F**kface - High Stakes for Gavin // Who's Asking Who What? [144]
Episode Date: March 8, 2023Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Eric is thinking about being mad, AN EGG, Geoff's naming, ANMA, Geoff's Life Hack, food dice, haircuts, give me Yop Me Mama, bullied on fridays, 2023 is for movies,... Rollerball, Fast 9, Geoff Free, throwing a fruit the furthest, Wicked Smarts, premium magnet, and getting mall jobs. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to ffacebits@gmail.com. Download the public audio version https://link.chtbl.com/f--kface. Already a FIRST Member and need your Private RSS feed for this show? Go here: http://bit.ly/FIRSTRSS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast.
My name is Jeff Ramsey.
With me as always, Andrew Pantin, Gavin Free, Nick, and Eric, who is anticipating anger.
This is episode 144.
It sounds like Eric is pre-med.
He's pre-med. Yeah, he's pre-med.
I'm just going-
It's like pre-med, but with an A.
I'm just going in to our office day knowing what office day has been previously and what it was last time and i am
preparing myself i'm bracing and getting ready for what it's going to be why don't you just do it do
it live just do it on the night why would you want to get riled up do what live what are you talking
get mad so you're saying don't brace for it at all just let it hit
you well what's better being mad most of the time in preparation i'm not mad right now i'm thinking
about what i have to prepare for that is the most mad i've heard somebody declare this sucks
but i agree with you i agree i think you know if you it brace for being mad
it takes less out of you when you get there because you're
prepared for it i'm imagining eric leaving his house with a smile and getting behind the wheel
it just gets closer to the office just starts frowning now i want to give gavin top marks for
immediately deflecting this episode onto you eric because i think this is the highest stakes any
episode has ever been for gavin because if you have back-to-back weird guy performances, I think you're just a weird guy.
Like we talked about being late, how long it would take to get out of being in the I'm a late guy house.
Being in a weird guy house, I think it would take equally long to get out of.
So deflecting immediately to somebody else.
Great move.
I think you bringing it up really isn't helping there.
It's really like some pressure.
Well, I'm just stating the pressure that's
there. I'm letting you know.
Yeah.
But you have... You shot on my slate.
What do you mean? The slate was set...
I mean, the slate was so set
from the last one. I think you're the weird guy.
No, I just flubbed. That's not a weird
thing. People flub all the time.
I wouldn't even say that was the best
flub I've ever seen.
How about this? I was thinking about
our initials the other day, and
the five of us, if you take the first letter
from each of our first names,
it spells
Anne Egg.
Wait.
You were thinking about...
Andrew.
Andrew, it's not you.
Andrew.
Andrew, Nick, Eric, Jeff, and Jeff.
Jeff might be the weird guy in this one.
I was sitting around thinking about our initials.
Jeff, thank you so much.
You're welcome.
That's what I'm here for.
When you said an egg and you visualized an egg,
did you see anything specific, like a logo for it?
Did anything pop in your mind?
Anyone?
Because I had something pop in mind.
How did this not come up in our Dumpty face?
I don't know.
That's what I agree with.
We're the boys of Dumpty, literally, or an egg. And we that's what i agree with the boys of dump tea literally
are an egg and we're an egg yeah the boys are an egg maybe this is my weird thing i see an egg is
like the gap logo but it's an an egg like that but it says an egg that's just what i saw that's
what i envisioned that's not what i see if an was a store, it would look like the Gap logo in my head.
That was my vision.
I was curious if you have any brand affiliation.
So where did you get, first of all,
how did you get to our initials being set that way?
Were you just trying to figure out different possibilities?
Or how did that happen?
I think about that stuff all the time.
Okay.
That's like when I,
well, the way I came to it
is I was thinking about
uh trying to come up with a name for the podcast you and i recorded recently andrew the the this
is a lot of teasing for a thing that might not be heard by anybody it's not a big it's just like we
were recording like a sports fandom thing it was like a test i don't know if we'll release it or
not i'm sure we'll release it but we we need to put at least uh one full episode in uh before we'll we'll determine if it's
releasable or not yeah but i was just trying to come up with a name and that's like the first
thing i always do like i always love initials that like like jeff and and and gus and uh gavin
uh were always 3g i always thought that was kind of funny. Like coming up with like clever.
So it's like whenever I'm trying to think of a name for something,
one of the things I look at is like, what do our initials spell?
Like, well, how could I make something out of that?
Clever.
And so I was doing that and I thought I've never considered that for face.
What letters do I have?
And then I came up with an egg.
Hmm.
You think about names a lot and you've named stuff achievement hunter and face.
That's well, listen, I think about names a lot.
So I never come up teeth.
I had nothing to do with listen, listen, I had nothing to do with the name rooster teeth.
That's Bernie Burns.
I had nothing to do with the name Anma.
That's Gustavo Sorolla. I wanted
to call it Good Morning Gus, which is a great
podcast name. And I stand by
F*** Face as a phenomenal podcast name.
And I use Achievement Hunter as an example
of why I need to think more
about naming shit. So I don't
name anything else Achievement Hunter again.
So yes, I put a lot of thought in the
naming stuff because I don't want to be saddled
with a dipshit name like Achievement Hunter for the rest of my life. I put a lot of thought in the naming stuff because I don't want to be saddled with a dipshit name
like Achievement Hunter for the rest of my life.
I got a name for you for an alternate
instead of Good Morning Gus, Jeff.
If you would have went Good Evening Gus,
you would have got all your initials.
All three.
GG.
Yeah, that's true.
Perfect symmetry.
Unfortunately, it's a show about drinking coffee in the morning.
And Gus doesn't want his name in the title.
I'm saving Emma.
Did I tell you that?
No.
I feel like it's the one thing Rooster Teeth makes
that I would be a fan of if I didn't work here.
Like, that's the only thing the whole company makes
that you'd be a fan of?
Well, I mean, I'm involved in so much else of it.
No, that's true.
I'm talking about something that I don't touch.
Yeah, you have't have, you have
zero involvement in. Yeah.
That's kind of how I feel about, like, 30
Morbid Minutes. Yeah, right?
So, like, I listened to the first Anima when it
came out, and I was like, oh, this is my
shit. I can't wait to listen to this.
And one day I'm going to listen to all of it. I assume
when it's long over. Yeah,
that'll be, you know, that'll really help their metrics.
They're really sure.
Good friend. But I determined when it's long over. Yeah, that'll be, you know, that'll really help their metrics and really show them what they're doing.
That's a nice one.
Good friend.
But I determined during that,
Eric has the best job at Rusity.
If anyone who has to get pre-mad,
I feel like that's a tough case to make.
Yeah, Eric, how do you feel about that? I like my job.
I like producing stuff.
Yeah.
In order for me to do a podcast
with Jeff and Gus, I have to do two separate podcasts.
Do you want to be on Anima?
No, no, no.
I don't want to touch it.
I'm a fan of it.
Well, I mean, if there was an episode that was covering an era of time that I was involved in.
But otherwise, no.
That's kind of the whole show.
Yeah.
