F**kface - Gavin Wasn't Ready // Bingoing Somebody in Scrabble Feels Good [45]
Episode Date: April 7, 2021Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about RPMs, content that can not easily be dodged, and the Bingo Queen. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to ffacebits@gmail.com. Sponsored by: ExpressVPN... (http://expressvpn.com/face), and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/12face + code 12face) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hello and welcome to episode 45 of F*** Face.
My name is Jeff Ramsey and with me as always Gavin Free and Andrew Panton.
And how's it going boys?
I'm doing about as good as I was 10 minutes ago when we wrapped up the last one.
Still good?
Yeah.
Gavin, what did you get to eat?
Is Gavin not back yet?
Did we just assume Gavin was back?
Did we start without Gavin?
I thought he was there. I heard him much. I could have sworn he said something. Gavin not back yet? Did we just assume Gavin was back? Did we startle out Gavin? Did we?
I thought he was there.
I heard him much.
I could have sworn he said something.
I could have sworn Gavin was a part of the conversation earlier.
Oh, shit.
Are you good?
Yeah.
My headphones are off.
I just heard a bunch of people saying my name through it.
What's going on?
What?
Why were your headphones off and you're just sitting here?
Why would you do that?
I'm getting a snack.
I'll tell you.
I didn't eat yet today.
I'm going to stuff it down. Gavin, Gavin,
we're in the middle of the next episode. We just started
the next episode. We thought you were here, man.
We heard you talking.
I thought we were still waiting for Andrew's steam engine.
No, I'm good to go.
What are you eating?
I'm stuffing some crisps down. First of all,
you're eating a meal. That's not a snack.
You can't claim.
What are you eating?
You're eating lunch.
Crisps?
Yeah.
Okay, that's a snack.
That's a snack.
That's a snack.
Add a bit of celery and some hummus.
Just topping it off with something crunchy.
Getting it down.
Okay.
What flavor?
Flame-grilled steak flavor.
What brand?
McCoy's.
Real McCoy's.
Huh.
I don't know if I'm familiar with that.
They're employed.
Flame grilled seems like an unnecessary word for that product.
Flame grilled steak?
Are you going to fucking serve sous vide flavored steak?
Like, what do you...
Why is it flame grilled?
Yeah, I know what you mean.
That's like Burger King's whole deal, right?
It's flame broiled.
I think it's just that, like, when you go to McDonald's for instance or like I I can't say because I never
worked at McDonald's but it did work at Sidney's fried chicken and on that you just cook your
patties on uh just like a flat oven that's heated right so there's no it's not touching any any
actual flames so you don't get like the little, I guess like the burnt edges. You know what I mean?
Yeah.
So this is the second episode of a back to back.
Last time I said,
next time we record,
if that port-a-potty is not there,
there will be consequences to pay.
We're doing back to back recordings that does not apply here.
So it will be the next recording on this one that that port-a-potty better
have touched your hands.
I don't care if it's in Gavin's yard.
By the time that we're talking at you,
you have received the porta potty is what has happened.
And that brings me to something I want to talk about.
I'm assembling.
We're assembling a group to help with bits.
Jeff,
an army will be pointed at you.
If this does not occur,
I've made an email called Ffacebits at gmail.com.
I have ambitious ideas
for things that require help.
If you're listening
and you want to contribute to these,
if it doesn't really matter
what your skill set is,
or maybe you just even know somebody
that has a specific skill set
or is helpful in some capacity,
feel free to email
at ffacebits at gmail.com.
I'm going to make a spreadsheet and note what everybody says that they can claim to do.
And we're going to mobilize against you, Jeff.
So I'm just, that'll probably be the first thing.
So hopefully, I really hope, I'd love for you to receive the third party.
And I'm hoping you do.
How can my own podcast and audience mobilize against me?
Also, this was tweeted before the last recording.
Yeah, this was tweeted this morning.
I was going to mention it last show,
but then I thought, well, Jeff is doing this,
so it would make sense that this is the last opportunity
before the squad mobilizes against you.
We'll come from all angles.
So wait a minute.
Is the point of the squad to be anti-me?
No, no, no, no, no.
No, you've just crossed the line.
You have broken your own code.
But isn't it also my squad
as much as yours or Gavin's?
Yeah, but you've crossed the code here.
Can I just turn around
and mobilize them back against you?
Yeah, you could,
but you don't have the fucking
password to the email account.
So I got that going for me right now.
Jeff, you're going to have to make your own one.
Hey, Andrew, can I ask you a question?
Uh-huh, go ahead.
Can I get the password to that email account? We'll talk
about it. Maybe if you receive the port-a-potty, I'll
gladly share it as soon as
that thing gets there. Look, man,
it's not my fault they won't bring
it to my house. It's your fault.
I've been here the whole time.
You're ignoring their calls. We've
already done this. We don't need to do this again.
So just let me repeat that one more time.
That's F face bits at Gmail dot com.
Any skill at all.
I don't care if you just happened.
And if you're somebody's dentist, that could be of interest.
Doesn't matter.
Just if you can help in any way and you want to feel free to email.
I'll put you in the spreadsheet.
I might reach out to you if there's something we can do.
Hey, if you're in the audience,
if you're in the face audience,
first off, thanks.
Appreciate that.
Yeah, absolutely.
Good on you.
That was cool of you.
We owe you.
Oh, you won for that favor.
But if you're in the face audience currently
and you're listening to this
and considering sending an email
to that address to Andrew,
I would just like you to consider
that you don't know
what he's going to do
with this information
and mobilize against you. How well can you really trust? How well can
any of us really trust Andrew? I'd like you to think about that before you just send an email
that could be used. Who knows what kind of personal information he might be stealing from you,
data mining from you. I don't know. I just want you to think before you hit send on that email,
think to yourself, do I even know his real name?
