F**kface - Sausage Talk Episode 1
Episode Date: September 29, 2022In their first office day together, Geoff, Gavin, Andrew, and Producer Eric get together to look down the road at what is coming up for F**kface and when it will get done. Allowing you all access to t...he "creative process," witness how the sausage is made like in the "Eric's Job" episode but without the mounting frustration. There's a lot of pressure on the gang to deliver. Can they do it? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in This is a Rooster Teeth production.
I mean, are you going to do, like, a big introduction?
Hey, now, I'm in an office talk.
Here we go, episode one.
Ugh.
I guess I say yes.
I started off as like half crazy frog straight into it.
So I'm going to prep.
Supplemental content, right? Out the bat.
It's content
adjacent, right? I guess it's canonical
but this is not the main content. This worries me greatly.
Well, what do you mean? We're all here.
The same cast as F***face. Not making F***face. This is not F*** content. This worries me greatly. Well, what do you mean? We're all here, the same cast as F*** Face,
not making F*** Face.
This is not F*** Face. We have to somehow not make it.
We're not. I don't,
yeah, I don't see how that works. I think we're just
going to make F*** Face. No, we didn't make F*** Face
when we did the Apple review.
We kind of did. But that was a very pointed
different thing. I don't, I mean,
I can't see the whiteboard, so maybe
maybe it is going to be different. Jeff told me it's mean, I can't see the whiteboard. So maybe it is going to be different.
Jeff told me it's not important
for you to see the whiteboard.
Jeff dragged the whiteboard
from another conference room
into this recording room.
It took a long time.
I recorded it.
It was a whole thing.
First off, I want to get into that
because actually I want to talk
about the whiteboard situation
real fast.
But first, let me just say this.
So I presented this idea
to F*** Face a while ago
and that idea was we should have an office
day where we come in once a month
and we just like we talk about the business
we talk about like what we want to achieve
maybe make some supplemental content that kind of thing
it's a different brand
what's a different brand
what are you saying achieve
achieve what
I like that.
There also could be up in the air
for which business we're talking about.
Like, talking Rooster Teeth?
Are we talking Unifarm?
No, we're talking...
Listen, we're here in this capacity.
We are talking F*** Face,
which is a subsidiary of Fluke Face,
which we don't talk about often,
which is a subsidiary.
It's more of a holding company.
It's more of a holding company,
which is a subsidiary of Unifarm. So anything that falls in's more of a holding company, which is a subsidiary of Uniform.
So anything that falls in the purview of fuck,
fluke, or Una, we're talking about.
So I feel like this should be Uniform.
I guess so.
I think Supplemental should just fall under the Uniform umbrella.
Okay.
Well, that's part of what we're here to determine, right?
To work all this stuff out.
So this is more of a Uniform board meeting.
Oh, that's okay.
All right.
So it's not so much office day.
This is a uniform board meeting.
Got it.
I presented this idea.
I didn't think anybody would go for it.
I definitely didn't think Gavin would go for it.
But then everybody was like,
oh, it's a great idea.
We'll do it.
And then you went and did it
with your other productions
and it was highly successful.
Oh, I stole it for Face Jam
and we started a new podcast.
We went and ate stuff.
What's up with that?
Here's my problem.
We had like a whole plan.
Yeah, so what I did was I came in prepared
and then we achieved what we attempted to.
That's another brand.
Here's my problem with that.
By doing that, which is great.
I mean, ideas shouldn't exist in a vacuum.
We should be able to share them.
He's about to tell me why it should exist in a vacuum
and why we shouldn't share it.
No, no, here's my problem with it, though.
You've done it to great success.
Yeah.
Yes.
You've taken our idea and done it to great success
before we got to do our idea once, which is fine,
except I feel like that puts an undue amount of pressure on us
to at least perform as well as...
What's that, Andrew?
Disagree.
I agree with you completely, Josh.
Yeah, I agree with you.
You set the bar to a level that we might not be able to hit.
Yeah, yeah.
I feel like we are now going to be measured against the stick of the face jam office day.
And if we don't hit three yards or however tall that stick is, then we've failed.
It's a dinklage.
A dinklage.
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
I should have been speaking in dinklages.
It's, I don't, I'll be honest, coming into this, we had one thing planned.
Yeah.
And we didn't do it.
What was that?
You hitting baseballs?
Oh, well, that, listen, the one thing we, that wasn't the reason we did this.
That was a, hey, let's have office day.
And then you go, it would be.
Was this not one of the reasons that we had office day was to hit the baseballs?
You're going to say that you wanted to get stuff not on the weekends anymore.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. And but the idea for office day came before the idea of like hitting baseballs was thrown
into office day.
Right.
Which would be the thing that we were planning to do on the office.
It was a thing we were planning to do.
Right.
And we didn't do it.
Right.
Because Gavin's hurt and I'm hurt.
I mean, what am I doing?
You gotta dodge those balls, man.
I'm dodging balls.
I gotta do it on fucking gamy ankles.
We have all those balls in my office, too.
There are so many.
So many balls.
They are so heavy.
Yeah, they're brutal.
Yeah.
I know, because I had to carry them.
Yeah.
But we couldn't hit the baseballs today.
But that's fine, because Andrew is here.
We also couldn't do MVP today.
And that's unfortunate, and Andrew is here.
Because the presentation is not ready.
Yeah, it's got to get that present.
You want the banana wipes.
It's hard.
There's not a standard wipe.
Can I ask you this, Andrew?
How much effort have you put in?
Have you opened the document yet?
I haven't opened the document yet.
I wish.
For a pregnant pause. I would have I wish. For pregnant pause.
I would have put
so much money
on that answer.
I would say
I've put 5% in,
but that's,
that's a lot of,
that's a core 5%
that I've done.
I've got the images
in my head.
I got kind of the arc
figured out.
I haven't put the document in,
but it's in the head.
It's in my head right now.
I can see it.
The fuck?
I wish you could
see the image of Gavin's face.
I mean, if it's gonna, you know what?
I'm gonna make the talk right now.
I'm gonna open it right now, so we know what? I'm going to make the talk right now. I'm going to open it right now.
So we're already at 10%. That's 6% now.
Oh, man.
So I think what we'll do today, since we can't hit baseballs,
is we'll film the SBI supplemental we talked about.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah, yeah.
We'll record it.
Because I want to hear about, Gavin doesn't remember any of it,
but I do want to hear about what you guys,
your experience with SBI. Yeah, I
want to hear it too because I missed the last two days of
recording. Andrew was talking to me about it last
night and I was already, already
stuff I'd forgotten. I was like, oh yeah.
Oh, that's good. That'll be good. It'll jog your memory
and that'll be something. You and the audience will learn about it sometime.
But while we were sitting waiting for Gavin to come in,
you, Andrew, Jeff, and Eric
were having conversations about like movies and it was so funny and I felt like we were burning material for Gavin to come in, you, Andrew, Jeff, and Eric were having conversations about movies.
And it was so funny, and I felt like we were burning material, that we decided we should record it and then create a supplemental series called Office Talk.
Or maybe it's the Uniform Boardroom meeting.
I really like that.
However we choose to go with it, I like that idea too.
Anyway, I wrote a bunch of stuff down on the board for us to discuss.
And we decided that this might be an opportunity to get, you know, to get the peer behind the veil,
a little bit of seeing how the sausage is made,
uh,
while not making face.
Right.
We're not making,
we're not making face.
Right.
And if this is so face,
maybe we can't even release it.
I don't know.
I'm a little worried.
If we make,
if it's too close to face,
it can't come out.
Then it has to just be an episode.
It can't be an episode.
It can't be an episode.
It's just 121.
How many supplemental pieces have we made?
We made... There's been a couple of Q&As.
Yeah, there was a bit of Raymond Sommar.
How many Q&As did you have, Andrew?
I think I recorded three.
Two of them came out.
Okay, two.
Oh, the third one didn't come out?
I don't think so.
Okay, I can check on it.
What is Raymond...
What's the Raymond Sommar thing?
When he... That was part of the Q&A, wasn't it?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The two-minute one.
Yeah.
There was the Apple review.
Tuxedo.
The tuxedo watching.
Andrew's tuxedo bidding.
Oh, that's okay.
Fluke face.
Oh, fluke face.
Fluke face.
That's seven right there. Yeah. According to my math. That's a pretty okay. Fluke face. Oh, fluke face. That's seven
right there. Yeah. According to my math.
