F**kface - The Late Night Episode // Very Different Days [93]
Episode Date: March 9, 2022Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Gavin in a bad mood, Geoff's new bike, how many things Andrew wrote, being excited to go to bed, using 9 instead of g, and Andrew's Candle Air Freshener remnants. I...f you want to send your towel cards in, send to: Infinity Towel, 1901 e. 51st st, Austin, TX 78723 Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to ffacebits@gmail.com Sponsored by HelloTushy (http://hellotushy.com/face), ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/face), and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face16 + code face16). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Dragon's Dogma 2, the highly anticipated successor to the cult classic Dragon's Dogma,
is out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series S and X, and Steam.
Dragon's Dogma 2 is a third-person action RPG boasting a richly detailed and deeply
explorable fantasy world created using Capcom's RE Engine's immersive physics,
groundbreaking character AI systems, and cutting-edge graphics.
Dive into the vast and dynamic world where The Arisen is called upon to fulfill a forgotten
destiny across the nations of Vermont, the Kingdom of Humanity, and Batal, the nation
of Beastrin.
Dragon's Dogma 2 revolves entirely around choice.
Your choice, that is.
From the sword and shield-wielding fighter to fighter to the illusion conjuring trickster, there are over 10 unique vocations to choose from that all require experience to unlock new skills.
And character customization is out of this world, literally. Oh, and did I mention the combat is
really in-depth? It isn't just hacking at a giant's ankle for half an hour while your dodge
roll attacks. You can engage enemies from a distance, climb up large foes, stab them in This is a Rooster Teeth production.
Gav, you want to start five minutes early so we can be done five minutes sooner?
Yeah, that's the stupidest idea ever.
What a bunch of dumb idiots what what dumb mainly me who
hello and welcome to another episode of the
podcast my name is jeff ramsey and with me as always, Gavin Free and Andrew Patton. And Gavin, you are correct.
This was a terrible, terrible, terrible idea.
Dude, episode 92 feels like a week ago.
How have you guys been these last 13 hours?
Andrew is delirious.
I'm great.
This is awesome.
Did you get to sleep at all, Andrew?
We can talk about that later.
Did you get asleep at 2, Andrew?
We can talk about that later.
I don't think I'm delirious.
I'm just more the joy of... I don't think I've ever, without a doubt,
heard Gavin be annoyed.
Yes.
Yes.
We don't have to fake it.
Gavin, you sound like you're in a bad mood.
I'm in a bad mood
I'm in a shitty little
Shit mood
What do you attribute that to?
Well I've been filming all day
And I get home from these
Little filming sessions
And let's be fair
I'm out of practice
I haven't been filming with Dan
In like two years
We're hitting it hard
We're back at it I'm out of practice. I haven't been filming with Dan in like two years. We hit it hard. We're back at it.
I got home about nine 30 and I ate food and I was falling asleep.
Like over my bowl.
I was,
I was so tired.
I thought,
wow,
I don't think I've been this tired so early in two years.
Like this could be the night that I get an early night,
reset my entire sleep system and i
just i'm just staring at the stupid calendar invite that's over like almost two hours away
and i'm just staying up killing time waiting for time to pass so i could do this and then freaking
go to bed so i can wake up early and do it again tomorrow so So why are we this time? Like, I know why the premise of the early show,
because I thought it was really funny.
Yeah.
Well, it is.
We have, for the audience,
just in case you didn't listen to the last episode,
we needed to cram a bunch of episodes in
before Gavin went out of town.
So we got into a fight,
and we ended up, for some reason,
agreeing to record two episodes in one day
but one of them had to be at early in the morning and the other one had to be at the end of the day
so we recorded one at 8 a.m our time and then one at 11 p.m on our time and then we all worked full
days except for andrew who had to write 20 000 things today also gavin could i just commiserate with you? I, you know, today was my first my first covid free day.
Right.
I tested negative finally.
Yeah.
I haven't slept with my girlfriend in 14 days in the same bed.
Yeah.
In the same bed as well.
I'm not.
Yeah, I'm not getting I'm not talking.
I'm not trying to talk like sex talk.
I just mean I haven't been in the same room with her.
We haven't we haven't spent any time.
I know what you meant, because if you meant sex,
you would have said boned.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've been slept.
I haven't slept in my own bed in like 14 days.
I've been in a spare bedroom.
And so tonight was the night,
and I just went to say goodnight to her,
and then she was like, come on, get in bed.
And I was like, boy, wouldn't I love to.
Instead, I'm going to go spend the next hour and a half
with assholes.
love to. Instead, I'm going to go spend the next hour and a half with
assholes.
By the time I get to bed, she and Henry
are going to be having a snoring contest, and I'll
just be like...
Did the filming at least go well?
Yeah, it went pretty well. Blew up
a lot of capacitors and stuff.
What's really annoying is that Dan went to sleep
immediately.
I was just kicking around.
I opened mail.
That's how bored I was, just waiting.
What do you mean you opened mail?
I open mail like once every six to nine months.
Just this big pile.
Really?
Yeah, I just try and get through some of it.
It's all trash.
Like, it's not for me.
It's just garbage.
There's nothing good in your mail pile?
Well, yeah.
Occasionally there's something that's actual mail,
but mostly it's just spam and crap.
Mr. Free, you are seven months late on paying this bill.
He pays bills with post.
I'm online.
What was the best piece of mail you opened
that you could talk about?
Any good coupons?
Any great expired coupons?
I got a new card,
a new card that expired about three months ago,
so I can put that in my wallet.
That's great.
I got the flag today.
I got the Boys of Zimmer flag arrived finally.
Not the Algerian flag?
Not the Algerian flag.
Or the Albanian.
Oh, Albanian flag?
Yeah, that was Eric's.
Yeah, Eric liked the Albanian flag.
Although, I don't know, is it technically a flag? Because it doesn was Eric's. Yeah, Eric liked the Albany flag.
Although, I don't know, is it technically a flag?
Because it doesn't, if you hang it like a flag, it's position wrong.
So is it still a flag?
Yes.
What do you mean? Okay.
Well, I'm saying if you were to hang it like a flag.
Just say yes, it doesn't matter.
Yes, it's still a flag.
I'm just, I didn't.
Yes.
Isn't it a banner?
Okay.
