F**kface - Nick's Laugh Track // Stitches SZN [140]
Episode Date: February 8, 2023Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about is Gregging Nick wearing the monkey mask, Geoff's fridge and new sofa, Does It Do, Warzone, banana cleanser, dental SZN is over, Gavin's new life hack, Andrew's Gur...pler bath panic, a Warzone bathroom strategy, caffeine pill vs Zzzquil, and cake drunk. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to ffacebits@gmail.com Sponsored by Hello Fresh http://hellofresh.com/face65 and use code face65 Better Help http://betterhelp.com/face and DraftKings Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code REGULATION to bet $5 on Super Bowl 57 and get $200 IN FREE BETS INSTANTLY. Gambling Problem? Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (CO/IL/IN/LA/MD/MI/NJ/PA/TN/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (KS/NH), 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), visit OPGR.org (OR), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/KS/LA(select parishes)/MD/MI/NJ/NY/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. Void in OH/ONT. Eligibility restrictions apply.  $200 in Free Bets: Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 bet. Promo code req. $200 issued as free bets that expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded. Free bets must be wagered 1x and stake is not included in any returns or winnings. Super Boost: Valid 1 Odds Boost Token per customer after opt-in each day for eligible Super Bowl LVII prop markets only. Token must be used BEFORE placing eligible bet between 6-9PM ET daily. Odds boosts and prop markets will vary. Max bet limits apply. Tokens are non-cashable, non-refundable, and cannot be withdrawn. Boost Token expire daily at 9PM ET. There are no restrictions on the funds a customer will receive if their bet wins. If their bet loses, they will not receive any reward. Offer period valid 2/6/23 - 2/11/23. See terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com/footballterms. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast, number 140, season something edition something volume something my name is jeff
ramsey with me as always oh eric wants to ask a question uh eric you have a question in the chat
yeah yeah just real quick um alongside andrew pantin and gavin free uh we talked about having
nick like in the background for this stuff. Are we doing that or not?
Yeah, why not?
Sure.
Okay, but I mean, is he unmuting and laughing so you guys can hear him,
or is he just adding it into post later?
I don't know.
That's a laugh post.
Like a laugh track that he peppers in, whatever he feels like.
I feel like post is funnier.
So you don't hear it when you record.
Yeah, I see.
I see.
Right.
That's why I'm asking just for clarification, because I feel like we never landed on it.
We all just went.
That's a good idea.
Let's try it.
That's such an interesting question, because we could potentially have a joke that bombs.
And then in the episode, Nick's cracking up.
That's why I hope.
Nick said in the chat that he was also confused.
Okay.
So episode 140 is going to be the first episode to feature Nick laughing if and when it happens.
This could also be just a dog shit episode where Nick isn't tickled by anything.
We have no idea and none of us will know until we listen to the episode when you guys do.
idea and none of us will know until we listen to the episode when you guys do i also like the idea of this happening with us hearing without us hearing it because he could be wearing the monkey
mask and i feel like that's very laughing in the mask would be very obvious oh and the people
listening will be like he's in the mask and we'll have no idea i think either way he shouldn't be
near the bike it should sound like he's in the corner of the room now that we're talking about nick like he
isn't here when he very clearly is nick are you wearing the monkey mask today no i'm not wearing
the monkey mask today have you worn it yet not yet did we miss it okay okay so i'll make sure
so that's still going that's still going still alive we still got time that's mind-blowing that
jeff used up his guess on this one that's fine does he only get one i don't know i think to this i don't remember the i think it's more interesting Does he only get one? I just want to know.
Were there rules to this?
I don't remember the rules. I think it's more interesting
if we only get one guess
until everyone is guessed
and then we get
all the lights back.
I like that you come up
with this rule
after I guess.
What in the
motherfucking
heck, dude?
From now.
Oh, wow.
Gavin, no, Gavin,
I'm with you.
It doesn't make sense
because then we could
just say it every episode.
Yeah, there's going to be
some limit. Yeah. First of all, I agree with you. Second of make sense because then we could just say it every episode there would have to be a limit
first of all I agree with you second
of all you just absolutely Gregged it
you Gregged it when I went back
when I did the Jeopardy rules but didn't vocalize
if that's how it was in my head you can't just add rules
after they played you can't do that
I think Jeff gets one more
guess but going forward
you get one guess until
everybody guesses okay that's
fair uh nick wants to know nick very quietly in the chat wants to know when he has until uh do
you guys remember i don't remember i think maybe the rest of this year let's say by the end of this
year yeah okay calendar year all right it's pretty uh it's pretty open for january end of 2023 okay
got it that's now i know we had settled on something
before but now that's the official rule end of 2023 everybody gets one guest from this point on
realistically we're gonna forget this and i think this would be really funny if we remember in like
seven months and he did it four months prior like it's already over by the time we were always
there's just a bunch of really muffled laughs for one episode and we don't... That's what I want.
I'd love to have that.
I'm not suggesting...
Actually, I hope you don't do this,
but this would be
a really funny time
for you to put that mask on.
Because nobody's going to ask you
for the rest of the episode,
I guarantee you.
It has to start at the beginning.
I agree.
You can't do it in the middle.
Another rule.
Okay.
It's got to have it on
at the beginning of the show
from when I do the intro. Everybody gets one guess. Okay. It's got to have it on at the beginning of the show from when I do the intro.
Everybody gets one guess.
2023.
And if Nick sneaks it past us,
what does he win?
I don't remember.
Does he get anything?
Nick, what did you win?
I don't think we ever came up with it.
I don't think we did.
We'll give him a 100% chocolate.
I got a...
Oh, that's nice.
100% chocolate.
I have a giant pink porta potty I could give you. That's a great Oh, that's nice. 100% chocolate. I have a giant pink port-a-potty
I could give you.
That's a great gift.
You have to deliver it home yourself,
but you're more than welcome to it.
I will say,
and this is maybe leading into
the first topic of today
that I want to know about.
You got a fridge.
I did have the thought
the day that you were getting your fridge,
I should have sent you a fridge as well.
I missed out on a huge opportunity. I don't know if I would have went with the fridge as well. I missed out on a huge opportunity.
I don't know if I would have went with the tiniest fridge I could find or like a big cheap one.
Maybe.
I don't know.
But I had the thought.
Phenomenal.
I needed to send you.
I missed out.
That's a very funny idea.
I do indeed have a new fridge.
And it's funny you say that as well, because Aaronaron romero in in uh ecom was like he made a
joke he was like i guess we need a fridge magnet now that jeff's got a new fridge and i thought
what would a fridge magnet what would our fridge magnet be and i thought the funniest thing we
could do is make a fridge magnet of my fridge and i thought well that's probably been done
one million times so i googled it i my knowledge, there does not exist a fridge magnet of a fridge.
You can find one anywhere on the Internet.
So there has to be a whole picture, a hole in that market for their fridge or even just
a drawing of a fridge on a fridge.
It just doesn't exist.
You can't do it.
It's not out there.
Nick wants to see your fridge.
I don't have a picture of it.
Let me,
I thought,
well,
maybe I do,
Nick.
Well,
maybe I do.
Let me look.
Let me look.
All right.
He did an Instagram live yesterday where the fridge was heavily free
featured.
Oh,
did he?
Yes.
Here's what I can do.
I can send you guys.
I'm going to send you guys a picture there.
Okay.
Okay.
I got this.
All right.
Please don't be too powerful.
I got distracted with
I should have prepped this already. I got distracted with
other photos, I'll be honest with you.
So much has happened in my life in the last couple days I forgot about the fridge.
Here is
me in the fridge hole.
That's a big hole.
Yeah, I agree.
I agree.
It takes a very specific, very expensive fridge. Here's Whoa. That's a big hole. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Takes a very specific,
very expensive fridge.
Here's one.
Here's me.
This is better.
This is me flexing
in the fridge hole.
Oh, did you do
a little Sam Fisher in there
to prop yourself
between the walls?
