Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - James Austin Johnson (LIVE SHOW)

Episode Date: May 4, 2022

Live from the Moontower Just for Laughs Comedy Festival in Austin, Texas. Recorded on April 19, 2022. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/pri...vacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Coming up next, James Austin Johnson. But first, a lot of words from our sponsor. Whether you're doing intense to your favorite artist in the office parking lot, or being guided into Warrior I in the break room before your shift, whether you're running on your Peloton tread at your mom's house while she watches the baby, or counting your breaths on the subway. We are inhaling the long exhale out. Peloton is for all of us.
Starting point is 00:00:30 Wherever we are, whenever we need it, download the free Peloton app today. Peloton app available through free tier or paid to description starting at 12.99 per month. Dana, David, we did our first live show in beautiful Austin, Texas. You know, wait a minute, can we get this straight? We actually did our podcast live for an hour.
Starting point is 00:00:51 Yeah, it was really fun. You know, when in Texas, I always stop by Jersey mics. No, this isn't an ad, but sometimes you go to Jersey mics. Jersey mics. But if I have a deity and it's too casual, they have a new one next door, the nicer version, Jersey Michaels. Like, go to Michael's? Yeah, it's like a two-star.
Starting point is 00:01:11 It's the case you want to open a niche. Jersey Mike's where you get all your good stuff. I've heard about it. I don't know. And James Austin, Johnson in Austin, and he was great. He's a present cast member on Cernant Live. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:24 And was Biden and Trump and other things. Yeah, and a lot of, and he's a present cast member on Cernia Lai. Yeah. And I was fighting and Trump and other things. And a lot of and he's a in a lot of sketches. It does a tremendous Trump. Many people terrific. I'm telling you many people are saying minute, excuse me. Excuse me. It wasn't interrupting. A lot of people. He was awesome. And we break down his impression of Trump very specifically and what he did with it.
Starting point is 00:01:50 We talk about SNL going to the after parties, live audiences. The live audiences was actually way more fun than I thought because I thought it would be kind of quiet but they were such a fucking great crowd. They got into everything. They were listening to everything. They were really into it. It's amazing. They listened to you a little bit. They listened to me a little. They were a little quiet, but it's at points. And then he was great. And we did a big Q&A at the end, a big fucking fat Q&A. No net. Yeah. No
Starting point is 00:02:18 rules. No rules. Just ad libbing. I fell asleep twice during it uh... but I had my eyes broken. No, just it was that it was an hour and a half I came in. I got up at five, I flew a long way. It was a champion of low energy. Let me tell you something you're gonna be happy. I wouldn't believe this is one of the best podcasts we've ever done. No, no, no. It wound up being the same one.
Starting point is 00:02:40 It was a great one. He was, he's just a young man. I hate when you get old and you go, this kid, you know, he's like 47. You know, he's like 32. He's just, he's in the clubs, he's going along, he did an Instagram thing, and then suddenly he's on SNL and his wife as a baby.
Starting point is 00:02:57 Yeah. I mean, what a life turn and he's killing it on the show and he's just a nice. Backstays, we got into, you know, I'm not calling it a brawl, but there was some physicality. Remember you held down James? I had to keep the two camps apart.
Starting point is 00:03:13 Dana's camp, right, and James's team. Do you have a team or a camp? I don't have anybody. I don't have a Heather. I don't have a. I don't have a Heather. I don't need to just watch out like Biden backstage. Hello. Where is this the show? I don't like Shubin. No, you're a sellerance. You're way off. Come on. Come on. I never did that. That's much to the Caribbean
Starting point is 00:03:37 what they said. You know, people, those people, the pirates. Bikes just give his feed. He's like, they were fine out of a Johnny dip in the poop. And they're like, sir, can you stay on the spot? So why? You put on the bed and the job pirates? Come on! I can do this. Anyway, James, I, he did, he's a stand-up. I watch a stand-up. I asked him about his stand-up questions. I asked him how he came over them. I read some of his jokes. He's an actor. He's a stand-up. Yeah. And he's... We had a great time. We had a great time. And James, if you're seeing this,
Starting point is 00:04:06 we love you, man. James. Sorry. It's a good time to stitch. Sorry. We made you pay for our valet. I don't bring any cash when I go on the river. We were at the four seasons. He was at the lucky eight. I was at the five seasons. Five seasons. That's more than one. It has Indian summer. Yeah. They had titos in the bar. I don't drink that flavor. Every time I was home and I go to my mom, do you have Cheetos if I come to your house? Cause I'm a little bit of a boozy, Susie.
Starting point is 00:04:32 And she goes, oh, I don't know if we have Cheetos. I know we have Cheez-its, that's close. I go, where are you getting Cheetos? Oh, from Cheetos. And then I set it again and I go, did you get any Cheetos? She goes, we don't have Cheetos. I told you, I go, mom, I'm too feet away. Why are you still getting Cheetos, oh, from Titos. And then I said it again and then I go, did you get any Titos? She goes, we don't have Cheetos, I told you. I go, mom, I'm two feet away.
Starting point is 00:04:47 Why are you still getting Cheetos from this? And you know I already said Titos. Cheetos is Cheetos. One is a flavorful, salty, orange snack. And the other is, is, who's Mexican booze. I know someone who's mom, they go for a car trip and his mom's like 85 and she always wants a case of Bud Light for the car trip.
Starting point is 00:05:07 She's like 85. She's just on Bud Light all the way up. Yeah. But anyway, Shane. Your mom's adorable. She's so adorable. She loves you. I love her.
Starting point is 00:05:17 She likes you more than me. Oh, where's Dana? He's so funny. So those texts were real that I'm getting. Yeah, I mean, really? She's buddhist mom. I wish you were my son. She just first started you up.
Starting point is 00:05:30 Oh, I was just say hello. What happened to your cell? I text like a rap record. Yo, yo, yo. But it's like Morse code. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. Yeah, I wondered, bro, bro, bro, bro. Yeah, bro.
Starting point is 00:05:44 That's kind of nice. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, bro, bro, bro, yo, bro, that's kind of, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. So because it was a live podcast, we decided to do a little standup of front. And from my side of it, I hadn't done a lot of standup because of the pandemic. Little, you've heard of it, COVID. And so I just did my Texas bits. So you'll, you'll hear three of those because those are three impressions that I did. Texans and it's a local standup trick to kind of do local stuff. They went crazy, David.
Starting point is 00:06:09 I did a little bit of a grab bag just to get them settled in, introduce us, and then we went right to the meat and potatoes. David's stand-up is really sharp right now, and you have a... I can't feel a special coming out, right? 26th, which will be either two weeks from now or three days ago depending on when this is. And everyone has a N95 mask in the office, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Do you feel like you could have waited six weeks? I'm just saying bro. I mean bro, I mean bro, I mean yo, it's like six weeks later you're gonna fresh face and spit clapping either because they had them in straight track. No, they were dressed in sweat and a fixated bronchial spasm. Ah!
Starting point is 00:06:48 Ah! Wrong it. No one could watch this special in an N95. If you got to get an N92, I know where to get it. I know how to get it. You're gonna be happy. Many people are saying it. But that'll make it'll be interesting to watch your special.
Starting point is 00:07:01 Were there audience shots? With people with the N95s? No, we had to borrow some from the Academy Awards five years ago where people are plotting. On my special we just said we'll we'll Smith's face as laughing in the audience. The the gay go before the arm again. What are you talking about? All right here is James Austin Johnson. muchas cosas más adivina menos y vende más con intuity mail sim la marca número 1 en email marketing y automatización empieza hoy mismo en mail sim.com más saben de a tus públicos de marcas competidoras en número globales de clientes en 2020 y 2022
Starting point is 00:08:02 Well, well, well. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. They're filing in. I busted out the V-neck special. It's good to see everyone. This place is beautiful. Oh my god. I haven't been in Austin since the two summers ago for the humidity festival.
Starting point is 00:08:25 Yeah! The humidity festival. I'm not going to explain them all guys. It's going to keep moving like a train. Jesus, Dana. So, I was like, oh, they played Zeppelin. You remember Zeppelin, don't you? Some people do not.
Starting point is 00:08:44 It's a tragedy. I was out with a bunch of young people and that song came on and I go, you're all Zeppin' Eggom. Zeppelin, no. I go, you don't know who that Zeppelin is and she goes, dude, I don't know who her room is, five is. All right, I'm young and you're old, is there a problem? I go, no, no, get your Adam Amami, whatever.
Starting point is 00:09:07 Now, it's nice to see people. Thank you, whoever made it down. I appreciate it. We want to have a good time. It's very nice. I know there's a lot to choose from. Actually, I saw Tim Dillon last night. He's great.
Starting point is 00:09:19 It's a lot of fun here in Austin. If you could sit the fuck down. And no, I'm so appreciative, sit up. And, because I was playing, I played parking lot shows for two years. It was very tough. Honestly, I would play a driving theater, and have 500 cars.
