F**kface - Gavin No Shows Geoff // F**kface Guilt Basket [119]

Episode Date: September 7, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about NOT being a technical difficulties podcast, Everyone vs Gavin, no prototype this week, the gross lake, Geoff's bike wreck, Andrew falls too, end cap wrap up, Gavin'...s drywall, extra medium ruling, a marge shirt out of spite, and Does It Do? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma, is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics, groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics. Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation of Beastrin.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice. Your choice, that is. From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills. And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey and with me as always, Andrew Panton and Gavin Free, my two best little friends in the world. How are you guys doing? Good. I'm doing great.
Starting point is 00:01:56 How are you doing, Gavin? Good. Oh, could you not hear me? Nothing? Okay, great. Fantastic. This is good. This is like old face. This is like, no, no, no, no. He's here though. He's in the fucking discord. Yeah, but I don't... He clearly can't hear us, or he's talking, or his mic has an issue. We went through this last time, right? Where, like, his mic wasn't connected to the correct thing. Andrew, before the episode started, we said, that face isn't really, like, a technical... And we were wrong. We're just fucking wrong.
Starting point is 00:02:20 We were wrong. We were wrong. Can you still not hear me? No, you can. You got it. You got it. Hey. Ah, mute. I was on mute. You were wrong. Can you still not hear me? No, you can. You got it. You got it. Hey. Ah, mute.
Starting point is 00:02:26 I was on mute. You were muted? That was the issue? Okay, then that's not even technical difficulties. That's not. Okay. I was muted, like, further up the Discord, so not in Discord. I thought, you know.
Starting point is 00:02:37 That's not technical difficulties. That's technical dickhead. There you go. Ugh. Ugh. So, uh, Kevin, how are you doing now that you got a voice not too bad thanks for asking okay i didn't get a thanks i asked you first thanks for asking andrew thank you thank you my day is complete now so i have uh i was telling them gavin the in the uh pleasantries i had
Starting point is 00:03:03 prepared a little photo essay for today, and then it expanded in ways that I did not anticipate. Did it expand due to my recent visit? It might have. That might be a part of it. And I'd like to... So I'd like to begin a story, and then pause the story,
Starting point is 00:03:21 and then come back to the story at the end if I can. Okay. I'd like to play a little game with you guys where i'm gonna send some photos out and i'll see if you can tell what's going on uh i had to make a special directory on my phone just for all the first off i gotta let you guys know right now i'm a little loopy i'm a little tired i have not been sleeping well i've been sleeping in my office all week. Oh, no. What?
Starting point is 00:03:48 Yeah. We got some bedroom shelves going up. Yeah, we do. We do. We have bedroom shelves going up. And let me show you here. Where's the album? Here we go.
Starting point is 00:04:00 You had it. All right. So I can't sleep and I can't sleep in my bedroom right now because of this. We're getting shit put on the wall. I don't know what to call that. Wall. Wow, I was immensely close. Yeah, you're getting trim done.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Like, ornate wall trim. Now, it's not going to be white. I sent you guys a photo. It's blue. The color is called bedroom boudoir. It's a very dark blue. It's a blue dart. So the color is called bedroom boudoir. It's a very dark blue. It's been that cover forever, color forever,
Starting point is 00:04:27 but I'm getting, we wanted to get those added in to fit, fancy it up and to really make it pop. Yeah. Like Nick said, so that'll be all the same color. It won't be so, so it won't stand out as much.
Starting point is 00:04:37 And my ceiling has a bunch of like popcorn on it. Not exactly popcorn, but like nineties weird texture. That's just so fucking gross and every night when i fall asleep the last thing i see is a really bad decision somebody made in the mid 90s and so while we decided to fix the walls and do that at the same time so they're like removing all the texture from the ceiling and then they're gonna paint it the same color as the walls so my bedroom will be like a sex cave uh and uh i'm pretty jazzed about it but
Starting point is 00:05:05 because of that uh everything that lived in my bedroom has to be everywhere else in my house so my king-size bed is uh i'm currently backed up against it in in the library right now so for a while we had like 40 episodes where i was doing the podcast from my bedroom now the bedroom came to me and quite uncomfortable you realize how different the temperature is from room to room in an old house. Oh, yeah. It's way hotter on Millie's side of the house than my side. I get what she's been bitching about for so long. So I'm a little out of sorts because of that.
Starting point is 00:05:37 Let me send you the next photo, and this is where the game begins. Okay. And I should just say, anyone who wants to follow along, if you watch on our YouTube or the Rooster Teeth site, you will see the photos as they pop in.
Starting point is 00:05:48 They will also be posted on our social media feeds, I assume. Yes, absolutely. Please play along. That's a photo. You guys will see. It's of me and Emily.
Starting point is 00:05:57 I look unhappy. That's not for any reason other than I take bad photos, and so I make that face in every photo. I figure if I get ahead of it and I own the bad photos. And so I make that face in every photo. I figure if I get ahead of it and I own the bad photo, then it becomes me. It's my thing.
Starting point is 00:06:12 And so Emily looks beautiful and I look constipated. That's by design. So guess what we're doing there. And then here's the next. Here's the next photo. See if you can. This is the mystery. What do you think is going on in this photo? though see if you can this is the the mystery what do you think is going on in this photo what do you think is happening there
Starting point is 00:06:30 oh what it's oh by the way for audience if you haven't gone on the instagram yet it's a photo of a of a table with two empty chairs and then there's's a group of people sitting at a table in the background. For Andrew, Eric, and Nick, I know what he's gone for here. I'm wondering if you guys can figure it out. No cheating. I'm trying to... Well, is it possible?
Starting point is 00:06:55 I'm going to guess with the first photo that you somehow had the cameras reversed, potentially, that you thought it was forward-facing and it was outward-facing? Okay, you're overthinking it a bit. If anybody else is bit uh if anybody else is out is anybody else want to guess before i just answer it nick thinks that was it as well yes eric the photos are definitely related same same restaurant same table if the photos are
Starting point is 00:07:14 related does it have to do the way you described it does it have to do with the two empty chairs oh yeah yeah yeah you're you're really you're keying in on on what's going on here. I'm not impact taking a photo of the group of people behind me. I don't know. And I will never know. I am taking a photo of the two empty chairs. Why would I be taking a photo of two empty chairs? I'm going to say that you're supposed to have a wonderful meal with Gavin and I'd assume Meg. Guessing and they no showed would be my guess based off of the clues that we've gathered so far.
Starting point is 00:07:47 It is unbelievable that mere days after we have to have a preemptive conversation about having an intervention for someone's goddamn lateness. He no shows me at a double date dinner on a Saturday night. I thought I thought I thought I a Saturday night. I thought, I thought, I thought, I love this guy. I love his girlfriend. Best friends in the world. I need to spend more time with people. I'm such a hermit. I made the effort. Emily
Starting point is 00:08:15 made a reservation for this Japanese barbecue place where it's kind of like hot pot, but you just like, it's like a big hot rock in the middle and you just cook all your food right there. Kind of new. We were excited about it. I texted Gavin on like a Thursday and I said, hey, I got reservations at 7 p.m. on Saturday for this place. Do you want to go with us?
