F**kface - F**kface Falls Draft
Episode Date: January 14, 2023Geoff, Gavin, Andrew, Producer Eric, and Audio Engineer Nick get together to snake draft all falls from the entirety of human history. Enjoy a big big argument at the top where Eric is right and every...one said he was crazy and now they don't get it. It's something. If you want to see the falls, visit the link below. Who had the best draft? Leave a comment, comment leaver. ==SPOILERS== Here is the COMPLETED draft list: https://bit.ly/FFfallsDraftFinal ==SPOILERS== Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Okay.
We can catch Gavin up when he is here,
but we have to roll on this because we've talked about it.
And this was my...
Jeff, what you're talking about
now is the problem
I brought up
and everyone assured me
was not an issue.
I don't understand how Jeff is confused.
I thought we were all tasked with getting
four fails
that we were
going to throw into a pool and they were all going to draft
from the pool, right?
No, the pool is all falls.
So I can submit as many falls to the pool as I want.
Well, there's the pool.
Where does the pool come from?
The pool comes from falls.
Anything that's considered a fall.
So you have a list.
Who made the list?
How big is your list?
How big is your list?
I have 12 falls on my list.
Okay, thank you.
So how many falls did you want each person to have on their list?
You would need a maximum of 16 if you wanted to be safe.
I don't think my 12 falls are going to get drafted.
Because there's 16 picks.
Eric?
Uh-huh?
Thoughts?
Oh, we already had this conversation.
No. Yes. No, already had this conversation. No.
Yes.
This is very clear.
Okay. There's going to be 16 draft picks taken.
There will be 16 falls.
By the time we finish this recording.
And where do those 16 falls come from?
Anything that is considered a fall.
That is the pool.
Jeff, you are asking the question that I asked last week,
and everyone kept telling me it's all false.
It's every fall.
It's all false.
I'm with you.
Yeah, this doesn't make sense unless there are a limited number of things that we but I was giving Andrew too much credit.
No, you're ridiculous.
I don't understand how this is not a pool.
I just I just don't know who's putting the water in the pool, man.
This is exactly what I said.
Why does it matter?
It's a fall.
It's exactly what I said.
It does matter if I have a responsibility to put,
if I have a responsibility to throw a couple of buckets in the water,
I need to know how many fucking buckets I need to fill up.
So here's what I've come to.
You're filling up four buckets.
Here's what I've come to.
That's what I asked.
I need to submit four fucking falls.
I have nine.
I need help narrowing them down.
So here's what i've come to
understand you know how there are a limited number of picks that we are making yes the pool that we
are drawing from yes is a near unlimited pool so the amount that we will cross over is near zero. So let's say, Jeff, that you have nine, right?
And Grape Lady is on your list.
Just use that as an example.
Okay.
It will be removed from your list by somebody taking them ahead of you if they do.
That is the natural process.
I understand that, but the NFL draft isn't like the NFL draft isn't okay.
We're going to draft from seven and a half billion people.
We're going to draft from these 300 college recruits.
We had this conversation last week.
We had this exact same conversation last week.
And how was it resolved?
You kept agreeing with Andrew.
I'm not agreeing with Andrew because I realized I was giving him too much fucking credit.
No, it's a pool.
I don't understand. This is exactly what I said.
Why are we fighting about the pool?
I am going along with this because you guys are.
Just trust me.
Just trust me.
Okay.
No.
It's going to be fine.
Okay.
It's going to be fine.
I agree with what you're saying is what I said last week.
You're pointing at Jeff.
I'm pointing at you, Jeff.
Yes, thank you.
For the audience who can't see your aggressive point, you're agreeing with me.
I'm pointing with all five fingers.
This is exactly what I said last week.
Let's compare this to the draft.
There are players that are eligible that don't get picked.
Because remember, I conceded because you could draft a monkey
or you can draft a made-up player in the 1970s.
So apparently a near unlimited number of falls
is a fine pool to draft from.
Absolutely.
I feel like, Eric, I need to just,
and I know you know this as a producer,
but we have to acknowledge that at least half the time
I'm agreeing with any of you,
it is purely for entertainment's sake,
and I don't agree, or I'm not even sometimes listening.
Yeah, real entertaining.
It's a real A-quality shit.
Gavin is still not here, so we cannot begin our draft.
That is a pool of near unlimited falls.
Yeah, a lot of variety to pick from.
I don't know why people all of a sudden hate variety.
I view variety as a great thing.
I just, I thought we were all.
So here's what I did.
I came prepared with, i came prepared with i came
prepared with like five i have that i think are there you go okay so when you're saying we submit
these you don't you just simply pick from your list you draft you draft your pick
see now wouldn't it have been cooler if we all submitted yes five and then we all picked from
that master pool.
That's what I said last week.
Like a draft?
Yeah.
No, this is a draft.
This is a draft, you fucking idiot.
The pool is falls.
We pick from the falls.
You have to evaluate them. Hey, you shut up.
I'm talking to him.
That's the entire point.
You shut up.
I'm talking to him.
You're the fucking worst, Jeff.
Right, but you never said I was right. You. I'm talking to him. You're the fucking worst, Jeff. Right,
but you never said I was right. You said I was wrong last week. I'm clearly
agreeing with you right now.
That doesn't matter. Hey, Gavin,
get on the fucking mic. Okay.
Tell this little
rat he's right. Okay. Hey,
Gavin, about a week ago,
you want to grab those headphones too so you can hear Andrew.
About a week ago, we had a conversation regarding the snake draft, which we'll be starting with.
We're already rolling, by the way.
It was things were too hot.
We had to start without you.
OK, it's been a hot morning.
OK, it sounds hot.
I can hear the hotness in the corridor.