Starting point is 00:09:40 And it was horrible. First, I was dead silent. I didn't realize the people were inside the car. I didn't think ahead First I was dead silent. I didn't realize the people were inside the car. I didn't think ahead. It was dead silent. And then, you know, and I'm trying to have fun with it going, hey, what my camera is at, you know, I'm trying to like loosen up. And then 30 minutes later, I hear, hey, this geoprism knows what I'm talking about.
Starting point is 00:10:00 It's embarrassing. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go off. I'm going to bring Dana out and he's gonna talk to you And then we're gonna both come out so see you two minutes. Here you go. Dana call me everybody I'm closer and aged to Biden than I am any other president ever done. So I know he has tight hip flexors. Yeah, we're chillin' as little as I'm out of it. I don't know this thing, I don't know what's so bad. It's like parts to cure me in.
Starting point is 00:10:42 Come on. My name is still on top. Fuck. I said, Pirate to care me in, come on. I don't know so. My name is still on top, fuck. Awesome. That means a lot. I haven't done stand up in 17 years, so this is a little rusty for me. I owe everything to Texas, and I'll explain that. My entire career is based on Texas.
Starting point is 00:11:05 And I'm not kidding. George Bush Senior, Texas. Ross Perot, Texas. George Bush Junior, Texas. George Bush Senior, that was the innocent time of political comedy. Gotta do it, education. Talking like this, going out there. I didn't know what he thought about my impression.
Starting point is 00:11:39 There was no Twitter. He could have, you know, if it was today, be at home going, Dan and Garne doing that impression of me again, waving his arms around like a spastic monkey. Hashtag Dan. Could have been. Ross Pro, you got, do you remember him anyone over 50? He was a gift from God, he was so naturally funny. Can I finish one time, can I finish one time? There was a bit of James Brown to him, can I finish one time? Can't I finish?
Starting point is 00:12:17 Hear not listening, can I finish one time? Then we got W, the third Texan. That was a happy, frat boy. He was just fun. He would tell jokes they were funny. Two Irishmen walked out of a bar. It could happen. He was the only one who could have debated Trump, because he had that light on his feet, he kind of think,
Starting point is 00:12:54 hey, Trump, who does your hair? Stupid cuts. That joke's so good, I'm going for a little rat. So before we like the candle, I just wanted to, because people always ask me, we're having fun doing this podcast, we get to see our friends, and we get to talk to them about this seminal moment in their lives of being on this crazy intense show that just won't quit. It goes on and on. And I think one of my singular famous encounters and one of my favorite moments, it's very
Starting point is 00:13:36 quick. But when you're on Saturday Night Live, these things happen to you. I was at the party after the show. I'm with Neil Young. We're having a few glass of Neil Young, super fan. We're having a glass of wine. I'm having a beer and we're talking. And he looks up and he sees Chris Farley
Starting point is 00:13:54 and he just says like this, that fat kid's funnier in shit. Oh, dude. I will tell him when he gets out. Introduce your boy and then we'll tell stupid story. Okay, here's a kindred spirit. My brother from another mother, the brilliant impressionist and comedian who just came out of nowhere and he's with us tonight. We're going to find out when to get underneath the hood. James Austin Johnson!
Starting point is 00:14:22 Yeah! the hood and James Austin Johnson. Yeah. Oh, there he is. You all started looking that way. So I did a big loop. I was over there and I know what was going on. Hey, this is cool. Let's just have a casual conversation with all these people. I know. Let's see how it goes.
Starting point is 00:14:45 Oh, from those people. James, we heard backstage you're getting so famous you're you're going to add a name to your name. So, yeah, are you looking for four or five? You get teased about your name because I heard you're playing in Florida and you're being introduced as James Port Lauderdale Johnson. Yeah, the name, a lot of people don't know this is that the name changes based on the cities that are all quiet. Okay, you know, last week. Very completely in. You know, something, what's a hilarious city name?
Starting point is 00:15:14 You name it and that's... Winomaka? Yeah, James Winomaka Johnson. I was born James Nashville Johnson, I'm from Tennessee. Smart. What's your middle name, David? I don't know, let's go to the phones. Let's go to the phones, babe. No, it's Wayne, David Wayne.
Starting point is 00:15:33 David Wayne? No, you're real middle name. That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. Hey, it's a fly. You know, by the way, James, and you know, just forget Dan is here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk to me. But what when I flew here, this is a mildly funny story about a two out of ten. So I was on the warning. I was on Southwurst and what happened was we're on there and halfway through there like,
Starting point is 00:16:03 you know, because I go, they have any food and they're like so offended I would even ask. I go, is it steak or chicken? They're like, oh, do you remember when they had food on planes? I go, I know, it's stupid. But she goes, we have five bags of peanuts left. Half a tooth of the flight, we're gonna shoot them out with a T-shirt gun. But she goes, so look a lot of heads up.
Starting point is 00:16:22 But then, about 10 minutes before we landed She goes we have an announcement and she came in the middle of the aisle for real She was you guys we have announcement and she goes no more masks and through it and then everyone cheered and then she put on a garbage bag And I'm going yeah, and then we go oh wait. We need them in the airport But we were so excited. I thought it was a joke. I had a drunk woman next to me on the way out. She goes no more masks and no more Brrrr! Whoa! Yeah. I just made that up. That's a plan, cute bit. When's your special come out?
Starting point is 00:17:00 26. Okay, mine was in Adlet. Here's what I do. It's a 9am flight. James, we'll talk about we both have a terrible fear of flying. Well, I'm, you know, I'm working on mine and I feel like with with cognitive behavioral therapy, I've really come a long way Dana, and I really I encourage it for you as well. I think that just exposure could be a boon for both of us. It's never totally I'm better at it, but it's a 10 a.m. flight everyone's having hot coffee and I'd say, could I have a beer and they go, okay. And then later on the go, would you like another and I pretend it's their idea?
Starting point is 00:17:33 Oh, really? Oh, right. Oh, it's not like that. It's so special for you. But I only had two beers on a two-hour flight. I had one wine on my three and a half hour flight, and that's a big deal, because normally I have, you know, four or five bottles on the flight.
Starting point is 00:17:51 I don't, I have to fly sober. I mean, I can't to get completely fearless would take a quarter vodka and I can't afford that. I only drink light beer, but did you have therapy about it? I remember talking to my therapist about the flight anxiety thing. I was like, what if I get, that was like my excuse for not trying hard at comedy. He was like, what if I get successful? I have to fly all the time. I'm afraid of flying. And the truth was, I just wasn't a very good comic at the time.
Starting point is 00:18:20 No one was going to be hiring me to fly anywhere at the moment. I asked my therapist about flying. And she goes, oh, it's the worst. Oh, it's the worst. No one was going to be hiring me to fly anywhere at the mile. I asked Mike Serp, is it about flying? And she goes, oh, it's the worst. Oh, it's the worst. I hate it. That was my part. That was her answer. That was her answer.
Starting point is 00:18:31 I'm terror. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Me too. You can't help me at all. Great. All right, very good. So let's circle around to James Austin Johnson.
Starting point is 00:18:39 Let's get back to him for a minute. Yeah. I don't really know where to start. If you'd like to go through when you first started doing stand-up, we'd sure. I mean, it's kind of an interesting trajectory that you took. So in like drama classes in middle school, I memorized like eight minutes of this comic, this clean comic whose first album was called Rebel Without A Curse. So you know what you're getting. Brad Stein, this guy Brad Stein,
Starting point is 00:19:08 and I memorized stuff about airbags. It was 90s stand-up comedy, and I just memorized eight minutes of it, and then as like a 13-year-old or whatever, I would be going to these monologue competitions and empty public schools at 7 p.m. at night while a sullen volunteer listens to me do seven minutes of someone else's stand-up comedy.
Starting point is 00:19:32 Yeah, what am I? Monologue competitions at empty public schools at night. Yep. Okay. And you would, because I used to memorize Steve Martin, I get that, you'd find lock in the side. I didn't want to be a comedian, but I loved comedy like most kids.
Starting point is 00:19:49 I memorized Steve Martin, I had listened to George Carl and there was some back then. So it was really, I took pride in knowing that stuff. So I get what you're saying. Well, that's really great source material. I don't know if I can honor the source material I was craving from, wasn't one of the greats, you are necessarily.
Starting point is 00:20:08 Did you have an ear before that like when you were seven or eight or no, did you notice? So was it birds or people or what were you doing? Well, I'm the youngest in my family and I grew up in a very like sort of conservative Christian environment and all of life was sort of oriented around my very important and powerful like pastor Grandfathers like my dad's dad was a very important Pastor in our church like in the like global church of the Nazarene That's like the denomination I came from and then my my mom's dad was a college president of a Nazarene college
Starting point is 00:20:45 so I was just like always competing for attention from people who were like 60 years, 70, 80, 90 years older than me. Church rock stars. Church rock stars. Interesting. So I went to church town, we went to church. Yeah, Nashville is like very, very, very, very churchy. Yeah, you even like, a lot of people in Nashville.
