F**kface - Sausage Talk 2
Episode Date: March 28, 2023In their second office day, Geoff, Gavin, Andrew, Producer Eric, and Audio Engineer Nick get together to talk about bits that have been dropped through the history of the show, scheduling bits, the co...smic crisp care package, and the Best of F**kface. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma,
is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam.
Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply
explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics,
groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics.
Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten
destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation
of Beastrin.
Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice.
Your choice, that is.
From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills.
And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is
really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge
roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in This is a Rooster Teeth production.
Alright, well, here we are.
Sausage Talk.
Episode 2. I'm dizzy.
Yeah. You're still dizzy.
I got a gut full of soda.
We did the Gerpler, no Burpler for...
Have we talked about what that's...
Yeah, I think so. Yeah. It's for the...
I think we have, haven't we? I don't know.
I looked at you and I said, have we talked about this?
We filmed this special video
that goes on the 10 golden Gerplers.
Yeah. Which is a thing I think
we've established. I hope that it's a thing we haven't established
and people are listening to this and going,
the 10 what?
Who knows?
There's a special thing for the winners of the Golden Gerbs
that will probably end up visible for everyone to see.
Probably.
It's up to the audience.
Depending on the people who win.
Winners is a weird way to phrase it.
It's just random.
10 people who buy this cup will get this.
Well, the lottery is random isn't it
yeah I guess
that's fair
hey you know what
that was a great
counterpoint
pretty interesting
take Gavin
we're not doing
the boring thing
that's not what this is
I'm not saying we are
I just think he's
really interesting
kind of hanging on
his every word
we're gonna make
Andrew deafen again
we can't
what a fascinating
life
we're not doing it
we were trying to
figure out earlier
who's more boring me or Jeff and Andrew got so boring he's deafened again. What a fascinating life. We're not doing it. We were trying to figure out earlier who's more boring, me or Jeff,
and Andrew got so boring he's deafened.
We're going to fight about this who's more boring later.
It is definitely me.
I'm so boring.
No, you're not.
All right.
So what's on this sausage talk?
What's on the docket?
I have a list of things.
Okay.
Because I feel like we have a lot of bits in the ether.
Eric was kind enough to make a post on the subreddit.
Yeah.
Me and Andrew talked about this and,
uh,
he reached out on the discord.
I made a post on the subreddit,
uh,
cause I think Andrew's idea is very good.
Reach out to the audience.
Say what bits have we dropped?
What's some things where we left them in the dust,
but we should maybe pick up again.
And when we talked about it,
I said,
uh,
I will,
I'll make the post on the subreddit because otherwise everyone's just gonna go can you eat the pencil i eat the pencil oh motherfucking eat
the pencil print the log can you do the pencil like that's all it's gonna be and he said i'll
go on the discord because they're a little bit uh sick of the pencil and then uh so i made this
post and uh hopefully we got some good responses i'm sure we did i did yeah i kind of i pulled a
list from there,
and I feel like we can either address certain things
or be like, you know what?
Actually, we don't want to do that.
We have no interest.
So at least it has a conclusion.
Let's do that.
For people who are maybe waiting for something.
That's a great idea.
Fucking awesome.
In addition to that,
I have the Cosmic Crisp care package I can open up,
and Gavin has the best of face he can show us.
Yeah, I've been working on the best of face,
which I can play for you on this here.
Sausage talk.
We'll also see how much time we have,
but we do have a list of merch that we need to figure out if we're going to,
because now we're doing bits for the show and I really need answers on stuff,
which was the purpose of sausage talk.
Right.
So,
um,
I mean,
again,
this is what a surprise,
but,
uh, Andrew, do you want to, you want to lead us off with some bits that maybe we left in the dust?
Sure.
So, like, obviously, I feel like I have the leading things that I think I need to do.
20,000 things list.
Something that will still, I'm still working on it.
It will eventually drop suddenly.
Okay.
So, you're just adding to the list?
What do you mean? Do you think it's going to drop suddenly in approximately 20're just adding to the list what do you mean do you think it's
going to drop suddenly in approximately 20 000 days uh yes yeah that feels like a long time one
thing a day maybe no i'm doing more than one thing a damn i'm going in chunks when i revisit it but
it is i'll be honest i thought you just straight up failed that yeah no absolutely not i'm still
working on it it's still progressing it's not something i forgot about do we want to make like a document so we could reference this 20 000 days 54 years probably
okay yeah andrew yeah i'll be done by that i'll be done by that hey andrew this is what i wanted
you to do when you made the list is put it on this like Google doc. So we could access it.
We could look at like,
go line by line and have it numbered.
And then you did it your own fucking way.
And that's why the bit dropped.
And Eric was very clear upfront on how you shouldn't do it.
Highly opinionated.
Highly right.
Yes.
Nobody said you were.
No,
you're right.
Oh my God.
I don't like the word opinionated when it's not an opinion,
when I'm right,
when it's a fact, I didn't move to a doc i'm now in a google doc so i'm doing it that way
okay so here's the thing highlight everything and then where you can like bullet point down
select the numbered one so that way every time you do a new line it gives a number
does that make sense makes sense yeah yeah got it nice definitely don't got it but i got it
got it next thing on the do we want to make a a like google doc and this so we can like reference
in the future no i think i think i want to see what these things are and then we'll okay i think
we can kind of pick them up naturally that's how it feels okay yeah so next thing me finishing on
my thing i still have three marathons obviously. That was a fucking insane
plan for me to make.
That was...
From the time I've stated that
to now, I've grown a little
as a person. I think I've become a little wiser.
A little less burger confidence.
It's still a thing I'd like to do, but it's just not
possible for me to do.
What if you chipped away at it slowly?
Or are you saying you have to do them in one go?
I know, I think I want to do what I said I would do
of the three in a week.
I want to give it an honest try,
but it's just not,
there's zero realistic way that that would happen.
The way you feel about these marathons
is vastly affected by the percentages of your ankles.
What are we at right now?
My ankles are great.
The problem is when I made that declaration
and then I really fucked up my ankle for like four months uh last year and it just i think i grew wiser
in that time of not being able to do anything of like you know what i am human i am mortal
you know i cannot just declare you know what i am i accept it i accept my humanity after all
these years i I'm human.
That was one of the first things I ever learned.
Yeah.
You know, I would expect that from such a boring individual like yourself.
That makes sense.
That lines up.
That's on par for you.
Now we can move away from me, I feel, and go to Jeff.
Okay.
You still have to throw a second baseball. Real quick, I wonder
how long it would take you to walk
a marathon throughout the
course of a regular day. Like, if you just turned a
step counter on, and it just, like,
told it to ding you when it hits 26.2
miles, do you think it would take you, like, a week?
A month? Yeah, what if you
walked from mole to mole in a straight line?
Oh, that'd probably do it. Oh, mole to mole?
That would knock it out real quick.
If we use...
That might be one marathon in itself.
The average male step length of 30 inches.
That means your marathon would be 55,374 steps to complete.
Interesting.
That's lower than I would have anticipated.
