F**kface - Gavin Sympathy // F**kface vs Predator [148]

Episode Date: April 5, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Gavin's actions, best air food, questions without answers, rocks not rocks draft, scheduling sloppy joe's bingo, Andrew's stolen doorbell, another new Gavin life ha...ck, Burger Queen, the G League, our official partners, we make games out of everything, jack hammering a bean hole, and the St of Beans. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to ffacebits@gmail.com  Sponsored by Honey http://joinhoney.com/face, Better Help http://betterhelp.com/face, and Raycon http://buyraycon.com/face Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma, is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics, groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics. Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation of Beastrin.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice. Your choice, that is. From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills. And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in their weak points, use the terrain and trick, trip, or throw foes off high cliffs or raging waters.
Starting point is 00:01:10 Visit dragonsdogma.com to buy the game and start your epic quest today. That's D-R-A-G-O-N-S-D-O-G-M-A.com to learn more. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Because we're not a baseball podcast, right? We're a baseball adjacent podcast. In the way that Andrew likes baseball culture, that is the way that we're a baseball podcast. 100%. Yep. Gavin was early, by the way. Andrew likes baseball culture, that is the way that we're a baseball podcast. 100%.
Starting point is 00:01:45 Yep. Gavin was early, by the way. 148. What do you mean? I heard you enter. I looked at the time. 259. But go ahead.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Episode 148. No, no, no. Wait a second. Wait a second. You heard it, and then you looked up, and you saw the time was one minute early? Or you heard it, and then it flipped when you looked? No, no.
Starting point is 00:02:04 I heard it. I looked down. It said 259. And then then two seconds later it flipped to three o'clock i don't know this is episode 148 it's physically impossible for me to be early i clicked at three and that is based on the world's time i think if you threw a challenge flag down gavin you might be in the right here it would be a challengeable play in my opinion it would be in the right here. It would be a challengeable play, in my opinion. It would be worth reviewing. How the fuck do we review it? How do we review it? We can't review it, but I'm saying if it was like a football
Starting point is 00:02:32 game and he could throw a challenge flag and we did review it, I think he would be in the right. Nick is saying there's evidence in Craig. That's all I'm saying. He could be right. If he started at 258, it is what it is. I'm just saying when you know, he could be right. If he started at 258, it is what it is. I'm just saying when he joined,
Starting point is 00:02:46 it was, it's, it is what it is. I think those are such dumb rules. Like the, uh, delay a game. Oh shit.
Starting point is 00:02:54 Challenge flag worked. Nick weighs in. I joined two seconds after two, wait, two minutes after 258. Is that what I say? Yeah. It's saying you, it's saying you joined at three minutes and five-tenths of a second
Starting point is 00:03:11 or something. So I joined at three o'clock and 0.03 seconds. Do we all agree on that? 0.03 seconds? I've agreed this entire way. Oh, no, that is second. Wait, what?
Starting point is 00:03:26 You're losing yourself. You're right, Gavin. You're fine. Don't be so specific. You won. Just continue. You're going to make it worse. You went one step too far.
Starting point is 00:03:33 You were three o'clock and five one hundredths of a second, I think. What? Well, okay. So five seconds. Yeah. Eric, how do you feel?
Starting point is 00:03:44 I mean, you're wrong, but it's fine. It doesn't matter. Maybe I'm wrong. What do you mean? I watched it happen. I'm just? Five seconds. Yeah. Eric, how do you feel? I mean, you're wrong, but it's fine. It doesn't matter. What do you mean I'm wrong? What do you mean? I watched it happen. I'm just letting you know what happened. You watched it where?
Starting point is 00:03:52 On my computer. And this is a work computer, so it can't be wrong. I will say, I mean, how do we know Craig's not wrong? That's what I'm saying. I don't trust his little bare face. That's it. Oh, man. what I'm saying I don't trust his little bare face that's oh man the audience is gonna be mad because they don't like
Starting point is 00:04:09 it when we make too much fun of Gavin there I don't think we're made what do you mean isn't that what's isn't that what's made my living over the last 10 years I've been saying that
Starting point is 00:04:17 I've been reading comments and say we've been going too hard on Gavin lately with the feet stuff and the other stuff so it's not funny yeah we've clearly going too hard it's. We're clearly serious
Starting point is 00:04:26 and taking out some real frustrations. I remember in Minecraft, I had to, and I really appreciate the audience for having my back a lot of the time, but I had to go hard asshole for a while because I was getting sympathy for stuff that I didn't deserve. Like the audience was very defensive of me.
Starting point is 00:04:43 For example, you remember when I built that little trophy room in a Let's Build and then I was hoping people would find it and make fun of me for it. I was just doing it as like a dumb bit. Yeah. But I think a lot of the audience thought
Starting point is 00:04:54 that that was like my little shrine to my wins and I really liked it. And I was genuinely sad when everyone found it and made fun of it. But I really just built it so it could be found. I built it as like a laughable thing but everyone everyone was really slaying everyone else i was like no no don't worry it's oh that's exactly what i intended and then i just had to be like more of a prick to people in videos so people would feel less sorry for me i think with the exception of the indignity that i suffered in the tater tot fiasco, everything
Starting point is 00:05:26 ever said has been comedy and for fun in the history of this podcast. We have to please. We do. Can I ask a random question I've been thinking about? Yeah, real fast. Before you do that, hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey, and I believe you're listening to the 148th episode of this podcast. It has been a F*** Face-y day from start to finish.
Starting point is 00:05:56 What's your question, Andrew? Is there a food that tastes better with air in it than corn? I think corn might be the number one air food. What did you just say oh okay so think about like the cheeto puff and the cheeto crunch the difference between the products is air from what i can tell it's airy they try to do the same with potatoes there's like the potato chip poppables i think those suck i just don't think those are good. I think air inflates corn, and I can't think of any other food that is enhanced by air. Eric hit a heavy hitter in the text chat.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Cotton candy? Is that an air? Yeah, it is. It is very airy. Yeah, I'm not going to argue that. You're not putting air into it. But there's no, what do you mean? I mean, it's just like strings of sugar, right?
Starting point is 00:06:43 There's no air in the sugar. It's just spaced out sugar. Oh, here's the difference. Here's the thing. Gavin, what do you call cotton candy? Candy floss? Yeah, that's, I think, why there's a miscommunication here. This is like an international issue.
Starting point is 00:07:05 I kind of went through the same hurdle, Gavin, but if cotton candy is like a cloud, clouds belong in the sky, they require air, it connects, it makes sense. Cotton candy is very air-like. A little bit of it would float for a second if you threw it up. Yeah, but you're saying there's something
Starting point is 00:07:19 that's in the air, requires air in it? No, it's just... It's in the air because it's got a lot of air in it. But there's air in the sky no matter what. A cloud is moisture. But when you see it in the air, you think of an air-based thing. I think of air when I see stuff up there. Need some air for that plane.
Starting point is 00:07:36 A plane is air? Yeah, need some air. There's some air assist in that plane. Well, it's metal or whatever they make plane out of. Yeah, but there's air assisting. I think of the air. When I think of air, I think of things in that plane. Well, it's metal or whatever they make a plane out of. Yeah, but there's air assisting. I think of the air. When I think of air, I think of things in the sky. When I think of things in the sky, I think of clouds, cotton candy is essentially a clap.