Starting point is 00:21:06 I was there, it didn't seem like it at first glance. You were at the Heedon's downtown, a conch town. Hold on, David, I was at Kid Rock's country, Shit Show Bar, and it didn't seem like a... David, are you, sorry, hold on for a moment. Are you suggesting there might be a level of hypocrisy of a server Christian environment? I don't know. Yeah, I just remember learning, you know, whether
Starting point is 00:21:31 like if it was, I remember learning Darryl Hammond's Al Gore not knowing anything about politics. Oh, wow. And just repeating that for like, adulthood church and then flipping out that like a child is like, you know, doing walk-box or whatever. Well, you know, I have to do it tonight because it was just available. Yeah. You must have a hand-on Tennessee. You look a little like Al Gore.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Al Gore, well, you two commenter said Wayne Gretzky the other night, and I didn't feel very good about that. I'm not bad, he's a sexy guy. He's a sexy guy. Yeah, way sexier. Yeah, let me rank who's sexy of the men. No, go ahead. But were you always jumping around, but did you go into stand-up mostly to do impressions
Starting point is 00:22:17 or were you just a straight standard and stumbled into it? No, I mean, the impressions were just something fun that I would do sometimes with friends, but like, soon after doing those monologue competitions and stuff, my dad was like, hey, do you want to fill time at this event at the college? And I was just like, I was 14, and I said, I'm going to do my own stuff. And like an hour before the show, I wrote a set.
Starting point is 00:22:40 I just wrote it. I had no clue how to do stand up. And the first two times I did stand up at 14 I did great and then every time until I was maybe 23 Was it absolutely? Yeah, that happened to me the first one. Hey, I got this and then two years of Bob With anything you knew what you're gonna do Dana or what did you do? I had you know these are 70s classics.
Starting point is 00:23:06 I had a Captain Kirk bit. Fuck yeah. Right down the middle. Right down the middle. I had the only thing that saved me, and I'm gonna ask you if you had a fail safe. Jimmy Stewart is a waiter, even in a bar with Hell's Angels Throwin' Beer at me,
Starting point is 00:23:23 that would always kill. And it was the only impression I really could do. Go ahead. With Jimmy Stewart. Jimmy Stewart would do it. Of course. You need one of us to guide you in. I'm not proud of it.
Starting point is 00:23:38 It's just my love of Jimmy Stewart was so extreme. I wanted to learn to do him. So, no, it's called a tease. My point is driving up. I was driving around the peninsula near San Francisco and a Volkswagen bug with my stoned out friends. I'm like 21 and I'm all the sudden it and I don't know if this has happened to you but all the sudden it kind of hit me. I mean all of a sudden, and I don't know if this has happened to you, but all of a sudden it kind of hit me. I mean, literally, all of a sudden, I could do Jimmy's store. And this is not a bit.
Starting point is 00:24:13 There was a jack in the box. I had my friends go in. I went through the drive-through to see if it would work. This is an absolute story real-time. We take your order, please. I said, yeah. I'll have a jumbo jack and cheese. But then later on, it was a bit, and he's just a waiter.
Starting point is 00:24:33 Can I take your order? We're not ready yet. Well, I got 10 other tables. What am I? A dancing monkey? Well, we want to know the specials. I told you the specials 10 minutes ago. What? Well, fuck you, too.
Starting point is 00:24:48 Well, no, that was the fail safe in the bars. Did you have a bit that would always work? Oh, yeah, I mean the thing that I always that I always dig out is this I do this long set up, especially if I've already been tanking I do this a lot of colleges where like but it's already like silent. Can't imagine. Like anytime I talk during this podcast. If it's like Ben silent, I will start telling this long story about like, well, I didn't wanna be a comedian.
Starting point is 00:25:16 I wanted to be a recording engineer. And then I have this line that I say over and over. I know it's not the funniest part of the show. I know it's a little indulgent, but you know what, it's a piece of my life. Process, that's the line. Yeah, that's the line that I say over and over. I know it's not the funniest part of the show. I know it's a little indulgent, but you know what? It's a piece of my life. No, that's the line. Yeah, that's the line that I say over and over.
Starting point is 00:25:30 I know it's not the funniest part of the show. I know it's a little self-indulgent, but you know what it's a piece of my life, and I like to share it with you. And I end up saying that like nine times, and hopefully the smart people realize that I'm setting up a big dumb day. But I'm basically, I'm just like,
Starting point is 00:25:42 do you guys know that the Eagles are Scottish? The band, the Eagles are Scottish. I used to work in the studio in Scotland and kept seeing the Eagles on the wall all the time. And I was like, hey, why are the Eagles always recording here? You know, my supervisor, I know it's not the funniest part of the show. Maybe it's a little self-indulgent. But you know, it's a piece of my life. I'm not like to share it. This is what this podcast is about. It's all it is. All of me doing is. Dana do his talk. My supervisor said, you know that Eagles are actually Scottish and I was like, oh, I didn't know that. He's like, yeah, they change their voices and post-production to make
Starting point is 00:26:15 them sound like they're from California. It's a big marketing thing. And, you know, before I go, I just tell you, you know, what's a famous Eagles song and I'll tell you what it was like to hear the original cut. You know, I got to, I just tell you, you know, what's a famous eagle song, and I'll tell you what it was like to hear the original cut. You know, I got to hear all the original demos. So what's a, what's a, what's a, what's a, like a, what's a California? What's a California was really interesting.
Starting point is 00:26:30 Hotel California is a really interesting story behind it. Yeah. What's a California is kind of like, um, welcome to the hotel California! Such a lovely place, such a lovely face. Yeah. So I do like, I do likeeagle songs, and then I say, did you know that any song is Scottish?
Starting point is 00:26:51 Every song ever recorded. Any song was originally Scottish. Did you know that that's true? And I just wait till people start shouting. Starting in the USA, Miley Cyrus or something like that. Any song? Give it to us. Free bird. Free bird.
Starting point is 00:27:08 I must free as a bird now! Like by the end of it my voice is thrashed and then I can't do my job in New York City anymore and It's impressive because you're I see you here Kind of laid back and then when I see that come out of you, it's like, okay. It's coming from someplace. I saw it. The hardy all that loud, but we'll get to your Trump. Dana, I saw this young gentleman on Do Stand Up at a place called YouTube today.
Starting point is 00:27:39 But you were on a big show called Hot Tub. I don't know what that is exactly. But they- It's in the East Hollywood. You've done a that is exactly. Yeah, yeah. But they, uh, It's in the East Hollywood. You've done a lot of, Oh, is that a club? It's, Hot Tub is like a show that started in New York.
Starting point is 00:27:51 It's hosted by Kurt Brannohler and Kristen Shaw. You probably know Kristen Shaw. Oh, yeah. Okay. But they host that every Monday at the Virgil in East Hollywood, in Silver Lake. Okay. So I saw a clip of you on there and we're gonna go over some of your jokes. Okay. This is terrifying. Oh, this is interesting. I hit up Dana today. I said I think these are pretty funny.
Starting point is 00:28:12 You said Stevie Wonder. There's a song about where he talks about how pretty the women are and you go Why would Stevie Wonder care if they were pretty and then you say because he's married And I thought that was a good misdirect joke. I saw that. That's a good joke. Thank you. I didn't see it coming.
Starting point is 00:28:31 And then you took. Now, you don't know. I didn't mean to say that. That's not what I meant. And you said, you had some religious jokes. You said, I go to off season church, which is a funny term. So that means not the big holidays. You have to go in the dead parts in the middle.
Starting point is 00:28:46 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a real church. It's a red shirt, red shirt church, you know, it's creamages. Yeah. And I like you watch, you watch movies with your mom and she talks, she has questions the whole time, just for you.
Starting point is 00:28:59 And one's answers from you during movies. And then you pick an exception, which is funny, because it's like the hardest movie to follow. Yeah. And then all your mom says, is, are you gay? That's her question. That's her question, the whole movie.
Starting point is 00:29:12 These are great jokes. Just kill these are great jokes. I'm telling them and they're working. We guys, they're great. You did a great job. And you, they're just funny thoughts, I think. And you were a bit of a Bible thumper. Was that always your whole life?
Starting point is 00:29:26 Okay, some of your jokes are the any of Maraited or any of your jokes dirty. I mean, yeah. Oh, now they are. They started not. I know. I was only like a teen Christian comedian. I was only like, I was only concerned about the like clean Christian comedy until I was maybe like 17 or 18. And then from then on, I wanted to be accepted by the wider world. And you said, we're gonna talk for a few minutes about boon time. Boon time.
