F**kface - Tomato Tomato // Geoff's Gems of War Achievement [162]
Episode Date: July 12, 2023Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Nick Nameless, movie plots, spoilers, finding the limit, Medieval Times horses, the worst soup, horse racing, SMEG, hidden consoles, Gavin has a clip, equidistant b...irth places, Andrew's thumbstick journey update, and thumbcam via kinect? Sponsored by Raycon http://buyraycon.com/face, Hello Fresh http://hellofresh.com/face50 and use code face50, and ExpressVPN http://expressvpn.com/face Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Who said,
do you know anybody that says potato?
No.
Do you think Gavin
says potato?
No,
I don't think so.
No,
he says chips.
Right,
but are you sure?
Here's what we have to do,
we have to ask him,
but we can't say it first
because it could influence it. So we have to say like, have to ask them, but we can't say it first because it could influence it.
So we have to say like.
I have a cute.
So what?
We're doing potato too?
Or are we just doing tomato?
Let's do potato, tomato, and Clamato juice.
Okay.
So.
Do you want me to load up images?
You want me to get these ready?
I got them.
Oh, you got them?
Okay, cool.
I just wanted to make sure.
Oh, that's even better.
I was just going to be like, all right.
So we're thinking of a brown cylindrical thing that grows
in the ground so dumb they make french fries
out of it how do you say that
like we're playing fucking
pyramid or whatever that game is
ah
turn up
oh yeah what's his other word for
what
rhubarb or he has like a different
word for something like that he has different
words for everything grip it's a different yeah it's a different word it was a crazy he has
different words for pickles what's the word for it what was the what's the i don't remember it
was insane it was a crazy word there he is gavin we have we have some important questions for you
yeah hey what's up gavin okay i going to show you an image of something.
Yeah.
And you're going to need to tell me how you say it.
Okay?
That's all.
You just have to say it.
The first thing that comes to mind.
Here's the first thing.
What is this person wearing?
What is that?
Tomato.
Okay.
Wow!
Okay.
Okay.
Save your comments.
What is this?
What would this item be?
Potato.
Okay.
I like this. I'm nailing this. Okay. And the last one. What is this? What would this item be? Potato. I like this.
I'm nailing this.
Okay.
And the last one,
what is this?
Clamato.
Have you ever heard of that before?
No.
It's clam and tomato juice put together.
Oh, Jesus.
It's very popular among certain circles.
And you would say that.
I fucking knew Nick would like it.
It's so fucking gross, dude. It's everything but knew nick would like it it's so fucking gross
nick likes everything but cucumber so fucking gross you're drinking clam uh-huh well not just
clam it's also there's also an edo in there yeah it's uh it's for it's for making like a michelada
if you've ever had like a michelada it it what it is is like a tomato you know like a v8 kind of situation
where it's tomato juice and then it's also um clam broth i think and then uh you know a bunch
of salt and bullshit and then you mix it with like a bud light so it's a broth you just throw a bunch
of a thing in there with water and boil it and then whatever comes out that's broth yeah i mean yeah that's pretty much it i think you have to reduce it a little bit but not much
yeah you should probably introduce the episode jeff hello and welcome to another episode of the
face podcast my name is jeff ramsey with me as always andrew pantin and Gavin Free. We're going Nick Nameless today. This is episode 162.
What if that was Nick's last name?
Nameless?
Nick, can you change your last name to Nameless so you can be Nick Nameless?
Oh, let's do it.
Nick Nameless.
Nick Nameless?
Is there a profession?
What do you think the profession of Nick Nameless would be?
I absolutely know what it is.
He used to...
Fuck, this is awesome.
Nick Nameless used to be a lawyer,
but he got disbarred,
and now he works as a private investigator.
I was about to say PI.
100% writing, hard-boiled noir detective.
This isn't Nick at all.
I'm not describing Nick here.
I'm describing Nick Nameless.
But Nick Nameless is just such a forgettable dude
that he's like the guy that you meet him and he introduces you and you forget his name before you're done shaking his hand.
And so he's able to just infiltrate shit and blend in.
And that's how we like that's how he solves crimes.
Is he wearing a trench coat and a hat as you picture him?
Yes.
Yeah.
As a young man, he is.
Yeah.
I think Nick Nameless gets a little off the edges as he gets older.
I think he goes a little unstable.
I'm imagining Gene Hackman in Enemy of the State
for older Nick Nameless.
That's his trajectory.
Living in a wire house with a cat
is sort of the end game of Nick Nameless.
I kind of like the later Nick Nameless books, I think.
The ones where he's in that Gene Hackman era.
It's not as exciting as his Jack Ryan days, but it's a lot more of a thinking man's Nameless books, I think. The ones where he's in that G.E. Ackman era. It's not as exciting as his Jack Ryan days,
but it's a lot more of a thinking man's Nameless.
As his body's breaking down,
he's got to really use his wits and his experience.
He sounds like an exciting character
in a TV show, and around the episode 20 mark,
he'd have to put his full legal name
on some paperwork, and it'd be exciting.
You'd see Nicholas Nameless written,
and you'd be like, ooh.
We've never seen this side of him before.
Speaking of
Enemy of the State, we had
a state draft, which
was recent.
That's a fucking segway.
Yeah, well it's this, I watched
Enemy of the State.
We had a state draft and i watched i felt really
bad about it i watched enemy of the state as prep for that draft and i didn't pick it
i had never seen it in its entirety it should have been uh potentially my fourth round pick
oh i felt like i missed out have you guys when was the last time you watched enemy of the state
i've never seen it. In the theater.
You've never seen Enemy of the State?
It's a great movie.
About two weeks ago.
Oh, wow.
You watched Enemy of the State two weeks ago?
I was on a plane coming back, and it was on, and I went, let's do it.
And I watched it.
Enemy of the State is the movie that spawned the whole Zoom and Enhance meme, right?
Yes.
So why is everyone
suddenly watching it? Did it come out
in the summer of 98 or something?
Shit, did it?
Probably not. No, it's 99.
It came out in 99. No, Enemy of the State
98. Hell yeah!
Enemy of the State 1998.
Dude, the coincidences with this podcast
is incredible. Oh my god.
Dude. That's my God. Dude.
That's so good.
Oh, my God.
1998.
Do we have a release date?
Holy shit, Gavin.
For Wonder Woman's in theaters?
I just was wondering why it's so in right now.
It seems like a summer movie.
Wow.