Do you realize how many
55,000 is because you can't name
20,000 things and this is more than
double yeah no that's fair
that's two and a half steps per thing right
you can think and walk
you can kill two birds
with one stone
I feel like you're supposed
to walk for fitness they say 10,000 steps a day
so that's only five and a half days
yeah that doesn't seem too bad
that seems feasible
I need to throw a second baseball
you need to throw a second baseball
you threw one I don't even remember what you clocked in at
like 62, 43, 42, 49, 50
now obviously you've had a lot of stuff going on
I feel like you still deserve some time to train
potentially or adjust in some way
well I'm not even
convinced that the gun we have works right
I could have been thrown harder than that
we could do an actual
we could just use footage
we can measure the ball
with inches or centimeters and then
use the footage to see how fast it went
once again using we
what do you mean
I'm gonna be honest you just bored the shit out of me and then use the footage to see how fast we're going. Once again, using we. All right, well, what do you mean? Well, I do it all the time
in videos for like bullets and stuff.
Oh, really?
I'm going to be honest.
You just bored the shit out of me with that.
We're not doing this.
That's not helping me out right now.
This bit's a bit that we should drop.
There's a bad bit.
Who's more boring bit is a bad bit.
It's not a bit.
It's not good.
It's not a bit.
I'm more boring than you.
Eric, it's the hands we've been dealt.
I have the lamest fucking life and I refuse
to sit here and be told
that Gavin's life is lamer than mine.
You can mute and I'll just wave my arms when we're
fucking done with this part. It's not a lame-off, it's just
a bore-off. Yeah.
Boring is lame. So you threw
44. 44. Yeah.
I'm happy with it. The goal was
80. Yeah. Could you do 60
this year? Yeah.
How much time do you need?
And then we'll get out there again.
Is the shoulder more or less seized up than it was then?
I'm at like...
I'm trying to categorize.
What happened last time is that he was going to do it,
and then he got back arthritis.
Oh, right.
I'm doing...
Oh, you know what?
Oh shit, there's a four alarm house fire
in Arden Heights, New York.
Got the notification on my phone.
What if you held out
your arm and
we just drove a van into it
with a mattress on the front?
I think
I could get to 60.
I'm like,
with the exception of an ankle issue,
I'm at like 95%. I don't understand where 60 is coming from.
60 miles an hour.
Gavin said,
could I throw 60 this year?
It's halfway between where he threw
and where he needs to be.
Okay, so we're seeing
if he can still not get to where he said he could get.
We're working our way up.
Yeah.
Gavin's idea is to get to 80.
You got to iterate.
Yeah.
I would go with built in a day.
I want Jeff to win this.
I think we need to set a new line.
I think 60.
I'll get to 60.
And then when I get to 60,
that's the milestone I'll hit.
And then we'll evaluate from there.
And I think we'll bin that little radar gun.
Because who knows if that was accurate.
Yeah.
It was.
When do you want to throw? You think the radar gun because who knows if that was accurate. It was. When do you want to throw?
You think the radar gun was broken
and that's why Jeff threw 44.
You think that's the reason.
You think that the radar gun was broken.
I don't know.
We weren't using it properly.
Yeah, like is it measuring his arm?
Is it measuring the ball?
How do we know what it sees?
When do you want to throw the baseball?
When do you think that like
you want like the first week of May?
It is February 17th for everyone at home. It is February 17th right now. I just want you to know, Gavin, the baseball when do you think that like you want like the first week of may it is it is february
17th for everyone at home it is february 17th right now i just want you to know gavin i really
i really like you right now i really appreciate you right now i like having you on my side
we're a good team i want to i'm pretty pro gavin right now big fan when do you think you could
throw 60 i think i need to here's what i think we need to do. I think we need to set a new baseline.
And we'll
double verify it. We'll use the shitty gun that we
have and Gavin's science method
and see if we can determine
if they're roughly the same. Then we'll know
and then we'll know what I'm actually throwing at.
Because I might already be at 60. You're not.
I might have been at 60 that day
and the gun malfunctioned. Eric didn't even
go. You didn't even...
How do you know what you threw?
Because it's not 60.
I think we need to set a new baseline in 2023
because I might already be there.
I've been lifting weights.
I might already be there.
Not to interject too much with you.
I know you're trying to schedule, Eric.
We should do this at the same time.
You guys have been talking about wanting to throw fruit
to see what fruit could be thrown the furthest. You could do both of these things at the same time. Yeah guys have been talking about wanting to throw fruit to see what fruit could be thrown the furthest.
You could do both of these things at the same time.
Yeah. F***face has a toss.
I want
to get the toss off. I want to
get one thing done.
Okay. For this show,
I simply want to do one thing.
I think we've been pretty good at doing things recently.
We've done some things. Dude, we've done so much
supplemental content. Yeah. Recently, yes. Andrew and I filmed the whole secret podcast recently. We've done some things. Dude, we've done so much supplemental content.
Yeah.
Recently, yes.
Andrew and I filmed the whole secret podcast yesterday.
Can I ask again?
When?
Okay.
What's today?
February 17th?
Yes.
God, I'm looking at Eric thumb through his calendar.
It is a shit show.
Look at that.
That's ugly.
It's all the time.
If you printed each page of that, you could make a piece of art.
When does baseball start?
When's opening day?
April 7th? No, no, no, no. It's the end of March. When does baseball start? When's opening day? April 7th?
No, no, no, no.
It's the end of March.
They moved it up.
Oh, did they?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's do it on opening day.
You want to do what on opening day?
I'm going to set a new baseline.
You're going to set a new baseline on opening day.
The day that I want to watch baseball.
You're going to watch.
You're going to watch me throw a baseball.
What's more baseball than baseball?
I'll get Padres
opening day 2023.
Can we just drag a TV
out and have it on?
Oh, I'm definitely
going to have it on
my phone.
Yeah, absolutely.
Thursday, March 30th
at 1.10 p.m.
against the Padres
host the Colorado
Rockies.
Oh, that's great.
We'll do it that
morning.
We'll throw baseball,
set a baseline,
celebrate with breakfast
and then we'll release Eric to go watch baseball. Then we'll return and throw baseball set a baseline celebrate with breakfast and then we'll
release eric i go watch baseball then we'll return okay and film face in the afternoon uh
face tossers um add people jeff and then we'll get our fruit going i found a fucking awesome
apple andrew i'm gonna add you even though you're not necessarily like i just want you to have
you know like full visibility.
Yeah.
Have like a real look at it.
Nick and putting it on your calendar as well.
Okay.
And face tossers 10 to 11 a.m.
We can go longer if we need to on Thursday, the 30th.
Sweet.
Great.
Perfect.
I got the invite from Eric right there.
One thing down.
Say yes. Boom. Yes. Locked in. I got the invite from Eric right there. One thing down.
Say yes.
Boom.
Yes.
Locked in.
Okay.
Gavin's going to put maybe.
I'm not a maybe putter.
I'm a nothing or a yes.
In the same way.
Yes, very rarely means maybe. Maybe doesn't, it's not doing anything for me.
Maybe it's just a middle finger.
Maybe just says I acknowledge that you sent me this.
