Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Ellen Cleghorne

Episode Date: July 27, 2022

Teaching the theory of comedy, Denzel's soft hands, and threatening Michael Jordan with Ellen Cleghorne. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whether you're doing a dance to your favorite artist in the office parking lot, or being guided into Warrior I in the break room before your shift, whether you're running on your Peloton tread at your mom's house while she watches the baby, or counting your breaths on the subway. Peloton is for all of us, wherever we are whenever we need it download the free peloton app today peloton app available through free tier or paid subscription starting at twelve ninety nine per month so david i i hosted uh... jimmy kimmel james kimmel and james that were eight him up was also a state senator from

louisiana you did two nights great stuff uh... thank you You had Quentin Tarantino, my mother's. That was a thrill. I'd so loved being able to specifically compliment someone who I really admire his work tremendously. And to see him laugh when I was quoting lines from once upon a time in Hollywood, which I've seen 11 times. That's fine. Over a period of time, don't think I'm weird. He just laughed so hard.

He's great. You know, he did, um, we should have mom because he did, that's the way we should have mom say it again. We should have mom. That's a good plan. Oh yeah, Brad Pitt. We should have mom,

Quintin because he did, oh, he wasn't there, but we did John Fulton. We did Quintin Terrentino's welcome back, Carter. That was a great stretch. I would love to have been there when he was there,

but he, uh, he was such, he was such a kick and so much fun. And I love making him laugh. And the next night you had spade and we had a blast. You came out dis-manaled with your, what was the driver who was eating the limo driver? Cheetos. Cheetos chunk was hysterical. And then some about mosquitoes. I'll try to find that chunk. And I'll put it up on Instagram or something.

Mosquitoes, we did talk about the Burger King guy getting gifts at his 27 years of Burger King. Yeah. And then I was gonna tell you that when I left SNL after six years, Lauren gave me a gift bag. He gave me a... Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, why didn't get one? Yeah, he gave me a... David, please. me a gift back. Oh really? Yeah. I'll want to get one. Yeah, he gave me David

please. Peanut M&Ms. Okay. A ticket to Katz. Actually, it was just a cat. It was just cat. It was one ticket. And it was a different play. It was not great. It wasn't even Katz. It was like a little practical. Oh, okay, okay. One ticket. Because they gave the Burger King guy one ticket to a movie. Oh, okay, I think it's one ticket. Cause they gave the Burger King guy one ticket to a movie. It's got one ticket to write. So yeah, longing for that and it's like, anyway, it was great. I did appreciative.

I did Trump and Biden, which might be a brave, stupid or fun, whatever you just wanna think in our current cultural climate, but my aim was to entertain and inside baseball, I did not make my glasses and I squint as Biden and the prompter was way back. And I'm like, man, I'm fucked up. We're taping, I could barely see it.

It was live. Yeah, man, I'd open my eyes and like that. But you know what, a goofy wig, I did, look, I did the best I could. I want to tell you that Cheeto Bitt was some wonderful but anyway, some test. Yes, fantastic, fantastic. And's fantastic, you're fantastic. And Biden, you know the thing is,

I did the whisper, we're gonna do it live on the wall. Because we know how to do fly on the wall. So that was fun. And staff was incredible on the writers and producers, great people there at Mr. Kimmel's show. And now here's our regular, and show to Alan that it's still not Alan yet.

Alan Clegghorn, Dana. Alan Clegghorn was on with me in with you. Yes, and she was a powerhouse from the beginning. She had just a great presence. She had her bandmates at the time, Melanie Hutsle and Beth K. Oh, others. And oh, they all sort of came into the end. Shafan.

Shafan Fowl. Yes. Great. And Ellen was part of that team and she has a lot of firsts in her career. As a person, she's charming, funny. She's smart. She's a teacher right now. Ellen Kleghorn has a PhD in theater arts from Tissue University. So I don't

think my friend has a PhD pussy hound disease. Hey, we can pair that with jack off in the box. We got to keep the younger viewers here. There's darkness to his flies after dark blowing. No, Ellen is smart and good in sketch. She is a Rada. She had a daughter on the show who is five and now she's a, we can't say, it'll be on. So, we'll find out. Her daughter would come around super cute.

We put her in a lot of sketches. And Ellen is just a powerhouse. Just a big, big personality. Here she is, guys. Here she is, the adorable Ellen North Claycarn. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Oh my gosh, Dana! Look who forgot! Look at that mask! I'm naked!

I'm not a true friend. Ellen is, where are you? What I know is I that's Ellen's shopping. She goes do I need a volume or audio on this sub podcast? As long as we can see you we can see you well. I'm gonna sign language. Let's just air this. I can't the video too. We can hear you on your frozen and we can't hear you. It's funny, we hear choppy stuff like. My two sons are in the hip hop and rap. Heavily compared to me being from the 60s. So they've introduced me to it.

And we play a rap with beats and do rhymes and catch phrases. Dana, do you want to hear? I'm going to sing a rap song ready. My name's Lamont and I was born in January. I'm a Capricorn. God, Ellen will know this one if she unfreezes. I got one, I wore it one, cause you got a problem with this, and it's just a big beat.

You got a problem with this, and it just repeats. You got a problem with this. That would work. In a dance climb on my life. It's really what I meant. When I hear it in the gym, and it's big beats, and repetitive phrasing, it feels like comedy in a way, you know.

That might be from a rapper's delight. I've talked about that for a month. My name's for a Snoop Dogg was the first one that got me hooked on it. My name's for a month and I was born on a jam farm in Vermont. Snoop? Yeah, give me a word, I'll write it. Dude, I saw Snoop on the dumbest ad schnizzle. on a jam farm in Vermont. S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s bit. So don't worry. Well, when you guys get really high tech and stuff, then you have to have me back. Yeah, we are. Hi. Yes.

Well, it was 1395 to get the good setup and the cadence decided to spend 995. Any pay for what you get? You know, so do you have any questions? A question. Or should we start? Okay, Ellen, we have one, we have time for one final question for Ellen. Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question?

Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question?

Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question?

Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? Who wants to get a question? here because that place is so tough. It's hard to not be nice to everyone, but you're usually just walking along with thinking. You're like thinking of a sketch, thinking of why I'm not on, thinking of why my sketch bomb, thinking of if Farley's gonna eat my lunch. You know, there's a million things going through your head. So the answer is yes.

