F**kface - Nick's Laugh Track // Stitches SZN [140]

Episode Date: February 8, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about is Gregging Nick wearing the monkey mask, Geoff's fridge and new sofa, Does It Do, Warzone, banana cleanser, dental SZN is over, Gavin's new life hack, Andrew's Gur...pler bath panic, a Warzone bathroom strategy, caffeine pill vs Zzzquil, and cake drunk. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to ffacebits@gmail.com  Sponsored by Hello Fresh http://hellofresh.com/face65 and use code face65 Better Help http://betterhelp.com/face and DraftKings Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code REGULATION to bet $5 on Super Bowl 57 and get $200 IN FREE BETS INSTANTLY.  Gambling Problem? Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (CO/IL/IN/LA/MD/MI/NJ/PA/TN/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (KS/NH), 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), visit OPGR.org (OR), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA).  21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/KS/LA(select parishes)/MD/MI/NJ/NY/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. Void in OH/ONT. Eligibility restrictions apply.   $200 in Free Bets: Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 bet. Promo code req. $200 issued as free bets that expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded. Free bets must be wagered 1x and stake is not included in any returns or winnings. Super Boost: Valid 1 Odds Boost Token per customer after opt-in each day for eligible Super Bowl LVII prop markets only. Token must be used BEFORE placing eligible bet between 6-9PM ET daily. Odds boosts and prop markets will vary. Max bet limits apply. Tokens are non-cashable, non-refundable, and cannot be withdrawn. Boost Token expire daily at 9PM ET. There are no restrictions on the funds a customer will receive if their bet wins. If their bet loses, they will not receive any reward. Offer period valid 2/6/23 - 2/11/23.  See terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com/footballterms. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma, is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics, groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics. Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation of Beastrin.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice. Your choice, that is. From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills. And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast, number 140, season something edition something volume something my name is jeff ramsey with me as always oh eric wants to ask a question uh eric you have a question in the chat
Starting point is 00:01:54 yeah yeah just real quick um alongside andrew pantin and gavin free uh we talked about having nick like in the background for this stuff. Are we doing that or not? Yeah, why not? Sure. Okay, but I mean, is he unmuting and laughing so you guys can hear him, or is he just adding it into post later? I don't know. That's a laugh post.
Starting point is 00:02:17 Like a laugh track that he peppers in, whatever he feels like. I feel like post is funnier. So you don't hear it when you record. Yeah, I see. I see. Right. That's why I'm asking just for clarification, because I feel like we never landed on it. We all just went.
Starting point is 00:02:32 That's a good idea. Let's try it. That's such an interesting question, because we could potentially have a joke that bombs. And then in the episode, Nick's cracking up. That's why I hope. Nick said in the chat that he was also confused. Okay. So episode 140 is going to be the first episode to feature Nick laughing if and when it happens.
Starting point is 00:02:53 This could also be just a dog shit episode where Nick isn't tickled by anything. We have no idea and none of us will know until we listen to the episode when you guys do. idea and none of us will know until we listen to the episode when you guys do i also like the idea of this happening with us hearing without us hearing it because he could be wearing the monkey mask and i feel like that's very laughing in the mask would be very obvious oh and the people listening will be like he's in the mask and we'll have no idea i think either way he shouldn't be near the bike it should sound like he's in the corner of the room now that we're talking about nick like he isn't here when he very clearly is nick are you wearing the monkey mask today no i'm not wearing the monkey mask today have you worn it yet not yet did we miss it okay okay so i'll make sure
Starting point is 00:03:35 so that's still going that's still going still alive we still got time that's mind-blowing that jeff used up his guess on this one that's fine does he only get one i don't know i think to this i don't remember the i think it's more interesting Does he only get one? I just want to know. Were there rules to this? I don't remember the rules. I think it's more interesting if we only get one guess until everyone is guessed and then we get all the lights back.
Starting point is 00:03:51 I like that you come up with this rule after I guess. What in the motherfucking heck, dude? From now. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Gavin, no, Gavin, I'm with you. It doesn't make sense because then we could just say it every episode. Yeah, there's going to be some limit. Yeah. First of all, I agree with you. Second of make sense because then we could just say it every episode there would have to be a limit first of all I agree with you second
Starting point is 00:04:07 of all you just absolutely Gregged it you Gregged it when I went back when I did the Jeopardy rules but didn't vocalize if that's how it was in my head you can't just add rules after they played you can't do that I think Jeff gets one more guess but going forward you get one guess until
Starting point is 00:04:24 everybody guesses okay that's fair uh nick wants to know nick very quietly in the chat wants to know when he has until uh do you guys remember i don't remember i think maybe the rest of this year let's say by the end of this year yeah okay calendar year all right it's pretty uh it's pretty open for january end of 2023 okay got it that's now i know we had settled on something before but now that's the official rule end of 2023 everybody gets one guest from this point on realistically we're gonna forget this and i think this would be really funny if we remember in like seven months and he did it four months prior like it's already over by the time we were always
Starting point is 00:05:01 there's just a bunch of really muffled laughs for one episode and we don't... That's what I want. I'd love to have that. I'm not suggesting... Actually, I hope you don't do this, but this would be a really funny time for you to put that mask on. Because nobody's going to ask you
Starting point is 00:05:14 for the rest of the episode, I guarantee you. It has to start at the beginning. I agree. You can't do it in the middle. Another rule. Okay. It's got to have it on
Starting point is 00:05:23 at the beginning of the show from when I do the intro. Everybody gets one guess. Okay. It's got to have it on at the beginning of the show from when I do the intro. Everybody gets one guess. 2023. And if Nick sneaks it past us, what does he win? I don't remember. Does he get anything?
Starting point is 00:05:35 Nick, what did you win? I don't think we ever came up with it. I don't think we did. We'll give him a 100% chocolate. I got a... Oh, that's nice. 100% chocolate. I have a giant pink porta potty I could give you. That's a great Oh, that's nice. 100% chocolate. I have a giant pink port-a-potty
Starting point is 00:05:46 I could give you. That's a great gift. You have to deliver it home yourself, but you're more than welcome to it. I will say, and this is maybe leading into the first topic of today that I want to know about.
Starting point is 00:05:56 You got a fridge. I did have the thought the day that you were getting your fridge, I should have sent you a fridge as well. I missed out on a huge opportunity. I don't know if I would have went with the fridge as well. I missed out on a huge opportunity. I don't know if I would have went with the tiniest fridge I could find or like a big cheap one. Maybe. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:06:11 But I had the thought. Phenomenal. I needed to send you. I missed out. That's a very funny idea. I do indeed have a new fridge. And it's funny you say that as well, because Aaronaron romero in in uh ecom was like he made a joke he was like i guess we need a fridge magnet now that jeff's got a new fridge and i thought
Starting point is 00:06:31 what would a fridge magnet what would our fridge magnet be and i thought the funniest thing we could do is make a fridge magnet of my fridge and i thought well that's probably been done one million times so i googled it i my knowledge, there does not exist a fridge magnet of a fridge. You can find one anywhere on the Internet. So there has to be a whole picture, a hole in that market for their fridge or even just a drawing of a fridge on a fridge. It just doesn't exist. You can't do it.
Starting point is 00:07:02 It's not out there. Nick wants to see your fridge. I don't have a picture of it. Let me, I thought, well, maybe I do, Nick.
Starting point is 00:07:08 Well, maybe I do. Let me look. Let me look. All right. He did an Instagram live yesterday where the fridge was heavily free featured. Oh,
Starting point is 00:07:16 did he? Yes. Here's what I can do. I can send you guys. I'm going to send you guys a picture there. Okay. Okay. I got this.
Starting point is 00:07:24 All right. Please don't be too powerful. I got distracted with I should have prepped this already. I got distracted with other photos, I'll be honest with you. So much has happened in my life in the last couple days I forgot about the fridge. Here is me in the fridge hole.
Starting point is 00:07:41 That's a big hole. Yeah, I agree. I agree. It takes a very specific, very expensive fridge. Here's Whoa. That's a big hole. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Takes a very specific, very expensive fridge. Here's one. Here's me. This is better.
Starting point is 00:07:50 This is me flexing in the fridge hole. Oh, did you do a little Sam Fisher in there to prop yourself between the walls? No, I didn't think to do that.
