Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Jon Hamm

Episode Date: March 9, 2022

Soft-core porn art department, The Town, and the SNL 3-timers club with Jon Hamm. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Lear...n more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Whether you're doing a dance to your favorite artist in the office parking lot, or being guided into Warrior I in the break room before your shift, whether you're running on your Peloton tread at your mom's house while she watches the baby, or counting your breaths on the subway. Peloton is for all of us, wherever we are whenever we need it, download the free Peloton app today. Peloton app available through free tier or paid subscription starting at 1299 per month. Well, I have to tell you, Dana remember when they had the Puck-Satani fill? Do you know who that is? That's the little rodent that predicts winter. Oh yeah. And he comes out.
Starting point is 00:00:41 But they, they, they, they back in winter when that happened, I remember someone leaked that he's a Republican, so now they're shadow banning him. Really? Mmm hmm. That's kind of funny. I mean, it's kind of, it's good. I like it. Anyway, John Ham.
Starting point is 00:01:01 John Ham is a him. And better news, John. It's been, John Ham is a, as a, by the way, great dude. Obviously he's a stud better news. John, it's been John Ham is as a by the way great dude. Obviously he's a stud. Obviously he's good looking. I'm sure he's tired. I would never be tired of being called good looking. I'm sure he is because it feels like it takes away that he's good. You I would be flattered if anyone had ever written a review about me saying, despite his good looks, and then the rest of the review, stunningly attractive does not begin to express. But John Hem, what's great about him,
Starting point is 00:01:34 and there's not that many of them, like leading man, brilliant dramatic actor, Madman literally was impossessed by that show. We just watched the entire last year, they're all of Mad Men. So that's brilliant. And then he really wants, he's a comedian too. It was great on us and he likes comedy and he gets into it.
Starting point is 00:01:54 He was also in the town, which is a fucking, I love the town. Tom the Maddie's movie. Yeah. And he loves to be in the comedy world and get in the mix. Sort of got that Tom Hanks vibe where he likes to get in and Alec Baldwin those guys just get in there and be funny and come to show and do whatever you want. And he's also popping in movies and bridesmaids of course.
Starting point is 00:02:13 Some other ones. So I like the guy, I don't know him really well, but I see him out. He's on curb too. Also I get a little offended when all the other guys around all these comedy shows and you go, what about the comedy people, the actual comedy people that do nothing else and never been accused of being good looking and in reviews. They only get this chick Whenever you're this motherfucker, and I'm like every single movie. Yeah, we don't know who the leading lady is but not a chance There's this perennial virgin David spade tonight on action news. I'm Tony Fennabo, and we have for it and He was this in a place where he was being star as fuck face, whatever's names. I'm like, you can't even look to see what my name is
Starting point is 00:02:48 because you forgot it for one second. Fuck face, McGee is starring once again. In some dog shit. You know what they said out the wrong, Missy? The best review I got was, it's a delightful piece of shit. That's what a guy said and I go, okay. Damn, I love the way the metrics are different
Starting point is 00:03:05 rather than box office, they say, what was it? What was it called, Missy? What? World Missy? Wrong Missy. Wrong Missy. Got like two billion minutes of views.
Starting point is 00:03:14 Yeah, it's a good. Wasn't it something like that? But no one will give it up. They're like, I think it was the eighth. That's what we get at a time. I give it up for two billion minutes. Yeah, and they're like, but I mean, I, a lot of the reviews are like, I watched all of them
Starting point is 00:03:26 laughed a lot, but don't worry, it's shitty. And I'm like, well, for a shitty movie, this that you could do worse, that third time I saw it, I was like, hi, I'm Johnny Beckhanded compliment. That's how it was. It's like, because they have to tell the reviewer buddies, they do not like it.
Starting point is 00:03:42 So they go, it's funny, I mean, I like it, don't get me wrong. But I did laugh. You know what I found myself as the other key. Not very witty, not very charming, sometimes stupid, but I found myself laughing several times. I'm Johnny Backhand for passiveaggressivenews.com. Listen, speaking of bad reviews,
Starting point is 00:04:03 John Ham gets none. He's good. John Ham has, you know, talk about open range with Cossard. John Ham has what you call a good old-fashioned range. And when he did Madman, when I first discovered him and then seen him and later things, he literally changes his face subtly
Starting point is 00:04:20 and made his voice deeper. I don't know who you are and I don't know what you think, but the all new Chevy. He also has a great voice over artist, and he can make himself be, I think he can literally make himself super handsome, then he has a way in the way,
Starting point is 00:04:37 medium handsome, lowers the chin, shoulders back, little high-waisted jeans, and then he can go to play the play the hobo. You know? Yeah, I've, in the Guinness Book, we're playing the same character for 22 years, and every different thing I've done. I'm hoping that if we get to season three of Fly On The Wall, that people literally will be going,
Starting point is 00:04:57 David, Dana, Dana, David, who's who? Why is there hair melding into them? And why does Dana have an organized facial hair and David has like a little mustache and a goatee and that it's all empty in the side? We're all basically the same. I know, I hate this, but I don't like it. I just do, because it looks worse without it.