No, I didn't think
to do that.
If I'd have tried that,
I would have knocked
both of those shelves out.
You would have gone
through the cupboards.
I'd have a fridge
and no shelves.
And here is a fully installed, fully functioning fridge.
I'll be honest.
Whenever you have a big problem in your life,
like the shelves going up, you know, or a fridge coming in,
it's always so funny.
And then I see the final result and it's just beautiful.
Look at that thing.
It's a beautiful fridge.
Yeah, I'm very lucky.
And I got to say, zero problems.
I was so ready for things to go so wrong. Look at that thing. It's a beautiful fridge. Yeah, I'm very lucky. And I got to say, zero problems.
I was so ready for things to go so wrong.
It looked like things were headed in a bad direction because when they pulled the fridge out
and they tried to tip it over,
the fridge was too tall for my kitchen.
Like they couldn't tip it over
because it was hitting the ceiling.
But they figured out they could take some parts off.
And then we had to like slide it into the living room,
which has a slightly taller ceiling. And then they were able to tip it there. That was the closest thing. And then we had to slide it into the living room, which has a slightly taller ceiling,
and then they were able to tip it there.
That was the closest thing to a problem we had.
In and out, probably took them an hour and a half.
Lovely dudes.
And the lights work in the freezer and the fridge part.
It has a water dispenser,
and it makes non-rusty ice.
It does everything you could ever hope a fridge can do.
So the dispenser's on the inside?
Yeah, it's on the inside, like on the side wall.enser's on the inside? Yeah, it's on the inside,
like on the side wall.
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
It actually,
there's a learning curve to it. You have to
remove your
cup in the right way or you will shoot
water across the fridge.
That just sounds fun. It's like a bonus.
That's a
ridiculously large, like it just looks sturdy. It's like a bonus. That's a ridiculously large,
like it just,
it looks sturdy.
It looks thick.
Like if,
like if Indiana Jones
would have climbed
into that fridge
when the nuke went off,
that would have felt believable.
That feels like,
if a tank shoots that fridge,
I don't think it does anything
to that fridge.
Dude,
it just looks stainless.
I could,
I could easily,
comfortably fit in that fridge.
It's so, it's so, even though it fits the exact same footprint
of the other fridge,
it's way, way, way roomier for some reason.
And the only way I could even think of improving this fridge
as I'm looking at it right now
is if it had a magnet of itself on it.
It's the front door magnetic.
I have no idea.
Probably not.
Because mine isn't.
I tried to put a magnet and it fell off.
My last one wasn't either.
I have a feeling that if we were to buy a fridge magnet of my fridge for my fridge,
it would never work.
Maybe you could come with an adhesive to stick your fridge magnet to the fridge.
Like fridge magnet tape.
What about a fridge magnet sticker?
Like a sticker of a fridge magnet?
Yeah. sticker like a sticker of a fridge magnet yeah you want people to stick a sticker on their
refrigerators well if the magnet doesn't work what are they gonna do you gotta provide alternate
solutions we're about solving problems here do you think there are more fridges that can't that
like you can't stick a magnet to or more fridges that you can stick a magnet to i think we just
give people the option.
We sell a fridge magnet and a fridge magnet sticker
depending on the magneticness of their door.
Maybe they just come together.
Yeah, it's a bundle deal.
It's a bundle.
Okay.
And it's a magnet or a sticker of Jeff's fridge?
I guess.
It seems to be where we're going.
I mean, it's a beautiful fridge.
I was kind of against it initially,
but that is a great looking fridge
Why were you against my fridge?
No I'm not against your fridge
I was against the idea of a fridge magnet that looked like a fridge
In my head it was funny but I didn't know it was great
But it's a beautiful looking fridge
You think it was like a 5 out of 10 idea?
I'm not saying it was a bad idea necessarily
I just didn't pop in my head immediately
Like some of the other things we've talked about before
But I'm on board.
Am I right in thinking
that this fridge is a month early?
Yeah, you are. You're supposed to be there in February.
You got it a month early. It's conspicuously
early.
Interesting, like I was
last week, I was sitting around the house
and I was kind of just like,
it just popped into my head and I thought, I'm about a month out
of getting that fridge. And I started getting nervous. I was like, you know, that just popped into my head and I thought, I'm about a month out of getting that fridge and I started getting nervous.
I was like,
you know,
that was a lot of money.
I haven't spoken to these people
in like 10 months.
Let me call them
and just make sure
there are no problems.
Like this is the moment
I'll find out that my fridge
fell off of a boat
in the ocean
or whatever, right?
And it's like,
yeah, you got a fridge
but it's at the bottom
of the Pacific Ocean
and we don't know
how to get it up
or whatever. And Harrison Ford's inside it. Yeah, you got a fridge but it's at the bottom of the pacific ocean and we don't know how to get it up uh or whatever and harrison ford's inside it yeah and harrison
ford's inside it um and so i called them and when i called the lady remembered me easily
like instantly she was like she was like oh i remember you yeah you bought the so-and-so fridge
and i was like yes ma'am i did she's a little older and she was like i was just thinking of
you and i was like oh i'm thinking of my fridge right now and she was like did i she was like i was just thinking of you and i was like oh i'm thinking of my fridge right now and she was like did i she's like i was gonna call you it just came in yesterday i was like are you
serious she was like i'm just i'm i was just sitting here thinking about letting you know
so i for all i know the fridge has been there for six months and they just didn't
i just weird saying you got a fridge early that you waited two years for
like that doesn't a year like i understand what you're saying no i guess i did wait two years for. A year. I understand what you're saying. I guess I did wait two years for it.
It felt endless, your wait for it.
For it to show up a month early doesn't feel like early.
It's wild
also that it was
such a big thing for so long and now
it's in and it works and I don't think about it.
I will say when I come home every
night, whenever I come
home, I say hi to the fridge because I don't have a dog
to say hi to anymore. But other than that, it's just part of life now. It's just home I say hi to the fridge because I don't have a dog to say hi to anymore but other than that it's just
like I just it's just like a just part of life now
it's just like I've always had this fridge
it was very sad but we just
yeah we just passed through
I was hit with sadness and it was
also like equally funny and it just cancelled
out to be like a
I really wanted to laugh
or did you just say what's up fridge I say hello fridge okay yeah I haven the fridge have a name? I don't really want it to laugh. Or did you just say, what's up, fridge?
I say hello, fridge. Okay.
Yeah, I haven't given it a name. That seems weird.
I mean...
Saying hello to it in replacement of
a dog. I mean, you're already in a weird territory.
As much money as I spend
on that fridge, I should
be able to say hello to it as much as I want to.
It should say hello back. Yeah, it should.
I need to know if you've put a new Cosmic Crispin,
because that's, I feel like,
the real test of differences between fridges.
Have you got a new one in there for a year from now?
I did, and I filmed a video of it.
Oh, you did?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I filmed a video.
I definitely, I put one in there that day.
I think I filmed a video doing it,
but I put the, but I have the apple in.
I can send you that.
No, not in a bag, right?
No, not in a bag, just out on its own uh i don't know if i took a photo of that or if i
just the video um yeah i don't seem to have a photo of it but uh but i can take one it just
oh it's fine i'll say the last thing before we move on for fridges unless you have more more to
talk about no i didn't even didn't even mean to talk about the fridge you brought it up i'm not
well i was curious because it was a big deal we're all excited and because it's you and no disrespect
to you jeff we expected your house to somehow burn down in the process of you getting a fridge
everything goes wrong always as did i yes but if you have to move the fridge for some reason you
have the hole if you could duplicate the pose from the Jet Li black mask poster,
that would make me really happy.
That's my one request.
If you could do that.
If you could do legs both sides and cool action pose, I'd love that.
I'll do that.
Yeah, that's the Sam Fisher thing.
Yeah, I'll do that, and then I'll send you the picture
with just my shins going into two pieces of wood,
and then the cabinet doors open and my feet dangling on the insides.
into two pieces of wood and then the cabinet doors open and my feet dangling
on the inside.