The answer is always yes. And it's just hard to, you know, when you tell your side of it. I mean, you're there and you're there on one of the times we had a lot of cast members and a lot of people on a mouse defeat. You were very savvy anyway. So I don't think you would have ever done anything

out onto words or whatever. You're always such a forward thinking man, when I look back. And you always introduce me to the the phrase a friend of the show. We still say that Lauren would go hello is a friend of the show and then the terrorizing for the cast member still with the show still with the show. You never got still still with the show yeah Lauren that was one of Lauren's favorites I found it funny but he's a friend of the show. Yeah, Lauren, that was one of Lauren's favorites. I found it funny, but he's a friend of the show. You know, Alan, one time when I think, I don't know what years you were there. I was there 90 to 94 something like that. Okay. So, I overlapped a lot, but

in the summers, we would call to see if we're getting picked up. And he goes, I just, I don't know if Dave was ever around. I'm like, this is just, this is the one thing my manager hears once a year review, and that's the one thing, and it's like, you gotta go Lauren, you gotta be careful what you say, because that's it for a year. He's like, are you ever gonna be there? I go, that's all I am, is here all the time.

It's just like a thing to get me off my ass. I don't know, but it really like would stress me out to hear that. You want so much more contact with him than than I did. As everybody makes me say, I never even, I didn't know what his voice sounded like. I do know this is a good impression. I don't know. I didn't tell you.

I don't know what he's doing. I guess it's Lauren. Right. I wouldn't you. What happened with Lauren when you got when you got hired, that's when you talked to Lauren and that was kind of it for the run. I didn't speak to him when I got hired. Oh, he didn't speak.

I only personally spoke to was Al Franken. Oh, really? Al Franken. Yeah, I would go to Al Franken's office. And then I went in the Turner's office. Oh, Bonnie and Terry Turner. Bonnie and Terry Turner. Oh, that was it.

Were they the headwriters by any chance, Dana? No, they were just really pivotal. They were in a lot of quadrants. They do all kinds of styles and they help me a lot. Church, yeah, they were great. Other things. So Ellen, they kind of like gave you the ropes or whatever. No, they gave me no ropes.

They just looked at me. This came to me. So I saw your tape and they just stared you and I'm like, okay, I guess they were sizing me up to see what could I do And Al Franken, all you do is ask me one time, you asked me if I could belch I was like, no, and he was through with me and I was like, wait, what? Literally, hey, I can't even belch And you, that was it?

And then he scratched out nine sketches. Because you know, I grew up in the time when you ladies don't belch. Well, I hope there's still a time. She said, don't you dare. Don't you dare belch. So I always was afraid. I admired people who could actually belch on cue. How I can. I had such a low, really admired people like that. I can. Maybe that's why a lobe. I really admire people like that.

I can, and maybe that's why I got the show. I couldn't do it. I could, could you guys do a spit take? I mean, spit take was kind of like with a belt. It's like an easy laugh. There's an art to the spit take, but I don't think I ever did one on this show. You know?

I like a spit take, and I see people do that. If it takes your price of prize, you know, you know a good split take You don't see a lot anymore because I think they ran through them But if you see them now, it's kind of funny because and it can't be a plan one. I mean, it can't be look plan Oh, that's the worst. So Ellen you got you did you were doing stand-up right at the beginning on Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it from doing stand-up because I said being the clubs all the time And I think a lot of people That I used to stand up with got higher which which ones came remember their names

Well, maybe you know him named Chris rock Wait a minute Chris me right that Where is he been I mean what happened to Chris rock Barack Obama Where has he been? I mean, what happened to Chris Rock? Barack Obama. Mm. Our president, Barack Obama.

I go, rock, you say everything twice in your act. I told him when I was teaching my kids how to do stand up for the clarity of the setup. You know, I've said, let's look at Chris Rock because he was really good at... Very articulate. It's a premise subject. It does comedy, hits it again,

and it's just like really easy on your brain, so you can enjoy it. He obviously became a master of the craft. Masterful. So, Ellen, doing clubs back then, were you doing like catch-reshing star or those kind of, those are the ones I can't do, but I didn't know like the underground ones.

I just knew like a few. I never really went on when I was there. But I saw you actually a catcherizing star. Oh good. So you did go on there, David. Well, that's the only one I knew. And I think that's one I auditioned at. And then so that's the only one I could call and say,

can I come down if it was now and then to do a set? Because I didn't really know the drill. And so you did, and you just did this bit about Scoliosis. I think I like girls, the large bag, the scoliosis I think. Yeah, that's a funny word. It is so funny. That was the first time I had that even heard of scoliosis. I was like, this is great. This comedy is educational.

Oh my God. It's more shocking that I still do the job. No. But I, you know, Ellen is funny. I was just telling Dana I taped a special and I don't do that many specials. No one's asking and beating down my door, but I did one and I was telling Dana that I did a joke that was offensive, you know, I sort of did on purpose. The second joke is I felt like, okay, I sort of got all my jokes, and before I got off stage, I did when I was telling Dana,

it was kind of funny, because then I sort of yelled at the audience, we're not liking it, just to be stupid. But here's a joke, Alan, you tell me if it's, if it's, you see why they didn't like it. So I say, I went to Las Vegas for a show or whatever, and then look at blurry setup, unlike Chris Rock. I went to Las Vegas for whatever. And in the newspaper, it said that day it was the anniversary of the Las Vegas shootings,

which we all had heard about. And it said, today is the anniversary of the October 1st shootings. And I asked the guy there, I go, isn't this the Las Vegas shootings? And he goes, yeah, they changed it. They got a brand expert because the Las Vegas shootings sounded too much like everyone's getting shot in Las Vegas. And I go, well, yeah, that's what happened. And he goes, yeah, but October 1st hits the ear better. And I go, oh, they hired the same people that did the Oklahoma City situation. Yeah.

