Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Colin Jost & Michael Che

Episode Date: September 11, 2024

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We finally got the update guys, which is incredible. The Saturday Night Live current update stars. Yeah. I could listen. We've had a Colin Joe's. Ackroyd who's a big update guy. We had Tina Bay. We've had Colin Quinn.

We've had Kevin Nealon, update guy. Dennis Miller. Love update. It's such. Dennis Miller. Love update. It's such a fun part of the show and we get to get to... Jimmy Fallon too, sorry. Oh yeah. Some of the inner workings of update and what it's like being on update versus a hosting update.

And Michael Che has a Eddie Murphy pillow in the background. We do joke about it. Right. And I told it Eddie Murphy story and I didn't even know we had a Eddie Murphy pillow in the background. We do joke about it. Right. And I told it Eddie Murphy story and I didn't even know he had the Eddie Murphy pillow. I saw it. I know that's what it was. It was in the background. It was like, uh, they,

they couldn't have been a nicer couple of fellas and, and they're really, really, um, humble. I mean, I think they're still earning their way. They feel they are. And I think their chemistry is great. And they're killing it on SNL. They've done a great job. They have a big following and they have a big show coming out on Peacock we're going to talk about. That's going to be tomorrow night, looks like. So that would be September 12th, correct? Yes, yes. Michael Che and Colin Jost, New York after dark. Peacock. We're gonna do a live show, it's gonna be a lot of fun. And we get into all the ins and outs of the show.

So let's get right to it, here they are. You do not wake up with that hair. Do you like that? This I just got a haircut, but I I go to sleep with it and don't do anything. So I kind of up with Dana and I are going to spend a half hour after angry about this. I tried to get heights because I knew I was going to bring it. I got a lot of product here. I want to get heights because I knew I was going to bring it. I got a lot of product here.

I wanted to get heights because I knew you're going to bring it. So I have 18 different sprays and lotions and ointments. There's fillers, lotions, sprays. Do you wash it every night? Like, do you wash it every night? Yeah. How do you do it? I did.

I don't anymore. I wash every four nights. Thank you. That's a good question. Thank you. Because because I'd strip it down and they didn't. They didn't say that was wrong. Is Michael relating to this at all? Next day hair is the best hair. We just had to talk to a wardrobe about like what we're wearing for this thing we're doing this week and I was like what's

Michael wearing and she was like you know what Michael's wearing. He's wearing a hat and he's wearing a hoodie. Yeah, him I was like, oh right, yes. Is that for the special? I wore a black t-shirt for 150 podcast episodes. I like having a uniform. I don't want to think too much. There's some kind of magic with a black t-shirt and the white comedian. I don't know but I don't know if it's a Carlin thing, but it's like, uh, Yeah, it is. It is. Isn't it. Or was it a comedian who had a joke? He was like, I'm on a diet. It's called wearing a black t-shirt. Exposed. Now, Dana, it's a little bit Carlin-y, early carlin. He did some specials in the black t-shirt.

I don't know. I have no brand and I don't have much personality. Our guests today are Colin Schroeder and Jake. Let's do the thing about the show up front first. We want to, and then we can circle about to it around. Okay. So is it September 12th? Because I thought you said this weekend, that's Thursday. Thursday. Yeah. Is that, that's not a weekend, right?

No. Thursday is just a day. Yeah. So Thursday, September 12th. It's Friday night. These guys are gonna be live cause they can only do live. It's in their contract. Right.

Is it gonna be live? Colin Jost and Michael Che present New York After Dark. First question, 9 p.m. Is it twilight or is it dark? I'm not saying it really matters, but is it after dark at 9 p.m. in September? Is it a lie in the title already? Misinformation is the word of the day.

Okay. 9 p.m. Eastern. It's gonna be dark. I'm gonna predict it's dark. Yeah, I think so too. 6 PM Pacific. What time will it be on in Hawaii? By the way, that was a real gotcha question about the title.

We're really drilling you. It's gonna be live, I guess, live at 3 PM Hawaii. Okay. We got six viewers over there that want to know. American Samoans watching. It's a breakfast show. You have to get up pretty early in America. Okay, so here's what I want to know.

Honestly, what is the show? Really? Is it an hour long update or no? What is it? Oh my God, no. I didn't think so, okay. It's really, it's just a evolving event. It's not written yet.

Evolving? It's very Saturday Night Live. It's like six months away and your guys has, even though it's like 24 hours, right? SNL is all about just a month is like 10 years away. So you'll get down to it after this podcast. It is weird that you never write ahead because you're just putting out fires the week you're at SNL.

So you're never like, everyone's like, well, you must write ahead a little bit if you know someone's coming and you kind of process anyone that's coming beyond that week. No, anything you think of in August would never possibly make it to the show. Even though two weeks before anything you think of will never ever make it to the show. I don't know. I would always take a sketch idea and go, I'm saving this for Michael Keaton. And they're like, dumb idea. Anything good, get it out. But we had like 200 white male hosts in a row.

That was like, our problem was like, there was no, every host was like the next guy. So if you have a generic sketch, you're like, we just wrote it for Jeff Daniels, then Tom Hanks, then Alec Baldwin. You know what I mean? So it's very hard to go and then you have a female host, but you try to mix it up, but it was hard to write different things every week. That was my excuse by the way. Check that hair. I don't think it's much different now though. Yeah.