Me not being able to get out
and crying.
That'd be great. You just make me want
it more. I can't wait for this.
So what's the next thing now?
Have you got anything else that's
waiting to arrive or are you just going to wait for the next
thing to break? Oh, well
I do have a funny
story that i haven't told you guys yet um boy we are getting off on tan we have a lot to talk about
today we have to talk about does it do but uh but first i did buy a new sofa uh i don't know if i
told you guys but like uh you know henry uh sweet sweet henry he he lost his bladder control at the
end there and so he peed on the sofa a lot.
And he had sweet little happy, clean pee.
It wasn't terrible.
And I cleaned it up every day.
But my sofa cushions were in my front yard for about six months straight in the daytime
in the sun, just being cleaned and vacuumed out almost every day.
And so we wanted to get a new sofa.
But we thought, well, we'll just wait till the dogs go because there's no point.
And so when Henry,
uh,
when Henry went to,
uh,
puppy,
puppy dog heaven,
a couple,
like about a month later,
we went and we,
uh,
decided like now it's time to buy the sofa.
It'll probably take forever to get in if the fridge is any indication.
So let's go buy a sofa.
So we went and bought a sofa at this place in the domain called Interior Define.
Bought a just a nice sofa.
And they said, you'll have it in May.
We're like, that fucking sucks.
So but three months after we get the fridge, we'll get a sofa.
At least we're on the clock now, you know.
Are they owned by Blilliams Flanoma?
No, I don't think so uh but they
are owned by somebody else because not too long after we ordered the sofa and they told us they
were very clear this isn't coming until may we got in a letter like a form email from them that was
like we are so sorry about the delays with your sofa uh and they could tell it was like sent to
a lot of people and they're like we are doing everything in our power to get it to you on time.
And we're like,
yeah,
well,
you told us may it's fucking December.
What do we care?
Then Emily saw a Reddit thread about people not getting sofas from a company.
They bought,
turns out this interior defined company went bankrupt right after we bought this fucking sofa.
Oh no.
And,
uh, nobody's getting their sofas so then we're like in limbo we're like in sofa limbo then they release a statement recently that
was like listen want to let you guys know every single sofa purchased after december 16th 2022
will be delivered and i I'm like, cool.
We bought our sofa in November.
What does that mean?
I think it means we are fucked and we might have to like enter
into some class action lawsuit
to get our fucking money back
because they went bankrupt
and got bought by another company.
And now this other company is determining
if they're even going to continue making these products
or what to do with it or dismantle the company.
So anyway, I'm in this weird, uh, I'm in this weird holding pattern
where I bought a sofa for 2,400 bucks or whatever, uh, that I don't know if I have or will ever get.
Nobody can tell me yes for sure. Nobody can tell me no for sure. Nobody can tell me much of anything.
Uh, honestly, everything I read is conflicting and I don't really have extra money to throw
out and buy another sofa.
I also don't want to buy another sofa
so that in May, this sofa shows up
and suddenly I got extra sofa problems.
I also don't want to sit around and wait until May for this sofa
not to show up to then begin the
sofa buying process. I also don't want to
pop down another two grand on a sofa when I'm already
out two grand on the first sofa. I'd like to get
the money back, so I don't know what the fuck to do.
We're having this, it's like SofaGate. I don't know what the fuck to do. We're having this, it's like sofa gate. I don't
know what to do about sofa.
Very confused right now.
What happens if you charge back a credit
card payment to a company that doesn't exist
anymore? I don't know.
Some people had been trying that and
had limited success and other people
had no success. And so that is something
that I might do is talk to
the bank and just see if I can issue a charge back uh but it sounds like it's uh because of the the length of
time and stuff and i don't know we'll see i'm gonna get i'm gonna get it so i will have a sofa
someday i don't know if i'm gonna have the sofa i bought i don't know if the people that i bought
it from are gonna make it or the people that bought them are gonna make it uh or what but
someday i will have another sofa what you you don't have, for some reason
I thought you had the sofa and this was just
part of the journey of you getting it. You never
received. I thought you have
a sofa. No, I'm supposed to get
it in May.
I don't know why my brain thought
that you had a sofa. For some reason I
just decided you had one and you were telling us
about the process.
Just real quick,
other people on this podcast,
he's insane?
No, I totally want to make sure.
It sounds like it. I mean, I just don't know
how you could listen to all of that and be like,
so glad you got your sofa, man.
Not only was I, I was so lost in
the woods. I was, while you were saying
the story, Jeff, I thought, well, you shouldn't have said you already
got the sofa at the beginning because this really takes the wind out of this it's so
sales it doesn't there was a whole bit about how the quote was that it may show up in may and now
and now it may not but i thought he somehow got it i think because he got the fridge early i somehow
connected that the sofa came early i like i don't know for some reason my head i don't know what
happened there i think I spaced
out for a minute and I just changed what you were saying and then I was under the belief of what I
thought and not anything you it's that made no sense I apologize it's totally fine so I don't
I don't listen to half the stuff y'all say it's totally fine I get it I kept saying I was sitting
on you kept using that as like a phrase and And I was like, you're not sitting on anything.
It sounds like you're waiting on that sofa.
Maybe that's where I got lost.
I am waiting on this fucking sofa or somebody tell me.
Send you a sofa.
Is that what we're going to do?
Is this a problem?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I really I don't know where to go from here.
I think Emily and I are going to try to solve it this weekend.
I don't know if I need to go out and buy a new sofa, although I'm saving up for a wedding this year.
I don't have a ton of extra money to throw around.
I don't know if I like none of my emails are getting responded to by this company.
So I just I just don't know.
Hands are in the air right now.
I'm I'm one of the apparently millions of people across America who bought interior-defined products and are kind of fucked.
So we'll see. It's crazy that with all that sofa
money coming in, they still went under.
Yeah, I know, right? It's like, I know
they were getting some money in because I gave them a healthy check.
I wonder when they folded.
Like, what the distance was between you
making that purchase and when they
went out, when they lost all their money.
It was like weeks pretty it was like weeks
weeks it was like weeks
that's crazy yeah it was pretty insane
filming session the other day didn't we
we did we had a little filming session the other day
and man
I gotta say so we filmed
the first two episodes of does it
do back to back on the same day kind of as a
test uh a lot it feels like forever ago but eric was it like maybe september or october yeah i think
i think it was more like august but yeah something like that and it was phenomenal i had a lot of fun
gab i think you did too um and we really liked it we put those two episodes out. Then we had to go on hiatus for a while. And in that process, we had a meeting to talk it is to, to come up with funny stuff on the fly,
but preparation is key because you need ingredients and,
and things to do,
uh,
with these products.
And so we had a really,
really,
really,
really good,
uh,
planning session.
Gavin,
not Gavin was in there.
Sorry,
Eric and Andrew and I,
and we wrote down a bunch of stuff,
came up with a bunch of awesome ideas to round out the final six episodes for
those products.
And I was like more excited than ever to film it.
And then we didn't film it until yesterday.
And so all of those ideas just went away.
Like they're on a spreadsheet that Eric showed me.
But, you know, after a while, you lose connection to all of that.
Right. And so I went back to not wanting to record.
I wanted to make it less now than ever before, because now I just looked at a bunch of props that I didn't know what to
do with.
And we were talking about how face seems to happen in all these different
phases.
And we go like all in and then we do it.
And then we're straight onto the next thing.
And it felt like,
does it do was very like last phase or a couple of phases ago.
So we were both just like,
wow,
I'm just feeling rusty and like,
I couldn't remember any,
like Jeff was just stood over a bunch of buckets of stuff.
Like what,
what's this?
What are we doing?
What's this for?
Because Eric wasn't there.
Tyler was like,
I don't know.
I mean, it was on the list.
Yeah.
Tyler was producing it and he did a phenomenal job,
but he was only able to do,
he was only able to do what we gave him.
Right.