The kerfuffle at Columbine. I didn't even get to, I didn't even get to the Sandy Hooksnafu. They had already given up on me. Oh my gosh. They gave up during the premise. And that's how I looked at this, this is called School's Alpha. You know, go ahead. Columbine was, was, was where this woman was just staring me in the front row and I go,

too much and she goes, yeah, and I go, yeah, I go, you know, what Netflix likes is when you try stuff on your special, you don't tell them, and it could be some legal problems and you do it anyway. And so, uh, they like that. They like undercooked half ass shit that can offend the crowd. Anyway, I'm gonna wrap things up. And then I did like, um, David's nickname is Showstopper. So what was that? It was such a showstopper. No, you got it. No, no, I was just saying. No, no, no, no, I think that it could,

I really think that it could work because everybody's so sensitive right now. So they have to, you can't say what it was, you have to make it sound palatable. And that's what they're doing. They're making these horrible things sound like they're not fun, but they're just like, okay, you know, it's softening. So it was a bad, bad, yeah.

They're showing an old Dana Carvey commercial on the, on the gram or Twitter or wherever. So you did a commercial with, I think it was Pepsi Cola or something. Oh, oh, you're, you're shuffling cards or is it lace potato Oh, oh, you're shuffling cards or is it lace potato chips or something? Yeah, you're shuffling cards. Yeah, what? I could see no.

I can't believe that's around still. I think that was 20 years ago. I got over my, you know, allergic reaction to doing commercials. Turned out a lot of commercials, trying to be Bob Dylan or something in the 90s. But then by the knots, I'm like, wait a minute, this is crazy, so I did do it. You gotta take it away, you can, man.

Shit. I mean, I got, yeah. When I was with Ellen, those years, actually, Danny, you were there too for this, but Ellen, I got offered a commercial during SNL when I wasn't even doing that good, and I wasn't allowed to do it, and I was just so bummed that I finally would have had a little chunk of money.

It wasn't crazy. But I was like, God dang. I'm not allowed to because, you know, NBC decides. Did we ever talk about how much money do we make in on this? No, well, not today. Not today. What did you, I'll tell you what I started at, 4,500 an episode. So you keep about 2,000 a week, I guess, or for the 80,000 for the season, I think, gross.

Okay, I'll go. I started at 900 a week to write, and I got a $1,500 bump if I got on. I'll tell you how much I started at. Okay. $245 an episode. No. What? Nothing extra. Nothing extra if I got anything on and nothing for writing Wow

When I left there when I left there after almost five years I was making $4,500 an episode Nothing for writing and that's it and no bumps and nothing Yeah, and that's it didn't agent put that to get do you have an agent back then or no. Yeah, yeah. And that's it. Did an agent put that together? Do you have an agent back there or no? Yeah, I did. I mean, the sort of, it's sort of take it or leave it, I'm sure, but. Exactly.

Exactly. Boy, I didn't. I just thought there were some union thing with you. I've never, I've never said it before. No, you would think there was some union thing. No, but he's giving it. And I said, yeah, go ahead. Yeah, I would ask the union.

And that would say, well, that's union, that's union minimum wage and you only work one day a week. So what is the problem? Good Lord. Damn it. God damn it. I'm fucking pissed. What about Melanie Hutsle?

What was she getting? Like 20 grand a wedding 30 grand. Hutsle, don't go down for anybody, man. She was loaded up driving her Bentley to work. What was she getting like 20 grand? 20 grand, 30 grand. Yeah, so don't go down for anybody, man. She was loaded up driving a Bentley to work. Melannie need more money than Ellen. No, what was Melannie how so getting? Your peers at the time and were it coming?

Did you ask anyone? No, I never did. I didn't ask anyone either. How did you survive? How did you survive on that? Exactly, exactly. No, but what helped that was that I was doing stand-ups. So the weeks that were awful, whatever,

then I would go to stand up on the road. And I could make like, not that much, but at least a couple thousand dollars. It's very rare that the stand-up is more than the work check. Well, in this case, it was. I know, I'm saying that's very odd Situation because I would I got to the point where I could make someone the weekends if I went to a you know a college or something but You know the joke of it's one day a week work is we all know is a joke because it's yeah 20 hours a day on your mind even on the weekend

Yeah, there's there's like no job harder. I mean in the real real world of like show bits, I mean, there's jobs harder, but in our little world, it's just a constant stress and wow, well, that's tough to hear. I don't know. I mean, and you were doing as much as anyone. When you were getting real current characters, you know, Queen Shenefa, whatever, and you were kicking it on the show like that. I mean, obviously they started to bump you, but it just still never went to anything

that was reasonable at all. No, they didn't, but I got, wait, one week, I got one season, the whole season, I got like $200 a week. Two children changed, okay, I'm out to be like, I don't know. I just kept doing it. Like, you know, I love it. Even, even, even doing like the next one. I'm saying 400 exactly the next one's like

$400 a week the second. Per show. The third year was like yeah Per show. Then it was a per show not week or week right then the next one was like $750 a week or something and then finally it bumped up to $4,000. To like a legitimate number, like a decent number. Which isn't even crazy. It isn't even a crazy high number for I'm sure. I believe unless I got it wrong, that it was $4,500 for the whole cast. Because we didn't have a big cast. So it was Phil and Jan and I and whoever was coming in.

I believe it was everyone was getting the same as far as I remember, maybe love it and Nora Dunn had a little more because it was their second season, but you know, we all have a different situation Dana because I think Ellen is brought in as a maybe a feature player and not even a writer even though she wrote obviously. I was brought in as a writer, feature player that they wanted me to write not not really beyond, just kind of the opposite. And you, I think we're just brought in as a cast member, but they didn't give you writing credit, even though I'm sure you wrote. No, no one looking for writing. No one got a writing credit. You couldn't get one. But we all, it's not what we do here. You know, so you get used to it, but it was a little fun.

I would imagine. I didn't want a writing credit. I'd rather be a performer, but everybody's writing, I think, you know, the only one who made a joke out of it, you two could talk that was Chris Farley would always say, I can't think of anything, you know, but he was a brilliant performer, but that's what he said. But almost everyone was writing to some degree, you know, Ellen, I'm sure to stay alive. You had to write. You weren't getting thrown in the writing. No, but you guys hooked me up though, be honest.

No, we would try. Let me try to write you. And not just me, but me and my daughter, every time I check her out, she was in a sketch. I think she was five. And now she's probably like seven or something. She's an oral surgeon. What?

Really? And she's a leftist. I forgot. How amazing. So you're a doctor it and she's an oral surgeon Huh can you imagine I Can I have children? Yeah, it's that no I can't really but that's to rip So that's great Good Lord, but here's the thing here's the thing when I think of Dana. Now, I didn't know Dana from nobody.

