F**kface - Gavin's Chocolate Confidence // We're a Food Podcast Maybe [74]
Episode Date: October 27, 2021Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about apple snobs vs Apple snobs, Geoff throwing the baseball on saturday maybe or maybe not, Gavin catches Geoff in an embarrassment, out nuggeting the Nuggets, and more.... Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to ffacebits@gmail.com Sponsored by Honey (http://joinhoney.com/face), Trade Coffee (http://drinktrade.com/face), and HelloFresh HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face14 and use code face14). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This is a Rooster Teeth production.
Did you stop?
I sort of.
I don't know.
Why'd you stop?
Well, he threw Craig in there.
I asked Gavin.
We always kind of start early.
Who knows?
What Andrew and I were talking about definitely before we started, Gavin,
is that he asked if I went through Florida
in a wheelchair,
and I was explaining that I didn't,
but that we very carefully planned
the week's events from light to heavy.
We did the shit that could hurt me
on the last day
so that jack could be
sure to get as much of his content filmed as necessary so all the max shakage was at the end
yeah max shakage at the end it culminated with me almost throwing up on the incredible hulk ride
now it's pretty much it are there like theme park snobs you know like the same way that there's a
wine snob of sort like Like, is there the equivalent
of that for theme parks?
I think it's very snobby.
Dude, there's all kinds of snobs.
You know who I bet they are?
You know who I bet the worst are?
Apple snobs.
Apple snobs?
Yeah, oh, fuck you,
apple snobs.
Well, wait, what do you mean?
I was very aggressive,
but I realized that
could go a separate way.
That is a statement
I might actually agree with.
They're like,
someone's an apple snob. Now the with. No, no, no, no.
Now the context, I thought you were leading
into something very specific, a conversation
we had. That was a real
moment on the podcast right there, audience.
Well, I was processing that could
mean two things, and one of those I agree with.
You just jumped in front of Tim
Cook, but no one fired a bullet.
No, I would not jump in front of Tim Cook.
I'm letting that bullet fly in that scenario.
Jesus.
Terrible.
I don't want anything.
Listen, you're the one who fired the shot.
I'm just saying I'm not a big Apple guy in that way.
I'm a huge fruit Apple guy, not a big Apple computer person.
Although I use one, but there's a snobbery in the Apple products.
It's a mess.
It's a disaster.
Can I say, I was referring to fruit.
It was a fruit Apple comment, right?
It was a fruit Apple comment.
I forgot that Apple computers existed.
I was not expecting that response.
I'll be honest.
I forgot we have an Apple thing.
I immediately went to the iPhone.
Really? See, I thought because we had a whole conversation about this on text i'd love to hear eric's opinion on a specific issue we were talking about because i think it's insane that
that you don't don't think about that but it's a whole thing because then i have i'm sitting i'm
looking at an apple computer right now so it clicked in i didn't know what you meant i agree
apple snobbery can be terrible apple snobs for the fruit completely justified it's a top fruit love an apple it is an elite
fruit and the the comment i'd like to argue not argue but bring up the eric jeff said that apples
don't have a range of textures he questioned this oh that's crazy that's absolutely have a range of textures yeah there's like that's why they're the word mealy exists to me because when you eat an apple oh
that just means bad apple if it's mealy i just feel like it's no that's no but that's a texture
types but that's different texture like that look there's apples that are more mealy than other
apples there's apples that are firmer some some that are softer. There's different apple textures, for sure.
Listen, when we go to firm or soft, I'm
assuming it's how ripe it is.
No, it is specific, different
types. I would say like a Granny
Smith is a hard, crispy
apple, but like a Braeburn or something
it's a little bit softer. There's not as
much resistance when you're going into it.
Absolutely. I'll be honest, I don't pay attention
to texture on apples. They all
feel the same to me. I pay attention to flavor.
I will say this, that makes sense to me
because you're the biggest banana guy I know
and I think bananas have
dog shit texture and it's my main issue
with the banana. I think their texture fucking
stinks. I hate bananas. Dude, can I tell you
can I tell you
something fucking crazy happened to me
I didn't even think this was content, but you just reminded me something crazy happened to me in orland or in orlando last week
i was out there for the other podcast and uh we were you know we're doing the universal stuff
and the hotel we had we stayed in uh doesn't have room service and my whole plan was not to leave
the hotel room so that i could rest my back, you know, just lay down the entire time, only get up to go to the, to do my job and then immediately come back, ignore Jack and producer
Ben, uh, don't want anything to do with them and just lay down and rest, uh, so that I could be a
hundred percent for face. Right. And, uh, so we stopped the first night at a little convenience
store and bought a bunch of groceries so that we could eat in the room. And I bought a bunch of bananas and I opened one up and I had a banana the next day and I almost threw up. I thought I had
COVID for a second because I have never had, and please, you're going to think this is a weird
thing to say. I've never had a banana taste bad before. I've had bananas go bad. I've had bananas
like turn mushy on the backside and be black or whatever.
And that's not good.
You take a bite of that.
You don't realize you're like,
because the bananas turned right.
But I've never had a fresh,
ripe banana taste like shit.
It was the craziest thing.
It tasted like it had like a sweet taste to it.
I almost vomited.
It was the,
it was the grossest thing.
And then because I could smell it,
I smelled it in my hotel room
the entire time I was there.
I was uneasy the entire week
I was in Florida
because I had to take
the banana downstairs
and throw it in
like the little trash can
next to the dumpster
to get it or next to the elevator
to get it further away from me.
Did you buy a plantain by accident?
No, no.
I've had plantains before, dude.
This was a banana.
It's like a water.
I was gonna say Chiquita.
I don't know what the brand was,
but it was definitely,
it might've been Dolmonte.
See, I feel like bananas have the most,
you get good mileage from a banana.
Like a banana can physically turn pretty far
and like go almost all black,
but it's still an edible banana inside.
That's the nice thing about a banana, right?
There's not a range of flavor like an apple. A banana is a banana. That's the nice thing about a banana, right? There's not a range of flavor like an apple.
A banana is a banana.
It's always going to taste like a banana,
which is why at 46 years old,
when I put a banana in my mouth
that did not taste like a banana,
it freaked me the fuck out.
You know those like small marshmallow
banana candy type things?
I'd like to think that they just made
full-sized versions of those,
and that's what Jeff ate.
He's just baffled by this.
Isn't that what old bananas were? They were the
flavor of artificial banana now
or something? Yes, the original
banana flavor is
gone now, I think, right? Or it tastes like
banana candy and then real bananas
no longer taste like old bananas
used to. I wish I could weigh in and be
like, yeah, I kind of agree with these banana
opinions or like, yeah, that's never happened to me. I
fucking hate bananas. I never eat banana.
Like, I can't, there's no point of reference.