First of all, I don't know why that would even matter as an initial response.
And secondly, once again, Jeff, this is your squad too.
It's just, it's not my fault that you have crossed us
and you've made this wrong turn.
This is for the betterment of everybody.
It's just because you broke your own code
that this is currently being edited.
Broke my code?
Yeah, you did.
I'm sad about it.
I don't know, Andrew.
I feel like dodging that port-a-potty, your words, not mine.
They were your words.
Literally your words in a meeting yesterday.
Well, that's your words that they were my words.
My words and Eric backed it up.
That's what you said.
Well, I think we all know Eric's a little suspect when it comes to trustworthiness.
Whose relationships
have been mostly the most
affected by this podcast? Because I feel like
my relationship with Andrew is
much stronger than when we started. However,
I feel like Andrew's relationship with
Jeff has deteriorated somewhat
dramatically. No, I disagree.
I disagree. I think you're onto
something, Kevin. I disagree strongly.
I feel like Andrew and I were much closer before F*** Face. No! I disagree strongly.. I think you're onto something, Kevin. I disagree strongly. I feel like Andrew and I were much closer before **** face.
No.
I disagree strongly.
I'd be willing to say Eric and Jeff have also deteriorated.
My relationship with you?
No, with Eric.
Oh, with Eric.
You sound so scared.
I don't know that I would consider what Eric and I had before to be a relationship.
I think it's as strong as ever.
Really?
Aw.
Thanks, buddy.
You seem mad more.
No, that's just by nature of the work I do.
So there we are.
I think I cleared it.
Ffacebits at gmail.com.
Yeah.
I think we're good.
Feel free to email.
Anytime you reach out to a stranger on the internet, you should think about it first.
That's all I'm saying.
Safety first.
We're going to do some cool stuff.
Safety first.
We're going to do some amazing things.
You know what?
We can talk about that.
The Child Kicker.
The short film. I'm working on that. talk about that. Child Kicker. The short film.
I'm working on that. I'm putting
the Child Kicker short together.
What? Yeah.
I talked about this like two weeks ago.
You wanted to put it in a film festival?
Yeah, I wanna fucking make a Child Kicker short
and we're gonna submit it to festivals.
I don't know how you missed that. I talked about that
not like the last time we
recorded over a week ago.
Yeah, I said I wanted to work on it.
Yeah, he did.
In passing, I confirmed Gavin and I sorted kind of a thing out.
We're going to get a scene from Gavin in Shot Kicker.
It's going to be this piece of shit short that's going to have one scene that's filmed with an absurdly expensive camera.
Does Vancouver Island have a festival?
I'm sure they do.
I'm sure they do.
But I want to like I want to submit it to Sundance. I't know what i okay do that but i'm just gonna go to poxy yeah is the uh
is the vancouver child kicker shirt out yet that's a great question as well are the stickers out
should we talk about the child kicker franchise as a whole i feel like that shirt is badass it's a great shirt we
all agree that the vancouver child kicker as an ip has a has a lot of legs oh definitely yeah for
sure this is this is like i'm seeing trilogy this is like yeah this is like this like if robert
rodriguez got a hold of it it would be like nine movies it would yeah and that's you know moving
away from being pointed at jeff uh that's that's the type of thing i'd love to use the f face bits at gmail.com
account for yeah certain ideas that i you know i can't pull off but would just be amazing are you
directing by the way uh i think producing is probably a better title for that i'm trying to
put everything together how much actual like filming i'm gonna do
i don't think a lot so you're gonna hire different location directors i guess i you know i don't even
know if hire is the right word we'll figure it out i have more i'm not an idea maybe get michael
bay to do some yeah yeah you know well i mean you're attached why not the things are limitless
as far as is this gonna be sag or how are we doing no i think we're gonna go none i don't
know i'd have to look into that once again like these are things i need to i'm not a fine ideas
guy i'm like a broad like let's we're gonna do these things i want a song like we're doing all
the major stops of like movies yeah movies always have an original song i'll be looking for that
speaking of songs how fucking cool was that Oh Jeffrey Boy song that they made?
Wait one second. I'm getting a call from
Texas right now.
It's about to be rerouted back
to Indiana. Hello?
Okay.
It's the freight company.
Jeffrey, I'm sorry.
Has he
been ignoring the calls? Have you tried to reach
him and he hasn't been responsive?
Could you tell me the number
and I can have him call you immediately.
That's so perfect.
Thank you so much.
Okay, so...
For the tracking?
7-2-1-3-3-9-2-7-7-7-2. for the tracking seven two one three three nine two seven seven seven two six two three
four four eight two two three nine six four three two seven five three this is great
eight two six glad this is happening right now eight eight eight two four five
eleven sixty two okay i think i got it sorry since people are talking in the background I'm glad this is happening right now. 888-245-1162.
Okay, I think I got it.
Sorry, this is people talking in the background.
39637.
344686.
Okay, thank you so much.
I'll have him call you immediately.
He was very accusatory.
He was immediately saying that you were ignoring them. Okay, thank you.
Have a great day.
Okay, Jeff.
Thanks, buddy.
You're up.
There you go.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's your number thanks man i don't
believe it that was i don't believe it jeff yeah we can wait we're very early into this podcast
we'll wait while you make this call yeah you need to call them call them right fucking now
it's it turns out content is not easily dodged on face no okay hold on hold on tracking number
just to make it even really easy for you. That's the fucking tracking number.
The first one's the phone number.
I love this podcast.
Unbelievable.
What are the chances they would call you right as we're in a recording?
Yeah, it's fucking crazy. They just happened to be done with Jeff's shit as we were making an episode.
