F**kface - Getting Our Dicks Wet In The New Year // Signs from Howard Stern [187]

Episode Date: January 3, 2024

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew wish you a Happy New Year and talk about asshole sweat, making Nick wear the monkey mask on this podcast, asshole updates, the beanhole, Andrew finding the Monopoly money, 10 inch tweezers, how Gavin grips sticks, lore consultant, new year's resolutions, getting jacked hands, giant forearm guy, Lady in the Water, more Melting Pot updates, foreign F**kface, who’s more American?, trying to get the billboard in Indiana, cheating the cock award system, the nominations, Andrew’s campaign, searching for guidance, Geoff’s sign from Howard Stern, peak sleep routines, The Hateful Eight, the year we change the name of this podcast, and more. Subscribe to the LetsPlay channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkxctb0jr8vwa4Do6c6su0Q Sponsored by BetterHelp http://betterhelp.com/face , Babbel http://babbel.com/FACE , HelloFresh http://hellofresh.com/facefree code facefree , FIRST http://fuckfacepod.com/first get FIRST for $5.99 a month or $4.99 a month on a yearly plan! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🎵 Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. This is episode 187. It's an ominous number. My name is Geoff Ramsey, with me as always Andrew Panton and Gavin Free, and this is the first podcast of 2024. Hello! How are you not sweating on your asshole?

What do you mean, sweating? Well, she said after she waxed, just don't sweat there. But how do you... That's easier said than done. What does... Wait. Your instructions were don't sweat there? Yeah.

She did say that, yeah. Maybe baby powder your asshole? Like, I don't know like that's not a thing you could will but maybe you could do preventative stuff i don't know if i'm gonna pour baby powder in my freshly yanked follicles i mean you already shoved hot wax i don't i don't know that my asshole sweats that much on an average day like i'm gonna i got a reasonable temperature in the house. I'm not wearing too many clothes,

so I don't... I'm not super worried about a sweaty butt. Are you having sweat problems? Do you turn the air down? No, I'm just self-conscious about it. I'm just, you know, sat on a chair, and I've got sort of a new trappage area. There's less...

There's more of a seal now. I also think that... Oh, that was weird. I just moved in my... Ugh. It is taking some a seal now. I also think that... Oh, that was weird. I just moved in my... It is taking some getting used to. Happy New Year, by the way. Happy New Year. Happy New Year.

Okay, so that's... Okay, before we get more into the assholes and everything, it is Happy New Year. What are we doing about Nick wearing the mask? Oh! Oh, it starts today. There's no way that he's started. There's no way.

He has to wear it before we start, right? He can't just put it on in the middle. I just want to make sure this is... People keep raising it to me, and I don't want to hear about it anymore, so we need to figure out what's going on here. Bullets are back in guns. Yeah, Nick has

52 chances to wear the mask, but he has to wear it the whole episode. If he gets it by us, he wins again. Okay, but wasn't there something where we were doing it quarterly or something? We each get one guess.

And then we said we were going to listen extra hard in certain times. Oh, yeah. So who's taking Q1? I can't remember. Q1 is Gavin, I've decided. Oh, no way. I was in Q1, was I?

Yeah. As of right now, you are. Q2 is Andrew. I'll be Q3, and then Eric can be Q4. And I guess we have... If it gets that far. We have recruited Gracie now, so... We do.

Yeah, Gracie maybe has like a floating, like she's really just got to like keep an ear open the whole time. Yeah, you get a guess too, Gracie now so we we do yeah Gracie maybe has like a floating like she's really just gotta like keep an ear open the whole time yeah you get a guest too Gracie Gracie you have no idea what the fuck we're talking about um so Nick is going to wear the monkey mask on one episode of this show and we have to figure out which episode it's in uh but we only get one guest each uh so Nick for trying to trick us. He's trying to do a Nick trick. What if Nick was so on the ball,

so ahead of the game, and he just plunked it on between recordings? There's no way. There's no way, right? I don't think he has the guts. That would have been the move, though. But I feel like Nick was maybe too distracted today with all the anus stuff. It's probably the most safe he would have been.

Maybe. Oh, that's some bullshit. It's probably the most safe he would have been. Maybe. Oh, that's some bullshit. He's like deliberately muffling himself. He is trying so hard to make it sound like he's in a mask. I'm not falling for that fake-out shit. Oh! You sounded completely different to that point than just all of a sudden.

Nick has waxy assholes on the brain today. He's not thinking about his monkey mask. Also, Nick, I think, favors episodes without Eric. So I think I'm going to be more, because that's how we did it last time. Interesting. Interesting. Okay, now we have that figured out.

We have the Nick Mask situation figured out. We're talking about your assholes right now. Can I ask you guys, the time of this recording is the day that you guys have gotten waxed. Can you, when something feels weird or just kind of piques your interest, like with your buttholes over like the next few weeks, can you just like make a note? Just jot it down somewhere on your phone or something and bring it up because do you not have enough information about her assholes yet? Well,

we did get 30 minutes of it. Here's the thing. I have information on your smooth, smooth butt holes, but as time goes, hair turns. And I feel like with Jeff, I don't know if it's ever going to come back fully,

but with you, I imagine in two or three days, you're going to be back in true form, and I want to know what that feels like. She did say your ass hair will grow back softer than before. It'll actually be nicer. So we are looking for like, I will say I'm noticing one thing where like one side of my ass

is sticking to the other side of my ass in a way that it's never done before. I think that the hair breaks that seal. And so it is a little uncomfortable to have like sticky like yeah like sticky asshole. But that also might just be leftover wax or whatever too. But probably it's pretty bad. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah we'll keep you updated.

Probably. I think it's pretty, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, we'll keep you updated. Thanks. I mean, I just think it's important to, like, walk the audience through this process as your hair grows back and you have sticky asshole

or slick poops or whatever's going on. I just think it's important. I mean, when you plant a seed, you want to see it grow. It's important to get these updates as we progress. Shall I time-lapse it coming back? Yes. Also, tell us if it's

soft. Verbally. Let us know how it feels growing a Chewbacca from your anus. Keep us updated. Did you find the money yet? I haven't found the money yet. I'll look more into that a bit later. It'd be real great if you found it right now. It would be. Should I just focus

on thumbsticks? Let me look. What the fuck do I know? You're asking me to find it, so I'm just confirming that you want my focus on that instead of being more focused on the show. I'm looking. This is the show. Yeah, but I'm...

Eric, you understand what I'm saying. You understand what I'm saying. Yeah, and I can't imagine how mad it would make me if I said, do you want me to do this to focus on the show and somebody told me this is the show i would be so i'd be fucking livid where are we going next car okay fucking die fine whatever we're legitimately recording the show right now what better time could we have for him to find it than right now we don't want him to find it okay fair enough fair enough we also at some point soon need to actually put beans in the new

bean hole because yes as people have currently pointed out that all they have is dirt from a dirt hole and no but that's but that's pre-bean all that is yeah pre-bean that you gotta take the dirt out of the hole before you can put the beans in the hole Right but what I'm saying is Until beans have hit the hole They don't actually have bean hole dirt yet Alright well what are you doing this weekend Yeah what's up

Cooking beans Let's cook some beans this weekend You wanna have a little beanie Saturday Yeah a little Christmas beanie Saturday Let's do it Okay I gotta go buy the supplies Beans Christmas beanie Saturday. Let's do it. Okay. I gotta go buy the supplies. Beans?

