F**kface - Gavin's New Low // Zimmer the Bartlett [191]

Episode Date: January 31, 2024

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about toothpaste hardness, shit in the shower, temperature change, worst movie posters, goat and cat eyes, streaming, trucks with Andrew, Warzone, Halo times maybe, apple... pies & sandwiches, rethinking pears, and Does It Do is out now. Sponsored by Shady Rays http://shadyrays.com code FACE , BetterHelp http://betterhelp.com/face , Babbel http://babbel.com/FACE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. This is episode 191. My name is Jeff Ramsey and with me as always, Andrew Panton and Gavin Free. Hello. I can't believe I'm alive and here and happy and not dying. Unlike last time. You made it. I made it. It was great. It was terrible, but it was great.
Starting point is 00:00:32 Today has been an interesting day of content. We filmed the end of last week's podcast. Then we filmed the end of the first round of a trivia contest. Then we filmed the second round of a trivia contest, and now we're filming a whole other podcast. I feel like I just
Starting point is 00:00:47 hit a new low. Really? I feel like you hit a low in worms recently that I had never seen before. How could you be lower than that? I was just brushing my teeth, and I the toothpaste missed my toothbrush and landed on my gut.
Starting point is 00:01:04 And I just smeared the toothbrush in it, and landed on my gut. And I just smeared the toothbrush in it and I just kept going. No, yes! Yeah, that's a new low. You have hit a new low, you're not kidding. There would have been a time where I would have just wiped that off and got new toothpaste. But then I just thought, who am I trying to impress here? That time should have been 20 minutes ago.
Starting point is 00:01:26 I think that's perfectly valid. What are you going to waste the toothpaste? Yeah, I mean, it's toothpaste. I don't know. I feel what's weird to me is not necessarily reusing it, but in my head, you're smearing it all over your clothes, trying to get it on like it's spreading. Like if you would have said you swabbed it with your finger then put it on, that would have been less weird and i think it was weird that i went with
Starting point is 00:01:48 the toothbrush to my own gut yeah that's what kind of i think weirded me out about it that just seems like the most direct way to do it can i ask how you how you uh missed i don't understand how you missed i don't understand how you missed i I don't understand how you missed, I guess. You missed the toothbrush? Yeah, what angle was the tube? Well, I had the thing that got me is that I untwisted the toothpaste lid with the same hand I was holding the tube with. So I was already sort of like smashed up against myself and the other hand had the toothbrush in. And it just missed the brush and bounced onto my shirt.
Starting point is 00:02:23 Is the toothpaste cap doing anything for you? Well, it's keeping the toothpaste in. Or do you think eliminating the toothpaste cap maybe eliminates this issue forever for you? Just leave it off? Yeah. No, that's crazy. Go hard. The toothpaste will go hard?
Starting point is 00:02:38 Isn't that why the cap's there? To keep it moist? You gotta put the cap on. Yeah. I don't think it'll go... I don't think... Does toothpaste go hard? It'll get stale. It'll get crusty and. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think it'll go... I don't think it'll... I don't think... Does toothpaste go hard? It'll get stale.
Starting point is 00:02:46 It'll get, like, crusty and stale. Yeah, I don't trust that. There'll be, like, a film. There'll be, like, a skin. Like, when you leave soup on. I don't think that's true. You're using it every day. It's not long...
Starting point is 00:02:57 It's not sitting there long enough to go bad. Is it, like, a regional thing or an old-time thing where the toothpaste used to be in, like, upright cylinders and you would press the pump on the top oh no the pump i don't know what you're talking about the pump sounds crazy the pump was a thing in the 90s it was like a new way to do it but they before that they had essentially what we have now but you would have the old metal key that you would wind the two wind it back with you remember those no but i used the little pump things and if if ever you would leave one of those for too long and then go to use it again the top of the toothpaste that was in the little primer area would have gone hard
Starting point is 00:03:34 and you would have to pump and sometimes it would shoot the hard toothpaste out so that's why i think it would go hard now i've never experienced that with toothpaste that's definitely like a hand soap type thing happens all the time solidifies and it's shooting all over the place it's a mess I just don't foresee it I don't foresee it happening with toothpaste what the fuck is that Jeff
Starting point is 00:03:57 that's the key that's exactly how every home in America had one of those keys when I was a kid yeah so you could squeeze every bit of America had one of those keys when I was a kid. So you could squeeze every bit of fucking toothpaste out of a toothpaste tube. That's amazing. I don't see them anymore, but that's the way it used to work.
Starting point is 00:04:16 And then that's what they replaced it with. Even Coke cans or soda cans had separate things at one point. The bit you pull comes off. Yeah, those are the pump things that used to shoot a jet of hard toothpaste out it looks like bear mace but for cavities well that's kind of what toothpaste is right right i just want the spray i want to mace myself in the face i want to be like one of those guys in mad max fury road with the silver spray paint but i want that for cavities ultimate tip tip for these pumps, too, is that as they were running low,
Starting point is 00:04:47 the top red piece wouldn't pump any toothpaste out. But if you took the handle of your toothbrush and shoved it up the bottom, you could eke out a little bit more toothpaste. Mm. Mm. Mm. Hey, if it helps, Gav,
Starting point is 00:05:01 I recently experienced a new low as well. Maybe I can soften the blow of your new low a little bit. I shit myself in the shower the other day. Come on. I don't know why I don't expect it, but it's always shit with you. Yeah, never had that happen. You're on the same boat as me now. Got in the shower, went to fart and uh couldn't trust
Starting point is 00:05:26 that fart and then i had to hold my cheeks together with my hands and slip across the floor to the toilet where i then exploded in the toilet and i have to say uh when i pulled my hand away after wiping there was i managed to get poop on every finger. My entire hand. It was the messiest cleanup I've ever had in my life. What the hell? It was the most heinous thing I've ever dealt with in my life. Oh my God. But if you were pushing your cheeks shut, how did it get on your hands?
Starting point is 00:05:55 It just, because I had to like wipe. After I finished pooping, I sat down. I had to let it all out. I had exploders. Which, by the way, I just now I'm at a point, I've decided I was talking about this with Emily the other night, I'm just going to assume if I have to fart that it's a shit from here on out. I'm going to do all my farts on the toilet.
Starting point is 00:06:11 So did any come out of your bum onto the shower floor? No. It was all contained. That hasn't happened yet. I did contain it. However, I do have a puppy, so I have just discovered shit everywhere all the time now. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:06:28 Just all the time. Just on me all the all the time like why is there shit on my elbow where did that come from no idea can't track it down just there shit on my elbow you know the classic expression shit on my elbow do you remember how we had an ice storm like two days ago?
Starting point is 00:06:46 Or it really wasn't even any ice except at Eric's house. Eric had ice. Nobody else did. Yeah. I went out in the backyard to take the dog out earlier
Starting point is 00:06:52 and it was so hot I took my shirt off and went for a little tan for 15 minutes. Are you serious? This is fucking wild, dude. We had a 30 degree swing in Celsius
Starting point is 00:07:02 in like a day. Oh my God. I got too hot I had to go in after a few. Oh my god. I got too hot. I had to go in after a few minutes. It went from like minus 9 to 21. I still had icicles in my front yard this morning where I was dripping my faucet. And then in the afternoon I went for a sun.
Starting point is 00:07:18 A sun in the backyard. It's just fucking ridiculous. Did a branch hit you in the face? No. I got all my branches cut back after you told your story i'm kind of sad to hear that because it's snowing here right now and i thought that like oh look at us it's so rare that our weather is aligned but not even today don't don't don't worry it will be tomorrow the day i was gonna flip back it's yeah oh yeah it's seven it's like 72 today tomorrow it will be like 40.