Yes.
And you know that I've seen it.
I'm not going to give you any useful information. about what i'm gonna do with it but i am letting you know i saw it okay so we have a bait we're going to have a baseline
for when you throw the ball yeah and then you're saying in three months after that you can like
all-star break like i think i think well let's see where we are right it's hard to determine
if i'm at 30 it might be at 30, it might be hard.
It might be hard to get there in three months,
get to 60.
If I'm already at 60,
then there's no point in doing it again.
I'll just go straight for 80.
Okay.
Fair play.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sounds good.
Well,
we'll, we'll aim for marked improvement 90 days after.
Okay.
That's what I'm looking for.
90 days.
Thank you.
Marked improvement.
Okay.
Even if it's me getting from like
78 to 81 or whatever.
If that's all I can muster.
Because I'm already at the top.
It's not even worth having the conversation.
It doesn't matter.
Andrew, thank you.
That's a good bit that we can pick up.
Next one?
The chip off.
We need to do chip and chip.
We got the vagina and the penis
flavored chips we saw.
Don't eat those.
I mean, that could be a side thing within that.
I'm not putting that as one of my chips.
I think your original idea was that each would submit three flavors,
and then we determine who had the best selection.
I think the issue here mainly is logistically,
how do we get all the chips to everyone?
Are we going to try and do that in person,
or are we going to try and do that?
No, I think it should be an episode. I don't think try and do that? No, I think it should be an episode.
I don't think it should be supplemental content.
I do think it should be an episode. I think
that we'll... I'll have
to order them. So
everybody needs to get you a list of their chips.
And then you'll figure out how to get it to everybody.
Five each, right? Yeah, five each.
And then I'll work with...
And I represent America in this, right?
Yeah.
I have to get an associate producer.
I can get someone to help me with this.
I just don't have time to do it.
Top of the line.
I'm going to grab Kat.
Yeah.
A plus.
I bet you can.
She can do it.
I think Stacey has time or no?
Yeah, probably.
Yeah.
I'll see if she can help.
If we can get...
I can get an associate producer to help me with this.
I can get everything sent.
We can budget against it.
It should be fine.
We're going to have to import stuff with this. I can get everything sent. We can budget against it. It should be fine.
We're going to have to import stuff from England and then send it to Canada.
But we can, I can do that directly, I think.
Okay.
Instead of sending it here and then sending it out, I would just send it directly to Andrew.
This could potentially be more expensive than you think, but hopefully we have the credit card.
It is going to be a lot more expensive.
I mean, it's going to be a price point that is not worth it,
but we're going to do it.
Hell yeah, we're going to do it.
Hell yeah, it's really expensive.
Okay, cool.
Then that's a good one.
Thank you, Andrew.
That's a good one.
If Rooster Teeth came to us and said,
your potato chip bet is too expensive.
Oh, no, We'll be fine.
No one else here is going to have to hear about it.
It's just going to be people
talking to me
and I'm going to go,
don't worry about it.
As a company that had a show
based around chips,
if we can't do our own chip bit,
I'll be livid.
Yeah, there you go.
There you have it.
Okay, Andrew, next.
Next one is
Tuxedo Photoshoot.
The poster.
Tuxedo. You've got to do tuxedo you gotta do the photo shoot
i can work with cameron uh i can work with cameron to find time to shoot something in the next
god i'll work with you and you too and uh it's just a still though isn't like yeah like yeah
it's like two weeks like you're gonna be jackie chan and i and I'll be Jennifer Love Hewitt and then we'll have Andrew
somewhere in the picture
represented.
Like on the foot of the kick
or something.
I don't know.
Yeah, because we'll put the
we'll put this on the bottom of it, right?
Yeah.
The VCK?
Yeah.
I guess he's not
he's not on that though.
Maybe he could be like
like opaque in the background.
Like
like
like Obi-Wan Kenobi
in in a new book. Yeah. like opaque in the background like like uh like obi-wan kenobi and
yeah
okay cool
i just i ping cameron
he'll be able to shoot the photo if we
we could i know it's not
i
know it's not canon with the photo
but if we could get him a costume andrew could be the
water strider just like a
bug
right put him in a bug costume or just like on his back little wings you don't want to dress up as a
bug andrew you don't want to be no i don't want to be the water strider why no that's a terrible
role hey while we're scheduling while we're scheduling since we're having such a great
time with this i don't not to jump on the andrew's bit, but could we schedule Condorman too, just so we have that?
So here's the thing.
You brought it up earlier.
Is that what we're doing?
Are we doing Condorman?
Yeah.
Okay.
I didn't feel like we had landed on, yes, we're doing.
I think there's an expectation with the audience.
Yeah, we should do that.
Trust me.
Trust me when I say I don't care about the expectation with the audience.
When it comes to what we, oh, what things we feel like we're on the hook for,
we should dictate what we want to do.
I feel I want to do Condorman.
That's what I'm looking for.
And I want to make the ice cream.
We talked about making the Condorman crunch.
Oh, oh, oh, making the Condorman ice cream.
Condorman crunch.
And we talked about doing like, like making it like hand cranking ice cream.
Okay.
So if I'm looking at a Friday,
a third,
let me keep going.
I love every time I talk about cool food,
I look over at Nick and he's like,
yeah.
You don't know,
this guy on fucking Face Jam is,
he's like a gremlin.
Yeah.
Like full on.
That's why I won't allow him to take
the most normal person in the room.
But here's the thing. But you're saying outside of this allow him to take the most normal person in the room. But here's the thing.
But you're saying outside of this stuff,
you're the most normal person. Outside of
what Nick does here, he
I think is the most regular dude
in the world. The
problem is, when we start going to Schlotzky's
and he goes, you know they're owned by Cinnabon,
right? And I don't even want a Cinnabon.
What would it even look like if we got one? What if I
ate, what would a Cinnabon even taste
like like it's like this
you wouldn't dare me to eat four Cinnabons right now
that's crazy
it's just that you go okay
I do
agree I think Nick is a regulation dude
yeah absolutely
the 10th of March
is a Friday okay 1pm
is it our time?
Let me see.
Okay.
Check my calendar.
Gavin's not even bothering.
Oh, now he is.
Didn't.
He's not bothering.
He's just pretending to look. Just was looking.
He was looking straight ahead at Jeff.
Which day of March?
10th, Friday.
Friday, March 10th, 2023.
Pretty open for me.
Pretty open for me.
Andrew?
Pretty open for Nick. What are we me. Andrew? Pretty open for Nick.
What are we doing?
What are we talking about?
How?
How?
Why?
How?
What the?
Come on!
I forgot.
I forgot what we were talking about.
We're talking about the tuxedo, right?
Oh my god!
Oh, Condorman!
I remember Condorman.
Yeah.
Good.
Well, thumbs up.
You fucking ran Gavin out of the room.
No, I just forgot what we're talking about
because I was looking at the list
and thinking about some of the upcoming things.
Right, right, right.
No, I understand.
You were thinking two or three moves ahead.
I was.
Yeah, I understand.
Absolutely.
I'm in.
All right, well...
You're in for what?
