F**kface - Potato Talk // Bald Concert Goers [170]

Episode Date: September 6, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew are STILL talking about potatoes… but also how Andrew’s never tried eggs, ketchup brands, sports names, Andrew’s stalker, Stevie Nicks, people who video entire concerts,... how reflective bald heads are, the most appetizing land animals, compiling a worst songs ever playlist, and Geoff receives a surprise gift mid episode.  Sponsored by Shady Rays http://shadyrays.com and use code FACE , DraftKings Sportsbook Download the DraftKings sportsbook app now and use code REGULATION to sign up. New customers can take home $200 in bonus bets when they bet just $5.  Subscribe to Geoff's new podcast https://link.chtbl.com/soalright Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma, is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam. Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics, groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics. Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation of Beastrin.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice. Your choice, that is. From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills. And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in their weak points, use the terrain and trick, trip, or throw foes off high cliffs or raging waters.
Starting point is 00:01:10 Visit dragonsdogma.com to buy the game and start your epic quest today. That's D-R-A-G-O-N-S-D-O-G-M-A.com to learn more. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. This is episode 170 of season volume. My name is Jeff Fransman. I know it's more potassium than a banana. And Gavin Free. Right out the gate,
Starting point is 00:01:49 we are, as we've previously discussed, we are a vegetable podcast. We have some interesting vegetable facts for you. This episode, we're going to focus on potatoes. Andrew, what's your potato fact? Russet Burbank has been around since 1872. That's two different facts. You have two facts?
Starting point is 00:02:04 A potato has more potassium in it than a banana. Thank you. Thank you. That's a fact. Okay. Eric, what's your potato fact? My potato fact is that PepsiCo sued some Indian farmers for cultivating the FC5 potato variety,
Starting point is 00:02:19 accusing growers of infringing on their potato patent. Pepsi? Pepsi. Because they own Lays. Oh. Yeah, you don't think about the conglomerate. Yeah. So that's just like a filing cabinet of patents,
Starting point is 00:02:35 and then they get to pee, and it's just a shitload of different potato ones? I guess so. Yeah. They get to pee. It's all alphabetical in a drawer. Oh, fuck. I got to go in the pee?
Starting point is 00:02:46 It's going to take me all day to get past the potatoes. Nick, what's your Pepsi or potato-related fact? Pepsi? An eight-ounce baked or boiled potato has only about 100 calories before you add delicious things like sour cream, cheese, and bacon to it. I agree with some of those ingredients. Andrew, how about you? Or no, the other one. Gavin, how about you? A potato has
Starting point is 00:03:08 more potassium in it than a banana. A potato, when it's gone green, has a buildup of a toxin that can be very harmful to animals and humans. It kills over .25 people a year. Jesus. That was almost my fact.
Starting point is 00:03:27 I genuinely almost picked poison potato fact. I had a feeling that it was, Gavin was going to pick that fact because Gavin always gravitates to things that can kill you. It was an important part of my fruit and veg days to get rid of the green potatoes from the shelf. Between 1865
Starting point is 00:03:44 and 1983, 30 people died from green potatoes. Wow. My fact is there is such a thing as a half tomato, half potato called the tomtato, also known as the pomato. The tomtato is the product of a grafted potato plant and tomato plant, an efficient strategy that grows both potatoes and tomatoes, and there is little to no effect on the quality. If this is your first time listening to F*** Face, we do talk about potatoes at the beginning of every episode,
Starting point is 00:04:15 so stay tuned. Do you think Dr. Seuss killed anybody with the green potato? Because they did a whole green eggs and ham, right? Yes. So that seems fun. Did he have green spots? No they did a whole green eggs and ham, right? Yes. So, like, that seems fun. Did he have green spots? No, but I'm just saying, like, if green eggs and ham are great, then why wouldn't a green potato be great?
Starting point is 00:04:32 Can I ask you a question? Yeah. You were a kid at one point. Uh-huh. You enjoyed Dr. Seuss, as I did. I think, I assume we all did. Did you ever eat green eggs after, like, eating... I've never had eggs.
Starting point is 00:04:43 Eating green... Reading green eggs and ham never made me want to eat green eggs after like I've never had reading green reading green eggs and ham never made me want to eat green eggs. It made me want to avoid green eggs. I love how many times in this podcast a conversation about eggs just gets completely shut down by Andrew having never had an egg. I forgot that you never had eggs. I don't do we have to do something.
Starting point is 00:05:04 Is that something we have to fix? At some point, it's probably a good idea. Probably open up a lot of doors for me. Well, what format of egg do you think you'd go for? I feel like I've scrambled. I feel like I've definitely had scrambled eggs and, like, other things, like fried rice, but, like, I've never just had scrambled eggs. Have you had pasta?
Starting point is 00:05:21 Ooh. Yeah? Here's what we should do. We should prepare eggs for Andrew in all the common ways. Over easy, over meat, sunny side up, scrambled, quiche, hard boiled, fried, poached. Quiche. Yeah, in a quiche, like a bunch of eggs in a thing. It's mostly egg, though.
Starting point is 00:05:44 I'm just thinking of ways people eat eggs, the most common ways people eat eggs. And then let him explore. I like that. Let him find the right egg for him. Eggs for Andrew? Yeah. That's a good idea. Do you know who else had a good idea?
Starting point is 00:05:57 The Parker brothers in 1903 had a game called The Potato Race. It's another good idea. Should we all play it find a coffee the potato rice what do you think it is oh it's probably uh like snakes and ladders but potatoes potatoes and bags go up the potato down the bag that would be my guess I guess. Uh, I don't know. Up the potato. Well, you're at,
Starting point is 00:06:30 you're all acting like that's fucking nonsensical when the base game is snakes and ladders. Like that fucking makes sense. Slide down the snakes. Climbing up the ladder is pretty logical, but the snake part. Oh, see,
Starting point is 00:06:45 it's, it's sort of, you you know snakes and ladders was a straight shot Jeff found hot potato which is not what we're talking about but is a potato based game dude they look awesome look at this one look at this other version of it yeah that looks pretty cool those kids are having the time of their life
Starting point is 00:07:01 throwing a potato in the air those look a lot cooler the hot potato games than potato race which just is a straight board i don't understand is it just whoever can roll 25 first like what is i really that doesn't seem like a good board with no twists or turns and just go along and collect your potatoes my son what if you have to bake a potato every time you land on a potato there's like a 45 minute time penalty essentially every time you gotta preheat the oven i'm kind of on board for that but i don't i don't even i don't see where the game is eric you're famously uh known for hating board games i I get it. If this is your point of reference. Yep.
Starting point is 00:07:46 Yeah. Potato Race is my point of reference. I assume so. Gavin, are there board games in the UK that we just never got here in the US and you're like, oh, this would be a good one? What, like Cluedo?
Starting point is 00:08:00 It's just Cluedo, right? Yeah. It wasn't just... Yeah. That wasn't fun. I thought there should... there has to be. There has to be real answers to that. I have discovered something in the process of looking at potatoes.
Starting point is 00:08:12 What have you discovered? Have you guys? Is it that in 1974, Eric Jenkins grew 370 pounds from a single potato point? No, it's that there's something called potato smiles you can buy. Yeah, I had those for dinner almost every night. I would have those and I'd have turkey dinosaurs. And that was the ultimate dinner on like a Thursday night. You've never seen a potato smile, Jeff?