I gotta get a new Dutch oven thing. You gotta get new dirt. What are you gonna do differently? I left the last one in my backyard just to... I cleaned it out. I threw the beans away. I left the thing just in the backyard to rust. I was so mad at it. So I gotta buy it.

It's gonna sink into the ground and then some other asshole can dig it up and find it. I think he found the money. Gavin. Where was it? I found the money. And I also now have a thumbstick that's five inches. What it should be ten. This son of a bitch rolled it into the longest thumb stick.

What? And put it all the way at the thumb stick part. There's no way for me to get this. How did you get it so deep in there? Maybe you can see now why I wanted you to have a freaking camera on your thumbs. You fool. I didn't hear anything because it blew out. He was so mad it all cut out can you get angry and do that again please let me do it less angry that's why i wanted you to have a freaking camera on your thumbs you fool

oh that's why you kept pushing the camera thing yeah oh god how damn. How long have they been in his house? Or how long has the money been there? Six months, maybe. Oh, my God. It's been a while. Six months. Yeah, now you can see why I was hammering that point. What was... Okay.

Makes sense. I had to break the thumb stick to get the money out. What was the thought in how I was going to retrieve this while also using them the way they were intended? Oh, I put it up there with tweezers. How long of tweezers do you have? I got some long ones.

It's 10 inches. What are you doing with 10 inch tweezers? Well, I only had to push them up. You know, it was the... I probably had to push it up like six inches to get the money

to touch the top. Goddamn. Well, I'm glad that there are other sticks coming. Yeah, have we talked about that yet? No, we haven't. Andrew has major complaints about my sticks. Oh, his sticks are the worst, Jeff. His sticks don't work.

Is it because they're full of money No, it's not it's because their shit is the reason why they don't work because they barely fit Are you able to share a picture of the this discovered cash sure give me a sec Yeah, do you still have that cell phone from the 1960s? Time and I got timestamp on it everything everything? Yeah, there's some tolerance issues. I printed two sets so I could also use the sticks myself in unison. But my sticks stay on just fine. I think it's something to do with the claw grip that Andrew employs.

No, it doesn't. Your sticks were flying off just like mine. As soon as we got off the base... I don't believe you. I don't believe you for a second. As soon as we got off the base, I don't believe you. I don't believe you for a second. As soon as we got off the base sticks, we got, we're on the first set,

the smallest extension. Anytime I have to rotate, like move them left or right, they fly off the thing. They don't grip at all. I have to constantly be trying to grab and reload my sticks to move. They're a disaster. I got to be honest.

I think it's because of the way you grip sticks. I agree. I think Gavin's right. Because if your thumbs are on them, they're pushing it down. They're holding it in place. But the way you do it, you're not putting that downward pressure on anything. Well, I got to be honest. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

You have no idea. You've never used these. So I don't know why you're giving feedback on who's right and who's wrong. He's right, though. I'm trusting Gavin. on who's right and who's wrong he's right though I'm trusting Gavin, Gavin tells me he doesn't have the issue I've seen the way you hold a controller, it's not normal 2024 is starting off pretty aggressive listen Andrew's

a little salty right now because you got him six months ago and he just found out it's to be expected, I'd be salty too I'm salty because I wanted more monopoly money than this i was i had plans for this this is gonna be an investment well you were very you were pretty set on me not nailing it or screwing it to your door so i had to get it in well the door would shatter so yeah i was pretty set on you not breaking the door

congratulations gavin the sticks are terrible yeah that was really good door. Congratulations, Gavin. The sticks are terrible. Yeah, that was really good. You did it. What happens now? Nothing. I don't know. I don't remember.

It wasn't like a prize or Yeah, I think Andrew now has to run three marathons. Yeah. Or it was like you got to eat some gum or something. I don't know. I don't remember. I don't remember

Both did it we need we need like you know how Star Wars and LucasArts or whatever Lucasfilm has Like law people people to manage the law across the whole universe. Yeah, people to maintain the Bible Maybe we could find a comment lever Who has a great handle on the law as and we can use them as like a consultant, a law consultant. Yeah. Someone who is just like available on discord while we record. And we could just type type questions while we're, while we're recording,

just in case. Hmm. I'm face historian. If you feel like you'd be a great face historian, let us know in the comments of this somewhere that's a great idea or email that email address what is it what's your email address Andrew uh ericsboss

at gmail.com I think that's fine that's not it I thought it was like bits at face pod dot com oh yeah that sounds right you can tell you know you can tell he checks it all the time. I haven't checked it recently.

It's ericsboss at gmail, or jack.patillo at roosterteeth.com. Do not send it. First off, Andrew gave you the wrong email address. I don't know who jacksboss at gmail.com is, but they're going to get fucked. But the one he's talking about is a So Alright email. That's a different podcast.

Although it would be awesome if everybody who listens to face listen to the so all right podcast thanks for the free plug andrew you're welcome really appreciate that of course it's a great so hey we're in uh we're in 2024 we're just getting our dicks wet into the new year uh gavin's already uh fucking got one over on andrew andrew's salty about the the controllers we got the the year of of nick's monkey mask to look forward to what else what else is 2024 gonna gonna i have a an idea for 2024 that i'm gonna do i'm gonna float by you guys because i think it's funny i'm excited about it you know how like new year's resolutions people are always talking about like oh i'm gonna get like way healthier this year.

I'm going to work out. I'm going to do like all these like significant life changes. Like that's always a big thing. And then you just drop off because it's like those are those are tough things to maintain. And you're just deciding randomly that you're now going to completely shift your schedule. I want to do that. But on the smallest scale I could think of of i want to get really jacked hands in 2024 specifically hands okay i want to do grip strength you know how they have like those hand

weights i only want to do hand weights for all of 2024 and have super jacked hands by the end of the year. So how do we do it? Do we have to test your grip somehow? Like measure the PSI? There is like grip. You can measure your grip. There are things that you can like squeeze and it'll tell you your grip strength. I just like the idea of like having really tight handshakes as like I train for this. This is what I did this year. My hands got jacked this year.

And then you can represent uniform and face for all like networking and just be our handshake guy yeah so I bought a set of grip strengtheners that I'm gonna start using in 2024 they're just on Amazon I look

at Jeff posted like it was like a YouTube video on how to test your grip strength if you don't have it sounds like you've got some stuff so I do, yes. So I'm floating that out

there as a f*** face resolution with you guys. Getting jacked hands in 2024. Now, do you think if you accomplish that, you'll be able to hold the sticks on the controller? I might break the controller if I hit my goals. I might squeeze too hard. You should jack

your hands up enough. I wonder if there's might squeeze too hard you should jack your hands up enough I wonder if there's like finger steroids where you could just get so fucking jacked that you could like just fucking crush a controller in your hand just like twist it and

break it that would be cool that would be cool maybe like an evolution like I have some watermelons like do a Gallagher thing but with my hands if possible do you think you could rip a phone book?