What do you not like about them? Just the
texture? I think the texture, like,
the taste is like a, I don't know,
maybe a 5 out of 10. Like, the taste
is very average to me, and the texture's
terrible. It's an awful texture.
Don't enjoy it at all. I would,
we should start ranking fruit
because i would say a banana is a is an eight to me like and it's never a seven never a nine it's
only ever an eight because it always tastes the same but i would give the texture of a banana
like a nine and a half are you serious i like i like a banana i like chewing on a banana yeah
banana is a top tier fruit and as we were discussing recently andrew also good because you can drop it and keep eating it no there's like there are definite perks to the
banana you can eat it without actually touching the fruit that's great i'm not even going to argue
that it's not a good fruit like i people love the banana it's a very popular fruit but i think
texture wise it's a fucking disaster and it goes lower because but you like a brownie you like a cupcake what the
fuck does that mean they're completely different things if i if nobody bites into a brownie and
it's like oh this is the same as a banana it's squishy there's like a little bit of resistance
a bit more dense there's a fucking chalkiness to bananas and like it just gets all over the
like there's nothing the per bite of a
banana does not compare to the per bite taste of a brownie or any of the other things you list i
feel like you've had a banana once and it was jeff's one yeah it was just like a one-off yeah
or you're going off a 14 year old memory of a banana dude if you put a banana in a smoothie
i'm fine with that taste i think it's a staple of a smoothie like that.
If we're going to evaluate fruit as a whole, you need to factor in other ways to use it.
In a smoothie, you need it.
But just if I'm eating it out of a grocery store, grabbing it from the shelf, eating
a banana, the texture sucks.
It's a terrible texture.
If you want to factor in other uses, the banana may be the most useful fruit of all time,
because anytime you're in a chase and you're
trying to run away from a cop or a villain or a mountain lion you can fucking throw it behind you
and you're guaranteed to you're guaranteed freedom that's the best thing an apple can do is keep the
doctor away for one more day also they stop you up if you got the squits what if you got the runs
what do you mean what are you are you saying what I think you're saying?
Yeah.
What?
Yes I am.
What?
Go ahead.
No, explain further.
Well, you know what I'm talking about.
Well, no, I kind of do, but I just am stunned that you immediately- that's where your brain
went as a use for it.
Oh, it's an absolute go-to.
If you're shitting liquid, if you've been shitting liquid for a couple of days, get
a couple of bananas down.
I've always been sorted out by- Okay, you were okay you were not no there this was a miscommunication
i greatly misinterpreted what you were advising what did you think i thought you were gonna
shove it up your ass this was another apple conversation and it was awesome to watch
i thought that you were talking about corkscrewing your asshole with the banana. Come on.
I thought you were being facetious.
I thought you were joking.
Not that you were saying if you eat it, it helps with the sore stomach.
I thought you were making a joke.
That's why I was like, really?
You went there immediately?
We clearly haven't recorded in a while.
We're all up.
I'm talking about iPhones.
You're talking about eating fruit.
I'm talking about eating bananas.
You're talking about shoving them up my ass.
We need to get on the same page. How we how do we get in sync we are out of i'm like we're faced out of sync stop riding roller coasters i was thinking about was it beverly
hills cop where he like takes the banana and shoves it in the car and it fucks the car up so that's
where i was thinking of banana insertion and then you said that so it's just that's where my brain
went and i was baffled.
I did use the phrase stops you up, I guess.
Yeah, also...
But I asked that from a solidifying fecal matter point of view.
Also, bananas are high in potassium, and that's good if you...
Like, you should eat a banana before you...
Oh, shit, you're going to do your marathon at some point, right, Andrew?
Yeah, sure.
You should eat some bananas before it.
It'll help you with your...
What do you think we're further from? The marathon or Jeff throwing a
ball? Oh, dude! Jeff throwing a ball.
I'm gonna throw that
ball pretty soon. I'm almost 100%.
I'm close. Hey, how about this?
Gav, are you around this weekend?
Yeah. Well... Let's throw the ball.
Okay. On Saturday?
Sure, if you want to, if you're free.
Yeah. Alright, we'll throw the ball
Saturday. That was quick. I thought we were months out.
Yeah, it seemed months out.
You said like December was sort of the time.
Well, I wanted some time to stretch and get my body ready,
but I can't take too long because I have to allow for the idea
that I might have another catastrophic and pointless injury in between,
and I don't want to keep kicking this down the road forever.
So I'd rather set a shitty baseline and they just have greater improvement
than do it properly.
Andrew, do you want to run a marathon on Saturday?
No, no, I don't.
Well, it looks like I won that.
I feel like you've lost your confidence.
Yeah.
Well, no, I just, I don't, listen,
I don't buy that Jeff's throwing the baseball on Saturday.
If he throws it on Saturday Saturday will you run the marathon
on the next Saturday
sure I'll start on the phone
well no wait wait a second because we're going to talk about
another thing that might lead into another
thing that you don't know about I'll do it
I'll do it after the
Saturday at well yeah Saturday
after the thing we'll talk about later
but what about your shoulder then you have to check
your shoulder did you already go to the doctor?
Are you all clear?
Are you medically clear?
Oh, because of the hernia?
Yes.
Yeah, I'm on the fence about whether I'm going to follow up on that or not.
It was such an important detail last time.
I know.
Hadn't it been affecting you like your entire life?
Yeah, your shoulder's been fucked for years.
For a couple of years it has, yeah.
No, that's a hernia that my shoulder has been fucked for a while.
That's different. I can't do fucked for a while. That's different.
I can't do anything about my shoulder.
It's arthritis.
I could get a cortisone shot if I need to,
which will probably happen after I throw the ball.
Probably have to get a big shot of cortisone in my shoulder.
That'll be fun.
But yeah, I'm prepared to do it
because I care about this podcast.
So on Saturday, I can mark on my calendar
that you will throw this ball on Saturday.
We will get a number for it.
The only thing that could get in the way
of me, oh, F1 is this weekend.
Never mind.
I gotta go to F1 this weekend.
F1 is, okay, no, it's not every weekend.
It's like every few weekends.
What do you mean you're going to F1?
No, it's in Austin, dude.
It's in Austin.
Oh, it's in Austin?
I'm going to F1 in Austin this weekend.
Yeah, no, absolutely.
Yeah, I have weekend tickets.
So if I can throw it, like, I don't know what the schedule is, but if we can throw it before or after F1, we'll do it. Otherwise, I'm gonna to F1 in Austin. Yeah, I have weekend tickets. So if I can throw it, like, I don't know
what the schedule is, but if we can throw it before or after
F1, we'll do it. Otherwise, I'm at F1.
See, Gavin, you're giving me shit about not committing
to Saturday two minutes later.
Jeff's bumping it. We've already moved over.
I just forgot about F1, but I still want to fit it in.
I still want to fit it in. Do it at the F1
track. Do you have tickets?