The thing that got me with that movie is that it has a bunch of little freaky weirdos in it and they're jamie kennedy jack black
barry pepper like uh uh uh seth green seth green it's so bizarre oh it's a tony scott movie
yeah yeah i think you'd really like it it's very unnecessarily stylized it's so it's way too much
it's way too much it's way too much the technology is absurd
i'm glad you watched it so recently eric i it was a movie that i saw parts of in my childhood a lot
but i never sat down and watched the whole thing i watched it i've never seen a movie have such a
forced last act like the thing that causes everything to fall apart and the last act is
completely unnecessary and random and makes no sense of his
brush it off it's a wild watching
experience do you think there was some scenes cut
that would make it make no
I don't I just don't think the
script like they didn't know
how to they put the characters
in a position that they didn't know how to get them
out of so they just had one character
do something completely
irrationally for no reason and cause
like the entire last act to happen it's great you would really like it i think i think i think you'd
have a i think you'd have a pretty good time i'll give it a go it's pretty funny there are parts
things just kind of happen in the movie and andrew's right they don't know how to get people in and out of stuff so things happen for no reason uh and
poorly and you go yes okay the thing that causes like all of the issues of the third act you watch
and go oh he planned like there must be a broader plan to what he's done because this makes no sense
at all none and then it's just no he's like why like, why did you do that? And he's like,
oh, I know you told me not to. Which movie plot do you think is the most easily avoided?
Like in a film, like a movie plot where it's like, oh, they could have just done this and
it would have been, it would have been done. Can I, can I tell you one that immediately
popped into my brain, but I don't think it's the answer, but my first thought,
no country for old men. Got a 50% chance of
absolutely nothing happening.
That's your brain.
That's pretty good.
My guess
would have been
Die Hard 2. They could have just sent all the planes
to another airport.
Totally avoidable.
There was no reason
that they were all circling and running out of fuel
I think the weather was too bad
or something for them to go anywhere else
maybe there was a storm
that's a movie I've seen relatively
recently that I couldn't tell you a single detail
about outside somebody gets stabbed in the eye
with a thing of ice that was crazy
Die Hard 2 is such a forgettable film
it is
the only bit I usually remember is that they like reset the
ground level on the plane so they think they're higher than they are and they just crash into the
ground i was i was a kid when die hard and die hard 2 came out obviously uh and i was so fucking
excited about die hard 2 because die hard 1 hit so hard in america it was such a big deal and it
was such a fucking letdown it was definitely one of those like early sequel letdowns that i experienced in my life yeah it's got like real sequelitis where uh john
mclean is just doing an impression of himself in the first movie it's real ace ventura 2 yeah
which is interesting because then die hard 3 comes back and is the i i would argue it's a
little long if you go back and watch it now but one of the best movies ever let alone uh one of the best diehards I heard three is so fucking good and then four is so good
and then it just goes to shit three's good again I like three a lot uh one and three I think are
really great movies yeah it's it goes crazy right like I feel like kind of the appeal of a diehard
one is that he's sort of a grounded hero like he's not there not, there's nothing too crazy in my memory of Die Hard 1.
He's mainly crawling around in vents,
shooting dudes.
In terms of, like,
at least action movie logic,
he's very grounded.
And then by the time
you get to Die Hard 4,
he literally rides like a jet in motion.
Yeah, and then at some point,
is it 5,
he's fighting Russia by himself?
Yes, I never saw 5,
but it's him and his son
taking on all of Russia, which is
the one where he reverses a police car
into a helicopter. Yeah, that's a cab
or something. Was it? That was so awesome.
Yeah, so awesome. Justin Long
threw a car at a helicopter.
My my answer is North
by Northwest, a movie that I love
and despise. Was that Hitchcock?
Yeah, I hate mistaken
identity movies, and that is a movie
that has the weakest
mistaken identity
at like near the beginning
and then the rest goes down
this insane path
where if he would have stopped
and gone like,
I'm actually,
I'm not,
I'm George Kaplan.
I'm not Thornhill.
And that's it?
Like the,
it's so bizarre.
And it happens with like, for no reason.
And it just keeps going.
Nobody stops and asks a question.
They just go, gotta keep chasing this guy.
And it makes me crazy.
I can't watch it again.
You know what?
I'm gonna, I think that's a great one.
And I'm gonna piggyback off that from mine.
I'm gonna say, I'm gonna use Alfred H off that from mine. I'm going to say,
I'm going to use Alfred Hitchcock as well.
I'm going to do Rear Window.
Just shut the blinds.
Just shut the blinds.
Just stop looking.
Watch TV.
Just turn on the TV.
That doesn't solve the mud.
Vertigo.
I'll do Vertigo as well.
Don't climb stairs.
Yeah, quit being in San Francisco, dude.
Go somewhere else.
Well, I don't think it counts if the if the reason is to drive away from the movie i mean psycho don't stay at that hotel that's like uh do
you guys remember call of duty 2 uh modern warfare 2 yeah there was the little easter egg in it when
uh if you know how you have to the first level is always the introductory level where you have
to run through the the training course and you try to get like to the first level is always the introductory level where you have to run through the training course
and you try to get the gold time.
In that one, the general who ends up
being the bad guy in the reveal.
It's Call of Duty 2, man.
It's already been remade
and then restoried
as a different story. It's so fucking old.
There have been 86 Call of Duties
to come out since then.
The general who ends up being the
bad guy who you find out in like level six or seven when you have to defend that house and
then he shows up start shooting people after you fucking save it uh which is an awesome level in a
video game called you mean modern warfare 2 or call of duty 2 modern warfare 2 yeah like shepherd
or whatever his name was yeah i thought you're talking the call of duty like the old like the
world war 2 call no no no sorry
modern warfare 2 uh but not the modern warfare remastered new one that's all different yeah
anyway the general is standing above you like giving you instructions as you're learning how
to go through and if you just turn around and shoot him the game ends yeah that's great
games they let you kill them in the first 30 seconds of the game if you want to that's great. Games are going to just end in a million. They let you kill them in the first 30 seconds of the game,
if you want to.
That's kind of like Shadow Complex did something similar,
I think, too.
Like, if you just wait.
I think there's a way to do that in Far Cry 4 and 5.
Yeah, I think you just stand still in it.
Yeah, in 3, you just sit at the table or whatever.
Nick wrote the line,
the witch and the wardrobe,
they could have just not gone through the wardrobe.
Great movie.
Thelma and Louise, just don't go dancing.
Stay home.
Don't go dancing.
It changes everything.
Is there dancing in Thelma and Louise?
Yeah, they go out dancing to blow off steam,
and then she ends up, Thelma or Louise,
I can't remember which one,
ends up dancing with a dude
who they end up kind of flirting and stuff and then he tries to
rape her and the other one kills him
and then that's what sets the cops after them
and the whole police chase thing.
Oh, Jesus. Okay.
I have zero awareness of what that is outside
of the ending of that movie. Yeah, the reason
that they drive off the cliff together is
because they're being chased by a bunch of dickhead cops
because... Whoa, spoiler.
Oh my god. god yeah you're
right i shouldn't be right on this episode you're absolutely right you're gonna needle jeff to death
this is really exciting what what character is the spoiler guy gavin who are we talking to you
right now every time you interject is it's nick nameless he's so busy he's so busy on the cases
he doesn't have time to watch tv that That was definitely an Errol call out.
By the way, I noticed something popped up on my YouTube thing,
and it was like an old Does It Do?
And I realized in Does It Do?
I'm a combination of Errol and Stuart.
Definitely.