So I grew up in the project. So I have my girlfriends and they start seeing this thing that you used to do about broccoli. Yeah, chopping broccoli. Yeah, chopping broccoli. Chop and broccoli. Yeah. Chop and broccoli.

I like it. And I'm like, what are you all seeing? We would just be dying, Labin. I said, you gotta see this guy. It's hysterical. And so we would tune into SNL and hopefully it came once a luckily the day came on and love. I mean, you used to have us all dying and laughing in Brooklyn with that shopping broccoli business and then we would just mock you, not

mock your mimic you, we would do shopping broccoli whenever we would just have a moment alone or just start acting ridiculous. We'd be out of piano or something pretend something was a piano and we would just start with shopping broccoli. That's how you came into my life. And so when I met you, I was like, oh my god, it's the shopping broccoli. That is so flattering. I honestly, I love madness and silliness and catch raises. And I love that they people sharing them. I thought it was silly and stupid, but it really, even with me, it goes through my head when I actually chop broccoli. So I like a chop, a broccoli.

So I don't know. There was a sportscaster when a guy hit a home run. He was on ESPN. He go, and he is chopping broccoli. So it's fun, but that's cool. Thank you, Alan. It just kind of frees you up to know that anything could be funny.

Not, you know, and you could just like go for it. Just go for it. That's a good way to put it. Yeah. I think it's like verbal physical comedy in a way. In other words, when someone's laying out a riff like that, then you have permission as an audience member. You know you don't have to really listen anymore.

The guy's just gonna say, Chuck Broccoli over and over again. So you can laugh as hard as you want. With Dennis Miller or something, you know, it's a very intricate kind of thing going on. So you really need to listen with that. You just have to have every word. Well, crazy out.

Chris Farley with his physical comedy, you just like, you know. Y quizás con la física, como como... por Dios electrónicos, sejmentar tu público. Entre muchas cosas más, adivina menos y vende más con Intuitimale Sim. La marca número 1 en Imelie, marketing y automatización. Empieza hoy mismo en MailSimple.com. Vas a verme a tus públicos de marcas competidoras en número globales de clientes en 2021-2022. ¿Díos, ¿me reencontro? ¿Me reencontro? No, no, no. a massive hell of a Harry?

Oh, yeah, you and the Zia. I never saw anything like that in my life. I was dazed. Oh, stunned and amazed. Nothing I did. I was in that sketch. I was right. There was like 95 people in that sketch.

I think we have full cast. Yeah, that punch ball in that little scene. And I assume our audience knows the character But I I didn't write it But I was wearing a prosthetic thing that looked like I had a massive head wound and I went to a party May have a suit and a dog got hungry. That's all you need to know Google it That was a sketch that like was everyone's laughing it read through Was it Everyone's laughing at read through her. We have no sense. I was like, what the hell is going on? It was a jazz ham.

There's nothing like dogs and children, I guess. And they put too much baby food on the prosthesis between dress and air. So in the air show, the dog, because I take a nap as massive heavy one hairy and the dog comes up and wants to eat my head. But the dog wouldn't let go. The dog went crazy.

I mean, and try to rip the prosthesis off but I held it on crazy. I mean, entry or rip the past thesis off, but I held it on barely. But that was an example of the audience. It was like an idol of Lucy moment. If I could, yeah, you were an example or not to laugh. We were all watching it, laughing. Nothing to do with me, really.

I'm just, that was, when she's at the, when she's at the, the, just thing with the chocolate, the chocolate thing. Yeah, anytime that she's doing just physical comedy, of just being with the chocolate going around and around. Doing the chocolate thing. Yeah. Anytime that she's doing just physical comedy, you can just hear the audience and ways and ways to laughter.

But anyway, so, well, I didn't ask you. I was on mute. I muted because there's a garbage truck outside. Oh, meat, meat. But I forgot I was on mute and I was asking you a bunch of questions. I'm going to go back a lot of half-hour.

Were you, was chopping broccoli in your SNL audition? Yes. Oh, so it was all the way back there. That was such a good one. Because I remember chopping broccoli one of the first things about you that I just thought, it hit my ears, it was so clever and weird and then you were going chop and back up.

Baaah. Chop, chup, chup, chup. Chup. Chup. And I was like, what is this food? Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. That's so funny. Chop and broccoli. Cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha Why is he singing about a vegetable over there? There's not, you know, I did let it be, you know, it's about letting go and this and that, but there's nothing really about a vegetable chopping it all the time,

but I guess it's with the American fans, funny, you know. It's like, I'm chopping, a du-du-du-du, a broccoli, a du-du-du-du-du, you know. He sent me up. So Alan, let's have, like, do you wanna talk about your hit characters or the ones that there were there two that really stood out as far as reoccurring? There's a page desk.

Is this a rated one? Yes, the rated. I love, I missed the rated. I missed the rated so much. She, and I guess I'm supposed to do it here. You don't have to do it. You don't have to do it. You don't have to do it.

You don't have to do it. You don't have to do it. You don't have to do it. You don't have to do it. You don't have to do it. You don't have to do it. The development was politically correct to do it here. Oh, because I really do speak Spanish. And I, it's not like I'm, I don't know. I, you know, I didn't say that. Oh, I'm not that part. I forgot about that. But that's what we can cut anything.

So go for it. But I just love that you said you missed the character. I relate to that. Sometimes I'll just do characters or voices driving around around by myself because I want to revisit the character. You know? Oh, I'm a mystery to someone. She had so many problems.

And you'd always get like the host or someone involved. Yeah, the host got involved. And I mean, when I first saw it, it was with Michael Jordan. Wow. And that was like major. And he was like, he thought that was, I was being ridiculous. But I was like, and I promised that I would sue him. And he thought that was hysterical. But the thing is that, and I said, what makes you think I won't cut you?

And because that is that, that really did happen to me. I was on the train. And this girl did ask me, what makes you think I won't cut you? That's right. It's a kind of a tough question. Is that a rhetorical question, though? But that's a classic comedian's move, is that you heard that in a real situation, and it is really funny, because it's what,

not I'm going to cut you, what makes you think I won't cut you cut you That is really funny for you to take that and for you said it was kind of one of her She always said that at some point or no Yeah, yeah, she did that one make you think I won't cut you that's really that's really funny And she did it with a Spanish what makes you think I won't go you is it like I think But it's not just Spanish is It's really Puerto Rican. Oh, okay. It's a minute. It's like this, you know, like it's very nasally And you like got to put it in that like that. Yeah, it's very empathetic No, yeah, I think I won't cut you No, but what am I going to say to that he just laughed?