It's a pretty good one. Finger math.
Way to go, man. Yeah, I got it.
I think that's it. Okay, so
this is either the eighth piece of supplemental
content or episode 121.
Fucking hell.
What season
is this?
Of the supplemental. Are we in season one of supplemental?
you guys made me mad, we don't do seasons anymore
so anyway, wrote a bunch of stuff down
also, we wanted to do it in this room
but this room was occupied by another production
briefly, so we started in the conference room
I wrote a bunch of thought starters
down on the whiteboard, things we could talk about
dig into
mix it up on, that kind of thing.
Yeah.
And then Eric was like,
you should take a photo of that
so you can bring it into the new room with me
when we move.
I looked at the whiteboard.
It's got wheels.
So I'm like,
why don't we just take the whole whiteboard with us?
That's not a problem.
Walked out into the hallway with the whiteboard,
ran into the STF crew,
like John and Barbara and Bl blaine and to a person every one of
them looked disappointed to see me i don't and they were i think they were instantly right right
right i even saw john i was like hey man long time no see and he's like yeah yeah and then he goes
what's going on you you hear a lot now and i'm like no no he goes he asked me he goes, what's going on? You hear a lot now? And I'm like, no, no, no. And he goes, he asked me, he was like, when are we doing the office?
Where's your office?
It's not like he wanted to make sure
I'm not office close to him.
These people have moved into this building.
They've moved back in.
It's like the first people back in
and they've known peace for the past three weeks
or whatever, month or two.
And they walk out and they see you dragging
the whiteboard out of their conference room.
With me riding on the back, spilling water all over the floor, and trying to grab my coffee in the other hand.
All we were doing was taking a whiteboard from one conference room to another room.
It's not the end of the world.
They looked offended.
And it's not even from their office.
I'm sure they have their own whiteboard in their office.
Well, Barbara asked if it was their whiteboard.
Yeah, there you go.
Very distrustful.
Anyway, so I'm feeling really unliked right now by the rest of the company, which is something
I've been suspecting for about 15 years.
Really solidified in the hallways of Rooster Teeth today.
Don't appreciate it.
Tough.
Damn, dude.
This is why.
I feel like that's the reaction we want.
Am I sad that we walk out of a room
and John sighs?
A little,
but mainly it's funny.
I think that's the vibe.
Like I was happy to see John.
I was like, oh, there's John.
John was not happy to see Jeff.
Totally different reactions. Different faces. This is starting to broach on face I'm just letting you
have we get to discuss have we ever had uh-huh something that was latched onto as strongly as
extra medium so far on the podcast and it's only just started like if we were trying to go for an
episode with engagement yeah I feel like that one probably has the most comments I would think that
in the pencil maybe the pencil trial
was a lot yeah
yeah I think so
but it is definitely in the top three
and also
I think the thing that's the most amazing
about it is I didn't anticipate
any of that no like I didn't think oh this
is something that the audience is going to have strong
opinions on no and uh and and really like to be into i i was throw away to me i did not
realize it was going to take on this life that it has right it was kind of throw away the first time
it came up but i think the second time and then especially when everyone started turning yeah oh
yeah yeah we're now the turn has been tough it's been tough on here yeah so so i didn't really hear
the story about your wife.
Oh, I guess we didn't.
I just brought it up.
She's like, what's the extra medium thing?
And I explained it.
And that like just found its way on her radar without you mentioning?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She saw the extra medium like tweets or whatever.
And she just went, what is this?
And I said, what would you like?
Gavin asked for an extra medium shirt.
What size is that?
And she went medium.
And I went, all right, well.
She's so right.
So it's been divisive in my household.
It was a quiet evening that night.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But we had the similar conversation with,
it happened and then we recorded another show with Jason Saldana.
And we asked, hey, what's the extra medium and he agreed with me
he's like it's large it's like a bigger medium
it's like a large and then he asked
his wife and his wife said
medium and I said
it's fine it's you're gonna
give it a couple of weeks and you'll turn to
it doesn't matter so
I'm texting Jason right now you think medium
I have the conversation
it's between Gus, Jason and I.
Okay.
Uh,
I hope Jason doesn't mind me sharing this.
Uh,
I posed the extra medium conundrum to,
I'll say it to my wife,
uh,
and laid out both sides very clearly.
She had a really interesting perspective.
Uh,
she thinks we're all idiots.
And I said,
but what's it,
what's the right answer?
And he says,
okay,
we just talked about it more.
Her position is that extra medium does not exist.
There is medium only.
Acceptable shirt sizes through the range
would be extra small, small, smedium, medium,
marge, large, extra large.
And then Jason said, and I was like, what the hell?
And Jason was like, but aren't you a marge guy?
How do you feel about smedium?
And I'm like, it's as valid as mar do you feel about Smedium and I'm like
it's as valid as Marge to me Smedium is
as valid as Marge and then
Jason said Gus said
is extra medium closer to Smedium medium
or Marge
I think
you're activating a
sleeper cell somewhere
this is like
that movie with,
what's it,
fucking Mel Gibson
where he reads
Catcher in the Rye
and then he kills people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I would love to get
an answer to that,
Jason said.
She's gone chaotic
and has decided
an extra medium
doesn't exist
and therefore the question
is no longer valid.
And that's where he ended up.
So,
oh,
and then he said,
this is interesting.
He said, let's start a movement where we just resize clothes
to one through 10.
That's a great,
that's a very good idea.
What?
Because there's no hard limit
to how big someone can be.
Then I don't understand.
What the fuck did you just say?
But we already have that
with fucking shirt sizes.
We have it with shoes, dude.
We're just numbering it.
What's a shoe to 10?
What's a shoe to 10 be? 10? What's a 10 be?
Yeah, I don't...
I don't think the scale
might be big enough.
Like, how many numbers?
I think we might need
more numbers.
So let's start with
extra small is one.
Small is two.
Medium?
Is three.
Three.
Medium.
Medium is four.
Yeah.
Is extra medium
in there somewhere?
Yeah, it's four.
Whatever you call medium is four.
Okay.
Large is five.
Large is six.
Extra large is seven.
And then we go up to 3X on shirts.
So you go two, three.
You get to 4X.
And that's 10.
Size one through 10.
That's pretty good.
That's a pretty good range.
That's what most shirt ranges are.
And that makes more sense to me than like,
if I were to say,
Gavin,
what shoe size do you wear?
And you go,
I wear a Marge.
Like that doesn't make sense to me.
But if you tell me you were a 10,
I go,
okay,
I know how big your penis is.
Great.
Andrew,
do you agree with a shirt sizing one through 10?
It's,
I don't,
something about it feels off.
I'm kind of with Gavin on it.
Like what you're saying is logical.
You're going to have,
you're going to be selling 11s and 12s to some people.
Yeah, and then will there be
different for different genders?
Will there be a different number combination?
What you're expressing
already exists. I know.
So what are you talking about? You're not wrong. I know.
Andrew, I know. You said the scale
was 1 to 10. Right, it is.
It's 1 to 10, and then he said, well, what about genders?
Right, that already exists.
A women's medium is different from a men's medium.
Yeah.
So I don't know what the issue is here.
A children's medium is different than an adult medium.
Like, I don't.
Yeah, I don't.
I logically can't fight against you right now.
Right, because I'm right.
You're right.
Can you often logically fight against people?
It's debatable.
I saw such a good little synopsis for F*** Face.
There was a comment someone left just describing Andrew.
I just thought it was brilliant.
Feiron on our site said,
Andrew has the ability to take on a bet,
lose immensely,
and then cause a 15-minute debate
to explain how he didn't lose while simultaneously proving just how hard he did lose.
I think that is such a phenomenal take.
Andrew, you should run for president in America someday.
You've got all the skills required.
God damn.
Oh, man.
Who said that?
Phaedron?
Phaeron?
Phenomenon?
That's so wrong.
Your ability to forget a name
seven seconds after you.
Is this a show where we just give
Jeff a name, ask him one other
question, and go, hey, so what was that name?
It's like you can play the Beetlejuice
game with me. Spell red.
All right, 3x7.
Red.
How has your life changed,
Gavin, since becoming
the face of Extra Medium? Have you felt
precious in other areas?
I just feel like
I've done good work there.
And Eric
looks at me funny every time it comes up.