The date and time that you stated.
I'm sorry.
Just to remind me, what would that be?
Go ahead and just go ahead and hit me with it one time.
The date and the time that I gave.
Hit me, Andrew, one more time.
Yeah, go ahead.
Worcester.
10?
10 a.m.?
My time?
10 a.m.
10 a.m. your time on what was the date?
March 22nd?
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, that's what I said.
Yeah, that's what the fuck I said.
Yep.
Kevin had an empty day in March, right?
I was reading.
I'm in.
Whatever.
I'm committed.
March 10th, buddy.
Go team.
We'll see you March 10th.
Go team.
March 10th?
Oh, wow.
Great. The condors will fly. Wait, do I have something on March 10th? team we'll see you march 10th go to march 10th oh wow great the condors will fly wait do i have something on march 10th oh my god i'm just kidding i'm just
kidding 1 to 5 p.m so it's not 10 a.m your time 11 a.m okay so you have some time to sleep in
make some brekkies and then get going make some ice cream you can enjoy with condor man 1 to 5
p.m we will do it like we did last time where
I'll show the movie.
We'll all be at home.
Excellent.
Sounds good.
Fantastic.
Okay.
Condor Man is scheduled.
Next on the list.
Next one. Not necessarily a scheduled thing.
I'm going to say yes to today's.
There we go. Off the stage.
Thanks, man.
F*** Face Plays Video Games.
Just as a thing we do.
I'd like to do this. Like a Warzone thing.
We should have a Warzone time.
Now, here's my question.
If we were to do that, if we were to film
a Let's Play style video
in us playing Warzone, whether it be threes or fours or whatever, do we create like an edited Achievement Hunter video that we release kind of style?
Or do we just stream it?
And if people tune in to watch it, I think it should be a VOD.
You think it should be a VOD?
OK.
Yeah.
Because of different perspectives.
Like if we're streaming, I don't know.
Nothing.
Nothing boring about what's going on with Gavin's's face right now oh a little bit he's got about he's got some popcorn in his
beard um okay so we would make we would film it and so i need a filming setup here's here's what
i think we stream it we can archive it if we want to we don't do it for multiple perspectives you
just have the one that somebody's streaming from okay and you're good with that if we want to we don't do it for multiple perspectives you just have the one
that somebody's streaming from okay and you're good with that if we start doing achievement hunter
which is i don't know if you're familiar a company that you started and now has become
a much larger thing but then you're just doing it again and i don't think it needs to become that i
think you don't want to do that yes i think you just stream from the one perspective and then
have it be the lobby
where you guys are playing together.
I think a VOD is way better.
I'm less interested in that.
You think...
Because we're not going to be shitting these out
like playing games every day.
This is like purposeful,
like definitely like,
oh, we want to do this Warzone thing one time.
So don't do it live,
but record it and release it?
Is that what you're saying?
At some point, yes.
I think it's just way better
when you can cut between angles.
Okay.
But not like,
we're not establishing
that we're a gaming channel
and we're going to start
cranking out gaming content.
No, absolutely not.
This is like,
this is no different
than us watching
the tuxedo
or hitting baseballs.
I don't like this.
Absolutely.
We reviewed apples once.
We don't do that all the time.
We do it once.
So what's in that package
right there?
That's the fruits
of our apple labor. I don't agree. I will time. We do it once. So what's in that package right there? That's the fruits of our apple labor.
I don't agree.
I will do this if you guys are saying that you think this is the best way to do it.
I disagree that this is something that we should be doing.
Okay.
That's it.
I can do it.
We can do it.
I'm not for it.
Here's the deal.
We'll put a pin in that one.
No, no, it's fine.
We can figure it out.
We can get it scheduled, and we can do it.
My question to you, Gavin, specifically is,
if we're going to make this at some point,
however we decide to make it,
whether we just stream it like Eric's idea
or we make a VOD like your idea,
will you help me set up my computer and stuff?
Yeah.
I need to connect an Xbox into it.
Why don't we just do it here?
Okay.
I have no problem with any of this.
I can get this set up.
And Andrew's set up, we can either do the
thing where you plug in an external
drive to the Xbox and just capture to
that directly from the Xbox.
You can do that. Or we can get a capture
set up, which will be more effort, but
either way, we can just
get his footage that way. Okay.
We can... Sounds like
something we should continue to talk about.
I don't like that Eric doesn't like it.
I don't like doing stuff
that Eric doesn't like.
I'm for it if you guys want to do it,
but I really want to make it known
that if you're asking
if this is the direction
that we should be doing
this type of stuff,
I don't think so.
I think releasing a VOD
that's a single perspective
is the way to go,
but it doesn't matter to me.
That's all.
I'll be honest.
It doesn't really matter to me either.
I just want to play Call of Duty with you.
Totally.
And when we played Call of Duty the other night,
it was 100% content and it was good content.
And so if we're going to be playing it and it is content,
we might as well find a way to share that on occasion without creating any
expectations that Jeff that jeff is
going to be a professional professionally bad video game player again which he is not and is
not and that's not my life anymore i think that's where you start where that this is to me where it
starts getting fuzzy where you're saying yeah where where you're saying like oh i'm not setting
any expectations we as deliberate as we're being, we cannot do that.
Yeah, but we don't do,
like we've commentated
on two movies.
I understand.
And then what's the expectation?
What's the next one?
Oh, here's another movie
they should do.
Here's another one
they should do.
Here's the next thing.
We just said that
we don't care about expectation.
Like we just,
we do the thing
that we want to do.
This has just come
from the games
that we're playing
in our personal lives
and having fun
very occasionally.
I understand that. I understand that.
If we understand that, I'm talking about all of the people listening to this who are definitely not involved in this conversation, but are still going to have that expectation regardless.
And that's fine if that's what we want to do.
If we want to play these games and do this stuff, let's do it.
I will help facilitate.
I'll produce it.
I'll put it together. That's fine.
My issue is that I do think
that it's going to only
get the conversation
going in that direction
from now on. Here's the next
thing they should play. How come they're not playing this?
Here's the other game. How come we're not commentating
on X movie?
I wish we had a camera just on
Gavin eating this popcorn.
You're seeing this, right?
You're watching
what's going on
with Gavin and the popcorn?
Okay.
It's hideous.
It's disgusting
what you're doing
with that popcorn.
I'm trying not to drop it
into my beard
so I don't have to
like rock it in.
It's so fucking gross
what you're doing.
You make food gross.
Well,
we will find a time
to talk about
when we can get this set up
so we can get Andrew set up.
Your guys'
we can get it all recorded
and good to go.
Here's the deal.
At the end of the day,
Eric is the producer of the show
and I trust him.
And so,
even if I don't always agree
necessarily,
I trust Eric.
But if you guys are saying
that this is the thing
that you want to do,
I'm not going to be the one
to put my foot down
and say,
no, you're not.
I'm going to say,
here's how I feel. Let me help you do the thing that you want to do. I'm not going to be the one to put my foot down and say, no, you're not. I'm going to say, here's how I feel.
Let me help you do the thing that you want to do.
So that that's it.
As long as I'm heard,
then I don't care.