Here's what's happened.
Do you remember a week ago had a conversation where I said, I don't understand the snake draft pool because the pool is just all falls.
And Andrew said, right, it's all falls.
And I said, shouldn't we have a smaller draft list, like a pool that we're picking from?
And Andrew said in the 1970s, somebody drafted a hockey player that doesn't exist.
You can draft a monkey, that kind of a thing.
Do you remember Jeff agreeing with this the whole time?
Because what's happened today is he's walked in and he said, I have nine
falls to submit. So there's
a, no, here's what happened. I said, I
came in and I said,
alright. Should I hit Andrew right now?
Oh, he's just not talking.
I'm not talking.
He's too busy fuming to talk.
Here's where I made
a miscalculation.
This is a miscalculation. This is a miscalculation.
I understand that globally, like what Andrew was initially saying,
I understood, which is that there's an infinite number of falls.
All recorded falls in history are a part of the pool.
But in my head, I thought that's where we all pick our options from
to submit to the communal pool.
I just interpolated there being another step that there wasn't,
which there, by the way, should be.
No, what would be the point of making a pool to draft from
and then draft?
Why would we?
We'd all just take the ones that we put in the pool.
What is the point of that?
What's the point of the NFL draft?
To try to improve your team via selection.
I'm trying to improve my fall roster via selection Trying to improve your roster. You scout.
You do your scout.
Listen, you do your scouting.
That's what the research was.
We had the conversation about how
we needed to coordinate slightly there, didn't we?
Because otherwise we'd all have Grape Lady.
I remember that part of the conversation.
No, yeah.
Well, it's fine that we can all have Grape Lady.
It'll be like, oh, fuck, you got Grape Lady.
That's who I wanted.
That's okay.
So what have we landed on what i think what we've landed on is everybody picks four falls and we just watch them okay i don't know how that's yeah i don't know i'm good with that i have links for
all of my faults so we've pre-drafted is what we're saying our personal we have our draft list
we have what we view as like the top falls and then we go down and we we pick so once
We've watched all of our four videos each
Then we pick from that to do what no no no
Jesus Christ so the way are you looking is everyone looking at the spreadsheet you have the spreadsheet up in there for a draft board
That that Eric made my house nations. I have the spreadsheet that I've sent to you guys
I can see about getting
a screen going.
I like that we're doing
a thing where we're presenting
full videos,
but we don't have anything
to watch them on.
They're setting it up right now.
Yeah.
We're here for four hours, man.
That's true.
I guess it's just because
you started recording
the second you all sat down.
We didn't.
It's just like we sat down
and Eric was in a mood
and then he was like,
roll!
I want to hear more about Eric's bad mood.
He's just sick of dealing with you.
Yeah, let me get fucking situated on the thing I didn't know we were doing.
I can hear the bad mood.
What did you know we were doing?
Watching these things that Jeff didn't know what we were drafting from.
Do you understand how many times it's had to be explained over and over and over and over again?
And it's like, well, how come you weren't prepared?
For what?
For what?
Well, you knew we were watching people fall today.
No, I didn't.
Which is why I created this draft board on my computer
because I figured we would all have these things
we could submit Washington individually.
On what?
Right?
I know.
On your phones, on your laptop, on anything.
But here we are setting up on this thing that I know we're ready for
that I didn't need it.
I like the direction we're going
because I think we can all watch the game.
Is this Jeff's house? Are you kidding me?
Are you fucking kidding me?
That was a joke.
That was a joke.
Oh my god.
Well, I thought Andrew said that just because
he was pretending he was still in Austin.
No, I was just being silly.
He was never in Austin.
You don't know that.
I feel like...
I'm not even sure that the person who came to Austin in the past, who we hung out with, is the same dude we're talking to now.
Well, whoever we got, we definitely got the same one multiple times.
Like, if he did send an avatar austin right he sent the same one
each time how surprised would you be to find out andrew pantin is triplets
and we've been dealing with some variation of three different men
i did i would love that it seemed like i went on a run in the podcast when i was in the right
so that would be a clear point of a swap at some stage.
People are like, wow, Andrew's right about this.
I feel like if he was triplets, he would definitely swap out mid-episode.
He would definitely have recorded some faces.
You're absolutely right.
Absolutely.
Yeah, for sure.
Face falls, snake draft.
This is the document you made? Yeah. It looks good. Well, no, I didn't make it. I*** Face Falls, Snake Draft. This is the document you made?
Yeah.
It looks good.
Well, no, I didn't make it.
I really like it, Eric.
I think it looks good.
I just don't, I don't, like, what else did you want?
I still don't know what it is.
Okay, so do you see, do you see, Devin, do you see the words Fall Draft, Falls Draft
on the top left?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That means that we're drafting falls, so I think it's a fall.
Counts. So we take turns. You falls. I think it's a fall.
You see the name Jeff next to the one.
That means that Jeff is going to take the first fall.
What happens after we've... We're going to end up with
like, what, 20
different videos? No, we're going to end up
with a team of four falls each.
16 falls will be...
Nick exists. I put the question
mark because I wasn't sure if Nick was on here.
I'm sorry that Andrew doesn't consider you to be a contemporary
or an equal in this. I do.
Thank you. And then after we've got 16
videos, then what?
Then the comment leavers
will comment which team they think
is overall the best fall team.
That's a great idea. And then we will
determine a winner through that.
If you are a regulation listener,
do not waste it on this.
No, this is going to be a great time.
I have, oh, I'm excited.
Yeah, should we have a disclaimer at the beginning of this
to not, if you've just found f*** face,
don't listen to this first.
That's a great primer, though.
How close our friendships are and how well we all get along.
How much we like and respect each other.
So how do I submit my faults?