Starting point is 00:08:33 No, never in my life have I seen a McCain potato smile. I put ketchup in the ice. What? Eric, are you familiar with this? Am I crazy? Eric, are you familiar with this? Am I crazy? I am only aware of these because I had them in Japan when I went to a fast food place
Starting point is 00:08:51 and they had potato smiley things. So it's okay. It's the only reason I had them. Nick, are you familiar with this at all? Nick isn't here. Oh, right. He had to leave. Did you have them with these?
Starting point is 00:09:03 Yeah, absolutely. Dino nuggets and big smiley potatoes. That's fine. Yeah. Dude, I've never, right. He had to leave. Did you have him with these? Yeah, absolutely. Dino nuggets and big smiley potatoes. That's fine. That's a really fun meal. Never. If I had, dude, I'm mad now. I'm mad that smiley potatoes have existed my whole life and I haven't been eating them daily.
Starting point is 00:09:16 You could go to a store right now. If you squeeze ketchup on the plate first and then smushed a smiley down into the ketchup, it would ooze out of the mouth and eyes. I bet you can't. Let me look at potato smiles. I mean, Gracie said that potato smiles were served at her public schools.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Wow. Yeah. I checked. All right, well, here you go. I checked. H-E-B does not sell potatoes. Doesn't sell potato smiles. At all?
Starting point is 00:09:41 In any form? No. They have no potato paws? They have potatoes. No potato frowns. They got nothing? Yeah, they no they have no potato pals they have potatoes they got nothing yeah they don't have any potato faces whatsoever it's not something that i ever encountered i mean gracie's saying walmart and i found it at walmart i guess so i don't do my grocery shopping at walmart but maybe i should start you should if it's the fucking fuck heb if they don't have potato smiles yeah fuck heb yeahE-B yeah I'll say it I'll say it again fuck H-E-B Nick you can isolate that
Starting point is 00:10:10 when you come back from your meeting can we sell face potato frowns no the answer is no can we sell sad potatoes yeah a bunch of frowns in a bag? The answer is no. Pissed potatoes. Walmart doesn't really have them either. They have one bag for $132 that says McCain or Ida smiles fun shaped potatoes. Four pounds, six per case. You got to buy it by the case. It's not like you're getting individual servings here. At least on Walmart.com. That's what it's like to ship stuff to Andrew.
Starting point is 00:10:41 Yeah. Yeah. Hey, audience. Have you eaten potato smiles? How have I not heard of this? They're all... I don't know.
Starting point is 00:10:49 They're all like 19, so they've all eaten these potato smiles. Good Lord. Must have been invented after me. Definitely. Oh, for sure.
Starting point is 00:10:58 Wow. Gracie found them for $3.92. I'm just saying. That's the same. Should we have a bowl of them for when we do the chips? It's like a palate cleanser.
Starting point is 00:11:08 What? I mean, Jeff would love that. Yeah. Can we do that? Gracie, I need you to buy potato smileys for Monday. Thank you. And maybe some ketchup. Thank you, Gracie. Yeah, we'll definitely need some ketchup.
Starting point is 00:11:23 But just like regular ketchup. We don't need fancy ketchup or like spicy ketchup or anything like that. Yeah. Yeah, just like bog standard ketchup. We overcomplicate ketchup lately. I'm not into it. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:38 You're not a fan of... Did you ever try the glitter ketchup? No, I'm a ketchup purist. No. What? Are you a Heinz guy, I No. I'm a ketchup purist. No. What? Are you a Heinz guy, I assume? I don't give a shit. I don't care about brand.
Starting point is 00:11:51 I have no ketchup brand loyalty. None. No. Why would I care? I'm shocked. There are people in Canada that are very passionate about ketchup. What is a... What's a beloved ketchup in Canada?
Starting point is 00:12:04 Well, it used to be heinz was obviously like the leader but then they closed a bunch of plants or whatever i believe in canada and then french's came in and made a bunch of like canadian ketchup products and so french is the sort of viewed as like the loyal if you if you want to be a canadian loyalist you're french's ketchup consumer oh interesting as opposed to had french's ketchup before it's not great i think heinz is a superior product in every way do you like the french's mustard um i like yeah but like i don't use mustard on a lot of things big honey mustard, not a huge just base mustard guy. I like Coleman's.
Starting point is 00:12:47 Coleman's is good. Yeah, it's the type of mustard that's, if you have too much of it, it's like someone's sticking their fingers up your nose. Really? Yeah. Really powerful. Well, I'm glad you discovered Smile Potatoes, Jeff.
Starting point is 00:13:00 I am too, yeah. You didn't know. As a man of culture, I'm surprised that this has snuck past you i think it's just one of those things where uh my fucking front door just opened up on its own it's a gentle ghost that's the kind of thing you hear it's like someone's last sentence hold on a second i'll be if you hear a gunshot call the police would we be able to hear it with the noise cancel yeah my noise suppression would Hold on a second. If you hear a gunshot, call the police.
Starting point is 00:13:27 Would we be able to hear it with the noise canceling? Yeah, my noise suppression would. Now, Gavin, when you call the police, are you going to open with talk to me and they're going to be like, you called me? What are you talking about? Do you know what? I have a sports related note on my phone. Do you?
Starting point is 00:13:42 Really? I don't think I've ever had anything sport related ever to talk about. Okay, what you got? I feel bad that Jeff's gonna miss this. Yep. We can fill him in. Yeah. Okay. Alright, I'm alive. Who do you think has the most sportsman name
Starting point is 00:13:56 in entertainment, but is in fact not anything to do with sports? Oh. Tom Cruise could be a great surfer. I picked Wayne Brady. Are you thinking like Tom Brady? Yeah, that just sounds really American and spoily. Do they have to be alive today or can it be somebody from the past?
Starting point is 00:14:18 Yeah, it could be anyone. Rock Hudson. Yeah, great baseball. That's a really good baseball player. Yeah. This is a tough question Tom Cruise is immediate um
Starting point is 00:14:33 hmm do you have any other answers I think Charlie Chaplin is a good baseball name oh the double cha he feels like he'd steal a lot of bases yep that would be his thing Oh. The double ch. Yeah. He feels like he'd steal a lot of bases.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Yep. But that would be his thing. Mm-hmm. Randy Quaid also feels like... Oh, that's a good one. That's a great one. Randy Quaid's a great one. Yeah. Maybe on the next break show,
Starting point is 00:15:02 if we get some non-sport-themed cards to open, we can make a sports pile. A sport, not sport pile. A sport, not sport pile. Kevin Hart. I feel like Kevin Hart is a good sports name. That is pretty good. That is really good. It's hard for me to get out of the baseball mindset. I love baseball.
Starting point is 00:15:21 I have the best one. Okay. Cheech Marin. Oh, that's a great. Oh, yeah. Cheech is like the perfect baseball. And it's got the ch sounds that Eric likes. Two of them.
Starting point is 00:15:32 Yeah. Yep. I like Dean Cain as an Olympic wrestler. Dude, Dean Cain was on the tip of my tongue. That's a great one. Yeah. Yep. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:43 I had a very f*** face evening recently. I could tell you guys about. Please Yeah. I had a very f***ing face evening recently. I could tell you guys about. Please do. I had a real double whammy. I, uh... So I bought myself a refurbished laptop recently. Very cheap. So I have that.