What's the difference between a banner and a flag? they the same I well now I got a Google hold on
I'm just curious uh I was watching the Lakers get their fucking asses kicked
let me turn that off okay difference between a flag and a banner. I'm doing this at 1130 at night.
So don't give a shit.
Andrew, you might be on to something, my friend.
Flags are usually flown on a flagpole
or at a 45-degree angle from the side of a structure.
Banners have a pole sleeve him on the top.
The flag slips over the pole.
Banners are displayed at a 90 degree angle.
So we're selling banners.
We're selling banners.
We're not actually selling flags.
Don't put this on a pole.
Hang it from the side of your castle.
Do not.
You can only hang it from the top of the TD Garden
like it's a Blurry Birds number.
45 degree?
Yeah.
Oh, the pole is 45.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay. It's like, who's got a wonky flag? 45 degree? Yeah Oh the pole is 45 Yeah Oh okay
That's like who's got a wonky flag?
I don't know when I should get into this list thing
Let's get into the
Oh hold on
Before we do that though
I want to find out what Eric and Nick have been up to for the last day
That's a great question
I had face jam so face jam
Nick also had face jam
That's all you did today?
I mean I had other meetings and stuff but it was Huh Yeah face jam. Nick also had face jam. That's what you did today? I mean, I had other meetings and stuff, but it was
face jam.
Decent. Alright.
Sweet. Oh, Nick's sick. Oh, yeah.
Nick's a dad. Baby, baby, baby, baby.
I did something
today. What did you do? Was it tooth
related? No.
Well, I did tell them that about...
Today was a rollercoaster
of pain, and I had a, today was a roller coaster of pain.
And I hit a real, I think you really want to hear, we were doing pleasantries earlier.
I hit a, I hit a, I hit a low point today at about two in the afternoon where I wanted to knock my tooth out with an ice skate, like in Castaway.
But I fucking fought through it.
And then I was fine after that for a little while it just
like it came in waves it just decided to be particularly painful for about a half hour
uh i went to the store today now that i can leave the house again and uh i uh i bought a new bicycle
what yeah just like a normal bike or dude. I bought a new e-bike.
Okay.
Another exploding battery bike.
No, this one, it's not going to explode. I spent enough money that it will never explode.
And it was a ridiculous...
I spent like refrigerator money on this thing.
And I don't get it till May.
Till end of May because of supply chain issues.
But when I do get it...
Did you buy it from Westo?
Yeah. Sorry, Schmestel? May till end of May because of supply chain issues but when I do get it yeah
sorry
Schmestmel
Schmestmel no I bought a from
a company called Trek
and I yeah but it's
got like 140 mile range
on it and they swear to me it'll never
break down so
I don't know if they can make that guarantee
I said fuck it at 30 at 4 36 what
46 years old i deserve it especially all the the hell that i've been going through with my other
i've been going through so much hell on my other e-bike i lost 10 years of my life somehow
for a minute there uh at 46 years old i deserve to splurge a little bit most dudes buy like
motorcycles or rvs or convertibles
of this age i spent convertible money on a bicycle so what makes this bike so much better than the
last one you had well outside of the fact it won't explode apparently it's got a it's got a
bosch engine in it uh like uh that's way more powerful and way sturdier than the one I have. It's the battery capacity is six times as large.
It's carbon fiber, so it's lighter than my bike.
And it's got like these top of the line Shimano brakes
and really, really nice gear system.
It's like top, everything top of the line.
So top of the line, but I can't have it for like five months.
Are you excited?
Yeah, someday.
I hope I still want it in five months.
Well, I think you will because it's your gateway to happiness.
It's going to be my gateway to happiness, yeah.
So I just have to suffer through the other one.
I can't wait to hear about the first trip.
Same, same.
Something is going to...
Go ahead.
You go ahead. How about that? No, I was just going to say about the first trip. Same. Same. Go ahead. You go ahead.
How about that?
No, I was just going to say.
That was, that was weird.
You read it, isn't it?
And it was strangely like, you know what?
Fuck you.
That was doing like polite, but with confidence.
Yeah.
No, it didn't come across as confidence.
It came across as aggression.
It did not.
It didn't come across as polite either.
I've lost all my fluff.
I don't even remember what I was going to ask now.
I was so taken aback by your...
No, you go ahead.
It was authoritative.
That's what that was.
You go.
Because I don't remember.
I genuinely don't remember what I was going to ask.
I genuinely don't remember what I was going to say either.
Boy, did we
face ourselves today.
Oh no. What was I gonna say?
Oh, delirious.
Is this about the bike, probably?
I think I was gonna ask. Yeah, probably.
First trip.
I remembered. Did we ever talk about
Jeff's real bike that he got
one time when I still lived with him?
I don't think so.
He went out and got a new bike and he brought it back and I was like, yeah, he
was telling me about his bike.
He's like, oh, nice new bike, shiny.
And I was like, I was like, huh, a bit on the nose with the, the color scheme, black
and green, right?
Achievement Hunter.
And Jeff was like, oh.
And he just stared.
It was just like, oh, shit.
And that was the last time I rode that bike.
After a few years, I gave it away.
It was like an 800-tola Achievement Hunter bike, basically.
After I saw it, I could never get on it again.
It was so god damn offensively
on the nose I looked like
I was driving a billboard
for my fucking website around
took about a thousand yards
that was a nice bike too
probably somewhere what color is this bike
that you just bought you know yeah
you didn't
do it again did you yeah it's uh it's it's green with black accents no no no it's like a kind of
like a gunmetal like a carbon fiber color it's kind of like a grayish oh that sounds cool yeah
it's nice i think gunmetal might be on my list that's the thing that is the thing all right so thank you we can keep shooting
i think it's okay to keep shooting you're not still adding to it are you uh i i may have uh
i may have added uh what did i add you said jeff said i gotta scroll for a minute you said jeff said
bosh jeff said bosh and that's the that's the name of a tv show on amazon that's the thing
i forgot about that put on the list smelling it without the c uh yeah well i'm just smelling the
name of the show it just made me hearing bosh made me think of but you could also put in bosh
like the company i don't oh yeah i guess I could. I just thought of the
show. Thanks, Gavin.
Add to the list.
That's my new bike
someday. Oh,
damn. Pretty, huh? Yeah.