Do I slack them to you?
You can just say them over the thing,
and then they can be added.
Say them?
Yeah, just say them.
I go first.
I'll do mine first.
All right, I'm going to say my first fault.
No, no, no, no, stop.
H-T-T-P-S colon.
Oh, my God.
Forward slash, forward slash,
www.tiktok.com slash T slash capital Z No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Mine is QR code dot in the upper left. What do you mean I said to say it?
Okay, so I figured it out.
Okay. So you guys can copy the links on your phones and submit them into this list as you are that.
Boy, that looked like a middle distance stare from Gavin.
Or you can tell me what to search for and I can search for it.
I just got four links.
Can I slack them to you?
Yeah, absolutely.
Do you not have names
for your links?
I have them all.
No, that's not a name.
It's not a name.
So, here's what needs to happen now.
There's five of us
and we have to determine the order
in which we are drafting.
I have to figure out which one of these fails I will
show you guys. But when do we watch all the videos?
Fails false.
I want to watch them now.
As they get picked.
As they are selected.
So we pick before watching them?
That's the whole point of the research, you idiot.
You think an NFL team doesn't watch a player play football
until you pick them?
Disrespectful with his language.
No, it's just an insane take. It's like, oh this guy i don't know what he like what is he i've never
seen him play before so wait i you're saying i should have already i should have already seen
jeff's falls no you you see your falls you have a list of your favorite and maybe they yeah and
maybe they will not overlap so he makes the pick and maybe you're like oh I know that fall that's a great
fall or it'll be like I don't know that
fall then we'll watch the fall
then you can deem if you think that that fall
was worth where it was selected or just
laugh at it
I don't understand how this is confusing
I'm not confused
I know you've never been
here's the thing I know exactly
what's happening the whole time with
this draft I just think it's fucking bat shit the way that it's happening so so when when I was
already talked down because you can draft a monkey or whatever so you're saying that wait so when
would I see Jeff one of Jeff's so okay Jeff is we're gonna determine the draft I thought we
already had the draft order
by where it was. I'm fine with the draft order. No, no, no.
I would like to randomize the draft
order. I hope there's one
person in the audience who's as confused as I am
because I'm feeling like a real thick piece of shit right now.
Who
whoever drafts first
will say what the thing is
and then we'll watch it, but they'll talk about it
and they'll like lead into it.
So we're just picking our own falls?
Yes.
Yes. But your falls
might be my falls.
Might be Jess' falls.
That's true. You might, from the infinite number
of falls that you can pick on the internet.
Iconic falls.
I think I have at least one fall that's on Eric's
list, and I feel like I have another fall that should be on everybody's list.
You don't.
We've talked about falls.
So why would we have had more?
I guarantee you don't have falls on my list.
Why would we have had more than four videos?
What do you mean, Gavin?
So you said you had like 12 videos.
I have 12 falls and the links for each one of them.
But we're only going to see four of them.
Yes.
Okay. Because I don't know. You see four of them. Yes. Okay.
Because I don't know.
You might take some of my falls.
Okay.
This is what I thought was happening.
We were going to watch all these videos in a big pool and then we were going to pick.
We're not going to watch them in a pool.
No.
Yeah.
When you pick.
Yeah.
No.
Hey, Gavin.
Right.
And that's what I brought up.
And that's what I brought up last week.
And everyone shouted me down
and here we are
Gavin was confused I don't think I had an opinion
because I didn't understand what was happening
Jeff did you figure out your four
I'm fucking working on it guys
okay so here's how we're going to sequence the draft
order I have one two three
four five Jeff is one
Gavin is two Andrew is
three I am four Nick is five however we are going to randomize this and change the order okay One, two, three, four, five. Jeff is one. Gavin is two. Andrew is three.
I am four.
Nick is five.
However, we are going to randomize this and change the order.
Okay.
It will be Eric, Gavin, Andrew, Nick, Jeff.
Yeah, okay.
I guarantee you guys know how much this is. Okay.
I tried to get pretty obscure with some of them.
Should I just slack?
I'll just slack these to you, Eric.
I would say slack them to me as you make your pick. that's what i was i'm just gonna say it no no no
you can you can announce it and then you can send me the video yeah don't send it to me early
i'm not sure what's confusing about what i said okay send it to me when you make your pick is
that not is that that's good, right? I get it.
Gavin?
Makes sense.
I'm getting my first one ready, right?
I am making the first pick.
Okay.
No, but I need... Yeah, I still need to pick.
Fucking let's see it.
Mine's easy.
Like, we can just look it up if you want to.
It's Grape Lady.
Okay.
There's no way it's not...
That's a great one.
There's no way it's not the number one pick.
Right?
Can we...
Yeah, no.
It's a definite top two.
We got to watch it.
Top three for sure.
We have to watch everything.
We have to watch it.
So anyone who went first
should have picked that, right?
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah, I think it's pretty consistent.
So if you're listening to this,
I assume in the description
we'll have a link to these falls.
Oh, we're going to put
the full list out.
Yeah.
Is that max volume?
No.
100%. Actually, I made all my falls on YouTube
because I thought we could maybe...
Is Andrew watching this?
He can see it.
I'm going to queue it up now.
I can't see it.
Oh, he can't see it.
Shit.
Yeah, you need to cast it to stream it to Andrew.
I can't see it. Shit.
Yeah, you need to cost it to stream it to Android.
I forgot the setup there was to this fall. There's so much.
Oh, no, it's worth it, though.
It is.
Oh, and 100% it's worth it,
because she falls because she tries to trip the other way.
She's a little fucking cheater is what she is.
Yeah, she is.
And now she's cheating with broken ribs.
I don't know.
Ow, ow, ow.