You would be appropriate for almost every episode
yeah that's yeah you'd really just slot in he sure loves anma he is the biggest anma guy i know
he supports it he loves it he does all of it i appreciate the one episode i think it's great
that i i appreciate the stuff it's the stuff that i started liking at the beginning, like 2003 when I joined the website.
And it's like that era still being made.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it's definitely, you get like a lot of stories that are on Mike.
And I do really think there are times where I think I have the job that people who love Rooster Teeth would love to have.
Because there are a lot of stories that you get off Mike that you're never going to get on Mike.
And you go, oh, man, yeah, that's, yeah, we'll hang on to that one don't ever say it it's pretty
good i gotta i gotta say eric i think the best the absolute best part of that other podcast uh i do
anma that you produce is the drive to the production and the drive back from the production
it's so fun the car rides are the best because that's when we tell you
the parts that we couldn't tell them in the podcast or you know reframe it yeah it's so good
it's it's a lot of fun it's like so and i get a free cup of coffee every monday so it's like same
that's really all i'm looking for it's great yeah i feel like if that job existed and that was the
only thing you did eric you would have the perfect job at Rooster Teeth.
I agree.
And it's like that for Face Jam a lot of the time, too.
Like driving to get the food and driving back.
And then, well, we don't really go anywhere or do anything.
And then when we do go somewhere, it's just a lot of questions about why isn't this set up?
And I don't know.
I didn't know it was supposed to be.
Where are we going to plug in this baseball launcher?
Yeah, it's a lot of that stuff.
And it's like, what is this for?
We're not getting anything out of this.
So you would say you really like Animal Cabin.
You would say you enjoy it.
You're saving it to use your own.
I would say, if anything, it's content made for me.
Okay.
Well, what's really interesting is that content not made for you apparently feet
feet content you don't plan on touching at all which is identical to the content that is made
for you so when are you actually interacting with content what are you enjoying it what are you are
you only watching and listening to things you kind of like what What's the line for you? Well, I feel like while working here,
I'm often just proofing stuff.
No, I don't mean here.
I mean in general,
because it sounds like the things
you really enjoy, you're saving.
Are there other shows you're saving?
Or is this it?
This is actually a good,
it was a weird approach,
but it's a good question.
Similarly to how I have yet to finish Schitt's Creek because I like
that it's still out there I still have half
of the last season to watch like when you guys were talking about
over the final like
norm stuff right yeah it's like you want
it to be out there but you don't necessarily want to listen to it yet
or watch it yeah I'm gonna say
this didn't go the way I want it I just wanted
to slam you again for the feet thing but it went
into a real sincere place
which is nice but but is not what
I wanted. I got my goalie gloves on this
episode, baby.
Hey,
if you
guys don't mind, I have a life hack
I'd like to share with you. Oh!
Please. This is definitely our hacking era.
I love it. Yeah. And Gavin,
I will say in full transparency,
I did run this by Gavin last night when we
were playing Call of Duty.
It is a...
I think he liked it.
I think it's a real life hack.
We'll see what you guys think about it.
And this is, to be fair, this isn't exactly my life hack.
It's kind of Emily's, but I definitely benefit from it.
So I don't know about you guys, but I get really bored of going to the grocery store.
Just like you just go to the same grocery store, you walk down the same aisles, you pick up the same shit,
and it just becomes very repetitious, very rote, very boring, very laissez-faire, right?
And we always lament that we're bored going grocery shopping
and they wish we could spice it up a little bit.
So Emily came up with this idea.
She found this app or website where you can,
it's like a randomizer,
and you can put in different stuff and randomize it.
So she has this big wheel
and it's got like 10 grocery stores from around town on it,
all over town.
Could be HEB, could be Central Market,
could be Whole Foods, could be Arlen's,
could be Fresh Plus, could be Randall's.
We got a lot of grocery stores.
And anytime we have to go grocery shopping, we now have to spin that wheel.
And whichever grocery store we land on, that's the grocery store we have to go shop at.
So if it's like across town like it was the other day, we have to drive all the way over to East 7th and Pleasant Valley to go to that HEB because that's where the
wheel landed. And that keeps it from being
repetitious or boring.
I think that's great. I don't think it's a life hack,
but I think that's a lot of fun. I love the idea.
It's a life hack to keep grocery stores from being
boring.
Add some randomness.
Hacks, I feel like, usually save time or money, right?
Is that what defines the hack?
Or increase joy or happiness. I don't think that's typically a measurement for a they feel like usually save time or money right is that what what defines the hack i think or
increase joy or happiness i don't think that's typically a measurement for a hack but i don't
know why it couldn't be i just i don't hmm i like it i want i don't want it to seem like i'm negative
on this i think that's a great idea i think that's so much fun that'd make it more exciting
it could be annoying it just is great in so many ways. But I don't think you're hacking necessarily.
I think you've just come up with a system
that is more enjoyable for doing a mundane task.
But it's not an alternate path around it.
You're still grocery shopping.
Yeah, but you're doing it in a different and new way
to make it more interesting and enjoyable.
Yeah, I just don't think it's a hack, personally.
But I love it.
Andrew, have you suggested any hacks
since your McDonald's thing?
No.
And I still think that my McDonald's thing,
which you destroyed,
is the closest thing to a hack we've had on this show.
I can't believe that I started the hack thing,
and I didn't know your complete incompetence
in knowing what a hack is.
It really would change the context
of that entire conversation
if I had the knowledge I know now,
which is not a life hack.
Don't write that down, Kevin.
Having knowledge that is,
we've covered that with the songs.
It's not, it's just good.
It's a good thing to have,
but it's not a hack.
So there you go.
That's my life hack.
Well, no, I have more questions about the life hack so there you go that's my that's my life hack well no it's i have more
questions about the life hack okay sure is it just grocery stores or is it also items i mean you
could apply it to anything we actually have it for valentine's day because we similarly when we
when we don't have anything at home to cook and we have to order food for dinner like i'll be honest
i'm sick of all food like nothing
ever sounds good i'll never get excited about anything and so when it's like seven o'clock at
night we realize we had nothing to eat and we're like what do you want you want chinese mexican
what do you pizza and we're always like i don't want any of it what do you want we just have to
fucking just like our like not even argue just like come up with something some kind of food
to fucking eat to pass the night
uh she bought me these dice that just have different kinds of food on it so now we just
roll the dice and whatever we land on that's what we eat last night we had mexican i that's fun too
i'd like to take this to the extreme planted on one of the things that you didn't want
yeah but i had to eat it because i had food dice. That's what it is.
I like the idea of like
you guys wanting butter
just to have in the house
or milk,
but you can't
because the wheel
hasn't landed on milk
in three weeks.
Landed on it yet, yeah.
Yeah.
I think that's fun.
Like you can only eat,
like maybe you get like,
maybe we do a competition
where we come up with
some sort of six-sided
or 12-sided die
and then you get like
four dice rolls
and then you have to eat
those four things for a week. Yeah. Maybe you get 10 dice rolls and you just have to make what you
can out of what you what you what you roll the ingredients you have yeah not like necessarily
that's interesting that's fun i don't think that's a hack but that's that's a great game
i think it'd be better with haircuts what you mean like you have a wheel of styles and you have to spin it and
no you just like just put on like 10 different barbershops that you've never been to and just
roll the dice oh you're talking why is that why is that better it's just higher stakes it's pretty
low stakes because a lot of grocery stores are pretty no this isn't a hack eric this is just a
way to make the game more i think it would be funnier if you had hairstyles on the board but you went to your regular
person
guess I'm getting a mullet
why doesn't every barbershop have a wheel of eight
haircuts
if I was
a barber I would offer
like a 25% discount
if people were willing to spin the wheel
I'd absolutely that'd be great time
that might be a great time.