No.
Well, it's going to be hard for you to fucking be there then isn't it
all right before now that we're 16 minutes into this podcast uh-huh uh well with the part we
didn't that wasn't a part of it but maybe we're like 14 minutes in anyway we should probably
andrew i have notes of what you wanted to talk about today and what i want to talk about gavin
i don't know if you had anything but well i only had one thing why don't you hit us with it uh well it's kind of similar to all the flavors we've been talking about and um
the fact that I hadn't I hadn't had any confidence yet on face I found my confidence
what is your confidence I felt like I was chocolate confident like you know how you get
you know how you get those like lint excellence things where it's like 70% cocoa.
And I was like, I'm pretty, I like these pretty extreme percentages on chocolate.
It's like really dark, a little bit bitter.
And I was looking through all the chocolates in the store.
It's like 70%.
Oh, bloody hell.
80, 85.
And then I saw one that was 100.
And I thought, I'm bloody, bloody i'm really gonna like that one
so i bought lint excellence uh a hundred percent cocoa let me uh chuck this in the old
discord so we know what we're talking about oh an update discord update
what's new all right hold on here here we go we're so bad at posting things so we're talking about them
it doesn't we're 74 weeks in or whatever we still suck at that bam all right that's in there there's
nothing there we go okay so we're talking chocolate bars specifically i wasn't sure if you meant like
a hot chocolate powder no i was like you break it off you eat it and i was like, you break it off, you eat it. And I was like, oh, this is going to, I'm bloody going to love this.
But then there's a disclaimer on it.
It said excellence 100% reveals the strength and richness of cocoa beans.
Flavor profile delivers a strong blah, blah, blah.
To fully appreciate the intense cocoa experience,
we recommend that you progressively develop your palate
through our range of high cocoa content chocolate bars,
starting with excellent 70%, then 85%, then 90%.
I thought, well, I've not done any of that.
I'm going in the deep end here.
I was like, I'm pretty sure I've trained my palate already throughout life.
Yeah.
I snapped off a bit of this chocolate
shoved it in by far the most disgusting thing i've ever eaten in my entire life it immediately
it immediately turned to mud and like rushed it was the bitterest i've never experienced
they were not kidding my palate i was immediately just like i was like dry heaving i couldn't get it out because it just turned to paste i was like
um so it's overconfidence uh massive misjudgment there on the old tongue so i i think i do have to
slowly work up to uh 70 i would i would
love you both to try i'm not sure if you're a big chocolate guys it was utterly foul i don't know
how it's even food how quickly do you think you could eat the entire chocolate bar gavin
oh i couldn't i couldn't eat i couldn't i i don't think I could eat. So zero quickly. Three minutes. Three minutes.
Let me show you how much I...
Three minutes.
I'll show you how much I ate.
So when you were, when you're reading the bottom part of it,
with the like start 75, 80, what was your thought process?
Were you like, this is like, that's bullshit.
I was laughing at it.
Like what?
Yeah.
What dumb thing to write on your chocolate.
Hey, don't eat this chocolate.
So you still had 100% confidence until you put it in your mouth.
I had 100% until I ate the 100%.
And oh my God.
I literally don't think I could eat the rest of that.
If you gave me 24 hours, I wouldn't all go in.
So in 24 hours, that's 21 bars or 21 little squares.
So you don't think you could eat one an hour with three hours to breathe?
No.
I think I would throw up after the first one,
and I would just be looking at the rest for the rest of the day,
and it wouldn't happen.
Next time we record, not next episode because we're doing two today,
I will eat that whole fucking thing in like four minutes.
Are you sure?
I've never had it, but yeah, it's chocolate.
Can you do something else for me
too it's not chocolate it's not chocolate i don't know what it is it's not chocolate
it looks like chocolate yes jeff andrew i love this idea i think this is a great idea and i
support it however i think it would be even better it would be even better if you washed it down with a banana.
Why?
I want to hear you eat a good banana on podcast.
Okay. I think Gavin and I are on to something.
We both think you haven't eaten one in a long time.
And I'd like to get your up-to-the-date,
like two-day Andrew Panton 2021 opinion on bananas.
I don't think I want to combine the two, though.
But I will do both. I'm open to both. Absolutely. I just don't. Do the banana first. I don't think I want to combine the two, though. But I will do both.
I'm open to both.
Absolutely.
I just don't.
Do the banana first.
I don't.
See, I feel like I hate bananas so much in my head.
I feel like it will throw me off my chocolate eating game for later.
Do this.
Do this.
Do the chocolate.
Then rub your foot in ginger.
And then eat the banana.
I'll tell you.
After one bite of this chocolate chocolate you would eat a whole
bunch of bananas just to get the taste out of your mouth it's like four hours of just be like
every every so often the flavor would re-hit my tongue and i'd be like
i'm you know what i like that idea i'll go chocolate first palate cleanse with the banana
give it a try what is interesting though is that um the entire bar is one serving are you
sure you have yeah when you have like a like a bag or something or like something that needs to be
it's like oh this bag contains 18 servings of this or whatever but it's the whole thing is just one
so i think eating the whole thing in one go won't be too bad for you so now that you've eaten the
100 do you think you need to start at 75? Do you feel like you're at 85?
If you could go to 50, would you go to 50?
Like, where do you think your taste range is at this point?
Well, like, has it set me back?
Yeah, well, I'm just curious, like, what do you think your actual ideal number is now that you know it's not 100?
Well, I do like 70, so I just love that there's an 85 and a 90.
Yeah.
Like, it's significant enough between 5% to warrant a completely different chocolate bar.
I think I'd do 85.
Okay.
Do you think you could get to 100 if you trained in the Lindt way?
According to the disclaimer on the packet, I could.
I would say if I ate 70 one month, 85 the next month, 90 the next month.
Yeah, I think give me three months.
I could try 100 again.
I think I think I like the long play on this.
I think we should do that in tandem with the other Andrew thing.
I'd like to see.
I'd like to see if I'd like to see the experiment.
I'd like to see this in action.
I like to see if it's possible.
I want to know if you want to achieve it or do you
think you would feel like a monster by the end of it if you hit a hundred and it was just like
oh no way i'd be so proud of it it'd be something to brag about okay yeah i would uh i'd break i'd
break off a little square for everyone around me i'd be like all right let's talk i'd be the only
one that wasn't rolling on the ground yeah i, I like it. I really don't.
What, like four minutes?
Is four minutes weird?
Should it be like five just so it's an easier number?
Yeah, let's do five.
Yeah, they have a 99% coca.
Do they?
They do.
No, I'm looking at it right now.
I'm pulling up.
I'm trying to look.
I didn't.
You're like 85, 90.
They have a fucking.
What is the difference between a 99% and a 100?
I don't know.
It doesn't even mention the 99% on the disclaimer.
There's a 95, 90.