Starting point is 00:15:57 I've been enjoying that. I've been enjoying... I've been laying in bed at nights, filling the 20,000 list. That's been part of my routine recently. How many are you getting down each night? I'm trying to hit around 150 per night is my goal. And it's surprisingly difficult because I'm just trying to think of things off the top of my head.
Starting point is 00:16:16 And the thing notifies me if it's a duplicate or not. And there's nothing worse than hitting a duplicate. Somebody in the community made a spreadsheet that did that. And thank you, whoever you are. I really appreciate it. So how many is on the list? Well, you know, I like to leave it a surprise. Maybe it's close, maybe it's not. Who knows?
Starting point is 00:16:34 Yeah, maybe it's not. It'll just appear. When you complete the list, should we sell a poster that's just Andrew's 20,000 things, and it just has it all on it? Here's what we should do. We should have Andrew start the print at the beginning of an episode and see if it finishes all on it. Here's what we should do. We should have Andrew start the print at the beginning of an episode and see if it finishes by the end. That's a great idea.
Starting point is 00:16:50 I like that idea. But anyway. Is poster on the list? No. I'll write that down right now. Poster. 19,999 things to go. So no. I got way more than that. So I've been doing that. That's been my bedside ritual i've been we
Starting point is 00:17:06 talked about the last episode we've been we've all been excited or at least jeff and i have happy walking around filled with energy i found it difficult to sleep at a reasonable hour recently just because i've been so excited and just like happy um and the other night i finally it was like 10 o'clock, and I was like, I'm actually really tired. Like, I can go to bed. This might actually be the thing that shifts my sleep schedule.
Starting point is 00:17:32 This is perfect, and so I walked to bed, and I accidentally, I forgot that I put my laptop at the side of the bed. It's in the dark. I hit my laptop with my foot. It hits my end table table and for my birthday
Starting point is 00:17:46 as you guys know i like listening to rain rain music as a birthday gift i was giving us a given a small fountain which has been on my bedside table and it takes two gerblers of water so i kick my laptop hits the table my fountain falls off of the end table, pours two gerblers worth of water all over the floor. I am livid. I was so cozy. I was so ready to go to bed. And now I have two liters of water all over my laptop
Starting point is 00:18:18 and just the floor in general. So I have to go to the laundry room, get towels. I fix everything. And then through my window, I'm finally, everything's clear. I'm finally in bed. I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ. I woke up. I'm not nearly as sleepy as I was, but maybe I could still fall asleep. And I look through at 1, woke up at 2, and I noticed that there was a flashlight through my door, like in sort of a forested area I could see. And I thought, huh, that's weird, but it's fucking, it's late, and I'm going to mind my own business. So I'm just going to go back to sleep. So I go back to sleep. I wake up like at 2.30, and I look through my door again and there's small
Starting point is 00:19:08 remnants of a fire. Somebody lit a fire between the time I fell asleep and woke up and it's just going out now like an LA a fire. And I'm looking at, I'm like, what do I, do I call the cops? Cause it goes out within like a minute or two of it happening.
Starting point is 00:19:25 Nobody is there. I'm assuming whoever had the light lit the fire and then did whatever and left. And I just caught the end of it. And I kind of felt like I should call 911. But at the same time, it's like, what do I report? Like, there's not a fire. There's the remnants of like, I didn't know what to call it. And it was so late.
Starting point is 00:19:43 So I didn't. So I ignored it. And was it just some woods like it wasn't anyone's land no it was yeah it's just like a grass area i could see through from my bed through the door what time what time is this this is like 2 30 a.m so it's odd it's a strange you what you have is a mystery now you're gonna have to stake out every night at 2 30 to see if they come back and do it again so that's the thing so i knock over all my water it's over my ipad it's on the floor i'm laying in bed and i see a light that isn't quite the same but it's pretty close and i think you gotta be fucking kidding me like i am ready to go to bed but now i got this fucker with a light out there again and i just got to stare them down and see
Starting point is 00:20:26 if they do anything and if another fire gets lit I'll have to immediately call 9-1-1 so I'm just sitting there for like 30 minutes and I'm staring at this light and it's just kind of hanging out it's in around the same spot that the fire was and I'm just I'm waiting I'm getting progressively annoyed and I decide like oh like what if I accidentally fall asleep I'm feeling stress my partner was still awake at this time so I texted my partner like hey just so you know I think the light is out there again I told you about um it's you might be able to see it in the room you're in through the window if you look it's in this direction. And so they, they text me back.
Starting point is 00:21:07 I don't see anything. Where is it? And I, I was like, it's, it's in this, you know what? I'm just going to,
Starting point is 00:21:12 I'll just take a picture of what I'm looking at and I'll send it to you. And then that way they'll, they'll know where to look. So I take photo. I take the photo. My flash is on. I'm trying to be covert. My entire wall just goes bright and i'm like oh fuck
Starting point is 00:21:28 and then it does the flicker i'm gonna this is it for for the public to see but i'll post in our chat that's the photo i realize upon taking the photo that i have not been having a stare down with a man with a flashlight that it is in fact a parked car with a street light reflecting off of it that i interpreted at a light as a light at a distance i had like a 40 minute stare down in bed with a parked car and then i had to explain i'm an idiot it's not just it's fine don't worry about it it's just a car did you keep did you send that picture yes yes i did because i couldn't i couldn't make out what it was and that zoomed in all the way on my phone and i was like wait a second when i looked at the flash photo
Starting point is 00:22:17 this isn't that's just a vehicle i'm an idiot what if. What if there was somebody in that car staking you out the whole time, though? Oh, shit. Yeah. Like, what's that car doing there? Is it there all the time? No, it's an unusual car. Cars aren't typically parked there. Yeah, there you go. Look, it was the only thing I could rent, alright? I think it's pretty impressive that
Starting point is 00:22:41 you had a rivalry with a car for more than half an hour. I did. Really impressive. Would you say the car won? Yeah, I would definitely say the car won. What made you get up to go and knock everything over? No, that was me going to bed. I was at my desk and I decided it's time for sleep.
