F**kface - Xmas Movie Draft

Episode Date: December 9, 2023

Just hear the sleigh bells jingling as ANEGG get together for a new draft, this time picking the greatest Xmas movies of all time. Is the number 1 pick TRULY number 1? What would your draft board look like? You watching these? Don't bother putting the cookies out for Santa because F**kface is bringing the goods this year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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of it that's why you're here hello and welcome to a christmas smorgasbord movie draft special you know when we do our drafts, like we did the, man, somebody asked me, I was hanging out with Antonio and Bernie last night playing trucks, and they asked me, I was talking about having to do the draft today, and they said, like, explain what it is. And I went, okay, well, it's like,

we've done these other drafts, we've done, and I realized I couldn't remember a single draft except for the mall draft. How many other ones have we done? Five or six, maybe? Yeah, rock, not rock. Rocks, that was one. What are some of the other ones have we done uh five or six maybe yeah rock not rock rocks that was one what are some of the other ones uh i got mall draft we did them all movies yeah uh summer 98 yeah the summer 98 movies states ads tv ads um yeah falls that was our first one oh the falls draft god i couldn't remember any of those.

Clearly left a big impression on me. Speaking of big impressions, though, today we're going to be drafting our favorite... Is it our favorite Christmas movies, or do we think the most iconic Christmas movies? How do we phrase it? I think the best Christmas movies, in our opinion. Okay, that tracks with what I selected,

so that works. I think it's sort of up to you to decide. Do you want to try to win this and go for what you think are more popular picks, or do you want to be more true to yourself and what's in your top four? I'm in it to win. Okay, I'm excited. Luckily for me, both things are true at the same time. Ooh, look at Jeff.

Man of the people. Mr. Culture. the same time oh oh look at Jeff man of the people mr. culture personal interests perfectly connect with also popular interests we'll crazy so we're gonna do we're gonna determine draft order I have a little bit of a spin a little twist to this draft process the the picking order that is gonna run by you guys blindside well a blindside. I've talked to most, I think I've talked to everyone about this, except maybe Gavin. Oh. So we're going to do the randomizer right now,

which is what Eric pulled up. We're going to randomize the names, and then whoever is at the top when we randomize it however many times, they're first, typically. Instead of that being the first pick, they get to pick where they want to draft. So let's say i'm at the top i can say i want to pick third and then it goes to the second person and then they pick where

they want to draft and we just go down the line that would necessarily complicate no because there's a strategic edge to this no i think in my opinion there is a top two in this draft but in the music draft I'd want to be five how about this I'd like how about this so I like where you're going with it I'd like to add one more twist to it okay when you get picked you get to pick what order you draft in right yes that's what you're saying like like if I roll I get first I can say like uh Gavin goes first I get the second I get I can pick second, third, or fourth. What if instead of choosing where I go, can I pick where, can I move Gavin? Sure.

Why not? What? So, like, instead of me getting to pick my place in the draft, I can use that pick to move somebody else's place. But you still, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, because you still have to be on the board. This is why none of this works. No, you can't. I want to add that if you go fourth at the end of the draft, you can take someone's entire picks. Okay. Okay.

What? I like that. Why don't we do the last pick either has to live with what they have or they can take any pick. What? And everyone slides down from that point. A white elephant draft? Oh, I was just kidding because it's stupid.

If it helps, audience, I'm against this. So I'm with you guys. Let's just do my idea and then we'll... How about we evolve? Let's just start basic. Let's just do Andrew's idea. And then we'll go from there. So how many randomizers are we going to do?

What's a Christmassy number? 12. For the 12 days of Christmas. Okay. Okay. Oh, what's advanced modemasy number 12 for the 12 days of christmas okay okay oh what's advanced mode i don't know switch to advanced mode are we ready are we ready for advanced oh no that looks wait no no that's way too much we don't that's way too advanced we can use pre-randomization generated from a specific date, like Christmas Day. But I have to randomize this 12 times. Yeah, but randomize it from Christmas. Guys, if you were expecting a draft and you're about six minutes into this, really sorry we haven't gotten to it yet.

We're almost there. I'm going to go back to simple mode. Yeah. Oh, man. And I'm going to randomize 12 times. There's one. One. Two. He was excited. We said we're going to do it

12 times. He was excited on one. No, I'm going to cheer every time I'm at the top. Four. Hey. Five. Six. Hey. Eight.

Nine. Ten. Eleven. And here is 12. Hey. Okay, Gavin, which spot do you want to go in here? What are you going to pick? Well, first, obviously, it would be stupid to go anything other than first.

Yeah, no, 100%. I completely agree with you. I mean, Gavin, you're absolutely right. completely agree with you i mean gavin you're absolutely right see i think there's a top two and i wouldn't want first i'd want second so andrew do does andrew now pick his place i believe so i want second okay this this is about to turn into the biggest waste of time. We're dropping ourselves for the draft. Hey, hey, guys, I'm third.

I'm going to go ahead and pick three. See, I think that's a mistake. If I was third, I would go five. And here we go, Nick, you're fourth. Oh, take a big guess. I would go five. Nick, where do you want to be? I want to be four. Oh, that's fantastic. I mean go five. Nick, where do you want to be? I want to be four.