That is up there.
As I said, it's a top fall,
and it's the fact that she tries to trick the
lady which really makes it the sound is incredible but the attempt at trickery i always i always
forget how long that goes it's off the ship it's so long yeah that's a great pick uh grape lady
falls that that to me grape lady falls is number one with a bullet. See, I had Grape Lady 2 only because I feel like our show
has a fall that should be
arguably taken for granted.
Very interesting. Our show has a fall?
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
Ugh. Okay.
We've had several fall talks on this show.
I, uh... Oh, I guess we got, like,
Does It Do?
That may or may not
be on my list. Which is not a great fall.
How do I get into it?
I don't know.
I disagree with that.
Oh, man.
So who goes next?
It will be...
Hang on.
Give me just a second
to guess this.
No worries, man.
You take your time.
Right.
I think it'll be...
Were you looking forward
to today or not?
I was.
The thing about Eric, too, is that he's not performative in any way.
This is how he really feels.
This is 100% how I feel.
This is what you've done to him.
Okay, so that is the first.
Gavin has the second pick in the F*** Face Falls Snake Draft.
Gavin has slacked me.
And you could hear it the whole time.
Gavin's fall.
It's a classic.
I'm rolling.
Oh, this is a good one.
Guy standing outside in the snow.
He's got his warm weather.
He's a news reporter.
Stop watching.
Here they come down the hill.
It looks like Ruben is in the lead.
Oh.
Riverside Park. Rubble. Great. Gavin. Gavin. Classic. great gavin gavin classic fantastic that is great reporter flipped by sled during news report very
good andrew it's time for you to submit your fail these are uh oh jesus dude i can't stop god damn uh andrew the third selection in the
face falls snake draft well are you saying this is really tough because i i think you yeah i'll
i'll slack you the link to it i need to decide what i want to pick uh where are you on the board
you're first right yeah so i could get rolling the bullet i could get that in the swing okay i'm gonna go this is a more recent fall that i discovered last night i'm gonna slack
it to you right now he discovered this last night i did it has everything that you want in a fall
it's somebody very publicly falling uh you hear it it's amplified you get a large reaction to it
uh it's just a great fall i I'm taking Afro Man Falls Off Stage.
You see the bog water fly everywhere.
The oh shit.
The way he bounces off the mic.
A lot of people
don't often get out full sentences
before they go down.
He's usually like,
he fully got it all out.
Who was it that was auto-tuned falling recently?
Oh, Scott.
Yep. Wow. Okay.
Hey, Andrew, good pick. I just want to hear him
say oh shit again. It's a great pick.
Yeah, please.
Nick.
Nick is number four on our draft board list.
Nick, do you have a pick?
I do.
So this is a slight compilation of falls, but it was a blooper video from a hockey team
that was putting out some little promo.
Okay.
Oh, is this the...
I haven't seen this.
The mascot.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, this is such a good pick.
Polar bear mascot keeps slipping on the ice.
This is one of the best videos of the internet.
I can't believe I didn't think of this.
Oh, yeah. I have never seen this.
Have you tried the hot dogs here?
He's talking to him.
Oh, the impact. You're not going to be much used to us. I don't think it'll be awesome. Oh
The impact Oh Nick And WiperBits is a proud sponsor of Golden Gopher Hot. Don't push him! He's a fucking face-butter!
He looks like a real man on the ground!
The last one is just so real.
The gopher had to leave!
Dude.
Nick.
Nick.
Nick, that's a great... Polar Bear mascot keeps slipping on the ice. Gover had to leave. Dude. Nick. Nick. Nick.
Nick, that's a great pick.
Polar Bear mascot keeps slipping on the ice.
Oh, I love that video.
Nick, that is a great, that's a great pick.
Way to go.
Thank you.
I never would have thought that the mascot outfit would be an ideal fall.
No.
That's a really good one.
It seemed to absorb the blow.
That was great.
Jeff.
Okay.
The last pick in our first round.
I'm going to preface my falls by saying I tried to create some own rules for myself within this.
Okay.
Shocking. And those are...
No, because I didn't want to have a bunch of repetition repeats.
So I tried to find falls that are...
These are only falls that I discovered this year.
They may not be from this year,
but I only discovered them this year.
And they're falls that I specifically think
you guys haven't seen before.
Oh, that's fun.
So they're maybe not as good as some of the classics
you guys are throwing out, but they're just new.
And maybe, hopefully, you guys have fresh eyes on them.
So here's my first one.
And by the way, these are in no particular order.
Here's my first one.
They're all TikToks.
They're all TikToks. They're all TikToks.
This is just a donkey.
Okay. This little donkey does a flip.
Trying to get out of the gate.
I will say, I have seen that.
Oh, you have? I have too. But
I never would have thought of it.
Great pick. First time I'd ever seen it.
So it's new to me. That one has great freeze frames.
Yeah.
There we go.
Okay.
So this is called do a flip and it is Jeff's first round pick.
I think that's a great pick,
Jeff.
That is,
it's a little out of the ordinary,
but here's the fun thing about a snake draft.
Snake eats its own tail.
So you get to pick again.
Oh,
okay. Oh, that's what
the snake part is? It goes back down the line?
Yeah. I apologize.
You know what? Yes.
Is that not what it is? No, that's exactly what it is.
It's just what it is. Because why are we still
learning stuff right now? I don't know what this means!
I was having trouble linking, so
what did you just send me?
I sent you two through four at once on accident.
I apologize. Just pick number two.
It's the top one.
Just click on it.
All you got to do.
All right.
Now, this one is...
I thought I made it clear in my reply to the text.
I didn't understand what any of that meant.
All right.
Now, before you hit play, stop.
Okay.
