F**kface - Potato Talk // Bald Concert Goers [170]
Episode Date: September 6, 2023Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew are STILL talking about potatoes… but also how Andrew’s never tried eggs, ketchup brands, sports names, Andrew’s stalker, Stevie Nicks, people who video entire concerts,... how reflective bald heads are, the most appetizing land animals, compiling a worst songs ever playlist, and Geoff receives a surprise gift mid episode. Sponsored by Shady Rays http://shadyrays.com and use code FACE , DraftKings Sportsbook Download the DraftKings sportsbook app now and use code REGULATION to sign up. New customers can take home $200 in bonus bets when they bet just $5. Subscribe to Geoff's new podcast https://link.chtbl.com/soalright Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast.
This is episode 170 of season volume.
My name is Jeff Fransman. I know it's more potassium than a banana.
And Gavin Free.
Right out the gate,
we are, as we've previously discussed,
we are a vegetable podcast.
We have some interesting vegetable facts for you.
This episode, we're going to focus on potatoes.
Andrew, what's your potato fact?
Russet Burbank has been around since 1872.
That's two different facts.
You have two facts?
A potato has more potassium in it than a banana.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That's a fact.
Okay.
Eric, what's your potato fact?
My potato fact is that PepsiCo sued some Indian farmers
for cultivating the FC5 potato variety,
accusing growers of infringing on their potato patent.
Pepsi?
Pepsi.
Because they own Lays.
Oh.
Yeah, you don't think about the conglomerate.
Yeah.
So that's just like a filing cabinet of patents,
and then they get to pee,
and it's just a shitload of different potato ones?
I guess so.
Yeah.
They get to pee.
It's all alphabetical in a drawer.
Oh, fuck.
I got to go in the pee?
It's going to take me all day to get past the potatoes.
Nick, what's your Pepsi or potato-related fact?
Pepsi?
An eight-ounce baked or boiled potato has only about 100 calories
before you add delicious things like sour cream, cheese, and bacon to it.
I agree with some of those ingredients.
Andrew, how about you? Or no,
the other one. Gavin, how about you? A potato has
more potassium in it than a banana.
A potato, when it's gone green,
has a buildup of a toxin
that can be very harmful to animals
and humans. It kills over
.25 people a year.
Jesus. That was almost
my fact.
I genuinely almost picked poison
potato fact. I had a
feeling that it was, Gavin was
going to pick that fact because Gavin always
gravitates to things that can kill you.
It was an important part of my fruit
and veg days to get rid of the green potatoes
from the shelf. Between 1865
and 1983, 30 people died from green potatoes.
Wow.
My fact is there is such a thing as a half tomato, half potato called the tomtato, also
known as the pomato.
The tomtato is the product of a grafted potato plant and tomato plant, an efficient strategy that grows both potatoes and tomatoes,
and there is little to no effect on the quality.
If this is your first time listening to F*** Face,
we do talk about potatoes at the beginning of every episode,
so stay tuned.
Do you think Dr. Seuss killed anybody with the green potato?
Because they did a whole green eggs and ham, right?
Yes.
So that seems fun. Did he have green spots? No they did a whole green eggs and ham, right? Yes. So, like, that seems fun.
Did he have green spots?
No, but I'm just saying, like, if green eggs and ham are great,
then why wouldn't a green potato be great?
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
You were a kid at one point.
Uh-huh.
You enjoyed Dr. Seuss, as I did.
I think, I assume we all did.
Did you ever eat green eggs after, like, eating...
I've never had eggs.
Eating green...
Reading green eggs and ham never made me want to eat green eggs after like I've never had reading green reading green eggs
and ham never made me want to eat green eggs.
It made me want to avoid green eggs.
I love how many times in this podcast a conversation about eggs just gets completely shut down
by Andrew having never had an egg.
I forgot that you never had eggs.
I don't do we have to do something.
Is that something we have to fix?
At some point, it's probably a good idea.
Probably open up a lot of doors for me.
Well, what format of egg do you think you'd go for?
I feel like I've scrambled.
I feel like I've definitely had scrambled eggs and, like, other things, like fried rice,
but, like, I've never just had scrambled eggs.
Have you had pasta?
Ooh.
Yeah?
Here's what we should do.
We should prepare eggs for Andrew in all the common ways.
Over easy, over meat, sunny side up, scrambled, quiche, hard boiled, fried, poached.
Quiche.
Yeah, in a quiche, like a bunch of eggs in a thing.
It's mostly egg, though.
I'm just thinking of ways people eat eggs, the most common ways people eat eggs.
And then let him explore.
I like that.
Let him find the right egg for him.
Eggs for Andrew?
Yeah.
That's a good idea.
Do you know who else had a good idea?
The Parker brothers in 1903 had a game called The Potato Race.
It's another good idea.
Should we all play it find a coffee the potato rice
what do you think it is oh it's probably uh like snakes and ladders but potatoes
potatoes and bags go up the potato down the bag that would be my guess I guess. Uh, I don't know.
Up the potato.
Well,
you're at,
you're all acting like that's fucking nonsensical when the base game is
snakes and ladders.
Like that fucking makes sense.
Slide down the snakes.
Climbing up the ladder is pretty logical,
but the snake part.
Oh,
see,
it's, it's sort of, you you know snakes and ladders was a straight
shot Jeff found
hot potato which is
not what we're talking about but
is a potato based game
dude they look awesome look at this one
look at this other version of it yeah that looks
pretty cool those kids are having the time of their life
throwing a potato in the air those look
a lot cooler the hot potato games than potato race which just is a straight board i don't understand
is it just whoever can roll 25 first like what is i really that doesn't seem like a good board
with no twists or turns and just go along and collect your potatoes my son what if you have to bake a potato every
time you land on a potato there's like a 45 minute time penalty essentially every time
you gotta preheat the oven i'm kind of on board for that but i don't i don't even i don't see
where the game is eric you're famously uh known for hating board games i I get it. If this is your point of reference.
Yep.
Yeah.
Potato Race is my point of reference.
I assume so.
Gavin, are there board games in the UK
that we just never got here in the US
and you're like,
oh, this would be a good one?
What, like Cluedo?
It's just Cluedo, right?
Yeah.
It wasn't just...
Yeah.
That wasn't fun.
I thought there should... there has to be.
There has to be real answers to that.
I have discovered something in the process of looking at potatoes.
What have you discovered?
Have you guys?
Is it that in 1974, Eric Jenkins grew 370 pounds from a single potato point?
No, it's that there's something called potato smiles you can buy.
Yeah, I had those for dinner almost every night.
I would have those and I'd have turkey dinosaurs.
And that was the ultimate dinner on like a Thursday night.
You've never seen a potato smile, Jeff?
No, never in my life have I seen a McCain potato smile.