That might be a hack almost.
That's getting in the hack territory.
Is that hack territory?
That's maybe hack territory.
I don't know.
But if you could force somebody to get a hairstyle they don't want in an attempt for a discount,
I think that's great.
I would say we should do this with the bingo balls,
but you would have the most normal haircut, Andrew, come out,
and I would have a mohawk on the side of my head
the problem would be
we cannot rely on my ability
to convey what the haircut is
unless it's like a mullet
I don't know how to describe getting my own
like taking it back to the first episode
that's why I always end up with a guy
I just say do what you usually do
because I don't know how to describe haircuts
do you have a picture of your hair
in its
form that you like the most
no
I don't
when the guy's done cutting your hair what do you want
to end up with
short but not like
super buzzed but like short
but not buzzed
but short keep going i don't i don't well that's
it that's the loop that's i don't know what else to say you don't know how to describe i have no
idea i'm so bad at it that's why i didn't get my haircut for like well i mean the pandemic also
didn't help but like once we went into lockdown i couldn't go to the retirement home it was like
two and a half three years before I got my...
It was the longest I've ever gone without a haircut.
And I like the guy I have now.
It's great.
But I haven't been back since I got it cut last year.
I'm coming up on like a year since I got my haircut.
So you're happy with what is currently on your head?
I need to get it cut.
But once again, it's the thing of I've only been to this person once.
It's been a year.
They're not going to remember.
I'm trying to remember what I said.
So that means you still got your own trim.
Didn't you trim your own hair recently or a few months ago?
Sometimes I would cut parts of it when it would just get too long.
It would be my face.
So you still have some of that?
I haven't done that in a while,
but I really do need to book an appointment to get it chopped down.
It was shorter than I would have wanted last time, but I kind of liked it.
So I don't even know how to
describe that at that point. I'm just completely
lost when it comes to hair.
Do you worry about where you get your
hair cut? Is that a concern for you?
Because if I went to a different place,
I'd have anxiety about it
because I'm bad at it, but generally speaking,
I don't think I'd care.
It's always comfort in having a person that you know.
I used to not get my hair cut
in America. I used to just wait
until I'd be back in England.
What?
There's some artistry to it,
and you develop a relationship with
your hairstylist. They understand your head and your hair
and what you like,
and they remember that from time to time. It's like, yeah i i can i can understand wanting to go to the same
person over and over again yeah i can't do it it's just when you travel across the world when
a flight is involved that's weird i'm not flying to get a haircut i'm just doing it while i'm there
just coincidentally just have i'm just gonna go in get my haircut while i'm here
type thing yeah i'd say for the first two years i lived in the US, I only got my haircut in England.
And then I just got bored and went to Supercuts next to the office.
Life hack.
Life hack, Supercuts.
Life hack, spend 15 bucks instead of 2,000.
cuts life hack spend 15 bucks instead of 2000 that is like traveling somewhere specifically for your haircut like getting on a flight that is extravagant yeah to be clear i never did that
no you didn't but okay like i like the idea of being being in a place where you feel comfortable
enough financially that you would take a flight to get your haircut but not financially comfortable
enough to pay for first class.
Like, you're at the back of the plane. You're in, like,
the discount seats. I would say
that level of wealth doesn't exist.
If you've got the money to
fly somewhere for a haircut, you have the money
to fly the hairdresser to you. That's true.
I agree.
Yeah. That's a fair line.
They're cutting your hair in
your kitchen or something.
Yeah, that works.
I'm jealous of you, Jeff, because Emily just cuts your hair, right, at this point?
Yes, I'm very fortunate that I live with a stylist.
It's super convenient, and I definitely feel very lucky and fortunate every day of my life.
Do you have something to unveil this episode, Gavin?
Are you still working towards whatever it is you're building?
Oh, I've worked on something over the last couple of days,
and I will be presenting it tomorrow.
Oh!
So it's not ready today.
Okay.
That's disappointing.
I have to wait tomorrow for it?
You want me to do it now?
Well, why would you save it for tomorrow?
Is there a reason why?
I don't know.
It's just always nice, I think,
sort of, what is it?
Office day, that I have something to show.
A little thing I can edit or...
Sure.
Is this the best of?
Or is the best of still in the works?
This is the best of.
The best of.
Okay.
It's pretty short.
I guess it's tomorrow.
Really?
Is it just noises I made?
I showed Jeff my list of
episodes and time codes
and Jeff could not figure out what was going on.
I have no clue.
Huh.
I guess enjoy people
that are listening to this at some point in the
future. Gavin's best
of face.
Don't get your hopes up do you guys have do you guys have
anything else on your list to talk about today
not really that I want
not not that I have
I always want to give everybody a chance to
check out their list before the episodes over
because you always forget and then you look and you're
like yeah wait a week I had
a childhood like memory kind of ruined I don't think it's that necessarily interesting but people of my age i
think gavin you might be a little bit too old do you ever see the yoplait give me yope in the
morning commercials there are these like iconic and people that are around my age grew up on these
yoplait commercials where it was give give me yo me mama and they would it
was just like it's just like people are freeze frame and it's like kids being like give me yo
my mama whoo yo mama like it's the whole thing about having yogurt in the morning and i was
watching i was doing like a youtube music trivia thing and they're like name this song and it was the give me yoke my mama song and I was like
what the fuck this is a real
song and I looked
into it it's a song about
like the apartheid
like it is a very serious song
that they they took and
covered for a yogurt commercial in
the morning like it is
they completely yeah
that's Eric just posted a yoke me mama link
it was always the fun goofy yogurt song but knowing that they just changed the lyrics to like
a very serious song to sell i throw my sandwich in the air sometimes yeah it's so bad it has
ruined it so i'm sorry for anybody else who else who grew up with that commercial and remembers it. And it's now ruined.
That's crazy.
Yeah, I was.
I don't.
It was insane that they did it.
I guess people were really mad at the artists at the time for giving up the rights for them to do that.
But then there's like six other iterations of people doing it.
There was a what was his name like Roy Miller or something.
There was a football club that like their slogan became give me hope.
And then like a guy's name in the same like tune.
Odd, but just ruined.
It ruined a childhood.
It was like a top tier commercial for me growing up.
You'd see it all the time.
Dead.
What is your favorite flavor of yogurt?
Not a yogurt guy.
Same, dude.
I fucking I don't like vanilla.
