F**kface - Zimmer Frames // How North is Hawaii? [50]

Episode Date: May 12, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about bat knob confusion, f**kfacing yourself at a company meeting because of Zim-ET, unfun farts, and Property Brothers Mobile Game. Sponsored by: BetterHelp (http://bet...terhelp.com/face), Adam & Eve (http://adamandeve.com) and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/12face + code 12face) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:37 for 12 free meals, including free shipping. This is a roosterteeth production hello and welcome to another episode of what what i was just adjusting my volume and it was the wrong time. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Geoff Ramsey. With me, as always, Gavin Free and Andrew Panton. I think this is episode 50 or so. Does that sound correct? That sounds correct. Are we on 50?
Starting point is 00:02:24 I think we are. I think that means... Big 5-0! I think we are two episodes away, then, from Andrew officially firing off the fire extinguisher. I need to do work for that. I need to figure that out. Have you not figured it out yet?
Starting point is 00:02:37 You've been figuring it out for two weeks. No, no, no, no, no. I know what I need. It's just I need to get stuff to do it. It's a complex plan. Okay. How can we help? How can we help? Absolutely no way. There's just I need to get stuff to do it. It's a complex plan. Okay. How can we help? How can we help? Absolutely no way.
Starting point is 00:02:48 There's nothing you can do to help. Can I Google map you directions to your local fire station? I'll do it. No. No, it's good. I know where it is. I'm familiar with it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:02:58 I double checked that already. We're good. Well, you're on notice, buddy. You've got two weeks to figure it out. Oh, I have it figured out. It's just a lot of work. It's going to take a lot of work. I need a gas mask.
Starting point is 00:03:09 I need a whole bunch of stuff. There's a lot of prep required to do this, and I'm excited to pull it and just nothing come out. Just zero pressure left. I do. I need a gas mask. Why don't you just go and grab a fresh one? What do you mean just go and grab?
Starting point is 00:03:24 I'm not going to buy a new fire. Where am I going to one? What do you mean, just go and grab? I'm not going to buy a new fire extinguisher. Where am I going to go? What do you mean, buy a fire extinguisher? Yeah. Well, like 50 bucks down a... Yeah, I'm not going to fucking pay 50 bucks. We've got budget now, don't we, Eric? I have 50 bucks for a fire extinguisher.
Starting point is 00:03:38 What's the point? The point is you don't have a working fire extinguisher in your house and you need one. And you paid $1,000 for a pink porta potty, asshole. This is going to save your life. That took a big dent out of the budget. Gavin is going to donate a fire extinguisher to you, I have a feeling. Oh, I'll get you one, yeah. No.
Starting point is 00:03:56 I can get you stuff. Why would I get a different... The whole point is it was part of the show, this one. It's not just any fire extinguisher. Yeah, but we don't want a limp fire extinguisher going off, do we? I feel like a limp fire extinguisher is a perfect fit for this show. I think it symbolizes this. It's like the tagline for the first year of this show.
Starting point is 00:04:16 Oh, I see one here. $64. That's not bad. That's not bad for protecting your life. $64 seems high. We need to figure out what we haven't resolved is what we need to do. I feel like there are a bunch of loose threads. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:04:30 It's early this week. Yeah. Henry found, I hid the owl, Henry found the owl, and he is going to town. Jesus. The problem is you don't take an owl away from a full-sized bulldog, English bulldog. That's fair. Yeah, it's a good rule. He would win that fight.
Starting point is 00:04:49 The thing is, Andrew, if you get a fresh fire extinguisher, you can choose the type. You can choose a less deadly type. Yeah, but I don't know what that... First of all, I feel like I'm going to take flight if I do a fresh fire extinguisher. I'm scared of the pressure. You're not sandra bullock
Starting point is 00:05:05 in gravity you know i'm i'm worried about it i don't know i've seen a fresh fire extinguisher go off i don't want that in my life i kind of hope if you got like a wooden or laminate floor and you're on a i don't on a chair with wheels then maybe you'll get a bit of opposite direction going on. I actually would. If I had space, I would definitely do that. I don't think my plan, it would work out. How far do you think I could get with a fire extinguisher?
Starting point is 00:05:34 Easily, like, across the room. You could hit the other wall. No, but, like, could I... Okay, if I was in a chair, if I was in a chair with wheels, what's the furthest distance I could travel, you think the basic i wonder how far i could get well now is it like do you mean like just have it hammered down the whole time or you know no no like i can do what i want like very much like sandra bullock and gravity i could time my presses but i don't know if a fire extinguisher works that way i feel like it's kind of like one go no it's no you let go and it stops yeah yeah but i mean
Starting point is 00:06:04 honestly it will have it will have less pressure the second time you let go and it stops yeah yeah but i mean honestly it will have it it will have less pressure the second time you fire it but it'll still have a lot of pressure until it's done i i don't know i think you should try this and then get back to me on the results have you never used one before no no i've never used a fire extinguisher before only as a mic or pop filter stand that's the only use i've ever had ever had. Do you know what's really exciting about this conversation? What is? You're not going to be able to say that in two weeks ever again. We'll see.
Starting point is 00:06:34 I'm really good at disappointing the audience, Jeff. So we'll find out what happens. I feel like the pickle, though, that wasn't disappointing. I loved that one. The pickle was good. I think the salad was good, too. Speaking of... Well, it's not good.
Starting point is 00:06:49 Good to you. Speaking of disappointing the audience and loose threads, I was listening to this week's episode, which, by the way, I have got to stop listening to our podcast again. I cannot stand me, and I'm not going to get into the whole thing, because we did it last week. We did it on the RT podcast, but Jesus Christ, and I'm not going to get into the whole thing because we did it last week.
Starting point is 00:07:06 We did it on the RT podcast, but Jesus Christ, do I great. And what's with my laugh also? I don't know what people are talking about. Anyway, this is not about that. Which episode was this? This was the one where we were talking about the anal... It was when you, you know,
Starting point is 00:07:25 the anal trenches. Yeah. So in that though, Andrew mentioned that he would consider trying a full bath first and, and letting us know how it, how it felt. And so I was wondering, did you ever,
Starting point is 00:07:37 did you ever attempt to do it the other way and get into a full bath? I did, but not on purpose. Something happened. I think I ran the water and then I realized I had to use the bathroom like I got in and I was like I gotta use the bathroom and the water started and I was like I'll just let it full fill I didn't like it it's very dangerous it got really high up and I had to like slowly lower my body in as it rose so it wouldn't overflow the tub I don't like
Starting point is 00:08:03 slowly drain it inch by inch as I went into it. It was not a good experience. So you filled it up to the drain? Oh yeah, it filled, well just it kept going and then by the time I was done and ready to get into it, it was already like essentially full. So I had to stand in it and then slowly inch by
Starting point is 00:08:19 inch go lower and let it drain itself as I get, yeah it was bad. It was a bad experience. You do everything by extremes. Why don't you do something in the middle for once? I didn't plan. Why don't you shoot for a five? Oh my god,
Starting point is 00:08:36 dude. I knew you were going to find a way that if the answer was yes, I knew you would find a way to make it stressful. But I wasn't trying to. It's just how it happened. Okay. Yeah. I wasn't even going to bring that. It didn't to. It's just how it happened. Okay. Yeah. I wasn't even going to bring that. It didn't register.