So, now, the fall in this one isn't as funny.
Let's make sure it's loud so we can hear.
Okay.
The fall itself isn't as funny.
It's the aftermath of the fall that I think we can all relate to. go ahead and rewind it and let's watch it okay here we go ready yeah
i have watched that 1,000 times.
Guy falls, getting out of his car, gets mad, beats up a palm tree, punches and kicks the tree,
and then stomps on the ground and says, fuck this driveway, it's not cool.
Does, I guess we'll call it, I don't even, like, call it by its actual name?
Does anyone, what the fuck?
I'm in hell.
Does anyone know a good therapist?
There you go.
And then it's that.
Once again, probably not the best fall in the world.
I just like the story behind it.
I like just how small in the frame it is and a little zoom in.
Yeah.
That's a good, those are two fun TikToks.
Pretty good.
I have not seen that second one.
Nick, you have your second pick.
Okay.
So I debated back and forth between these two and I'll save the next one for the next
round.
But this is an old clip that I saw on TV a few years ago.
It's not the best quality, but this is from a couch race that goes slightly awry.
A downhill couch race.
I love the way, the way Nick sets this up is like America's funniest home videos.
It goes a little awry.
And I can confirm he is not in the monkey house.
Okay.
There's no sound.
It's going.
It's flying.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
What is this?
I've never heard of couch rings.
They're all fine, by the way.
Oh, my God. There's no way that guy that ate the couch at the bottom is fine.
What?
What?
Oh, my God.
It goes bad there.
Wow.
Full ragdolls.
Three full.
Oh.
One of those dudes did like six full flips.
Oh.
Wow. That's a great one, Nick.
That one makes one of mine look like dog shit.
That is.
That's incredible.
And it's an M-grade.
Nick's pick is a GIF.
That's a great one.
I want to know about couch racing.
I feel like I would assume that happens all the time.
That can't be a rare occurrence.
That might be something for us to look into in our supplemental content that we were talking about doing.
A little podcast, a little sports podcast thing.
Idea Andrew and Eric and I had.
I like it.
Andrew, your second pick.
I'm in a really tough spot because I have one pick that I love.
Two of these picks.
One of them I feel like it would be a disaster if it reached the third.
I have a first-round grade on it.
But the other one I feel like Eric might take.
And it's a great...
I'm going to take the one Eric takes.
I think Eric would have.
Instead of the first one,
I'd hope it falls to me in the third.
I'd be shocked if it did.
This is a clip that has a little bit of
setup to it. I'll slack it to you right now.
Eric, it is
about a wrestler named
the Shockmaster.
Shockmaster's a good one.
The Shockmaster's a great one.
This is the wall guy
All time classic
This was supposed to
Ric Flair, the nature boy
Uh huh
Psycho Sid Vicious
British Bulldog
Harlem Heat
Oh look at the stinger.
So, Shockmaster, I think, was supposed to be like a medicine villain.
Yes, he was.
He was supposed to be a serious character.
This is...
God, I hate her, man.
Classic WCW, too.
Oh, man.
Got a whole hair, man.
Classic WCW, too.
Oh, man.
This is so bad.
I've seen it so many times.
It's classic internet.
It's so good.
I can't. It's so long.
Why is Rick just standing in the back of the door?
Everyone's like covering each other up.
Yes.
Here it comes.
Oh!
He's covered in glitter.
He's wearing a Stormtrooper hat he can't see out of or speak out of.
I can't. Oh, my speak out of i can't oh my god it's great so for context of what happened they tested that before and it worked fine and then another wrestler put a two by four in at
the bottom so he would fall it's a setup prank oh my god it is infamous it was an established prank
and it also like it derailed that guy's career
like he was supposed to be this villain this serious villain and eric you can correct me
if i'm wrong i see from what i understand he then became like an idiot who fell over a lot
after that before he was like it ruined his entire career changed his whole career he was
in two by four altered his past he was in the natural disasters in the WWF
and then he was tugboat
and then uh.
Here is the
shock master. God that's a
Andrew that's a good one man. Way to go.
Was that on your list Eric? It was
not because I don't want to watch it ever again.
It is. It's good
on that list. I hate it. I hate it so
much. Because it cheapens wrestling? No. Oh no no no. That's about. That's WCW. At it's good on that list i hate it i hate it so much because it cheapens wrestling no oh no no
that's about that's wcw at its finest i mean really that's boccia mania fucking like the
worst of the worst and it's so hard like i like when wrestling goes right and boy when it goes
wrong it's hard uh gavin you have your first second round pick well i guess your first it's
your second round pick this is a video showing the dangers of using those forked hand truck things when unlocked
this may be inappropriate for some viewers please a great start oh the Oh my god! What are you doing?
No way!
Lock it off!
The commitment to holding onto it.
Unbelievable. The way his legs just lock.
It's all frog. He does it like a full frog formation.
He frogs in the air and lands completely flat like a fallen pencil.
I don't understand how that happened.
He got troubleshared.
How did he get into the truck to not realize that it wasn't lowered?
Well, I assume he was trying to push it towards the edge and then lower it.
Yeah.
And then he just caught the edge.
Oh, you're going too far.
Okay.
I see.
That's a great one.
That's probably the most brutal one on my list.
That's a good one. And it's definitely the brutal one on my list. That's a good one.
And it's definitely the worst day of that guy's life.
You would hope.
Yeah.
The freeze frame.
Zorb reporter.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
I forgot about this.
Hey, cheers, Matty.
Rolling.
Live leak.
And... Action, Zorb. Action, Maddie. Rolling. Life leak. And action, Zorb.
Action, Colleen.
Cheers, Maddie.
Just like the movie, we're getting started here with the Vodka.
So.
Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm okay.
Okay.
There are so many things I love about this.
Watch.
Don't anticipate the fall.
Watch her as the
director is calling action.
And
action's on!
I love the little half go.
Wait. The preemptive jump.
Cheers, Maddie.
Oh!
So great.
The fact that the green bit comes around
and hits her directly makes it look like it fell out of the sky onto her.
So my second pick is Female Reporter Hit and Owned by ZorbBall.
Hit and Owned.
That is, that's like a Mega64 classic.
Like, we would watch that constantly.
So, as it's a snake draft, I have another pick.
My third pick.
Let's see.
You know what?
This.
Oh, man.
OK, I'm going with I'll show me.
OK.
Oh, this is from Jackass 4.5.
OK.
I'm poopies and I'll show me.
Poopies, and I'll show me.
I'll show me.
I gotta say,
Poopies is very funny. That was not in the movie.
Yeah, it's 4.5. It's in 4.5
and that's unbelievable.
I think 4.5 was as good as
the movie, actually. Yeah.
I'll show me. That's my thing. I love that.
I love it. Great pick. 4.5
had the too spicy icy in it.
Oh, that's right. Yeah, they all stuck popsicles up their ass. Jeff! Oh, no, I'm it. Great pick. 4.5 had the two spicy icy in it. Oh, that's right. Yeah, they all stuck popsicles up their ass.
Jeff.
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
It's Gavin.
Because Jeff has two in a row at the end.
Yeah, it's the steak draft, man.
Yep.
All right, shut the fuck up.
We all know how it works.
This one is definitely overshadowed by Nick's couch one,
but I like this because it reminds me of the guy hitting the propeller in the Titanic.
Ooh.
Jesus Christ. What?
And it's
less damaging than Nick's?
This jockey walks away from a spectacular
somersaulting fall.
Okay.
Oh!
Wow!
That's insane!
Never seen that level of rotation in a horse race.
Dude!
It's like you fell off the horse
hit the barrier
yeah I don't know if the horse was like going the other way
or like it looks like he just
jumped off
how did he do that
I guess he got really lucky that he
was that high up because if he was like a
foot further down I'm sure that would have hurt
way way more
how how oh my god um okay uh andrew your
jesus oh man this is i'm gonna go and i'm shocked that this this is my number one fall uh but i was
worried as i said about eric taking the shock master this is number one on my list i think
this should be number one on all of our lists this is a fall that we discovered as a
group i feel like maybe not entirely but but most of us did it's an iconic fall he's near and dear
to our heart how could we have a fall draft without picking oh legendary fall flashback
getting shifted into the dirt by pedro. They call it a push.
It's not so much a push as much as he
steps away. It's like a bull.
Yeah, it's fantastic.
He puts the hat in his face
and sidesteps and Don Zimmer
just can't stop his own momentum.
Those aren't even up and in, but that's Manny
being Manny right there.
Yeah.
Oh, God. right there. Yeah.
Oh, God.
What are you going to do about it? I don't know how old Don Zimmer wasn't.
Oh, yeah.
I love the announcers here
because they're disgusted by it.
But it's like,
it's like like what the fuck
what was he supposed to do
nothing you can do
he sidestepped it
it's not like he punched it
Andrew that's a very good pick
that is a fall that has brought me joy since we
found it I will just randomly watch that
it's great I love that
fall so much it has to be on the board
it's on. Nick.
Okay, so I have a kind of a theme with the ice ones,
but I do love this video of this guy just trying to go to work.
Epic.
Was not expecting ice on the driveway.
Oh.
Oh.
I love his little, he tries to surf it for a while
and then he does the shuffle
anyone
anyone trying to not fall on ice
is always hilarious
and then he definitely hits that sign there
as he rolls into it
oh man
that's a great one
Nick good pick
excellent pick
also one I've never seen before
yeah you're a
you're a big Icefall fan.
I like Icefalls.
They're funny.
Okay.
I like it.
Okay, so my...
Jeff's last two.
My third pick, it's going to be called,
I Mean He Warned Him,
and it's similar to the second one.
The fall is only a part of the story,
and the story is, I think, what makes it so funny.
So we'll see right here.
There's also something I'll say before you hit play.
I have stopped riding.
I have stopped riding my bike right now for this very reason.
Really?
Too dangerous to ride your bike right now.
Really?
Yeah.
So go in Texas.
Okay.
Go ahead and here you go.
Here we go.
Fasten.
Look at this shit.
Oh, I saw this.
This rules.
I just.
Whoa.
Hey, watch out.
It's slippery The wheel
The wheel spinning at the end
Is really kind of beautiful
The leaves
And it's just like
Wet mossy ground.
It's just fall.
I mean, he warned him.
It's definitely, that's a good one, Jeff.
Thank you.
Good fall.
And then my fourth fall is called a cardboard wall or what?
And it's self-explanatory.
Cardboard wall or what?
Okay.
It's a short one.
He's laughing.
He's drunk.
He falls.
His entire head gets stuck in the wall.
That's a fun one.
And then he just freezes.
Oh, man.
I'd love to see that from the other side.
It's his mom watching Wheel of fortune oh man jeff those are your uh four we'll recap team we'll we'll recap at the end but uh those
are just those are jeff's four falls thank you and maybe after we do all our picks we can have
like an honorable mentions or something like that where we just go over what we didn't pick yeah
jeff can go over his other five.
Gavin.
I'm sorry.
It's Nick.
I'm shooting ahead to the top.
Nick.
So this is a Prince Impersonator having a rough time on stage.
But the fall is okay,
but it's what he does afterwards.
Okay.
Prince Impersonator falls off stage.
I'm going to unmute.
Oh! Gotta unmute.
Sticking with it.
