F**kface - Ramscoop vs Whoop Tone // bird_chirp.mp3 [158]
Episode Date: June 14, 2023Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about a new nickname, Split, GI Joe draft, out of sync, easter egg, Andrew's birthday cake, Colin the Caterpillar, positive food guy, slime update, Babadook, Valerian, Si...deways, Johnny Caviar, and waking dreams. Come see the F**kface Museum and more at RTX this this July 7-9 www.RTXAustin.com for all the details. Sponsored by HelloFresh http://hellofresh.com/face16 and use code face16 and Fum http://tryfum.com/FACE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma,
is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam.
Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply
explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics,
groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics.
Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten
destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation
of Beastrin.
Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice.
Your choice, that is.
From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills.
And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is
really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge
roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in their weak points,
use the terrain and trick, trip,
or throw foes off high cliffs or raging waters.
Visit dragonsdogma.com to buy the game
and start your epic quest today.
That's D-R-A-G-O-N-S-D-O-G-M-A.com to learn more.
52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59.
That seemed like two seconds early.
It's not early.
What do you want from me?
I don't want anything.
You shut up.
That's all I want.
You're here.
There's no argument.
There's no complaining.
I just... Eric was on 58 when you popped into the room.
That's all.
Eric needs to learn to count to 60, firstly.
Well, you didn't give him a chance to count to 60.
I'm almost there.
So far, I've gotten to 58 that's you know what i in defense of gavin i've never heard you say 60 i've heard you get as
high as 59 i've only i think i've only ever proof that you've gotten there i don't know how we got
to episode 158 i just have a sheet that tells me what the next one is and that's it so do you want
me to be two seconds late next time just so you can get 60?
No, I want you to continue to be on time.
Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast.
This is episode 158 of season 98.
If we're going by slang, my name is
Porterhouse, and with me is always
the Freezy Guy.
Freezy Guy,
Ram Jam,
and Schwartzy, and
the Lil' Dog.
What the fuck is this?
Jeff went with a
different cut of steak.
You changed your steak name?
I changed my steak name.
I modified everybody's nickname a little bit.
You did.
I don't know why.
You don't know why?
Okay, that's fair.
Ram Jam?
Fucking, well, first off,
I cannot remember Ram Scoop.
I've been calling you Ram Rod in my head
or Ram Jam for a while.
Ram Scoop is,
I had to look it up twice in the last week
because I just couldn't
fucking remember it.
Good news for you.
I have a potential
replacement nickname
that I found out in the world.
And I want to run it
by everyone.
We don't have to go
straight into that, but...
No, let's go straight into it.
Yeah, why would we leave
nicknames to then
redirect you back to nicknames?
Why wouldn't we just
do this now?
Well, sure.
Yeah, let's do it. Jesus Christ, man. Well, I'm just stalling. I'm trying to findnames. Why wouldn't we just do this now? Well, sure. Yeah, let's do it.
Jesus Christ, man.
I'm just stalling. I'm trying to find my picture.
Oh, I see.
You know what? You know who wouldn't have stalled, Jeff?
Ram Jam. Ram Jam would have stalled.
Ram Jam would have been ready. The Rammer.
Saw this sign in a hotel
by the lift.
It's sort of giving you the sound of the alarm
and what it sounds like. Whooptone!
I think that could be my new nickname.
Whooptone? Yeah, whooptone.
Dude, I'm all about whooptone
and T-bone.
Oh, this is great. Oh, I love
whooptone, dude. I'll put it to
the audience. Do you like Ramscoop or
whooptone? Because I'm leaning
towards whooptone. Isn't there like
a G.I. Joe named whooptone because I'm leaning towards whoop tone. Isn't there like a G.I.
Joe named whoop tone?
What am I thinking of?
Ripcord?
Maybe I'm thinking Ripcord.
Is Ripcord G.I. Joe?
Who's a G.I.
Joe?
Are there any?
This is great.
Is there a Joe in G.I.
Joe?
Are there any G.I.
Joe's in the audience?
Raise your hand if you're a G.I.
Joe.
What?
Slipstream?
There was a Ripcord. There was a Ripcord G.I. Joe. What? Slipstream? There was a ripcord.
There was a ripcord G.I. Joe.
Are you naming Decepticons?
I don't know.
Is Slipstream...
Which one is Slipstream?
He's involved, right?
Was he a car?
I don't know.
But just wait until he fires up the whoop tone as he comes around the corner.
Oh, he will have a great whoop tone.
Would you...
So here's the thing.
The thing about whoop tone, it's long, which I'm not against. This is not me. This is not a criticism. I think whoop tone is Would you, so here's the thing. The thing about whoop tone, it's long,
which I'm not against.
This is not me.
This is not a criticism.
I think whoop tone is a fucking great name.
Yeah, it is.
I think it's fantastic.
How do you feel about be calling,
either be called whoop or tone as well?
You know, like it's like a nickname on the nickname.
We've been trained to know that whoop is the sound of the police.
So it could be a problem just being whoop. I think with a name like whoop is the sound of the police. So it could be a problem just being whoop.
I think with a name like whoop tone,
you can't truncate.
I think you got to go full whoop tone every time.
And then the thing I like about it
is it's also like,
when would you use the term whoop tone
when you see him first time, right?
It's like, oh, there's whoop tone.
But also it's a sound.
So now like anytime you see whoop tone come into the room in your head you're gonna be going whoop whoop yeah yep and that's
fucking kind of double awesome you're telling me no one's gonna call him tone no no i won't only a
fool only a fool like like imagine people he like he's walking up people go i what up tone like you
tell me that's never gonna happen no then i'll tell him about funky was it
town medina was it he called medina if anything i'm on your guys's side no one's calling him that
if anything people will go whoop when they see him you know can i can i character build on whoop
tone gavin yeah you need to have shoes that have um that have the fucking what what's the groan tube? You need groan tube shoes.
And whoop tone like runs into the room.
That's the
whoop tone.
I'm late for the bus, you just say,
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Well, alright, Tony!
You'd never be late.
Wait, is that whoop tone I hear?
We gotta stop this bus.
We gotta make groan shoes.
I don't know how we do that, but that has to happen.
Eric, can you talk to Tony and Aaron?
We need whoop-tone shoes.
I don't think this is complex.
We have...
We made the small keychain groan tubes.
Those could definitely go on the side of shoes.
Absolutely.
Just tape a bunch of those on yourself.
No shoes.
Gavin, if Eric can get you a bunch of those little baby keychains,
will you make a prototype where you just tape them all over your feet?
Absolutely.
Is that our next uniform?
That could be a uniform, yeah.
Gavin could invent his next, it could be the,
this would be the follow-up to the Thrice to Meet You,
which is a solid product.
I feel like I've got a backlog of Unifarm inventions ready to go.
You do.
Uncork that hose, buddy.
Maybe we'll have to have a sesh soon for Unifarm.