Starting point is 00:08:48 It was such a non-event. It was an unpleasant experience. So you're pretty happy at this point in life with the established way of things when it comes to baths. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're good. I've continued to do what I was doing before. Man, I'll tell you another thing
Starting point is 00:09:00 that annoyed me from that episode. And I... God, this is another reason why I can't listen to podcasts anymore. I was, I was in the bat knob conversation, participating in it, leading it, if you will, made total sense to me in the moment. Going back and listen to that bat conversation. Cop, I get it now. I have no fucking clue what we were talking about.
Starting point is 00:09:18 I was all over the place. I don't know what the answer is. I don't know where we are. I don't understand even what I was talking about in the bat knob conversation i have so much bat knob confusion right now i'm ready to be done with the whole thing uh yeah all i all i got from it is that we were we ended up confused and eric ended up annoyed that it was like the discussions had somehow been undone from the meeting it was well the meeting was it was a bunch of adults Talking and making sense and then trying to relay that info It was a mess because I was there and it made perfect sense what they said and then I couldn't have been more confused
Starting point is 00:09:53 Jeff when you were explaining everything and I don't feel like you said anything necessarily incorrectly off of memory But I was just as completely lost. I think I'm the weak link though because I wasn't in the meeting I either need to be all in or all out like I should have just kept my mouth shut the entire time I think there would have been less confusion. I like your idea Gavin of Jeff having to nail a thousand nails into each knob I think that's a great thing and we should go in that my only thing was I didn't want People in the audience to buy something that was untouched by Jeff's misery. Well, here's the deal I realized I have no fucking clue. I know that there's something is in the works,
Starting point is 00:10:28 but from this point, at this point, I don't know what it is. I really, some knobs or bats or something are going to show up to me at some point, I assume. And I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with them. That is a problem for future Jeff. It broke my brain trying to make sense of what we were talking about i think
Starting point is 00:10:45 it was like a mix of ideas because we also talked about like the concept of finding a bat match to your knob and i don't think that idea is fully worked out it's just a funny premise yeah i think it just kind of it all mixed together i think the main takeaway though is that you need to nail a thousand nails into well into that yeah probably okay well anyway uh well you know this jeff doesn't have to the other down the road jeff does this jeff doesn't couldn't give two shits uh hey can i can i show you guys some a funny photo two funny photos yeah so earlier i was telling this to before you came in uh gav i was telling andrew and uh eric i was doing some just like a little bit of shopping for some like baseball card stuff. And I stumbled on something so goddamn funny, I couldn't believe it. And so now I want to
Starting point is 00:11:32 show it to you guys. I'm gonna put it in discord. Basically, what I was doing, I'll explain it to the audience is I was how do I add an image? What do you mean? How do you add it? Stop? You've done this so many times yeah yeah i know uh okay i'm gonna do it right here i'm doing it differently today uh documents desktop that's right was it this one no it's this one okay so i was uh i have all these uh you know when you collect baseball cards you put them in big cardboard boxes right and so i was looking for i was gonna write i have like 40 of them now and i can't tell them apart so but i was thinking about writing like basketball marcus smart celtics whatever on them
Starting point is 00:12:12 but then i find that i shuffle them around a lot and i don't want to like have a bunch of crossed out sharpie shit i just don't want to look trashy so i thought i'll buy some stickers i'll buy some nice stickers you know and i'll put some stickers on it. Like a football means those are football cards or a sticker of the Celtics means they're Celtics cards. And so I thought, I wonder if I can get granular and get down and get like a Marcus Smart sticker. So I searched on Amazon and this is the pure result. There's some vinyl stickers,
Starting point is 00:12:40 all pictures of Marcus Smart, my favorite basketball player, right? So I was like, cool, I bought a couple of those. Then I thought, I wonder what happens if I can search for, because Marcus Smart is not an all-star. He's well-loved on our team. But outside of Boston, he's not like a huge property or anything. So I thought, well, if Marcus Smart has his own stickers,
Starting point is 00:13:00 is it possible that Don Zimmer has his own stickers? So I searched initially for just Marcus Smart Sticker, right? And that was the result. And we'll put this up on the Instagram. This is what the result for Don Zimmer Sticker. It's the cane. It's a bunch of canes and walkers. It is eight products.
Starting point is 00:13:22 One is a kid's story. One is gut health. Another one is digestive. Both two are digestive health for old men. And then five of them are assisting like walkers. Do you know why those walkers are there? Because Don Zimmer's old? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:13:36 Because that is called a Zimmer frame. Are you serious? Yeah, that's what those walkers are called. And they're named after Don Zimmer? Yeah, maybe that's not like a... maybe that didn't make it to North America. I know those as Zimmer frames. I've never heard that word. Really?
Starting point is 00:13:52 Never heard that in my life. No. Yeah, just put in Zimmer frame into Google. I bet you get it. Not only that, Gavin, that may be true in your country, but I don't see the word Zimmer frame anywhere on any of those pictures either. I see Drive Medical Deluxe Two-button folding walker. I see drive medical four-wheel walker, rotator with fold-up removable back support, et cetera, et cetera. But nowhere does it say Zimmer,
Starting point is 00:14:15 what did you call it? Zimmer frame? Zimmer frame. Yeah, just Google Zimmer frame. You'll see what it is. Yeah, Google it immediately just goes to walker eric's never heard it why is it called a zimmer frame so in in the uk don zimmer popularized a walker and it's named after him that's kind of like when i went to the first time i went to england with you iggy pop was all over the buses selling life insurance and i was like it was so weird to see And I guess Iggy Pop is a huge insurance guy In the UK I guess Don Zimmer was a huge walking cane guy That's really cool It's also fucking funny still
Starting point is 00:14:52 It is I love the idea of buying a walker to enter the Zimmer zone Like it's the first step It just gets more complicated Every day Can we sell walkers? Yeah we could sell a Zimmer frame You'll need it one day It's an investment gets more complicated every day. Can we sell walkers? Yeah, we could sell a Zimba frame and just be like, you just keep it.
Starting point is 00:15:05 You'll need it one day. It's an investment. They might get really expensive in the future. You know how they put tennis balls on the bottom of them to help people slide? Yes. We could put little Zimbears on the bottom. I like you and Zimbears. I was thinking you were going to go baseball. I would never
Starting point is 00:15:23 assume. It's such like a further leap. It is the Zimbear as I was thinking you're going to go baseball. I would never assume. It's just like a further leap. Well, it's a Zimbear. You know, it is the Zimmer frame. Oh, and then you could get the Don Zimmer fan. You could just take out the whole, like the handle part, put that on the front. You got a Zimmermobile. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:15:39 This is great. Hey, speaking of Don Zimmer, I guess, which is something that we, for some reason, do a lot these days. Yeah. Certainly not intentionally. Can I tell you guys how I faced myself at work yesterday? Please do. It's Zimmer related. You went to work?
Starting point is 00:15:58 Well, I mean, I was, yeah, I was working at home. Okay. But we had, and obviously you guys weren't there or you would have known this, but we have once a month or so, or I don't know, every six weeks, however often it is, we have a company-wide all-hands meeting, which all company employees are encouraged to attend. Didn't see you there yesterday, Gavin. Anyway, so I was...