Oh, that's fantastic. I mean, Eric and Nick are both fools. Unfortunately. So now hold on a second. Hold on. Don't put my name down there yet. I get to pick. You told me that with my pick, I can pick what place I want.

No, no, no, no, no. We're not doing that. We're not doing that. We're not doing your unnecessarily complicated thing. We're starting with the base idea. No, you said I can pick where I want. I want to go first. No, you didn't hear correctly.

You could go back and listen later. We went back to the original idea. Yeah, rewind this about five minutes where we're still trying to figure out the rules for some reason of the draft order. But Nick is fourth, though, so he can pick anyone's full team. Right. Nick is fourth, so he can pick any full team. That's not what we're doing. A draft draft.

And everyone else has to compete in a sack race to see who goes next. Are you feel good about this, Andrew? I'm happy because I, in my head, top two, and then there's a big drop off, and I'd be, I would go five so I could get the five six. I want the turn. Now, once during the draft, we're allowed to use our pick

to cancel out someone else's pick, right? No. So then neither of us get a pick for that round? No. I'm enacting that. I don't want Andrew to pick in round one. I'm using that rule. That's too bad.

We can figure this out later. You can't just add rules like that in the middle of the draft. You just did it this fucking draft! No, I didn't. I did it before we started. I don't want him to pick in round two. Not during. You didn't even tell

Gavin about it until right now. So it couldn't have been official. Eric, do you want Andrew to pick in round three? I want everyone to pick in all of the rounds. I want to do the draft. I don't understand. The idea of reinventing the draft is so

insane. Well, he just made us draft ourselves for some reason. I know. No, you'll see. And look at what happens. We randomized 12 times Gavin, Andrew, Eric, Nick, Jeff and our picking order

after choosing where we go is Gavin, Andrew, Eric, Nick, Jeff. It's not my fault that three and four were dumb moves by you guys. It's not on me. No. You'll see. Just trust me.

This will work out. Maybe not this draft, but this will come into play. Maybe not this draft. Maybe not this draft. Well, because you guys don't have the vision that I have with this, so you all fell in the line. I picked

Die Hard. Gavin picks Die Hard. Oh, gavin picks die hard what a lame first pick dude listen don't be talking shit about that movie it's a good movie i'm not i'm sick i'm so i'm fatigued of arguing about whether die hard is a christmas movie i don't care there's no argument it's it's a christmas movie sure andrew andrew was saying before we started recording he was talking about how he's exhausted by the conversations about it and i kept saying we should probably save that for this recording because i don't think any of us are going to argue that it's not a christmas movie no i'm not going to argue it's not i'm just i'm more

i hate the people that argue here's the thing with die hard there are christmas movies that i want to watch uh multiple, maybe once every couple of Christmases. I'll watch Die Hard any time of the year, and that's why it's a great Christmas movie. I feel like you could argue that's why it's not a great Christmas movie. That's weird. It's a Christmas movie so good it stands tall and

proud in June. It can be two things at once. Jeff, it sounds like Andrew is arguing that it's not a Christmas movie. I'm not. I'm getting a hint of an argument. I'm not. No. You just presented a counter-argument to Gavin. That's step one in arguing.

I presented a counter-argument that it's the number one Christmas movie of all time, not that it is a Christmas movie or not. I'm just saying that if it plays so well out of season, maybe it's not the greatest Christmas movie of all time, but a good Christmas movie. Well, according to our draft that we all agreed upon, it is now officially the greatest Christmas movie of all time. We did it.

They're draft busts all the time, Jeff. Round one, pick one. Round one, pick one does not mean that that is going to be the best player and dude you can't call a proven success it's not greg odin we're not we don't have to wait and see if his knees are gonna hold up it's goddamn lebron james he's got 21 years of mvp stats behind him i know but i'm arguing more the lebron james versus michael jordan argument where they're both great but it's an opinion of whose greatness is better.

I'm saying I think there's other greatness that's ahead of Die Hard, in my opinion. Well, you're certainly in a position to tell us what the second best Christmas movie of all time is. See, this is the problem. I would have taken third if I knew that Gavin was going to go with Die Hard.

Well, how would you? That is the only movie I thought Gavin would pick. I've made some projections, by the way, based on how much time has been spent on the first pick and how many we have remaining. This will be a 176-minute record. Oh, God. It's going to take so long to edit.

It's almost as long as the Titanic. No, this is going to be easy. Nick, you just chop off the head and the tail and export. It's fine. So with my dog shit first pick, Andrew now wishes he was third pick. No, not dog shit. Yeah, I don't understand why.

He said that third and fourth were bad picks. And then he said that Gavin's number one pick was so bad it makes his number two pick bad. How does that make sense? No, no, let me explain. So I have a draft board right now and Die Hard is 20 on my list of 20 for my draft board. In my head there is a clear

top two and i assume that anyone who went first would take one of those two but they're both still on the board so i should have went to three i thought i needed to be in top two to make sure i got one of these but that was not the case crack rock what it sounds like to me is gavin's scout saw something different in training camp than you did. Yes. Yes, it is. I did. I have to decide. Oh, this is tough. I didn't even. Oh, 220 minutes. It wasn't 100.

Oh, man. These are. I'm really struggling with this first pick. Only 15 picks to go. Oh, shit. That's not even right. 15 picks to go. Yeah, that's what the maths I did wrong. I didn't realize I'm at 20. I timesed it by 16. I did the same thing.