They're just like, that's the end zone.
99 to 100, same thing, I assume.
I don't think you could do that in five minutes.
I really don't.
Have you had extremely high cocoa content chocolate before?
I don't even like dark chocolate. Not a fan. That's gross. I really don't have you had extremely high cocoa content chocolate no i don't even like dark chocolate not a fan i i really don't if we're placing bets on it i don't think you can do it
physically i don't think you get it down oh i will add oh if we're getting bets involved this is i'm
now i'm excited about this i think you found your confidence too oh i'm absolutely chocolate
confident i'm not even all that into chocolate. As we said last episode, not a big sweets guy.
They're okay.
Well, it's not.
I don't think it's sweet at all.
Well, it's chocolates.
It's in the candy category.
I know it's not sweet.
Total sugars, zero grams.
But you would put, if somebody has a candy bar, you'd put it in the candy section.
It's a chocolate bar.
It's in the candy aisle. It's in the sweet aisle in the candy section it's a chocolate bar it's in the
candy aisle it's in the sweet aisle no but it's it's like all bitter it's not i mean you will
find out when you eat it oh wait a second eric just said is it's in the baking section is it
in the baking section no this was in the chocolate section there we go
i'm so excited for this i wish we could get some delivered to you today.
Genuinely, if you would have
texted about it, I would have it ready to go.
There's zero hesitation
in my mind that I could just immediately do this.
Can I get one?
Let me see if I can get one delivered.
See if you can get one delivered while we're...
I'm going to look right now to see if I can get one delivered.
I highly doubt that I could get
a fucking Lint 100% dark chocolate bar
delivered in this moment.
But I will try.
I'll look into this.
Gavin, do you feel a bit like a failure
because you couldn't eat it?
Yeah.
Like you're not the chocolate fan
you thought you were?
Yeah, thanks for asking.
I do feel like a failure.
I would have read that disclaimer at the bottom and would have
been like, ugh, chocolate snobs.
I would have put that absolutely in the snob category
of people.
Oh, so before we move on to the
important stuff, I do have a clip to play.
Oh!
From last week's podcast.
Oh, great.
I don't... Okay.
This is one of the ads.
This podcast is sponsored
by BetterHelp and F*** Face listeners
get 10% off their first month
at BetterHelp.com
slash face. That's B-E-T-T-E-R
H-L-E-P
dot com slash face.
We had an ad
for BetterHelp.
Oh no! Ohap. Oh no.
Oh no.
Oh no.
Better Hwap?
Does anyone
listen to... I'm the only one
listening to these.
And I don't get the version with the ads in so I couldn't
proof that. That's amazing.
Oh my god.
Is that the first time, Jeff? I guess you wouldn't know. I don't know that. That's amazing. Oh my God. Is that the first time, Jeff?
I guess you wouldn't know.
I don't know.
I hope so.
Have you ever been told,
hey, you spelled the thing wrong?
H-L-E-E.
Go back and do it.
No.
No.
That's a first for me.
I feel like Nick,
Nick equally responsible.
Or does he,
is he there when you record
or you just deliver him to him?
No, I deliver him to him,
but I always talk to him
and I have little conversations
with him and stuff,
so I might have distracted him.
I mean, it might still work.
Maybe they've redirected
Better Health to their own website.
Is Better Health available to buy?
Can we go Better Health?
Oh, thanks, Nick.
Nick said it's really nice.
I appreciate it, buddy.
Oh, man, it's really nice. I appreciate it, buddy. Oh, man.
That's really...
That's legitimately embarrassing.
Yeah, I don't get embarrassed very often,
but I think that one got me.
Wow. I was cracking up got me. Wow.
I was cracking up when I heard it.
That was you.
That was that was my embarrassment for 2021.
You fucking nailed it.
Catching that.
So glad.
So glad you didn't let that go.
It's very clear what you're trying to spell.
I don't think there's any confusion there. I don't think anyone got lost.
Do you? If you were in Nick's, and let's say Nick did catch it,
do you correct Jeff?
Do you tell him that he misspelled?
I think you have to.
I think you have to.
I would probably just see if I could cut up the waveforms
and rearrange it.
Yeah.
That was fantastic.
Let's go ahead and invoice them for the additional advertisement they got on this podcast.
Yeah, I feel like I always make sure that there's no ads in the first version, but there is this week.
Any other embarrassing shit you got for us?
That's all I got.
Any other embarrassing shit you got for us?
That's all I got.
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joinhoney.com slash face. Andrew, you said yesterday that you wanted to give a Cosmic
Crisp update. Oh, I do. I have a brief update. Obviously, apples, the top fruit, a top tier
fruit. I reach it's just it's not a substantial but i did i reached out
to the cosmic crisp people and i got a reply and i got other contact information so we need to like
figure out what we want to ask them i guess request but we want apples that we can review
and talk about okay and also also we want to be listed as official spokespeople uh for the the
cosmic crisp see that's why i asked i just now
we have yeah we have a direct line you make it sound like it was a brand new apple though but
apparently people have been eating them for years well they beta tested around i'm sure like anything
like i saw some people say hey i live in washington and we've had this apple for about a year it's
really good and then i've also heard other people say like yeah i've been drinking i've been eating
caramel crisp all year and it's like that's not the apple, buddy.
It's cosmic crisp.
You're confused.
I think a lot of people are confused because they hear the word cosmic and they hear the
word crisp because it's the combination of two other apples, I believe.
Right.
So I think there's a lot of people that think they're eating cosmic crisp because they recognized
our word, not both words.
So interesting.
If I'm eating, are you going to you should get some apples, Jeff.
If I'm going to eat this banana, you need to get some apples.
One, yeah, just like bite in and like figure out the range of flavors and textures because it's crazy.
You don't know.
You know, it's funny.
I have it listed right here as things to talk about today.
Apple rank.
I think that we should start ranking apples.
I think this would be an interesting direction for us to go in.
start ranking apples.
I think this would be an interesting direction for us to go in.
If we could create the official apple ranking guide
so that people know,
we could come up with texture, flavor, crispiness,
whatever we determine,
and then we could become the authority on apples.
I'm a big fan of this.
Apple is genuinely my favorite fruit.
It's a great fruit.
Are you serious?
It's such a nothing fruit to me.
It's just a fuck out of here.
It's like,
I'm never going to go and buy one.
It is.
Oh,
I buy a shit ton of apples.
They're great.
I'm with Gavin.
That's,
that's why,
that's why this is important.
Andrew,
you're through your love of apples.
You're going to,
you're going to introduce it to us and probably the rest of the world who
thinks that an apple is nothing more than a bog standard.
I,
I am not going to take this fucking apple slander by a guy
that can't eat a chocolate bar and someone who
can't spell apple. I'm not taking it right now.
Apple is a top tier
number one fruit and it will be established.