Starting point is 00:16:20 You seem to have missed the last 650 or less. I was in the all hands. And it's like through a Zoom meeting or whatever, right? Or one of those different ones. One of those proprietary ones that you have to fucking install. And I was just sitting in there watching as things were going.
Starting point is 00:16:36 And they were mentioning about a production that we had just done, like one of our tentpole productions that we shot last week, kind of about an hour outside of town, obviously COVID safe and all. But it was like a super intense, like three or four night overnight shoot with a lot of people, a lot of moving parts that came together kind of at the last minute. And they were mentioning it. And I thought it would be nice to give credit to that department and give them kudos because
Starting point is 00:17:05 they worked so hard. So I typed up this big, long couple paragraph thing about how hard they worked and how much credit they deserved and how much I appreciated it and how much they kicked ass. And then I pasted it into the text on the side of the all hands. And then I looked over and I realized that even, even though I'm not a, I'm no longer, I no longer present as a panelist in those very often. There's like two channels. You're in panelist or, or everybody like panelist and everybody. Right.
Starting point is 00:17:32 And I always fuck up cause I'm always in the panelist and I always type stuff to everybody and it's in the panelist thing and then nobody sees it. And then Barbara or somebody has to go, Jeff, you're just talking to us again. And I'm like, all right. And then it's always embarrassing. And I've done it like 100% of the time. And so I noticed at first and before anybody could tell me I was stupid, I scrolled over and I just selected all that text and copied it, hit paste in the change the dropdown to
Starting point is 00:18:00 panelists and attendees, hit send. And I went back to watching the presentation. There's a presentation going on this whole time. People are talking about business and the company and stuff. And then I glance over after a few minutes, and I see people saying, what the hell? What the hell was that? And I see Jordan go, Jeff, what was that?
Starting point is 00:18:16 And I go, oh, no. Oh, no. And I look over, and I have not pasted all that text. What I have pasted is a link. Just a link. And I have the biggest butt clenching am I about to, like from this moment
Starting point is 00:18:38 until the moment I click that link and find out what I have sent the entire company, the company all hands, is now the most intense moment of my life. My asshole is eating itself from the inside.
Starting point is 00:18:52 It's sucking me up. My throat is trying to meet my asshole in the middle. I'm no taller than, standing straight up I can't be taller than 4'3 at this point. I have compressed internally as my limbs are retracting i'm turtling into into the like it's like there's a black hole devouring me from the
Starting point is 00:19:12 inside right and i'm folding in like the house at the end of poltergeist i'm yeah and uh and and and i slowly i'm just looking at the link and i'm thinking to myself this is my i don't do anything bad i don't do anything bad i don't copy or send bad. I don't copy or send bad things. I don't, I don't, I don't copy bad links. This is a work computer. I mean, it's not a work computer. It's my home computer, but it's in my library and I just bought it. And I've only, I've only ever done work stuff on this, you know, or like maybe buy some stickers for Marcus Smart. You know, I'm not doing anything dangerous. I'm not, I'm a good person. What could it be? I haven't sat at this computer in like a week.
Starting point is 00:19:48 What is that fucking link? And I click on it and it's the goddamn video of Don Zimmer as E.T. in the fucking, GIF in the, seeing E.T. in the closet. And I look at it and the whole company's going, what the fuck is that? And I have to go, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:20:09 That's Don Zimmer. See, what happened was I meant to copy and paste some kudos for the live action team, and I'm explaining the whole thing and typing it out, and then at some point, Sophie goes, Jeff, shut up. We're in the middle of a presentation. And I was like, oh, God, I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:20:27 The whole time people were trying to talk, and I'm trying to explain it, and every explanation needs another explanation. I'm like 80 paragraphs into this, and the whole company's like, shut up, idiot. And I wanted to die. Oh, my God. I just love the idea of the gravity of your anus just increasing the moment you...
Starting point is 00:20:47 Oh god. The concept of you just swallowing yourself and getting swallowed. I have never been scared to click a link in my life. You can't do blind pastes. You've always got to check your pastes. I was just doing ten things, you know? I was listening to what somebody was saying on the thing, and it was just a nice
Starting point is 00:21:11 type thing about how hard the live action team worked. Stephanie and all those guys, and Chris, and Jessica, and Marcus, and just everybody. And then I just fucking sent a random ass unexplained picture horrible picture of a floating human bear in jubarimo's bedroom by the way while uh at the beginning of that story
Starting point is 00:21:35 i just happened to glance one of the things on my google page for for zimmer frame it's inflatable Zimmer frame for Halloween I can't imagine I was thinking Is there anything that is rendered More useless when inflatable Than a Zimmer frame That's what we gotta sell oh we gotta sell those
Starting point is 00:22:08 that's what we gotta sell oh Eric please tell Tony and Robert to make that oh my god that's amazing that guy's been dead for way too long for us to get this much enjoyment out of him. I can't believe I never heard of him until this podcast.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Nobody that listens to this podcast has ever heard of him. He was a he was an old timer when I was a kid. You know, I had like I had like what's the opposite of a face? I don't know. Pleasant moment. A win. You had a win! How did you win?
Starting point is 00:22:46 Let's hear it. In an unexpected way. The other day I was walking. I just decided to, I needed to go for a walk. I decided to walk to the capital, which is far from where I live. I had to walk for quite a long time.
Starting point is 00:22:57 The moment I set foot out of my door, something blew in my eye. Like a bit of grit or dust or whatever. And I, you know, you have stuff in your eye and it's usually like a couple of minutes of, you know, farting around in my eye like a bit of grit or dust or whatever and i you know you have stuff in your eye it's usually like a couple of minutes of you know farting around in your eye trying to like move your eyelid or like blinking or looking in a certain direction it just wouldn't come out i was about 45 minutes into my walk and i just had tears streaming down my face i was like i want to dehydrate from crying because this shit has gone in my eye. It's a hot day. In the end, I was just really annoyed.
Starting point is 00:23:27 It was really uncomfortable. And I was even debating, like, do I just turn home and run my eye into water or something? And then I heard an ambulance and I saw the cars like peeling out the way. And I just looked at the ambulance instantly healed. What? Like the act of moving my eye to look at the ambulance coming from behind me i guess perfectly moved the grit out of my eye and i was healed by an ambulance just by looking at it and i thought what a perfect vehicle to help me that's fantastic i don't that's ridiculous have you ever had have you ever had like something like that magic that happened yeah no probably yeah that's that's crazy i mean not
Starting point is 00:24:05 that i can think of and you didn't you never felt it again it was like it was gone and there was no more yeah and either like moved into my tear duct and came out or something did you wave and land them or anything no i didn't get a chance they're just whizzing by but i wish i could tell them that they healed more than one person they need need it for their... Probably helps them fill a quota. Yeah. Oh my God. I'm probably going to get a bill for it, though. How was the Capitol?
Starting point is 00:24:30 It was fine. It's still there, just in case you're wondering. Were you able to walk up to it? Yeah, I was just in the front grounds. Or the back. Honestly, I don't know which end is the front or the back. They both look pretty the same. I thought they had had it closed off still.