I'm gonna go with and this is tough because I think there's another top pick. I'm gonna go with Christmas Vacation. It's an iconic Christmas movie. It is the first I think it's maybe the first time I like cried laughing at any piece of content as a kid the scene where he's putting up Christmas lights and he falls off the gutter and then he launches the gutter through the

neighbor's window the ice yeah yeah I could not I died I was it i have a clear memory of me sitting in bed watching that movie for the first time crying laughing to the point where i rewound it and re-watched it like eight times in a row and then watched it frame by frame still laughing because i just learned how to do that which is maybe influenced why i thought gavin pickett one of my first experiences trying to make anything slow motion. All time movie. I think we talked about it before as well, but I think one of the best shots ever filmed in any movie is his feet coming through the ceiling

and landing. Oh, it's so good. The scene where he fucking goes down the hill with the green stumps. Oh, it's so good. I gotta say, having seen that movie one zillion times, I love it. There's so many classic moments in it. But doesn't it feel 15 minutes too long to you?

I agree with that. Yes. Even though it's an old timer. It just really slows down when he gets nostalgic in the attic. It recovers with the feet falling through. But God damn, dude. If you could cut 20 minutes out of that movie, it would be amazing. I think it's probably the best use of the word

fuck and still being able to be like a PG movie where he says that they're gonna be like it's gonna be the happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap dance with Danny fucking K is so funny to me in like that little like he's just so fed

up that moment is so funny I still to this day in like, I don't know, like average parlance, I still say shit and rocks constantly. Like it's never left my vocabulary. We don't say that here. When he's dumping the septic tank and he just goes, shit is full with the cigarette. It's so, fuck, it's so funny.

That is great. It's on my list, but it's pretty far down my list because with my pick, I'm going with Love Actually, which is one of my favorite movies. Good pick. Are you serious? It's a Christmas movie, but one of my favorite movies of all time. I love Love Actually. Really? It's such a great movie.

What do you love about it? I think it's a great movie of so many different characters and so many different pieces that all come together that feel so Christmas to me. It's really fun. I feel it in my fingers. I feel it in my

toes. I just think it's a really great... I love Love Actually. I think it's a great movie. I think it's... One of my favorite Love Actually I think it's a great movie I think it's one of my favorite things about doing this draft is I would have never guessed that Eric really liked Love Actually that feels so out of character I just think it's such a fun movie I love it I would have thought that the best his favorite

thing about Love Actually is a wet wet wet song I think that there are so many like fun performances and so much goofy shit. The guys who are so British and then they're going to go to America and America's going to be like this magic land. It's so fucking funny.

That's how we think of it. It's so funny. I will say, I talked to TPG yesterday. His number one, Die Hard. He said he used to be a Love Actually guy, disavowed now, doesn't like the movie, rejects it thinks it doesn't hold up at all i mean it's just scenes i and i and i love all the scenes like what i

remember most about it and what i like most about it is watching it going oh i love this part and then the next part comes i go oh i love this part because it's just jumping around in a way that i really enjoy all right i don't like it in a lot of movies. I like it in that movie. Good pick. Thank you. Nick? I feel like I agree with you on that one

because that's the one I like that jumps from person to person with so many characters. So, tough call, but I think I'm going to go with a classic from childhood, but everybody loves it. It's fun for the whole family. Home Alone, right? Kevin McCallister stuck home alone right kevin mccallister

stuck home alone defending his homestead against the the wet bandits eventually the sticky bandits from the second movie um it's just one of those fun movies it feels like christmas even though it's like it doesn't have like that christmassy like tinge like oh here we're focusing on santa that kind of thing right we're focusing on the time that it's happening around it. It's just such a blast. I love it. It still holds up to me even though as a parent now I'm like, how?

How? The counting system does not work. Counting system doesn't work. Also, thank God for cell phones now. My pick? Home Alone. That was my number two. That was in my top two i think christmas vacation and home alone are without a doubt the one two well jeff as a snake draft uh you get two picks uh oh right right this is i'm in fifth place in first place uh so we're not gonna okay okay sounds good uh all right well you know obviously with

every christmas movie in existence to choose from, there's a lot of different directions you could go. I initially thought maybe I'd go like really old school and go like It's a Wonderful Life or Miracle on 34th Street or maybe something from my childhood, like a Christmas story.

But I decided to go with my heart and where I am as an adult right now at 48 years old and what I enjoy. And so I'm going with a newer movie. I don't know if you guys are familiar with the, with it or not. I hope you are, uh,

written by the, uh, country superstar, Blake Shelton's mom. Uh, he actually, he actually wrote a song about it. This is a,

it's a, it's a little movie, a little Hallmark movie called time for You to Come Home for Christmas from 2019. I'm sure you remember it's about Catherine. She returns home after her husband dies and then she meets a veteran and he's on kind of a holiday journey himself. And then as Christmas nears, they they form a bond and maybe find a miracle. Have you ever heard of this movie, Gavin? No, no, I've never heard.

OK. Oh, you should you should definitely check it out. It's apparently the fifth best Christmas movie of all time. I think I might know what the sixth pick might be as well. Oh, right. Is it time for me to go next? Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Whenever you're ready.