We'll obviously have to bleep the numbers, but that was a good bit.
He was annoyed with me because Jeff was fucking...
Were you listening to Jeff as you were listening to him?
Well, I had my headphones in, yeah, and then Jeff just started saying numbers.
It was a long tracking, so I had to knock my headphones off,
and he was not thrilled when it took me like five times to write down the full tracking.
Do you not like annoying people like that?
No.
I felt bad.
Yeah.
You did sound remorseful.
Yeah, I was genuine.
You know, it's not my fault Jeff is dodging.
He doesn't know.
No, he has no idea.
Yeah.
My name is Jeff Ramsey.
I received a call from this number about a freight delivery.
Hmm.
Definitely not able to pick it up.
Unfortunately, I'm out of town next week week but i could receive it the following week i don't hear anything anymore i'm not even sure that other one
is a real address honestly the address wrong no the address isn't wrong all right sounds great
thank you yeah genius the address was wrong well yeah i got the address from you and you didn't
give it to him properly what do you mean whose address did you. And you didn't give it to him properly.
What do you mean?
Whose address did you just give it to?
I sent it to me.
No.
What do you think? You just changed the address.
What?
No, you didn't.
Jeff, you didn't do that.
What?
Why would I do that?
Oh, no, Andrew.
This is a disaster.
He's not even going to have to deal with the delivery.
He's redirected it before it even arrived.
That's crazy talk. Why would you do that? Why would I do that? That doesn't make any sense. He's not even gonna have to deal with the delivery. He's redirected it before it even arrived.
That's crazy talk.
Why would you do that?
Why would I do that?
That doesn't make any sense.
Why wouldn't you just take the... He's diverted the content.
He's not even avoiding the content.
He rerouted content.
That's not what happened at all.
I think that you're jumping to conclusions.
Why do you sound so smug?
I don't know.
Why do you?
I'm not smug.
I'm confused.
I'm not smug. I'm confused. You not smug. I'm confused. I'm not smug.
I'm confused.
You're smug.
You're confused.
I'm both.
No, he had my address wrong.
He was going to deliver it.
I'll be honest.
I don't even know it's a real address, what he had.
I don't know where Andrew got that from, but it definitely was not my address.
It is now.
So Andrew just got it.
Wait.
He got it into Austin, but that was about as far as it could go. Yeah, he was gonna send
it to a fucking fake address or somebody
three blocks over. I got it
from when you sent me the bat.
Yeah, you probably read it wrong.
Can you compare your notes?
Andrew seems very upset about this.
I am very upset. I talked to the
dude on the phone in front
of you guys.
I coordinated. He's bringing it a week from Monday. I am very upset. I talked to the dude on the phone in front of you guys. Yeah.
I coordinated.
He's bringing it a week from Monday.
So far away.
I know.
I told him I'm out of town next week.
Are you not?
Yeah.
Good point, Nick.
He also thought the delivery guy or the guy receiving it was called george ramsey but this
true what did you that's not on me you sent a porta potty to george ramsey at a different address
than mine no andrew you're you're not as good as at this than i thought thank god i saved the bit
oh shit no this is bullshit it would have just it would have it would have just languished
big ass pink porta potty would have just languished in some guy's yard.
Seven fucking streets over.
I would have never known.
View your order.
He's so upset.
I am upset.
This is an expensive gift for you,
Jeff.
And he's upset that he pissed off that guy.
Yeah.
While he's dealing with the damage he's doing to some poor old guy's sanity
over there.
Uh, Gavin, you know what the frustrating thing is about uh i'm gonna let andrew play with his tracking numbers
the uh one of the frustrating things about this podcast sometimes when we get stuck in these
recording in advance things which i that's my alarm i do understand is my fault that we're
having to record ahead next week yeah uh but like we release a bit like like Meat Bracelet or the NFT and then or a Don
Zimmer thing or a port-a-potty.
And then it's so long before we can talk about it again.
And then sometimes we get to talk about it again.
But then we still the audience because we're so far ahead.
The audience hasn't hit yet.
So we have like my point is I have no idea what we should be referencing or talking about
right now.
What would have landed with the audience?
They might want us.
They might be like fucking talk about that.
And we're not talking about it because I don't know.
Do I text you this?
The last one that came out,
I think David,
you know where Jeff lives.
It's the like,
I don't know.
I think the one that just came out is the one you hated.
Yeah.
And then it caused you to go ape shit with meat bracelets.
But it's like, I don't know if we ever,
like the Don Zimmer shirt came out.
We never talked about it, if it was a big deal or not.
We don't know if the fucking Vancouver child kicker thing
is a success.
We don't know if I saw.
We might be millionaires.
The NFT, my ham sandwich NFT might have
taken off and it might be
hanging in a gallery somewhere
and we don't even know. We're foolish.
I just texted you, Jeff. That is my
address. That's what was on the shipping
information. Nah, it's not the address he said
out loud. Well, he also called you George
so maybe. Yeah, I don't. I just don't think
he understands. And then when I corrected it, he said
that's not the address like well
you heard him it sounded like an old guy
on a landline that's all I'm saying
fuck that up okay
how do I get this because you wanted a
toilet this is so long in the making
yeah you're broken you're supposed to get this my you wanted a toilet this is so long in the making yeah your pipes were
broken you're supposed to get this my was pretty i was pretty clear that i didn't know you weren't
and i was like please do not send me a port-a-potty no over and over again no i don't remember that
i don't remember that at all that was a real okay i think we're good i think it's next not this
monday the following monday yeah apparently if you are, Jeff, if you are an NFT millionaire by the time this comes out, can we use some of that money for the budget?
Yeah.
Dude, if I'm an NFT millionaire, we're all NFT millionaires.