Starting point is 00:07:46 See, I can't picture that because essentially every time I've been to Texas is RTX, which is in July. Typically, it's like peak summer. I can't imagine a cool Austin that just hard the process. You should have a win to visit. I don't. Yeah, I should. I don't.
Starting point is 00:08:02 I'm trying to think like the closest. It's such a confusing place man weather-wise yeah it seems like a nightmare I went out today and I thought to myself as I was standing t-shirtless in the backyard soaking up the sun I thought to myself why the fuck would I ever leave but tomorrow I'll be like I gotta get the fuck out of here speaking of confusing I have a question for you guys about movie posters um because i was looking at i was reviewing i was just looking at like old movies and stuff and funny enough this summer 98 movie have you what's the worst movie poster you've seen is there anything that come to mind
Starting point is 00:08:38 in the sense of like fails to explain like it's just a terrible visual representation of what that story is mine is uh six days seven nights i don't know if you've seen that poster or that movie no i i watched it as part of when we did the summer 98 stuff and i'd seen the poster forever but knew nothing about the movie and that's the poster i had always assumed that this is like a kind of horror thriller set in the jungle and as the pop music played in the opening scene and said like i think it's an ivan reitman movie like this tonally is not what i thought nothing about that reads as romantic comedy i think this is the worst romantic comedy poster I've ever seen. That's a romantic comedy. He's wearing shorts. That is a romantic.
Starting point is 00:09:28 I mean, they crash on an island. And Danny Trejo dies later. There's like one scene that's kind of intense, but it is largely a very fluffy romantic comedy. That is a very misleading poster. How about this one? Oh, God. What's yours? I think he was centipede. that is a very misleading poster how about this one oh god what's yours I mean it does a great job
Starting point is 00:09:50 of describing it's I mean you get it right away I don't think I get it from that poster I'm not exactly sure what's going on there but I didn't expect there to be a needle and thread or you know there was it's pretty gross can I share mine I'm of course I feel pretty I feel pretty strong about this one.
Starting point is 00:10:06 Oh, God. Shaggy Dogs starring Tim Allen. That is the craziest fucking poster because when you look at the- It's human eyes. It's got Tim Allen's eyes. Yes. Here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:10:20 That's the one that came out, you know, like in the 2000s or whatever the fuck it came out. The original poster is good the original poster is a dog wearing like this college stuff and he says i was a teenage boy and it's it's horror it's funny and you'll love the shaggy the shaggiest like there's it's zany and madcap and it's describing stuff and whatever and then you look at the one where they just put tim allen's eyes on a dog and you go what happened here why wasn't there a sequel to that movie called the shaggy da the shay i've never heard of the shag oh my god here hold on a second hold on a second one poster that was way more literal than i was expecting was this one oh yeah that's a great john malk Yeah. That's the sequel to it.
Starting point is 00:11:05 Oh my God, the Shaggy DA. But do you see how they didn't give him human eyes? Yeah, no, he's definitely got dog eyes. He's got human glasses though. He does, and that's fun. I'm way into that. This one's slightly better. What is?
Starting point is 00:11:19 Yeah, human eyes on an animal is just wrong. It is. It's fucked up. I wonder what the worst animal eyes to replace. I think goat eyes on a human would be the scariest. Whoa. Oh my God. Have you ever seen the goat rectangle eye?
Starting point is 00:11:33 No. Yeah. I think shark eyes would be scary. They look crazy and they're big and bulbous. Why did I, why was I able to find this? What is that? Oh God. It's goat eyes on people. I found fail. Oh Jesus Christ. That's horrifying. Oh
Starting point is 00:12:03 Like that oh My god, it's great doesn't really look any different So many Look like that. Oh My god, it's great doesn't really look any different They swapped it's an eye swap. Oh, that's terrible that one day. We should all just keep our eyes No, I think human eyes on a cat actually looks really good. I think that's an upgrade for the cat now i'm just thinking of judge doom oh man goat eyes are crazy with like their rectangles or whatever like they look like sick you can you can look at it and be like oh yeah this thing's like connected to satan somehow like this was this was an episode of batman beyond i remember where humans were getting uh like goat eyes and cat ears and stuff and modifications. Somehow, Batman had to stop it.
Starting point is 00:12:50 Gavin, that scared me so bad as a kid. Gavin just posted a picture from Roger Rabbit, and it is, as a kid, terrified. I got scared later in life i've told this before i think but the version of roger rabbit that i watched like 25 times was recorded from tv and all of the stuff with his eyes popping out of his head was cut out so when i finally saw the full movie on like someone's actual proper vhs and he starts talking in a really squealy high pitched voice with his eyes popping out I had to like get up and like run out of the room terrified oh man
Starting point is 00:13:33 this is a great source of content for this Animorphs covers I'm just looking at Animorphs covers of books because it's the fucking the animal transitions it's great I'm glad I was too old for Animorphs. Yeah, you didn't miss out.
Starting point is 00:13:50 Yeah. I would be afraid that I would have liked it too much in a weird way. You know what I mean? What does that mean? I wouldn't want to go down that road. I don't know. What are you saying? It could have been too cool to me. I don't know. I don't want to get too into animals. Nothing is scarier than the third iteration of an Animorphs
Starting point is 00:14:06 cover. Hey, here you go. No! Starfish! Oh, that's a nightmare. I think they made a show of Animorphs too, right? So if you wanted to, you didn't need to read the books. You could hop right in. I recently
Starting point is 00:14:21 made what's turned out to be a pretty major life change that I wanted to share with you guys. Oh, yeah? I wasn't anticipating. I have started... I never thought at 48 years old I would do this, I would get into this, and that I would take it so... I don't know, get into it so swiftly. But I started not too long after Christmas.
Starting point is 00:14:42 I haven't told you guys this, but I started streaming. And I've been really, I got really into it. And I got Emily into it. Emily's been streaming. Millie streams a little bit, but she was already streaming. And I guess I'd be what you'd call a variety streamer.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Anyway, I've been doing it a couple times a day lately. I've been kind of addicted to it. And I just don't know why I haven't told you guys yet, but I'm really into streaming. Yeah. Okay. I don't. I'm so confused. What does this mean? Here's what I'm concerned with, is that he keeps using the word streaming, and I think that we probably have different
Starting point is 00:15:13 definitions of what streaming might be. I think this is going to be a urine stream thing, is what I'm thinking. Urine stream? No, dude. I'm not urine streaming. I'm streaming. I think he's doing a split stream with the urine. He somehow found a way to have it shoot two different ways at once
Starting point is 00:15:30 and he's streaming. That's so fucking weird and gross, dude. You just talked about getting shit all over your hands. I don't want to hear weird and gross from you. Yeah, but I didn't do that on purpose. That was an accident that I had to deal with. I didn't intend to do it. I've been streaming. Oh, you stream too
Starting point is 00:15:45 I'm fucking addicted to soda stream Oh my god It is the greatest thing that's ever happened No way Dude are you fucking kidding me I got that for Christmas Here I'm streaming while we're talking
Starting point is 00:16:03 I'm gonna put this in the fucking Discord. So, you're making soda at home? Yeah, I don't have any trash anymore. I don't have soda cans to throw away. I make my own grapefruit bubbly with the syrup and a SodaStream machine. Not really a machine. Are you aware of the SodaStream, like like new drink mix flavor stuff that's coming out? No,
Starting point is 00:16:29 I'm just using, I'm using, I stream mostly, uh, Pepsi, uh, Pepsi zero and a diet story. Oh,
Starting point is 00:16:36 what do we got? Yeah. Pepsi max max. I have one. And these are just like the syrup. Yeah, I think so. Nick also is way into this for a guy who doesn't have one of these. They're doing a Mountain Dew one. Are these all just like the syrups? Yeah, I think so.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Nick also is way into this for a guy who doesn't have one of these. Dude, it's worth it. It's worth it. I might. You might? I thought there'd be more to that. You said it so excited. Nick said it like when a seal completes a trick, like the slap.