I put ketchup in the ice.
What?
Eric, are you familiar with this?
Am I crazy?
Eric, are you familiar with this?
Am I crazy?
I am only aware of these because I had them in Japan when I went to a fast food place
and they had potato smiley things.
So it's okay.
It's the only reason I had them.
Nick, are you familiar with this at all?
Nick isn't here.
Oh, right.
He had to leave.
Did you have them with these?
Yeah, absolutely.
Dino nuggets and big smiley potatoes. That's fine. Yeah. Dude, I've never, right. He had to leave. Did you have him with these? Yeah, absolutely.
Dino nuggets and big smiley potatoes.
That's fine.
That's a really fun meal.
Never.
If I had, dude, I'm mad now.
I'm mad that smiley potatoes have existed my whole life and I haven't been eating them daily.
You could go to a store right now.
If you squeeze ketchup on the plate first
and then smushed a smiley down into the ketchup,
it would ooze out of the mouth and eyes.
I bet you can't.
Let me look at potato smiles.
I mean, Gracie said that potato smiles
were served at her public schools.
Wow.
Yeah.
I checked.
All right, well, here you go.
I checked.
H-E-B does not sell potatoes.
Doesn't sell potato smiles.
At all?
In any form?
No.
They have no potato paws?
They have potatoes. No potato frowns. They got nothing? Yeah, they no they have no potato pals they have potatoes they got
nothing yeah they don't have any potato faces whatsoever it's not something that i ever
encountered i mean gracie's saying walmart and i found it at walmart i guess so i don't do my
grocery shopping at walmart but maybe i should start you should if it's the fucking fuck heb
if they don't have potato smiles yeah fuck heb yeahE-B yeah I'll say it I'll say it again fuck H-E-B Nick you can isolate that
when you come back from your meeting can we sell face potato frowns no the answer is no
can we sell sad potatoes yeah a bunch of frowns in a bag? The answer is no. Pissed potatoes.
Walmart doesn't really have them either.
They have one bag for $132 that says McCain or Ida smiles fun shaped potatoes.
Four pounds, six per case.
You got to buy it by the case.
It's not like you're getting individual servings here.
At least on Walmart.com. That's what it's like to ship stuff to Andrew.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, audience.
Have you eaten
potato smiles?
How have I not heard of this?
They're all...
I don't know.
They're all like 19,
so they've all eaten
these potato smiles.
Good Lord.
Must have been
invented after me.
Definitely.
Oh, for sure.
Wow.
Gracie found them
for $3.92.
I'm just saying.
That's the same.
Should we have a bowl
of them for when we do the chips?
It's like a palate cleanser.
What?
I mean, Jeff would love that.
Yeah. Can we do that?
Gracie, I need you to buy potato
smileys for Monday. Thank you.
And maybe some ketchup.
Thank you, Gracie. Yeah, we'll definitely need
some ketchup.
But just like regular ketchup.
We don't need fancy ketchup or like spicy ketchup or anything like that.
Yeah.
Yeah, just like bog standard ketchup.
We overcomplicate ketchup lately.
I'm not into it.
Really?
Yeah.
You're not a fan of...
Did you ever try the glitter ketchup?
No, I'm a ketchup purist.
No.
What? Are you a Heinz guy, I No. I'm a ketchup purist. No. What?
Are you a Heinz guy, I assume?
I don't give a shit.
I don't care about brand.
I have no ketchup brand loyalty.
None.
No.
Why would I care?
I'm shocked.
There are people in Canada that are very passionate about ketchup.
What is a...
What's a beloved ketchup in Canada?
Well, it used to be
heinz was obviously like the leader but then they closed a bunch of plants or whatever i believe
in canada and then french's came in and made a bunch of like canadian ketchup products and so
french is the sort of viewed as like the loyal if you if you want to be a canadian loyalist you're french's ketchup consumer oh
interesting as opposed to had french's ketchup before it's not great i think heinz is a superior
product in every way do you like the french's mustard um i like yeah but like i don't use
mustard on a lot of things big honey mustard, not a huge just base mustard guy.
I like Coleman's.
Coleman's is good.
Yeah, it's the type of mustard that's,
if you have too much of it,
it's like someone's sticking their fingers up your nose.
Really?
Yeah.
Really powerful.
Well, I'm glad you discovered Smile Potatoes, Jeff.
I am too, yeah.
You didn't know.
As a man of culture,
I'm surprised that this has snuck
past you i think it's just one of those things where uh my fucking front door just opened up on
its own it's a gentle ghost that's the kind of thing you hear it's like someone's last sentence
hold on a second i'll be if you hear a gunshot call the police
would we be able to hear it with the noise cancel yeah my noise suppression would Hold on a second. If you hear a gunshot, call the police.
Would we be able to hear it with the noise canceling?
Yeah, my noise suppression would.
Now, Gavin, when you call the police,
are you going to open with talk to me and they're going to be like, you called me?
What are you talking about?
Do you know what?
I have a sports related note on my phone.
Do you?
Really?
I don't think I've ever had anything sport related
ever to talk about.
Okay, what you got? I feel bad that Jeff's gonna
miss this. Yep. We can fill him in.
Yeah. Okay. Alright, I'm alive.
Who do you think has
the most sportsman name
in entertainment, but is in fact
not anything to do with sports?
Oh.
Tom Cruise could be a great surfer.
I picked Wayne Brady.
Are you thinking like Tom Brady?
Yeah, that just sounds really American and spoily.
Do they have to be alive today or can it be somebody from the past?
Yeah, it could be anyone.
Rock Hudson.
Yeah, great baseball.
That's a really good baseball player.
Yeah.
This is a tough
question Tom Cruise is
immediate um
hmm do you have any other
answers I think
Charlie Chaplin is a good baseball name
oh
the double
cha
he feels like he'd steal a lot of bases yep that would be his thing Oh. The double ch. Yeah.
He feels like he'd steal a lot of bases.
Yep.
But that would be his thing.
Mm-hmm.
Randy Quaid also feels like... Oh, that's a good one.
That's a great one.
Randy Quaid's a great one.
Yeah.
Maybe on the next break show,
if we get some non-sport-themed cards to open,
we can make a sports pile.
A sport, not sport pile.
A sport, not sport pile.
Kevin Hart. I feel like Kevin Hart is a good sports name.
That is pretty good.
That is really good.
It's hard for me to get out of the baseball mindset. I love baseball.
I have the best one.
Okay.
Cheech Marin.
Oh, that's a great.
Oh, yeah.
Cheech is like the perfect baseball.
And it's got the ch sounds that Eric likes.
Two of them.
Yeah.
Yep.
I like Dean Cain as an Olympic wrestler.
Dude, Dean Cain was on the tip of my tongue.
That's a great one.
Yeah.
Yep.
Yeah.