Starting point is 00:24:42 That's cool if you can go walk up to it. I used to ride my bike up there a lot. It's nice. It's bloody massive, isn't it? Yeah, it's huge. It's huge. It's a Capitol. I think if they say it's at least...
Starting point is 00:24:50 It's probably one of those... You check it on Snopes, but I was always told that there's a height limit on how tall a U.S. Capitol can be, a state Capitol, and that the Texas Capitol is three feet taller than that. I'm just like, fuck you. Dude, you know what?
Starting point is 00:25:06 Can I say something good about Texas, though? I'm gonna say something fucking awesome. But I got to roll it back a bit. OK, and I got to roll it back a little bit to to to explain it, though. So I can't drink milk because it's white. Well, yes, because it's white. But in addition to that, there's a medical reason for it. Like I have a minor or like a medium sensitivity to dairy, but mostly just milk.
Starting point is 00:25:32 I think it's the lactose in milk. And so if I like eat cereal, I would never drink milk for any reason ever. Like I would rather die than drink a glass of milk. But I, you know, milk and cereal is totally fine, right? It's how you deliver the cereal. And cereal is, unfortunately for me, one of my favorite foods. However, when I drink milk, even in cereal, I get painfully intense farts. And not the fun kind of farts where I get to ruin people people's day because they hurt so bad and they make my tummy hurt so bad that it just ruins my day and they're not fun to fart out and the smell
Starting point is 00:26:11 even makes me sick like it's a sour milk smell and i don't fun to fart it's not a fun fart i don't like it and it's not worth the pain and so i have largely avoided cereal in my life as an adult because it's just not worth the effort. However, my girlfriend, my beautiful, wonderful girlfriend, Emily, she bought me some lactose-free milk the other day. And I had some. And it's amazing. I have been on a cereal tear, right? Just a fucking cereal tear.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Like it's been a tsunami. I'm making up for all the lost cereal time in my life. And's fucking fantastic i'm eating like four bowls of cereal a day i had a bowl of cereal right before this podcast actually my second bowl today just because i just so fucking jazzed that i can right and my tummy's fine my butthole's fine no stinky farts no sour smell no nothing now what this has to do with Texas is fucking Texas is awesome because my favorite cereal is Captain Crunch, right? And I like Captain Crunch. I like Captain Crunch with crunch berries
Starting point is 00:27:11 and I like peanut butter crunch. And I rotate between the three. I like them all for different reasons. Is a crunch berry a type of berry or they've made other berries crunchy? It's the same consistency as a Captain Crunch, it's just a different color. And it's round. And it's got whatever
Starting point is 00:27:29 chemical red or blue taste it is, right? Anyway, so they make, because we're fucking badass, they make special Captain Crunch with Texas-sized Crunch Berries. And it says it on the box, Captain Crunch Texas-sized Crunch Ber crunch berries and it's fucking
Starting point is 00:27:47 amazing the crunch berries are huge and it's phenomenal and i have eaten three boxes of it in the last week and i cannot get enough and that's all i wanted to say is that you mentioned texas and it reminded me that texas sized crunch berries are fucking amazing some stuff scaled up is better but a lot of food doesn't make sense to be bigger. Yeah, I agree. Like, I don't think I'd want to eat like a, you know when you take a bite of sushi, you know, with the rice under it, the fish and the rice. What's it, nigiri?
Starting point is 00:28:14 That wouldn't make any sense if it was like the size of your fist. It's all good, but it was like a whole fish. Yeah, all the ratios would be way off. It would be terrible. I'm trying to, you realize like there's no way that's exclusive to Texas, Jeff. What do you mean? That cereal.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Well, the Texas side, like, it's not... They make a product, and they're using it to turn off the Texas side. You're saying it's sold everywhere. Yeah. Under a different name? Yeah, no, it's just Texas-sized, I feel like, is just like a general term. Yeah, but you still have to thank Texas for being that state, though, don't you? I also...
Starting point is 00:28:44 I also... I don't know that that's correct, because I think you could only buy it at H-E-B, which is a Texas grocery store. Oh, really? Yeah, I couldn't. What a weird fucking thing. Wait, so H-E-B have Cap'n Crunch brand? Look, it even says limited edition.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Oh. Okay. Three times bigger? Yeah, dude, they're three times bigger. I'm telling you, they're fucking amazing. They play in Monster Munch cereal. Yeah. Okay. Three times bigger? Yeah, dude, they're three times bigger. I'm telling you, they're fucking amazing. They play in Monster Munch cereal. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:08 Eric says he thinks they call it Mega Berries elsewhere. I don't know if that's true. I don't know. I can't confirm or deny that. All I know is that it says Texas on it. I think Mega Berries is a cooler name than Texas-sized. I'd agree. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:29:22 All I know is I'm eating them and they're fucking delicious and there's no mega berries at the fucking grocery store. There's only Texas sized berries and only at H-E-B. You can't get it at Randall's. I've tried. Free stuff is awesome,
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Starting point is 00:31:28 It's always a good time to invest in yourself because you are your greatest asset. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and F*** Face listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash code. That's B-E-T-T-E-r-h-e-l-p.com slash code does canada brag about being big andrew no i don't think so i don't feel like we ever it's it's more like overly polite and apologetic is what we brag about i feel like have you ever lived on on the mainland no i've only ever lived where i live so you've just operated on island time the entire time exactly yeah i've never how far i've never been
Starting point is 00:32:13 anywhere else how far north have you been uh just like the top of your island like are we counting like vacations yeah uh. How far north? Because everyone in Canada lives very close to the border, don't they? That's where like most of the people are. Is Hawaii north? Where's Hawaii? Is that up or down? Where's Hawaii?
Starting point is 00:32:36 That's far away. Where's Hawaii? Hawaii is north of Canada? Well, I don't know where it is. Well, Alaska's north, right? Yeah? Well, I don't know where. It's, well, the U.S. is, well, Alaska's north, right? Yeah, well, yeah, it's like west of Canada, isn't it? Well, it's above me, I believe. Let's look at a map.
Starting point is 00:32:55 I don't know where everything is in America. Where is Hawaii? Hawaii's like in line with Mexico, isn't it? But out in the Pacific. Oh, is it way down? Yeah, that might be. The tropical climate is a dead giveaway. Closer to the equator. If you keep going north,
Starting point is 00:33:14 you would probably end up at Hawaii first. So, in a way... Wait, what? Well, if you keep going up... Wait, where is Hawaii? Where am I? What do you mean? Oh, I would never. Okay.
Starting point is 00:33:26 Do you see? No, I guess Texas would be technically the furthest north I've been. You have to run me through what you just said about the north to Hawaii thing. What? So do you see my island? Look at the map. Look at the geography of the map. Is your okay on that geography of the map is your island that like skinny bit of canada that snapped yeah bottom left that that skinny bit that's right
Starting point is 00:33:51 it's its own self if we just keep going up which is north to canada i guess yeah if we go up and around the globe if we just keep going endless summer summer style, I would end up, I'd end up, I guess, on Texas as the lowest place. So I guess Texas is technically, if you keep going north. How are you getting to Texas? Well, because if I just keep going up, and it's a circle, so I'm going to round back. You're going to hit all that other shit there. Yeah, but if I just keep... You're going to crash into Russia, surely.