I don't think you're necessarily like,
I agree with you.
I just don't think war zone is a game that that would translate well with.
Like,
I think for other things,
if we want to do it,
it'd be perfect,
but I just don't think war zone would make sense for how that game is
structured.
Okay.
Gavin keeps looking at me side.
I'd eat popcorn in his beard yeah
gavin's decided that instead of being embarrassed
by having popcorn in his beard he's gonna make sure
that nobody ever eats popcorn again
by making it
look so disgusting to ingest
okay we'll we'll look at uh playing
warzone soon
andrew what's the next thing
the issue is streaming it...
Okay, go ahead.
Well, if someone dies,
gets sent to the gulag,
you're not watching the game anymore.
You're watching...
You know, if we both die
and you're streaming from one of our point of views
and Andrew's,
it's way better if we can cut to who's playing.
Are you still talking about this?
Yes, he is.
There also is a bug.
I don't know if they fixed it
where you would be forced
to spectate other teams to be a theoretic there'd be a scenario in which we couldn't watch ourselves
play that'd be crazy dude my favorite thing about warzone one was emily and i would uh she would
watch she loves to watch warzone it's like her favorite thing to do she'll ask me to play warzone
just so she can watch and then what we do is i die obviously play solos right start with 150 people maybe I make it to 20
probably maybe 15 if I'm lucky but probably not probably the 30s or the 40s yeah and then it just
cuts to the next person and then we just watch it like tv and we watch and we root for them until
they get killed and then it takes over the next person's view and then you just see like how
you're always the winner yeah well no it's like it's like you like did the person that killed me
win the game or how far did they get and you just kind of string it along and it's wildly entertaining
yeah i mean if we're streaming my perspective you'll be you'll have a lot of footage of me
looking into the gulag waiting to fight okay what's next on the list andrew uh next one uh
person samothy organized like a really great list with specific episode mentions
gavin does the end cap challenge 2022 episode 35 is that anything you would you have any interest
in doing that i feel like we kind of covered this with the like yeah what are the rules i have to
eat for a week on those i think you have to just do yeah there also was in episode 41 eat only off
of one aisle of the store challenge. Now the nice thing about this one
is that you're here,
so I can go to the,
we can all go to the grocery store with you
and verify that you're actually shopping from an end cap.
And we can film it even.
I would trust you to do it
because I think you're a righteous man
who would not cheat us.
I trust you too,
but I think it's good content to walk around
and watch you try to shop from in-caps.
We can do that new HEB that just opened up. It's two stories that everybody's
so excited about.
It's on Lake Austin Boulevard.
There's an HEB that has a separate
escalator next to the main one and you
push your car into it and it rides up
next to you. That's so fucking cool.
That's some tech.
We'll definitely get footage of that.
I just feel like if Gavin's going to be doing a challenge like that,
we could take advantage of the fact that he's not remote.
In a way we couldn't with Andrew.
My thing would be like,
is that something you do want to pick up on?
Or do you think it's something we've left in the dust and why go back to it?
That's interesting.
It's your choice.
Like we don't have to do all these things.
It's just,
we're now evaluating if we want to or not. Oh i think we've covered some of it with the draft the food
draft i think touches on some of these ideas the risk for that is that it's just super easy to
shop from end caps yeah so maybe we could try it and film it and if it's shit we just won't
put it out or even like the thing you film could be this is shit we're not this is why this is
actually what this becomes yeah i'm happy to try it yeah okay i think it's worth i think it's worth giving a
shot to and then if it's not interesting for us we just walk away that's the thing that i'm most
concerned yeah is like i don't sure i don't want to be like like going down checking off stuff on
a list and fulfilling old obligations that we don't know do that's not gonna be funny or good
i think that's good there were people that were posting like yeah there's like old stuff but i
really like the new ideas that they're coming up with why go back and revisit this stuff and i
agree so if there's stuff that we feel like even on the fence about to me it's just like let's just
call it done and move on absolutely that's how i feel if you guys want to take a different route
that's fine what's the next one no i think that's exactly right like i completely agree i think the
point of this is more like stuff that we've forgotten about that we are actually excited
about doing and will now do because we've been reminded as opposed to feeling like we have to
obligate things that we said at one point that we well i will say that i'm least excited about that
one okay well that's that's important like that's 100 important like for instance here's my notes
for current for the current episode of face of new stuff we have
plenty of like that's got to be what 60 or 70 different things i want to talk about so we
shouldn't go overboard with the with the past nope no it's just more like putting a pin on these
things yeah i think either being like yeah i'm excited let's actually do this or actually no we
we're not like you don't expect that going forward you You know what we should do? We should take one of these ideas that Andrew presents to us
and we should agree to do it,
but not till like 2025.
And we'll put it on the calendar for like 2025.
All right.
And we'll have to do it in 2025.
We'll be so far away from it,
we won't even remember it,
but it'll be on the calendar.
It'll take us nine months to watch a monkey movie.
Yeah, we have to do it in 2025.
Yeah, I love it.
Okay.
What's the next one, Andrew?
It would be cool to get an update on the Don Pedro project.
Oh.
That's my fault.
Yeah, so all work on the Don Pedro project has ground to a halt.
Oh, no.
Because I got burned out on scanning, photographing, and importing cards,
and I still had about i think i
still have like 1100 individual oh my god cards to go uh and i hired millie to do it and she's
been very busy with this so i should circle back around not only do i need to like if she's not
going to do it that's fine i'll take it back over but i gave her all the cards like over a year ago
so i need to see if she's still i need to get them back from her but. But it's not dead. It's just, I just have had a million other things
that I was more concerned with.
But I would like to finish it
at some point for sure.
I saw it in progress
and it was super cool.
It's still in process.
Yeah, it's gonna,
I gotta get back to it.
Thank you for reminding me.
Great.
Audience members.
Do you have plans to do anything
with the Smashing Sportsman
such as get the iconic comic book
for the museum?
I mainly brought this up,
and I don't know if we should be talking about this yet,
but I think our floor display on RTX
will essentially be the museum.
Yes.
And just that could be an interesting part to add to it.
I don't know if we have that already, but...
I do not have it, but I will...
You don't have one, right, Kev?
I do have one.
You do.
Well, I'll try to track one down,
and then if I can't,
maybe I could borrow it from you.
Yeah.
Mine is severely water damaged.
Okay.
That's kind of better.
Yeah, that is kind of better.
If you could just send me the name and number of the comic,
I'll find it.
Absolutely.
It's severely water damaged.
It's so fucking water damaged.
Now, here's my question. did it come to you severely water
damage no yeah that's not yeah it did not come to be severely did it get severely water damaged
in your bathtub uh i don't remember it was definitely in the bathroom when it happened
but i don't remember the specific was either that or the toilet and you used your elbows to get it
there's two ways it got wet yeah i goat kicked something out of my toilet and the water just happened to shoot all over.
Oh, man.
Between toilet seats and chairs, how many have you destroyed?
One toilet seat.
Two chairs?
It's not bad.
From when we started, but one was broken when we started.