Starting point is 00:07:58 If I'd have tried that, I would have knocked both of those shelves out. You would have gone through the cupboards. I'd have a fridge and no shelves. And here is a fully installed, fully functioning fridge.
Starting point is 00:08:10 I'll be honest. Whenever you have a big problem in your life, like the shelves going up, you know, or a fridge coming in, it's always so funny. And then I see the final result and it's just beautiful. Look at that thing. It's a beautiful fridge. Yeah, I'm very lucky.
Starting point is 00:08:22 And I got to say, zero problems. I was so ready for things to go so wrong. Look at that thing. It's a beautiful fridge. Yeah, I'm very lucky. And I got to say, zero problems. I was so ready for things to go so wrong. It looked like things were headed in a bad direction because when they pulled the fridge out and they tried to tip it over, the fridge was too tall for my kitchen. Like they couldn't tip it over because it was hitting the ceiling.
Starting point is 00:08:39 But they figured out they could take some parts off. And then we had to like slide it into the living room, which has a slightly taller ceiling. And then they were able to tip it there. That was the closest thing. And then we had to slide it into the living room, which has a slightly taller ceiling, and then they were able to tip it there. That was the closest thing to a problem we had. In and out, probably took them an hour and a half. Lovely dudes. And the lights work in the freezer and the fridge part.
Starting point is 00:08:55 It has a water dispenser, and it makes non-rusty ice. It does everything you could ever hope a fridge can do. So the dispenser's on the inside? Yeah, it's on the inside, like on the side wall.enser's on the inside? Yeah, it's on the inside, like on the side wall. Yeah, it's pretty cool. It actually,
Starting point is 00:09:11 there's a learning curve to it. You have to remove your cup in the right way or you will shoot water across the fridge. That just sounds fun. It's like a bonus. That's a ridiculously large, like it just looks sturdy. It's like a bonus. That's a ridiculously large, like it just,
Starting point is 00:09:25 it looks sturdy. It looks thick. Like if, like if Indiana Jones would have climbed into that fridge when the nuke went off, that would have felt believable.
Starting point is 00:09:35 That feels like, if a tank shoots that fridge, I don't think it does anything to that fridge. Dude, it just looks stainless. I could, I could easily,
Starting point is 00:09:43 comfortably fit in that fridge. It's so, it's so, even though it fits the exact same footprint of the other fridge, it's way, way, way roomier for some reason. And the only way I could even think of improving this fridge as I'm looking at it right now is if it had a magnet of itself on it. It's the front door magnetic.
Starting point is 00:10:01 I have no idea. Probably not. Because mine isn't. I tried to put a magnet and it fell off. My last one wasn't either. I have a feeling that if we were to buy a fridge magnet of my fridge for my fridge, it would never work. Maybe you could come with an adhesive to stick your fridge magnet to the fridge.
Starting point is 00:10:17 Like fridge magnet tape. What about a fridge magnet sticker? Like a sticker of a fridge magnet? Yeah. sticker like a sticker of a fridge magnet yeah you want people to stick a sticker on their refrigerators well if the magnet doesn't work what are they gonna do you gotta provide alternate solutions we're about solving problems here do you think there are more fridges that can't that like you can't stick a magnet to or more fridges that you can stick a magnet to i think we just give people the option.
Starting point is 00:10:45 We sell a fridge magnet and a fridge magnet sticker depending on the magneticness of their door. Maybe they just come together. Yeah, it's a bundle deal. It's a bundle. Okay. And it's a magnet or a sticker of Jeff's fridge? I guess.
Starting point is 00:11:00 It seems to be where we're going. I mean, it's a beautiful fridge. I was kind of against it initially, but that is a great looking fridge Why were you against my fridge? No I'm not against your fridge I was against the idea of a fridge magnet that looked like a fridge In my head it was funny but I didn't know it was great
Starting point is 00:11:14 But it's a beautiful looking fridge You think it was like a 5 out of 10 idea? I'm not saying it was a bad idea necessarily I just didn't pop in my head immediately Like some of the other things we've talked about before But I'm on board. Am I right in thinking that this fridge is a month early?
Starting point is 00:11:30 Yeah, you are. You're supposed to be there in February. You got it a month early. It's conspicuously early. Interesting, like I was last week, I was sitting around the house and I was kind of just like, it just popped into my head and I thought, I'm about a month out of getting that fridge. And I started getting nervous. I was like, you know, that just popped into my head and I thought, I'm about a month out of getting that fridge and I started getting nervous.
Starting point is 00:11:46 I was like, you know, that was a lot of money. I haven't spoken to these people in like 10 months. Let me call them and just make sure there are no problems.
Starting point is 00:11:53 Like this is the moment I'll find out that my fridge fell off of a boat in the ocean or whatever, right? And it's like, yeah, you got a fridge but it's at the bottom
Starting point is 00:12:02 of the Pacific Ocean and we don't know how to get it up or whatever. And Harrison Ford's inside it. Yeah, you got a fridge but it's at the bottom of the pacific ocean and we don't know how to get it up uh or whatever and harrison ford's inside it yeah and harrison ford's inside it um and so i called them and when i called the lady remembered me easily like instantly she was like she was like oh i remember you yeah you bought the so-and-so fridge and i was like yes ma'am i did she's a little older and she was like i was just thinking of you and i was like oh i'm thinking of my fridge right now and she was like did i she was like i was just thinking of you and i was like oh i'm thinking of my fridge right now and she was like did i she's like i was gonna call you it just came in yesterday i was like are you
Starting point is 00:12:29 serious she was like i'm just i'm i was just sitting here thinking about letting you know so i for all i know the fridge has been there for six months and they just didn't i just weird saying you got a fridge early that you waited two years for like that doesn't a year like i understand what you're saying no i guess i did wait two years for. A year. I understand what you're saying. I guess I did wait two years for it. It felt endless, your wait for it. For it to show up a month early doesn't feel like early. It's wild also that it was
Starting point is 00:12:54 such a big thing for so long and now it's in and it works and I don't think about it. I will say when I come home every night, whenever I come home, I say hi to the fridge because I don't have a dog to say hi to anymore. But other than that, it's just part of life now. It's just home I say hi to the fridge because I don't have a dog to say hi to anymore but other than that it's just like I just it's just like a just part of life now it's just like I've always had this fridge
Starting point is 00:13:09 it was very sad but we just yeah we just passed through I was hit with sadness and it was also like equally funny and it just cancelled out to be like a I really wanted to laugh or did you just say what's up fridge I say hello fridge okay yeah I haven the fridge have a name? I don't really want it to laugh. Or did you just say, what's up, fridge? I say hello, fridge. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:27 Yeah, I haven't given it a name. That seems weird. I mean... Saying hello to it in replacement of a dog. I mean, you're already in a weird territory. As much money as I spend on that fridge, I should be able to say hello to it as much as I want to. It should say hello back. Yeah, it should.
Starting point is 00:13:44 I need to know if you've put a new Cosmic Crispin, because that's, I feel like, the real test of differences between fridges. Have you got a new one in there for a year from now? I did, and I filmed a video of it. Oh, you did? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I filmed a video. I definitely, I put one in there that day.
Starting point is 00:13:59 I think I filmed a video doing it, but I put the, but I have the apple in. I can send you that. No, not in a bag, right? No, not in a bag, just out on its own uh i don't know if i took a photo of that or if i just the video um yeah i don't seem to have a photo of it but uh but i can take one it just oh it's fine i'll say the last thing before we move on for fridges unless you have more more to talk about no i didn't even didn't even mean to talk about the fridge you brought it up i'm not
Starting point is 00:14:24 well i was curious because it was a big deal we're all excited and because it's you and no disrespect to you jeff we expected your house to somehow burn down in the process of you getting a fridge everything goes wrong always as did i yes but if you have to move the fridge for some reason you have the hole if you could duplicate the pose from the Jet Li black mask poster, that would make me really happy. That's my one request. If you could do that. If you could do legs both sides and cool action pose, I'd love that.