I feel like that requires more than just hand squeeze strength. Yeah, it's going to require a time machine to go back and find a phone book. Have you thought about becoming the giant forearm guy? There's a giant forearm guy? Oh, have you not seen this guy?

No. Oh, dude. Yeah, massive hands and forearms. Check that out. out looks like Wreck-It Ralph yeah he looks like a Pixar character has he done that to himself or was he born that way did that to himself did he do that I don't I don't know how it works it is why is it's he he's broken his finger there yeah uh check out check out what it is when he, this is so cool, when he arm wrestles someone else. Oh my God. Look at that.

Jesus. He's like a character sketch for the Charger came to real life. Like if he was human. It looks like someone arm wrestling a beehive juggler. I gotta be honest, this is making me question my idea of getting jacked hands in 2024. I don't like this. Yeah. Well, just something to think about. You could be this guy.

I don't want to be that guy. He's got his own thing. We'll just do it on one hand then. That might be the move. Like in that M. Night Shyamalan movie. Which M. Night Shyamalan movie? The one where the lady was in the pool or whatever. It wasn't like one dude who had a fucking jacked ass arm.

Did he? Is that a subplot of that movie? I think so a weird film paul giamatti was in it i believe he was a doctor he was right yeah yeah next to the lady in the water that's what it's called yeah absolutely i didn't see that one what a strange thing okay well maybe one hand it seems like i'm alone on this this pursuit and these images are not oh were you looking for us to do it with you that's what i was saying i was pitching it for us that do it with you? That's what I was saying. I was pitching it for us that I planned on doing this and I was offering it to you. I'll do it with you. Yeah, send me a link

to whatever you bought and I'll do it. Fuck it. Why not, dude? I'll do it. What else am I going to do? We should maybe do grip strength start of the year, grip strength end of the year. That's a great idea. That's a great idea. Okay. measure it. That's a great idea. I just need to buy the same equipment you have

so we have parity and then we can measure. Get the Eric card. The Gracie card? Yeah, that's fine. Go for it. Well, we don't need to worry about the melting pot. So, yeah, what's the latest on the melting pot? No update on the melting pot. I'm still getting emails even though I've been

removed, but I got invited to watch a seminar about how great it is the other day oh my didn't watch they have seminars yeah i missed it unfortunately i really can't believe this whole there's a whole department of melting pot just in charge of cooling people who want one like how many people are currently inquiring about having a melting pot i mean it's probably a one-person job you just think it's that one guy i think it's just that one dude or it's like a job it's not even a job right it's just like whoever picks up the phone in at the office that day has to deal with it it's just like a responsibility they all share because how often how often can i honestly how often how many how many melting pots are there first of all that's a great question how many are

there uh 91 franchises. It looks like. Oh, that's less than I would have guessed. As of July 2023, in the United States and Canada, there are 91 melting pots. Wow. So you got to figure that

even taking into consideration a couple of Andrews out there, at max, they've had 150 calls over the last however many years, right? It can't be enough to justify a department or a person. What if we get into franchising? We have other people do face.

Like localized faces for different markets. Like if you want to be the Slovenian face. Face for your town. Yeah, like the Bismarck face. Boise face. That's interesting. I thought about when I was doing the fluke face stuff, having other languages do it for like international fluke face.

Andrew, do you want to handle all inquiries about foreign f*** face? No, I don't. I think since you are the most established foreigner, that should really be your department. I mean, you're equally foreign. I'd say you're more foreign than I am. I think you're definitely more foreign than I am. Because people are like, oh, Canada is just second America.

Nobody says England is second America. I think one of you doesn't live in their native country. Yeah, I was about to say one of you lives in America and has a green card and the other one doesn't. I'm not trying to side with Gavin too much this year, but how would you say he's got on this? He's the foreigner that

makes him more of a foreigner is the foreigner. Andrew is in his native land. How is Andrew a foreigner? Gavin's paying taxes. Congratulations. He's more American than Andrew is. I'm paying taxes taxes what do you mean you know i don't think you understand the concept of foreigner i'm just saying gavin can't be a

foreigner if he's a foreign he andrew is native to canada well yeah but we're talking about exactly this is he's canadian he's native to can. He's in Canada. He's been in Canada the whole time. But we're an American podcast, and the center of the podcast is America. Well, wait. Why are we an American podcast? Because it's in Deputy, Indiana. It's the center of the fucking podcast universe. Oh, that's fair.

We all agreed on that. No, that's fair. We're talking about the center of the fucking universe, and clearly the podcast happens in America. It's an American podcast. Gavin is more American than Andrew, so Gavin's less of a foreigner in this situation because he lives in the same fucking country that we produce it. So the guy born in North America is less American than the guy born in England. Maybe.

Is there a melting pot in Deputy, Indiana? There's nothing in Deputy, Indiana. You have no idea. We've been trying to get like there's no billboards i mean well no it's a barn right yeah yeah so we are trying to get something going on a barn in deputy indiana i've employed i've employed a much better producer uh than i am to get these things going and it is a um it is a process to try to figure out. Oh, boy. Do you think that this podcast is on the verge of being good?

But it just isn't. What do you mean? We can't get a billboard. We want a billboard. We can't get one. Well, it doesn't exist. We can get a billboard. We just can't get one in a place that doesn't have a billboard.

Maybe we should have narrowed it to the nearest billboard. Why do we pick someone without a freaking billboard? Because that's the math, dude. That's where it exists. We got to be honest with ourselves and with geography and with the audience. If the nearest billboard is six miles from that spot, wouldn't we want that? No. We need to be in the heart of deputy. no we need to be in the heart of deputy i think i mean the reality is if we we were informed that sometimes people rent the barn and paint signs on the barn and that's what they handle

as a billboard and deputy if we can't work that out then we're gonna do the next best thing which is to get the billboard eight miles away or ten miles away from deputy or whatever, because that's our only option. But we want to explore all the deputy options first, I think. I agree with Jeff completely. God, now I'm agreeing with Andrew. It gets... 2024 is

tumultuous. It is tumultuous. I agree with you, Gavin, 100%. Huh. I thought you agreed with Gavin. 100%. Huh. I thought you agreed with me. No, I agree with Gavin that we should have thought about that. Oh, the billboard. I see. Yes.

Yes. Absolutely. Okay. Got it. But then we would be live. Like all other things, it's the most difficult route, the most circuitous route to get to an endgame with this fucking show. So you have to see things through to the bitter

end this is the only way things happen the other day the other day when we recorded i was i suggested that i i rush out the edit of the beanhole 2 even though we've not put beans in it yet because uh we've sold the beanhole pens and i was like you know i could i could quickly edit that we could put it out and we could stick the the link to the pens in the description and then the video went up no link in the in the video description and then i said to in the could stick the link to the pens in the description. And then the video went up. No link in the video description. And then I said in the Slack, oh, can we put the thing in there?

And Eric went, ooh, good idea. Wasn't that the whole reason I stayed up late and bent over dickwits getting that video out? Yeah, I thought it was good thinking, man. I thought that was a great idea. The idea was already had

the week earlier. Yeah, exactly. It was a great idea. Yeah, it was good thinking.. The idea was already had the week earlier. Yeah, exactly. It was a great idea. Yeah, it was good thinking. I don't know. I'm not sure what you don't understand. I thought it was a great idea.