Starting point is 00:07:52 What's the sneakiest thing in the air? Oh, falcon. Falcon. You think a falcon is? Yeah, it probably is. Fish. Is that a sign out yet? A flying fish? No, that is sneaky. I think they're having to rework it
Starting point is 00:08:06 a little bit because yeah it's more expensive to make a vertical sign than a square sign recently eric's like hey can we make this and like yeah then they'll come back and be like okay well to make a profit on that we need to sell that like 55 it's like oh yeah we're gonna rework it to make us a square sign it'll be much more cost effective yeah well to sell that like 55 dollars it's like oh yeah we're gonna rework it to make us a square sign it'll be much more cost effective you know they said that like it was cheaper in a different shape it made me wonder what's the cheapest shape what is the least
Starting point is 00:08:34 valuable of the shapes what is the most expensive shape this whole episode has been questions with no answers this is making me insane we're like for one. What are you talking about? Is it that every edge adds another cost?
Starting point is 00:08:50 Is it like the more edges? Because technically a circle is one edge, but also it's loads. Like if you had something with 30 edges, or 30 sides, I mean, then that's close to a circle. Yeah. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:09:04 It just didn't make me think about it. Hey, Andrew. Yes. Would Rice Krispies count? Oh, yeah. That's a good. There's some air in that. That's absolutely.
Starting point is 00:09:14 Puffed rice, right? It's in the name. Puffed rice. Yeah, absolutely. That's a great one. I'm going to throw my hat in the Rice Krispies ring. So are we going to have like a puffed snake draft? No.
Starting point is 00:09:25 No. No. Should we get into that? We have a whole other snake draft that Andrew wants to do. I think this is the most ridiculous bit that is actually going to happen. Why? I cannot get behind this. Why? It's so stupid.
Starting point is 00:09:40 It's so dumb. It's because you're not confident in your draft list. It's not even something we can watch. I have such a strong draft list. Why do we need to watch it? It's the conversation. We don't fucking watch this podcast. It's no different.
Starting point is 00:09:55 What are you talking about? I mean, some people do. There are photos. We have a YouTube. Some people do watch the podcast, but you do not. And that has never been a concern. What are you talking about? Andrew, please don't be mean to Gavin. I'm not being mean to Gavin. I'm been a concern what are you talking about please don't be mean to gavin i'm not being mean to gavin i'm just asking what are you talking about
Starting point is 00:10:09 nah he's got a real good point though that was a dumb thing to say uh well the other one was like video based right we could all watch a thing yeah but they didn't see the audience didn't get the videos what are you talking about at least they can go and watch them with this you're gonna just say you gotta explain yeah but they'll have their own opinions it's not gonna be as long What are you talking about? At least they can go and watch them with this. You're going to just say... Yeah, but they'll have their own opinions. It's not going to be as long. It's not going to be as long as the other one, probably. I don't know. This might be more contentious.
Starting point is 00:10:34 Andrew, what do you want to follow up the wildly successful Fools draft with? Give it the real name. I'm now nervous. I don't know what the Fool name is. The Rocks without Rocks draft? The Rocks that are not Rocks draft? Rocks not Rocks draft. Rocks not Rocks draft. the well i'm now i'm nervous i don't know what the full name is the rocks without rocks draft the rocks that are not rocks draft rocks not rocks draft rocks not rocks draft yes so it's things that are rock but are not actually rock so like the rock is a rock that is not a rock
Starting point is 00:10:56 that would be draft eligible but diorite that's off the table that's not a yeah that's not draft eligible that's just a rock i thought i had the best one of all time which was the moon but it's not draftable rock i just i think the rock should be in the name of the thing that you're picking moon that's just a personal yeah but then that's just a rock that's a rock that's just you've just picked the rock at this point it's just a rock on vacation from another place so we're gonna all pick four rocks that aren't rocks exactly and then there's gonna be teams and then the audience is gonna decide who wins nick won the first one by a landslide so i think we'll let nick make the draft order and then we'll just go on from there eric said don't pick a rock moon rock to be fair eric he didn't say rocks that weren't rocks at first.
Starting point is 00:11:47 He just said rock drop. Once it becomes a rock, it is no longer eligible. Right, but here's the thing. With Andrew, I think we always know there's a thinly veiled twist coming right behind whatever the initial ask is. So I will side with you. I thought Moon was a good pick until I saw where the rest of this was going, and then I thought Moon was a bad pick. But you missed a big rock.
Starting point is 00:12:10 I will say the other bit of knowledge that I got, because Nick, I guess you're hearing this for the first time, so we'll need you to get four, or probably a larger list, just so you have backups in case one of your draft picks gets selected. But we're going to need you to get rocks that aren't rocks. Like you said, pop rocks. Like, you said
Starting point is 00:12:26 pop rocks. That's a great example of one. Pet rock doesn't count, though. I tried over and over again with Andrew in text, and he is not going to let me on pet rock. To be clear, I initially argued it. But you put eyeballs on it, it becomes a person. Hang on.
Starting point is 00:12:42 So if I put eyeballs on Gavin's moon rock, it would be eligible moon with eyes that's my pick let me put it this way if you take the eyes off of duane johnson he's just a rock what what about if you took the eyes off of duane johnson while playing the scorpion king is he still just a rock or is he scorpion that's a good question at one point i asked andrew the the rock would the rock duane johnson be different from the rock alcatraz the nickname for alcatraz but then andrew started talking about The Rock the Movie, which is about the rock Alcatraz. So are there three rocks that we
Starting point is 00:13:28 can get? If Dwayne Johnson was in The Rock the Movie, would that be a triple threat rock? It would be. It would be a triple threat rock. I think you could draft Alcatraz. Can you draft Dwayne the Rock Johnson and then also draft the television show The Young Rock?
Starting point is 00:13:43 Yeah, you could Rock. Oh. Yeah, you could. Absolutely. Different things. What if I put eyes on Alcatraz? I just said you could draft Alcatraz as is, I feel. Okay. Hang on.
Starting point is 00:13:58 You can draft Alcatraz, but you can't draft the moon? It's a... Well, it's not... It's different. If the moon was nicknamed The Rock, then I think it might be in, right? I don't think Alcatraz is made of rock. Like, if you bring off if the moon was nicknamed the rock that I think it might be in right I don't think Alcatraz is made of rock like if you if you broke off let's say
Starting point is 00:14:10 what are you talking about what are islands made of why do you think they call it the rock well I thought we were talking about the building itself not the island oh he's just referring to the prison on the island yeah I thought we were talking about not the island that's the disconnect.
Starting point is 00:14:25 Isn't it called Alcatraz Island? I just assumed that's what the prison was called. I didn't know what the island was called. I actually don't know. I just assumed the prison was Alcatraz and the island was whatever. Who cares? It's a prison.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Does the island have a name? It's called Alcatraz Island. Okay, and what's the prison called Alcatraz Federal Penitentiary yeah so it's that's that's a fair simply known as Alcatraz or the rock yeah so that counts yeah it's totally fine
Starting point is 00:14:55 if you're referring to the penitentiary referring to the penitentiary the confidence that you guys said Alcatraz the prison was made out of rock was mind-boggling to me. As somebody who didn't understand the disconnect, I was like, what are you saying? An entire rock prison? They made a whole prison out of rock.
Starting point is 00:15:13 I mean, is a brick a rock? Now this is going to get into a semantics thing. It's like, yeah. I don't know why. Also, we're going to argue about this and you're not going to pick it. So I don't know. We could just move on. I don't think a brick would be a rock but i think a cinder block might be cinder block is very rocky when you break it it does feel like but a brick is just is just fired clay and mud right is is clay ever a
Starting point is 00:15:38 rock or is it always mud like naturally i would consider it a mud but i don't know naturally how about this we delete this recording and start again. Why? This is the dumbest conversation we've ever had on this podcast. I don't think so. I think you're just very anti-rock for some reason. I just can't believe this is our next draft. I can't believe we're going from falls to rock.
Starting point is 00:16:00 Oh, shit. Clay is a rock. Really? Okay. Well, then clay is off the board. Clay is a fine-grained, small particle-sized sedimentary rock. Oh shit! So it's like a rock hive mind.