Starting point is 00:34:23 Yeah, I definitely, what I'm saying, if with we're ignoring that if we're in the air We're just flying straight the lowest place. I'd hit that I've been Eventually going around the globe is Texas do they teach geography on Vancouver Island I? Don't listen if we go north if we just keep going I'm not saying You live on a glow you live on a sphere and you go north anywhere if we just keep going, I'm not saying that it's the next area. You live on a sphere, Andrew. You go north anywhere, you'll end up exactly where you were. That's my point. It doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:34:52 You go in any direction, you'll come back around. I've never been anywhere north of me. We've got to keep going until we loop around, and then we'll eventually get there. I don't know what you want from me. It's Texas, technically. Well, I asked how far north have you been. You don't know what you want from me. It's Texas Well, I asked how far north have you been you said Hawaii and then you said Texas I don't know what to do. I said I said I don't know where Hawaii is cuz Alaska I know is up above. I don't know if where Hawaii was located on the Alaska scale of where the places are
Starting point is 00:35:22 It's detached from everything. I wasn't sure where the islands were. It's not, it's Texas is the most north I've ever been. Texas is the most north you've ever been and you live in Vancouver? Yeah. Because if you keep going up north, you keep going up. Yeah. You eventually will circle the globe, Gavin. And I'm not going to go over Texas, obviously. Yeah, but the poles stay where they are. Just because you went north for a really long time,
Starting point is 00:35:57 you end up south. That's not north. No, but if I keep going north, I eventually end up south. No, technically, if you keep going north and you only go north, you'll end up south. If you keep going... No, if you... Right, technically, if you keep going north and you only go north, you'll end up just walking in circles around where the North Pole would be. That's what I'm saying!
Starting point is 00:36:10 If I keep going... That's not near Texas, though! No, but it's... Of the areas I've been, if you keep going straight... If you keep going straight over the North Pole, you're going south! Well, eventually... But I'm going north. Eventually, I end up south. But I'm
Starting point is 00:36:28 saying if I started north, and I just kept going as far north as I could. Jeff, help me change the subject as quickly as possible. No, no, you guys are doing great. Keep it up. Eric and I are having a whole other conversation. No, no, no. If I start north, I know eventually it becomes south. I'm answering your
Starting point is 00:36:43 question. I've never been anywhere north You've never answered this question. What do you mean? I just did No, what do we have you ever been to Alaska? No, I've never been anywhere above me. Okay. I've only been below. Your next trip, fly to Anchorage and then that's it. That's your answer Just so you have an answer because otherwise you keep saying Hawaii and Texas. No, I said Hawaii once because I wasn't sure where Hawaii was on the location. I wasn't sure if it was around Alaska.
Starting point is 00:37:12 I wasn't sure if it was above or below. Have you ever been to Kamloops? No. I guess, you know what, technically, I mean, if you go up the island, but that's such a lame. I assume you meant in a different country, not somewhere else in Canada. No, I was asking about Canada because it's. well then yeah, I guess it's just my island It's like a city up my I've never been higher in the mainland than the highest of your island I yeah, I believe that is true. I guess like poor Bernie would be the you've never been to Edmonton or Calgary
Starting point is 00:37:41 Never know. Nope You should go to the very northern tip of Vancouver Island and see if you can see Texas. I definitely cannot. I know where those are. Have you been to Winnipeg? No, I've only been
Starting point is 00:37:57 to Western Canada. I've never been to the East Coast or any of the central areas. I feel like you're not well-traveled at all in Canada, but you've been to other places. You've been to the U.S. a lot. Yeah, I've been to Hawaii.
Starting point is 00:38:09 I've been to San Francisco. I've been to Texas. I've been to California. So is Texas the furthest east you've been? Yeah, I believe that is true. And how did you get there? Did you go west to get east, or did you go east to go east? No, I went, I guess, southeast.
Starting point is 00:38:27 All right, good. The normal way. I went south and then I went east, I guess, right? So I would have went from here to California, connected, or Arizona. Typically, it's Arizona I connect at. And then you go to Texas. But, I mean, I'm not wrong. If I went a straight line, if I'd gone on a plane, had unlimited fuel, and I just flew, just flew north, I'd eventually round around.
Starting point is 00:38:52 I'd round out. I'd come back to where I was. Is that not correct? But who asks that? How is that a part of my question? Was I ever like, what's the furthest north you've been via the south? No, this is how I thought about it, Gavin asked hawaii because i didn't know where it was then we established where it was so i thought okay if i'm hopping on a plane and i'm just going north
Starting point is 00:39:14 i just keep going straight that's the first thing i'll be able to see should we add it into you like a passage of time into this conversation where we just fade out and then it fades back up to the end so the audience doesn't have to see it. I answered your question. I think Iceland is the furthest north I've been. Okay. Was this just like a whole fucking, was this the brag about you've been to Iceland?
Starting point is 00:39:36 What was the point of this question? Oh, I've been to Iceland. How did we get here? I was just adding in, because Jeff said that the furthest north he went was Alaska. I forgot about Iceland. I have been to Iceland a couple times. Yeah, you went to Reykjavik, right?
Starting point is 00:39:48 And Keflavik as well, yeah. Stockholm I don't think is further. I think that's south. But I think Sweden does go a little bit. I don't know. I think Iceland is my furthest. Eric, what about you? He's been to Seattle or Toronto.
Starting point is 00:40:02 Yeah, you can kind of take your pick there. But, I mean, I'm also like, I'm from Southern California, He's been to Seattle or Toronto. Yeah, you can kind of take your pick there. But I mean, I'm from Southern California, so is that more north than either one of those places if you go north to get to... Eventually, according to Andrew. Yeah, that's true. Something to think about. I like how he kept saying, I'm not wrong.
Starting point is 00:40:24 I mean, if you keep going north, eventually it becomes south. But if I started on a northern journey and didn't stop until I came across something I'd been to, it would be back at the U.S. It would be the southern U.S. I get what you're saying. I just, that wasn't what I asked, and I don't know why you said it. Well, I went on the journey. I fulfilled your question. I literally, I went on the journey. I fulfilled your question.
Starting point is 00:40:45 I went on an adventure. It was definitely a journey. I hopped on a plane. In my head. It's Texas. Now that I've pretended that none of that just happened, can I take umbrage with you two assholes? Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:04 I'm a little fucking annoyed with both of you, and here's why, my friends. Go ahead. Okay. So I was in bed last night. I was watching ceiling basketball, as you do. Got my girlfriend snoring right next to me. They got the dog snoring on my feet,
Starting point is 00:41:18 so I can't hear the fucking thing anyway. So I'm like, you know what? I'm going to turn off this game, and I'm just going to go to bed. I'm just going to go to sleep. And they're like, no worries i'm gonna turn off i'm gonna turn off this game and i'm just gonna go to bed i'm just gonna go to sleep and uh like no worries and i turn off the ceiling tv and then i lay down to go to bed and as i'm laying there you know falling asleep uh a very easy common thing for me to do i have a little thought flicks through my head it says uh oh it's wednesday night and i laughed to myself i said i, I bet Gavin and Andrew are having trouble sleeping because they always bitch about it.
