F**kface - Unpleasantries // Not the first F**kface in V**riety [87]
Episode Date: January 26, 2022Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about our first true crime, 13 years of bullshit, being explicitly ignored, a variety article we aren't in, and Gavin's exploding apple remote kind of. If you want to sen...d your towel cards in, send to: Infinity Towel, 1901 e. 51st st, Austin, TX 78723 Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to ffacebits@gmail.com Sponsored by Raycon (http://buyraycon.com/face), Trade Coffee (http://drinktrade.com/face), and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face16). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I had a realization earlier today, and it has only been confirmed further by today.
Okay.
I was thinking about it.
I was laying down.
I woke up this morning.
I thought, you know what?
This is a weird thing to wake up to.
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah. You said you were thinking about that you were laying down. Are you
still in bed at this point or have you started
your day and then gone back to bed?
No, no. It was when I woke up. It was when I
first woke up. Okay. Through the
slats of the...
No, I fixed the bed. I fixed the
bed. I have actually a thing related to that
to talk about today. But fixed the
bed, waking up, thinking about recording.
Very excited.
And then I thought about Gavin and that you always show up on time.
I think Gavin hates pleasantries.
Yeah, I think there's nobody that hates pleasantries more than Gavin.
And I don't think you realize how much joy you're missing in your life
by opting out of pleasantries in what it seems to be every
scenario name a memorable pleasantry experience i literally just today talked i spent 15 minutes
talking with nick maybe not 15 like five talking with nick about things i never knew about him that
were super interesting pleasantries that's that is pleasant conversation no it's pleasantries
that's pleasantries hey how's it going? Oh, you go.
No, Gavin, Pleasantries is before we record,
me being able to say to you, how's your day going?
And just having a little bit of a talk instead of you showing up and immediately recording.
There's no room for Pleasantries.
The Pleasantries led into a genuine conversation.
Which is what's great about Pleasantries.
You don't, you're talking about a thing you don't know about.
Pleasantries, it's true about that.
Pleasantries can lead
into a world of entertainment,
including an inspiring conversation.
That's the beauty
of the pleasantry.
I also experienced
a wonderful conversation
of pleasantries this morning
talking to Jeff Yetter
and Alan
and a bunch of people from work
while I was waiting
for an executive meeting to start.
I'm laser focused
with Andrew on this one one i think you need
to adopt like i don't know if you had a bad pleasantry experience i don't know where this
started for you i don't know you've always been you had unpleasantries
okay i know i've known both of you for many years and we've had many many pleasantries
no no we haven't i haven't had a single pleasantry with you on this show.
Not a single one.
Every time we play Halo, that's like five minutes before we stop playing.
No, that is insane for you to think that Halo is a time for pleasantries.
Is it not?
That's ridiculous.
That's just a social outing.
Pleasantries is the thing before you do the thing.
It's before we play the game. I think Andrew's right god i hate to pile on gavin but i gotta think andrew's right
i would go even further and i would say that i in my experience because i i uh i recently i think
last weekend i caught a game a couple games of halo with you guys and our friend trevor and i
quickly was reminded that i'm incapable of having any
level of conversation with either of you without it turning into a podcast or content.
Really?
Yeah. Within two minutes, I was in podcast mode. So I don't think pleasantries are possible because
the second our mouths open, in my estimation, it turns into content.
Well, okay. I might be...
Maybe I just don't know where the line is drawn at pleasantries.
So, for example, Andrew, why don't you have some pleasantries with me right now?
I can't have pleasantries.
You can't have pleasantries while we're...
Pleasantries are not for recording.
Pleasantries are like a little, hey, how's it going?
How's your day?
It's a warm-up.
Imagine we weren't recording.
Imagine we weren't recording?
Okay. Door creak. we weren't recording? Okay.
Door creak.
You can't force pleasantries.
All right.
I think that's a little extreme, Andrew.
I think you can play pretend pleasantries.
No, because here's the thing.
Yes and, Andrew.
Yes and.
I disagree strongly because if we do pleasantry thing, we're going to fall right into his
hand, Jeff, and it's going to into his hand Jeff and it's gonna be boring
as fuck and it's not gonna work at all
and we're gonna just feel anxious that we're
eating up showtime
bullshit pleasantries
why don't we skip the pleasantries
and crack on with episode 87
of F*** Face I'm Gavin
that's Jeff and you're Andrew Andrew
that's very high energy
skip the pleasantries.
Next week.
Next week, 10 minutes.
Show up 10 minutes early.
Try the pleasantries.
Just try it.
I deliberately stay after we record every week.
Jeff has to piss off the second we stop.
I stay for end pleasantries every week.
But nobody needs the unpleasantries.
Oh, you don't want my pleasantries at the end.
No, they're great.
I don't have to leave. I leave to don't want my pleasantries at the end? No, they're great. I don't have to leave.
I leave to get away from having pleasantries at the end.
I thought you have to, like, frequently get Millie from stuff.
Yeah.
A lot of times I do.
A lot of times I'm racing to get Millie.
But other times I just am done talking to you guys.
That's fair.
I understand that completely.
Yeah.
I would want to be around me for more than an hour.
No.
I had to live with you off and on for a decade.
I had a lot of you.
Oh, I wasn't so bad.
Surely.
He threw a stick at you.
I'd say you're pretty bad to live with
based off of that information.
Dude, it was one of the great joys of my life
was every opportunity I had to be your roommate.
And I say that without hyperbole.
Or full of hyperbole.
A full stick's worth of hyperbole.
Jeff, you once told me,
you just out of nowhere said,
you're very easy to live with.
And I thought you were taking the piss.
I thought you were going to be like,
here's a list of annoying shit that I do.
But it was like a genuine comment.
I was like, damn, wow, thanks.
I'm going to tell you something right now. Yeah, I do. I'm going to tell you something about you
right now. And you are easy to everything with, in my experience. And I mean, that is a tremendous
compliment. You are easy to travel with. You are easy to live with. You are easy to commute with.
You are easy to play video games with. You're easy to be, have a lifelong friendship with.
You're easy to do all of the one area.
You are not easy to blank with is schedule.
You are impossible.
This is what I tell people all the time.
Everyone's like,
Oh,
you know,
your reputation.
And I'm telling you,
if I had one job,
I would be,
I think I would genuinely be a nice person to interact with.
But unfortunately, I've got a lot going on all the time.
Yes, I don't mean it in that like, you're a piece of shit and you're hard to nail down.
I mean, you're a busy lad and you've got a million fingers and a million pies and you're
constantly in motion and it's just hard to nail you down a lot.
I'll take that. That's a nice compliment.
Yeah.
I would say that was very pleasant. That was quite a lot of pleasantries that just occurred.
No. That was just a conversation.
I still don't understand this.
Yeah. Show up 10 minutes early, you'll get it.