Absolutely. You're like the worst of both of those dudes.
We haven't had Eric on since he met Stuart. I briefly touched on it last week. Absolutely. You're like the worst of both of those dudes.
We haven't had Eric on since he met Stuart.
I briefly touched on it last week about how much he hates Stuart.
What were your thoughts, Eric?
I haven't heard the episode, so I'm not sure what you guys have talked about.
I've gotten the notes, sort of like the blow-by-blow here and there.
Just that he wanted to get away from me and I didn't even really have to do anything.
I was just raising my hands and grabbing motions as if i was about to touch stuff and you were like this sucks
get away from me andrew it is like you're at the store and you are we're just trying to find our
stuff it's you're just at the store and then all of a sudden i didn't realize it was gavin
when it when it first happened and then it was just getting bumped into and somebody
reaching in and like knocking stuff over and I had like a moment of panic of like what is what's
going on what's happening what's at the grocery store what's happening to me right now and then
I noticed who it was and what was happening and I never want i never want to see him again
misery at the grocery store do you do that to meg you don't do that she'll she'd kill you right
oh yeah i tried it once and she she hated it it's fucking oh it like it is like it's cringe
inducing but not in the way where it's like, Oh, online cringe. It makes you physically recoil because there is someone that's just in your
space,
knocking stuff over.
And you're like trying to save everything.
Oh,
it's the worst.
Oh,
it's the worst.
It's so bad.
You can physically see Eric's skin crawl in the moment.
You know,
you've got,
you display such a level of maturity that I,
I I'm jealous.
And,
and,
and a little bit in awe of Gavin.
Like when you say you did it to
Meg once and she hated it,
I would have done it to Meg
once and then she hated it, and then that
would have been the reason to do it until she eventually
left me.
And I think it's so
mature, and I just
I'm really
I'm impressed. I don't have that thing that you have, and I wish I'm really I'm impressed because I
don't I don't I don't have that thing that you
have and I think what it is is I don't
really want to push people's buttons but I think it's
smart to find out what they are
ah evaluation I don't need to be
pressing on them though I want to press
somebody's button so hard it breaks
well yeah
uh you've succeeded multiple
times
just imagining having to fill out the reason for separation
in that context
it's fucking Stuart
Stuart the bumbling customer
the lawyer's like I'm sorry
I don't understand this and you're like let me explain
Gavin has personas
and I don't like
number two
I mean, just tell
him to do it to the judge right then
and he would restate
whatever it is you need. Like I'm fumbling
his gavel.
One of my notes just says wowed by
smeg, but I don't really know
what I was talking about.
I don't know what that was.
It is at the birthday lunch.
Oh yeah,
where we left off,
you guys were going to Medieval Times.
How was that?
Oh yeah,
so we had a three day period
where we had a Dallas birthday weekend
and then the guys came over
and then Vanessa also came over,
Superfan Vanessa,
on my birthday
and then there was an attempt
to get my Jim's award achievement as well it was
like a whole big insane a lot of stuff happened in a couple days holy shit uh so we went to
medieval times it was uh it was me and emily and millie and uh super fan jack and or majorly fan
jack and his wife katie and then gavin and meg and then uh super fan fan Vanessa and her husband, Bernie.
And I have never once wanted to go to Medieval Times in my life.
And I have got to say, I was wrong.
Medieval Times is awesome.
It is so much fun. We spent like three hours there and time fucking flew by
it was so cool they're like lancing each other and the woods exploding and the shit going
everywhere and i was thinking the whole time gab i wanted to i you had to take off the next day so
i didn't get to talk to this about you but i was watching it and it's like there's like six nights
that fight against each other and then they put you in a section of the color coded
section of the arena and then
that's who you fight for
and so who were we we were yellow
night right we were the piss night yeah
and so
we were like the yellow knight team we were fighting for the yellow knight he didn't
win but the whole time like with the raucous
audience screaming and the
the performers taking it so seriously
I realized
I bet the horses have no idea they don't
live in medieval times
because they live
on site there's like 24
horse stables and there's 24 horses and
the horses live on site and they do all their training
there so for the entirety of
the time a horse lives there it thinks
it's in night shit it thinks this
is real because how would it know how does a horse lives there, it thinks it's in night shit. It thinks this is real.
Because how would it know?
How does a horse differentiate anything?
It's just got a bloke on it.
Do you think the horse is taking note of the attire?
I think a horse realizes the difference between a car and a
fucking knight in metal armor.
They bring in horses.
I don't think they're breeding
horses necessarily. No, listen, I'm telling you. From the outside world don't think they're breeding horses necessarily.
And no, listen, I'm telling you from the outside world.
You think they time travel?
No, I don't think the horses understand time travel.
I think the horses think they live in that period.
The horse, the horse knows its surroundings.
It knows what I don't think the horse. I think the horse that I think a horse.
I think it's all just one thing.
No, I think a horse that is like a police horse where the cops
patrol downtown austin on has an incredibly different view of the world than a horse that
only lives in medieval times and thinks that people fucking fight each other with swords all
night long i think that's ridiculous and it's the same as if you were just out in the open
and someone showed you a horse from 2023 and then someone also showed you a horse from the 1600s,
you wouldn't be like, whoa!
I must be in the 1600s.
You're just looking at two horses.
What?
No, I agree with Jeff.
I think the horse's perception of things is weird.
Here's why I agree.
Here's why I agree.
Because the movie Planet of the apes was filmed
and you have to think those horses don't know what the fuck is going on when the monkeys are
riding the horses and attacking the people totally agree so they must have a toy and if you show
those horses and had them talk to the medieval times horses completely like weird perspectives
they'd be like what is your What is your world like?
It's insane.
It's the first time anyone
has ever said, I think somebody's right
and here's why Planet of the Apes
has never been used
as an argument before.
I bet it will be from now on going forward.
Me and Jeff are right.
I agree.
Those horses think they live in olden times.
I don't think they know times.
That's my point.
They can't recognize
the difference between
different types of humans
as we were different horses
from different periods.
I think you're underselling
a horse's intelligence.
What was crazy to me
is that two of the six knights
were fans.
Oh, wow. Yeah, they knew who we were. It was great. Which colors? What was crazy to me is that two of the six knights were fans
It's great one of them which color yellow yellow piss night gave me a rose
Ella's great. I feel like I'm represented there, too. It's nice dude. We saw so many horses take so many dumps to hit the
First we sit down all the horses get intro to say's like and then uh just around the time it's all starting this the soup course gets brought out and it's all like very rustic you like eat
with your hands and sip out of a bowl sort of stuff and uh we we were all as our starter
treated to a lovely bowl of tomato bisque with giant wafts of horseshit. The second the balls landed on the bench in front of us,
the yellow knight's horse took 16 dump balls
right in front of Jeff.
This horse was maybe five feet away from us.
We were in the front row.
And the knight just looked back at all the turds coming out
and just patted the horse.
Like, oh, good boy.
He was like, good boy.
What can you do?