Starting point is 00:08:32 Emily will make the reservations. And he's like, we're in, absolutely. Send them the reservations, the whole thing. Saturday night, seven o'clock. I sit down and I think, oh, fuck, he's not going to show. And Emily's like, what? Has he ever no-showed dinner before? And I go, no, but I just have a feeling he's not going to show up.
Starting point is 00:08:50 And she's like, that's ridiculous. By 7.05, I knew it. So I texted him and I said, hey, buddy. And by 7.08, Gavin texts back, fuck. Completely no-showed our double date. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know what's going on. I've never done that before.
Starting point is 00:09:13 So you have no excuse. You just forgot. You just never occurred to me. I guess I just didn't click the thing in the email because I think that makes you a calendar bite. What I did instead was I set a reminder on my phone. But all that does is just put a reminder on my screen when I look at it. It didn't actually go like, hey, dinner tonight.
Starting point is 00:09:34 So when I got the text message, not only did I see Jeff saying, hey, I also saw the reminder just sat there for the exact time that I was looking at. And I was just in like a Home Depot across town. And I was with Meg, we were just getting some stuff and I was just like, oh no! I couldn't believe I was in the middle of the Home Depot. I was like, no! And she was like, oh my God, can we make it? I was like, no, even if we leave right this second, we'll be half an hour late. Complete nightmare. Okay. Everything's falling apart.
Starting point is 00:10:15 I'm being 100% honest when I tell you that I was so fucking happy you didn't come back. Because of this. Because I knew you had just given us podcast material, which I infinitely appreciated. Also, as much as I knew you had just given us podcast material which I infinitely appreciated also as much as I love you and Meg an opportunity not to talk to people in my life at this point is always greater than an opportunity to talk to people so it was
Starting point is 00:10:33 like totally fine we had a lovely little dinner also Japanese barbecue where you make your own food fucking great we should all go there together sometimes I would love to I was really excited about it that's go there together sometimes. I would love to. I was really excited about it. Gavin is slipping.
Starting point is 00:10:51 This is a real interesting problem. It's on a much lower scale, but I wasn't even going to bring it up, but with this story, Gavin texted me yesterday that you're going to text me back in two hours. Still haven't got a text from Gavin. I think the last episode that aired
Starting point is 00:11:06 we talked about how Ezra made both of us wait like three hours for dinner at different times. Immediately no show. I think we even set when it's too late to go to the dinner and I think 30 minutes would have been okay under what we ruled.
Starting point is 00:11:22 He wouldn't have made it in 30 minutes. I was on the east side of town. He would have been fucked. Yeah. I mean, I've been busy with trying to get filming ready and I've got Dan here and stuff, so I'm a little bit more
Starting point is 00:11:37 scatterbrained than normal, but that is no excuse. And that is something like a little cheeky double date with Jeff and Emily and Meg what's better than that in a week that's like I was looking forward to it yeah me too there's no reason I'll tell you this I had an opportunity the next weekend because this was two weeks ago uh dinner was fucking amazing Eric we got to go there sometime uh I had an opportunity the next weekend to get dinner and I invited Trevor and Barbara instead because I knew they'd show up
Starting point is 00:12:03 and they did they totally showed up it was fine I felt I was and for the record Gav listen out of everybody in the world before I don't want to beat you up too much out of everybody in the world who understands being busy and scatterbrained it's me I get I
Starting point is 00:12:21 was not offended in any way I wasn't upset you didn't actually hurt my feelings emily and i laughed about it for 30 minutes straight we just joked about how i would talk about the podcast we decided to do this photo thing it was it became instant instant content which i love it's all i want to do is live in content anyway right so i swim around in content so it was it was percent fine uh even before we get to the next phase of that story uh i just want you to know uh irrespective of the the second half uh i it was it was totally okay and you didn't hurt my feeling well i appreciate it i
Starting point is 00:12:55 mean i obviously i spent the next four hours feeling pretty bad about it and then uh most of the next morning too but yeah well i want you to feel bad for a while just not forever yeah and i never see Emily either I'm always like I talk to you every week but I'm always really excited to talk to Emily because she rules yeah she's great she's way more interesting than I am so what came next
Starting point is 00:13:17 I'm fascinated to see how this builds okay well we're going to take a pause on that story I thought the story was over there but turns out it wasn't today continued to surprise me first off I was was i was gonna say also i fully planned to have a working prototype maybe even a commercial of the fruit gloves for you but i realized that while there are like muscular dudes with more tattoos than me doing carpentry in my bedroom looking way cooler than me i'm i cannot stand in my kitchen and velcro a melon baller to the back of my hand it's just like i just i couldn't do it i was i
Starting point is 00:13:53 felt so like dumb and emasculated and like unimportant and like embarrassed i just i've been hiding in my library all week. It's been so lame. Which sucks because it's also where I'm sleeping. So I'm spending like 24 hours a day in... It's like that movie Cube. I cannot get out of this room. Saved my life. Anyway, so today I decided to go. All I had really prepped for you guys was that.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Because I felt bad about not having the fruit gloves. And so I decided to go for a bike ride because sometimes that inspires stories. And I thought like maybe I would I would like take you guys along on a journey on a story with me if I could find some interesting narrative. And it's my you know, my balls are fine now so I can ride my bike again. Finally, I haven't been because it's been raining, but I was very excited to get out on the new bike. It's fucking awesome. First of all, it's just fucking awesome. Like I cannot say enough good things about this bike.
Starting point is 00:14:47 I'm in love with it. I would marry it if I could. It's like the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I'm completely, I've completely got it figured out now. It's so fucking fast, which is a part of the problem. And anyway, so it was just, I was having a great time. Stumbled into an amazing situation immediately where i rode i rode up on a homeless guy with a big stick who was trying to i don't know he was fighting a
Starting point is 00:15:13 retaining wall like he just kept stabbing it over and over again with the stick like he was trying to like trying to puncture this concrete retaining wall and i thought well this is a great photo but he looked at me and then he just like stared at me as i was writing up on him while he continued to poke the retaining wall and yell at it and i was like there's no way i can get around this guy after taking a photo with him and not take take a poke to the eye you know yeah i was like fuck it i guess i guess that's not gonna be a part of the story so uh i ride on i go around town lake and, and I took a photo of how pretty Austin is. And this is kind of the story I stumbled upon.
Starting point is 00:15:49 I took a photo of kind of how pretty Austin is. Not the best photo of how pretty Austin is, but it's just a photo. Here it is. I'm gonna show you guys. For the audience at home, it's just a picture of Town Lake. You can see some of the buildings in the background.