Not a fan. what a boring answer
oh jesus i mean it's true i like i mean vanilla is not exciting you well yeah but a criticism
going with what eric wrote like you hate yogurt but you like yogurt commercials because i'm a kid
like it's a fun like you just we'd see it all the time it was like a jingle that would get stuck in
your head did you have a bad yogurt experience no i never really touched yogurt i because yeah
i just i was not like typically allowed to have it i had yogurt i desired i had yogurt in kindergarten
and i didn't like it and the teacher made me eat it anyway and then so i had to eat it and then we
were painting and i started to feel sick and i threw up on the girl i haven't
i haven't eaten yogurt since kindergarten you haven't eaten yogurt since kindergarten and it
was yo play yeah oh it's yo play fuck yogurt fuck that fucking teacher and i'm i feel so bad for the
little girl i threw up on i used to get uh little yogurts in my packed lunch at school and i would
have froobs which is like i guess like uk equivalent to a go-go or something it's like
in a tube and you squeeze it out brooms builder yog was my favorite brand growing up
but there was this guy who i would always eat near and he'd see me on my froobs sucking down
the the yogurt and he'd always just on my froobs sucking down the yogurt
and he'd always just squeeze the tube
like while I was
and it would go all over my face
and my shirt
and I always
he did it so many times
I'd be like
to the point where I'd try
and like eat it around the corner
before he could see
and we eventually negotiated
that I would only be
bullied on Fridays
he wasn't allowed to do it
Monday to Thursday.
You got fruit bullied?
Yeah, I got fruit.
He actually ended up being
one of my really good friends.
Was it Dan?
No, no, no.
Eventually he'd be like,
come on, it's Friday.
You know what?
Come on.
And I'd be like,
and I'd just relax my hand and he'd just blast it.
And depending on how much I'd opened the end of the tube,
like, if it was a really fine slit,
it would come out so forcefully.
It would, like, shoot all up me and, like, go in my eyes.
And I'd just, for some reason, be totally fine with it
because it's on a Friday, and I'd have to accept it on a Friday.
Nick, could you please isolate Gavin saying he would catch me sucking down my tubes
I just want my boobs. I heard tubes. It's like tubes scavenger sucking away at his tubes I like the way I negotiate my way up it being every day oh my god
oh I got a new text
alert noise now this is great
every
my ringtones is gonna be sucking
down my tubes even though it's frubes
sounds like tubes
frubes everything is so much more
fun that little guy looks panicked he is not happy he does on the frube logo it's easy he's got
thumbs up but it's a there's a panic look on his face where he's like please don't suck me scalped
yeah oh please don't eat my brain
uh uh i just those for the shit i just want to circle back the uh yo play song give me yope uh
is uh based on the song give me uh give me hope johanna which is yeah thank you about johannesburg
in uh south africa and it's by ed Eddie Grant, the guy who sang Electric Avenue.
Really?
I didn't know that.
It's the Electric Avenue guy.
They can't use Electric Avenue?
That's what I'm saying.
They picked the wrong
Eddie Grant song for their
yogurt commercial.
You gotta
walk down two and suck
down all your twos.
Like it kind of works.
The fact that I just came up
with that.
There's something
there.
That's it.
That's the last of my notes.
Man, I got so many still i got like a hundred what you got uh oh here's one i've been you know you guys know uh do you guys know about how i uh
i've been watching movies yeah yeah i've started movies again i've been watching
well i mean 2022 it was music right yeah i was really i'm still really into music but i've been watching well i mean 2022 it was music right yeah i was really i'm still really
into music but i've decided that 2023 i'm gonna i'm gonna watch movies again okay i haven't seen
any movies in a few years okay so i got me thinking if i'm gonna watch all these movies
maybe it would benefit people if i did like a movie review okay of like the different movies
that i see to let people know about the movie.
I was gonna see
what you guys thought about that.
I think it'd be newer movies, right?
I just watched this movie
on Hulu the other day.
And I could talk about it if you'd like. It was called
Gone in the Night.
Are you familiar with this movie? No.
Do you know about this movie? No. It's a relatively
new movie. It stars Dermot familiar with Darned in the Night. Do you know about this movie? No. It's a relatively new movie.
It stars Dermot Mulroney and Winona Ryder.
Okay.
Famous actor and actress.
You've seen them in a lot of stuff.
Most recently, Dermot Mulroney was in a ton of stuff,
but he was really good in Where the Day Takes You.
I don't know if you remember that movie. It was about Will Smith was in a wheelchair in that one.
Ricky Lake was in it as well.
Winona Ryder, she was
in a lot of stuff. Really
good in Mermaids, but was most recently
also in
that movie with the
Sad Kids. What's it called?
And then they go upside down.
Oh, the Stranger Things? Stranger Things, yeah.
Yeah, those kids. Sad Kids.
This movie came out
I think in like last year,
this year, last year.
And I saw it.
Okay.
And it's about some mystery
and some intrigue
and some things
that may or may not be happening.
And, you know,
I think there's some things about it
that some people might like.
But then also,
you may not like it.
So I don't know.
But I did see it.
And so I think that there are some people that might like it. Probably some people that wouldn't like it. So I don't know, but I want, but I did see it. And so, uh, I think that there are some people that might like it,
probably some people that wouldn't like it.
So just take that into consideration.
If you,
if you're going to see that movie,
there's a good chance you may or may not like it.
Yeah.
That's my review.
Okay.
I,
I just looked up Dermot Mulrooney.
Uh,
he's not who I thought it was.
I had somebody else completely in mind.
Who's the,
uh,
American horror story season one guy.
It was the dad in that show. What else he in i feel like he's like dermot i think he also has a name like dermot is he no
but he's very they're very similar it's like the same dude dermot moroni was in the gray
and he i remember him from that that's my point of reference for him but i don't remember
who am i thinking of? You're thinking of
what is that guy's name? I know because I was going to
recommend a movie that he was in, but I don't remember
his name. Oh, maybe Dylan
McDermott. Dylan McDermott.
And what was who did you say?
Dermot Mulroney. Okay.
It feels it's essentially the same
and they're probably the same age too. Probably.
Anyway, so I figured that I'd
give that a shot. That was my movie review. I want to give away too much of the plot for the next review
there's some intrigue uh there's going to be some people that are going to be on
i would assume the side of winona rider probably some people that'd be on the side of dermot
maroney uh you may you may feel one way or the other or end up somewhere in the middle
uh anyway gone in the night it was I believe it was on Hulu.
If you're looking for a movie,
I can't recommend that you'd like it, but you might.
Maybe not. Anyway,
next time I watch a movie, I'll let you guys know.
Maybe I'll do another review.
You grab the DVD.
You might like this, but you might not.
I don't know. Maybe.
Opinions are...
Everybody has a different taste.
That would be the best to see on a
box, just a review.
Jeff's face review, like they source
it. Opinions may vary
as the text they pull.
Maybe it's just
the dictionary definition of opinion.
That's my goal, is to get
one of my reviews listed on
a poster somewhere
Four point nine out of ten on IMDb. Yeah, it's probably about how where I so you're not wrong
That's like halfway right yeah about a half about probably some of the people liked it probably some of the people
Thanks place in California if that helps
I just watched rollable which one the James Ca khan one or the alakul j one
the james khan one okay how was it um i'd give it five okay five yep now if you
great stunts everything else dog shit that's sort of nice shots of buildings too
rollerball does not look nearly as i've never seen it i've only seen
like the dvd box art and their roller attire is not nearly as cool as i thought it would be
it's like american football meets lacrosse meets nascar meets roller derby uh when people getting
killed and blood splatter all over the place the art for it is so much cooler than what they did.