Starting point is 00:14:53 I'll do that. Yeah, that's the Sam Fisher thing. Yeah, I'll do that, and then I'll send you the picture with just my shins going into two pieces of wood, and then the cabinet doors open and my feet dangling on the insides. into two pieces of wood and then the cabinet doors open and my feet dangling on the inside. Me not being able to get out
Starting point is 00:15:10 and crying. That'd be great. You just make me want it more. I can't wait for this. So what's the next thing now? Have you got anything else that's waiting to arrive or are you just going to wait for the next thing to break? Oh, well I do have a funny
Starting point is 00:15:25 story that i haven't told you guys yet um boy we are getting off on tan we have a lot to talk about today we have to talk about does it do but uh but first i did buy a new sofa uh i don't know if i told you guys but like uh you know henry uh sweet sweet henry he he lost his bladder control at the end there and so he peed on the sofa a lot. And he had sweet little happy, clean pee. It wasn't terrible. And I cleaned it up every day. But my sofa cushions were in my front yard for about six months straight in the daytime
Starting point is 00:15:57 in the sun, just being cleaned and vacuumed out almost every day. And so we wanted to get a new sofa. But we thought, well, we'll just wait till the dogs go because there's no point. And so when Henry, uh, when Henry went to, uh, puppy,
Starting point is 00:16:11 puppy dog heaven, a couple, like about a month later, we went and we, uh, decided like now it's time to buy the sofa. It'll probably take forever to get in if the fridge is any indication. So let's go buy a sofa.
Starting point is 00:16:21 So we went and bought a sofa at this place in the domain called Interior Define. Bought a just a nice sofa. And they said, you'll have it in May. We're like, that fucking sucks. So but three months after we get the fridge, we'll get a sofa. At least we're on the clock now, you know. Are they owned by Blilliams Flanoma? No, I don't think so uh but they
Starting point is 00:16:46 are owned by somebody else because not too long after we ordered the sofa and they told us they were very clear this isn't coming until may we got in a letter like a form email from them that was like we are so sorry about the delays with your sofa uh and they could tell it was like sent to a lot of people and they're like we are doing everything in our power to get it to you on time. And we're like, yeah, well, you told us may it's fucking December.
Starting point is 00:17:08 What do we care? Then Emily saw a Reddit thread about people not getting sofas from a company. They bought, turns out this interior defined company went bankrupt right after we bought this fucking sofa. Oh no. And, uh, nobody's getting their sofas so then we're like in limbo we're like in sofa limbo then they release a statement recently that was like listen want to let you guys know every single sofa purchased after december 16th 2022
Starting point is 00:17:41 will be delivered and i I'm like, cool. We bought our sofa in November. What does that mean? I think it means we are fucked and we might have to like enter into some class action lawsuit to get our fucking money back because they went bankrupt and got bought by another company.
Starting point is 00:17:58 And now this other company is determining if they're even going to continue making these products or what to do with it or dismantle the company. So anyway, I'm in this weird, uh, I'm in this weird holding pattern where I bought a sofa for 2,400 bucks or whatever, uh, that I don't know if I have or will ever get. Nobody can tell me yes for sure. Nobody can tell me no for sure. Nobody can tell me much of anything. Uh, honestly, everything I read is conflicting and I don't really have extra money to throw out and buy another sofa.
Starting point is 00:18:26 I also don't want to buy another sofa so that in May, this sofa shows up and suddenly I got extra sofa problems. I also don't want to sit around and wait until May for this sofa not to show up to then begin the sofa buying process. I also don't want to pop down another two grand on a sofa when I'm already out two grand on the first sofa. I'd like to get
Starting point is 00:18:41 the money back, so I don't know what the fuck to do. We're having this, it's like SofaGate. I don't know what the fuck to do. We're having this, it's like sofa gate. I don't know what to do about sofa. Very confused right now. What happens if you charge back a credit card payment to a company that doesn't exist anymore? I don't know. Some people had been trying that and
Starting point is 00:18:58 had limited success and other people had no success. And so that is something that I might do is talk to the bank and just see if I can issue a charge back uh but it sounds like it's uh because of the the length of time and stuff and i don't know we'll see i'm gonna get i'm gonna get it so i will have a sofa someday i don't know if i'm gonna have the sofa i bought i don't know if the people that i bought it from are gonna make it or the people that bought them are gonna make it uh or what but someday i will have another sofa what you you don't have, for some reason
Starting point is 00:19:26 I thought you had the sofa and this was just part of the journey of you getting it. You never received. I thought you have a sofa. No, I'm supposed to get it in May. I don't know why my brain thought that you had a sofa. For some reason I just decided you had one and you were telling us
Starting point is 00:19:41 about the process. Just real quick, other people on this podcast, he's insane? No, I totally want to make sure. It sounds like it. I mean, I just don't know how you could listen to all of that and be like, so glad you got your sofa, man.
Starting point is 00:19:58 Not only was I, I was so lost in the woods. I was, while you were saying the story, Jeff, I thought, well, you shouldn't have said you already got the sofa at the beginning because this really takes the wind out of this it's so sales it doesn't there was a whole bit about how the quote was that it may show up in may and now and now it may not but i thought he somehow got it i think because he got the fridge early i somehow connected that the sofa came early i like i don't know for some reason my head i don't know what happened there i think I spaced
Starting point is 00:20:25 out for a minute and I just changed what you were saying and then I was under the belief of what I thought and not anything you it's that made no sense I apologize it's totally fine so I don't I don't listen to half the stuff y'all say it's totally fine I get it I kept saying I was sitting on you kept using that as like a phrase and And I was like, you're not sitting on anything. It sounds like you're waiting on that sofa. Maybe that's where I got lost. I am waiting on this fucking sofa or somebody tell me. Send you a sofa.
Starting point is 00:20:53 Is that what we're going to do? Is this a problem? I don't know. I don't know. I really I don't know where to go from here. I think Emily and I are going to try to solve it this weekend. I don't know if I need to go out and buy a new sofa, although I'm saving up for a wedding this year. I don't have a ton of extra money to throw around.
Starting point is 00:21:08 I don't know if I like none of my emails are getting responded to by this company. So I just I just don't know. Hands are in the air right now. I'm I'm one of the apparently millions of people across America who bought interior-defined products and are kind of fucked. So we'll see. It's crazy that with all that sofa money coming in, they still went under. Yeah, I know, right? It's like, I know they were getting some money in because I gave them a healthy check.
Starting point is 00:21:36 I wonder when they folded. Like, what the distance was between you making that purchase and when they went out, when they lost all their money. It was like weeks pretty it was like weeks weeks it was like weeks that's crazy yeah it was pretty insane filming session the other day didn't we
Starting point is 00:21:55 we did we had a little filming session the other day and man I gotta say so we filmed the first two episodes of does it do back to back on the same day kind of as a test uh a lot it feels like forever ago but eric was it like maybe september or october yeah i think i think it was more like august but yeah something like that and it was phenomenal i had a lot of fun gab i think you did too um and we really liked it we put those two episodes out. Then we had to go on hiatus for a while. And in that process, we had a meeting to talk it is to, to come up with funny stuff on the fly,
Starting point is 00:22:45 but preparation is key because you need ingredients and, and things to do, uh, with these products. And so we had a really, really, really, really good,
Starting point is 00:22:54 uh, planning session. Gavin, not Gavin was in there. Sorry, Eric and Andrew and I, and we wrote down a bunch of stuff, came up with a bunch of awesome ideas to round out the final six episodes for
Starting point is 00:23:04 those products. And I was like more excited than ever to film it. And then we didn't film it until yesterday. And so all of those ideas just went away. Like they're on a spreadsheet that Eric showed me. But, you know, after a while, you lose connection to all of that. Right. And so I went back to not wanting to record. I wanted to make it less now than ever before, because now I just looked at a bunch of props that I didn't know what to
Starting point is 00:23:26 do with. And we were talking about how face seems to happen in all these different phases. And we go like all in and then we do it. And then we're straight onto the next thing. And it felt like, does it do was very like last phase or a couple of phases ago. So we were both just like,
Starting point is 00:23:39 wow, I'm just feeling rusty and like, I couldn't remember any, like Jeff was just stood over a bunch of buckets of stuff. Like what, what's this? What are we doing? What's this for?
Starting point is 00:23:49 Because Eric wasn't there. Tyler was like, I don't know. I mean, it was on the list. Yeah. Tyler was producing it and he did a phenomenal job, but he was only able to do, he was only able to do what we gave him.