I feel like that would ground me in the moment, though.
That's what you want in that medieval experience.
That was a real medieval experience you just had.
It was.
By far the worst soup I've ever had.
And it would taste tremendous,
but the experience, the smell really, really soured the meal.
But yeah, very authentic.
Loved it.
That's fantastic.
It's wild.
They were telling us that one of the dudes that worked there
has been working there for 25 years as a knight.
Oh, wow.
Is it random?
Do you know who wins, who loses?
They work it out ahead of time, and they rotate.
Okay.
He hasn't gotten promoted to king 25 years?
It's one of those things where you become too good at your job.
It's just like how Tom Cruise couldn't get promoted in the Jet movie.
What's that movie called?
Days of Plane Thunder?
Top Gun.
There you go.
Yeah, it's just like how Tom Cruise could never get promoted in Top Gun.
He was too good as a fighter pilot.
That's all he wanted to do.
Maybe the knight just wants to defend the realm.
There's also someone outside of the arena
who was kind of telling people where to go and stuff,
but in, you know, an in-character voice,
doing the old-timey knight voice.
And he came up and said he was a listener as well.
And I was like, oh, you listen to him?
F*** your face.
And this is so weird,
watching someone in all that old-timey garb just snap out a character and be like, oh, yeah, I love F*** Face.
It's great.
There's like kids around.
It's so funny when people do that.
There's no PG way to talk about our podcast.
No.
So you guys went to medieval times and had a great time.
And then what else did you do Dallas weekend?
Oh, well, then Gavin had to go back. He and Meg
had another thing they had to go to. So the rest
of us the next day went horse racing
at the horse track, which I've, you know, I've done
gambling on horses in Vegas
at the sports book, but I've never been to a
horse track before. And man, let me tell
you, I had an impression of what it was and that
impression was wrong. I had an impression
of a bunch of like grizzled
old dudes with five o'clock shadow wearing like checker jackets with like racing forms in their hands, smoking cigarettes and being half homeless and just looking dirty and like throwing papers on the ground every time they lose and like clinging to tickets.
And it was actually really fucking nice, like gorgeous.
The food was amazing.
It was we were sitting inside.
It was air conditioned,
but one of the funniest things, well, two fucking awesome things happened. One point,
one of the races that, uh, Vanessa actually won and I got second place was they changed the results
because they slowed it down and they showed on the replay, her jockey hit my jockey with his
riding crop like three times, whack whack like attacked him and
so they disqualified that dude and i ended up winning a race that i didn't initially win
uh wow and then the other thing that happened is on the last race as they like put the horses in
the stanchion one of the horses did not want to go into like the starting gate and he like reared
up and he knocked his rider off and then he slammed into the horse next to him which knocked that horse's rider off and then he turned around
and just fucking left
and took off down the track
going backwards the wrong way
he went about I'd say
half of a track and then he just took
off through a gate like an open gate
and disappeared off into the woods
somewhere and all the other riders
and everybody turned around to go find him
and everybody in the place is just laughing and watching this happen and like 10 minutes later
they bring the horse back up and i would have thought like well that horse is a scratch there's
no way they're gonna be able to race with this horse he's probably tired from uh all that running
and they tried to put him back in again horse did the same fucking thing took off uh swung around
ran backwards uh down the track wrong way, took off, like
went through the gate and that was it. The guy just walked up
and just took his name down from the sign and then the rest
of the horses ran. But like two other horses
wouldn't race after that so it was
a whole thing. Do you know why the horse
ran away? He didn't want to race. Saw a
cell phone. It's from medieval times. He's trying to
go back to medieval times. He's trying to get back. He's not a medieval
times horse. He didn't know this world. He's not a medieval times horse. He didn't know
this world. He saw a phone. He saw a modern thing he saw a hat they
have hats bucket hat was like this isn't this isn't where i live i don't know what a bucket
hat is they had hats in the olden times he heard taylor swift and he had to retrieve or run back
to home i retrieve but retreat it's fine but i'm right the horses have a different experience i put
the picture up of how how close oh oh my god oh you guys that
is oh i didn't realize ridiculously close he wasn't like yeah he wasn't like it was about five
feet and uh just the wafts right in our face it was fucking awesome that's amazing it was a great
experience i uh i definitely i highly recommend anybody uh go see Medieval Times show. It's very fun. So then that was the big Dallas weekend,
but then we celebrated your birthday the next day.
Well, I mean, we kind of.
It was more just I wanted to get that achievement,
and it just happened to be on my birthday,
and so it seemed appropriate.
Wait, so you have the, did you get the achievement?
I sat down to get the achievement,
but with Gavin and Eric were there,
and Emily and Millie, of course,
and then superfan Vanessa.
And I looked up some stuff.
I got the...
The achievement came out December 11th, 2019.
And so three years, six months, and seven days
after that day, I got the achievement.
Wow! Yeah, it was a real... That after that day, I got the achievement. Wow!
Yeah, it was a real...
That's amazing.
Real underwhelming thing.
I just...
I had to hit three buttons,
and then it was like, boop!
He made us...
He made us stand around on his birthday
so we could watch him get the achievement,
and we all had to clap and film it.
None of that happened.
None of that happened.
None of that happened. Gavin, were we all there? Did we film it. None of that happened. None of that happened. None of that happened.
Gavin, were we all there?
Did we film it?
I filmed it and I was unironically clapping.
Yeah, but I didn't demand any of that.
I didn't ask for it.
On his birthday, he made us gather
so he could play his video game.
He made us watch and we had to film it.
And then Eric got really impressed with Smeg.
I just think it's weird that something's called Smeg and it's in your kitchen.
What is Smeg?
It's a line of products.
Is that right, Gavin?
It's like an appliance brand.
Yeah, I think it's like a, was it like an Italian company that makes kitchen shit?
Yeah, I think it was.
Was it a kettle?
Tea kettle, yeah.
Yeah, and it just said Smeg, which to me is very weird, I guess.
It's just too close of a name.
It's just gross, and I think it's weird
that that's what it's called.
Too close to what?
Meg, I guess?
No, like...
Smegma?
Yes, it's that, and it's weird.'s well i'd say it's pretty on the money like
you like smeg is short for smegma in conversation it basically just is smeg
right so that's so you walk into a kitchen and you just see that and you go i don't want to know
what's in it yeah see that's fair yeah right that's all i'm saying you know yeah nick says yucky and that's
that's all i was thinking i think and this is a dumb qualifier but i don't want it on curved
products because i don't know necessarily that it stops at the g and what you just said that's
all i'm saying that's all i'm saying fridge or like an oven where i can see everything and it's
up front it's flat it's there But as soon as you add curvature,
smeg becomes a real bomb.
Like if you can't verify the lack of ma around the corner.
Yeah.
I don't know if there's anything beyond that G
depending on the angle I'm at when looking at that thing.
And that could be a real issue.
I agree with Eric on this.
Well, thank you.
Hey.
Yeah.
Go ahead, Gavin.