Starting point is 00:16:15 It's like the Borg. Yeah. Clay is like a rock Borg. So is all clay clay? Wait. Would I be able to draft Muhammad Ali? Oh. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:16:30 That's an interesting. Yeah, I don't know. We'd have to think about that. Well, I think we're all here and we could think about it. But we're not drafting clay. Gavin, would you care to weigh in on that? Oh, but clay is a rock. I see what you're saying.
Starting point is 00:16:41 No. No, I don't think. Why? We just established that Clay is a rock. I think the spirit of the thing is that rock is somewhere in the name. Gavin can't have the moon and I can't have Muhammad Ali. Well, you would be drafting Cassius Clay. Right, correct.
Starting point is 00:16:56 Which he then changed his name to Muhammad Ali. So I don't think you would actually get any of Muhammad Ali. You would get up to the point in which he changed his name. So you would get a specific timeline of his life? Yes. I think you would get prior Ali. Hold on. I think there's a cut off. This rules. Nick
Starting point is 00:17:15 Stone called Steve Austin. Yeah! That's uh, I know Stone and Rock, but not, once again I think the spirit of the thing is rock is in the neck. You can have Cassius Clay up until March 6, 1964. Oh, that's pretty good. Those are good years. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:34 Those are pretty good years. Not the best years, though. There's some good stuff. I think it'd be up to him to determine what his best years were. I think if Cassius Clay is on my draft list, I think it looks pretty strong. Interesting. Gavin, do you love this? I'm not like, it's...
Starting point is 00:17:51 I just can't believe, I felt like this would be like the 25th draft. I just can't believe we've gone from full videos to deciding what isn't a rock that isn't a rock. No, but that's not what we're arguing, the best rock that isn't a rock. No, that's not what we're arguing. The best rock is a rock. I also got to say, I know that you were saying it that way
Starting point is 00:18:11 in some sort of a derogatory or defamatory way, but the way you just described it makes me want to do it even more now. It kind of makes me want to do it more too. Like you're selling me on this idea, Gavin. This conversation is selling me on this idea this conversation is it's going to be a great draft I'll be honest
Starting point is 00:18:28 the text version of this conversation was one of the dumbest things I've ever read now one day be in our face book of texts I'm so excited about my list of rocks okay so when are we doing this next office day when's? Next office day. When's the next office day?
Starting point is 00:18:47 I don't know. We have... A few weeks from now? Yeah, we have an office day scheduled for the 7th. Okay. A few weeks. We've got some time. Hey, speaking of that, while we're scheduling,
Starting point is 00:18:58 while we're doing every audience's favorite bits, when do we schedule the Sloppy Joes thing? We should probably put that on the books too. Do we ever confirm that we can legally do that? We're going to figure that part out, but we can get it on the books and then that'll be incentive to get it figured out. And we're doing that live, are we?
Starting point is 00:19:16 I think so. Would we do it live or would we record? We could let people know that we're doing it. Yeah, I think if we're allowed to show the thing, we should have it but yeah as a as like a vod of something people can no longer see i think no no we should definitely the only way we can do this is if people can see this yes yeah okay uh so we need to figure that when we're going to do that and also uh i have one clip i didn't make this clip but uh if this i
Starting point is 00:19:46 feel like this and eric has seen it i think i feel like this explains all of the best of sloppy joes in one one minute clip it takes about 15 seconds to get in but watch watch what goes on here it's called on the sidewalk yeah feel free to explain it as it goes is that some US flag underwear she's on a bicycle wearing US flag short shorts and a shirt that's a football jersey I can't read
Starting point is 00:20:16 the last name but the number is 69 she's got flip flops on on her bike oh oh here we go oh no She's got flip-flops on. On her bike. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:20:25 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:20:26 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:20:26 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:20:27 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:20:27 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:20:27 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:20:29 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:20:29 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 00:20:29 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! She's riding a bike next to the sidewalk. She falls over. She barrels into a couple that's walking down the street. I'd like to point out, as you finish this video,
Starting point is 00:20:51 at no point does she ever turn around and apologize to those people or acknowledge their existence at all. Like, she almost broke the lady in the orange shorts leg, and she just, it's like they don't exist to her because she spilled a drink and some stuff. When she bends over, her entire asshole comes out of her shorts. And she just doesn't care. And then she just collects all of her shit and rides away. She also fell over
Starting point is 00:21:11 from what appeared to be nothing. Yes. Yeah. It looked like a glitch in GTA. Her falling over. It didn't look human. It was just on the floor. Everything around it. The people walking away are so befuddled
Starting point is 00:21:26 poor other woman who just she could have got seriously fucking hurt man that's it that's the whole clip then it's just like a family staring at the screen I saw that the other day that somebody else had captured that and I laughed so hard I had to show you guys
Starting point is 00:21:42 yeah she got gentle ghosted that's funny oh this is gonna be great I'm excited for sloppy joes are we doing uh sloppy joes pizzas on the on the day or not let's do it yeah I just I just want any excuse to somehow make face supplemental stuff also a pizza day. Yeah, I'm into that. I can pizza it. I can pizza it. Do you want to try
Starting point is 00:22:07 to do next Friday? I mean, when this comes out, people won't be able to watch it live with us, but I mean, whatever. Do you want to do the 31st or no?
Starting point is 00:22:19 Oh, let me look at my calendar real fast. Oh, no. Where'd my calendar go? I mean, we could just schedule this later. Yeah, we could. Yeah, I thought this was... I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:22:34 I thought this was going to be a lot faster. Yeah, I want to do it next Friday. Okay, next Friday. Getting the bingo, Sloppy Joe's bingo. Yep. You guys are getting together for it. That's a yes from Jeff, and it sounds like a yes from Andrew.
Starting point is 00:22:50 Yeah, no, I'm, yeah, for sure. Okay. Yeah, man. Yep. There you go. Okay. Moving on. Hey, Gav, what did you want to talk about today?
Starting point is 00:22:57 Do you got anything? I've got a bunch of notes I don't understand. What do I do understand? I had something kind of related to you but not at all related to you gavin but i was talking to jeff yesterday about stuff where we could bring up on the show and i was thinking about what could i add to my list what did i forget i often forget to write things down so it's just kind of like going over and i realized something happened to me that is a strange inconvenience that was so annoying.
Starting point is 00:23:26 And then I had the realization text chat. It theoretically could have been you, but I don't think it's you. There's less than 1%. Yes. Somebody, I had a crime. I had a crime committed against me.
Starting point is 00:23:41 That is one of the most low stakes, but just annoying things that has happened somebody stole my doorbell but not not the the mechanics of the doorbell they stole the button of the door the part you push it's not a ring there's nothing there i just i have lost my doorbell because somebody is taking it i was i was texting jeff about this and i was like this is i have this fucking annoying problem that i'm trying to solve someone took my doorbell what if it was gavin what if he snuck up what a what a cucumber revenge that would have been you sneak up you steal my doorbell and you go and you just are gonna send a photo of the plastic now there's less than one percent chance that this was you but i got mad i was like fuck
Starting point is 00:24:31 what if he got me what if he got me because i didn't i didn't catch you did this but is this a communal doorbell to other apartments no just just mine just mine. Yeah. You told me this yesterday. You didn't tell me what it was that was stolen. I wouldn't in a million years have guessed doorbell. No. There's no value in it. I don't understand why this happened. It's not even like a ring doorbell or anything.
Starting point is 00:24:56 No. There's nothing of value. It's just, it's basic. It's a basic doorbell and they took the button. So what's left? Just wires? Or is it just the case of the doorbell. It's just like the back casing of it.