Starting point is 00:29:50 Boon time. No, I mean, I'm gonna change gears here. I don't get that rough. I don't know. It's because you want to like, you wanna appeal to as many people as possible, right? Also, you have a look, you have a feel that I have this too a little bit, not as much, but they,
Starting point is 00:30:10 you sort of cemented your brand of comedy and they buy a certain type from you. And I think I was on TV for a long time, and not a lot of people knew I did stand up. So they knew me from PG-13 TV shows and movies. And so if I went too far beyond that, they would quiet down. So I had to feel it out like a boxer where they didn't want it too rough for me. And I think Dana's kind of like that. So do you not that dirty? Well, I think on Sarah I live, you have some parameters. You have a sensor guy. And so
Starting point is 00:30:42 you're limited, which is kind of nice. You like to have some boundaries of what you can do because then you have to get more clever. I mean, Seinfeld famously had a joke that had an F-bomb in it. And he worked for like three years in a room to like make it just as funny without the F-bomb. Right. But I said fuck a lot tonight because I hadn't done stand-up in a while. If I do a lot of stand-up, those F-bombs go way down because I'm not as jumpy. Sorry about that. It is funny to be at a table read and watch one line in a sketch be like, there was one
Starting point is 00:31:21 thing where Bowen and 80 were doing their pop group thing. This is like this glitter revolution. Yeah, yeah. And they have a catchphrase at the end of their little pop group song about Costco or whatever. And their catchphrase for this one was, Pussy's to the sky. And you're watching Lauren, being reacting of like,
Starting point is 00:31:45 they're not going to say that on the phone. And then you get there and you watch it at dress and it's holes to the sky. So I've been hearing hole a lot on SNL. I almost grow up like that. It is grosser, it's more disturbing. Yeah, and they do that with censorship. They give you a different word that's more sickening. It's more disturbing. Yeah, they do that with censorship. They give you a different word
Starting point is 00:32:05 That's more sickening and more offensive. Yeah, it is it is just let it just let them say the gross word because the alternatives are So I had no church lay which I've talked about I couldn't say They said that she can't say penis that much So I had to swap out penis and then do something like that. And it was kinda like, well, you're naughty, throbbing, and gorge loaf is willing and ready. It was way, way more pornographic. Red-headed meat missile.
Starting point is 00:32:37 Yeah. Throbbing and willing, you know, it's like so. They go, that's terrific. Yeah, good, you're a fixed-up problem. No's terrific. Yeah, good. You fixed that problem. No more penis. Welcome to the Froggy Norgam. I guess we should ask this guy, the SNL, because we want to get to SNL stuff.
Starting point is 00:32:53 Sure, but yeah. When you, all the basic stuff, you get your, you're on the road to incentive. Are you a middle? Are you a headliner? Oh, featuring for like 10 year straight. Just like, I was a middle. That's the, before the headliner.
Starting point is 00:33:05 You do about 25 minutes. That's when I got hired too. So, and you were a full headliner. Yeah, but I came up early. They were just trying to, can you do 45? I mean, I went to a toy store to get bits. I mean, I had a trunk like Robin Rammel. They sold it all.
Starting point is 00:33:19 I got a guitar because I could fill time. It was a different, they were just building comedy clubs at that time. But so you're a feature act. So take us back like I know you're married and you just had a child. So before your wife got pregnant, how many months? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:42 Tell her how to get my son Homer. How's your a pregnant? You dated me on SNL in early October 2021. Yeah. So if you take us back before, you were just married and you were a feature act on the road, right? How many months before you became this superstar? Oh, I mean, I was featuring pretty regularly,
Starting point is 00:34:03 just like flying out to random clubs, like every other, once every two or three months, not steady work, but whenever a buddy would throw me a bone and try to... I'm off to gut busters, okay, see you soon. Yeah, I'm... That's a real one. Yeah, I mean, just some busters. Oh, really?, just a lot. It's got a lot.
Starting point is 00:34:25 It's still laughs a lot. I'm off to sleep in a comedy condo with some grown men smoking camel blues indoors and playing out here solid. Yeah, it's such a weird lifestyle. And in that period when it started to take off for me, that was the height of my plane anxiety. And that kept me from reaching for the stars. In that period when it started to take off for me that was the height of my plane anxiety and that kept me from reaching for the stars. The fame calmed down a little bit.
Starting point is 00:34:49 The fame calmed down. So when my wife and I got back together, so she was my first girlfriend ever, then we broke up for like five years and a lot of my time in LA I was single and then we got back together in 2017 and that's when I did JFL and Montreal. I was in New Zealand. Just for last, you know. And you know, my career started to like take shape and I was like, oh, I could probably actually do this professionally.
Starting point is 00:35:17 And can I just ask you what, what, so she was your first love and then five years and then what made you come back around, you think, if you could share that with us? Maybe come. And make it as personal as possible. Is she my wife's Irish Catholic to the core? Oh really? So I like religious people.
Starting point is 00:35:38 I mean, my wife and I aren't religious. Our families are though. Oh, so we're the like... We have sex. We have sex, yes. She whispered it instead of asking. Uh. Austin is nasty to me.
Starting point is 00:35:52 Filthy, filthy. Yeah, we, um, but, uh, let's see, we, we, when we got back together, I saw her on Instagram. I saw that she was in LA for a Dolly Parton show, and I thought maybe we'd hook up or something. We go, hashtag Dolly Parton show. She was there. I thought we'd get beers and like make out a little bit or something. I was like, oh yeah, maybe we'll hook up. That'll be sweet. And then we just like immediately were like engaged
Starting point is 00:36:16 like within very, very quickly. It was one of those things where it's like, oh, this is a marrying this person. So when she, and she's studying to be a counselor, her dad is like a counselor, her mom is a counselor, and they sort of helped me adjust to like flying, and like they helped me sort of hook into overcoming my like crippling anxiety with travel and all that stuff. And it just, I'm just good at it now.
Starting point is 00:36:45 I like it. How are you doing with anxiety on Saturday Live? Bill Hader, it was just a horrible form. The crying and sobbing in the bathroom. Yeah. Alex, you knew the bathroom he's talking about, right? Yeah, I know. I go there and talk.
Starting point is 00:36:59 The sob chamber. That's a co-ed bathroom. And I will say that I have anxiety shits sometimes. Okay, we're going go to a commercial. We're gonna do a deep dive on the... So it's not fun to... It's not fun to... That one kind of loader we talking about.
Starting point is 00:37:15 How are we talking? Loafs? No, I don't really have anxiety with SNL. It's like, it's like... What? It is the only thing... It's like the job that I truly enjoy. Now, am I having fun live?
Starting point is 00:37:29 I can't say that I am loose and having fun yet. I am too fearful of not getting the cards right and not getting the camera cut right. And I'm still totally stuck on all that. But the job is super fun. Like it's hearing y'all talk to Bill about loosening up in your four or five seasons and playing around, watching Keenan how he can grab his card really quick
Starting point is 00:37:58 and go back into the scene. I'm just watching the experts do it and I'm hoping that I'll absorb that. There's nothing like just doing it over and over again, but yeah, exactly. There's a feel of always wondering if your job is steady and if you're gonna get fired. So, which is legit, everyone. I didn't really have that. I gotta be honest. I gotta look you.
Starting point is 00:38:20 That's true. I had the church lady the first night out. You came out of the box and I was more just trickling in over time and it was tough for us. They could have cut me and no one would have noticed. That was the hard part. You came out. They would have noticed.
Starting point is 00:38:36 You were my understudy. I came in as this understudy. So it was like, we have a good one of that. So do we need the other one? I was literally like, no, Lauren would say to me, David's always ready. David's always ready, Dana.
Starting point is 00:38:53 And you'd sit behind me and read through us. And I go, don't blow it. Don't blow it, guy. But did you always funny? Did you, oh yeah, when did Lauren call you? No, no, first of all, you were a question. And do you audition all stand up or impressions or both?
Starting point is 00:39:10 Okay, so I was just like a straight stand up pretty much all my career and it was really during the pandemic that I started post. Like when I did new faces in 2017, I did Louis CK. I did like a spiritual Louis CK. That was like my closer. You ever just have a moment with the universe or God or you define that presence in your life and you go and you go outside and the sky is blue and that's enough.
Starting point is 00:39:48 Damn, that's like a magic trick. It's a magic trick. I do like it. To me, it's like a magic trick. And my daughter is a dick. Yeah. And you had Louis, and that was your only one. That was the only, I would just say You do again on TikTok, because I forgot.
Starting point is 00:40:07 I thought I saw you. Did you walk around and film yourself doing Trump? Yeah, so like when the pandemic happened and comedy died in LA, I would just, my wife and I were just stuck in our 200 year old apartment in Glendale in a crumbling rat-infested building. 22 grand a month.
Starting point is 00:40:26 Uh, exactly. You see my bills? I love them. And I would just go out on those walks by myself and that's really where the Trump started to truly take shape. I would try it on stage and I would say, I would do the thing that a lot of people do with Trump or they just say the crazy things he said. And half the people were pissed off that I was reminding them that he said crazy shit. Right.
Starting point is 00:40:51 And the other half of the people were like, you can't talk about Jesus Christ to that way. There was like, I could never get the room because half the people were like obsessed with them. And the other half were like, don't even mention Voldemort so So when I started talking about like wizards and and swords and like stuff that you know stuff that makes no sense That's like yeah, that's when the audience started enjoying the trip. Dana. I saw this clown I was like not maybe it's Instagram, but oh yeah Instagram and Twitter is up and it was like, maybe it's Instagram. But Instagram and Twitter is like that one.