I had a very f*** face evening recently. I could tell you guys about. Please Yeah. I had a very f***ing face evening recently.
I could tell you guys about.
Please do.
I had a real double whammy.
I, uh...
So I bought myself a refurbished laptop recently.
Very cheap.
So I have that.
I've been enjoying that.
I've been enjoying...
I've been laying in bed at nights,
filling the 20,000 list.
That's been part of my routine recently.
How many are you getting down each night?
I'm trying to hit around 150 per night is my goal.
And it's surprisingly difficult because I'm just trying to think of things off the top of my head.
And the thing notifies me if it's a duplicate or not.
And there's nothing worse than hitting a duplicate.
Somebody in the community made a spreadsheet that did that.
And thank you, whoever you are. I really
appreciate it.
So how many is on the list?
Well, you know, I like to leave it a surprise.
Maybe it's close, maybe it's not. Who knows?
Yeah, maybe it's not. It'll just appear.
When you complete the list,
should we sell a poster that's just Andrew's
20,000 things, and it just has it all
on it? Here's what we should do.
We should have Andrew start the print at the beginning of an episode and see if it finishes all on it. Here's what we should do. We should have Andrew start the print
at the beginning of an episode and see if it finishes
by the end. That's a great idea.
I like that idea. But anyway. Is poster
on the list? No.
I'll write that down right now.
Poster. 19,999
things to go. So
no. I got way more than that.
So I've been doing that. That's been
my bedside ritual i've been we
talked about the last episode we've been we've all been excited or at least jeff and i have
happy walking around filled with energy i found it difficult to sleep at a reasonable hour recently
just because i've been so excited and just like happy um and the other night i finally it was
like 10 o'clock, and I was like,
I'm actually really tired.
Like, I can go to bed.
This might actually be the thing
that shifts my sleep schedule.
This is perfect,
and so I walked to bed,
and I accidentally,
I forgot that I put my laptop
at the side of the bed.
It's in the dark.
I hit my laptop with my foot.
It hits my end table table and for my birthday
as you guys know i like listening to rain rain music as a birthday gift i was giving us a given
a small fountain which has been on my bedside table and it takes two gerblers of water so i
kick my laptop hits the table my fountain falls off of the end table,
pours two gerblers worth of water all over the floor.
I am livid.
I was so cozy.
I was so ready to go to bed.
And now I have two liters of water all over my laptop
and just the floor in general.
So I have to go to the laundry room, get towels.
I fix everything.
And then through my window, I'm finally, everything's clear. I'm finally in bed. I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ. I woke up. I'm not nearly as sleepy as I was, but maybe I could still fall asleep. And I look through at 1, woke up at 2, and I noticed that there was a flashlight through my door, like in sort of a forested area I could see.
And I thought, huh, that's weird, but it's fucking, it's late, and I'm going to mind my own business.
So I'm just going to go back to sleep.
So I go back to sleep.
I wake up like at 2.30, and I look through my door again and there's small
remnants of a fire.
Somebody lit a fire between the time I fell asleep and woke up and it's just
going out now like an LA a fire.
And I'm looking at,
I'm like,
what do I,
do I call the cops?
Cause it goes out within like a minute or two of it happening.
Nobody is there.
I'm assuming whoever had the light lit the fire and then did whatever and left.
And I just caught the end of it.
And I kind of felt like I should call 911.
But at the same time, it's like, what do I report?
Like, there's not a fire.
There's the remnants of like, I didn't know what to call it.
And it was so late.
So I didn't.
So I ignored it.
And was it just some woods like it wasn't anyone's land no it was yeah it's just like a grass area i could see through from my bed through the door what time what time is this this is like
2 30 a.m so it's odd it's a strange you what you have is a mystery now you're gonna have to stake
out every night at 2 30 to see if they come back and do it again so that's the thing so i knock over all my water it's over my ipad it's on the floor
i'm laying in bed and i see a light that isn't quite the same but it's pretty close and i think
you gotta be fucking kidding me like i am ready to go to bed but now i got this fucker with a
light out there again and i just got to stare them down and see
if they do anything and if another fire gets lit I'll have to immediately call 9-1-1 so I'm just
sitting there for like 30 minutes and I'm staring at this light and it's just kind of hanging out
it's in around the same spot that the fire was and I'm just I'm waiting I'm getting progressively annoyed and I decide like oh like
what if I accidentally fall asleep I'm feeling stress my partner was still awake at this time
so I texted my partner like hey just so you know I think the light is out there again I told you
about um it's you might be able to see it in the room you're in through the window if you look
it's in this direction. And so they,
they text me back.
I don't see anything.
Where is it?
And I,
I was like,
it's,
it's in this,
you know what?
I'm just going to,
I'll just take a picture of what I'm looking at and I'll send it to you.
And then that way they'll,
they'll know where to look.
So I take photo.
I take the photo.
My flash is on.
I'm trying to be covert.
My entire wall just goes bright and i'm like oh fuck
and then it does the flicker i'm gonna this is it for for the public to see but i'll post in our
chat that's the photo i realize upon taking the photo that i have not been having a stare down
with a man with a flashlight that it is in fact a parked car with a street
light reflecting off of it that i interpreted at a light as a light at a distance i had like a 40
minute stare down in bed with a parked car and then i had to explain i'm an idiot it's not just
it's fine don't worry about it it's just a car did you keep
did you send that picture yes yes i did because i couldn't i couldn't make out what it was and
that zoomed in all the way on my phone and i was like wait a second when i looked at the flash photo
this isn't that's just a vehicle i'm an idiot what if. What if there was somebody in that car staking
you out the whole time, though? Oh,
shit. Yeah. Like, what's
that car doing there? Is it there all the time?
No, it's an unusual car.
Cars aren't typically parked there. Yeah,
there you go. Look, it was the only thing I could rent, alright?
I think it's pretty impressive that
you had a rivalry with a car for more than
half an hour. I did.
Really impressive.
Would you say the car won?
Yeah, I would definitely say the car won.
What made you get up to go and knock everything over?
No, that was me going to bed.
I was at my desk and I decided it's time for sleep.
I'm actually tired.
This is great.
I accidentally kicked the laptop hits the
end table fountain goes over the side water everywhere such a precarious place to keep
running war is that was the laptop was the laptop okay i've been scared to try it since that's
happened wait you haven't tried it you don't know not since that has happened no what have you been
doing with it like you don't even turn it on if it's wet you want to leave it to dry out first before trying i do that but also like i just don't it's it's like
schrodinger's cat or whatever currently i don't know if it's broken and as long as i don't check
it it's still working it's not broken until you check that it's broken so exactly yeah yeah i have a lot of friendships like that your laptop is like andrew schrodinger's cat
this is i i have to know if okay if it works or doesn't can you just let us know when you
actually try it i will i'm so curious but don't be in a hurry no yeah you don't have to be in a
hurry let your cat sleep or exist or don't exist or whatever you need speaking of uh speaking of flash i saw i saw the the funniest fucking thing
like two nights ago uh emily and i went and saw stevie nicks perform in austin oh shit she had a
concert at the moody center and uh i'm okay with stevie nicks i like her music i like flea with
mac okay but it's like emily's favorite musician uh stevie nicks. I like her music. I like Flea with Mac okay. But it's like Emily's favorite musician.