I can just see it now.
Who's that pervert that was putting his hands in all the ice cream
and then you just go,
boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop,
tubes sprinting away in the distance. Dude, that's right. How's the ice gloves going? How's the ice cream and then you just do tubes sprinting away in the distance.
Dude, that's right. How's the ice gloves going?
How's the ice cream gloves going? I feel like that was a
real ram scoop thing and I'm whooped tone
now. Oh, you've moved on.
That's old news.
I'll still work on that prototype.
I need to order some supplies and I need to find
out if cutting those things open
is poisonous.
I don't want to keep jumping into the episode
because I really want to let you guys go.
I just want to appreciate Gavin
because when other people have a nickname
or an alter ego,
it's always just themselves.
But Gavin really differentiates.
He's got like Stuart the Bumbler or whatever
and Errol and like all this stuff.
And it's just like none of them are the same or him
they're all different they do different things
and they don't overlap it's awesome
it's an excellent point Eric
what was the name of that James McAvoy
movie where he had all the personalities or
whatever and he'd like fluctuate
split? split yeah
that's right you just imagine
the scene in split where he's cycling
personalities and it's like oh no he's whoop tone just running down the halls it's great i'm a big fan of whoop
tone i gotta i gotta agree with you eric because even looking at my if like if i take a a harsh
look inward an honest look inward uh t-bone and porterhouse are the exact same dude there's no
difference between those two guys well i think he's t-bone on the streets and Porterhouse are the exact same dude. There's no difference between those two guys. Well, I think he's T-Bone on the streets
and Porterhouse in front of his girlfriend's parents.
Oh.
Even that is more of a difference.
You're just a natural differentiator.
That's the thing.
You're adding personality to my non-personality nicknames.
I love it.
Suddenly one of them's got a girlfriend.
He's got a fucking new parents.
Was Porterhouse
a G.I. Joe? That feels like a G.I. Joe
to me as well. It's too bad
we didn't get to name all the G.I. Joes.
How many are there?
Like 10? How many G.I. Joes, roughly?
Oh, hundreds. Hundreds.
Really? Yeah. I know nothing
about G.I. Joe.
How many G.I. Joes were there?
A porterhouse, not a G.I. Joe.
Sorry.
Oh, that's disappointing.
Was it a Decepticon?
Hang on, hang on.
No, not a Decepticon.
I appreciate you fake looking that up, Eric.
That was a nice timing.
Here comes star-screaming porterhouse. This is so good. Star screaming. You know what?
You know what?
I'm really into whoop tone.
Whoop tone came in big energy.
We're going all over.
Whoop tone is taking us to new heights.
Can I?
I want to see, you know, like a tag team wrestling match.
Gavin, I want you to set up like your thrice to meet you
and just tag in your different personalities.
Oh, the ultimate tagging device.
Yeah.
It's like my personality switch.
I fist bump in, I high five out.
That's great.
There's 163 G.I. Joe's.
Oh, wow.
And none of them are named Porterhouse.
Not so far.
There's some good ones.
Snowjob.
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
There's just one called Barbecue.
There should be one named Porterhouse
if there's one named Barbecue.
There's one called Crabby Legs.
That's me.
That's me doing the sewing machine.
We don't talk about that.
There's one called Stretcher.
He's a medic.
I think we need to figure out
our G.I. Joes that fit us best.
Yeah.
This is really crazy.
Oh, we should do it.
Should we do a G.I. Joe draft?
Oh, wow.
We got 163 to choose from.
That would be a real draft
because it's not all of the earth.
I don't know.
The pool is false. It's no different than the gi joes same
thing are we doing 40 minutes of just listing every gi joe name and then picking them what do
you want what do we want well we would read the list probably and then draft in why why why not just pick we're killing time it's a waste of
time wait why is it a waste of time why would we read 162 names and then pick 12 of them or 20 of
them whatever it is we have to read 162 names it's all the joes well that's like saying i didn't know
more than 160 shops for my mall what do you you mean? I don't know what you're saying.
Oh, man.
I'm glad that the drafts have been
cleared up and that this all makes sense now.
How did you guys, you two specifically,
when did you get off track
communication-wise? You never seem to
understand each other anymore.
We stopped playing video games. Yeah.
That's probably it. Can I ask you guys a favor?
Can you guys play some fucking Halo together one night,
just for like two hours, just to get back in sync?
Sure.
Yeah, but who's more out of sync, him or me?
I mean, you're fucking bumbling and clueless,
and he's aggressive and angry, and it's just a bad...
You guys are just butting up against each other right now.
All right, let's see if we can sort it out.
I mean, I don't care if you don't because it's hilarious,
but I'm just noticing it lately.
You know, we have had some issues recently.
I was complaining to Gavin about something.
He called me dumb, and I thought he made a ridiculous comparison.
Oh, shit.
You called him the D word?
You didn't call me dumb, but you called me dumb by your words.
I didn't know that AirPods needed to be in the case to charge,
that there's no other way to charge an AirPod outside of the case.
Stupid.
And I was mad about it.
How the fuck else would you charge it?
What do you mean?
Do you want to plug it?
A USB plug would be deeper than the pod.
Why couldn't I?
I got acres of white plastic that aren't doing nothing.
Also, why did I call you dumb? white plastic that aren't doing nothing also why do i
call you dumb i know i didn't call you dumb but like what what about my words was dumb um you were
like the tone was more like you you're a fool for not knowing that i know my response was who gets
airpods without the case why would i have done that first of all i didn't get them at all they
were a gift okay i buy the airpods that's that's why I didn't get them at all. They were a gift. I did not buy the AirPods.
That's why I didn't know they needed to be in the case.
I thought that was just a bonus.
Like my Elite controller.
My Xbox Elite controller, you can charge it in the case,
or you can just charge it with the cable outside of the case.
But they're so small.
But there's tons of...
I'm telling you, there's a lot of white plastic
real stay on that thing that's not being used yeah i just feel like it would be a lot it wouldn't fit
in your ear hole if there was a hole the depth of a usb plug in it what do you mean it would stick
way further out of your ear i don't think it would oh well how deep is a usb plug
deeper than not having one.
Yeah, but I don't,
I feel like it's a small cable.
When you look at a USB cable, that's not like fucking six feet.
We were arguing about this on text
and I said,
I was just like being an asshole
making other comparisons
to where you need like another device.
So I said,
did you know you need a corkscrew
to get the wine out of the bottle?
A separate thing,
the wine on its own,
the wine bottle is useless. And Andrew said, yeah, but I don't need a specific corkscrew to get the wine out of the bottle a separate thing the wine on its own the wine bottle is useless and andrew said yeah but i don't need a specific corkscrew to open just
that bottle then then only be able to drink it out of a glass that they make i was infuriated
got you there i found my airpods in a in a random like egg in an easter egg case and i was like
great finally found them.