Starting point is 00:41:48 And then I laughed to myself for a while and I thought about what idiots you guys are for not being able to sleep. And then I thought, what would they even be stressed out about? And that was it. That was the moment. And then I was awake for like another four hours
Starting point is 00:42:01 and I was cursing you guys the entire time. And then Arrow woke me up at five this morning. is awake for like another four hours and i was cursing you guys the entire time and then arrow woke me up at five this morning so i got two and a half solid hours of sleep maybe three if i'm lucky uh and fuck you too so you had the storm yeah storm didn't bother me at all storm's not an issue i'm not afraid of thunder and lightning. I find it comforting. But the storm that was inside my head was way worse.
Starting point is 00:42:33 Andrew, what's your story? It's funny you mention that, Jeff, because I had the same thought this morning. I texted Gavin, how did he sleep? And I replied, I slept like shit i was up for like three hours with the the really loud storm i don't typically have the sleep issues before the show it's more of like the day of that is terrifying um but i i could not go to sleep
Starting point is 00:42:59 either i was up until 5 a.m my time and then woke up at like 7 45 so i'm on i'm on three hours of sleep but the thing i was doing i found my gems of war jeff oh shit what is it i found my gems of war i want to be clear up front this is a bad video game nobody should be playing this but i can't stop i'm i've become obsessed with the Property Brothers mobile game. I cannot stop playing it. I'm on level 181. It's a mobile game based off of the Property Brothers. I'm in it for the plot, Jeff.
Starting point is 00:43:36 I hear you laughing. I'm a big plot guy. I can't put this story down. It's ridiculous. It's a piece of shit game. Nobody play it, but I can't stop. I'm. It's ridiculous. It's a piece of shit game. Nobody play it. But I can't stop. I'm advancing.
Starting point is 00:43:48 I'm fixing houses. It's a Candy Crush clone. You just start, like, clicking things, push it to. Property Brothers. Property Brothers. Are you not aware of the Property Brothers guys? Oh, I think. I did an event with those dude clones.
Starting point is 00:43:58 I think I've met these people. Yeah. Were they at Brandcast? Were they at the YouTube thing? They probably were. I saw them at, like at a similar thing in LA. I don't like them. I'm not a fan of their show. Why did you start playing?
Starting point is 00:44:10 It's just, it's like, why do they have a game? Was my initial thought. It's like, what could this possibly be? And then it was exactly what I thought. It's a mobile game that is trying to get as much money out of you as possible. I'll never put money into it, but I can't stop playing it now and i just keep
Starting point is 00:44:25 advancing the story it's great it's shitty and all like the fun ways you'd want from that game like they're constantly plugging their book and really force ways the audio yeah like it's like you put so you you do these puzzles and you get coins and then you can upgrade the house for people and it'll be like you put books down they'll be like oh i noticed you put your book and then they'll just show a screenshot of their book they'll be like yeah maybe some good reading for you if you want they keep plugging it the audio is like clearly pulled from the show but they also have filmed things for the game like i hit level 100 and it was a video of them congratulating me and popping off confetti it's it's ridiculous it's a terrible game but i cannot stop playing it how many hours into the story are you
Starting point is 00:45:10 well that's you know what i'm probably a solid 10 hours into this game because jeff when you hit certain points how it works is like all mobile games you get a certain amount of tries and then you have to wait for them to charge or you can pay money to get out of it but handle it at certain times you get unlimited energy if you hit certain levels or if you level up a house you get like one hour of unlimited energy so you just got to grind those puzzles out you got to go deep in those moments um it's terrible but it is my new garfield cart i was playing last night until five because you were waiting for time to pass so you could play more property brothers no well that was part of the issue is i got i got an unlimited boost at like 2 a.m
Starting point is 00:45:50 i gotta fully can't waste it at all yeah i'm excited to see the video when i beat level 200 um but the problem is is that they just started this event and i'm uh i'm number one i'm number one in my category i'm in like the beginner tier because i'm early in the game but they have a leaderboard for this event and uh but what so what are you actually what are you doing to get such a high score like what is the hard bit oh my god it looks like the sims that picture it's it's terrible uh you have to complete puzzles, and they put little tickets on some of the pieces. And you need to try to collect as many tickets as you can
Starting point is 00:46:31 per puzzle clear. You end up with sort of like between 15... If you have like 20, that's a really good run. So are you number one in the world? I'm number one in the world right now for the beginner category. I'm the number one Property Brothers player in like the hobbyist tier i gotta say there's a lot of gaps between each of those scores i feel like it's maybe not the most populated leaderboard in the world i yeah i mean i don't
Starting point is 00:46:58 know how many people are playing when andrew started way at the bottom at number 14, he had to work his way all the way up to number one. Hey, I started at 42, okay? You don't understand. It was a climb. It's been a journey to get here. I'm going to hear Jeff as a basketball fan. You will appreciate this. Tell me you do not want to advance the story
Starting point is 00:47:22 when you get plot moments like that. It's Drew explaining the 43-inch vertical, and he's dunking. That's true. this tell me you do not want to advance the story when you get plot moments like that it's it's drew explaining the 43 inch vertical and he's dunking that's true and jonathan said i'm gonna dunk on this house i don't know if jonathan knows what what is his name john i don't even know their names i'm not a fan of you i don't know they're very bland like they comes off disingenuous whenever you fail they say like good try it just comes across like you're a piece of shit, and they're making fun of you for it. It's great.
Starting point is 00:47:49 So I've been playing Property Brothers nonstop for the past week. How did you get onto this? It was on the App Store. I was just randomly looking for something to download. I don't know why. Did they have a game? And then now all of a sudden I'm on level 184, I think. I haven't been that level of bored in a while where i'm just like i wonder what's on the app i'm in listen there's plot
Starting point is 00:48:13 steve is the little spoon gavin i'm just i'm clipping moments left and right i'm on a journey i'm a big plot guy i need there's seven houses is there a piece of the plot around why that guy's chin is so big look at the state of it. I don't know. You notice alarming is that they have human hands. Like everything else is drawn or at least the faces are drawn. They're like real pictures, but with the heads replaced. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:34 It's very odd. That is weird. Oh, should we do that for us? Should we all take pictures and we put them together, but we'll put like a CG head on each of us? Why? Why would we do that? Just for like a thumbnail for one of these episodes.
Starting point is 00:48:48 Okay. I still don't, like if we're going to do a thumbnail, it has to be Jeff and the Port-A-Potty. That's the greatest photo. Well, that would be for that episode, sure. We're doing thumbnails for every episode now? For a podcast? It's a lot of effort.
Starting point is 00:49:00 It is a lot. We don't even have our Twitter account anymore. Well, I have it, but like, I don't like, it's account anymore well i have it but like i don't like wait so we took it and then it just died yeah well it's there i mean do you want to run it we don't have anyone running the twitter right now well no yeah just volunteer to run it well because they they they were done with it i don't think they want to do it anymore i don't want to do it anymore yeah why don't we to do it anymore. Yeah. Why don't we just stop paying them and say, keep going? You should talk to the producer.
Starting point is 00:49:27 I mean, it's not... Work that out. Yeah. That's a great... It sounds like a great idea. You know what's weird, though, is I feel weird posting on it. Like, I feel like I don't want to misrepresent the show in any way, but it's been run by someone not attached to the show for seven months.