That's awesome.
Stevie Nicks.
Her and Dolly Parton.
And so it's a big fucking deal for Emily.
And I was really happy to go.
And we had really cool seats and stuff.
And the most interesting thing was like,
I guess she's popular on TikTok in some way,
her music is,
because it was full of like teenagers
and young people and old people, right?
Like I expected everybody there to be, she's 75 like i expected everybody there to be she's
75 i expected everybody there to be like 60 to 80 and there were all definitely a lot of those people
but i was amazed at how many young people were there but the fucking funniest thing i don't well
first off i don't go to a lot of concerts anymore can i can i can i make a plea to other concert
goers put your fucking phone down Stop recording the entire two-hour
concert! You're not watching
the show, you're watching through
a fucking screen, and then
I guarantee you're never
gonna watch that video again, you
dumbass! You're ruining
your own experience, and you're ruining
everybody else's experience because your phone
is in my fucking, is in my line
of sight! Put it down and look at her
Don't look at her through your fucking phone
Anyway, I always felt the same way about fireworks and people filming concerts and that made more sense
I'd say a decade ago, but now it's just it's people's Instagram. They want it on Instagram
I know I just watched there were these two dudes in front of me and I'm off on a side track
It's not even the point
I was trying to make but there were these two dudes in front of me who i'm off on a side track uh it's not even the point i was trying to make but there were these two dudes in front of me who they seemed lovely other than the
fact that they both they're together right first off they're together right they came together
they're clearly together they're holding hands at times and stuff so they probably you know they're
they're intimate with each other whether they live together or not they're around each other a lot is
the impression i get and they're both filming the entire fucking
concert. It's like maybe one of you
film or maybe take turns and
you film for the first half and you film for the second half
and then we just swap videos. Or
maybe you don't need two hours
of Stevie Nicks through a
grainy fucking phone. Maybe you could
just enjoy the concert.
Regardless, the thing
I wanted to point out is the lady next to me, who was an older woman,
she was up into the front of me.
She was filming with her phone, but she didn't understand that her flashlight came on every
time she filmed.
So every time she wanted to film for 10 or 15 minutes straight, she blared her fucking
light into the dude in front of me
who was like one of the two dudes
who was very bald.
And it was just like all I could see
for an hour and a half
was a spotlight on a bald dude's head
in front of me instead of Stevie Nicks.
The only time I could see Stevie Nicks
was when I could catch her through his screen
or his partner's screen.
It was a phenomenal concert,
but old people don't understand
flashlights and how to
like, the flash isn't working.
You're 185,000
feet away from the stage. You're only
illuminating the chair and the
bald man in front of you. And like
nobody in her family tells her.
Nobody is like, hey, it's fucking
uncomfortable because I can't see because
this guy's super bald and so it's like fucking, it's fucking uncomfortable because I can't see, because this guy's blop, blop, he's super bald.
And so it's like fucking, it's like the sun
right in front of me in an otherwise dark room.
Oh my god.
I always wonder when looking at clips
of like Taylor Swift
concerts where there's enough people that,
you know, if everyone jumped, you would
sink New Zealand with a tidal wave or something.
There's so many phones on with so
many lights on that it would probably be,
if you got all that footage in one place,
the coolest time slice footage of all time.
You can make like real bullet time
of everyone's, of the whole performance.
It's insane.
I wonder how many pictures of her
every second are being taken.
Dude, there was another lady over to the right
who I also was annoyed by.
She would just do Snapch chats over and over again.
She would hit it and fill the little thing up and then do another one.
She wasn't even just recording with her video.
She must have made 180,000 nine-second snaps or reels or whatever the fuck it was.
Just over and over and over again.
The workload alone, I don't know how she enjoyed the concert.
She was so busy.
You know how on Instagram,
if someone's put up a lot of stories,
you go for like quick taps
to like get through it?
Yes.
If I see like 11 stories
and the first one is like a concert,
I'll just go straight swipe.
Like I'm not even tapping through that.
I'm going to skip to the whole next person.
I'll do you one better.
If I do,
if I open it up
and I see like 11 or 12 of those in a row,
I just close Instagram.
I just close the fucking app and move on with my life.
Like, I don't understand why people...
And I know for a...
Well, I can't say I know for a fact,
but I know for a fact,
they're not looking...
They're not using that footage.
They weren't professional photographers, clearly.
So they're not using it for some work-related thing. and i know they're not going home and watching that video later
like the i understand wanting to capture the moment take a couple photos i took like a 30
second i took like 30 seconds of her singing landslide so i can send it to my mom and just
be like hey check it out you know you like her this is cool she still got it look at her listen
to her voice it's awesome but like that's the appropriate amount. But why? Why do we feel the need
to record every single thing
that happens in front of us?
I mean,
I do that.
I appreciate the way
you do it, Gavin.
If you were at the
Stevie Nicks concert,
you wouldn't have been up there
with your phone
for two straight hours.
No, I wouldn't.
Yeah, I wouldn't film
an event like that.
No, I took you.
You and I went to
an Austin FC game.
We went to the very first
Austin FC game.
You didn't film
the entire game
from your chair and your phone.
No, I did keep taking pictures of the crowd opposite though
because I kept trying to zoom in and find where Jack was.
Yeah, that was fun.
That was a game we were playing.
That was fun.
Yeah.
I think we got him in the end, didn't we?
We found him.
We did.
Did you get him?
I probably still have that photo on my phone.
Good.
That's great.
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i had one of the most embarrassing moments i've had recently and it was a musician
musician related you know about this gavin oh one of the most uh just obnoxious um mistakes i've had that was very
embarrassing shanae o'connor died recently yes uh and upon fun learning about her death i attempted
to make a joke and it did not land very well um i had learned that she had passed and in the group of people i was with my response was
to go well hopefully she doesn't turn into a zombie zombie zombie and then nobody yeah that's
delores o'reardon from the critters yeah she's also dead the response was she doesn't sing that song
i have the only thing i've known about shanae o'connor is that she was in the cranberries
that was yeah she's not the only that's yeah not at all i learned that yeah it did not lay well i
was very embarrassed you're vocally racist you think all irish people are the same
yeah get them, Jeff.
I know.
That's all I know about the Cranberries.