You know, for all I know, Gav, we might be the three of us.
I'll say, fuck it.
The five of us, we're a group the five of us might be in a
boardroom meeting right now with mark cuban going over the finer points of beef bracelet i don't
know it's true that might be why we have to move a future recording for that meeting we might be
in court right now dealing with a lawsuit from the estate of Don Zimmer. I have no idea what's going on.
You know what I mean?
I can't believe that happened.
I'm sorry.
I'm still like in the class.
I'm still lost.
I got a call from them while we're recording.
Right after I talked about pointing the crew at you, the bits.
Do you know who got a call from them right before you did
you dodged a call on this podcast i'm not gonna pick up the phone while i'm on the podcast i'm
a professional oh yeah oh yeah i didn't know it was because it's content and i thought we were
about content i didn't know i didn't know that it was them calling it was just a number i didn't
know who it was i feel like you have to yeah you have to pick up though in the contact and you're just being fucking naive you're pretending
i'm not briefly um going into the zimmer zone you said last time jeff that there was some
discussions about people trying to predict the next manager card that might have value has that
leaked into other managers yet or is it still mainly zim it's still zim as far as i know i
think i think for it to leak into other managers,
it would require a push by us.
And I don't know who the next manager would be,
although I will say, I will say,
and I'm not advocating that we...
First off, I don't want to turn this into a manager thing, right?
I think it should come naturally.
If it's going to leak to other people, it's even better.
It's like Inception.
It's like we just plant the idea
and then it just takes its own form.
Well, it's exactly.
It's like we didn't pick Zimmer, first of all.
Zimmer picked us.
If you think about it,
he picked us seven years after he died.
We were looking at,
we were going to be,
I think we were going to do Bobby Valentine or something.
And then Zimmer popped up
and then suddenly we were awash in the glow of Don Zimmer.
And it was a huge light bulb moment that was as big as his smiling, sunny cheeks.
And we realized that that was that was that was meant to be.
So we'll find the next Don Zimmer.
I don't think it's necessarily going to be Jim Leland or some other baseball coach, but,
you know, maybe it will.
Who knows?
A million dollars, Jeff, but you have to
receive the total amount
of chewing tobacco that has been spit
out of Don Zimmer's mouth in his life.
How do I receive it?
It just gets put on your front lawn.
Oh yeah, I'll do that. He's never gonna
receive that. I would do that. I would do that in a second.
You ever drink fucking
chewing tobacco? Like somebody else's
spit cup? No god no i did
that once in the army yeah it was instant instant vomit yeah i think we've talked about it before
probably on old podcasts that's also another problem with doing podcasts for like 20 years
is man you covered all your shit like in the first two years and then you've just spent the
last 18 saying it over again yeah oh and then things like a porta potty show up
and you just don't answer those calls.
You just reject everything related to it.
Yeah, it would have been way funnier
if a porta potty showed up and I took a picture of it
and then we put the picture up on the Instagram
and then we didn't have all this to talk about.
Did you not do anything?
We just dealt with two phone calls.
If I had answered that phone
the first 712 times they called,
we wouldn't have caught it on the
podcast. It would be in Eric's
yard right now is where it would be.
I had to have...
No, it wouldn't. It wouldn't. And I'll tell you why.
I'll tell you why. Because I didn't have the idea
to do that at all until
you pissed me off last episode.
You pissed me off last episode and that's when I got
the idea. In that moment, I had...
I gave you the idea. You gave me the idea in that moment I had the idea you gave me the idea
in the episode because you were mad at me
because I didn't receive the fucking
thing yet and because I didn't receive
it that gave you the idea
to give me the idea to give
Eric the porta potty which is brilliant
so you're all welcome I think the relationship
has deteriorated check
the fucking tapes
in the snow.
The snow episode, the first snow episode.
I said, Gavin, how was your pipes?
And Gavin did not want to answer how his pipes were.
And I suggested you give him a toilet.
That's when this started.
What about my pipes?
Back in the snow episode, first episode after the snow where I revealed the porta potty to Jeff.
Jeff was not thrilled about it.
I said, Gavin, how are your pipes?
Maybe you need a porta potty. To which Jeff was not thrilled about it. I said, Gavin, how are your pipes? Maybe you need a porta potty.
To which Jeff was very happy
about the suggestion.
It is not my fault you then forgot
that you had that concept
or that you embraced it
and then remembered it weeks later.
That idea has existed long ago.
I don't remember why we're arguing.
Yeah, but that wasn't...
Now I have the idea as vendetta. that was to help gavin this is to get
even with eric and and and nick for existing i feel like i've been a bystander to the whole
port but i've just been enjoying it on the side that's part of your that's that's part of your
guilt i don't really understand why why would you get even with me i want to get even with everybody
but you specifically said getting even with me i don want to get even with everybody. But you specifically
said getting even with me. I don't know.
Because you're in front of me right now.
Yeah, why not?
It was you or Nick. I mean, Nick's not
a sock guy. The bench isn't
deep for me to
point my anger at here.
That was great.
You're going to have a port-a-potty. It's really cool, really cool dude it's pink it's big and pink it's
awesome i'm excited for you you've got to do at least one episode inside yes i think that's all
i need yes i think i think that's a great idea too and i'll do it and then you'll do your episode
in your yard and then eric can eric can produce it from the porta potty once
and then Nick can do whatever
Nick does. I think it's harder
to mess with Andrew because he doesn't
have a yard to get
stuff dumped. No.
And we're not even sure what his fucking name is.
His apartment isn't even attached to the
building. No, it would never get to me.
That's the funniest part. It would just be in a
lobby and I wouldn't know it was there.