Starting point is 00:16:00 There's sun, there's clouds. I'm clearly on the hike and bike trail nick loves it down there as do i can you from this photo can you guys tell what's wrong with austin is it like the weird layer of scum that's on the lake at the moment let's get a little closer i'm gonna zero in on an area this photo is not too powerful it's the same fucking photo as all the other photos how's that possible all right let me see if i can skip that one do a different one uh okay so here's a photo zoomed in a little bit oh and jesus oh it's we're not done oh my god uh here is holy shit next i'm just gonna go i'm just gonna go with the next four it's garbage it looks like everybody likes to come
Starting point is 00:16:46 to Austin and have their bachelor parties and their bachelorette parties and have their awesome weekends and everybody loves to go like paddle boarding or kayaking or canoeing on Lake Austin I'm here this is a public service announcement to everybody who wants to visit Austin stay off the fucking water dude it is gross
Starting point is 00:17:02 it is disgusting look at that last photo with the big gulp. It looks like you could walk on that water. Like, that's like a permeable layer. I've never seen it like that. Well, we just had a lot of rain, so it's worse than usual. But I can tell you, because I ride my bike all the time, it's been like this for at least a year.
Starting point is 00:17:21 And here's where it gets what really sucks. Look at these. I rolled up on these dudes and i'm like oh check it out here's uh it's like down by where all the turtles sit is it well it's funny you should say that here's the next photo here's a bunch of turtles you see this photo of the the turtles hanging out on the uh on the log they're like i can see i watched those turtles for about 10 minutes and I could hear their conversation. The guy on the right's like, hey man, you jump in. And the guy on the left's like, fuck you, I'm not going
Starting point is 00:17:52 in, you go in. He's like, I'm not going in. I went in first last time. The turtles are daring each other to get in the water and nobody's brave enough to do it because they fucking know. Then, next to the turtles, I saw these fucking guys. Ducks. The ducks won't go in the water. They're having the same conversation as the turtles, I saw these fucking guys. Ducks. The ducks won't go in the water.
Starting point is 00:18:09 They're having the same conversation as the turtles. You go in. Dude, I am not fucking setting foot in that because you're scared. I'm not scared. You go in. I'm not going in. I went in. I'm telling you, dude.
Starting point is 00:18:16 Then. You're making us look like dicks in front of the toes. Yeah, you're making us look like dicks in front of the toes. Then this is the ultimate photo right here, huh? A little bit down i found here's a log here's a log where the turtles and the bird and the ducks are daring each other nobody wants in this fucking water because it is gross and this is why i bring this up i just got horrified and i think it was just fucking the grossest thing i've ever seen uh and everybody talks about how beautiful Austin is this weekend.
Starting point is 00:18:46 Actually tomorrow for every Friday, Saturday and Sunday in Austin, I guarantee you it's going to town. Lake is going to look like this in 24 hours. That's a picture. If you haven't seen it at home, uh, it's called party Island.
Starting point is 00:19:01 It's where all the standup paddle boards get together and they build a little Island where they all drink and enjoy the sun and smoke weed and stuff. That does not look fun. If you for the audience who may not be looking, it's got to be, I'm guessing, 500 paddle boards and canoes all sandwiched together on the body of the same body of water where all those ducks in the where the ducks the birds and the fucking turtles are too scared to go in every fucking day i read by the way also the austin water is so gross right now dogs aren't supposed to go in it there's toxic algae that will kill dogs every day when i ride my bike i see assholes throwing their fucking balls in the water for the golden retrievers these people are killing their dogs. It's driving me nuts.
Starting point is 00:19:45 And also that toxic algae, there's another kind of algae that if you touch it, it gives you your entire body a rash. And all these people are reporting on Reddit and on Instagram. They're like, what's happening to me? I broke out in a rash. I don't know. After I went paddleboarding, stay out of that fucking water, dude. It is hideous.
Starting point is 00:20:02 It is gross. That's my public service announcement to anybody who wants to visit austin and get on a stand-up paddleboard or rent a canoe because you think town lake is cool it was at some point but it hasn't been in a long time it is a toxic wasteland do you think maybe you got jock itch from i was about to say dude maybe i did that's a great i don't think i don't think that's a... I'm surprised you haven't made that connection. I did it until just now! One turtle got
Starting point is 00:20:30 jock it, Jeff, and the entire animal kingdom refuses to get in. I think it's all connected. Dude, I'm still reeling from jock it. I mean, my jock it would have come from the other side of the dam. Well, Barton Springs. God damn it. Yeah, well, I fucking learned from my mistakes. Keep your Well, learn from my mistakes.
Starting point is 00:20:48 Keep your genitals away from Austin water. You just gave a public service announcement for yourself without realizing you're the person who did it. Yes. That's how dire the situation is. If there's anything that funnels splashes of water down the side of your thighs towards your groin, it's a jet ski. That's the ultimate. It's the ultimate squat rot splash device.
Starting point is 00:21:13 You did all of that to warn people not to do the thing that you did. Yeah, learn from my mistakes. For fuck's sake. Dude, that is disgusting. I want to rent a boat with like a net and try and get some of that up. Like a face river clean up. Oh no, there's no way you could do that. You would vomit so fast.
Starting point is 00:21:32 Yeah, there's not enough trash cans on earth, dude. It's, and I recognize that we just had a major, major rain and it's dumping a lot of trash into the water, but I promise you it looked like that last week too. It's not. Yeah, i've been noticing that um recently just going over the bridge i noticed that sort of trash island further in the middle yeah it was just floating in the center a few weeks ago i don't know if it's the
Starting point is 00:21:56 the 500 000 people that moved to austin in the last 90 days or what but i'm not i'm not trying to be one of those people uh but But just stay out of the fucking water because it's gross and dangerous and keep your pets away from it. The ducks don't want anything to do with our water. Your dog shouldn't either. That's a nice public safety. Yeah, that's my little story. That's the only
Starting point is 00:22:17 story I stumbled upon on my bike. Oh, oh, so then I take all those photos. I come around. I start heading home. It's probably an hour later at this point from when I drove past the crazy guy poking the stick at the retaining wall. I've done a full loop around Town Lake, down to the dam,
Starting point is 00:22:34 all the way back up to the other end. I stopped to take photos a bunch and give my condolences to the fucking ducks and the turtles. Guess who I see in the exact same spot doing the exact same thing. The homeless guy is still trying to kill the retaining wall with the giant stick.
Starting point is 00:22:54 And when I roll up on him, I'm pretty far away from him. He's already looking at me. He's doing the same thing where it's his right arm is just like robotically poking it. And he's like yelling. It might be some sort of an incantation or spell under his breath and he's just staring at me the whole time
Starting point is 00:23:09 man let me tell you that was I don't often get intimidated but I didn't enjoy having to drive past that dude in that moment it uh I mean I did and I was fine he didn't attack because you don't know what he's thinking because I don't know what he's thinking and he's displayed an aggression towards inanimate objects on and i'm way more flashy i'm moving uh there's a lot more to look
Starting point is 00:23:30 at i'm more colorful than a retaining wall it's way easy like i feel like i would catch his attention like he's obviously transfixed and hates this concrete i don't know what he would do to me right so uh anyway uh once again did not take a photo of this dude because yeah i'm pretty sure he would have killed me. And then we'd be you guys would be fucking you guys would be right now trying to put a podcast together, making fun of me for being 20 minutes late to my own podcast. And I'm late because I'm either dead or in the emergency room. Boy, would you feel bad? Anyway, so then the last piece, what I thought was the last piece, I thought that was it.