Starting point is 00:23:58 Right. So we didn't, so we're like, here's the stuff to buy. He goes out and he buys it, but he doesn't know what we're planning to do with it. And so Gavin's right. He kept referring to it as a production from two phases ago,
Starting point is 00:24:07 and it totally felt like that. But then I walked around RT, and I just started grabbing shit that looked funny and kind of cobbled together a rough idea. I don't think any of it was as good as maybe the stuff that we came up with that day, Andrew, that is just lost to the annals of time. But then we sat, we got in front of the
Starting point is 00:24:27 camera and I, I'll be honest with you guys. I have hit a point where I want to appear on camera less often, way less often. Uh, I really, really into doing the audio podcast. I really love that. Uh, I've even resisted turning this into a video podcast. I just don't want to be on video anymore. I don't know what it is. It's just a phase in my life. I'm just over it. And so I was kind of not jazzed about that as well. And then the second we got started, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:24:53 It was like a light switch turned on, and it became... No, it wasn't a light switch. It was a fun switch turned on, and it became instantly the most fun I have ever had in my entire life. And I don't think that's hyperbole, Gavin. What do you think?
Starting point is 00:25:06 Yeah, it went from something that we were talking about before of just like, you weren't that into it. And I was like, why don't we just not do it? It's not too late. We could just not bother and just say that it was only two episodes. And then we finished episode one of that shoot. And we were like, okay, so how do we make like 25 more of these? This is the first fun show.
Starting point is 00:25:26 Gavin at one point turned to me and he said how do we only do this for the rest of our lives and i was like i don't know dude but i'm right there with you i just it was i have never had more fun and each episode was more fun and i think better than the previous one like we were just like building this head of steam and just getting funnier and better as we went. And I think one of the, it's going to be cool for the season when people watch it. Well, at least the,
Starting point is 00:25:52 it was supposed to be six episodes. It's five. I guess we'll explain that. Uh, I think, I think we might be able to get this. Well, we'll see if we can get the sixth.
Starting point is 00:26:00 Well, it might be five and a half episodes. We got five. Uh, well, we'll see. Yeah. Five and a half, five, five, five episodes in the beginning of got five uh well we'll see yeah five and a half
Starting point is 00:26:05 five five episodes in the beginning of a sixth episode we'll see uh uh fuck i forgot what i was where i was going with this i got lost in my head in my head as the as the episodes progress you guys show progression on what you're wearing etc you are absolutely that's exactly where i was going with this er Eric. Thank you. This old dumb brain is getting dumber. I think it'll be fun for the audience to see us becoming increasingly disheveled and gross because it was one of the grossest things
Starting point is 00:26:36 I've ever participated in. I threw up a couple times. Gavin threw up a couple times. That was a bit where we were making, it was one of the later ones we were making it and I threw up and couple times. There was a bit where we were making... It was one of the later ones. We were making it, and I threw up. I just thought, man, this one is just way too gross. We might not be able to put this one out.
Starting point is 00:26:52 And then the next one we filmed, we definitely can't put out. So that means we have to put out the gross one. Wait. How many did you film? How many were shot? We shot five and a half. Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:04 You filmed five and a half episodes that day yeah seriously oh my god i wasn't sure if you guys got past one based up so i haven't i've been avoiding any information about this because i wanted to hear about on the show but i have seen a few photos and the photos i've seen there's noodles all over a desk for some reason jeff is covered in pink shit for some reason like an explosion clearly happened i think something got launched into a wall at some point from what i can tell i can't decipher what happened there and then i've i've heard other things that were alarming that made me think that that's there might even be a physical injury of some kind well i should i go to the beginning of that where where we were david you and i were supposed to
Starting point is 00:27:53 play war zone on tuesday when did you guys film that tuesday doesn't matter anyway tuesday we're supposed to play uh towards thezo Tuesday yeah and I texted a follow up being like hey we still doing this and you didn't reply and then Jeff texted me if I had heard anything about does it do and I explained that no I was waiting because it seems crazy what I've seen I've got a lot of questions about it
Starting point is 00:28:18 and also Gavin's ditched me and then Jeff brought up that he felt he was ditched because we play the three of us played on Friday had one of the best times I've had playing games in a long time. It was great. It was so much fun. Same. Then then Gavin and I played Saturday.
Starting point is 00:28:34 Jeff was not part of that. So Jeff felt ditched. I wasn't invited to play. I said, let's play again this weekend. And I said, absolutely. I definitely want to play with you guys this weekend. I'm very excited. Let's play play and then I never exact words and fairness to Gavin who scheduled this
Starting point is 00:28:50 your response was I'm available this weekend and every day until the end of time you gave a very large availability window just because like I think there's really I should point out I invited Jeff to tonight's potential session and he's busy
Starting point is 00:29:04 one night I'm going out to a should point out, I invited Jeff to tonight's potential session and he's busy. That's fair. The one night I'm going out to a comedy show that my friend invited me to. Well, anyway, Jeff and I were going back and forth and I said, I think Gavin's ignoring me. I think he's ditched me again. He's not replying to my things.
Starting point is 00:29:17 He said he'd do this. Jeff said he felt ditched. I said, do you want to play Warzone right now? And we could figure out why Gavin hates us. We could just play, you and I. It wasn't supposed to happen. And then Jeff at first was, yes, or it was tomorrow. I said, reschedule for tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:29:31 And Jeff said, yeah. And then he changed his tune to actually, no, wait, I might, something happened that doesn't do, I might not physically be capable of playing video games for a while. I'll need to get back to you on that one. What happened? I think I'm off games for a few days I'll need to get back to you on that one. What happened? I think I'm off games for a few days.
Starting point is 00:29:48 For a few more days. You should post that picture, Jeff. Was that the last episode you filmed? When did this happen? Yeah, episode six. Here, I'm going to look for this photo. Gav, you fill in for me. I got to go back through your text to find it.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Was it obvious whatever happened, Gavin, that he had like a legit injury, potentially? When the moment happened? Alright, here we go. I got it. I'm trying to... I gave you a way to fill and you just ignored it. He's not helping at all. Okay.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Jeff just posted a photo. It's like is that blood or ketchup? That blood? What do you think? That's blood. That's a little bit of a lot of blood. Okay, so it's like a it looks almost like cake flour or like
Starting point is 00:30:37 chips of some kind. I'll be honest with you. It might be banana. I don't know. It kind of does look like a banana chip. It's banana, yeah. I will say I discovered a new use for bananas, and I think Gavin did too, that is a phenomenal
Starting point is 00:30:53 use for bananas. Bananas are the ultimate palate cleanser. It's Bovril Cancela. It's salad dressing cancela. When you make a frozen salad dressing popsicle, or you try to mix instant coffee in your mouth, you need a banana immediately after.
Starting point is 00:31:16 I came home after that shooting day, not very hungry for dinner. And I was like, that's so weird. I didn't even eat lunch. And I remember I probably ate like four bananas. Dude, I was so fucking, I mean,
Starting point is 00:31:28 I was, I was nauseous for a couple of reasons after that, but I think a lot of it was just what we put in us. And I didn't even, I didn't even like, I don't know, man, I was so into it.
Starting point is 00:31:38 I didn't even care. I could have put, I would have put mayonnaise in my mouth that time. I would have put avocado. It wouldn't have mattered. I would have eaten sour cream. It, uh, I would have put avocado. It wouldn't have mattered. I would have eaten sour cream. I was so in the zone filming with you. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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Starting point is 00:36:05 So the last episode, we filmed like products. I'll preview some of the products we filmed. I think the first thing we filmed with was a thing called the SpinChill, which is a... Okay, yeah. It's a... Yeah, you... Actually, you looked at the products. That's right, in that meeting, Andrew.
Starting point is 00:36:24 Well, that product, the spin shill no longer exists. So we had to buy like the new modified version of it, which is basically you put it into a drill bit into a drill and then it's got the rubber thing on the top. So you just have a soda on a drill. Okay. So we, we filmed that episode. We had this thing called the garlic master. Uh, we had these, uh these shoes that you slide on carpet with
Starting point is 00:36:46 that we filmed. It turned out to be a phenomenon. That was the episode I had the least planned for that turned out to be the best, I think. It was just like this wackier, wackier shit. The last one we had was a product called the Tack Shaver. It's a tactical shaver. You're supposed to be able to shave on the go.