You've got, you got a pretty, pretty mixed bag, but it's still, it was more just about bad writing on my part. In the pitch meeting, Lauren goes, David, anything this week? I go, nothing for you, Tom Hanks, sorry. I'm saving a couple of winners for Alec Baldwin in three weeks. Oh, that's nice. Okay. David and I toured together and he was my opener, one of my best openers. Oh yeah.

And he wrote some jokes for me or added onto the Grumpy Old Man sketch. So he's self-deprecating. Who's the more humble between you two? Who's the more, Hannah? Me. More humble. Yeah.

True or false? Has any of you ever said to the other one after the update, if you ever do that again, I'm going to kick your ass. I was something toward that. Yeah. I think jalapeno business. I was pretty furious about that one. That it worked so well.

The punch. Well, I remember in like, in like run through when you did it, cause I never heard it before and I don't remember what the setup was, but the punchline was jalapeno business. I was like, if you tell that joke on air, I'm leaving, I'm quitting the show. He did it on air and it destroyed and I was so frustrated.

I was so frustrated. I don't even know what we do anymore. If that were- I would have honestly cut it if't even know what we do anymore. If that were- I would have honestly cut it if it wasn't so upsetting to you. And then I was like, I'm definitely doing this. Can we know what the setup was or is it, what is the controversy? Do you remember?

I'd rather not know, but yeah. You do not have to. I don't remember at all, but- But it crushed. It was, I mean- It's a funny punchline, no matter what. Yeah, um, but it crushed. It was my funny punch line. No matter what. Yeah. It doesn't need it. It almost, you could say it without context.

Have you ever, have you guys ever hugged each other and said, love you, bro? Okay. Yes. Well, one says yes. One says no. Well, yeah, I was, it was definitely, um, no, it was definitely a one-sided hug if it ever happened. Have you ever said, oh no, here comes Sarah Sherman sliding in again? Yeah, maybe once or twice.

Is it a Sherman week? Yeah, it's a Sherman week. It's so funny when people are like, oh my God, it's so, she's really like going after you. You know, you're like, I mean, she is, but it's so clearly. A joke. Yeah. It's like, is everything okay between you and Sarah?

You're like, yeah, if it wasn't, it would be crazy. They're like, but she said you're leading the new Nazi party. And you're like, well, that was sort of a joke, I think. Yeah. Why are they looking for someone? Where's it coming from? Hmm.

I like everything I'm hearing so far. Is that your one of your sponsors? One thing I find interesting, just watching you guys casually and wondering, because I feel like when I stepped off after seven years, my final sketch was the best I ever was as far as just being out of my head mentally. And it seems like you guys, at some point in the last few years got so loose, then it's really fun to watch. I don't know, the way you're interplay and the way you make fun of each other or when you surprise each other with

jokes. Do you think the 10 years just kind of wears you down into such a relaxed state and confidence, right? That's my overarching question. I'll be quiet now. But no, first of all, thank you. But also like, I think everything that could possibly go wrong has gone wrong. So there's kind of nothing left to be afraid of.

And that way, like it's kind of nothing left to be afraid of. In that way, it's kind of like the confidence of being so bad that how much worse can it get kind of thing, you know what I mean? But it still gets like, it's still SNL, so it's still nerve-racking, but it's a lot more fun when you realize, there'll be another show next week and we're just having fun. There were at least a good three years of feeling like it was bad or not working. I was certainly like personally feeling like I was trying to find it or figure it out and everyone's seemingly not into it and not know, feeling like, not knowing if

you're gonna get fired every summer for at least three years. So once we got past that existential dread of doing it and whatever, then it started to get more fun for certainly for me, I felt that way. Is there something when you are replacing someone that there's, you feel like the audience is mad that you're there or they're just not ready yet and you gotta sort of win them over after a while. Yeah, totally. I always feel like it's like the stepdad effect. It's always like, it doesn't matter how good you are,

you're not dad to them, you know? And then you kind of stick around for long enough that they start to kind of just know you as the job. To find new kids. Yeah. Yeah. They call you know you. To find new kids. Yeah. They call you dad. They're always new kids. Yeah.

Yeah. Remember the Gilbert Godfrey thing about the coming in? Because he came in in 80, right? Like, yeah, first cast left. That he was like, agent at the height of Beatlemania. But they were like, we're replacing the Beatles with these guys. He's like, that's what it felt coming in as the second after that first SNL cast. That was pretty grim.

Then they got Eddie. Was Eddie with Gilbert? He came in a little bit later. The show was going on and then Eddie kind of came in as a feature. I was in New York at the time and I knew a guy I'd seen. He said, you gotta see this kid, Eddie Murphy, at Comic Strip.

He's crushing. He's a baby, he's in a crib, come see him. I go, really, how good is he? I mean, come on. He's no Dan Aykroyd or something. You go, no, you got to see this kid. And then boom. Let's ask Michael's pillow.