It's like a secret door. You gotta like run through the thing in Hogwarts.
The last time you frickin' maniac Hogwarts the last time you freaking maniac the
last time I showed up 10 minutes early you shat on me for being early for 10 minutes that's true
that's my fault and I've only further decreased your interest in pleasantries I'll own that I
apologize but I didn't have the perspective I have now I realize you don't get it you don't
there's a whole world of pleasantries you're missing you would have loved to hear the things
I heard in the pleasantries before this show what what do you miss well it's
not mine to share it's not my information so i'm not gonna say it but it was it was a great
conversation you missed out on it but you did mention jeff that we played halo recently all
of us yeah and you're like you immediately went into podcast mode and i was like really that's
that's interesting and then and i realized i have a block of content for the show based off from that halo session yeah I learned because we
were it was content I learned something that I didn't realize that Gavin seems very sensitive
about there's there's an accusation uh some some may even say a mystery of sorts it's not an
accusation or a mystery when Gavin provides the proof of his own guilt.
One of you would like to, Gavin, why don't you explain?
Because I feel like you're the center of this.
Explain the 13 years of
bullshit I've been listening to.
Yes. Please.
Back in the day,
Halo 3 came out. It had
1,000 gamerscore, as many
games did.
And it was sort of among the... Well, it was sort of pre-achievement,
but among the same people.
We were very excited to be the first person
to complete the entire game's achievements.
But it was very easy in matchmaking
to fake some of the multiplayer achievements.
You just had to convince the lobby to like,
hey, two people stand together and I'll laser through you.
Because if you get two kills with a laser,
that's an achievement. But
I feel like we were all going for purity.
It was me, it was Jeff,
it was Bernie at the time. And I feel like
we were dead set
on getting them legit. Wouldn't you agree, Jeff?
Yeah. 100%.
And
that's what makes this so painful.
Yeah, the final two achievements I was after,
step and razor, triple kill with a sword in matchmaking,
pretty difficult at the time, I felt like,
and an overkill, which in free-for-all at the time
meant killing everyone else in the game
because the free-for-all matches were five people.
You had to kill everyone within, what,
like three or four seconds of each other.
I got them all
perfectly legitimately.
Very proud of it. You can tell from the time
stamps of the achievements, they're quite far apart.
And to this very day,
neither Bernie nor Jeff
believe me that my overkill was
legitimate. So first off, let me
hop in here and say that
this was not
an... Gavin is not
overselling how difficult this achievement was to get.
There have been very few times I've played video games
where I was angry enough to physically smash a controller
to the point it doesn't work anymore.
I lost two controllers in the service of this achievement.
It took me about 45 days after Gavin got his.
I remember because I got madder and madder the further away we got,
because especially after I realized that he had cheated and,
and I was still trying to get mine legitimately.
And then,
and then fucking Bungie on top of that did an extra fuck you to me.
I,
I eventually about 45 days later,
I got it.
It was one of the greater moments of my life.
It was on my third controller.
And, and I was done. It was one of the greater moments of my life. It was on my third controller. And I was done.
I was so happy.
Less than like a month later,
they upped that game mode to have six people in it.
And it became instantly easier to get it.
Way, way, way, way, way easier to get it.
I think I had to get it on Rat's Nest, if memory serves.
I can't remember all the map names.
But the point
is uh it was very very hard to get and i think part of the reason why it's so frustrating to me
and i know it was so frustrating to bernie is how hard it was for us to do it legitimately for you
to just stand three people in a row and kill them um i was very happy to provide video evidence of
my achievements because at the time,
this is before Achievement Hunter existed, at the time, I'd still saved the clips in theater mode
of all of the moments I got those achievements. So I thought I can just go back to these clips
now that Achievement Hunter exists and make a little achievement guide for achievements that
I've already got. I've got all the clips. I've got Step and Razor. I've got the 2-for-1 Laser.
I've got Overkill.
I put it up as a video,
and all I got was utter shit for both of these people.
When was the last time you watched this, Jeff?
The video?
I probably haven't seen it in 10 years.
I don't even know if this is the real clip
or if he's just found it.
No, no, this is the real clip.
There's one.
Tell me your feelings I got on this as
you watch this video you mean that that guy that he just hit twice who refused
to look at him are you already on the over yeah I already I already watched it
I can't play a little while ago I still see definitely see you cheating to get
this achievement this is a video from October 5th 2008 which is I see when I
uploaded it.
And the first guy, I'll admit, in my overkill, the first guy just doesn't damage me at all.
I don't know if he didn't see me or he's just walking backwards, but I had the hammer.
And it was a... I probably still got the entire game as a theater mode file.
I give you the... I think maybe the third kill is legitimate what do you mean i the rest of them
are definitely not it's definitely it's okay man and everybody was doing it why would i give you
the video if i cheated who why would you cheat i mean you already saw it i don't know why that
would change anything based off of his previous opinion. But I had never heard of this conflict.
This was all new to me.
And it was clear Gavin was passionate about it.
And Jeff has talked about wanting to do a mystery show of some kind.
Right.
We're going to solve a crime.
What better crime and or mystery to potentially try to solve than Gavin's overkill issue?
So I went deep deep I did some research
Oh, I'm digging. Oh, I'm excited now the problem is the video quality is
240p so when I started to do my research
This is there's a moment in which Gavin shows a screen of players trying to decipher that
Not easy. It's completely blurred. You can't really make out anybody's names.
Are you going to try and contact these people?
Oh, feel free, son.
And Gavin's, this is what helps Gavin,
is in February last year,
Bungie got rid of all of their old stats
that they used to have for Halo on their website.
So there's no immediately accessible paper trail to this.
It's just impossible however gavin
thankfully as he mentioned he recorded these as clips and then put them on his file share
so a clean version of all these exist on halo 3 but you need to be in halo 3 to get it and
halo 3 servers went down i think yesterday. It was a whole thing.
So once again, the timing of this,
very convenient for you, Gavin.
But I hopped on Twitter,
and I was like,
hey, does anyone happen to have a copy of Halo 3?
And somebody was fucking kind enough to do it.
They pulled out a copy of Halo 3.
They even fucking had to pull out a 360
they had like four console
updates they had to go through
Matt King was the kind
enough person to be the other
thank you Matt King for doing this detective work
for us so he booted up his
360 he got everything
I needed so these were are the screenshots
I got from Matt King
of all the different player names in the lobby
that Gavin interacted with.
Much clearer.
I can do research.
So I went on.
I went on to investigate all these people.
Wait, wait, wait.
You don't need to investigate any further.
You just need to free cam that clip.
What do you mean?
Are you saying you pulled the mode clip?
No, he did.
Right.
Yeah.
