F**kface - F**kface Breaks Shit 6/21/2022
Episode Date: June 25, 2022Geoff and Eric are back to open card packs and see if they get a Zim. In this episode, we reveal that Garfield has died, there’s a Vancouver Child Kicker stamp, some awesome mail, if these Game of T...hrones cards are real, and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This is a Rooster Teeth production.
The mermaids weren't real, but what they did in the documentary, they tried to make real
mermaid footage, and they tried to trick you.
Are you doing an Anma-style
intro? I would never. Good morning,
Jeff. Good morning.
Good morning, Eric. Hello, and welcome to another episode of Face Breaks Shit.
This is the show where we break shit and talk about stuff and show off stuff.
We did a little bit of show and tell today, Eric, I'm excited about.
We've got some fun stuff.
Let's do it.
And you'll notice something special about today's episode.
Sort of an extra special episode.
We cut out all the hangers on. We got rid of Gavin. We got rid of Andrew. something special about today's episode. Sort of an extra special episode.
We cut out all the hangers on.
We got rid of Gavin.
We got rid of Andrew. We got rid of Emily.
All the what do you call it?
High maintenance no talents?
We got rid of them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's pretty cool for you to say and then go home.
No, no, that's right.
Goddamn, man.
I said some shit about boomers on anima
yeah and i got a call from my mother did you really yeah your mom listens to podcasts i didn't
realize it oh wow that's pretty exciting yeah wow and what did she say she just started like
talk down to you about it it was uh i i got i got a drubbing yeah but what are you gonna do
she's my mom mom it's your mom
hey great shirt you have
you're never too old
to be taught
hey I'm doing another thing
hey great shirt you have
hey thanks
this is a great shirt
I like it a lot
I'm a shirt haver
uh huh
I'm a shirt haver haver
the trademark
on the top
uh
side
can't be real
right
there's no way
we trademark
a shirt haver
there's any way I trademarked jerk ever.
There's any way.
I think that's how you do it, right?
Yeah, you just throw it on there.
Yeah, you just throw it on there.
If you just start putting TMs on stuff, who's stopping you?
You're fine.
You can get this in our store today.
You can also get this.
Go to the overhead camera.
Oh, you know, we should have brought bread.
What?
No, we didn't need to bring bread.
Wow, look, it's the bread clip.
Listen to this.
I don't think they can
probably hear that because it's, your microphone's over
here.
Can you hear this, Nick?
Okay.
I was hoping it would cover up that other thing.
It's, this is sturdy metal. We discussed
this. Flip it, flip it over so people can see it's a magnet.
We discussed this, well, I was gonna, that was gonna be the big
reveal.
So now we get some facts about the fuck face break but face red clip first off it's emblemized it's uh with my birthday it is 19th it's awesome not just my birthday it's also a
juneteenth it's also a garfield's birthday who i just thought is dead do you guys know garfield
died yeah years ago what are you talking about there was a final Garfield comic, and it's the saddest thing ever.
It's the one where he's in the haunted house.
It's like, oh, this spooky run-down house.
And he's like, oh, John, where are you?
I don't think he really died in that.
No, it's the one where he's laying in his bed, and it just says, zzz, and then zzz, and then no zzz.
And then the comic's over.
It's really depressing.
They killed Garfield?
Yeah, they killed Garfield in the 90s, I guess.
Which is, you know, he was born in the 70s, so that's like 20-something years long. It's a long. Kill Garfield? Yeah, they killed Garfield in the 90s, I guess. Which is, you know, he was born in the 70s.
That's like 20-something years long.
It's a long time for a cat.
It's a long time for a cat.
You know, like the world's oldest cat, I think, lives in Austin.
Austin, Texas.
Isn't that cool?
And the previous world's oldest cat lived in Austin.
I wonder what they're doing to cats here in Austin to make them...
Apparently, I read an article.
It's a very special diet the guy or lady has worked out.
A special diet for a cat?
Special cat diet.
I don't even have a special diet for me
and I'm a human man.
I would say the same, except there's
a very special diet.
It requires a lot of preparation.
Not just
Garfield's birthday, Superman's birthday, also
June 19th. A lot of people didn't know that.
June 19th, 1938.
Superman was born.
Action comics number one.
Great.
In addition, it is the color of a sort of a cornflower blue.
You know what that signifies?
The date.
The day.
The day of the week that the bread was shelled.
Uh-huh.
Blue is a Monday.
We're spending so much time on this fucking bread clip.
And we're not done yet.
Whoa!
There's a magnet on it.
There's a little magnet on it. See? You can, like. Yeah, it sticks done yet. Whoa! There's a magnet on it.
Yeah, it sticks to shit.
Isn't that fun?
Yeah, it sticks to that.
Whoa!
Look at how strong it is.
I'm getting too lost in the bit here.
You are. Give me this. This came off my fridge.
I could have kept going for like 45 minutes.
We also have
the temporary tattoos.
You can grab the... So please don't get real tattoos anymore.
There are so many people that have actual tattoos of this.
Yeah, the Don Pedro and the pencil are a lot.
Yeah, they're a lot.
The pencil is a good one, though.
The pencil is like that style that I really like.
Man.
I got it so you guys don't have to.
Right.
You guys just get the temporary tattoos.
There's also uniform.
Nobody has that, so...
I'm definitely not giving that away.
No.
So there you go. Oh, this Vancouver temporary tickets. There's also uniform. Nobody has that, so. I'm definitely not getting that one. No. So there you go.
Oh, this Vancouver Childkicker one's fucking cool.
Maybe even we could test something else.
Oh, yeah?
Vancouver Childkicker.
Interesting.
Interesting.
Some shirts.
Shirt Haver shirt.
Thrice to meet you.
That's a cool one.
That's a good one.
They said that it was too cost prohibitive to make an actual sellable Thrice to meet you.
So they said the best thing we could do is a line drawing on a shirt.
This is the Money Laundromat shirt that comes in blue,
but also comes in white.
Money Laundromat.
It's in the name.
Also, that was a commission by a community member
whose name is mentioned on the Instagram post.
Oh, that's fun.
So go check out these things in the store right now.
Get them or don't get them.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Yeah, whatever.
You like them.
Look, I'm telling you about them so you can go get them, but it doesn't mean you have to.
But we're not trying to sell up your ass right now.
No, I don't really care.
Let's get started.
Okay.
Let's do some of the shit that we're here to do.
Oh, you know what?
We don't have...
Sorry, Fred and Shack are on.
Oh, that was close.
Can't do it without Fred.
Dude, all right.
What?
All right, if you're going to...
What?
You might as well bring it out.
What?
These are on sale at RTX.
Not just at RTX.
They'll be on sale globally as well.
If we have any left, they'll be on sale right away.
Yeah.
I don't anticipate there being any of these left.
Just imagine a sea of
500 people with lightsabers.
In a convention?
This is one.
I want to
World Cup this thing.
Oh, you want this to be in Vuvuzela?
Nice. That's pretty exciting.
Alright, we should start
with the pack sack. Let's do it.
It's a sack pack, but that's fine.
If you're new to Fuck, Face, Break shit.
Oh.
I might have been a little late on that one, dude.
The pack sack runs the show.
Every time we start an episode, we open up a pack from the pack sack.
Whoa.
What are these?
Every time we open up a box, we throw one in.
You got to feed it as you eat from it.
This is 1991, 1992 Skybox basketball.
Okay.
So put that right there.
We are going to pop this open.
These are 84 cents, huh?
Well, probably at the time they were purchased at Walmart.
Oh.
I would assume 1991 or 92.
I think Jordan's your chase card here.
That's about it.
Yeah, you think we're getting one?
Come on. I don't have your chase card here. That's about it. Yeah, you think we're getting one? Come on.
I don't have that kind of look.
Clyde Drexler looks good.
All right.
He's got a Christmas sweater.
Okay, let's see what we got here.
We got Isaiah Thomas.
Oh.
Bad boy for life.
Yeah, no kidding.
Kevin Willis.
Okay.
Johnny Dawkins.
Oh, here we go.
The Chicago Bulls starting team.
There we go. Michael Jordan right there. Oh, let's see. The Chicago Bulls starting team. There we go.
Michael Jordan right there.
Oh, let's see.
We got him.
There you go.
Not the same.
Greg Drelling.
Ooh, Ralph Sampson with the very, very dated background.
The background looks like the fuck stick.
It looks like if you turn that card, it goes.
It looks like it's like a high-speed shot.
Yeah.
Joe whatever. Oh, therespeed shot. Joe, whatever.
Oh, there you go.
Patrick Ewing.
All right.
I believe he coached in Georgetown these days, right?
Yeah.
Remember when the Knicks were supposed to be the team in the 90s,
and then, boy, they weren't?
There was a funny story about...
You're right.
They weren't.
It was a funny...
And then they haven't been since, really.
There was a funny story about Patrick Ewing recently.
He went to Madison Square Garden.
This was in the last season.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the security didn't recognize him, and they wouldn't let him out.
Yep.
And he was like, he fucking lost it.
He was like, do you know who the fuck I am?
I built this fucking building.
Yeah, hell yeah.
And they had to issue a public apology.
Yeah.
Otis Smith.
Did security ask him?
And they had to go like, we do know who you are.
Did security say, show me a ring?
And then they just.
He was like, my name is.
This is my ring right there.
It's in the fucking rafters.
Buck Johnson.
There's my ID.
Eddie Johnson. Can't read the fucking rafters. Buck Johnson. There's my ID. Eddie Johnson.
Can't read that.
Don't care.
Sam Bowie and Terry Porter.
So there you go.
Pretty dog shit pack.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Rough pack.
No worries.
Thanks.
Got Isaiah.
That's nice.
Open up another pack.
One more?
Maybe we'll find a Zim.
Maybe.
I'm looking for a Zim Padres.
That's, we were talking about that before the show.
Yeah, we would, it would be nice to find a Zim Padres. I want a, I want a little Padres Zim. Oh fuck. I'm looking for a Zim Padres. We were talking about that before the show. Yeah, it would be nice to find a Zim Padres.
I want a little Padres Zim.
Well, fuck.
I'm trying to...
Are you trying to game the...
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I can't game it.
I was trying to, but I can't.
See?
I'm just going to get in there deep.
Okay.
Okay.
I don't like that.
X-Files Season 2.
X-Files Season 2.
Okay, here we go.
All right, guys.
These are cards.
What's your chaser here?
Mulder or Scully?
Smoking Man?
CSM.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
CSM, Smoking Man.
Everybody go ahead and reset yourselves to like 1991.
Okay.
I assume.
Refamiliarize yourself with Season 2 of X-Files.
Okay.
So it'll all just pop right off.
We got it.