Is that a... I can't believe I turned to the right side, too. I've never turned to the right side in a Zoom in my life. No. I'm always like... Or on Upgate, when there's a graphic, I'm always like... Here. Here, no?

Oh, there. I'm curious, do you guys, do you have an overriding sort of producer that's helping you with everything? Or do you actually produce? Because casts will come up throughout the week, right? And kind of go, I got an idea. And who are they telling me? Who do you blame when you kill a bit? Oh, you know, I mean, everyone loves to slide in

and be front and center with you guys at this point. They got hats on, they got props, I mean, some really, really. They got hats on. Well, they got, yeah, they're playing Eskimos. I don't know, you know, they're hiding, and they're doing some very creative, potent stuff. And so and you guys are very good at playing straight to them. But do you have, is there a political environment about that?

I feel like the closer to the end of the season, the office gets more and more crowded, you know, like when the season is about to end. But yeah, that thing is pretty, I don't know. Sometimes we're like looking for them. Sometimes like there's times where like we don't have features and we don't understand why. Like there's like two or three options that we have to like send a reminder.

Like, hey, if you guys got like features, let us know. But yeah, it's always kind of tricky. You gotta ping them. If you ever had no update features. We did last year. Remember we had an oops, oops, all oops, no features, whatever. Oops, no features. That's because it got cut,

not because we didn't have them. Yeah, because it got cut at dress. So it was just we went straight through for whatever it was, like eight to 10 minutes or something. It was kind of a fun, different energy to, because we'd never done it before. It was kind of fun to feel out. You're like, I've never worked 12 minutes straight in a row, but I did it. You know, when I would do features and if there was no Adam doing a song, there was no Farley going,

I says, I says, and I'm like, oh, I'm the only one. Oh, thank God. And then you get caught. You're like, what the fuck? This is the only time I thought I was the only option you went with. Yeah. Yeah.

Because you guys, I guess have never been a guest on it. Update. He did one feature there where he rolled around to the other side. Oh, that's right. Basically endorsed Japanese style toilets, if I remember correctly. Yeah, I got a bidet. I was really excited to talk about it,

but I couldn't find a new setup to get into it. So I was like, can I just do a feature where I just talk about it for two minutes and I got to do it. It blew my mind. That's funny. Yeah, this is hilarious. I mean, it is two minutes and I got to do it. It blew my mind. That's funny. Yeah, this is hilarious. I mean, it is interesting because it a little bit

like rodeo because you're in there in your chair, maybe Chris Rock's ahead of me or something or someone else. And then they go out of the shoot that you make a left turn and then it's 20 million people, you know, all that. And then you come back around. So it's the last time I did Church Lady, I think is with you guys and Colin. It's where I'm in the shoot and then you roll out,

the chair's actually rolling and then you hear, meow. And the crowd goes, wow. Put your weight for all the, you know, all the love. And then you deconstruct all the goodwill. But it's nerve wracking coming out there. Is it more, was it even when you were on the show, more nerve wracking to come on Update than to be in another like a regular sketch?

Kind of, only because of that waiting. Then Dennis Miller's out there, Christ thanks who invented the lemonade pitcher. He's crushing. Dennis Milder's out there, Christ thanks who invented the lemonade pitcher, all right? And he's crushing. And you follow it on the cards and then they wait and then push you out. And so the audience doesn't see you, I think, at home

if it's still this way, where they go to one shop but you're still out there. And so the crowd starts to get something's happening and it kind of throws their, does it throw that last joke because they're looking some of the times, especially if it's like, so Bowen's coming by in a giant like moth costume. What's this going to be in their half list? And you're like, no, no, no, no, hear this one last thing I have to say about Hillary.

You're like this bone bone. Hang on. Hang on. Okay. Bring them out. I have to say that if the updates not going slow, it's a little less nerve wracking. If update is crushing and maybe the first guest is crushing,

it's a little more, okay. But if it's a bad night, it's less nerve wracking. Dennis Miller, I think said, get them next time to me or something on air. I'm like, God damn, dude. Oh my God. Fucking broken bat single. I saw my cards being, you know, cause they flipped through the cards during the

break or whatever. He looked at my cards and he thought, Christ sakes, I thought you're going to go down in a heap of dog do it. There's one, not one joke in the bunch, you know. It's a great joke writer and mine's more really me. But so, um, yeah, how many likes, how many like Spade in America's did you do? Do you think Spade in America? Thank you for bringing that up. Um, you know, it was called the Hollywood Minute, but no, I tried. I left. Yeah. Well, after my whatever.

Did you first do it on SNL? Yeah, no, it was just, when I was leaving, Lauren was missing me, Adam and Chris. Everyone kind of left at the same time. So Lauren said, why don't you stay? Why don't you stay and do a, he was patting me like this. And then he goes, you can just do a five minute segment a week and it

won't be update. You just do whatever you want. I don't know why I never tried to update, but I said, uh, okay. So he goes, you can do field bits. You can do anything you want. So we just named it something stupid. And then they gave me one writer and I was sort of separate from the show. So I did a Hollywood Minute once, but I went to the World Series. I didn't feel bits, which are fucking way harder than I thought.