Starting point is 00:23:01 I'm actually tired. This is great. I accidentally kicked the laptop hits the end table fountain goes over the side water everywhere such a precarious place to keep running war is that was the laptop was the laptop okay i've been scared to try it since that's happened wait you haven't tried it you don't know not since that has happened no what have you been doing with it like you don't even turn it on if it's wet you want to leave it to dry out first before trying i do that but also like i just don't it's it's like schrodinger's cat or whatever currently i don't know if it's broken and as long as i don't check
Starting point is 00:23:36 it it's still working it's not broken until you check that it's broken so exactly yeah yeah i have a lot of friendships like that your laptop is like andrew schrodinger's cat this is i i have to know if okay if it works or doesn't can you just let us know when you actually try it i will i'm so curious but don't be in a hurry no yeah you don't have to be in a hurry let your cat sleep or exist or don't exist or whatever you need speaking of uh speaking of flash i saw i saw the the funniest fucking thing like two nights ago uh emily and i went and saw stevie nicks perform in austin oh shit she had a concert at the moody center and uh i'm okay with stevie nicks i like her music i like flea with mac okay but it's like emily's favorite musician uh stevie nicks. I like her music. I like Flea with Mac okay. But it's like Emily's favorite musician. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:24:26 Stevie Nicks. Her and Dolly Parton. And so it's a big fucking deal for Emily. And I was really happy to go. And we had really cool seats and stuff. And the most interesting thing was like, I guess she's popular on TikTok in some way, her music is,
Starting point is 00:24:38 because it was full of like teenagers and young people and old people, right? Like I expected everybody there to be, she's 75 like i expected everybody there to be she's 75 i expected everybody there to be like 60 to 80 and there were all definitely a lot of those people but i was amazed at how many young people were there but the fucking funniest thing i don't well first off i don't go to a lot of concerts anymore can i can i can i make a plea to other concert goers put your fucking phone down Stop recording the entire two-hour concert! You're not watching
Starting point is 00:25:07 the show, you're watching through a fucking screen, and then I guarantee you're never gonna watch that video again, you dumbass! You're ruining your own experience, and you're ruining everybody else's experience because your phone is in my fucking, is in my line
Starting point is 00:25:24 of sight! Put it down and look at her Don't look at her through your fucking phone Anyway, I always felt the same way about fireworks and people filming concerts and that made more sense I'd say a decade ago, but now it's just it's people's Instagram. They want it on Instagram I know I just watched there were these two dudes in front of me and I'm off on a side track It's not even the point I was trying to make but there were these two dudes in front of me who i'm off on a side track uh it's not even the point i was trying to make but there were these two dudes in front of me who they seemed lovely other than the fact that they both they're together right first off they're together right they came together
Starting point is 00:25:54 they're clearly together they're holding hands at times and stuff so they probably you know they're they're intimate with each other whether they live together or not they're around each other a lot is the impression i get and they're both filming the entire fucking concert. It's like maybe one of you film or maybe take turns and you film for the first half and you film for the second half and then we just swap videos. Or maybe you don't need two hours
Starting point is 00:26:15 of Stevie Nicks through a grainy fucking phone. Maybe you could just enjoy the concert. Regardless, the thing I wanted to point out is the lady next to me, who was an older woman, she was up into the front of me. She was filming with her phone, but she didn't understand that her flashlight came on every time she filmed.
Starting point is 00:26:37 So every time she wanted to film for 10 or 15 minutes straight, she blared her fucking light into the dude in front of me who was like one of the two dudes who was very bald. And it was just like all I could see for an hour and a half was a spotlight on a bald dude's head in front of me instead of Stevie Nicks.
Starting point is 00:26:57 The only time I could see Stevie Nicks was when I could catch her through his screen or his partner's screen. It was a phenomenal concert, but old people don't understand flashlights and how to like, the flash isn't working. You're 185,000
Starting point is 00:27:11 feet away from the stage. You're only illuminating the chair and the bald man in front of you. And like nobody in her family tells her. Nobody is like, hey, it's fucking uncomfortable because I can't see because this guy's super bald and so it's like fucking, it's fucking uncomfortable because I can't see, because this guy's blop, blop, he's super bald. And so it's like fucking, it's like the sun
Starting point is 00:27:28 right in front of me in an otherwise dark room. Oh my god. I always wonder when looking at clips of like Taylor Swift concerts where there's enough people that, you know, if everyone jumped, you would sink New Zealand with a tidal wave or something. There's so many phones on with so
Starting point is 00:27:44 many lights on that it would probably be, if you got all that footage in one place, the coolest time slice footage of all time. You can make like real bullet time of everyone's, of the whole performance. It's insane. I wonder how many pictures of her every second are being taken.
Starting point is 00:27:59 Dude, there was another lady over to the right who I also was annoyed by. She would just do Snapch chats over and over again. She would hit it and fill the little thing up and then do another one. She wasn't even just recording with her video. She must have made 180,000 nine-second snaps or reels or whatever the fuck it was. Just over and over and over again. The workload alone, I don't know how she enjoyed the concert.
Starting point is 00:28:25 She was so busy. You know how on Instagram, if someone's put up a lot of stories, you go for like quick taps to like get through it? Yes. If I see like 11 stories and the first one is like a concert,
Starting point is 00:28:38 I'll just go straight swipe. Like I'm not even tapping through that. I'm going to skip to the whole next person. I'll do you one better. If I do, if I open it up and I see like 11 or 12 of those in a row, I just close Instagram.
Starting point is 00:28:48 I just close the fucking app and move on with my life. Like, I don't understand why people... And I know for a... Well, I can't say I know for a fact, but I know for a fact, they're not looking... They're not using that footage. They weren't professional photographers, clearly.
Starting point is 00:29:02 So they're not using it for some work-related thing. and i know they're not going home and watching that video later like the i understand wanting to capture the moment take a couple photos i took like a 30 second i took like 30 seconds of her singing landslide so i can send it to my mom and just be like hey check it out you know you like her this is cool she still got it look at her listen to her voice it's awesome but like that's the appropriate amount. But why? Why do we feel the need to record every single thing that happens in front of us? I mean,
Starting point is 00:29:29 I do that. I appreciate the way you do it, Gavin. If you were at the Stevie Nicks concert, you wouldn't have been up there with your phone for two straight hours.
Starting point is 00:29:36 No, I wouldn't. Yeah, I wouldn't film an event like that. No, I took you. You and I went to an Austin FC game. We went to the very first Austin FC game.
Starting point is 00:29:43 You didn't film the entire game from your chair and your phone. No, I did keep taking pictures of the crowd opposite though because I kept trying to zoom in and find where Jack was. Yeah, that was fun. That was a game we were playing. That was fun.
Starting point is 00:29:53 Yeah. I think we got him in the end, didn't we? We found him. We did. Did you get him? I probably still have that photo on my phone. Good. That's great.
Starting point is 00:30:05 Can you believe we've had seven months without an NFL game? Crazy, right? Well, good thing that's over. NFL is here, and DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL, is giving you a can't-miss offer for week one. This week, new customers can get $200 in bonus bets instantly when you bet just $5 on any NFL game. DraftKings is hooking everyone up with game day greatness.
Starting point is 00:30:32 All customers can take advantage of two new offers every single game day this September. Check the app to see what you get. Download now and use code REGULATION to sign up. New customers can take home 200 and bonus bets instantly just for betting five bucks that's code regulation only on DraftKings Sportsbook and official sports betting partner the NFL the crown is yours gambling problem call 1-800 visit www.1800gambler.net. In New York, call 877-8-H-O-P-E-N-Y or text H-O-P-E-N-Y, 467369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling.
Starting point is 00:31:15 Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly on behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort, KS, 21 Plus Age Varies by Jurisdiction, Void in Ontario, ccdkng.co slash football for eligibility terms and responsible gaming resources. Bonus bets expire seven days after issuance. Eligibility and deposit restrictions apply. Take on the sun with gear built to last.
Starting point is 00:31:48 Our friends at Shady Rays have you covered for the warm weather ahead with premium polarized shades at an affordable price. Shady Rays is an independent sunglasses company that offers a world-class product that's just as good as any expensive pair we've worn. Durable frames and extremely clear optics for outdoor adventures. And that's just as good as any expensive pair we've worn. Durable frames and extremely clear optics for outdoor adventures. And that's not all. Shady Rays offers the most insane protection in all of eyewear. Every pair of sunglasses is backed by lost and broken replacements.
