh, I didn't even see them. Yeah, you're right. I didn't see them.

There's bats in the picture, There's a bat in this one. Clearly bat focused. That's bats right there on the left. It's much smaller what we can see than we. Mm hmm. No, I understand. I understand. It's just the bat ratio a lot lower, though, with vampire.

Mm hmm. I just don't know what else you would search to not see bats. Nicholas used to try Bing. Try Bing. Bing not bats. Bing not bats. Just don't know what else you would search to not see bats Nick wants you to try Bing Bing not bats Okay, you only search not bats Okay Very different it's just a not like it's a sign that says no bats essentially across side ever say no bats

Wouldn't the sign say like warning? There's all bad vampires that aren't bad These are all bats yeah This one's mad at the mosquitoes vampires probably I blame this on I blame this agree. I'm with Jeff. I'm with Jeff. Yeah, I can suck it. Are mosquitoes vampires? Are bats mosquitoes? No, mosquitoes are not vampires. Bummer.

Why? While mosquitoes do suck blood, they are not obligated... Wait, they are not obligate bloodsuckers. I guess it's just for their babies. Meaning they can get nutrients from other sources. Like what? They drink nectar? Oh, weird.

Yeah, they just drink nectar, I think. But then if the female is making eggs, it needs mammal blood or something. Crazy. So I've been staking them in the heart for no reason. Shit. Jeff, wrap us up. Get us out of here. We have to go. Does a vampire have to live on blood to be a vampire?

Yeah, exclusively, right? Is a vampire blood obligate? Don't we all live on blood? At a technical level? Research indicates... Oh, this is about vampire bats. Oh. Yes, vampire bats are obligate blood eating mammals.

So I would assume that vampires normal style are. OK, there you go. Well, there you go. It sounds like it's time for me to wrap this up. I'd like to leave you all with a thought, something to take into your into your lives after you leave the podcast with to think about for the rest of the week. Maybe it'll help you through something in your life.

I was thinking I was just a Howard Stern the other day. He was talking about how he used to jack off to girdle ads all about for the rest of the week. Maybe it'll help you through something in your life. I was thinking, I was listening to Howard Stern the other day, he was talking about how he used to jack off to girdle ads all the time in the newspaper, and it reminded me that when we were kids, we would always jack off to Sears catalogs, right? And then now, the porn is so much more plentiful with the internet, and it's like technology

has really improved that, but I was taking it back the other way. I thought like, man, it's so much easier to jerk off the stuff than it used to be. Howard had to do it in girdle ads. What was worse than that? And I realized, I was thinking about when I was walking around your castles in England, Gavin, and they had tapestries everywhere.

And those were like the TVs of the day. So do you think back in the day when people hung out in castles, do you think they ever jerked off to their tapestries? There's like a guy in town who has the dirtiest taps Yeah Yeah You just like you roll out like you feel your wife goes out of town for the weekend to visit her sister and you roll

Out a tapestry and hanging up on the wall in your bedroom and you just beat it furiously They're all double-sided and he just spins around Do you have tapestries that are like crusty and hard? You know, you get like anyway, if you had to, if you had to for a week, I'll say a month, you could only monk off to pre 1800s porn. Could you do it? Yeah. Like monk off. I think that was the subtitle of one of the Alvin and Chipmunks reboots. The second one was Monk off. I'm actually taking it further back at cave paintings. Take that into your personal life and see how you can apply it to your day to day.

And we'll see you right back here next week for another episode of the regulation podcast coming at you in twenty twenty five. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, podcast coming at you in 2025. Is it Tick a vampire? Ticks real live vampires, according to Science for Georgia.