Starting point is 00:05:12 All right, let's go to John Ham. People are sick of us. John Ham folks. All right, here comes the funny. I heard the regal big all fly it in. This is it, man. This is not gonna be We're always gonna be your nickname spader Eagle be You can always test how old people are if they see it shows this regal beagle either get it or they know And no one gets you do I do I do do. I do indeed. John, it's good to see you, bud. John Hamm is, uh, John, oh, we already introduced him, right? Okay. Do we start? Yeah, right? We've been going for about 20.
Starting point is 00:05:56 So when you get up in the morning, you have your list. You're going to do this, call this person, a podcast at 11 with spade and carvy. I'll make you happy or sad. Red letter day. You caught me right before I'm leaving the country too. I leave on a vacation tomorrow. Could we get the airline and flight number just out of total curiosity? I'm an airplane nut.
Starting point is 00:06:19 We're going to Kiev. I don't know, it sounded fun. I don't, it seemed like a place to go. I'm going to have a few. Listen, what is going it seemed like a place to go. Should I have me alone? Listen, what is going on? The Sean Penn's over there. What's he filming? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:06:30 Sean Penn is, he likes a hotspot. He goes to the hotspots. He brings a kayak. He brings everything he needs in case he brings band-aid. His kids and my kids went to high school together. Oh well. Up here in North California. His kids and my kids went to high school together Oh, well appearance in California and during I think it was Katrina All said he was in a robot and norleans or something. Yeah, so Sean does does get into the mock He'll go to New Orleans wherever you need him Swiss Army knife on him at all times a leather man
Starting point is 00:07:01 South West to I switched to other men joke and just sort of cleaned it up and said, Swiss Army knife sounded like I would understand that. Well, I am going to Switzerland. Weird. Are you for real? What are you going to say? Skies? Skies. Yeah, I've never, never been skiing in the out. I've never been in the best place. Well, wait a minute. Were you someone who could ski as a kid as a young man? Here's what my first ski lesson was. It was in St. Louis, Missouri on a frozen golf course. My friends who all knew how to ski said, just keep your skis pointed and keep your keep your weight on your downhill ski and then pushed me. And so I immediately couldn't figure out they're both pointing downhill for me So I didn't know which was which and I immediately fell down the parents at school
Starting point is 00:07:49 They'd all come in on crutches like around December You know they go to Lake Tahoe to ski and then they don't be kind of in a boot for a while Yeah, we had a we had a big diaspora of rich kids that went to like you know, Aspen and can brick and ridge in like Colorado That was the move, but I was not wealthy. Let me tell you about my first king day and it give me 20 minutes here Um, I went to ice ice ski. I snow-plow ice ski like I'm looking for a contact lens, you know Okay, sure. So I I'm not good my friends go the best way to learn is go to the top of the hill But it's really to ditch me, you know So I have all the green runs. I go let's go down pop tart
Starting point is 00:08:28 And they all go no, we're gonna go down devil's devil's ball sack. I go no, no, that one sounds hard I go listen I worked that we're gonna go down Santa Claus into jelly bean and Then into candy corn and then pillow town. And they go, no. Yeah, Hitler's abortion, here you go. Like, no. Yeah. Hitler's abortion, here we go.
Starting point is 00:08:50 And I go, no, no, no, that one, it's not on the map, but that sounds hard. It's not even a thing. It's gonna, it's gonna, and so the point is Dana, some of those sound hard. I'm enjoying this very much. Did that chunk ever find its way in your state? Oh, yeah, it was my last special. Okay, got it. Bit blur. I remember it, but I was too kind to bring it up. this very much that that that chunk ever find its way in your style.
Starting point is 00:09:05 Okay, got it. Bit blur. I remember it, but I was too kind to bring it up. I dodged a I dodged a I dodged a train, not a bit. Cross-country skiing with my brother and his wife. It in the woods lost noise and then suddenly a train and we dove into the embankment. Not funny, but train.
Starting point is 00:09:24 A train. A train. Not funny, but very strange. A train. A train. You didn't see the tracks? We did, the tracks were covered. It was really quiet. Maybe we're kind of yelling or whatever. And it probably was coming around a bin and then, t Just proves the old saying never go cross-country skiing.
Starting point is 00:09:46 Yeah. And always dive away from a train that's coming at you. That's what I say. Now, what's your favorite podcast you've been on so far in the last sense of pandemic, John, because we want to talk about it. My favorite one? This is up there. I was very much looking forward to this.
Starting point is 00:10:04 Now, I know both of you sort of separately and here and there, but it was a very exciting thing to be asked to be a part of. So, I mean, it's the jury's still out, but I mean, I mean, I guess it's show business, but yeah, we're thrilled to have you on the show. Thrilled. We did a deep dive.