So, yeah, we've
gone through what we've all been doing. Andrew,
how was your last 14 hours?
Yeah, because you couldn't, you
didn't sleep last night
because you were scared you were going to oversleep
and miss the morning podcast.
So you've just been up for like 400 hours.
So I'm going to copy and paste this.
Unfortunately, what I use,
the numbers do not come with the document.
I'd have to export the document, I think.
But I thought you used to google doc we
can see numbers no no i didn't end up using a google doc and i went i did something else why
i use eric's already bad because i could i okay this is why when i hit enter on this one it goes
to the next number automatically it already writes it that's what you figured that'd be
that's what i want and that... I figured would be a big time
saver, so that's why I did it on this and not
the Google Doc. I don't think... That's what Google Doc can do.
It's just a list. You just start a list.
Well, wait. Wait a second. How do I...
Let me go back to it. Let me go back
to the one I made earlier. Oh. Titled
spreadsheet. He's gonna delete it. No.
I'm not gonna delete it. So I have Vin Diesel
chimpanzee spelled with a J. Let's try this.
What's a thing? Somebody name a thing. Banana. banana banana? Okay? Well my computer has to load. Oh my god
Okay, here. We go ba na na Eric and Nick could go get it in the chat with things
Okay
Okay, this was listen, that's my mistake.
That is my mistake.
I didn't know the spreadsheet worked that way.
Oh my, we told you.
It was, no, you told me in the blitz. You told me when I was blitzed and I was caught off guard.
Eric, did you tell him?
100% said what to do, what to click, how to do it, and what the expectation was.
What was very early for me eric was also like let's be very clear i remember that part i'm gonna over explain this so there's
no confusion because because it's not over explaining on this fucking show it's explaining
the regulation amount what if if I screenshot this?
Copy and paste it, and it will insert new numbers for you, maybe.
Okay.
How would I do that?
What do you mean?
Copy?
Yeah, I understand.
Copy and paste what to where?
To the...
I don't think it would make new numbers.
I think it would just be one giant thing if I moved to spreadsheet.
We're just going to copy and paste.
We're going to start here.
We'll do my first 40.
You can tell me what you think.
Tell me what you think of this first 40.
40 out of 20,000.
So we're going to do 20,000 in increments of 40.
Here we go.
This is 40.
Oh.
This is the first 40.
Okay.
We started with Vin Diesel.
As you should. Vin Diesel. I felt like i did pretty good with vin diesel movies i felt like i stretched vin diesel pretty
far vin diesel triple x knock around guys saving private ryan triple x2 you went back to triple x
i like it after two movies dude back in triple x He's just going in order. I think he fucking did MTV Movie Awards.
That's a Vin Diesel thing.
Vin Diesel's connected to the agency.
Ageist Wing.
You're doing video games, too?
Did he voice act?
So this is what happened.
This is as soon as we...
You can't just paste his IMDb.
No, I didn't.
I wrote everything.
All of the Vin Diesel's from memory.
Wow.
I'm impressed. All vin diesel things from memory so you remembered something called three on three freestyle from memory no
listen this is what happened we're gonna get there so i remembered up until fast and furious
because there's two of us right uh okay so there's a bunch of them but i couldn't remember the subtitle for the video game
so i went into i own it though so i opened up my games library and all of the next like 700
are all the games in my digital games library for xbox that's what these all are 303 freestyle
6180 in the moon nine monkeys of shallow and freshly frosted prototype age of swing agatha christie the abc murders because i i figured i'm
not googling i'm not breaking that rule and it's i didn't think that it was any different than me
like going into a library and looking at titles age of booty is actually a good game eric it's a
it's a top-down pirate game it was was actually developed in Austin. Yeah, it's a pretty popular game.
Yeah.
So the next...
How do I...
Hmm.
What was that?
45?
Well, I don't know,
because there's no numbers on it.
Where are we at?
Alan Wake's American Nightmare.
So you need...
We have 19,900...
So let's go.
Let's see if we can go...
Because there's a...
60 to go.
There's a limit on Discord
for how many characters you can put in a message. So let's go. If's see if we can go. Because there's a... 60 to go. There's a limit on Discord for how many characters you can put in a message.
So let's go.
If only we had a live document we could all look at, if only.
Let's try to go 100.
If only we'd set the expectation clearly.
Let's put 100.
Bam!
There we go.
Now we're at 100.
It's just all of your games.
This is 100, right here.
Okay.
You got Beyond Good and Evil.
You got Bioshohock we're at b
we've gone from a to borderlands and then you've got but you've like you've got back for blood
banjo kazooie nuts and bolts in the same line astroneer captain spirit wait wait what's banjo
kazooie what's najo tooey give me a second okay listen. There's some imperfections in this list.
There's some spelling errors.
Is this supposed to be Times or Tui?
Times or Tui.
Where is it?
Yeah, it is.
It looks like Naho Tui.
So now we've gone to the next 100.
This is 100 more games.
Now.
Eric's wants out.
There's a game called Dullnut County.
It's a great game. It's reverse. It's like reverse Katamari. it's a great game it's reverse it's like reverse katamari yeah it's a great game uh no this is jack's gonna love this he's gonna think it's great i can't wait
to see jack's view of this list so at this point demon souls no i never i don't well that's a
playstation right or was that on xbox are you exclusive xbox here i was just yeah mainly xbox uh so at this point this is where we encountered an issue this is when i fell asleep
at my desk this was this is a great fall in the list i i may have greatly overestimated
the time the time it takes to both write things as well as doing it on no sleep.
So this is the list.
The list doesn't
stop there.
We still got...
How many things do you think I named?
Out of 20,000, how many?
At any point, were you just
sat there thinking of things, though?
Yes. Absolutely.
I don't think you made it to 1,000.
I think you named 640 things.
Well, here's another 100, so we're at 300 at this point.
Just ignoring Nick and Eric.
NHL 16, NHL 17, NHL 18. Final Fantasy 1 1 through 13 but here's the thing right you may have you may
only own nhl 16 through 21 but there were surely nhl games way before that you could have just put
in yeah but these so there were times where i knew there were more that happens a lot but i
couldn't remember their names and i didn't want to Google it.
I felt that was against the competition.
I like the beginning of this part.