Starting point is 00:25:08 So if someone grabs the wires and just shorts them together, does it still ring the doorbell? I don't think so. I'll take a photo for it. I'll send it to you. Yeah, I guess it could. I don't know. It hasn't rung since it's been taken.
Starting point is 00:25:22 The delivery driver's having to hotwire your doorbell. It hasn't rung since it's been taken. Delivery driver's having to hotline. Do you have any enemies in the neighborhood? No, not that I'm aware of. Not that I'm, you know, not that, it was just, it's odd. There are always people walking by, so I, you know, I don't know. Someone must have taken it, or maybe a bird is possible. There are birds living in my roof, so. so you think a bird ripped a doorbell off i don't know let's why would a person take the doorbell at the point like
Starting point is 00:25:52 there's no logic has gone out the window here i mean we were talking about sneaky things in the air that is true i just it's been a ridiculous problem to try to solve as somebody who grew up in the deep south in Florida and Alabama, people will steal anything. Anything. Yes. For any reason. Just because.
Starting point is 00:26:12 Clearly. Are you in an area where a lot of people walk by like people drunk on a Friday night? Like maybe somebody was just like drunk and shenanigating? I think definitely that is the most likely suspect. Have you checked any uh adjacent or nearby doors to see if they want their doorbells that's the yeah it's the real annoying thing is
Starting point is 00:26:32 there's a a unit next to where i live that is vacant nobody's there and uh their doorbell's fine they didn't take that doorbell that doorbell fully functional doesn't mean it's not needed i should maybe steal their doorbell to put it on my doorbell because it's the same bell that actually might be a solution to my problem i should consider that yeah that's interesting this is also an opportunity now uh you have you could put any doorbell on earth there and you have a reason to like you have a need for a doorbell on Earth there, and you have a reason to. You have a need for a doorbell. So instead of just rushing to replace your doorbell with the exact doorbell you had,
Starting point is 00:27:10 maybe you should do some research and see if there's any cool Japanese doorbells. There has to be, right? Right? That have smart doorbells that do cool stuff. Like a doorbell that cleans your asshole? Yeah, like a doorbell that cleans your asshole and warms your finger while it does it.
Starting point is 00:27:27 Or maybe a doorbell that has a camera so that the next time somebody comes to steal your doorbell, you can see them take it. Yeah, but I like the idea of the feed still going post it being taken. Or you just see the feed from inside a bird's nest. Yeah. It'd be the first bird cam that was
Starting point is 00:27:48 installed by the bird itself. Do you guys remember Senior Ding Dong from The Simpsons? No. I don't. It was a guy that owned a doorbell store. That's great. Here he is.
Starting point is 00:28:05 It just popped into my head. Would it be weird if you just had a bell on your door? Like, did there used to be bells on the outside of a house? I assume so. And you just give them a ring? That would make sense. Oh, what if you could get a tiny replica of the Liberty Bell?
Starting point is 00:28:22 Oh. It doesn't necessarily play in Canada in the same way. Yeah, but it's like kitschy, you know? What about Big Ben? I mean, I'm now living in a world where I'm anticipating my doorbell always being stolen.
Starting point is 00:28:35 So I don't, it's almost like I don't want to pick one I love too much. I don't want it to be a loss. Get a, get like a church bell. Like a big one. Like, kind of like what the liberty bell is although if you want to be a phillies fan what better way to show support than to have a liberty bell right there uh it's nothing more philly than that but get like a big church bell
Starting point is 00:28:53 that's too heavy to move now should i install the bell in the front or should i put it on the roof and just have a rope that goes down to the front now that that's an idea. And you can just put an arrow facing up where the old doorbell used to be. That's just been my small annoyance. There's part of me, I realize, because you've been traveling recently, Gavin. I was like, that motherfucker, what if he...
Starting point is 00:29:20 What a move that would have been. You didn't steal it, is what you're saying,avin i can confirm i did not steal the bell that's it's tragic not yet at least well now he's gonna steal that's the problem i'm gonna get this fancy new bell and gavin's gonna come steal it this show is sponsored by better help getting to know yourself can be a lifelong process especially because we're always growing and changing. It's so important to reflect on those changes as they're happening and try to discover how they're impacting you.
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Starting point is 00:33:48 Here's what we need to do. We have a mystery. Andrew, you have presented us with the mystery. We need to solve it. So we need to put a decoy bell and see if somebody tries to strike again. Like a bell that if you touch it it electrocutes you oh well here's the thing i may be indebted to this person because i've this is
Starting point is 00:34:12 the second thing i've had stolen the last thing that was stolen was i ordered a big order of skittles gummies from amazon and they took those but then those ended up having metal in them. There was a whole factory recall of those specific gummies at that time. So in a way, they saved my life. We talked about this on the show. This is a hero-saving move. You think they're dead?
Starting point is 00:34:35 Either they're dead or they just got out of the hospital and they want to get revenge. Took the only thing on your front porch they could find. It is, yeah. That's the only thing. Everything else that was there that was decorative has been stolen across time it's literally the only thing they could take is my doorbell i've uh i've got a new life hack this oh along these paths okay if you've got a delivery that is just garbage to everyone else like completely worthless you could just leave it outside if you have a delivery that is garbage like i ordered
Starting point is 00:35:14 it's cheap like i drink a lot of that bubbly drink the pink one grapefruit bubbly yeah so i ordered like 10 cases at a time and i'm always like oh i'm gonna put 10 freaking cases of stuff and they're like heavy to move i just leave them outside who's gonna take them well okay in the world in which my doorbell is being stolen i i feel those are much more valuable i would gladly steal your your mineral water you would steal that a hundred percent i would especially in austin there have been times i've been lost in that city dying of heat thirsty if i came across a giant supply of vitamin water whatever mineral water i would steal that i've just been opening the front door grabbing them one at a time and then i just like
Starting point is 00:36:03 well no wait wait a warm you're not what you put an ice in you're putting ice in right i'm not an ice guy i'll be honest so you're just having a hot hot bubbly i mean they're in the shade they're not they will be in like a month yeah this is definitely a winter hack. It's a winter hack. But I just thought the value to effort ratio is way off. Like to steal something that's heavy and only costs like $3.50 for like eight cans. I think that's completely worthless to steal. I think I would be more worried about somebody walking by being thirsty, walking up, popping one open, taking a sit and just drinking it and then turning my front porch
Starting point is 00:36:46 into like an impromptu coffee shop. Hmm. Maybe that'll happen. I mean, there might be a way to make friends in the neighborhood. Look, this might not be a great long-term hack, but right now I'm making use of space
Starting point is 00:36:59 that has previously been utterly useless for storage. Yeah, it's not that I hate the life hack as much as i dislike the move do you are you a fan i like refrigeration i like a nice cold beverage i want to feel refreshed like leaving it outside well maybe what if i had a little fridge out there well i'm talking about becoming you know a porch guy maybe if it looks like the porch is in use constantly, then no one will go for the swipe. As a desk guy, I respect your wanting to be a porch guy and the moves that you feel you need to make
Starting point is 00:37:33 to have that space be yours. I like the idea of a porch fridge. And you think someone won't steal the fridge? I don't think they'll steal the fridge, but you need to have a locking mechanism, I think, for opening it. Does that exist? Is there a button lock you could do?
Starting point is 00:37:51 You don't want to have to use a key, then that becomes annoying, but is there a lock fridge? Like a smart lock for a fridge? Yeah, like a smart lock for a fridge. That has to exist, right? I would assume so. Why wouldn't that exist? They have everything else in fridges
Starting point is 00:38:05 at this point one of my fingerprint door handles to it that now that's the move i wish you would have come up with this idea like uh two months ago i could have given you a fridge oh you could have had my old fridge on your front porch i feel like it being outside might be as effective as your old fridge based off of conversations had on this podcast. I actually don't think that that would have been positive for you. Fridge combo lock. There you go. Eric's got a perfect one. Yeah, but if you look up a little
Starting point is 00:38:34 bit, Nick found a keyless refrigerator lock system for two doors. Perfect. Gavin, if you don't do this, I'll be disappointed in you. It's also just a keypad. Wait, where's the lock? Oh my God. Look at how much is involved in this thing.