Then I realized, oh, no, I need the fucking I need the proper case to charge them.
And then I was upset knowing that once I found the case, I would then need to find their
special cable to charge all of it.
Like each part was just ridiculous.
It was absurd.
I got to say, as a longtime AirPod user, my AirPods, if they're not in my ears they're instantly back
in the case that's where they live that's where they they're happiest in the case they don't want
to be out outside of the case that's fair i mean this only became a problem because phones decided
to take away the headphone jack yeah it's a dumb move that is a dumb dumb move no argument it's
still all that courage and all those years later is still really annoying.
Yeah. It's fucking stupid. You're right about that.
Just a quick question.
You found your case in an Easter egg?
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know why they were in there.
I don't know why I had it.
It was in my end table.
It was just an Easter egg shell.
It's a plastic Easter egg thing I popped open
and I was like, oh my god, AirPods.
Do you think you were like, I don't know.
Maybe this will charge them.
No, no, no.
That didn't cross your mind.
You're like, you were like, you were like the Easter.
The Easter egg is plastic, too, right?
Let me recharge this.
The magic bunny brought it.
It's got to work.
No, I think realistically, I had my charger on the other side of the room from where that
end table is, and I probably just took them off and was like, I don't want to lose these,
so I'll just put them in this case.
Do you keep a lot of Easter eggs around?
That's the only egg I have.
What color is it, out of curiosity?
It's a white egg.
Oh, so you must have barely seen them
in there.
Double back.
It's the confusion, yeah.
Yeah.
Nick says,
new product idea, Easter egg in Georgia.
I love it.
I don't know that I've ever
seen a white decorative easter egg
aren't they typically like yellow or blue or pink or something
do you have a picture of how you found them
like could you recreate the situation
I don't
I was going
through my end table
and I was just pulling out stuff
and there was some plastic
there was a plastic egg
so you couldn't find your case
your airpods were loose
and your case was inside
a white easter egg in an
end table no no the case
wasn't the case was in my desk
I found that later in my sauce drawer
of my desk
what is going on
okay it's a real Charlie Kelly vibe.
So I found the AirPods in my bedside table.
That's the first place I looked.
I figured they might be in there.
Found them in the egg case.
So the pods themselves were in the eggs?
The pods, yes.
Just the pods were in the case, in the egg case.
Then I had to try to find the proper case, which I found in my sauce drawer.
I still have not found the special cable to charge all of it was a point
We just wake up bleary-eyed in the night, and you were just like without turning light
I'm trying to put your air pods in the in the case be accidentally put them in the egg
I still don't know how this happens so the case the last time I remember using the case
It was on the other side of the room the far side
so i think i probably was laying in bed i've actually yeah that's absolutely i would have
been laying in bed using them realized maybe they died or is this like i'm done i don't want to
misplace these i'll put them in the egg i guess and i never used them this is probably like a
year and a half two years ago was the last time i used airpods okay probably like a year and a half, two years ago
was the last time I used AirPods.
Okay.
So, wait a minute.
So, for a year and a half to two years,
you've just had a plastic Easter egg floating around your room?
Yeah, well, not my room.
It's specifically my...
It's not even from this Easter.
No.
So, you managed...
AirPods consist of three components right if we if we consider
the airpods themselves to be a unit then you've got the airpods you've got the charger and you've
got uh the case you manage in one room to spread those three components to the wind and now they're
like how did you lose them all so far away from each other in such a small space it's like a lazy
plot video game
where you have to collect the three things
from the far corners of the...
That's the next video game.
Help Andrew recompile his AirPods.
Oh, I'd love it.
If anyone can give some assistance
on where this cable is,
I'd appreciate it.
I've kind of given up
on finding it.
Oh, the final boss.
Was it just a lightning cable?
I assume so.
I don't know.
I don't... You don't i would you guys
ever see those japanese cgi like dramatic reenactments of crimes crime scenes i feel like
we need one of those for you trying to find for you to go through that story you just explained
to us yeah i i wish you could have uh felt my anger when i got got Gavin's text about wine bottles. Like, you fucking
I hate you so much.
Well, yeah, a lot of the time you need other shit for your shit
as long as it doesn't work. I'm not saying it's great.
It's pretty annoying.
I have nothing to say. Nothing to say to that.
I feel like I countered what you said at the time.
You're not wrong.
There's just a lot of real estate in those things.
That's all I'm saying.
If we're talking about products that
we've made tonight can i talk about a thing that i made recently yeah please that might inspire the
two of you i've been talking about this with you guys for a while but in two days from now it'll
be much past that point it is our show's birthday and i thought it would be a fun idea as like a
supplemental thing is if we all made a cake like a birthday cake because i had never
attempted to make one before and then we did like the regulation birthday cake was the idea we could
all present what we made so that's sort of the thought uh so i made a cake um that i'm very proud
of i've never made a cake before now saying i made a cake maybe is a little bit of a strong word i
had a lot of assistance in making this cake i would say uh as much work as Steve Jobs did and like making the iPhone is the amount
of contribution I made with this cake it's a a masterful thing I think this is uh an innovation
I think I'm an innovator in the space I think these would sell out day one if we were to mass
produce them so it's important first of of all, ingredients got to show your ingredients.
We got some orange juice.
We got some flour,
lemon,
sugar,
basis of all good cakes.
Jeff,
if I showed you these ingredients lined up like this,
would you go birthday cake?
Clearly,
I might not.
If I'm being honest,
really so much of it brown. What's all the brown shit? What on the right? The brown stuff. I might not, if I'm being honest. Really?
Why is so much of it brown?
What's all the brown shit?
On the right, the brown stuff?
That's the brown sugar.
Okay.
What's the brown with the jar with the red top?
Brown with the red top.
Is that ginger, was I saying?
Yeah, it's some ginger.
You know what it is.
Ginger?
You know what it is.
Shut up.
I'm not seeing What's the sort of
porcelain horse in the background?
Is the horse a part of the cake?
It's a cosmetic thing, unfortunately.
Is it porcelain?
I don't know. I'm not, I think, qualified
to answer that. I don't think I could
tell you if a thing was porcelain or not just by feel.
I wouldn't trust my porcelain
judgment. So it was an apple cake
because I feel like that's important.
It's the key part of the show.
You gotta make the batter.
Eric, we're all saline.
You gotta mix up the batter.
You got a lot of apples in there, right?
I just did another podcast with Eric earlier. He's on fire
today. Hey, Jeff, if I
showed you this picture, would you look at that
and go, a birthday cake?
No, it looks like somebody threw up
spaghetti. Really?
You think spaghetti? Yeah, I
think like a little bit of, a little like
rigatoni puke.
Really?
Oh no, that's a delicious, we got some
Cosmic Crisp Apple in there, we got
some Granny Smith, got a good mix
of theirs. This is making a delicious apple.