I just know but when Michael Jordan say to that, he just laughed. He just looked at me just like, and then I said, oh, you, don't touch me. Don't hit me. I'll sue you, you know, and he was like, okay. What the fuck? Did you have to do that a read through with him? Yeah, and that was great. I did.

I don't know what a memory you and Michael Jordan, I mean, he was, yeah, that's it. That's just hitting me funny now. The idea of a host just strolling around on eight H and then this page is starting to talk to him and threatening to cut him and don't think and sue him you know it's just the wonder it just how many times you think you did that? Well maybe six or eight six times. Yeah it was on. I did it quite a few times but I think it kind of bothered, the one I really wanted to do with was John Mouthovich

when it didn't get on. Oh yeah. Yeah, the thing that, but I think it kind of bothered the people who were writers, you know? Right. Because. Like if I went to,

if I went to, if I went to Harvard to write Comedy this little scrapping Negro from the projects is over here getting shit on air You know, I would be extremely upset and I then I they weren't they used to really get they said tease me and really they weren't very nicely But that's Harvard So tease me and really they weren't very nice to me. But that's Harvard. I don't know. You're innocent.

No, it's boys, it's boys. You know, boys are very different. When you compete with boys and they don't win, oh my gosh. Yeah. So I think it was part of that. But that was in the past, you know, and you just got to let it go and move on. Yeah, we talked to Conan about that. Like he felt weird. He was that had that moniker like he's more overt and I would to community college.

So I felt weird. Like they would think I'm stupid. And you know, I think everyone felt a little different about their upbringing, getting on the show and how they got there and how they would be perceived. But you know, if you write a sketch like that and you have Michael Jordan, it gets laughs that read through. It's like, tough shit, it's getting on. What makes you think I won't cut you,

like you could go to Yale or Harvard or Dartmouth for a long time, but not come up with that and use it in that context. So yeah, I felt the same intimidation. I went to San Francisco State, it was barely a college, sorry San Francisco State, and I went to San Francisco State, it was barely a college, sorry San Francisco State, and I went to community college. And then I get the SNL, it's just a lot of Ivy League young men, you know, with dress shoes and tucked in shirts and jeans and short kind of waspy haircuts. So yeah, I got it, but yeah, but So anyway

Continue now Ellen did you go to the 40th you were at the 40th right? Yes, I was and I think I was in it was it the last one Yeah, 20 has the last big one 15. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did I did I did Blue tooth connect and I got to put my money in the payphone Blue tooth collecting I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. teaching this class here at a, actually, it's a school in Jersey City. I teach at the new school in Manhattan, but I also teach here in Jersey City. I'll just start a teaching here.

And I wouldn't have any good time, huh? But it doesn't have the money, it doesn't have the money that, it doesn't have the money in the new school has. So I have to bring all my stuff. So I have a Bluetooth speaker and what do you teach? Well, I teach acting. Oh cool. And this one I'm teaching acting here at Jersey City. And then in and I went the way Dana talks about comedy. I want Dana to come and be a guest at my class in the new school. I teach the theory of comedy and Dana really seems to

Dana has a really deep thoughts about comedy. No, no, Dana's actually really good at articulating right? It's amazing stuff, but I I am fascinated by comedy and in all in all ways and and the phrase theology and it's such a you know, it's like trying to catch the win You never solve it completely. You never master it. It's always humbling what you think will kill and will not and so forth and so on. But do you mind just for a second?

Because it's kind of, I've not met any, a run into any ex-cast member who got a doctorate, a PhD from Tish school, the arts, like what do you call that happen? I mean, when did you decide to go and how did that manifest for you? to teach school the arts, like what do you talk about how that happened? I mean, when did you decide to go and how did that manifest for you? Well, I, um, okay, so I'm going to tell you in just a second. Um, teaching at the new school and, uh, so I have comedians come in and talk to the class,

et cetera, comedians and producers, et cetera. So Mike Schumaker came in and producer. Yeah. Marsikai came in. Marsi. And in Tim Meadows came and talked to the to the nice. Right. And I use recordings from different like like I use Chris Rock and I use different people's recordings. Anyway.

and I use different people's recordings anyway. So maybe in 2007 or 2006, I was doing a radio show with Paul Mooney and I was writing for him in New York City. And he just never came. Like the show was from six in the morning to 10 in the morning. So he would show up, you know how radio is. You started six, it started six in the morning to 10 in the morning. So he would show up to, you know, how radio is. You started six, it started to six. Good morning, America, and he would show up maybe seven. So good day.

Love comedy. And then he would have been out all night and so he would sleep. Right. So I had signed a contract with them. So when they let him go, I couldn't get out of my contract otherwise I wouldn't have to pay them all that money back. And I was like, that's not going to happen.

And so I was like, hmm. So he was mad that I stayed. And I was like, no, I can't, I got, hmm, it's not going to work. I'm sorry, we'll just have to be angry at one another. So I say, well, Ellen, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Because this is going to keep coming up, whatever. And I said, well, what would you really do if you could do anything? Because I had this chunk of money. I said, well, I would like to get a master's degree from someplace.

So I applied to NYU. I said, something you've always wanted to do. And I said, OK. And plus I was also, if I can be really honest with you. I was tired of hearing people say you know I have a master's degree. You know when I when I got my master's degree and I was like so sick of hearing people say that. I had an undergrad degree but you know I guess that wasn't enough so I said okay I'll go back and do it so I wouldn't got it. I got into the school I applied to Tish and I got into the school, I applied to Tish,

and I got in, and so then I took, so then while I was there, this girl said to me, she said, whatever you do, don't stay, stick around for the PhD. And I was like, what? Why not? Why not? Because they're gonna ask you to write something.

You know, these white people always want to still your writing. And I was like, really? David and I have that problem too. Yeah, that's a good idea. I wanna read it so I can take it. Okay, well, that's really practical advice.

So then I said, I said, yes, I said, there's a matter of fact. So because she told me not to, I said, okay, I'm gonna apply. So all I could say is no. So I apply and comes to find out she had applied as well. So she was trying to thin the her. Oh, oh. So then there wouldn't be any competition.