Starting point is 00:10:21 We do our homework. John's from St. Louis, Dana, where my daughter lives. Isn't that real? St. Louis, Missouri. What's she doing in St. Louis? Well, actually, actually, yeah, yeah, who? Well, we'll get to that later. We all do what he is doing. Don't mean to be didactic or possess. Oh, you're a wonderful guy. No, he's a beautiful intelligent woman. It's just that location, it's a sensitive, you know, I'm fear rock croppings. I'm all the age, you know, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:10:53 She lives where it gets a little more good looking towards Springfield or Brad Pitt's from. Okay. That's a good plan. Bernal. I like it. Oh, here's Brad Pitt from a once upon a time in Hollywood. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:11:04 Yeah, let's face it, buddy. This is Leo. Let's face it, buddy. Oh my time in Hollywood. Go ahead. Yeah. Let's face it buddy This is Leo. Let's face a buddy. Oh my god damn it. It's been well that guy say to you Want me to go to Italy and do I tell you movies don't cry in front of the Mexicans look? I'm your go-fer man And I kind of like watching your house up in the hills all when you go off and do your things But where I come from going Italy and doing I I Italian movie ain't the worst of it. The thing is you can move me John. I did, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:29 I was like, does John see it? I was wordlessly enjoying that. Do you watch your movies and television shows? Yes, I wouldn't say I watch, I wouldn't say I seek them out, but if they happen to be on, and I'm in the mood, yeah, for sure. Because John Levitts on Monday would be down the hall with a VCR watching
Starting point is 00:11:49 Sarah and I, John knows this, and laughing as well. And his sketches, I always felt I would look at him, but trepidatiously, like I feel like I'd be too critical or too self-conscious, you know, I can't say. You know, it's funny, I guess having done, you know, we did 90 some out episodes of Mad Men So I'll I'll put if one happens to be on and I'll click on it out Yeah, oh, yeah, when what was this like what was going on in my life and what was happening? And yeah, sometimes you go I remember that day it was cold and we came to the set late
Starting point is 00:12:21 There was a problem with the life sometimes that sometimes, sometimes I have no, I mean, the show debuted over 15 years ago. I think the debut was 2006, so whatever that was, 16 years ago. Yeah. And it went off the air in 2015, so that's seven years ago. So it's a very weird, it's like, well, if I was in a show that good,
Starting point is 00:12:46 I think I might look at it. You know, like, like, like, Bert Lancaster, I did a movie with him once he goes, how are you gonna be in television? You've got no chin. So I don't look great in a profile, like I'm gonna be fine, you know, so. But if you have a movie star head, like-
Starting point is 00:13:02 Yeah, he does. Movie star heads are different. You know, there's, you know, I don't know. James Brolin from back in the day. Brolin's got a big dome. And it's just a good cranium and then a chin. I'm sure it's a, it's a, it puts you in your place too, being in the SNL makeup department
Starting point is 00:13:18 because you see all of the heads of all of the people over the years. All right. Yes. And they lined up like little soldiers. And I will say I was probably in the top 1% tile of head size in that room. I think only Aflex and Brolin had me on head size. Aflex has a noggin on him.
Starting point is 00:13:40 You know, told me George Siegel, I did a show with him. And he said, I have a movie star head, meaning him. He said, told me George Siegel. I did a show with him and he said I have a movie starhead meaning him. He said you don't meaning me and He said you might have trouble in the movies and I said well, thanks for that. Is that insane? Thing. What are these fuckers doing? Yeah, fuck him. He's so excited about his big bad head, but we're comedies I know I'm just going check to check here. I don't know what's next Yo, yo no sé qué voy a ver. No sé qué. tu público, entre muchas cosas más, adivina menos y vende más con Intuitimale Sim, la marca número uno en Emilio y Marketing y Automatización way mind Don Draper impression. Yeah. Oh, yeah
Starting point is 00:14:49 Don Draper is asked to give someone a ride to the airport. I Don't even know you That's it Wait, that's it. No, that's not bad though. Well, I can't it's a soft one. I don't even look at that your hook John is that that line is your I see it in memes. He's on memes a lot. Oh On Instagram. Yeah, I don't I've seen some of the memes. I don't I don't know if that's one of them I know there's one of me like laughing and drinking that it gets used quite a bit, but that might be a gift Might be a gift.
Starting point is 00:15:25 Let's not. It's a blur in line. I don't know if I can use the issue. Yeah. No one in the history of film or television has made a smoking to cigarette cooler. You know, maybe my police are a bull guard. But you know, yeah, it's pretty rare company.
Starting point is 00:15:41 That's for sure. There's a. You've really got that. It makes you cooler for sure. I well, it makes you sicker. Yeah, I mean, well, there's a big thing that is it worth it to look the sciences and in table the long damage. Let's just go without hip it is to the way you do that. The science is on its way in, but I you know,
Starting point is 00:16:01 some early reports say it's bad for you, but I say it looks cool, so it's sort of a coin toss. I say, yeah, do your own research. Yes. All right, I have another quick comment. 30 second compliment. Let's get Joe Rogan in on it. We compliment our guests here, but this is just an observation for me,
Starting point is 00:16:20 is that when I watch Daniel Craig doing James Bond, then I met him at the Oscars, named drop. And he's still Daniel Craig, but he does this thing that becomes James Bond. And I felt that you did the exact same thing on Mad Men. You have John Ham and then either your jaw or your shoulders, just like, I've just an interesting connection for me.
Starting point is 00:16:44 I really felt that. So there is a part of it. That's very, you know, depending, obviously, you know, when I'm wearing the suit and the thing in the hair slick back and all that stuff. Yeah. It's obviously very different. The way you carry yourself in it.