I think I probably watched
that music video once
at like 1 a.m. in 2008
and just decided
that was Sinead O'Connor.
Do you now know, though,
Sinead O'Connor's big hit?
No.
Okay.
I still don't know anything, really,
outside of the SNL thing.
You probably would
if you heard it. You'd probably
recognize it. I assume so, yeah.
She was famous for ripping up the Pope on
SNL and ripping up her career
in the process, unfortunately. And then also, a couple
years ago, didn't she go on like a weird
online tirade on social
media about how she couldn't find anybody to have anal
sex with her? I don't know about the second one. I think
so. What? I thought you were gonna...
No, I think so. I know she Googled google it but i don't want to google it you don't want to google
shenado kona anal two weeks after she's died i'll do it right now and we'll see what happens but
here's what she wrote i'm in desperate need of a very sweet sex starved man the singer wrote
and continued i've been repeatedly asked will i do anal sex anal sex let me make it very clear any man i contemplate
has to be into anal sex yes i do anal and in fact i would be deeply unhappy if doing anal wasn't on
the menu wow very honest of a okay yeah nothing compares to you no no word on if that had anything
to do with her demise but uh yeah anyway that's the joke you could have made thank you that was good really really
good musician uh you should you should look up nothing compares to you that was her big song
i will look into it you should also look up joe pesci on snl the week after
i can't believe that she did that then he said. And she's the one who lost her career.
No kidding.
Right.
I don't know if it's the times or the place.
It just seems so backwards to me.
Definitely the time.
1992.
It's the times and misogyny and the double standard.
It's the same reason Justin Timberlake got off scot-free for the Janet Jackson thing.
And she suffered all the fucking consequences.
He was just as involved in that moment.
Yeah, it's weird to look at an event and be like,
okay, well, nowadays I feel like the other person's career would be over.
Like, literally flipped.
Wild.
It sucks to have your career end over a standard definition titty.
Like, we weren't even in an HD era.
You mean a thing that, like, 52% of the world has?
And exists on over half the people on Earth and is totally normal?
I mean, I guess all men have titties, too, but you know what I'm saying.
Like, it's so...
We're so backwards about sex and sexuality.
It's so fucking weird.
Well, it's just...
Yeah, like, that's true as well.
But, I mean, for it to happen, not even in the HD era.
No, Stale, you mean standard death. Yeah, that's true as well but i mean to for it to happen not even in the hd era you mean standard death yeah that's what i meant like i just watched that super bowl i didn't even notice it was sd i couldn't see shit all the tvs are blurry it's fuzzy 1080p that's very noticeable
it was in that really sad window between a high definition film and high definition video where
everything just looked like a bag of
dog dicks for 20 years man it's funny you you say things looking like a bag of dog dicks for 20
years i i just i was thinking about this this morning when i woke up um i was thinking about
like living with gus when about that time like it was around around that time and uh we we would
just talk all the time and kind of prognosticate on the future and
what it was going to be like and how excited we were to get to the future.
Right.
And it's not Amatok.
And,
uh,
and I realized this morning,
like I'm,
we're,
we're here.
Like this is the future.
Like off the top of my head.
Right.
Uh,
my doorbell has a camera and a microphone so I can talk to people.
My robot vacuums my house.
I have a speaker in my kitchen
that I can order soda and laundry detergent through.
Potatoes could be mass produced in a smiley face.
Exactly.
Don't even get me started on cell phones
and having all of the world's knowledge in your pocket.
There are self-driving cars
like the Johnny Cab in Total Recall.
And then all the tech that happened and disappeared like Google Glass or like Kinect, which was, you know, dog shit.
Or Theranos was bullshit.
Or like when Galaxy phones were blowing up in people's pockets.
Or like now we have robocalls.
3D TV was a fucking flash in the pan thing.
Like meta VR in general.
Like we have all of that now. And it all sucks. was a fucking flash in the pan thing, like meta, VR in general.
We have all of that now and it all sucks.
The future, I was so excited for the future
and it turns out the future
clearly was built by the lowest bidder
and is managed by the laziest
of people and we have it and it's
all like 70% useful
and like 30% bullshit
and I'm really bummed out that I finally got to the future
and it wasn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Was it cooler in ways you wouldn't necessarily anticipate?
Probably.
Yeah, like I think some of the luxury type stuff
is just like so mundane you don't consider it.
Yeah, I feel like I always appreciate the fact that I can go
from this chair to anywhere in the world
without really talking to anyone.
Yeah, that's pretty cool.
Yeah.
When your internet's working and you're not having to reboot.
That's true.
You talk about that, Gavin,
but you and I sat in a Discord
chat room for 45 minutes
earlier today trying to film
a video with Andrew because and when Andrew got on after 45 minutes and I'm not faulting you in
any way, Andrew, but when Andrew got on after 45 minutes of making us wait, his response was,
I just tried to do one Google search. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's technology sucks. I'm sorry.
i'm sorry that's technology sucks i'm sorry 45 minutes of andrew's computer problems in 2023 it's like we are there and there are elements of it that are fucking awesome but most of it
just sucks that's fair i always think i might even mention it like whatever you see in a movie that
the evil villain or the aliens take over every tv in the world and i can't freaking airplay
something from my own phone to my own TV,
I think that's the most unrealistic movie trope.
There's no way that's coming in clean
on all those screens.
Or like, I was playing video games last night,
and my controller batteries died.
So I put new batteries, new AA batteries,
in my Xbox controller,
and then my Xbox wouldn't re-sync the controller.
Does it every day. Just wouldn't do it.
I rebooted my Xbox, wouldn't
re-sync it. Took the batteries out,
turned my Xbox off, let everything
sit for a few minutes, put it all back together,
wouldn't re-sync it.
Thought maybe I need to update my
fucking controller, but I couldn't figure out, I couldn't
get through the Xbox to do it.
I just had to reboot my Xbox and my controller
like four times, and then eventually
it just worked. I didn't do anything
differently, I just did it over and over again
until it worked. That's what I'm talking about.
Yeah, that's frustrating.
Like, stuff that's supposed to work,
and usually it works, but then it doesn't, and
there's no reason why it doesn't, and there's no rhyme or
reason for it. It's just like, no,
I know you pay for five gig internet,
but today things are going to be a little slow
and there's nothing you can do about it.
And you're going to get disconnected
from most of your online games.
Sorry.
It's like my printer.
If I use my printer yesterday, it's going to work.
But there must be an internal counter
that when it hits like 27 days,
it just forgets who it is or where it is.
It doesn't know what it's doing.
None of my computers can see it.
Piece of shit.
If I try to use my printer, I have to turn it on and then turn it off
and then turn it on again, and then I can print.
Whenever I complain about printers, people are like,
what are you printing?
Who prints anymore?