So I only put once.
You've got Doom, and then next to it, you've got Doom.
Because that's not the reboot of Doom.
No, I didn't include the movie, because I'm a fucking idiot.
That's the reboot of Doom was called Doom.
But we talked about this, Andrew.
Yeah, we did.
You have to have a bracket.
You have to have parentheses explaining the difference.
Otherwise, you could have just written doom, doom, doom.
It's three different things.
Well, I figured we clarified in this moment
and that we were all good.
It didn't need the bracket.
I didn't have a lot of time.
I figured, here's another hundred.
Another hundred for you to peruse.
It's got Final Fantasy 2, 1 through 13.
I can tell that he wrote...
I think there will be people who go,
oh, I think he just copied and pasted this.
Look at Just Cause.
Just Cause, Just Cause 2,
Just Cause 3,
Just Cause 4.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
This is amazing.
We've got to post this list online somewhere.
So let me analyze let me analyze just that's a game pass game very meditative okay we still have to get you to no matter how many you did you still have to read it out loud so we
can release it no the just cause happened that was a fuck you to all the people that think i
made up the not knowing the shift key and the caps locks thing that is the exact issue I've talked about where I miss hit when
it was supposed to be up and what was supposed to be down Kingdom for
Kathleen's I forgot about that game another another hundred in here well a that's a lot of Mega Man love Metal Gear Solid love Mortal Kombat oh god
NBA
2K11
2K11
through 16
in 2016
you switch from NBA
to NHL games
oh this is amazing.
What else you got?
What else you got, buddy?
Yeah, okay.
We're moving in.
We're moving into 600.
I'm sorry.
This is taking.
I thought it would be the numbers would copy and paste with this.
It does not.
We're going in another 100 at a time.
100 more things that I named that are things.
NHL02 to NHL20. What was the other one again? Was things. NHL 02 to
NHL 20. What was the other one again?
Was it not NHL? What was the...
Oh, did I double down on NHL?
Oh, Andrew, you did. Yeah.
NHL 16, 17, 18, 19,
20, 21. Okay, well, so we could
subtract. We got a minus
five. We're taking out a doom in five
NHL games. No, no, the doom is
fine because they're different things.
You've got Overcooked in there twice.
Where's Overcooked?
It's the chance list of the world.
Look at Overcooked.
I think you meant Overcooked 2, but you didn't put 2.
I did.
I did.
I forgot the 2 on Overcooked 2.
Strike one of those.
No, we don't need to strike it.
It's just clarified.
We got minus 5 right now.
Somebody needs to remember.
When Andrew has to read this
list if we release it it's just gonna be andrew saying names of video games i didn't even know
think that he could get he could probably get close to 20 000 in his own video game collection
no i went through my entire video game collection we're coming up on the end of the video games
drop another uh another
hundred in here for you i said you got some more some more coming at you some more hot games sniper
elite through four solitaire classic game who doesn't love solitaire oh ruby thanks man yeah
of course great game yeah say it's right get out of hell is that a separate game uh yeah it is it was
like dlc side game i thought it was just dlc it had its own icon so i'm assuming it's its own
dlc is the thing that's a good point we're not listing games here we're listing things yeah
okay so we're almost wow i had more games so we got like a hundred more games and then we've gone
out of game territory i'm really excited to get to just the things you're thinking of
so that's where it becomes a difficulty because i i fell asleep i passed out
how long were you asleep for uh about five hours
i fell asleep at my desk like head on the desk like head on the desk for five hours
I woke up I used the bathroom
we've had such different days
like you finished the test early
and the teacher told you to put your head on your desk and be quiet
so I was cruising
and I thought you know what
I just I shut down
I just shut down I don't even remember falling asleep
but I woke up I woke up.
I woke up five hours later, got a drink, used the bathroom, fell back asleep for three more
hours.
It really, really ate into my clock.
So, okay.
So that's five hours plus three hours.
Eight hours.
What was the total?
The total was 13.
I think it was like 14 hours.
So we're subtracting 8 from 14.
So we're almost done with the games.
Do the next 100.
Okay, so now we have left the games officially at this next 100.
We can really analyze.
You can tell me what you think, where you go, where my brain went.
You can see some of these have connections.
Some of them do not.
where my brain went.
You can see some of these have connections.
Some of them do not.
So we wrap up the games and the very first thing is Vancouver,
Child Kicker.
Nice.
Three things.
Yeah, because I have the koozie on my desk.
Yeah.
As soon as it's done.
Is it your Kaiser Soze moment?
I like that you've gone from games to,
you can't pluck anything out of your brain.
You're already staring around the room for inspiration.
Barbecue sauce, ketchup,
mustard, ranch, mayo.
Disney Channel.
Disney Parks.
Disney Company. Those are all
separate things. Packages.
Flags. Oh, you should have put banners.
Ranked Games.
Shibata Bread.
Johnny Bravo. How do you make, Johnny Bravo, Dexter Lab,
Scooby Doo, Teen Titan,
oh my god, Doug,
Video Games, Board Games,
Pass,
Rainbow,
Rainbow,
this one,
Orange, Plum, Great,
Bananas, Luke Skywalker,
Liam Neeson, Michael Baskin, This one, orange, plum, great, bananas, Luke Skywalker.
Liam Neeson.
Michael Fassbender.
Troy Aikman.
This is like, you get inspiration in a new direction.
You'll be like, oh, fruit.
You'll do like three fruit and then move on to something completely different.
It's so scatterbrained.
I love it.
So this is what happened with Liam Neeson.
I wasn't confident I would know how to spell Qui-Gon Jinn,
so I just went Liam Neeson.
Didn't trust it.
Oh, you had a run of Kennys.
I did have a run of Kennys. Kenny Rogers, Kenny Loggins, Kenny Powers, Kenny Hotts,
Kenny from South Park, Kung Fu Kenny.
Great Kenny.
Did you rush our reference?
Bring it back to Jackie Chan.
Okay, so now we'll do the next hundred.
Once again, none of these are video games.
Yeah, is that Rumors the Album or Rumors the Thing?
Rumors the Th-album. We'll say the album. Okay. We'll go with the album or rumors the thing? Rumors the album. We'll say the album.
Okay.
So this is
the last
of the list.
This is the end of your list?
This is the end of the list.