Starting point is 00:37:04 The dude in the trailer, it's a Bell & Howell product, so it's all tactical shaver. So you're supposed to be able to shave on the go. And like the dude in the trailer, it's a Bell and Howell product. So it's all like fake military shit. Like they have like a tactical flashlight and like, you know, like tactical shoelaces and like stuff that doesn't need to be tactical. But but they do it anyway. Right. Like tack fork. So this tack shaver is fucking stupid, but it's like a little mini like face shaver. uh so this tag shaver is fucking stupid but it's like a little mini uh like face shaver and it supposedly works underwater for the like nick said for the tactical man on the go like if you find
Starting point is 00:37:31 yourself at the bottom of a swimming pool and with five o'clock shadow you can shave under in the bottom of the pool if you want to so one of the ideas that we had was to submerge ourselves and then try to shave underwater. We didn't have a swimming pool in the budget. So I asked for like a, uh, like a 10 or 20 gallon aquarium that I thought might work. And they, they weren't able to acquire that,
Starting point is 00:37:56 but they did get this giant fish bowl that was like fucking big. And I picked it up and I put my head on it very easily. And I was like, Oh, this works. Uh, yeah, like a punch bowl, fish bowl, whatever. Uh, and I was like oh this works yeah like a punch bowl fish bowl whatever and I was like yeah this is perfect and so we're filming we're doing all the stuff we're racing the clock because
Starting point is 00:38:11 Gavin has a hard out at five and we're you know we started at two we were like we're just fucking cranking through these episodes we have like 20 minutes to film this entire episode and they're like we probably should shut down and I was like no we can get Gavin no we can get through this because we're not going to get and it's because the actual shooting of the episode bit was really short it was all the
Starting point is 00:38:32 cleanup in between the episodes that was taking the time but we could like rattle through an episode in like 10-15 minutes yeah they're designed to be quick and we're like just don't clean up we just won't clean up and then we i want the set to look progressively shittier as the season goes on anyway uh and boy will it because we did want the set to look progressively shittier as the season goes on anyway and boy will it because we did some terrible stuff to that place and so we fill this punch bowl up I look up we got like nine minutes to
Starting point is 00:38:54 go Gavin tries to put his head in the water he's gonna shave he's tries to put his head in just like dunk his head in and then we have the razor in the bottom and just like grab it and try to shave underwater and I mean I don't mean this to be funny but Gavin Gavin's head wouldn't fit in the bottom and just like grab it and try to shave underwater and I mean I don't mean this to be funny but Gavin Gavin's head wouldn't fit in the bowl
Starting point is 00:39:09 because his nose was too big it was like my my nose bone was the point of failure I just couldn't I should have angled my head but it just kept smacking into my damn big nose and so I was like, fuck it.
Starting point is 00:39:26 I'll do it. I went from having the best time of my life to the emergency room in 30 seconds. Oh my God. I stick my head in. I put like a shower cap on. I stick my head in. I put my hand in to get the razor
Starting point is 00:39:44 and suddenly I hear a crack and 10 gallons of water fall onto the ground along with about a gallon of my blood. I look up. Oh my God. The bowl just shattered
Starting point is 00:39:56 and it sliced open two of my fingers on my left hand and pretty fucking deep. And so I had to go to the emergency room for the first time in almost 20 years. I had to of rooster teeth filming. I got I had to go to the emergency room and that is what my hand looks like today. I got five stitches.
Starting point is 00:40:22 That was very deep. Yeah, my pinky cut. God, it cut to my bone so you can like they had the pinky was a little tough and it cut like about half the circumference of my or the diameter of my pinky is cut in like like a half circle around my pinky and then the really deep puncture one is uh on my my ring finger there and i guess it's because you were lent over it so that when it gave way you kind of fell onto where it was so it's actually really lucky it didn't you know nick the old jugular but uh your hands went down to protect your head and then straight into the glass i assume i assume so yeah it just all happened so fast and so um you know i don't think anyone has ever
Starting point is 00:41:02 bled more from the hands on different occasions than you at this point. Oh my God, I know, right? I'm sitting there getting stitches, and the guy's like, you ever had stitches before? And I'm like, yeah, three fingers over on my thumb. It was a giant scar. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:41:16 So, yeah, so I have stitches. I realized something troubling when I was in the ER. I was like, are these dissolvable? And they're like, nah, you got to come back in 10 days to get the stitches pulled out. And I'm like, God damn it. And then I realized I am out of my dental phase. Like my dental season is over, I think. Now I'm in stitches season.
Starting point is 00:41:36 I had stitches in my balls last summer for the vasectomy. I had stitches in my mouth like two months ago. And now I have stitches in my hand. I've only had stitches in my body three times in the last 20 years, probably, and all three times have been in the last six months. I don't want to be in stitches season. I don't want this season to continue. I'm putting that out there to the universe.
Starting point is 00:41:59 No more stitches. It fucking sucks. They fucking hurt. Oh, my God. They fucking hurt. Oh my God. They have to numb up the cut. Do you know how they do that? They take a giant needle full of lidocaine
Starting point is 00:42:13 and they jab it into the wound 20 fucking times. I just sat there. The stitches didn't hurt at all because I was already numbed up because they jabbed the needle full of lidocaine into the wound over and over again. And the
Starting point is 00:42:28 guy's like, I'm really sorry. This part, this is the really rough part. I'm like, yeah, I felt I'm pretty sure he pierced my fucking pinky bone. It hurts so bad. Oh my God. Oh man, that sucked. I just couldn't, I couldn't believe it. And then we were trying to like quickly just
Starting point is 00:42:44 like do the outro to the video just be like well i didn't work let's do it and then jeff was like yeah let's just do it real quick and then and i was like yeah okay and then suddenly it was just like oh maybe we shouldn't because that was just blood it just the blood was just so fast we couldn't couldn't get it to stop oh my god but luckily you know roosty's very close to an emergency room and uh they were uh those people were great and there was i did run Street's very close to an emergency room, and those people were great. I did run into a community member in the emergency room who asked me for a photo. I was sitting there with Tyler in a chair in the waiting room with just a pile of rags on my hand and blood everywhere.
Starting point is 00:43:21 And I was like, yeah, if you don't mind a bloody hand. And he's like, no, I don't care. And I was like, okay. So we took a photo a bloody hand he's like no i don't care i was like okay so we took a photo with some dude we we just like what what are you in for to each other he was like he was he wasn't even there for anything he was delivering something uh is that the most substantial injury you've received on a production oh easily i think it might be the only real injury i've ever received on a production that i can remember uh that's crazy for for as much as there's an injury and everything i talked with shane who's like our production manager our head of all of our like studio production uh he had nothing but good things to say about this he's like i hope that we can keep doing these even
Starting point is 00:44:02 though jeff almost lost a finger i really love does it do and I didn't care how messy it was that was a crazy shoot that seemed like an insane shoot to be capped off by those cuts that's wild dude here's what I'll say it was so
Starting point is 00:44:19 good and so much fun and I'm so proud of the shit we made in the first five episodes that the stitches and the cut don't bother me at all. I'm not mad at all. It was a dumb price to pay that I
Starting point is 00:44:36 don't particularly want to pay, but if that's the price to pay, I'm happy to pay it because those episodes are so fucking fun to make. I hope it translates. I hope the audience likes it. I hope it's so successful that we get to do more of it because I agree with what Gavin said in the moment, and I hope you still do, Gav. I want to do that always.
Starting point is 00:44:56 That is the most fucking fun I've... Maybe it's something that we could just do like five a year or something. Yeah. I mean, we just need to get together for... We can film a season in a day easily, and then you just do like like five a year or something yeah i mean we just need to get together for we can we can film a season in a day easily and then you just do like two seasons a year or something because we've yet to do a shoot day where one of us didn't get hurt i mean i wasn't hurt as badly as you were but still that's two for two that's true that's a great point that is true oh we'll get progressively safer as it goes i think the biggest limiter for does it do is just going to be finding the
Starting point is 00:45:25 products because interestingly enough, Andrew, from when we had that big meeting where we came up with all the ideas for the products, uh, to when we filmed just yesterday, two of those products went out of stock and disappeared off the internet, not on eBay,
Starting point is 00:45:38 not on use sites. Not a shock. So it's like we, we lost and had to find quick replacements for two of the things. So it's just like, there's just not that much out there that's really great to work with. Yeah, maybe we should just buy throughout the year and then when we have enough, just film a session. I think so too.