Good thinking. 100%. Smart. Almost good. It is good thinking, Gavin. It is. See, that's all I'm saying. It's good thinking.

I think we're all in agreement about that. Great job. Everybody thinks you think good. We all agree you think good. You know what I think maybe started my tumultuous 2024? The money? Well, no. It was before that.

I've done something that I've never felt more psychotic in my life than going through this process. When we're recording this, we are a mere two days away from the big cock awards happening the very exciting cock awards and uh jeff i don't know if you know this i didn't know this

but i'm fucked however you gave me a slight edge i did because i forgot to nominate you how did i give you an edge well that's that's what that's what i'm first of all forgot to nominate you. How did I give you an edge? Well, that's what I'm... First of all, did you nominate people and not nominate me for a cock award? No comment. Jesus Christ. That's awesome. Who does the nominating?

Who is Jeff? The nominations are private. I'm not supposed to talk about it. Do you still nominate? I mean, I'm consulted. I have the opportunity to... But who are you in charge of? I'm not in charge of anybody. It's not about being in charge. That's what I'm getting to, Gavin.

You don't have to be in charge. You can nominate somebody if you thought they did a great job, Gavin. I thought that this was all managers that were nominating people. I assume that it was all decided from upper level management. However, I got a terrifying email saying that

you have to you can nominate someone if you want which made me realize that if this is a voting situation i have zero chance at all however i did tilt the numbers somewhat because i both have my work email as well as johnny.caviar at roosterteeth.com. I got two sets of ballots that I could work with to boost. So Johnny could nominate you. So Johnny could nominate me. But then I wanted to. We have to convince the whole company to nominate Johnny Caviar. Well, it's too late.

It's a little late now. It's already locked in. I had to panic submit these. late it's already locked in i had to panic uh submit these so i submitted myself as both me and johnny caviar for every single award there's like there's a bunch of them there's 12 i wrote these as johnny caviar i realized though that i have several aliases on this show and you can nominate up to three people so as johnny caviar i nominated johnny caviar raymond somer and andrew pantin for every single award and you have to write you're gonna lose because of this now you like fucked over whoever's like making these final selections and they're gonna go he just kept nominating himself under different names you're gonna split

your own vote that's absolutely a hundred percent well i viewed these all as votes for me so this is it tells you what the award is and then you have to write in a little reason why and there's so many of them i didn't go too in depth on most of them but uh fearless spirit yeah that's one of the awards johnny cat Johnny Cav... here's what he wrote. Nominating number one Andrew Patton. Your reason? He's an honorable man. Fearless Spirit. Your second nominee. Johnny Caviar.

Your reason? It's important to recognize yourself. Third nominee Raymond Sommar. Reason? A wonderful spirit. Wonderful spirit that Raymond Sommar. He's gonna lose. He's gonna lose. He's gonna lose. Great energy. He's gonna lose. He's gonna lose.

Next one. Unrivaled passion. Definitely me. These categories. Passion personified. You can't top the enthusiasm of caviar. Raymond Sommar, his enthusiasm for content inspired me as Johnny Caviar. So you're Johnny Caviar in that?

This is me submitting as Johnny Caviar, yes. Okay. Third category, we got inclusive community. Andrew Panton, he maintained the communal roots even after being hired. Johnny Caviar, he has become a known name in our community. Raymond Sommar, found a unique way to engage and interact with our community I think all these should count as a me vote

even though they're under different names well you should have made them all you votes well I did I mean Jeff's right just dominate yourself three times genuinely us and Japan a truly original soul raymond somer you couldn't come up with them if you tried johnny caviar the most authentic person i have ever met which is

weird because it is supposed to be johnny caviar that's like a third person inclusion. It sounds like a review on the back of a DVD. It does. Well, there's so many different categories. Insatiable creativity. Andrew Pan. From showrunning face to Let's Play, he contributes constantly. Raymond Somer. Some of his creative decisions, of his creative decision decision making

have made ripples that struck the audience to the core is Johnny Caviar yeah I keep wondering when he will peak yet all he does is hit new heights I felt like a total psychopath writing all of this and I had to write so many of them

uh uh seven check yourself the so many of them oh my god you got seven check yourself the award Andrew Patton he's an honorable man who has never not followed through with a declaration

Raymond Samir holds himself accountable Johnny Caviar the best of who we are truly salt of the earth okay I'm just gonna post these four so I don't have to keep Johnny Caviar, the best of who we are, truly salt of the earth. Okay. I'm just going to post these four so I don't have to keep. I wanted you to win until this. Now I don't.

Okay. So now we got Rule Together. Andrew Pitt, his collaborations even here are undeniable. I'm fucking three categories, everything. Johnny Caviar. I worked alongside Andrew every step of the way. Rule three. Rule together number three.

Raymond Sumer. When working with Raymond and Andrew, I felt unified in whatever we did. Because I'm the same. It's all the same person. That's why. Spark creative genius. Andrew Pan.

Working with him, I felt i was around a genius raymond somer one of the best creative minds i've ever seen johnny caviar no matter the project he elevates it embrace change his ability adrian pant and his ability to change direction to support when needed is masterful

he operates with the intentionality and elegance of a sewing machine raymond someric you could argue that raymond embraced more change than most but never wavered from his core character johnny caviar maintains the balance of what's right and i believe last late generate joy andrew pantin he's the best johnny caviar love myself Raymond so mayor makes any rumor scenario a joy to be a part of so I am I'm as nominated as I can be they are going to look at these and go who wrote this oh okay okay great cool so Eric did

you nominate people for categories such as check yourself? I did. Huh. Did you, Gavin? No. Gavin wasn't aware that we could nominate. I also wasn't until I got this email. Shocked. Nick, did you nominate people? No. Nick didn't nominate.

Jeff, did you nominate him? Of course. Were there any nominations from Jeff or Eric for me Johnny Caviar or Raymond Sumitra I can't say that no it looks like you got these covered man like it really looks like you got yourself covered here so it should be fine yeah you got it

the deepest of betrayals it doesn't look like you need us at all the deepest of betrayals a very stable man who definitely has this all worked out. Yeah. No, it's unhinged. The people who vote on the Academy Awards don't hang out on a podcast before the Academy Awards and talk about who they voted for. I can't do that.

I think that's exactly what they do. Their categories are slightly more specific, like best director, not unwavering spirit or whatever no these are rule together classic i would know if i won the rule together award that i was telling my family i don't know what they would think about that well i don't think you're gonna win any of these so i wouldn't worry about it it's not a conversation you're gonna have to have yeah i didn't i didn't nominate you i'm sorry gavin man you don't think i help rule together i think i generate joy i think you spark creative genius i think you rule together i think you generate joy

you definitely embrace change you do you exemplify all of it but you know. I don't know what's a bigger betrayal. You two not nominating me, or Nick just not nominating anybody. I didn't say I didn't nominate you. I said I can't talk about it. Yeah. You didn't. I don't know why you agreed, Nick. You already said you didn't nominate me. No, I said no, wink.