Starting point is 00:32:15 If you lose or break your pair, even on day one, they told us they will send you a brand new pair, no questions asked. Wear your Shady Rays with confidence, because they have your back long after you purchase. Every purchase supports the Shady Rays with confidence because they have your back long after you purchase. Every purchase supports the Shady Rays Impact Program, which works directly with nonprofits and their communities to empower and make adventure accessible for all walks of life. From childhood cancer patients to young adults with serious health conditions, Shady Rays is making a lasting impact on their lives through sunglasses. If you don't love your Shady Rays, exchange for a new pair or return them for free within 30 days. There's no risk when you shop. Their team always has your back.
Starting point is 00:32:59 Exclusively for our listeners, Shady Rays is giving out their best deal of the season. Go to ShadyRays.com and use code FACE for for 50 off two plus pairs of polarized sunglasses try for yourself the shades rated five stars by over 250 000 people i had one of the most embarrassing moments i've had recently and it was a musician musician related you know about this gavin oh one of the most uh just obnoxious um mistakes i've had that was very embarrassing shanae o'connor died recently yes uh and upon fun learning about her death i attempted to make a joke and it did not land very well um i had learned that she had passed and in the group of people i was with my response was to go well hopefully she doesn't turn into a zombie zombie zombie and then nobody yeah that's delores o'reardon from the critters yeah she's also dead the response was she doesn't sing that song
Starting point is 00:34:05 i have the only thing i've known about shanae o'connor is that she was in the cranberries that was yeah she's not the only that's yeah not at all i learned that yeah it did not lay well i was very embarrassed you're vocally racist you think all irish people are the same yeah get them, Jeff. I know. That's all I know about the Cranberries. I think I probably watched that music video once
Starting point is 00:34:32 at like 1 a.m. in 2008 and just decided that was Sinead O'Connor. Do you now know, though, Sinead O'Connor's big hit? No. Okay. I still don't know anything, really,
Starting point is 00:34:42 outside of the SNL thing. You probably would if you heard it. You'd probably recognize it. I assume so, yeah. She was famous for ripping up the Pope on SNL and ripping up her career in the process, unfortunately. And then also, a couple years ago, didn't she go on like a weird
Starting point is 00:34:56 online tirade on social media about how she couldn't find anybody to have anal sex with her? I don't know about the second one. I think so. What? I thought you were gonna... No, I think so. I know she Googled google it but i don't want to google it you don't want to google shenado kona anal two weeks after she's died i'll do it right now and we'll see what happens but here's what she wrote i'm in desperate need of a very sweet sex starved man the singer wrote and continued i've been repeatedly asked will i do anal sex anal sex let me make it very clear any man i contemplate
Starting point is 00:35:26 has to be into anal sex yes i do anal and in fact i would be deeply unhappy if doing anal wasn't on the menu wow very honest of a okay yeah nothing compares to you no no word on if that had anything to do with her demise but uh yeah anyway that's the joke you could have made thank you that was good really really good musician uh you should you should look up nothing compares to you that was her big song i will look into it you should also look up joe pesci on snl the week after i can't believe that she did that then he said. And she's the one who lost her career. No kidding. Right.
Starting point is 00:36:07 I don't know if it's the times or the place. It just seems so backwards to me. Definitely the time. 1992. It's the times and misogyny and the double standard. It's the same reason Justin Timberlake got off scot-free for the Janet Jackson thing. And she suffered all the fucking consequences. He was just as involved in that moment.
Starting point is 00:36:28 Yeah, it's weird to look at an event and be like, okay, well, nowadays I feel like the other person's career would be over. Like, literally flipped. Wild. It sucks to have your career end over a standard definition titty. Like, we weren't even in an HD era. You mean a thing that, like, 52% of the world has? And exists on over half the people on Earth and is totally normal?
Starting point is 00:36:51 I mean, I guess all men have titties, too, but you know what I'm saying. Like, it's so... We're so backwards about sex and sexuality. It's so fucking weird. Well, it's just... Yeah, like, that's true as well. But, I mean, for it to happen, not even in the HD era. No, Stale, you mean standard death. Yeah, that's true as well but i mean to for it to happen not even in the hd era you mean standard death yeah that's what i meant like i just watched that super bowl i didn't even notice it was sd i couldn't see shit all the tvs are blurry it's fuzzy 1080p that's very noticeable
Starting point is 00:37:18 it was in that really sad window between a high definition film and high definition video where everything just looked like a bag of dog dicks for 20 years man it's funny you you say things looking like a bag of dog dicks for 20 years i i just i was thinking about this this morning when i woke up um i was thinking about like living with gus when about that time like it was around around that time and uh we we would just talk all the time and kind of prognosticate on the future and what it was going to be like and how excited we were to get to the future. Right.
Starting point is 00:37:51 And it's not Amatok. And, uh, and I realized this morning, like I'm, we're, we're here. Like this is the future.
Starting point is 00:37:59 Like off the top of my head. Right. Uh, my doorbell has a camera and a microphone so I can talk to people. My robot vacuums my house. I have a speaker in my kitchen that I can order soda and laundry detergent through. Potatoes could be mass produced in a smiley face.
Starting point is 00:38:16 Exactly. Don't even get me started on cell phones and having all of the world's knowledge in your pocket. There are self-driving cars like the Johnny Cab in Total Recall. And then all the tech that happened and disappeared like Google Glass or like Kinect, which was, you know, dog shit. Or Theranos was bullshit. Or like when Galaxy phones were blowing up in people's pockets.
Starting point is 00:38:37 Or like now we have robocalls. 3D TV was a fucking flash in the pan thing. Like meta VR in general. Like we have all of that now. And it all sucks. was a fucking flash in the pan thing, like meta, VR in general. We have all of that now and it all sucks. The future, I was so excited for the future and it turns out the future clearly was built by the lowest bidder
Starting point is 00:38:56 and is managed by the laziest of people and we have it and it's all like 70% useful and like 30% bullshit and I'm really bummed out that I finally got to the future and it wasn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be. Was it cooler in ways you wouldn't necessarily anticipate? Probably.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Yeah, like I think some of the luxury type stuff is just like so mundane you don't consider it. Yeah, I feel like I always appreciate the fact that I can go from this chair to anywhere in the world without really talking to anyone. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah. When your internet's working and you're not having to reboot.