Starting point is 00:49:40 So, I'm nervous about posting anything or retweeting. I'm like, I'm not sure about this. Oh, my God. who runs the Instagram the face Instagram yeah someone who's not us oh I have I know who it is uh I have a line to that person uh but yeah it's not us it's all very mysterious that is fascinating that's my life that's what I've been by thrilling. So that's why you had three hours sleep. Yeah. Well, I mean, partially.
Starting point is 00:50:09 So when do you graduate from hobbyist? What's next? You know, that's a great question. I can open the app up right now. You should. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:15 Like, well, don't get sucked in. Like, God help us if it's a power hour or whatever. No, no, no. It will not be. I'm out of moves.
Starting point is 00:50:24 I guess I ended on a yeah if you had a power hour over the top of a face recording would you would you have to leave no i would do both at the same time oh i can multitask yeah i wouldn't put it down that you know what this is a great oh i'm now in fourth place i gotta this is oh you got kicked off really is it daily readable yeah it's constantly updating the person the leader right now has almost a thousand tickets. I'm really, I'm behind. Oh, you got wrecked. I gotta pick this up.
Starting point is 00:50:49 I did. I'll get back into it. I'll get my boosts. Because you lost Garfield. That's true. I did lose Garfield. And you lost Halo. I lost Halo?
Starting point is 00:50:59 In what way? Oh, well, you know when we said that thing and I said that I was going to beat beat one of your times and not tell you and then you had a day to respond? Yes. Well, I beat one of your times. Now I have to respond to it? You have 24 hours. Oh, my God. This is inconvenient.
Starting point is 00:51:16 See, what I did at the time, Gavin, is I told you I had a save loaded up and I'd immediately take the time back. Yeah. I didn't. I just didn't feel like playing Halo. I've just been lying about that the entire time. What? Okay. What level? Did you do this? Did you actually do this? Yeah, I don't
Starting point is 00:51:31 remember what level. I did it, I think, the week we were talking about it. I've just had it saved. I guess I'll play Halo. Well, fuck. I got the property, brothers. You have 24 hours from 3.49pm. And if you don't You have 24 hours from 3.49 p.m. And if you don't beat my time, after finding my time,
Starting point is 00:51:52 you have to eat a pencil. Oh, okay. Was that the bet? I don't remember, was it? I have no clue what the bet was. I will say we should clarify, because Andrew, he likes to work around the corners. Three forty nine hour time.
Starting point is 00:52:08 It's one forty nine his time. We don't want to give him twenty six. OK. Oh, that's true. That's true. It's a good point. Also, this is a fascinating turn of events, by the way. I am gobsmacked.
Starting point is 00:52:21 You know, I was going to wait until we did our first one in person. I thought it'd be really fun to drop that on Andrew when he was with us and didn't necessarily have good access. But we were. I just felt like piling onto all the stuff he's lost was also the right move. I don't have the Master Chief collection even downloaded. That's going to be an issue for you. Yeah. That'll be probably an hour.
Starting point is 00:52:40 That'll be 23 hours remaining. I'm going to start that right now. Speaking of playing games that can you download an Xbox game and upload your audio file on at the same day on the same connection is that gonna be possible yeah I'm gonna it's
Starting point is 00:52:55 gonna take me to I'll be here trying to fucking pro export the episode a whole week chat I'll be ready for the next one. Where is the mask? So I asked Jeff earlier today, Gavin. I asked Jeff if he could ask Will Smith one question.
Starting point is 00:53:15 What would he ask Will Smith? And Jeff's answer, I was very confused by. I misread. I had the most confusing conversation with Andrew today. It was so frustrating. Let me tell you about it. Gav, I'm just going to read it to you, okay? And I'll see if you think it's confusing.
Starting point is 00:53:30 Okay? Here we go. Andrew Panton. If you could ask Will Smith one question, what would you ask? Jeff Ramsey. Want to play Xbox? Andrew Panton. What do you want to play? Oh, he's being Will Smith now I don't know
Starting point is 00:53:48 there was a delay in time okay I was I was trying to figure out a thing for the stream with Eric at this time I was multitasking I was tired I'm on three hours of sleep my brain is on property brothers I like that when you're low on sleep your your response is let me do more things than normal
Starting point is 00:54:05 but so there's a delay I just looked at my phone and in the preview image you only see the most recent text I just saw wanna play xbox I was like that's a weird request by Jeff so I said what do you wanna play and I said and I said
Starting point is 00:54:23 we're talking about this in the episode. Yeah. That's all I said. So first of all, you knew I was on three hours. I'm multitasking. We're all on three hours. It's Thursday.
Starting point is 00:54:33 It's, I realized this. It's the shittiest. It is such a bad question. It is a useless question. Why? It's such a waste. What's what we're going to do?
Starting point is 00:54:43 Hang out. Play some Halo or some shit. You have one question. Your question is, can I talk more to you via Xbox? Yeah. It's a very,
Starting point is 00:54:52 it's a disappointing, I feel like you're really missing your shot on that question. No, dude, I got to play, I tell you what, I met Anthony,
Starting point is 00:54:59 three years ago, I got to meet Anthony Davis, right? I said hello to him, he said hello to me, it was a yada yada yada, it was awkward. We sat down and we played video was a yada, yada, yada. It was awkward. We sat down and we played video games together for 45 minutes.
Starting point is 00:55:08 We became best friends. It's a great icebreaker. Do you want to play Xbox basically says, hey, Will Smith, do you want me to trick you into becoming my friend? Yeah, but what if he says no thanks? Then I go, okay, then I guess he's not interested in being my friend. At least I know. And I know he's not a gamer.
Starting point is 00:55:26 And so we probably wouldn't have a lot in common. What would you ask Will Smith? I really want to know if he ever met Randy Quaid. I've wanted to know this for a long time because they're both in Independence Day, but they're never in the same scene. I want to know if he ever met Randy Quaid. If I could ask Will Smith one question.
Starting point is 00:55:45 You want to know specifically on the shoot orandy quaid if i could ask will smith one question you want to know specifically like on the shoot or like even like at the premiere i'm just curious in general if he ever crossed paths with randy quaid i think it's just thinking about that i've seen that movie a lot of times i love independence day it's a great bad movie and uh they never meet you said great bad movie yeah independence day is definitely not a great good movie. Yeah, it is. It's just a great good movie. It's like a... No, it's...
Starting point is 00:56:09 Gold bad. It's a blood buster classic. There's nothing bad about that movie. It's a fun... It is a really bad movie. It's a fun bad movie. There's some plot lines, like the fact that he can seem to Wi-Fi into the alien ship somehow.
Starting point is 00:56:22 Yeah. That's Bluetooth. It's a dumb movie. We probably got Bluetooth from the aliens. It's like Bluetooth and Velcro were in the glove compartment of the spaceship at Roswell.