Starting point is 00:45:54 Because I think that the real limiter is just going to be finding the products to investigate. You think the limiter is that? I think the limiter is one of you getting hurt from the sounds of it. Like that's when it ends almost. i see a world where you film as many episodes until you have to be rushed to the er or gavin somehow breaks every bone in his body while not breaking anything simultaneously there's 100 injury rate on the filming of this show yeah for both there
Starting point is 00:46:21 is that is a good point that is a good point. That is a good point. I also like, I've been doing production for 19 and a half years, 20 years now. Dumb, jackass style production. I made it almost 20 years without having to go to the ER. I think that's a really, really good, that's a really good run.
Starting point is 00:46:38 Like, I can't complain about that, you know? No, that's great. I've done one that resulted in the emergency room. Like, I remember you cut your knee that time right on a slow-mo shoot gav yeah i got hit with a bit of shrapnel and it was uh too gruesome to put in the episode which is double sad it is because you lose the footage too right
Starting point is 00:46:55 i the thing that would is good that bummed me i was thinking about in the emergency room when i was waiting the thing that bummed me out the most is i felt like in episode six, the one that we're going to lose, the tax shaver, I nailed the intro. That was the best intro. I nailed the fucking intro. While I was doing it, I was like, holy shit, this is a good intro I'm doing. I want to go back and redo the other intros, but I can't
Starting point is 00:47:18 because I'm covered in bananas and shit. This is a great intro. And then just fucking, yeah. Well, maybe we can show it one day at like an event or something where it's not great intro. And then just fucking, yeah. Well, maybe we can show it one day at like an event or something where it's not put online. Yeah, maybe. I mean, we'll definitely go back
Starting point is 00:47:30 and redo the tax driver because we have a couple of minutes too funny not to. We'll just, you know, work with acrylic next time and stay away from glass. There'll be a no glass set from here on out.
Starting point is 00:47:38 That's for sure. That's exciting. I have no idea what that will look like, but I know it's going to be great and I do like that we've established I feel like those do need to be shot in one sequence I think the progression of the set and just the mess that is caused by these things have to be consistent totally agree yeah and it's fun to see them I want to do another season just because I feel
Starting point is 00:48:00 like we learn more each time and we get a little bit better each time like everything that I know now after two filming sessions I'll apply to the third and i feel like it'll just be that much funnier oh for sure yeah i can't do we have any idea when those will roughly be out i mean i know you guys just shot them it's probably gonna be a bit i have a meeting tomorrow about uh when we can actually get these through post but i moved a lot of stuff around and I do think that it'll be sooner rather than later. Um, awesome.
Starting point is 00:48:29 What I would like to do is see if anyone wants to top line sponsor this thing, because I feel like this show is too good. It's maybe it's yeah. We'll see if OSHA can throw some money at us. Hey, don't be like these guys one who almost broke his ass and the other one who almost lost a finger work safety is important i don't do once there's a
Starting point is 00:48:58 catalog of episodes available that people could see i think it would be so funny to go to the people that make these products and like reach out to them to try to get them the sponsor that doesn't do oh that episode i think that would be the ones that are still in business yes the ones that that survive long enough for you to get a response from like whatever i don't know what you did with what but like whatever caused the explosion on the on you jeff or team, whatever that was, like that company, the idea that that company sees the footage of Does It Do? And is like, yep, that's what we want is very funny to me.
Starting point is 00:49:33 It just, it sounds like we're almost holding them hostage. Hey, sponsor this and we'll really show you what this thing's capable of. Well, first off, I want to say we are impartial with, and it's an honest evaluation. There were multiple products, without spoiling stuff, multiple products made it into the wall of do, and multiple products made it into the pile of don't. Some stuff worked better than advertised. Some stuff did exactly what they said it did, and it did it better than they said it would.
Starting point is 00:50:02 Like some of those products, I was legitimately blown away away by some of the products were utter dog shit just uh just a just a travesty uh uh so we kind of run the gamut on both eric i thought it was you but it may have been tyler that told me one of the people that we got product from when they sent the product said by the way we're big fans. Oh, are you serious? Oh, no, I hadn't heard that. That's awesome. Yeah. Talk to Tyler because he knows whoever that was.
Starting point is 00:50:30 Whoever that was, we could talk to him. Oh, that's oh, hell yeah. That's so cool. Yeah, I thought so, too. I don't remember which one it was, but yeah. So we have what? Seven. You've done seven products at this point.
Starting point is 00:50:40 Yeah. Yeah, I think that's what season one will just be seven instead of eight okay are there any of those you said that you like them have you incorporated any of these into like your your routine or will they be going forward you said it's not yet life hack fashion okay i'm no i'm not just like i think i think these are all life hacks right isn't the general concept of all these products in a sense is they're trying to be a life hack in a way? I was just curious if any of these are like, I use this every
Starting point is 00:51:08 day now. I went into this doing a goofy thing, but now this is my shit. I'm gonna... I'll say this. There's one product in particular that I definitely won't be incorporating into any facet of my life, and that's the... I'll just say it. That's the fucking
Starting point is 00:51:23 useless garlic master what a hunk of shit that was oh my god I'm so excited that's the one that we couldn't figure out how to open and then the one that fell apart in our fucking hands I actually wrote down a new life hack
Starting point is 00:51:46 Oh yeah what is it? I clearly don't really get life hacks yet I've not really come up with one that's a good life hack Is this a life hack? Ikea furniture doesn't survive moves How would that be a hack? How is that a hack? Well that means
Starting point is 00:52:01 If you're buying Ikea furniture For a place that you're going gonna move out of soon don't okay well that's a good okay you're no you're phrasing of it it would be like a if that's a fortune cookie that i'm mad i opened what you just said those six like i understand what you're saying but that makes no sense like how is that a hack i like ikea i like the cost of the stuff but every time i've moved a billy bookcase with movers it it becomes a chipped up smashed up piece of collapsing shit okay this is your problem though gavin i own let's say i own ikea furniture i've now you've given me this information i need to move what am i supposed to do with that information? Just set my expectation.
Starting point is 00:52:45 Yeah. Don't bother. No, I think this could fall under hack. No, this is, once again, just information. This is just information. It's like Gavin saying, if you buy IKEA furniture and you plan to move, don't. Don't buy the furniture or don't plan to move with the furniture. Because here's the thing about IKEA furniture. It's, you know, it doesn't survive the moves.
Starting point is 00:53:07 The movers smash it all up. But also they're incredibly difficult to dismantle and put back together. Like a lot of the time when you build IKEA, you're like wrecking it up in place and then it's pretty much stuck that way. I think you could maybe make this a hack if it was like, hey, if you're moving somewhere,
Starting point is 00:53:24 ship it to where you're going to move to and then build it there. Don't attempt to send it to you. Mine's more of like, even if you know you're going to move in a year, don't do it. But I don't think. Here's the hack. Here's the hack. Here's the hack. Here's the hack.
Starting point is 00:53:39 Your hack is to still buy IKEA. If you buy IKEA furniture, which is fine. We all have IKEA furniture. i have a ton of it if you buy ikea furniture build it where it's going to live forever because the moment you have to move it it's going to fall apart but like that's not a hack no it's not like the hack would be do this no no because the hack is like do this instead of that. Not even close. And all you're saying is, if you have Ikea furniture, leave it. And that's not a hack. That's just you telling a friend how to move.
Starting point is 00:54:14 And your initial criticism of my hack was that all I did was order a thing. Okay, well, here's what I'll say. But your version of the hack would be order the schmeckle at Ikea. That's not a hack. No,. But your version of the hack would be order the Schmeckle at Ikea. That's not a hack. No, this is my version of the hack. You want to bench in a table? If you buy this thing, you get those things at a cheaper price. That is essentially what my hack was.