I've destroyed one
toilet seat cracked it yeah oh yeah i did i ripped the toilet seat right off my toilet when i first
moved into the house on accident no i sat on it and it broke and i didn't realize it broke so i
kept sitting on it and then i went to stand up and it just pinched me so bad it hurts so fucking
like like getting chills thinking about how bad it hurt it was like right like right where like
your thigh meets your ass it like pinched me so hard i almost cried right and i was like in my 20s right where your
thigh meets your ass that line is supposedly the most painful place on your body to get tattooed
is it because exactly where i got pinched yeah is it because it's kind of where a fold happens i
guess so it's just like incredibly sensitive skin it. Oh, I'm like getting like chills thinking about how much it hurts.
Oh, it's so bad.
Did I ever, this isn't content for right now, but did I ever tell you guys?
No, because if the answer is yes, then we'll move on.
If the answer is no, then I'll say it for F*** Face.
Did I ever tell you guys about the time on F*** Face?
I'm sure I've told Gavin in person, but on F*** Face, have I ever told the story about how I fell through the toilet,
through the floor in the Army?
No. No, you haven't.
Okay. I'll tell you that story. Put that on your list.
Put it on the list. Put it at the top of the list.
Sitting on a toilet and fell through the ground.
Oh my god.
Oh no.
Army toilet story.
I'll tell you that one.
I know I've talked about it
on like at least
the RT podcast.
Okay.
So Smashing Sportsman
I think is good for...
Yeah.
And I think that's
probably fine to announce
that that's what we want
to do at RTX also.
I also think we can
just go ahead and say
until we get a cease and desist
that he's our official...
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, why not?
Yeah, why not?
Yeah.
Like, we are defending...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The call would be coming from inside the house.
Because I'm going to take it one further.
And I think we should actually, I think we should, I think, I was talking about this with Emily.
I think we should sell these products, actually.
I think we should, I think we should say that we are officially protected by the Smashing Sportsman and by Falcons.
And by Falcons.
And by Falcons.
And we should make, you know those, like, yard signs, those metal yard signs that say, like, protected by ADT security?
Yes, yeah. We should make them say protected by Falcons.
And just use them to sell it and put it in people's yards.
All right, hang on.
That's a good idea, right?
I'm putting it into the marketing right now.
The amount of people who are seriously against scrumping and also protected by Falcons.
It's going to be through the roof.
Can you just imagine you roll up and instead of it's like oh, there's somebody who's like vivant
protected by, no, it's protected by falcons.
Jesus Christ.
Will it just be a picture of a falcon in a
f*** face falcon cap?
Yeah.
It'll be like the most badass picture of a
falcon ever. We'll get
Tobin to draw it. It'll be amazing.
Alright, hang on.
Is it protected by falcons?
Protected by Falcons?
Protected by Falcons, I think.
Okay.
Want to... Sorry, I'm not trying to come up with show bits.
No, no, this is fine.
No, I've been sitting on that for a while.
Want to make a small metal yard sign
that's like protected by ADT security
that says protected by Falcons.
With a picture of a really badass Falcon.
With a picture of a badass falcon thank you
okay all right andrew what's next uh the next one is uh this is a great one did jeff become an arm
out the window while driving guy or gavin a cereal on the porch guy 2021 episode 321 episode. I'll go first. Yeah.
I tried to become an arm out the window guy.
Yeah.
And I had to stop because as much as I liked being an arm out the window guy, and I appreciated the breeze and the freedom of it,
I became,
once I started rolling down my window and hanging my arm out,
I became aware of other people doing it.
And those people are annoying with their music
and all that shit, which means that I'm being just as annoying
to other people as they are to me, so I had to stop.
Could we potentially design
a different kind of window that just has a small
hole with a nice seal around it?
And that way the sound
doesn't leak out, but your arm is out.
I think that's a great idea.
Yeah, like a clear rubber or something.
You could slide your arm through.
In movies, when you see they're doing an experiment
and they put their hand through the gloves
like that.
If you just had like a lab
glove. Yeah, a little lab
glove.
Look at how normal
this guy is driving.
That way you get to have your arm out the window
and you also are protected from UV
damage. And you don't
pollute your music and everybody
else. How about you, Gavin? Are you eating
cereal on the porch? And when you're on the highway
the glove is like...
I didn't become a porch guy eating cereal.
Number one, I've never bought any seating to go out there.
Oh, okay.
And number two, there was a bug, a giant beetle that was like right below my doorbell.
The bug was on its back and there was like a white grub
crawling and trying to get out of the bug's
anus and it was really off-putting.
Oh my god. No, we don't need
to put that in. I thought it was fascinating.
Either way, it wasn't the environment
for cereal.
Oh man.
That's a Dave's shape, Gavin, because I feel like
an all-time boring guy move
is sitting on his front step eating cereal.
It strikes me as very boring.
I could make it happen.
I might try it.
I might try it.
When the coast is clear from nature.
The next one comes from Miko14.
Pretty obscure one, but a while back,
Jeff mentioned being able to turn off his sense of smell with his
in quotes, nose flaps. Yeah. And Gavin
was going to try to film it. I'm weirdly
curious to see what the fuck he was talking about.
I mean, you could do that right now, couldn't you?
Yeah, this seemed like a perfect opportunity. No, I was going to get
an endoscope and shove it in his nose
and film his flaps. Yeah, we need to get
some sort of a macro lens or something.
Yeah, I would need one of those little worm...
Yeah, I'm down with that. Yeah, I would need one of those little worm. Yeah, I'm down with that.
Yeah, I just closed my nose flaps right now.
We should also put some...
Close for business.
What's that like?
Is it a durian?
What's the stinky fruit?
We should see if like...
Oh, a durian fruit?
Yeah, we should rip one open under you
and see if...
Oh, yeah.
Sir Strumming.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I won't be there for the Sir Strumming.
Not again. That's the worstming. I think we should test...
We might be able to test his flaps
without going up there.
We could also...
We should get smelling salts, too.
And just see a variety
of escalatingly smelly things,
and then I can tell you
if I smell it or not
with my flaps closed.
The confidence that he has in this
where he's going to smelling salts
is insane.
Here's what we do.
We go inside the port-a-potty,
and we open the can of fermented fish.
Yeah.
And we all start in there.
And see who lasts the longest?
We'll be straight out.
Yeah.
This is the can that you're supposed to open underwater
because it's so repugnant.
Yeah.
And then we're going to see how long you can stand in the port-a-potty.
We'll see how strong my flaps are.
With the can of sustainable.
I feel pretty confident about my flaps.
Have you smelled it before?
I've been near it and
it was horrendous.
We opened one during
a mega 64 podcast one
time.
In the room?
Yes.
And we had like the
room was ruined for it
was like the size of
this space huge and it
was ruined for like a
week.
Here's what I'll say
Gav.
Yeah.
Do you remember our
our tenure and achievement, Hunter, together?
When we worked in an office together every day,
we played video games for about a decade.
We did all that stuff.
Do you remember how liquid ass made its way into our office a lot?
Yep.
And how I always sprayed it, and I was really,
I was definitely the instigator of liquid ass.