Starting point is 00:38:51 Oh, Jesus. I would need a fridge as big as Jeff's to use this thing. You're supposed to... Fuck. That looks like... That's crazy. Well, I mean, I've gone on and on on the other podcast about
Starting point is 00:39:07 how the cold mailbox is the future and that always seems to be shut down. But I think... I think this is perfect. I think the cold mailbox would really help out my bubbly situation. That looks like a complete operation. It's like a maglock.
Starting point is 00:39:20 Yeah, that looks like the shit you take out of a bag when you're breaking into a bank. God damn, dude. If you can successfully install the secure refrig.com two-door lock thing, Gavin, I will never doubt you again for the rest of your life. You'll have all of my respect forever. Why do you think they've called it the secure frig
Starting point is 00:39:44 and not just the Secura Fridge? I don't know. Refrig? Refrig. Refrig. Fridge heist. That's funny, Eric. The domain was available.
Starting point is 00:39:56 Yeah. Secura Fridge is something totally different. What else would you want on the porch? What, with me with my water yeah like well what's the next is it just a fridge like i think once you open your your your porch to this scenario there have to be other things that are other conveniences maybe that's it well i'm gonna keep keep cereal and milk for being a cereal on the porch guy you should have like a basket to put cucumbers in too cucumber deposit basket and then you can transfer them to the fridge keep them
Starting point is 00:40:32 fresh um or maybe people just get into the fridge what if you because your fridge is locked up what if there's like a deposit box on the side of the fridge that you install so like when you like on a friday when you want to deposit a check you just like deposit your neighbor can deposit cucumbers directly into your fridge without being able to it's like when you donate it's when you donate clothes to one of the big bins or if you want something for let you know how like little caesars during the pandemic they introduce like those lockbox pizza things or like you go in and you put their combination in and then you can pull the pizza out what What if you did that with your pizza? You order delivery pizza
Starting point is 00:41:07 and give them instructions to put it in your fridge for later so you can enjoy it. You don't have to have it then. If they didn't call that thing the hot slot, I'm going to be pissed. I don't remember what they... Yeah, I think you're gonna be angry What was the Little Caesars thing called
Starting point is 00:41:27 We just did We just went there last week I'll have to ask Emily what it was called I'm just looking it up Caesars lockbox Dude people are sleeping on Little Caesars I like Little Caesars It's totally fine
Starting point is 00:41:42 Pizza pizza It's a budget pizza but it's it's a solid budget pizza it is a solid budget pizza i have a fun fact actually relating to this we could tie this all in i was thinking about the insecurity of burger king by title like every i was thinking all the other fast food names are grounded in some either reality or like fact related to the brand so like subway i could translate into subs your way like that's that's what they offer you make subs you pick it out mcdonald's is the name of the founder you know like kfc i feel like it's pretty self-explanatory for what their thing is and burger king is we have the best burgers or more
Starting point is 00:42:23 great burgers that's like that's we can do that we're the best burgers. We're great burgers. That's like, we can do that. We're the best. Is he technically the longest reigning monarch? I think so. Well, what about Dairy Queen? Was Dairy Queen before Burger King or after? Well, let's find out. So wait, the reason it's called Subway is because of subs your way?
Starting point is 00:42:41 Oh, that's just what I could take from it. I actually didn't do research on why Subway is called Subway. That might not be factual, but it makes sense. I see it's a pun on submarine sandwich. Subway. It's probably multiple layers. A sub your way. I should have looked into Subway.
Starting point is 00:42:57 It's a bad thing. I looked into a bunch of other places, but that's what led me to this fun fact. Okay. Dairy Queen is 14 years older than Burger King. So Dairy Queen's reign has been a decade and a half long. It's the longest running monarch. Dairy Queen's reign was longer than the real queen.
Starting point is 00:43:16 Wait, when was the coronation? I have no idea. I feel like you're the most qualified to know this. Yeah, right. 1953. Yeah, right. 1953. Yeah, yeah, Burger Queen. Sorry, Burger Queen. Dairy Queen started in...
Starting point is 00:43:33 Burger Queen. Burger Queen. Burger Queen Elizabeth. When I was in Kuwait back in... Anyway, Dairy Queen started in 1940. When I was in Kuwait back in the army in the mid-90s, they had uh like a McDonald's it was actually the nicest McDonald's you've ever seen it's like two stories
Starting point is 00:43:49 and like dudes would be washing your car when you went and it was fucking ridiculous but they had uh they had a lot of American restaurants then but the only one they had that was I guess not licensed was Burger King and so they had Burger Queen they have a cool logo i don't remember it being any different i just remember laughing every time i saw it give us to see like a headline that is beyond your comprehension i feel like a lot of the time i'll read a headline but it's about like something i don't understand like an like an nft related thing or something that's just like i haven't been up to date with i had the opposite of that happen when I read a headline that said, Conan trusted AI and did a cameo.
Starting point is 00:44:30 And in my head, I thought he's using AI to like generate cameos for people, which I thought, Oh, that's interesting. And then I read the actual article. What it actually said was conan trusted al and did a cameo he was talking about doing a cameo in the weird al movie and i was just like way
Starting point is 00:44:49 too ahead of it was the opposite of being out of touch i was like too in touch oh the burger queen yeah i found you i found a photo oh wow that looks great that's legit. I'm glad I didn't. When you get to be my age, you can't trust your memory. You would just invent shit all the time. Well, you could have dreamt it. Yeah, or you misremember something and then you've had 20 years to misremember it. Yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:45:24 I mean, that just happens with time i feel like with most stories like it's hard to remember exactly the specifics of it but when i was looking through fast food names i was like what about popeyes popeyes feels like there might be i could see like whoever created it had a nickname that was popeye like there could be a fun thing with popeyes popeyes was originally called Chicken on the Run, and nobody liked it. Nobody went there. It was a shitty name. And then the guy watched the French Connection and
Starting point is 00:45:52 renamed the restaurant after Gene Hackman because he was cool. Yeah, Popeye was his name. I had no idea that that was... The French Connection is responsible for Popeyes. I actually know about... It doesn't make any sense. It's like Jack in the Box just renaming to Scorpion King. is responsible for Popeyes. I actually know about this. Just renaming to Scorpion King.
Starting point is 00:46:10 He watched the movie and was like, that's a cool name. Popeyes is cool. I'm going to name it after Gene Hackman. I think I actually know about this because of Face Jam. I think they covered this early on. I assumed Eric would know. And then he denied up and down that it was because of that,
Starting point is 00:46:27 and everyone went, yeah, but come on. He was like, well, it's after the cartoon character. He's like, no, no, it's Gene Hackman's character in The French Connection. And everyone went, that doesn't make any sense. And he went, right. And that was it. There you go.
Starting point is 00:46:46 That's fantastic. Hey, speaking of dumb names, have we ever talked about where the NBA G League got its name? No. So the NBA G League, if you don't know, is the minor leagues of the NBA. It's like their farm teams, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:02 Like for Boston, Celtics have the main Red Claws, although I think they changed their name to the main Celtics, which is lame because the Red Claws is a much cooler name. They have a little lobster logo. The NBA G League got its name. It used to be called the D League. D stands for development, the development league.