Starting point is 00:16:56 There's very much, you know, I am playing a character on that. It's not just me wondering. That's like Daniel Craig is a character actor. I think you are too. Yeah, I mean, I remember the first time I hosted the show We had a we had several madman sketches at 27 sure they load him up. Yeah, you're gonna get one at least so you might as well throw everything
Starting point is 00:17:15 Yeah, just one made it on the air. Yeah for sure but It was funny because like You know, I'd spent the time up to then doing other sketches and reading, you know various funny parts and this isn't that's and As soon as it got to the Don Draper I'd sort of dropped into the Don Draper voice and everybody kind of went oh It's a character every girl slid off her chair. That's what that sounds Yeah, and the cadence the rhythm. I mean you're married with the writing but that's very very cool David did you have something before I interrupt
Starting point is 00:17:46 your tour? Yes. Thank you, Dana. I'll get back to you. I have too many. One was I was in at the Marajas weekend. Oh, I appear there sometimes. Whoops. But I was with first I saw on TV. I watched Mr. Mrs. Jones. Keep me up with the Jones. Yes. Keke up. Is that that what the final title was? Yeah, they went with that. And then, and he's studying that and I go, you work with Zach and that gall? Is that how you say your name?
Starting point is 00:18:13 Gall? Gale. Gallicado. Great Gale. Jesus Christ, she's beautiful. And then it's a resting. Thanks. I mean, I'd be sick.
Starting point is 00:18:22 So, you did a good job in that because it was so funny, it was about to see you, and I was about to come, dink around and look at your stuff when I got home, and I go, ooh, I get to watch this, and what a fun sort of different movie to be in. And then I was with Ray Romano, we do shows together, and we golf sometimes, and then talk about a quick impression.
Starting point is 00:18:40 I think Dana, he does a Ray Romano. Everybody kind of does a Ray Romano, right? But I'd never heard one really. And I fucking work with him. Well we always, there was a joke that we had going on. I forget who started it. But there was, it was always like that you could do Brad Garrett and Ray Romano. Very like, having conversation.
Starting point is 00:19:05 It rides back here. Oh, come on. And then, and then Bradgate is a Raymond. So, he's just back at home. Come on, Raymond. Come on. It's my son, man. Yeah, it's really Lenny and Squiggy.
Starting point is 00:19:20 That's different versions. That's it. See, I love micro impressions where it's just the essence. You don't need to say anything more. I love Ray. He's, I mean, everybody loves him. It's been established at this point. And named the show after that concept.
Starting point is 00:19:33 But yeah, he's awesome. Super sweet. Here's my Barney 5. And? So that's only one word. Well, you need Barney 5. Oh, Andy. Yeah. And? Here. Oh, I am.
Starting point is 00:19:45 Here's my Christopher Walkins. He's a magic trick. Quick. Wow. That's it. We're done. Hey, Dana, did I tell you and John, you can listen, when I, when Accra said we should do Mayberry, me and him,
Starting point is 00:20:04 I should, that was back after Conan's, he goes, you know, maybe we should do, Mayberry RFD, I play Andy Griffith, you play, uh, dumb. You gotta save the money. You know, you gotta save the money. And then it was always very business. We went off about aliens. But yeah, I loved Danny Acroid and, uh, that we should have done it.
Starting point is 00:20:20 Well, let's think for a second of a John, half of the talk. It's not. That is too late, I guess. Can we put you in a, in a series live streaming, we call Ted at Netflix. Oh, you're already on FX,
Starting point is 00:20:34 who I hear everywhere, but by the way, on Sekweer, I love the Apple commercial. Oh, thanks. Oh, that's right. What about John Hound? What happened? Yeah, everybody with John Hound.
Starting point is 00:20:45 I mean, that is so, that was the name of the commercial. Was that the name of the commercial? Yeah, that was the name of the commercial. I love it because they say it on the top in quotes and you get your like call sheet, everybody but John Hound. The hammer, the fucking.
Starting point is 00:20:58 That's just like a great, great commercial. Yeah, you did a good job. You got to get a job that and just the way you played it. It was funny too, like my friend, a guy who I've known, who's a buddy of mine, you guys may or may not have met my, my, my tall, my very tall friend named tall John, who is the comedy writer, he's the right for Sarah Silverwell. He works as Sarah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think you've met him at Largo.
Starting point is 00:21:17 Yeah, yeah. And it's hard to, he's hard to miss, he's 610. But he, he used to write promos for the WB back in the day. He and Drew gothered and this guy, Wayne McClammy, who was directing it, he used to direct the promos. So it was like, we used to all go out and get beers and stuff and hang out in the late 90s in LA when we had no money. And we would go to Largo or we would go to see comedy or what have you. And now it was very strange to like see that dude on a set of a commercial that that I was sort of nominally the star of which was pretty cool.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Well the tall guy he would be at Sarah Sormon's roof party. He would actually stand on the sidewalk and we'd be on the roof. But you know you would go to largo would you go to largo a lot because I know you like comedy and you go see stuff right? Yeah, that was my that was my entree into sort of cheap entertainment because LA even back then was expensive. I did not have much money and so for you know, whatever two five dollar drinks or whatever it was and I didn't have to wait in line because I usually knew somebody and I got to know flanney and the gang and I got to know Flanny and the gang. Flanny. Is this club owner? Yeah, it's great.