Starting point is 00:41:25 And it was like, you're walking, but it didn't seem to match your face. Like the voice I thought was really Trump. And you were just mouthing along because you were talking very casually and it was a stream of conscious. You were talking about different things. And it's very hard to be put on the spot
Starting point is 00:41:42 and do an impression because, you know, I've done a few of my day, but I see how Dana does it. And there's little hooks you be put on the spot and do an impression because, you know, I've done a few of my day, but I see how Dana does it. And there's little hooks you do, like any impressionist. And so if you can't go to those hooks, because you sort of memorize a bit in your act that where you get to hit all the good spots. But like, if you're on a radio show and they go, hey, what would he think about this? And you're like, oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:42:01 Like, you don't have no any jokes about it. And you're just trying to talk and match the tones and everything. That's really hard to do and all the shading. And you were doing it. I was like, this guy's pretty good. I'm never sending it to people. And then when you got us, now I go,
Starting point is 00:42:14 is that that same dude that was walking around me? Yeah, he was walking around. But it sounded so good that I wasn't really shocked. I just go, I can't believe they found him. That's how, I mean, yeah, I did get lucky. I think it may have been, because I had a podcast called What Things or What Things, where we would match up what things are what things, like what Jackass cast members are what sandwich ingredients.
Starting point is 00:42:40 We'd have a guest on, and they'd be like, well, I think Johnny Knoxville is probably Rose Turkey. Sure. And then they explain their answer. And I would always come on as a character. So on this podcast, that's how I got used to like doing an impression for like 10 minutes straight. So that's where I worked on Joe Biden. I did Bob Dylan.
Starting point is 00:42:59 I would do Bob Dylan a lot, you know. What era Bob like the reason? I would do like the serious XM theme time radio, Bob Dylan. You know, like the recent, like, when we got another hit, by this, get another hit, by the ink spots. Five brothers and a lot of this thing, incredible music. And here they are singing, Java Giant.
Starting point is 00:43:19 So I would do that kind of thing. And then he would, and then he would spend off talking about his son, Jacob Dylan, like, oh go, oh, no, Jacob Doe and then want to hang out with his father for a day. I said, I want to go to IKEA. Why can't you bring me to IKEA with you? I like to pick up a little pencil. I like to mock down what couches we found affordable.
Starting point is 00:43:38 Why won't you go to IKEA with your father, Jacob Doe? I'm waiting for that on SNL. That's awesome. I want to do, but we've been doing a press conference. I'm waiting for that on SNL. That's awesome. I want to do Bob Dylan. We can do Bob Dylan and Preston. We can work it in. He pitched his cell.
Starting point is 00:43:49 You know that time will come. I just feel like right now. We're just about ready yet. Yeah, so Dana, you'll do David. David will do Dana. Oh yeah, that's Lauren. I was going to say you have a Lauren. I do like, there's a lot of lorns that people do,
Starting point is 00:44:06 and I think the lorn that you do, I think is rooted in the era, probably that you met, right? Yeah, and a little deeper now. He's a little deeper now, and it's like, well, it's almost spring. It's almost spring, and people will be going outside. He's very soft-spoken.
Starting point is 00:44:27 Maybe a good show this week. We've been nice and we did comedy. The comedy lined up for me through. We're gonna have a two-week break and it'd be really nice to go home and not have people mad at you. People ask you about the show. You'll see. You enjoy the show. You'll be talking about the show and James will do Dana and David you'll do the other James. He goes to me. All right. David, everyone's going to tell you you're the best person on the
Starting point is 00:44:58 show and you're not. You're not. And I go, they do say that. Because all you do is it happens to every cast member that their friends all go, you're the funniest one in the show and then Lauren regulates and goes, yeah. That's what they tell each cast member. And it was kind of a wake up call, but it was true. It's good to, because I was like, what everyone, and then I think of everyone, it's friend, mom, family, dad, brother, sister. They fucked you, man.
Starting point is 00:45:28 Yeah, you're so good, one. I'm going to break down just for my own amusement. Yeah, sure, sure, sure. James is awesome, Trump. Because I think that the way you do it is free association jazz. And I know you can. I wanted to say that a podcast clip
Starting point is 00:45:46 of mine that I think it caught on with like Seth Meyers and his group of friends, because it was Trump talking about 2000s New York alt comedy. It was like I had been doing Trump and our guest, Whit Thomas, was like, hey, try, weren't you a comic back then and the 2000s in New York? And I'd be like, oh yeah, there's, hey, try, weren't you a comic back then in the 2000s in New York? And they'd be like, oh yeah, there's, you know what, it was so wonderful to be with comedy,
Starting point is 00:46:10 you know what, with comedy, it was never about the shows. It was never about the shows. It was about the diner afterwards. We loved diner. And I would, and be eating pancakes. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me pancakes. Oh, excuse me. Excuse me.
Starting point is 00:46:26 Excuse me. Excuse me. Oh, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little,
Starting point is 00:46:40 he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, he's a little, can I talk please? he's not giving me any moment to talk. I'm eating pancakes with Patrice O'Neal, and I just can't believe that I get to do this every night. So wonderful, great city on earth. You do Gotham and you do Ruffee-Fee and you do, maybe you'd get a spot at the Boston
Starting point is 00:46:55 or something and a little couple dollars in your pocket. You say, oh, this is a pretty good gig. Made 300 bucks tonight, you know, maybe by PlayStation or... Go to Gap. There's so much detail in that. And you did the little breath thing. You know?
Starting point is 00:47:16 Here, I'll give you a... Thank you very much. I'll read these as myself. Okay. Like, these are just Trump things. You've incorporated with free association. I bet you never wrote these down or anything, but I watched your thing. Okay, frankly, let me tell you,
Starting point is 00:47:33 you're gonna be seeing a lot of it. That I can tell you. Yeah. Yeah, that I can tell you, that I can tell you. Let me tell you, frankly. Frankly. Okay, let me tell you frankly frankly Okay, let me tell you If you could read those frankly, let me tell you you're gonna be seeing a lot of excuse me Excuse me. I can tell you that that I can tell you I can tell you that I
Starting point is 00:47:57 Mean when you look at I mean when you look at when you I mean when you look at yeah that that yeah nectar phrase Yeah Ask me something that I do. So you're going to be a reporter. You're going to ask the real Trump a question. He doesn't have an answer, too. So I'm just going to not have an answer to it. Right.
Starting point is 00:48:14 So do you think we're going to increase exporting natural gas to Europe? I mean, when you look at what China is doing in terms of esports, I mean, really, when you look at all of it, if you look at gas, I mean, if gas is one thing, but frankly, when you're looking at all the rest of it, I can tell you that, I mean, when you look at what they're doing with,
Starting point is 00:48:33 and look at what the Democrats have told us. Oh, I love it. The way that he can, let's do it. Oh. Oh. He'll just spin it off into like his mesmerizing like way of talking in some other place. There's more if you want to see.
Starting point is 00:48:49 I had no idea. And it didn't work out so great for some of those people. And it didn't work out so great for some of those people. Yeah, I love that one. Man, I mean, we were all listening to his voice for four and a half hours every day for like five years. You're the one who put it all together, you know, and then you made it into the supernatural. I'm looking at what they're doing.
Starting point is 00:49:12 Let's see, look at all of it, frankly, look at all of it. Look at all of it. People are very disappointed. Like, you wouldn't believe. A lot of people are very disappointed. Like, you wouldn't believe. A lot of people are very disappointed. Like you wouldn't believe. That's a big one. There is a level of disappointment that would make your head spin, frankly.
Starting point is 00:49:31 That would make... There's so much disappointment. People are angry. What people, what are they angry about? Never matters. You know, he says anybody, he says someone, and a lot of people are saying very bad things about someone, they're all,
Starting point is 00:49:46 you're hearing it more and more all the time. It's all very end-run. It's banging, it goes into a cork. You know what? Terrible deal, a really bad, bad deal. You're seeing it all over the place. Many people are saying, okay. You're seeing it all over the place.
Starting point is 00:50:01 Many people say that. And they're saying, we don't want that. We're not people. We're not people who don't want that. We're not people. We're not people that will want that. We're not people. We are going to be doing something very soon. We are going to be doing something about it. Nobody knows.
Starting point is 00:50:16 Nobody knows. Nobody knows. My favorite was when he was at the rallies during the height of COVID. And he was like, and they can't even tell you what the 19 stands for. It's literally 2020. It's 2020.
Starting point is 00:50:31 And I'm like context clues. What do you think the 19 probably stands for? The 2019 version of the virus. I think that was all I had. But oh my god. He does say words like old-fashioned words like terrific and fantastic. Things like if dad says you're a grandma that aren't
Starting point is 00:50:49 the vernacular as much anymore, but he keeps throwing them in there. It reminds you that he's 75. Do you want to do? Oh, yeah. He's 705. And it's the mix of the old-timing language and the old-timing way of thinking and speaking about people.