He scowls, he looks down, and I think that
is the intended effect. It's so
infuriating especially
when you guys go yeah i don't like to agree with them but i have to agree with them that's the one
favorite part i think was an episode 119 where everyone started to change their opinion and they
would all explain why and they were just repeating the exact thing i said on the previous episode
almost word for word jeff did it nick was was like, oh, I see Jeff's point.
I was like, Jeff's point's my point.
You have a way of
being accurately
distasteful.
Like, you're right, but in a way
that makes people not on board with you.
I don't know what it is.
Like, I could get up there in front of
everyone behind the podium and be like,
come on, guys!
Shut up! Someone says the same thing. like I could get up there in front of everyone behind the podium and be like wait come on guys you've got this and everyone's like
shut up
and then someone comes up
and says the same
all this being said
first bullet point
under shit to discuss
because this is a board meeting
yes
I guess
what do we do
with the extra medium
do we change
so we can change the shirts
in the store
to just say
small
extra medium
large here's why I think that's a good idea okay it's a funny joke it's a nice little So we could change the shirts in the store to just say small, extra medium, large.
Here's why I think that's a good idea.
Okay.
It's a funny joke.
It's a nice little reference.
But also, it's going to confuse people and potentially damage sales.
Yes.
Which is the point of the show.
Yeah.
It's the point of the show.
I think that is the point of the show.
It's the point of the show.
I like the idea of it.
Yeah.
It's the point of the show.
All right. Hang on. I think that is the point of the show. It's the point of the show. I like the idea of it. Yeah, it's the point of the show. All right, hang on.
I'm doing it.
We just had a sales thing come through
where, this is some of the sausage,
where they were like,
hey, this other reasonably popular podcast
is open to doing trade ads.
Yeah.
Which, you know, you do sometimes.
Like, hey, we'll run a free ad on your podcast.
You run a free ad on ours.
You know, it's like, you scratch my back, I, this, these will run a free ad on your podcast. You run a free ad on ours. You know, it's like a,
you scratch my back,
I'll scratch yours kind of thing.
Yeah.
And it goes to all the,
all the different,
uh,
I guess like podcast IP holders and everybody says yes or no.
And it gets to me and I'm like,
yeah,
if they want to do a face ad,
I'm all about it.
And then like an hour later I get an email that's like,
yeah,
they're probably not interested.
There you go. All right. So I an email that's like, yeah, they're probably not interested. There you go.
All right.
So I put in the request with our merchandise department to,
can we change the size medium on everything face to extra medium, please?
Do we still have that sizing chart as well that you can pull up?
Why would I need to give them the sizing chart?
No, so you can change the sizing chart.
Change it on that too.
Only on face merch
eric's got his head in his hand which which is immediately telling me we should do that yeah
you gotta be thorough so do i have to give them a sizing chart just say that can you change it
on the sizing chart too but only for face so let's just assume this all happens okay let's
run this through yeah so it's extra medium g, you buy an extra medium shirt from the store, one of the f***ed up ones.
Yeah.
Would you be disappointed that it's just medium?
That it is not extra medium?
I'd probably be thankful that it's not large.
Okay.
That's fair.
It's a great point.
Are you going to start ordering other things extra medium?
Like, I think you need to take this into the field, like a steak.
Oh, that's what my wife said.
Next time you order a steak. That's what my wife said. Next time you order a steak.
That's what my wife said when I brought it up to her.
She just said, like, we're going to go to a steakhouse,
I'm going to order a steak extra medium,
and then the waiter's going to have to watch us get a divorce on the spot.
I feel like we should all try out that homework.
I'm not doing it.
No!
What do you mean?
Because they're going to give me something well done.
Should we?
I think it's interesting to test
that and see if we'll get the same result. Here's what we do.
That is fascinating. Let's all get
a steak dinner together.
Or a steak lunch. Okay. And one of us
will order it medium rare. One of us will order
it medium and one of us will order it extra medium.
I love this idea. Gavin can order
his extra medium. Why don't we flip a coin?
I'm not doing it.
I'm ordering my medium.
Let's flip a sock.
I think it has to be random and I hope it's you.
This sucks.
Alright, well let's table that. I think we should get steak lunch.
I'm into steak lunch. That could be on our next Uniform Board meeting. No, let's table that. I think we should get steak lunch. Okay. I'm into steak lunch.
That could be on our next Uniform board meeting.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah, that's true.
We could go break for lunch.
Sorry, Andrew, I'll buy you like a Big Mac
and you can be like...
Fantastic.
Yeah, I can pretend.
Or we could fly you here.
Yeah.
I may need to change the date of our next board meeting.
I may be out of town.
I didn't even know we had a date for the next board meeting.
It's on the calendar.
Is it?
Yeah. It's just a month from today. Yeah. Oh, Jason texted me back date for the next board meeting. It's on the calendar. Is it? Yeah.
Just a month from today. Oh, Jason texted me back.
Oh, what'd he say? Oh my god. It's a paragraph.
Oh my god! It's so much
text! It's so
much! Should I just say,
if we haven't made it clear, Jason is
somebody who used to work with Rooster Teeth and who's been a
friend of, well, a friend of all of ours,
but a friend of mine for longer.
He's the person I've known the longest in Austin.
He
was on another episode of Anima,
which is great. That was really fun.
Yeah. But now
Gavin's just getting paragraphs.
Do you want to read the
dissertation? Is it safe?
Yeah, I think I can read it.
He said, I think in principle an extra medium would be bigger
than, oh, he's writing more.
He's writing more.
Would be bigger than medium and smaller than large.
This is despite agreeing with the fact that extra does not inherently just mean bigger.
I feel like if someone asked me for an extra medium shirt, I think, oh, this little guy
is growing up, but can't quite fill out a large.
If you worked at a movie theater And someone ordered an extra medium popcorn
What would you take that to mean?
Or would you just quit on the spot?
When I post the extra medium thing
To my wife
Her contention was that was stupid
So if extra medium
Is a little bit more medium than medium
Would under medium be the reverse?
Fuck off.
I don't get it.
I don't understand why this is.
I took a picture of some sweatpants that I bought.
And inside the waistband, I found this.
Oh, my God.
That's a regular medium.
Can you hold that up for Andrew and the camera?
No, I saw it.
Regular medium.
Regular medium.
That does imply that there are Regular medium. Regular medium. That does imply
that there are other mediums.
Yeah.
So I think medium
is much more of a
gray area
than you originally thought.
And those are gray sweatpants.
And they are very gray, yeah.
So chest ironing board, huh?
Do we want to make,
like, should we try to make
an extra medium shirt,
like a comment lever shirt
or something,
or is there any point? Is that too dumb? Maybe an extra medium koozie. I feel like all the dumbest ideas should go to koozie
Yeah, I don't think we should just slap extra medium on a shirt right it doesn't feel like there's a point to that no
Other than changing that so maybe it's enough to change the size. I think I think changing the sizes is good
I mean, I don't think it's good, but I think it's getting the point across
Maybe we can start this is
really overcomplicating it, like
putting XM in the medium shirts
when we make them in the future.
I can see if that's something that's
doable. We do print on the
info on the inside
back of the shirt, right? Yeah. I just don't know if that's
like a file we make or whether it's something the manufacturer
pulls. No, no, no. It's a file we make or whether it's something the manufacturer pulls.
No, no, no. It's a file we make.
We can change that.
We should change that.
Yeah.
That's fantastic.
As of right now.
Yeah.
As a matter of fact,
if you have,
from this point on,
from today on,
if you have any
f*** face shirt
that just says medium on it,
hold on to it.
It is a limited edition.
They will never be made again.
I now know my favorite part of these Uniform board meetings
is the amount of times Eric has to sigh
and then start typing on his phone.
It's the third one I've sent.
So, next bullet point.
Chest ironing board was a joke
that came out of the end of episode one of
does it do yeah which premiered today did very well uh i feel like we should make it i think
there's no point in not making it and then i can be like a shirt that's an ironing board here's
what i do i'm gonna take a here's what i think we do and i and my and i bring this up because i can
totally make this at home like i'm gonna make the fruit gloves which i still haven't made uh like i
made like i made the beef bracer, like I made
the too spicy ISE, like I made the wrist pocket.
All the hits from Uniform.
I can do it myself, but since
we have an office day, we can
do it together, too. I'll give you
an idea of my brain prototype
and see what you guys think. Here's what I'm thinking. We take a regular
sized ironing board. We cut
it in half. And then we're done.