Starting point is 00:24:07 I thought that was where my photos was going to share with you. I'm going to share one more with you that happened on the way home that's the owie i got from the first bike wreck on my new bike is that your knee it's a stinger dude it's my knee yeah did you come off oh yeah i fucked my i'm not even lord i'm not even gonna be brave dude i'll i i i i sniffled a little bit when i did it it uh i was like i was going like maybe 12 or 14 miles an hour and i was crossing a four-way and uh i was actually in a bike lane but you know how like like they have like raised curbs i just i guess i was just like just going a little too close to the curb and you know how like sometimes if you're you think you're turning hard and your your pedal might hit the ground it'll just scrape and like bump you a little bit and you keep going well that kind of happened but it was with the curb except i guess
Starting point is 00:24:59 i was going fast enough and and and the the pedal must have just got hooked into the curb so that my whole bike just hit it and did an immediate left turn like the whole thing just swung around like on a stripper pole and sent the right half of my body one way and the left half of my body on the other way and i landed i landed on my knee right there with my body pushed to the right. So I sprained my knee to the right brutally. But as I was doing that, the momentum was pulling me away. So my legs shot out the other direction. And so my left ankle got sprained going left. So I've got a right sprain on my left knee and a left sprain on my left ankle.
Starting point is 00:25:42 So it's almost impossible to walk. It hurts. There's nothing I can favor. If I go like, oh, I'll justrain on my left ankle so it's almost impossible to walk it hurts like there's no there's nothing i can favor you know like if i go like oh i'll just walk on the left a little bit then it just hurts the knee if i go i'll walk on the right a little bit it hurts the ankle uh also the one thing i'm trying not to do right now is is cause too much damage to my balls uh because i'm still i'm barely four weeks past the theectomy. I racked my balls so fucking hard on my bike. I saw purple. Like the world went purple for a second just from the ball pain.
Starting point is 00:26:12 I had to get over the ball pain before I could even assess my knee and my leg. And then I had to ride my bike home. And it fucking hurt. And it hurts to sit on. Did you not hit the bar in the middle of the bike? Yeah. Yeah bike yeah yeah yeah yeah dude I almost like you know
Starting point is 00:26:30 how like your balls are connected to your tongue all the way through your body like I hit my balls so fucking hard I could feel like my throat was trying to eat my tongue it hurts so bad it's reeling your tongue down your throat yeah and then and then as that subsided a
Starting point is 00:26:49 little bit and i realized that i probably hadn't like broken my dick in some way that i needed to go to the emergency room for to get re you know reaffixed uh just all the fucking leg pain really really hit me uh so knocked that out got got got past my first bike wreck on the new bike bike did swimmingly well by the way i didn't even not a scratch on it uh i past my first bike wreck on the new bike bike did swimmingly well by the way i didn't even not a scratch on it uh i think my body took all of the scratches so i thought that was the end i thought that was the end of of my photo i said i thought like oh cool i get one more photo out of the day for these guys that i can share with them and then before you move on what was what's now the integrity of your ankle because obviously andrew's at 100 yeah
Starting point is 00:27:24 i'd love to hear yeah somebody who's 100 at the current moment what's now the integrity of your ankle? Because obviously Andrew's at 100%. Yeah, I'd love to hear, yeah. Somebody who's 100% at the current moment. What's your ankle? I would say my knee is at like 60% maybe, and my ankle is at like 35%. Ooh. Yeah, like I'm pretty hard limping right now. Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:39 Yeah, I can't really bend it. So I'm a little bummed out. I'm bummed out because I hate to see Austin look gross. I hate my city to be gross. I hate that I rode around my favorite spot for 45 or two hours today. And I was just assaulted by the smell of like fucking gross trash and mildew and like human feces and stale booze. And it just, it was so fucking gross today. I was really, it was a real bummer. Um, and for, for those of you people that are like, well, if you, if you hate it so much, do something about it. I go and pick up trash in my neighborhood
Starting point is 00:28:14 park like three times a month. Uh, I try to do, I do try to do my part. Um, anyway, so I get home feeling a little dejected and pretty sore and bummed that i gotta go hide in my library next to my bed where i have like one inch to move around uh because i'm definitely not feeling like a cool guy that wants to hang out in his house uh around a bunch of way cooler dudes who are doing hard work that i'm paying him to do while i fucking hide like a troll uh and this was on my front door oh huh and then i got a text from Gavin that said, uh, you have a package. So I was like, what? And I went to that.
Starting point is 00:28:50 And then here, so here's, I wanted to get my, I wanted to get the full story. So here's my face. Uh, I want Gavin, I wanted you to see my, my actual reaction. So here's my face. When I realized that you sent me flowers uh and a gold a gold sort of a golden package i was like i was like what yeah that's me what so then i open it up and there's a fucking i won't show you the inside of the card because it's very personal uh well it's not that personal but it sounds cooler if i say that. There's a card that says, F*** Face Guilt Basket,
Starting point is 00:29:25 which I thought was really sweet. I thought it was really, really, really sweet. And then inside of it was not just the flowers, the roses and stuff. Gavin and Meg also got us Tiff's Treats, which is a local awesome cookie company that everybody
Starting point is 00:29:41 loves. And my favorite ice cream, Cookie Two-Step, Blue Bell Cookie Two-Step. I couldn't believe you remembered and you got my favorite ice cream. I fucking love you for that. I also, the Tiff's Treats came with a little jar of milk and I made sure to remove that
Starting point is 00:29:58 because you hate it. Thank you, buddy. Wow. I do hate milk. And then I realized that the ice cream and the cookies were sitting on top of something and I thought it was just like padding but I took the rest of the box apart and they were hiding this which I guess was the
Starting point is 00:30:13 real gift you gave Jeff a PS5 cause you missed your dinner? Gavin bought me a PS5 I haven't owned a PlayStation since the PS2! I can't believe it! I'm so excited! Look, I thought I would hit the guilt basket
Starting point is 00:30:32 hard. I thought I'd go all out. Nick said to you, Gavin, do you want to go to dinner? I thought, I don't want you to not invite me to dinner again because my integrity is falling apart. so here's a little make good and also this was a double whammy for me because i remember a time obviously you're not a playstation guy you're a massive xbox guy and i remember a time when bernie gave you a ps3
Starting point is 00:30:57 and you were annoyed like back in the day like maybe like 14 years ago or something you just had a ps3 on your desk you're like what and you were like maybe like 14 years ago or something you just had a ps3 on your desk you like what and you were like annoyed like moving it unplugging it so i thought i wonder if you have the same reaction to a ps5 no admit the world to me actually here's my actual reaction i took another photo after the ps5 that's the that's my final photo that's my that's my ps5 face no it's fucking it's incredibly sweet. I needed it. I love it. I've thought about buying one a few times because people keep telling me
Starting point is 00:31:29 that I specifically would love Horizon Zero Dawn and Horizon Forbidden West or whatever. And then you fucking, you got it for me. And now like, dude, I was actually thinking like, I'm never going to be a streamer. But if I ever was, I was trying to figure out what my angle would be. And I thought like maybe my be a streamer, but if I ever was, I was trying to figure out what my angle would be, and I thought, like, maybe my streaming angle
Starting point is 00:31:47 could be, I play all the PlayStation games that I've never played. Uncharted, God of War, fucking, I don't know, there's probably others.