You suck.
That's so bad.
You went back to video games
for a while.
Bruce Lee's Kirby games
Bayonetta Bayonetta 2 Bayonetta 3
characters
Games did those are games from Skyfox online remastered to Chris Pratt?
Sinking Super Mario movie Oh
Keegan-Michael Key.
Jack Black. These are all voice actors on Mario movie.
Taylor Joy.
Garlic bread.
Then garlic bread in the middle.
Filet-O-Fish.
Paprika.
Indiana.
You could have just done all the states.
That's a free 50.
I love this part.
Rosemary, thyme, cherries, Nelly.
Jaw rule, Regis Philbin.
Can I ask how you got devil satanic symbols Tristan Thompson?
Tristan Thompson I was thinking about the trade deadline on Thursday
Is this traded?
Gerbil's a thing
Gerbil's definitely a thing
So I may have had some burger confidence in this
I may have greatly overestimated
I may have fell asleep at my desk
Eating up most of my time
My grand total.
You still had...
Basically, if you subtract eight hours from your time,
you went from having to do 29 a minute to 55 a minute.
Yeah, I'm not that fast.
But you still had...
I feel like you still wasted all of the hours that you were awake.
What do you mean I wasted?
What do you mean? I thought the video that you were awake what do you mean i wasted i i what do you
mean i thought the video game library idea was a great plan yeah but almost took me to a thousand
what no when you leave the video game library that's where it becomes a problem because i
can't remember did i talk about john hughes previously did i talk about satanism did i
talk about tristan thom It becomes difficult. But this is
my commitment because I lost this by a lot.
I was
just 19,000
shy. I'm gonna
keep up with this list of things.
I will name 20,000 things
and we'll just see how long it takes.
So how many is on this list?
1,009
that's not subtracting the five NHL duplicates.
So 1,004.
I was just a slight 19,000 short.
You've written gun the video game,
and then below that you've written a gun.
Yeah.
You wrote Macho Man and Randy Savage as two different things.
Different things.
Yeah.
One's the character, one's the human, I'm guessing.
I like that you wrote Al Horford and then Brick.
I don't know if that's a dig at Al Horford.
No, it wasn't.
I just immediately thought of the movie Brick.
Okay.
And then the song Brick.
So if you had a progress bar of what you tried to achieve today and what you actually did,
it would be at 5%.
Yeah.
Well, you know, it takes this is, as we said, going in, we didn't know how difficult this
would be.
This is very difficult.
I'm happy with the list I have.
I'm going to continue to build off this list.
I will do 20,000 things and we'll just see how it goes. I think, well, I'm not even going to build off this list. I will do 20,000 things. And we'll just see how it goes.
Well, I'm not even going to set a timeline.
That'd be dumb of me to declare when this will be done.
But I am going to be actively working on this list.
And I'll let you guys know when I have 20,000 things.
And then I'll read it out.
Or am I reading out the 1,000?
I think it'd be funny to have like a six hour.
You're going to read out 20,000 things.
Okay.
Yeah, now's your opportunity to transfer it 20,000 things. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Now's your opportunity to transfer it to the Google doc and continue in there.
Yeah.
And in the meantime, I'll just turn my printer off.
I think we should still print it.
I don't think you have to print it, but we should print it.
I just am curious how many teeth like 2000 thing, 20,000.
Can you just not print it during a record?
Is that okay?
Can you just.
Yeah, that's fine.
Okay.
Just make sure.
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do the smelling part because of Jeff. F*** you, Gavin. Maybe can't see it on an ad. You might need
to edit that out, Nick. Bye. So that was my day. I fell asleep at my desk and then i wrote i wrote this list the fact i
only had five duplicates i feel like i should get a little bit that that we noticed yeah that we
noticed i feel like you guys are pretty thorough your breakdown of this list what do you think
jack will think any of this means yeah i don't know what Jack's gonna do with this. I don't
know. I felt like I
was in the pitch meeting for We Didn't Start
the Fire.
Which I should have put on this list.
And you could have just gone
down that list. Well, I don't
the Marilyn Monroe is because
of that, but I didn't put anything else.
So Marilyn Monroe somewhere
on this list. so that was my
day I'm honestly
so you slept all day
well
no part of the day
and then and then I wrote this list
you did a lot more
sleeping than list writing
he
named he named a thousand things
he's supposed to get to 20,000.
He went, that's my day.
And Chip just went, so you slept all day.
He didn't do shit.
He just slept for eight hours.
I'm not going to'm not gonna blame anybody
hear me out started very early in the morning started very early on these recordings the book
end was very early for me I think with a lack of a normal sleep schedule, I think you're seeing at least five to six times
the amount of things on that list.
Do you remember when he started the day
saying that he felt sharp?
He was like a sharpened knife.
He was ready and then slept for eight hours.
Do you remember by the end of the episode,
I was yawning and saying I was a dull blade?
I was clear.
I didn't he missed he
lost steam we lost some steam oh so if you had done five to six times better that would have
put you in the 25 to 30 range yeah i you know i honestly i just don't have the ability to type
that fast he's been he wasted half of the hours he was awake poorly transcribing video games from one
place to the other how was the experience was it as miserable as i hope it was yeah it was not good
there was no joy in the transcription of any of that and it's just gonna get worse
yeah so you're five percent of the way through and you're out of video games
well i'm out of games i own i could go into a
best buy and really shake things up just think of different things it's all in your brain
you have all the information i'm gonna get there i'm gonna get there i definitely am gonna get
there it's just it didn't happen today early Early recording really, it really took a lot.
Oh, Nick's got a good question.
Did you add McDonald's when you did?
Because that was the meal you had at that moment.
That is factually correct.
That is absolutely right.
Did you go for hotcakes?
Fucking nailed it, Nick.
No, but I thought of the hack.
I had a nice 10-piece value chicken nugget meal.
Oh. Did you put hotcakes and
hack on your list?
I definitely put hotcakes.
Okay. I don't know if I put
hack. All this laughing is
making my fucking mouth hurt.
Oh, god damn.
I'm excited.