Oh, multi-apple.apple yeah apple threw it all
together you know we made it and this is my cake i want to introduce to you the regulation cake
look at that whoa looks like a pie it's a pie what i made a pie is it a pie gorgeous
that's regulation face pie no it's a cake it's a regulation face pie. No, it's a cake. It's clearly a cake.
What do you mean?
Is that?
It looks, Andrew,
it looks fantastic.
I'm very impressed.
It looks really great.
The text looks amazing.
Yeah, it really does.
I'm blown away.
This is like the amount
of effort you put into this
is so cool.
Why is Steve Jobs there?
So he, I assume,
barely touched it.
Did you touch this?
I came up with the premise
of this.
Okay.
All right. Okay. Okay. Never mind. Phenomenal font work for whoever touched it. Did you touch this? I came up with the premise of this. Okay, alright.
Okay, okay, nevermind.
Phenomenal font work for whoever did it.
Uh, does the cake get frosting at any point?
Oh, it doesn't need it. It's perfect.
Perfect as is. It's a delicious cake.
Huh.
You guys don't like this cake?
I really- I was gonna say that the text-
You fools!
You think it's a pie?
Okay.
It is not a pie!
It is a cake!
Right. In a pie! Oh, you put cake in a pie? Okay. It is not a pie. It is a cake. Right.
In a pie.
Oh, you put cake in a pie crust?
I put cake in a pie crust because I'm a pie guy.
Wow.
I prefer the pie crust more than the cake.
So this is it before it's done.
See?
You make, you get the pie crust.
You make the cake.
You put the cake in the pie crust.
Then you seal it up all nice and, it's like a tomb.
Seal it in like a mummy. then you seal it up all nice. It's like a tomb.
Seal it in like a mummy.
Got yourself a delicious fucking pie cake.
You've like turduckened dessert.
I've turduckened dessert and it is fucking delicious.
It is so goddamn good.
I would eat that.
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah, go ahead.
Has anybody, did you just invent this?
I did.
I looked at, well, maybe, I don't know.
I said that very confidently.
I searched online and I couldn't find anything anywhere that did this. So what's that, what is it, like a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, that's a fucking pie They'll be like oh look inside. It's actually a cake in a pie
You'd never see it um
So there's just a normal version of it without without the shell and that was pretty good I was like a really good cake then I tried the pig
Best dessert I've ever had
Wow, I think keeping it in the pie crust and made it so moist.
It was fantastic.
There's some stuff I need to innovate a little bit on it.
The bottom of the pie crust,
not fully cooked.
Need to need to time it a little bit better as far as that goes.
But I'm very proud of this.
Now we have to make a second cookbook.
Okay.
So I've done,
I've done a little bit of research in Andrew.
I will say what you've done is different
because people are going to tweet this.
People are going to be like,
you didn't invent it.
You didn't invent it.
Here's the pie cake.
And here's what I will posit.
Andrew, here's how yours is different.
Yours is a cake inside of a pie crust.
What you've done is you are turducken.
This is two separate pies inside of cake icing.
Yeah, there's frosting and stuff.
You've done something totally different from this.
So before people send this, and they're still going to do it, cake icing. Yeah, there's frosting and stuff. You've done something totally different from this. So, before
people send this, and they're
still gonna do it, I'm just letting
you know, you, sir, you're
an inventor. And I'm proud of you.
I'm proud of you. That's brilliant.
Steve Jobs of
Pake, right here, is what I am. You are
a true visionary, Andrew.
Congratulations. I am very,
very excited. You know what the best part is?
It's the regulation pick,
and then when you get halfway through,
it's a fuck pick.
It's great.
You have a lot of fun with that.
I'll put the recipe together.
I'm still tweaking it a little bit.
I can get it into the cookbook.
We still got time.
When I was looking at
it before i knew the cake was in the pie i was about to say that the the text was really icing
on the cake and then i realized you can't say that when it's literally a cake and there's no icing
like it isn't and i was like oh it's like the cherry on top i was like, nope. Why is extra mile shit always cake-based?
Is the icing on the cake,
is the cherry on top better than the icing on the cake?
Or are they both the same?
Use them both in a sentence, please.
Oh, you know, that's just the cherry on top.
Okay, what's the other sentence?
Oh, yeah, you know, that's icing on the cake.
I don't know that those.
Okay.
I don't like it.
I think they're the exact same thing.
Yeah, I think they're interchangeable.
What about when something takes the cake?
Does that help you one way or the other?
It depends on if the cake has icing or a cherry on it.
Who took the cake?
Whoop-tone.
Whoop-tone did I hear his feet.
Watch out!
This ad is brought to you by HelloFresh,
America's number one meal kit.
This summer, HelloFresh is here to take the workout of eating well.
Reach your goals with delicious calorie-smart and protein-smart lunch and dinner options.
Plus, new vegan recipes too.
Get farm-to-the-table quality with every HelloFresh box.
HelloFresh's seasonal ingredients are picked at peak ripeness
and travel from the farm to your doorstep in less than seven days for fresh flavor in every bite.
Figuring out what's for dinner is not the top of anyone's summer activity wish list. HelloFresh delivers mouth-watering
chef-crafted recipes and fresh ingredients to your door so you can spend your summer doing,
well, whatever you want. I love HelloFresh. The food is always so delicious. You get a variety
of recipes. It's so easy to understand, even if you're somebody who doesn't necessarily
have a lot of cooking experience.
I would highly recommend it to anyone.
So go to hellofresh.com slash face16
and use code face16 for 16 free meals plus free shipping.
That's hellofresh.com slash face16
and use code face16 for 16 free meals plus free shipping.
Cold turkey may be great on sandwiches, but there's a better way to break your bad habits.
And I'm not talking some weird ice tack cure thing. I don't know if you get those,
almost all of the fake products I get advertised are weirdly connected to ice being the basis of
it. We're not talking about that nonsense, though. We're talking about our sponsor fume
and how they look at the problem in a different
way.
Not everything in a bad habit is wrong, so instead of a drastic, uncomfortable change,
why not just remove the bad from your habit?
Fume is an innovative, award-nominated device that does just that.
Instead of electronics, Fume is completely natural.
Instead of vapor, Fume uses flavored air.
And instead of harmful chemicals, fume uses
all-natural delicious flavors. You get it. Instead of bad, fume is good. It's a habit you're free to
enjoy and makes replacing your bad habit easy. Your fume comes with an adjustable airflow dial
and is designed with movable parts and magnets for fidgeting, giving your fingers a lot to do,
which is helpful for de-stressing and anxiety while breaking your habit. Something I was struck by when I saw Fume is just the look of it. It's
beautiful real wood and the shape is just awesome. It looks so cool. It's something you would
definitely feel cool using. Stopping is something we all put off because it's hard, but switching
to Fume is easy, enjoyable, and even fun. Fume has served over 100,000 customers and has thousands of success stories.
And there's no reason that can't be you.