And you know, eight hours of shooting for a two and a half minute bit, maybe. And then came back and then that was Will Ferrell came in and those guys. So I sort of overlapped with them, but I didn't really. Get the same bond I had with the other guys because I wasn't really doing sketches. I was just on the road and doing stuff. Okay. That's a good question. My memory, I'm trying to remember what, what, cause I remember watching those.

And, but I don't remember when, what the timeline was that it felt like it was. I saw, you know, I knew it for years really well. Yeah. It may have only been for like a year, right? It was just one year. And, uh, other than that, it was just fighting for update bits. And, uh, we did love doing update. Like you were saying, it's funny that I'm you're on the other side of it.

And, uh, Dana and I did a lot of update bits. It's so fun, but it is scary that last few seconds when you're in the dark and then you go, if I just go there, that's 20 million people. I'm just, I'm just, I'm going to get there soon. Or you could just walk out and go ta-da and you'd be on camera. But it's hard not to do that. It's like a psychological thing. Does it ever matter like whether it's something that you've done a bunch of times or it's

something that you're trying? Like the feeling is it, is it more or less nerve wracking either way? Well, I think if Dana was in the church later, I think he'd be more confident. But if you're doing a new bit, it's scary because you have to sort of get them to bite within one or two lines and run with it. Like if you come on a costume,

they kind of know what you're doing. I think I got pushed out. I was Jeff Foxworthy. And they kind of were thinking, it's already funny because you've got a little look and I have an accent. And then I think I was saying, how do you know if you're a tornado or something? At first, it was an AIDS joke. This sounds horrible, but I was like,

if you have it, you might be the AIDS virus. And so I changed it to Ebola. That was a big discussion. Nice correction. Yeah, because Downey and of course Downey was probably the one going, just do it. I'm like, Downey, you're always the one pushing us out there and daring us. And then guess who gets fired? It's not you. They're like, he's a year later going, Spade was a good kid. He was a little too rough on the edges.

That's the one you told me. No one, no one walks in at home is like, I bet that was a Downey. It's only writers later that go, was that Jack Handy or Downy? So overall it's fun not to take over. That was, it was fun and it was, it's very scary and you want it to work. Lawrence thing is,

I don't know if he always said this or not, but he's, his view, I guess now is like that you, you can't be a star on the show if you if you can't be a star on update like coming out doing a feature like you that you know that's it's really rare for someone to become a star if they if they don't score in a feature on update but I don't know if that's always been that's interesting I didn't hear that he just told me where you live is important so but he just told me where you live is important. So it was, and he also said about stars that are in too many movies.

Well, what I've learned is they can't miss you if you don't go away. That's what I'm like. The minute you get hot, you can feel yourself getting less hot. That was a good one. Also following his rules, there's like no way to act. Everything.

There's so if we wrote down all 200 rules. Oh, there is so many. They're brilliant. Some of them are just make you think. Have you heard this one? And I've said this before, but I thought it was I can't even believe it's Lawrence. He says, oh, marriage is a prison that everyone's trying to escape into. Excuse me.

He just has all these things that I don't know where they come from, but. My dad said, marriage is the only game that two can play and both can lose. I was like, Jesus. He was right after the divorce. Thanks, absentee dad. He also said, the fucking you're getting isn't worth the fucking you're getting.

I'm like, thanks dad. It's my fourth birthday. Can we just eat the cake? But I think that's a great thing to say about, about update. Like they have to buy you on your own, not in a sketch. You know what I mean? Like just we like you or we don't. Yeah.

And that's kind of a, that's kind of an interesting thing to say. I agree. And people say- I've never heard that before actually. That's a good one. Even if you made it up, I like it. I had a reverse thing because Church Lady had her own set and was in home base.

And then sooner or later it's where characters, when they have less heat, then they pop out. They go to die. But Church Lady doesn't have a set or a show all of a sudden. She's just rolling out. They go, were you the cold opening guy? And you're like, he had a giant set, he had a theme song, he had movie star guests. Now he's just next to calling for like, he's got one minute.

The wig is not like the original wig, no matter how hard and how great that staff is. You never get back to the original wig. But I just want to clarify this one thing that you guys do literally surprise each other during the live show. You play practical jokes. When did that start? I think that really creates a lot of. Big hook. Yeah.

It's, it's huge. Cause it goes to your relationship. The first version of it was we had a lot of jokes that were like way too harsh. Like the audience just wouldn't laugh at. Oh, and the other guy just way too hard. Yeah. They just wouldn't like we were doing, we would think they were funny and we, but just the audience just would, they're just way too hard. Yeah, they just wouldn't like we were doing We would think they were funny and we but just the audience just would they would just die So we were like well one Christmas was like let's do a grab bag where for Christmas

We give each other a joke that was too harsh for air But and since it's Christmas we get to tell it anyway I think we did that and it the jokes that bomb kill for some reason, just because we all have so great new life. Yeah. So then Colin was like, Oh, wouldn't it be funny if we just did like a joke swap where we wrote jokes for each other, kind of just heightened in the game. And that's kind of how it started. And so I'm thinking he's trying to set me up and he's trying to write jokes, you know you know, to get me to write, like, soft jokes so he could write harsh jokes. So I wrote really harsh jokes

and he did not write harsh jokes. The first one, I kind of just, like, overshot it and then it just became what it is. Yeah, I think it's really interesting that the idea of clarity, you know, that when you did that little setup for it, then the crowd went crazy. It's very, it's a sketch, right? It's stand up. Anytime I watch Young Stand-Up doesn't go over,

I go, they're just not quite sure what you were going for. So yeah. I mean, even like in stand up, we could talk about a sketch idea that bombed at dress rehearsal. And it can be really funny when you're hearing it. And people are like, how is that not on the show? And you're like, well, we definitely tried. And it was pretty clear non-response. You guys have that lane. You're currently on SNL.