Starting point is 00:51:04 But he's obsessed with something rude that Lady Gaga said about him on a radio show or something. Lady Gaga was very, very rude. Not nice. And she was not, she was not nice. She was not, it was also the kindergarten or thing. They've just like breaking down what would have been a more elegant phrase with another presidential candidate and just breaking it down to like the caveman fragment, like
Starting point is 00:51:30 not nice, very big. Stone Cold Loser. Stone Cold Loser. I mean, that's the, that's where you get the, the 80s wrestler thing. Oh, okay. Because there's a little bit of 80s wrestler to it too. Yeah, WWE. Now, you do something, you a little Yeah, WWE. Now you do something,
Starting point is 00:51:45 a little birdie told me, you do something, well, where someone could give you a famous TV show, and you could talk about it as Trump. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I can do that. Well, since they don't think it's, this is not print pre-plan. You guys yell out any kind of famous TV show? Okay, there's 200. What did you hear? I can't. The 18. The 18? The wonder you. Anything you've heard of. You know what, with Winnie Cooper, she was very beautiful.
Starting point is 00:52:18 But I don't think that Mr. Savage, you know, Mr. Savage just needed to wait his turn. I think that he needed to wait his turn with Winnie because Winnie wasn't ready for what they were doing with Winnie. And Joe Cocker is such an awful person when you meet him with Joe Cocker. That is someone who needs a little bit more help from his friends. I think he probably had to, you know what they said that he got high with the help of his friends. As a what kind of friends are that?
Starting point is 00:52:43 If they're helping you with drugs and they're helping you and you look at China, you look at what they're doing with Russia, what they're doing with. Honestly, what they're doing in Austin, Texas is absolutely awful. I think it's such a terrible thing with the Segways and the River and the bats. You know those bats shit everywhere.
Starting point is 00:53:01 Those bats are shitting on all of it. And I was looking around, they showed me the bridge and I said, we're going to do something about this bad problem. I got to do something about the bats because, and you know what they call it? Guano. Do you ever hear that? They call it Guano, have you ever heard that? I said, what the hell is Guano? And they said, it's what they call the poop and they poop straight down the front of their breast. You know, they poop and you see the poop on their legs. What is it go with their mouths? So we've been talking to Dracula, we're talking to Frank Einstein, we're gonna do something about the bats because the bats frankly should be sleeping horizontally. And this whole thing that Joe, you know, Joe Biden and Gamma, they want the bats to be hanging upside
Starting point is 00:53:41 down. They want you to be eating bats every night night There needs to be a brazen claim about what the democrats something the democrats aren't doing But but there's like a there's like a cut. I mean come on. That was all from the wonder years They were always like my China on the wonder years I remember yeah Yeah, you know what was savage savage was on the Wonder Years, I remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it was savage. Savage was, Savage was very involved with everything
Starting point is 00:54:07 that was going on with China, with in terms of China. Walling with regard to microchips and supply chain. I mean, it's really awful with Steve Jobs and all of it, I think it's terrible. I think it's terrible. It's like you don't really need like joke jokes. It's just the rhythm and the references are so funny
Starting point is 00:54:27 Yeah, I mean I don't like you I just listen to this for hours. I mean I love that's how he blow of it That's how he led us for four years is because it is fun to hear him talk It's fun to hear whether you like them or not like whatever politics are You will probably be hypnotized by the weird rhythmic way that he speaks. I mean, it works. It does work. Yeah, like how he'll just repeat,
Starting point is 00:54:49 you're going to be winning, winning, like you won't. It's going to be so good. Like, you just believe it because he said it 20 times in a row. Within one minute. Within one minute. It's going to be so good. You're not going to be so good. It's going to be incredible.
Starting point is 00:55:03 Frankly, it's going to be very, very good. So I understand why my grandpa, who was like hardcore conservative, who would never have voted for a Trump in his life. But the minute that Trump was on TV 24-7, if you just hear, I'm going to be amazing at this over and over and over again. And the people that hated him gave him the most airtime. They're like, can you believe that he's saying this? I'm like, you probably...
Starting point is 00:55:28 Well, like, they call it the Trump bump on CNN. They got a bit of that per year. I mean, it's just fun to hear him talk and it's a mesmerizing and it works. It's just, yeah. I mean, he has energy and then you go up that and then Biden doesn't seem to have a ton of energy. So it's not...
Starting point is 00:55:43 Yeah. You're more like, for Biden, it's okay. Like, I hope someone's near him in case he tips. You know, so it went from Trump this guy, and then it's just the exact opposite. So it's just not as fun for comedians too. There's not as much there.
Starting point is 00:55:59 I don't think so. Oh, it's very quiet kind of. Yeah, he's quiet. And Biden threading the needle of the Biden is tricky. For one thing, there's just like an exhaustion in the audience. Not even just on SNL, but when I go out and do stand-up. If I'm doing stand-up in Nashville or a blue state or wherever it is, a red state of blue state
Starting point is 00:56:18 doesn't matter. People are kind of tired of talking about who the president is all the time. And it's like, you know, with Joe, we just know that he's gonna be over there and he's gonna be doing his thing. And it's like, if audiences don't, it feels like they don't want you to go in on Biden.
Starting point is 00:56:37 Like that's, I always feel like, oh, am I doing him too old? Am I playing up the stutter? Because like if I do the stutter, a lot, like I get people who are like, you shouldn't make I playing up the stutter? Because if I do the stutter a lot, like I get people who are like, you shouldn't make fun of people's stutter. Yeah. And I'm like, have you heard how I make fun of Donald Trump?
Starting point is 00:56:52 Right. It should be fair. I'm pretty mean to Donald Trump. If Biden was a hardcore Republican, what would S&L do to him? I don't know. But it's a sensitive one. This one was never had.
Starting point is 00:57:04 I guess I'm not. I don't know. But it's a sensitive one. This one was never had. So was, Alec was clearly hates Trump. So it comes through as a mean impression. I think at least your Trump is just a funny goofy one. Like it used to be, I guess, in the like, with Dana with Bush and Biden, I guess. Funny. It's a little softer on him, but maybe because he seems more ginger or something, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:57:23 It's weird. It's like with Trump, it's like his body is like melting. He's like afraid of stairs. He doesn't want to walk uphill. There's like all these things where he's like, he's very like a Jacques Tati, like silent film kind of French comedy character. But his brain is super sharp and he's just
Starting point is 00:57:43 ready to scream about, you know, like Sarah McLaughlin, like he's ready to scream about his celebrity. And it's oxygen to him. That is. And it seems like Joe is not ready to talk. He wants to be silent. And his body, like when you see Joe Biden, he's like always wanting to like jog around and hop on.
Starting point is 00:58:01 I know. I was doing it. He's got tight hip flexors. So, yeah. So, you have the guy who's like, body is there, but like, I know, like the speech isn't rapid, like Trump. He's not like a powerful, like bam, bam, speaker. And then he does spark up. You'll see when Biden sparks up.
Starting point is 00:58:19 Like on the campaign trail, there would, every once in a while, there'd be a time like right in the middle of a speech reason. You like, yeah, we're gonna be working hard. Start better jobs. Better jobs for everybody. Jobs that are gonna get the kids working again. That'd be great. It's like kids can't buy cigarettes. The kids buy cigarettes.
Starting point is 00:58:39 Kids use to be able to buy cigarettes and they can do it whenever they want it. It was good. Kids can do it whenever they wanted, and the kids loved it as much cigarettes. And then he'd like coast back down again, and we'll say, I was supposed to want to have a work in that. Okay, okay. Right. It's not about yesterday.
Starting point is 00:58:59 I'm going to be president yesterday. I don't care about him. Come on, let's get him. Let's get him. It's not about yesterday. Yesterday you say, your co-seers, I'll call the day. You'll call now. Yeah, I'll call now.
Starting point is 00:59:11 My father lost his job, no joke. I'm not getting around here. I'm not getting around. Yeah. You know, my mama, you said saying. That's my favorite Joe Biden thing. Yeah, my mom used to have a saying. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:23 And then you just fill it in with whatever thing you need to say in that. Yeah. But my wife used to have a saying. Yeah, and then you just fill it in with whatever thing you need to say in that. And my wife used to have saying, Yeah, she said, We need more auto plants than this. You know, or whatever, Whatever thing he needs to say. It's a very old fashioned.
Starting point is 00:59:38 It's like, I don't think your mom used to say that at a breakfast time. We used to have a lot of cargo ships. She said that a lot. He makes a list. That's one of his hook. Yeah, one. Number one, what the guy said. Number two, you know the drill. Come on folks.
Starting point is 00:59:51 Let's get real. I'm talking loud now. Yeah. Watch me talk loud. I know how to talk loud. It feels like he's kind of spitting into the wind wanting that energy, the Corvette 50s guy come out. You know? And he's pretty loud. He sees that prompt and he kicks into a full sentence. into the wind, wanting that energy, the Corvette 50s guy come out, you know.
Starting point is 01:00:05 And he's pretty loud. He sees that prompt and he kicks into a full sentence. He's like celebrating. Oh yeah. It's like, I got the whole thing. He looks around, waiting for an applause break there to keep going. Come on. Montenegro.