So we didn't,
so we're like,
here's the stuff to buy.
He goes out and he buys it,
but he doesn't know what we're planning to do with it.
And so Gavin's right.
He kept referring to it as a production from two phases ago,
and it totally felt like that.
But then I walked around RT,
and I just started grabbing shit that looked funny
and kind of cobbled together a rough idea.
I don't think any of it was as good as maybe the stuff
that we came up with that day, Andrew,
that is just lost to the annals of time.
But then we sat, we got in front of the
camera and I, I'll be honest with you guys. I have hit a point where I want to appear on camera
less often, way less often. Uh, I really, really into doing the audio podcast. I really love that.
Uh, I've even resisted turning this into a video podcast. I just don't want to be on video anymore.
I don't know what it is. It's just a phase in my life.
I'm just over it.
And so I was kind of not jazzed about that as well.
And then the second we got started,
I don't know.
It was like a light switch turned on,
and it became...
No, it wasn't a light switch.
It was a fun switch turned on,
and it became instantly the most fun
I have ever had in my entire life.
And I don't think that's hyperbole, Gavin.
What do you think?
Yeah, it went from something that we were talking about before of just like,
you weren't that into it.
And I was like, why don't we just not do it?
It's not too late.
We could just not bother and just say that it was only two episodes.
And then we finished episode one of that shoot.
And we were like, okay, so how do we make like 25 more of these?
This is the first fun show.
Gavin at one point turned to me and he said how do we only do this for the rest of our lives and i was like i don't
know dude but i'm right there with you i just it was i have never had more fun and each episode
was more fun and i think better than the previous one like we were just like building this head of
steam and just getting funnier and better as we went.
And I think one of the,
it's going to be cool for the season when people watch it.
Well,
at least the,
it was supposed to be six episodes.
It's five.
I guess we'll explain that.
Uh,
I think,
I think we might be able to get this.
Well,
we'll see if we can get the sixth.
Well,
it might be five and a half episodes.
We got five.
Uh,
well,
we'll see.
Yeah.
Five and a half, five, five, five episodes in the beginning of got five uh well we'll see yeah five and a half
five five episodes in the beginning of a sixth episode we'll see uh uh fuck i forgot what i was
where i was going with this i got lost in my head in my head as the as the episodes progress
you guys show progression on what you're wearing etc you are absolutely that's exactly where i was
going with this er Eric. Thank you.
This old dumb brain is getting dumber.
I think it'll be fun for the audience to see us
becoming increasingly disheveled and gross
because it was one of the grossest things
I've ever participated in.
I threw up a couple times.
Gavin threw up a couple times.
That was a bit where we were making,
it was one of the later ones we were making it and I threw up and couple times. There was a bit where we were making... It was one of the later ones.
We were making it, and I threw up.
I just thought, man, this one is just way too gross.
We might not be able to put this one out.
And then the next one we filmed,
we definitely can't put out.
So that means we have to put out the gross one.
Wait.
How many did you film?
How many were shot?
We shot five and a half.
Okay.
You filmed five and a half episodes that
day yeah seriously oh my god i wasn't sure if you guys got past one based up so i haven't i've been
avoiding any information about this because i wanted to hear about on the show but i have seen
a few photos and the photos i've seen there's noodles all over a desk for some reason jeff is covered in pink shit for some reason like
an explosion clearly happened i think something got launched into a wall at some point from what
i can tell i can't decipher what happened there and then i've i've heard other things that were
alarming that made me think that that's there might even be a physical injury of some kind
well i should i go to the beginning of that where where we were david you and i were supposed to
play war zone on tuesday when did you guys film that tuesday doesn't matter anyway tuesday we're
supposed to play uh towards thezo Tuesday yeah and I texted a
follow up being like hey we still doing this
and you didn't reply and then
Jeff texted me if I
had heard anything about does it do and I explained
that no I was waiting because it seems
crazy what I've seen I've got a lot of questions about it
and also Gavin's ditched
me and then Jeff brought up
that he felt he was ditched because we
play the three of us played on
Friday had one of the best times
I've had playing games in a long time. It was
great. It was so much fun. Same. Then
then Gavin and I played Saturday.
Jeff was not part of that. So Jeff
felt ditched. I wasn't invited to
play. I said, let's play again
this weekend. And I said, absolutely. I
definitely want to play with you guys this weekend. I'm very
excited. Let's play play and then I never
exact words and fairness
to Gavin who scheduled this
your response was I'm
available this weekend and
every day until the end of time
you gave a very large availability
window just because like I
think there's really I should point out I invited Jeff
to tonight's potential session and
he's busy
one night I'm going out to a should point out, I invited Jeff to tonight's potential session and he's busy.
That's fair. The one night I'm going out to a comedy show
that my friend invited me to.
Well, anyway,
Jeff and I were going back and forth
and I said, I think Gavin's ignoring me.
I think he's ditched me again.
He's not replying to my things.
He said he'd do this.
Jeff said he felt ditched.
I said, do you want to play Warzone right now?
And we could figure out why Gavin hates us.
We could just play, you and I.
It wasn't supposed to happen.
And then Jeff at first was, yes, or it was tomorrow.
I said, reschedule for tomorrow.
And Jeff said, yeah.
And then he changed his tune to actually, no, wait, I might,
something happened that doesn't do,
I might not physically be capable of playing video games for a while.
I'll need to get back to you on that one.
What happened?
I think I'm off games for a few days I'll need to get back to you on that one. What happened?
I think I'm off games for a few days.
For a few more days.
You should post that picture, Jeff.
Was that the last episode you filmed?
When did this happen?
Yeah, episode six.
Here, I'm going to look for this photo.
Gav, you fill in for me.
I got to go back through your text to find it.
Was it obvious whatever happened, Gavin, that he
had like a legit injury, potentially?
When the moment happened?
Alright, here we go. I got it.
I'm trying to...
I gave you a way to fill and you just ignored it.
He's not helping at all.
Okay.
Jeff just posted a photo. It's like
is that blood or ketchup?
That blood?
What do you think?
That's blood.
That's a little bit of a lot of blood.
Okay, so it's like a it looks almost like cake flour
or like
chips of some kind.
I'll be honest with you.
It might be banana. I don't know.
It kind of does look like a banana chip.
It's banana, yeah. I will say
I discovered a new
use for bananas, and I think Gavin did too,
that is a phenomenal
use for bananas. Bananas
are the ultimate palate cleanser.
It's Bovril Cancela. It's
salad dressing cancela.
When you make a frozen
salad dressing popsicle,
or you try to mix instant coffee in your mouth,
you need a banana immediately after.
I came home after that shooting day,
not very hungry for dinner.
And I was like, that's so weird.
I didn't even eat lunch.
And I remember I probably ate like four bananas.
Dude,
I was so fucking,
I mean,
I was,
I was nauseous for a couple of reasons after that,
but I think a lot of it was just what we put in us.
And I didn't even,
I didn't even like,
I don't know,
man,
I was so into it.
I didn't even care.
I could have put,
I would have put mayonnaise in my mouth that time.
I would have put avocado.
It wouldn't have mattered.
I would have eaten sour cream. It, uh, I would have put avocado. It wouldn't have mattered. I would have eaten sour cream.
I was so in the zone filming with you.
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So the last episode, we filmed like products.
I'll preview some of the products we filmed.
I think the first thing we filmed with was a thing called the SpinChill, which is a...
Okay, yeah.
It's a...
Yeah, you...
Actually, you looked at the products.
That's right, in that meeting, Andrew.
Well, that product, the spin shill no longer exists.
So we had to buy like the new modified version of it, which is basically you put it into
a drill bit into a drill and then it's got the rubber thing on the top.
So you just have a soda on a drill.
Okay.
So we, we filmed that episode.
We had this thing called the garlic master.
Uh, we had these, uh these shoes that you slide on carpet with
that we filmed.
It turned out to be a phenomenon.
That was the episode I had the least planned for
that turned out to be the best, I think.