Starting point is 00:17:04 You're getting face jam Nick right now. It's really something. This is something. I looked on my bottle and it says, expires October 2026. Oh, mine expires. So I think after a while, the bottle integrity
Starting point is 00:17:17 might become slightly more explosive. I think mine expires in 2027. Can I ask a lot of questions about this thing yeah yeah i have some questions too is it better for you no then what yeah no what what do you think then soda it's cheaper it's cheaper and less waste. Okay. Okay. Can you like make it stronger or is it like a thing? Like you have like a packet of something. That was my question.
Starting point is 00:17:50 Like, cause you score, it's a squirt thing, right? So is it, well, there's different, there's different versions.
Starting point is 00:17:56 I don't know which one you have Gav, but the one I have has three strengths on it. Like normal, double or triple. And then triple do. Yeah. So you like, like what the way it works is you fill that you fill that glass up or that that plastic bottle up that i have or
Starting point is 00:18:09 gavin has there with with water and then you stick it in the machine the machine has a co2 cartridge in the back and then you just hit your strength level and then it shoots that amount in and then you always go with a little extra because i like yours is fancier than mine and then uh uh i just bought the middle of the road when there was like a cheaper one and a more expensive one I bought the one right in the middle I just have to pump three times if I want it normal or like pump it a few more times if I want it stronger oh no I don't pump like a bitch I just hit one button but then you pull it out and then you just pour a cap full of like diet starry in it and then it's immediately a fucking like two liter of soda wow I thought I was being such a dickhead when I posted my SodaStream bowl because I didn't
Starting point is 00:18:48 think for a chance that's what you were talking about. 100% what I'm talking about. Emily's dad got into SodaStream last summer. And when we were visiting, he wouldn't stop talking about it. And he was really trying to sell me on it. And I thought if he's still into it at Christmas, I'll think about it. We went there at Christmas, hard into S SodaStream maybe even more so than before and so when I got home I said fuck it
Starting point is 00:19:07 I bought it and it's been the best thing ever just the best thing ever have you gone to the lab yet because that is all I would be doing is mixing and matching different flavors trying to find the next combination what I'm doing right now is trying not to fuck it up because
Starting point is 00:19:24 if you do... I don't know if you've had this problem yet, Gavin. But if I don't have mine seated properly, if I'm not paying attention and I just slap it in wrong, it'll shoot carbonated water all over my kitchen. And then if you fuck up and pour the soda in, like you put the water in and then you pour the Diet Pepsi in before you soda stream it,
Starting point is 00:19:44 that will also explode your entire Kitchen, but that's even worse because it's with soda. It's quite shocking. Yeah, I do that probably twice a day Yeah, there's a certain order to things that it's not it's not pissing about when it comes to the instructions no No, take now seriously. I Don't want you to break your machine, but have you tried experimenting carbonating other things? Like, I feel like that's the other place my brain goes with this device. Carbonated, like marinate?
Starting point is 00:20:14 Yeah, or like, yeah, like a condiment, like ketchup, or like, what is carbonated mustard taste like? Mm-hmm, pickle juice, yeah. Applesauce. I'd love to try some carbonated applesauce i think what we should do is buy one for research purposes and then do that and not ruin minor gavin's yeah we'll have a lab version yeah i think that's a great idea i think there's a guy that carbonated milk right but didn't break it like i think it you have a danger of breaking
Starting point is 00:20:42 those things when you do that, from my understanding. But I'd love to know. I'd love to confirm it. I know that if you don't do it exactly the way it tells you to and in the order it tells you to, it makes you pay severely. It makes such a fucking mess. Such a mess. To me, whenever I'm using the SodaStream
Starting point is 00:21:01 or thinking about other people using it, I just picture Andrew using one, and I'm surprised that you're not a SodaStream guy. I had a SodaStream a very long time ago. Like kind of when they were new. And I didn't use it much outside of like the first run. I always had to try to get over the gap of getting another CO2 thing when it expires. That's like a real big detractor for me.
Starting point is 00:21:21 It just seems like a hassle. They sell them at Target. But they also have a program where you can mail yours back and they'll mail you a newor for me. It just seems like a hassle. They sell them at Target, but they also have a program where you can mail yours back and they'll mail you a new one for cheaper and you just have like a return program. Do you think if I just lock the empty canister in my office with all the cats,
Starting point is 00:21:33 we'll refill it ourselves? Eventually. Oh, shit. Andrew. Andrew and I played trucks the other night. Oh, my God. Yeah, I didn't even put that in my notes. We did the truck thing.
Starting point is 00:21:48 We played trucks. We finally did it. With the full crew, Bernie and Antonio and Andrew and I. You played early enough? Yeah. We worked it out on Monday night where Andrew made a block of time available for us, and we were able to fit that in. Andrew made a block of time available for us,
Starting point is 00:22:04 and we were able to fit that in. And Andrew got the full experience of being hit, being out of the game more than we were in it. We probably traveled a total of, I don't know, how far would you say, 60 yards maybe at most? Yeah, probably. We didn't get far. Not very far, no. No.
Starting point is 00:22:19 It was a great experience. One, just to, it was nice to see a different side of jeff trucks jeff is a lot of fun to hang out with not that i dislike any other side of jeff but you you're definitely a trucks jeff is a whole other and it's a different vibe man i'm trying to tell you like it is to me is and that's why i'm so glad you hopped in because i just i think you have to be in it to catch absolutely and i want that I want the content to feel like what that is if that makes sense I had such a good time and Gavin you haven't even experienced this window of it because your Spotify or whatever doesn't work but I got the
Starting point is 00:22:56 Spotify thing I was listening to the music with them I was really feeling I was having such a good time and I had to leave before they did and I just spent the rest of my night continuing to listen to that playlist. I was just sitting in bed listening to it. I think I'm sorted out now, though. Oh, really? Because Jeff added me to his family plan. Yeah, I did. I tried to add Andrew, but it didn't work.
Starting point is 00:23:16 It did not work. Yeah. It said, you are not. Fucker, you're in Canada. We're not falling for this. I had so much fun. They loved you, Andrew. They thought you were great.
Starting point is 00:23:25 Oh, that's wonderful. Yeah, they were so nice to meet them. Bernie loves to talk about art with anyone, and you seemed really interested. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I think that's how you win his heart over. Anyway, so I wanted to say thank you.
Starting point is 00:23:39 It was really fun. Thank you for inviting me, dude. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I'm glad you caught whatever that is, because I think now, when we make Tru content going forward it yes it'll be different it is because we kind of we get to see trucks Jeff we did a second video of trucks uh where you are like mother goose and we are just lost ducklings is sort of the feeling it had where we're all stuck in the mud and you're just so patient and calm with us as you pull us out.
Starting point is 00:24:06 That's the thing I like about trucks, man. No matter how rough it gets in the mud, there's no bad vibes in trucks. It's all good and supportive. It's all helpful. It's all just about... It's not even about finishing the mission. It's just about making incremental progress. In the second trucks video, Jeff, you loaned me your really good truck and i felt like i felt like i felt free yeah because when we so we finished a trucks video and i was so stuck like nick said i felt
Starting point is 00:24:36 nick says he feels stuck um i was i spent the entire time on the side of a mountain i had a headache after we finished because i was so mud stuck the entire time and felt like i did nothing i and i just thought you guys were trying to be funny no i was stuck and i couldn't do anything it was terrible like i had fun but it was just so frustrating trying to get out of the mud and getting stuck that i spent the next like five days every whenever i had time to play games I was exclusively playing trucks I got the tire chains I'm ready so next time we record gonna be completely different story I'm ready I'm ready okay that sounds great and I can always loan out
Starting point is 00:25:16 cars to y'all too like it doesn't have to be about y'all using shitty vehicles like when you know when we play trucks we use all of Antonio's vehicles I don't even ever use mine, but that's just for the, for getting kicked purposes, which you saw very quickly is a must. Otherwise you'd be wiping out all progress every time you're kicked, which would, I mean, you'd kill yourself pretty fast.