Starting point is 00:22:26 But it was a pretty hot moment in time, the late 90s. And it was everyone from Zach was just starting up. He had that weird show on VH1. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah. Hot fit. And then guys like Bob Odenkirk, and Sarah, and Tinesh D, and Paul F and Doug Benson, just all those guys now that are sort of the eminent
Starting point is 00:22:47 squeeze of LA comedy. That's when they were all going, it was five bucks. It was like, it's great. I don't think it's that expensive. It's a lot of it. Largo is still a great place to go, run stuff, for goad is jump on somebody's show. I think the last time I saw you was at, was at the end of Sarah.
Starting point is 00:23:04 I think so. There's a photo of you, me and Sarah. Did we take a picture? Yeah. All right. Oh, okay. Posted. I tagged me a lot. I tagged a shit out of you in that picture, I think.
Starting point is 00:23:18 Anyway, can we first, second, talk about, like just right before Mad Men and SNL, because that's really interesting because people or listeners may not know this. So you literally were still, you came to LA, you were still not working, making a living as an actor till 29 or 30. So you had years of weight-aring,
Starting point is 00:23:38 I mean, I was just, how long that go on? Cause like, Well, I'm when I got to LA, I moved out to LA in 95. So, and I didn't stop waiting tables until I was 29. So, I had about four years of kind of roaming the desert, so to speak. And weirdly enough, I got a text from a number that I didn't recognize about a month ago saying, hey, is this John Ham that used to work at this restaurant? I used to work at Down in Venice.
Starting point is 00:24:06 And I said, okay, I haven't, yes, this is, but that's a very weird way to refer to me, but okay, yes. Yeah. And there, it used to be owned by Dudley Moore and Tony Bill. It was called 72 Market Street, it's not there anymore. But it was like a really cool Venice restaurant, you know, Sean Pan and Angelica Houston and Robert Graham and all the cool West Side folks would hang out there. And I was a waiter
Starting point is 00:24:32 there. And so that was the first time I ever saw Paparazzi. Richard Geer came in with someone who wasn't Cindy Crawford, which is broken up with Cindy Crawford. And it was like, crazy. Yeah. So anyway, they were having a reunion of this thing so they're trying to get everybody that used to work there. And yeah, fun fact, the guy worked with at that restaurant, left the job to go to Juilliard and I didn't see him again until the pilot of Mad Men
Starting point is 00:24:57 where he played the young tobacco executive, like the young version. Oh, weird, I have a protégé. Oh wow. Did you wait on famous people like that you admired and stuff? Did you wait on famous? You know, the only time I really waited on anybody famous was Don Henley once. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:25:17 Couldn't have been nicer. You loved Don Henley. There was a run there when... Mitch Glaser, who you probably know, Dana, or maybe you do just like she's a and Kelly They're neighbors now and I used to go and run catering at their house Which was wow. I heard you worked on porn sets as a fluffer. Did I read that right? What is it? What does that do? Certainly there were no
Starting point is 00:25:42 Genitals touched I was I was in the art department. There was an art department. What a bar room for. Yeah, I mean, it was soft core part. It was like, you know, skin and max. Was it a manual? Late night, what not? We shot in these dismal dingy places down in LA,
Starting point is 00:25:58 downtown. I love that. Stages. Was it like, really like skinamax, like they'd app, they'd be kinda naked, but they weren't. It was like some dude in a sock and a lady with patches on her, whatever, and it was go time. And then, you know, then they'd have like
Starting point is 00:26:14 these ridiculous scenes of like, what do you mean? You're lost. You'll be around. I've got a lot more than that. I was just walking by and I happen to have a boner. But right here, I got an extra one. You have our own? Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:26:32 What? Yeah, no, I got the job from a girl I went to college with who was like, she was like, I can't do this anymore. It's like soul crushing. And I was like, I'll do it. Soul crushing. I don't know any of that. How about entertaining?
Starting point is 00:26:42 Yeah. Kevin Neill and I did a bid on SNL, where we sat in chairs like we were porn stars, and we were, you know, like we were naked, you can't see, and we had people attending to our crotch. He was like, yeah, yeah, I powered up nice, yeah, trim it down. Yeah, make it nice for the people.
Starting point is 00:26:58 Yeah, put a little, put a little fence around it. I mean, we went nuts. I remember that one. You remember that one? I remember that one. Yeah. Whoa. I remember that one. You remember that one? You remember that one? Yeah. Wow. John knows SNL.
Starting point is 00:27:07 John is, I watched the monologue this morning where you were an ad guy. Of course, you knew you're gonna have to do an ad once. I was funny and Bill Hader, he kept saying no, ma'am. And then he goes, I'm not a ma'am. And then you go over here and do something. Then you come back to him. And then Andy Sandberg chips you up
Starting point is 00:27:26 But I thought that was funny that you're you can actually think of him on your own. No, that was that was funny I've done it. I've hosted three times as well We don't so we should talk to Lord if you want to have a three-timer club. We could do it It's fine, you know Everyone's got a Lord go ahead Sean which one of the 18 madman sketches were you sort of gravitating towards? Sean, you can pick one maybe two, three is too much. I just feel like maybe one after update, one maybe, maybe a commercial parody.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Was, uh, yeah, the three time, not as much play the three timers, you know. Three timers, don't get anything. One thing I'm curious about is we go into your SNL experience. It's like so, Madman comes out. It's only on like a year or a year and a half. I mean, so you get that, you're starting to feel you're riding this rock and your whole life's changing. And then you get the call. You weren't even on Madman that long.