So he could have just uh free cammed the
map and watched everyone else fight without me well that already exists there are moments of
that but that doesn't necessarily i mean that's a great argument against it being legitimate there
is moments within the clip itself in which there is a fight unrelated to gavin before he has the
hand right uh i what was great is i didn't intend for this to fuck with gavin
gavin got this achievement on the 18th of october 2007 and so i randomly last night texted gavin
what were you doing the night of eight on the 18th of october 2007 and he was very confused in a way
that he felt like it felt like you thought i was fucking with you i said i don't know but the day
before i went bowling yeah he. He had confirmation on bowling,
and he had a photo of a pen up his nose from three days later.
So a definite criminal vibe.
Do you have that? Do you want to post it?
I don't have it immediately on hand, but if I could.
Anyway, I looked into these people.
I have a question for you.
So were you in England at the time, Gavin? That makes sense, because one of the people I looked into these people. I have a question for you. So were you in England at the time? Yeah.
That makes sense because one of the people I looked up, Raycon79, this is their profile, their bio.
Maybe you can make sense of it to me.
I don't understand it.
Maybe we'll edit it out.
This is what his bio was.
If your ma'am's a Arsenal fan, if your ma'am's an Arsenal fan, then she should go to Hapfrey Market and buy a bag of
Cypress Spuds.
Like all that confirmed to me
is that they were also
in England.
That's one of my people
right there.
That's one of your people.
Is that an insult?
I don't know.
Is that pro-Arsenal
or anti-Arsenal?
I don't know.
What are the spuds?
Is there a significance
to Cypress Spuds, Gavin? You don't know what a spud is?uds is there a significance to Cyprus spuds Gavin you don't know what a spud is
No, I notice what is I know that but what is the Cyprus spud?
Very specific, but you don't know okay, so that's just well don't British people retire to Cyprus a lot isn't that like a
Location hmm so Yeah, it's a popular location. Hmm. So.
That's a picture of me.
The face of a cheater.
Two days after I ever killed you.
It's not the face of a cheater.
Uh-huh.
So I looked at all these people.
Sadly, because I'd love for this to be undeniable, Gavin is guilty.
Sadly, most of these people.
No, I'd rather it be guilty.
I think it'd be funnier if I was able to confirm. Yeah, me too.
But all of these people, none of them got the achievement.
They didn't get it on that day, and they never got it at all.
We can now belittle Gavin's achievement, though,
because most of them have only played Halo for like one day.
These are all people that had no idea what they were doing.
That explains the behavior in the game.
I got lucky. No, it doesn't.
What? What it
explains to me is Gavin said, hey, I'm having...
He messaged some people, because he was, you know,
a member of the Rooster Teeth community at this point.
There were a lot of people out there.
We were...
We were amongst a lot of gamers of our ilk.
I think he probably turned to a couple people and said,
hey, would you guys mind hopping on and helping me get this
achievement real fast? All you guys gotta do is just let me kill you once with this hammer
real quick, and then we'll
just have fun playing Halo together.
I don't think that's likely. I think it's
more likely that these people just didn't know
what they were doing. Andra, I think you've done tremendous work
here. Well, I'm not
quite, so the good news, as I said,
Bungie got rid of all their stats. There's a community
initiative going on where they've pulled all
the data from that, and they're working on uploading it
as like an independent thing.
And it sounded like that might be available
by like the end of this month.
So I'm hoping to have the game locks
because I was able to look into all these people.
However, the most damaging thing about this
is by far the most suspicious of the kills
is Soul Eater, your first one,
where he looks at you and then just does
nothing and turns back the other way yeah he he does not exist on xbox i don't know who this
person is i reached out to major nelson on twitter about it no reply wasn't able to get clarification
for a question i had that's okay busy man but he doesn't exist and that's really like if you
wanted anyone to clear your name it is soul
leader but the one account that is soul leader on xbox has only played fantasy star online so it's
a different account so either soul leader was suspended or i think more likely they changed
their game could be cheating can't rule that out that's why i was trying to get in contact with
major nelson to find the backstory of soul leader I also love that in the photo of Soul Eater you can see the guy's
reflection but like you can't make an idea it adds to the mystery of who Soul Eater is I spent so
much time trying to track that guy down I do think that that first kill is pretty suspect also the
last kill when Gavin swings a sword or swings the hammer at the guy the guy looks at Gavin and then
looks to the left and then lets Gavin kill him again is pretty fucking suspect.
There are some definite things.
I'm watching this again.
The first guy.
It's like a massive fight going on.
There's no way this would be.
Yeah.
Smack.
Okay.
I'm in a bubble.
Oh, so this isn't the spree.
I've put a bit of head on this.
Apparently.
There is a little bit of head on.
Yeah.
That guy is just not doing anything.
No, he's useless. Like he doesn't. It's the most suspicious, as I said, of bit of head on this apparently there is a little bit of head on yeah that guy is just not doing anything no he's useless like he doesn't it's the most suspicious as I said
of all of them well Gavin only needed him to have
that account for one day so
that is true most of the accounts feel
like they only existed for one day
uh the only one that had
any history on it was the
yamams and arsenal fan guy
I messaged several people on his friends
list if they have
any memory of them and i didn't get a reply back from anybody i tried i did a thorough investigation
or at least as thorough as i could get i think there's a really really good chance that at least
a couple of these accounts are gavin you think so you think yeah you think i've had a ton of
accounts back in the day he had a big thing about like tricking people into changing their gamer
tags and he's he's he was hyper obsessed with gamer tags and accounts back then i've had
like in my life a british account two game attacks well that you cop up to yeah that's true you
acknowledge as yours of course that you said are yours i will say this the the uh person that helped
on twitter pull this all together they thought you were undeniably guilty of staging. Oh my god
Frickin fly around the map dude fly around everyone's fighting
They felt very strongly so I know I think it could be interesting the people can watch it is in a video that I linked
I'm sure there will be some way maybe I should just read it's on the site too
But it's not the video quality isn't any different it's halo 3 overkill step and razor two for one mongoose modem guide rooster teeth you can
find what happened to that file by the way 240p how did i capture it so low i don't know it's not
like hd wasn't already around that must have been captured in at least 720 i would say so there you
have it face and there you have an audience uh. This is our first, and then Nick, if you could cut in some law and order or mystery type music right here.
First mystery!
F***face is going to solve the mystery, hopefully with the help of the comment leavers and the regulation listeners.
Is Gavin the cheat that we all suspect he is?
Let's get to the bottom of it.
Okay. Now we have our 2022 mystery. Let's get to the bottom of it. Okay.
Now we have our 2022 mystery.
This is our first true crime?
Yeah, this is our first.
I guess it'd be the murder of Gavin's honesty and character.
Okay.
Yes.
I would say not guilty based on my investigation,
but maybe people can go out with the information shared
and find stuff I didn't find.
I fully, fully condone delving in as deep as possible to this clip.
The truth will be clear.
