F**kface - The Last Of Donuts // The Company Is Saved [204]

Episode Date: April 24, 2024

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about strong acid levels, Jack is kinda not a thief, closing out a 15 year old storyline, the biggest raccoon party, being the first person to do or interact with something, revisiting easter eggs, passing the torch of listening for Nick in the mask, the potential new Geoff and Andrew show, The Last of Us 2 shutting the donut shop down, favorite donut flavors, incorporating new cams, Andrew is saving the company, bringing back dead drops, riding with Eric to do weird stuff, dream topics, who Ike of Mike and Ike is, Rechtsschutzversicherungsgesellschaften, taking a leave from talking, icy hot, and more.

Can I ask you a question Andrew? I keep seeing this pop up and I figure I mean it doesn't have to be on the show because it doesn't really matter or whatever. Sure. How do you read this? I don't understand. I don't understand how... Regular clean, plus clean, super clean. No, no, no. Shut up. Shut up. The price is $179.99? What is...

Okay. $179.99? I don't understand. What does that mean? $179.00 what? I have no idea 179 one one seventy nine point nine one ninety nine point nine two oh nine point. What is that? How is to hours? Yeah, what hundred and twelve?

What currency is that? That's what I'm asking. How is it? 209 what 209 what Canadian dollars for one gallon of gas is it that expensive? Oh? Do you not I've never thought about this What do you mean? What do you mean? I don't drive. I'm not a I don't have a car Well, I own a car, but I don't drive it like um, but like look, okay here here here here for I think sense I think it's in cents. Oh But like, look, okay, here, here, here, here, four. I think cents, I think it's in cents. Oh, because look, as an example, I put the American,

here's just an example of American one. That you would easily read as $4.84. So 1799 would be $1.79.9 if it was cents. It says cents per liter. Oh, what? What the fuck? That's crazy! Counting in pennies. Yeah. I never thought about what the currency is.

You're right, that is odd. It's one hundred, okay, so I'm gonna go and say, my gas is one hundred and ninety-nine pennies? Per liter, yeah. Well, if you're bragging about affording 89. OK, well, do you want to? We got rid of the penny years ago, so it's even it's kind of crazy that we're still using that for gas. Hello and welcome to another episode of the face podcast.

No. What you said a previous and he's in like previous boy. Oh, I'm still recovering from my like cold. I had a week ago. Oh, you. Remember we were talking about earlier. Yeah, I was sick for one my like cold. I had a week ago. You remember we were talking about earlier Yeah, I I was sick for one day, but I have not had a cough for like three weeks sweet Andrew complaining about how someone sounds No, no wasn't complaining that was I was making fun of two different things. This is episode 204 my name is Jeff Ramsey. I'm the offended with me as always. Gavin Free and

the offender Andrew Panton, who's making fun of me. I was just in that moment. It's actually correct. I'm not going to run from it. Don't sound like this. How does it happen? It's been like, oh, yeah, this is what. So I was starting to get better. and then not to be too vulgar I keep when I'm on the edge of getting better Accidentally triggering my gag reflex and then coughing up like a bunch of acid like and it hurts the throat So then I reset oh This happened twice strong is your acid. Oh listen. I'm an acid boy, okay?

I'm a person aliens I'm not there listen, I'm an acid boy. OK, I got it. I'm a big fan. You ever seen aliens? I'm not there, but I'm close. Do you think if you if you chundered a little bit, if you boked on your floor, do you think it would go to the floor below? I don't know. I'm not there yet. I'm like if I did like one of those 23 and me or whatever DNA thing, I'm

probably like three percent xenomorph. I'm not enough. It's like the floor is melting But well they'd never be able to tell because it would melt like the file HR. Degre has never drawn a picture of you Yeah, I Was maybe though on the street when he had the inspiration for it. I was part of okay Not me specifically, but shades of me I bet you wouldn't eat through the floor, but I bet it might take a little varnish off off a wooden floor Maybe probably yeah, I think that's a good call. I guess used to melt through his laptops dude

Gus has the most acidic skin on earth. It's so fucking weird He would rub the metal it would like rub the metal off of his laptops look at any any Mac book that dude's ever owned That's dangerous Yeah, eventually that's why he has to get new laptops I don't think he could professionally arm wrestle even if he wanted to just take a toll you think you'd be disqualified I think so I think it'd be illegal is a cynic levels Slowly melt through the skin I got a clip oh

I'm coming in hot coming in hot with a clip just cuz you know it's been a it's been a part of the plot for a while A recording plot for a while from the rusa teeth podcast oh Episode 39 Oh! Hahahaha! Episode... 39. Hahahaha! Here we go.

But it's a two and a half hour long movie. You just described every Roland Emmerich movie. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. I mean, like, you know the animators had a field day with that. Like, okay, we needed to blow up Las Vegas by, you know, an earthquake and sandstorm. Okay. Spoiler alert! Jesus!

It's in the trailer! Come on now. Ugh, now I'm ruined. It's like, we. Come on now. No, I'm ruined. It's like we like it's that whole movie is thank God we weren't standing where we were 10 seconds ago. Like that's the whole movie. Like a different joke over 10 seconds. That's a different joke. Totally.

Oh, my God. How's that a different joke? Let me let me post your joke. OK, listen, I'm I'm not necessarily a fan of Jumping Jack's defendant here bullet of Jack Let me he's the offender and Jack's defendant. It's a different side. He and you pant is the official offender defendant Oh, no, that's the wrong. Sorry wrong That's Alan Wake 2.

It's the guy's dick in Alan Wake 2. Why'd you hit the wrong button? That's the exact same fucking joke. Yeah it was. Nevermind, I was wrong. The tweet is... Well Gavin, you can say it. It's your fucking words.

The tweet was, 2012 should have been cool. I'm glad I'm not 10 feet behind where I am right now. The funny thing is though, there's also a clip from the Rooster Teeth podcast episode 63. Really? About six months later. Check this out. Someone wrote that that movie is like, you know, thank God I wasn't standing there ten seconds ago the movie is like everything like it's blown up or destroyed right behind them as they're like driving no someone wrote it became it became an original comment and then became someone wrote I've also learned that Jeff really likes that joke he laughed both times that makes sense

it was your joke I like you you're funny're funny. I think you, I mean, I think you are the most entertaining person I've ever met. That's why I work with you. So it stands to reason that Jack, like, poorly ripping you off would still be amusing to me because it's still your comedy. Oh, that's a nice level of consistency. To be clear, Gavin's tweet is the 18th of November of 2009 and episode 39 of the Roost Teeth podcast is December 9th, 2009. I mean just mere weeks. Mere weeks. After I mentioned it, Jack texted me saying, I don't think I stole your 2012 joke? Question mark. But then afterwards he wrote, but that was 20 years ago.