And so, yeah, you can talk all about it. The audience is obviously gonna lean forward about that inside baseball. It's the greatest joke I ever got for update and they wouldn't let me do it. And you're like, okay, what is? Exactly. And it's also too like that version of the sketches,

like 15 seconds as opposed to four minutes. Yeah. Yeah, so it makes it a lot cleaner and faster. A lot of times it's just one joke and then we kind of stay in there too long. But for the joke swap, once we kind of figured out that if we just offer up the context of a situation, then almost anything could work.

Then it just became like, well, how far can we go and just have fun with it? Dane, I don't know if you remember, I had a dirty, dirty bit on update and I was so sure it was going to work. This is so horrifying. Here we go, I'm reading it now. I don't know if you guys go to read through, but at read through, I do it and it's basically,

it's dirty. So it's like different ways of masturbation. So I'm like, Oh, who was it? Buddy Whack It. I did all these ones about the Yankees. And then we did Tommy Boy. It didn't even get past read through. Yeah, that was in Tommy Boy.

Yeah, so Cameron Diaz, the jokes were about her. Maybe she was the host or something. And it didn't work. And I was like, fuck. And then in Tommy Boy, I go, hey, can I cram these in here? I'll just, I'll give them to Farley. And it made no sense in the scene, but the movie's about break pads. So we're like, let's just, let's take a break from talking about riveting break pads.

And so we put those kinds of things in and then it's so rare to find a new home for it. But like you were saying with your joke, made me think of that. Like you just look at it from a different angle and you go, oh, maybe this will work. Bada boom. joke made me think of that. Like you just look at it from a different angle and you go, oh, maybe this will work. Bada boom. By the way, both, both, both Tommy boy and trading places, I would argue, and also both the Dan Aykroyd maybe, but both have plots that you would in no way like third act, third acts that you would never think are going to land in a comedy.

One is orange futures, right? In trading, and break pad merging schemes in Timeboy. And they both work really well. You're like, whoa, how did those get pulled off? Yeah, even a pitch would not have been green lit. I think it was green lit first. And then they're like, a movie about brake pads are like, say no more. In Ohio.

You're right. Usually broad comedies are really straining in the third act. Like just get this fucker down, man. Cause we've done all the jokes. They're kind of smarter plots than you would expect. And I feel like it's a good example of the audience will go with you for if it's actually

well thought out. Some movies that are good and funny, I don't remember the plot. You know what I mean? I just go like, what was that? I go, what was the pitch? I don't know. I just thought those guys were funny and the movie's funny. And I'm like, it's got to be something wispy.

How do you guys deal with, um, like sort of where the edge is? Like, you know, you can't make Tropic Thunder today, right? Maybe, maybe today, today. I think you can. Do you find the audiences looser recently in a way, as far as jokes that are a little outside the lanes? Is there a kind of a- I think it's sort of like, I think a lot of times it's us,

just people in the industry kind of fear what is possible by backlash. But so we kind of like pull back and then blame the audience for what we think the audience is gonna react. But I think, I think people are the same as they've always been. They just wanna laugh. If it's funny and they trust that you're being fun,

I think like you could get away with a lot. If you mean well, yeah. Yeah, if you mean well. Where it's coming from, like what is it, you know, yeah, whether the- The intent is rarely what they think it is. Like most comics are just saying, even if it sounds horrible,

you're just trying to get a surprise laugh or get something, you don't really mean anything. You're just like, this is a curve ball joke and then- Yeah. Take the blow back. Yeah. What's that? Maybe out of desperation, who knows? It could be anything. Of course, that's most of my- Always. A bit of desperation. Who knows? It could be any of course. That's always that. Yeah.

I think you do get exhausted. Um, trying to second guess yourself and you know, I don't know. I don't know the first person to say, Oh, you can't say that, you know, or we can't, well, we couldn't do that. It's so funny, you know, but I do think you get exhausted by that notion. And then you just start just saying whatever you want. You know, wait, go ahead. Made me think of that.

I'm not sure. exhausted by that notion. And then you just start just saying whatever you want. You know, wait, go ahead. Made me think of because when I went home, when I went home to Staten Island, like a little while ago, I saw that I had DVD compilation. I'm sorry, VHS compilations of SNL from the period you guys are there. And that it's so crazy that you were in it. There was a special called The Bad Boys of SNL. A V. That was spayed. The bad boys of SNL. And I feel like I was was a rock.

Spade Rock, Schneider, Sandler, Farley, Farley. I think the first like my first memory of SNL was my family, I think, I don't know if it was the 20th anniversary, something, it was like some compilation show that was on and they was showing chopping broccoli and like I could not understand what was happening at all. I was like, what?