Well, Jeff, if I got you
in the same font, some little metal cutouts
of M.A., would you would you put
them on? Probably.
Yeah. Yeah. One hundred percent, because I know you won't
do it. Yeah, for sure. Oh, OK.
And if you do do it, I had to. I
actually had to. I actually the M on mine
is a little
cattywampus because it just popped off one day. So I
superfluid it back on.
Said seg for a while.
Oh, I like Seg.
That's a good product name.
Yeah, but on a curved thing,
it might say Sega.
It's true.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's worse.
You don't even know.
Than Smegma.
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I'm surprised they never made game consoles
into kitchen appliances,
just so you could have stealth consoles.
That was always a thing with me as a kid,
where I'd be like,
I want to get an Xbox,
and my parents would be like,
that's ugly, disgusting.
But if it looked like a kettle,
if it was a Sega kettle.
What?
Okay. What do. What? Okay.
What do you mean?
Okay.
I will say, I never would have agreed with you.
I think that that's goofy.
Until the PS5 is out now.
And it is the legitimately worst looking game console that anyone has ever made.
It doesn't go with anyone's living room.
It's too big. it is goofy as hell i'm
if if it looked like a tea kettle gavin absolutely it looks like a it looks like a router or a like
a cable modem from the mid 2000s right ugly as hell and so big you have to take yours out of
the box to see it it looks like it should have next hell on the side of it i'm just trying to
imagine a tea kettle with like analog sticks like how does no it wouldn't be the controller
well it would be all in one wouldn't it if it's the console i feel like you're setting up a switch
situation you'd be plugging a controller into it so where do you see where do you see and the
controller would look like a whisk is the is the tea kettle connected to a tv yeah okay but i mean
when you weren't playing it you could just pop it in the kitchen and it would be fine.
Gotcha.
And you think that that was the barrier?
Wait.
Yeah.
Also, you want it to work as a tea kettle?
What?
Yeah, is it a tea kettle?
No.
Or is it just shaped like a tea kettle?
It just looks like one.
So you want...
Then why would you put it in the kitchen?
Right.
So you want someone to maybe mistake it for a tea kettle
Well
Look
Look my parents don't mind
Having a kettle in the kitchen
But they did mind a big ugly xbox
In the living room
Would they mind a kettle
In the living room just on a table
Would they be okay with that
I bet they would
Look I'm starting to realize maybe it shouldn't stealth kitchen stuff A kettle in the living room? Just on a table? Would they be okay with that? I bet they would.
Look, I'm starting to realize maybe it shouldn't stealth kitchen stuff.
It should look like a VCR.
So you want to have a VCR in your kitchen?
Alright, let's get off the rails.
What if it looked like a stealth table
and you could just put stuff on it as well?
What about that?
Oh yeah, if it was like the coffee table? Yeah, if it looked like a coffee table. Banger just put stuff on it as well what about that oh yeah if it was like the coffee table yeah if it looked like a coffee table banger idea there you go yeah perfect
perfect yeah why does your coffee table have an hdmi could you imagine trying to take your console
to like a friend's house you gotta strap a full table to your back this is like the least portable
thing ever i wonder disaster yeah i think i think I might try and hide a console in something.
I'll get in the lab.
You do.
I like the idea of something as physically large as a table,
but the weight of a game console.
The annoyance of that.
How much space it would take up.
Midnight launches where people are just like carrying tables out of a bit.
It's great.
What a terrible idea.
Where would you put the HDMI ports on the table is it on a
leg is it on the bottom probably just on
the back on the back yeah so below yeah
under the lip of the of the top okay
Nick sent us a video game take coffee
table right there oh wait well that's
just looks like a giant take it in a
second art studio I would say that
takes my parents' problem and really amplifies
it. Yeah, I'm going to say that this
Nick might be the opposite
of what we're looking for.
It's a table that looks like a Sega Genesis.
Which is, again, the opposite.
That's like an Xbox that actually makes tea.
Although if it was, what if it
was an Xbox? What if that's what your xbox looked like
now that would be pretty stealthy you would not expect oh they have many of them nick nick keeps
linking us to coffee tables that look like video game stuff nick this is the opposite we don't want
this maybe that's what he said oh i do i do, but not... Look at that Zelda cartridge table.
What a shit table.
That looks terrible.
Okay, I think my wife would hate that so much
that she would get rid of me.
So which one of these coffee tables...
Let's say you have to take one of these home.
Which one are you taking home?
I have to take one?
For the audience.
There's an NES controller.
There's a super Mario three cartridge.
There's a Zelda 64 cartridge.
There's a game boy.
Uh,
there's a,
what is that?
PlayStation one and NES.
And then a super Nintendo control.
I would do the super Nintendo,
but I'd have to repaint the buttons to the,
the correct colors.
The super Nintendo controller is like the worst
one why you've got no it's all the different layers yeah look at all like the raised points
and everything yeah they're perfect for mugs i you do have four permanent buttons or coasters
yeah so when you're when you have four people sitting around the right side of your coffee
table you've got yeah four easy coasters do you see uh start and select they look like tv remote
holders to me perfect what they're they're fizz what do you
why are you trying to hide all your products
what are you doing hidden in place your products? What are you doing?
Why does everything need to be sneaky?
Oh, you want the TV remote?
Fucking shove your hand into the start button.
It's in there.
Why are you trying to hide everything?
As the oldest of us, Jeff, which one would you pick?
I'm probably going with the PlayStation 1
just because it looks like
you can open up the disc
tray
and probably store stuff in there
what are you going
what
you put like a couple blankets
or whatever
you know you might need
when it gets cold
extra pillow
that's what I'm doing
I have
I've prepared a clip this week
and it's a sad clip
oh no I've realized
um as I get older
I'm becoming more
Jeff like
okay I can see why this would make you sad
what do you see
oh at some point we should probably talk about
the discovery we made on Monday
when we were all together okay so uh it's a it's a couch with cashews it's a cashew couch
yeah now is this couch a tea kettle or no i'm playing just a couch what you're seeing here
this is just from one of my uh it's from one of my cameras and it doesn't have sound so i added
some sound on to uh help illustrate the point. I dropped a can of drink
that I was drinking and it made a little bulge in the top and I was halfway through drinking
it and it kept sticking me in the lip. So I tried to push it down. But if you push the
top of a can quite hard, sometimes the entire can just completely buckles. And this is, this is what happened to me the other night.
So the top of the can So you're pushing into the can.
The top of the can
didn't push in.
The entire side of the can
buckled,
forcing all the liquid
up into my nose and eyes.
And I just thought,
wow, that's the kind of stuff Jeff would do in front of me.
Around my age.
And it's just happening slowly.
I think I've passed the torch.
Yeah, thanks for that.
Enjoy the next 10 years.
I can't wait to get a bottle cap stuck in my eye.
You look like you got orca blasted in your living room.
The sound effect was great.
It was phenomenal.
And I was talking to, Meg was like reading something to me at the phenomenal. And I was talking to Meg.