It was just like this wackier, wackier shit.
The last one we had was a product called the Tack Shaver.
It's a tactical shaver.
You're supposed to be able to shave on the go.
The dude in the trailer, it's a Bell & Howell product, so it's all tactical shaver. So you're supposed to be able to shave on the go. And like the dude in the trailer, it's a Bell and Howell product.
So it's all like fake military shit.
Like they have like a tactical flashlight and like, you know, like tactical shoelaces and like stuff that doesn't need to be tactical.
But but they do it anyway.
Right.
Like tack fork.
So this tack shaver is fucking stupid, but it's like a little mini like face shaver.
uh so this tag shaver is fucking stupid but it's like a little mini uh like face shaver and it supposedly works underwater for the like nick said for the tactical man on the go like if you find
yourself at the bottom of a swimming pool and with five o'clock shadow you can shave under in the
bottom of the pool if you want to so one of the ideas that we had was to submerge ourselves and then try to shave underwater.
We didn't have a swimming pool in the budget.
So I asked for like a,
uh,
like a 10 or 20 gallon aquarium that I thought might work.
And they,
they weren't able to acquire that,
but they did get this giant fish bowl that was like fucking big.
And I picked it up and I put my head on it very easily.
And I was like,
Oh,
this works.
Uh, yeah, like a punch bowl, fish bowl, whatever. Uh, and I was like oh this works yeah like a punch bowl fish bowl whatever and I was like yeah
this is perfect and so we're filming we're doing
all the stuff we're racing the clock because
Gavin has a hard out at five
and we're you know we started at
two we were like we're just
fucking cranking through these episodes we
have like 20 minutes to film this
entire episode and they're like we probably
should shut down and I was like no we can get Gavin no we can get through this because we're not going to get
and it's because the actual shooting of the episode bit was really short it was all the
cleanup in between the episodes that was taking the time but we could like rattle through an
episode in like 10-15 minutes yeah they're designed to be quick and we're like just don't
clean up we just won't clean up and then we i want the set to look progressively shittier as
the season goes on anyway uh and boy will it because we did want the set to look progressively shittier as the season goes on anyway and boy will
it because we did some terrible
stuff to that place
and so we fill this
punch bowl up I look up we got like nine minutes to
go Gavin tries to put his head in the water
he's gonna shave he's tries to put his head in
just like dunk his head in and then we have the razor
in the bottom and just like grab it and try to shave
underwater and
I mean I don't mean this to be funny but Gavin Gavin's head wouldn't fit in the bottom and just like grab it and try to shave underwater and I mean I don't
mean this to be funny but Gavin
Gavin's head wouldn't fit in the bowl
because his nose was too big
it was like my
my nose bone was
the point of failure I just couldn't
I should have angled my head but it just kept
smacking into my
damn big nose
and so I was like, fuck it.
I'll do it.
I went from having the best time of my life
to the emergency room in 30 seconds.
Oh my God.
I stick my head in.
I put like a shower cap on.
I stick my head in.
I put my hand in to get the razor
and suddenly I hear a crack
and 10 gallons of water
fall onto the ground
along with about a gallon
of my blood.
I look up.
Oh my God.
The bowl just shattered
and it sliced open
two of my fingers
on my left hand
and pretty fucking deep.
And so I had to go to the emergency room for the first time in almost 20 years.
I had to of rooster teeth filming.
I got I had to go to the emergency room and that is what my hand looks like today.
I got five stitches.
That was very deep.
Yeah, my pinky cut.
God, it cut to my bone so you can like they had the pinky was a little tough and it cut like about half the circumference of
my or the diameter of my pinky is cut in like like a half circle around my pinky and then the really
deep puncture one is uh on my my ring finger there and i guess it's because you were lent over it so
that when it gave way you kind of fell onto where it was so it's actually really lucky it didn't you know nick the old
jugular but uh your hands went down to protect your head and then straight into the glass i assume
i assume so yeah it just all happened so fast and so um you know i don't think anyone has ever
bled more from the hands on different occasions than you at this point.
Oh my God, I know, right?
I'm sitting there getting stitches,
and the guy's like,
you ever had stitches before?
And I'm like, yeah, three fingers over on my thumb.
It was a giant scar.
Oh my God.
So, yeah, so I have stitches.
I realized something troubling when I was in the ER.
I was like, are these dissolvable?
And they're like, nah, you got to come back in 10 days to get the stitches pulled out.
And I'm like, God damn it.
And then I realized I am out of my dental phase.
Like my dental season is over, I think.
Now I'm in stitches season.
I had stitches in my balls last summer for the vasectomy.
I had stitches in my mouth like two months ago.
And now I have stitches in my hand.
I've only had stitches in my body three times in the last 20 years,
probably, and all three times have been in the last six months.
I don't want to be in stitches season.
I don't want this season to continue.
I'm putting that out there to the universe.
No more stitches.
It fucking sucks.
They fucking hurt.
Oh, my God. They fucking hurt. Oh my God.
They have to numb up the cut.
Do you know how they do that?
They take a giant needle
full of lidocaine
and they jab it into the wound
20 fucking times.
I just sat there.
The stitches didn't hurt at all
because I was already numbed up
because they jabbed the needle
full of lidocaine into the wound
over and over again. And the
guy's like, I'm really sorry. This part, this is the really
rough part. I'm like, yeah, I felt
I'm pretty sure he pierced my fucking
pinky bone. It hurts so bad. Oh my
God. Oh man, that sucked.
I just couldn't, I couldn't
believe it. And then we were trying to like
quickly just
like do the outro to the video
just be like well i didn't work let's do it and then jeff was like yeah let's just do it real
quick and then and i was like yeah okay and then suddenly it was just like oh maybe we shouldn't
because that was just blood it just the blood was just so fast we couldn't couldn't get it to stop
oh my god but luckily you know roosty's very close to an emergency room and uh they were uh
those people were great and there was i did run Street's very close to an emergency room, and those people were great.
I did run into a community member in the emergency room who asked me for a photo.
I was sitting there with Tyler in a chair in the waiting room with just a pile of rags on my hand and blood everywhere.
And I was like, yeah, if you don't mind a bloody hand.
And he's like, no, I don't care. And I was like, okay. So we took a photo a bloody hand he's like no i don't care i was
like okay so we took a photo with some dude we we just like what what are you in for to each other
he was like he was he wasn't even there for anything he was delivering something
uh is that the most substantial injury you've received on a production oh easily i think it
might be the only real injury i've ever received on a production that i can remember uh that's crazy for for as much as there's an injury and everything i talked
with shane who's like our production manager our head of all of our like studio production uh he
had nothing but good things to say about this he's like i hope that we can keep doing these even
though jeff almost lost a finger i really love does it do and I didn't
care how messy it was that was a crazy shoot
that
seemed like an insane shoot to be
capped off by those cuts
that's wild dude
here's what I'll say
it was so
good and so much
fun and I'm so proud
of the shit we made
in the first five episodes
that the stitches
and the cut don't bother me at all.
I'm not mad at all. It was a
dumb price to pay that I
don't particularly want to pay,
but if that's the price to pay,
I'm happy to pay it because those episodes are so
fucking fun to make. I hope it
translates. I hope the audience likes it.
I hope it's so successful that we get to do more of it because I agree with what Gavin
said in the moment, and I hope you still do, Gav.
I want to do that always.
That is the most fucking fun I've...
Maybe it's something that we could just do like five a year or something.
Yeah.
I mean, we just need to get together for...
We can film a season in a day easily, and then you just do like like five a year or something yeah i mean we just need to get together for we can we can film a season in a day easily and then you just do like two seasons a year or something
because we've yet to do a shoot day where one of us didn't get hurt i mean i wasn't hurt as badly
as you were but still that's two for two that's true that's a great point that is true oh we'll
get progressively safer as it goes i think the biggest limiter for does it do is just going to be finding the
products because interestingly enough,
Andrew,
from when we had that big meeting where we came up with all the ideas for the
products,
uh,
to when we filmed just yesterday,
two of those products went out of stock and disappeared off the internet,
not on eBay,
not on use sites.