It's a great juice. It's
a great pie. It's just great
by itself. It's portable. It's
fantastic. In our text conversation
the other day, I said,
this really annoyed you, apples are fodder fruit.
It's the melon of a fruit salad
of fruit.
What is the problem
with that statement for me?
I got a lot of issues with it.
You're getting me revved up
about apples. I fucking
love an apple. When am I eating an apple
in a fruit salad?
I would never want, the melon is what I'd want, I eating an apple in a fruit salad like I would never want the melon is what I'd want the pineapple
is great in a fruit salad some grapes
like there's so many great fruits
wait is it wait what
what are you saying
I got confused while I was trying to think
about what I was going to say while you were talking
I was saying that one I don't
feel like apple is in fruit salads.
No, no.
The point is, is that in a fruit salad, a melon is fodder.
No, a melon is a staple.
Melon, it takes up space.
You need it.
No, you need that melon in a fruit salad.
You're excited about the pineapple.
You're excited about the grapes in there.
It's like melon whatever.
And I'm saying that apples are the melon of a fruit salad of
fruit i understand your point but i disagree about them being fodder i think they're a key part of
the fruit salad i think a fruit salad is a collection of pieces together you have your
melon or the apple the melon i'm saying we're talking fruit salad now now we're talking about
fruit salad i think the melon in a fruit salad is important.
I don't think it's comparable at all to apple.
Now I will say, in addition to that,
I don't mind apple in a fruit salad.
I think actually that makes it a little bit more exciting.
I feel like you never get an apple in a fruit salad.
You do sometimes.
I feel like it's very rare.
When I think fruit salad, grapes, pineapple, melon.
I hope this isn't a controversial thing. But you know what I likerapes, pineapple, melon. I hope this isn't a controversial thing.
Strawberry.
But you know what I like in a fruit salad,
which I feel like isn't always in there enough,
but it gets overshadowed and should shine a little bit more.
I like a pear in a fruit salad.
A pear can be great.
I feel like a pear brings a whole other thing to the table
than a fruit salad.
I agree with that,
but I would also say a pear on its own wouldn't ever buy that you're never in the mood for a pear i you know i i feel like i agree with
jeff i think the pear gets slept on i think it's a better fruit than we give it credit for
totally i've heard people put some pear and a little bit like thinly sliced some pear and put
it on a grilled cheese i think that would be interesting i think that'd be a good combination
of flavors i've always wanted to try it.
It sounds good. A little bit of
texture. It's a good texture, unlike the banana.
Terrible texture. Well,
they're very different textures, both great in their own right,
but also controversial textures. A lot of people
don't like pear purely because
of the sandy texture. I think it's a strength, personally.
Yeah. I see.
I feel like the banana is grittier and chalkier
than the pear. This chalk analogy with the banana, Iittier and chalkier than the pear this chalk analogy
with the banana i just don't know where you get that from yeah i had it's i i can't describe it
either but it's just it's how i it's how i remember but to be fair you guys are correct
i don't think i've just eaten a banana off the counter since i was maybe 10 it's probably been
like 17 years because i don't have to get one i don't have bananas why would i
everyone has bananas i don't have banana i don't like bananas i never buy bananas
no one in your family has them go get a fucking apple gavin right now everybody has apples i got
a dozen of them in my fridge go eat an apple you keep apples in the fridge of course i do
preserve them you put them in the fruit crisper section the drawer you put them nice too cold
No, it's not it
Means the crisp. I'm a room temperature apple guy
You're what I am a boy what you're declaring is I am a psychopath guy is what you're saying by saying that statement
You don't need to be refrigerated man. They preserve better. Well, why you don't buy as many
How long are you holding
on to these apples I'll buy
like 12 apples and I'll just eat them
I'll eat them as I go
Cosmic Crisp is gonna last you a fucking
year that's true that is
12 apples will last you 12 months
I'm telling you I will go down in the fridge
and just go to town like a fucking
horse I will eat like
I will go to Apple Town a fucking horse. I will eat like three of those things. You'll go down to Apple Town? I will go to Apple Town.
I love an apple.
It's great.
This might be a divisive opinion,
not an apple or peanut butter guy.
Don't like those at all.
I don't like that at all.
I love both independently.
It's a popular snack.
Don't like them together.
Whenever I do it,
I end up just eating the peanut butter
by itself and the apple by itself two great things in the pen you sounded so legitimately angry when
you went i don't like it at all at all there was so much emphasis there it's just genuine it's a
genuine dislike what's your go-to apple see i don't want to say it because i don't want to put
my apple on the spot if you have one if we're gonna rank and also you you don't want to say it because I don't want to put my apple on the spot. If you have one, if we're going to rank them, I don't want you.
You don't want to insult the Cosmic Crisp people.
No, well, I've never had one.
So it's very possible the Cosmic Crisp could be.
I haven't had the joy of tasting it yet.
I think my favorite apple, definitely the Granny Smith.
It's a good apple.
It's a great apple.
The Granny Smith is a fantastic apple.
I'd put it in the top seven. For sure, of apple types.
Top seven?
Top seven.
So there are potentially six apples you like better.
How many apple types can you name off the top of your head?
Not many.
But I just know I've had a variety.
Nah, let's see.
We got, I can name ones I hate.
The fucking Macintosh is a trash bottom tier apple.
I don't know if I want to reveal the other ones because i feel like all the ones coming to mind right now that's my greatest hits of apples and i don't want to reveal my hand i don't want to
it tip off in any way why don't you want to show your apple because i don't want jeff to
potentially be influenced or for either of you to be like uh shitty apple like just to try to
fucking get under my apple skin.
Don't like it. He's right.
He's right,
because I absolutely will do that
and was planning on doing it.
No, it's a good call, Andrew.
I'm going to hold.
You should keep your apples
close to your vest.
Yeah.
I will.
I'll keep them in my fridge, actually,
is where I'm going to keep them
because it preserves them.
That's pointless.
That's pointless.
You're a maniac.
That's ridiculous.
You're just taking up fridge space.
Could somebody look up...
Eric, could you look up, should I be refrigerating my apples?
You don't buy them refrigerated.
No, you don't.
But I think it extends their ripeness.
If it's in the fridge in the store, stick it in the fridge.
General rule.
I'm trying to think.
Is there an exception to that rule?
Outside of fruit for me.
Bread?
I put my bread in the fridge too
yes there are items that
say refrigerate upon
opening so like
barbecue sauce shit like that
you can buy it on the shelf but then
once you open it has to be refrigerated
so by the way
have we just talked about apples and bananas
for 40 minutes
we have but also
the last two episodes were pretty apple heavy as well.
God damn, man.
You know what?
I need to advise.
I'm going to do more research beyond this, but Eric sent a thing that says apples should
be stored unrefrigerated for about seven days after purchase.
Apples refrigerated too soon lose flavor and sweetness.