I don't get it, it just sounded funny. And everyone was laughing so hard. I was like, it must be great because all the older people are laughing. I'm the youngest. People ask me about, they send me broccoli meat. I'm with you. Show Dana. I'm like, I'm not showing Dana fucking anything.

I get people mentioning that to me more than anything else and I have no idea why. I only did it once on this. I've never seen my family laugh harder than that. That was your first show? Yeah. That's crazy. He came out of the gate.

Church Lady too. Church Lady was the last sketch during dress because everyone thought it was gonna bomb, including me. And then it killed and moved up to the, and then that came out. Yeah, I got a freaky lucky for a show, but we only had like six cast members then, you know? Everyone got to do a lot.

Mm-hmm. Well, mm-hmm. Chopping back ahead. So for just a second, cause everyone listening to our podcast, just how did you guys, I know you've been asked this a lot, get on SNL, you know?

Your little path there. And I- This is the final time you'll be asked this. So just, we'll never ask you again. You can make it, you can make it. I did stand up. They saw me. Boom. It doesn't have to be, but you can pick that one.

We're in our offices, but we're in there. I'm in my dressing room and Che's in his office on 17. Have you guys done, have a lot of people done it from the offices here or is that a rare? I thought you were on 17th, but the dressing room looks, it's kind of like, have you had it painted? That's your dressing room? Fancy, you got a little round window or is that a prop?

What is that? What's that termite doing back there? Some kind of, some kind of. A lot of woodwork. You just run in a woodwork. The size of his dressing room is disgusting. It's crazy. You don't have a big one, do you? I have a fire.

We we share a dressing room for, I don't know, the first five years, but then COVID happened. We could see that deep, deep corner in his dress. He's not at the other end of his dressing room. You see that deep corner he had? Yeah. Yeah. Holy shit. He's in a huge. He's got a sweet look at this.

He's a sweet. You know, got a look at this. He's in a suit. The five seasons. Never seen that. Where's the Smith's trailer or something? It's all shit. You have your own bathroom. He has his own bathroom in his dressing room. No, that's it.

Yeah, it's all bathroom. It's always flooded. It's literally that you're in just the end of that. BAMP. How Joe says Will Smith's trailer on Hancock. Yeah, I was like, what are you doing in there? He had a double decker, I think, on Hancock.

That's a good one. Isn't that one? I like that movie. It's a great movie. It's very underrated. It is. Jason Baven. It's very underrated.

So where is your, we had Bowen on recently, where is your guys head space right now? You're still like, ah, the premiere is so sweet. So cares. Now, not even gonna think about it. Are you nervous? We barely thought about this live special we're doing on Thursday.

Okay, how long is the live special? Is it an hour, hour and a half? That sounds right, right? Oh, ish. Oh, it's live. Okay. And they give you a chunk of time and they say, obviously it sounds funny

and you guys can put together a squadron of, it's gonna be you guys plus guests. Surprise drop-ins, Jerry Seinfeld. Now we don't know yet. Surprise drop-ins, Chris Rock. Now we don't know yet. Oh, I'm just saying. Wishlist. I'm helping you guys.

Lower, lower. Very sober. Kidding, Barry. Maybe you've seen this next guy on TV, even though he hasn't been on TV yet, he's not that good. This up and coming, is making some noise at the Comedy Cellar. It's his first time on television.

You're gonna break some people for their debut? Yeah, hopefully. Oh, that's interesting. Okay. I would love when you go to the Comedy Cellar and they clearly didn't know who you were and they'd just be like, half hour Comedy Central, you've seen them around.

You're like, wait, you did a half hour. Premium Blend. They just make that up. But I feel like someone still says it, like half hour comedy, I don't think they've done it. Yeah, VH1 stand up spotlight. No one's ever seen it. He's-

He does young comics. Evening at the- Clubs and colleges all over the country. Yeah. Clubs and colleges. It's open for Heidi Gartner at the Wilshire Comedy Playhouse. Dana would be bad at this.

When you go, I was at the comedy show the other night, they're like, hey, right before I walk out, I always think there's like an MC and they go, oh no, by the way, and I'm walking up, they go, you bring up Bill Squankmeyer. And I'm like, who, what? And then I go up and I'm like, all the whole time, I'm stressing going, what was his name?

And I have no credit. So I'm like, this guy, what are you going to say about this fucking guy? Always killing right and left. He's the talk of the town. I'm not even gonna say his name, you're gonna freak out, here he comes. He'll tell you.

That happens to me during like warmup, like I gotta do warmup for the show. And sometimes I don't know the music guests or I don't know, I don't really the music. Yes. Or I don't know. I don't really remember what their names are. I'm like, what the fuck is the name of that band? Something I've never heard of and I probably will never hear of again. Hot House Flowers.

We would go through the bands and we'd guess ahead of time who's going to stick around. I'm like, Nirvana, no. Pearl Jam, no. Eagle Eye Cherry yes that was when I hosted that Eagle Eye Cherry. It took me so long to realize that Eagle Eye Cherry was just a person yeah like a because I never kind of I just thought it was a band. Oh Colin you gotta have a cool name, man. Eagle Eye Chair is a cool name. Wasn't quite enough.