Join Fume in accelerating humanity's breakup
from destructive habits
by picking up the Journey Pack today.
Head to tryfume.com and use code FACE
to save 10% off when you get the Journey Pack today.
That's tryfume.com and use code FACE
to save an additional 10% off your order today.
Hey everyone, we wanted to take a moment to remind you that RTX 2023 is happening this July 7th
through July 9th. Join us this summer for a memorable weekend at our Camp for Indoor Kids,
featuring 15 plus live shows, special meet and greets, exclusive parties, fun panels,
and much more. with guests ranging from
your favorite rt groups like funhouse and achievement hunter to friends like therapy
gecko the super carlin bros and new rock stars rtx 2023 in this event you won't want to miss
badges for this three-day fun fest are available for as low as 55 dollars thanks for listening to
us get very excited about RTX.
We're looking forward to meeting all of you there.
So head on over to rtxaustin.com to get more information about the event
and buy your badge.
It kills me that I'm not going to be at the show this year.
Everything I've heard about it sounds so amazing.
It's going to be such a great time.
So definitely check it out.
What kind of cake does Whiptoad like?
What's Whiptoad's tone's dessert oh that's a big
question what's he gonna be liking uh maybe something with strawberry on the inside some
sort of glaze i'm i'm immediately picturing a red glaze he likes like a jelly filled like whooped
tone likes like yeah okay yeah something like that that is an amazing invention yeah congratulations
thank you can i ask what kind of cake Gavin likes
is that is it different I like a good
Colin the caterpillar
what oh it's probably like a
fudgy the whale I'm assuming
Colin it's a fudgy the whale
but the weird version
overseas I'm getting you an image
I feel like I've been asking a lot of questions
this episode but it has been paying
off dividends,
so I really, I don't feel too, too bad.
What the fuck is Colin the Caterpillar?
Or did he say, are it Cole in the Caterpillar?
Colin.
Is it Colin?
Colin the Caterpillar?
Colin the Caterpillar.
That's, oh.
It's a cake that looks like a caterpillar.
We should have expected this.
It's like a Fudgy the Whale type thing.
Yeah, sometimes you have little Smarties or M&Ms on top,
and it's like a chocolate swirl cake.
I'm definitely sufficiently whelmed.
This is sort of like not really what I was expecting, but it sort of is.
You're disappointed?
I'm not disappointed.
It just kind of is.
You know what I mean?
Just kind of, yeah.
Where can I get one?
Oh, you can bring it out cookie puss again?
It's cookie puss.
Yeah.
It's hard to beat cookie puss's hands.
They're fucking crooked.
Oh, those are hands.
Oh.
That never...
That's been making me laugh my entire life.
It's like his hands go down to his mustache.
He can, like, use his hands to make his jaw chew
if his mouth gets tired.
Where do you get a call on the Caterpillar?
Can I get that in America?
Well, this one that I posted, that's from M&S.
Marks and Spencer.
I'm going to guess that's not in America.
Can you import it? No, I don't know if I could. posted, that's from M&S. Marks and Spencer. I'm going to guess that's not an American. Can you import it?
No, I don't know if I could.
Yeah, let's import one.
Sneak one over?
We'll have that and a cookie puss.
The cookie puss, what's great about that is maybe you get an arm.
Maybe somebody gets a mouth.
Somebody gets it.
Like, there's different sections of character you could get.
Unless you get the head of your Colin the Caterpillar whatever the fuck. It's just
it doesn't look like anything. It's just
circular cake.
Let me show you a cross section. It's good shit.
I'm telling you. Show me a cross section.
What does this cross section look like?
No, it's just cake. It just looks like
cake. It looks good cake.
It looks fucking delicious to me, dude.
It does look delicious, but I'm saying the fun
the fun of a character cake is you get different parts of the character.
Yeah, you get his front arms or his middle arms or his back arms.
It doesn't even look like every section has limbs.
So like only half the people get part of the caterpillar.
Yeah, but if you don't get if you don't get the limb, you might get the diamond or the fucking crown on top.
Are there baby Colin the caterpillars?
What's going on in the background?
Yeah, that's quite disturbing.
I never had one with little slug kids.
But yeah, I guess you could eat...
You could just pop an entire child in your mouth.
Is Colin their royalty?
It's the royal family of cakes?
It looks like they're wearing a crown.
Oh, yeah.
That could be King Colin.
He's also got crowns on his back.
Yeah, I don't know.
I never had one that little like that.
Eric, would you say Big Dog or Gooch Pooch?
Is he into the cookie puss?
Yeah, I think he's, but that's the thing.
So am I.
Like, that's where I'm making, like, the differentiation.
It's hard for me to be an alter ego.
I'm just kind of me the whole time
and you have
if when I asked what Gavin
likes I didn't think call him a caterpillar
you know what
it was weird is that Gavin's answer was weirder
than his character's answer yeah I will agree with that
that's the strange thing
I wouldn't have expected that.
Man, I really want to eat one of these fucking caterpillars.
I'm going to have to go to England to do it.
Well, let's go.
How much of the caterpillar could you eat?
Could you eat one whole Colin?
Oh, definitely not.
You'd hoe.
Very rich.
I could eat half a Colin.
I could eat the face side.
I could eat the face half.
Oh, my God.
I've just found a picture. I think Colin might face side. I can eat the face half. Oh my God, I've just
found a picture. I think Colin might be
deceptively thick. Someone deep
fried one. Oh no!
That's terrible.
That's terrible.
Colin looks like
when they would find a character in the
Alien franchise that has been
stuck to the wall and is waiting
to die.in just looks so
oh like he's not having a good day yeah they're keeping it alive yeah like they've been infected
with the yeah host thing or whatever it's like oh no they're dead but they're still here that's
what colin looks like that's not good how much of the deep fried cake could you eat i bet that'd
be good as shit dude really uh one bite oh, I don't think I could go beyond a bite.
Nick says half of it.
That's bold.
I don't think that translates.
I bet it does.
I think for Nick, he's a...
Nick is like a garbage pail man.
Oh, no, definitely.
Yeah, Nick was born at a state fair.
Yeah.
Like, socially, I feel like Nick comes across as normal,
and then you fucking put a deep-fried call on the caterpillar in front of him.
You see the freak.
The freak comes out.
You actually would be more alarmed by Nick's weirdness because he would come.
He comes across as normal and then you just put something like that in front of him and you are you're scared.
You just described you just described face jam that that all that is is face jam.
It is Nick's the most normal guy and then then he's around food, and all bets are off.
What is your least favorite food, Nick, that you just can't stand?
Oh, that's such a tough question.
I want to say...
Nope, it's not that.
Just name any of them.
Can you think of a food you don't like?
Yeah.
No, I like everything.
I will eat anything.
No, I like anchovies.
Those are good.
What about those pickles in the bag that people are eating?
Oh, delicious.
Love them.
Gas station pickles?
Oh, yeah.