Starting point is 00:25:34 So did you know Gavin that, that Antonio and a burn dog used the trucking vernacular, uh, were trucks guys before they met jeff this is a side i thought this is such a funny story that uh i heard when i was playing i feel like i knew that they're the longtime truckers they were longtime truckers but they didn't want to introduce jeff to it because they were scared it would like intimidate him and he would stop playing games with them so like it made me think about when they first started and jeff was like i've been up playing call of duty till 2 a.m every night this is great and their
Starting point is 00:26:09 minds they really missed trucks but they didn't want to force him to play trucks because they were scared he'd stop playing games with them and then when jeff eventually got to the point where he was initiating trucks it was a game changer and i just thought that was so funny yeah they were like finally we can stop pretending to want to play these other games. I played so much Call of Duty Zombies I didn't really give a shit about just because I wanted to hang out with them
Starting point is 00:26:31 and I was having fun when we could have been playing trucks the whole time. Back when it worked, too. I'm backing on, Cod. They're so old on trucks that they played all this on the PS4 version. They're redoing it all on the Xbox because they got Xboxes.
Starting point is 00:26:44 I bet the PS4 version worked They're redoing it all on the Xbox because they got Xboxes. I bet the PS4 version worked better. It did, yeah. The original Xbox One version works better too, but... We got a new Trux game coming out in like a month and a half that I'm very excited about and I'm hoping it will fix
Starting point is 00:26:56 those stability issues. It's unfortunately not going to launch with co-op, I don't think. Oh, really? It'll be patched in later. We were doing some research last night. We were playing... When we were brutal
Starting point is 00:27:06 the night you and I played Andrew where we got kicked so much last night made that look like a success. Oh my God. I almost texted them last night at 1230 after we stopped and said I need to take a couple weeks off of trucks. I was so frustrated. But anyway, so I don't know. I don't know
Starting point is 00:27:21 that'll be an immediate help, but supposedly the new DLC Season 12 will fix the stability issues. We'll see. You playing a lot of Call of Duty, Gavin? Yeah, I've just been playing Warzone again. I've been playing with Meg. And I like the new map.
Starting point is 00:27:34 It's nice. I don't know how new it is, but I haven't played since the last map. I haven't been inviting you to trucks. I've seen you on a couple times playing Call of Duty, and I just assumed you were playing with Dan or something. I don't want to bug you. But now that I know you're playing with trucks. I've seen you on a couple of times playing Call of Duty, and I just assumed you were playing with Dan or something. I don't want to bug you. But now that I know you're playing with Meg, I'll bug you.
Starting point is 00:27:51 I've been doing a thing where whenever I find a bomb drone, I just stay near the edge of the smoke, and I look up at the skyscrapers, and I wait for people to jump off the building and start parachuting back into the circle, and I just crash bomb drones into their face while they're on parachutes. And it's so easy to do. I've done it a few times.
Starting point is 00:28:10 They get downed in the air and then just splat into the street. Can we try that in a video? That sounds great. I would love to. It's so satisfying. Oh, that sounds great. Oh, that's so funny. The best way to learn a language?
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Starting point is 00:29:57 Rules and restrictions may apply. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. We're deep in 2024. We have different goals we're trying to pursue. I'm doing, like, general BetterHelp just all around, trying to focus on sleep and just
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Starting point is 00:32:40 Try for yourself the shades rated 5 stars by over 250,000 people. Oh man, we're in kind of like a lull for games and then it's gonna ramp back up and i can't wait to have new stuff to play there's a new prince of persia that looks cool i'm really excited about that truck game although i didn't realize it doesn't have online co-op but i reached out to them and it sounds like we might be able to get an early code for jeff so i wanted to do like a let's play video where it's Jeff and the truck crew just like showing off the new game and like looking at stuff. I'm really hopeful that comes together. I think that'd be awesome.
Starting point is 00:33:13 I saw somebody in the comments. We're talking about game stuff. I saw somebody in a comment somewhere said, was like, why haven't they played Garfield cart together? Yeah. I need to double check that that has online multiplayer. That is such like,
Starting point is 00:33:24 I never wanted to force anyone else to play Garfield Kart when I was deep into that but that would be a great video I bought it so that I could try to beat your times and I gave up after a couple hours of trying I was like never mind I was so far off the mark and I so
Starting point is 00:33:40 didn't see a path to getting better to that level I just gave up immediately oh by the way Andrew I beat one of your Halo times what And I so didn't see a path to getting better to that level, I just gave up immediately. Oh, by the way, Andrew, I beat one of your Halo times. What? Are you serious? Oh, shit. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:33:56 How does this work? Does he have 24 hours? Do you have 24 hours now to beat it? Yeah, I think he has 24 hours to respond. He has to figure out what it is, what it is, like beat the time. He's got 24 hours from right now. Wow. Start the clock. I hope you didn't have any plans for the next 24 hours.
Starting point is 00:34:11 I'm looking. I have my games tab up right now. I got to start deleting stuff because I don't even have, it's MCC, I'm assuming. Yeah. It has to be, right?
Starting point is 00:34:19 Yeah. Halo 2. Oh, no. No, you didn't. It's not the same level, is it? It's a different level.
Starting point is 00:34:27 Different level. That's the one y'all streamed so much, right? Yeah, that was the one we did. That was, yeah. When we were done with the outskirts one, I refused to ever play that level again. I'm okay. Well, I'll see if I can figure out what this is
Starting point is 00:34:43 by the time we finish this recording. Unless we already did this. Did you already beat me me back this was months ago that I beat your time if you just declared that you beat my time and I've already taken the time back and it's on your side well I was holding it just to use whatever it came up but I'm wondering if I already spent it now okay I am. That, what you just described really sums up this podcast. Yeah, did I already use this bullet or did I get like an empty case of my revolver? You gotta stop, you gotta start deleting your notes after you say it.
Starting point is 00:35:21 Oh my god. Nick said I just cashed a bad check. Gavin, I was so pumped. I was so excited and now it's just like, I don't know, maybe. I don't remember spending this one yet. I've been holding it for a while. I'm installing it right now. We've been doing this podcast too long, I think. Can I cloud play this?
Starting point is 00:35:52 Let's clear the queue. I want to see if I can cloud launch this so it's even faster. Gavin, if you already played this, I thought... Do you know when you made the note it's not even a note I just think after last time we had one of these go around
Starting point is 00:36:13 it's just a thing you remembered yeah I just thought I'll quickly beat another level and I'll just whip it out whenever like times comes up oh and it is I feel like it is possible that I have already got it back because i would there was a time when i would just randomly check and then try to well i can tell you the level if you want to check this yeah tell me the level and i'm already in it i already cloud played it up
Starting point is 00:36:35 it's loading okay it is a regret oh the irony if this is that's beautiful I can chew at this one and sometimes I bite nothing and I'm just chewing jack shit I need to even remember how to view the leaderboard for this bit of rock okay campaign timing
Starting point is 00:37:04 halo 2 on uh legendary i assume yeah you're uh gavin you're getting to the age where your memory is starting to slip and i am enjoying it well this does a lot of lore and it's hard to remember yeah uh-huh uh okay displaying friends let's see i saw you in that worms video the other day your mind was slipping there too a little bit. It wasn't anything to do with lore. I need to go to bed is what I need to do. You stay up and play trucks with me. That's where you're fucking up. One of my notes says big hot dick.