Starting point is 00:31:55 The Spider-Man game everybody loved. What other big Sony properties are there? Gran Turismo, I guess. Ghost of Tsushima, yeah,
Starting point is 00:32:03 everybody loves that game. And, now I have access Rosamond, I guess. Ghost of Tsushima. Yeah, everybody loves that game. Now I have access to all this. You've opened my world up, Gavin. I thank you so much. I really appreciate it. You have no idea how much it means to me. Hey, you're welcome. It's incredibly generous.
Starting point is 00:32:19 This is a wonderful thing. I think my favorite part of it is if you look at the first photo, where it is on the doorstep, it kind of looks like they used a tablecloth from a restaurant. Like it really ties it all together. Like the bagginess of it. I just see tablecloth from it all.
Starting point is 00:32:35 It works perfectly. I don't know. You don't really get from these pictures is the fact that on the way to deliver it, uh, Meg took quite a harsh left turn and it all went flying across the car and all the water from the flowers spilled across all of her back seats
Starting point is 00:32:50 and on the PlayStation. So you may need to top up that vase. I'll definitely top up the vase. Other than that, I think it all got there in one piece. That's fantastic. Did she make a harsh left turn to dodge the dude who wrecked his bicycle?
Starting point is 00:33:04 And I think this works for you because you're the first recipient of my guilt basket. And it also works for me in that I've now set that as a standard for me missing an event. And I don't want to have to go through buying all this shit every time. Keep me on my toes. Keep me on time and keep me in attendance. Well, here's what I can recommend to anybody who listens to this podcast. Make every opportunity you can to make plans with Gavin. At all.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Every opportunity you have, make plans with Gavin. And don't be one of those people who nags him and reminds him. I actually thought on Saturday in the middle of the day, I thought, I just sent Gavin a text like, can't wait for tonight. You know, looking forward to hanging out. And I thought, nah, that's lame. And it turns out it was lame
Starting point is 00:33:49 because it got me a PS5. And I figured if you did, if it'll just sit and rot behind your TV, you could just give it to Billy or give it to somebody you like. No, dude, I'm gonna play the dicks out of it.
Starting point is 00:33:58 Are you kidding? Thank you so much. That's awesome. I actually, I made a friend recently who is a PlayStation gamer and was like, we can play games together.
Starting point is 00:34:05 And I was like, yeah, but I don't know PlayStation. Now I can play video games with him. That's perfect. What's holding you back from the ultimate gaming experience? Is it the hundreds of dollars it costs for your setup? Or are you the busy on the go type with only minutes to spare? Level up your game with Backbone, the universal gaming essential that instantly enhances your gaming experience on mobile. Backbone just released a PlayStation edition of their beloved Backbone 1.
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Starting point is 00:37:14 What's changed? The internet. Think about everything you've browsed, searched for, watched, or tweeted. Now imagine all that data being crawled through, collected, and aggregated by third parties into a permanent public record your record having your private life exposed for others to see what was once something only celebrities worried about but in an era where everyone is online everyone is a public figure to keep my data private when i go online i turn to express vpn did you know there are hundreds of data brokers out there whose sole business is to buy and sell your data?
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Starting point is 00:38:45 Visit expressvpn.com slash face and get three extra months for free. That is expressvpn.com slash face, E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N.com slash face. Go to expressvpn.com slash face to learn more. Well, you're not the only one who has taken a fall recently, Jeff. Oh my God. I fell, and I'm so disappointed.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Do we have a new percentage? No, we're good. Everything is fine. It's the photo. I also have a photo or two I'd like to share. Please. As stated previously, my chair had been broken for months, and I continued to use it out of the hope that it would completely collapse while we were recording at one point.
Starting point is 00:39:29 It finally hit its last legs last night. It got to the point where the front part of it was constantly tilted forward. It was so uncomfortable to sit in, but I was just holding out. I was hoping. And last night, I dropped something off my desk, and I went to pick it up and it snapped again on the forward angle and I tried to recover by going middle you know like Tony Hawk games when you're grinding and you have the balance meter that you're trying to do it was as soon as I got back to the middle it immediately shot left and it dumped me so hard. I hit the ground so hard. It is the
Starting point is 00:40:06 most broken chair. It looks like an amusement park ride. I'm going to put a photo in the discord right now of the chair. This is the natural position of the chair for this part. It looks like a chair trying to impersonate somebody on like a Disney ride
Starting point is 00:40:22 with their hands up like it's going sideways around the turn with the thing i ate shit and i was so disappointed that it was not on the show i had been hoping so this was after you talked about it breaking last time this has happened yes this was that was after it was broken but i was still making it work and now i had to go buy a new chair because i cannot did it dump you off? It dumped me yesterday. Oh, okay. Last night.
Starting point is 00:40:47 That would have been great if you and Jeff hit the ground at the same time. Did it dump you at like 7 p.m. or did it dump you at like 3 in the morning? It dumped me at like 7 p.m. It wasn't like early, early. Yeah. Was it loud enough to alert neighbors? Oh, it was so loud.
Starting point is 00:41:02 I'm sure they were alerted. Yeah, for sure. It was louder than i think the sushi fall the impact was was huge how long did you have to lay on the ground before you decided you could move i laid on the ground for like two seconds in shock and then i laughed really hard for about five seconds and then i just laid there for probably another minute processing how broken the chair was it's fantastic I'm really sad that we missed it
Starting point is 00:41:30 all the furniture in your room just jumping like half an inch so that was my my night that's a new addition to people if they want to update the drawing of your room yeah I also I feel like I should wrap up the end cap thing.
Starting point is 00:41:49 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please, please, please. Did we determine whether they were actually end caps? So that's, we got a whole lot to go through. So I completed the challenge and it was really boring and I feel bad about that. I wish it was more exciting. I just ended up eating chicken and like pasta for a week. It wasn't,
Starting point is 00:42:05 it was dull. I got incredibly lucky, but the, the real point of contention, cause I was sick. I couldn't go get it myself was, did my mom understand what end caps were based off the photos? There was a lot of disagreement.
Starting point is 00:42:17 I felt confident, but as we stated, I have salad cream in my DNA. You never know. Can't be confident. I have salad cream in my DNA. You never know. Can't be confident.
Starting point is 00:42:30 So I went grocery shopping yesterday to review the end cap situation. I'm going to take I'm going to take. Should I post the ones that were up for dispute last time as a refresher? Yeah, definitely. So these these were the two. There are three of them, but these are the two I haven't. I need to find because when I went back, I realized how lucky I was. When I went the first time, there were chickens in the end caps.
Starting point is 00:42:52 And that was mainly what I went off of. When I went yesterday, everything was different in the end caps. And I don't think I would have been able to do it if I started this week. Wow. So those were some of the end caps that you guys didn't think were end caps. Here is an alternate view of the end caps that you guys didn't think were end caps. Here is an alternate view of said end caps. As you can see, very clearly end caps. Oh my god. Edges of their row.