Oh, why are they stuck?
Oh, they're sticky. All right. Here we got, looks like probably chris carter i assume i don't know
i've ever seen him not going to turn it is that who okay i thought that was a guy at a piano i
thought maybe that was the theme song guy i think it's chris carter at a podium being like hey i made
the x-files you should like bend the cards a couple of times or something uh yeah let's see
something uh yeah let's see oh it's like asmr oh it's like that yeah oh yeah it's like the worst kind of asmr god you mean asmr yeah uh there's three aliens that's gotta be the chaser that's
gotta be the chaser we found them they exist they do exist no that's m&ms and santa claus uh he is
one oh that's fun you you like a stuntable'. He is one. Oh, that's fun.
It's like a Stuntable Pilots album cover.
You really like that bat right in front of you, huh?
Yeah, it sucks.
You just keep bumping it, bouncing around.
Throw it over there.
Oh, shit.
They pred...
God damn it.
Look, they predicted it way back in...
Whatever.
After the first series came out, they predicted it. Yeah. They predicted that it would be remade. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's pretty exciting. Yeah, yeah, whatever. After the first series came out, they predicted it.
Yeah.
They predicted that it would be remade.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
It's pretty exciting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then the lone gunman.
Yeah.
The lone gunman.
God, those guys were awesome.
They were funny.
The older that I got, the more I really liked those characters.
Yeah, they were good dudes.
Yeah.
They were just like weird internet guys, like before the internet was like.
Yeah, you know, they'd all be, they'd all be QAnon now.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they're all about, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the 90s'd all be QAnon now. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're all about...
That was the 90s safe version
of QAnon back then.
Everything's a conspiracy.
What are you thinking?
Let's do some Bowman
this year baseball.
How about that?
Sounds good.
You were telling me
that you haven't been following
baseball closely this season.
No, I'm going to jump in
now that basketball's over.
I'm going to disappoint
what basketball is.
Okay.
Here we go.
Well, shit.
Right out the gate.
Wander Franco rookie.
Hey!
Really?
That's probably going to be...
You probably hang on to that one.
Yeah, that is the chase card of the year.
Yes.
This is India.
Big time.
Wander Franco, good baseball player.
Wander Franco, good at baseball.
Jonathan India.
All right.
Bryce Harper.
That's...
Fernando Tatis Jr.
That's good.
He's been hurt all season.
All right.
George Springer.
Okay. Carlos Correa. He's been hurt all season. All right. George Springer. Okay.
Carlos Correa.
Okay.
Whit Merrifield.
Matt Bierling.
We got ourselves Gavin Sheets, rookie of the year.
Futures.
Set that aside.
That's a chrome.
Edgar Correa, I think.
I can't see it.
Eduardo Lopez.
Marcelo Mayer.
K.H. Watson.
That's a pretty card.
What?
Here's Warming Bernabele.
That's a baseball name.
Boy, that's a...
His name is Warming?
Warming.
That's awesome.
Warming.
As in like... Yeah. No, you don't have to explain what Warming... Noming. That's awesome. As in like, yeah.
No, you don't have to explain what Warming.
No, I got it, man.
I know what Warming means.
Tyler Soderstrom, Alvin Guzman.
I'll pull that.
Yeah, yeah.
Jordan Walker, and then...
What are we looking at?
Simon Muziotti.
Okay.
I don't know who that is.
You got a couple of good ones in there.
Fucking Wander Franco in there.
Yeah, that's, that's not bad.
I'm going to move that to the middle.
Just to keep it safe?
Yeah.
Good.
Smart.
That's why I sleeve it up.
Yeah, decent.
All right.
Next, I think, Eric, we should get a little whimsical.
Let's open some Free Willy 2.
Free Willy 2, the adventure home.
Yeah.
I saw these, somebody mentioned them on Reddit or on social media
that they saw them in a store and I got
curious about them.
I don't think I've seen Free Willy
2 because I'm in my
mid-thirties.
I missed it.
There was a huge fire.
Huge fire.
That's the scene where the water's on fire.
Orcas in the
wild yeah that's those are probably the scariest animal yeah I would think
there's a color that in that looks like every cartoon that was on Fox in the
90s that's really incredible no escape
trap that's where they die oh there's a good one draw he's about to
shoot that fucking whale he's got a gun and everything i like that one those whales like
are destructive like they're like monstrous they just like yeah just like just run through shit
yeah like a whale in a china shop as they say. Tip over boats. They just do whatever. They're whales.
They can do anything. They don't give a fuck.
No. Why would they give a fuck? They're whales.
They're way bigger than everything else. Kings of the sea
they call them. That's right. You said
I and then you said they.
This thing's heating up.
It's a...
Get to that later. Okay.
Let's open up some mail, Eric. Okay.
From time to time people send us mail. I think this is from
Sean G. Yeah, let me not show his... Okay. Thanks's open up some mail, Eric. Okay. From time to time, people send us mail. I think this is from Sean
G. Yeah, let me not show us. Okay. Thanks, man.
Sean G sent us a whole
box of crap. Let's see what crap is.
It's so many packs.
We're going to have to feed the pack sack, but there's
also just a lot in there.
You believe that? Sean.
Sean just went for it. I feel terrible.
We didn't give you anything. Yeah, here's the thing.
You guys are welcome to send cards.
It's totally fine.
You can.
Do not feel like you have to or you're like, oh, I have all these things.
I should send it in.
You can open your own cards.
That's what cards are for.
So that's fine.
Keep the cards.
But if you want to send them, fuck face break shit.
Hang on.
What the?
Face break shit.
Care of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street
Austin, Texas
78723
it's the way we sort them
and organize them
and then get them to you
on the air
there's a lot here
it's tuned to my biometrics
that was
I pressed it
and nothing happened
let's
first off
let's feed the
backpack
we'll put the prism
rassling in
are you familiar with
WWE I am familiar alright do you know who Roman Reigns is I do Okay. We'll put the Prism. Rasslin in. Are you familiar with WWE?
I am familiar.
All right.
Do you know who Roman Reigns is?
I do.
And Becky Lynch?
I do.
Are they your favorites?
No, they're like the top people.
They're the top people?
Yeah, those are like the top two.
Those are the people who draw money.
Who's the chase card in Rasslin?
We're going to say it's Matt Riddle.
Matt Riddle.
Yep.
Hell yeah. He's a UFC guy
and he has a big mushroom tattooed on his side. He's weird.
Trent Seven.
Oh, wow.
Alright. What's it do with him?
He's a UK guy.
That's the least Eric's ever had to say about a wrestler.
Braun Breaker. This guy, I don't know
if you remember early 90s wrestling, the Steiner
Brothers. This is Rick Steiner's
son. Oh, Rick Steiner's son.
Oh, Rick Steiner.
Yeah, you would think that they would just.
He was wearing a chin strap.
Yep, yep, yep.
And that's his kid, and he's jacked as fuck, and he's insane.
He's huge.
Did he do Greco-Roman wrestling as well?
I think he played football, and I think that he probably played.
I think he was probably a wrestler in college.
Okay, now he plays fight ball.
Yeah, now. Uh-huh. Undertaker. he's probably a wrestler in college. Okay, now he plays Fightball. Yeah, now... Undertaker!
That's the fucking dumbest card.
I feel like we have to pull that. I feel like this is a
card that Andrew would have a lot
to say about. Yeah. Like, it's just
an outline. It's like hardly even a card.
It's just an outline.
Oh, man. Boy.
Oh, shit! Jinder Mahal! Hey!
Cool! Yeah, former WWE champion, Jinder Mahal! Hey! Cool!
Former WWE Champion Jinder Mahal.
How long was he champion for?
Probably about four months.
Really? Didn't defend it for very long?
No, and has not been at the top of the card since.
I wonder why.
Low card guy! That's okay.
That's what they say? Low card guy?
Yeah, exactly. Low on the card.
Okay, I'll trust you. Here we're going to open up a pack of
Panini 2122 Donruss.
I've opened up so much of this at home.
Panini cards good cards, or?
Pretty much everything's Panini.
But yeah, Panini are tops.
What do we got? Panini's good. This is like low end,
but it's one up from Hoops.
Hoops is like the doo-doo-est.
And then you get to Donruss.
Bog standard. Anthony Edwards,
second year card. Fantastic
player. Future of the NBA
right there. Buddy Heald.
People used to say that about him. Zion Williamson.
People used to say that about him.
P.J.
Washington Jr.
Jay Crowder. I have a feeling he might be going somewhere
this offseason.
Trey Young, now the official villain of the NBA.
Oh, yeah?
He's accepted and loves the role.
Gary Trent Jr.
He's a junior.
Oh, his dad, Gary Trent.
Yeah, his dad's Gary Trent.
Here we go.
LaMelo Ball complete.
That's probably a good one. Wow.
The whole LaMelo Ball in the one card?
Can I say something about LaMelo Ball?
Yeah.
Oh, please. He's funny
on TV. He is funny on TV. His TV commercials
are very good. I think that he
is great
as a personality. Yeah.
I'm Luli now.
I think he found his
niche. Game time is not a pull.
Yeah. This is
sad because Mike's not here. Nick's running the soundboard
and usually what happens is we start opening these cards.
And when there's a former UT player just from in the shadows,
you see Mike's hand go up because he holds up the horns.
We don't have Andrew.
So you and I are going to suffer through some hockey together.
Oh.
Oh.
Never mind.
We have Andrew. That Andrew contributes about Never mind. We have Andrew.
That Andrew contributes about as much.
That's interesting. What is cheating?
There's
so many cards! Oh, yeah.
They're all gonna be hard. Why would you open this
pack? We don't know anything about
this sport. Jamie Oleksiak,
he does. Nick Paul,
he's a... Go ahead.
Not related to the
other balls. Dimitri
Orlov. I've heard that name. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Linus Ulmark. Uh-huh.
Anthony Dulcolax.
Close enough. Boy.
Ryan Miller. There's so many cards, Jeff.
Casey Middlestat.
Sucks. Kyle
Oxypoxy.
Sam Gagner.
Oh, shit!
Sam Gagner!
We've done him before.
We like them.
We had Gagner, Gagner, and Gagney.
They were a law firm.
Remember?
No.
I fucking remember.
Is that the rules to hockey?
Yeah.
That's all.
A bunch of names we also don't know.
Great.
Cole Lind.
He's a rookie, I guess, in French, so
we'll save that for... who knows.
There's whatever the fuck that is.
Oh shit! It's Jake Bean!
Everybody loves... great hockey name.
Jake Bean.
Oh shit! It's Jake
Bean. Calvin DeHaan.
Adam Larson.
Jacob spelled stupid.
Zborl.
J-A-K-U-B.