So maybe I'm completely off Jack's defense. I am stepping away from it entirely. Bold move by the defense to say that was a totally different joke. Yeah. Well, to be fair, not very original joke. I'm sure a bunch of people watch that movie and thought the exact same thing. I'm pretty sure you're the only one. I'm on your side now. Definitely yours and only yours. Does that ever happen in court where the defense walks over to the prosecution? They just sit

next to each other. Listen, I'm a vibes guy. I've just been feeling the vibes of this courtroom and I've been swayed. I've moved through information has come out. I came in as a as a middle lawyer. And I got to say it's on your side. This is the whole point of discovery, as they say. So, yes, we could find out all the dirty secrets and truths and they can come to light and then we can find out the reality of the situation, which is that Jack. what year was that again? 2012?

2009. 2009? That Jack in 2009 is exactly as annoying as Jack in 2024 and still a thief. I like that that closes out a 15 year storyline. It's not bad. It's like the old Halo overkill. How do you feel about it? How do I feel? Yeah, because you say it like this has been on everyone's

collective mind for 15 years. This is a thing that you've been holding internally for that time. OK, I've been thinking about it for 15 years, but company like public plot wise, it's been about three weeks. Yeah. But, you know, a good one to close out before the company ends entirely. Before the company closes out. Yeah. How does how does that do you feel like the biggest sense of completion?

Um, no. Well, I mean, I think it's funny. It is funny. I wouldn't I don't care either way. Really? There's a dumb tweet. I shouldn't say that Jack's a thief. I'm just making a joke. He kind of said he was.

What do you think you are the first person to ever do in your life? Slip on a sushi container. I'm the first person, I'm the first person on earth to sit in a swivel chair and drink a diet Pepsi with a watch on my right arm in this office. Okay. Decent. I guarantee you nobody else has done that in the history of this house. Anybody else? Well, I have one that I have a mystery that made me think of a mystery that I'm dealing with. I am the only person who has lived in the unit that I live in

as the first person to move in. And I noticed yesterday, on my bathroom wall, there are a bunch of scratch marks on the wall that I definitely didn't cause. Nobody I know would have been there caused. I don't know where they came from. I assumed that I was the first

to do everything in this space. I don't know why there are scratch marks on my wall. They're very clearly scratch marks. Think it was an animal. Maybe. But like, I don't know how how would an animal have gotten up to my unit and then scratched in this specific place? Well, like while it was being built, maybe. Maybe.

Yeah. I mean, do you think they've always been there? Like, they're not new, right? Well, that's the thing. I don't know if I just never noticed or if they're newish. I don't know how they would be newish though if they were. So I'll I'll. Yeah, I think Gavin might be on to something when one time during the pandemic, we stayed at a hotel downtown for like a staycation, kind of, you know, just to sleep in a different bed

and look out a different window. And it was at a place downtown that like a staycation, kind of, you know, just to like sleep in a different bed and look out a different window. And it was at a place downtown that was kind of nice and we had like a little deck and we could sit down on the deck and right across from where our hotel was, like on the other side of the street, they were building another high rise condo kind of thing.

And I want to say it was like, it was like built about two floors below where we were. So we were like on the 11th floor. This was like maybe the ninth to the 10th floor. And at night, as soon as the sun would go down and all the workers would leave, hundreds of raccoons would come from God knows where and they would have the biggest raccoon party

on the top of this in process constructed building. And we spent a weekend just sitting on the deck just laughing and watching raccoons play raccoon games and rip shit up and go through the foot trash and You know like old fried chicken that somebody had thrown in a trash bag and just like and just wreak-havoc and then every and then when they were done they would leave and then the next night they would come back out I Bet there was a fucking raccoon party in your apartment as it was being built. I love that. That's a I'm just going to go with that narrative, even if it isn't true. I like the idea of a raccoon party.

I remember I was helping my friend move into a brand new house in England, and he was like, give me the tour and we're moving stuff in. And as a joke, he licked the toilet seat because he was like, it's the only time I could do that. No one's used to it yet. And I was like, the builders have probably shut in that thing a bunch. And he always threw up. Yeah. I was I was thinking about something similar. Actually, right around the time that we all lost our jobs, it would sidetracked.

What? But I had begun initial, I had this thought and I had done some initial work around an episode of So Alright, where I got to thinking about how many people have touched your, something in your house, like how many people have touched your dining room table?

Like physically human people have interacted with it. Like if you, or like your microwave. Think about like every component that was built in the microwave that was touched by a human being. The person who packed it up, the people who did the quality control checks, the people who loaded it onto a truck,

and then the people who unloaded it and then put it on a shelf, and then you bring it in your house and then you unpack it. By the time you open a brand new item that nobody's ever used before, hundreds and hundreds of humans have probably physically interacted with it.

And my dining room table is one of those shitty, like made from reclaimed pallets table. So it was a pallet before it was a table. So it's probably got even even longer life. It had a whole other life. And then if you want to take it back to, that palette was a tree that a human cut and then milled, you know, and even if it's a human running a machine, he's still pushing buttons and manipulating what's happening and somebody still taking it off the thing and loading it up

as lumber. And then somebody it's or like my dining room table is an old like Danish table I bought from a like a used furniture store from the 60s, right? Like a Danish modern table. How many people have just eaten dinner at that fucking table? You know? God, imagine if before you died, you had to put everything back. Just look at what your stuff. where's all this shit from technically? It kind of overwhelmed me for a couple of days though, where I just couldn't look at anything at my house and not think about how many hundreds of people had had their grubby

hands all over it. Like I don't even want to think about how many people have touched my sofa before I ever did. Especially if you're thinking about the foam and the, the, the fucking, the fabric and the assemblage of the fab like it's mind boggling. How many people's balls do you think have been on it? Oh, tons. Everybody I know that's a dude has had their balls on it pretty much. You know, at least that I know that I spend any kind of time with. But I was thinking about it because like 150 years ago or 120 years ago,