You get it? Oh, no, I totally get it. It says sabotage. Settle big to be a friend. Yeah. She's taking you out of the competition. Good. Settle time.

Right, exactly, exactly. So then I got in and I said, okay, well, let's see what happens. And they kept saying, what are you doing here? What does one do here? So is that constant back and forth? So they weren't, you know, it's very competitive business. It's more cut throat than show business. No. And really? And people are not as, yeah, oh my gosh, yeah. Just competing with who's more smarter? Or why are they only give one at the end? Yeah. It doesn't everybody get it? No, they give, they give out, okay, so 100 people will apply, and there's six slots. Oh, there you go. Wow. And you go, that's great. And the thing is, the thing is they pay you.

Oh. So it's like a salary position to be a PhD candidate. Oh, got it, okay. That means it's not a lot of money. It's not a lot of money. It's so wide. And he's stretching the imagination. Is it over 245?

Exactly. It's about, it's about even, it's about the same. The SNL people call them, like she's really good at 245. It sort of takes 245. It's a good number for Alan. She does very well Look I think 2.45 would be across the boy rest of her life, right? She really shouldn't go for a PhD because my nephew wants to get Would she be Burner Burner Burner Burner Burner, sorry. Go ahead I can't burn your murder, sorry. Go ahead.

So what? What? What? What? So I love your laugh. I can't see. Yeah, she's got a good laugh. So.

Hey, Harric, you really know, but when I hear Dana, Dana really hurts my stomach, but he's, I don't know, what that is. It's too silly and funny. It's too silly and funny. Well, thank you for the, for your social. I'm so sorry. two silly and funny. Well, thank you for the money.

We're in the social media. Ellen, what was your doctoral thesis on? It was on African-American humor in social context. What is there to say about that? From the civil rights era to the Barack Obama. So was it 9,000 pages? It was about 400 pages. It was 300 to 400 pages.

I kind of feel like, and I don't know if it's fair enough, but it feels like there's like a heavyweight crown for who's the best standup in the world in any given time. And I think you could say like Carlin to prior to Steve Martin to Robin Williams. And then I'm not really sure where you went from there. But I know at one point Chris Rock was the champion. And that Chris Rock. Chris Rock stands at that time. Yeah. It's his stand up. And I mean, I say it's because I've been studying it. I'm not saying

that because I know him or whatever. But his I play it for the kids, they get it. It hits hard all the time. And so that really works. You know, he went on the other night. I was at the comedy store. He came in and went on. It's still, he's working on new stuff, and it's just as good.

You just sit there and go, wow, he put that together nicely. Like, he still knows what he's doing. He's still sharp. It's just exactly what you would think. Which even Kevin Hart went on. I'd never seen Kevin Hart go on and he did a great job.

They everyone did a set, you know, it was kind of fun. Does Alan going back to Dr. Clegghorn for a second? I always thought that he was really great at the elephant in the room or summing up a social trend with a phrase and then working that idea for a long, long time. You seem to be very, very good about. I remember during the Clarence Thomas hearings with Anita Hill and all that stuff and then he didn't think about no woman ever accuses Denzel Washington of harassment. Or something like that. But he did it in the Chris Rock way. And it was just a funny observation.

You don't have any. You'll never find a whoops head. That Denzel won't leave me alone. You know, someone do something. I had the opportunity to meet Dins out. And I went to see him on Broadway when he was doing a Jewish season. And so our backstage and I reached out to shake his hand

and I'm gonna tell you something. Like, but his hands were so soft. Ha, ha, ha. You felt what it was. My hands were so soft. I was like, what a soft and, I lost my hand. Were they moist and soft?

Like Bill Clinton or just soft? No, no, not moist and soft. No, they were not moist. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. you know, in a way of just meeting someone who, you know, is just really charismatic, sex symbol. I mean, he is. I mean, he stands there watching it, right?

So did you get you a little weak need in a way? Well, I mean, no, my knees didn't like it. We could actually just lost my voice. And all I could focus on was his hands. They were so fucking soft. I said, what is this? Maybe you're not a real person or something. No, I couldn't say no.

I was like, I can can speak I lost my voice I'll do you I'll DM him on Instagram. I'll get to the bottom of this I did write a poem, but I did write him a poem and I don't remember I have to find it, but I did write a poem and I was doing the radio show in New York at the time And I read it to him over the air and I don't Okay, what what was it about? I mean Denzel I What what would be the subject about a poem about Denzel?

Just it's about his hands Dana. He was she how she got into it. How soft hands for a strong man. He was doing Julius Caesar on Broadway. At Two Brutei. At Two Brutei. Yeah, Iksnay on the... He was in the first place. He was in the first place. Dennis Miller was playing Prospero in the campus at the Harold.

You can't even know what those words are. I'm trying to get my, you know, Mickey Roney going way back from 1930s to actor. I remember they told Mickey, you can't change your lines. The camera doesn't know where you are. You know, he goes, the only writers whose lines you can't change are Bill Shakespeare. I just love how Bill Shakespeare is. I like Mickey Rooney. Mickey Rooney, I liked him when he was in some movie with Judy Garland.

But I like when I used to love those kind of movies in the afternoon on the TV, because that's all they would show. And around Christopher's time, he was always playing a rich guy and he was two feet tall. And I guess he played a child for a long time. Yeah, and then he was a man child. They always were, it was like Judy Garland and that they were like playing like sophomores in high school at one point they go, I know we could put on a show. And then they would all start singing and dancing and they would sing like the wind

of dance and Mickey could do it all. Believe me. So Ellen, who were you? I got a bar. Oh, I got a bar. And we get through all this thing together by 6 p.m. Yeah. Yeah, you'll get the stage.

Somebody get the cows out. Well, Uncle Willie's electrical stores, we could get a microphone. And you'll put all the cows to sleep. Oh, my God. You're out of hand. You don't have to kill them. Just walk them out back.

Oh, also, some moccasins. Yeah, those were those were those great, you don't have to kill them, just walk them out back. Also, some mocka, mocka sense. Yeah, those were those were those great, you know, they made like ten of those. At least we have a costume wear on the ranch. We do. Betty! Betty, can you make a hundred costumes by the night? Of course. Got the train train coming in the downtown town got a

Got the train coming in gonna laugh laugh laugh in the town Sorry train coming in in the downtown town. It's a huge hit. Oh, yeah, let's ask You're about the 40 we got cut off. Did you like going to the 40th? Did you have fun there? And what sketch were you in? I did a sketch with Jerry Seinfeld. Whoa. And I was up in the audience on the side with all the kids that I guess are not the celebrities. Okay. That's the best.