As clear as 240p can be, yeah.
You did a great job, Andrew.
Unfortunately, the results are inconclusive.
You end up...
And this is the problem, I think, with...
Well, it's just strength and a weakness, right?
I think you tend to see the good in people,
which is a great human quality,
but as an investigator, it can cloud judgment.
The person that you involved in it was
convinced gavin cheated i am convinced gavin cheated basically uh everyone that's known gavin
for most of his life is convinced he cheated take that for what it's worth but maybe the audience
can help uh can help us elucidate this matter that would be great any additional information
would be awesome i hope those things get posted at the end of the month so i can go in and look
at specifically the stats
because I feel like that could also be a big indicator of things.
Here's what we need.
Here's what we need.
You know how we have the phenomenal Vancouver Childkicker poster
that you can put up with information about the Vancouver Childkicker
if you can contact us?
We need a Did Gavin Cheat banner that people can put up,
like a poster, a flyer.
People can put up a coffee shops.
If you have information on Gavin, whether he cheated or not in this Halo game, can you
email bits at face pod dot com or whatever it is?
I don't even know what our address is.
I want I want to just a billboard of the names when Gavin shows the lobby of this thing,
that 240p pixely thing on a giant billboard.
Just people complaining, it making no sense.
No context, no information, just the worst billboard ever made.
Not enough 240p billboards out there.
That's weird.
I swear it wasn't 240p originally.
I think YouTube's like shat the bed on that video
it's so old
it was like the base file
as you said I think Halo 3 was 720p
so I think somehow in the transferring
process and Gavin was
so ahead of the game in tech
back then too that the only way that video could be
240p if he knew that that was the only
way that he could adequately obscure
the game tags so that no further investigation could be done.
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I have one other mystery
that I've been sitting on a little bit
in my personal life.
So I fixed, the bed is fixed.
I've talked about this before.
I just, the box spring arrived.
Oh.
I gained a box spring.
I lost a bed frame.
My bed frame is now broken.
You're off the slats.
I'm off the slats.
I've upgraded from the slats.
Built it like it's all good.
It was the night it was finished. I laid down in bed. I was very comfortable and
I was just looking at the Play Store and I decided I'm gonna buy this shitty $2 mobile game
Why not? This seems like a great time
So I go to buy it and they asked me to put in my gmail password for it
And I don't remember what it is and I have it saved on my computer
But I just didn't feel like getting up out of bed.
I just laid down.
I was cozy.
So I just guessed.
I was like, I'm just going to guess.
I've got like six or seven in my head that I think it could be.
So I just go through the list of those.
And none of them work.
And then it gets to the point where it's like, hey, you've run out of tries.
You can't try anymore.
Do you want to reset your password?
I don't need to reset my password because I can easily. It's it's fine. I don't necessarily need this two dollar mobile game.
But I was like, you know what? I don't even this is how little I feel like getting out of bed right
now. I'm just going to reset my password and then it's fine that I can just buy this thing.
So I reset my password. No problem doing it. Go through the thing thing ask me to verify code it sends it to my alternate
email great awesome new password when you sign out of or change a password on like a gmail account
and you have two-factor authentication on it uh it signs you out everywhere as soon as you do it
yeah so i change my password then i go to sign into my account and it says okay we need to verify this is you
we have pushed an alert to your your google pixel click yes and you're in and nothing comes there's
there's just nothing shows up on my pixel so i'm like okay that didn't work try again so then it
says okay we'll text you we'll text you at this number and then put in the code it's my last phone
number for some reason i never changed my phone number it's my previous phone number and i'm like oh fuck okay we'll try again
so i click try again and this is okay we're gonna email you a verification code to the email you're
locked out of just put that in and then you're all good it for some reason has just decided my
alternate email doesn't exist i have hacked my own account i
cannot get into my gmail i lost access to my gmail sunday night i have yet to be able to get back in
i kept trying to the point where it said you can no longer attempt to even recover this email
but i'm in a stage now where i've given them alternate information and they're like we will
get back to you after 48 hours which is a really weird phr're like, we will get back to you after 48 hours,
which is a really weird phrasing of when we'll get back to you
because it could be months from now.
I don't know when I'm going to get my personal email back
and all I wanted to do was download a $2 Rockstar or Rock Band clone.
It was a dumb mobile game and I've lost everything.
All because your bed was too comfy?
All because my bed was too comfy and i fixed it
and i just it fucking is crazy to me that they will not recognize that i have an email that isn't
the fact it keeps saying we'll send you verification code to your email that you're trying to get into
is insane and i'm sure that that's my fault i somehow fucked that up at some point but just
there's another email there that
you asked me for when i changed my password why have you now decided that that isn't valid
this has been my pain i don't know what to do i didn't even know i don't ever memorize my own
phone number so i didn't remember what the number was so that's why on slack a few days ago i passed
i posted hey do any of you guys have a number that ends with these
numbers how do you not remember your phone number so i i do do you need it no i remembered that on
amazon they have numbers saved with previous addresses so i was able to find it that way
the reason why i don't remember my phone number gavin is because my dad took my number when i was
a teenager he was paying for my phone plan,
and he was getting rid of one phone,
and he's like, yeah, I need your number.
So he just took my phone number,
and I just have refused to ever learn a number past that.
Ever since that point, I just don't.
It's such an annoyance.
Wouldn't your friends at the time text your dad by accident?
No, I never used my phone. I'm not not a phone guy nobody i interacted with would text me use
different messaging services for that purpose um there are no texts going on so if i text your old
number am i talking to your dad no a number before you never knew that number i don't think i don't
think you were aware of that phone number so who am I texting if I text that number that you asked about?
That's the thing.
I don't know.
And my hope is that I don't know if that number is even in service.
So it's like maybe I should just call the number and see if somebody's there.
Because if I can get the code from them, then I'm totally fine, I believe.
I don't think there's any other issues.
Should I call?
Just text that number and say, hey, can you
just post the code you're about to get to
this number? But they can ignore
the text. I don't know.
They can ignore that text
or they could answer it. You'll never know.
You'll contact
anybody on earth. You would
try to contact the president for an interview
if you could, but you're scared to contact the
owner of your old phone? Just text them right now well it's the texting mechanism is what i don't trust
like i don't if it's not act like what if it's just not active i'm just wasting my time and i'm
mad at this non-existing person and if it's not active i think i theoretically could get that
number back if i went back to the previous company I was getting service for.
That's interesting.
There have been times where I've been locked out of accounts
and then I've just copied the email.
I recreated the email that didn't exist.
And then I was able to get in because I was sending
it to the new email that I made that was labeled.
I'm going to call. I'm going to call. Let's see if this is...
You're going to call now?
Yeah.
Okay.