Starting point is 00:43:13 Now, the last one. Wow. They're wider than the aisle. They're very wide. They're huge. You have end caps that are literally wider than the aisles. It's like this grocery store was tailor-made for this challenge. They've
Starting point is 00:43:27 almost made an aisle that runs the other way down the store because they're so wide. I've never seen anything like this in my life. Yeah, they're fucking massive. And the other one that was up for debate was this, which looks horrendous. Yeah, it's gross. Since they moved everything, I couldn't find that specific one.
Starting point is 00:43:44 I remember there's a state. Next time I go in there, I couldn't find that specific one. I remember there's a state. Next time I go in there, I'll verify the state. I'll find it because of the state. But I feel confident in saying that I stuck with the rules. Those are clearly in caps. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:54 I did it. I just got super lucky with the chicken. I'm really sorry I doubted your mom. She clearly shopped for you in these giant, a Guinness world record beating in caps. I have never been in a
Starting point is 00:44:10 store in my life more suitable for this challenge. Oh, it's perfect. As I'm seeing here. I don't think it's possible in an HEB. In a Texas supermarket, I don't think there's an... Yeah. That's like three in caps put together. Just the one where the milk are. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:25 And there are definitely narrow ones, but those are like, I get the confusion. It's also everything you need. Like it really is everything you need. There's milk. There's cheese. There's eggs. There's fucking chicken.
Starting point is 00:44:36 There's coffee stuff. Like that's a whole week's worth of food. Yeah. I got super lucky. Mac and cheese. I wish it was harder. Because it's not, it wasn't funny, which was the cool of it. I was disappointed.
Starting point is 00:44:48 It's the first challenge I've done where I was disappointed in doing it. It was kind of reminiscent of doing the chicken dinner challenge with PUBG. It was just a lot of chicken. That was bland, because I couldn't put anything on it. Okay, you have to live for a week, but you can only shop at Incaps in a 7-Eleven. Oh, God. The sandwiches? The 7-Eleven. Oh, God. The sandwiches, the 7-Eleven sandwiches. It's like Snickers and fucking like Sourheads
Starting point is 00:45:12 and shit like that. I also need to say that last night, sometimes the night before we record these, I'll go through our Discord chat and I'll just kind of think about what we last talked about and look at the images. I looked at the drawing I did of the end caps last night and just went, holy fuck, was that bad.
Starting point is 00:45:31 That was what a shit drawing. Having some time away from that and looking at it, I think I delivered the message of it, but wow, did that suck. I mean, you had COVID, though. I did. I was sick. I was out of it. I was definitely not in the best place. But yeah, it was funny looking at it last night going, holy shit. I did not realize how ugly this is.
Starting point is 00:45:53 This is terrible. But that's the end caps. Well, speaking of the chat, I've got an update of my own based on what was in there last week. I also have an update. I'd love to hear yours. Let me just give it a little paste. Hope it's not too powerful. I love this.
Starting point is 00:46:08 This is like the show and tell episode. It is. Yeah, it's a good recap. I'm interested to see if Gavin and I both have an update on the same thing because I also, there's another thing that was very contentious in the past
Starting point is 00:46:18 that, oh no. Put the puzzle back together. It looks like a hockey player's teeth like the front of their teeth except there's one too many teeth uh that's fucking flawless dude uh can i just say i was thinking about this i was thinking about this after i was like man i was genuinely offering to help him and he really doesn't seem to want my help with this. I guess he's got it. Either he doesn't want to hang out or he's just like, fuck you.
Starting point is 00:46:48 I don't think you'll do a good job. Pretty confident I would have done a better job. And I don't know where that missing bit is. Yeah, you've attached all the pieces back to the wall. Yeah, and you're missing a chunk. Either the guy took it for reference or it's fallen inside. Gavin's got a hockey
Starting point is 00:47:06 feet ball. That's the funniest fucking thing. Did you... Was it like when you do a puzzle and you realize there's one piece missing at the end? Like how far into this process did you realize that? It was very confusing. It was really throwing me for a while. I could not figure out that middle section. So what's your plan
Starting point is 00:47:24 now? Are you just gonna cut more of the wall or how what is the repair strategy uh could go for tape yeah yeah maybe you should just put like the no scrumping sign over that hole and just pretend it doesn't exist if you wanted to get professionally fixed i got there's dudes in my house right now that do this for a living. I'm more than happy to share their information with you. The tattooed dudes. We'll figure something out. I genuinely forgot about the wall. What a shitty job that person did.
Starting point is 00:47:55 That's unbelievable. And then whoever did the follow-up patchwork. If you would have told me that was their fix to it, Gavin, I would have believed it. That seems equal with the job they did. It's the same energy. It's the same exact energy.
Starting point is 00:48:13 Well, I had another point of contention, I guess, to just wrap up the last of the wrap up, at least from my end. We got into a real, there's a real argument between extra medium. We had recently.
Starting point is 00:48:24 Yeah. Does it exist? Where is it on the scale scale i mean jeff has the clothing line but i don't feel like any of us are true experts in the fashion industry so i took it upon myself to see if we could get a ruling from maybe a more established company or brand so i reached out to essentially every large fashion fashion brand i could from supreme to to gucci uh prada nike reebok indeed all of them i reached out to all of them i sent out over 10 emails some of them i even attached your drawing gavin and i will say that i got a zero percent response rate on ones in which i attached your diagram of your size chart. But I did receive two replies.
Starting point is 00:49:11 Two different companies. I will post in the chat right now and then I will read the responses and who they're from. Our first reply comes from Ralph Lauren. Dear Andrew, thank you for contacting RalphLauren.com customer assistance. We apologize, however, because extra medium is not a size we offer. We are unable to advise how it would
Starting point is 00:49:33 fit. If you need further assistance, please don't hesitate to contact us. Sincerely, Kimberly. Do they think you were specifically asking about their products? Nobody wanted to take ownership of the responses. They were like, hypothetically, if we did that, no one wanted to do a general ruling. Kimberly is not having your shit, but she is required by her job to respond to you.
Starting point is 00:49:57 Which is nice because most didn't. But we did get a response from Kimberly. And the next response I think is very fascinating. And if anything, it maybe helps your argument, Gavin. It's from Lacoste. Oh, wow. I got to zoom in on this because it's small. Good afternoon, Andrew.
Starting point is 00:50:13 Thank you for contacting Lacoste. Our size medium does sometimes come in slightly bigger and smaller sizes. S slash M, M, M slash L. So they do have variations of medium. On the item style, such as our, and this is the most insane product description I've ever heard, men's heritage graphic color block zippered
Starting point is 00:50:33 water resistant jacket. That's one thing. As some of our jackets run larger than usual. We hope this information is useful to you. Thank you for shopping at Lacoste. Whether you're shopping online or stopping by one of our boutiques, we look forward to seeing you soon. Kind regards, Jennifer
Starting point is 00:50:48 with a Y. So there's range within the medium. There is apparently range within the medium, which makes your drawing I feel like somewhat valid of the three different areas within medium. Well, I think so. And last week in the merch thread, was it Maxie that was on my side about it?