I don't think maybe he's from here, man.
Where he's from, they spelled Jacob stupid.
Kirby Datch.
Mark Stone.
Johnny Guh.
Gar-guh. Oh, Guh-drow. Nailed it. Mark Stone. Johnny Gu.
Oh, Goudreau.
Nailed it.
Dominic Kubalik.
The Barclays Center.
JT Miller.
Wasn't that guy on, wasn't he a comedian?
Yeah, he was in Transformers.
Not anymore.
Yeah, not anymore.
Philip Forsberg.
Ian Mitchell. Big guy. Not anymore. Philip Forsberg. Ian Mitchell.
P.K.
Subban. That would be funny if you watched Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. That's how Dorit says her
name. I'm not going to cheat.
Patrick Moran.
He's a real Moran, that guy.
What a maroon!
That card saying maroon?
Just making sure.
Cool, man.
Christopher Tanev.
And fucking finally.
And Bernie's cousin, Brent Burns.
We're going to save that.
Founder of the company.
Cousin Brent Burns.
Let's continue with shit we don't know about
and talk about soccer. Why?
Yeah, we got some tops.
We're like the only two sports guys.
Like, this is Gavin's wheelhouse.
The other one was Andrew's.
Okay, I can do a little,
I can do some soccer talk.
Hold on.
Unless any of these guys are Austin FC,
I got nothing for you, bud.
Stars aligned in Paris.
All right, so no.
Here's Lucas Ocampos.
Here's Sergio Basquiat.
Here's Koke. What. Here's Sergio Basquiat.
Here's... Koke.
What's his name?
Koke.
We'll save him.
Here's Yusuf Demir.
He used to be Cat Stevens.
Change his name to Yusuf.
No, no, no, no.
He did.
I know.
He did it in the...
No, I know.
That's just not him.
That's a parallel.
Nope.
Okay.
Great.
I know, that's just not him.
That's a parallel.
Nope.
Okay, great.
I read a really interesting article about how he ended up doing the soundtrack to Harold the Mug.
And now look at him playing soccer.
Oh, here you go.
Here's what I can do.
Dortmund's duo.
That is Borussia Dortmund or BVB from the German Bundesliga, German's professional soccer
team.
I know that because I shared an office with a guy
who was a professional soccer player for that team at 17,
an American who got bought by a team,
dropped out of high school, went over to Germany,
became a professional soccer player, went up for a header.
They got hit by a player, had his back wrapped around the goalpost,
snapped his back in half, ended his career at 17.
Oh, my God.
I told you I could talk soccer.
You can mark that for a social clip.
That'd be a good one.
That's an insane story
I've never heard. Yeah.
What the fuck? Gus knows him.
He was like in our friend group. He was one of our best friends.
He worked at the call center?
Yeah. Are you serious? He managed it with me. He's the one that our best friends. He worked at the call center? Yeah.
Are you serious?
He managed it with me.
He's the one that told me I could never work there again if I couldn't.
He's like, if you leave this, you're leaving it for good.
I'll never hire you back.
And I was like, okay, I'll take that risk.
Yeah, you get this guy on and off. I love, he's also very, very, very funny.
Okay.
Very naturally funny.
Man.
Brian, good one.
All right.
Ooh, I like these cards.
These are cool looking.
Nemo. Yeah, these are like old timey looking
Tijuan Walker
Taiwan Walker
Lance Lyons
Tomato Tomato
Gary Sanchez
Oh here we go
Swanson's Blast
Ties it in the seven
His name is Dansby Swanson
Dansby Swanson
That is a baseball
name. Jazz Chisholm.
That's a frozen dinner name. It is.
Jazz Chisholm and Dansby Swanson
I think are two of my favorite baseball names right now. I like Jazz Chisholm
a lot. He's my current favorite name.
Tony
Santalan. Got it.
Isaiah
is either
catching or sliding they call him
IKF
Jordan Luplo
or Luplo
I hate
that guy
you don't like that guy
he's a diamondback
and you just see him all year
and you just go
this fucking guy again
this dude
to me that was
Paul Goldschmidt
before he left
for diamondbacks
controversial
you just see
Paul Goldschmidt
all the fucking time
how much time
we got left
let's say two hours whoa about we still have You just see Paul Goldschmidt all the fucking time. How much time we got left?
Let's say two hours.
Whoa.
We still have, I mean, we can go until three.
So we got an hour and a half still.
So we got tons of time.
Oh, we got, baby, we got tons of time.
How about this?
How long have we been going for?
Half hour?
Half hour?
Okay.
Why, what are you doing?
I was just wondering where I want to pull all this stuff out. You're going to do this?
You're going to make it happen?
I just want to show it off.
Let's do it.
Do we have a piece of paper or something?
Oh!
Leslie, our intrepid associate producer, helped us out with this.
That works even better.
She gave us very large yellow paper and normal-sized white paper.
Gavin had, on the main show, a fantastic idea recently.
Okay.
His idea was that we should get actual Vancouver Childkicker boots made. Mm-hmm. Kevin had on the main show a fantastic idea recently. Okay.
His idea was that we should get actual Vancouver child kicker boots made.
That then we could step and paint and then kick stuff.
Right.
So we set about doing that.
You said, and this is my favorite thing about you, you said, I'll look into it.
Yep.
And then I knew you were.
Turns out we couldn't feasibly get that done.
Getting a boot made.
Yeah. Yeah.
Tough.
But we were able to get a facsimile of a boot made.
Mm-hmm.
Here, I'll move it up to the thing.
Look at this.
This is the official Vancouver Child Kicker boot stamp?
Boot stamp?
Yeah, see, on this side, we got a full size ten and a half. This is a full boot stamp made
This show is insane because we get stuff like this made so now we can either just use it like this
Uh-huh, or we can build a contraption. Yeah, put our feet in and get one flip. That's true
We can kick stuff. We all really wanted Andrew to kick stuff. Yeah, but
Are we gonna give this thing a shot?
This is going to be the first stamp we make
with this. Yeah, the very first. This is pretty exciting.
I've never seen it in person until about an hour
ago. What are those?
Oh, shit.
It just got complicated. What is this?
Stamp ink.
Do we need to ink up the pad
first? Let's find out.
I have a feeling. Yes, we do.
Oh, why?
Why don't they put stuff together?
Don't worry.
We have interns here to help us ink pads.
They're just going to be really careful.
Oh, there's no ink on that.
I've never seen an inkless pad before.
Me neither.
That's pretty interesting.
This is just good for science.
Look at that.
Yeah.
That's how they come before they're inked.
This pad is shipped dry to prevent accidental leaking.
The ink pad is perfect for extra large stamps.
Yeah, no, I get it.
The pad requires about three ounces of ink for initial setup.
How much ounces is a 60 milliliters?
I don't know if this fucking thing fits.
What?
Yeah. Come on.
Surely it will.
It may take up for three
hours for the ink to completely soak in.
Alright, well we'll, you've seen it.
We'll try it in like 45 minutes.
Are we gonna, alright.
Let's just ink her up. Set it off to the side.
Here you go.
We'll come back to that.
Boy, I should've read that up earlier, huh?
I believe in you guys.
Hang on.
Good.
Then only use one.
Yeah.
It shows you how to do it on the back.
This show sucks.
I can say that about my whole career.
Let's open two more packs of wrestlers.
We like them.
Oh, cool.
Let's do it.
Hopefully you have some more interesting facts, like he's British.
Yeah, I mean, I like him.
Mustache Mountain's a cool team.
It's just, you know, he hasn't done anything.
Mustache Mountain?
Yeah, he has a mustache, and he was a part of British Drunk Style with Pete Dunn and Tyler Bate,
and they were in a group called Mustache Mountain, and it was just a ripoff of Peaky Blinders, but it was fun.
Tyler Bate? Yeah, it was group called Mustache Mountain and it was just a rip off Peaky Blinders but it was fun. Tyler Bate? Yeah.
Pretty cool right? Yeah.
Mustafa Ali is a great professional
wrestler. Wrestled with a friend of mine
in Chicago for a while and then got
signed to WWE. Sat out for a while because
he wasn't happy with where things were going and now he's
back baby. In the
WWE? Yes sir.
Broderick Strong. broderick strong roderick strong he's doing his infamous move
the stronghold um he is the messiah of the backbreaker he's a former pwg champion uh former
nxt united states no north american champion former team champion. I've seen him wrestle live dozens of times.
What is the messiah of the backbreaker?
His gimmick on the indies in 2005 was that everything he did was into a backbreaker.
So it would be like a guy throws a clothesline, he catches it, and then throws him into a backbreaker.
And it's just like everything he does is into a backbreaker, and it looks very cool,'s strong as fuck so he's a little guy he's probably about my size they're all like
that's wrestlers now is just nerds who grew up watching wrestling who are my size and you go
but jack this fuck well yeah exactly because they work out explain is that. Oh, that guy's a guy from NXT UK.
Just there was a time when WWE was buying up all of the UK talent
because they're like, we're going to expand into the UK.
And then that really backfired, and now they have a guy named Primate.
It's like a Bane type thing?
I mean, I think that's what they're going for.
You can tell it's pro wrestling because he's wearing camo pants and a cool
little mask. I'm going to say
he looks British to me. Yes.
Yeah. I don't know what it is about him.
He looks like he's about to go, oh!
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then Sasha Banks. Sasha Banks
recently quit WWE
for a second time.
The rumor is that she's released now. We don't know. second time. The rumor is
that she's released now. We don't know.
Nobody knows. The best part of pro wrestling
is probably the gossip.
What's the hot goss these days?
Her! She walked out in the middle
of Monday Night Raw. Why?
Because she wasn't happy with the direction of the stuff
so her and another woman, Naomi,
both left and have not been on TV
haven't been seen. They've been posting on social media, like, nobody knows if they're still contracted or not.
Fucking cool.
Wow.
She's also Snoop Dogg's cousin.
Oh.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Valentina Faroz?
Faraz?
I have no idea who this is.
Who the fuck is this?
Oh, she's in NXT now.
That's why.
I don't want you to worry.
Sorry.
Sam Stoker.
Oh, this guy's half a tag team called Pretty Deadly.
And their gimmick is they're very attractive.
I think it's great.
I think it's a great gimmick.
Are they very attractive?
I mean, look at him.
He's a handsome boy.
Oh, he's also very British. You know what I mean? He's handsome for gimmick. Are they very attractive? Yeah, I mean, look at him. He's a handsome boy. Oh, he's also very British.
You know what I mean?
Like, he's handsome for a British guy, so he's like an Austin Six.
James Drake.
He's also a British guy.
I feel like this guy is half a year.
I don't remember.
I feel like he'd be an Austin Seven.
Yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
And then, oh, you know this dude.
It's the brawny man.
Right?
Brock Lesnar's back.
He's going to wrestle Roman Reigns at SummerSlam.
Roman Reigns is the number one guy.
Yeah, he is.
He's the champion, and Brock Lesnar's going to fight him.
Do you think he'll win?
I don't know.
Probably not.
I think Roman Reigns is going to hold the title for a very long time.
He's already had it for a very long time, but he's going to hold it for even longer.
Why do you think that is?
They're trying to make it.
I think they want him to wrestle The Rock at WrestleMania.
Oh, okay.
I think that because that's his cousin.
The Rock's cousin is Roman Reigns.
No shit.
So I think that they want him to wrestle The Rock.
And The Rock is, what, like 50?
And the last time he wrestled, he, like, tore everything out of his body.
It was pretty bad.
Did he really?
Yeah, he, like, tore, like, a rib, like, totally off.
Like, it was bad.
When you do human growth hormone,
your muscles don't grow right.
They just grow, and then they tear really easily.
Are you telling me the Rock does steroids?
He's not 100% natural.
Hey,
fuckbassers! Glad you
guys enjoyed the cards last stream.
Found a few more cards I thought you'd enjoy.
And here you'll find a classic white sock,
some of Eric's
political and sports heroes, a familiar face
in an unfamiliar uniform, and a
pitcher who may have had the shittiest day
at the ballpark ever. Love the show.
Thanks for the years of content.
Thanks, Joel.
It's a, oh, thank you, Joel.
Joel or Bear.
He, um.
What he goes by.
I don't know why he said, my political,
what is that?
We're gonna find out.
I don't know.
This is scary.
All right, here we go.
Oh, this one's got a story.
Ooh.
Okay.
He's, Joel is the guy who sent us the card
of the guy who got caught jerking off in his car
Oh yeah yeah yeah
Oh my god
Okay hold on let me pull the card out first
Joel's got a whole story first
Story time with Joel is really great
He's got a whole thing
Oh fuck
What's this
This is Archie Bradley
Okay
On May 5th 2018 Allegedly by Joel I have no idea what I'm about to read.
Archie Bradley ran desperately to the bathroom seeking to free himself from the torment of an overfull bladder.
Reaching the urinal just in time, he may have freed himself a bit too much as to his dismay, he realized he just shit himself.
As unfortunate as this is is the timing was worse
he was three minutes from pitching in the top of the sixth and this is the houston asterisk
in his words so it's a two two count and i'm like man i have to pee i have to go pee so i run into
our bathroom real quick i'm ready to go and i'm trying to pee and i'm actually shitting my pants
like right before i'm about to go in the game i poop my pants i'm like oh my gosh
oh my gosh i know i'm a pitch away from going in the game, I poop my pants. I'm like, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.
I know I'm a pitch away from going in the game, so I'm scrambling to clean myself up.
I get it cleaned up as best as I can, butt my pants up, and our bullpen coach Mike Fedders says,
hey, you're in the game.
So I'm jogging into the game to pitch with poop literally in my pants.
No!
But hey, he went out, got out of the inning without a run, so fuck the asterisk.
Dude, Joel's like my new favorite.
Joel, that's a great one.
That is a great one.
Probably mark that for a social clip.
Archie Bradley shit his pants.
I fucking hate the Diamondbacks.
Oh, man.
Yeah, these are like... I ran into Joel on Twitter. Dude, you're fucking... You're not going to believe this. Oh, man. Yeah, these are like...
I ran into Joel on Twitter.
Dude, you're fucking...
You're not going to believe this.
Oh, no.
Ran into Joel on Twitter, and he's just like,
I want to send some stuff.
And went, okay, cool.
And he's a good dude.
We got a garbage pail.
What?
Oh, boy.
Rappin' Ron.
I think that's your political...
I think this is right.
So you remember when he got shot, right?
Yeah.
It was like that?
It was about that, yeah.
Henry Kissinger.
What the fuck?
We're just...
These are just like war criminal cards?
HKI.
What the fuck?
Oh, shit.
Here we go.
This is a White Sox.
I don't know if he was...
Yeah.
At that time.
Paul Canerco, Otto.
Oh, wow.
Really?
He was first baseman. Dude, Paul Canerco.. Paul Canerco, Otto. Oh, wow, really?
He was first baseman.
Dude, Paul Canerco, wow. This is shit, man.
Oh, here we go.
This is a little Dodgers for my girlfriend's dad.
There's a fucking...
Chris Taylor.
Chris Taylor.
That's a single patch card.
A little jersey.
That's cool.
Oh, here you go.
This is good for you.
This is a Tony Gwynn with an authentic game used back.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, that's really lovely.
Wow.
That's how he hit one of his 3,000 hits with that.
And then speak of the fucking devil, Eric.
Boom.
No way.
Padre Zim.
We got the Padre Zim.
Got the Padre Zim right there.
Awesome.
Thanks to Joel.
Joel.
We were just having a conversation about how we haven't seen a Padre Zim yet.
Oh wow! And there it is right there. If you're new to
fuck face or face break shit, you should know that we are obsessed with and love
all things. Wow we got another, wow dude that's a good Zim too. That's a great Zim.
It's in good shape too. Yeah. A little Padres manager Zim action
Yeah, I mean they'll give it a 10 and then go I mean it's not worth anything yeah
Shit the Zimmer price is not completely going back down. It's still elevated to where I can't believe that We had an effect on the market like that
I mean you were saying that you were signing a lot of Zim's when you were doing that
I probably signed yeah at least 10 or 15. Wow a long time. I mean, you were saying that you were signing a lot of Zims when you were doing that. I probably signed,
yeah, at least 10 or 15.
Wow.
I would say when I was in Atlanta.
That's insane.
I'm going to pull from the pack sack.
Oh, we have RTX coming up.
Bring us into RTX.
Hollywood.
This is the Hollywood
premiere set
walk of fame
trading cards.
These suck.
Official.
These cards suck.
These are going to be great.
This is going to be really good.
We had these before.
Yeah. It was like the be really good. We had these before. Yeah.
It was like the same 11 cards.
I know.
Edward G. Robinson.
Yeah, see?
Dinah Shore.
What the fuck?
Dinah Shore was just before my time.
As is Nanette Fabry.
Wow.
Oh, here we go.
Vera Miles.
We got...
Johnny Cash.
Johnny Cash.
That's...
Wow.
That's a terrible picture of that man.
It's not a great photo.
Oh, that's sad.
Catherine Grayson.
Mm-hmm.
Ooh, Clayton Moore.
I guess he was the Lone Ranger.
Lone Ranger.
Back in the day.
Yeah.
Ooh, here we go.
Charles Bronski.
All right. I'm going to pull that. I think here we go. Charles Bronski. All right.
I'm going to pull that out.
I think he's definitely on the set of a Death Wish movie.
Well, what else would he be on the set?
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
Sid Charisse.
Ooh, the gambler Kenny Rogers.
Nice.
Wearing a tall hat.
You seen him and his giant sons?
Yeah.
His giant sons.
Big sons.
He had big old sons.
Hey, Eric.
Yeah.
What's a Tim Conway? Hey, I like that. About 120 pounds. He has giant sons. Big sons. He has big old sons. Hey, Eric. Yeah. What's a Tim Conway?
Hey, I like that.
About 120 pounds.
That's pretty good.
And the Queen Diva herself, Angela.
Beautiful.
These were not terrible.
Those were not terrible.
Those were probably better than any other pack of those we've ever opened.
Oh, yeah, easily.
And they didn't stick together, which is nice.
Yeah, that's...
How much time do we have left?
You keep...
It's only been 10 minutes since the last time you asked me.
Where do you think that box of cards I had is?
What?
What are you talking about?
I had a box of 89 Fleer complete set that I was going to use.
Are they in your cars?
Well, are they though?
Yeah, I bet they are.
Oh, well.
That's what I was going to use to burn this thing with.
Oh, no. But here's what I can going to use to burn this thing with oh no
but here's what i can do yeah i'll just do one for the hell of it we'll do tim conway
all right so you want to explain what this thing is yeah so this is a gold embosser and so this is
crazy what you do is you buy like foil like gold foil like this we eat and then you you you turn
this guy on find the appropriate temperature, superheat it,
and then you put a brass plate of a design
under it. I went to Etsy and I found
a lovely lady who makes brass
plates of things and I had her make this
design. So you have to like line it up
a certain way? Yeah, it's actually quite
hard to do upside down. Oh, great.
I mean, you could turn it around. No, that's okay.
I won't do it.
You're right. Oh yeah, you're turn it around. No, that's okay. I don't think I want to see it. You're right. No, yeah, you're right.
Oh.
Yeah, we'll get it to about, is it 191 degrees?
That's about right.
That is absolutely right.
For this size.
Okay.
I find 155 degrees is the best for smaller sizes.
Okay.
I've done a lot of testing.
There's a lot happening right now.
Then you pour the, well, let's get further. I don't know what you need.
A cutting tool.
Okay.
Well, all right.
Well, okay.
You got it.
Yeah.
Okay.
So what are these then?
Those are the...
These are former Ian's?
Former Ian's, yeah.
Oh.
A little hard to see, but...
Probably a little easier to see this way.
Ian's.
Okay, is that right?
Those are nice Ian's.
Stick...
God damn it, it moved.
It's really fucking hard to do upside down.
Okay.
Nick, we'll get the shirt.
Three, three...
Oh, my...
Don't tell anyone, I want to make a look at the shirt okay so this is
it right then we stamp it down okay nice and easy that's awesome so what's the
why are we doing this so a while back when I did the when we did the wrist pockets, I made 50 of these, or some special ones,
that I included as giveaways.
I thought it would be fun at RTX to make 100 of these.
Wow!
Well, I'm not going to make them at RTX.
I'm going to make them at home.
But make 100 of these, and then I was going to put 50 just randomly inserted in some Fuckface merch from the store.
Oh, cool.
Just slide it in the bag.
So if you get one, you get a chance at getting one.
And then I was going to carry 50 around with me, so if anybody asks me about Fuckface or whatever, I can be like, here, have a Fuckface.
Oh, that's pretty cool.
Those would be gone in the first hour of the first day.
Yeah.
That's pretty exciting.
So I'm going to make 100 and then give them away.
You might want to consider making more if you're going to just carry them around and hand them out.
Well, as you've seen, it's a whole process.
This is really cool.
This show is innovative in a way
that you would never expect.
Yeah.
No, I agree.
I totally agree.
You know why we did it?
It's because I kept looking at cards
that are numbered and going like,
I could do that, right?
Yeah.
I could figure that out.
And so we did.