The number you are calling unavailable please try again later
that oh oh that's a phone that is off or not in service i think yeah unfortunate okay well no
that's actually kind of a positive because i can then yeah if it doesn't have a voicemail it's it's
it's been gone a while i think yeah probably i'm gonna look into this
i'm gonna i'm gonna see if i can get my old number back but that has been my annoyance is the fact
that i essentially hacked into my own account and google is protecting me from getting into my
account you should try to get that number quickly as quickly as possible before i get it
before i figure out how to get it no you would care because you'll never you'll never get that
fucking code i guarantee you that i'm i don't know if yeah i don't know if you want to go to
war jeff i'd find a way retaliate i know you would i know you would port-a-potty's just the
beginning yeah i wouldn't mess with them that's wave one should i talk about the
absolute face i did to myself last night in bed oh i'm so excited oh god dude please yeah i just
had probably the shortest duration face the most instant face that i've ever experienced
go on i was in bed uh trying to watch um not to talk about bo burnham again but
i was trying to watch his show that just went on netflix from ages ago uh with mech and the apple
tv remote is an utter piece of shit i don't know if you've experienced this turd um i've had so
many experiences where like the skip ahead 10 seconds
and the skip back 10 seconds on this on the time on the on the sides just stop working after a
while like i've i've had these replaced before i'm at i'm at the point with this one where i'm just
like this is so bad you so the clicks on the side stop working so it doesn't skip back 10 seconds
each time so you end up trying to actually like manually
moving the playhead on a video around that it just skipping all over the place and i'm getting
annoyed i'm like this shitty thing and meg's laughing at me because i complain about this
damn thing constantly so she's making fun of me that i just don't do anything about it um and i
like to do things just rat like i like to surprise megan quite extreme ways sometimes for example she recently
told me um that i've been wearing a shirt too long because it had a hole in it and she's been
staring at this hole for years so i just put my finger through it and just tore the shirt off my
body like i hulked out of it and she thought that was funny so i thought you know i'm gonna i'm gonna
do something about this apple remote so in the middle of the conversation of me complaining about this apple remote i just out of nowhere snapped it in half i just snapped it right down the middle
and what it felt like was that someone threw a cup of sand in my face and then i just heard
what sounded like sand raining all over both of us and the bed. Turns out they're made of glass!
The whole thing is glass!
I shot tiny shards of glass
into my eyes and face
all over both of us,
raining down on the entire bedroom
at like 11pm,
and I've just sat there with glass in my
hair and my chest hair in my in my cup of tea on my nightstand
so i'm like wow one actual definition of face I shot myself in the foot
because just for
a joke what an idiot
I had to strip the bed sheets
I'm there I've got
I'm hoovering up I'm hoovering up this
tiny like sand glass
from the entire room I can't find a
single piece of floor that doesn't look like
it's covered in glitter changing the sheets we're laughing about it first then after like you know 10 minutes we're just
like oh what a move right like what a what a turn we're like winding down for the evening
uh so then i'm putting the sheets on i'm putting the replacement sheets on
dragging the sheets over the bottom corner of the bed pushing down suddenly i just hear it
and my face hits the bed i tear the brand new bed sheet i'm putting it on around the mattress
my face hits the bed i'm on my knees at this point and i'm just like i need to i need to go to bed
i don't know what's wrong with this sort of 30 minute period, but I'm not having a good time in it.
It's everything's going wrong.
So those are my bed problems.
My bed face from last night.
Do you think,
do you think they were unrelated or do you think one related to like you
connected because of the remote that you somehow you,
what if your fingers had thousands of tiny microscopic
pieces of glass embedded in there and now
you just have like razor hands
and you ripped the sheets with your little tiny
shark tooth fingers. Gavin glass
hands. I honestly had glass
all over my head.
That thing
I highly
I highly recommend when you get annoyed at that thing, just put it in the
bin.
Don't do that to it.
You guys gotta stay away from your bedrooms, they're dangerous.
Yeah.
How's your bedroom been recently, Geoff?
It's fine.
It's totally fine.
No problems, no issues.
Don't even wanna talk about it.
You fucking cut a hole through your bed with your your glass hands i know that's unbelievable
so it's a shitty remote but if you want to turn into wolverine very cheaply
yeah all you have to do if you need a weapon quickly just snap one of those puppies
you can be it's like you know how like the j the Joker would leave a Joker card at the scene of the crime?
Gavin Glass hands,
slices a hole in the front right corner
of the bed.
That didn't disappoint.
You can still see in stuff though, right?
You don't have glass in your eyes?
You're okay? it's a trade you have no vision but you can cut through any bed you want
so that's why i text you last night uh i just faced the shit out of myself you said podcast
story i said yes just change the bed sheets. You said, tomorrow's gonna be incredible.
Oh, and I was right.
What makes me so happy is I was so cozy in bed
when I got that text.
I was just all comfortable, relaxed.
Yeah, I was about 20 minutes earlier.
Are you scared now that if you meet Bo Burnham,
he's just gonna die immediately,
or something horrible will happen to him
like you seem to have
this fandom for this person but every
engagement you have with them is a negative
in some way
this remote has not been working on many
more shows than this Bo Burnham show
but I don't think they're related
what's the breaking point
we're gonna find out that Gavin is the carrier
of a disease that only bull burn him
I mean just to be sure I'll try and
avoid him unfortunately but yeah as long
as I can still watch his according to
his content he's had a hard enough man
he doesn't need you in his life oh oh
he's like he's like an alien from war of the worlds and gavin is the one thing
yeah he hasn't been exposed to his next special is just called gavin can you imagine how disappointed
gavin would be if he found out that bo burnham liked the most recent matrix movie that would
everything there'd be nothing more disappointing remember that thing I said about
pleasantries never have them with Bo
spend as little time with him
as possible in the future
other people's opinions of movies aren't make or
break to the relationship they really be nothing
you said you wouldn't cease to
be my friend if I like that movie
I strongly I think I was just
trying to get you to watch the movie.
Why would that make me want to watch the movie?
That was dead an incentive.
I really didn't say that.
I was like, I don't think less of you as a person.
No, you said it would end our friendship
and you would cease to make this podcast.
Yes, you did.
You would disown anybody
that thought that that movie was great oh well if you
like that movie that's fine i just read no that's i just uh i just i just didn't really didn't like
it that's not a lot of people love it a lot of people love it i can see why they do i listen
when we were playing halo trevor brought up that he enjoyed it and it sounded like a real tiptoe
enjoyed because he knew the bear was there.
The Matrix bear was there, and he would not tolerate.
Gavin would not allow.
I'm not here to guard the fourth Matrix.
Gavin Glass' hands would be all over him
if he said he enjoyed that film.
I should watch it now.
Well, now that I know that it won't end our friendship,
I might watch it.
No, I really, I hope you like it.
I hope you do.
I'm sad that I didn't.
Maybe that's our next tuxedo watching.