Starting point is 00:47:19 They changed their name to G. Would anyone like to throw out a guess why? I have no idea. Gatorade paid them to. It's the NBA Gatorade League. What? What shitty advertising. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:39 Gatorade just came to it and said, essentially, rename the D League to the G League and we'll give you money. And the NBA was like, cha-ching. Absolutely. Is it at least in their font? How are you supposed to know that? Yeah. I don't think they, I don't know. The G League? Hmm. like cha-ching absolutely at least in their font how are you supposed to know that yeah like i don't think they i don't know the g league hmm that is really weird and they're trying to make the g league a bigger thing right like they're trying to sign what would be college like players to it before they're draft eligible uh it just seems like a bad investment because nobody really
Starting point is 00:48:01 cares about the g league at this stage of like what it is. Well, it's it's becoming it's going to be. Just as viable of an avenue to the NBA as college, if not more so in the next 10 years, probably. Yeah, that's definitely the investment they're moving towards. But I wonder when did it switch to the G League? How long has it been the G League? Let's see. Twenty seventeen. The league signed uh entered into a multi-year partnership with gatorade and announced that it would rebrand as the nba gatorade league which was officially shortened to nba g league prior to the season so since 2017 i wish that this was adopted by other things like in the same way that we sell arena names why don't you just sell the name of your sport why couldn't it be the nhlg for five years like what it's there's no limit to this
Starting point is 00:48:52 the nflg yeah it's interesting too like because the the g league is a product and it's sponsored by a different product so like i do if you follow this down the line far enough, could you eventually have like, like, could you have Pepsi sponsoring Coke? It'd be like the Pepsi, Pepsi, Coca-Cola or like the Los Angeles Lakers, Boston Celtics. There's really no different. No. How much money would it take to change the name of the sport? How much?
Starting point is 00:49:23 The G-League. Yeah, like G-Ball. That's interesting. Well, hold on a second. Let me see. The new slate contract is an alternative. Oh, no, it doesn't.
Starting point is 00:49:32 It doesn't talk about those kinds of things here on Wikipedia. I feel like the XFL is writing all these ideas down. The Rock's trying to figure out how to incorporate his Rock Not Rock draft
Starting point is 00:49:44 into the next season. Eric's trying to figure out how to incorporate his Rock Not Rock draft into the next season. Eric sent a thing about how the Rock's tequila was the official tequila sponsor of the XFL. So smart. It's his. We can just do that. Like, Gavin, I think that would just be like like and our official slow-mo partner is slow-mo guys like it's just it's just the other thing you do it's great it's genius would you be hurt was somebody else official exclusive slow-mo
Starting point is 00:50:19 in a partnership between in a partnership between the slow guys and and the sponsor face for the year 2023 2024 podcast season. We had to let variety now to get this written up. They won't they won't ever cover us.
Starting point is 00:50:42 We never got to the bottom of that. We didn't know, but I decided to just let it go. We never got to the bottom of that. We didn't. No, but I decided to just let it go. We did. There's another thing recently that made me laugh. We'll never know if the cock block came from inside the house or not. Why don't we put a bounty on it
Starting point is 00:50:59 internally? Email everyone. I feel like this would be easy to figure out. Start hearing some names. I'm gonna fucking die. Oh my god. That could be our first true crime podcast subject. If the cock was blocked.
Starting point is 00:51:19 And we could follow up that hit with the doorbell caper. And we could follow up that hit with the doorbell caper. There was a recent docket that was like a company brand thing. I thought was funny that Shrek and the Predator made it in, but we did not. There is no reference. There might have been one. I don't think there was, though. There was a block of it that was like everything the company does and we were not part of it that made me laugh.
Starting point is 00:51:47 What do you mean? There was a it was like a doc thing that was recent for the company of like this is our brand and the predator made it and Shrek made it but we did not we were not mentioned in the list of things. Well I don't know that we are as strong of a brand as predator or Shrek. No we're definitely not I'm not saying we are, but I'm just saying when you're discussing every inch of the company. Oh, yeah, yeah. Also, the Predator made it and Shrek made it, but we were omitted.
Starting point is 00:52:14 We're even internally blocked. Did Rooster Teeth stuff make it? Yeah, it was a Rooster Teeth thing. It was them talking about stuff that the company does. It was like a... And we were not in our docket. It was just a silly thing. But to be fair,
Starting point is 00:52:28 would you mention us? I don't even tell people what I do. Like when they stop me on the street and they're like, Oh, Hey Jeff, how you doing, man? What are you up to these days?
Starting point is 00:52:35 I'm like, I don't know. Well, that's yeah. You're making the business cards to solve this problem. It's not a thing of blame. It is very difficult. I don't know how to,
Starting point is 00:52:43 we've talked before, like describing what it is, is definitely a challenge. It's just, thing of blame. It is very difficult. I don't know how to... We've talked before, like describing what it is is definitely a challenge. It's just as funny. It's like so hard it's omitted. Somebody I saw the other day said that they thought a good tagline,
Starting point is 00:52:54 a better tagline than Deep Lore About Nothing, which... And I'm not advocating for this. I just thought it was interesting. Was that, I think Gavin... Somebody said in a recent episode, I think it was Gavin,
Starting point is 00:53:04 that we make games out of everything that is kind of that's kind of true that is kind of a a way to describe this i would say what about face versus predator just change the name of the podcast face versus predator i like that. I like that. I'm imagining not us. That's like what, you know, like on YouTube, you see those backyard fights. Like those are the names of the people in the backyard fight.
Starting point is 00:53:37 It's F***face versus Predator. Those are the two guys. I'm okay with us changing the name of this or doing a face per predator story. If it ends with us locking the predator in Gavin's fridge, his porch. We lure him into the fridge with cucumbers. I have a slight mystery. This is talking about true crime and things. I had a weird mystery. This is, we're talking about true crime and things. I had a weird experience.
Starting point is 00:54:07 Okay. I've been recently talking a lot about rock stuff. That's not a normal sentence. You complete freak. We're talking about rock stuff recently. You're back to saying insane shit as though it's perfectly normal. Well, we were.
Starting point is 00:54:23 What was? No. Calm down. First of all. Second of all. I tried to say an insane shit, and so it's perfectly normal. Well, we weren't. What was... What do you... No. Calm down, first of all. Second of all, since what I said not true. We've been talking a lot of rock. We've been talking a lot of rock recently. It's perfectly true.
Starting point is 00:54:36 That's what's so confusing about the sentence. Speaking of rocks, let me transition again very quickly. Gavin, I need to apologize to you. Because after you called me out on it, we talked about it. I went back last night and I watched the bean hole video and I watched the baseball video and I definitely did not watch either of those. Those were great.
Starting point is 00:54:58 Watching you guys deal with that rock, the full cut of it, mixing the stuff in with the beans. It was very good. I would highly recommend. I had a great time. Those were great video that was a year ago when was it made i don't i don't know how i baseballs film that was last like march or something i don't i don't i don't know i thought i watched them and i just gotta find out and I did baseball it was like July of last year I want to say that baseballs came out
Starting point is 00:55:27 I did look at the date I was like did something happen where I like I missed it because that and I couldn't I couldn't think anything so I apologize I should have watched those people should watch those those are great videos March 20th 2022 March 20th
Starting point is 00:55:43 your takeaway is people should watch this yeah if you're like me and you thought that you saw them but you actually didn't maybe double check because I was watching it and going I've seen this and then I'd go I don't think I've
Starting point is 00:55:59 seen this and then we got to the part where they season the beans and I was like I haven't seen any of this this is all this recording both of those videos were filmed one year and three days ago wow that's a coincidence well it's a perfect time to review that's actually leads me to
Starting point is 00:56:15 a second point you guys need to do the bean hole again whenever the anniversary is which it sounds like was three days ago there needs to be another bean hole well i'm working on a on a different bean hole hole i guess i'm working on a different bean hole so i i oh you're making like incremental progress on a bean hole i started on it a while back and i just haven't i haven't gotten back to it but i'm about 40 percent of the way into the hole that was one of my takeaways
Starting point is 00:56:40 and my other takeaway was you guys were talking about a treasure discovery business for Jeff's backyard I would love it if you like if Gavin like closed his eyes spun in your backyard took a certain number of steps and you just dug you just dug for like six feet and saw what you found it'd be a great series
Starting point is 00:56:58 how far down do we have to go? I love this idea six feet straight down can we have to go? I think six feet. I love this idea. I think six feet straight down. Six feet straight down. Can we have a jackhammer? Yeah, you can have whatever you want. Whatever tools you want to use, you can use fucking dynamite. I don't care.