So now there's an Ian and all over a Tim Conway.
Yeah.
So now there's a Tim Conway Ian.
That's very cool.
It looks great.
Yeah.
The foil looks really good.
Yeah.
And yeah.
So there you go.
What an insane thing that we have.
Hit me up at RTX if you see me and ask me for one.
And I'm sure I'm going to get sick of that real fucking fast.
Yeah.
You really did yourself in on that one.
Here's a little bit of homework for myself.
You dummy. Well, here's what I'll do. So I bought this. Here's a little bit of homework for myself. You dummy.
Here's what I'll do.
So I bought this.
I got this box of 89 FLIR update.
Yeah.
And so I thought it had Billy Ripkins in it, but it doesn't.
So it's numbered 1 to 132.
I'll just do them all.
Oh, that's a good idea.
So then they'll be sequentially numbered.
And then you have the whole set.
That's very cool.
So that'll be fun.
I like that.
Yeah, thanks.
That's a good idea.
So there was that. RTX is going to be fun. I like that. Yeah, thanks. That's a good idea. So there was that.
RTX is going to be fun.
You know what we should do?
Yeah, what's that?
Let's open up some old...
I found this box.
I was cleaning out all the fuckface stuff.
Oh, cool.
And I forgot I bought a bunch of zimmable baseball cups.
That's awesome.
How many go in the pack sack?
One.
Fantastic.
God damn it.
Okay.
Okay.
What's up?
Two packs of 1990 tops.
1990 tops.
Obviously, we're looking for Don Zimmer to a lesser extent.
Probably Ken Griffey Jr. is not in there.
Don Mattingly, Wade Boggs, Roger Clemens.
I guess.
Martin McGuire.
I mean, Clemens had been in the league for what?
Five years?
Cal Ripken and Nolan Ryan.
They're perennial.
Dan Bilzerian.
Cool.
Bernie Williams.
Brett Bilevin.
Kurt Wilkerson.
It doesn't matter.
Why?
It doesn't matter.
Keep going.
Bob Welch.
Ooh.
A. Bartlett Giamatti.
What?
Hang on.
This looks like a card from now.
That looks like a photo in 2022 of just a man.
Yeah.
Who is that?
He was the commissioner of Major League Baseball.
Oh.
From 489 to 989.
Oh, then he died.
He was only commissioner for fucking five months,
then he died.
That sucks.
Got a nice card, though.
Joel Skinner.
Jesus Christ.
John Farrell, I worked with at the call center.
What?
Different guy.
Same name.
Lenny Dykstra.
Nails.
Hey, all right.
There's nails.
Yeah, this is...
You're not going to keep that one?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You got to keep nails.
If you don't know anything about Lenny Dykstra, there's a Google rabbit hole you can go down
for a long time.
Holy shit.
Legit maniac.
Maniac.
Probably in jail right now, I would imagine.
Oh, do you remember?
Or living in somebody's mansion.
When he was talking about, like, I've been arrested in like six months, and it's like,
great.
Ugh.
Just, ugh.
Monster.
J-Bell.
All right. Craig McMart Monster. J-Bell. All right.
Craig McMarty.
Todd Benzinger.
What's up?
Wait, wait.
Can we go back to...
Is he wearing glasses?
Yeah, dude.
Is he a substitute teacher?
You got to see with a ball.
You got to see the ball, man.
Imagine if there was a player that...
Yeah, a player that dressed like that now.
That'd suck.
Todd Benzinger.
Spike Jones. That'd suck. Todd Binziger. Spike Jones.
Tony Pena.
Rick Rudin.
Love his producing.
Jay Howell.
So nothing good.
No.
Cool.
Maybe this pack, though.
They're in remarkably good shape.
They are.
They're not really sealed very well, but there's gum.
Anyone want gum?
The 90s was a safer time.
Kurt Schilling.
Wow.
Yeah.
I don't remember him as an Oriole.
Me neither.
I saw him in a commercial recently, I think.
Lee Mazzilli.
Was it for MyPillow?
He did go that way, didn't he?
I forgot about that.
I was just wondering where you saw him in a commercial.
Jose Guzman.
Nick Laeva.
Randy Velarde.
Oh, it's Nixon.
I always liked that it's Nixon.
Mm-hmm.
Rich Gedman.
One of those Expos jerseys, too.
Expos jerseys were so nice.
Tom Glavin.
Ken Caminiti.
Hey, hey.
Rob Deere. Fucking mullet. Yep. Savingavin. Ken Caminiti. Hey, Ken on the Astros. Rob Beer.
Fucking mullet. Yep.
Beautiful. Ooh, Bobby Bonilla.
Aren't the Mets still
paying him? Oh, that's him,
huh? Yeah. Yeah, he gets paid like once a year.
Like it's Bobby Bonilla Day.
Yeah. When is Bobby Bonilla Day? It's for like
25 years or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's been retired
fuck, probably since like 96.
Yep.
Terry Kennedy, Randy St. Clair,
Roger Craig,
there's a manager card,
Bob Darnier,
and Harold Reynolds.
Back of a fucking cool... We're coming up on Bobby Bonilla Day. July 1st
is Bobby Bonilla Day.
The Mets still owe the former All-Star
$1.19 million a year
until he's 72.
Imagine, get it?
You don't have to do shit
and you just got a million dollars
coming your way.
That's awesome.
Isn't that cool?
I want to be Bobby Bonilla.
Damn.
Bobby Bonilla Day rules.
Oh, you know what?
I have a little special present for you, Eric.
A special present for me? Not a present,
but a surprise. A fun thing for us to open.
I know I always hit you with
the wrestling, but I also have for you
a little Umbrella Academy.
No! Yeah!
Yeah, we still have some.
I don't know how much you missed it.
I thought
the Bollywood cart, there's so many
packs left. I put one in the pack card. There's so many packs left. So many.
I'll put one in the pack sack.
Why?
You said I gotta.
I hate these cards.
They are, these are the bane of doing this show.
Rebecca always begs me to open these.
So I decided today we're going to make her and you happy.
We're going to see the same ones we've already seen.
We can only hope.
For what?
For Run, boy, Run.
We've seen that one?
Yeah, we have.
Yep.
Is that the one?
Yeah.
How about, oh, yeah, we definitely saw Man on the Moon before.
Oh, shit.
But have we seen an on-card auto of Justin Nim?
Min?
Justin Nim?
It's upside down.
It's Nim upside down.
That's fucking cool.
Is it?
Yeah, he's Ben Hargraves.
That's one of the main characters.
Great.
Oh, Man on the Moon.
We say that a lot.
And The Day That Was.
Dude, I need to sleeve that auto pretty soon.
That's fucking cool.
Yeah, it's going to be worth a dollar pretty soon, man.
It's going to be nuts.
You know, new season.
Coming out soon.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
You're doing more?
Yeah.
Oh, hell yeah.
Oh, man.
All right.
Oh, no.
Open, fucker.
We only see each other at weddings and funerals.
The day that wasn't. Also. The day that wasn't.
Also, the day that wasn't.
These cards suck.
Ooh.
The day that was.
And extra ordinary.
These cards are...
Are we done with these yet?
Extremely ordinary.
I put it away already, so you don't have to look at it again for a while.
Thank God.
What do you want to tuck into?
Fuck with some football?
Let's do it.
Who's your football team?
I don't really have one.
Yeah, me neither.
I mean, I had Alabama for college, but when I was a kid, the closest thing was the Saints,
and the Saints were dog shit my entire childhood.
Yeah.
Not fun to root for at all in any way.
Teddy Bridgewater.
All right.
Ryan Tannehill. You't know you don't have the
the who
Rams no, I guess that's probably the closest team that I would root for Philip Lindsay
Just so they can stick it to the Chargers every year. That's fine Taylor. Oh
No, I don't think I ever will until they move back. Derek Carr. I felt like he used to play for the Houston in the early 2000s,
but I guess that was Drew Carr.
That was David.
Yeah, it's his brother, isn't it?
Is it his brother?
Yeah.
There you go.
That's why it feels like the same dude.
Cam Newton.
Is he still around?
Yes.
He's got to be a backup to a backup somewhere,
making a paycheck.
CeeDee Lamb.
Oh.
DeAndre Swift.
Alvin Kamara.
DeAndre Swift again, that's parallel.
You don't have to read them upside down.
Like, you can read them right side up.
You can just turn the whole...
Oh yeah, I could do that, huh?
Uh-huh.
Like, Ramondre Stevenson rookie.
Uh-huh.
See how it's easier this way? Nick Chubb. I could do that, huh? Uh-huh. Like, uh, Ramondre Stevenson rookie. Uh-huh. See how it's easier this way?
Nick Chubb.
Yeah.
I gotta do a complicated flip.
Uh-huh.
Kellen Mond.
You're doing great with it, though.
Ooh, Asante Samuel Jr.
He's wearing a hat?
That's fun.
Ramondre Stevenson.
Ernest Jones.
He's wearing a hat?
I didn't even see his hat.
It just, from over here, looks like he's wearing a hat.
He is wearing a hat. It's like a little beret or something. I don't know. It's cute. He's doing a football beret?'t even see his hat. It's just from over here, it looks like he's wearing a hat. He is wearing a hat.
It's like a little beret or something.
I don't know.
It's cute.
He's doing a football beret?
Yeah, a little football beret.
Tyson Campbell.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Awesome.
See, it's hard because of the flip.
Jalen Waddell, Alabama rookie.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, there we go.
And then Quincy Roche.
Roche.
Roche, Roche, Roche, Roche.
Not very exciting to do football cards
when it's not football season, huh? Yeah.
It's not exciting at all.
Alright, we'll put those.
And
we could now...
Uh-huh. We have more
mail. We have packs of stuff.
Let's do more mail. You have to open it with this, and you
have to be careful to not show an address. There you go.
See? See how you're doing?
You're doing great.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Okay.
Jesus Christ.
There will be blood.
Oh!
Awesome.
And now we just have to let it soak a little bit, and then I think we got this.
Oh, this is exciting.
Has it?
Okay, cool.
Oh!
This is way more.
It's soaked in.
Good job!
See?
What are you looking at? Something cool? I'm sure it's so thin. Good job. See? What you looking at?
Something cool?
I'm sure it's not gonna bite me.
Okay, let's see what we got here.
This is from, well I can't really see the name anymore.
I wanna say it's Liz.
That'd be a note.
He just tore it apart
who the fuck sent this
Liv
said dear Jeff, Gavin, Andrew, Eric, and Nick
I recently stumbled
by the way if you ever send us something and you don't want us to read the letter out loud
the first sentence should be
hey guys don't read this out loud before it says should be, hey guys, don't read this out loud.
Before it says, dear whoever,
at the top say, don't read this out loud.