Starting point is 01:00:18 It's down the bend, it's in parts. It's Caribbean. It is Jimmy Stewart. It is Jimmy Stewart. It's Jimmy Stewart. It's Jimmy Stewart and I try to mix in a little Owen Wilson into it. Oh wow. You know how Owen Wilson always has that moment in the buddy comedy where he has to
Starting point is 01:00:35 psych up the other guy like, Oh man, I trusted you. You're the best skater here. I see you skating and I think, wow, how I do that. So that's, yeah, I bring an Owen Wilson into my front. It's fun. Jeff dinner with Owen Wilson. Yeah, he's got a great voice.
Starting point is 01:01:00 But yeah, it's a bit of that. But on SNL, it's kind of a tough little sort of, yeah, it's. It's tough to delicate. It's tough to thread that needle just because, yeah. If you do go to Savage on him, you run into a thing of like don't like kick grandpa. That's too far. Yeah, I mean, and Trump has just not seen his grandpa.
Starting point is 01:01:23 He doesn't get the societal. No, look at this strength of his voice. And when you do it, it's like, really loud. I know, you know. He still thinks it's 1987. He still thinks he's like partying with like at Epstein's house, you know. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:37 Woo! Just like, just like, looking at all this beautiful day ahead of you. Like, he still thinks. I know he was not, I don't think he was happy with Alec Baldwin was impression as if you heard anything, any feedback. You know, they took him off Twitter. I wonder if he still had Twitter what he would be saying
Starting point is 01:01:58 about the SNF. Other than you're horrible at it? Yeah, always a terrible, terrible. I miss, I do miss him on Twitter. I think it's like, I think it's good to like hear what people have to say in general. That's like my opinion on all that is like, I would agree with that. Let him talk. Let him talk.
Starting point is 01:02:19 Like Bernie Sanders said, what are you afraid of? Woods. I mean, I mean, yeah, let them talk because if you don't like him, he's gonna say something that you can latch onto for the next couple of years. It's like, yeah, it's, it is, but I also get why they kicked him off because it's like, dude, shut up.
Starting point is 01:02:39 I get both sides of it, I'm just being done with it, I can't hear him talk every day for 10 more hours. And so now I do that to people. Now I am the person who makes it. You are Trump. Right now publicly. Yeah, I think so.
Starting point is 01:02:56 You've become Trump. It's weird. You'll see the YouTube comments after a cold open and people are like, why are they still doing Trump stuff? He's irrelevant and I'm like, I don't know, he's kind of the most consequential figure in American politics, still like very important cultural figure.
Starting point is 01:03:13 Well, he's gonna run in 2024. The leader of the Republican Party, he's the important person to hear from. Like, it's not irrelevant. Where does his energy come from? He's 300 pounds, it's Kentucky Fried fried chicken hot dogs and hamburgers. Filet-o-fishes. He's almost 80. What the hell? Is he drinking tab?
Starting point is 01:03:31 I drink 300 tabs a day. Three hundred a lot of tabs I can tell you that. Well, we're doing wonderful work with RC Cola and with... It'd be RC Cola like wonderful work with Arceco and with... With the Arceco, I like wonderful work. Because that's so 80s or 7. And I love to personify something that is not a real person and brag that I have a relationship with them. Arce and I, by the way, Mr. Pepsi and I are very good friends.
Starting point is 01:03:59 Pepsi, you know, Richard Pepsi is a very important person to me and our wives are friends, we play golf sometimes. I'm very good friends with Dr. Pepper. It's been a Mar-a-Lago. Dr. Pepper was Mar-a-Lago last week. His daughter had the most beautiful wedding dress you've ever seen. And I said, Pepper, you've got to, I mean 23 flavors. I mean, we could be doing 24, 25. LAUGHTER So that was like... It's just everything you say as Trump is funny.
Starting point is 01:04:33 I officially believe that it sounds as... I worry that I'm painting myself into a corner. Like, am I going to have another character that's this fun to do? Well, any of us will... Well, any of us ever see another personality like Trump on the political state. I mean, you're a fan of him. I mean, you never won.
Starting point is 01:04:49 You know, yeah, do you find him? It could be a supporter of Trump. We're fine with that. I still don't care. All right, anything else? I've got a lot of people there. I just love that thing too, that you do, that gutter hole. Oh, yeah, the chisel on, like, some dead paint on a window sill.
Starting point is 01:05:04 Yeah, because everybody did the soft, sensitive one, but thenisel on like some dead paint on a window sill. Yeah, because everybody did this off-sensitive one, but then you went like this. Yes. She's got great legs. She's a beautiful person. That's 80s, 90s Donald Trump. And then I guess like after, I guess screaming at assistance on the set of the apprentice
Starting point is 01:05:19 is what gave him that Tom Wates bed of ambience. You know. Hillary. Where did that come from? I have one little rhythm that I don't know if you, I've only heard it once. And you can use it if you want to. It's very subtle. He's doing a list.
Starting point is 01:05:37 And then he fades away. This is when he's at a rally. Yeah, yeah. And he does this slow fade on the last line. I'll just try to, I'll do my, go for it. Mediocre's at a rally. Yeah, yeah, and he does this slow fade on the last line I'll just try to I'll do my my go for it mediocre Trump at this point Flieshoes going very high it's going six seven eight ten bucks a gallon. How high can you go? Yeah? Yeah He's that's I don't know where that one is do you put that in there? Yeah, I think I mean the
Starting point is 01:06:02 That's, I don't know where that one is, do you put that in there? Yeah, I think, I mean, the round. How can you go? How can you go? Yeah, he drips off. But he goes, go, it's another tone. That's like the stand up, that's like the stand up showman part of it, right? Like where he's doing it, that's like my core. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:16 It's like, I'm looking at the, I'm looking at the, the windows that the leave God, and I'm looking at what they're doing with Volkswagen, so we're not going to be doing that too much over there. Yeah, how can we be doing that? It's like it's so obvious. How high can you go? Because people are screaming and clapping. He's looking at the side stands over here. And then he loses a mic for his side.
Starting point is 01:06:37 Yeah, it's like it's so obvious. Joe Biden doesn't even know where he is. He doesn't even know where he is. That's the thing. I think I just... Who have I seen do that? like Bill Inkvol or somebody? That's like a stand up thing. That's a stand up, great life.
Starting point is 01:06:50 Yeah, yeah. It's like a deaf jam thing or something. It's like a Bernie Mac thing or something. What else you got for me before we got to do a Q&A? I don't know. I think we should do the Q&A. I just enjoyed James Austin Jones. Yeah, he's
Starting point is 01:07:15 So, thanks for having me guys. This is fun. Oh, James. Thank you very much. We wish you all best if this is before we're gonna do the Q&A Yeah, you clear up. Yeah, you clear up. I just okay. No, I get or whatever you want to do You gotta know why does he stay and then they can ask about SNL learning. Yeah, all right you guys a little Q&A Oh, I guess we can sit down for this. OK. Or we can stand up if we have to just look. Oh, we're going to have a microphone. And then people walk us. I'm going to be a shit show.
Starting point is 01:07:34 OK, you've got a microphone. Go to him and will answer a few. If anyone has any, if they don't, they don't, it's OK. It's OK. It's no problem. Anything about really whatever. Oh, well, make a line. If there's anybody wants to come down here and then you can ask, it'll be a problem. Oh, there's the way it's no problem. Anything about, really whatever. Oh, well, make a lot, if there's anybody wants to,
Starting point is 01:07:45 come down here and then you can ask, and it'll be a filter. Oh, that way it'll get picked up on the mic. And then we can hear it. It's the O.B. Don't be shy. I like the people in the way, way balcony up there. People are see guys.
Starting point is 01:07:56 Look at that. She's Louise. So like, these tickets were a nickel. We couldn't pass it up. They were looking at the top of our heads and the last. Now they're like, spade, take off the hat. How high can you go? All right.
Starting point is 01:08:17 Here's a man in his brain. This guy coming right now. Oh, this guy jumped a lot. He went there. He's right in the front. Oh, OK, go ahead. What do you got? What a suit. So went, he's right in the front. Oh, okay, go ahead. What do you got, boss? So, obviously you guys are hilarious, right?
Starting point is 01:08:29 But I'd give. Like to know, who else on the cast did you really find funny? Like just really cracked you up when you guys were preparing? Maybe we'll go down the line. In my years, I locked out into a chunk where I had Dana, at Mike Myers, at Kevin Nean, Dennis Miller, Farley Sandler, Chris Roth. I mean, we really got Schneider, every two meadows.
Starting point is 01:08:53 I really hit a pocket there that they said was bad at the time and five years later, they said it was funny. And Dana would have liked. I got to partner up with three different comedians. Like Kevin Neelan and I did Hans and Franz, the Arnold. And that was so, still maybe my favorite thing to do. But right before Kevin would be Kevin and then right before they'd go five seconds, his eyes would just change and his IQ would go down like 50 points.