Starting point is 00:39:37 That's true. You talk about that, Gavin, but you and I sat in a Discord chat room for 45 minutes earlier today trying to film a video with Andrew because and when Andrew got on after 45 minutes and I'm not faulting you in any way, Andrew, but when Andrew got on after 45 minutes of making us wait, his response was, I just tried to do one Google search. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's technology sucks. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:40:07 i'm sorry that's technology sucks i'm sorry 45 minutes of andrew's computer problems in 2023 it's like we are there and there are elements of it that are fucking awesome but most of it just sucks that's fair i always think i might even mention it like whatever you see in a movie that the evil villain or the aliens take over every tv in the world and i can't freaking airplay something from my own phone to my own TV, I think that's the most unrealistic movie trope. There's no way that's coming in clean on all those screens. Or like, I was playing video games last night,
Starting point is 00:40:34 and my controller batteries died. So I put new batteries, new AA batteries, in my Xbox controller, and then my Xbox wouldn't re-sync the controller. Does it every day. Just wouldn't do it. I rebooted my Xbox, wouldn't re-sync it. Took the batteries out, turned my Xbox off, let everything
Starting point is 00:40:54 sit for a few minutes, put it all back together, wouldn't re-sync it. Thought maybe I need to update my fucking controller, but I couldn't figure out, I couldn't get through the Xbox to do it. I just had to reboot my Xbox and my controller like four times, and then eventually it just worked. I didn't do anything
Starting point is 00:41:10 differently, I just did it over and over again until it worked. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's frustrating. Like, stuff that's supposed to work, and usually it works, but then it doesn't, and there's no reason why it doesn't, and there's no rhyme or reason for it. It's just like, no, I know you pay for five gig internet,
Starting point is 00:41:26 but today things are going to be a little slow and there's nothing you can do about it. And you're going to get disconnected from most of your online games. Sorry. It's like my printer. If I use my printer yesterday, it's going to work. But there must be an internal counter
Starting point is 00:41:42 that when it hits like 27 days, it just forgets who it is or where it is. It doesn't know what it's doing. None of my computers can see it. Piece of shit. If I try to use my printer, I have to turn it on and then turn it off and then turn it on again, and then I can print. Whenever I complain about printers, people are like,
Starting point is 00:42:02 what are you printing? Who prints anymore? And it's because of the other terrible crap that i have to print stuff like a bank that needs a certain form filled out printed and signed back like all these ancient government shit where i still have to print stuff it's other people's fault i don't want to print anything i kicked my printer on accident the other day and it killed it. Like it died. Oh, no. It started making this like, and it wouldn't like do anything.
Starting point is 00:42:32 And so I was like, oh, I, you know what? It's 2023. I say the other day, this is maybe three months ago. And I thought, oh, well, it's 2023. I just won't replace it. Who needs a printer? I, four days later, I was at Best Buy buying the same printer over and over because I immediately needed another printer. I made it four fucking days in 2023 without a printer.
Starting point is 00:42:53 I feel like of all electronics that are typically on a desk, a printer is the one appliance that you're most likely to find on someone's floor. So many people are like, ah, this is going down there. I'm shoving it in the corner. 100%. When you said that, I thought I've never had my printer on a desk. It's like never even been a consideration. You want that thing out of sight.
Starting point is 00:43:09 You want to pretend it doesn't exist and you don't have to use it. I fucking hate printers. They're the worst. I have a list of things. I want to hear your list of things. 20,000? I don't...
Starting point is 00:43:21 I wish 20,000. I'll just... How about I'll send them... I'll send them to you, Gavin, and you can read any of these that you think are interesting speaking of reading your lists while you're doing this did uh did you get any response about your uh 19 minutes of ad i got i got an email saying the contract was finalized so i think we're all good i think everyone's happy i think that commercial is going to be great i like that they if they had given you one percent of all anal based 2023 sales it
Starting point is 00:43:51 would probably have been cheaper yeah i did the i kind of did the math it was it's i'm definitely making out with the better end of the deal so i saw you come into the merch channel and go hey can i ask a question real quick yeah i was curious they gave you the number and you went i think what you would have wanted was 2022 money on that yeah yep yeah well you know there was potential for things you know who knows but i'm i'm happy with the end of the deal i bet you they they feel that they got the ass end of it oh oh wait what is this what have you sent me these are uh just things, thoughts I've had. I thought if there are any that you think are worth expanding on,
Starting point is 00:44:30 you can read them. We can talk about them. These are my musings. Not any land animals of great height I'd consider eating, even if it was humane. Toys R Us has done wonders for giraffes. Wait, you just... Wait, you sent your notes to Gavin to see if he could pick something that he thinks we should talk about.
Starting point is 00:44:51 Yes. Yeah, because I don't trust me to determine. I just read the first one. So I think it's a great point. We've talked about that. Jeff, I'd love your input on this. I was thinking about eating land animals, and there's not a lot of tall land animals that I just find appetizing especially a giraffe which I attribute to it must be Toys R Us thing like I don't what do you
Starting point is 00:45:10 consider a tall land animal I guess like bigger than a cow okay so like you're saying like the cow is the tallest cow is like the tallest yeah like a kangaroo doesn't seem great to eat to me like the tallest yeah like a kangaroo doesn't seem great to eat to me ostrich doesn't seem great giraffe certainly doesn't really i would eat ostrich seems like it would probably be pretty good you know i feel like it would be really tough that's a tough meat in my mind you wouldn't want to just eat a big a big wing i don't think there's a lot of meat on that wing i think you got a lot of feather i think that's a deceptive cut of meat an ostrich wing you think an ostrich wing is less impressive than a chicken wing yeah well well that's if you keep reading the notes there's some chicken takes in there oh sorry good lord schneider connor was not in the cranberries camel would you eat a camel no that doesn't
Starting point is 00:45:59 say i would i would eat a camel be gold right camel seems like it would be probably fine what would the hump be like probably fat like a fatty like a wagyu you know what i mean like a real marble cut yeah how many sundays in my life would cloud as it's a thought i wonder how many sundays were actually sunny oh you could find that out because it's sunday yeah that's that out. Because it's Sunday. Yeah, that's... A lot of these are things like notes that I mean to do research on later.
Starting point is 00:46:30 These are a lot of late night thoughts. I'm like that all the time where I'll be like, wait, October is 8. Like, Oct is 8, but it's the 10th month. December should be 10. And I'm a thought...
Starting point is 00:46:40 But it's never interesting enough to Google why. But if you write them all down and hand them to someone and force them to read them, it's content, baby. September should be the seventh month. Don't know why it isn't. This is one of my chicken takes. If I were to be reincarnated, coming back as a chicken would be the absolute worst. If I ever returned back to human, it would ruin the best meat.
Starting point is 00:47:04 And as a chicken I'd have to walk around knowing how goddamn delicious I was do you think chicken is the best meat I do my opinion a Homeless chicken in the eyes of the people is one like if you escape like I don't if I was a chicken and I escaped A situation if I see a chicken on the street. I never assumed that chicken is in need of further help I assumed that that chicken has gotten away from a bad situation. Is this before or after it's crossed the road? This is probably before, I'd assume.
Starting point is 00:47:32 Not after. It's dangerous when they cross after. I don't think chicken is the best meat. I like it a lot. You don't? What do you think is the best meat? I mean, I guess pork is the most versatile. You get the most variety out of it.
Starting point is 00:47:48 But I love a fucking really awesome steak. Don't get me wrong. I love chicken. I feel like I eat more chicken than red meats. Chicken is also better leftovers. Yeah, chicken's good. Better leftover, and I feel like better variety of what it could be it's better steak is delicious but there's like 10 chicken is a depth meat you got chicken wings chicken
Starting point is 00:48:14 parm it's a wing the i think that yeah those two things i think that uh i think that the only cold meat that tastes better than chicken would maybe be ham. Oh, you are a ham fan. Steak's not great cold. No, steak is not great cold. But ham is pretty fucking, like a good slap of ham, cold slap of... I like those big old fat salami slices with like pepper around the rim. I'm with you. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:43 Because that's like all the, that's like so much, if you're a little bit hungry and you want a blast of flavor without eating too much food, it's an absolute go-to. What animals is a salami? That's pork, right? That's gotta be the hump of the camel.