Is that what they're called?
I mean, that's what you buy them.
I like gas station hot dogs. Well, they're great. I mean, that's what you buy them. I like gas station hot dogs.
Well, they're great.
I mean, don't compare those.
No, don't judge a gas station.
A gas station hot dog has its time and place.
Yeah, the time and place was 18 years ago before it expired,
but they're still selling it to you.
No.
It's like a fine wine.
You need those 18 years.
It's fermenting.
Yeah.
Need a corkscrew, though.
How about, have you ever had haggis?
Do you like that?
Oh, I love haggis.
It's delicious.
No, you don't.
I do.
Yeah.
That's the worst.
I had it the last time I went to Scotland.
It was delicious.
Well, if you like haggis, there's nothing on earth you don't like.
Yeah, I'm kind of a freak.
Do you like olives?
I love olives.
I'm snacking them all day hey thanks man do you like cucumber uh you know what i'll tell you what cucumber my least favorite food there
you go there you go yeah that felt that didn't seem genuine yeah that was bullshit
really for and that's so inoffensive too like they're not strong. Yeah, but when people people who don't like cucumber fucking hate cucumber like that.
Yeah, if you if there's a cucumber in the room, he can smell it and he won't eat anything.
I don't right.
I don't believe it.
I don't believe it just because he was so fast to be like, I love the gas station.
Yeah, like that's why I just don't believe it.
But pickle, I know it.
It's just just cucumber technically,
but pickles are far superior,
and cucumbers are just like, meh.
Exactly, meh.
The food that you hate the most is just meh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He'd eat that fucking cucumber like Pac-Man,
and then just be like, eh.
Yeah.
But he'd still devour it.
I wouldn't enjoy it.
It's not a hurdle.
I love that we're making fun of a dude
who has a much healthier relationship to food
than any of us
because he's open to all of it.
And he's like,
his options are wide fucking open.
And I'm like,
you freak.
You weirdo.
You accepting weirdo.
I agree with some of that,
but if he's excited about deep fried
calling the caterpillar,
he's earned freak.
That's a freak thing.
Well, here's what we do then
to put it to the test.
Once Jeff has been gassed out of the port- the porta potty by the rancid fermented fish maybe nick has a little bit on toast oh oh my god what do you think i'm a little less inclined
for that idea that's a yes what uh yeah okay i'll try sure yeah he'll try it that's impressive
thank god hey i will say i felt in the past when we've done food things and nick when you've been
like you know what not bad that has meant something and it no longer does it no longer
means anything not in a negative way of your but you're a big food guy in a way that i've never
heard anyone else be he is a very positive food guy he he found things to like about my plumber's pizza
that did not really exist for anyone else oh the crust was so good i'd make it again decent crust
oh man speaking of uh the ingredients of your plumber's pizza i know i don't think any of you
guys watch the tv show succession um but it just it just ended they just had their series finale and in the last episode
uh they were like it's like siblings fighting over control of a company and it's like two
brothers and a sister and they were uh one of the brothers and the sister were pranking and
kind of fucking with the other brother and they made him they made him a smoothie that he had to drink.
And they put as much gross stuff as they could.
And then he had to drink it.
And they put a shitload of Branston pickle in.
And he really drank it.
Yeah, he really drank it, Jeremy Strong.
But they talked about it.
Like, Shiv was like, how about a spoonful of Branston pickle?
You love Branston pickle.
And I was like, oh, fuck.
Worlds collide.
That's amazing.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
It's the only time I've ever seen it in the wild.
I know I need to watch that show, and that's going to probably tip me towards making it
the next show I watch.
It's a good show.
Real good show.
You're going to have to make it through four seasons to get to the Branson pickle, though.
It's in the end game.
It's all good, though, right?
Yeah, it's really, really good.
It's funny.
It's funnier than i would have expected
do you want a slime update i'd love a slime please uh it's the same but i've got new fungus
oh no what's that and why is it eating my friends i think that fungus looks more delicious than
colin the caterpillar if that was you you are hateful not no not the i'm not saying the fungus is delicious saying if
you imagine that as a cake pattern i think that looks pretty good gavin i i don't think he likes
you anymore i love gavin there's a difference between loving somebody and i love him i love
him so much i know that's great that's what makes it harder i feel lucky to know andrew especially
when random people talk to me about him.
It is one of my favorite things now, and it happens
maybe every two weeks, somebody will approach
me to talk about f*** face, and then they'll
go like, so Andrew's real?
And it's just like...
Kind of, yeah.
Kind of?
Kind of real?
It's not like I've seen you in a while.
What movie have you watched that you remember
the least about it might be austin powers 2 it's funny you say really yeah i said somebody talked
to me about austin powers 2 and i didn't me i remember him but it was like the whole beginning
of the movie and i didn't remember it and i know i've seen that movie like 10 times and i just have
zero memory of what happened. Oh wow.
I've seen the Babadook like three times
I couldn't tell you anything about it. The only thing
I remember is that she was folding
clothes in her backyard. Why would
you watch the Babadook three times? Because
everybody said it was really good and
I watched it and fell asleep in it
and so I decided to watch it again and
then like a month later somebody was talking to me about it
and I realized that whatever I saw the second time,
I retained none of.
So I watched it a third time and fell asleep in it.
But I'm told it's a great movie,
but I've,
I've,
I can't,
I think I know,
I know she,
but fucking what's her name from the,
the detective show,
the Australian detective show.
She,
she's hanging some clothes in the backyard.
And then I guess there's another,
there's more to
the movie but that's all i remember and i've seen that part three times that's sort of it
he kind of got it i i really like three quarters of the babadook i think it's a really it plays
with this interesting theme of like is something supernatural happening or is this just like a
monster of a child to try to deal with and she was slowly losing her mind. Mrs. Fisher, that's the lady in it.
Is that her detective
name?
Yeah, that's her show she was in.
What about you, Gavin?
If you told me that the whole world
is now hostage and in order to save
the world, the planet, from blowing up
you have to tell me the plot
from Valerian,
that Luc Besson movie.
Everyone would be dead.
Like, I couldn't, I can't remember a single thing about that film.
But I sat through the entire thing.
Like, I went to the theater.
And it's worrying to me how I can't get anything out of my memory for that.
Valerian, the Guy Ritchie one where he's in prison?
No.
No, it's like a Cara Delevingne, like Fifth Element style.
Oh, okay.
Is What's-His-Face Magic Mike in that too?
Channing Tatum?
Channing Tatum.
I think you might be thinking of Jupiter Ascending.
I might be thinking of that one instead.
I've seen both of them, and I couldn't tell you anything about either of them.
Those are airplane movies.
Yeah, they are.
It's a great way to describe them.
It is just based on this cover.
It's the least charismatic people
you've ever seen being near each other in space.
Look at man.
Oh, is that Clive Owen?
And Rihanna?
It might be.
I think it might be Clive Owen.