Meg was like reading something to me at the time.
And I'm just like,
I'm coming out like I'm drowning.
She's like, what is wrong with you?
There's a bunch of water splashes all over the floor.
That's awesome.
Oh, man.
So you guys made a discovery?
Yeah.
So when we were all together
we got onto the conversation about um i don't know if we've talked about this much on the the
podcast but we have been working this kind of uh this uh supplemental idea uh in the background of
us doing like a sports competition thing where we have a tournament, and then we declare a winner.
It'd be video game-based, but we declare a winner.
We were trying to figure out what the winner should get.
And Andrew, you had an idea that I thought was really brilliant.
Your idea was that we put all of our birthplaces on a map,
and then we draw lines to where they all intersect,
and at that center point in the middle of all of our birthplaces,
wherever that landmass is, we go there and we buy a billboard
or we rent a billboard.
And then we put a congratulations.
Like, congratulations, Nick.
You won the tournament.
You won the tournament, right?
And then we were thinking it could be funnier if wherever it is,
like, let's say it's like Boise, Ohio.
Idaho. Boise is not in go like boise's favorite son nick wins the tournament or whatever
as if he's like a local homegrown hero that nobody's ever fucking heard of and we just put
that we just put that thing up well we decided uh to triangulate that point with all of our
birthplaces, and we haven't
shared that information with you yet, Andrew,
because the results were surprising.
No. I don't think I'm
the best person to explain the math
behind it from this point on,
if Eric or Gavin would rather.
We had to enlist Millie.
That's true. Millie helped a lot millie was mostly the one who did this uh and was very good at it we took the cities took the latitude longitude of those cities and found what our equidistant birthplace is.
Unfortunately, one of us was born not in North America.
Out of bounds.
It has made this incredibly difficult.
Yeah, I'm really-
Incredibly difficult.
I really ruined this.
We did it two ways.
If we were to do it where we weighed everybody equally, it ends up putting us somewhere.
Well, we'll get to that last, I think.
It's somewhere.
Yeah, I agree.
So what we ended up doing was taking, I think, all of North America, finding the equidistant point there and then doing that against Gavin's.
Right. Is that how we ended? Yeah. North America, finding the equidistant point there and then doing that against Gavin's, right?
Is that how we ended?
Yeah.
And then so we did that and then found a place.
I don't know if we want to say the city yet in case we end up using this, but we found
a place and it does have a big population and there's not a lot going on.
And it seems like prime real estate for a billboard for a show yeah that people that none
of the people that live there know exist or listen to let's just say there's a place in middle america
uh that has a population of about 900 people who has no idea that their favorite son is going to
get a billboard in a few months when we do this competition. And which way we also got to thinking,
what if,
and Gavin,
I want to talk to you about this.
Uh,
what if we bought a piece of land there?
Just like really cheap land.
You can probably get land for pennies on the dollar there. And we just bought like an acre.
And then that became the center of the universe.
Then we could build like an obelisk,
kind of like the cool ones I saw from Egypt in Rome that that says, like, f*** face, center of the universe.
Kind of like when you go and stand on the four...
We were in four states at one point, at that one place in America.
And then it just becomes like a shrine,
kind of like the Prada store over in Marfa.
It just becomes a shrine that people can make, like, pilgrimages to,
to go see, and hopefully not deface.
I wonder what the locals would think about that.
It's like this big monument to f*** face,
even though none of the members have ever heard of it or set
for that. Yeah, but what you're
describing is we're going to essentially make
wild, wild country. We've moved
into this small, peaceful town,
this outside forest.
They don't like it, but there's nothing illegal
about what's happening. No, all we're going to do
is put a concrete statue
up on our land.
Just on our land.
And then that's it.
I love this idea.
So anyway, yeah,
we should hold off
on saying where that place is.
Yeah.
I mean, okay.
Well, I mean,
it's not hard to figure out
based on you set up
how to find it
and it seems pretty easy.
Here's the thing.
Whatever we ended up finding
is going to be the place. And when people do it right and end up in a different place. Here's the thing. Whatever we ended up finding is going to be the place and when people
do it right and end up in a different
place, that's on them. Yeah, we're not going to have that
argument. We did it our way and this
is right to us. Do you want to
talk about where, because we had to
round up to a piece
of land. So
if you do it waiting
all the birth locations
evenly, it puts us all the birth locations evenly,
it puts us in the ocean.
Honestly, it puts us almost right on top of the Titanic.
No!
I'm going to post a photo.
No!
I'm going to post a fucking photo.
It is so...
Andrew, you're not ready for how close it is.
It's insane.
We're at the Titanic?
Yeah, hold on a second.
I got a lot of fucking.
Oh, man, that's a really hot spot right now, too.
It's.
Fuck.
It was a weird realization because, you know, all the Titanic shit was going on at the time.
And we're just standing there like, is this fucking real?
Is the Titanic the most high-profile...
F*** face?
Is it a f*** face?
Does that count?
So the little green flag there,
and this will be on the Instagram, obviously,
is us,
and the red dot is the location of the Titanic.
That is crazy!
No!
So we thought briefly,
well, we move it up to the closest landmass
and then I guess we put a billboard in
Labrador or Nova Scotia.
We gave up on that idea immediately.
Yeah, so if
the equidistant point between all of our birthplaces
is the Titanic.
It's close enough to the
Titanic that if we did have a billboard
there, it would have been the last thing many
people saw. Yeah yeah it is too close
it's too close it is on top of it almost
that's crazy
obviously not looking to make light
of recent tragedy but
wow what a stunning discovery
also discovered that on the
same day that they showed the controller
that the guy was using
which was like a mad cats controller which had
like not which had extra thumbsticks
that looked pretty similar
to the thumbsticks Gavin designed.
It'd probably be a terrible table.
Oh, awful table.
Terrible.
How is your thumbstick journey going, Andrew?
So I started it.
I cleared.
I got the first win that I needed,
so I'm now going to approach the thumbsticks.
I received them all. Gavin was also kind enough to include a lightning cable so that resolved that whole issue
I've been using the air pods as well. I see what you sound like you only had one or you were short of
Yeah, I didn't know where it was. I I hadn't found the it was in a different egg somewhere
It was and I'm in a different if I can ever prevent someone from buying a lightning cable. I'll do it
I've got like 40 of them. I
Like pains me that people buy new ones just you know get a touch of house anyone
It honestly it was great to have charge it up sleeping with the rain and my ears. It's been a game changer
I got storms going on I feel like cuz i also i pulled the fan out so i got
a breeze on my face i feel like i'm in like a 4zx experience like i'm looking into if i could get
like an automated spray bottle maybe get some liquid going as well to really get the full
experience it sounds like you're sleeping in a rain in a rainforest cafe yeah it is yeah that's
sort of the dream i guess well how do you feel about the fourth dimension?
It's great.
It has added a whole layer.
I get cooler.
I get really into the whole experience.
It's like, ooh, it's chilling.
There's a big storm out there.
I got to stay under these bundled covers.