Starting point is 00:48:58 That's the giraffe's neck. If you could be reincarnated as an animal, do you think you'd pick something like domestic, like a an animal what do you think you'd pick something like domestic like a chicken or you think you like really get out there with it i'd probably want to be my own cat i want to be a bird i have such nice little lives yeah a cat is i feel like top cats and dogs i feel like are top picks in that situation cat lives longer well it depends on if it's an indoor cat or an outdoor cat. I guess your cats are indoor cats.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Yeah. I think a bird, I want to be like a falcon. Got some power to you. You just got ultimate freedom. Just go where the fuck you want to go. And then all you do all day long is shit on stuff below you, literally and figuratively. Like you just judge everything below you and make fun of it and then also just crap on all of it because like we said after
Starting point is 00:49:49 mexico the earth is nothing but a bird toilet that really does feel like your best life like i think you nailed it for you yeah bird makes sense birds of prey have the biggest amount of options too like they can eat from the air they can eat they can dive and. Like they can eat from the air. They can eat, they can dive and get fish. They can eat from the land. It's whatever they feel like. They can get the fuck out of Dodge real fast if they're not feeling it. If it's too cold
Starting point is 00:50:11 and they want to go summer or winter somewhere else, they just do it. And they can fly like, you can, like birds fly across the fucking ocean
Starting point is 00:50:19 to migrate and they don't care. They're just like, they just never stop. It's fucking wild. And they don't even have to talk to anyone. That's true.
Starting point is 00:50:27 That is a great point. They're really good at formations. That's true. They're very disciplined. Before we wrap up, don't let me forget, I had an idea for a piece of supplemental content I want to throw you guys away.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Why don't you just say it right now? Oh, I didn't know if we were done with your notes or not. Well, it's up to Gavin. Are we done with the notes? I've not read them all. I've just been... I mean, do you want me to look through them and not pay attention to this? Give me one more. Just like kind of scroll or look or whatever.
Starting point is 00:50:57 One more good one. The person who named the Life Fest was a bit full of themselves. Okay. Well, it's just... It's just a flotation device like it's not a life belt it's a seat belt like the life vest seems a little like calm down you're floating you're getting people to float i feel like all of these could start or end with you saying folks and then throwing it out there this is i've expanded life jacket takes it's typically what'll happen is i'll have one thought and then it will chain into like six
Starting point is 00:51:31 things like the the life jacket the next thing i wrote down in that was the life jacket segment when you're going a plane always felt really silly to me because the idea of like if the plane is crashing at 35 000 feet i'm not like i'm never gonna be like well thank god we got the flotation out of the way we do not need to worry about that like that is just so far down the list of priorities as far as what i'm thinking about in terms of survivability it just seems unnecessary i need to drag all my pointless thoughts into a document for you as well because i've got so many on my list that I know I'm never going to bring up. Well, like this one I'm about to bring up. I feel like there should be more descriptive death terms
Starting point is 00:52:13 that don't explain the death. Like dying from exposure or consumption. They don't tell you anything about what happened, but they're known words for ways to die. He died of inflation. What? Inflation these days is getting ridiculous. He died of deconsecration.
Starting point is 00:52:35 I feel that way about manslaughter. Manslaughter always just whenever it's like said in my head, it's like the most slasher movie thing. It's terrible. Like way cooler than accidentally elbowing someone out of a window which is what manslaughter could be i guess the first time i ever read manslaughter i read it in a newspaper when i was a little kid and i thought it said man's laughter and i thought a dude went to jail for that was the fucking funniest thing ever and my mom had to explain it to me what was the joke that's what i was like i don't get it my mom had to explain having to explain what manslaughter is because your kid thought it was man's laughter i don't i think i just give
Starting point is 00:53:20 them man's laughter i think i just let you think that that's what happened i don't think i go into manslaughter that's probably where it all went wrong for me my mom my mom she zigged when i may have been safer for her to zag i used to play this game with my friends when we're walking to school if anyone was ever walking the other way we'd play this game called punch lining where i would pretend i would pretend like i was at the end of a really funny joke and right as we'd walk past the people coming the other way I'd like deliver the punchline and all my friends would laugh but it wasn't for any joke I would just make up punchlines
Starting point is 00:53:53 like I'd just walk past someone and be like that's not a tree, that's my wife and we'd all go ah ha ha ha like little freaks on the way to school and it's like so weird how my brain has lost the ability to school. It's like so weird how my brain has lost the ability to come up with like dumb kid ideas.
Starting point is 00:54:10 I could never come up with that. We would do this thing in the army in basic in journalism school where you would get like, you'd be hanging out with like three or four people and you'd go, hey, here's what we're going to do.
Starting point is 00:54:20 And you'd explain what you're going to do. I would do this all the time. And then like right as a fourth person who isn't involved would come up, you would start to tell a joke and the joke would be something like, so anyway, there was this penguin and he was in a bathtub and he was filling it up with water. He was trying to take a bath.
Starting point is 00:54:35 Right. And, uh, but he kept slipping into the water. And every time he'd slip into the water, like right as his head would go under the water, he would go, no soap radio,
Starting point is 00:54:42 no soap radio. And then everybody would laugh, laugh, laugh. And the one person would be like, uh, you'd see if you could get them to laugh and then and then make fun of them mercilessly when they did you piece of shit that's not even a real joke it was surprisingly fun coming up with punch lines to jokes that didn't exist you should do it i want a list next time we record i want at least one
Starting point is 00:55:10 what if you here's what we do gavin you give us a list of punch lines and then we'll take that list and we'll go into the lab and we'll write the setup for the punchlines and then we'll present it to you. That's fun. That's phenomenal. I think it's a great idea. All right. How many punchlines do you need?
Starting point is 00:55:30 Five. Five for next time? You want to do five? And then Andrew, we each come up with five setups. Sure. Okay. I like this idea. I think it'd be fun.
Starting point is 00:55:40 So then it won't be episode 171. You'll present the punchlines and then 172, we'll have the setups for it. Okay. Wow. We got some stuff in the mix now. We do. Let me tell you about an idea I had for a new piece of supplemental content.
Starting point is 00:55:56 Okay. I have still been kind of relishing in how much fun Summer of 98 has been. And the idea of pivoting, not really away from drafts, but it's kind of like draft adjacent. We were developing our definitive playlists. And that was so much fun.
Starting point is 00:56:12 I had this idea today. What if we made a, what if we did a piece of supplemental content very similar to our Summer of 98 music playlist, but instead of picking the music of 98, we pick the five, we eat or four, we each pick the four or five worst songs we've ever heard and we try to create the worst playlist of all time
Starting point is 00:56:30 that's great that's such a good idea and are we talking bad bad or good or like whatever you hate like i'll tell you right now okay a strong candidate for me would be the proclaimers i would walk 500 miles i would i i would Miles. I would like to go back in time and stop them from making that song. The thing is, I've listened to bad songs so much that I think I end up liking them. Like, I would actually go out and listen to Darude Sandstorm right now, unironically.
Starting point is 00:56:57 Yeah. No, but for me, there are songs that definitely, I just, I'm not a fan. Just suck. You know, kind of like how the dude hates the Eagles in Big Lebowski. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:08 All right. Sometimes it might not even be based purely on the song. It could be influenced by the music video. Could be different reasons. You just might have a personal relationship to that song that makes you hate it. Mm-hmm. I mean, it's like one man's trash
Starting point is 00:57:19 is another man's treasure, right? So it's like, we're going to pick songs that we hate that other people think are absolute bangers and vice versa yeah i just think it'll be interesting to see a a playlist that is cumulatively all the things that we like the least and i know eric's gonna have very strong opinions as a big music fan so it's gonna be fun i think it's a really good idea i really like this i think we're gonna get a lot of hate from uh people who like these songs but i feel like that's just gonna have to be a part of it yeah i mean we're going to get a lot of hate from people who like these songs, but I feel like that's just going to have to be a part of it. Yeah, I mean, we're going to be giving a lot of hate.