Starting point is 00:28:22 That's my curiosity. Before Lauren, who loved it immediately, told me about it. You're on it now, you go, you're gonna host SNL. It just seemed like a rocket ship. Yeah, I remember when my agent said, they want you to host SNL. It was in New York City, it was at a Mac, back when they had magazine things.
Starting point is 00:28:44 Stan., magazine cover that I was on a party for it. And my girlfriend at the time and I were about to leave the country to go to this trip we had planned. I had been working all year. We were like, let me, we have to book this trip and it'll be great. And it was the week that they wanted me to host SNL. So I had to say no. And then we said, no, didn't know SNL. It's a convocation. That'll be the end of that. I guess I'll never get asked.
Starting point is 00:29:14 But at least I was asked, blah, blah, blah. And immediately came back, well, how about the following week? And okay, that sounds great. Like sure. And not having any idea of what it entailed, at all, other than knowing the show and knowing, you know, kind of some of the people
Starting point is 00:29:32 at that point, I knew I had met Amy and, and I met that circle. Yeah, that crowd, great one. So there were a couple people that I knew that had been there for some time. But yeah, it was it was a real it was a real eye opener to the first time to say the least. And that was also happened to be the episode that Amy Polar was wildly pregnant and then had her baby Saturday afternoon. So we had to completely re oh wow. Retooled the line lineup. And is it true that she found out during rehearsal that her doctor had died?
Starting point is 00:30:08 Yes. And then he calmed her down. I'm sure you've told that story. Well, you just say it. And then she laughed or asked off. Go ahead, tell us. I was sitting next to her. We were shooting a thing with Jimmy Senurelli.
Starting point is 00:30:18 Yeah. The late, not even was late, but the late great, so to speak. Film makers. We did all three retapes. Yeah. And we're sitting there in some weird office space in Midtown. And Amy is, you know, nine months pregnant. And I'm sitting there and it's like, it's a, it's a Don Draper. Here's how to like, here's how to pick up ladies.
Starting point is 00:30:40 Like, and be Don Draper. Like, okay. Yeah. And so it was really funny. Like, stop. Red Armasson is playing the guy. I was like, hey, maybe you want to go on a date? And I was like, get lost, weirdo.
Starting point is 00:30:52 And then I'm like, hey, how about it? And Polar's line is, let's get me out of this skirt. I want to have that career. Can I have that in time? I want that. So it was really funny, but we're sitting there in the makeup chairs. You know, they have the kind of temporary thing with the lights and the mirrors set up.
Starting point is 00:31:10 And I don't know really anybody, especially the makeup artist or the hair people or anybody of just okay, and kind of going along. And then polar gets a call and hello. Yeah. I can't, what? What? I mean, you're gonna be kidding me. And then immediately starts to get emotional and sob
Starting point is 00:31:34 and it stands up and walks kind of behind a thing. And I'm hearing, now I'm hearing like sobbing. Like, like. And I'm like, now I'm hearing like sobbing. Like, like. And I'm like, looking at the hair, the makeup person is like frozen. I'm like, do you, what? What's happened? And what do we do?
Starting point is 00:31:55 Like, do we do a go home? Like go on, what's happening? To a recast. So it's like, this is all takes place in about 35 seconds. And she comes back from around the little fake wall and has clearly been like crying and everyone's like, Amy, oh my God, I said, what's happening? She's like, you won't believe this.
Starting point is 00:32:15 I just found out my, my, my OBGYN who's been with me through this, this is her first child, been with me for this whole trip, he just died. God damn. No way, no way that this happened. And I was like, oh my God, Amy, that's terrible. But this is a really big thing for me. So can you pull your shit together like that?
Starting point is 00:32:38 No. And immediately it was like, like laughed, like cracked up. So I was like, thank God. I could have gone one two weeks. That glad it nicely. My question for you about Jim Signorale is, if this, you're shooting something on a Saturday which is during the week.
Starting point is 00:32:53 It was during the week. Okay, good. That was where you started, did not check out. Yeah, okay. Cause they got it. I don't think people at home don't realize when you do SNL, and if you're a host, you for sure probably don't get
Starting point is 00:33:05 Like the first night is kind of easy. You meet Lauren You go to money meeting and everyone kisses your ass and you're like this is a John Ham and then I want to politely applaud And they go next week Sharon's Don and I'm going to say yay And then you immediately feel like an exhaled the inside joke every week and then But then you kind of go to dinner to our showers, I don't know what you do, where you just leave. And then you go, this isn't too hard. And then Tuesday, you come in and it's writing day.
Starting point is 00:33:32 Wednesday is where it's, yeah. Yeah, Wednesday is the crazy day. Yeah, Tuesday's the right day. Tuesday's also dinner night and the host comes back after, yeah, and then writes and hangs out. And I think that's when, even when I went back to host twice, not three, that, which is really not giving parties
Starting point is 00:33:50 for the two timers, for sure. So I go and they go, and even knowing the drill, I'm in or so nervous going, I don't, I think I gotta get back there. Like I wanna get back there and just go over everything because I'm fucking starting to freak out that I'm not, because even Tuesday day, no one does anything.