Round two. Way back in round one, I kind of I feel like i zagged i think i've maybe caught you guys off guard by throwing out a movie that you guys hadn't seen before uh you guys don't know this but i'm a big uh hallmark christmas movie fan my uh my wife does not like that about me she wants to watch christmas vacation and i have seen i've seen all those movies one billion times. So I want to see new stuff that I haven't seen before.

Which is how I came across Time for You to Come Home for Christmas, the 2019 classic that was written by Blake Shelton's mom. I think I mentioned that way back in round one. You did. So for round two, I'm going to continue to follow my heart. I'm going to go with the 2020 Hallmark classic, Time for Us to come home for Christmas. So he's just going to go.

What I appreciate about Jeff is that he wants to watch new things. So he watches the same movie with a different title over and over again, which is what the Hallmark movies are. No, no, it's not the same movie. It's a spiritual successor. And if I'm not wrong,

I believe it's based on a different Blake Shelton song and and this one has some fucking heavy hitters in it it's got I'm sure everybody remembers Lacey Schabert from Party of Five she's in it Lacey Schabert yeah there you go

Stephen Hussar the original Meg that's right yeah there you go. So, you know, it's a very different story. It's about five guests that... Yo, five guests get mysteriously invited to an inn to celebrate Christmas. With the help of the owner, Ben, Sarah discovers that an event from the past

connects them and changes all their lives forever, dude. Forever? Forever. That's totally different from the previous movie, which was about a widow meeting a soldier and then they form a bond i you could do it nine times in a row i think i will laugh every time someone says everyone remembers and then they say the name wrong that's the funniest thing

that was great much like your picks Jeff great picks Gavin you're next oh it's Nick this is a tough call because I feel like there's a couple I could go with that you may not pick so I'm going to take a risk and I'm going to move this one up in my draft pick

the Muppet Christmas Carol one of my favorite kids movies and it's still still so good I just watched it The Muppet Christmas Carol, one of my favorite kids' movies. And it's still so good. I just watched it and my son saw it for the first time. It's such a fun movie. You've got Gonzo who's playing an omniscient Charles Dickens character in it. And Rizzo's just along for the ride getting in trouble and having a bad time.

All the little rats working for Scrooge. And Michael Caine is Scrooge. It's so good. My name is Appadiza. Please spare me. God damn it, Nick. You got my 2 and 3. Oh, no! I guess 4 wasn't so bad, and...

No, that was... Yeah, get him, Nick, get him! I could not have predicted a double hallmark on the end and a fucking die hard and love actually in the first round. Um, well then let me get to something a little more conventional. I like that.

Andrew starts all these drafts with like a mental plan for how it should go for other people. And is that surprised every time when it's like, Whoa, that's not what I would have picked. No, this is what I've learned. I have assumed every time that we all have the same board, and I now

going into the next draft, I will think about what picks you all will make. I just, I really appreciate that you think we all have a board. Yeah. I do. You don't have a list of 20? No! 20? Oh, just in case.

I have like seven picked, I think. Yeah, I got like six. I got one for every scenario, just in case. I already lost one. Yeah, there you go. No, I lost two, actually. I've lost two. Okay, well, let's see how this one does.

From 1965, I'm going to go with a Charlie Brown Christmas. Oh, good pick! Great pick. Knew you were going to pick you were gonna pick that of course of course uh i love it it is short but i think for kids that's great i really appreciate the message charlie brown with like the little tree and he's gonna do this thing in snoopy's dog house and they take all the stuff down i also appreciate for some reason it's a very christ heavy message in in the peanuts gang the very very christ heavy uh and you're not expecting it and it always makes me laugh but uh it's fun snoopy plays a big guitar

and dances around so it's really kind of got something for everyone uh charlie brown christmas is uh very high on my list one of the all-time great bad Christmas trees. Oh, yeah. Oh, absolutely. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's like the bad Christmas tree that all bad Christmas trees are based on now, right? Mm-hmm. And judged by.

Yep. Mm-hmm. So next up is Andrew. Well, there's... Oh, man. This is tough. So I have some personal picks. I'm trying to decide between my six and my seven right now.

I think something else would fall to me. I'm gonna go with, and it's not the original, Home Alone 2. Great movie. Oh, damn it! Fantastic film. The perfect sequel. It's a perfect sequel.

I missed out on the first one, but I at least get the second one. I get some Home Alone in my catalog. Great movie. Continuation. I mean, who would have ever thought a sequel would exist? Nick talking about, as a parent, it being crazy the first time it happens. Imagine it happened twice. Who could have guessed?

Who could have guessed? He's lost in New York. And in the first one, there was a scary old man who they thought was a murderer who helped him. And then in the second one, there's a scary old bird lady who they think is, I don't know, eating birds or whatever, who helps him. I thought you were going to make a Trump joke,

but you zagged. Oh, I forgot about that. How do you forget about that? That's the only thing that I think of when I think of this movie now. Really? Oh, I think about Tim Curry.

Trump is in that movie talking about the president. He is. Well, an old president, but still. The president of the United States. Remember the Talkboy? I had one of those. Oh, me too.

Yeah, I was going to say, that's like the number one toy of that year. That's why I forgot about Trump. I had one of those. Every time I watch The Homolones, I think Uncle Frank is just the biggest bastard. And every time you watch it, he's just so much worse.