No, no. Then
we get like a belt
that we affix to the
back of the bottom half of it that you can
put right around your waist so that when you sit,
it sits in your lap. And then we get a
backpack, cut the shoulder straps off,
glue them to the top of the
to the back of the top part of the iron, so you
can put it on like a reverse
backpack, and then you can walk it on like a reverse backpack and then
you can walk around you have a full ironing board so it's more like sit it bends i imagine like when
they put on those big leaf blowers where it's like yeah yeah yeah kind of like that but then you'd
have to get it under your shirt i feel like you've just made body armor in like a mad max universe
and this is not actually a product that doesn't make body armor and and is the goal
to do ironing on yourself or is the goal to iron the shirt you're wearing no the goal is to do
to iron on yourself so it's not like i've put on a crease shirt let me pop on yes you could
in theory put your chest ironing board on uh shirtless and then put the shirt on over the
top of you and then iron directly on.
I think that's a great idea and totally should be possible.
But you can also, if like, say you're at a hotel and you're like, oh, thank God I remembered I got my clothes are fucked up.
Thank God I remembered to pack my folding ironing board.
There's an ironing board.
Because this hotel doesn't have one.
So you pull out your folding ironing board because you're short on space.
It's like a British hotel.
So there's no room.
They're all three feet fucking wide.
So you can sit in your one chair in the hotel room,
plug in the iron,
and then lay your clothes out on your lap
and then iron on your lap.
Or if they're a little tall,
iron up on your chest.
This is a fantastic product.
We should make it.
But the question is,
do y'all want to make it with me
or do you just want me to show up and give it to you?
Oh, I definitely want to be part of it.
Okay.
There's definitely value in the blind sort of show and tell aspect of stuff.
I agree.
That's true.
But I would also be willing to test a little collaborative effort on this one.
Yeah, I think it's worth it.
Because, like, you know, we had a pre-boardroom meeting earlier this week, which we actually talked on face,
where we kind of planned out the rest of the season of Does It Do?
And everything that we came up with was made better by the group.
Oh, yeah. It was a great meeting.
Every idea was improved upon because of the group interaction. So in my head, I can make the ironing board that is in my head, and I know it will work. I know it'll be awesome. But I can't help but feel
like if we all make it together, it'll turn out to be a better Irony Board.
You guys will have ideas that I never would have thought of.
Should we try to do that today?
Because we have, I mean, we can go to lock up and probably find a lot of this stuff.
Yeah.
And make it happen.
I just can't take Andrew with us.
Andrew would have to wait and then we could like come back, you know, like later.
Well, we could do that or we could build it next office meeting.
I'm fine with either.
I think it's too far away, but that's just me.
Yeah, that is too far away.
Maybe we'll break for lunch or something.
Steak lunch and then figure it out.
And then, of course, we should make a commercial for it.
And then put the commercial on TikTok.
We should make a TikTok commercial.
And then don't like, that's it.
That's it.
And that's where it lives okay i think
uh mvp well we already covered it banana wipes are holding us back right but right but when are
we gonna do it all right yeah we need to we've this has been scheduled twice no three times
three times yeah three yeah three two or three times. This will be four.
This will be number four.
I think Jeff moved it once.
Andrew moved it once.
I'll probably move it next time.
Great.
Fantastic.
That's great.
Thank you.
Let's just schedule it for a day we know we can't do it on
and then Gavin can move it.
No, I want to move it.
I really want to watch
this stupid monkey movie.
Andrew, how much time do you need
to get from 6% to 100%?
Not necessarily a lot of time.
I just didn't want to
put any effort in
until it was locked in
on a day.
So you give me a day,
then I will get it done
by that day.
We did multiple,
many times we gave you days.
Yeah, but I got pushed
the last time.
Is 16th something?
Is it the 16th?
That's a Friday. I'm looking. Hold on.
Of this month?
Yes. I'm gone. I think
Gavin's gone, yeah. Back on the
22nd, though.
You mean the 23rd?
Yeah, about the 23rd.
Morning of the 23rd?
September? It's my daughter's
birthday. In honor of Millie.
Well, I have therapy in the morning. Oh, right, right, right. That's fine. No my daughter's birthday. Yeah. In honor of Millie. Hang on. Go ahead. Well, I have therapy in the morning.
Yeah, right.
Right, right, right.
That's fine.
No, that's important.
You need it.
But what if we do...
Let's do it after.
What if we do like...
What if we do like noon to three?
Hell yeah.
Let's have a monkey lunch.
Monkey lunch?
Oh, it sounds fantastic.
We'll eat bananas
and banana flavored stuff.
I'm good.
Okay.
That's it.
Monkey lunch being added now uh andrew let me include nick as well
so we had to do a banana wipe i love how everything is is percentages at the moment
it's coming up a lot we've been a percentages podcast i think for like a while now but like
not outright it has definitely ramped up i i would love to make a shirt that is a take on
what Nick posted yesterday in the Discord
of the Fallout guy.
And it just has both ankles dotted
and it just says crippled by both.
Zero percent.
And it's just
Andrew is the face. Should we have it
be like all three of us next to each
other and it just shows everybody's illness?
But it's all just ankles.
We had,
we had,
there was a time when there were five bad ankles between the three of us.
You guys are crazy.
What a mess.
Oh man.
I didn't think I would do both my ankles in my own office.
That was quite a shock.
That was really something.
I told that to my girlfriend last night,
and she laughed so hard.
And at no point did she wonder if you were okay.
Well, you know.
And no showed the meal.
That's just how I knew I had the right woman.
She's perfect for me.
She doesn't care about
anybody else's safety either.
Okay,
so we got MVP sorted.
There'll be a banana wipes.
That's brilliant.
We got that.
Cool.
So let's figure out baseballs
because we were supposed
to do that today
and then...
When's MVP?
I'm going to write it.
What?
Oh,
MVP will be...
September 23rd at noon,
12 p.m. Central.
You can take off
your headphones.
Andrew, don't say anything funny.
You can say whatever you want.
What the fuck?
He's doing it British style, so it's backwards.
Great.
It's so confusing.
Well, I mean, hang on.
How does Canada do the date?
Probably like that.
I don't know.
Do you do it day and then month?
Hang on.
Was your answer I don't know?
What do you mean?
Yeah, I never know.
Like when you went to school and they taught you.
You never filled out a form?
Well, no, I never know what to put there.
I do either or.
What?
I don't know what the standard is.
I have no idea.
What is the standard?
Do you do?
I don't know.
Let me look.
I'll Google.
That motherfucker is flummoxed.
I did not expect that question to break him.
There's so much we don't know about Andrew.
We don't know why he can't come until November.
It's mysterious.
Why the fuck can't he come until November?
He doesn't want to.
My newest theory is that he's been doing the Halo Infinite weekly challenge every week
since the game came out,
which was in November,
and he's trying to get the full year
before he leaves Canada.
Interesting.
The date can be written either with the day
or the month first in Canadian English,
optionally with the day of the week.
I feel like Andrew potentially grew up
in multiple countries,
and he's been writing it both his entire life.
What if,
what are those creatures in Halo?
I can't remember this.
I'm blanking on the name.
Creatures.
What are the big guys you fight with the green...
Brutes.
No.
Elites.
Hunters.
Hunters.
No.
Hunters.
Yeah.
Are hunters the guy that shoot the green...
Yeah.
Fuel rod.
Fuel rod.
Is that you?
And you got to hit them in the back?
Mm-hmm.
And they're made of worms?
Yeah.
What if Andrew is actually made of worms and he knows he can't
get through TSA like there's no way
they're gonna let a worm body through TSA
I've been there though I've been in Austin
several times it's like that
scene in 5th element where
he's trying to hold in the fact that he's like this big
thing and you can see his chin
going like
but it's just worms going like
I can't come to America cause I'm worms going like, but it's just worms going like, worms. Oh my God.
Let me through.
I can't come to America
because I'm worms.
Because I'm worms.
I hate to break to you guys.
I've been trying to hide
this for a long time.
I'm worms.
I'm 98% worm.
I'm a hive mind of worms.
Wow.
In high school,
my nickname was Wormborg.
Okay.
So we still need to do baseballs.
And Andrew still needs to figure out
how they write dates in his country.
Right.
So it's both.
Andrew, did you not get enough sleep last night?
I'm a little tired. Yeah.
I'll sleep.