That's a consummate professional right there.
That's a good one.
That's fantastic. Yeah, that's very funny.
Now, we roll on to andrew andrew what
is your fourth and final pick in the face falls draft i have a lot of falls still this is tough
okay i'm gonna i'm gonna go so far i've gotten everything in my top five outside of grape lady
okay there's an obvious pick i'm going it was mentioned before and this should play at the
specific time
in which it happens.
I'm taking another draft,
near and dear to our hearts.
Okay.
This is a fall that is not
visually all that impressive,
but the damage it causes
for what it is
is wonderful.
And here it is.
I am picking Gavin's visit to the fall.
Our first one to that fall. Okay. And here I am picking Gavin's
Okay, so you did you get into position
You break everything just the pelvis
But you doesn't sleep terrible three weeks after that fall it It's true. My leg was going numb every night.
It's the least impressive fall to damage ratio I've ever seen.
I absolutely agree.
It doesn't look like it hurts that much,
but we all know that it definitely does.
Try to get a good pause.
Oh, I definitely will. Yeah, if you freeze frame, his body crumbles within itself.
That's the shove.
Oh, everything's gone wrong.
That's the way you're in trouble right there.
You split the legs.
Yeah, the second slip is what really did me.
It's the impact.
It's like all of your bones try to leave your body.
Yeah, the bone evacuation.
That's the exact.
Back and to the left.
Back to the left to the left.
The thing is your hip hits before your hand hits.
Yeah,
it is.
Look at,
look at that hand.
Look at that hip.
Yeah,
it is.
Oh God,
see the pelvis.
Oh God,
damn that right there.
You don't even look like you.
It's a great pick.
I know it a little.
Okay, so now Gavin's fourth and final pick.
Once again, very similar page to Nick with the ice slippage.
I even considered Nick's one, but eventually I settled on this one
just because of the slippers.
Not a super bad fall.
This one starts tremendously quickly, so get ready.
Man slides down his driveway on ice.
I just love the slippers to me.
He just keeps going.
That is...
You gotta sit again for this.
That's the grace of a man who's done that before.
His coffee just goes all over the wall. Ohop! Nice drink. His coffee
just goes all over the wall.
Manfall
and slides down
his driveway on ice.
That is a steep driveway.
Manfall.
Manfall.
I think that's kind of like the beauty of this Falls thing
is that they are written in
the dumbest way because they are truly the most lowbrow thing that you can do.
My final is one that is near and dear to my heart.
It's a more recent one, one that I can't get enough of.
I keep watching over and over.
I don't think this is going to be on anyone else's list or on anyone else's radar.
But I love this video.
It's called Merry Christmas.
Oh, it's holiday themed too
oh i've seen this one before
now there's so much set up.
Watch him in the back. Is it flower to be snow?
Watch him checking the wind.
He takes the steps back.
Bang.
Oh, my God.
Perfect.
Merry Christmas.
I really, really love that.
I know that's probably not high on anyone's list,
but it is truly.
No, I hadn't seen that. Yeah but it is truly no uh i hadn't
seen that yeah it's it's truly a special one to me right now it is it's one that i can't stop
watching uh so there we have it our full draft list is completed um should we talk them through
do we want to like run them down real quick yeah yeah i think you should run down what everybody has. Eric has Grape Lady Falls, female reporter hit and owned by Swerve Paul,
Jackass 4.5 I'll Show Me,
and Merry Christmas.
Gavin, reporter flipped by sled during news report,
how not to unload a truck,
guy flies through the air,
this jockey walks away from a spectacular somersaulting fall,
and man fall and
slides down his driveway on ice.
Andrew
Afro man falls off stage.
The unforgettable debut
of the Shockmaster. Flash
back to the time when Pedro
Martinez threw Don Zimmer to the
ground and does it do
easy feet?
Nick has.
Polar bear mascot keeps slipping over on the ice.
Downhill couch race doesn't go as planned.
Watch man's epic slip down icy driveway and Prince impersonator falls off stage.
Finally, Jeff, do a flip.
Does anyone know a good therapist?
I mean, he warned him
and cardboard wall
or what?
Those are the official
snake draft falls
for.
I'm excited to see
the comment leavers reaction
to who they think
won this draft.
Very curious.
I'm shocked by how smooth
it went once we got going.
I totally understand it now.
I think this was
this made total sense.
And now I still I still don't agree with the pulling system, but I can we cut going. 15 minutes. I totally understand it now. I think this was the total sense.
I still don't agree with the pooling system, but this was fun. Can we cut all the times
I didn't know what was going on for like 15 straight minutes?
Hang on, let me check.
I'm looking. No, that's in there.
That's most of the content.
That was annoying.
I'm annoyed by me.
Imagine if
it was just explained well to start.
Do we want to go through the falls we didn't submit for our book?
I don't think we need a ton of them.
I would say pick your best.
What's your favorite?
Best honorable mention.
What's your best honorable mention?
We'll go in reverse order too, Jeff, if you want to go first.
I'm fine with that.
Or you don't have to.
We can go in whatever order you guys want.
Yeah, I'll do this one.
I just think this isn't a crazy one or anything.
I just think that it's uh she's just she's just funny okay uh her noises are kind of
funny hashtag funny af hashtag epic fail hashtag face plant make sure there's audio
scorpion that's pretty good i like just trying to do a somersault um scorpion that's great
uh we go to nick impact i don't have an extra okay cool for andrew do you have a uh
yeah i'll just go can i just read my board and i'll submit one for watching absolutely i i have
uh madonna falling over i don't know if you've seen that one. That's great because it's a cape-related incident.
I have Charlie Brown kicking.
I feel like that's one of the most iconic falls
of all time.