Big wind going by.
Got to lock in.
So it's been great. So is this the most advanced sleep experience you've ever had?
So far, I'd say it is.
And I have been looking.
I do.
I don't.
It's tough to find like an automated spray bottle that you could schedule because I just
want like some random spritz during the night to like really add into the experience.
Like I haven't been able to figure out a way to automate that, unfortunately.
But there has to be a way, right?
Because at the grocery store, they got the spritzers that like go on and off for a way right because at the grocery store they got the spritzers
that like go on and off for a brief time to keep the vegetables fresh and cool yeah give me some
water you're trying to live a grocery store experience no i just want some rain just a
little bit of mist i want some mist in my life but a very a very like confined specific
mist because my partner would fucking
hate this I'm not trying to get the whole
bed drenched with water
you don't want collateral no I just want
my little zone
maybe we need a little smart spritzer
I will say it is I felt so bad
recently with my fan setup
and also like being
congested and stuff when i sneeze my instinct
is to sneeze away so the fans on my right the rest of the bed is to my left i have sneezed at us like
four times in the past week and i it's i feel awful about it but it's unavoidable i need to
adjust my sneeze instinct because i end up sneezingly into the fan and then it just blasts back. That's been a real disaster
Well, I gotta guess that kind of does what you want with the spritzing though
You can't solve it sneezing into myself has been the new the new sneeze
I've been trying to get used to the sneezing into me. Yeah, I think by default
I'm a sort of an inner elbow sneezer. I'm an inner elbow sneezer, too.
But I always like tilt away from the person as well.
And it's it's been a problem.
So I've been for ZX thing, but I guess controller.
I've been streaming on my my Twitch account at Andrew Panton.
If you want to watch, I'm going to start more regularly soon.
Got my first win on the base
sticks now we're on level uh one i think they're one inch sticks i think it goes up to nine inches
overall it's gonna be a real problem quickly because i can barely hold the controller with
the one inch sticks i thought i'd have a little bit more are you serious uh space yeah from like
yeah well he does that he does that claw thing so that way yeah yeah yeah for like
how i fold my hand so how are we gonna um how are we gonna um like what's gonna be the proof that
you're using them well they're i mean it's just i'm using them we established that i'm gonna
take photos in them what do you want well there's nothing on the stream to say that's what's
happening well no i i indicate what i'm doing Well, no, I indicate what I'm doing.
You can't verify, I guess, what I'm doing.
We just have to trust you.
You just have to trust me.
But that was established before.
It's crazy that you're asking this question now.
Well, I mean, hand cam?
How am I going to do a hand cam?
GoPro on your head looking down?
Oh.
GoPro looking down. Oh. GoPro looking...
But I...
Like, logistically.
I mean, I'm basing this entirely on your original...
Okay, no, but here's the problem.
Egg one.
Okay?
Hand cam works for now.
Right?
That makes sense.
I can do hand cam now.
Yeah.
Because I can hold the controller.
When we get to the point where I'm having to use my chin
to steer
and using other...
How am I going to capture that?
I think whatever you get
will be phenomenal. Yeah.
Stick the GoPro to the TV
facing at you.
Nobody needs
that. No, I think we can... I think it's all
we need. If it's a need if it's like a head cam
and then you end up just like filming
okay but I'm streaming
through my Xbox
how am I getting
where's the
where's this feed coming in from
no that's a good point
I'm not opposed
I just don't know how to make that work.
Can I do that?
I feel like I should have also put in a cam link and a little GoPro.
What if I might, I have a Kinect somewhere.
I'll look into, can I still use the Kinect?
Does that work?
Ooh, I bet that would work.
Having a Kinect on your head might be more of a challenge for the thumbsticks.
Listen, we've been over, I got a lot of real estate up here, okay?
I can carry things here.
I got a few items I can hold with this thing.
If you win a game of Warzone with a six inch thumbstick and a Kinect sellotape to
your head, I will lose my shit.
That'd be the best thing I've ever seen.
I will need to get a helmet that fits my eyes. That would be the way.
Yeah.
And I'd strap in,
although that could reduce area of my chin.
See, the thing is,
the honor rules are fine
to those who know what you're doing, right?
But potentially, you know,
there might be a bit of virality to what you're doing.
And I think a nice visual
will really
help illustrate that to a passing audience i don't care about that though that's not oh
that's secondary okay i don't care if anyone sees well i think it would enrich in the experience of
of the of the comment levers and the regulation listeners though
to get to see the the master handwork.
We just had a hand cam.
Yeah.
Okay.
We'll figure it out.
Why are you streaming through your Xbox, for a start?
You have stuff.
No, I don't.
It broke a long time ago.
I don't have...
If I had stuff, we would have done video game stuff.
Well, this would have been a great thing to know before I spent $60.
We've talked about this.
Freaking sending stuff already.
We've talked about it.
That's not on me.
That's on you.
I'm sure it is.
I'm sure I've forgotten.
Oh, I guess James Harden is going to pick up his option for $35 million
and then explore trade options.
Just saw that. 76 years.
Don't know... Trust the process,
Jeff. Do you know if James Harden has
a Kinect?
Do you think there are still
Kinect fans out there that are still
logging in and using the Kinect every day?
I
feel like the Kinect, generally speaking,
is agreed as a
kind of pointless device.
But the last time I brought it up in conversation,
I was like, yeah, fuck the Kinect.
And everybody in the room loved it.
Really?
I was like, where am I?
I feel like they're still in use a lot,
but none of them are connected to Xboxes.
Like I've seen them used in like other,
like IR tracking stuff.
So that's, I was going to say,
I've seen it a real uptick.
I don't know why,
but on TikToks of people going like, here's everything that I use it for that isn't an Xbox.
And a lot of it is taking like 3D images for 3D printing.
A lot of it is that, which I thought was very, very interesting.
And I'm like, wow, this is really incredible.
And they're like, it also does facial recognition really well.
And nothing ever used it for that on the Xbox.
It's just like, like wow this has like
so many uses but it sucked really good for finding ghosts as well yeah it's a great ghost tracker so
i don't know jeff you want to get haunter going again or whatever and grab a couple connects
i'm all right i think my haunting days are over. We could easily do a quick haunt with four helmet connects.
If we're ever going to bring the show back, I only want to do it with helmet connects.
I'd love to figure out how to capture the video from a connect,
because now the Xboxes don't even have that port.
You need like an adapter.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
I like the idea, though, of us just walking around a house with Kinects on our head verifying for people not haunted.
Your house is fine.
No ghosts.
All good.
We scanned it.
We scanned the spaces.
That's 100% of the houses we would go inspect.
That would be the show is just going nope no ghosts here either.
And that would be it.
the show is just going nope no ghosts here either and that would be it so andrew does the streaming from xbox does it allow the use of a connect to uh like pip pip in something i don't know because
it never because if that looked at if that's possible i'm glad i didn't send you any capture
devices because i think the connect angle will be phenomenal i'll look into it today i can't see
them wanting to support the connect considering how it went, but maybe it's still there
I hope it is
What a disappointing device I was so excited for the connect what about this you?