I would say, best font in a film.
You talking about the number?
Like the number six on his jersey?
It's a pretty fucking cool font.
Yeah, and that's the rollable text
that comes up at the beginning of the film
is in that font.
And everything, everywhere,
even though they fly to different countries,
that font has taken a...
I think the movie is about that font.
What is the movie about?
Is it just like...
Is it just an action movie?
Is there like, he needs to save his family
by winning the championship?
No, it's about corporations
have taken over the world
and he's, you know, a defiant individual.
Okay.
Oh, what's this?
Oh, yeah, here it is.
In a corporate-controlled future,
an ultra-violent sport known as rollerball...
Now, this is, by the way, to clear up any confusion,
this is the plot of Rollerball,
not the plot of Gone in the Dark or Gone in the Night,
which is the one I reviewed.
This is Gavin's review.
In a corporate-controlled future,
an ultra-violent sport known as rollerball
represents the world, and one of
its powerful athletes is out to defy those
who want him out of the game.
At some point in the film,
a bunch of people take a gun...
It's the story of Russell Westbrook.
A bunch of people take a gun and just start
blowing up trees, and I don't
really know why that scene is in there.
It doesn't really...
Huh.
Now, if you're going to pair...
You guys might have to watch it and tell me what that's about.
Now, let's say if you were, like, a film sommelier or an entertainment sommelier, Gavin,
what would you pair rollerball with?
Running man.
So you watch rollerball...
Running?
Really?
Okay.
Have you ever seen Ice Pirates?
I have.
I've seen Snow Pirates. I've never seen Snow Pirates. Or is it Ice Pirates? But Ice Pirates? I have. I've seen Snow Pirates.
Or is it Ice Pirates?
But Ice Pirates.
Is it not Snow Pirates? Is it Ice Pirates?
We're certainly thinking of the same thing.
Yeah, it is Ice Pirates.
You're right. I have seen that.
It's good.
They'd be similar in tone.
We're going into a different field.
Rollerball, I think, followed up with
Bill Lamberter's combat
basketball for the SNES is a
great one that's interesting
yeah I think we're in our
dystopian sports
era
I watched Fast and Furious 9 on Monday
is that the new one I hadn't seen it yeah the most recent
one I think Gavin and...
The one we saw in 40X.
Yeah.
What a shitty movie.
Those things suck.
I'm so sad.
They were so much fun.
They're just not fun anymore.
It's really like
all the things around Paul Walker
being dead but not dead
feel so awkward.
They really should have just like
either removed that
character entirely and never mentioned him again for after what they did but like the kind of half
step they take like it's one of the characters to live on they do but they don't like it so
the things they do in the movie makes sense with the context of knowing what happened in real life
but the idea imagine if you had a kid gavin and you named
your kid little jeff like that's just weird for like just a guy you're friends with that you still
theoretically hang out with like it's so strange i guess i don't know it's just like oh it's a
little bryant it's like that's weird like i get what you're doing because he's dead and it's like
an in memory of for him but not within the world that you've
set I've always wanted to name my kid
Jeff really yeah
because his name would be Jeff free I love it
Jeffrey free
Jeffrey free
because Gavin's last name
is free yeah yeah no it works
Jeffrey
I made that joke to Meg
once when we first started dating.
It was like when I was hanging out with her at SourceFed.
And I was like, yeah, I'm going to name a kid.
I'm going to get a kid and name it Jeffrey.
And she didn't get the joke.
It just looked to me like I was a weirdo.
I walked off.
And then I think Steve Zaragoza was like, Jeffrey?
I was like, yeah, because of my name.
And then he cracked up. And then Meg was like, Jeffrey? I was like, yeah, because of my name. And then he cracked up.
And then Meg was like, oh, I just thought you were really excited to tell me you wanted a kid called Jeffrey.
I guess I'll date you.
Is that it, Jeff?
That's your movie review?
I mean, I can dig deeper.
Can I get another one?
How often are you watching movies?
Then we can move on.
I just want to know so I can anticipate how often. I saw
Megan in the theaters.
You saw, yeah, we talked
about the M3. M3?
Yeah, I saw that. With the numbers? Yeah.
So I saw that and I saw Gone in the
Night and then
those are the movies.
I once,
I feel like my parents were very protective
when I was younger about which movies I watched.
They weren't protecting you on the fucking streets when you're getting bullied over your yogurt, but they watched the movies.
Jesus.
Yeah, they would always like read up on the film or like even watch it to make sure I could watch it.
And my mom was livid once because I was watching Rush Hour, but I watched it with the director's commentary on, and
at one point, I think Brett Ratner's
like, oh yeah, and that's the guy who
gives the blowjob in Boogie Nights.
And my mum was just in the room, and she was like
oh! I pulled the
DVD out. I was like, what are you watching?
Even though Rush Hour is a really
inoffensive film.
Is it?
I feel like Rush, no it doesn't, but i feel like there's like a crudeness at least i don't remember rush hour one as much
but rush hour two definitely has a lot of crudeness to it do you think bamboo is actually
the strongest wood that's the one thing that has always stuck with me from rush hour two i remember
watching it in theaters as a kid and there's a scene where jackie chan is like this is bamboo this is the strongest wood it won't break and i just have
cataloged that forever as a fact that's just a fact in my head strongest wood in the world is
australian buloke or buloke it's gonna be something that's sunbaked right 5060 ibf it's an ironwood
tree that is native to Australia.
The wood comes from a species of tree occurring
across most of eastern and southern Australia
known as the hardest wood in the world.
This particular type has a jank of hardness
of 5,060 IBF.
I don't know that unit of measurement.
That sounds like a lot of it.
Should we make a baseball bat out of it?
That'd be interesting.
I was thinking like fireplace wood
but i'm just imagining it going on a wood turning thing like a lathe and it just smashing all the
the lathe up wasn't bamboo grass anyway is it technically wood is bamboo grass isn't it i don't
know anything about bamboo eric says bamboo not even top 10 wow well i think that's because it it is
actually grass rather than wood so strongest grass strongest grass definitely i guess is that what
jackie chan says in the movie though it's not but like that's just a fact i guess i can tell you
bamboo matches not at all flammable that's what i was dealing with my fireplace video
do not go with the bamboo chop.
No, what were they?
What are they?
I'm blanking the word.
Matches?
No, not matches.
I said matches.
It wasn't matches.
Toothpick.
That's the word I was looking for.
Bamboo toothpicks.
Jesus Christ.
Speaking of fireplace, where's your eight-hour commentary?
I don't know.
Oh, I thought you were going to say, where's my Fireplace video?
I don't know where that is.
Wait, do you not put out your Fireplace video?
No, my Fireplace video is not out.
Oh, I thought we had released it on social.
I'll double-check back on that.
We did commentary on it, didn't we?
Yeah.
Maybe it's out on social, and I just didn't know.
No, maybe it's not.
I'll check.
We'll release it, because it is very good. Yeah, we didn't know. I just didn't realize it was on social. No, maybe it's not. I'll check. We'll release it because it is very good.