Starting point is 00:54:37 I think a hack to me is you're getting either value or something that they don't intend for how their system is set up by, by placing the order or whatever you're doing. It doesn't have to be like purchasing dictionary.com says the definition of life. I fucking lost it. Where'd it go? Hold on. He just set up a real gotcha and then fell on his ass.
Starting point is 00:55:04 I think you'll find dictionary.com described uh defines a life hack as a tip trick or efficient method for doing or managing a day-to-day task or activity yeah i don't think that what you said gavin categorizes as any of those it's just advice do you think i could have phrased it in a way that would make it a hack? Here's the thing. With all of your hacks, they're all information I'm glad I have. Like, I'm not upset about what you're telling me. It doesn't change the situation at all.
Starting point is 00:55:36 And it doesn't make the process easier. What if... Because I think I'm working towards releasing my own life hack book based on these findings, but I think the reviews are going to be pretty shitty at this rate. I think it would be a great advice book. Just not hack a book. What if instead of calling these life hacks,
Starting point is 00:55:51 what if we call them Gavin's life tips? Because I'm the last person who should be giving advice. Something, I just, I want, how many? But isn't a life hack advice? God damn it, Emma. No, a life hack is not advice. Advice is not a life hack. A tip is advice. Yeah, advice advice is not a life hack a tip is advice
Starting point is 00:56:05 yeah but that's not a hat but a life i just it's dictionary.com describes if you okay this is if if we're out somewhere and you're like i don't like spicy things and you're gonna buy something spicy because i know i've experienced that and i said oh don't buy that things and you're going to buy something spicy because I know I've experienced with that. And I said, Oh, don't buy that. That's not a life hack. This is me advising based on experience. A hack needs to be like, it needs to somehow circumvent some other obstacle in a more efficient way. All right.
Starting point is 00:56:38 So I don't think we're in hacked here. I want you to keep at it because I'm enjoying these tips. They're great tips. As somebody who's looking at buying something from Ikea, you are in your hacking face. Or you're trying to get to it. You're on the road to a hacking face. I can see Hack Mountain, but I keep just climbing about the hills.
Starting point is 00:56:58 Yeah. While I thought your wording was dog shit, Gavin, I did think there was a life hack in there. So I guess I'm at the bottom of Life Hack Mountain with you I'll let you know what do you think the life hack was well if okay maybe it is a wording thing Jeff if you're gonna reword his point to make I already tried to and you you said it didn't work so fair enough yeah what did you do I did my best mainly uh scheduling war zone games that you don't show up to is uh most recent that happened once that's an exaggeration i did the night i texted you this is i don't know if this is an endorsement
Starting point is 00:57:32 for how big the gerbler is i texted you to confirm then i just had a feeling that you weren't gonna get back to me so i was like i'm gonna have a bath so i had a bath all comfortable it's great got the water run it's warm i'm cozy i was like you know what i'm just gonna i'm gonna put my phone down i'm not even gonna worry about you replying for a little bit i'm just gonna close my eyes and relax and so i go to move my phone on my hands and i place it on the toilet seat to my left and i had forgotten that i had put a gerbler full of water there and the gerpler is such a big open top i dropped my phone into my gerpler in the dark and then and and then halfway like was half
Starting point is 00:58:14 falling and i panicked i was like oh water and i threw my phone onto the ground and i was like i guess i hope he doesn't reply now because i have no idea if he responds. Are you talking about your new phone, though? Your new refurbished Pixel phone? Yes, yeah, my new refurbished. It drops all the time. I hate whatever material it's made of. It slides off of everything I know and hits the floor constantly.
Starting point is 00:58:36 It is hitting the floor over 80 times easily. It's constantly falling. But yeah, I almost put it fully in the Gerp. It would have went all the way in the gerpler the top is so big but then i felt the water panicked threw it to the floor then i fell asleep for like 20 minutes i got so comfortable i didn't know how much time had passed i was worried that you had replied and that i had missed it and so i had to like i was grabbing towels off the floor i didn't want to get out of the bath,
Starting point is 00:59:05 but I needed the phone. So I went on this whole fishing expedition to get the phone back. And I finally got it. And then Jeff had texted me like five minutes prior. I didn't hear from you until like an hour, two hours after that, maybe. It was a whole thing.
Starting point is 00:59:20 Speaking of bathrooms and actually playing Call of Duty together, should we talk about our bathroom adventure? We should. That was great. So we... I don't know when that became the strategy, but the three of us were playing Warzone.
Starting point is 00:59:35 I don't think you played a lot of the last Warzone, Jeff, but you had played Warzone 2. I played a ton of Warzone 1 on Verdansk, and I played a lot of Blackout as well. But yeah. Yeah. And thenk and I played a lot of like previous like Blackout as well but yeah yeah and then Gavin and I have just started playing I don't think Gavin has played Warzone for a long time I don't know I haven't played since the Call of Duty Blackout
Starting point is 00:59:53 yeah so we started that and we're just we're having fun we're doing goofy things and then we decided let's try to actually win which largely is based around hiding and so we adopted this bathroom strategy where the three of us would all like huddle up in a we get some supplies oh my picture's too powerful oh that picture we just wait in the bathroom and one of my favorite features which i'm sure is terrible too
Starting point is 01:00:18 for wars into is whenever anyone's in your proximity and they're in game chat you can see so i'm just going to post a photo. This is our bathroom setup. I'm crouched in the middle. You can see Jeff and Gavin over each of my shoulders. We've got this door locked down. If anyone tries to open it,
Starting point is 01:00:35 they're in trouble. We're holding out. We were there for probably like five or 10 minutes. We lasted a long time in this bathroom. And then we got the ping on the screen of somebody is's in our proximity there's somebody talking and whatever that happens i love to go in the game chat and
Starting point is 01:00:50 just listen because it's almost always it's always great from my experience either it's somebody who is not like they're taking it very seriously or they're not at all it's a baby crying it's just something's always going on so i went into game chat and it was this woman talking with her team and they were so tactical. They were like fully role playing like the soldier thing of like I'm scanning room one going and progressing on your on your right on your right passing your flank clearing all clear like they were clearing room by room. They probably attack shavers in the pocket. They probably did. They're probably well versed in tax gaming. So they're going room by room and then she opens the door and she was so startled by the three of us with her gun just ready to go she broke character she just went oh they're in the
Starting point is 01:01:36 bathroom like all of the everything the tone completely shifted then it was complete mayhem i ran out after her i broke her shields but then i got downed and then i died and i thought oh we're over it's done and then gavin what did you well how did you guys survive that what happened i ran out uh just started blasting i i think i emptied half of my shotgun into je by accident, which is a friendly fire, so I didn't kill him or anything. But I just watched you and the right people. And then I noticed that someone was downed. But I had a sniper out because I'd wasted most of my shotgun. So I switched to my sniper.
Starting point is 01:02:16 I started trying to shoot the person crawling along the floor. I missed like four shots. And then I got downed. And then I crawled back to Jeff. Jeff got me up right as the third person ran into the room. And I somehow got up and within a split second, no scope that person who just ran in. Saving both of us.
Starting point is 01:02:36 It was incredible. It was wild. I shot a, I killed one of the three of them with a rocket launcher at close range. Because I panicked. I wish we had Gavin's photo. The room on the other side of that door is just painted.
Starting point is 01:02:49 It looks like they filmed three seasons of Does It Do. It's just painted in blood and guts. It was wild. Just everything was destroyed. It was so much fun. We had a similar encounter later where once again went into game chat. We seemed to encounter the most serious teams that evening and
Starting point is 01:03:05 we kept winning somehow against them. It would make me so happy. It was great. We couldn't have been, we're the least competent crew in the session by far. So getting these victories over these people that are taking the game super seriously. Oh, it's wonderful. I think we
Starting point is 01:03:21 have... That's such a great before and after. That's me. That's my dead body right in front of the door. All three of us are in that photo. I'll see if I can put... I'll get my full clip up. I think it starts with me just missing with the sniper four times.