Not a shock.
So it's like we,
we lost and had to find quick replacements for two of the things.
So it's just like, there's just not that much out there that's
really great to work with. Yeah, maybe we should just
buy throughout the year and then when we have enough, just
film a session. I think so too.
Because I think that the real
limiter is just going to be finding the products to
investigate.
You think the limiter is that? I think the limiter is
one of you getting hurt from the sounds
of it. Like that's when it ends almost. i see a world where you film as many episodes until you
have to be rushed to the er or gavin somehow breaks every bone in his body while not breaking
anything simultaneously there's 100 injury rate on the filming of this show yeah for both there
is that is a good point that is a good point. That is a good point. I also like, I've been doing production
for 19 and a half years,
20 years now.
Dumb, jackass style production.
I made it almost 20 years
without having to go to the ER.
I think that's a really, really good,
that's a really good run.
Like, I can't complain about that,
you know?
No, that's great.
I've done one that resulted
in the emergency room.
Like, I remember you cut your
knee that time right on a slow-mo shoot gav yeah i got hit with a bit of shrapnel and it was uh too
gruesome to put in the episode which is double sad it is because you lose the footage too right
i the thing that would is good that bummed me i was thinking about in the emergency room when i
was waiting the thing that bummed me out the most is i felt like in episode six, the one that we're going to lose, the tax shaver, I
nailed the intro.
That was the best intro. I nailed
the fucking intro. While I was
doing it, I was like, holy shit, this is a good
intro I'm doing. I want
to go back and redo the other intros, but I can't
because I'm covered in bananas and shit.
This is a great intro.
And then just fucking, yeah.
Well, maybe we can show it one day at like an event or something where it's not great intro. And then just fucking, yeah. Well, maybe we can show it one day
at like an event or something
where it's not put online.
Yeah, maybe.
I mean, we'll definitely go back
and redo the tax driver
because we have a couple of minutes
too funny not to.
We'll just, you know,
work with acrylic next time
and stay away from glass.
There'll be a no glass set
from here on out.
That's for sure.
That's exciting.
I have no idea
what that will look like,
but I know it's going to be great and
I do like that we've established I feel like those do need to be shot in one sequence I think the
progression of the set and just the mess that is caused by these things have to be consistent
totally agree yeah and it's fun to see them I want to do another season just because I feel
like we learn more each time and we get a little bit better each time like everything that I know
now after two filming sessions I'll apply to the third and i feel like it'll just be that
much funnier oh for sure yeah i can't do we have any idea when those will roughly be out i mean i
know you guys just shot them it's probably gonna be a bit i have a meeting tomorrow about uh when
we can actually get these through post but i moved a lot of stuff around and I do think that it'll be sooner rather
than later.
Um,
awesome.
What I would like to do is see if anyone wants to top line sponsor this
thing,
because I feel like this show is too good.
It's maybe it's yeah.
We'll see if OSHA can throw some money at us.
Hey,
don't be like these guys one who almost broke his ass
and the other one who almost lost a finger work safety is important i don't do once there's a
catalog of episodes available that people could see i think it would be so funny to go to the
people that make these products
and like reach out to them to try to get them the sponsor that doesn't do oh that episode i think
that would be the ones that are still in business yes the ones that that survive long enough for you
to get a response from like whatever i don't know what you did with what but like whatever caused
the explosion on the on you jeff or team, whatever that was, like that company,
the idea that that company sees the footage of Does It Do?
And is like, yep, that's what we want is very funny to me.
It just, it sounds like we're almost holding them hostage.
Hey, sponsor this and we'll really show you what this thing's capable of.
Well, first off, I want to say we are impartial with,
and it's an honest evaluation.
There were multiple products, without spoiling stuff, multiple products made it into the
wall of do, and multiple products made it into the pile of don't.
Some stuff worked better than advertised.
Some stuff did exactly what they said it did, and it did it better than they said it would.
Like some of those products, I was legitimately blown away away by some of the products were utter dog shit just uh just a
just a travesty uh uh so we kind of run the gamut on both eric i thought it was you but it may have
been tyler that told me one of the people that we got product from when they sent the product
said by the way we're big fans. Oh, are you serious?
Oh, no, I hadn't heard that.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Talk to Tyler because he knows whoever that was.
Whoever that was, we could talk to him.
Oh, that's oh, hell yeah.
That's so cool.
Yeah, I thought so, too.
I don't remember which one it was, but yeah.
So we have what?
Seven.
You've done seven products at this point.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that's what season one
will just be seven instead of eight okay are
there any of those you said that you like them have you incorporated any of these into like your
your routine or will they be going forward you said it's not yet life hack fashion okay
i'm no i'm not just like i think i think these are all life hacks right isn't the general concept
of all these products in a sense is they're trying to be a life hack in a way? I was just curious if
any of these are like, I use this every
day now. I went into this doing
a goofy thing, but now this is my shit.
I'm gonna...
I'll say this.
There's one product in particular that I definitely
won't be incorporating into any
facet of my life, and that's the...
I'll just say it. That's the fucking
useless garlic master
what a hunk of shit that was
oh my god
I'm so excited
that's the one that we couldn't figure out how to
open and then the one that fell apart in our
fucking hands
I actually wrote down a new life hack
Oh yeah what is it?
I clearly don't really get life hacks yet
I've not really come up with one that's a good life hack
Is this a life hack?
Ikea furniture doesn't survive moves
How would that be a hack?
How is that a hack?
Well that means
If you're buying Ikea furniture
For a place that you're going gonna move out of soon don't okay well that's a good okay you're no
you're phrasing of it it would be like a if that's a fortune cookie that i'm mad i opened what you
just said those six like i understand what you're saying but that makes no sense like how is that a
hack i like ikea i like the cost of the stuff but every time i've moved
a billy bookcase with movers it it becomes a chipped up smashed up piece of collapsing shit
okay this is your problem though gavin i own let's say i own ikea furniture i've now you've
given me this information i need to move what am i supposed to do with that information? Just set my expectation.
Yeah.
Don't bother.
No, I think this could fall under hack.
No, this is, once again, just information.
This is just information. It's like Gavin saying, if you buy IKEA furniture and you plan to move, don't.
Don't buy the furniture or don't plan to move with the furniture.
Because here's the thing about IKEA furniture.
It's, you know, it doesn't survive the moves.
The movers smash it all up.
But also they're incredibly difficult
to dismantle and put back together.
Like a lot of the time when you build IKEA,
you're like wrecking it up in place
and then it's pretty much stuck that way.
I think you could maybe make this a hack
if it was like, hey, if you're moving somewhere,
ship it to where you're going to move to and then build it there.
Don't attempt to send it to you.
Mine's more of like, even if you know you're going to move in a year, don't do it.
But I don't think.
Here's the hack.
Here's the hack.
Here's the hack.
Here's the hack.
Your hack is to still buy IKEA.
If you buy IKEA furniture, which is fine.
We all have IKEA furniture. i have a ton of it if you buy ikea
furniture build it where it's going to live forever because the moment you have to move it
it's going to fall apart but like that's not a hack no it's not like the hack would be do this
no no because the hack is like do this instead of that. Not even close. And all you're saying is, if you have Ikea furniture, leave it.
And that's not a hack.
That's just you telling a friend how to move.
And your initial criticism of my hack was that all I did was order a thing.
Okay, well, here's what I'll say.
But your version of the hack would be order the schmeckle at Ikea. That's not a hack. No,. But your version of the hack would be order the Schmeckle at Ikea.
That's not a hack.
No, this is my version of the hack.
You want to bench in a table?
If you buy this thing, you get those things at a cheaper price.
That is essentially what my hack was.
I think a hack to me is you're getting either value or something that they don't intend for how their system is set up by,
by placing the order or whatever you're doing.