you would like forge out into the West and then you'd build a house with your by yourself or with another friend or with your wife or your kid. And then you'd if you needed something in that house, you'd go cut down a tree and you'd fucking make it. And you could have a house that you were the only person that touched potentially, you know, like it'd get complicated if you bought like a pizza, like something made out of iron that you got down from the local Smith or whatever. But for the most part, you would have been the only person to interact with all of your shit. And boy, are we in a different world than that now. Totally. That's crazy to think about. Do you ever drink a glass of water and think how

these molecules, how many people have they been inside before? No, no, I never have but I'm not gonna drink water anymore Eric said never WTF you never thought that no, I've never ever thought that ever and now I'm great amount of water on the planet Yeah, no, I understand that I just never thought about it being through a person It just never occurred to me now it has thanks man. Appreciate it. No Anyway when you're walking around your your apartment or your home tonight, just pick one random item and pick it up and then think 7,000 people touched the door. I knew it and then wipe it then wipe it down

going back to the mystery conversation of Or Gavin's resolution. Do you guys have any Easter eggs or things related to this show that have never come out? You're still just sitting on So we won from notes that I don't understand I Have stuff that was like in process that was That could still be in process Like there's a few things here and there that I don't need to wrap up because I'll just carry them on to the next

thing if that makes sense Gracie said grip strength that'll that's carrying on and it's gonna Don't I mean just Jeff don't even bother don't I mean,'s the point it's fine. Just say okay, and let's keep going Okay, we didn't pre-measure no we did we did we pre-measure say it We pre-measured right But you don't want to say the pre I'm fine saying the pre now if it's gonna wait now Now that you've now that I'm doing it fucking two months at this point you have to just start over. I mean get real Get real. Oh listen. I don't want to go down this road of anger and fighting

There's no I'm looking at that street, and there's no way anyone comes out feeling good about themselves So we're gonna keep walking. I don't think it's true. I think I'm not involved. You're not But I Have I had an Easter egg for the show. One of the bigger ones I've done, no one's found been sitting on it for like nine months. And I don't know how to. Oh, is that what you you were X in the other day? I was Xing the other. What I saw, I saw, I saw a tweet on like, yeah, I saw a tweet from you that somebody had posted. I saw a tweet from you that somebody had posted. So is it like to the level of maybe one of us has monopoly money in our house and we don't know it sort of thing?

I would say it's beyond that. I don't know how much I should reveal. I confirmed it's still there. I gave all the instructions to find it in an episode within the past nine months. Is it like a scavenger? Like it's out to the public to find it in an episode within the past nine months. Is it like a scavenger? Like it's a it's out to the public. Well, that's I was hoping someone would just find it one day because I I prompted how to find it kind of subtly in a show that we did within the last nine months.

And it has yet to be discovered. No traces of it. Within the last last nine months, you say? Within the last nine months to give a little bit of a range. Now, is this an Easter egg for us or for the audience? I mean, you guys don't know about it. I mean, it could be something that you could discover. Yeah, but you could fill a fucking ocean with what we don't know.

I could tell you guys offline if you want, or I can do I review. I don't know what to do I know because this is wrapping up As does it end when the company ends? It will still exist continue. It was just still be there To be found and we just we just wait Okay, should I give like a clue? I? Mean you sounds like you just did it's within the last I guess yeah within nine months. It was nine months ago

That's what you want to believe I'm not gonna confirm or deny that statement I'm not gonna confirm or deny that statement. You'll see when it's found if it is found people will confirm if that's right or not. Okay. I do love when people say shit like that. It was like yeah I waited for over 20 minutes and it's like so 21 minutes or 20 minutes in one second. We should also also we need to pass the torch my watch has ended on a on the Nick mask who's taking who's taking q2 I think I

was q2 if I get any service and the last couple episodes what did you have an ear out for it yeah I've been listening've noticed that a lot of the audience seems to think that he's already worn it but Yesterday I didn't pick up on it. Well. Yeah, he's supposed to declare if he's worn it so Exactly, and we're all up to date on the rules always we know that Definitely a thing that we remember and we always take stock of and that I know Gavin was diligently paying attention to three straight Us as it does to you the listener at home a hundred percent absolutely Now does he have to do this in? Face or can it go over to the next thing I?

Think it has I think it's I think it can roll into the next thing I think it rolls into the next thing That sounds like face jam Nick that was Face jam Nick occurs a couple of octaves above normal He does you can ask Gracie Gracie knows when when Nick is in face jam mode, it's the oh, the pitch is like higher. It's very but also we did face jam earlier today. So that might be nice. He's having trouble coming down. Is he in the mask right now? Wait, are you wasting a guess? No, I know you're not. Are you wait? Yeah. Are you wasting

a guess? First of all, I don't think I think if we all fired our bullets we would have more bullets and there are shows left This face I don't think I think that would be why the bullet in response to Do you want to be wrong today or next week today? Okay Does does Eric have different most just Gracie have different modes between the two shows? Do you want to be wrong today or next week today? Okay Does Eric have different most just Gracie have different modes between the two shows Oh, I I think I don't know if Gracie will admit that she does but she does no I do I do Yeah, are you more of a freak or less of a freak on this one? Less okay, I'm way less even with that somebody Yeah, so how come you're half assing it over here, Gracie?

So I think you give it 110% over those face jam fuckers. It's a different beast over there. Yeah, she doesn't have to do any of the heavy lifting here. There's plenty between the three of you, so it's fine. There's a talent deficit on the other side, I get it. It's a lot about when the food gets involved, because I take charge in that realm and that's what really gets me out of my cage.

The food gets her and Nick going in a way that is like inhuman. Somebody described Face Jam as forefathers that have a daughter that they're not related to that sleeps in a human dog bed. And that really is the show, and we eat pizza. That's kinda it. That's just kinda it.

Hey, speaking of eating stuff, apparently it has been brought to my attention over and over and over again in all forms of social media and email. That the banana thing we invented or that I invented exists in many, many forms and has for a very long time. I had no idea. There's no point in trying to go further down that road because I can buy 20 different ones on Amazon. But you also don't have to let me know about it anymore. I got the message. I really 100% got the message.