Starting point is 00:57:13 It's not my yard. But you have to go six feet down. Eric, can we credit card a jackhammer? Yes. I'm looking at stuff right now. I'm less worried about credit carding a jackhammer and more worried about what we hit what about this can we credit card jack with a hammer is that is that a little bit more in the price range that's probably gonna be more expensive but way
Starting point is 00:57:35 less effective yeah if it's more expensive yeah undeniably less effective i was hoping for cost budget jackhammer i bet you'll hit like an old VW bug or something if you go. I would love to see it. I love the ever expanding list of different cars that whenever Jeff describes. I was digging down. I hit the hood of a Buick. I need to make a compilation of all the kind of car the people that would do what they did to the backyard would own and then not value. I think last time you said like 52 Buick.
Starting point is 00:58:12 It's always got a year to it. I like to add a little flavor. I want Jeff to be right. I want you to go six feet deep and find all of these cars. Like you just called it. Every single one was accurate. My house was built in a car graveyard. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:28 Is there a spot of your yard, Jeff, that we can absolutely annihilate? Yeah, 100%. If I do enough of them, we can just pull it. That's true. That's an even better point, yeah. Yeah, we can definitely jackhammer my backyard.
Starting point is 00:58:43 That'll be good supplemental content. Yeah, I wonder how deep we could go. That'd be fun to find out six feet is a good number it's the classic depth yeah when it comes to digging holes but what if we went like 20 feet you can't do you're not going 20 feet why because i just watched in a video of you guys failing to go more than one foot. You're not. It's going to take six years. What tools are you getting? Are you bringing in construction equipment, or is it just stuff that you can pull from Jeff's shed?
Starting point is 00:59:15 Is there going to be a rock that we eventually hit that a jackhammer won't crack? Okay, so you're just definitely assuming you have a jackhammer in this scenario. What won't jack crack? I don't know what jack can't crack. Can you even use a jack in the ground like that? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:59:34 Are they used in the air? What do you mean? No. First of all, if they did, they'd be very stealthy. Second of all, I feel like I see jack hammers on like kind of surface or near surface i don't see jack hammers necessarily in mines not that i'm in mines all that often but i don't feel like i see that there hmm you might be right that's probably a reason for that hmm well we're gonna need it for the rocks look at that he the the amount of sass i
Starting point is 01:00:02 got on gavin on the introduction to that point, to him to wrap around and go, hmm, he might be right, was quite the journey. We went far both ways. I think it's just residual foot revenge. No, I get it. Yeah, totally. Absolutely.
Starting point is 01:00:18 When you brought up the thing with the buying the smallest item thing, when you're like, I thought it'd be a two-day thing and i was like no this is ridiculous it was like no that's totally valid but it's sometimes you get in fights or you're just swinging at everything because you just you're you're prepared you just gotta bite down on the mouth that's most of our fights on this to the point where it's like i'm i'm yelling literally yelling in my head i'm like why am i so passionate about this i will say in my defense of that though i did we agreed to buy it the next day we don't need to go over this again we did agree next day so it'd be why would i anticipate it being a two day setup if we're buying it the next day that's fair just posted a jackhammer in stock that jack
Starting point is 01:01:01 hammer i just showed you was in stock at lowe's right now that's such a wide bit i feel like we need we'll need like a chisel bit to get through a lot of the uh yeah tougher rock yeah we can get a different bit like we can get like a smaller chisel bit because you'll need it um but it'll be a lot of moving dirt i mean six feet is six feet of dirt that's a lot of dirt that's a lot of dirt they want to go 20 20 feet can we get one on a 20 foot stick what's that mean like like how andrew has to play video games like on his own sticks like if you could connect a pogo stick to the top of the jackhammer and then get on top of that maybe i like the idea just the pogo jackhammer in general that seems great
Starting point is 01:01:46 it's kind of like that character in plans versus zombies right yeah warfare yeah oh totally the engineer whatever his name was so we're gonna end up with a six foot hole in my backyard right at least yeah what do we we got to put something down there
Starting point is 01:02:04 beans deep beans well yeah about six feet of beans uh yeah but i mean it we should put something down there that's going to live there forever you fill it up with like water that could be your pool yeah you seem not into the idea did i ever tell you guys about uh one time at my old house years and years and years of ago i uh i had a pipe break in my front yard and there's just like water bubbling out from under the ground in my front yard right and it was like weird so uh I had to call a plumber and the plumber had to come and dig a hole in my front yard. And he went about three or four feet down
Starting point is 01:02:48 and before he found like where the pipe burst. And in the ground where he found the burst pipe, he found a laminated photo of a saint. And I think it was, I want to say it was, was it the hand of Fatima? I don't remember what it was, but it was like a laminated like religious card
Starting point is 01:03:11 and it had been buried like three feet in the ground at some point. And he was like, this is really weird, but this was right next to where your pipe burst. And so I kept it on my fridge
Starting point is 01:03:22 for years and years. It might still be there at that house, but I never figured out like who would bury a religious card underground and it just happened to be at the exact spot where the pipe burst do you think it was buried or do you think it just blew in a hole that was dug in the past he dug it out it was there it was like laying next to the pipe so you're saying you want to put a laminated don zimmer 20 feet deep in your yard yes that's exactly what I'm
Starting point is 01:03:46 saying. Thank you. I think it'd be funny if there aren't car pieces down there. If you put car pieces down there that you feel should be there. Oh, let's buy the hood of a 56 Buick. It was St. Marina. The
Starting point is 01:04:03 patron saint of water. Yeah, that's what it was. Really? It was at the pipe? The water pipe? That is odd. Who would bury that? That feels, yeah. We definitely should put a Don Zimmer at the bottom.
Starting point is 01:04:19 I think that's a great idea. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. What if we put a time capsule? Would it be insensitive to put a time capsule? Would it be insensitive to put a Coolio? What if it's a USB stick of this recording? Oh, yeah. And then they have the history of why it's down there.
Starting point is 01:04:36 Yeah. That's a great idea, Gav. Is there a Saint of Beans? Let me look. Saint of Beans. Saint Campbell? Yes. Maybe.
Starting point is 01:04:51 Who's the bean saint? Saint Bean. Oh! Saint Bean? Is it Rowan Atkinson? Bowen of Mortlatch is the first of three known bishops of Mortlatch. I think he gave me a quest in Skyrim. Maybe we'll throw him down there too.
Starting point is 01:05:12 I like the idea of doing a little time capsule that includes a waterproof USB stick that has this recording on it. I think that's fantastic. And then that gives us a reason to hit six feet. His name, which can also be written in non-Gaelic context as B-anus. B-O-anus. So we're going to laminate B-O-anus.