And it's because of the other terrible crap that i have to print stuff like a bank that needs a certain form
filled out printed and signed back like all these ancient government shit where i still have to
print stuff it's other people's fault i don't want to print anything i kicked my printer on
accident the other day and it killed it. Like it died.
Oh, no.
It started making this like, and it wouldn't like do anything.
And so I was like, oh, I, you know what?
It's 2023.
I say the other day, this is maybe three months ago.
And I thought, oh, well, it's 2023.
I just won't replace it.
Who needs a printer?
I, four days later, I was at Best Buy buying the same printer over and over because I immediately needed another printer.
I made it four fucking days in 2023 without a printer.
I feel like of all electronics that are typically on a desk,
a printer is the one appliance that you're most likely to find on someone's floor.
So many people are like,
ah, this is going down there.
I'm shoving it in the corner.
100%. When you said that, I thought I've never had my printer on a desk.
It's like never even been a consideration.
You want that thing out of sight.
You want to pretend it doesn't exist
and you don't have to use it.
I fucking hate printers.
They're the worst.
I have a list of things.
I want to hear your list of things.
20,000?
I don't...
I wish 20,000.
I'll just...
How about I'll send them...
I'll send them to you, Gavin, and you can read any of these that you think are interesting
speaking of reading your lists while you're doing this did uh did you get any response about your uh
19 minutes of ad i got i got an email saying the contract was finalized so i think we're all good
i think everyone's happy i think that commercial is going
to be great i like that they if they had given you one percent of all anal based 2023 sales it
would probably have been cheaper yeah i did the i kind of did the math it was it's i'm definitely
making out with the better end of the deal so i saw you come into the merch channel and go hey
can i ask a question real quick yeah i was curious they gave you the number and you went
i think what you would have wanted was 2022 money on that yeah yep yeah well you know there was
potential for things you know who knows but i'm i'm happy with the end of the deal
i bet you they they feel that they got the ass end of it oh oh wait what is this what have you
sent me these are uh just things, thoughts I've had.
I thought if there are any that you think are worth expanding on,
you can read them.
We can talk about them.
These are my musings.
Not any land animals of great height I'd consider eating,
even if it was humane.
Toys R Us has done wonders for giraffes.
Wait, you just...
Wait, you sent your notes to Gavin to see if he could pick something that he thinks we should talk about.
Yes.
Yeah, because I don't trust me to determine.
I just read the first one.
So I think it's a great point.
We've talked about that.
Jeff, I'd love your input on this.
I was thinking about eating land animals, and there's not a lot of tall land animals that I just find appetizing
especially a giraffe which I attribute to it must be Toys R Us thing like I don't what do you
consider a tall land animal I guess like bigger than a cow okay so like you're saying like the
cow is the tallest cow is like the tallest yeah like a kangaroo doesn't seem great to eat to me
like the tallest yeah like a kangaroo doesn't seem great to eat to me ostrich doesn't seem great giraffe certainly doesn't really i would eat ostrich seems like it would probably be pretty
good you know i feel like it would be really tough that's a tough meat in my mind you wouldn't want
to just eat a big a big wing i don't think there's a lot of meat on that wing i think you got a lot
of feather i think that's a deceptive cut of meat an ostrich wing you think an ostrich wing is less impressive than a chicken wing yeah well
well that's if you keep reading the notes there's some chicken takes in there oh sorry good lord
schneider connor was not in the cranberries camel would you eat a camel no that doesn't
say i would i would eat a camel be gold right camel seems like it would be probably fine what
would the hump be like probably fat like a fatty like a wagyu you know what i mean like a real marble cut yeah
how many sundays in my life would cloud
as it's a thought i wonder how many sundays were actually sunny oh you could find that out
because it's sunday yeah that's that out. Because it's Sunday.
Yeah, that's...
A lot of these are things like notes
that I mean to do research on later.
These are a lot of late night thoughts.
I'm like that all the time
where I'll be like,
wait, October is 8.
Like, Oct is 8,
but it's the 10th month.
December should be 10.
And I'm a thought...
But it's never interesting enough
to Google why.
But if you write them all down and hand them to someone and force them to read them, it's content, baby.
September should be the seventh month.
Don't know why it isn't.
This is one of my chicken takes.
If I were to be reincarnated, coming back as a chicken would be the absolute worst.
If I ever returned back to human, it would ruin the best meat.
And as a chicken
I'd have to walk around knowing how goddamn delicious
I was do you think chicken is the best meat I do my opinion a
Homeless chicken in the eyes of the people is one like if you escape like I don't if I was a chicken and I escaped
A situation if I see a chicken on the street. I never assumed that chicken is in need of further help
I assumed that that chicken has gotten away from a bad situation.
Is this before or after it's crossed the road?
This is probably before, I'd assume.
Not after.
It's dangerous when they cross after.
I don't think chicken is the best meat.
I like it a lot.
You don't?
What do you think is the best meat?
I mean, I guess pork is the most versatile.
You get the most variety out of it.
But I love a fucking really awesome steak.
Don't get me wrong.
I love chicken.
I feel like I eat more chicken than red meats.
Chicken is also better leftovers.
Yeah, chicken's good.
Better leftover, and I feel like better variety of what it could be it's better
steak is delicious but there's like 10 chicken is a depth meat you got chicken wings chicken
parm it's a wing the i think that yeah those two things i think that uh i think that the only cold meat that tastes better than chicken would maybe be ham.
Oh, you are a ham fan.
Steak's not great cold.
No, steak is not great cold.
But ham is pretty fucking, like a good slap of ham, cold slap of...
I like those big old fat salami slices with like pepper around the rim.
I'm with you.
Oh, yeah.
Because that's like all the, that's like so much,
if you're a little bit hungry
and you want a blast of flavor
without eating too much food,
it's an absolute go-to.
What animals is a salami?
That's pork, right?
That's gotta be the hump of the camel.
That's the giraffe's neck.
If you could be reincarnated as an animal,
do you think you'd pick something like domestic, like a an animal what do you think you'd pick something
like domestic like a chicken or you think you like really get out there with it i'd probably
want to be my own cat i want to be a bird i have such nice little lives yeah a cat is i feel like
top cats and dogs i feel like are top picks in that situation cat lives longer well it depends
on if it's an indoor cat or an outdoor cat.
I guess your cats are indoor cats.
Yeah.
I think a bird, I want to be like a falcon.
Got some power to you.
You just got ultimate freedom.
Just go where the fuck you want to go.
And then all you do all day long is shit on stuff below you,
literally and figuratively.
Like you just judge everything below you and make fun of it and then also just crap on all of it because like we said after
mexico the earth is nothing but a bird toilet that really does feel like your best life like
i think you nailed it for you yeah bird makes sense birds of prey have the biggest amount of
options too like they can eat from the air they can eat they can dive and. Like they can eat from the air. They can eat, they can dive and get fish. They can eat from the land.