You'd have to come out wearing a towel i would i'm not going anywhere right now don't send anything to me i'm not getting it do you have a wheelchair no i should get crutches though i keep
thinking about that crutches would be good wheelchair would be no good because i have
several levels unless i build ramps i could do ramps but then how do i get you should get the you should get the little like the stair chair like the old lady and gremlins
yeah that could be fun yeah do they make those that like go up and down or is it just straight
i don't want to know they go up and then they the people just die up there well if there's
gremlins they die i want like a loop one that'd A loop? Yeah, like a track that kind of like goes up and around and then down.
I think it's more efficient to go up the- to go down the one you just came up.
It's supposed to- going across the stairs and back down the other side.
No, I wanna do- I wanna go from wall to wall.
You're like, ah, fuck, I forgot that- I forgot my glasses on that table. I gotta go around again.
I wanted to be be like an on
rails, like when you're on tracks in a video
game segment. I want both walls covered.
I want to go all over the place. If we could get
a stairlift company to build
basically like a
railed race course around your
house, going all through each
floor, that'd be brilliant. Yeah. You could
just stay on. I'm all about it. You wouldn't
ever have to get off that chair. If you need a mug from the kitchen, just wait until it passes just stay on. I'm all about it. You wouldn't ever have to get off that chair.
If you need a mug from the kitchen,
just wait until it passes the kitchen door.
Reach in, grab it.
Get some water from the bathroom as it goes by.
That's the perfect life for you.
Andrew on rails.
That's what you call it.
That's a great product.
Andrew on rails.
I would even use bits for that.
Life on rails.
Oh.
That's fancy.
I like this.
This sounds like a TLC show
What would be your preferred speed for like a full loop of the house? Oh?
Would you want like a five-minute loop? Oh, no, that's way too slow five minutes. That's too slow Yeah, slow those things move. Yeah, that's too slow five minute. No, I haven't well
Yeah, I mean I've seen them, but I've never really noticed the slowness of them
slow five minutes no i haven't well yeah i mean i've seen them but i've never really noticed the slowness of them i've never seen them on a cool track either though so that's true we boost the
speed up a little bit it could be pretty good like minute loops i think you'll be holding us
i want to haul ass on this chair you'll be pulling some g's around the corners
that'd be great i'm all about this.
I support this fully.
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To take it back, Icom to learn more. benefit talking about his whole fight strategy his whole game plan we kind of nailed it going off of memory he wanted to bull rush pedro martinez and knock him over with his head
and then punch him that was his game plan i've never heard anyone have that attack plan he's
like i'm i was gonna run as fast as i could which wasn't fast and i was gonna put my head in his
chest and i was gonna punch him in the face that's I think that would take me down. You think, Oh,
Don Zimmer could take you down for sure.
Absolutely.
You know who another,
I know we're not going to get caught up on managers,
but the,
the beauty of Don Zimmer is that he's such a fucking character.
And he also looks like if Popeye got stung by a wasp,
there is.
And I think we may have even mentioned it when he died but tommy lasorda was also another
great great great baseball manager who was a lunatic and who had who was a crazy character
i feel like there needs to be some sort of entity that that that exists to highlight and showcase
the antics of old dead baseball managers. It's like a lost
art. Yeah. I just I just I feel
like there's so many of those like so many of those great
characters that you don't see anymore. You know
nobody's nobody's putting like
shoe polish mustaches on and going and trying
to do secretly coach anymore. Not
in 2021.
No, that era of professional
sports seems to be behind us. Yeah, what put
an end to that?
Why is this?
Oh, is this a fall video?
Please tell me it's a fall video. Let me load
this up. Love a good fall.
After being hit by a bat, was it like
thrown? Oh, please tell
me it's thrown. Oh, what a hit.
Oh, the bat shattered.
Is he playing?
No, I think he's coaching
He was coaching
Do they show an angle of what happened?
Yeah they need to
Oh fuck
He got whopped
It looks like It looks like a weeble wobble falling over.
He went down.
You know, like at the end of The Matrix,
where Neo's on the minigun,
and he's just mowing down agents in the water.
It looked like that, the way he went over.
He went down like he got shot it didn't even look like he was trying to catch it look like he was like waving it off like
by the way uh in the process of you know we talked about the falls. We mentioned that Kelsey Grammer
fall, which people have talked about, I guess, a couple
times on this podcast.
But people started sending in their
favorite falls. Did you guys see? I'd never
seen it before. But did you guys see
the Travis Scott one falling?
No. Travis Scott
falling in auto-tune? Hold on a second.
You gotta listen to it, though, because that's the point. Hold on a second. You got to listen to it though, because that's an auto-tune.
Okay.
Hold on a second.
I'll make sure this is it.
How many Travis Scott auto-tunes could there be of him?
There's two different versions.
I'm trying to find that.
Okay.
I got it.
This is it.
Yeah,
there it is.
He went down like a bowling pin.
Like there was no,
he had no strength in his legs.
Oh,
you found it.
Yeah.
We should start a
face youtube playlist where people can we really should stuff that's a great idea that's a great
idea watch that one with sound okay i don't know and i didn't do it the auto-tune sound doesn't do
it oh wait this is the i'm gonna say the wrong one this is is this one. Shit. I have two. This is a better one.
This is a better one.
Oh, goodness.
Eric got a good one.
The Eric one is great.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
What's the third one?
This is your third.
I think.
Yeah.
OK.
You said the worst one.
Yeah, I did.
I had time to figure out which one was the best.
And you still said the worst one.
Here's why.
I didn't realize there were two versions of that. I just knew that it
was from that angle. Okay. Is that not actually what the sound that came out? I
think it is. How's this two versions of it then? I don't know. Do they sound
different? They do. The second one is my favorite. The second one is the best one.