Starting point is 01:03:43 It's great. I think it starts with you just missing with the sniper four times. It's great. I think we have a unique form of panic that's very unpredictable for people who know how to play the game. So I think in some ways we have the advantage because they can't figure out what we're going to do because we don't
Starting point is 01:03:57 know what we're going to do. It's genius. Yeah, it's brilliant. It's a genius strategy. It's been really fun. Andrew, did you see the clip I posted on Slack of you leaping your quad bike into the train no i haven't watched that's a good one it definitely won't fit in discord but yeah it's a goodie i tried to drive a vehicle onto because there's a train that goes around the map and i was curious if we could like park vehicles on it to escape if we needed to and they just explode no what you do, like as soon as you land, they just explode
Starting point is 01:04:26 and you get knocked down. So do not do that. I'd avoid doing that. It was kind of a shame how much fun we had just playing video games because it really made me want to make a
Starting point is 01:04:39 face video game show. We should. I don't know. I don't know why we wouldn't. I have been trying to get you guys to do that. I figured it'd be a great Gavin and Andrew show since you guys play together so much, but I had so much fucking fun.
Starting point is 01:04:50 God damn, dude, did I have fun that night playing Call of Duty with y'all. I think it's a great idea. Tomorrow night. Tomorrow, yeah. There you go. It has a date. It comes out tomorrow.
Starting point is 01:05:00 The issue is the editing side of it. We can easily film it. It's just, who's going to cut that? We've got no money. I'll have to try to talk to a guy to get a guy, but if it's something we want to do, it's something we can make happen. We've got Nitro as well.
Starting point is 01:05:16 No, we found out we don't need Nitro. We need boosts for the server in order to get the server bigger. I'm not really clear on what the server boost does or really how to get it as previously stated i'm on gavin's side uh but in defense once again to him nitro even though we don't need it i want it i've been thinking about that nitro is like the best sounding addition i've ever heard but it doesn't if i went to any restaurant i know i know we don't need it, but if anybody was like, hey, do you want to pay an extra dollar for nitro?
Starting point is 01:05:48 I would always say yes. Yeah, imagine you at a restaurant and they're like, would you like the shrimp or the shrimp nitro? It's always nitro. 100% nitro. You guys are insane. It's such a great... You're nuts. You're fucking nuts. It's a great word. Insane. There's no situation in which I don't want nitro.
Starting point is 01:06:05 What is that? Have you ever had nitro cold brew? Oh, it's so good. What is that? Is the nitro like nitrogen? Is that what they do? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:13 It's like when you have a Guinness and then it's kind of heady and you have to let it settle. It's that, but for coffee. Oh, okay. Oh, it makes it so creamy. Starbucks has one. I think at a moral level, though, I'm just against the idea of paying for boosts on anything.
Starting point is 01:06:29 I just hate the sound of it. I agree with you. What am I boosting? Give me the service. Give me a plan. No, shut up. Okay. I'm not against that.
Starting point is 01:06:36 When we played, and this is aggressive, but the first season of Halo Infinite, every time we'd play, you would start the session by going, I'm going to buy a level up. Buying a boost. It was the version of the game I got gave me 25 to use, and I would always just use a boost. I apologize.
Starting point is 01:06:55 I assumed you bought them. I didn't have that context. I was wrong. When I'm wrong, I'll admit I'm wrong. I was right about the drafts. I was wrong about this. I have no issue admitting when I'm wrong. Speaking of the drafts, and Eric says we should wrap up, so we should probably start wrapping up,
Starting point is 01:07:12 but now that we're through with Does It Do? and I believe, not as of this recording, but this week, the Fireplace video will finally come up. Other than the Does It Do? stuff, we're through all of our supplemental content, so we need to start We've been on a fucking tear with supplemental content these last like three months i want to keep that ball rolling i think the fireplace took uh three full days to process to 8k
Starting point is 01:07:32 totally worth it though it absolutely and you're right it's just going to be comments from people going and tweets from people i have to block who are just going to be like, it's not an 8K for me. I could not care less. It's not, look, we tried. There's nothing I can do. It is what it is at this point. I'll say this. It's up there at 8K. If you have a browser slash device that can make use of it, then you'll see the option
Starting point is 01:07:58 for it. If not, it will just be 4K or HD, I guess. But it's up there at 8K. So look forward to that if you haven't already watched it. Also, Condor Man will film at some point. Yep. But it's up there in 8K. So look forward to that if you haven't already watched it. Also, Condor Man we'll film at some point. Also, Does It Do?
Starting point is 01:08:09 Also, a bunch of other stuff. Gavin had an idea. I know we're wrapping up, but Gavin had an idea that we're going to forget to talk about if we don't mention it here. When we were filming Does It Do?
Starting point is 01:08:18 that I thought was one of the best ideas I've heard in a while. Gavin's idea, I don't think any of you guys heard it. I think it was just he and I. His idea was that we film an episode of F*** Face where two people get caffeine pills
Starting point is 01:08:30 and two people take Z-Quils and you don't know which you're taking and then you just see what happens and try to figure it out. It's so, we can't. Get OSHA back as the sponsor. Like, we can't do it. Like, we can't.ha back is responsible like we can't do it like we can't but man fucking crazy that's the sucky thing about this being technically work is that we it's work but you can't do that
Starting point is 01:08:55 work i know but if we all took a day off and did it no well wait so how potent is the caffeine pill and comparison not as potent as all the caffeine i drink constantly probably it's but i don't really drink caffeine but it's concentrated and it's gonna get you going like you're gonna feel you're gonna feel buzzy and it would have to be the reason like on the level of a z-quill or something so the reason i thought it'd be funny is that after a few minutes say after 10 minutes you would feel some sort of change, but you wouldn't immediately be able to tell which one you've had if you didn't know what it was.
Starting point is 01:09:31 Yeah, there's a hazy period where you just feel different. You don't know if it's different energy or different time. We filmed a video, like a Let's Play Left 4 Dead thing in like 2015, a long time ago, the three of us and Caleb was part of that. And i was like so anxious about it i was like i need to pump up i need some energy i need to be enthused for this i need to get going so i drank like four red bulls in three minutes right before we started shooting i don't know if i told this story before but i drank like four red bulls in a really condensed time and then we filmed it and we were done. I was like, that was great! And I like stood up
Starting point is 01:10:08 and I was like, that was, oh man, that was fun! And then I looked at everybody else and you all were so relaxed. I was like, what's wrong with them? Oh! Oh, I just, I don't drink energy, I just had four Red Bulls in an hour. You're an all or nothing kind of guy.
Starting point is 01:10:23 I was very all or nothing yeah so that's that's what i feel like i could tap into i had uh i mean we're supposed to wrap up but uh i realized i could get cake drunk which i'm very excited with somebody who doesn't drink oh my god how many bowls of cake do you take to get not no no that's the thing so i it's i got this rum cake from a place and i had one little notch of it and i was tipsy because i don't drink at all i was tip i was like if i went to a sporting event i could get fucked up on cake easily any scenario you give me just one cake i could get so cake drunk i love the idea of having a hangover from cake i absolutely would, you go to a bar and everybody's like,
Starting point is 01:11:06 everybody's drinking shots and Andrew's like, hold on a second, get some mouthful of cake. I think shots would be those little cupcakes, those little mini ones. He takes them. Slamming,
Starting point is 01:11:20 slamming the paper wrapper on the bar. Oh man, well there you bar. Oh, man. Well, there you go. Thanks for listening. Another episode of F*** Face in the Can. Keep your eyes peeled for Does It Do? Episodes three through seven will be out at some point in the near future.
Starting point is 01:11:37 Don't forget to check out our new fireplace video. It is in 8K. And if you have any issues with that, just let Eric know. He said he's happy to help you troubleshoot. And we released a mystery package this week and you guys bought it all up and thank you for that i hope you uh i hope you enjoy we filled it with all kinds of stuff there's like five or six different items in it and uh really really really appreciate y'all supporting us by buying that and uh if you if you're so inclined to put a star next to this
Starting point is 01:12:04 podcast on on a program or even in like a notebook at your school where you you write down stuff like on the cover and then you write down like face and then put a little star next to like the weird s you draw on a Metallica logo and then at lunch maybe your friends will see it and then they'll be like what's face I want to I want to listen to that it's got a star next to it it must be pretty good so stars mean good we'll see you next time. Hey, guys. Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. It's a party at Gavin's house.
Starting point is 01:12:31 Jeff and Gavin have dead trees. How does one wipe with no power? Andrew got scammed. What is man-to-man coverage? It's spaghetti and meatballs, not spaghetti with meatballs. More licorice. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.

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