Yeah, we don't want the audience to miss that.
Hey, now we're commentary.
I'm going to do it next week.
You're doing it next week?
Are you really?
Next week, yeah.
It's on my schedule.
Oh, that's exciting.
I had a cold thing.
I was going to do it earlier,
but now it's at a point where I feel like I'll do it
and then we save it for next year, right?
Would it be weird to just release that now?
It's so removed.
I don't think it would.
I think it would be very us to do that.
The whole fucking thing sucks.
We can release it whenever we want to.
Now, were you pretty mad before going into that, Eric?
Or was that?
No, that was a side.
I got sideswiped because I didn't think we were going to talk about that thing.
I was so mad about it.
Stupid. I think it mad about it. Stupid.
I think it's a great video.
Eric and I came up with a new sport the other day.
Oh, yeah.
We were doing something for F*** Face.
Okay.
What fruit or produce, what produce do you think you could throw the furthest?
Oh, okay.
So you need something with some weight, but it also needs to... But not too heavy.
You don't want it to be too heavy.
You don't want it to be too big.
But you want it to be big enough
for you to get a good grip on it.
You need a good surface area.
Can I use the plant to, like, whip the fruit off?
Ooh.
Hang on.
Wait.
A plant to whip the...
Are you talking about, like, a slingshot
or, like, a high-ally situation?
Yeah, like, say the fruit grows on a vine, and I whip the vine and propel the fruit? Are you talking about like a slingshot or like a high-ally situation? Yeah, like say the fruit
grows on a vine and I whip the vine
and propel the fruit off the end of it.
I mean, what Gavin really wants to know
is can he goat kick the fruit?
Do goat kicks count for distance?
No, throw it. Just throw it? Okay.
You just...
An orange
comes to mind, but the issue with
an orange is it's two things in one like I
feel like the peel the cover of it would hinder my ability for distance what I don't think he would
if I peeled it I think it would disintegrate from the it would it would explode it would erupt um
disintegrate yeah I've never heard anyone say disintegrate before. Yeah, that is true. I was hoping that we'd step on.
You've heard me say disintegrate?
No, I've heard Andrew say it that way before.
Yeah, I just said it.
Yeah, I said it.
Huh.
That's interesting.
I think, yeah, I think an apple or a slicing tomato
or something that's almost like fist size.
You know, I guess disintegrate works
because to disintegrate is to die, right?
It's like an aggressive way of disintegrating.
Dysintegrating.
I guess so.
I like that.
It's fair.
I'll take this from you, Jeff.
Gavin, if you get in on this dog pile, if you put one foot in this dog pile, we're going
to Feet City, buddy.
We're going to Feet City, you weird freak.
We're going right back there.
I was going to say, if you put one foot in this toilet.
No.
Because you do that.
And I don't want that anywhere around me. I'm just saying. I'm letting you know. I'm letting Jeff. No. Because you do that. And I don't want that anywhere around me.
I'm just saying.
I'm letting you know.
I'm letting Jeff.
Jeff can kill me for that.
I'm okay with that.
That's fair.
He's earned that right.
I think Nick said apple.
I think an apple is actually not good.
I think an apple has the right size,
but it's not dense enough.
I also feel like an orange.
An orange, maybe a cutie.
Like you could really whip a little one.
Eric, you had a very strong opinion that I disagree with.
I think avocado is the best throwing fruit.
That's really good.
I think that's good.
I think a Haas avocado, avocado from Mexico,
not like the crazy Florida ones,
not like the giant Florida ones,
like a regular avocado,
I think you could probably throw that the furthest.
I think it's the right kind of grip. I think it has the right kind of density. I think it has a, like a regular avocado, I think you could probably throw that the furthest. I think it's the right kind of
grip. I think it has the right kind of density.
I think it has a center like a pit
like a baseball does.
I could throw a tomato
further than you could throw an avocado.
I do not agree with that
whatsoever.
Let's do it. There's no way.
Here's what I think we need to do
I think we need to get together
whether this is for the Olympics or something else
but I think we need to get together
with a tape measure
at a field
and everybody bring your fruit or vegetable
of choice
and then we see
we get down to brass tacks and we see
who can throw what the farthest.
I think that you can't be the one to select your...
I think we have to have an impartial person go to a store
and buy what you would call
bog-standard version of each of these items.
That's fine.
And then we would all get these things
and then see who could throw...
But it's kind of like a game of Halo,
where you pick your weapon and then you just see,
am I better with a shotgun than he is with an assault rifle?
Can you throw your avocado further than I can throw my orange
further than Gavin can throw his tomato further than Nick can throw his apple?
Yeah, but if I can throw a baseball farther than Gavin can throw a baseball,
then we're not on equal footing.
And it doesn't make sense.
I think what's good about it is that
you don't learn anything from this.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
You know, in that case, yeah, whatever.
I mean, that's a part of the decision-making process, right?
You pick your weapon.
You pick your poison.
If you wanted to,
could you eat your fruit to reshape it
into something that might be better for throwing?
Are you allowed to modify?
I think that's a disqualification.
Yeah, I agree.
I agree with everything about the avocado.
I think the texture on the outside of an avocado lends itself very well to being thrown.
I think the core, the solid core is great.
But it's an oblong, weird shape that's not aerodynamic.
Yeah, unless you spiral it like a rugby ball,
it's going to have air resistance.
See, that's the thing.
This is what I brought up to Jeff also,
that I think if you showed someone a football
and they'd never seen a football before,
I think they would go,
how do you, like, this is not aerodynamic.
And then you see it fly through the air
and you go, oh, never mind.
I was wrong.
I mean, can you throw an avocado like a football?
No, I'm using it as an example
of something that doesn't look like
it would be aerodynamic,
but however is.
But I'm saying,
isn't that how you would want to throw that?
You think you should throw an avocado
like a football?
I don't think he knows how to throw a football.
Can you spiral an avocado?
Who's asking who what?
I'm not really stating. I was just
stating to everyone. If he would
throw an avocado and
spiral it. Yeah, I was giving
commentary on it. I was saying no.
Who's asking who what? It's a fucking podcast. Like spiral it yeah as giving commentary on
All the air kids in this question, I think that's a grammatically correct
Can that be the name of the episode? Absolutely.
Have you ever thrown a football, Gavin?
No, I can't do that.
However they make them spiral, I don't know how to do that.
That's what I'm saying.
That was sort of my point.
I don't think you know how to throw a football.
In your head, that makes sense,
but you actually don't know what you're talking about
is what I was trying to say.
It sounds like we need to teach
Gavin how to throw a football at the same time
we're teaching Eric how to throw a frisbee.
Yeah. Wow. There's a lot of learning to be done.
We can swap skills because I can hurl a frisbee.
I think Eric
can too. I don't think it's the hurling part.
It's the accuracy. It's not
distance. My frisbee will go really far.
It'll just keep going. The wrong way, but just keep going.
Is it a different wrong way every time?
No, I mean, typically it's pretty much the same wrong way.
So maybe if I just turn.
I'm just going to spin.
Flip whatever you're trying to do.