You guys up pretty late playing Halo?
No, just you and me. No.
This might be early for him too.
It was two hours earlier than normal.
What time would you say you wake up on an average day, Andrew? Do you have an alarm?
Do you set an alarm to wake up?
I have an alarm set for 730 a.m. I typically wake up on an average day, Andrew? Do you have an alarm? Do you set an alarm to wake up? I have an alarm set for
7.30 a.m. I typically wake up
before then. Every day?
Not on weekends.
What time would you say you get up on the weekends?
Probably closer to 9.30.
Around there, yeah.
It's a rolling conversation.
Yeah, I'm going to change it up.
Here, I got a response from the merch team.
We will change the
pages size spec will take a while because uh they're they are shared specs across brands so
i think that's saying like they'll have to break it out yeah exactly yeah that's fine it's a little
work we currently have medium listed as m so do you want it to be xm or spell it out it should
just be xm right i guess so yeah if it's written as M, it should be XM. And if it's written out medium,
it'll be extra medium.
Now, should it be...
I'll say that anywhere. Now, should it be written
out as EXTRA medium
or XTRA medium?
I think with an E.
Okay.
I mean, that's how you wrote it.
Yeah, I was just thinking it's a little cooler if you...
Extra.
Punch the X.
Extreme. Extreme X. Extreme.
Extreme medium.
Okay.
It's happening, I guess.
So baseballs.
Okay.
Gavin is not around.
Starting soon.
Okay.
Do we wait until after he's back?
Do we do it on a week when he's here?
Do we do it on our next office meeting?
Which would be October, but you have to move it.
Here's the question. Does the
audience even remember?
Oh, I think there are people who want baseballs.
Okay, so probably sooner than later.
Yeah.
And we just need to do
exactly what we did last time? Yeah, we just gotta hit baseballs.
How do we get it so that more
people can screen match their baseballs?
Because I thought that was really cool
that the guy found his baseball in the video.
Dude, with the giant hands?
Yeah.
Yeah, those were huge.
Huge hands.
It was pretty cool.
Massive hands.
So do you want to be there to take pictures
of every ball that's hit or what?
I don't know.
I kind of don't want to make another video.
Right.
This is more sounding like something
that we should have done in the first video.
Right, right.
Which is something that you just like
walked yourself backwards into
by going, here's some ideas.
I don't want to do that.
What if we get somebody
to just take a still photo
of every ball after it's been hit?
Right, that's what I was saying
if Gavin was going to do that.
Yeah, but he was going to,
we're talking video,
and then we just put up a page
of just all the photos and then you can go see if you can find your ball. Yeah, but he was going to, we're talking video, but, and then we just put up a page of just
all the photos and then you can go see if you can find your ball.
Well, I mean, you'll have your ball.
Yeah, but you see if you can find your ball.
My ball was number 62 on the, on the, on the wall of ball, on the ball wall.
Ball wall?
Ball wall.
I like the ball wall.
I like the ball wall.
Yeah.
Um, so when are we going to hit these?
Oh yeah.
Uh, this is so everyone at home understands.
This is typically how it goes where it's here's one idea.
All right.
Here's four more ideas on top.
When?
Oh, right.
How about, uh, man, this Uno infinite stream is really fucking my life up.
Yeah, I know.
Cause that's the day we were supposed to do the monkey thing.
Yeah.
And then it's a day where you go, oh, we could have done
the baseball.
When is that?
The 9th.
And then I also had the idea,
I presented to Emily yesterday,
I was like,
what if we just go to Michigan
for the weekend
and just drive around
and look at houses
and try to find a town
to buy a house in?
And she goes,
aren't you doing that Uno thing?
And I was like,
god damn it!
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're leaving?
Huh?
You're leaving?
To a vacation home.
Oh.
I'm not,
I told you, if I, listen, we discussed this at dinner.
Yeah.
Dinner he was at?
Yeah.
Anywhere I move, you will be taken into consideration and we will move together.
Okay.
Because you're the only reason I'm still here.
You're the only reason I'm still here.
I get it.
Believe me, dude.
You and Millie are the only reasons I'm still in Texas.
We will move together.
And I will find a, and I won't, I won't, also, dude, I won't buy the house without getting your okay first to make sure that you're okay with the town.
I just need to make sure that my car looks good at that house.
Yeah.
No, I want to, like, anywhere.
How do you think it looks right now?
The back end not so good or what?
I'm trying, it looks like shit right now.
I'm trying to find the perfect place for us to move into the next phase of our life together
based on the conversations that we've had.
Okay?
Yeah.
But that none of that, by the way, precludes our ability to do this podcast.
It's not going to happen tomorrow.
And when it does, it'll be a vacation home until eventually we retire and have our old days together.
Hey, Andrew.
Yeah. When do you think we're going to hit the baseballs? I don't know when we'll hit the baseballs. Until eventually we retire and have our old days together. Hey, Andrew? Yeah?
When do you think we're going to hit the baseballs?
I don't know when we'll hit the baseballs.
I'm more focused on if they move by November.
It is not my fault if I never end up in Texas.
I just want that known.
That is no longer on me.
Much like Vegas, not my fault.
That is true.
I will say that is true.
We're not hitting the baseballs before Gavin leaves, I don't think.
Well, yeah, I would think.
So we'll have to do it.
Are we doing a podcast on Thursday?
Yeah.
I mean, are we?
This coming Thursday?
The 8th?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why would we not?
Oh, I can't.
Wait, the 8th?
No, no, I'm good.
I can't. No, no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Eric, look. I was, the 8th? No, no, I'm good. I can't.
Jesus.
No, no, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Eric, look.
I was in the wrong week.
No, no, Eric, look.
Why?
Because I had ****.
I had ****.
But that's on...
Gavin's out of town.
Hey, Jeff.
No, you don't.
What?
You don't have ****.
Oh, you're right.
Yeah, I know.
I forgot.
We were holding off on that.
Oh.
Well, okay.
We can cut that. Yeah, no. Turns out I'm clear on the 15th. Yeah, I know. I forgot. We were holding off on that. Oh. Well, okay. We can cut that.
Yeah, turns out I'm clear
on the 15th. Yeah, turns out.
Dude, what a
relief. That shit was
heavy on my calendar that week.
Oh, man. That makes my life
way easier. Probably makes some other people's lives way
harder. I mean, we could hit him on the 15th.
Oh, no. We can't do an episode.
Why don't we just hit him before the episode? You're not here on the 15th. No. On the 8th. on the 15th. Oh, no. We can't do an episode. Why don't we just hit him before the episode?
You're not here on the 15th.
No.
On the 8th.
On the 8th.
On the 8th episode.
Yeah.
Can we do it in the morning?
I have to do an SBI post show at 1 p.m. that day.
So we're going to squeeze it in in the morning on the 8th?
Yeah, okay.
From, what, 10 to noon, I guess?
Try to get it there?
Yeah.
That sounds great to me.
It does? That works. Yeah, it works for Andrew. Oh, cool guess? Try to get it there? Yeah. That sounds great to me. It does?
That works.
Yeah, it works for Andrew.
Oh, cool.
It works for you.
Thanks, Andrew.
You're welcome.
Appreciate it, man.
I can even do nine.
Do you think we could hook up a button that Andrew can press in Canada that swings a baseball
bat in Texas?
Get Marcus to make...
That technology has to exist.
I mean, it's just...
Just be like a computer hooked up to a
solenoid or something.
That could be made.
Hitting baseballs, adding Jeff,
adding Gavin,
adding Nick.
I'll see who else wants to come
and hit, like, catch them. Yeah, there you go.
Alright, there it is. Invite Jack so he can show up
halfway through.
Not even worth the time to go back in and invite him.
Okay, so when you guys hear this,
I'm sure that by the time this comes out,
it will have been past the 8th.
So just know that it probably moved
and we didn't hit the baseballs on the 8th.
Yeah, I was about to say,
I'd love to know how many of
these things actually happened by the
time we do the next office day. I'm so
excited for Jeff to go like, guess what?
My tooth fell out. It did happen.
No, my tooth falls out. I'm walking away.
He's walking away.
You won't see Jeff anymore.
September 8th,
10 a.m.
Dude, we're blowing through this office day.
This is awesome.
Look at all the work we're doing.
Look at all the work we're scheduling to do in the future
that we're not doing today.
That we're probably also not doing in the future.
We'll do it in the future.