I recently stumbled upon this and thought you should have it.
I love listening to
every week and just wanted to
That was a good one.
Thank you all for bringing a bit of laughter into my life.
Well, you're welcome.
Thank you for the nice note.
Got rid of that.
P.S. Also made some ugly little bracelets for you.
They are not ugly.
The beads change color and sunlight.
No shit.
Oh, cool.
That's cool.
Oh, red and pink is Eric, obviously.
Orange is Andrew.
Yellow is Jeff.
Yellow is Jeff.
Yellow should be Andrew, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because you're an obsession.
Yeah, because he's like a piss boy.
He's like a piss boy. Yeah. But I'll take yellow I like I like bananas there you go my banana's a lot I threw away three bananas today green is green is super fan jack you could
have made banana bread out of that blue is Gavin and purple is Nick you don't have to wear them
don't tell us not to wear them yeah let's see what this is
Chris is going to wear them.
Don't tell us not to wear them.
Yeah.
Let's see what this is.
Ooh, an authentic memories.
Oh, okay, cool.
What is it?
Now I know what it is.
What is it?
Liv Sinnes.
Liv Sinnes.
I'm going to take it out of the bag.
Oh.
Liv Sinnes and officially autographed Don Zimmer baseball.
No way!
Yeah.
Oh, that's awesome!
Look, authentic.
Live!
Don Zimmer signed an official American League baseball.
No way!
Dude, are you serious?
Oh, that's so cool!
That baseball was in his pudgy little hands.
Hold it up.
Our hero. Wow!
Hang on, there we go.
Put it right up next to your face.
Oh, that's a good one.
Oh, we got some good content, baby!
That's really a Don Zimmer signed baseball?
It's really, it's official.
Wow! I love it.
Holy shit! That's my favorite thing.
Uh, sorry Millie
Dude that is amazing. Oh my god. Thank you live
I'm I'm floored. I'm floored by this. That's a week. That's crazy. We have to take this outside to see what color
Oh, yeah, that's all your bracelets on
Because they're all the same color right now because they change
So we'll do it a little bit. Thank you. Oh my god. Oh, I'm I can't believe that blow away. Um
Just blown away. Ah
The kindness and the generosity we have a Don Zimmer baseball do we're officially in the Zim zone. We got doubles in today
and You can tell it's the
signature look at that you probably can't see oh wait i'm getting there there you go clearly
look at his little face clearly That's Don Zimmer coming to you to give you a kiss.
Park her up, buttercup.
Welcome to the Zim Zone.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
That's amazing.
Two Zimmers today. You got the Padre Zim.! Oh my god, that's amazing. Two Zimmers today.
We got the Padre Zim and...
What a phenomenal day. What a great day to be us.
What? I'm so glad I'm not Gavin or Andrew or Emma.
Oh!
Oh!
Ooh.
Now I was thinking we could, uh,
because I've been wanting to do this for a while, because I still want to get the, uh,
Hodor Hodor card.
Oh, that's right!
Otto?
Let's open up some Game of Thrones that I bought at this point. It's so long ago.
Is that the theme song?
Yeah, you nailed it.
Somebody was trying to sing the Pirates of the Caribbean theme song the other day and that made me go like, oh, it's the same thing.
We're going to open.
You save money if you just use the same song over and over.
Yeah.
We're going to open this mini.
I put one in the pack sack.
They're making a new show.
Game of Thrones?
Yeah.
Weren't they making like a prequel with Arya, and then now they're making like a Jon Snow
sequel?
Yeah, I heard they're doing a Jon Snow thing.
Talk about a series that has
just lost all steam. People
have not revisited Game of Thrones.
King Tommen.
Everybody's favorite. Who the fuck?
Who the fuck is that?
King Tommen.
Everybody loves King Tommen.
There's a dragon.
King
Tommen.
Do you remember uh
Mira Reid
was she the um
was she like
just one of Bran's steadfast
companions oh
oh Sir Brendan Tully
oh
oh there's brother Lancel
this show this fucking show Oh, there's Brother Lancel.
This show.
This fucking show, dude.
Are these... Sansa Stark.
If you bought these and they're like prank cards,
I would have no...
I would just assume, like, man, you got me.
Like, they threw in like a Sansa to be like, see, it's real.
Yeah, right?
But like, you just show... Like, what the in, like, a Sansa to be like, see, it's real. See, it's real. Yeah, right? But, like, you just shook, like, what the fuck is this?
We should make our own Game of Thrones cards.
We should.
This is a good idea.
Our own bootleg.
Somebody write that down.
This is insane looking.
We're going to make our own bootleg Game of Thrones cards.
What season was the last season?
Eight?
Seven.
We're going to do season 11.
Oh, wow.
Oh, that's cool.
There's, like, cards in it. Brother Ray. eight seven from season we're gonna do season 11 oh wow oh that's cool they have there's like cars
in it brother ray is uh wait is that yeah it's ian mcshane or whatever what he was in that show
yeah big time uh everybody be be aware of the winds of winter they're They're breezy. It's chilly. There's Randall Tarly.
Here is...
Oh, Oathbreaker.
I guess it's because it's Jamie Lannister.
I don't see the sword. Is there a sword in the shot?
I don't see the sword.
Oh, here's the Night King.
Woo!
The last two cards are from the show.
The other ones, I'm not so sure.
That one's from the show.
Oh, here we go.
Okay.
Podrick Payne.
Remember him.
Oh, he was the blacksmith kid.
Daenerys Targaryen.
He was the illegitimate kid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, this is cool.
Like a Game of Thrones art card.
It's one eye.
Yeah, that must be it.
Is it?
Let's see.
It just says weak men
will never rule Dorne again.
That's probably...
That's the three girls.
That's the three girls.
Everybody hated them.
The Sand Vipers or whatever.
I don't fucking know.
Sand Snakes.
Sand Snakes.
Grand Meister Passell.
Take a shower.
Oh, here we go.
No one.
That's all it says.
Oh, no.
Here's. That's. that's all it says oh no here's that's uh
these cards can't be real
lady gin lock right there
oh yeah that's right
here we go wander franco
that's wilder fray
what a piece of shit he was
short stop for the race
winter is windy again
ooh look at this What a piece of shit he was. There he is, shortstop for the race. Winter is windy again.
Ooh, look at this.
Yeah, yep. Dario Naharis and Jorah Mormont sharing a moment.
A more moment.
Oh, here's Balin Greyjoy.
Looking like he's in a prog rock band.
Hell yeah.
All right.
That's the guy who started Asia, right?
Aye, aye, aye.
These might be my favorite cards we've ever opened because I genuinely don't know.
None of it.
You probably ran to the TV every week to watch King of Thrones.
I watched it until the guy got his hand cut off
and then I went, I don't think I want to watch this anymore.
And then watched some of it later
and went, what the fuck? It's a baby.
Great. Oh, here's
Gregor Clegane.
Okay, so I know about this guy. I know about
that guy. Uh-oh, broken man.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh, hot dog.
Jaquen Hagar He's the
The Laura Morgales guy
He's the face guy right
Home
That's what it says
That's where the dragon lives
Next to that campfire
Oh he's a lizard
He's keeping warm
Yeah
He's a
Yeah
Oh
Eat You got it Here it comes What the fuck is this No you got it Yeah. He's a, yeah. Oh.
Eat.
You got it.
Here it comes.
What the fuck is this?
No, you got it.
I just don't recognize the wig.
I zambaro.
Oh, no.
Like, that's not real.
That's a hat.
Yeah.
She's wearing a hat.
Yeah, okay.
It's a hair hat, man.
Hey, check it out.
Here's a fucking door.
Why would you print the card?
Why would you?
You have all the, that's sad.
I know, why would you? Tyrion Lannister.
I remember him.
Everybody loves him.
Yeah.
Uh, young Eddard Stark.
Uh.
Eddard?
Eddard.
His name is Eddard?
Eddard.
Yeah.
Eddard?
That's why he fights, you gotta, listen, you name a kid Eddard, he's gonna have to learn how to fight.
Uh, and then everybody's favorite, Ramsay Bolton. He was a good guy.
He's the dogs guy, yeah?
Yeah.
The flayed man family.
That was cool.
That part was cool.
Okay, well that was some of that.
What if we do a stamp?
Let's try it. Let's see what happens.
Let me get the Zim and the Coolio out of the way.
Alright, let's get the... We're going to try this.
We're going to see how it goes.
I think that in order for this to get the best shot...
Hang on.
We got to figure this out
because I want this to look good on camera.
So we might have to do a little bit of maneuvering.
Brian, do you think that's all right?
Do you want us to do it up here?
I'd do it on that.
Do it on this thing?
It's a soft surface.
There you go.
It's going to be harder.
That's good.
Just push harder.
You're strong.
You're a big, strong boy.
Right?
I am strong.
Yeah, I am strong.
Alright.
This looks good for right here.
You can see it's stamping down.
Look at that.
That looks good.
Alright, here we go.
Here we go.
We are stamping down in the pad. This is the
Vancouver Child Kicker official stamp.
Press hard. You better press in that
middle, too. You better press, boy.
There you go. There you go. See?
Wait, wait. How does it look?
Like, you gotta do it more.
It takes up to three hours.
Well, no. You have to get more ink on this thing.
I understand, but it doesn't fucking fit.
You try.
This doesn't fit, guys.
Hang on.
You thought I was fucking done.
I've only just begun.
You son of a bitch.
We got some. All right. Let's try it. All right of a bitch. We got some.
All right.
Let's try it.
All right, here we go.
Official stamp.
Okay.
We're pressing.
We're pressing.
Vancouver Child Kicker.
First official stamp.
Hey!
That looks great.
That looks just like a real boot.
That's really cool.
All right.
$50 eBay right now. Oh, my God. That worked real boot. That's really cool. All right. $50 eBay right now.
Oh, my God.
That worked.
Dude, that's so cool.
All right, Jeff's going to do 100 of these, and he's going to carry them all around Convention Center.
I think what we'll do is we'll have Andrew do them, right?
He is the Vancouver Child Kicker.
You're going to...
Yeah, absolutely.
So we're totally...
This...
That worked out so well.
This rules.
I want to make posters where we actually do the stamp.
And then... Wow. It worked out great. This rules. I want to make posters where we actually like actually do the stamp and then Wow
It worked out great
This show's crazy. All right, let's uh... We've been going for over an hour, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We got about...
Let's say about 20 minutes left.
25 minutes left.
All right, let's do this box of NBA illusions
because I've been waiting to open these.
So how long have you had these
and you've been waiting to open them?
Since last year.
What?
I think.
Maybe early this year.
Yeah, it's been months and months and months.