Ooh.
That could be wrong.
You've been cutting off your apples
at the flavor knees for years.
You know what?
You know what?
That, though,
that's a fucking statement
about how delicious apples are
because if I've been fucking chopping them
at the knees for years
and I still have them a nine out of ten,
they're going to be fucking tense.
You've been eating handicapped apples
and they're still good.
Yeah.
They've been reduced quality apples
and they're still top tier for
me it's an a plus top of the mountain you know what you're about to do you're about to you're
gonna expand your whole world is about to open up when you get a full flavored apple oh it's gonna
be like seeing color for the first time i assume yeah it's gonna be life-changing i can't wait i
feel like storage aside i just wouldn't want to bite into a cold apple i feel like it'd be
it'd be like biting a lump of ice cream.
It'd just be like...
I don't...
They don't get that cold.
I don't know what you're talking about.
No, they're not frozen.
That's a terrible comparison.
Well, like a cold strawberry is too cold.
Like if you get chocolate-covered strawbs,
need them out of the fridge for at least an hour.
What about a frozen strawberry though?
You're getting it.
I feel like a frozen strawberry could be good.
Dude, frozen strawberries are very good.
See?
I've been eating them.
I've been eating them lately.
Look at that.
They sell them at,
they sell like this little frozen strawberry thing
at Trader Joe's.
They're fucking yummy.
Hey, do you guys think we should
get off of fruit for a minute and switch gears?
Yeah.
Or should we just, okay.
That's fine.
We could switch.
Can I have a question like unrelated, just very quick quick and i know it's something you want to talk about
and i apologize because it's possible we've already discussed it and i forgot but i don't
think this is batman related um no no no it's not batman related at all okay has nothing to do with
that you're gonna be excited when i bring this up and i apologize if we've covered it and i just
don't remember you mentioned i want to say episode, maybe it was two episodes ago,
that you were really into like two things,
that you're very excited about these things.
And one of them was koozies.
Yeah, koozies and pastrami.
I'm a pastrami dude.
I'm going to get pastrami this weekend.
I'm going to wake up early Saturday morning
and get pastrami before F1.
Dude, I was talking about it last night with my mom.
My mom was in town and my aunt.
And I went fucking, dude, I spent like an hour talking to him about pastrami.
Yeah, I get you really like pastrami.
Mostly pastrami, though, dude.
I think that's wonderful.
He's like, mom, mom, mom, pastrami.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was like, no, I was like, how did I get to be 46 and you never gave me pastrami?
Like, what are you doing?
Why are you depriving me of pastrami for four
decades so much like last time you brought up these two things and i feel like i listened to
you yell about pastrami for like 15 minutes and which is awesome i don't think i know why you
like koozies and why this is like a big thing i don't think you ever explain that why are you
super into koozies uh because i i my gave me one, and it was the kind that lays flat.
And I don't know.
I just threw it on the counter, and one day I put it on a soda, and then I liked the heft of it.
I liked how squishy it made my hand when I was drinking my soda.
Kept my hand dry.
I got to look at the logo of the thing that was on it and remind me that
i was a fan of that thing and it it folded flat and i was able to put it in my back pocket and
i liked the heft of having a koozie it's like a little added added packet like a little uh
like a little cushion for my butt instead it's like the opposite of a back wallet it's like a
it's like you put a koozie in each pocket and you're sitting better. Okay.
So you just really enjoyed the experience.
There was not just like.
Yeah, dude.
Top to bottom.
I just like, I just never.
It's been like that lately with me.
I've just been finding awesome new things that I didn't know about.
Just today, I was putting my headphones on to get ready for this podcast.
And I remembered that when I got these headphones for Christmas three years ago,
they were Bluetooth headphones and I just never synced them up. And I was just using I got these headphones for Christmas three years ago, they were Bluetooth headphones.
And I just never synced them up.
And I was just using the cord the whole time. And I thought, I could do that.
And I just wouldn't have a cord anymore.
And I'm listening to you guys on cordless headphones now.
It's just every day there's something better.
It's something new that's just like making my life easier.
Pastrami, koozies, Bluetooth is great.
I don't know if I trust Bluetooth with you you i feel like it's not so much now i feel like there's a real phase of you everything being broken and i know i'm one
to talk i had my technical difficulties too for a stretch but you with bluetooth like removing
the cord do you know where the cord is at least yeah i found it i set it somewhere and three years
ago and i found it okay i bet I put it here and it was there.
Fantastic.
That's great.
I'm glad you're discovering new things.
Should we talk about some of the other stuff we had planned?
Because I just realized that we've been recording for like 43 minutes and we've only talked about apples.
Essentially, we're we're about.
So we had one, two, three, four, five, seven things on the list.
And we've talked about kind of like, I guess two of them.
Should we remove some of the Apple stuff?
Have we talked about anything?
No, no.
We've talked about a few things.
Yeah.
We have banana.
You want to just close?
We have chocolate.
Let's mix things up.
All right.
Let's switch gears.
Andrew, you want to talk about nuggets?
You have nugget content.
Do it.
OK.
Are we just going to lean food heavy in this?
We're just going to go full on, this is just a food show at this point.
I'm going to redeem.
This is my redemption year, Gavin, as you know.
This is a year of redemption for me.
I've lost the burgers three times.
I tried, did my best, couldn't do it.
I am now redeeming myself though again we're
changing it up we're going with nuggets oh interesting we're going nuggets are the future
and i will i will get my first before before you even go on can i just say up front that this is
a terrible idea continue okay well now let me explain the idea this is i honestly i had this
idea uh last year during the last game of this
team's playoff run they got eliminated the day after so i've been sitting on this for a while
there is a basketball team called the denver nuggets i want to out nugget the nuggets i want
to eat more nuggets than the nugget score points in a game and embarrass their franchise. So I'm planning this. We're doing
this on... What day is it?
I'm going to do the... It's the Friday,
October 29th. They have a
7 p.m. Pacific game against the Dallas
Mavericks at the Nuggets home.
I will eat more Nuggets within
the regulation of the game than the Nuggets
score points. I'm very confident
about this. What if you were to pick a team
with a better defense
like the Utah Jazz, like a team that's going to lock down the Nuggets? And I mean, this is there's
a 20 there's a 20 Nugget swing going here, probably depending on which team you pick.
I'm not worried about that at all, Jeff. I genuinely much like the chocolate. I don't
think this will be an issue. I got Nugget confidence for this. So what what's the average what's the average score in a
basketball game that's a great question yeah i can't beyond the average score the the denver
nuggets averaged 115.5 points per game last season that was their average so we're looking at 116
it's a weird sport uh so are you gonna get like how many how many you're gonna buy you're gonna
have them all up front i i'm assuming no this is so that's another fantastic question by you
it doesn't make sense i should not be able to score points while the nuggets have the ball
so i can only eat the nuggets when dallas has the ball it's the only time i can only gain points on
them when d Dallas has possession.