He fucking sucks. Who is the character that plays Uncle Frank? You look that up. Oh, I asked Nick. Did the talk boy you think influence your wanting to be an audio guy after that performance? Oh, no. Interest in sound? Kevin McAllister, damn you!

No, maybe. It could have have been that's how i got here nick just practices booking rooms at the plaza hotel hello sir here's my credit card it's the perfect sequel because um once you get over the stupid coincidence of them all being back in the same movie it's just the characters have the perfect amount of memory of the first movie. I think like duck in the pot, the paint tins and then getting rammed in the face. Like it's just so good. So well done.

The hits are, there's no, there's no better moment in the history of film. I think then when the crowbar scene, right? When he's swinging at the spider and he hits him in the chest of film, I think, than when the crowbar scene, right? When he's swinging at the spider and he hits him in the chest with a crowbar. Like that single moment in Home Alone 1 is like maybe the strongest piece of cinema we have. But on a whole, I feel like all of the hits in 2 are better and elevated, if that makes

sense. Aside from that one smack, all the stuff Kevin does to them in 2 is even better than the shit they do in 1, which is hard to accomplish. And the way that the giant tool chest rolls down the stairs without tipping over, it's just so stupid and funny to me. That was the sound of a giant tool chest

rolling down the stairs. Gavin, because you're number one, you get the next two picks as we sneak draft this thing. Well, to me, nothing says Christmas like Sinbad. Fuck! Jingle all the way, baby!

Oh, yes! Jingle all the goddamn way! That is such a good film. It is! I was hoping it would fall to me. Such a good film. It's so weird. Been a while since I've seen that one. It's so weird when it gets near the end and they're in a big parade. Yeah.

Yeah, and for some reason, the suit is like a half a billion dollar tech suit. Yeah. I don't. Like it could actually fly very weird very very weird um that's where that movie like really falls off for me where i just go i only remember the parts from the big parade and not the rest of the movie and that's unfortunate because the rest of the movie is way better than the big parade yeah and it's a classic story of like shitball father uh gets redemption through just a bunch of luck and it doesn't really learn anything shitball father there's a a bomb in that movie there's like a legitimate postal bomb there's

a drunk reindeer ronald schwarzenegger fights a bunch of mall Santas it's fucking crazy and as a kid having the turbo man toy made it even better you had a turbo man dude you had a turbo man I had a real turbo man I wish I still had it they made a bunch of them for the movie I had one it was great

Jake Lloyd was a legend as a kid between Phantom Menace and that. Yeah, it is him. He had an insane two movie run where if you were a kid around my age, Jake Lloyd was the fucking man. Two movie run. Oh, they're huge movies.

Jingle all the way and the Phantom Menace fucking massive. I wonder what the best two movie and then only two movie run is. Jake Lloyd. It might be. There was that kid from Jerry Maguire. What was that kid's name? Remember him? Jonathan Lipnicki. Jonathan Lipnicki. He was in that and then he was in a movie called The Littlest Vampire and then you never saw him again.

Don't disrespect Like Mike in that way. Oh, I've never seen it. Oh, that's right. I've never seen it. He is Like Mike. Well, no, he's not Like Mike. He's Like Mike's friend. He goes, wow, that guy's Like Mike. Oh, I've never seen it. Oh, that's right. I've never seen it. He is like Mike. Well, no, he's not like Mike. He's like Mike's friend. He goes, wow, that guy's like Mike. Oh, well there you go. Wow. Yep. Well, Gavin, Jingle All The Way, I think

was an overwhelmingly positive pick, but you get another one. That's true um and this one is for all of the uh british millennials who i assume had this on vhs it was a little tv movie short animated called the snowman frosty the snowman nope just the snowman the snowman just the snowman isn't that a michael fastbender movie hello hello mr policeman wasn't he about us is about serial killer yeah isn't this a serial killer movie where like they literally ran out of money and they couldn't yeah they would hide the bodies in the snowman oh it's this fucking thing oh Oh, have you seen that, Eric? Have you seen the snowman?

I haven't seen. I just know. Is it like a book? Oh, yeah. I think it was also a book. And the kids like flying around the countryside of England singing. I'm walking in the air and all that. I hate the way it looks so much. It's so soft.

It's got an animation style that if you haven't slept well will give you a real freaking headache. Oh my god, it hurts. No. I don't like it. But obviously an absolute pillar of my childhood and many of my well, generation. Oh, yeah, I had this book as a kid. I didn't know there was a short

Well, that's cool. I think it has David Bowie in it. What? Nice. It does. Oh, and there was also like a there was also like another short in the same animation style about Santa and he sang a song called Another Bloomin' Christmas and I used to think

that was so funny when I was about four that he called it, that he was saying Bloomin' because it sounded like a swear but it wasn't. Would you say this was like a, like always on at Christmas, a big classic, everybody knew it, kind of like Charlie Brown, but for England?

Okay, cool. Big time. Interesting. Oh, good pick. That's a uniquely you pick. That's pretty good. It's so funny if you Google the snowman, the images are Michael Fassbender

in a, like looking down a thing of blood covered snow with a gun in his hand. And also just like the most family friendly snowman. It's a mix between both. It's great. Um, Andrew, you get the next pick.