I still haven't heard back from the director of the tuxedo.
I sent him one more email yesterday.
My last one.
I'm hopeful, but I don't think we're going to get it.
I'm telling you, you have created an enemy.
I don't want an enemy.
I want a friend, Jeff.
I'm trying to make a friend.
Well, you're going about it in a weird way.
Yeah, don't insult someone and give them your phone number.
That's not how you make friends.
You know the only movie you were lucky enough to make in your life?
We made fun of it.
Do you want to be my friend?
I didn't.
I understand what you're saying.
When you say it on paper. It is a terrible idea.
But genuinely, I was hoping for a friendship with the director of the Tuxedo.
And I still think it's possible.
I still believe.
I had a movie blunder of my own this week.
I was, I was trying to watch, um, I wanted to watch Beer Fest because Jeff said it had
that moment where the guy dies and then his brother comes along and
but just is that guy sure yeah yeah I was like 80 minutes into the movie and I was like
when's this guy gonna show up realized I was watching beer league which is already laying
movie oh my god I was like 18 minutes into that.
I was like, oh, shit.
It was beer fest.
Oh, dude.
Beer.
Oh, wow.
You're 80 minutes in?
To Beer League?
Very similar sounding films.
Yeah, no, it's true.
And they came out around the same time, too, actually.
Yeah.
Beer League.
Oh, man.
Beer League is no dirty work. I'll say League. Oh, man. Beer League is no Dirty Work, I'll say that.
Oh, yeah.
No, it was Dirty Work, a much better movie.
Hey, did we ever talk about how you guys probably killed Betty White?
I won't take that one.
That was, I mean, maybe considering the timing of when the episode came out,
but when we actually talked about Betty White
It wasn't really anywhere near that. No. This is quite a long time ago. We killed Truly Scrumptious
No doubt about it. That was like the next day, but yeah, do you think it would be
Would it be a bad taste to just like say
Would that be bad?
No, I'm just you know what andrew's trying to fucking kill
no guys like a national treasure what are you doing listen i'm not the one with glass
all over my hands right now i'm just i'm saying i was bringing up a name why would you risk
no can we just he was the he was the first person to survive COVID, for Christ's sake.
Yeah, didn't we use his blood?
I love...
Well, stop saying his name!
Stop saying his name!
I'm a big fan.
What's wrong with you?
I'm a big fan.
I'm just trying to...
Of all people you could pick, you could pick, like, the most beloved guy in Hollywood?
Oh!
I was just saying, like, wouldn't that be sad if that happened?
What are you doing? Oh, stop!
Why do you keep saying it?
I, um,
well, who, um... It doesn't work
that way. If you want to kill somebody,
they don't die. It's only people that
you like, and I love...
This is great. I love
Stop! Stop saying it!
Uh, I haven't liked his most recent films how about that is that okay
like i didn't see a lot of them the hologram and the kings i like i didn't see that the circle
is that what the the internet movie was that he was in with with oh boy i said another one
oh no how do i navigate this i mean it doesn't work intentionally so hopefully he's safe yeah
yeah no i'm sure it's fine it's also all bullshit none of this matters so i don't know what we're
doing well that's true oh it's obviously uh sure obviously obviously complete bullshit
but still complete there's still all that does is say something about you
are there anything that you're supernatural about like that like you have a routine What that does is say something about you.
Are there anything that you're supernatural about?
Like that, like you have a routine?
Like what's a routine thing for you that like doesn't actually make sense,
but you feel is true?
Something that you believe is true even though it isn't.
Yeah, like a little superstition.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't walk under ladders,
but that's nothing to do with superstition.
It's just someone could drop something on your head.
Yeah, when a stick has fallen from the sky and hit you,
I can understand having a general not trust of things from above.
I must have some.
I just can't think of any.
Really?
Not a single superstition?
Not that it's born out of fear.
I do a lot of stuff out of routine like i draw a like a
little face in the shower on the wind like in the glass every shower i take and i can't really
shower until i do yeah could you recreate the shower outside of the shower can it only be in
the shower that you feel just only in the steam of a shower then i draw the little little face
i've been doing it for years. Every shower I've taken.
I don't know why but now I have to do it because
I've been doing it.
It's been like 1200 days. Where are the ears?
There's no ears.
What type of mouth?
You don't look up in a shower.
No you...
It depends.
Is your back facing... If your back is
then looking up is nice.
It's really a positional look's a positional look up but not all scenarios speak you know what hey something i want to talk about i don't think gavin is aware of this we have we have
faced speaking of celebrities we have faced our own our own thing our own what we've we've predicted has come true gavin
are you i know it's a terrible way of setting that up
what is the uh fuck this is so fucking funny to me this is so funny to me it's very funny so
i'm sure it is you Are you going to say it?
Yeah, I'm getting there.
Give me a minute.
John Cena is making a Peacekeeper podcast on the Rooster Teeth Network.
Yeah.
And it was recently reported on by Variety.
The Variety magazine.
The Variety, one of the highest profile entertainment magazine in
in LA in Hollywood I would say
that wrong it's definitely top
three Variety and Hollywood Reporter would be
the they're the only games in town
they're the top ones
so it's a mention of that this podcast is going
to be made by Rooster Teeth and then in a part
of it there's an excerpt that says
other podcasts from Rooster Teeth
produced from studios in LA
and Austin, Texas include
Face Jam, Off Topic
Black Box Down
Red Web
and the long running Rooster Teeth podcast
which now numbers more than 500
episodes. We were left off that
list. We were not
included.
Really
really f*** faced ourselves there i wonder
if we should just run an ad for face on the john cena podcast that would can we do that that'd be
great if that's the thing we can do i i think going forward any mention of variety nick make
sure you bleep part of it yeah make sure it's bleep we're no longer we got a sensor part of
their neck so like right now i'm saying 80 like that doesn't come through unbleaped no there's at least a bleep in it any any time
we also should have bleeped all of no yeah let's bleep all of going forward this is how they'll be
known the star star rioty um i just love the idea that this like prestigious Hollywood writer company, whatever, they're looking at a list of things and that they have to decide if they're going to include face or not.
The fact that there needs to be some level of dialogue at some stage of this process in which they need to either make the decision to include a podcast named face or not at all when they didn't, which I get it.
Understand completely.
But it's hilarious.
I told Andrew last night that it or whenever we talked about it, that it was kind of a perfect virtuous moment because I got so fucking infuriated, like furious, like I was going gonna yell at people upset that we weren't in it
that we didn't get that we got uh one of the you know no offense to those other podcasts they're
all great but you know we're larger than most of them and and we're doing very well for ourselves
uh considering our name and uh in spite of our name and then i realized that this is why I wanted to name it F*** Face, because I wanted to
F*** Face ourselves, right?