I have a little 90 degree turn to my left and I'm off to the races.
I mean, people would be really thrown off when you landed
it in the place you wanted it'd be kind of
an oppressive trick
right that's what Happy Gilmore is all about right
sort of
yeah little run up
you eat pieces of shit for breakfast
Jeff that's a movie
yeah I've seen it.
Oh, speaking of breakfast,
I got this. Emily got me this for
Valentine's Day. Did you guys know
that my favorite basketball player, Marcus Smart,
has his own cereal called Wicked Smarts?
No. Isn't that cool?
Does it have a commercial?
I don't know. I just know I have two boxes of the
cereal, which got me thinking,
what if we had cereal someday?
What would I don't know I haven't opened it yet to eat it. I I'm well, so you don't know I will but
We'll call it an egg an egg
I'm not saying we should make our own cereal, but if we did what would a face cereal be oh?
To be like crunchy Ian's or something wouldn't it Crunchy Ian's
Ian's oh that's good
I don't but flavor wise
I think we should get into cereal and froobs
I would be really scared
To co-create a cereal with Gavin
Where he got any amount of
Flavor control over what we're dealing with
What do you mean
Salad cream cereal
Yeah I think you're going to put little
fucking diced onions in it or some
bullshit pickle
that nobody wants but you think everyone loves.
Gavin's like, here's
a new cereal line that did plowman-o's.
That would be a
terrible logo for plowman-o's.
Here's the thing with F*** Face though, is that we all vote
on it and it's two to one, so I'm not going to be able to sneak in any ingredient am i that's true i feel like it
would not be a vote and we'd all just have the ability to bring something to the table for it
no that'd be chaos we'd end up with freaking tots in there wouldn't we yeah this podcast isn't chaos
you're right that's great we're very organized did we ever decide on on that magnet or are we not talking about that in
the episode yet uh we can talk about it in sausage talk but we we were gonna get the the fridge
magnet made but it's too fucking expensive so we're gonna try to figure out how to make it
cheaper yeah we gotta figure out how to make it oh and then jeff started throwing out other ideas
for like secret other magnet it was just like we can't even get the one fucking thing made
eric shut my secret magnet idea down instantly and that, we can't even get the one fucking thing made. Eric shut my secret magnet idea down instantly.
And that's fine.
We couldn't even get the thing made
and you're already coming up with like
special one-offs for it.
And it's like,
we can't do this.
To be fair,
Eric was pretty mad on the regular magnet.
He was.
He was pretty, pretty mad.
Just anticipating it.
For the record,
I gave up immediately. As soon as Eric gave me a look and then he's like, are you fucking serious? And I was pretty, pretty mad. Just anticipating it. For the record, I gave up immediately.
As soon as Eric gave me a look, and then he's like,
are you fucking serious?
And I was like, okay, no, I'm not.
I don't want to make special magnets anymore.
Just the bog standard fridge magnet.
It's not even a bog standard magnet.
That's the thing about the magnet.
It's not a bog standard magnet.
It's true.
It's a pretty fantastic magnet.
It's an awesome magnet.
But we can't sell it for... Nobody on Earth is
going to buy a magnet for the price they want to
sell it for. No.
So we need to make...
Premium magnet. We need to make
probably 10,000
of them to get them at a price point
that would be humane to sell to other humans.
Look, we were able to successfully
premium up the bread clip.
I was going to say, and that's a magnet.
That's a fridge magnet.
That's a magnet.
So we're just iterating on that.
And that one turned out great.
No complaints about the bread clip that wouldn't bend.
This one definitely would work better than the bread clip.
Well then, instant improvement.
I'm excited for our office day.
I've been anticipating whatever the best of is.
Are you flying down for it or are you doing it remote?
I'm going to be doing it remote.
I'm flying down for it.
What does that mean?
I'll be remote for this one.
It was a good app.
I felt we were wrapping up.
Are we not wrapping up?
How long have we been doing this?
I guess we are now.
No, we can keep going.
I feel like I survived that one.
You did. You did. And I hate it. I hate that you did yeah but there's still time we should extend this do you have anything else on your list jeff that you'd like to talk about you know uh
dude i have so much stuff on the uh on the throws throw something see um have i ever talked to you
guys i know i've talked about this in another preview in another episode uh eric says to pick
one thing so i'll pick this thing.
Have I talked to you guys about my idea?
I can't remember if it's video game talk or anima talk or podcast talk,
so I never know.
But have I talked to you guys about my idea where we all get a job at the mall together?
I can't differentiate mall talks, to be honest.
We've talked about it in different times.
I don't know if we've talked about all getting a mall job.
The mall is and isn't back, depending on where you go, for sure.
But I have some mall stats, actually.
Did you guys know that there used to be 2,500 malls in America,
and now there's only about 600?
Really?
If you shot a bullet off one mall, how many malls would it go over?
Well, in Nanaimo, you would hit eight.
You hit all. You hit every mall.
Yeah, so the
mall is back. Everybody knows that. Except for the
Lakeland Mall. If that mall sucks, fuck the Lakeland Mall.
Don't go there. It's a waste of time.
Just go to Barton Springs Mall. But I was thinking
how much fun it would be if we all got
jobs. I could work at
the, I don't know, California
Pizza Kitchen, and Andrew could work at the sneaker store and Gavin could, he could be a bartender at the wine bar and Eric could work at Hot Topic.
And we just like meet up at lunch.
Nick could work at Claire's.
Yeah.
And then we all just hang out and we have like mall adventures together and we like play pranks on each other and on our breaks.
And we, we just live in the same mall and have like shitty mall jobs
and just experience that like mall rats but we all had mall jobs i i feel like this is just
face but in a mall can you imagine being a listener of face and you see jeff working
behind the counter and then you see the american company great would it be and then instantly like
all right i gotta find eric
he's working around it somewhere he's at fucking suncoast selling dvds
with the drop off of malls jeff are you worried that they're going to go extinct
in the near future no i think that what'll happen is that the malls that are left the like there
will be a lessening of malls clearly there has already been a significant lessening of malls.
I even read that it could... I think I said there's
600 left in America.
Some estimates say it could go down to as low
as 150.
But the malls that are left will be
solid, good malls. They're going to be great malls.
Only the best will survive.
Exactly. It's too much of a good thing, maybe.
And so we have to pare down to the
appropriate amount of malls
for the amount of people that need a mall in 2023.
Similar things are gonna be happening
to movie theaters in the next few years.
As the middle class of movies dies out,
like the mid-range movie dies out,
and movie theaters are existing only on blockbusters,
and this year there really aren't gonna be
any huge blockbusters that come out,
I think you're gonna see a lot of of movie theater it's funny they were just talking
about some of the bill simmons podcasts the other day but uh see a lot of uh i think a lot of movie
theaters and malls maybe will close but the ones that are left will be like higher end experiences
i would like that that's honestly like the biggest barrier i have to movie theaters now
is there's like zero care about the experience once you buy a ticket people talking and after you
go to an alamo draft house or an ipix or one of those kind of gold class cinemas uh i'm not just
trying to shell alamo but like there's a lot of different theaters that provide that experience
uh there's a there's a small chain called violet crown cinema that's really good that's in a couple
of states uh once you have that experience of like a high
end movie experience where you like you can sit in a reclining chair and eat a pizza and drink a
beer or a diet coke it changes it changes movies for you although alamo alamo's i think gone downhill
the people just stand in front of me now it used to be that the staff would just take the paper
piss off come back dump food while ducking and piss off now they're just like
strolling by like hey who ordered the sandwich and they'll just stand there really i haven't
had that problem you know i had that no they just sort of like mosey about in front of the screen
now i do the same thing whenever i go do a movie as well so i can't criticize that i like to just
walk into random theaters and say, who ordered this sandwich?