It may not be that future, but it'll be in a future.
Jesus Christ.
Do you think there's an alternate dimension,
like an alternate universe,
where we're really,
really like just fucking gung-ho and successful
and **** face.
And we just,
we make tons of stuff
and we meet all of our deadlines
and we...
Yes.
There has to be, right?
Infinite possibilities?
For sure.
Yeah.
Love to meet those guys.
And that universe,
I only have upper body injuries.
It's the exact opposite.
It just got...
There's his wrists.
My shoulders are fucked.
He's got a lifetime
of nipple problems.
He's like,
I can't record today, guys.
My wrists and nipples
are acting up.
Okay.
Do we want to come up
with ideas for this sock thing?
Yes.
Because here's the thing.
The socks we've seen,
the cursed socks,
which we will be cursing,
well, not we,
Gavin will be cursing live.
And we just came up with changing them both to also be left socks.
Yes.
I mean, I think that's to try and pull old jokes back into the present.
Correct.
I would like to see one product one day.
That's like the, what is it?
Katamari.
Katamari.
How do you say that?
Katamari?
Katamari.
Yeah.
Katamari like the boat?
No, the Katamari. Yeah. No, Katamari? Katamari, yeah. Katamari like the boat? No, the Katamari, yeah.
No, Katamari Dynasty or whatever,
the ball that you roll on it.
Katamari Damacy, yeah.
Katamari Damacy, thank you.
That's just like the Katamari Damacy
of all of our jokes
wrapped up in the one dumb ball.
Big ball.
Yeah.
And we'll put it on the ball wall.
Pretty good.
I forgot about the ball wall.
We need to write that down.
I'm not going to write down ball wall.
Okay, so we don't know when the socks are actually coming out, but...
Close.
We do have...
Am I doing it as a live stream?
Yes, it will be a live stream, either half an hour or an hour.
I think we'll kind of have Kurt Blanch to kind of do whatever we want to.
And will I just have my own sort of mystic area of the set,
and then you other guys are going to be
filling time while I'm cursing? I think we can
I think that was the initial pitch
was I thought while you were, had your
like, your little like voodoo area
or wherever where you're doing your cursings
and then we're off on the other side, like on the main stage
and in my head we would be
selling Switch fucks, but
I don't think those are going to be ready
anytime soon. No.
So.
But here's the thing.
Is this where we incorporate the tuxedo?
Yes.
Because we don't have
any tuxedo stuff right now.
Are you wearing the tuxedo
while you curse these socks?
Well, we were going to do
the poster with the tuxedo, right?
We're going to recreate that.
Right, right.
Yeah.
Maybe we'll sell those posters too.
Okay, I can see about getting that. Because I think if I'm in
curse mode, I should be wearing some
sort of cloak with a high collar. I agree.
Yeah. So not the tuxedo?
I think we put the, I think
we get a mannequin. I should look like Solitaire
in Live and Let Die. Have you seen that film?
Yes. Yeah, I should look like that. Okay.
Okay. I love that idea
and I agree with you. Jane Seymour.
I, uh, I think Dr. Quinn. I think, uh, I love that idea. And I agree with you. Jane Seymour. I, uh,
I think Dr.
Quinn,
I think,
uh,
I think that we should get a mannequin.
Okay.
And that we should put the tuxedo on the mannequin.
And then I was thinking like we,
we put it in storage or somewhere after that,
but maybe,
maybe the tuxedo on the mannequin is just like the silent member of face.
And anytime we have a video
anytime we record a video it's somewhere in the background okay just like watching over okay so
we need a tuxedo for the mannequin well we need a mannequin for the tuxedo sorry yeah we need we
have the tuxedo we need the mannequin sorry you tired already backwards no i'm just thinking
it's a lot of your brain i know i'm thinking ahead at what that means logistically for not just the mannequin,
but for the stream and then being able to keep the mannequin on hand for when
we want to shoot stuff because it's never,
no,
I got it.
Yeah.
The whole time we were talking and figuring that out,
it didn't disappoint.
No,
I got it.
I'm just thinking because the things that happen here are sudden, I feel like.
So I want to make sure that we can have it on hand.
Yeah.
So keep it in my office kind of.
Like on hand-a-kin.
Yep.
So.
Should we have a physical museum here at some point?
Yes.
Yeah, I think we have to.
Yeah.
Yeah, the Ripken's believe it because why not?
Yeah.
But like how?
Like that.
We keep saying, yeah, we'll do a museum.
And it's like, I don't even know logistically
how to begin to do that.
Yeah, it feels very much like an RTX idea.
Plastic cases around a bunch of shit.
You walk into a room and you just see
like a nice plastic cube
and the nice thrice-to-meet users.
But you're right.
Your idea is just to have this and that's it. I love the idea of theice to meet you. But you're right. Your idea is just to have this
and that's it.
I love the idea of the stuff we talk about
causing like a rent payment.
Like you have to store it
and it's like inconvenient
for the rest of the company.
And it's like,
oh, we're now paying to keep this stuff
in boxes.
I do like that idea too.
I do.
Okay, so you're going to be dressed like a Bond villain.
You want to curse the socks.
She's not a villain.
And then the tuxedo's on a mannequin.
And then we're selling it, huh?
We just sell face stuff.
Like whatever we have in the store at the time.
And then just like putting on a show, talking, doing a little banter, you know?
Andrew, you know, Andrew,
you'll, you'll be pipped in for that.
You're good with that.
No.
Okay.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Maybe you could throw it to me if you want to find out about the current curse.
What if,
okay.
So what if Andrew is there?
What if you and Jeff,
you and I are on the one side and we're doing,
we're selling this stuff or whatever.
And then Gavin,
just like solitaire is cursing the socks but then there's
also the monitor looming over
him and it's Andrew and Andrew is
there to like
keep an eye on this curse
to make sure that like all these curses are occurring
okay Jeff got excited
I have an idea okay
I don't know how hard this would be
what that means is
really fucking hard.
What if Andrew appeared in a crystal ball?
Okay.
Right?
He's just like in the crystal ball watching.
We can try.
I don't know what our crystal ball technology is.
Surely that exists on Google.
I should be able to buy something on amazon
what was the name of that guy in uh power rangers who was in the tube zordon yeah look like that
like his mouth is all morphed for budget reasons what do you what would you call what we're looking
for so i can see if it exists. Crystal ball... Novel...
Projectable...
Projectable.
Crystal ball projection?
LCD crystal ball.
Photo? Crystal ball photo?
Just add play to it.
Yep.
Easy crystal ball illusion.
How to easy crystal ball illusion using a projector
and hall illusion.
No, thanks.
Like we just need Andrew in a crystal ball.
Great.
It's a great idea.
I really do like it.
Jeff's listening to spooky haunted music.
Crystal balls.
Did you figure it out?
No, but we can at least talk to Marcus.
I'm sure he knows how to do it.
Okay.
Fans create clever and easy crystal ball.
All right, listen, I'll do some work on this on the weekend.
I'll look at it and see what I can find.
I mean, we have time because we didn't have the fucking socks yet.
Yeah, we don't have the socks yet.
I think Andrew should be barely recognizable.
Yes, I agree.
I think it needs to be a small crystal ball
that is just like,
that's fun for us.
Lips and a mustache.
Oh, did you know that Andrew was in the crystal ball?
It's like nobody understands or gets it
or sees it that well.
Great.
But I like the idea of splitting it
where you and I are,
we're trying to like sell this stuff
and then Gavin and Andrew
are performing some kind of ritual
and they're doing some spooky stuff
on the other side.
Oh, man.
It would be good if we had a product
to sell on Aurant.
Yeah.
Like the poster or whatever.
But even if it's just like
generic **** based stuff,
we can do that.
Maybe we can like clear out the warehouse
or something like we did with the Jeff stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
We did that with Face Jam too.
Should we also,
because I know when we did the signing of the cards. I think clearing out the warehouse would be... Yeah, yeah, yeah. We did that with Face Jam too. Should we also... Because I know when we did
the signing of the cards,
we split it so that I...
You know, you did most
and I did some
and Andrew did like one.
Yeah.
Do you guys want to come in
and curse one pair each?
We don't have any...
Yeah, I don't have any curse powers.
I mean, I would like to.
I'm not cursed at the moment.
But I just don't think...
I mean, I think it would ruin
the efficacy of the curse.
Right.