Weird, great subcast.
It is Clive Owen and Rihanna.
To me, visually,
that's going to be something memorable in there.
But I remember literally nothing.
Was Rihanna in Valerian?
Apparently.
That can't be.
That can't be her.
Why would it be?
She was in fucking Battleship.
Yeah, but that was the
first movie it's her uh what is near some aliens and a robot also i think this was technically
an independent movie i think the director spent like 200 million dollars of his own money on it
this was luke bassong right yeah glad you made some really good movies before this one it looks like if you
asked like an ai to make a poster of a generic like sci-fi movie there's like no soul in any
of this which is weird because fifth element has so much soul yeah yeah crazy he made the
professional right i mean fuck he did yeah he made. Yeah. He made La Femme Nikita.
Dude, he made La Femme Nikita.
God damn.
I feel like he's got some bad movies.
He's got some weird action shit.
I don't know if he did all the Takens, but if he directed Taken 2 and 3,
that's not great for your resume.
Wait, did he direct it or write it?
He wrote.
Did he write?
Did he write them?
Did he not direct any of them?
Let me see.
I don't think he directed Taken.
No, he did not.
He directed Lucy, whatever the fuck that is.
Hey, are you thinking of the transporter, Andrew?
Yeah, maybe.
I like the transporter.
He wrote the transporter.
He wrote Taken as well.
He also did Taken as well.
I just maybe didn't direct it.
Yeah.
I got into Orangina because of the transporter as a kid.
That was my introduction to Orangina.
Great beverage.
Do you still drink it?
Yeah.
It's in my rotation.
It's not a regular, but there's a scene where, because of the transporter, he's transporting
something.
He doesn't know what it is.
Then it turns out to be a person,
and he cuts open their duct tape,
and he gives them Orangina through a straw.
And I was like, that looks good.
So I tried it.
It was good.
I'd recommend it.
Good advertising.
Effective, some may say.
If it's good enough for a hostage,
it's good enough for me. I good enough for me I wonder I wonder
if Orangina saw a bump when that movie
came out that'd be interesting that'd be
really interesting it's funny how that
works with movie people are so dumb like
when the graduate came out like plastic
stocks like invest in plastic like
people took that literally I watched a
thing about how like sideways completely shifted
the wine market
because he talked like he said I don't want another
fucking Merlot and Merlot
suddenly plummeted after it and there's a
scene where he has a monologue about how great Pinot Noir is
and Pinot Noir like
quadrupled in production
and then you got the value of the Don Zimmer card
oh yeah
there you go
another great example i never saw that movie sideways i'm glad either of us i just know that
it's like a known thing that it impacted the wine market i had a a nice moment with you recently
jeff was i a part of it i was yeah you were yeah you're involved you know i think it might tie
me back with gavin i think this could be the thing that maybe bridges us back
because he said there's some confusion.
There's some conflict.
Gavin is, you know, there's been a bird in my roof
that has been driving me crazy.
I have not been able to sleep.
Yeah, you sent me those files.
I need to check in on that.
Yeah, so I sent I sent Jeff the file
and he was he was kind enough to run it through
because my phone, it just kept crashing.
And when you run it through,
it tells you where other people have reported this bird.
There's some Oxfordshire.
I should have sent it to you.
You may have recognized it.
I may have grown up with it.
You may have grown up with this bird.
Here, I'll put the clip in now.
You can listen to it.
You can tell me if you grew up with this bird.
Here we go.
Bird chirp.
Oh. You can listen to it you tell me if you've you grew up with this bird here we go bird chirp oh you listen to it I'm playing it you you are
adjusted you got caviar Gavin came out He's the kind of guy that slips farts into birdsharp.mp3.
You're an animal.
Caviar, you're real good.
I just got two barrels of caviar.
Now, Jeff, had you really not listened to that?
No, I hadn't listened to it yet.
I forgot.
Oh, my God.
So I thought i had
been setting up this joke for over a month i had before you went to italy jeff i set it up where
i just i i was gassy and i was like you know what i'm gonna record a fart and i'll just have it
and oh that's great that's great eric He posted a meme of like the difference between me and Johnny Caviar.
Eric, can you turn off the gas coming out of Johnny Caviar?
Yeah, he's got a little poof out of his butthole.
I saw here.
I'll post.
I was going to share this as well with Johnny Caviar.
Somebody posted this in the Discord for the show or for face.
I thought that was funny.
Me is Winnie the Pooh.
Johnny Caviar.
funny me is winnie the pooh johnny caviar the problem with johnny caviar is it's just me without empathy you guys inventing like pushing the johnny caviar thing was a mistake but just to go back to
that gag that i would try to pay off i recorded it and i i was texting you about this jeff before
you went on your trip a long time ago.
Yeah.
And I queued it all up
and then I went to send it to you
and the file vanished.
And I had to like lie and be like,
oh, I don't know.
I'll get it.
I'll have to try to,
I'll have to try to find it.
So then I got another fart
and I was like,
when will I deploy this thing?
When do I want to do this?
And I just kept sitting on it.
Then I brought it up on the show
to like build to it a little bit more. then i thought okay it's time it's time to do
this i were you lying about the bird yeah no there's no bird i mean there are animal there
are there are birds in my roof but they're not waking me up um it was just all an invention
to try to get you to listen to my fart unknowingly. You said the fart was from Oxfordshire?
It may have been.
We are entering into a new era of paranoia and mistrust.
Was that the first Johnny Caviar blindside?
It is.
It's a Johnny Caviar move for sure.
But anyway, I had been sinning on this.
I set it up. I talked about it on the show. I was like, now I sitting on this. I set it up.
I talked about the show.
I was like,
now I can deploy this anytime I want.
And it was such a great face moment where I decided I am going to deploy this now.
And so I set it up to Jeff and I sent him the file and I was feeling real
good about myself.
And then I looked at my phone and I saw it was game three of Celtics versus
the heat was happening.
And they were down by 10 in the first quarter.
And I felt so bad.
I would never deploy a Johnny Caviar move against you in game three.
I was like, he's going to be so miserable.
This is so bad.
So I kept watching.
I check in on the game regularly to be like, please, for the love of God, win.
Win this fucking game.
I need you to win.
And they blew it.
It was their worst game of the series.
Well, to that point.
To that point.
Game seven was not great.
But they were absolutely dog shit in game three.
And I felt so much guilt that I deployed the move.
And you didn't acknowledge it at all.
Zero acknowledgement.
Here's the deal.
I've been trying to be less around my phone in general.
So I've been like making a concerted effort to put it in another room and then leave that
room.
So I just don't think about it.