Starting point is 00:37:40 I don't know what that means. What the fuck is going on? What is happening? What is big hot dick? I wish the notes app would tell you the day and time you wrote the note I know wouldn't that help if it was like 3 p.m. Wednesday, you'd be like, oh, right, that guy had a big hot dick. So this is the current leaderboard for regret. It's not even close. I have a six-minute lead on you. That can't be right.
Starting point is 00:38:20 Is that up to date? What do you mean, is it up to date? You think he just has an old file? No, sometimes it doesn't show the actual proper time. Like if I loaded it up, it might be different. Well, load it up. Oh, shit. This is a whole thing now. I mean, come on.
Starting point is 00:38:36 You got to load it up. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Six minutes. Wow. Are you sure it's regret? I'm going to just go through every level. Oh my god six minutes. Wow regret Every level what's the one where you punch the regret to death at the end? I think that's regret. Okay that one Okay, so let's see. I don't even think the armory has you have 12 minutes on that. Oh
Starting point is 00:39:14 I'm one of the dumbest people I know why did I think I had one of the bag what let me rummage around this bag I need to look at other levels I mean there are ones where you have a faster time than me, but... Oh! Which one? Show me, then, you fool. Which one's that? You're calling me a fool? Hurry up! I need to make this real! Oh, the bloody Master Chief Collection is an update.
Starting point is 00:39:38 Yeah, you're faster than that. You have a few. What's hilarious is you have multiple that are faster. It's just not regret. Oh! Not that one. Was it Cairo station. What one am I yeah? Yeah, you got a Cairo station one So I just did a ton and then I just never met okay. You've done two so far Okay, I wish I wish I'd remembered the right one that would have
Starting point is 00:40:04 So glad you didn't oh I wish I'd remembered the right one. That would have... Okay, you got Sacred Icon. I'm so glad you didn't. 27 gig update, huh? Three, Quarantine Zone. Let me see if I can load this game up. Brave Mind, you're twice as fast on that for me. Well, at least I got some. Yeah, you absolutely do.
Starting point is 00:40:21 You just issued the wrong challenge. I don't know. Sometimes I look at the leaderboard and it's different, depending on the console I'm on or PC. Well, I can just see what I'm seeing. Well, I'm loading the game up right now, so I'll see. Hopefully. We're friends, I think.
Starting point is 00:40:37 Wow, a 12-minute regret? That seems really fast. That was one I ran a lot. It's almost 13 minutes. It's 1254. The thing is, when we're doing the halo times you're so much better at it than I am like you're so much sneakier and coming up with strategies I genuinely felt like I was lucky to win that halo 2 speed racing bet with you you had such a good time I just really couldn't make up any ground I had a time and it only it
Starting point is 00:41:02 was like the second run of that day and it just everything worked. I've tried to do the Billy Mitchell thing of like having a new time preloaded to go when you eventually beat it. I just have not been able to ever get close enough to that. How do you see the times? It's in leaderboards. It's such a bummer because i spent so much time trying to sneak a new regret time there's no way i settled for 18 minutes and decided that was good is that maybe uh go to options yeah options and career yeah and then go to leaderboards and then tab
Starting point is 00:41:39 to campaign timing and then halo 2 and you can swap to friends and legendary uh okay uh what is the map regret i have a few friends i have andrew at oh you said legendary where do you switch it to legendary uh right tab right bumper oh i see uh okay i see see Andrew has a time of 1254, and Gavin has a time of 1638. Oh, so it's faster. 1838, I'm sorry. Oh, shit. Shit, butt.
Starting point is 00:42:16 Frickin' asshole. Didn't even give you two minutes there. It just keeps getting better. This is the best thing we've ever done. I'll have mine updated in three minutes. I'm going to look at mine. I don't know. If it's not different on mine, I don't know what I was thinking.
Starting point is 00:42:33 You said it's some ugly tip. Regret? I spent all my time on regret. Really? That's unfortunate. Oh, I wonder if I trapped the time. I wonder if I just never did the end. That would be wild.
Starting point is 00:42:50 Oh. Oh my god. You better load that game up and look. Oh, I suck. I suck. My brain sucks. I can't. I don't even know how to feel. I feel like this challenge hasn't started. Whenever we do the next,
Starting point is 00:43:06 if you've trapped it, like, I don't think it starts when you tell me which time I've got this better than yours. And then I back to you. How about you double check your time so we can run this back next time we do an episode. I'll act all surprised.
Starting point is 00:43:20 I'll be like, Oh my God, this fucking video game shit turned out to be so fun. Oh, by the way did you see jack's next time on from the episode that came out yesterday yeah some venom in it yeah some venom towards andrew pretty towards me i'm the one that argued that he was good ultimately you guys called him a ring doorbell you were way meaner than I was I mean not my idea was to put the doorbell sound but that was because Jeff called him a doorbell
Starting point is 00:43:53 I'll get I'm not gonna get gaslit on this one I was like you know what I'm sorry Jack you're good on this the other one who said his filming was shit that's not what I said I said that I was misled by you Gavin because I thought it was the final cut, and then I apologized for it, and then I did a joke apology.
Starting point is 00:44:09 You have never jumped to more conclusions than that fruit throw video of anything we've ever done. Well, I just... You said, do you want an edited version or just a raw version? Do you want the video or the raw footage from my phone? You said edited.
Starting point is 00:44:29 Right. I hadn't done it yet. How am I supposed to know that? We already had this debate. It's fine. We're moving on. We're doing the fucking regret thing. There's no regret thing. My point is, Jack better have given Venom to you two because
Starting point is 00:44:43 I was trying to be amicable. I think all the Venom was to you. Gavin and I were pretty free from it. That was great. I even saw him in the hallway yesterday and he hugged me and said he missed me. It's true. I saw that. I can verify Jeff's claim.
Starting point is 00:45:00 Yeah. It was a good hug too. I could tell he meant it. Are we doing office stuff on Friday? Yeah, we are. I think we're baking pies, right? Yeah, we're going to my house. We're pies and croutons. We have all these cosmic crisp apples
Starting point is 00:45:13 that we got to make pies out of. But I want us to do it without a recipe, which I made clear to Jeff. So Jeff looked up a recipe. All I did was look up cooking times because I just have no frame of reference for how long to cook a pie. Hey, Gavin, if I said we're doing it without a recipe and then you look up cooking times because I just have no frame of reference for how long to cook a pie. Hey, Gavin, if I said we're doing it without a recipe
Starting point is 00:45:28 and then you look up a recipe, would that be you looking up a recipe? I think so. I think without a recipe is eyeballing it, guesswork. Yeah. I don't really remember. I just remember it was like an hour or so. And I thought that seems like a long time to cook a pie.
Starting point is 00:45:45 I would have probably gone with 10 minutes, so. Right, and that would have been a funnier video. Oh, by the way, a tremendous amount of comments suggesting what we call the crouton thing. Have you seen it? No. What do they call it? The croutoff.
Starting point is 00:45:59 Oh, because it's crouton. That's fun. Very smart comment leavers. Gracie's excited. I think she's procured all of the croutons, so that'll be a crouton. That's fun. Very smart comment leavers. Gracie's excited. I think she's procured all of the croutons. So that'll be a crouton eating contest. And then also, we're making sandwiches. We're going to make the regulation sandwiches. So it's going to be a lot.
Starting point is 00:46:17 It's going to be a lot tomorrow, but we're going to have the stuff. And I'm going to bring a blindfold. So we'll have Cosmic Crisp apples, and we'll see what happens. Why do you think Gracie is so much more excited by the croutons than the table thing? She is a food freak. She's a freaky food person. Yeah, croutons are delicious. Do you know, I've been thinking about Gracie bowing out with the migraine all of a sudden, and I think I know what happened.