Did you think you have a camera on yeah you hear me winking and make picking the monkey mask a lot easier if you did if you consider that yes I do hear that I had no chance the cock died as soon as I saw

it was a vote system so it's over but I at least you started the year with a dead cock yeah it was a vote system. So it's over. But I at least, I wanted to submit. You started the year with a dead cock? Yeah, it's a good, you know, maybe in 2024 it could be reborn. Like a Phoenix cock.

Oh! Yes. I, uh... Also, Andrew, we don't know. We won't know for a couple days if you won or not. Oh, but we know. I didn't.

I didn't win. The cock dream is dead. It died on the table. It died on the ballot. for a couple days if you won or not like oh but we know i didn't i didn't win it's like the cock dream is dead it's died on the table it died on the ballot if you're gonna think like that then you don't have a shot you gotta put with my no into the universe if we viewed this as like an election my my cock award dreams are like the third party candidate my ballots are the one percent if that of the submission i'm out no it's. This would be like if it was ranked choice voting, and you voted for everybody on the ballot equally somehow. You really split your vote. But it may pan out.

You never know. It'd be funny if Johnny Caviar won an award. It would be hilarious if Johnny Caviar won, and I did. Did you do any internal campaigning? Hilarious if Johnny Caviar won and I did you do any internal campaigning? I Tweeted at roosterteeth. I'd be willing to bribe them to win the award, but they never got back to me Yeah, so the answer to your question is no Well, okay to be fair the way my slack account is designed I can only interact with people that I'm in slacks with so I literally can't message people

Beyond you guys. why didn't you start like a leaflet or like a pamphlet campaign i did consider making my own award and sending it to all of management but the budget and other considerations i i couldn't fit it in something to think think about for yeah maybe 2024 just really up the bribery side yeah maybe like create like a little flyer or something you can hand out around november or so to all the employees to be like hey don't forget about andrew kind of like a like when like when you're running for school president maybe put a poster with some glitter up and a picture of you and put it up in the hallway that kind of thing okay i'll take notes notes. The best way to learn a language? Immersion. Living where the language is spoken and using it

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go to HelloFresh.com slash facefree and use code facefree for free breakfast for life which is one breakfast item per box while subscription is active that's free breakfast for life at hellofresh.com slash facefree with code facefree i don't think i could ever win in a campaign system to be honest i don't think i've you won survive block island yeah dude oh well yeah but that was because of of other people's choices what what's this this is gonna also be other people's choices no but i'm saying i don't think any of the other candidates are going to be evaluated negatively based on what they did winning survive block island doesn't necessarily mean the best it just means coming across less poorly than the other people you're with.

So you're saying I really helped you out. Yes, you did. Although fucking Jack, Jack is the only one who voted for you. And you put a sign up that said you're next on his fucking thing. Didn't they cut that out? I don't know if they cut that out or not. But if not, Jack, now, you you know Gavin's the one that wrote the sign and put it in your house that you're next.

Oh, man. He voted for Gavin anyway. Hey, can I change the subject to tell you guys about something weird that happened to me last night? I'd love to hear what happened. Okay. I had like a... Well, let me start off by saying I'm an atheist. I don't know if

it's painfully clear or not but i'm i'm an atheist and i have been for a very long time uh not like aggressively so or anything but you know that's where i am in life and uh i've been searching for a little bit of guidance lately i've got some i just got some stuff in uh in the background that i need to figure out and um i've got some decisions to make and i've just i just need a little clarity and i need a little i need a little mentorship or direction right now uh with some next year's cock awards yeah next year's awards uh next year's cock awards or beak awards whatever the fuck they are uh no just some other stuff uh you know not stuff i obviously want to talk about on the podcast or i

would but i also have mentioned in the past, I think I told you guys about how I pray sometimes even though I don't believe in God. I just feel like it's good to put that out in the universe.

And I think I told you I realized I was praying to Alexa on accident because I say Alexa so much. So I was laying in bed last night trying to fall asleep thinking about

these issues that I need to solve or figure out or that I could use some clarity on. i thought i should put this out into the universe who knows you know and so laying in bed last night i prayed and uh for for guidance just for a little bit of guidance and uh you know i don't expect god to uh i don't believe he exists but if he did i wouldn't expect him to be like here's the answer or anything but i feel like it's good to put that energy out.

You know, it's just like even if it just like subconsciously gets your mind thinking in a different way about it. And so I put I put the call out for some guidance and then I went to sleep. Then I woke up this morning in a way that I haven't woken up in a very long time. The last time I woke up this way was in the old house when I would have ghost type stuff. I woke up like dead asleep to 100% awake in one second. I don't know guys if

that ever happens to you guys. It happens so rarely to me and it's only usually like a loud clang or something and you're like, I'm up. But I had that and I woke up and I looked around and I was 100% awake. And I thought, that's weird. And then I went back to sleep. And then I didn't know what time it was or anything.

I just was 100% awake. And I laid down and I tried to go back to sleep. And as I was laying in my bed, trying to go back to sleep, having no idea what time it was or anything, I didn't grab my phone or anything, my phone started playing the Howard Stern Show on maximum volume on the SiriusXM app. My phone is plugged in and charging on the other side, like on my nightstand. I grabbed it real fast because I didn't want to wake Emily up

and I thought it was my alarm at first, you know? And I was like, oh, I must have woken up right before my alarm. I grabbed my phone and I hit stop and I look at it and it's 313 in the morning. I didn't have the XM app open on my phone. I wasn't listening to Howard Stern yesterday. I actually was listening to politics all day. politics all day. So somehow in the middle of the night, my phone just opened up the SiriusXM app, opened up the Howard Stern channel and started playing it. And I also had my phone lowered because I don't need that much sound to wake up to. I can wake up to, I can, like, I'm a light sleeper. I can hear anything. And so I had it low. It maxed my volume up and turned the Howard Stern show on and started blaring it at 3.13 in the morning and I take that as a sign. I just don't know of

what. Because how does that happen? How does your phone start playing an app when it's asleep and docked? And sleep mode was on. I have it set up so that at 11.15 it goes into sleep mode. I would assume that the Sirius app updated and potentially just relaunched

has that ever happened to you i'm just i thought this was lean to you telling me that tom cruise woke you up and you're a scientologist now no no i just don't understand i just don't understand what made my phone turn on the serious app and then start playing a different channel than I was playing last. Like the last time I played it, I was listening to Dan Averill. But what was playing? Howard Stern. Yeah, but what?