Starting point is 00:51:04 Yeah, somebody was on your side. Alright, let me look in the merch thread, was it Maxi that was on my side about it? Yeah, somebody was on your side. Oh, let me look in the merch chat. Eric was getting really, really annoyed in this Slack chat. Because I said, if you were to design shirts, medium size determined. Eric, what was your thought on how that Slack chat went? I didn't like it. Like what? Maxi wrote extra medium is medium.
Starting point is 00:51:30 Medium extra is large. Medium extra. And then Tony pointed out that there is a company called Marine Layer who actually has a size with a name that sits in between medium and large, which is where your head was going, Eric. And they call it Marge. Marge! I don't like Marge. I'm not a fan of that as a name. No, not at all.
Starting point is 00:51:52 That is a bad... That's a bad thing. I will say that I feel like we didn't get any rulings from people in the merch team. Maxi is on the social team and is therefore disqualified yes from any kind of ruling there yeah 100 do you like my uh t-shirt by the way your t-shirt do you like the shirt i'm wearing in this picture this is me right now
Starting point is 00:52:20 that's a nice extra medium fit i'd fine why are you asking i wanted to see what it felt like to wear a shirt between what i asked for and what you gave me and to me that is marge uh-huh and how you gave me. And to me, that is Marge. And how does it feel? A little bit big. Could have done with extra media. Really? I fucking
Starting point is 00:52:54 hate this. I was hoping this wouldn't come up again. And this is going to sound... Listen, I swear I'm not influenced by the PS5 in any way whatsoever. But I was thinking about this in bed over the weekend, and I fucking changed my mind. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:14 I did. I did. And here's why. This is absolutely bullshit. Here's why. No, I'm not happy about it. I'm not happy about it. I'm going to buy you an Xbox Series X and get you back on my team.
Starting point is 00:53:24 No, no, no, no. No, seriously, it has nothing to do with the PlayStation. I had already changed my mind. And here's why. I hate it. I don't like it. I don't like to agree with him. I was much happier on your side, Eric.
Starting point is 00:53:36 But it was way more comfortable and feels smarter to be on your side than his. Trust me. But I started thinking about extra small and how the extra modifies small and the definition of small is tiny. So it should be extra tiny. Extra large. Well, I'm not done.
Starting point is 00:53:52 I'm not done. I'm not done. And on the other end, large does the converse thing. Like the name large connotates big and to make it extra large makes it bigger than the normal large. And then the definition of medium is like in the middle. So the only way for something to be extra in the middle. No. I hate that I agree with him.
Starting point is 00:54:11 You're wrong. I think you want his medium, which is what the word means. It just makes sense. No, it doesn't. I hate it, but it makes sense. My medium is a different medium, so it would have to not be true medium, which would be medium.
Starting point is 00:54:29 It has to be something else by virtue of the name. Nick said Jeff is Swayve, but that was my argument last week, wasn't it? Yes, it was. I think you're just a revolutionary, Gavin, because that is the argument you made last week. Yeah, I just don't think you expressed your arguments well. Oh, I'm terrible at expressing them.
Starting point is 00:54:45 It was your argument last week, because it don't think you expressed your arguments well. Oh, I'm terrible at expressing them. It was your argument last week. Because it's so funny you say that, Jeff. I had the same exact experience with the same exact thought process. Or I wasn't happy about it. But I had to concede to myself that what Gavin is saying, to an extent, I think actually does make sense. And we're still too far ahead on recordings to see what the audience thinks. Because the big discussion hasn't really come out yet. But I'm still too far ahead on recordings to see what the audience thinks because the big discussion hasn't really come out yet. But I'm excited.
Starting point is 00:55:06 Even what you just said, Gavin, came to my head of like, I know you made this argument at the time, but it was just so shocking. And seeing your diagram, it was just I don't think it really landed. I need to time the process. OK. And really consider a word to define. Like, no, it can't. You're you guys are saying that medium is now something else you're so if i were to get a medium shirt it wouldn't be extra medium which is the most medium
Starting point is 00:55:33 i mean according to the cost there's like sometimes maybe three different variants of that but that's not extra medium gavin who's saying that extra medium is the most medium. Well, I'm saying that their middle-sized medium would be the extra medium. There's not. Oh, my God. Their middle-sized medium is medium. But you're putting – so medium and extra medium are the same? Look, if we –
Starting point is 00:56:01 No, I think extra medium would be more medium than medium. Yeah, I agree. There's a range of medium. Medium is no longer the middle. It's like a middle-ish range, and then extra medium is more dialed in. Isn't there a range, though, of small to large? Like, there's large could...
Starting point is 00:56:16 It has a large factor, right? Like, there's different variations of what large could be. Why couldn't there be a range of where medium is? There can be. And if extra medium is a thing, it's bigger than medium. Nick's got it. He says medium's rarely perfectly between small and large.
Starting point is 00:56:32 I think that there's a range. So an extra medium would be like pinpointed, laser-focused, scientifically the most medium a medium could be. I'll be honest, I didn't see it going that way for you, Eric. No. I didn't either. It's because I'm right and everyone else is wrong. So I also didn't see it going this way.
Starting point is 00:56:51 I I'm sorry, Eric. I really would rather be on your side. I just, I can't deny the fact that he, he gets into your brain and then it just fucking Merriam Webster's dictionary medium, something that is in the middle position as in size.
Starting point is 00:57:04 So what you're saying is that extra medium is the most medium, so medium is no longer the middle. No, no, it's the middle. The middle of the middle. But what you did, Eric, you gave me a large. Which is what I would do. which is what I would do. When asked for extra medium, when asked for extra medium,
Starting point is 00:57:29 something that doesn't fucking exist, I automatically go to large. Yeah. All of this could have been avoided, Gavin, if you just would have asked for a march. Why did you ask for a march? It sounds like a march is too much medium for him. It's a little bit too big. Speaking of which,
Starting point is 00:57:50 if you want to see Gavin in his extra medium, you can watch the first episode of Does It Do? premiering on the Rooster Teeth and the F*** Face YouTube channel on September 2nd. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:58:05 I had no idea what the day was. I was really hoping Eric would just drop it. By the time this is out, the first episode will be out, but the second episode will be coming out right afterward. I think the 8th or 9th. So we'll have the first two episodes of our pilot, and then we'll get back in the studio and do a lot more. I think we walked out of that recording going,
Starting point is 00:58:26 oh, we can do like two seasons of the show in a day. We definitely did. I will say I've watched the first episode about 20 times now, and I think it's a good episode. I think we've got good edits. I think episode two is going to be way better. I just want to say,
Starting point is 00:58:41 I'm clearly the worst part of episode one. I will get better audience Gavin's great It's part of the process Very mediocre at it Episode two I'm really looking forward to There's a teaser trailer at the end of one that I'm really jazzed about Go ahead
Starting point is 00:58:59 No you Alright fuck both of you When do we get to record again? Yeah, that's a great question, Gavin. When when are you available again? I'm available today. OK, so that doesn't fucking help. So when are you available again?