Starting point is 00:46:38 Uh-oh. Oh, yeah. Between recordings, she slacked me and asked me the dog's name, and I told her. I think her brain can't handle the knowledge and it's bursting you overloaded her? I think I overloaded her
Starting point is 00:46:52 she cheated at knowing the dog's name? no she didn't she just asked me the dog's name and I have no quarrel with her so I told her the dog's name I guess me just drawing conclusions there right right right and now her brain hurts because the name is so good i don't know but i'm it's got me scared to ever tell you guys the names i don't want to hurt your brains
Starting point is 00:47:15 oh we weren't learning it anyway so it's fine it's excellent point i've almost learned it like three times now but when i was playing trucks it was almost sad and jeff had to go whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa calm down luckily yeah uh so when i was uh out of it last time we recorded i think we talked about fruits and rebranding fruits oh right that was the whole thing that we're talking about did Did we? Oh, Gavin just posted a photo of his regret time on his end. Yeah, it is, once again, the exact same time that has been said two times
Starting point is 00:47:51 previous. It is still 18 minutes 38 against 1254. Can I go and look on my other Xbox? Do whatever makes you happy. So Andrew got that time with zero deaths, and you got it six minutes slower with 21 deaths? Is that what I'm reading?
Starting point is 00:48:09 Yeah. I got new techniques. He's working on it. He's pushing out the game plan. I'm a boron. Sorry, Kara. Oh, now you are. What's one of the times you do have them beat at?
Starting point is 00:48:25 And then let's have that be it. I just feel like he really took the wind out of the sails of what was happening. I think we gotta wait a week. I burnt down my sails. Because I'm about it. I just... I have 11 minutes 28.
Starting point is 00:48:39 I just want to point out that that image is titled shitballs.jpg. I didn't think that showed up. But we're talking about fruit, rebranding fruit. What is a fruit that needs a rebrand, a less popular fruit? So I did some reconnaissance. I did some research into this to see which fruit we could potentially assist. Who needs a refresh?
Starting point is 00:49:03 And I'm going to be honest, I was pretty shocked by by my results I tried to figure out like what is a way I originally just googled popular least popular fruit and that was not that was not helpful there was not a lot of data I could gather so the best point of research I could think of to come up with was I went on Walmart because I figured there's Walmart's essentially everywhere and they have an online store and you could filter by sold like most sold to least sold essentially and I was shocked to learn so I did my local area first that the least popular that is like a specific branded fruit is none other than the Bartlett pear it was fourth on list, but the rest were kind of generic. The Bartlett pear. I did not expect a pear
Starting point is 00:49:47 to be so low on the list. Bananas below it, but I think that's just like a cost thing as opposed to quality of the fruit. And also banana doesn't need a rebrand. Everyone knows banana. It's an iconic. It's a staple when you think of fruit
Starting point is 00:49:59 in a way that I guess a pear isn't. A pear, I feel you could really say is like the John Hawks of fruits, as I guess maybe what I compare it to, bring it full circle. But then I thought, well, maybe, because it's my local store, maybe it's just my area,
Starting point is 00:50:13 and I live in a smaller place, so I went to, I found a Walmart in Toronto, one of the largest populated areas in Canada. Same thing, same exact placement, Bartlett pear, bottom four, and then I went to another one and once again same results we got the Bartlett struggling the back the Bartlett needs some assistance is what I'm gathering so maybe if we want to try to think of a rebrand for Bartlett
Starting point is 00:50:37 you want to zimmer the Bartlett I think we could zimmer the Bartlett I think we could maybe adjust the value bring it popularity i did send i think you have really nailed it i think the pear is the perfect fruit to try to resurrect or try to refresh their image it's a solid fruit it's a unique fruit it's an overlooked fruit yeah so i was i was trying to think of like, find the equivalent essentially of the Cosmic Crisp to like reach out to you to give them our assistance. And I found a website that's called like pearusa.com. And they seem to be like just the generic like, we're the pear people. We got pear information.
Starting point is 00:51:18 So the evening I was incredibly sick and out of it. I wrote them a rather unhinged email i would say about pears at 2 a.m and i will post that into the thing uh and they have not replied to this email the email reads hey i hope you have an awesome day don't mind this random email i just wanted to uh nope that's the wrong thing. That is completely the wrong message. That is unrelated to anything. I don't know exactly what that is. Yeah. I thought it was crazy that it started with hay.
Starting point is 00:51:53 That really took the wind out of your sails. Yeah, it sure did. I gaveted it. I'm full of regret. Eric, you got any bits you want to fuck up real fast? No, I'm good. I'm a horn for the ride, fellas. Here we go. Hello, my name is Ian Vanden. I'm going for the ride, fellas. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:52:05 Hello, my name is Ian Vanden. I'm an avid fruit connoisseur. I have a real passion for fruit and I'm constantly doing research into the industry, specifically in the areas of popularity and sales. I think seeing what fruit grabs the attention of the public at various times to be both insightful and incredibly informative.
Starting point is 00:52:23 In my most recent round of research, I have uncovered something that I found deeply disturbing in regards to the Bartlett pear. My data has led me to realize that the Bartlett is one of the worst-selling fruits across all of Canada. I didn't know who to alert, but upon discovering this site, it seems that you are the leading authority on pears in North America. Being the lead authority,
Starting point is 00:52:43 I'm sure you're well aware of the struggle of the Bartlett, but I'm curious how you feel about all this. Why aren't Canadians buying the Bartlett? Does it need a rebrand? I have some reports that the Bartlett might be discontinued and phased out in the next few years. What are your thoughts,
Starting point is 00:52:57 and do you think the Bartlett could bounce back? I'd hate to lose a classic pear. All the best, Andrew Payton. I've not heard back. The perfect mix of intriguing and condescending. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I have not heard from them. I also reached out to a local independent grocery store
Starting point is 00:53:17 just to see if they'd be willing to discuss sales of fruits and maybe what in the local, see if their data matches with mine. Haven't heard back from them either. So a lot of stuff is pending, but I do think that we could maybe come up with a rebrand for the Bartlett. I have an idea
Starting point is 00:53:33 for you. I have an idea for you. What do people want in a pear? What do people want in a fruit? They want to feel cool. They want to look cool. They want to be cool. They want fruit to be cool, right? What's cooler than rock and roll? What's cooler? What's the coolest form of rock and roll? Punk rock and roll, right? There is an incredibly popular punk band named Pairs. They're a major punk band. They're huge. They're at the top of the game right now in the punk world in terms of respect
Starting point is 00:54:03 and popularity. Here's what I think you do. I think you reach out to the band Pairs. You get them on board and say, this is your namesake. Pairs are taking a beating in Canada. We need to cool up Pairs a little bit. Maybe you can convince them to write a new jingle or a new theme song for Pairs.