I don't know. Howard and Robin were talking and I didn't listen to it long enough. I was scared it was going to wake Emily up. You fucking idiot. And so I stopped it. I love you, Jeff. You pray for a sign, right right and you think it's ridiculous

and then this unexplainable thing happens and you get a message delivered and you immediately turn the message off and pay no attention i don't know what was being played i paid a ton of attention in the moment i just i had to turn it off i don't want to wake emily up like she has a 12 hour day today the last thing i want to do that's like dude the dude the amount of work you go through not to wake your partner up every night of your life sticking shampoo bottles up your ass and laying backwards on broken chairs you completely understand where I'm coming from here I get it but if you're asking for a message and a message begins my instinct isn't oh that's weird turn it off I don't think the message was whatever howard and robin were

saying i think the message was that why would the message be serious xm playing howard stern and not what was being said on the show i mean i gotta i gotta figure that out but i i think it was more of a nod to it makes sense a little bit in my head without getting too into the weeds i just think it's weird and very unexplained and gavin you you may have something there but when does an app update and then change channels to a different radio station and then start playing that radio station yeah i don't know it might have just been like a resume thing like sometimes but if it would resumed it would have resumed the julie mason show on potus that's the last thing i heard before i closed the app

like i don't know why it would open and then switch from POTUS to a different channel to Howard 100 when it was on one 25 or whatever. Like it makes no fucking sense. And I know I didn't do it because I was already awake laying in bed, trying to figure out why I was awake. I've had a thing where I left headphones paired and, uh, they eventually ran out of batteries and then it just,

instead of pausing just started playing stuff loud through my phone do you have airpods my airpods were plugged in uh and charging i plugged them and charged them before yeah it's certainly odd and i can't explain it and it sounds like whatever it was had meaning to you which is great i mean i don't i think it does i just i just it's, it's a little nebulous and it's going to take some time to work out. And, you know, I think signs are often not like super clear. You know, they kind of point you in a direction

and you got to figure stuff out. I just, in all seriousness, I just, I'm a little, I wouldn't say creeped out by it, but it was fucking weird. Do you have a way of going back to that exact moment in the show and listening more clearly clearly to the words uh no but it was yesterday's show what i did do is when i woke up i listened to all of today's show immediately the first thing i did was turn on howard stern and start listening to it and i listened to the entirety of today's show and i didn't first thing I did was turn on Howard Stern and start listening to it. And I listened to the entirety

of today's show and I didn't glean anything other from... Listening to the show made me think like it might not have been what was being said. It might have been the show.

In like the 25 or so years you've been listening to that show, have you ever called in? To the Howard Stern show? Yeah. No. Never.

Maybe it's time. Maybe... What would I say? I don't have anything to say. I just think it's weird. Just ask him if he has a message for you. Just ask Howard if he has a message for you. Yeah, maybe I'll try that.

Just say you slept through the sign and you need to hear it again. Like it was, it was so weird to go from dead asleep to a hundred percent awake instantly. Yeah. And then to be laying there in my bed and thinking, why am I awake right now? What's happened? Is it time to get up? Cause i wake up usually before my alarm like a minute or two before my alarm and then i go okay my alarm will go off in a second and before i even had the wherewithal to because i have a clock on the other side of the room to look up and see if i could see what time it was howard stern just started blasting and it's just like it's even on a wireless charger

like it wasn't like even physically plugged in anything it's just a, it's even on a wireless charger. Like it wasn't like even physically plugged in anything. It's just asleep in sleep mode on a wireless charger. And why would it start playing? And the volume change. Like it volume was max volume. And I set it to like 20% before I went to bed. Like I do every night. I remember doing it. It's just like something did that, dude.

It was fucking weird. And it was, it didn't creep me out, but it startled me. And it's got the hairs in the back of my neck standing up a little bit because i can't think of a rational the closest rational solution would be the air the airpods but it's definitely not that because they were in their case and yeah i have no idea i do just as a concept think it's hilarious the idea of asking for a message and then you receiving the

message just being like why the fuck is this playing no i was just so shocked i wasn't thinking about the message at three in the morning i was trying to figure out why i'm awake and then i was shocked by that and then i was trying to turn it off so it didn't disrupt my my poor wife who's got to you know work 11 hours 12 hours today and uh needs as much sleep as she can get and so i was in the moment i was just trying trying, I was in crisis. I was trying to, you know, keep her asleep. And then laying in bed, I thought, was that my message? And then I thought to myself,

like, that doesn't make any sense. And I was, you know, it was 3 in the morning, I was tired. I just went back to sleep and figured I'd deal with it today. But maybe I was supposed to listen to that particular moment on the Howard Stern show, but I think it was more that, hey, pay attention. I mean... It's for you to interpret.

It's for me to interpret, and there's something to interpret there. I felt bad for Emily today when she had an entire business full of staff and customers, and then I was just screaming at the top of my lungs from the tiny room in the back. Yeah, I felt a little bad too, but she was sweet about it.

I don't think she would have let us do it if it would damage things, you know? She's pretty serious about her career and her company and her business and everything, so I don't think she would have done it if she thought it would have in any way negatively impacted her salon. Do you think you'll listen to yesterday's show again? The Howard Stern show?

Yeah. Yeah, I probably will. I probably will. It's worth listening to. i i do think that the message was that it was wake up and pay attention you know there well it's it's too caught it's i i can't go into it's too personal to go into but you know i'm just having i'm just having some stuff to figure out about my career and and other stuff and just my life in general i'm at i'm almost 50 and i gotta i got some stuff to figure out and so you found it relevant i found it extremely relevant i just don't exactly i just haven't had time i also then i woke up and i started getting ready and doing work and getting millie ready for school

and stuff and then i listened in the background uh and then i had to go get my asshole waxed and then immediately record two episodes of the show so i haven't had a lot of time to really sit down and and not a lot of reflection time reflect on what it means but it was like it was just fucking i don't want to say paranormal but it was just fucking weird like i don't know what something did that to my phone something made that happen something woke me up in the way that it woke me up because it woke me up 15 seconds before that happened like how does that make sense yeah so i feel like the the noise that wakes you up is rarely the noise you hear yes so something probably fell like did your airpods fall and fly open or something gavin my airpods were in the kitchen plugged into a little like device that has all my different

stuff plugged into it the only thing in my bedroom like that is just my phone on its wireless charging emily's got her phone on the other side on her wireless charging and that's it like do you think maybe emily farted on your phone do i think emily got up from the other side of bed walked around to my side of the bed farted on my phone then walked back got into i just try to think of the noise that could have woken you up before that started i don't i don't i didn't hear a noise i just woke up usually when you hear a noise and you wake up you hear a noise i didn't hear anything i just i never hear the noise that actually wakes me up i feel like i do something shocks you awake and you're like what was that i didn't feel the aftermath i just i just woke up and i're like, what was that? I didn't feel what was that. I just woke up and I was like, why am I awake?

If you're going to wake up anyone, Emily's probably the worst person to wake up because she has that very involved routine to get into sleep position. Yeah, she's got like a seven point system to get into bed. You can't fuck with that. No, absolutely not. And I sort of, I had a realization,

this is my last christmas in my 20s and i've somehow i feel transitioned to older older person excitement where like i've themed the entirety of like any christmas thing i'm getting or if i'm gonna spend money on myself as a gift to enhance my sleep because i just enjoy being really cozy and bed and relaxing. And so I texted Emily because I was like, I have a few ideas of how I can improve it. And I remember you mentioning Jeff for extensive routine. I texted asking, like, so what what is like the process or like I'm going through this? Is there anything in your routine that you think significantly contributes?