Most of this stuff I've had...
I bought this over a year ago, probably, that box.
Then why aren't we opening it?
I just forgot about them.
I have them all like...
They're in the center!
Well, now they are.
I had them all in the box, like in the
big Tupperware bins,
and then I organized it all
and found a whole bunch of shit.
Okay, so this is a box that you got and you've had for a little while.
How much is in the box?
It is ten packs per box,
six cards per pack.
This is NBA Illusions.
I believe it is
going to be last
year's rookies, probably.
Alright. How many
are going in the pack sack?
Nice. Two.
Then we'll open these. Got it.
Then maybe one or two other randoms.
Yeah, we got some stuff.
Maybe hit that box of Heritage Baseball
that I accidentally bought
and spent way too much money on
because I thought I was buying
Allen and Ginter.
Oh, come on.
Sweet Lou Williams.
Nice.
Bobby Portis, I do not like.
Here's a black parallel of DeAndre Ayton.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah, he's probably not going to be
a Phoenix Sun next year.
Ooh. Pascal Siakam. Hey,
alright. He used to be
a Celtic killer. He used to drive me crazy.
Trey Jones, we figured him out though.
And then Jaden McDaniels, rookie.
These cards are cool.
Yeah, they're nice cards. I like them.
I'm down with these cards.
I'm a big fan of these cards.
They're shiny.
John Collins.
Chris Tapp's Porzingis.
The Unicorn,
as they call him.
Probably because you see him
on the court about as much
as the Unicorn.
Patrick Williams,
Instant Impact rookie.
That's actually nice.
I got a LaMelo Ball
of this number to 25.
Wow, really?
Damn.
That's one of my better pulls.
Evan Fournier and his brief stint as a useless Celtic.
Oh, Christian Wood.
I think he's probably not going to be a Rocket next year either.
Jordan Mora.
I hope we pull an Al Horford.
Eh, rookies.
Yes.
This would be a Oklahoma City Thunder Al Horford.
Damn.
Jamal Murray.
I think he's still hurt.
He's going to hurt forever.
OG Ananobi.
You?
I like Al Horford because I'm the same age as Al Horford, and he's playing in the NBA.
He's doing very well still, too.
That's insane.
Tyler Hero, Black Parallel.
Ooh, I hate him, but that's a great-looking card.
Yeah, it's a great card.
Least favorite player in the NBA.
Most punchable face.
Yeah, 100%.
Joe Ingles.
Ooh, Desmond Bain.
Boy, he turned out to be a hell of a fucking basketball player.
Especially for a mid first rounder.
Isaiah Joe.
I really like these cards.
These are very cool.
Yeah, dude, take a look at them.
These are very cool cards.
Have fun with them.
Yeah, you know, enjoy them.
Do whatever you do.
They're for you too. I'm good. I think I got it.
Andre Drummond.
Devin Booker.
Serge Ibaka. Alright.
He was in an
Action Bronson song once. Hell yeah.
CJ McCollum.
Nikola Jokic.
MVP there.
And then Devin Vassell.
Who is pretty good, but
playing for San Antonio. Sorry, Nick.
Ouch. He left.
Oh, good.
As I was saying that, I was like,
can you believe he's a Spurs
like, I get it, but like, damn.
Jalen Brown. Yeah, I knew you were hanging
on to that one. Only bright spot of the fuck, well,
except he can't dribble.
DeMontis Sabonis.
But he shot well.
Anthony Davis.
Oh, I like that card.
I'm not, you know, don't know if I'm a big AD guy, but they're a great looking card.
Yeah, beautiful card.
So, oh, here you go.
Zion, year two card.
Nice.
Who knows?
Who knows, Zion?
It's kind of how that feels, huh?
Peyton Pritchard.
Fast P or B-Rabbit or PP. That's this guy, right? It's kind of how that feels, huh? Peyton Pritchard, Fast P, or B-Rabbit, or PP, as they call him.
That's this guy, right.
Yep.
Yeah.
And then Denny Adesia, who I believe is Israeli.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Three more packs of this.
Okay.
See what fun stuff we get.
Kelly Oubre, Jr. He is the current NBA's Mr. fun stuff we get. Kelly Oubre Jr.
He is the current NBA's Mr. Stelio Girl.
Nice.
As they say.
Jared Allen.
Very, very, very cool dude.
Cool dude.
Gamer.
Big gamer.
Yeah.
Career lineage.
We got, looks like, KD and KD.
Here he is through his whole career.
Your version of the likable KD from OKC.
Yeah.
Both of them are on Twitter defending himself right
two Twitter accounts
one's a burner account and one's him
Alexey Pokachevsky here, rookie
everybody loves him, he's 7 feet tall
Theo Maladon
alright
who's probably going to have a good career in the NBA
two more packs
oh boy how are you feeling about these? Caledon. All right. Who's probably going to have a good career in the NBA. Two more packs.
Oh, boy.
How are you feeling about these?
Feeling good.
We haven't gotten an auto yet, and I think we're supposed to.
Okay.
So, maybe, maybe not.
Darius Baisley.
Kimball Walker.
Did you just reluctantly hold on to that?
Uh-huh.
This is a big hit.
Anthony Edwards.
Okay.
Rookie, Black Parallel.
Nice.
That's fucking awesome.
Yeah, I have to hold on to all of Salt's cards, but Kimbo's.
Karis Levert.
Always really liked him.
Malachi Flynn.
Not even in the NBA anymore, I don't think.
And Udoka Azeboki.
Hey, look, it's Barbara.
Hi. more I don't think and udoka azuboki hey look it's Barbara we made a Vancouver
child kicker stamp and stamped it look what we got so we can make yeah oh shit
we're on the roosterteeth.com hey Instagram say hello YouTube on roosterteeth.com. Say hello, Instagram. Hey, Instagram, say hello, YouTube and Rooster Teeth.
Whoa, street inception.
I'm in the lights and I've noticed how greasy my face is.
I noticed it too.
I just didn't say anything.
It was pretty noticeable.
I appreciate you not saying anything.
Yeah, no problem.
Yeah, I got you.
Bye, guys.
Bye.
I like your stamp.
Thank you. Fred Van Vliet. Bye. I like your stamp. Thank you.
Fred Van Vliet.
Oh.
I like your Instagram.
Terry Rozier.
I like Fred Van Vliet.
He's a little dude.
Ooh.
Rookie Reflections.
Bam and Onyeka.
Keep that.
Drew Holiday.
He's so good.
Jalen Brunson.
Also pretty good.
And Tyrese Halliburton, rookie.
What a big one there was, Anthony.
I was watching when we did this at RTX last year,
and it was during World Cup stuff or whatever,
and Drew Holiday is the card that we were talking about
when I think England got a goal scored on them or something,
and it was just Gavin going,
No!
We didn't bring it home.
It's not coming home.
Russell Westbrook.
Nice.
What do you mean?
That's my guy right there.
Look at that.
This guy can't go up.
Oh, what the?
He's like.
How am I going to defend that?
Brandon Ingram.
Let him shoot, man.
P.J. Tucker.
P.J. Tucker, I think, is about to set.
He's leaving Miami.
He wants to test the...
Really?
Yeah, Desmond Bain.
I thought that was strange.
Peyton Pritchard, second-year card.
Jason Tatum.
Oh, wow.
You got Celtics.
They always appear next to each other in this.
For some reason.
Kendrick Nunn.
He is...
He's in, like, a Polo G song I listen to.
What?
A lot of NBA players
a lot of like
a lot of like
like C-level NBA players
showing up in
rap songs these days
I just meant what
like you're listening to that?
alright cool
do you listen to Polo G?
no I just wasn't
that's not like
the lane that I expected for you
just saying
Polo G's fucking awesome
TJ Washington Jr.
Jay Crowder again
Trey Young again
we've already said stuff about these guys Gary Chen Jr. Jay Crowder again. Trey Young again.
We've already said stuff about these guys.
Gary Chen Jr. again.
All the same cards.
Wendell Carter Jr.
Great.
The thing about him is he's a junior.
Norman Powell.
Cole Anthony.
He's the dude whose dad was an animal and mixtape dude.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh, that's sick.
He was one of those dunkers. Malcolm Brogdon.
Facundo Compasso. Everybody loves him. Gordon Hayward. Somehow still that's sick. He's one of those dunkers. Malcolm Brogdon. Facundo Compasso.
Everybody loves him.
Gordon Hayward, somehow still in the NBA.
Terrence Mann.
Tyler Hero again.
Boo.
Kevin Love.
Going gray gracefully.
Yeah.
Appreciate it.
Jordan Clarkson.
Doing it for us.
RJ Hampton.
Oh, Daniel Gafford.
Here we go. Dayronpton. Oh, Daniel Gafford. Here we go.
Dayron Sharp.
Pull that.
Jalen Suggs.
That's a good rookie.
Suggie, I imagine they might call him.
I don't know.
I'm not a Magic fan.
But if I were a fan, I'd call him Suggie.
They got Magic fans?
That's crazy.
Jason Preston.
I think there are tourists who go to Orlando and have a night together.
I'm a Disney fan.
Moses Moody.
Here's our Cole Anthony green and yellow parallel.
Oh, that's nice.
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
Thank you.
Oh, boy.
Oh.
Is that it?
Oh, no.
Oh.
Hi there.
Close enough.
All right, moving on.
Can't find it.
There's a Bill Russell insert.
And a doo-doo Kevin Porter Jr.
Insert.
We've had room shots.
We haven't been using them.
How about this?
How about some Ghostbusters 2?
Who are you going to call?
Have you seen that TikTok where the Transformers on fire or whatever up on the telephone pole?
And they go, who are we going to call?
And somebody goes, Ghostbusters.
And it fucking explodes.
The timing is perfect.
It's really great.
Merry Christmas, New York.
All right.
Oh, what is his name?
Janos?
What a trip.
Or Janos?
Mm-hmm.
That's right, Ghostbusters.
We're back, and we're better than ever,
with twice the know-how and twice the particle power
to deal with all your supernatural elimination needs.
Is that Dacroid?
Said Dan Akroyd.
Yeah, Decroyd. Yeah.
Here's some Slimer artwork.
Wow! An original onion head?
That's incredible. Ooh, here's a sticker of the boys.
Liking that.
That's a cool looking sticker.
Sorry, guys! Classic.
I ate all the hot dogs.
Classic Slimer. You're keeping the Slimers, huh?
Yeah, he's the star of Ghostbusters.
Eat this, Vigo.
It was Vigo Mortensen.
Yeah, Vigo Mortensen was in that, and then he was in Easter Promise.
Ghostbusters on trial.
Real different movies.
You know that dude was married to Eggzine Cervanka?
Really?