Starting point is 01:09:22 And then, you know, with Phil Harbman doing... Of course. Johnny Carson with Phil, God rest his soul, very good friend, and one of the all-time greats. He would do Ed McMahon and just every time he... Yes, you are correct, sir! You are. And then, of course, my brother from another mother, Mike Myers, and us doing Wayne's World. So really, everyone who does this show and survives it
Starting point is 01:09:52 and on any level has my respect. It's a really hard show to do and to get. And it's so fun to see James thriving there. James, I like you. You want some good people right now? You know, when I think of like things that happen at table read that were just like so funny and like the hardest I've ever laughed, like when Chris Red
Starting point is 01:10:13 introduced his mayor, Eric Adams thing. Oh yeah, yeah, I saw that. Yeah. That was the feeling in the room was just insane. With the bitch I'm from New York, like the way he does that was just incredible. And Andrew Dismukes, I write with a lot. insane with the bitch I'm from New York like the way he does that was just incredible and uh... andrid is mucce I write I write with a lot and I think he's really really funny
Starting point is 01:10:30 he is a lot of free writers there too yeah there's there's 55 people on the cast this year and it's a big cast it's a big cast it's hard okay well keep our answers to 12 minutes. Go ahead, next one. The later side, I'm sorry, this young man. Can you do another Trump as the apprentice, but you're firing David, because he didn't sell Salinsky break pads. Okay. It's pretty simple. It's pretty simple. Okay.
Starting point is 01:11:00 All right, here we go. You know the whole thing with Tommy Boy was you know they and they did black sheep too and I thought with Tommy boy Where where was acroid with black sheep? I think it was awful that they didn't have with Dan Acroid Maybe he did that picture. I don't know but that guy with aliens and all of it is so awful What he's doing with vodka and with house of blues? That's a meth-bucking. Yeah. All right.
Starting point is 01:11:30 Thank you. Thank you. That's great. I just had a question for, I think your guys are all great. David, do you have any other plans for any more books? Any more books. Oh. He's an author.
Starting point is 01:11:43 Well. Oh, he's an author. Well, no, I did that one pull right in the Snapchat world and then, you know, I turned into an audio book and that did well, so that sort of got me thinking of podcasting because it's audio and it's voice and then it turned into a day and an eye, our old buddies and we want to do this. This isn't my answering your question, but that, any more books? And I don't think, I don't know. I don't think any more books, because they're too hard,
Starting point is 01:12:12 but thank you, and thank you for asking. Thank you. I'm so glad to have you here with you, Drink. I've never done this before, so gentlemen, it's sort of my birthday from Chicago just to black from Vegas four hours ago to see you all from Austin Texas, love your 14 years. I would love your favorite Chris Farley, a normal Donald story. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:12:35 And Sarah Ella. And you are the smartest, funniest comedians of all time. That's why we're all here. So thank you so much. It's nice. Thank you. It's nice. Thank you. That's true. Thank you very much. Very sweet. If I had a day in a U-Private one, I have a quick Chris one where we would share an office
Starting point is 01:12:56 and he was sitting behind me. We had like a 10 by 10 office. I don't know if you know where it is. It's a, well, it's on 17, but it connects to the other one. So Chris and I had this one and then you walked through us to get this, I guess it was Sandleur and Rock. So Chris would sit behind me, but he didn't write, you know, or read much. And so I would be writing on a legal pad, we didn't have computers, I'd write my sketches, but it was so hard. And he'd sit behind me board, because everyone write 300 sketches for him.
Starting point is 01:13:26 So he goes, David, what are you doing? And I go, Chris, get out of here. I got to write some shit. And he goes, David, turn around. I go, if this is Fat Guy and Little Coat again,
Starting point is 01:13:35 it's not funny anymore. And he goes, no, it's not. It's a new thing. And then I turn around. He's got my Levi Jacket. And I'm going, back guy little
Starting point is 01:13:45 goat don't you quit on it and then we put it in the movie because it sounded funny Dana he always called me the lady because lady because of the church lady Chris rock also even today we'll say lady and Chris, Chris Farley, they call me lady. Norm McDonald was, I don't know, super, super naturally funny. He was, like, he saw my stand-up once and he picked out the worst bit that I did. It was very norm, but I loved him, but he backstage going, yeah, easy to do. That's really good doing that. You should do a lot more of that one.
Starting point is 01:14:24 That's really funny, right? And then I would do him back to him and he would laugh. I love both of them. That's cool. Yeah. Was Nurse Teresa there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's still there and she told me that my dressing room is Chris Farley's old dressing room. Oh wow. So that's like a weird cool connection that I have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have
Starting point is 01:14:52 to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have was just like this little bit of genius. You did the best way. The documentary about it was great, and man of reunion would be amazing. Yeah. But my question for James is the Trump skits are so, they feel like stream of consciousness, but obviously they're ridden.
Starting point is 01:15:17 Like how do you write those bits? Could it just record it? Yeah, and you write them alone, it doesn't already. Is there people that are set to write Trump? No, it's very collaborative. I mean, they write the cold opens Saturday morning. So a lot of times I'm busy with blocking or pre-tap or something.
Starting point is 01:15:34 And so, but what we usually do is now, the writers have a pretty good handle on the notes I like to hit, and the things I like to do. Last week, you know, with Easter, we did the first script at Run Through and then we have a dress rehearsal after that and then the big show. So I'm getting put into my giant prosthetic piece at 7pm for the 8pm dress rehearsal. And I can't see anything because they're putting the big eye bags on me and the giant jowls.
Starting point is 01:16:16 So the writer Mike Dichinzo came up to me with the script and this is usually how we end up working it out. He's like, hey, did you like all the stuff about Reese's and things like that? And he's like, yeah, I read it aloud to me, and I'll just throw out little lines. And so he was like reading it line by line. And I'd be like, oh, Reese's egg. He should talk about how he's good friends with Reese.
Starting point is 01:16:36 And it'll be that kind of thing. They have the hooks down. So they have the subject matter. And then I'll throw out in, I talked to you my second week at the show. We did talk, I asked on the phone, on the phone. Ask for your phone number and I was like, how do you do this cold open and the president thing
Starting point is 01:16:57 and injecting yourself into it and you're new there? And I just didn't know and you were like, you can throw out little lines when you're rehearsing and stuff like that. So now I've gotten comfortable with when a writer comes up to me you know being brave with like a joke I think would belong in or something like that. It's very collaborative but I don't write those all about myself. I just throw out little jokes here. Would you broke the code and you have the language and they hear it and then that's incorporated and that's the right way.
Starting point is 01:17:26 And they'll do that with my Biden too. Yeah, yeah. My buddy Mike Dichinzo is, he does my Biden around the office a lot. He like talks about that. A good trick is to, you know, I rehearsal is to just throw it shit, even in blocking. And whoever's watching it and the booth can write down stuff. Because when you're blocking, you got the stuff right there. Sometimes things just come to you that fit in and then you can have pepper and lemon during
Starting point is 01:17:52 the week. Man, it's really, it's the weirdest job in the world. You're getting nervous thinking about it. It's an intense job in the world. Hey guys, hi, David. And James, it's a huge honor to just even talk to you guys. Big fan, I remember growing up in Mexico, watching your movies with subtitles that didn't even
Starting point is 01:18:09 understand, but it was still frickin' hilarious. And that's sort of like his guys, Tommy Boy, come on. So I was just wondering, my question is, do you guys have any stories from being down in like Mexico or South America? And even if there's an impression in there, it'd be even better. I, we better steer clear of that but um...
Starting point is 01:18:28 Dana, do you have... I don't have any next goes. I do. I play... what? Mexico's... Oh yeah, I played a corporate date for Terminex. And uh... and I was... it was all day so it starts at 7 a.m. They put a giant tent on this lawn at this five-star hotel. And it was huge. And then I do a little bit of stick.
Starting point is 01:18:52 I go back to my room. It's like, yeah, 500 people. I'd come back and then it started losing air. The tent started deflating. But the time it went back almost, everyone was gone. It was halfway down. And they paid me a ton of money. I could tell you that.
Starting point is 01:19:06 And I just bombed terribly. But there was no chance. So that was my Mexico terminx corporate date. I did the same gig. And I was there. Did terminx? Covering for Martin Short. He goes, can you do this for me?
Starting point is 01:19:20 I go, yeah, I went all the way there. It was Dominican Republic. And then I get there. And there's so many mosquitoes. The first night, I got in at like two in the morning. So you know, I did, I took the raid and I just sprayed my whole body with raid. Sprayed my whole body with raid
Starting point is 01:19:33 and then I just laid there like a trap. And they'd come and they'd go, oh, they look at me and I go, fuck you. They're all, and then I went to the hospital also, but I feel like it was worth it. Dana, let's thank everyone for coming. Thank you for coming out. You got it.
Starting point is 01:19:49 Thank you for taking your time. And we'll see you next time. Good night. Come on, James, this way. Thank you. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Fly in the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes.
Starting point is 01:20:21 Executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corqurin of Cadence 13 and Charlie of all episodes.

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