It doesn't have to be like purchasing dictionary.com says the definition of
life.
I fucking lost it.
Where'd it go?
Hold on.
He just set up a real gotcha and then fell on his ass.
I think you'll find dictionary.com described
uh defines a life hack as a tip trick or efficient method for doing or managing a day-to-day task or
activity yeah i don't think that what you said gavin categorizes as any of those it's just advice
do you think i could have phrased it in a way that would make it a hack?
Here's the thing.
With all of your hacks, they're all information I'm glad I have.
Like, I'm not upset about what you're telling me.
It doesn't change the situation at all.
And it doesn't make the process easier.
What if...
Because I think I'm working towards releasing my own life hack book
based on these findings,
but I think the reviews are going to be pretty shitty at this rate.
I think it would be a great advice book.
Just not hack a book.
What if instead of calling these life hacks,
what if we call them Gavin's life tips?
Because I'm the last person who should be giving advice.
Something, I just, I want, how many?
But isn't a life hack advice?
God damn it, Emma.
No, a life hack is not advice.
Advice is not a life hack.
A tip is advice. Yeah, advice advice is not a life hack a tip is advice
yeah but that's not a hat but a life i just it's dictionary.com describes if you okay this is
if if we're out somewhere and you're like i don't like spicy things and you're gonna buy something
spicy because i know i've experienced that and i said oh don't buy that things and you're going to buy something spicy because I know I've experienced with that. And I said, Oh, don't buy that.
That's not a life hack.
This is me advising based on experience.
A hack needs to be like,
it needs to somehow circumvent some other obstacle in a more efficient way.
All right.
So I don't think we're in hacked here.
I want you to keep at it because I'm enjoying these tips.
They're great tips.
As somebody who's looking at buying something from Ikea,
you are in your hacking face.
Or you're trying to get to it.
You're on the road to a hacking face.
I can see Hack Mountain, but I keep just climbing about the hills.
Yeah.
While I thought your wording was dog shit, Gavin,
I did think there was a life hack in there.
So I guess I'm at the bottom of Life Hack Mountain with you I'll let you know what do you think the life
hack was well if okay maybe it is a wording thing Jeff if you're gonna reword his point to make I
already tried to and you you said it didn't work so fair enough yeah what did you do I did my best
mainly uh scheduling war zone games that you don't show up to is uh most recent that happened once
that's an exaggeration i did the night i texted you this is i don't know if this is an endorsement
for how big the gerbler is i texted you to confirm then i just had a feeling that you weren't gonna
get back to me so i was like i'm gonna have a bath so i had a bath all comfortable it's great
got the water run it's warm i'm cozy
i was like you know what i'm just gonna i'm gonna put my phone down i'm not even gonna worry about
you replying for a little bit i'm just gonna close my eyes and relax and so i go to move my phone on
my hands and i place it on the toilet seat to my left and i had forgotten that i had put a gerbler
full of water there and the gerpler is such a big open
top i dropped my phone into my gerpler in the dark and then and and then halfway like was half
falling and i panicked i was like oh water and i threw my phone onto the ground and i was like i
guess i hope he doesn't reply now because i have no idea if he responds. Are you talking about your new phone, though?
Your new refurbished Pixel phone?
Yes, yeah, my new refurbished.
It drops all the time.
I hate whatever material it's made of.
It slides off of everything I know
and hits the floor constantly.
It is hitting the floor over 80 times easily.
It's constantly falling.
But yeah, I almost put it fully in the Gerp.
It would have went all the way in the
gerpler the top is so big but then i felt the water panicked threw it to the floor then i fell
asleep for like 20 minutes i got so comfortable i didn't know how much time had passed i was
worried that you had replied and that i had missed it and so i had to like i was grabbing towels off
the floor i didn't want to get out of the bath,
but I needed the phone.
So I went on this whole fishing expedition
to get the phone back.
And I finally got it.
And then Jeff had texted me like five minutes prior.
I didn't hear from you until like an hour,
two hours after that, maybe.
It was a whole thing.
Speaking of bathrooms
and actually playing Call of Duty together,
should we talk about our bathroom adventure?
We should.
That was great.
So we...
I don't know when that became the strategy,
but the three of us were playing Warzone.
I don't think you played a lot of the last Warzone, Jeff,
but you had played Warzone 2.
I played a ton of Warzone 1 on Verdansk,
and I played a lot of Blackout as well.
But yeah. Yeah. And thenk and I played a lot of like previous like Blackout as well but yeah yeah and then Gavin and I have just started
playing I don't think Gavin has played Warzone
for a long time I don't know I haven't played since
the Call of Duty Blackout
yeah so we started that and
we're just we're having fun we're doing goofy
things and then we decided let's try to
actually win which largely is
based around hiding and so we
adopted this bathroom strategy where the three
of us would all like huddle up in a we get some supplies oh my picture's too powerful oh that
picture we just wait in the bathroom and one of my favorite features which i'm sure is terrible too
for wars into is whenever anyone's in your proximity and they're in game chat you can see
so i'm just going to post a photo.
This is our bathroom setup.
I'm crouched in the middle.
You can see Jeff and Gavin
over each of my shoulders.
We've got this door locked down.
If anyone tries to open it,
they're in trouble.
We're holding out.
We were there for probably
like five or 10 minutes.
We lasted a long time in this bathroom.
And then we got the ping on the screen
of somebody is's in our
proximity there's somebody talking and whatever that happens i love to go in the game chat and
just listen because it's almost always it's always great from my experience either it's somebody who
is not like they're taking it very seriously or they're not at all it's a baby crying it's just
something's always going on so i went into game chat and it was this woman talking with her team and they were so tactical.
They were like fully role playing like the soldier thing of like I'm scanning room one going and progressing on your on your right on your right passing your flank clearing all clear like they were clearing room by room.
They probably attack shavers in the pocket.
They probably did.
They're probably well versed in tax gaming.
So they're going room by room and then she opens the door and she was so startled by the three of us with her gun just ready to go she broke character she just went oh they're in the
bathroom like all of the everything the tone completely shifted then it was complete mayhem i ran out after her i broke her shields
but then i got downed and then i died and i thought oh we're over it's done and then gavin
what did you well how did you guys survive that what happened i ran out uh just started blasting
i i think i emptied half of my shotgun into je by accident, which is a friendly fire, so I didn't kill him or anything.
But I just watched you and the right people.
And then I noticed that someone was downed.
But I had a sniper out because I'd wasted most of my shotgun.
So I switched to my sniper.
I started trying to shoot the person crawling along the floor.
I missed like four shots.
And then I got downed.
And then I crawled back to Jeff.
Jeff got me up right as the third person ran into the room.
And I somehow got up and within a split second,
no scope that person who just ran in.
Saving both of us.
It was incredible.
It was wild.
I shot a, I killed one of the three of them
with a rocket launcher at close range.
Because I panicked.
I wish we had Gavin's photo.
The room on the other side of that door
is just painted.
It looks like they filmed three seasons of Does It Do.
It's just painted in blood and guts.
It was wild.
Just everything was destroyed.
It was so much fun.
We had a similar encounter later
where once again went into game chat.
We seemed to encounter the most serious teams that evening and
we kept winning somehow against them. It would
make me so happy.
It was great. We couldn't have been, we're the
least competent crew in the session
by far. So getting
these victories over these people that are taking the game
super seriously. Oh, it's
wonderful. I think we
have...
That's such a great before and after.
That's me.
That's my dead body right in front of the door.
All three of us are in that photo.
I'll see if I can put...
I'll get my full clip up.
I think it starts with me just missing with the sniper four times.
It's great.
I think it starts with you just missing with the sniper four times. It's great. I think
we have a unique
form of panic that's very
unpredictable for people who know how to play the game.
So I think in some
ways we have the advantage because they
can't figure out what we're going to do because we don't
know what we're going to do. It's genius.
Yeah, it's brilliant. It's a genius strategy.