I cannot just be eating nuggets constantly.
I'm only allowed to score
when Dallas has the ball.
So in a two-hour basketball game,
you only have access to approximately
one hour of nugget-eating time.
Potentially.
We'll see how the game flow goes,
but yeah, I'm expecting,
anticipating having to eat 116.
Here's a question for you.
Yes. Is this a nationally televised game i have no idea i'm assuming so but i don't know well if it's a nationally televised game there'll be there'll be a half time show will
you be able to eat during the halftime show like no maybe maybe during nuggets highlights or
something or like during dallas highlights okay so just during... What if it's out of bounds? What if it's like between stuff?
What do you mean when it's out of bounds?
If it...
Okay, so if Dallas loses the ball out of bounds,
I immediately have to stop.
But the ball has to be in play?
The ball has to be in play.
That's even less time.
What about during a timeout called by Dallas
and they maintain possession?
No, I can't score.
If the team can't score points If the team can't score points,
then I can't score points.
Okay, so they score three points, let's say.
Yeah.
Then the ball goes to the other team.
Right.
You're explaining basketball.
I'm just trying to imagine.
So are you then going to immediately
be stuffing your face?
As soon as Dallas gets possession of the ball,
I got to go.
I got to go, go, go, go.
I got to be like fucking Jeff's vacation guide. It's gonna be
a go-now scenario of chew those
nuggets. So,
are you competing in this scenario
against Dallas or
the Nuggets or both?
Dallas is a representation
of me. Yeah, he is
Dallas. Yeah, you are Dallas. I am Dallas
in this scenario.
Going against the Denver Nuggets, I'm gonna of me yeah he is Dallas yeah you are Dallas in this scenario going up again okay going against
the Denver Nuggets I'm gonna out nugget the Nuggets it's gonna be great and are you gonna be
okay are you gonna get any source involved see now this is a very interesting thing that I wanted
to bring up and Nick even also asked what is the nugget the point ratio because in basketball
you're typically your average score is worth two points and there's a three-point play free throws worth one i am i in my head i always assumed one nugget
equaled one point the equivalent of right but i am open to the idea of like a three-point nugget
but i just don't know what that looks i don't know if that's like if i have to dip it in insanely hot
hot sauce if that's the three-point nugget, like what would I have to do?
It obviously has to be a tougher experience
to replicate the equivalent of a three-point nugget.
How about a three-point nugget?
Go ahead.
Go ahead, Gav.
How about, all right, I'll go.
How about, you know,
we very rarely have that shit happen
considering we're an audio- only podcast that records remotely.
It's a pretty impressive.
It's way worse on the other ones I do.
What if you just like I like the one to one ratio because it makes the most sense for math and you're not having to do any kind of translation or figuring shit out on the fly.
So what if for a three point nugget, you just had to put all three nuggets in your mouth at the same time. No, I don't see. I think it could be.
I agree.
Like, I'm very mixed because I I'm not I can't tolerate hot sauce at all.
So if we get a super hot hot sauce, if it would genuinely be a desperation move by me
if I was trailing in points in the last thing.
And I think that could be funny.
Yeah, but here's the deal.
Here's what I see happening down the road.
You fail the challenge
and you blame the hot sauce,
not the nuggets quantity,
which is what we're going to disagree with
because we're going to think
that the quantity of nuggets is overwhelming.
You're going to,
when you fail at this inevitably,
you're going to blame other things
like hot sauce being too much for you to handle.
But it's really going to be the nuggets. I'd like to eliminate
this competition is you versus
the nuggets, nugget to nugget.
I think it should be simple.
I agree with that. I'm very excited
for this to take place.
As I'm asking questions,
I'm also thinking about how he's going to Andrew
Panton this. How's he going to salad cream
slash pencil?
Honestly, I disagree with your analysis
that i'd blame the sauce and be like i could have eaten the nugget i would only go to that sauce
if i felt like i couldn't i was running out of time and that i just was like i was fucked it
would be most likely in my head not a time issue actually as much as it is a i can't eat this many
nuggets i'm gonna need to start getting bonus nugs off of every nug. That's when I would pivot to the sauce in my head.
So I don't think I'd ever excuse that.
But I agree with what you said.
I like the integrity of a nugget being one point.
I think that's truly outnuggeting the nuggets.
If I eat genuinely more nuggets than they score points.
I agree with that.
Hey, Gav.
Yeah.
What nugget count do you think he throws in the towel?
Oh, well, I'm trying to think of how many,
because I find nuggets get extremely samey.
After I've had like five, I'm just like,
ugh, I'm done with them.
I think around 60, he's going to be really feeling it.
I was going to say 72.
He's going to tap out at 72 nuggets.
72?
We'll see.
I bet you every time,
the first time I did the burger challenge,
I was so confident, and I literally realized
my issue is one bite in.
So I'm curious to see
if I hit that wall, and if
at what point with the nuts. Well, how many bites
of burger do you think you got down?
What do you mean? On which one? On which attempt?
Your best attempt.
My best attempt? I ate like 42
burgers. How many bites was that i i don't
know how to translate burger to bite why i mean were you doing like five bites per burg i have
never measured in bites per burg before so i have no idea how what's the nugget to you are you all
in i could do well like what do you mean like how many are you doing two chumps per nug or you just
nuggets two nuggets two bites i don't know i just stuffing them in? A nugget's two bites.
I don't know.
I could, yeah, no, I think it's more than two bites.
I mean, I could throw the whole nugget in my mouth just as a whole,
but it's like how many times does it take the chew to swallow?
I don't know.
I've never considered that.
I'm not worried about how many times.
I'm just, yeah, how many chomps of the actual nug to get all in.
Yeah, how many bites.
But I feel like if you do put the entire thing in,
you're going to get less sauce, which might be a bonus.
See, I don't know if I'll use sauce because that could take up space.
That's my whole thing with the sauce.
It's also like we're not even talking about the fact of
maintaining temperature on the nuggets.
How many nuggets do I order at one time?
Yeah, I was about to say, can I make a recommendation?
They're going to get harder to eat the more room temperature they become i if i were
you i would order them via competing services at a in a tiered manner so that they're arriving hot
like every 30 minutes or something so i think what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna order 60 up front and
i'm gonna go all mcdonald's nuggets i'm gonna go 60 mcdonald's nuggets and then order another 60
as soon as half starts okay because that could another... That would be honestly how I age a pantnut
if I run out of nuggets.
That would be the excuse.
You don't want your nuggets stuck in traffic.
No, I don't.
That's a good point.
It would be terrible.
Yeah, just watching.
So it's like, how long is a halftime?
Like 15 minutes, 10 minutes?
Like I need to factor that into of ordering.
You're going to have to time that perfectly.