Starting point is 01:05:44 I cannot trace the beginning of this conversation. We're at BOANUS, and I don't know how we got here. It's like, if we could find a saint who sounds like Butthead, we'd be in business. Oh, man. Oh, goddamn. Also, you guys might not realize this. Congratulations on being the number one
Starting point is 01:06:05 beanhole influencers on YouTube. I was just curious. You have the number one beanhole video on YouTube. You got that market. It's locked out. By viewers? By viewers, yes. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:06:16 That's great to hear. It's like some Mr. Bean clips, which I'm not counting, but as far as specific beanhole activities, you guys have it by quite a bit. That's a moniker I will wear proudly. You should. I'm jealous.
Starting point is 01:06:31 Should we change our bios to beanhole influencer? F***face versus Predator, a beanhole influencer podcast. Oh, man. We should probably wrap up. That went so fast. It did. Earlier today, y'all weren't there,
Starting point is 01:06:47 but Eric and I did Face Presents opening day, which is where we sold the new jersey and the green baseball bat and the hat. And I think it's all sold out now. But it hung around for a while, and then we gave cards away that we pulled. So I grabbed a bunch of really unique kind of non-sports cards this time.
Starting point is 01:07:04 We pulled from this box of Americana stuff. We pulled a one-of-one printing plate of a photo of the very first Groundhog Day. The very first Groundhog Day. The very first Groundhog Day. The very first Groundhog Day. The very first Groundhog Day. Did Groundhogs matter before Groundhog Day? I would argue that Groundhog Day, that
Starting point is 01:07:33 Poxitani Phil or whatever his name was, became the first Groundhog to ever matter. Is Groundhog Day a real thing? Yeah. What do you mean is it a real thing? Like they actually release a Groundhog and see if it looks up well? What are you talking about? Yes. I do you mean is it a real thing? Like they actually release a groundhog and see if it looks up. What are you talking about? Yes. I thought it was a movie.
Starting point is 01:07:50 No. Based on a real thing. That's a real thing? Yeah. You didn't. Oh wow we had very different experiences. I grew up thinking that this was scientific. I remember being a kid being like the weather is determined on the groundhog. We need to take a f***ing face field trip to Groundhog Day.
Starting point is 01:08:07 I've always wanted to go to Groundhog Day. I feel like you're going to be disappointed by Groundhog Day. It's in the same town they filmed Groundhog Day, I think, isn't it? Wait, so it's like based... Oh, I can't believe it. Poxitani? That's incredible. I love that you know this.
Starting point is 01:08:24 Why would I think that's real? It's incredible. I love to blow my mind. Why would I think that's real? It's stupid. You just, you just talked about St. Bean anus and you're like, that's dumb. Why would it be real? You're like,
Starting point is 01:08:35 that's stupid. You come from a country where they have a sport that's rolling cheese down a hill. There's no movie about it. Speaking of field trips, Eric told me earlier today that we can go to the Beanhole Days festival
Starting point is 01:08:50 in July. July 12th and 13th, if you want. Do you think we'll get trapped in a time loop? A bean loop? I don't know whether I'd want to be trapped in a time loop at Groundhog Day or Beanhole Day. Oh, I would want to be at Beanhole Day.
Starting point is 01:09:06 Really? It's intense. Are you guys making the beans or can you access other beans? I'm a bigger bean fan than a bigger Groundhog fan. I don't give a shit about Groundhogs. Do you think in an unseen time loop in Groundhog Day, he went on just an absolute murder spree? Yes. Yeah, I think so.
Starting point is 01:09:23 I think so, too. I think he killed everybody. Did you just want confirmation on that? I just think that's a much darker movie if you think about how long he's been in there. Have you ever seen that movie Happy Death Day? Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:37 That's like the horror version of Groundhog Day, right? Yeah, it's the same idea. Yeah. Time loop movie? It's a great movie. Sequel's good too. Not as good as the first one. I haven't seen that. Really good. I need to see it. the same idea. Yeah. Time loop movie. It's a great movie. Sequel's good too. Not as good as the first one. I haven't seen that.
Starting point is 01:09:46 Really good. I need to see it. What a show. We covered a lot of things. Excellent. Yeah, it was a good one. Started strong. Great conversations at the beginning.
Starting point is 01:09:56 Didn't end well? No, I was making a joke. You're the one that said you wanted to delete the beginning and restart it. Oh, right. It also has not ended it. Oh, right. It also has not ended well. Yeah. No. I don't know how we would have done the preview for this one.
Starting point is 01:10:12 Like it coming up on face. What I like about this is we started in the air and we ended in the ground. We did a full arc, not on purpose. But we did it. We went there. Oh, yeah. That really got me, Gavin. I'm just imagining like on the video of this podcast there's just like an altitude
Starting point is 01:10:31 and the numbers just slowly counting down people going like what's going on until we're talking about digging it goes like sub zero feet to minus 20 feet. Back out to the height of a groundhog above a man's head. I'd love somebody to draw that art.
Starting point is 01:10:55 Visually. It was in the air, under the ground, back in the air again. Oh man, this is all making my fucking tooth hurt. I gotta go. Oh dude, it's brutal don't even no don't even i i i got i went to the dentist monday morning i went and i got i went to a separate dentist to get a second opinion because i was in so much oh god so it's not in your head i got x-rays everything you know what that dentist said he said uh he said, it'll probably hurt like this for about three weeks,
Starting point is 01:11:26 and then it won't anymore. And if it does, just come back. So I'm on the three-week cycle. My dentist is on vacation, so I can't talk to her. And this other dentist I went to for the second opinion was less helpful. So, yeah, I think I might experience grating pain for the rest of my life. Did you notice that in the animated thing of me talking about... Hold on, Eric!
Starting point is 01:11:49 Hold on! In the thing where... I saw him on mute and I had to go for it. In the animated of me talking to my ringtone and talking to a recording of Dan, at the end of the animated thing, Jeff just looks at me and goes, I hate you so much.
Starting point is 01:12:07 Without any of the context, he had toothache and laughing made his tooth hurt. Mouth hurt. Yeah. People were like, it's really aggressive. It was like you hate my story. Really? Why is Jeff mad at Gavin's story?
Starting point is 01:12:20 It was really funny. No, it made my mouth hurt. All right, now you can yell, Eric. Yeah, go ahead, Eric. I need to yell. I just need to wrap up. That's a good point. We should definitely wrap up.
Starting point is 01:12:30 Also, now that we're done and it's time for you to move on with your day as well, why don't you head on over to Rooster Teeth or YouTube and watch episode four of Does It Do? Yeah. In this episode, Gavin and I make popsicles and then we vomit popsicles. Good response to the first step.
Starting point is 01:12:49 Oh, the third one. Straight. Great. Yeah. Yeah. People seem to really like it. The spin chill. That's a great addition of having a kind BK laughing in the background.
Starting point is 01:12:57 I thought. Oh, yeah. They're the best. It really adds. It really adds a Nick effect to it. I feel like. Yeah. Hey, audience.
Starting point is 01:13:06 What? Not you guys. Okay. Why don't you like and subscribe? Give us some stars. Tell a friend about F*** Face. And then rate us. Maybe this one didn't end well.
Starting point is 01:13:22 I think this is a good ending. No, it's not. I never brought up the rock thing. I just brought up. No, it's not. I never brought up the rock thing. I just brought up we've been talking rocks. I never talked about the rock. Thanks for listening. You can rate and subscribe. Give us five stars. This is episode 148
Starting point is 01:13:36 of F*** Face. Guys, thank you so much for being here. You can follow us at F*** Face Pod on Instagram and on Twitter. You can join us at r slash F*** Face Pod on the subreddit. Guys, all the information is there, and we'll see you next time on F***face. I mean, I feel like I already said most of that stuff with my exit. Now they got double exited.
Starting point is 01:13:54 Hey, guys. Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F***face. No preview for this one. That Remax logo looks familiar. How do you hide from people? Someone made a video game about Pantin. Is Cheap Boys in better or worse? Jeff has another mall story. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face. We'll see you next time.

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