We can still do our own version, not versions of the product, but we can still fill our bananas and present them to each other with stuff. Yes, we can, and I think that's still a good idea. I just don't think we need to be in a rush to do it. Yeah, no, the market is already set. We can take our time.

I'm not gonna try to sell a product doing it, but we can definitely make our own versions and see and add it to the the rich pastiche of face culinary Because I still want to see if a Tums powdered Pepto filled banana is suitable for Gracie No No, I think it will be There's only one way to find out.

What? So you're gonna do it? Yeah, this is insane. That's insane, maybe. Well, if she keeps it down, it worked, right? But I don't... Yeah. Something tells me I'm not gonna keep it down. I respect the willingness to try. Andrew and I almost filmed a new show this week, but then we didn't yeah, I guess what happened I

Just felt terrible yesterday. I felt I sounded worse yesterday than I do today Sweet, but we're close. We're close. We got the components. We're very excited out very excited What are you actually doing that keeps triggering your gag reflex? Vomiting acid I went over this That was the whole beginning of the show. No, but I'm saying what causes that? Oh, I go... Like I'm trying to cough up phlegm and then I push it a little too hard. Okay.

And then I cross a point of no return. Have you never done that? Oh, yeah. Well, there we go. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You just made it sound like you kept trying something and then you gagged. Well, I was trying to cough phlegm up and then I, you know, I was successful and some, unfortunately. Fair play. But not listen I learned my lesson two times I'm gonna happen a third ain't gonna happen to fool me twice mm-hmm okay full of fuller I got a I got I got some some beef with Warner Brothers I'm at Warner Brothers I'm upset with them they've they've they've done me

first of all we don't have jobs that was unfortunate second of all I'm upset with them. They've they've they've done me. First of all, we don't have jobs. That was unfortunate. Second of all, I'm kind of OK with it. Even even more offensive. Those sons of bitches, they're filming the last of a season to where I live for six weeks. They're filming it in the downtown core which is a street where I live and

My problem with this is for six weeks It's gonna be shut down and the best donut shop in the city is on that street No donuts for six weeks all because the last of us do I'm so annoyed Well, I'm so fucking mad at these stupid clickers and these fireflies If you get job as background though, can you just keep going to the donut shop? No, cuz it's closed. It's closed. You're just not close to crew all the businesses Yeah, no all of the businesses are shutting down and they're being compensated That so so here's what's going to have those weeks.

That business, that donut shop, what is this? When does this take place? Like next week. OK, you've got you've got time. All right. How do they know you by face at the donut shop? No, no. But you go there a lot, right? Yeah, I go there sometimes. And I know you're personable in person because you you turned the entire Canadian bagel industry upside down. So when you have a product like the regulation bagel, it's it's

hard not to exactly. And so the point, the reason I bring that up is that the people know of you now in that community. I'm sure. So here's what you do. You go into your donut shop and you go, listen, I heard you guys are getting a week off a full pay. Right.

What's better than getting a week off full pay? How about getting full pay, but also working about half as hard as normal, running an illegal fucking fly-by-night donut shop at the back of the store? They don't have to know what's going on. We'll keep the curtains closed. Keep the windows, the shutters drawn, right?

And you can even become a distributor for them and they could compile a list of their best customers and then you could do secret orders by night and you could be a runner for them and you could send off, you could be the guy that delivers the donuts and then you could always take a little bit just for you. It could be wildly profitable for everybody involved. I love the idea of seeing an episode

like Ellie in the foreground searching stuff and you just see Andrew running through the background out of focus with a bag of donuts. Yeah. Like, that zombie's wearing shorts! I definitely want to steal something from that set that I don't know when or how. Probably would just end up being a poster if anything

It's unfortunate with the the last of us it post apocalypse not exactly a lot being added It's more removed. I would assume yeah It's just it's gonna be weird to watch the last of a season to be actively angry at certain scenes I feel like they they shut me down for this. This one sequence it took. How many days six weeks do you get a donut from there? Not often, but maybe like once a month. So you're going to miss out on one donut.

You get to miss out on one point five donuts. There might be a time in which I really want a donut in that stretch and I'm not gonna be able to get it Well, it sounds like you're not willing to go down there and do the hard work to talk to the owners to figure out No, I'm not going to go down there and start an illegal donut ring. You're right. You called me on it You're right I made so much fucking money in six weeks and you would have been the hero of your entire community because you're not the only Little boy in a room somewhere in Vancouver Island right now lamenting the fact that donuts are going away for six weeks. There's hundreds if not thousands of you in your community that you could be servicing.

But irrespective of that, just go buy a dozen donuts and freeze them. I guess but I don't know. I like them fresh. I don't know. I don't know. That's true. I don't think it's the same. There's nothing better than a fresh donut. You're 100% right. Yeah. Have you thought about just, they got cronuts getting the ingredients from them early and then making them at your house layer? I can't make doughnuts. I tried once it was a disaster. So you just need a fire? How do you make one? Yeah, you get an oil in a pot. What if you did it with your Keurig? You put the oil in the back of your keg. Eat it up. It just gets like infused with

molten oil. Many years ago, I bought the Carmella Soprano Cookbook and one of the recipes in that cookbook was donuts. It's the only recipe I tried to make out of that cookbook and it did not go well.

Great book. There's a lot of lore in it if you're Sopranos fan worth exploring. But you didn't learn anything from it though? Like you didn't learn anything not to do for the next time you want to make donuts? I learned not to do it again is a take away. What went wrong with it? That I learned They just they were kind of hard. They weren't all that that fluffy. God. I'd love to watch you make donuts I think it'd be great. I think you'd nail it I'm not I'm not which that

Donut a donut cam yeah, Andrew in the kitchen making donuts. Do you typically go for a filled donut or a ring donut? I'm not a fan of the filled donut. I like the ring. I'm a ring donut guy. Hey, what's everybody's favorite donut? I Like a classic plain ring with with chocolate on top I think that's a classic and I don't mind the occasional sort of raspberry jam one filled. Hmm. Hmm. I think raspberry jam one filled hmm hmm I think maybe like honey glaze could go for honey glaze I just stay away from all white goo on the inside of donuts hmm I guess you go all in for the white goo oh that's not donut is that a bear? Crue rater fritter apple fritter not donut Absolute donut. Yeah, it's a donut. Gracie says strawberry glaze Nick says maple. You know what my favorite donut is just a fucking

Glazed donut just a normal ass donut they glide down You can just stuff like most of it in your mouth and they become nothing. It's great I like every donut y'all have posted here and I would eat every one of them But like when I think donut, I just want to eat a bog standard donut There's something about you Jeff that that tracks with so hard for me. Like you are Yeah, if I had to guess I would be like that guy doesn't want anything going on except glaze it and let me just fucking Tamp these down my throat as fast as I can. So you're not a Voodoo fan or a Gordo's?