It's whatever they feel like.
They can get the fuck
out of Dodge real fast
if they're not feeling it.
If it's too cold
and they want to go
summer or winter
somewhere else,
they just do it.
And they can fly like,
you can,
like birds fly across
the fucking ocean
to migrate
and they don't care.
They're just like,
they just never stop.
It's fucking wild.
And they don't even
have to talk to anyone.
That's true.
That is a great point.
They're really good at formations.
That's true.
They're very disciplined.
Before we wrap up,
don't let me forget,
I had an idea for a piece of supplemental content
I want to throw you guys away.
Why don't you just say it right now?
Oh, I didn't know if we were done with your notes or not.
Well, it's up to Gavin. Are we done with the notes?
I've not read them all.
I've just been... I mean, do you want me
to look through them and not pay attention to this?
Give me one more.
Just like kind of scroll or look or whatever.
One more good one.
The person who named the Life Fest was a bit full of themselves.
Okay.
Well, it's just... It's just a flotation device like
it's not a life belt it's a seat belt like the life vest seems a little like calm down you're
floating you're getting people to float i feel like all of these could start or end with you
saying folks and then throwing it out there this is i've expanded life jacket takes
it's typically what'll happen is i'll have one thought and then it will chain into like six
things like the the life jacket the next thing i wrote down in that was the life jacket segment
when you're going a plane always felt really silly to me because the idea of like if the plane is crashing at 35 000 feet
i'm not like i'm never gonna be like well thank god we got the flotation out of the way we do not
need to worry about that like that is just so far down the list of priorities as far as what i'm
thinking about in terms of survivability it just seems unnecessary i need to drag all my pointless
thoughts into a document for you as well because i've got so many on my list that I know I'm never going to bring up.
Well, like this one I'm about to bring up.
I feel like there should be more descriptive death terms
that don't explain the death.
Like dying from exposure or consumption.
They don't tell you anything about what happened,
but they're known words for ways to die.
He died of inflation.
What?
Inflation these days is getting ridiculous.
He died of deconsecration.
I feel that way about manslaughter.
Manslaughter always just whenever it's like said in my head, it's like the most slasher movie thing.
It's terrible. Like way cooler than accidentally elbowing someone out of a window which is what manslaughter could be i guess
the first time i ever read manslaughter i read it in a newspaper when i was a little kid and i
thought it said man's laughter and i thought a dude went to jail for that was the fucking
funniest thing ever and my mom had to explain it to me
what was the joke that's what i was like i don't get it my mom had to explain having to explain
what manslaughter is because your kid thought it was man's laughter i don't i think i just give
them man's laughter i think i just let you think that that's what happened i don't think i go into manslaughter that's probably where it all went wrong for me my mom my mom she zigged when i
may have been safer for her to zag i used to play this game with my friends when we're walking to
school if anyone was ever walking the other way we'd play this game called punch lining where i
would pretend i would pretend like i was at the end of a really funny joke and right as
we'd walk past the people coming the other way
I'd like deliver the punchline and all my friends would
laugh but it wasn't for any joke
I would just make up punchlines
like I'd just walk past someone and be like
that's not a tree, that's my wife
and we'd all go ah ha ha ha
like little freaks on the way to school
and
it's like so weird how my brain has lost the ability to school.
It's like so weird how my brain has lost the ability
to come up with like dumb kid ideas.
I could never come up with that.
We would do this thing in the army
in basic in journalism school
where you would get like,
you'd be hanging out
with like three or four people
and you'd go,
hey, here's what we're going to do.
And you'd explain what you're going to do.
I would do this all the time.
And then like right as a fourth person who isn't involved would come up,
you would start to tell a joke and the joke would be something like,
so anyway,
there was this penguin and he was in a bathtub and he was filling it up with
water.
He was trying to take a bath.
Right.
And,
uh,
but he kept slipping into the water.
And every time he'd slip into the water,
like right as his head would go under the water,
he would go,
no soap radio,
no soap radio.
And then everybody would laugh,
laugh,
laugh.
And the one person would be like, uh, you'd see if you could get them to laugh and then and then
make fun of them mercilessly when they did you piece of shit that's not even a real joke
it was surprisingly fun coming up with punch lines to jokes that didn't exist
you should do it i want a list next time we record i want at least one
what if you here's what we do gavin you give us a list of punch lines and then we'll take that list
and we'll go into the lab and we'll write the setup for the punchlines and then we'll present
it to you.
That's fun.
That's phenomenal.
I think it's a great idea.
All right.
How many punchlines do you need?
Five.
Five for next time?
You want to do five?
And then Andrew, we each come up with five setups.
Sure.
Okay.
I like this idea.
I think it'd be fun.
So then it won't be episode 171.
You'll present the punchlines and then 172, we'll have the setups for it.
Okay.
Wow.
We got some stuff in the mix now.
We do.
Let me tell you about an idea I had
for a new piece of supplemental content.
Okay.
I have still been kind of relishing
in how much fun Summer of 98 has been.
And the idea of pivoting,
not really away from drafts,
but it's kind of like draft adjacent.
We were developing our definitive playlists.
And that was so much fun.
I had this idea today.
What if we made a,
what if we did a piece of supplemental content
very similar to our Summer of 98 music playlist,
but instead of picking the music of 98,
we pick the five,
we eat or four,
we each pick the four or five worst songs we've ever heard and we try to create the worst playlist of all time
that's great that's such a good idea and are we talking bad bad or good or like whatever you hate
like i'll tell you right now okay a strong candidate for me would be the proclaimers i
would walk 500 miles i would i i would Miles. I would like to go back in time
and stop them from making that song.
The thing is, I've listened to bad songs so much
that I think I end up liking them.
Like, I would actually go out and listen to
Darude Sandstorm right now, unironically.
Yeah.
No, but for me, there are songs that definitely,
I just, I'm not a fan.
Just suck.
You know, kind of like how the dude hates the Eagles
in Big Lebowski.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Sometimes it might not even be based purely on the song.
It could be influenced by the music video.
Could be different reasons.
You just might have a personal relationship
to that song that makes you hate it.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, it's like one man's trash
is another man's treasure, right?
So it's like, we're going to pick songs that we hate
that other people think are absolute bangers and vice versa yeah i just think it'll be interesting to see a
a playlist that is cumulatively all the things that we like the least and i know eric's gonna
have very strong opinions as a big music fan so it's gonna be fun i think it's a really good idea
i really like this i think we're gonna get a lot of hate from uh people who like these songs but i feel like that's just gonna have to be a part of it yeah i mean we're going to get a lot of hate from people who like these songs,
but I feel like that's just going to have to be a part of it.
Yeah, I mean, we're going to be giving a lot of hate.