And the fact that I got so angry in such a brief little window of time because we were
excluded from that moment means that the podcast is so successful that it means this much to
me that it made me mad, which made me happy
because then I thought, oh, so we've arrived.
We've made it.
We're successful enough that I'm mad
when we don't get mentioned.
So it was like a perfect moment
where I went from anger to bliss like that.
Just to, I pause, Gavin.
Let me continue from the story.
Okay.
Rooster Teeth also operates the roost podcast network
which features partners such as the h3 podcast this might get weird with grace how big and
mammary heart philip defranco is a conversation with and kind of funny they name every other
podcast not even ones directly affiliated with they name all of them and to be clear this isn't
for me at all a thing of like we
deserve to be on there that's why i'm annoyed by it i love the idea just because of our name alone
that we have to be in those conversations and they have to have meetings in which they include
do we do we talk about this yeah it's like reading that you know we've been explicitly ignored
there's no way they could have missed us undeniably excluded like without a doubt
maybe they're just saving it maybe they're gonna do an exclusive face interview an article
dedicated to the podcast and they're just saving it maybe when uh the director of the tuxedo directs
the child kicker movie we can get into variety through that be the perfect transition to hollywood
connection right together it is funny though this name like because the company there are people at
the company who have real jobs and doing like you know real analytics trying to see what's working
looking at the growth and faces on those like with graphs and stuff and like projections and
it's like yeah why it's
called face of course it's not gonna be of course it can't be huge what do you want
read the name
it makes me it's the best part it's i think a fair trade of searchability versus the hilarity
of anybody having anyone that has to deal with the name of our show or any part
of it that is outside of it brings me eternal happiness it makes me laugh every time it's great
did you see what nick typed when the director of the tuxedo falls a restraining order against
andrew will finally make it in the variety i will say unfortunately we wouldn't be the first face in variety I was curious
so I looked on their thing there is one
opinion article about something
Bill Maher said in like 2011
in which they quote him as saying
so it wouldn't be the first so they're not
opposed to writing that
at least in 2012 they weren't
and they didn't even censor it like us
classy individuals we are
we've done the work
for them we even bleep it in our own show couldn't be classier about it i think it's time andrew that
you reached out to uh it and see uh see what the hell's going on over there yeah gotta investigate
i just i'd love war on all media war on all media yeah we talked about that we did we should just write an email where that
is the subject line war on all media this name keeps delivering it does or preventing deliveries
we keep fucking ourselves it's uh it's kind of perfect i enjoy hearing different takes on the
name like bleep face and Some people say bleep face.
Some say F face.
Some say the actual name of the show.
Hearing the different takes.
I always find interesting.
I would like to.
I haven't told many people.
If you've recommended this guest in person to somebody, I'd like to know what that story is. The read like the expression read when telling somebody you should listen to and then name of show.
Am I alone?
No, I was just imagining that scenario.
I realized that that prevented me from saying anything,
but I was just picturing it.
No, yeah.
You guys both fucking vanished off the face
to the point where I thought the law had once again won.
I thought I was dealing with another law issue.
We were here.
And I was just in the moment.
Yeah, I was just listening to you, man.
You're that interesting.
Well, I would bring up another podcast for a moment.
Gavin mentioned on the Rooster Teeth podcast
that somebody he knows listened to a really broken episode
because there were talks about it being one of our best episodes.
So it was their first experience with it.
And you brought up so many great points that I didn't even consider where
the first 10 minutes of that episode is us yelling about the law,
a thing that we never talk about within the episode itself.
You have had to have listened to the previous one that any context,
we never explained what that is.
Then it transitions into a visual gag
yeah all the jack's car stuff which you can't see then it goes into a discussion about the plane
window where we don't explain the original scenario again it's also a holdover from the
week before and he was like this is the shittiest podcast i don't know anything that's happening
i've been listening for half an hour.
Nothing's happening.
What are you talking about?
It's a mess.
And I never even think about that.
But it's absolutely fair. Our quote best podcast is probably the worst introductory podcast you could possibly submit to a friend.
Unless you give a cheat sheet.
We should make a cheat sheet for that podcast.
Here's what you need to know to listen to this podcast. That's like a pop-up video style cheat sheet we should make a cheat sheet for that podcast here's what you need to know to listen to
this podcast that's like a pop-up video style cheat sheet that's interesting uh also i think
that you i don't remember it was recently i think in a podcast you i thought perfectly nailed it
when you described this podcast as deep lore about nothing i can't think of another episode that better exemplifies deep lore about nothing
than what you just described.
Yeah. Yes.
It's great.
I feel like if you... Did we even do
an intro? No, Gavin!
Gavin, you did an intro! Awesome!
Holy fuck! You did an intro!
Hey, I bet you ten grand I've done an intro.
Wait.
Did we put a... No. Can an intro. Wait, did we put a...
No.
Can someone check the tapes?
Did we put a cap to that?
You can't just do that now.
There's no way that that's allowed.
I now owe you a pencil and 10 grand.
What continues to be left on the redemption docket are we getting the marathon
and the pencil this year what's happening uh marathon is is in the docket it is it's like
it's a thing that will i honestly the thing of the marathon i want to find a way that i can update my
progress live i feel like that'd be the most fun way to track that and i haven't been able to find
a device that would do that in a way that anyone could look at. Like if you could just
pull it up like a live
distance tracker.
Can't you do the Strava app?
Or one of those? I don't know what that is.
Those are like fitness apps that you
can record. Yeah, that's a track.
Yeah, we can get you.
It's going to cost you about two bucks on a
cell phone. You're going to need a Google account though
so we'll need to work that out first.
That is an issue.
I want to redo Donkey Kong Country,
or whatever, Donkey Kong 64.
Yeah.
On your Android the Donkey Kong guy?
No, well I made a f*** face Twitch account
because you and I were going to do another Halo thing
and then you just never agreed to another level to work on.
Oh, right.
So it left dormant.
So I'd probably do it on that,
not Andrew the Donkey Kong guy.
What else is in the redemption?
Are those the main things?
Well, let me put this to you.
You know the overkill achievement in Halo 3?
Yes.
Did you cheat to get it?
Almost certainly.
Like, almost without a doubt.
Like, almost undeniably, I would have probably cheated.
Yeah, like, without a doubt.
But I'm not lying about it.
That's the difference.
Neither am I!
But you're one of the best gamers I know.
It would be relatively simple for you to get it.
Yeah, you wouldn't need to do that.
I was excited to get it because I'm me.
And an overkill is like a once-a-quarter occurrence to me.
I think... I'm trying to remember
because there was a time
I may have gotten that achievement twice.
And I think the second time
I guess I'll have to check.
I'll check my old gamer tag
to see if I got it.
I think I may have got it
legitimately on that one.
But the second time
I definitely would have cheated.
I'm all about efficiency
when it comes to achievements.