No, I like them just fine. Every once in a while on a Sunday we'll get Voodoo and you get like the sample pack and they're great, but they're a fun distraction, but I'd be just as happy eating a regular donut. Like if you brought me 12 Krispy Kremes or 12 Voodoo donuts, I'm not enjoying the Voodoo more than the Krispy Kremes. That makes sense. Just Jeff sitting in his little booth. He's got his black coffee with nothing in it, his donut with a basic glaze. Yep. You're goddamn right. 70's beat cop style just sitting there enjoying the most basic thing. That totally makes sense.

I think Jeff's becoming more of a bog-standard guy as he ages. Oh, yeah, could be. I think you just like, at some point, who you are gonna be is cemented, and who you are is probably some grownup version of what you thought grownups were when you were a kid. And so I think Eric's nailed it with the 70s beat cop,

because I grew up as a kid in the 70s in the early mid 80s. And so all the grownups that I experienced through film and television in my life were kind of like that. Just like dudes with mustaches who drank coffee, black coffee out of a foam cup and ate regular donuts. You know what I mean? And didn't bother with ketchup or mustard

on stuff. And that's who I'm turning into. And I, so I, I think I'm just a product of like the Rockford files. Maybe you should have been a cop. Maybe that's why you like twin peaks so much. Jeff is a cop. I've been thinking about doing a full fucking twin peaks. Walk, watch through again. Oh, I should give you a blu-rays back then because you said you would never watch it ever again I know I know I said that I know I said that and I thought it I meant it but it's been I need to go back and finish season 3 and if I'm gonna finish season 3 I might as well watch season 1 Yeah, I'll give you your discs back. Well, don't give me don't give them to me yet. Okay, I might get distracted Can I jog something back for a second you were saying would love to watch Andrew make donuts?

Set up a twitch and then Andrew's making the nuts or whatever. We couldn't even get this guy to film His hands playing this game with sticks. We're not gonna get what are you talking about? What's totally what's I? Don't know. I'm thinking maybe you're gonna make it donuts. Maybe the new thing could be Andrew turning over a new leaf with hand cam Donut cam 2024 new leaf new cams I just think a GoPro on your chest would lead to such immense content just throughout your life cam I agree. I'm a donut cam sushi cam. Sushi came is dangerous.

I don't know if we can. Sushi came. We got to be careful. Sushi came. I have another thing that that, you know, talking about Easter eggs and secrets kind of have a big one. I have a big one. I've been sitting on a little bit tiny little bit As you all may know the company is in fact closing. Yeah

and It's yeah, really Gracie. I'm sorry that you had to learn this way, but it is and I Decided I I'm gonna you know I'm gonna do something about this. I'm gonna. I'm gonna bring us back Christ It's what I'm gonna do so if you're listening to this it is Wednesday What day April 24th? I think what day is when does this come out? Wednesday it is yeah, April 20 fourth. I am saving the company. I am invading the store.

They're coming. I made a deal with the Chinese government. We got it exported. We got sticks coming. The last drop in the RT store, the Andropant line to save the company. You can get your thumb sticks. Look at how fancy those thumb sticks are.

They got two sets of them. You can get a clogged tube It is coming to the market look at how beautiful it is it is there it is sideways it makes noise It's a grown tube. It's a plunger and last but not least because we're gonna need three products We're gonna save this goddamn company that I'm putting on my back here We're gonna save this goddamn company that I'm putting on my back here. We got the Andropan Bobblehead of me wearing a face of my face available 10am Central, the last merch drop. I'm gonna not save this company, but I'm gonna goddamn try. Are you fucking serious? When is this? This is coming out when? This is April 24th all of those releasing 10 a.m. I'm invading the store

There's gonna be banners of me all over the place. This is my shit. I'm bringing this company back Andrew is saving the company, but not saving it. It's dead, but I'm trying yeah I'm trying Someone should let wanna know I guess that the company's about to be saved Yeah, yeah I will tell them no when they get here next week. I'll let them know form them and I think that's probably the easiest way to do it, but you're

Look at these fucking sticks dude now the precision Precision so we are very limited on the number of sticks that we're selling very limited because it was insane to get them made but Hopefully there's enough clog tubes for everyone. How limited of the stick. There's not going to be yeah They are it's a very low number well Can we just say what the low number is or you? I don't. I don't remember offhand, but it was substantially lower. And it's one of the most collectible items that we've ever made. Well, that's terrible.

No one will know what to do. What are they going to do? Complain until we shut down. We're done. Gavin. This is it. Oh, this is Andrew's last. Yeah, you fool. This is it. This is it This is it this is all of it It is was well, we'll see we'll see how it goes. We might everyone be so mad It is heartbreaking a little heartbreaking to see the stuff that we had cooking, you know Oh, yeah, where I'm talking with merch stuff, because obviously we're continuing. The company may be ending, but the podcast will soar

to the heights of the most successful Falcons. But the merch is gonna take a hit in the interim. We're not gonna be able to invent clog tubes and shit immediately, probably. But Tony in a merch, or Ecom, he put together just a graphic that showed everything we made all the weird shit We made on face throughout the course of the podcast and it's so wild to see all the dumb wacky goofy

ridiculous Broken shit we made we should post that publicly because that is an insane mood board of like if you asked me at the beginning to even list what's on there, I wouldn't have a clue what half it is or how we came to sell it. You'd never be able to know how we got there, right? Like, yeah, it's crazy. We'll be sure to post it on social at some point. I'm glad this stuff's coming out. It's a bummer about those super limited numbers, but the fact that it's coming out at all. I thought the store was done.