Starting point is 00:57:53 I think Jeff isn't worried about the opinions of people who like the song, I Would Walk 500 Miles. So I think he's going to be all right. I also think that if you're out there and you're a regulation listener or a comment lever and it's in your like all time 20 greatest songs and it's on my all time 20 shittiest songs, I think we can probably overcome that together and still be decent to each other and have an okay. Like, I don't think it needs to be a deal breaker between between us.
Starting point is 00:58:19 I think it's okay. Imagine, imagine if it was. The Proclaimers! I'm at a claim that I'm never listening to this podcast. I'm going to walk 500 miles to kick your ass. Speaking of bangers, Jeff, you should check your door. There's a package. What?
Starting point is 00:58:38 Okay, hold on. I'll be right back. Is that why the door opened earlier? Yeah, what the fuck? You think his butt cream's arrived already? What is about to happen? Who knows? Why don't I have a package?
Starting point is 00:58:52 You know, I should have, actually. You're right. That's on me. I don't have your address saved. That's fair. That's why. So either Andrew or Gracie is a goddamn magician. I'll tell you that right now.
Starting point is 00:59:04 What happened? That's impressive. Hold on. Gracie said, it ain't me. That's impressive. Do you have potato smiles? Do you have fucking potato smiles? Okay, hold on. No!
Starting point is 00:59:21 The most aggressive anyone's ever asked that. Put it in Slack. No. I'm going to be eating potato smiles for dinner, apparently. Holy shit. It's like little happy hash browns. That's so crazy. And it costs you like $1,000 to do that?
Starting point is 00:59:39 That's awesome. $132, I think. That's awesome, dude. You're welcome. Was that you, Andrew, I'm assuming? It was. Thank you so much for my potato smiles. Dude, you've got that moving.
Starting point is 00:59:48 Dude, you've put a flesh smile on my face. To take us out of the episode, will you open that bag and eat one right now? Frozen? No. Don't ruin potato smiles immediately. I think you should try it. A frozen fry is awful. Hold on. Fries uh I'd fries don't cool. Well. You need to have those hot
Starting point is 01:00:10 It's a big drop off in quality in my experience. All right. Can you see my camera? Okay? Yeah, you look good, man Where am I NBA summer league hat you guys were there sloppy Joe's shirt? Yeah, sloppy Joe's so it's just my travel clothes this year all right it's a it's pretty happy little face yeah oh the first product just go on it for a little while and this is what makes Jeff have his next root canal. Nick came back and said what the fuck? I almost threw up a little bit. There's a lot going on.
Starting point is 01:00:56 But it's good. I'm going to try it thawed and heated and I bet it'll be even better. It will be. That's great. Enjoy your smiles. I'm excited. We have a lot coming out for this show. That's great. Enjoy your smiles. I'm excited. We have a lot coming out for this show. There's so much happening. I'm very excited with where F*** Face is at and where we're going with it.
Starting point is 01:01:12 Did Jeff leave? Yeah, he's out of here. I mean, he hung up. Yeah. Oh, hey, Jeff. What's up? He left on accident. Do you want to do the outro
Starting point is 01:01:19 since we're still not done? You were saying we have a lot coming up for the show. I missed that part. Yeah, I was saying that I'm excited about the future of F*** Face and some stuff we have coming up that we can't talk about yet. Yeah, we've got some stuff coming out that we can't talk about yet, but that we're very excited about. Eric's right. But there is
Starting point is 01:01:34 some stuff we can talk about that we hope you'll check out and enjoy. I don't know if you're aware, but every Monday or damn near every Monday at 4 p.m. Central Time, Eric and Emily and I put on the F*** Face Break Show where we open up all manner of cards from all kinds of things. And then we build the definitive collection, the ultimate card collection, the greatest collection of cards of all time. From the funny to the weird to the esoteric to the legitimate.
Starting point is 01:02:06 Then, of course, we also do the podcast, the F*** Face podcast you're listening to right now. You seem to be aware of it. And don't forget about So Alright. It's a podcast where I say stuff and Gavin and Andrew don't interrupt me. So it's probably pretty boring. And then we have that first only show coming out, F*** Face Off.
Starting point is 01:02:22 And then we have... Oh, by the way, if you miss the live stream of The Break Show, it ends up on the Rooster Teeth site out face off and then we have oh by the way if you miss the live stream of the break show we it ends up on the roosterteeth site on fridays and then on youtube on saturdays and then just about every uh every thursday or friday these days we have a piece of supplemental content that comes out not every week friday saturday friday saturday but damn near and uh yeah and then some and then some even other stuff on top of that. We're very, very, very, very busy and excited. We have a bunch of supplemental that's in the chamber that we're ready to fire off over the next few weeks.
Starting point is 01:02:50 So go subscribe on YouTube and watch that there or on the Rooster Teeth site. And then also stay tuned because we have some other stuff that we have coming up. I just had the best idea. Okay. You guys know how a potato gun exists? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:03 What if we got a potato gun exists yeah what if we got a potato gun and then we built a form that out of like i don't know almost like a cookie cutter or something that's a smiley face and then we shot potatoes into it with the potato gun and tried to create smiles like our own potato smiles i'm in i'll bring over the old high-speed camera for that. Okay. Great. Thank you. Andrew, what would your podcast be called?
Starting point is 01:03:28 The first permanent potato patches on U.S. soil were established in 1719 near Londonderry, New Hampshire by Scottish-Irish immigrants. Please subscribe. So your podcast would be called The Potato Patch? So your podcast would be called The Potato Patch? No, it would be called The First Permanent Potato Patches on U.S. Soil were established in 1719 near Londonderry, New Hampshire by Scottish-Irish immigrants. Please subscribe. What's the longest song name of all time?
Starting point is 01:03:58 The First Permanent Potato Patches on U.S. Soil were established in 1719. Potato patches on the soil were established. 1719. The longest song title is Sufjan Stevens. The Blackhawk
Starting point is 01:04:10 War or how to demolish an entire civilization and still feel good about yourself in the morning or we apologize for the inconvenience but
Starting point is 01:04:17 you're going to have to leave now or I have fought the big knives and will continue to fight them until they are off our lands. Thanks for listening
Starting point is 01:04:23 to another episode of the podcast. We'll see you next week for more potato knives and we'll continue to fight them until they are off our lands. Thanks for listening to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. We'll see you next week for more potato facts and some punchlines. The Potato Museum in Washington, D.C. contains 2,000 potato artifacts. You're going to blow all of our
Starting point is 01:04:38 good, you're going to use up all of our good potato facts. 2008 was the U.N. International Year of the Potato. Bye! Alright, let's cut. August 13th is National Potato Day. Cut, cut. No more. Hey, guys.
Starting point is 01:04:50 Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. How do you cook your smiley fries? Andrew's face is everywhere. The thumbstick challenge has begun. What turned Nick? Zimmer is in the Hall of Fame. Where would the F*** Face crews go? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. What turned Nick? Zimmer is in the Hall of Fame. Where would the F*** Face Cruise go?
Starting point is 01:05:05 And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.