He got in the building though. That's good. Victoria Jimson was on the sixth floor. You're doing it. I can't even see. I don't even know where I am. Go ahead. They let Beth Kaye, he'll drive by and beep. But they told me, they told me, absolutely no plus ones.

They said, no, there's an absolute, because you're going to be in the audience and whatever, whatever. And I apologize to them. I want my daughter with me. I did. I didn't let you. Yeah, I did. Yeah, let me bring her in. She didn't sit in the audience with me, but they let her bring in the building. Maybe she was in the spillover room. Yeah, she was. I think she was. So what happened? You asked a question to sign fell or something? Was there a Q&A?

Yeah, I asked Jerry, a sign fell question. How come there's no black women on his show? Oh my god. Yeah. What was his answer? He said, I'm sorry, I didn't save the world or something like that. Then I had to follow a question, I don't remember what it was. But the thing that I like, the trivia part about that was that Mulaney wrote that sketch. John Mulaney.

Oh. So I felt real special. I feel connected to pop culture. Do you feel like you might be the godmother to his baby in a way? I hope at least the baby could call me Auntie. The sad thing is that I follow all that crap on the Instagram. Me too. And the sad.

I do too. There's real hard to repeat. Davidson is the actual father. I don't believe any of this nonsense. I don't buy any of this tabloid stuff. Wasn't that baby looks just like Malaney. He was putting it in a crock pot or something a day later. Do you see that picture?

I'm like, what's happening? He's like putting in a product of work at Baby now. The baby's doing baby bits. But he said he's paying the baby $245 a week for all the Instagrams. The baby is too perfect. It's perfect for a baby that get gerber food, more diapers, maybe a little teddy.

It's a perfect feed for all humans. I like the tone of this show, this is very good. Ellen, did you know that Jerry Seinfeld has a new comedy album coming out called Paper Clips? Why? It's such an idiot. You almost had me, you almost had me. By the way, it should be that funny. I Such an idiot Should be that why because he would do 20 minutes on a paper clip what the step on the stapler came out the paper clips like oh no

What's that? I'm sure I feel good. I'm sorry. Go ahead Then he comes back About pop charts, I forgot to talk to him about pop charts. He has a pop chart movie. Jerry, you know what? He does not. He does. This goes full circle. This goes full circle to our doctor.

So Jerry Seinfeld over a period of years and he was in the New York Times. He was trying to complete a bit about pop tarts and he couldn't get it to work and he spent years on it because you know Jerry is cracking the code. Pop tarts because he'd say all this stuff we saw pop tarts were 10 years old. Our heads exploded whatever, but when I meet when I run into Jerry, I want to tell him Jerry, there was one fatal flaw from my point of view. We had two day old baked goods, five kids, that was a high school teacher. No one really liked pop tarts that much compared

to hostess, Barry Pies or Twinkies or snowballs or regular cupcakes, comment, professor. Wow. Let me tell you, it also hosted Barry Pies with a jam. You told me the cherry apple pie, like whatever, that was the way to play with the cross and cherry. They were magic.

They were magic. I was around real. And the pop-tarts were okay, but they were a little sweet and narrow. You put them in the toaster. They were fine, but they weren't, Jerry's bit treated them like they were the greatest. Dana, do you wanna hear some bullshit?

Now that you brought it up and I would never brought this up, I would break off the crust on the edges before I got to the frosting, and I said, fuck it. I just wanted the parts that had frosting on them. Because pop charts were not all the way up. Pop charts are doing this. I know, and I was gonna save this. I'm checking Daily Mail right now.

Is this already going viral? And the new cavers and you're both trending. Wow. I should say, because the crust destroys pop tart. I don't even know what carbs were. I just knew that I didn't really like that edge until I got to the frosting, so just break it off. I was a fucking rebel.

Yeah, I'm with, but was it cherry or apple? What was your favorite? I like the, I'm the pies. The pies. And the pies in 7.1. I liked oh Cherry Apple that's a tough one. I would blackout quickly after because all the sugar, but I also like Ding Dong's ding dong sounds like a comedy punchline. I like Twinkies. Yeah ding dong's is a Ding dong, you know what I mean? It just sounds funny. I don't know. I thought you really asking me because something did happen to my ding dong recently

sounds funny. I don't know. Oh, I thought you really asking me because something did happen to my ding-dong recently. Ding-ding-dong. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh cutting inappropriate material. What else did we not ask her, Dana? We asked her. Why is she so awesome was my first question? Yeah, why is she so smart? But can I, can I, can I talk to you about this, David Spade? Yeah. Now, did you know, does everybody know that you used to ride the skateboard and you were riding the skateboard in that movie? No, police academy. Yes.

Before SNL, so I'm like, oh, he really had it going on. I was knew all about the red carpet and the dead of that before. No, you know, Ellen, the true story is that I was, I got out to LA and I had from Arizona and I did skateboard. And the only reason I got that audition, I couldn't really act, but this is just the luck of the draw.

They saw me at the improv. I didn't look like everyone else. They said, long gone hair and I was 20 and they said, oh, you know what, we need a kid to play a skateboarder, but we didn't think of it, but this kid could probably pull off, you know, high school. So I go in and they go, did you get the script? I go, no.

And they said, shoot, we have one here. And they didn't have one. And they go, shit. Oh, we don't even waste your time. It's just about a skateboarder. Maybe you could just improv a few lines. And this is so lucky, Ellen, because I didn't know how to read a script. I didn't know how to hold sides.

I didn't know, I would have shown how green I was and how new. So I just said, yeah, oh, I'm a skateboarding. You got an attitude and the cops are coming up. I'm like, hey guys, I just start making up shit you know, and saying skateboard terms. And they were like, oh, that's exactly what we need. Okay, great, you know what, let's get this guy.