I don't know. One day out of the blue
I'm just going to be like, day out of the blue I'm just gonna be like well because I've
started this journey and I'm
gonna get to 20,000 things and one
day I'll be like hey I did I finally did the thing
but the impressive thing would have
been to have done it in a day that was the thing you
were bragging about well anyone could name
20,000 things it between now and the
end of their life yeah you're gonna name
one thing for 20,000 days and then
give us a list.
I'm not going for impressive.
I'm just saying we'll know how long it actually took me.
I was incorrect in stating I could easily do it.
Well, once again, a day in which I didn't sleep most of,
I would have done a lot more damage to this list.
By five or six times is what you said.
Yes, by five or six times. You would have been at 6,000 had you not
spent the morning in a tub and the
afternoon face down on your desk.
Yes. Yes.
Yes, I do.
I think I could have hit 5,000.
20,000
was never going to happen.
Why don't you just do 5,000 tomorrow then?
We're doing the break shit tomorrow.
Oh, yeah.
For an hour and a half.
That's like a third of your nap time.
No, but I get so stressed doing anything live,
I'm going to be fucking sleepy as soon as we're done with that.
I get nervous.
I get nervous doing the break shit.
Well, how?
You don't have to do anything.
You're just a voice.
No, but I'm trying to, like, add.
I don't want to feel.
I feel like you don't.
Like, I don't want to just be dead weight.
I appreciate that.
That's true.
And it's a live performance.
I'm trying to, like, be invested in it.
And it's because it's the only live thing I do.
I find it stressful.
Yeah.
And it's a lot better than it was when I started.
But I typically find I'm drained
earlier than I normally would
on a standard regulation day.
That's totally fair.
Friday, on the other hand, I don't think we have
anything for the show on Friday. We're doing one on Thursday.
I don't know. Okay.
We'll see. I'm not committing to this right
now. It's been a day.
5,000 things to my list.
When is this going to come out?
Are we recording next week?
I'm down.
Well, I think Gavin's gone,
but I thought we talked earlier about recording next week.
Yeah, we talked about it last time, but yeah.
We'll talk about it after.
I just assumed you were gone.
Like the whole point of us doing three this week
is that you're going to be gone starting next week.
When we're done with this one, where does...
Oh, this one comes out the 8th.
And I'll be back...
When am I back?
You can fill time while I look.
No, I'm good.
Didn't you just say we'll talk about this after?
Yeah, let's
talk about it after.
What do you mean? Do you really think
we're going to stick around to hang out with you
after?
No offense.
I love you.
You're the best friend I've ever had.
But I have no desire to spend one second with you past the moment we stop recording.
It is going to be fucking midnight 30.
And I'm already three hours past my bedtime.
No, we'll be done at midnight.
I'm going to be kind of annoyed
if we record again next week.
Oh, my fucking mouth hurts.
I'll just say it.
I'll just say it.
I'm open to it.
Why don't you just pull your tooth out, Jeff?
Dude.
No, we're good after that.
This is the last one we need.
I thought we were recording one on Thursday.
This Thursday. Because we were doing three this week. Our normal need. I thought we were recording one on Thursday. This Thursday.
Because we were doing three this week. Our normal one.
Yeah, we don't need it though. Oh, so we're done?
Well, wait. No.
Why are we doing this?
Why are we doing this?
That's what I want to talk to you about. The one we didn't need.
What are you talking about? The one we didn't need
is this one.
What are you talking about?
What are you saying?
What are you saying? What are you saying?
People are changing dates on me all the time.
What are you saying?
What I'm trying to make sure that happens is that we don't have a missing slot.
So we're being extra careful.
What are you saying?
Today, what was confirmed to me is that I will in fact be back.
And we don't need
So we don't what was it? What was it confirmed to you in an email about three o'clock?
You never thought to mention it. You never had never good. Well, you will never had that to be fair you were asleep. I
Don't care. That doesn't matter you fucking I love you. you fucking idiot you post in the slack channel
at 9 p.m this is a dumb idea you could have said all day we don't need to do it yeah but here's
the thing here's the thing i probably can't do thursday okay well that changes it that's that's
that's you should open with that. You should have let in that Thursday was dead. That should have been the first part of all of this
and then talking about
burying the lead.
In the grand scheme of things,
this was the dumb one.
It's just worked out.
So you can't record on Thursday?
It's unlikely.
You motherfucker.
Why?
What are you doing to me on Thursday?
I was going to record the podcast.
That's what we do every Thursday.
Nah, it's fine.
I don't suppose you're probably not going to the break show tomorrow either, right?
I don't think you're ever planning on that.
No, I was never doing that one.
Yeah, that's cool.
Unfortunately.
Thank God.
I'm rattled right now.
I can do Thursday if it's like 9 p.m., but we don't want to do it.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I've already deleted it.
It's gone.
It's off the calendar.
It's gone.
So we're not doing next Thursday or we are?
We're not.
No, we're not doing next Thursday.
We're not doing this Thursday.
No, we are doing next Thursday.
We're not doing this Thursday.
No, I think next Thursday is dead too.
Gavin?
This is the last one we need.
Then we're through.
Yeah, he's gone. He's
gone as of this week.
How am I the only one that got this? I never
get anything.
I would like to go back to the bit
where I said, let's just talk about this.
No.
I want this on the podcast
because somehow I don't come across
as the dumbest one here in this recording.
Somehow you have taken that mantle.
This is insane.
So we're done after this.
I'm not going to see...
You're going to be a different human being
the next time we record.
It's going to be a month.
My album is over.
We can do another one.
It's just we don't need it.
This will cover us.
This will cover my absence.
Okay, that's fine.
That's fine.
We can play Halo. It's too late.
I'd love to play Halo. What if you get quarantined
or something? Maybe we should have an extra one in the
bag. Yeah.
I don't know. That's up to the producer.
Hey, guys, let's talk about it
after.
Oh, my mouth.
Eric, why don't I just slack you all of my
because this is actually it's annoying
for you it's very annoying for me the way my days change on me so i'll just keep you up today on
slack outside of content because i assume all right it's annoying for you it's annoying for me
it's got to be the most annoying for the audience to have to listen to this shite i have just keep
you informed in slack i think there are so many people that love it, but yes,
please keep me informed on Slack.
That's all I need.
But again, we can talk about this after.
Okay. I'm so
excited to go to bed. I'm so
excited. It's going to be so comfy.