Starting point is 00:54:20 That's a great idea, Jeff. As soon as we're done here, I'm pursuing this lead and I will get back to you. Maybe they can perform a pair benefit concert in Canada It's entirely possible there on fat records if you want to reach out to the record label live pair Donations to save the pears something like that like a like a telethon type thing is that you're thinking Gavin yeah Yeah, just something that people go to I mean you sounded you suggested the idea and then you sounded like I invented it and I'm throwing it onto you you seem very unconfident about well I was just thinking more like live aid yeah that's the exact point okay that's the comparison I okay do people call into that I don't know I just want
Starting point is 00:55:02 somebody to say that Gavin free doesn't like pears on like a segment like a charity thing that's a little apple for me and where's apple on the grand scale five six out of ten yeah but what if you saw a pair with a mohawk and a leather jacket with studs on it with a guitar you might feel a little different i don't think i'd eat it would you eat that pear i might be too scared to but i'd be intrigued i think i think if you really want to get to the bottom of what's up with pears you have to find all the problems that people have with pears and then try to solve those problems i always underestimate the slippage of a
Starting point is 00:55:41 pear i think the problem people have with a pear is its actual strength people say a pear is too sandy i think that's i think that's i think that's the nice part about it no other fruit is sandy like a pear yeah i don't mind the grit but sometimes you can take a bite and it will just shoot down your throat and trying to handle the cut open part of the pear it's very slippery cut peaches will do the same thing super slippery what if you like here's another one because pears are naturally gritty what if you worked out where you could like eat it and like if you're a construction dude or a woodworker you can like eat and then sand a little bit of wood and then eat from the other side and sand a little bit and you could show like a pear can be a workplace tool and a snack. I like that. That's an innovative
Starting point is 00:56:26 idea. What is the most disturbing fruit skinned? Oh, Jesus. Oh, I think a grape looks really fucking weird skinned, dude. Yeah, a grape does. I feel like something like a pomegranate because it wouldn't really like hold together.
Starting point is 00:56:42 That's what I was about to ask. Is it with its held shape? I think if you can skin it and hold its shape that's a bonus but i mean that there's surely some that you can't do that with i think i would be alarmed to see a watermelon skinned just hanging out uh yeah just a big red ball yeah just a red ball dragon fruit it's got the it's so yeah it's so crazy on the outside and then you peel it and it's just white with little seat like speckled seeds all through it's just not it's like the total opposite it's very weird it's the scooby-doo villain of fruits it's you you get your hands on it and you look what's under the hood and it's not at all what is presenting itself to be it's
Starting point is 00:57:21 completely different has he we would look cool yeah kiwi would look cool? Yeah, kiwi would look cool. Has anyone ever skinned a watermelon before? Yeah. I've never seen that. I feel like I've seen videos of it. Oh, it looks so cool. I don't think I've seen it, but I assume that that has been done countless times. Can we get a photo?
Starting point is 00:57:41 I'm going to do this so bad. Maybe we should each... Oh, that looks awesome That look awesome. I and I looks like a cranberry on steroids. Well my god. I want to eat that Eric Can we skin watermelons on Friday too we can try I just don't know how do our well I think that's the thing with this season that can't possibly be that watermelon Why can't oh you think it's a fake i think that's two melons because you can't perfectly scoop out a melon from the green without annihilating it i think you guys have to find out on friday that is that is the internals of a different melon and the
Starting point is 00:58:16 other the green part is melon bald this is what i think i think you freeze it you got to freeze the melon and i think you could do that interesting just just chiseled it off. Yeah, like if you freeze it. I think it will hold yeah like that like it Looks like a dog's dick. Oh my God guys. I want to eat that so fuck it I want to just fucking take bites out of it. Let's make one of these but look at this melons I'm getting super into there's that that's like a fucking watermelon oyster full of little watermelon pearls Oh shit That's like a fucking watermelon oyster full of little watermelon pearls. Holy shit. If you guys don't fuck around with watermelons tomorrow, I'm going to be real mad at you.
Starting point is 00:58:49 I'm going to be real disappointed. I'm going to be mad at me too, man. God damn, it looks like a giant bean. All right, I'll see what we can do for tomorrow. We should do this with all fruit. We should skin one half. Like a kiwi. The green bit of a kiwi sat inside the brown. Like a kiwi? The green bit of a kiwi sat inside
Starting point is 00:59:07 the brown bit of a kiwi? Be amazing. I feel like that's gross. I don't like that. When I picture it in my head. I don't know. The fuzziness and then the... I just don't like that blend. The melon, it works because it's a smooth texture on both sides even though it's harder. I just want to touch it. I bet it's cold in your
Starting point is 00:59:24 hands in a good way. You know what I mean? It's like cold and a little wet and heavy. I just want to touch it. I bet it's cold in your hands in a good way. You know what I mean? It's like cold and a little wet and heavy and you just want to like bury your face in it. I just want to eat it so hard. So weird.
Starting point is 00:59:35 Eat it so hard. I do. I want so much. I could eat that entire watermelon I bet like that. Are you going to have it as an appetizer or like a dessert
Starting point is 00:59:44 after your croutons dude my flavor dick is getting hard right now all right that's okay flavor dick okay we gotta start wrapping up this is terrible um are we already at the end yeah yeah shit that was oh i didn't even i i would tell i i wanted to tell you guys a funny story real fast it's real fast eric won't mind i went and saw iron claw the other day with millie he already knows this story he's heard it a couple times i went and saw iron claw the other day with Millie. He already knows this story. He's heard it a couple times. I went and saw Iron Claw the other day with Millie at the Alamo Drafthouse.
Starting point is 01:00:07 It's the first movie I've been to in a long time. And we sat down and they kept showing these Disney and DreamWorks trailers, which seemed really weird for the Iron Claw.
Starting point is 01:00:14 You know? And then the movie came on and they played Iron Giant. Oh, no. You went to the wrong theater? No, no, no, no. Did they fuck up? No, they fucked up.
Starting point is 01:00:26 They had to stop it. They got about four minutes in. They had to stop it. They had to change the aspect ratio, and then they played Iron Claw. Oh, my God. Somebody just hit the wrong fucking button, I guess. This is the Alamo?
Starting point is 01:00:37 Yeah, Alamo Village. They just got a laptop up there? They're just playing these off a computer? Well, I think as Aaron was pointing out, they have a 25th anniversary thing going on right now and like like gus just saw election and i think iron giant's one of the 25th anniversary movies just funny that uh that mistake happened that reminds me the time we went to see a drive-in for blaine's birthday and we and they accidentally mirrored the the iphone that was playing the film are you serious the list of
Starting point is 01:01:03 phones on the list of films on the phone. That's funny. I thought you were going a completely different way with that, that you were like, I didn't know Zac Efron was a high school musical kid. Like when you said Disney stuff,
Starting point is 01:01:13 I still thought it was relevant to him, but you just didn't know. No, I thought it was relevant to him too because he was in High School Musical. I was like, that's fucking weird. This is strange. But I guess that's the throughput. And they did show like, they showed the trailer for the new Planet of the Apes movie. And so I was like, well, that's a weird yeah but I guess that's the throughput and they did show like they showed the
Starting point is 01:01:25 trailer for the new Planet of the Apes movie and so I was like well that's a badass movie that's kind of cool that makes sense but then it was just like cartoon cartoon cartoon cartoon and and even I was telling when I was telling Eric and and the fucking two dudes sitting to the left of Millie and I one of the guys leaned over to me he goes are you here to see Iron Claw and I was like yeah yeah I was like I don't know he's like these are bizarre trailers yeah that's i guess even the trailers are tied to the thing is iron giant a good movie yeah i mean i haven't i only watched four minutes of it but i uh no i've seen it before it's a really good movie vin diesel is the iron giant yeah superman yeah it's good it's uh yeah it's really creative my uncle worked on it it was really creative and it was it was cool when it
Starting point is 01:02:11 came out it was uh i think it still probably holds up pretty well good story uncle sounds cool he is a great guy my uncle's awesome he works on uh all kinds of stuff he's a visual effects guy um he's great lives in la L.A. It's fantastic. Does he ever go on Corridor Crew? All of your responses to that, Eric. Yeah, but who lives on Corridor Crew? All of your responses sounded like he isn't real. Like you're trying to convince us that you're just like
Starting point is 01:02:38 throwing random detail, detail, detail, detail. Who told you that he's not? He's got a dirt bike, and sometimes on the weekend, he lets me drive his dirt bike and he can drink for years. He's really, he works at Nintendo. Didn't we think that Eric's brother
Starting point is 01:02:51 wasn't real at one point as well? Why do you have the most unbelievable family? I don't know. No one buys your family. I don't know what to tell you. They're all real. Where does your uncle land on fruit?