And it's a birth name, right? Is he an American Indian? I don't know. I don't remember enough. During the band, I go, here comes the Eagle Eye Chair. And then I run off and they rip my Velcro suit off. Hey, we should say this is on Peacock. Yeah.

Oh, we should. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Peacock is on Peacock. Yeah. Oh, we should. Yeah. Yeah. Peacock and... Peacock. We only have a few more questions. It's a great name for a streaming platform. The gentlemen from Peacock are on ready. Why don't we just call it Big Cock? And then you go,

Lauren, where will we do this fun special? And he goes, Peacock? Do we have a deal with Peacock? I have to say I love it because I can't stay up that late, but I love watching SNL at 8.30 in the. Oh my God. Yeah, that's right. I mean, that's all. Oh yeah. It's been what, like the last four or five years?

That's for the oldies, that's us. It hurts what we're allowed to get away with too, because a lot of times we'll have like dirty stuff and they'll be like, well, we can't do it because we're on an A30. You're like, ah. Oh really? That is a change.

Eight o'clock, we're like, we didn't choose that. Yeah, our standards is like way worse now. Even a live streaming platform has standards that not- No, no, not for people- No, no, for SNL. For SNL, because then- SNL, because it's at A30. Yeah, it goes by the standards that are on the West Coast. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Okay, I'm just doing it. I'm getting on Peacock. I didn't know it was actually on channel four. David thinks his laptop's a time machine.

I'm always on live streaming, I gotta say. What application do I push? I don't like all these channels. We didn't have a channel. We didn't have a TV. We didn't even have a life. Dude, try watching football. I have 85 different pay services. From Field Man 2024, I'm gonna do that. You're gonna do a lot. Dana's gonna drop by this year and just run around and do like the hat trick.

He's gonna run a new update. He's gonna go to a monologue. He's gonna be with the music guest. Music guest. That's exciting. Are you guys excited about 50th? 50th's gonna be fun. Yeah. Just to watch. I'm slightly anxious for the show because the 40th was so fly by See Your Pants and it actually worked out.

That I feel like the fear is like it's going to be You know, if it was a band part will be good. Well, and then how big it is, right? Like gigantic concert at Radio City Music Hall on Thursday when we'd all want to be writing and doing stuff. No, when is the concert? I thought it was Sunday. You know, on Thursday and then the show's Saturday.

Oh, it's Thursday? I don't know what time it is. It might be Thursday or Friday. And then I think the show is Sunday, which I kind of think it's actually Sunday. Sunday, how much have you written of that, Colin? Oh yeah, I think just like 30 sketches so far for that. I remember I saw Higgins when I was at the 40th, and I go, I like the people,

I know some SNL people that call me, and they go, who would I call about what sketch I wanna pitch them for the 50th? I go, it won't be on, don't worry. They don't have to call. I said, it won't be on, don't worry. You don't have to call them. I said, I don't think they're going to accommodate every 700 cast members and say, well, what do you want to do?

I think you get the biggies and then you... I want to do Wayne's World and we finally acknowledge our age. They take the wigs off and it's gray wig. Hey Wayne, we don't look the same like we did before. I'm 80. I'm just all in dreams. It's got pubes.

They're gray. Look, Wayne. Cutting at the 40th cutting to Lovitz during the in memoriam. Yeah. You know what he said the other day? He goes, he goes, they want to do that joke again. I said, once is enough. I go, I would do it, dude. I said it might and will be the only air time.

Just take it. And it gets a fucking laugh again. He left it. Every time they cut to him, it was a laugh. I'm alive. Hello. Jealous? Yeah.

All right. We got to let these guys go. Go ask them something. One more question then. Yeah. I feel like we've answered a few of your questions, but. Not really. You guys are, I don't know.

I mean, I kind of, when I'm on these shows. I always feel like artistic people have a thing in their head that they don't, they're imposter syndrome or they're not that good. And I just want to say you guys are incredible on update. And really, really great. And I don't know, I maybe I'm corny, maybe I'm Mike Douglas, maybe I'm Irv Griffin, but I do like telling people that when I'm and it's always sincere, but do you guys have, you know, when you come on to us and I'll spend 50 years

and there's there was Norm MacDonald, brilliant. There was, you know, Tina and you know, and so there is this giant cannon of brilliant people and you guys are right up there now. So, I mean, I put you in there and worth anybody. Oh man. Even if you're So, I mean, I put you in there and worth anybody. Oh man. I mean, come on. Even if you're lying, I'm still gonna take you.

I'm not saying the first year I thought that, but I'm saying as you guys have progressed. You wouldn't have made it this long if you weren't good. And, you know- Avenue's progressed. Now you're ready. We saw some when we were there and we saw some before we were there.

So, I mean, everyone has their opinions, but 10 years is a great run and they would, they wouldn't be doing if it wasn't killing. I'm just, when you guys come on, I'm happy. I mean, I'm intensely relaxed, you know, because I just feel like this is going to be good. That means the world from you guys. It's, it's, it's, it's why we're doing it now. Why we even thought of it, a thing to do. So I really appreciate it. We don't mean to embarrass you, but I was-

No, I don't say that to every guest, right, David? I don't say that to everybody. You do not. We haven't had an update team on in a while, but you have not seen it. I just want to- I just was a casual observer, and then I'm like, damn, these guys are getting fucking good.