I'm trying to break my fucking phone fumbling addiction and kind of just live more present
in the world
in front of me instead of on my phone uh but also i mean i've just been such a just a shuttered wreck
of a human because of this so the celtics heat series yeah that i was i've just been so distracted
i have been forgetting stuff left and right and i think i think i may have even seen it and then
been like well I clearly I have
bigger problems to worry about right now than identifying Andrew's bird because I'm dealing
with I'm dealing with the Celtics imploding for no fucking reason against a geriatric
non-fucking drafted bullshit team uh cobbled together under a phenomenally evilly wickedly
talented coach and uh and so i just it slipped out of my
the periphery of my memory and i didn't remember it until this one this this instance you brought
it up i'm glad i i felt so bad that i i i i feel bad that i ignored you and didn't realize it i'm
sorry i'm glad you did i even though it was aimed at us i really like Johnny Caviar I really liked bird chirp dot mp3
I think that was a fantastic intro to Johnny Caviar
I went through a lot of variations
on what to call it
it was a real
bird noise
should it be bird chirp or bird chirps
I'll just go bird chirp
it's calculated
I like Johnny Caviar.
Count me as a fan.
I like the idea of Andrew in a tuxedo at all times.
I don't think I've worn a tux since I was like five.
Since you were in that fucking Men in Black photo.
Oh, fuck.
You're right.
That would have been after that.
Yeah.
So it was probably like 10, probably like 18 years.
Do you think now that you've recovered from COVID
that you're ready for the marathon?
Fuck you.
Okay.
It's such an instant anger out the gate.
No.
Because I'm not 100% back yet anyway.
Okay.
Where are you at?
I'd say I'm at my peak 80%.
There are times where I'm down to 40.
How's the sleeping going?
Are you having better success?
I've had some...
I'm having some problems recently with the sleeping
in the sense of I have an issue that
I don't know if I'm remembering my dreams
or if I'm waking up and thinking I'm still in them.
I don't know if you guys have experienced this where like
you will wake up
and think something is happening that
is not that's tied to your dream and there's
no way it could happen.
So I'll give like an example when succession
when around this finale of succession
happened I had a dream
that somehow
I was involved in some financial
market and it either,
I don't remember if it crashed or if it spiked up and all of the pillows were
on a cool down timer from that point.
I couldn't use the pillows because they were on cool down.
They had to reset the pillow system.
And so I got up because I thought if all the pillows need to,
if all the pillows are in cool down,
what's even the point of trying to
sleep so i stood up and i got out of bed and i thought this certainly is not a reality what am
and i crawled back into bed and i went to sleep but i have used your sleep super and it used all
the pillows at once yes essentially it was like there was a countdown timer on the pillows and
it was like oh we need to recalibrate and so in my head i was like there was a countdown timer on the pillows and it was like, oh, we need to recalibrate. And so in my head, I was like, I can't use any of the pillows. What's the point?
I'll be honest. I'm glad to hear that you're in the bed and on the bath.
on my bedside table and the dr pepper cured all covet symptoms and i was very excited about this i was like we gotta we gotta let the world know uh that this dr pepper is uh is a cure cure for all
and then i realized oh no if we tell people everyone's gonna try to drink my dr pepper
and it's just gonna it's all gonna go away i gotta go hide this dr pepper so i woke up because
i did vigilantly guard my dr. I was very concerned about it.
It sounds like it takes you like 45 seconds to get out of sleeping.
It happens sometimes.
It's been a lot recently.
Have you ever sleepwalked before?
No.
Not that I'm aware of.
Seems like you're borderline doing it.
Like you're giving yourself tasks and you're out of bed and you don't even realize you're awake.
I mean, I... Remember when we were doing i was trying to beat gavin's
trial time i was dream i dreamt that i was on a trials bike and i head butted the wall
i got up on my knees and i had to adjust like the the body distribution on the bike to try to
keep going so i guess yeah i'm like i'm, I'm not sleepwalking, but I'm sleep
doing. You're sleep active.
I'm sleep positive, for sure.
Undeniably.
Well, I'm glad you're finally testing positive for sleep.
Oh, testing
positive is not a problem.
I'm real good at that. Not still, though, surely.
No, I tested
negative on like day 13.
But I'm still dealing with some
chess stuff. But we're getting better.
Well, okay.
That was a nice podcast. We learned a lot about
people.
I guess we did. I was sitting here trying to think
like Emily's going to come home from work later and she's going
to ask me how the podcast went. And I'll say, I think it went
really well. I felt pretty good about it. And she's going to ask
what we talked about. And I'll have no fucking it went really well I felt pretty good about it and she's going to ask what we talked about and I'll have no
fucking clue just recite the plot of Valerian
Colin the Caterpillar
and
I don't know see if she knows
that you need to put your
air pods inside the air pod holder or if you
can put them inside an egg
does all white plastic
charge Apple products right
is there a way without any context you
could just say ram scoop or whoop tone yeah can you that's exactly what i was gonna say
i think that's i want to know what she thinks i'll try to remember she has does she already
have too much context for ram scoop no that hasn't i don't know if that's out i guess it's out i
think it's out i think it's out yeah she fucking listens to she'd know yeah i mean it's definitely
out because i've gotten nothing but tweets that say gooch pooch so uh yeah no it's out yeah she fucking listens too she'd know yeah I mean it's definitely out because I've gotten nothing but tweets
that say Gooch Pooch
so yeah no it's out
no no no no
no don't send him tweets
calling him Gooch Pooch
oh it's
no it's fine
or the Gooch
or Lil Gooch
or Big Gooch
or the Gooch-er
or Gooch-X
yeah yeah no it's fine
or Malcolm Gooch
or any of those
just call him Big Dog
I don't know about that
he just wants to be Big Dog.
My favorite was someone was calling him Goosh.
Yeah.
Goosh.
Like douche with a G.
That's very funny.
Okay, wrap this up.
End this episode, please.
What are you going to call this one, Eric?
The title of this episode is Ram Scoop versus Whoop Tone
and Turduckened Dessert.
Oh.
I totally forgot about this.
See?
See?
These are teasers where you go,
what the fuck?
What could this episode be about?
And then you get a little thing
at the beginning
and something about halfway through.
It feels good.
Yeah, I like Bird Shop.mp3.
That's a pretty good one. All right, all right. I got it. I'll change that. It's good. I like bird ship. Don't be three. That's pretty good.
All right.
All right.
I got it.
I'll change that.
It's good.
Well, there you go.
Hopefully, if you're listening to me say this, that means you listen to the whole fucking
podcast.
And boy, do we appreciate you doing that.
That's not easy.
Hopefully, you left feeling good, too.
Let's everybody feel good.
And let's go tell some other people.
Hey, are you having a bad day?
Could your day, is it your day's fine, but it could be better?
Do you want to feel good?
Listen to the F*** Face podcast.
You'll feel real good.
Bye. Hey guys, Major League
Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode
of F*** Face. We're going
to the past. Someone from Nanaimo
won. Gavin goes to face.
Jeff hits up eBay for Condor Man.
That's just too much money for a robot. Let's get big into Snoopy lore. And once again,
Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face. We'll see you next time.