Uh, man. Okay. So this, this is a complicated pick because I think in a vacuum of itself, it's fantastic. It's a really great Christmas movie, but it was overplayed and it has hurt it a lot. I feel like most people sick of it now, largely due to the fact that TBS had nothing else to do. Okay. I'm going with a Christmas

story I think there's it's like so over played but that is not the fault of the film like if you remove it from that context there's so many things that I think are so funny about it discovering it as a kid I thought it was hilarious I still laugh at

Fragili must be Italian honey it's his fragile when he's like trying to open the box that he won i think that's such a great dumb gag uh so many iconic images it's almost like it is so perfect for the season that it has hurt it because like tbs used to do those 24-hour marathons but i think it's an all-time great christmas movie just overplayed but that's not its fault no i get that i think that's a good uh i think it's an all-time great Christmas movie just overplayed, but that's not its fault. No, I get that. I think that's a good,

uh, I think that's strong because I agree. I wouldn't put it on my list for all the reasons you listed. Yep. Totally. Why it's not the film's fault. I agree. It's not the film's fault.

I just wouldn't put it on my list because of those reasons, unfortunately. Uh, but I think it's a good pick. Um, my pick, I think this is unconventional but i do i do watch it around christmas time and i it is a christmas movie because it's written by shane black is lethal weapon which is a movie that opens with jingle bell rock i think and as she's like really high and then falls off the balcony i was about to say it opens with her taking a gainer

off the top of a hotel. And the song that's playing in the background, I think, maybe it's rocking around the Christmas tree. It's one of the two. And Christmas is the background theme, and I think sort of the theme of Mel Gibson's character, like part of it. And also, I found out when I

was making my list that the house that Danny Glover lives in, in that movie, is the same house that uh like the yuppie couple like julia louis dreyfus from christmas vacation oh wow oh really that's wild it is the same house the house that takes the ice yeah when uh how are you gonna fit that tree in there bend over and i'll show you like that part. Like that house is the same house that Danny Glover lives in. Dude. And Gary Busey,

a pre motorcycle accident. Gary Busey is very, so very scary in that movie. Awesome. Mr. Joshua, right? Yep.

Yep. God, I love it. I love it. It's so good. So lethal weapons, my pick. Uh,

if you haven't watched it during Christmas, give it a shot. It's very, it's more Christmassy than you remember. Also, like, watch any of Shane Black's movies during Christmas. They all are. I was curious which Shane Black would make this list. Yeah, there's more Shane Black that I could have put on this list,

but I decided to keep it to one. Because there's a lot. There's a lot. There's a lot. But, Nick, you're next. Funny you should mention Shane Black. I had this, and this is the one I actually dropped

because I love this movie, but I didn't think anyone would pick it in that round. So I'm going with Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Yes, that was on my list. Shane Black movie. I love it. Robert Downey Jr. is incredible.

Val Kilmer is hilarious. And then it's kind of a murder mystery movie. Michelle Monahan's in it too or is it a comedy yeah dark comedy definite comedy sort of like a it's trying to be like a little noir-y but it is it's funny and it is christmas and it is uh it's very shane black i think if you liked any of his other stuff you'd enjoy enjoy it. Yeah, Robert Downey Jr. plays like a thief who kind of, he wanders into like a test, like an audition for a role,

and he is pretending to hide in there, and they like his performance so much that he's getting hired for the role, and he's sent out to Hollywood essentially to learn under Val Kilmer's private eye, who's like this super serious dude who thinks he's an idiot and just treats him like shit the whole movie.

It's very, very good. Yeah, he plays a petty thief who is trying to steal a knockoff RoboCop for Christmas, and he runs into an audition to hide, and the thing he's reading for is exactly the scenario that just happened that got his friend shot, so he gives a really convincing performance

and they think he's an amazing actor when really it's just his life has just happened and he's reacting like a human would to that scenario. It's great. Very quotable. A lot of funny lines in it. What would the thing I always remember from that movie is Val Kilmer saying to Robert Downey Jr.

Do you know what would happen if I looked up idiot in the dictionary and then Robert Downey Jr. saying you'd see a picture of me? And then he says no, I'd see the definition of an idiot which you fucking are. And then he hits him in the head with a box. It's great. Excellent movie.

It's good stuff. But Jeff, it's your pick now. You actually get two. You get your last two picks in a row. Oh, that's exciting. I wonder what's going to happen. I'm so excited. What happens? Is that by chance a time for them to come home?

Well, Gavin, don't spoil it. Gavin, come on. Time for me to come home. Honey, I shrunk the Christmas. When I approached this, I wanted to... I like a traditional Christmas story. I think the first one in the series that I talked about earlier, the Blake Shelton one, was definitely a traditional Christmas story. The next one was kind of a mystery, which I like.

This one is even a little bit more off the beaten path. This is about a woman who gets pulled from a car in the ice. She goes off the road and she's rescued from the icy waters and comes out with amnesia. from the icy waters and comes out with amnesia and then she catches, essentially gets a ride with a handsome nurse to try to figure out

who she is and find out the clues to her identity while also bringing some positivity and light and joy to the world. This is time for them

to come home for Christmas. Cool. The 2020 Hallmark Classic. I'm sure you all remember it. Yeah. Oh my God. Of course. No all remember it. Oh my god. Of course. Yeah.