Yeah, for a long time.
They're divorced now, but yeah, for a really long time.
All right, what's one that you want to get into?
We got 10.
Let's say we got 10 minutes. Let's open up this box of heritage that I bought on X-Ray.
The expensive box that you don't want. Let's do it.
Yeah. It's not that I don't want it.
That it was the wrong thing?
Yeah, it's that I didn't want it.
Now that I have it, I'm like, I don't mind
having it. It's just that it's not what I wanted.
And I'm just fucking... I get...
Uh-huh. Mad?
Well, I get scatterbrained
when I'm trying to do a lot of things at once. No!
I got my head in a lot of places.
Who are you talking about?
I just bought the wrong fucking thing.
You?
There you go.
How about a Ronald Acuna Jr. big-ass card, as we call them?
You're going to sleeve that?
I think I have to sleeve it.
I hope I do.
We'll open it.
Okay, so what are we...
There you go.
So what are we anticipating getting in this?
Well, what we were looking for was the world's biggest airplane from the Allen & Ginter set.
Oh, that's right.
And you did not buy that.
No, but I bought these.
Yeah.
Do these have sharks in them or is it just baseball?
I think they're just baseball.
Those maybe were the craziest things you've ever opened.
I think we're shark ones.
It was like, here's Franz Ferdinand being shot.
Ozzy Albies.
And you're like, what the fuck is going on?
Arthur Ashe, tennis legend.
Okay.
We'll open up these guys to close it out.
All right.
All right.
Very exciting.
At least it's this year's baseball.
Hooray.
Oh.
Are they cool looking?
Yeah, that's the sound you like.
Oh, great.
Emmanuel Clace. Is that how you say that? Yep, they sound great. Emmanuel Clace.
Is that how you say that?
Yep.
Mike Trout.
Nice.
Quietly the best player in baseball.
TJ Freidel.
They say he might be the best player of all time, huh?
He's probably up there.
I think he loves playing Anaheim because nobody gives a fuck
and he doesn't have to deal with anyone.
Really?
Yeah.
I think it's great.
Mike Moustakas. There you go. There you go. I think it's great. Mike Moustakas.
There you go.
There you go.
Nailed it.
Yon Makata.
Jesse Chavez.
Oh, right.
He said I could do it the right way.
Jane Bieber.
And, hey, Mookie Betts.
Boop.
Speaking of everybody's favorite Dodgers.
I'm liking the Dodgers, man.
I'm enjoying being a Dodgers fan.
You said you weren't even watching baseball.
I'm starting to get back into it this year. I watched them last year. We were just going all the Dodgers, man. I'm enjoying being a Dodgers fan. You said you weren't even watching baseball. I'm starting to get back into it this year.
I watched them last year.
We were just going all the way.
Fuck that.
Bo Bichette.
He's a Blue Jay.
It's a...
Jordan Montgomery.
Aaron Judge.
Bo Bichette's one of those kids.
He's one of the baseball player kids that are on that team.
Like Vlad Jr.
Yeah.
Bo Bichette.
What is it?
Biggio's kid?
Or Bagwell's kid?
One of the two.
It's like crazy.
Lars Neutbar.
Yeah, Lars Neutbar.
Great baseball name.
Great baseball name.
Kyle Seeger.
Oh, here we go.
This is cool.
Here's what we got.
Numbered to 573.
Here's a Walker Bueller.
I guess like chrome.
It almost feels like an old metal card.
That's kind of cool.
Yeah.
And then, oh, did you know that Dylan Carlson is a new age performer?
He's into Reiki.
What?
He does crystal therapy.
Yeah.
Cool.
Oh, you know, he does, he says sound baths.
Oh, wow.
He's kind of like, he's a Gua Sha practitioner.
That's pretty great.
Willie Castro. And, oh, did you know that Hernandez Gua Sha practitioner. That's pretty great. Willie Castro.
Oh, did you know that Hernandez's hit decided it?
I don't know what it decided.
What the fuck?
I don't like solid socks on baseball players.
I think they should go back to stirrups.
I don't like solid socks.
I like stirrups.
I'm fine with stance socks because at least there's something.
I don't like the solid sock look.
I agree.
I think it sucks.
Right there with you.
Chris Taylor.
Ozzy Albies.
Hey.
John Lester.
Griffin Jacks, rookie.
Take that.
Martin Maldonado.
Will Smith.
Different Will Smith.
Another new age performer.
Really into John Tesh.
There you go.
Corbin Burns. Will Smith. I was struggling there for a second. There you go. Corbin Burns.
Will Smith.
I was struggling there for a second.
You got it.
Ooh, that's a fat pack.
Yeah, why?
It's because of a meme card in it, probably.
A what?
Meme card.
Oh.
Relic.
Guys, there's a meme card.
Oh.
What do we got?
We got DJ Peters.
Okay.
We got Jesus Lizardo.
Good baseball name.
Edmundo Sosa.
Is he related to Sammy Sosa?
I don't know.
Probably not.
Probably not.
Michael Pineda.
Brian Goodwin.
Brandon Finding Nemo.
Pablo Lopez.
Alec Mills.
And Lamont Wade.
We're going to open this little guy.
We're going to save the fat one for last.
You want that?
No, just looking at Alec Mills.
Bummer.
What's a bummer about him?
His glasses, his chin hair, his whole look.
Oh, yeah.
He's got...
Yeah.
He's kind of got that incel look.
Is this the one with Mims or whatever?
No, it's the next one.
I'm building up anticipation.
Nick Pavetta.
Miles Straw.
Oh, I yelled at Miles Straw at a Round Rock Express game
when he tried to steal second,
and it was a foul ball, and then we yelled, like, do it again.
You can't steal second.
Do it again.
And then he got thrown out, and he was pissed that we yelled at him.
He was mad.
He was not thrilled.
He was probably like 24, and we were just fucking screaming at this guy.
That's awesome.
I think about him all the time. Well, fuck him.
Jordan Alvarez.
Sandy Alcantara.
I wonder if he's related to Sandy Alomar.
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My first name. Yeah, same first name.
Ryan Yarborough.
Mm-hmm.
Seth Beer. Yeah.
Goes into the condiments. Mm-hmm.
I don't think you know what condiments are.
A beer can be a condiment.
This is fucked.
That was a sauce.
Please don't.
I'm glad no one...
Steven Duggar.
If the other guys were here,
we'd be in a fight.
Well, they're not
because they can't be bothered
to show up to work.
Chris Flexin
and Miguel Rojas.
All right.
All right.
This is it.
This is the last...
I hope we get a Lubob. This is the last fucking... I would like a Lubob as well. This is the last I hope we get a Lubob.
This is the last fucking...
I would like a Lubob as well.
This is the last fucking pack we're opening today.
And we got Mims.
We're done.
What do we got?
What are we looking at?
Lars Hendricks and Mark Mellon-Colin.
No, Mark Melanson.
Yes.
Don't worry about it.
Mellon-Colin.
They were a Swedish punk band.
Yes, they were.
Cal Rayleigh.
Mm-hmm.
Fran Milreyes. Hey, Franimal. Cal Rayleigh. Fran Mill Reyes.
Hey, Franimal!
Don't they call him the Franimal? Yeah, he was
a former Padre. He was great. Awesome.
Charismatic dude. A lot of fun. I like that name.
Like him. Mason Thompson.
He looks like a Mason.
He's a high-linked guy.
Hyunjin Ryu.
Oh, Randy Rosarena
did something.
Alfonso Rivas.
Why'd you save that one?
He's a rookie.
Austin Hayes.
Victor Robles.
Pete Alonso.
All right.
Wow.
Look at this.
What'd you get?
Look at this fucking Pavin Smith photo.
Oh, no.
Oh, yeah.
This guy looks like he's in the band Puddle of Mud.
Yeah, he does.
He looks pissed that he's doing this.
He does not want to take this photo.
I have to play fucking baseball?
He is.
Sorry, Pavan.
Angry.
Michael Perez.
Okay.
Eugenio Suarez.
I'm going to use Justin Verlander.
Okay.
Who is...
Can you believe he's still playing? That's absolutely insane. I'm going to use Justin Verlander. Okay. Who is... Can you believe he's still
playing? That's absolutely insane.
I'm going to use him to... Marry to Kate Upton.
Marry to Kate Upton. And just...
It's probably his greatest accomplishment. Still playing.
What are you... This is how they do it.
Clubhouse collection. Okay.
You go like, oh, it's a Yankee!
Oh, it's a Yankee! Oh, please be Jeter!
Oh, please be Jeter! Oh, Garrett Cole!
Garrett Cole! There you go. Bummer. Oh, but that's cool. Two, please be Jeter. Oh, Garrett Cole. It's Garrett Cole. There you go.
It's just a bomber.
Oh, but that's cool.
Two color packs, though.
I mean, he was good for a while.
Yeah.
He's trying.
Hey, that's all we can ask of any other guy.
Just try their best.
That was a hell of an unboxing.
Yeah, we covered a lot of ground today.
Yeah.
All right. So let's recap.
We got,
um,
some,
we got Garrett Cole.
We got some crazy cards in here.
We got Kissinger.
We got,
um,
Ron Reagan.
We got Ronald Reagan.
We got Archie who shit his pants.
We got shit his pants.
Archie Bradley.
We got,
uh,
oh,
here we got Cat Stevens.
Right,
right,
right,
right,
right.
Uh,
we got Jake Bean. Uh-huh. We got Jake Bean. Uh, right, right. We got Jake Bean.
We got Big Jake Bean.
We got LaMelo Ball.
Funny commercial LaMelo Ball.
There's no escape.
Wander Franco Rookie.
That's a good one.
We got a Padres.
We got a Padres Zim.
There it is.
We got Bracelets. We got the dude. We got a Padre Zim. Mm-hmm. So there it is. Mm-hmm. And, uh...
We got bracelets.
Oh, we got the dude. We got bracelets.
We got the dude, uh,
from... Oh,
the Umbrella Academy. We got the Vancouver Child Kicker
official stamp. We have the
Ian Stamp Machine.
Um, we have a Shirt Haver
shirt. We have... Temporary tattoos. We have temporary tattoos. We have a shirt-haver shirt. We have...
Temporary tattoos.
We have temporary tattoos.
We have...
We have unusable bread type...
Well, they're great magnets.
They are great magnets.
We have the fuck stick at RTX.
We have all this stuff to open in the future.
And...
And we got...
The sign Zimball.
Probably the coolest thing
we've ever gotten. And let me just say,
if we didn't open up the cards you wanted us to,
maybe next time, but
for today, sorry guys.
Alright, we'll catch you later.
See you at RTX. Goodbye.
Bye. Bye. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Found the lasers.