It's because I could turn my flaps off,
or I could turn the smell off, close my flaps, and I don't smell liquid ass. So if I don't smell liquid ass, I'm i could turn my flaps off or i could turn the smell off
close my flaps and i don't smell liquid ass so if i don't smell liquid ass i'm sure i won't smell
this other stuff i smell this is now this is now the thing i'm most excited about okay okay
we'll have to do it soon do you want to buy the thing that goes up a fucking nose or whatever
you want me to buy it i mean i can get it it's what is it like it's like a thing you can buy
on like amazon isn't it? I think so.
It's not crazy. We'll have to do some research. Okay.
But let's definitely put that on the list.
Thank you for bringing that up, audience member.
I'm very confident in my nose flaps.
Where is the port-a-potty right now?
It's in stage two. In stage two. Okay.
So we have easy access to it. We have access to it.
Oh, definitely. Phenomenal. Yep. Alright, what's the next one, Andrew?
Next one comes from
AJC555964 in a
really early episode andrew lost a bet and owed gavin 50 and you put it in a small safe inside
a bigger safe inside a bigger safe with like 50 keys in it but he never sent the safe to gavin
did he ever get his 50 out of all the safes i did not get the 50 out and i still have the safe it's
like 20 pounds.
Oh my God. I don't know what I'm going to do with this.
It's such an annoyance.
I meant to pull it out.
I know where it is.
I'll need to take a photo of it and just send an update.
I still have the safe.
I'm still trying to figure out.
I don't remember the combination to open it at this point is the problem.
I wish it was economical to travel with because we could put it in the museum and let people try.
Everybody get one turn.
Oh, that would be great.
You get one crack at
the safe.
And then if you don't look at it,
you get the $50. Maybe we could recreate
it. That's a great idea. Can we recreate that
for RTX? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I don't see why not.
It wouldn't be hard to do. I'll donate
$50 to the cause.
Wow.
Thank you.
Okay.
We'll try to recreate it or at least figure out
how to get it out of Andrew's house.
I have two more.
Next one comes from Terrarian182.
A nose size comparison.
At one point,
I think we talked about
like molding our noses
and comparing the molds or like our face
doing like a face mold, a head mold.
I just thought that was funny. I forgot
that we talked about that. What was the purpose of doing that?
I don't remember that at all. I think it started
as part of the unbreakable
nose thing maybe and then
Gavin you having a big nose and like comparing
noses and then it turned into who has the
bigger head I think and it turned into
a full head mold. Oh I think we were gonna like our heads in in water and see who displaced the most water
or were we gonna go full mold okay i just remember the mold part i don't remember this
that one kind of seems a bit aimless like we need to i feel like we need to remember why we need a
connection to it yeah i agree yeah i think it was a big head thing i just thought it was funny i
just this is an idea to float around if we made molds of the of our heads like yours and mine are we
gonna hit the noses with bats and see who wins or something like that like it what because he's got
an unbreakable nose why would his mold have also have an unbreakable my nose if you start with
perfection i do think that my nose would hold up better than yours.
Like it would be more aerodynamic
or whatever. That could be an angle on
why we're doing it.
That's fair. I'm also fine with letting this go.
I just thought it was funny the idea of our heads
molded or the nose molded. Alright. What is that?
The big red boots? The big red shoes?
He just bought those big red shoes.
What is that? They're like, they're all over
the place now. Weird meme boots.
They're like Astro Boy boots.
The red boots, yeah, they're everywhere.
There's a lot of funny videos on TikTok of people that put them on and can't get them off.
Is that why you bought them?
I just thought they'd be funny to have.
We could use them for something.
Okay, fair enough.
I just, I have that mischief app and it notifies you when a drop happens.
And so it just notified me right now.
And so I actually don't know if I got them. I entered lottery to get them ah so i see if i get them they'll charge
my card there you go well if we can figure out yeah if we can figure out what to do with the
molds or whatever i think maybe there we got a thing i'm imagining it like a physical 100 where
they smash their busts yeah yeah that'd be great maybe i'll have to smash my nose if i if my if my flaps don't work maybe whoever can't throw a fruit the furthest has to smash their own nose
um last one i have comes from pipe underscore enigma underscore pipe
chef fruit gloves just something that was mentioned i don't think we've ever followed
up on the fruit gloves you're right i actually I followed up once and told you guys I was still working on it.
And then I completely,
I'll be honest.
I just,
I forgot about it and moved on.
I have all the ingredients of the fruit gloves in a basket under my
computer.
I just need to put them together.
I'll do,
I'll get back on that.
I apologize,
audience.
I'll get back on the fruit gloves.
What happened was what,
see what happened was,
uh,
I had that idea right around the time that i was coming out of a uniform uniform
combining the power boom and fabric of the farm uniform when i was coming out of a phase a uniform
phase and uh so i just kind of like shelved the idea because we were doing other stuff
yeah but i'll get back to it okay all right that's good that's it and that's our list of stuff
there you go that's our list thank you so much to everyone who submitted things. Yep. What's next
on our list of things to get through
in Sausage Talk? Do you want
best of? Let's end with best of.
Okay. So I opened this dumb thing up.
Not dumb at all. It's not dumb at all.
I didn't mean to say it like that. I got a
care package. I got a care package
from the Cosmic
Chris people. It was very
sweet of them.
It comes all the way to us from Brewster, Washington.
And I'm going to open it up here.
And what do I have in here?
A Cosmic Crisp water bottle.
That's beautiful.
No, I didn't get that.
That's a different item.
It's got a wooden cap.
That's nice.
Is that like wood or cork material?
Or cork, maybe?
No, it's like wood.
It feels like wood, though.
Premium.
Oh, got a Cosmic Crisp beanie. Oh, slap it on. Like a lovely... Gav, you want the beanie? No, I'll like nice. It feels like wood though. Premium. Got a, oh, got a Cosmic Crisp beanie.
Oh, slap it on.
Like a lovely,
Gab, you want the
beanie?
No, I'll take a
picture of you in it.
I'm not going to
wear it, but thanks.
Beanies hurt my
hair.
I understand.
Yeah, same.
Two Cosmic Crisp
hats in brown and
blue.
Anybody wants these,
Nick, you are.
I'll take a blue.
Yeah, okay.
There you go.
That's for you, man.
Thank you, man.
There you go.
And then what else
did they, oh, they
got, it's not over. They sent us more. Is. Thank you, man. There you go. And then what else? It's not over.
They sent us more.
Is it apples?
By us, I mean me.
Let's see.
All right, that's it.
We got a Cosmic Crisp Eat, Play, Cook, Inspire,
Imagine the Possibilities astronaut patch.
If you want to eat apples in space.
Where are you going to put that?
Probably on my jacket or something.
Yeah, you're going to put that on your jacket?
Or your jersey?
Or my jersey.
You sponsor.
I've got three Cosmic Crisp apple lapel pins.
Nice.
So like all the Republican senators have a fucking AK-47 now or whatever on their lapels.
Everybody else has American flags.
A bunch of Republicans have fucking guns.
I'm going to have that apple.
Nice.
Yeah.
Then another patch.