Anyway, I don't know who said that to us on Twitter but I saw it the other day and I thought
that was uh that's definitely up there for me that's a great fall it is a great Tommy Lasorda
I'm just gonna I just want to watch Tommy Lasorda clips the rest of the day of him falling over I
could just watch that on loop is there a gif there has to be a gif of that that would bring me joy
I've never seen someone fall so easily
so we need a face youtube playlist that's a great idea that is a fantastic idea we just keep it up
today every few weeks does it have to be things we talk about on the shark we just throw in
find a weird thing i don't know i guess i care one way or the other okay gavin's still thinking
about it though no i appreciate the thought just let us know when
you get there okay
yeah you think
you want to go get
another snack
I think it's been
decided within the
group
has it
oh did I tell you
guys did you guys
see that thing I
sent last night I
bought 20 boxes of
89 Fleer to try to
get more face cards
oh yeah
20 sealed boxes
yeah they're gonna
be black box
yeah I'm sure they
are but
how much does that
cost I bought it on Goodwill so I think I paid boxes yeah they're gonna be black box yeah i'm sure they are but how much does that cost uh i
bought it on goodwill so i think i paid i think i paid 100 bucks yeah whatever that is five bucks
five bucks a box or something have you opened any of them no i haven't received them yet i just
bought them yesterday when i oh okay it'll be a while I feel like uh the other rare one in that is the Randy Johnson
Marlboro car yeah yeah yeah that's even rarer than the Billy Ripken I think though I believe so
I think it's a really limited run because I know that when the one like you bought us those boxes
and uh I got a Randy Johnson but it was it was uh it had already been edited what's the last do
they still make error cards
like that anymore i'm trying to think like what was the most recent great error card um i don't
know if there's a recent great one but there's one in this year's 21 hoops where um i don't know
like some player auto porter or somebody has a jeremy lamb on the back instead of them i believe but it's like just
that kind of like boring yeah different front from the back yeah i've gotten like a bonus card with
the wrong team logo on it but it's like as far as like a great i don't feel like they make the same
is it because they're not making them in the same volume i wonder or like what i guess i don't know
or maybe the just the quality control is a lot higher. That could be it.
Yeah.
Oh.
Ay, ay, ay.
So now that we've cut that conversation,
where did we leave before we were cut off?
You could go into a new subject.
Oh, yeah?
Okay.
I'm on it.
Like, the way, Gavin, your hummus thing in the beginning,
or whatever you had,
I've been like that ever since that phone call.
That's just why, like, I can't.
It's going to take me a while to wrap my head around that Texas called. called we organized this port-a-potty thing it's finally gonna happen how do you have an american number by the way oh for the poster do we want
to talk about that back to the child i mean just in general when i text you i'm not texting a
canadian number we discussed this remember that episode He was calling me from his LA number or whatever.
Yeah, I forgot I made that because I did a prank where I told somebody that we're going to be on Judge Judy.
And so I had a California number.
Wait, so if I'm texting Canada every time I text you, is that charging me for every text?
No, it shouldn't be.
I mean, on most plans, it's free.
I have free texting internationally.
Part of my plan.
I can't tell you what's part of your plan.
Would it make a difference?
If you had to pay to talk to Andrew, would you not?
I don't know. We had that run where we were texting non-stop.
I bet that cost me like 80 bucks.
We might have another run.
I feel like we go on texting runs
when we don't have an episode that week. That seems to be the pattern that I've noticed. We don't have another run. I feel like we go on texting runs when we don't have an episode that week.
That seems to be the pattern that I've noticed.
When you don't have a show.
What have you guys been texting about most recently?
Not like interesting show stuff, I'd say.
A lot about Hitman, the game.
Yeah, a lot about Hitman.
I'd say, yeah, not like fun.
I opened my text to Andrew the other day,
and I found something that I was going to text, but I forgot to send.
And then I just erased it.
What was it?
I was annoyed about, you know how like some games, they use the name of the game in the game?
Like if you're playing Uno, it's like you shout Uno.
Yeah.
Like if you're playing Snooker, you could snooker somebody.
It's like when you block them from hitting their other balls.
I was playing Scrabble.
You know what it's called when you use every tile in Scrabble?
No.
Is it called a Scrabble?
It's called Bingo.
No.
Is it really?
Yeah, it just annoyed me.
I was like, you got perfect.
It's like a term for using all the freaking tiles,
and they didn't call it a Scrabble?
No.
Insanity to me.
Anyway, I typed that out. I read it back. i thought there's no point in saying this to someone no i'm outraged what is i couldn't
believe it nothing scrabble isn't anything it's just the game when you google what is a scrabble
the top people also also ask is what is scrabble all about
is what is Scrabble all about?
I think we kind of know what Scrabble is at this point.
What's the deal with Scrabble?
God damn.
Yeah, I was irrationally annoyed.
It's a perfect term for that.
You Scrabble someone.
Nope.
Bingo.
50 points though.
What the fuck?
Why?
Is it an additional 50 points
for using all seven letters?
Additional 50 bonus points
for a bingo in Scrappy.
In addition to whatever.
That's a hell of a...
What was the score?
Do you remember?
No.
Did you get a bingo?
I did get a bingo.
I can't remember what it was.
You don't remember what it was.
Did you win that game?
Yeah.
Were you playing against Meg?
Yeah.
Boy, you guys have a lot of fun.
That's cool.
We didn't have power for four days.
There wasn't a lot of...
We couldn't play snooker.
Listen, you're being very defensive from me
saying you guys have fun.
Sounds like you're having a blast over there.
Scrabble is fun.
You gotta bingo.
With someone you like...
I was the best.
Bingoing someone in Scrabble that you like,
it's an amazing feeling.
When was the last time you did that?