I don't know why I didn't consider that. Great pick. And what I like is that they're also different. Yeah. Right, right, right. I mean, they kind of spiritually exist in the same universe but they're not directly tied to each other in any way it makes me before we recorded jeff said that with these drafts he typically does something that's very amusing

to him and maybe nobody else and he was just randomly snickering and we're trying to figure out what it was and it makes me so happy that this is i thought maybe you'd go all hallmark i could have never predicted this no this is this is pretty exciting i was so sure that that wouldn't be the title that i guessed out loud and now i feel bad no i think it's so much better that you did is it time for my last pick oh yeah it's definitely time for your last all right i'm going super recent with this one uh this one was last year so 2022 so it's probably fresh in all of your minds uh i think you everybody remembers uh it was directed by the great david winning written by marcy holland uh four days before christmas elizabeth received a voicemail from an unknown number she

didn't recognize it and in the message it was a man's voice who she doesn't know. And he makes a plea to the love of his life for a second chance. She has to figure out what's going on. It's the Hallmark Classic. Time for him to come home for Christmas. Cool. Great.

God. There you go. That's my last one. Just out of curiosity, and I won't judge you negatively for this, have you seen these movies? Of course, I wouldn't pick them if I hadn't. Of course! Of course, he says.

I want to tell you what I haven't seen that comes out this year, though. I haven't seen Time for Her to Come Home for Christmas yet, but it's new. Maybe a little bit of a viewing for us. Maybe something to do. Is that Time for Dog to come home for Christmas? Not yet.

Not yet. Not yet. It's an Air Buds sequel. Well, Jeff has rounded out his four picks. That was the most fun I've ever had. That's true. But now it's time for Nick. It's time for Nick to make his last pick oh there's

so many possibilities for this last pick there's so many open and there's so many good christmas movies out there still but i think i have to go with the one that i actually didn't see this like the first 10 years it was out it took until i met my wife to actually see this but i'm gonna go with elf i knew it was gonna be elf oh i forgot that movie existed yeah it's one that i also forget about sometimes. And if you have a chance, you should watch the Netflix show, the movies that made us and watch the episode about it because how it got created is really cool to see

and how they were like, we're hoping it's Will Ferrell. You know, so it's a cool story there. Got a pre-suicide attempt to Artie Lang in it too. Yeah. Oh, does it? Yeah, he played Santa Claus. He played the mall Santa. That's right. Man, he was on a little roll there yes he was he was on a huge fucking role yeah he

was doing a really great job he was getting a lot of roles he's making a lot of money he was doing a lot of work and then uh i don't something happened who could have seen it coming yeah no clue still trying to figure it out. Really a blind side. Anyway, Elf. He eats a lot of sweet shit. Yeah. And it has a blonde Zooey Deschanel. Enjoy. Merry Christmas.

Great movie. It's a movie that's so recent for me that I don't have a lot of love for it, but I do. But I do. I like it. I think Elf is a good pick my pick uh is a classic is uh i don't know how it's how the grinch stole christmas oh yeah uh yes the animated the original animated one the good one because the because all the other ones are bad the original 1967 i love it his little dog is great his little dog with the horn he's got a little antler he doesn't want to be a part of the thing like i again it's a chuck jones thing which

i think is so good because it's chuck jones but uh reading up on it and everything when you read about like what the movie's about and all this stuff it lists the dog is the second antagonist and i think that's the funniest way that you could think of that character in this movie the second antagonist but how the grinch stole christmas the original animated again a short one but i really love it that's fantastic i was a little bit nervous when you said classic because I feel like mine is also a classic and obscure. I've been waiting on this one. OK, my pick, because I think it's obscure. Definite classic.

It was something I grew up watching a lot. I watched a lot of my grandpa and fantastic music. Great puppetry. I am going with Emmett Otter's Jugman Christmas one of my favorite Christmas movies it's a Jim Henson film it's a production I think it was originally maybe a TV special great great

iconic Muppets type score you're closer now than ever before that song it's a story about Emmett Otter and his mom who live in poverty and they both decide to enter a talent show to try to win money for their family and they have to go against a rock band that i'm blanking the name of they're like the the uh now what are they called they're like the

nightmare or something the nightmare yeah yeah yeah it's great called the river bottom gang yeah we're bottom gang so much great music uh really touching story really well done funny i'd highly recommend it i'm picking it because it is a part of my childhood as well as hopefully people will watch it it's great oh it's also got kermit in it it has a well he does like the intro to it it has a hilarious blooper reel surprisingly that you can find on YouTube. So at the very least I would recommend watching the bloopers for Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas.

Dude I've never even heard of that movie. That's awesome. Thank you. It's great. Gavin are you gonna check out the blooper reel for Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas? I don't see why not. That's great. But now that we have all the other picks done it's time for gavin's final pick to round out this list well i'll be honest there's some great stuff still left on the table

here tons there's so much this is even still a hard pick but i'm gonna go with angels with even filthier souls oh that's funny that's funny the movie from inside home alone because home alone one and two were taken i think the first home alone had a movie called angels with filthy souls but it wasn't a christmas movie in the second one it's the christmas version of that called angels with even filthier souls where the guy says Merry Christmas, you filthy animals. That's great. That's awesome. And we've done it. We've picked the greatest holiday movies

of all time. Here's Gavin's pick as he was number one and picked the number one slot. Die Hard, Jingle All The Way, The Snowman, and Angels with even filthier souls. Andrew number two and picked the number two slot. Christmas Vacation, Die Hard, Jingle All the Way, The Snowman, and Angels with Even Filthier Souls. Andrew, number two, and picked the number two slot. Christmas Vacation, Home Alone 2, Lost in New York, A Christmas Story, and Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas.