Starting point is 00:34:08 And then no one's even written here, like guys, we have all this time we're wasting, but every time we try anything. Pizza is just hanging out wasting time, wasting time. The entire system is based on procrastination, coming from ADD. You can't really focus until there's a hard line. We gotta to go now. Yeah, that's so when you walk in there
Starting point is 00:34:30 Do you were you more okay? You did it three times What was your nerve rate coming into that office on Monday sitting there with all these sketch players? What were you we had a 10 were you or were you sort of naive like maybe this will be fun or what were you? Maybe it'll be fun It sure it's true you go maybe this will be fun and easy and then you can quickly turn you go god, well David's right though like there's nothing on Monday that is really if you haven't done it before that that suggests This is going to be terrible. Yeah, it's a bit But he's like calm and relaxed and they're pitching ideas that'll never make it the first time
Starting point is 00:35:08 The first time I I came in and we had the meeting on Monday the writers all came in dressed in 60s gear. Oh really? That's cool. Everyone from Paul Appell to John Malini to Colin every everybody was like Yeah, a while. I never had them do that. Lutz was dressed up like Joan. Like it was, it was amazing. Like they all just raided the costume department and came in like that.
Starting point is 00:35:35 So they're in all of you at this point. Which is nice. And well, they would love to be able to, comedians want to be able to do it. Would you do, you do comedy and that. But yeah, we kind of respect actors. So it was, it was, you know, there's nothing to suggest like, oh, this is going to be terrifying. Until Wednesday, when you have a packet of, you know, 25 sketches that you have to read
Starting point is 00:35:58 at that table and try to get laughs and you've seen them for exactly, you know, maybe an hour or two to kind of go through. But you can't, I'm sure you don't even get to all of them. There's no way. No, there's no way. I mean, it's like, you know, it's a phone book size. And writers come in just to tell the crowd. Can you do a thing where you, we do a voice and it sounds kind of like the, okay, you get to do that. Right. Yeah. Which one is this? I'm sorry. What? Right. And then you're kind of rushing in this one, but not Ukrainian. Just play that a little bit bit and then you're like, yeah, okay You don't have to sound exactly like an elephant, but just do whatever you can
Starting point is 00:36:31 Right your head spinning going and then Lauren's like every five six seconds for about an hour until you go in that packed room with a low ceiling And everyone waits for Lauren and then he comes in and regally starts the read through. And it's like four hours of cold reading, essentially. Cold reading. Yeah. Solid BO, like off the charts. Everyone and there's sweating and grossed out and there's no venteless.
Starting point is 00:36:54 Someone goes crack, Lauren will go crack the window and then someone reaches back, I got it, Lauren. Something that would be me usually, I got it. Faith, faith in David is a waiter in an Italian restaurant David goes to the table David pushed down the water I wrote this stupid one for Farley when we had no ideas I wrote goo goo in the honey pot and where he was a so stupid but it was like an eight-foot honey pot And then he he gets in there and he's stuck in honey in a diaper
Starting point is 00:37:21 And he keeps crawling out and he's covered in honey and he goes, Googoo, were you in the honey pot? He goes, no, I saw you in this area. But he's covered. For Farley. Yeah, and he goes, David, you think we can do it? I go, it's just stupid enough, it might work. So I hand it in, knowing I'm light that week.
Starting point is 00:37:36 And then Lauren gets through and he goes, Googoo in the honey pot. And then he turns the whole sketch over and goes, Wayne's world cold opening. I go, oh, he skipped it. I never heard of it. He skipped it. I heard of.
Starting point is 00:37:52 He didn't skip when I did funny little poopy head. And I, he shut up. I did funny little poopy head with Jan Hope. She was Mrs. funny little poopy head. And I had massive stage direction. Where Lauren had to say funny little poopy head. Over and over again. And with his boy funnily poopy head over and over again. And with his boy, funny little poopy head is shabby.
Starting point is 00:38:09 Funny little poopy head shits down. It's like that thing that funny little poopy head, you know, but he bailed on your sketch because that's how it's funny to me. With farly. And he never mentioned it. I know Farley would have crushed it. I think Sam. I think Samler later wrote one.
Starting point is 00:38:24 It's like not even writing. And that one isn't even really writing either, but I think he wrote one, it's not even writing. That one he's really writing either, but I think he put one where it's a film piece for Sinyrelay where he's in a pool and he just puts all the suns and oil on and then he just tries to get on the raft for about four minutes. And he's going, oh God, which we've gone to that well before,
Starting point is 00:38:43 but it seemed to work. Never done funny with Farley. Yeah, and then I think that one even got like at least red. Lord, and then this sketch is like one paragraph. And then Farley struggles and screams for 45 minutes. And then Farley fall down. Farley had done as he used to go, Hey, Farley, you got Farley fall,
Starting point is 00:39:04 Farley falls down anything else in the tank anything else for any other moves take get rid of it just lay waste all the junior varsity you know at sandler they're not buying the cookie guy okay spain wait till carving leaves because David would sit behind me and Lauren would go uh David's ready at any time, well, you're not. But back to our guest, something that I love that I, I love this. Yes. I love Bill Hader and love his Vincent Price.
Starting point is 00:39:40 And then you came in and did James Mason and you must have loved that because you did it great and you every line Killed with James Mason that first of all that that sketch is so talk about so weird and specific It crushed like a sketch should not kill that hard when it's that especially a sketch about it like a we Relatively obscure 50s 60ss. Totally, very obscure, the young audience. Tell me, Dan, I didn't see it. Clearly nobody knows who Vincent Price is. It's just a funny character.