I don't know that I've ever bingoed anybody ever.
It sounds weird as a verb. I don't know that I've ever bingoed anybody ever. It sounds weird as a verb.
I don't know that I've ever bingoed.
I do think that you're right.
It sounds...
I think that that should be a shirt.
What did you say?
Bingoing somebody in Scrabble feels really good.
It's one of the weirder sentences, I'll be honest.
What? Does the game immediately end I'll be honest. What?
Does the game immediately end when you bingo?
What would be the disadvantage?
Why would it be a point value if it ended?
It's the golden snitch of the game.
Yeah, I thought it was the golden snitch.
Because I'm on a Scrabble subreddit,
and the person's like, should I play the bingo here?
And they're all having strategy talk of like,
I don't know if you should play it yet.
I don't like, why wouldn't you?
Well, you could potentially get a better score with two different words.
Wait a minute.
Andrew,
do you not play Scrabble?
I mean,
I've played Scrabble.
I wouldn't say.
So,
you know,
there's like,
I,
I assume a word score.
Maybe the bingo would,
would take you away from those bonuses and it wouldn't be worth playing.
Or if you hold onto it for a little while or just try to throw some easy
vowels out that,
you know,
you'll replace,
you can wait till the board moves in a direction where you can pop the bingo down and get a bigger fucking payday, maybe?
I think they need to adjust the value of the bingo then, because the bingo should be like a huge play.
You should just have a massive...
50 points is pretty big.
Pretty big.
Yeah, well then you should always play the bingo.
Like, that's just the weird thing.
Like, I don't want to play a small word with a three-time score.
I just want the bingo.
weird thing like i don't want to play a small word with a three-time score i just want to be if the bingo was only available over like if a six letter word could go over a triple word score
away from the bingo you probably want to do that yeah it should be a rule where if you have a bingo
you have to play it how do you how do you know if you it's not about like you know i get it i get it
i'm saying though if if if know, there should be no-
How do they know you know?
How do they know you know?
How does anyone check that?
They can't see you.
Have you ever played Scrabble?
I have played Scrabble.
Nobody should be lying in the game of Scrabble.
I don't-
It's a gentleman's game.
You know what though?
They shouldn't be allowed to use bingo.
As a word?
Yeah, it's taken.
You yell bingo when you get a bingo.
That's too confusing. Maybe we just don't know what bingo as a word yeah it's taken you yell bingo when you get a bingo that's too confusing maybe we just don't know what bingo means maybe bingo actually means like completion what does bingo
mean like using up one's inventory could mean bingo hold on i'm looking it up a game in which
players mark off numbers on cards used to express satisfaction or surprise at a sudden positive event or outcome.
So I guess technically...
I want to know if there's a Scrabble in bingo.
Yeah, right?
Like in bingo, you should be able to Scrabble.
Yeah, you could Scrabble other people.
Yeah.
Like if you get a bingo...
In bingo, if you get a bingo without using the free space
that should be a scrabble could i talk about i don't think we'll ever talk about bingo again
can i talk about the worst prank i've probably ever done to anybody didn't deserve it at all
it's bingo related it is bingo related i think it's i think you just played it on the audience
by saying the last time we'll ever talk about bingo again because that pretty much ensures that there's going to be a bingo podcast at some
point in the future we can make face bingo I can't see us we could Andrew blowing out an ankle
has to be at least two spaces though yeah and if you get if you get a bingo with Andrew blowing
out his ankle that's a scrabble we'll make bingo card now, and it will be played against episode 100,
but it will be so far out that we won't remember
what we put on the bingo card,
and we'll see if anyone gets a bingo.
And then we'll be saddened by how little the jokes have changed.
We're like, oh, this shit all still applies exactly.
Fucked up the intro? Bingo.
Oh, God.
What were you saying andrew well yeah bingo so i used to play bingo with my family and you get very heated we got a whole wheel got a bingo wheel and when i
said it was my mom my grandma and i and i was probably i don't know 15 does canada play weird
american ruled bingo where there's like letters as well no it's just well yeah yeah
it's like b4 whatever i'm trying to remember i don't remember if the balls had that or not we
went through a run of bingo where we played it a lot and i was super competitive and i'd get really
mad if i didn't win even though it's a random game this is like i'm gonna win this game and
we're playing and i lost the first one to my mom and she was very happy.
And the second game we played, I was like, I'm going to get you back.
She won a second game in a row.
She started celebrating more and then she won a third game in a row
and it was a full on celebration.
And internally, I was mad.
She's like, I'm the bingo queen.
I'm the bingo queen.
I'm like, yeah, you're the bingo queen.
That's so great.
So I waited until everyone went to bed and I went to her purse and I thought, well, if
you're the bingo queen, you should be able to play bingo whenever you want to because
you're the bingo queen.
You should be able to defend your crown at any moment.
So I emptied her entire purse out and I put all of the bingo stuff in the purse.
I put the cards in.
I put all the chips we would use to lay the cards
i even put the fucking wheel in you know when like you're trying to fit this the last thing
in a suitcase you have to like sit in it and it kind of becomes spring-loaded i barely got the
wheel in but the cards were everywhere so i do this i'm like great i'm gonna wake up tomorrow
i'm gonna say hey you're the bingo queen and we'll laugh about the purse uh next day comes i wake up great morning just a great day brush my teeth enjoying life reading my emails then i remember i did this
i totally forgot so i run out my room she's nowhere on the upper level run downstairs she's
not she's not in the kitchen or the dining room so i checked the one last spot that confirmed she's
still here car is not in the garage she is left she did not notice that
i had taken everything out of her purse she she would keep her keys in a drawer so she'd have no
reason to check the purse for the keys so she would have got the keys grabbed her purse left
she doesn't have her license any way to pay for anything i took everything out of the purse all
she has is this bingo stuff she apparently went to the
grocery store to buy the week's worth of groceries that day and i'm just sitting on the stairs just
i know i'm gonna get yelled at she went to she filled a cart of items went went to the front
the guy asked could you could you yeah like you gotta to pay this. She opened it. The fucking wheel shot up.