I got number three in the draft order and picked the number three slot. Love Actually, A Charlie Brown Christmas, Lethal Weapon, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Nick got fourth and picked the fourth slot. Home Alone, Muppet Christmas Carol, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and Elf and Jeff rounding it out at the bottom. Time for you to come home for Christmas. Time for us to come home for Christmas. Time for them to come home for Christmas. Time for him to come home for Christmas.

And those are all of the holiday movies that you will ever need. Are there any movies that didn't make the cut that y'all are sad about? Like, for instance, I was bummed for Christmases and Christmas with the Cranks didn't make it. I was bummed that after all the Shane Black stuff that Long Kiss Goodnight didn't come out. Oh, that's a good movie.

Iron Man 3, I think, could have been on the list. You're right. But wasn't. Nobody picked Nightmare Before Christmas? Is that not a Christmas movie? No, but that's a Halloween movie. Nobody picked It's a Wonderful Life. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's a classic. I only found out about this recently. Do you know the only reason that that got so popular is that they lapsed on the rights? Somebody didn't file the trademark or the claim on it, so it became free for TV to show and that's why it was shown every Christmas.

It was a box office bomb. I'm pretty sure Jeff did that with Achievement Hunter. Way to go, Jeff! I made Achievement Hunter a box office bomb? Nobody picked Gremlins. nobody picked Scrooged Scrooged is a great one

I had Frosty the Snowman Polar Express Arthur Christmas Bad Santa I'd say those are kind of the bigger ones can I put in for some like a shit pic, like a film that I think

is just so bad but I don't know why people like it? Sure. I think two, there are two really dog shit Christmas movies. One is The Santa Clause.

I think it's a piece of shit. The second one, The Holiday. Everyone I know seems to really like that film and it is an absolute stinker. I don't know what's good about it. I don't get it either.

I like Jude Law, but I don't even think he's doing anything in that movie that's worth writing about. I don't really mind any of the people in it. It's just dogshit story and kind of dogshit performances all around. That replaced TPG for Love Actually. It did.

Yeah, I was about to say that's in his top three is the holiday he bloody loves it i don't think i've ever heard of it the hall it has jack black in it yeah it's jack black kate winslet cameron diaz uh not interested i walked out as a teenager i went in and it was what it was that i was not in the mood for it so i just left why would you watch that as a teenager that's went in and it was what it was and I was not in the mood for it, so I just left. Why would you watch that as a teenager? That's crazy. I'm pretty sure the soundtrack is,

or the score is Hans Zimmer. Yeah, it is. That's crazy. On paper, it's excellent. How weird. It's just not a good movie, though. Do you guys remember the movie Jack Frost? Not the one with Michael Keaton.

Yes, the horror one. But the other one, the horror movie? Yeah. Yes. Yep, Where he takes off his nose. Yeah, and he goes, Fuckers are snowmen. Yeah, I watched that at my friend Matt's house. Hell yeah. What was the Joseph Gordon Levitt, Seth Rogen one?

Oh, the Christmas Party or something? The Night Before. Yeah. It's a movie that came out and they were like this is going to be the new holiday thing and nobody saw it I put that movie and Office Christmas Party on a couple of times and I can't tell you one second

of either of those films just immediately turned into background noise okay so are we ready to wrap this up then and move on to Christmas songs? Yeah, this was great. This was, uh, let us know in the comments, which, which, who you'd go with, who had the strongest list?

Is it, is it time for you to make a choice and leave a comment and, uh, or time for us to make a choice and leave a comment or time for them to make a choice and leave a comment or simply time for him to make a choice and leave a comment. Or simply time for him to make a choice and leave a comment. You can check out all of our stuff at F***FacePod.com. F***FacePod.com slash first is where you can sign up to support the show directly. And check out our Let's Play stuff that is every Monday for First Members. It's so funny that Jeff was on the end. So we got all of his impacts in too.

It's really good. It's really good. It's really good. I had a lot of fun. Okay, anything else? Any parting holiday words for the people at home? A. Have a good one. Happy holidays.

She said it like it was pre-recorded. What you don't, what you didn't know about that is that's actually a quote from Time for Us to Come Home for Christmas. If you guys had seen the movie, you'd be laughing your dicks off right now. No, I just have trouble with sincerity. You know that. I wanted it to sound real, but I can't. I just don't know how to do it.

I feel like we all struggle with that on this podcast. Remember Andrew being excited for your wedding? I can't make it. I just don't know how to do it. I feel like we all struggle with that on this podcast. Remember Andrew being excited for your wedding? I'm very excited about that wedding. I couldn't be more pumped about this wedding. Y'all hear they're gonna have burgers at the wedding? Fucking crazy. Alright, happy holidays bye