Maybe it will make them really good
good luck socks though
that's not what we're selling
yeah
that's a good point
you gotta remember
I mean I guess we
we can sell good luck socks later
you gotta remember
how the universe works right
uh
equal and opposite reactions
yeah
so if you have
uh
you're cursing socks
those socks are very unlucky
to somebody
but
because of that unluck somebody else gets extra luck. Those socks are very unlucky to somebody. But because of that unluck,
somebody else gets extra luck.
So those socks are lucky to somebody else
in the universe.
Right, right.
They're just not wearing them.
That person's enemy or whatever, you know?
Like their day got better.
They don't know exactly how,
but because their enemy put on cursed socks.
Do you like the idea of someone winning the lottery
and thinking,
someone else is wearing some unlucky socks today?
Yeah, probably.
Now, I had written up there, lottery and thinking someone else is wearing some unlucky socks today yeah probably now i had i i
had written up there uh do i wrote influencer quotes because i hate that word but are there
people we want to gift the socks to cursed socks like anybody out there in the world that you
like or don't like that you want to like send a free pair of socks to as like a not even like
the face apology basket,
just like as a gift from F*** Face?
I mean, as long as there's a disclaimer
saying that they are actually cursed.
Well, it's all over the box.
It's all over the box, yeah.
I mean, they are cursed socks.
Are we doing the wallet card just in case they die?
Not doing that.
Tough.
We should.
Who would we want to gift a pair of socks that say fuck you
too who would appreciate um hmm kind of funny kind of funny would be good rocco from mega 64
is a big sock guy oh is he yeah he he's got like a he loves like pizza hut socks and all kinds of
crazy shit we could send rocco a pair of socks i think socks that say fuck you and they're cursed he are he and also i'll be honest with you he
seems like a guy who's already been cursed a few times yeah you know so like the socks maybe maybe
there's sort of like a double negative situation where yeah yeah you know um like any even if it's
not like that's a great example of like rocco puts on cursed socks yeah i bet sean's life gets better
yeah it could be that you think we should send him to Ray?
We just send Ray a pair of socks that say...
If you wanted to have somebody
have the bare minimum reaction
to a joke,
I think Ray's definitely the person.
Oh, socks.
Sweet.
Oh, you want me to tweet about it?
All right, let's see. Socks. Those are all really good Ray impressions. Oh, you want me to tweet about it? I don't know.
It sucks.
Those are all really good Ray impressions.
Yeah.
Listen to Ray.
It's so weird that we only worked with Ray
for like two and a half years.
It feels like so much longer.
I guess I worked with him for a little bit longer
because he was like a stringer, you know,
before he came in.
But like face to face. Was it really that two and a half years?
I mean, it was three and a half.
I don't know.
It was a fucking thousand years ago.
I don't know that.
Yeah.
It just, it feels a lot longer than it was.
Yeah, it does.
Well, he left an indelible mark on our hearts.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, we'll start looking for a list of influencers that we can send.
Just somebody who like, like, I don't know, but I just thought like somebody who might get the joke or appreciate it or think it's funny yeah or be horribly offended
kevin donovan would be a bad choice not that i could get that information i don't i don't think
that would play you've got so did you already send the email that says hey where do you live
hey kevin tuxedo guy here
need your address
we'll send you a pair of socks
and say fuck off
big fan
okay well
we'll start making a list
and see who
who else we can
just an idea
in the spirit of influence
a little cursed outreach
yeah I like it
are you making a list
he's going down the list
he's uh
keeping the minutes
um
I feel like
um
we said kind of funny
but I think like specifically if Andy Cortez were to get these socks Andy yeah I feel like we said kind of funny but I think like specifically
if Andy Cortez were to get these socks
Andy yeah I feel like he would
I think he would be so excited and then he would
open and see that they were cursed and think the curse was real
and then be afraid of the socks
and then Rocco yeah that's good
Oprah
oh dude Coolio that's a great one keenan and kel keenan and kel can we send
it to keenan and kel keenan will throw them out but kel will use them yeah they'd like that
who else is big in face lore we can find billy ripken i mean don i mean don zimmer but
we can't what we're gonna do put him to do? Put him on the grave, I suppose.
Fucking Andrew just sent me this picture.
Wario in a crystal ball.
Proof of concept.
Mario Party is not a proof of concept.
Jackie Chan.
That's a good one.
I don't want to offend Jackie Chan. No, nobody wants to offend Jackie Chan. He's a good one. I don't want to offend Jackie Chan.
No, nobody wants to offend Jackie Chan.
He's a treasure.
That's a good point, though.
I like that line of thinking, though.
People that are important to
the monkey from MVP 2.
Is that someone who
needs to be sawed?
Is he alive?
You think Jack is dead?
How long is it?
30, 40 years, man.
What is it, a chimp?
Chimp will live a long time.
Unless they eat somebody's face off,
then they gotta put him down.
Siri, how long does chimp live?
The one in Dunstan Checks In
was an orangutan, I think.
Dude, Dunstan Checks In
is a phenomenal movie.
Should we watch that?
When was the last time you saw it?
Probably like a year ago.
It's way too recent. It's way too recent.
It is a good ass movie though.
Do you know that in that movie, Rupert Everett,
the bad guy,
I think growing up I thought he was
some old guy. He was in his 30s
in that movie. What?
Yeah, he was like 38 or something.
He looked old.
Wow. That might He looked old. Wow.
That might have been makeup.
Yeah.
Maybe they aged him up.
It says that chimps can live in captivity average lifespan 39 years for a female, 32 for a male.
However, world's oldest chimp, 68 years old.
Oh, wow.
I want to know if the orangutan from Dunstan checks in was older than the kid I don't
guaranteed
I feel like
yeah almost certainly
it would have to be
would it
I don't know
I don't know
monkey ages
yeah or like
what are like
monkey age
labor laws too
it's true
like it probably had to be
a certain age
yeah
to be on set
yeah
okay so we got a good thing there
and then anything does it do we're filming soon
oh yeah we could try to pick a date but i think that's gonna be in october
like i just don't even think we're gonna have time and know in september i just don't think
it's gonna happen with with gavin stuff with the amount we're doing and with the amount that's
already happening production wise in september um i think october is probably gonna be the earliest
we're gonna be able to do it. But we have like a great,
we have like a great list of stuff.
But what if we were able to film it
on the last week of September?
I can check with-
Wait, the Sox stream?
No, no, no, no.
We're back to does it do now.
Does it do?
Oh, okay.
I can check with Shane.
You're talking about the week of the 26th?
Yeah, like maybe we did on the 29th or the 30th.
I can check with Shane and see
what the production calendar is.
Just to see. Just to ask.
Okay. I'll...
I think I'm going to be...
I shouldn't say.
Alright, I'll email our
show floor.
Does it do availability
on...
Did your laptop just turn off?
Did it? Andrew?
Andrew, you there?
It's frozen.
Oh, is it?
Hang on.
I think it probably just was an hour and timed out.
Yeah.
I don't think it was the battery.
Is it the battery?
Could have been.
I think my battery's dead.
You won't be able to see us anymore, Andrew.
I'm sorry.
That's okay.
I think there's a plug-in here somewhere.
Let's do availability September...
What were we saying uh 20
looking at like that last week all right 28th 29th gavin how would you feel about that about
like the last the 29th or 30th of september after therapy i got a camera coming in at some point
then well you see you got to be there to sign for aPS receipt no I just got a rental that'll be expensive to not
where do you rent a camera from do you have to get it from
some other country or some other state
I rent it from the company that makes it
where are they from New Jersey
so New Jersey is the answer
thank you
that's very logical that you'd rent it
from the company that makes it
I went in my head
in my mind I went in my head. Yeah.
In my mind, I went to... There's like a Stanley Cup guy.
Like, there's a camera guy.
You had a camera guy that you're renting from
that like had all the cameras, all the lenses.
Was it a Phantom?
Makes sense.
Yeah.
Have you ever been to the Phantom headquarters in New Jersey?
I have.
How is it?
They all came out and took pictures of me.
Did they?
Yeah.
That's nice.
Was it a big crew?
It's quite a lot of people, yeah.
I bet.
Okay.
I'm getting it.
I'm seeing what the availability is for that.
Just what Ken heard you ask.
Yeah, yeah.
On either the 29th or 30th for a Does It Do shoot.