I think Jeff isn't worried about the opinions of people who like the song, I Would Walk 500 Miles.
So I think he's going to be all right.
I also think that if you're out there
and you're a regulation listener or a comment lever
and it's in your like all time 20 greatest songs and it's on my all time 20 shittiest
songs, I think we can probably overcome that together and still be decent to each other
and have an okay.
Like, I don't think it needs to be a deal breaker between between us.
I think it's okay.
Imagine, imagine if it was.
The Proclaimers!
I'm at a claim that I'm never listening to this podcast.
I'm going to walk 500 miles to kick your ass.
Speaking of bangers, Jeff, you should check your door.
There's a package.
What?
Okay, hold on.
I'll be right back.
Is that why the door opened earlier?
Yeah, what the fuck?
You think his butt cream's arrived already?
What is about to happen?
Who knows?
Why don't I have a package?
You know, I should have, actually.
You're right.
That's on me.
I don't have your address saved.
That's fair.
That's why.
So either Andrew or Gracie is a goddamn magician.
I'll tell you that right now.
What happened?
That's impressive.
Hold on.
Gracie said,
it ain't me. That's impressive. Do you have potato smiles?
Do you have fucking potato smiles?
Okay, hold on.
No!
The most aggressive anyone's ever asked that.
Put it in Slack.
No.
I'm going to be eating potato smiles for dinner, apparently.
Holy shit.
It's like little happy hash browns.
That's so crazy.
And it costs you like $1,000 to do that?
That's awesome.
$132, I think.
That's awesome, dude.
You're welcome.
Was that you, Andrew, I'm assuming?
It was.
Thank you so much for my potato smiles.
Dude, you've got that moving.
Dude, you've put a flesh smile on my face.
To take us out of the episode,
will you open that bag and eat one right now?
Frozen? No.
Don't ruin potato smiles immediately.
I think you should try it.
A frozen fry is awful.
Hold on. Fries uh I'd fries don't cool. Well. You need to have those hot
It's a big drop off in quality in my experience. All right. Can you see my camera? Okay? Yeah, you look good, man
Where am I NBA summer league hat you guys were there sloppy Joe's shirt?
Yeah, sloppy Joe's so it's just my travel
clothes this year all right it's a it's pretty happy little face yeah oh the
first product just go on it for a little while and this is what makes Jeff have his next root canal.
Nick came back and said what the fuck?
I almost threw up a little bit.
There's a lot going on.
But it's good. I'm going to try it
thawed and heated and I bet it'll be even better.
It will be. That's great.
Enjoy your smiles.
I'm excited. We have a lot coming out for this show. That's great. Enjoy your smiles. I'm excited.
We have a lot coming out for this show.
There's so much happening.
I'm very excited with where F*** Face is at and where we're going with it.
Did Jeff leave?
Yeah, he's out of here.
I mean, he hung up.
Yeah.
Oh, hey, Jeff.
What's up?
He left on accident.
Do you want to do the outro
since we're still not done?
You were saying we have a lot coming up for the show.
I missed that part.
Yeah, I was saying that I'm excited about the future
of F*** Face and some stuff we have coming
up that we can't talk about yet. Yeah, we've got some
stuff coming out that we can't talk about yet, but that
we're very excited about. Eric's right. But there is
some stuff we can talk about that we hope
you'll check out and enjoy.
I don't know if you're aware, but
every Monday or damn near every Monday
at 4 p.m. Central Time, Eric
and Emily and I put on the F*** Face Break Show where we open up all manner of cards from all kinds of things.
And then we build the definitive collection, the ultimate card collection, the greatest collection of cards of all time.
From the funny to the weird to the esoteric to the legitimate.
Then, of course, we also do the podcast,
the F*** Face podcast you're listening to right now. You seem to be aware
of it. And don't forget about
So Alright. It's a podcast
where I say stuff and Gavin and Andrew
don't interrupt me. So it's probably
pretty boring. And then we have that
first only show coming out, F*** Face Off.
And then we have... Oh,
by the way, if you miss the live stream of The Break Show, it ends up on the Rooster Teeth site out face off and then we have oh by the way if you miss the live stream of
the break show we it ends up on the roosterteeth site on fridays and then on youtube on saturdays
and then just about every uh every thursday or friday these days we have a piece of supplemental
content that comes out not every week friday saturday friday saturday but damn near and uh
yeah and then some and then some even other stuff on top of that. We're very, very, very, very busy and excited.
We have a bunch of supplemental that's in the chamber
that we're ready to fire off over the next few weeks.
So go subscribe on YouTube and watch that there
or on the Rooster Teeth site.
And then also stay tuned because we have some other stuff
that we have coming up.
I just had the best idea.
Okay.
You guys know how a potato gun exists?
Yeah.
What if we got a potato gun exists yeah what if we got a potato gun and then we built a form that
out of like i don't know almost like a cookie cutter or something that's a smiley face and
then we shot potatoes into it with the potato gun and tried to create smiles like our own potato
smiles i'm in i'll bring over the old high-speed camera for that.
Okay.
Great.
Thank you.
Andrew, what would your podcast be called?
The first permanent potato patches on U.S. soil were established in 1719 near Londonderry, New Hampshire by Scottish-Irish immigrants.
Please subscribe.
So your podcast would be called The Potato Patch?
So your podcast would be called The Potato Patch?
No, it would be called The First Permanent Potato Patches on U.S. Soil were established in 1719 near Londonderry, New Hampshire
by Scottish-Irish immigrants.
Please subscribe.
What's the longest song name of all time?
The First Permanent Potato Patches on U.S. Soil were established in 1719.
Potato patches on the soil were
established.
1719.
The longest song
title is
Sufjan Stevens.
The Blackhawk
War or how to
demolish an entire
civilization and
still feel good about
yourself in the
morning or we
apologize for the
inconvenience but
you're going to have
to leave now or I
have fought the big
knives and will
continue to fight
them until they are
off our lands.
Thanks for listening
to another episode of
the podcast.
We'll see you next week for more potato knives and we'll continue to fight them until they are off our lands. Thanks for listening to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast.
We'll see you next week for more potato facts and
some punchlines.
The Potato Museum in Washington, D.C.
contains 2,000 potato artifacts.
You're going to blow all of our
good, you're going to use up all of our good potato
facts. 2008 was the U.N. International
Year of the Potato. Bye!
Alright, let's cut.
August 13th is National Potato Day.
Cut, cut.
No more.
Hey, guys.
Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face.
How do you cook your smiley fries?
Andrew's face is everywhere.
The thumbstick challenge has begun.
What turned Nick?
Zimmer is in the Hall of Fame.
Where would the F*** Face crews go?
And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. What turned Nick? Zimmer is in the Hall of Fame. Where would the F*** Face Cruise go?
And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil.
All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.