Starting point is 01:03:06 Oh, he's for it it dude is super pro fruit for sure you think he's ever skinned a watermelon before I'll have to give him an ask he's a visual effects artist so he probably thinks visually he probably had the idea and did it years ago he does probably think visually yeah so let's get a melon
Starting point is 01:03:22 and see if Jeff can make that using a single watermelon yeah i mean i i already i've said it in motion where i think i think we're making it happen should be fine should have it tomorrow excellent um tomorrow's gonna be a great day that should be some supplemental content coming out uh down the line but do you know what came out as of uh this recording does it do does it do is out now on our YouTube channel and facepod.com. Dude, I have to say,
Starting point is 01:03:48 who cut that trailer for does it do on Instagram? I think that might have been Devin. It was really good. Devin did such a good job with that trailer of escalating and just making it appear so fucking unhinged, which I guess maybe the show is unhinged. I haven't watched it.
Starting point is 01:04:03 Oh, it 100% is. I only watched the one cut that gavin and i watched at new year's eve but uh yeah just just you and gavin yeah it just made me realize how how for that show i'm just along for the ride like jeff is just a train and i just have to like hop on and hop off at various points he just goes and i i've i just have no idea what's going to happen Jeff does something and I've seen I think four or five of these episodes at this point but Jeff you do something and I won't spoil it it I think it's the funniest thing I think you've ever done and
Starting point is 01:04:33 it breaks Gavin in the same way it broke me when watching it and it's is it such a simple thing but it is so fucking funny is it with the cake or with the mask it's something different cake or with the mask? It's with a mask. Or is it something different? It's with a mask.
Starting point is 01:04:49 It's great. I can't wait for people to see it. Well, that's in the trailer, isn't it? Is it? Okay, well, I haven't seen the trailer for it, but what you do with that mask. I don't know how it happens. I don't know how it happens,
Starting point is 01:05:01 but that's what makes it so funny is you seem equally shocked by it, and then you just leave it,'s so funny i can't in the back of my head i'm trying to understand the math of how those two those two things are in the same place on my own face and eventually i just go like it doesn't hurt so i'm just gonna keep going have you seen it have you seen it since recording it no let's get a screen let's post a screenshot of it it's it's so funny i don't it's probably gonna i can't insert that because it'll take a bit i assume to get to there but it's so funny post it's so funny to hear you say that gavin that you're just there for the ride i feel like i'm just trying to fill space like when we're there i'm like it's
Starting point is 01:05:40 like go and then it's like okay let's start making something happen i'm just trying to make it not quiet when we're doing it okay is it the third episode i'm scrubbing through here i don't remember i watched them a little while ago but oh my god the whole season it is really good i feel like as we were going to we're so far away from the original premise of season one, which I tried to hold really tight with the, like the kind of the character I play in it. And then, and try to keep it contained while this, this,
Starting point is 01:06:14 the world kind of gets crazy around us in season two. I just start giving up. And I just like, it's just, I give up any pretense of it. It's just like, here's, here's how we're going to make a mess.
Starting point is 01:06:23 You keep adjusting your hair, but there are times where your hair is positioned in a way that you're like Woody Woodpecker and it just is so perfect. It's because it keeps having weird shit in it.
Starting point is 01:06:34 Gavin hits me with ranch dressing five minutes into recording and I just smelled ranch dressing for the next day straight. Because I did it. I did it. I did a thing where I just squirt stuff sort of in your approximate direction
Starting point is 01:06:47 without looking where it goes. And I have no idea how much went on here. All right, I'm going to post this. It's also like permission to be as dirty and gross as you want to be and not feel bad about it for like three hours. Yeah. I mean, physically. Like covered in muck and goo and stuff.
Starting point is 01:07:07 Yeah. That should be the thumbnail, no? I mean, like, oh my God. I don't understand how my nose and my eyeball are both in the eye hole. It looks like a horrible injury. Like you've been in a boxing match. It looks like Jason Voorhees in the second movie with the bag. I didn't know my nose could go that far up.
Starting point is 01:07:32 It's so far away from my mouth. There's like a whole face between my nose and my mouth. The teeth in the beard is so fucked. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You look like the dudes from the band episode of The X-Files. Nick is right. That's absolutely... You just look fucked. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You look like the dudes from the banned episode of the X-Files. Nick is right. That's absolutely you just look fucked. Oh my god.
Starting point is 01:07:49 It somehow looks worse from further away. Well, I just, that's not where a nose goes. And there's also another nose on the fucking on the mask, so it's just ultra confusing. Oh, it's perfect. Jesus Christ. confusing oh it's perfect i can't i'm so happy we did it and i can't imagine we're gonna do a third season of doesn't do unless somebody wants to pay for it because we're just it's so hard to come up with fucking products and even like i don't want
Starting point is 01:08:25 to get into the whole fight again but even like three of the products we did in this season we said no to but somehow we ended up doing them which is fine which is i don't want to start the fight well they don't fucking bring it up but my point is is that even those episodes are still really fucking good and really fun but i just like I just don't know that there's enough products out there to do another season. I mean, if we find the products, the episodes kind of make themselves. Yeah, it's just about finding the products.
Starting point is 01:08:52 I like that we've come full circle, by the way, on two noses on the same head. That's... Oh, that's great. That's really fun. That's a really good point, yeah. Which I think was the end of the last episode now? I think so.
Starting point is 01:09:05 Yes. Yeah. Yep. Wow. So Does It Do is out. You can watch it on our YouTube channel and on F***FacePod.com. Whatever works for you. That's fine.
Starting point is 01:09:14 Just watch it and let us know what you think. And then we should have some more stuff that I don't know that we're quite talking about yet. That'll be coming in the next couple weeks. Dude, I can't wait till we're talking about it because I don't know what the fuck you're on about oh i do i'm excited what are you on about we'll don't find out it comes out i know it comes out the 31st nick is it something i already recorded no no oh it's something it requires travel it's yes it's the thing we're gonna go and do and then come back and continue to do. Where are we going?
Starting point is 01:09:47 Wow. How do I kick Nick out of here? Okay. But that's it. That's the end of the episode. Now, wrap up the episode. Can I just have like a group agreement that we all think that Nick hasn't been in the mask yet? Yeah, I was going to bring it up earlier, but I don't think he's been in the mask either.
Starting point is 01:10:02 I also don't think he's been in the mask. Because this is my quarter. This is your quarter. That's true. And he's been in the mask either. I also don't think he's been in the mask. Because this is my quarter. This is your quarter, that's true. And I've been keeping an ear out. Did you guys see that they're discontinuing Fruit Stripe Gum? No. Yeah. I was excited to see you turn that into a closing thing for the show. Yeah, I'm really excited for that being
Starting point is 01:10:18 the outro. No, I don't know. I just thought it was interesting. It's been around for a million fucking years, and they're finally getting rid of it. So, you know, sad day. Goodbye to fruit-striped gum. It's been around since the 60s. Like the Choco Taco.
Starting point is 01:10:31 Goodbye. Well, the 60s was over 50 years ago, so we don't remember it anymore. That's true. There you go. It's been around as long as our popular culture's collective memory, which is only 50 years. Well, what won't be around is us in 20 seconds. Goodbye. Hey guys, Major League Fan Jack here with a look
Starting point is 01:10:50 at next week's episode of F*** Face. I can't believe my eyes. That is not enough light. Where did Lady Bird get her nickname? Almost time for a crude off. Andrew has nice shoes. He did it. The son of a bitch did it. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil.
Starting point is 01:11:05 All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.

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