You know, it's like really good. Listen, we're mad about it too. Now, if you guys- Yeah, we're actually mad about it too. Now if you guys, yeah we're actually kind of angry too. What about Collins foot is it okay? Because I yes it's fine. Coral mites? Yeah I've had them. A bunch of antibiotics and then it's I mean there's probably a bunch of scars but it's totally fine in terms of I have

toes and stuff. Did you walk on coral? Is that what it was when you go in the water? I surfed and hit coral and then I went barefoot for the next five days in dirt and sand, which was a bad combo. It was funny that the Olympics were that far away from the other Olympics. We now go to Tahiti. It was stunning. But did you? You actually needed to know the time zone difference and when it was, can I ask

you a surfer question for the final final with the two dudes out there on the surfboards talking and there's just no waves. I mean, there was a wave and then it's like 15 minutes at the Olympic final where we're going to crown a champion. They're on their boards in the water chatting for paddleboard. There were a couple of people I thought who really got screwed. I thought John John Florence kind of got screwed. Jack Robinson beat him.

It was great and obviously very deserving that he moved on. But John John was waiting because the waves were so good. And then they just died for 10 minutes. And he never got a chance at another wave, which sucked. And also, Medina a little bit, Gabriel Medina, he got one great wave and he never got a chance at another wave, which sucked. And also Medina a little bit, Gabrielle Medina, he got one great wave and then never had a chance at it. So I feel like those guys both kind of got screwed. That's right.

I noticed that he got one great wave and then that's all. You just want it to be monster waves, but it just doesn't always happen that way. But it was crazy to see be out there on a boat and watch it one day. It went in the morning from being like four to six feet high to 18 feet within, you know, six hours. It was nuts. What's the biggest wave you've ever surfed? Cause Staten Island doesn't have a big surf scene.

Big scene. It has a great, if you're looking for hypodermic needles in the surf, it's got a great, great, um, I would, I would go to, I would, I go to Montauk around here if I go, I mean, I've been in probably 10th, I've surfed like a 10 foot wave is probably the most I've ever done. I'm not looking for that. Are you, are you ripped? I mean, are you, most surfers I find are just ripped because they're just constantly out there paddling.

I'm not. I don't. I mean, I'm used to do it. But Michael's nodding that you're a real update is he's definitely well, you're up. He's in that chair. He's got his abs on the whole time. You know, I said I wanted to falls those Swiss. You're like this. Welcome to eat. We know you're relaxed if you do that on one of those Swiss exercise. We'll know you guys are OK. How much longer can we have you guys on update?

You're just you got outside projects. You're doing game shows. You're doing stand up specials you're doing. So now there's no reason to leave, right? You can just kind of come and go. There's no reason to stay either. I don't know. I would say if you could just...

You're going to retire? I don't know. I'm trying to do filler. I just wouldn't leave. Okay, you're gonna... I just wouldn't leave. All right, let's give a last plug to this gig. Last plug. Peacock Peacock September 12th, Thursday, Colin Jost,

which I think is a present New York after dark while it's twilight. Nine p.m. Eastern on Peacock and on NBC or just Peacock. Oh, we think it's just Peacock. We think it's just because you guys are going to be saying, what the fuck? And this next fucking guy, right? Yeah. This motherfucker is motherfucker. Some people think he's good. I don't fucking know. Didn't you get bad intros in the day? I mean, I should get the worst intro.

Some guys, some guys think this guy's funny. I don't know, maybe he is. I don't get it. Yeah. What about a college where you go and they're like, we're gonna introduce you and then they read a whole bio? I do that.

I always go, that's a corporate gig. I go, hey, thanks Jim for reading my Wikipedia page. I always start with the name too. We're like, yeah, please welcome Michael chain. Who was on Saturday night. Oh, wait, what people should know you guys out there doing standup all over the place. Michael's got it.

You did your special a couple of years ago or you probably do for another one. Yeah, fill it up. I'm trying. I'm trying to figure it out now. It's just like when the SNL season starts, it's hard to get consistent stage time to where you get really sharp.

So every time I get a little better, I feel like I get a little worse. So it's like, I don't know when I'd be able to do it. Maybe winter break. And Colin, you were playing Vegas with people recently? Yeah, I had to switch up a lot of the summer because of some family stuff and planning and stuff. And so I had to move a lot of dates together,

but I did a run all over the West Coast. I mean, I love doing it. I wish I had a little more time to do it. And for a corporate date, what is your price? Yeah. What do you mean? And if you can write your own intro, And for a corporate date, what is your price? Yeah. And if you can write your own intro, will you take some money off?

OK, guys, thank you very much. It's been a pleasure, you guys have a nice show. I'll be watching. You guys are great. We'll see you on the big guys. Thank you guys so much. Very nice to talk to you. I enjoyed it. This is so much pleasure. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all the stuff, smash that button,

whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts. Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.