And she sent me this massive detailed list of like every step and i realized how far away i am from truly having a peak sleep game i need to work on mine and i'm i'm inching closer to that reality but i i realized like that is like an old man thing and then i got really excited looking at shower heads of like how i can improve the shower head i have and just the possibility of like i don't really like the one that i have it it's uh kind of sucks i could use you a tub guy there i am but just like if i'm gonna have a shower because the tub is for relaxation if it's like you're getting clean you want to shower as as looking at shower heads and like what the best reviewed ones were and just getting excited about the optimization of the

shower which is like i i wondered when that happened when i transitioned to be a person that would care or be excited about shower efficiency it's it's a weird process to go through what's your current sleep routine andrew like it's time for bed i got the fan oh my god i'm doing do you want to talk about psychotic moves you know how i was listening to what you know how did you you know i was listening to the rain as like a way to fall asleep i have yeah i have a new sound i have a new thing i've fallen asleep piss No worse I would say Because Jeff's got you covered I would argue it would be weirder than Jeff's piss I have been because it's on Netflix

I have been falling asleep It was just a failed fart I wasn't recording the piss part We should see if Andrew can fall asleep to it though I mean I'd be willing to try Because it's better than what I have been doing I've been falling asleep To the hateful eight

every single day for the past two weeks what the fuck I know because it's it's in the snow and this is how I think my brain works it's very cozy they're in a cabin I like when I'm warm and cozy

I like the idea of it being cold outside because I'm all comfortable and I don't have to deal with that. That brings me relaxation. So I've been playing the hateful late and then falling to sleep every night. And I haven't made it to the cabin. I fall asleep on the way in the wagon. Typically around the time Walton Goggins shows up, I crash. And that has been and it's the weirdest thing there's no

reason for it to be i find the opening music to the movie relaxing even though it's supposed to be very foreboding i don't i can't fully explain it but it works one goggins doesn't he's not he doesn't have the sleepy vibe to me whenever i see him on screen no but it's great russell and samuel jackson have like very calming voices, I would say. I've been trying to figure out what exactly has caused this. It started as like, oh, I haven't watched The Hateful Eight in a long time.

I should maybe revisit that. And then I fell asleep. And now it's become a thing I've done the past two weeks. I don't make it that far to the movie. Eric just posted a photo of Walt Goggins holding the gun looking very alarmed. I don't get that far. He just gotic just posted a photo of walt gog is holding the gun looking very alarmed i don't get that he's got his asshole waxed yeah he does but that has been that has

been my weird sleep thing so if you if you want to send me piss i'll take it because i'm not thrilled about this and i assume eventually it will come off netflix but at the current moment i've been falling asleep to the hateful eight does it work it does it works great that's why i keep doing it but i've listened the samuel jackson try to get onto a wagon like 14 times and it is getting repetitive but i keep falling asleep is this play on a phone or do you have a tv in there i put headphones into my phone and i just fall asleep with my headphones on and i pretend they're earmuffs wired Wired or AirPods? Wired. Okay. That's so uncomfortable. I can't wake up with it wrapped around your neck.

It does, the cord does go across the neck which is inconvenient but that's just how these headphones are set up. Do you move a lot in your sleep Gavin? Uh yeah, constantly. Well there's always a cat standing on me too. I sleep like Dracula. I sleep like Dracula. I sleep straight like a pencil with my arms folded on top of my chest. Now, that would be an interesting time lapse. If we all put a camera facing down and we just film a night's sleep, see who moves the most. So, Jeff, when your phone went off across the room,

you had to, like, you sat up and went, and, like, had to unfold your arms as they were crossed over your chest or what? I think so yeah probably I mean it wasn't across the room I could reach the phone from my bed so I didn't have to get out of bed if I'd had to get out of bed if I had to get out of bed to get the phone I probably would have just walked into the other room to figure out what the

fuck was going on it was the fact that like instinctively I could just reach over and grab my phone and turn it off that you know I'm still with Andrew I think you probably should have gone in the other room to figure out what was going on I mean maybe I don't know I don't know what's everybody's sleep routine

Gavin what is your go to bed routine I have an iPad that's by my bed it's like an old it's like a 2012 iPad and I have headphones coming out of it it was like a 2012 iPad, and I have headphones coming out of it. It was like a headband with headphones inside it, and I cut the headphones out, and I stick those in the pillowcase.

So I just align my ear with one of the speakers, and I just listen to stuff and fall asleep. What do you listen to? Just random YouTube, wherever YouTube takes me. That's bizarre. What about you eric uh i lay down and close my eyes and then it is the next day pay so much for that ability that's kind of my routine too like if i could do that without just thinking endlessly for two hours i would would definitely do that. I used to have that problem and then no longer have that problem and just go to, I just close my eyes and then I open my eyes and it is tomorrow. I don't dream. Are you just like really relaxed about your life?

No, I think I just used to be. I think that I, what I thought was stress and anxiety. I thought that I had found the ceiling and then i really found the ceiling and then i went i'm not even close to needing to worry about this and so after that i just felt a lot better and uh now i sleep i just my wife has a whole routine also to like go to bed like emily it's all like there are many steps it is very involved i help her when she you know when it's time for her to go to bed when it is time for me to go to bed i get into the bed i pull the covers on top of me i close my eyes and then roughly eight hours later i open my eyes and it is time to wake up i that's as generally how i do it too

i floss and brush my teeth it's great put my phone down on the charger and then get into the Dracula position. And sometimes I'll kick my feet out if it's too hot, but usually I don't. And then I just lay down and then I say like whatever little prayer or whatever, you know, affirmation thing it is. And then I immediately go to sleep.

I quitting drinking. I, I, I had insomnia Dracula position and you do a prayer. What are you like? You really glossed over that. What happened? Well, I get in a Dracula position and you do a prayer? What? You like, you really glossed over that. What happened? Well, I get in the Dracula position,

I get ready, and then I just do like whatever nightly prayer people say or whatever. I usually say like, you know, just like, like I did last night.

You know, you put something out in the universe like, you're the shittiest atheist in the world, by the way. Maybe. I mean,

I'm not praying to God. I'm just praying, like just put it out in the universe. Just out into the energy, you know? I don't expect, like I said, I don't expect an God. I'm just praying. Like, just put it out in the universe. Just out into the energy, you know? I don't expect, like I said, I don't expect an answer. It's just more like, this is important to me.

This is something I'm thinking about. I should, if I verbalize it in my head, at least while I'm sleeping, it's rattling around. And then the universe tries to give you an answer and you go, ah, I don't want to wake up, Emily. No, I got the answer. The answer was the Howard Stern show. I just don't exactly know what it means,

but I'm working on it. I think that's healthy because you're you're uh you're kind of like summing up each night it's like a little bit of self-therapy it's like journaling yeah it's kind of like journaling it's like the thing that's nagging or bothering me or that i have hopes or fears for whatever you just kind of like put it out there and i don't think there's anything wrong with it i sorry i i think it's i think's great. I just think it was weird that you glossed over it. That's all. When I feel sleepy, I feel like I have to... I get a second wind so quickly.

Like, if I don't take note of the sleepiness, and if I don't act within, like, eight minutes, I'm wide awake again. And if I'm like, oh, I'm sleepy, look behind on the pillow, I'll immediately start thinking about, crap, give myself second wind, and then I'm just up.