That's fruit.
Oh, here's a Cosmic Crisp.
Amazing flavor, infinite possibilities.
This is a note from the Cosmic Crisp team.
Jeff, first off, thank you so much for your support of Cosmic Crisp.
We appreciate all the love and honesty you, Andrew, and Gavin share on the pod.
Your fans are truly dedicated.
They know about me?
They know.
Dude, they know all about you.
They just don't like you.
That is so cool.
That's so cool.
Thank you so much, Cosmic Crisp team.
We really appreciate that.
And then the last thing,
and by the way,
we appreciate your product.
I have a bunch of Cosmic Crisps
at my house right now.
It's now the only apple that I buy.
And they sent me what appears to be two knives.
Apple knives?
Apple knives.
So he did get knives.
You got knives?
I got two knives.
Oh yeah, he got knives.
Andrew, it sounds like Jeff
got the way better.
Wow.
Holy shit.
I have to be careful.
Whoa.
Yeah, I got the same one.
You can fight like this.
I'm like a little baby Darth Maul.
This is crazy.
Wow, that is super, super cool.
Thank you so much, Cosmic Crisp.
You can have that if you want to.
Here, take that.
These are your shirts.
Yeah, I'll get you.
No kidding.
Fuck yeah, dude.
That's awesome.
Gavin, do you want the knife?
I'll have a knife.
There you go.
I love knives.
You were mentioned in the note.
They know who you are.
I can't believe it.
Yeah, man.
I don't think he was mentioned in mine.
You exist.
Makes it funnier.
Very cool. Very cool.
And Gavin, we have the best of, right?
I condensed all of F*** Face so far into just under three minutes.
Wow.
Wow.
Let's do it.
This is the best of F*** Face.
Best of F*** Face.
Everything up to this point.
Okay.
When you say up to this point, is that through all recordings or through releases?
Through everything that's released.
Okay.
Thank you.
Shall I play?
Well, yeah.
Well, I'm seeing...
Is everyone ready?
Yeah.
What do you think we're doing?
We've been waiting for like 10 minutes.
What do you mean?
I just don't know.
Are we going to listen?
Are we in the room listening?
What are we doing?
You get that?
Yeah, we can hear it through headphones.
Yeah, heard that.
Yep.
Playing the whole thing.
Ready?
Yep.
Free birds.
Oh, wait.
Wrong one.
Biology homework.
SUV fart.
I'm going to win, so I'm not going to eat the pencil. We agreed that you'm not gonna eat the pencil
we agreed that you're gonna
eat the pencil
dressed as piss boy right
oh shit
oh shit
just got the shipment
of baseball
oh my god
the dog just farted
oh shut up
like sat in the little u-buck My real name is Raymond I fucked up so bad.
Gotten.
Okay.
There you go.
Okay.
The definition of condiment.
Yes. You got it. Okay. The definition of condiment-
Yes! I like- I like that this guy is complaining.
What's that noise?
It's HOT!
Ah, fuck!
He's gassed himself up!
No!
Get that face!
No! It's so thick!
Oh, fuck!
Oh, fuck!
Oh, fuck!
God damn it!
Oh, but are you serious?
God damn it!
No! I bought a porta potty
a year ago!
Got it all scheduled.
That's...
So, Gav... all scheduled. That's So Gaff
I'm like dog shit.
Oh my god.
Yeah, I'm above.
Oh no.
We got
salad cream frozen bomb pops.
Interesting and aggravating.
No!
What?
What was that?
What is it?
My name is what the fuck was that?
No, you don't!
Oh!
Stop!
No!
Oh!
Yeah!
Oh, wait. Stop, no chef! What? Oh! Yeah! Oh wait.
Start note chef!
Eww! Eww!
This might be the final part
of my best of F*** Face compilation.
Oh my f***ing god!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Can you air drop that to me?
Wow
That was unreal
Gavin, that was amazing
Now what was the
What was your goal there? Just to get every fart, burp, and gross noise?
Pretty much just anything that wasn't words.
That's great.
With a few classics like, you know, the Rain Man's So Mad.
Throwing in the pencil.
Yeah, just milestones.
Jeff yelling.
When do we release that? What are we doing with it?
Just pop it on YouTube?
Yeah, I think you can put it on YouTube.
Put it on YouTube.
Maybe after Sausage Talk comes out,
just flop it on there.
That's a great idea.
Yeah.
Incredible work.
Way to go.
And that way when somebody's like,
should I listen to F*** Face?
I don't know what it is.
You can just listen to this.
Check out this simple introductory piece of content. If you make it through that, you know, best of luck.
Yep.
Boy, wow. That was fucking great
I mean, I'm really impressed with you, man
That's phenomenal editing
It took more than three minutes to make
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Now, can I ask, was it linear?
That was all in order
Wow, thank you
I thought so
That's why it was mainly farts at the beginning.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can feel the chemistry build as we go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We progressed through farts into gags, into burps, back to gags, into a bit of vomit.
I'm impressed.
I'm very impressed.
I don't want to ever hear that again, but that was pretty cool.
I'm going to go to sleep to it every night.
I was really excited because the only person I can show stuff to is Meg.
And I realized 10 seconds in that she really wasn't into it.
And she just sat there the whole three minutes.
I was like, oh, I've misjudged the audience.
What did she say about it?
She was like, that was really good, Gavin.
She doesn't like people gagging.
about it.
She's like,
that's really good, Gavin.
She doesn't like,
she doesn't like people gacking.
So she just had sort of like a sad face
for the whole thing.
Yeah.
But that's when I knew
I had a winner.
Yep.
Way to go, man.
That was great.
Anything else
for Sausage Talk
or did we do it?
I mean,
I think we did
a pretty good job.
We could have talked
about the merch
that we have coming out,
but I don't really need to go into it other than keep your eyes open there's a ton of
new merch coming out protected by falcons uh be on the lookout for that in addition to some other
nonsense so much fucking stuff when was the last sausage stop oh jesus let me find out three months
ago maybe all right so there was like a quarterly show.
I guess so.
Gavin, could you leave the Discord call?
Oh, sure.
Thank you.
Can you hear us twice?
It sounds like fucking garbage.
Yeah, it sounds so bad.
I'm sorry.
I didn't realize that Nick fixed it on our end.
I'm sorry about that.
No, that's okay.
Whoops.
All right, I'm gone.
Sausage Talk was the end of September,
the beginning of October.
So once every six months.
But we did skip office days.
We did.
There was a lot happening that we were in the middle of.
There's not always a need for a sausage talk.
We also used a lot of office days for like beans and pizzas.
Yeah, we also didn't really do a lot of sausage talk here.
Oh yeah.
We did best of in falls last time.
Yeah.
That was the office day.
There you have it.
That sausage talk.
That's apparently how the show gets made.
There you go.
Anything else before we wrap up the sausage talk,
you follow us at face pod.
I mean,
if you're listening to this,
there's no way that you don't know that.
Like, that would be absolutely fucking crazy
if this was, like, the first thing you listened to.
That'd be nuts.
Come on!
That's a communal mic.
Goodbye.
See you next time. you