I thought that they had closed up shop. All the items are gone from it. So the fact that there's going to be one last drop is a huge surprise to me. Last pant drop. Andrew Pant line. You know how it's more fair? Make it a literal drop. Make it a dead drop.

What is that? What do you mean? Bury it somewhere. Oh. Make it a dead drop. What is that? What do you mean? Bury it somewhere. Oh, I think we should that limited more business. We should do we should normalize dead drops, buying stuff online, telling people where to dig, dig up the money, put the thing in the hole. I'm all for this. I support this fully. I've always wanted to do a thing where we bury something

and ask to find it. I like this idea a lot. Although I don't know how you leave money in and not have the person just walk off with it. Maybe just maybe a slight threat like I'm watching you sort of thing. Well, for most humans, I would think that, yeah, it'd be a pretty big concern.

But for regulation listeners and commentleavers, they're top-tier humans. You know what I mean? Like, they're the cream of the crop. They're not gonna do anything non-regulation in a situation like this. That's fair. I would agree with that. The patent dead drop. I would also agree. The patent... Okay, here's what we're gonna do. Very much bring the company a live drop.

Is what it is. Here's what we're gonna do. Can we get one of those, one of each of those three items, Eric, so that we can take it somewhere in Austin and bury it and then figure out how to give the audience the coordinates to find it? Ooh. I'll get the items I don't want anything to do

with any of the rest of this. I don't like I don't like scaring the whole area. I don't like giving coordinates. I don't want the funny thing is you could give the coordinates to like the middle of a baseball field if you wanted to be carnage. Yeah. Yeah. I mean it is just I don't want anything to do. I'll get you the items, but that's it. Sounds good. It's all we need. Would you give me a ride to my burial spot? Where you're going to be buried, absolutely. I've determined that I only ever get a ride with Eric if we're about to do something weird. Oh yeah, because you rode over to the diner.

That was good, the jackhammer was there. We rode over the jackhammer that was good the jackhammer we run into jackhammer together We yeah, yeah, yeah, we moved we moved a couch We help move a couch very weird weird situations How did you get roped into moving somebody's couch? Yeah, I Really like I love helping people move and that may sound strange. Really? I hate moving my own stuff, but if it's other people's shit, love it. I'll do that all day. That's so interesting. I had to move a couch

recently into my storage unit and I just waited until Gavin was at my house and he couldn't leave and then I that makes sense Well, you originally you'd asked Eric so Eric went already Oh, yeah I was like I'll have two and then I arrived before Eric and we kind of did it before Eric even arrived You guys did I showed up and I guess I'll supervise good work. Yeah, get it in there Although the strange thing was when we were taking it to its next location You just decided to walk next to us instead of bringing all the

cushions, which I thought was a strange. I thought, you know, I'm supervising. I'm making sure it's all on the up and up, you know, great job. That whole job site went on, worked perfectly. I'm glad you like it. It's just as somebody who doesn't drive Gavin, it's wild to think that you got roped into moving He would just be so low on the list as someone who doesn't actively. Yeah, I took it in my head I took an uber to help someone move I Part of it might also be Andrew I make a point in my life of never asking anyone for anything not like never

But almost never so that on the rare rare rare Occasion where I can't figure it out on my own and I need help, people are so taken aback by the fact that I'm asking, they don't think to say no. Ah, that's a life pro tip for you. Never asking anyone for anything ever. So on the rare occasion when you actually need help, they'll be more, they'll be more confused that you asked then and they'll help. Do I have one of those banks with you then because I feel

Like I'm not a big asker either You have a I mean yeah, man you have a lifetime of those with me you used one not too long ago But you you have a lifetime of them a lifetime of them, okay If I mean if you get you can catch in a couch move Yeah, I owe you dude you can cash in daily if you want to I don't care Huh? Give anything that you're thinking about cashing in on Kevin. Well. It's definitely something to think about

Yeah, that was why I asked yeah, the answer was no But I appreciate you fan teed it up. You really styled that no Job man, that's what 15 years of podcasting at work there In those skills no I'd listen I'm impressed iron is sharp over there I could have you take over one of my hand job shifts from last week yeah yeah I guess I could I get that one a shift at the hand job but that was your whole that was your dream wasn't it hey every dream becomes a job if you do it wrong that's true have you ever dreamt you were at work just working?

Yeah. No, I have more dreams run back at school. I've never dreamt I was working. I've dreamt that I've I've been in UFC fights and those are terrible dreams. It's like somehow I've been signed up for this event and I'm like doing the walk out to the cage and I'm just going, I don't know how to fight.

How did I get here? Why is this happening to me? I love dreams where you just not be all the points where you could have pulled out. Yeah. But then I have to reverse that. I don't know if I talked about the show, but I have dreams where I'm trying to get home and I get like I go in the wrong boat or something. And then I realize I made a dream and that if I just wake up, I'll be in my bed and I'm fucked. That's the greatest feeling. It's so exciting.

Yeah. Like a safety teleport. Yeah. It's, it's the closest to teleporting. I think I'll ever get. Do you ever go on a killing spree right before you teleport? Um, I don't know if I've ever killed anyone in a dream. That's a really interesting question. I've definitely had to deal with the body in a dream. Yeah. Yeah. I dreamt I, I once dreamt that I killed Ray. I had to like hide it. I was really, might be the most relieved I've ever been to wake up. Oh yeah. Cause I don't even know how he died. I just had his body. I just, that made me think I did technically not a work dream, but I dreamt, uh, years ago,

before I even worked at achievement hunter in any capacity, I dreamt that I worked there and got fired on my first day. Cause I made a, an inappropriate joke. I wast that I worked there and got fired on my first day because I made an inappropriate joke. I was let go immediately. Was it from your joke book? No, wasn't that inappropriate? I don't even think it was inappropriate. I think it was something to do with like making a Nazi joke of some kind. And I was let go and the office was in the mall. Why would you even start to broach what the joke is on this podcast? I don't know. Because it wasn't an offensive.

I'm just saying the genre has something to do with with like Hitler, I think. I want to say. And then when we first did let's play, we did. We made a worms video. This is the first thing we did and I tried to name my worm baby Hitler And I had a flashback of my dream of am I gonna get fired on my first let's play Was I predicting the future?