I do.
Because you don't want to be running around
barefoot outside when the game's on.
No. To pick up your next nugs.
Absolutely not. Nothing is worse.
Oh, fucking, it's going to be
dark outside at that point.
It starts at 7 in the night.
That's a whole other layer.
Why didn't you get the second batch just in the oven
on a low preheat?
I feel like that'll dry them out.
I feel like that might dry him out i feel
like that might dry him out that's my concern maybe not if you cover it okay well you know i
honestly i'll probably i'll make sure i have enough nuggets we're gonna i'm gonna crush the
denver nuggets is all i'm saying i don't think i could go past 30 i predict 60 for andrew i don't
think he's gonna get over 100 i could do 40 no 40. There's no way. He'll get 72.
How, uh, I'm sorry, Andrew, what day is this again?
October 29th, 7 p.m.
Oh, that's pretty soon.
That's pretty exciting.
It is.
It's nine days from now.
Oh, man.
Uh, so we're probably getting fairly close to the end.
I wanted to mention, I had this idea.
I posed to the F*** Face Slack the other day, and everybody seemed to like it. So I was going to bring it up here and pose it to the end. I wanted to mention, I had this idea, I posed to the
F*** Face Slack
the other day
and everybody seemed to like it.
So I was going to bring it up here
and pose it to the audience.
It struck me
that we should probably
create some sort of
a regulation F*** Face shirt.
I just don't know
what that would be.
Oh, it should just say
regulation shirt on it,
shouldn't it?
Should it just say
regulation F*** Face shirt
like on the breast or something?
Does it even need to say
the name of the show?
I think it might just be
regulation shirt.
Regulation shirt? Okay. I like that.
Just on the pocket?
Or is it even a pocket tee? I don't know.
I feel like it's just a cross and
kind of bigger letters. Regulation shirt.
What color
is the shirt? What's a regulation
color? In my head, it's black with
a white font, but that isn't as important regulation color? In my head, it's black with a white font,
but I'd like,
that isn't as important to me.
In my head,
it was the other way around.
It was white with a black font.
I'm fine with either of those.
I think one of each.
Do multiples? Okay.
Eric,
can you investigate that for us?
Jeff,
could you put a sticker
on every one of these shirts,
please?
Can we sell?
It depends on how many we sell.
Potentially, sure.
Have you worked more on the bat hitting,
signing your name on balls with a bat thing?
Well, no, because I've been in Florida the whole time.
And then I got home right as my mom and my aunt got here.
So I spent the weekend with them.
And also the audience is going to be pissed off next episode
because I won't have hit the ball
or throw the ball by then either because we're about to record it in eight
seconds.
I apologize for that.
Uh, but no, I'm, listen, I'm going to fucking, I'm going to hit a thousand baseballs.
We just got to get them made.
I feel extra.
I have some extreme, extreme baseball bat confidence on the thousand.
I have, I have a Bplus confidence on the baseball throw.
I will admit that my body has been frustrating me
a little bit here and there,
but I don't think it'll impede me swinging the bat
1,000 times.
It's definitely going to cause some issues
with throwing the ball, but that's okay.
That's okay.
We'll figure it out, right?
What's the worst that could happen?
Okay, so just a quick,
on a scale of one to 100, Jeff,
how confident are you
that you could swing at 1,000 baseballs
in one thing?
100.
100% confidence?
I am 100% confident
I could do the nugget thing.
Now, Gavin, you rank the likelihood
of each of those things actually happening.
Being successful.
In what format am I ranking?
Like, percentage confident?
One to a hundred, yeah.
Percentage confident,
the odds of them actually being completed.
What we're claiming will happen.
I would put your nugs at 40% confidence.
Okay, that's pretty good.
It's higher than I thought.
I'd put Jeff hitting a thousand balls at 20.
No, what if it was swinging?
It's not necessarily hitting. He's swinging at a thousand balls at 20. Now, what if it was swinging? It's not necessarily hitting.
He's swinging at a thousand.
25.
Okay, there you go.
See what I just did for you, Jeff?
He's got you five points.
Okay, well, now you've motivated me
to crush Gavin.
Got it, thank you.
And I would put my confidence
in eating an entire chocolate bar
at zero.
I put that at a thousand percent for me.
I can't wait next month. I can't get it delivered.
I would put that even lower than your
nugs. Oh, that is
outrageous. I don't like dark chocolate.
I'm very excited.
I guess we're doing this next week. We're about to record
a second one. The one after that one, I'm eating some
fucking chocolate. It's going to go great.
I'm also going to be post-nuggets.
Yeah, that's true.
I'm jazzed. I'm really jazzed about this this next this the one after the one we're about to record
because it's gonna have a lot of it's gonna have what i'm guessing are gonna be some classic
face bits in it uh realized after all this but let's not sleep on next episode because next
episode i think we're gonna get to the superhero thing, finally. And also, I want
to pitch to you guys, I sent
you guys some texts while I was in Florida
about some ideas I had for
some revolutionary new
products. Similar, within the
same vein of a
Too Spicy Icy and a
Beef Baselet. Maybe the next evolution in that lineage.
Brought to us by Uniform.
Uniform, combining the power of one with the us by Uniform. Uniform. Combining the power of one
with the fabric of the farm. Uniform. Yes.
Speaking of which,
Uniform. Uniform.
Uniform.
Combining the power of one
with the fabric of the farm. Uniform.
We might even have a spin-off show
that is related.
A.M.
Far A.M.
Unifram.
Anyway, we might have a Unifram-esque spinoff video show that we might be producing soon,
which I'm pretty excited about, too.
Oh, yeah.
But we can get into all that in the future.
And by future,
do you mean like we're ending the show now
and they're going to talk about it?
I think like we should probably end this one
and then hit stop and save
and then hit record
and then immediately get into it.
Okay.
Well, I...
All right.
I'm going to stick a P in as well.
I got one thing also.
I'd like to pee as well.
Why?
Oh, please.
Stop.
Just end the episode.
Why?
You don't need one more thing.
Andrew's still talking. He's not finished. No, it's fine. He's got the please. Stop. Just end the episode. Why? You don't need one more thing. Andrew's still talking.
Andrew wasn't finished. No, it's fine.
I'm just going to say I have something to bring up
unrelated to that in the next episode.
Okay. Oh, what is it? I talked
to you about it yesterday. I'm very excited to hear
Gavin's reaction. What's going on? End this.
Alright, well, I'm really excited to hear
about it. Hit stop. Everyone hit stop. Goodbye.
Thanks for listening. Eric, are you aware that we did one, we did a one hour, 17 minute episode with you and God?
I- I know. I know. Just-
Oh, Henry's here with the ball!
Yeah, alright. Kai! Kai! Kai!
Can I hit stop now?
We didn't have an outro!
There was no outro!
There was no outro! There was no intro!