Starting point is 00:59:18 I'm available. It's like 4 p.m. I'm available today. Eric, get the boys together. Tell them they're staying at work late tonight. Gavin's ready. No, I'm available today. Eric, get the boys together. Tell them they're staying at work late tonight. Gavin's ready. No, I'm also available next week if you want to do two. Yes.
Starting point is 00:59:31 What? You're available next week? Oh, boy. Okay. Let me see if I can. Oh, man. I don't have anything ordered. Like, I don't.
Starting point is 00:59:38 Okay. I could try. Yeah, fuck. All right. Oh, my God. Eric did not know how to handle Gavin being... No, 100%. Oh, because I thought it was two weeks out at least.
Starting point is 00:59:51 Oh, I thought we were going post-Labor Day. I really did not think it was going to be like, yeah, next week. Had no idea. That might be a double first. I've never seen Eric stymied for a response to not know how to handle it. And I've never, I've never seen Eric like stymied for a response to not know how to handle it and I've never I've never
Starting point is 01:00:07 seen Gavin come out of the gate and be like yeah I almost think you didn't want me to be available next week I thought you were unavailable next week and then we would be back sometime after Labor Day I mean next week is I mean we could do it
Starting point is 01:00:24 then hang on hang on hang on i don't like this answer what were you gonna say when you were going to put caveats on it well i'll be honest uh my my ass and legs still hurt from what i fell over last time i'd say i'd say the left of my pelvis is at like 70% still. And I spent the last week at maybe like 50. Next week, I'm opening this up. If you want to go after Labor Day, I'll probably be at 100%. I mean, we have our first...
Starting point is 01:00:57 Not for long, you won't. We have our first office day next week. Oh, yeah, we do. Yeah. That's exciting. I gotta say, I forgot how much and how hard you ate shit in that
Starting point is 01:01:12 recording session until I started watching the episode. Dude, the one that hurt was in episode two, and I must have trapped a nerve or something because I went every night, and the reason I'm like forgetting shit all over the place, I ain't been sleeping good since that fall. My leg,
Starting point is 01:01:27 I can't lie on one side because it crushes my leg bone into my pelvis, which hurts. And if I go on the other side, my leg falls asleep and starts tingling at like 3am. And I was about to go to the doctor, but it's actually stopped doing that. I think I trapped a nerve or something. I smashed something.
Starting point is 01:01:44 I hit hard. That's terrible. think I trapped a nerve or something. I smashed something. I hit hard. You did. That's terrible. And I've been having shit sleep. Oh, man. The funny thing about it, too, is that at no point in any of those episodes did you need to eat shit.
Starting point is 01:01:59 No, that's the whole point. It was completely pointless. You kicked the fucking tv with your foot six feet in the air i was so surprised i had forgotten that happened i was so caught off guard in the episode when it happened i was it was like one of i think the third night i was up at three because i had to stand up and sort of get the blood back into my leg and i was thinking all these different things like oh you know i've wrecked my leg permanently I've trapped a nerve I've got a blood clot I'm gonna die I and I was just like I just need to settle down and stop jumping all around I'm in my mid-30s I've got to pack it in and then
Starting point is 01:02:34 the the pain eventually went away and I was like oh I'm excited for the next one I didn't learn anything dude I've been having that conversation I've been having that conversation. I've been having that conversation with myself for 17 years. It's pointless. And here I am taking pictures of my bruises to send you today. It's just who you are, bud. Well, let's try to film it next week if we can. Failing that, are you available the following week? I think you're not, are you?
Starting point is 01:03:03 I think I'm. Well, anyway, we don't need to turn this into a whole supplemental scheduling episode. As a matter of fact, we should probably wrap up. We wrapped up a lot today, I feel like.
Starting point is 01:03:11 We did. That was action-packed. Tied up a lot of loose ends. It was. Everybody got to share some photos. I was... I'll be honest,
Starting point is 01:03:19 I had forgotten about the hockey tee thing and it was great to see. It was really great to see the resolution of that and i hope you don't change it i hope that that's it is so incongruous with the rest of your house i love it it's so fucking awesome and andrew i'm glad you're feeling better and uh we should probably also mention uh we did not record monkey movie. I recognize that we were very excited. We were talking about it.
Starting point is 01:03:47 We were going to do it. It was a big thing. I think we talked about it a lot in the episode. And then I just don't want the audience to be like, where the fuck? Why aren't they talking about it? We had unfortunate scheduling conflicts that came up. And so we are still going to record this goddamn monkey movie. This is not a bit where we never do the thing.
Starting point is 01:04:03 We really will. We really will record MVP2. I'm looking into spreadsheets since I have more time. I'm gonna do this right. You're gonna get what you want. I'm looking for the star, right? The star fading. Is that what you wanted? Star wipe or a banana wipe?
Starting point is 01:04:17 Yeah, banana wipe, star wipe. I'm looking at all the wipes. We're gonna get some wipes in there. Sweet. I'm excited. It may come late, but when it comes it's gonna be full of banana wipes. We're going to get some wipes in there. Alright, there you have it. It may come late, but when it comes it's going to be full of banana wipes. Thanks! We meant your grape chips. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:04:34 I'm sorry. I'm sorry Discord cut out so I didn't hear the transition. I'm so sorry. I thought you were jumping in the air and you just slapped me straight back down. I'm so sorry. I was asking if we should make the Grootubes, because we haven't sold the Grootubes.
Starting point is 01:04:52 I know they'll probably be gone by the time this comes out, ideally, but just we're selling them online. We haven't done that before. I can't believe we hadn't already sold them. Yeah, I thought they were going to go on sale right after RTX. I keep thinking we have these conversations, and then I find out that they're still not for sale. So maybe already sold them yeah i thought they were gonna go on sale right after rtx i keep thinking we have these conversations that i find out that they're still not for sale so maybe maybe we sold them i hope we did by this point they're not available or if they're still available you can buy one now roosterteethstore.com i think roosterteethstore.com i don't what you think the
Starting point is 01:05:21 website is i don't i don't know I have no idea I didn't know I thought there was an f11 store.roosterteeth.com you can find my url is way better face needs check them out uh I uh roosterteethstore.com I typed in roosterteethstore.com and it took me to my iTunes library what the hell just happened? I'm loading. Can we end? Oh my god, what the fuck is this? What's happening? It's doing the same thing.
Starting point is 01:05:49 Hacker, hacker, stay away from roosterteethstore.com. Type that in. Store.roosterteeth.com. Do not ignore. It's trying to get me to listen to something. This is insane. Store.roosterteeth.com. Thanks for listening to episode 119 of the F*** Face podcast.
Starting point is 01:06:07 Hope to see you again next time. Goodbye. Boys, let's all go ice down our wounds. Hey guys, Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Andrew's ankles are no longer 100%. What happened to Jeff's car?
Starting point is 01:06:24 At least Jeff has a nice bedroom. It's the go-go-now tattoo. We are due another betting challenge. Canton really wants to play Paw Patrol. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Fakes. We'll see you next time.

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