But it got blocked out the name was a joke I've been Sorry, go ahead No, you go I was gonna say I've been having a series of recurring dreams lately I haven't mentioned you guys but since we're talking about him where I also wake up similarly relieved, but also kind of horrified Where do you remember a couple maybe a month ago now? I was eating a piece of Mike and Ike's and my fucking tooth fell out. Yes, of course.

And I had to go get my crown put back on. Pretty much since that day, I almost every night, I have a dream that I have to eat candy, like somebody's making me eat chewy candy and I don't want to and all my teeth fall out. And then I wake up, I have woke up with my hand at my mouth to catch my teeth coming out of my mouth a couple times. Oh, god. And it's the, I wake up I have woke up with my hand at my mouth to catch my teeth Coming out of my mouth a couple times and it's the I wake up horrified and then so instantly relieved that I still have all My teeth, but it takes me a second every day to sort suss out. What's going on?

Sucks oh Jesus Christ three Gracie just wrote about a dream bubblegum losing teeth rips all her teeth out of gum. Yeah, oh Well, I don't like any of that. It's a relief to still have teeth. But man, do you have to get there like getting to fear of people named Mike and Ike? Are they up on the intimidating list for you? Oddly, I think I think it's I if anything, it's improved the name Mike and Ike to me. I feel better about Mike and Ike as humans. I don't want to eat the candy anymore. I don't want to eat the candy anymore. I don't eat any candy anymore

I'm like I'm scared of all candy now, but which is probably a good thing, but uh Yeah, I know I just I just wish I didn't have these fucking dreams all the time. I've not come across a lot of Ike's No, neither of I I know who is Mike and Ike I just assume they made the candy you think Mike and Ike, I just assume they made the candy. You think Mike and Ike are real people? I assume so. They were. I don't know if you were.

Hey. Why did Mike and Ike, Mike and Ike broke up? Due to creative differences in the candy, Mike left to pursue a music career. Well, Ike pursued a career in art. What's going on with Mike and Ike. Are they at a reunion? Is Ike short for something? Ikel.

You think it's short for Ikel? You killed Joe. The legal documents when they started the business business it was Michael and Ikel. Oh my god. Well surely we can't call these candies Michael and Ikel. You've gotta change. They're a fucking what? It's Ikel!

No man, it's Ike now. I have no idea. What is that short for? I have no idea. No clue. Ike. You know what? I don't want to look it up. I want it to be short for Eichel.

I never understood the whole like, uh, Hank being Henry and John being Jack or Jack. I just don't know how one name could be another name. Always confuse me. Eichel. We're going to keep with Eichel. I looked up the answer. We're gonna keep with Ikel. Oh, you know definitely Ikel. Oh Man, I bet the real answer sucks, huh? It does so that's why we're Do you ever I had a weird thought the other day are you ever relieved that you Speak English over a different language, but that's what you were taught I know I was looking at she has in Canada a lot of things have English and French on them And I was I learned a little bit of French, but not a lot

This is the English word relief this is the French word for relief It's so much more complicated. I was really good at spelling in school And I just I don't think I would have been in a different language. That is so much more work for the same work I feel like Germany over indexes in that German words are very long. I

I have words are very long. I just I had never considered that a US spelling champion less impressive to me than like a French spelling champion. I think English is probably the easiest language to be a smelling cheap. I mean, I don't know. I think part of the problem with English, it seems intuitive to you because you know it, but it's a mismatch. Oh, yeah. Styles and rules and other languages and words that contradict each other.

And so I think it probably doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense to try to sit down and learn it. And so I wonder if you would learn the rules of the length of another language and it would just be honestly a better built language. It might it might actually make it a lot easier. I don't know. I've always wondered that it's definitely built better. I assume I know English is a mess, but it's just purely on a level of memories Memorization of letters it is easy. I found this German word that apparently means Insurance company that provides legal protection

It's a it is R ECHTS s h utz Vrs, I see a tear You and she is Gese l l s ha f te how do they do business carts? I'm a fan of any word that ends in Shafton to be honest Shafton's good Have you ever put that word into Google Gavin and tried to hear how they would translate it oh That's a good call. It's good cool cuz it it always

It sounds terrible in English. I can't imagine that We're shopper sure Rich the shisha for sure I found a video next like Nick Nick's like a baby. I just make funny noises and he kills him rich Little baby down there No, don't know Don't you cross the line wow it said real quick in German all right say it like I just I can't I Mean the job is copy what it you just heard it just copy you just heard it

You say would be a fucking it's no it's hard. I'm just look at this. It's harder than it looks oh Shit, what's that? Is that the real link? It's it's a Google link. What are you doing? Google says it then you say it Why I mean you both weren't showing up, so I couldn't quite hear it, but I didn't say fucking anything Why are you sending me a video that's a minute long? I don't know why it's a minute long I don't know why the guy made it a minute long. Gavin... so you can monetize it. Gavin is right. He says it so fast.

And then to have to repeat that, no fucking shot. Everybody shut up for three seconds. Rit... Rit... show... show full stretch. I Should say she'll go to the session rich Rich Rich Rich Rich Rich

Rich Rich Rich Rich Rich Rich I also need like legal advice. Oh, I see you definitely want to go check out Rechefersfashtfashtfashtncheftn I mean with this in your Hitler joke you're Going full offense. No, I'm just saying the word Are you saying it?

I am yeah according to Google If it's wrong, it's Google's fault. It's not my fault. Jeff did you get ears on it? I I you guys are talking hold on if you quiet right now Okay, hold on Yeah, red scoops if I was to go into good fashion Easy easy, I didn't realize the Swedish chef spoke German is what I've learned from this Does it sounds very Swedish chef-ish. Chef-ish. Jeff-ish.

Swedish Jeff. The Swedish Jeff! Swedish Jeff! Jeff, say that German word again. Swedish Jeff. I like Swedish Jeff a lot. Speaking of Swedish Jeff, I've been having an idea. And I don't know how to bring it up with you guys

because I don't know how it'll affect the podcast. I wanna see what you guys, maybe we can come up with some creative solutions for it. It's been nagging at me for a couple weeks now. And it's not going away. I haven't talked about it with anybody yet. But I've been lately feeling very taciturn in general and Fuck you're feeling what?