I'll be so warm. How? Oh,
you're not going to be able to go to sleep. You're going to be
seeing through your eyelids again. Yeah.
How long do you think it's going to take you to fall asleep?
Oh, I'm going to be amped for at least an hour afterwards.
Yeah?
You're going to be going through my fucking list,
double-checking, making sure, going through the errors?
Well, if you're going to be all amped up for another hour,
let's just do another podcast.
No.
No.
No, we're not.
It's a terrible idea.
Andrew, how long is it going to take you to fall asleep? Oh asleep oh i'm gonna be up until like 5 a.m now my sleep schedule is
either it's so bad today i imagine either that or you will fall asleep on your microphone
if i could if i could get into the channel for the break shit stream i would be there for
pleasantries as soon as we're done. I'd just be waiting.
Live feed of an empty studio. Did you have
QWERTY written backwards on your forehead when you woke up?
Have you ever had keys on your keyboard
stop working? Yes. Of of course how did you solve that
got a new keyboard yeah that is smart i had a laptop that i think the y and the t didn't work
and so whenever i wanted to use those letters i'd have to copy and paste from a news story
and put it in and i thought i don't use these letters all that.
You use them a lot.
You don't realize how often you use certain letters
until you have to copy and paste them
anytime you want to put a message in.
It's almost like I was playing Wordle in advance.
Like I was trying to find alternate words
for what I was trying to say during that time.
It was an interesting challenge.
I lost, this was back when I was on MSN Messenger
back in the day.
I lost G on my keyboard and I
had to tell my friends that I would be using 9 instead of G and I actually got pretty good at
just going to 9 subconsciously and then when I got a new keyboard I kept doing it. It was pretty annoying.
I had to sort of unlearn that. Why 9? It looks like a G. Does it? Well, yeah, lowercase G.
It looks like a G. Does it?
Yeah, lowercase g.
Better than like a 7 or something.
I would not say, if I saw the G and a 9 at a barbecue, I wouldn't
assume they were related.
I'm not saying it is a G.
It's a 9.
You can read it as a G if you want.
Hmm.
At that point,
I guess I see what you're saying.
Like a 2 would be weird.
Would it?
Two-aven?
Navin.
I don't see how Navin is different.
It looks like a G, man!
It doesn't really, though.
It does!
I just did a G and a nine.
No, I just did...
That does not look like Gavin.
You cannot tell me that looks like Gavin.
There enough?
No, it doesn't.
And your whole argument of if you decide it's a G can be applied to literally anything.
If we just decide anything is a G.
Are you saying nine is similar, is more similar to another letter?
Dude, come on.
Look at that.
It's an open loop G.
That's a nine.
That one, you know what?
I'm not going to argue that one.
That one.
Did you forget how to write a G? Well, no, I mean, I'm looking at the G. That's a nine. That one, you know what? I'm not gonna argue that one. Did you forget how to write
a G? Well, no. I mean,
I'm looking at the G. It's just the
nine is different. Yeah, it's a nine.
Seeing it up close.
Yeah, the Discord G is
a closed loop G. It's a weird G.
That's
where it went wrong for me.
I feel like you don't,
you shouldn't come too hard at the two guys
that have the first letter of their name as the G.
Yeah, we know G pretty well.
No, we know our way around the G.
And we're both Gemini.
That's true.
It's fucking G squared up here.
We're both nine...
Nine M-ini.
Why did you do that while I was drinking?
How's Henry doing?
He's asleep.
Want a Henry update?
He's missing this one, too.
We're missing...
We're over to you for Henry.
It's before his awake time and after his bedtime today.
He already has his diaper on,
and when he puts his diaper on,
he loses his bones bones and then he becomes
a floppy thing and he uh he just sprawls out and so he uh he's he doesn't have any bones right now
huh i'm trying to think go for it well what well it's tough i'm just i'm trying to think it's tough
can just be the end of the sentence but gavin with a nine so you would you ever would you come with the same
conclusion jeff the nine yeah if i had to substitute a g i would pick a nine or six what
about an a i feel left out pick a number like i might do this six you went with the six six yeah
like that looks six like probably four six it looks thank you more like an uppercase g than
a nine looks like a g yeah Yeah, I should have done six.
Look, I was probably twelve.
Yeah, four's a great one for A.
Yeah, that's a great alternative.
Great A alternative.
If you've been looking for
an alternative A in your life,
let me suggest you the four.
Why did we do this?
I don't know.
What are we talking about?
You asked if you ever lost a key on your keyboard.
No, I meant this show in general.
This is a terrible idea.
What?
Let's never do this again.
92 episodes and you're asking why we did this show in general?
No, just this specific episode, not this show in general.
There's exciting things happening with the show in general. We're doing
animated stuff. I don't know if I should talk about
that yet. Yeah, go for it. We're starting
to do an animated version of this?
I guess. I watched you pick your
head today. It was a good head. Wow.
It was a good head.
I like the head. When Gavin
comes back from his trip, we'll start our
new show, Does It Do?
as well, I believe.
Do we have that scheduled in?
Yes, talk to the producer.
I just found out when you were going,
so no.
Alright.
I deserve that.
Could we ask the audience maybe for what would be great segments
from the podcast to animate?
That's a great idea. I'm trying to animate like what would convert that's a great well idea
I think they're trying to think of things if you make
the if there's a topic on the sub
reddit there's a face subreddit
then I would say probably make
a post there and then have people link with like
times and go I love this part that
probably really helps that
is a great idea I think that the child
kick is the ultimate one today that's a
pretty good that is that is one to eventually do.
Go now.
How are you going to animate?
That's an entire film.
That's a feature.
Yeah.
Talking about not feeling like you're contributing to an episode,
I don't think...
I'd love to know the word count for Gavin and I in the go now episode.
It has to be under 25 for both of us.
That's a masterclass in storytelling.
It was just such a good story.
Yeah, it's I think the greatest story
I will ever hear.
Well, I'm never telling it again,
so I'm glad I got it on record.
Both in the content and the delivery of it.
You did great.
Riding the donkey story.
Oh, when I rode the horse down the mountain?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, we came in.ff bike break yeah it would be interesting to take me choking the choking noises i've made
throughout this show and just without context have people try to like draw what they think
happened or where that came from should we play a game next week called guess the choke and we
just you play one from each event and we have to guess what was in your mouth?