It's been really fun. Andrew, did you
see the clip I posted on Slack of you leaping your quad bike into the train no i haven't watched that's a good one
it definitely won't fit in discord but yeah it's a goodie i tried to drive a vehicle onto because
there's a train that goes around the map and i was curious if we could like park vehicles on it to
escape if we needed to and they just explode no what you do, like as soon as you land,
they just explode
and you get knocked down.
So do not do that.
I'd avoid doing that.
It was kind of a shame
how much fun we had
just playing video games
because it really made me
want to make a
face video game show.
We should.
I don't know.
I don't know why we wouldn't.
I have been trying to get you guys to do that.
I figured it'd be a great Gavin and Andrew show
since you guys play together so much,
but I had so much fucking fun.
God damn, dude, did I have fun that night
playing Call of Duty with y'all.
I think it's a great idea.
Tomorrow night.
Tomorrow, yeah.
There you go.
It has a date.
It comes out tomorrow.
The issue is the editing side of it.
We can easily film it.
It's just, who's going to cut that?
We've got no money.
I'll have to try to talk to a guy to get a guy,
but if it's something we want to do,
it's something we can make happen.
We've got Nitro as well.
No, we found out we don't need Nitro.
We need boosts for the server
in order to get the server bigger.
I'm not really clear on what the server boost does or really how to get it as previously stated i'm on gavin's side uh but
in defense once again to him nitro even though we don't need it i want it i've been thinking about
that nitro is like the best sounding addition i've ever heard but it doesn't if i went to any
restaurant i know i know we don't need it, but if anybody was like, hey, do you
want to pay an extra dollar for nitro?
I would always say yes. Yeah, imagine you
at a restaurant and they're like, would you like the
shrimp or the shrimp nitro?
It's always nitro. 100% nitro.
You guys are insane. It's such a great... You're nuts.
You're fucking nuts. It's a
great word. Insane. There's no
situation in which I don't want nitro.
What is that?
Have you ever had nitro cold brew?
Oh, it's so good.
What is that?
Is the nitro like nitrogen?
Is that what they do?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like when you have a Guinness and then it's kind of heady and you have to let it
settle.
It's that, but for coffee.
Oh, okay.
Oh, it makes it so creamy.
Starbucks has one.
I think at a moral level, though,
I'm just against the idea of paying for boosts on anything.
I just hate the sound of it.
I agree with you.
What am I boosting?
Give me the service.
Give me a plan.
No, shut up.
Okay.
I'm not against that.
When we played, and this is aggressive,
but the first season of Halo Infinite,
every time we'd play, you would start the session by going,
I'm going to buy a level up.
Buying a boost.
It was the version of the game I got gave me 25 to use, and I
would always just use a boost.
I apologize.
I assumed you bought them.
I didn't have that context.
I was wrong.
When I'm wrong, I'll admit I'm wrong.
I was right about the drafts. I was wrong about this.
I have no issue admitting when I'm wrong.
Speaking of the drafts,
and Eric says we should wrap up, so we should probably start wrapping up,
but now that we're through with Does It Do?
and I believe, not as of
this recording, but this week, the Fireplace video
will finally come up. Other than the
Does It Do? stuff, we're through all of our
supplemental content, so we need to start
We've been on a fucking tear with supplemental content these last like three months i want to
keep that ball rolling i think the fireplace took uh three full days to process to 8k
totally worth it though it absolutely and you're right it's just going to be comments from people
going and tweets from people i have to block who are just going to be like, it's not an 8K for me. I could not
care less. It's not, look, we tried.
There's nothing I can do. It is what
it is at this point.
I'll say this. It's up there at 8K. If you have
a browser slash device that can
make use of it, then you'll see the option
for it. If not, it will just be
4K or HD, I guess.
But it's up there at 8K.
So look forward to that if you haven't already watched it. Also, Condor Man will film at some point. Yep. But it's up there in 8K. So look forward to that
if you haven't already watched it.
Also, Condor Man
we'll film at some point.
Also, Does It Do?
Also, a bunch of other stuff.
Gavin had an idea.
I know we're wrapping up,
but Gavin had an idea
that we're going to forget
to talk about
if we don't mention it here.
When we were filming Does It Do?
that I thought was
one of the best ideas
I've heard in a while.
Gavin's idea,
I don't think any of you guys heard it.
I think it was just he and I.
His idea was that we film an episode of F*** Face
where two people get caffeine pills
and two people take Z-Quils
and you don't know which you're taking
and then you just see what happens
and try to figure it out.
It's so, we can't.
Get OSHA back as the sponsor.
Like, we can't do it. Like, we can't.ha back is responsible like we can't do it like we can't but man fucking crazy
that's the sucky thing about this being technically work is that we it's work but you can't do that
work i know but if we all took a day off and did it no well wait so how potent is the caffeine pill
and comparison not as potent as all the caffeine i
drink constantly probably it's but i don't really drink caffeine but it's concentrated and it's
gonna get you going like you're gonna feel you're gonna feel buzzy and it would have to be the reason
like on the level of a z-quill or something so the reason i thought it'd be funny is that
after a few minutes say after 10 minutes you would feel some sort of change,
but you wouldn't immediately be able to tell which one you've had
if you didn't know what it was.
Yeah, there's a hazy period where you just feel different.
You don't know if it's different energy or different time.
We filmed a video, like a Let's Play Left 4 Dead thing in like 2015,
a long time ago, the three of us and Caleb was part of that. And i was like so anxious about it i was like i need to pump up i need some
energy i need to be enthused for this i need to get going so i drank like four red bulls in three
minutes right before we started shooting i don't know if i told this story before but i drank like
four red bulls in a really condensed time and then we filmed it and we were done. I was like,
that was great! And I like stood up
and I was like, that was, oh man, that was fun!
And then I looked at everybody
else and you all were so relaxed. I was like,
what's wrong with them?
Oh! Oh, I just, I
don't drink energy, I just had four
Red Bulls in an hour.
You're an all or nothing kind of guy.
I was very all or nothing yeah so
that's that's what i feel like i could tap into i had uh i mean we're supposed to wrap up but uh
i realized i could get cake drunk which i'm very excited with somebody who doesn't drink
oh my god how many bowls of cake do you take to get not no no that's the thing so i it's i got
this rum cake from a place and i had one little notch of it and i was tipsy
because i don't drink at all i was tip i was like if i went to a sporting event i could get fucked
up on cake easily any scenario you give me just one cake i could get so cake drunk i love the
idea of having a hangover from cake i absolutely would, you go to a bar and everybody's like,
everybody's drinking shots and Andrew's like,
hold on a second,
get some mouthful of cake.
I think shots would be
those little cupcakes,
those little mini ones.
He takes them.
Slamming,
slamming the paper wrapper
on the bar.
Oh man, well there you bar. Oh, man.
Well, there you go.
Thanks for listening.
Another episode of F*** Face in the Can.
Keep your eyes peeled for Does It Do?
Episodes three through seven will be out at some point in the near future.
Don't forget to check out our new fireplace video.
It is in 8K.
And if you have any issues with that, just let Eric know.
He said he's happy to help you troubleshoot.
And we released a mystery package this week and you guys bought it all up
and thank you for that i hope you uh i hope you enjoy we filled it with all kinds of stuff
there's like five or six different items in it and uh really really really appreciate y'all
supporting us by buying that and uh if you if you're so inclined to put a star next to this
podcast on on a program or even
in like a notebook at your school where you you write down stuff like on the cover and then you
write down like face and then put a little star next to like the weird s you draw on a Metallica
logo and then at lunch maybe your friends will see it and then they'll be like what's face I want to
I want to listen to that it's got a star next to it it must be pretty good so stars mean good we'll
see you next time. Hey, guys.
Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face.
It's a party at Gavin's house.
Jeff and Gavin have dead trees.
How does one wipe with no power?
Andrew got scammed.
What is man-to-man coverage?
It's spaghetti and meatballs, not spaghetti with meatballs.
More licorice.
And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil.
All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.