Who had the sandwich?
I mean, in fairness,
before they used to check what people ordered,
they would often give my food to other people
and I'd just have to watch them eat it
because they just pissed right off.
Like when Ray ate my pizza.
You're still upset about that.
That was my one thing, Eric uh so i don't know how
feasible that is but uh if you guys all want to get mall jobs with me at the same mall one day
i bet it would be a lot of fun for 30 to 45 days i think that's fine but we should all have i like
line of sight to at least one other person oh i totally agree like we should all be on the same
floor or close to each other except for for if one person ends up with a...
One person has to work downstairs
at the Old Navy,
we just make fun of them.
There's a hierarchy to the mall job.
Yeah, I think as long as one of us
can see one of the other us, it's fine.
I think that just seems like
it would be so much fun.
45 days?
Yeah, 30 to 45 days.
We'd get it out of our system,
and then we'd probably all quit.
And we could carpool?
Oh, we'd definitely carpool.
That'd be part of the experience.
Yeah.
It would have to be.
I think that'd be the best part.
Gotta carpool, yeah.
And then we could bitch about our coworkers,
and we could play pranks on them.
We could play pranks on each other.
I mean, we'd have so much fun.
You might be the only person writing mall fan fiction
in your head i think about it a lot that's so good just like the idea of us still making this
podcast but being like you wouldn't believe what happened while i was cleaning the fryers this week
i was trying to convince gavin for a while. I saw a convenience store for sale
not too far from where we lived
back when we lived together.
And I remember trying to convince you, Gavin,
that we should buy a convenience store
and then just run a convenience store.
And then just put webcam up in the convenience store
and that's the show.
It's just Gavin and I run a convenience store.
It's just like clerks the show.
I would love that.
Yeah, but we didn't do it.
Eric, get the credit
card. Eric, we buy a
convenience store.
Eric, will you be a reference for me
if I fill an application
into the mall? I gotta get
a job at Foot Locker first and then I can be
a reference for you. That's how I have
good standing within the mall.
Okay, that's cool.
Maybe he can put in a good word for me
at the finish line.
You got it.
Or lids.
I want to work at lids.
Oh.
No, I need to work at lids.
People just ask me,
how does this hat feel?
I don't fucking know.
I have no idea.
I can't wear a hat
if it's big enough
for this brain.
I'll work at Gap.
Why Gap?
Is that a throwback to what I said
with the logo? Is that the joke?
Yeah, okay.
What was that response
from that annoying response from Andrew?
Why Gap?
I was gonna say I wanna work at an egg, but I just said Gap.
That would have been funnier.
Yeah, alright, well, thanks for the feedback.
You're welcome.
I can't wait to become workers at a mall.
Here's why.
I don't wanna work in there, Andrew.
Let's have a few people between me and him.
Andrew, you have to work at Old Navy.
Oh, man.
You have to work downstairs.
Oh, man.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. here's why i don't want to work there andrew andrew you have to work at old navy oh man you have to work down oh am i that crotchety
did i come across that crotchety i'm an old navy guy now yeah oh man pants all day long
oh man oh my god i was oh honestly the pause gavin and then the annoyance is I couldn't remember what what it was.
An egg, an egg. Right. That was the I couldn't remember either.
I was my pause. Yeah, I was. That was that was like, what was the thing that Jeff said?
We should probably we should probably wrap up, Eric.
Eric is I think he's pretty mad that we haven't stopped yet.
I want one last thing. You guys know how when they start a podcast sometimes or a video like you watch on YouTube,
they'll clip a funny part from like halfway through, like a funny 45 seconds, and they'll
tap it.
They'll tag it onto the beginning to like promo that moment to get you excited about
watching it.
Uh-huh.
What if we did that for an episode of face, but we record it linearly.
So we have to start the episode and the middle of a funny story.
And then we just figure out a way to start and then tell that story.
30 minutes later in the broadcast.
You're a,
you're a maniac.
You're a fucking,
that is the craziest.
That's fucking crazy.
Like a good example for this episode.
I could have just said,
I want to work a Gap, right?
And then we have to find,
Andrew would have been annoyed,
and then we find out how to get there naturally.
It's exactly like-
I think that's an amazing idea.
Thank you.
It's exactly like when Gavin and I,
we, for mine,
when we worked at Achievement Hunter,
we had this weekly series in the video game Minecraft,
and we would make these elaborate Let's Plays
where we'd build these games in Minecraft.
And for the 100th episode of that series to celebrate,
we made this huge golden pyramid
and we made this scavenger hunt
for all the people in Achievement Hunter to compete in it.
And then the winner received these three items.
And then the three items were meant to help you
on episode 200.
And then we had no idea what episode 200 was,
but we just threw three random items in there
and said,
we'll figure it out in a year.
I don't think we ever did.
But it's kind of
that same principle, right?
Okay.
That reminds me of that series
I wanted to do
on Achievement Hunter
where we would...
Chill, Eric.
We would...
That...
No, that was dismissive.
Oh, wow.
That was some fucking gas energy, wow. Is that how I sound?
There was that worse.
Is that worse?
How did that compare to my gap?
Because that was brutal.
You know, Eric, you're right.
That's right.
That's what I'm saying.
We'll just keep going if we keep doing like this.
Anyway.
Let's talk about the story next week.
Thanks, Gavin.
I think it's a brilliant idea, too, and I think we should do it sometime in the near future
let's do it next episode
next episode
we're gonna start with the
we're gonna
we're gonna clip
the funniest moment
from the next episode
and we're gonna attack it
at the beginning of the episode
we just don't know what that is
so we'll have to invent it
in the moment
and then figure out
how to retrofit it
into the episode
20 minutes in
thank you for listening
to another episode
of the F*** Face Podcast
be on the lookout
for a lot of supplemental content coming
pretty soon. We're going to film the Golden
Gerbler video that's going to go in the
Golden Gerblers. We're pretty excited about
that. We got Sausage Talk coming up. We'll be
watching Condor Man sometime
in the nearish future. I got an idea
I want to pitch to you guys down the road about
another movie series we could do.
Got an idea about watching some live
sports with the audience we could talk about sometime
soon. In addition to a sports
podcast that Andrew and I are testing out that may
or may not see the light of day, please
give us 5 to 10 to 50
to 100 to 1,000
stars when you're rating
us. And please,
rate us.
I understand there's a Brit and a Canadian here, but this
is an American podcast, and Americans exist
to be rated. You know that, right?
So give us a good one, and we'll see
you next week. still a foot guy, VCK is represented well, Patton has the most toilet paper, and once again,
Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.