So I have to distract myself with other content i'm glad no yeah i could i'm gonna i'm gonna send something i haven't shared this with you guys when i was constructing this is ridiculous i know it's ridiculous but i genuinely tried to wrap this into my sleep plans when i was doing the rain thing every night because I have a fan and so I feel like I'm in the storm with the fan and I was looking at different things that are on Halloween and Spirit Halloween sold

a life-size version of the Mars Attack alien and you could fill his blaster with water and it shoots mist out and I was considering setting that up next to the bed so i could get mist in the face it's like a humidifier from moss exactly but i couldn't find i was trying to find something that would sprit me spritz me in the

face occasionally and i couldn't and that was the best solution I had uncovered how would that not wake you up every time it happened I don't I don't think you I don't know I think I would find it relaxing you know how this could work Gavin wants to watch you sleep anyway what if Gavin once I've tucked you in I could be in charge of spritzing he shoots the spray bottle every once in a while he sprays you every once in a while whatever he thinks you need I think if it was on the face, it would wake me up, but if it was on top of my head, I don't think it would.

It would just feel nice. Some mist coming down. I feel like the tiniest piece of movement or noise, I'm awake. That's not how it works. Once I'm sleeping, I am out, but it's just getting comfy into sleep is the process.

I used to have the worst fucking insomnia. And it used to play. It's part of why I started drinking so heavily was to drink myself to sleep. And I was so worried about getting sober that I'd never sleep again. Turns out the alcohol was the problem the whole time. I've never slept better than when I got sober. And it's never been a problem since I quit drinking. Never been a problem since I quit drinking.

It's so wild. Can we try, Andrew, can I try tucking you in this year? Absolutely. I'd love that. Welcome anytime. Come over, tuck me in. When works for you? Any night. I'm sleeping in the same place. I will say maybe wait a little bit. I bought myself my big Christmas treat, bought myself

a new bed, new sheets. We're taking the sleep game very seriously. And how has that affected the pillow game? I've added five more pillows. So you have 13 pillows? 13?

Yeah. We're going to have a lot. The mountain grows. Are they all behind your head? Or are you building like a fort at this point? Well, they start behind the bed, and then the bed kind of gets pushed out from the wall because the pillows leverage it.

And so I just need to keep putting pillows in the hole, and the bed keeps sliding further out. So we're going to extend that process with these five additional pillows. I want to bring Gracie up to speed on a lot of previous F*** Face, because Gracie joined pretty recently. And, for example, didn't know about the shampoo bottle that got lodged in your arsehole. Has Gracie listened to the Best of F*** Face compilation? Oh, God. I don't think so.

Oh, no. Okay, I'll get you a link. Oh, God. You don't need to. Based on everyone's reaction, I'm really scared. Yeah. It's short. I'll get you a link you don't you don't need to you don't have to based on everyone's reaction I'm really scared yeah

it's short I'll say that you know it's not too long okay I don't know that it's gonna answer any of those questions but it's the best of us so it is like it's

no it'll give me more questions if anything yeah probably ones that I don't want answers to he wasn't like just like shoving shampoo bottles up his ass

for fun or anything. It was a purpose. He got himself into a situation and then he grabbed on, unintentionally shoved it up his ass, but then he had to hold that position because he didn't want to wake his partner up. It was a whole thing.

It was a consideration move, is what it was. Okay. I just searched best of face. I can't even find it. Where is that? Did we not pull that out? I will say, we definitely did. even find it. Where is that? Did we not pull that out? I will say,

we definitely did. Absolutely released it. Maybe it's audio only, I don't know. Are you on YouTube? Yeah. Oh, I don't know then. That sounds like a problem. Oh, you have to type the asterisks. God, I'll show this. Oh yeah, yeah, you just have to, I literally

type Best of F*** Face and it's right there. Can we put... Okay, yeah, yeah. I think we need to I literally type best of face and it's right there. Can we put, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I think we need to improve the tags. We can work. I think we need to improve the name of the podcast, but I guess, you know, we're just kind of like throwing ideas.

Is 2020 the year we changed the name or 2024? Yeah. 2024 is the year we changed the name for sure. A hundred percent on that. I've gone around and around on that so many fucking times over the last how long we've done this three years god damn we should we should wrap this one up i'm excited for 2024 uh so my before we wrap up i just want to say one more thing i want to you know 2023 great year 2024 year of shattering my dreams of 2023 i don't know if you guys

remember remember when i i'd had the alan wake 2 moment where i was just going and i got i got the code entered it in yeah it's like a one in ten thousand chance and i had no idea how it happened or like how any of that worked they just on tuesday just like or yesterday i guess monday uh released the new game plus version of alan wake 2 and so i i loaded it back up and i've been playing through it and i thought i'm gonna really investigate and try to figure out where the code is and how this happened and so i looked at the computer and uh the code is on the fucking screen. It's in the bottom left on a sticky note, which I didn't notice until last night, which now makes me think I must have subconsciously seen it

and put it in, completely ruining the coolest luck moment I've ever had. Wait, is that in the original clip that you sent us? I don't know. I haven't gone back and looked at the clip. It's just on the original clip that you sent us. I don't know. I haven't gone back and looked at the clip. I feel like we would have noticed we all didn't notice that. That's insane. Yeah, we didn't notice it. Then you shouldn't have been expected to, but I didn't

and I felt so stupid when I was like, oh, it's on. It's literally facing me. I'm seeing it without seeing it. And that's not like it was patched me i'm i'm seeing it without seeing it and that's not like it was patched in i don't think it was let me i can quickly find the clip go back to your old clip um but that was crushing because i don't think i've ever had a cooler thing happen to me in a game and then to realize oh no okay so I'm looking at the clip right now uh

no it doesn't I think I think when you go to click in to type in the code it might it might change because it's a lot darker the room it's like pitch black as opposed to that

maybe it's just like a different time. I went to the, I don't know, but you don't see it. The sticky note is not visible. Anyway, I just wanted to bring that up because I was crushed last night when I saw that when I'm a fucking idiot,

it was literally in front of my face. Oh, what a lovely start to 2024. A beautiful start to 2024. And next week, I'm going to have my ears extra open. Oh. Yeah. Don't worry.

He keeps not doing it and then, like, putting his hand over his mouth. What do you mean? Nick, honestly, are you bummed that you didn't realize this was the first one you could do again yeah oh my god all right well here's to a here's to a 2024 full of asshole waxing and name changes

and big sticks and all kinds of nonsense I guess we should probably wrap this up eh? eh? eh? should we?

I'm not wait yes I agree or no don't do it yeah cause I'll keep it fucking going forever

do you want me to retell this story about how I woke up at 3.13 in the morning I can do that we're good Yes, I agree. Or no, don't do it. Yeah. Because I'll keep it fucking going forever. Do you want me to retell this story about how I woke up at 3.13 in the morning? No. We're good. Cover that again? No, we're good? Universe trying to tell me something? I'll see you next time.

Hey, guys. Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Who looked at the pubes? We need standing desks. Andrew makes an apology. Andrew immediately deflects blame. Jeff finds nudity in the strangest of places. We've got puppies.

And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Your Face.