Starting point is 00:56:34 Dude, the practical effects in that as well, amazing. Yeah, there's cool things in it. I said it's a good, bad movie. It's a dumb movie. It's a masterful performance by Harry Connick Jr. It's a masterful performance by Harry Con connick jr really uh-huh let's roll the tires and light the fires baby that's a great yeah you remember that you were able to recall it from memory instantly
Starting point is 00:56:55 yeah because i've seen it all because it's i've seen that movie quite a few times i don't know if it's iconic the first half of that movie is fantastic that's like the beginning up until like the white house explodes it's just a great movie oh shit there you go i didn't even ask will smith there's your answer thank you gab gab just posted a photo of uh of randy quaid with will smith and chevy why is chevy chase there what what what you call him like? Is his name Chevy Chase? Is it Chevy? Chevy? Chevy? Chevy? Chevy?
Starting point is 00:57:28 Chevy Chase. Hello. Chevy? Chevy? Chevy Chase? Chevy Chase? What's his name? Chevy?
Starting point is 00:57:38 Chevy? Chevy? What? What's his name? Chevy chevy chase you got chevy chase hey gab cornelius crane chase nobody calls me cornelius it's ridiculous Nobody calls him Cornelius. It's ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:58:06 I love cool stage names that are super lame real names. Johnny Knoxville's a great one. PJ Clap, right? Philip Clap. What a fucking name. She's being chased. It's not like a bad name on its own,
Starting point is 00:58:23 but when you know that it's like Johnny Knoxville's name, and Johnny Knoxville is such a badass name. Well, I was born Jeffrey Wright, and I allowed myself my name to be changed to Fink. Jeffrey Fink. And then I had to go through like the 20 important years with that name. The 20 years of getting shit on in school. If you could redo school with a with a different name what would you oh my god anything it'd be cornelius clap if there's a if there's a comment lever leave her out there whose name is Cornelius Clap, please listen.
Starting point is 00:59:09 Hey, Gav. And do you go by Chevy Knoxville? I think we need to address something between us that's becoming too much of an issue to ignore. We might as well do it here. I don't know if you know what it is yet or not, but you'll pick it up pretty quickly. Chevy. Every time you and I make plans to hang out,
Starting point is 00:59:30 we cause a week of bad weather in Texas. It's true. And I feel like we've been waiting a while to not make plans just to really... Because spring here is summer. You really have to just get those, wait for all those days to come in. And we've had back-to-back sun. And we we made plans for the first time in three four weeks yeah week of thunderstorms an entire week yeah an entire week so that as if to say no you know you're not moving
Starting point is 00:59:56 it up or back a day fuck you we're we're nuking uh everything near it yeah yeah and i i looked like we made the plans and i looked and Saturday was the icon was all sun. Sunday was sun behind the cloud. They're now both gray clouds with lightning bolts coming out. Yeah. I remember the conversation in the moment. And the frustrating thing is this is the third time in a row this has happened. And I don't know what to do about it because I want to hang out with you, but I don't want
Starting point is 01:00:21 to fucking cause a week of misery every time we try to do it. Well, I think if we did a same day hangout i see it might not apply or if if it did apply we're gonna wreck the week after we've hung out we have to we have to be faster than mother nature i like the way you think that we have to start doing 7 a.m checks go outside look at the sky call it that day be hanging out by 9 a.m it's like uh it's like when you call it there's a number you can call to get the surf report before you get out of bed and like drive down there with the surfboard on your on the back of your car and you're like you call the surfboard and they're like don't bother you're like oh staying in bed today
Starting point is 01:00:57 we should have that like jeff and gavin hang out the jeff report The Jeff report. That wasn't a bad episode. That was pretty good. Why would you say that? Did you expect it to be a bad episode? Yeah, I thought it was going to be a bad episode. Everybody was tired. Andrew did say that, actually.
Starting point is 01:01:18 He was talking about how little sleep he had. And I think, in your words, Andrew, you said... This could be a bad one. This might be the bad one. Yeah, well, we're always worried about the bad one. I didn't sleep well. I didn't feel like I had much to talk about. I checked in on Gavin. He didn't sleep well.
Starting point is 01:01:29 I checked in on Jeff. He didn't sleep well. Jeff said I have nothing to talk about either. I was like, we're fucked. This is going to be a terrible episode. And well, I feel like we got some good stuff out of this. We do. We did for sure.
Starting point is 01:01:43 I agree with you there. I was similarly concerned. I sat down about 15 minutes earlier than normal after my cereal, fucking supercharged by my Texas-sized Crunch Berries, and I started writing just like little bits, and I wrote a bunch of stuff, and we got to almost all of it,
Starting point is 01:02:00 but I still have three things on the list that we didn't even get to today, so today ended up being pretty productive. Yeah, and I still have three things on the list that we didn't even get to today. So today, you're going to be pretty productive. Yeah. And I'm probably going to crash now after this,
Starting point is 01:02:08 maybe try to have a little nap. Andrew probably shouldn't because he's got Halo times to beat though. Oh, yeah. You're not going to sleep tonight. The problem is I don't remember what the,
Starting point is 01:02:18 I think it was just doubling down on everything if I lost that. Oh, you'll eat two pencils? Yeah. I mean, I'm not going to eat one, so I don't care if it's two. What do you, let let me ask you a question what do you put in the middle to make
Starting point is 01:02:29 a like a pencil sandwich oh hmm i'll tell you when i'm not putting on it fucking branston i'm telling you i think that's a mistake i think the branston would really mask some of that wood for branston oh yeah what if you fermented a pencil in Branston for a year and then ate it I bet that'd be the best way you could eat a pencil I love this idea certainly not so we put it in episode 51 we pickle it because oh my god Gavin Gavin Andrew was all into pickling he's super excited about it like not three weeks weeks ago, right? Dude, pickle pencil. We get him to pickle a pencil in Branston's in episode 52. We'll push it a bit to give him time to prepare. So we like, and it's like, and then it's a perfect,
Starting point is 01:03:12 this is a perfect, this is perfect for the show, right? Episode 52, Andrew fires the fire extinguisher as a send-off from season one, like it perfectly encapsulates all of season two. And then a look forward to the end of season two, for the next year, we have a pickled pencil. Thank you for listening. And then in episode 104, we pop the cap and Andrew eats it.
Starting point is 01:03:30 It's amazing! I think it will have the texture of a Slim Jim after a year. I think that would be delicious. Maybe you should try it, Gavin. Since you're fucking a big Branston pickle guy, you love it. You think it's the greatest thing ever made? It's not my choice, Andrew. You've got to beat a Halo level or not uh okay i need to fix i still haven't fucking
Starting point is 01:03:50 talent you get you keep drawing this episode out you need to be playing halo i do you're right oh well i'm trying to do it i just i did thanks for listening subscribe right give a star give five stars not one give five i believe that's what we want okay uh it's perfect this is your job yeah you have 23 hours and 45 minutes to go uh hey all that stuff andrew said and next time tune in you guys remind me i forgot to talk about how i've unfortunately turned into bernie in a way that i'm not all too comfortable with and it's bugging me. And my dog, all about my dog squirting blood. Oh. And then I forgot to get to that one.
Starting point is 01:04:30 And then also we didn't talk about how tomorrow is the break shit live stream at 4 p.m. central time. For the listeners, it's not tomorrow. That has a lot to do with why I couldn't sleep last night. So that probably means
Starting point is 01:04:43 I won't be sleeping tonight either. And end.

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