Cards fly everywhere.
Chips fly everywhere.
She is so embarrassed.
She's the most lovely person.
Doesn't deserve any of this.
Just chips flying left and right.
The guy's like, what's going on?
She just leaves the cart and walks.
She just walks away.
Leaving cards on the floor.
She just leaves the store.
Couldn't shop there for a while.
As soon as
i heard the garage door open i was like oh god and i got yelled at real good meanest prank i think
i've done to anyone who didn't deserve oh did she did she see the humor in it or was she just
oh no no she was mad she was real it's probably the most in trouble i've ever been it was it was
immediately as soon as she opened the door i was already i was like i'm sorry i'm sorry i didn't want to do that that's not what i wanted to do
i forgot i'm so sorry i slept in no that was not part of the plan she was outraged but what became
the genius of this prank is that we would use these little plastic chips and they stayed in
her purse for months so i don't think i've played bingo with chips or a wheel.
Like, what bits of bingo are you on about?
Well, you know, like, instead of pressing the card
with the fucking stamp,
we had little plastic chips that looked like nickels.
Oh, yeah, all, like, reusable.
Yeah, reusable plastic chips for the card.
What's the wheel?
So I scattered them.
The bingo wheel, like, you spin a wheel,
and the ball comes out of the wheel,
and that's how you call the balls.
You're not aware of the bingo wheel?
I mean, I wouldn't...
I've seen, like, the little, like, cylindrical cage thing. Yeah, but it's a wheel. It's like a call the balls you're not aware of the bingo wheel i mean i wouldn't i've seen like the little like cylindrical cage thing yeah but it's a wheel it's like a crank
wheel it was a small it was like it was a wheel it was big but it wasn't huge he's thinking it's
it's like our thing gav it's what that's what we do for real it's just a smaller uh do you think
that like after she walked out the door the one like bagger employee looked to the checker and
was like what the fuck was that
and the checkout guy was like i don't know but that lady's kid comes in here all the time and
is constantly shoplifting so i'm not surprised i've never shoplifted but oh you should um probably
start your shopping challenge soon andrew the shopping only from the ends oh i should yeah
yeah once i'm able to leave my place i will yeah
yeah i'll do that but what would happen is because i left these chips everywhere throughout her purse
uh like three months later she was in another grocery store doing self-checkout tired long day
after work just trying to pay for the stuff and she wasn't paying attention she put like three
chips in the machine and the machine malfunctioned and locked up and was like emergency.
You need help.
So she had to go to customer like the customer service area.
Someone had the manager came over with a key and opened it and had to like give her the chips back.
And she was like the manager gave off.
You're trying to steal from us vibe with these would never do that.
It just made her so upset but like
every few it would be like oh she accidentally puts them in a tip jar at starbucks like it would
just it was an ongoing it followed her for like a year these chips it's probably the the most
ongoing prank i've ever done and it didn't at all deserve to happen to the person you ever do the
the big shop for your family do you ever go and do that? No, I've never done the big family shop.
Interesting.
Have you?
Well, yeah, but I just hope that they...
I mean, I worked in a supermarket, so it was easy for me.
I just want you to be in the middle of the shopping from the ends challenge
when you get asked for the first time to provide for the family.
Just so they're confused.
What do I gain from this? It's like trying to explain it no it's funny it was a funny thing i agreed to we gained nothing from this there's no game you can
you can use you know one of those litter picking sticks like if you can reach it from the end
even if it is down the aisle i think you have that available to you as well i don't know because
he'll you got to be careful with andrew man because he'll find a way to take advantage of that and he'll have a stick that
telescopes out to the entire length of the fucking aisle and then it'll be like oh but it was too
heavy so we put a wheel on the bottom of it and then it's kind of the next thing you know it's
like he's got access to anything in the store he's eventually just got a shopping cart with like a
handle yeah it's like a fishing line, like I'm cranking it out.
I don't know.
I feel like it should be somewhat skill-based.
Okay.
So feel free to get inventive.
Yeah, okay.
I'll think about it.
I'll get a clarification on the rules before I do this.
Yeah, if I need to make a judgment, just let me know and give me a nice summary.
I will.
Yeah, I will.
I'll make sure you you give a
good ruling and it won't go on for days all right i think we're good that's a good episode yeah
it feels okay that's like a strange one i think the highs were really high and then just the texas
call was like a fucking curveball that was brilliant that was probably one of my favorite
moments it's a crazy especially when jeff was just screaming numbers and andrew was genuinely getting all caught up in the yeah
i had to knock my headphones off jeff because you were doing that and he was getting irritated
repeating it what an on a much like tommy lasorda did not see that comic the best part about that
too is i did not not only did i not need that fucking tracking number i didn't use it you wrote that never nothing he knew exactly who i was when i fucking called he was
like oh you where the fuck have you been i was like i don't know hanging out without a tracking
number i guess we'll be back uh and you'll have a port-a-potty next time because we sort of i guess
i mean it'll be it's a good episode in that like it's one of those weird ones where we set
a bunch of shit out into the world and then it hasn't come back to us yet.
So we have no idea what to respond to.
I really can't believe you told him to wait a week when you are perfectly capable of receiving
it next week.
How do you know I am?
Maybe I am out of town because you said you're not out of town.
Did I told us?
When did I say that?
In this podcast.
I was probably kidding.
I don't know.
FFaceBits at gmail.com.