Always falling.
At eight, I have Skyfall,
which is maybe the best Bond movie.
It's definitely top three.
It should be in consideration.
I also have, following that, Niagara Falls,
one of the all-time great Canadian
falls. Number 10,
I have
Snow Jogging
Couple, which is
what I'm going to submit.
That's a great one. I just love that
one. Let's see it. Let me open up Slack. Then I
have the Travis Scott Auto-Tune Fall
and the Kelsey Grammer Fall.
Things we've talked about on the show before.
Close it.
I almost drafted Niagara Falls, but I really wanted Gavin on my board.
It was a really tough call.
I'm surprised nobody picked the new Post Malone fall.
He broke his ribs on that one.
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right.
Oh, I've never seen that.
It's the perfect texture for running, is what Andrew submitted.
I said, what are you doing running?
And you're saying it was really good out?
It's the perfect texture for running.
Very low impact on its dry snow, so your feet don't get wet. What have you seen, what are you doing running? And you're saying it was really good out? It's the perfect texture for running. Very low impact and it's dry snow,
so your feet don't get wet.
What have you seen while you've been out running?
It's been a lot of fun.
There's a lot of other runners
and more skiers than runners for sure.
I think they've got a little bit of the advantage
with the whole stride and glide thing,
but it's too nice to not be out here.
Go ahead and keep on the run.
Sorry to have kept you,
but I appreciate you coming with us.
Total psychopath.
We've seen a lot of people out here
like he said running sledding just enjoying
she immediately grabs her back
for running um boy uh that was great yep Thank you so much for entertaining this dumb idea. Yep.
I'll say the one I want to watch is Granny Falls using TikTok filter.
Oh.
At least, yes.
This probably should have been drafted, honestly.
Why did she go? I've never seen that
I definitely could have drafted this
This is high on my board
It's hard to point out when the real granny fell
Just watch her eyes
She's really
There you go
Was she being funny or did she just get disoriented?
She got disoriented
There you have. Was she being funny or did she just get disoriented? She got disoriented. There you have it.
Oh my god.
That was amazing.
There you go.
That's the snake draft.
Well, I've got one in my honorable mentions.
Oh, okay, cool.
I didn't put it in just because everyone's seen it
and I wanted to do some slightly newer stuff,
but it's a classic.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, okay, okay.
I don't think I've seen this. This is Catch the Ice, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. I don't think I've seen this. This is catch the ice dude
Gavin oh no. Oh
No
Yeah, this is a man looking at like frozen pool. Fuck the fucking world.
And my new band is called Sis Kill.
Motherfucker, fuck the world.
Oh my God.
How is Sis Kill doing these days?
Well, that is the, man, that is the...
Man, that is the...
What a draft.
What a draft that we've just had.
That was really incredible.
Andrew, is that about
how you wanted it to go?
Yeah, that's exactly
how I wanted it to go.
I thought that was a lot of fun.
Oh, Eric just left.
No, that was one that...
Yeah, it's because I had to disconnect.
That was one that I actually
couldn't find.
What was that?
It was an old video from break.com,
or big boys, whatever it was at the time.
And it was a guy on a snowboard,
and the guy filming says,
you just got to do it, bro-ha.
And then he comes down and he just stacks it on a snowboard.
I literally can't find the video.
If anyone can find you just got to do it, bro-ha.
Yeah.
The guy on the snowboard.
Let me know if you can find that.
There was a whole bunch of classic falls
that Bernie and I used to fucking love
from this old TV show called Hardcore TV
that had like a moderate shot on it.
And they're all off the internet now.
And it's like a lot of the internet just went away.
So many great videos.
Yeah.
Well, there you have it.
There's our...
Phenomenal.
There's our time.
Anything else?
Any parting words about our falls anything people
are going to be able to oh that's right we have to see what the comment leavers think yeah who
they think the best draft is we'll put these out um in an episode or something yeah yeah and uh
so we're just gonna have this as an audio thing and they could just click links yeah okay yeah
um that'll be it and i I think... You need to make that
work on a phone somehow.
First off,
it's always exciting
when a new,
unproven idea
goes off without a hitch
and has no...
Confusion.
Confusion or difficulties.
It just works as intended
out of the gate.
So that's,
you know,
affirming.
I feel like,
you know,
when Andrew and I
were talking about this initially,
we were saying that
maybe this could become
a fall thing, like we do the fall falls. Oh, that's fine. And like a big event. But I feel like, you know, when Andrew and I were talking about this initially, we were saying that maybe this could become a fall thing.
Like we do the fall falls.
Oh, that's like a big event.
But I feel like the snake draft works so well, as we all knew it would, that we should do this for other kinds of videos.
Yeah.
Like this could be kind of like a recurring segment where next time we do, I don't know, people throwing up or getting their legs cut off or whatever.
Oh, God.
Getting their leg.
You want a draft of people getting their legs cut off?
Probably not, but I was just throwing out there weird things that happened.
Definitely not.
Maybe car oopsies.
Who knows?
Car oopsies.
That's some great car oopsies.
I'm on board with that.
Okay, so let us know.
You can tweet at us at F*** Face Pod.
You can check it out on Instagram.
I'm sure we'll have some selects from clips and things like that.
But we'll have, I mean, really, it's up to you guys.
Who had the best fall draft?
It was Nick.
That mascot one is really, boy, that's a good one.
That's Sofa, too.
It's going to be hard to beat Nick.
Not to influence the audience.
I think that's it.
Thank you.
Any wise words?
Any parting words?
Anything?
I'm glad we all understood how this would go. I think it's it. Thank you. Any wise words? Any parting words? Anything? I'm glad we all understood how this would go.
I think it went great. Textbook.
Cut.