And if they would have let me act, it would not have worked because they would have seen. So just improving in bullshit was what I was better at than actually reading a script. And so I got out there, I got 25 grand, which is great. 10 weeks. 25 grand. It would take it. 25 hundred. You take Alan. Three years to get that much. Based on her 200 years. I can't do the math. I know. She can't even comprehend these. She goes, you mean $25? I go, nope, 25. So I just,

it's your first 2500. And for riding a skateboard, what the fuck? Data. And I get to ride with Tony Hawk and all these guys, Mike McGill. So I do, I go 10 weeks in Toronto and I get a per diem. This is why people get hooked on acting. So I do it. I come back with Ellen.

I clear 10 from all, you know, all the bullshit. I woke up like Canadian tax and then, you know, whatever early. So I pay everything, I give my mom three for bills. I do one in bills by needed a car. Six thousand left after 10 weeks, I go up and I buy a Honda Accord, I drive it to the Improvina, got stolen that night., I was back to zero, no insurance, and I just did 10 weeks on the road, and I came back, I have nothing to show for. And the next night Jay Leno showed up at the Improvant, a Honda Accord, I never understood

that. Yeah, you know, I used to drive the moment cycle, but you know, it was the kind of scheme of cars. You know, it's got three cylinders's whatever the fine, you know. No, that's a bummer. The improv, not the comedy store, the improv. No, the improv was sketchy. Yeah, it was over on Kea.

This is the street right next to the improv. I came out to show Tim Rose, this comic. I go check out this sweet Pim Sled. I just bought very sensible Pim Sled. And it was gone. I go, maybe it's this other street. I go, and this sweet pimp sled. I just bought very sensible pimp sled. And it was gone. I go, maybe it's this other street. I go, and he started going, oh, I go, there's no fucking way, no way.

I think they followed me with a key to the car, honestly, the people soldered to me and just took her. That's an empty feeling. Anyway, I was just saying that to say, that is a great story. It sounded great. And then I started auditioning and I wasn't any good. So I was just like bombing and then I had two years of just scraping and then I got,

you know, then I started to pick up a little more. But by the time I got to SNL, I'd already been like humbled. I'm like, shit, this is, this has got to work because I got like nothing clicking. No other movies in that gap of like four years. And then you hit big with all those movies with Chris. Tommy Boy. Yeah, I got lucky with that too. And that was direct result of like the show. And Bonnie and Terry wrote that first one, then Fred Wolf took over, but Bonnie and Terry worked on that first draft to Tommy Boy. And then we did Black sheep.

And then I wish, I was really jealous of those Chris Farley shows, because he got to have a big host like Placartini, he got to talk to him and go, remember when you were in the Beatles. Yeah, that's it. Chris has so much. He was just very memorable.

Does Danny write that one based on, like, just how he was, the obvious. It sounded so like Chris, you know. So real. Yeah, and it was just a steracle I don't know Dana anything else. What do you got anything you want to tell her? Just just just want to hang out with you A lot of times that happens on this show because we're getting to see people that we worked with and adore and had fun with and then we don't see them all these years. So this is really fun. It's a good hangout. But I want you to come, I want both of you to come to

my class at the new school and like zoom in and teach the kids, talk to the kids, they would love it. Kids, what you don't understand is the highest peak of money is 245. And this is your highest goal. I'm going to have a pipe and an ass-god and be in front of a fireplace. What you have to understand about comedy is that it's not really comedy. It's tragedy, tragedy posing as comedy. And the thing about it, I'm going to be like, oh going to come on and talk to the kids. You mean on the zoom? I can do that from where I am now in Missoula, Montana Is that where you are in my deal? No, that's where I was born, but no, I'm in Southern California But yeah, I read you do guests on zoom and they just talk to the kids about comedy

Yeah, yeah, I really enjoy you guys in person. But what I really like the most is Davis made doing Dana Carve doing something. I had chopping broccoli. Yeah, because I used to sing that around. I go, God damn, this is funny. And it was sort of out of what I think like. And I'm like, this is so weird and goofy and just clever and smart because of its goofiness. But there's some, there's method to the madness of why it's so funny. Can we get a little chorus of it as we fade out? Yeah. Chopin' Baka, he goes low.

I'm chopping, Baka. He he he he he. She chop, she chop. You get the best score of the end, she chop. Yeah, you gotta get there, you gotta work up to it. Yeah. All right, Ellen, thank you, hon. Hey, what's up, flies? What's up, please? What's up,

people that listen? We want to hear from you and your dumb questions. Questions? Ask us anything. Anything you want? You can email us at flyin'thewallatcadens13.com. Can you guys provide perspective on how it was viewed to break character on SNL? Asking because Spade stands out in my mind where he and Christina Applegate of course. We laughed on the couch during motivational speaker and in Lauren's voice for Dana, how was that viewed? Brian Steele. Um, it's so, if you're going to break, it's that other type of joke.

It's like fucking Carol Burnett. I mean, it's really not what we do. So you were not supposed to break when I got there. Yeah. And then it started to erode and then you, David Spade, were in, were in a Chris Farley's, his biggest moment on the show probably. And it was hard not to break. Talk to that sketch almost anymore. That was a, we'll probably have Christine Applegate on soon and we'll talk about it.

But it was, and I see here over the years, we've mentioned it to each other because it's turned into such a thing. But it was not planned and you're not supposed to break. And you also could get fired. Dana knows it. I know it. It was the word round town and it is not Lauren telling you that. It's other people. You know, the other people around going, oh no, Lauren does not like that. So you could get fired. And so when you do it, it's fun. But afterwards you don't want to walk by him and go, okay, Tim Conway. I didn't know the guy. I knew it wasn't the uncareful. Yeah, you know, Tim Conway. I'm not a guy, I never was an uncareful.

Yeah, you know, Tim Conway, Harvey Corman, who were brilliant, and also Tim Conway, when they were on their sort of air show, live taping would just switch stuff out, and that's how he would destroy Harvey Corman. If someone improvises outside their bandwidth on Saturday, live, that makes someone break, you know? Yeah, and they did it more in the future episodes

and it got away with it and it is fun. It's always fun to watch that stuff. It can't be used as a trick. If the sketch isn't doing well, you can't do fun. You can't be a crutch, but if it's organic, I think it is entertaining. Yeah, and thank you, Brian, for listening, and thank you for listening.

Where's Brian from? Probably Bulgaria, I don't know what to say. That's just a guess. 5. Fly in the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corqurin of Cadence 13 and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. Production and engineering led by Greg Holtzman you