Like germane and Like brief and short and not not wanting to be Not like the word used It's a fucking perfectly normal word taciturn. I don't understand what your problem. Yeah So normal and I fucking I gotta start a podcast It's a shame Bernie was so annoying cuz at least he had a fucking vocabulary anyway I've been thinking I see just saying it's not normal. It's totally normal. Understand words.

Oh my God. Anyway, I've been thinking about, I'm just really driving it home to me right now. For the last couple of weeks, I've been thinking, I've had a strong urge to take a vow of silence. Oh. You think. For how long?

I don't know. Yeah, that could affect the podcast. I know. So, you know, the thing that we're about to go do, you think that now is the time for that? Yeah, I think. No, I don't think it is. I think I'm going to have to figure it out. And I think it could be complicated.

But I'm I'm having an intense desire to not speak out loud at all to anyone ever. So you yourself would be taciturn? Well I think I'm fairly taciturn as it is the last six months or so, but it's just progressing to the, I feel like it's leading somewhere. And I just like, I just want to, I've been thinking a lot about monks and how they just don't talk for an undefined period of time and just like until, and I just, I don't know, there's something appealing in that to me. I've done that.

How long? Yeah, you did. Oh, you did, you did for years. Yeah. Oh yeah. period of time and just like until I just I don't know there's something appealing in that to me. I've done that Yeah, how long yeah you did oh you did you for years yeah, I don't recommend it But you talked outside of school right yeah a little bit yeah a little bit I Feel like it might be different for me at 48 than it was for you at six. It would completely end most things in your life. I mean, we come up with clever ways to communicate. Like, what if I had a really robust soundboard of things I've already said? You're communicating. You're just making it harder. Yeah, that's just saying that's what are you, Andrew?

Like, that seems like an Andrew. Yeah, yeah, it does. So be like, Jeff, what do you want for lunch? Well, yeah, if I hit the wrong button. You know, it's so stupid. So stupid. Clearly, clearly, it's clearly the podcast is my priority over my own personal mental health, but and well-being but I I'm hoping we can come up with some sort of creative solution here. Maybe I just don't talk 23 hours a day

Yeah, or six days a week. Oh, but then one day I talk like on Thursdays I'm Emily what is stop talking to Emily talk to us. I've stopped talking to most people What if you run you just operate like an old electric meter. We put some money in and then we buy ourselves 40 minutes of talk. Oh, well, that's interesting. Like you want like like say like you wanted to look at the Empire State building or or yeah, the Golden Gate Bridge from. Yeah, interesting. Yeah, just put a little coin slot somewhere on you

I have two I have two thoughts chef one We do a supplemental quiet cast This is just silence see how long before anyone is willing to speak. I think some people would fold over time Yeah, uh second thing maybe we go into a court, maybe we do like a day of silence going into recording to see how it feels. I'm willing to not talk to anybody for a day. Take a full day of silence. We don't take a 24 hours up to 24 hours.

We start the podcast. Now that's interesting. That's interesting to me. And we're all coming into it on the even footing. That sounds so easy. Well, I am Yeah, I don't I don't think this will be tough I don't think this will change anything but I'm willing to do it with you

I feel like though everyone is gonna need to do it including Eric Nick and Gracie. Of course I don't think that that's no, I'm no No, okay. Never mind. Everyone seems on board. I just assumed people wouldn't be on board. Well course they were forced Eric can't do his job Right I mean yeah, cuz you lost it With a bobblehead and a plunger we're fine The company is in the shit, so I got the plunger coming and clear out of there Sneak on through it's also not something I have to do today. Maybe that'll be what I do after I retire

Or maybe I'll take a vacation and have a quiet vacation But I like the idea of us trying it out for like a period of time altogether Yeah, I wonder if it'll have I see hot on the ear effects on the podcast I also wonder. We didn't do it. Balls. Yeah.

Do you think that? I did both. Do you think if you took an extended vow of silence, you could really zone in by putting icy hot on your balls and staying silent like you'd really like hone in on the silence? No, it would just be desk punch. No. Yeah. I think I think I

Elevated silence no you don't okay. I don't think that Maybe that's advanced. Maybe we let's walk before we run okay. Well we need to wrap this one up We only have a few of these left, so I really feel like you guys should leave people with something like really strong here Could you walk on icy hot? What do you mean? If the floor was icy hot, would it would it hurt? Yeah, I want to let we got to do that. I feel like the bottoms of my feet are very resistant.

Do you think you taste the icy hot like garlic? Oh, you'd be putting so much, like you rub Icy Hot on your arm and then it's slowly like, I don't know, it permeates into the skin. But if you were standing on it, you'd have all the weight of you pushing down on the Icy Hot, compressing it and forcing it into you.

And you'd be surrounded by, I bet maybe we should do an Icy Hot foot bag foot race. What about an Icy hot slip and slide? Oh, God, that would be fucking. Andrew, first off, Gavin, yes, yes. Andrew, yes. We need to have the icy hot summer games where we just do shit in somebody's backyard,

but it's all icy hot. How much money's worth of icy hot are we is there to buy for a slip and slide? We're gonna need to get a sponsorship. I wish that there was just icy. Icy hot, if you're listening to this, get after us. Let us know. Yeah, or Tiger Balm, or Cyliderm, or any of the other companies that make them. Yeah, Ciliderm.

I don't know, I made that up. Hey, Ciliderm, if you're listening to this. Derma ice or. And if we don't reply for a day, we were just in a vow of silence. Yeah. Okay, wrap this up, we gotta go. All right, yeah, everybody's gonna leave.

You're gonna leave with something important you said, Eric? So. We gotta go. All right. Yeah, everybody's gonna leave you're gonna leave with a Something important you said Eric, so I'll go first You are going to leave people with something important because we only have a few of these left So go ahead here. We go and then somebody just go after me You gotta go and then someone else will go That was it I I gave the gift of silence. Pretty taciturn of you. Thank you.

Nick has to edit all that, like the sound effects in. They're like not in the recording. Who did the drum? Is that Chris? They're like not in the record Hey guys major league fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of face We are nearing the end and still trying to catch up, so here are some predictions for next week's episode. Andrew can't take it anymore. Jeff has yet another house problem. Gavin is planning a trip back to Sloppy Joe's.

The boys have to change their name. Eric wants them to finish on time. For real this time. Nick isn't wearing the mask. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F***face.