You stream to my computer, and then I'll stream that feed to twitch
And then you video call me, and I'll pick that feed to Twitch, and then you video call me,
and I'll pip that in.
Job's good.
I will compile your stream
and stream it from you.
I'm trying to rep, so I...
Stream on Twitch.
I stream.
I'll open your stream on Twitch,
and I'll capture that.
Okay.
And then you video call me
from your head. On a Kinect. No, yeah, yeah. Okay. And then you video call me from your head.
On a Kinect.
No, yeah, yeah.
Or from whatever, like a phone taped to your head.
And I'll capture that too and I'll combine them and stream it.
I mean, that seems like the way to do it.
What about this?
What if I stream and while I'm streaming,
you stream your hands doing it.
And it's a dramatic recreation of what's like a real time reenactment of what's happening.
You're an idiot.
Like an eight.
You know, like when a true crime happens and like they have the footage that doesn't really line up.
You're a fool.
I'm a fool.
You just streamed.
I streamed.
You stream.
We all stream.
It's a dramatic recreation, but it's happening concurrently. Yeah's reinterpreting he's looking at the moves he's trying to figure
out what's going on the bit the bit that i sent you which is my favorite bit the bit that makes
it unique i'm doing no i'm doing i am doing but you're showing how it may be you're just
representation of it yeah yeah you're not actually doing anything.
You're not on the battlefield. There's no
batteries in your controller.
There's no risk that's happening
in your life right now.
The idea is that you watch
Andrew play Xbox as you
grab a controller and pretend
that you're playing Xbox.
Yeah.
You know how parents do with their kids sometimes or they give
them a controller that's not like connected to anything it's like ah you're doing great
but you are looking at the footage and interpreting it as it happens
you're a fool figure out your connect get a hand cam
how am i gonna film my hand once again we talked you and i had this conversation on text
when i get to the point where i'm using my head there is no angle that's gonna make this work How am I going to film my hand? Once again, we talked. You and I had this conversation on text.
When I get to the point where I'm using my head,
there is no angle that's going to make this work.
That's what's going to be like trying to shoot around a planet is what I told you when I stand by.
It'll be like really up close.
It'll be out of focus.
It'll be of like what's behind your controller.
It'll be phenomenal.
It'll just be a desk.
It'll be a desk.
That doesn't play games.
It's just a desk.
It's a boring desk.
It's not a tea kettle.
It's a terrible desk. I think as someone who is all about the content I think
You definitely would appreciate how funny it would be to have a camera on your head
I'm gonna figure it out, but if I don't
I'll be streaming
I'll be streaming it. I'll be completing the thing that you'll say
I didn't do
and we'll just take your word for it
as a baseline
you know what I play like normally
you can tell
I don't think I could fake what
six inches of stick
oh
oh
oh
oh
I don't know what that's like.
It'll be fun.
I'm excited.
I can't wait.
I haven't had anything to watch since you were playing Donkey Kong.
I sent it to you.
I sent you to...
You could have watched VOD.
You wanted to.
I don't think you even knew there was a VOD.
How do I get on this email list? I want to see it too uh i'll just i'll send you a link thank you i did watch briefly some of your first game but i was also um putting my like in
the middle of putting my phone into a locker to do an escape room so you i was i was escaping from
a room while you were doing that oh that's fun and then when i came out it was over escape yeah
did you win nice now when
you're when you're streaming to twitch uh currently are you talking or are you having somebody talk
for you and then interpret in real time what they think you would be saying if we if you want to do
that though if you want to handle the voice part so i handle the voice part gavin handles the hand part and then... Yeah.
You're slowly winning me over with this.
Can you... If you're talking and streaming,
if I join your voice chat,
can I commentate with you?
Yeah.
Yeah, if you join,
I could make a party chat
and then you could talk.
Oh, hell yeah.
Let's do that.
But it would be like...
Everything you see would be like six seconds behind
You can see my screen unless I made is there a different stream that I
Stream my TV to you in a faster way than what the twitch delay is I don't know we'll figure it out
I'm also I don't stream either. I don't have any of this information
oh
You can just plug in a webcam to an Xbox.
Oh, well, there you go.
Oh, that's less fun, but OK.
What if you tape the webcam to the Kinect?
We used to.
One of my great regrets is that we were doing house showings when I was younger and the Kinect was around.
I really wish I would have streamed that.
That would have been fun.
Nobody would know you get a little camera,
the live feed into what's going on,
what people are saying.
Watch people perv it on your stuff.
Yeah.
Like walking around and giving,
giving comments about my wall posters or whatever.
Just be like this space.
What about this?
I really wish I did that.
So my great regrets.
Is that legal?
I don't know.
I have no idea.
I guess it's if it's your space.
It is my home.
Yeah, it's I feel like that's a weird gray area.
Maybe you could engage the services of that law website we used to use.
Oh, the judges.
Yeah.
Well, they're biased against me. I'm also one of them. So Well, they're biased against me.
I'm also one of them, so...
Biased against me, I'm also one of them.
Well, I had to become one of them because...
Yeah, they hate me.
They're me.
All right, we need to wrap up.
All right, all right, all right.
Hold on a second.
Time of death, 4.02pm Thursday
June 29th episode
162 of
F*** Face Has Deceased
It is over
Let's wrap it up and get home boys
I can't believe that we're the Titanic
We're the Titanic
And we didn't see it at first It was later when they were watching I can't believe that we're the Titanic. We're the Titanic. We're the fucking Titanic.
And we didn't see it at first.
It was later when they were watching a news report or something,
and Emily was like,
that looks exactly like where you guys just put your pin.
Yeah, I think in the video,
I joked that we were right on top of the Titanic.
I actually have no idea where that was.
I was inadvertently close.
And then it was much later we discovered it.
Wow. Should I make that into a video? Yeah. close. And then it was like much later we discovered it. Wow.
Should I make that into a video? Yeah.
Okay. I've got to do that. I've got to do
throwing. I've got to do
a port-a-potty. You texted
me, Jeff, that you made a great
discovery that you wanted to share with me on the podcast. That was it.
Great. And that'll be a really fantastic next
episode. I already quit recording.
I'm not in this episode anymore.
He's just talking to Jeff. You quit recording? Goodbye. I still have Craig. I quit recording when I ended the episode. I already quit recording. I'm not in this episode anymore. He's just talking to Jeff.
You quit recording?
Well, I still have Craig.
I quit recording when I ended the episode.
Oh.
But it continued.
It's never clear when anyone quits anything on this show.
I don't know why you would do that.
That's a very definitive statement by you.
Can I get a link?
And cut.
Hey, guys.
Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face.
The Conquer Republic's passport is the best.
Falkor versus Gandalf.
That guy from Kansas is a dick.
Can you taste stuff inside your stomach?
Do we need custom silly straws?
Jeff gets new shoes.
And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil.
All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.