Who cares about the legitimacy of them? You guys are going to talk about legitimacy when it comes to achievements who cares about the legitimacy
of them
you guys are going to talk about legitimacy when I carried you through
countless destiny raids where you literally
it's a weird point
we did stuff we shot guns
we stayed alive
a minor amount of damage
so you could respawn
we prevented a wipe by standing in a corner that is true no look i'll give all of destiny to you
but halo 3 all me baby i will say we did give gavin an opportunity to truly redeem himself
because there was like a week when this conversation happened that he could go into
halo 3 and try to get another overkill legitimately and as as far as I know, he didn't boot it up once.
I even recommend that he try that.
Yeah, I just don't have a 360 handy.
You don't need one. It's backwards compatible.
Oh.
Don't need one. Wait, what was the point of getting the 360 then?
Uh, I don't know why
he did that, but he did it, and I wasn't gonna
argue about it, but he just decided to, and I was like
that's fine. I appreciate his effort.
I absolutely. Without a doubt. I'll decided to. I appreciate his effort. Absolutely.
Without a doubt. I'll get one.
I'll do it.
The servers are down.
What do you mean? I could get it in Master Chief Collection. I don't know if that's
the same. How's that not the same?
I don't...
The whole reason
I was impressed at the time is that
Lone Wolves was five. Let me clarify my point before you get mad at me further. I literally don't know if it's the same i'm not saying the whole reason it was i was impressed the time is that the lone wolf was five let me clarify my point before you get mad at me further i literally don't know if
it's the same like i'm not saying it isn't the same it's very possible it's like it's emulation
but i don't know if it's yeah like it's a different engine like i don't know what the
yeah i'm not sure about the exact conversion of those things or if it's like a different halo
engine is what i'm saying if you get get it, I'd love to see it.
Next week, I want to see an overkill from you in Halo
on the Master Chiefs Collection. Next week? Damn, I'm not very
good at Halo.
Get out of here.
You're good at Halo.
We almost, you fucking... I'm Platinum 1.
The race we did was
very competitive. I thought you were
going to win, honestly.
I got lucky, I think. You say you're Platinum 1 like that doesn't mean something. I thought you were going to win. Honestly, I got lucky. I think you say you're platinum one.
Like that doesn't mean something.
I'm rubble for
like platinum.
One sounds amazing to me.
Gloss three.
Yeah.
That's behind a paywall.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Well,
I,
this seems like probably a place where we should stop talking
now that we did uh we did a pretty good one there i think that's fun oh yeah i liked it
everybody talk about everything they wanted to talk about um i have a thing but it's kind of
tied to my email account so i can't actually discuss it but is is that why you haven't heard
back from uh donovan thank god i'm emailing him on my work email.
Oh, good.
That would be horrendous if it was on my personal.
I'd be much more upset about losing that if it was personal.
I have a couple things.
Well, one of them is pretty long, so we'll get into it at some other point.
Yeah, why don't we next time?
Yeah, remind me to talk about the Infinity Pie.
That's easy.
And then Sonic branding.
But I will say,
I assume you guys saw the Kids Eat Free on Zim Day
picture that came out recently.
Yes.
Which is maybe the greatest image
I've ever seen in my entire life.
Gavin, are you familiar with this?
Oh, let me find it.
So I was trying to look into what Zim Day is.
From my understanding,
every home game in the 82
season was Zim Day, so I've been meaning to update
my calendar to make sure I have every Zim Day
listed so I can appropriately
celebrate. How many Zim Days in a year?
How many home games are there in a
baseball season, Jeff? Uh, there'd be
82?
Jesus! So there's 82 Zim Days
in a year. How many baseball games in a season
total?
double that?
164 I think yeah oh my god are you serious?
yeah I'm gonna put this in the discord
imagine having a season ticket
I mean baseball
starts
it starts in April and it ends in like
at the end of October
but you could be committing basically every other day of the year
on average I like that Gavin's perspective of like at the end of October. But you'd be committing basically every other day of the year. On average.
I like that Gavin's perspective of it being difficult
is from the fans' angle, not the athlete.
Not that like having to physically participate in that many games.
He's like, how do you have the time to go watch these things?
Well, I mean, most of the world are the fans, not the players.
Look at that photo, Gavin.
Don Zimmer, chicken, chicken wing in one hand, of the world are the fans not the players look at that photo gavin don zimmer chicken
chicken wing in one hand bowl of chicken wing in the other some popcorn under the elbow
kids pointing at something shocking all the kids seem shocked by what's happening and zimmers just
couldn't be happier giant grin on his face they're looking at different shit yeah no also it's funny to think that those kids are older than us oh my god i wonder if we can find
out who they are and what ask what it was like to sit next to them that's such a good idea the next
mystery to solve i would have been seven so these kids are probably in the 10 to 12 range,
right? So you could have been one of these
kids if you were in the right place. I was a little
young, but yeah, I guess I could have been if I'd have been
a Texas Rangers fan back in the day
and living in Texas. God, I want some
chicken here, though.
It's disturbing that I can see
his chair, but the kid
to the right of him doesn't
have one. It kind of has a very like they're
in heaven vibe which is not what you want to go they've all died it feels like they fall this is
zimmer in heaven right now eating chicken wings laughing at gavin breaking his apple 2 remote
covering himself in glass that kid is pointing at the hole that Gavin just created in the bottom.
Can you believe he just broke his bed down too?
We should make sure they're side by side in the Instagram post.
I would love the idea that somewhere in heaven,
Don Zimmer is sitting on white bleachers with a bunch of little kids eating chicken wings and just watching
Gavin go through life laughing
and pointing at every interesting thing that happens.
He ordered another
record of the
Zimmer... Never mind.
Never mind. It was such a good setup
and I just fucked... I sucked.
Try it again. End the show.
No. No. I crashed the plane.
I went nose first. I missed the runway. It's no. I crashed the plane. I went nose first.
I missed the runway.
It's over.
There's no recovering from that.
I yelled the wrong name.
I forgot what a record was called.
I did roll.
I've crashed several times.
There's no recovery.
I'm just dead.
I'm dead.
Cover that, f***iety.
All right.
All right.
What?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why is that the message?
Cover it.
Oh.
I don't know.
I'm just mad.
The war on media.
I'm mad at them.
I like it.
You just died on air.
Comedy just died.
That bit just died on air. I feel died. That bit just died on air.
I feel like it should get some media coverage.
Between that and trying for five straight minutes to kill.
All right.
Like and subscribe.
Wait, we're not done?
I just stopped recording.
What?
What do you mean we're not done?
No, we're done.
Yeah, we're done now.
Hey there.
It's minor league fan jack here
with a look at next week's episode of face the boys head to bojangles coliseum andrew loves happy
meals the guys discuss meal hacks the knob versus handle discussion returns and once again andrew
does not eat the pencil all that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.