I love that our list of influencers is just Andy from Kind of Funny,
Rocco from mega 64 work here
coolio
Kenan
Kell and
Jackie Chan
with a question
mark as Ray
ever this
Ray know about
this podcast
no probably
out of it
have I talked
to him I
must have
talked to him
about it
I must have
but I don't
know I
think that
I think that
wraps us up
for our
actual office
talk chit and
chat everybody
talks to Ray
except the
people that
used to work
with Ray.
Well, have you tried
I don't know if you know this, Ray,
not the guy reaching out. Have you tried
reaching out to Ray?
I texted him recently.
He's always streaming. I never want to
bother him while he's saying the same.
Bother him while he's streaming. It doesn't matter.
It does not matter. I just text him
Hey, remember when we used to record games
using the capture window
in Final Cut 7
and if it dropped one frame,
the entire video would go?
That's what I was all up for.
That's insane.
And we were just reminiscing
about how shitty our systems were.
That's fucked.
Oh, we also want to get more people
in the audience, right,
for Does It Do?
Are you guys cool with that?
Oh, yeah.
So the audience really...
One of the comments we noticed a lot on the launch
was that people loved your laughter in it.
And we had a...
This is some sausage talk.
We had a lot of conversations beforehand.
Is that a phrase that I should know, by the way?
It comes from the phrase,
like, learn how the sausage is made.
It's like the peer behind the scenes kind of thing.
I just decided to call it sausage talk in the moment.
And that's a thing for a podcast.
Yeah.
So a little sausage talk.
We had early edits had canned laughter
throughout the episode.
And I got what it was going for.
It was definitely like more toward
the infomercial spoof angle,
but it just sounded kind of hollow,
and we noticed that even,
we could hear your laughter in it still,
and that was so much funnier.
We dumped the canned laughter, boosted your laughter,
so the discussion was when we recorded.
That was my first note, I think, actually, on the first cut.
And I do think, uniform board meeting sausage talk.
I do think that in the second episode,
which is out by the time this is out,
there were more people in the studio at that time.
And so you'll probably hear more laughter
and more kind of like chatter.
And I think that's probably the way
we should go with the second one.
We'll just grab people from around
and see if they want to come watch you guys,
watch Gavin fall and break his wrist
or his ass or whatever.
Maybe when I break my ass,
we could replay it
and put the GTA
wasted over it.
People were like,
I was in the live chat
this morning
when it premiered
on YouTube
and people were like,
oh, here's the point
where Gavin gets hurt.
Oh, there's where
Gavin got hurt.
And I was just like,
that is not where
Gavin actually gets hurt in episode two.'s where Gavin got hurt. And I was just like, that is not where Gavin got hurt. Gavin actually gets hurt
in episode two.
And people were like,
holy fuck.
Because that looked bad.
Yeah.
They were blown away
when you kicked the TV.
Okay, cool.
So I feel good
about our list of things.
Yeah, last thing we have here
is supplemental content
office talk.
That's what this is.
We recorded it.
It is Uniform Board Meeting
Sausage Talk 9-2-22.
I also want to still work on a little five-minute best-of clips for F*** Face
and call it the F*** Face introduction document
or something that people can send their friends.
Oh.
I don't know what to include.
You're saying like when people say how do I get into the show,
it's like some best-of clips?
Yeah. Like a little onboarding document. We're talking into the show? It's like, it's like some best of clips. Yeah.
Like a little onboarding.
We're talking about making an entire episode of that, right?
Like trying to design the best opening.
It could be a full long thing.
I just don't know what I put in it.
There's so much to pick from.
Yeah.
But I feel like we do need a condensed, like people at the company are always asking me
like, which episode of F*** Face should I start with?
And I have no idea ever what to send.
Me neither.
I'd just say 16.
Yeah.
For whatever reason, that is just the one that, I couldn no idea ever what to say. Me neither. I'd just say 16. Yeah. For whatever reason that is
just the one that I couldn't
tell you what happens in episode 16 but I just remember it being
a thing when we did episode 16. I
sometimes just throw a number out. I'll be like
oh 46 is the one.
That's dangerous.
Okay so are we good
then? We got all of our
are we like. I think we
covered all the
things we needed to cover
quite a bit I hope people listen to this
and don't just go what the fuck
is going on well we'll have to release it
for the listen to it I don't know we discussed when we'll do
that no we should
I guess we can do that offline this could also
be included in the too much sausage
no we can figure out when you want it to come out
it's just like when do you want it to come out it's not coming out tomorrow right this is the part
where we have a fucking conversation about it instead of just tomorrow uh what do you think
like in a month uh i think we could maybe episode one comes out as we record episode two so next
i feel like we need to we need to make more of the fact
that this is,
it just hit me.
This is the first time
we've ever had a meeting
as a group related to
F*** Face ever.
Yes.
And Nick is not here.
This has never happened.
I'd like to point out
so that people don't feel
like we're exclusory.
Mm-hmm.
Nick was invited.
Yeah, he is.
He just couldn't make it.
He had something else.
He had something else going on.
Something else going on.
And he'll be at the next one, hopefully.
He'll be here.
Thank you, Stacey.
Yeah.
Nick will be here for the next one, I'm sure.
But is he going to go to the next Does It Do as well?
He should.
Oh, he should.
Because he's a great background laughter.
I feel like he should be at all stuff.
Oh, I definitely agree.
I wish we could hear him
during the episodes.
We can start doing that, I guess.
It's like, we try.
So if we look at this,
you really want this to come out in a month? You want this to be
in October? Do you want this to come out when
we're going to do the next one? Were you thinking sooner
or later? Sooner. Okay, sooner.
I was thinking like the week of,
maybe like the week of the 12th.
Oh, that's what I was thinking.
Or like the 19th.
Yeah, no, week of the 12th.
You just didn't say it.
You just decided to keep it to yourself?
Yeah.
Cool, right on.
Great.
Okay.
Is everybody else okay with that?
Week of the 12th?
Yeah.
We'll cover any sensitive dates.
Because you don't say anything!
Because everybody else said something.
Because we all said something.
12th of October?
What are you talking about?
He's not listening at all.
The week of September 12th, okay?
And this is for when it's coming out.
Just when this conversation comes out.
So I just put it to you, Eric.
Why are you looking at me?
Why does it matter?
Because I want to make sure we have buy-in from everyone
because it's a group effort.
Yeah, sure.
No, no,
because if I don't get a yes from you
and then I hear about it later
and you go,
well, I never said
because that's why.
I'm buying myself.
It's what Gus taught me.
Don't give any of these people an inch.
Is that really what he taught you?
Yes.
He said, don't give them an inch.
Why?
Why?
Why would you give them an inch? And I went, well, I mean, sometimes. And he went, don't give him an itch. Why? Why? Why would you give him an itch?
And I went, well, I mean, sometimes.
And he went, don't.
You're not helping yourself.
And I went, genius.
Genius.
I didn't know Gus cared enough to have opinions.
That's cool.
It's why he just went like, just get the definitive.
Karate chop it down.
That's it.
That's it.
Okay.
So Gavin said yes.
Okay.
That's all I wanted.
He said, yeah, why not?
He said, yeah, sure. Yeah. It doesn't require my attendance. That's it. Okay, so Gavin said yes. Okay. That's all I wanted. He said, yeah, why not? He said, yes, sure.
Yeah, it doesn't require my attendance.
No.
No, no, no.
I just want to make sure that you're fine with it.
None whatsoever.
We'll blur any date stuff.
Yeah, blur it.
Yeah, we'll blur.
Audio blur.
Yeah, we'll do a Gaussian blur.
You know what?
Let's do a radio blur.
A banana blur?
Yeah, a banana blur.
You know what?
Let's do a radio blur.
A banana blur?
A banana blur.
We should work on getting this to be a live document for our next board meeting.
Oh, I'll type it in and invite us all to this thing. I want a tablet.
A what?
He said tablet like it was three words.
He's like, I want a tablet.
I want a tablet the next. I want to tabble it
the next time.
Oh, no.
I mean,
I would type it up.
My computer died, so.
Okay.
I think we're good then.
Yeah.
It was a good
first board meeting.
Yeah.
Next time we'll discuss earnings.
That was very productive.
Yeah.
I agree.
Earnings.
All right.
All right.
So we should stop this
so that we can start
the SBI post show.
Oh, we should do that.
Yeah.
Okay.
This is the office.
Well, everyone.
Board meeting adjourned.