I love that idea.
Do we care about copyright strikes on our YouTube channel?
I was thinking about the Jurassic Park thing that Gavin made the other day.
Well, we don't monetize.
Well, put it on Instagram.
Yeah.
Okay.
That works.
That was like six months ago at this point
it was yeah it just popped
in my head when I was thinking of things
six months is nothing
it took us a year to make a fucking port-a-potty mug
that's true where are we at on the
ground is true I don't know
Eric do you know where we are in the ground tubes
I remember back to the drawing board for a while
no I don't I have I don't have an update
for that right now I can find out tomorrow and let you guys know.
Yeah, I guess it's probably too late to find out right now.
Yeah, it's almost tomorrow.
So just give me a little bit of time.
Give you another 10 minutes.
Yeah.
It'll be tomorrow.
I have a...
Is there anything that you need to do that you've been putting off?
You just keep forgetting about?
I need to get my fucking tooth drilled.
You're not forgetting about that.
You almost bought a fucking ice skate and knocked it out yourself earlier today that's
frequent in your mind what about you gavin when's the last time you're like oh fuck that is the
thing i need to do um or do you have one jeff uh i had one today that is ridiculous what is yours
i have a bed frame snow on my patio it's there. It's been there for like 20 days at this point.
Whenever I swap beds, it's when I put it out there.
And that's your balcony?
Or is it on the ground?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, no, it's on my balcony.
It's just taking up my balcony space and I need to get rid of it.
But I keep forgetting it exists.
Throw it off your balcony.
Isn't it covered in snow?
I don't know the condition of it we just had uh people just moved in uh to the unit next to me which has been vacant
for a long time and uh i had a funny panic moment last night where i could hear talking and i
couldn't figure out if it was coming from the people in the unit next door or if it was outside
because sometimes you can hear fighting and arguments going on
outside my window so i was like oh i'm gonna check this out even though i was curious is it people
next door is it outside i never process what if it is people next door i opened my door and
immediately saw the outline of people and panicked and shut the door immediately i never considered
and i just i wondered what they're from their perspective what that must have been like to hear the
door open and immediately
slam shut again and I assume you weren't
wearing pants oh no absolutely not
as in my underwear as I was just
getting ready I was expecting to hear a fight
I have a question about your
bed out there okay does it
block your view of women pissing
in the alley oh that's
well first of all I'm not I'm not's... Well, first of all, I'm not
looking for that.
You're not not looking.
No, I'm not. I'm actively not.
That was...
That was an unfortunate
thing that I witnessed.
But no, it's not.
You know what? Here. I'll
take a photo of it right now.
By all means, please.
Hell yeah.
I'm not mad
at you for this, but I'm not
happy with you, Gavin.
For this episode? Yeah.
I'm so fucking tired. I've done the last
like eight minutes with my eyes
closed.
It just sounded so funny at the time.
It's like when
you've always got those idiots
on a night out
trying to make plans
with you the next day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I have brunch tomorrow.
It's like,
you're going to be asleep.
You're an idiot.
You're stupid.
Why bother making...
I don't know.
It's the same thing.
It's like,
why did we even agree?
Because someone should have
just said no.
No, because that's not
f***ing facey.
I know.
We just...
We did the f***ing face thing.
Trapped ourselves with a name.
I'll be honest, I enjoyed this episode, even though
it was massively detrimental
to my entire week.
Next to going to sleep next to my girlfriend
for the first time in two weeks, I can't think of
anything I rather would have done tonight.
So that's my balcony.
Oh, it's just like the frame.
Just the frame.
So you could throw another bed out there and have an outside sleeping i've thought about that i think that's kind of a great idea
but i don't know what to buy for that a mattress why do you have what looks like the top of like
a police car siren on the oh is it a candle it's so candle speaking of things i forgot about doing
that was from i think the, the first Break Shit stream.
I opened up the waffle air freshener that we sell, and it smelled so bad, I decided to just throw it in a candle to burn it.
And then I ran outside because it started smoking everywhere.
And I'm above, I'm right below a smoke alarm.
So that candle's been there as well.
It hasn't been moved since I ran outside and I put...
You're just slowly building a
f***ing face museum out there.
I bet you the waffle is still...
Should I go check to see if the waffle is still...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll be right back.
I'm so f***ing tired.
He could deconstruct that frame,
Nick says.
Yeah, but then where's he gonna put the new bed the
outside bed is does that mean he just had nothing out there yeah well he did until well now he has
a candle and a bed frame before that yeah i think it was it was pretty bare and i hope we get to go
there one day dude i am very excited to go there i want to to fucking hang out. I want to light waffle
bomb candles on that deck.
Nick and Eric, are you coming to Canada with us
when we go? Yeah, we'd love to. We can go
crabbing and whatever other ideas.
You've got to have someone hold the camera, and Nick's
got to run audio, so it's the only
thing that makes sense. No waffle,
unfortunately.
What happened?
Is that the candle you know different
candle for the roast of marshmallow
well this is terrible
in a great way
we're done should we go to bed
yeah I think we can stop now
oh so are
we lost my second wind are we recording
on Thursday or not I don't I'm not trying
to do that I genuinely know no
no I've already taken it off the calendar you're not recording the 10th are we recording on Thursday or not? I don't, I'm not trying to do that. I genuinely. No, no, no. I've already taken it off the calendar.
You're not recording the 10th.
Are we recording the 17th?
Gavin, that's where you say yes or no.
That's what you have to.
Oh my God.
Well, there you go.
You've done it again.
You've listened to us torture ourselves and each other.
And by proxy, you, I don't know what time it is where by proxy you I don't know what time it is
where you're listening but I know what time
it is where we're recording and
I don't want it to be that time anymore
so we're gonna stop and we're all gonna
go to sleep except for Andrew who's gonna stay up
because he doesn't want to sleep past the break show
in 18 hours
like and subscribe
then we'll see you next time
hey guys minor league fan Jack here with a look
at next week's episode of F*** Face
it's episode 94 and
Jeff is back at the dentist
the boys talk about AOL Instant Messenger
Patton gets a squishy present
Gavin still has handle issues
the guys get knee deep in ass talk
which one is a blood sausage
and once again Andrew does not eat the pencil.
All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.