Starting point is 00:40:12 He's got a fake bird and it's all black and white. And he's like, I don't even know if he's really trying to do a really accurate, but it's just a funny, hello, I'm Vincent Price. Yeah, it's just kind of just off-putting. And then Fred Armason is Liberace is. Yeah, just, I and Fred could all do all that all day, very musical.
Starting point is 00:40:30 And then it's like a TV show and it's going badly and he's getting frustrated. The whole trope of like, you know, bringing in special again. I mean, now we have our special guest. Yes, isn't this a great show? Good morning, it's Hanson. Again, like no one knows. One has any sense of who that is,
Starting point is 00:40:49 except that she's weird. But it's got a lot of views. I think those get passed around. I had to, we did that for dress, and it was Dean Martin at dress. And it kind of fell flat, I guess, my Dean Martin wasn't very good. It's so nice.
Starting point is 00:41:08 But also Lauren was like, well, here's the problem. It's a drunk, playing a drunk, and it's a hat on a hat. A hat on a hat. Hat on a hat, that's very long. That's a big one. What else can you do? Right then? Really?
Starting point is 00:41:22 It's like 10, 30 on Saturday night. Oh my gosh, the night shows on in 45 minutes Yeah, come up with another obscure impression that will make sense and you can you can get it 10 out of 10 on it nearly nail it Uh, and so Hayter comes in my dressing room, and he's like, uh, hey man. Yeah, I don't know I said I said this is gonna sound weird. I said I can kind of do a James Mason. He goes, no way, no way, do it. And I was like, perfect. I don't know, I don't know. And we, and he goes, perfect, that's it.
Starting point is 00:41:53 That's done. And I think he and Melania had written the sketch the other side, I can't remember who wrote it with him. But then we did that. Like, and again, it was, that was it, like, yeah, 1045. So, you know, we're all up in Lauren's office. Like, so, John's gonna do, is it James Mason? Okay, John's gonna, that's gonna change
Starting point is 00:42:10 from Dean Martin to James. So get out on the cards. None of the lines changed. There's no lines, John. There's always, there's an alcoholic, right? He was drunk and lascivious. It was just funny, you know, sexually inappropriate. Yeah, I was just hysterical.
Starting point is 00:42:24 But that is, that's impressive. That was like a dirt zone. That was because we, me and Paul Rudd growing up, would we love the movie, Heaven Can Wait. And James Mason plays the, the, the, the angel who kind of shepherds were in Bates, you know, journey, whatever it was. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:43 But his line is you did Joe. You, you, you, and so that. Yeah. But his line is, you did Joe. You did. And so that's what we would always say to each other, if we had a brand new idea. Charles Grownen and Diane Cannon. Diane Cannon. The whole freaking thing. The whole freaking thing.
Starting point is 00:42:56 The whole freaking thing. The whole freaking thing. The whole freaking thing. The whole freaking thing. The whole freaking thing. The whole freaking thing. The whole freaking thing. Jack Warden.
Starting point is 00:43:04 Jack Warden. Oh yeah. Hey, Max, you know. So that was, has one of the best lines in all of cinema, I think in a little movie called shampoo. Oh, Wait, man, I saw it a month ago with my wife because we see it every year. The movie so long is the line is The line is not that's what I call fucking So he he catches Warren, baby He doesn't realize it's Warren Bady fucking his own girlfriend. He's like very crusty, but he sees him through a doorway. And he goes, that's right. He's got, so you're a Warren Bady, 70s Warren Bady,
Starting point is 00:43:35 you know, shampoo, having connoisse, the parallax view. There's nothing better. Like I relax view. Wow. I've gotten to hang out with him on quite a few occasions He's a great guy such a coming the stories are you can't have a dinner that's less than three hours of him I hung out with him once. Yeah, it's very he's very bright see if I can find that. Yep. There it is. Oh Oh
Starting point is 00:44:01 So what what year was that? Were you? He was probably 2016. He did show to picture everybody. Did he reach out to you or how do you guys have dinner or did Mitchell? He was a fan of the show. Oh, yeah, he would have loved that show because that's cold calls. Kinda, yeah, sometimes.
Starting point is 00:44:19 Sometimes, yeah. And then he, he and a net had some friends that, like one of them was a guy named Bill Pope who was the director of photography for Baby Driver. So I think that was probably around the top. Baby Driver, let's not forget. Baby Driver. I think that, yeah, that makes sense because he was probably 30 or something when 1960 hit
Starting point is 00:44:40 and that, the end of that era of, you you know slapping them on the bottom and all that free pre-feminism. Yeah, I mean you know his first movie was like barefoot in the park maybe or was that never read for the camera? That was referred. It was 58. But didn't you do the play? He might have, yeah he might have.
Starting point is 00:44:58 He did work shoes in the park. Huge read for fan. I got, I tried to convince my sons who are with me up here. Oh he's a fucking stupor. Oh he's a fucking stupor. So watch three days my sons who are with me up here. Oh, he's a fucking so watch us three days of the condor with me. Oh, we watch woodcasts in the Sundance kid and they loved it. Yeah. Oh, yeah, the sting. I was about to say shit. All the presidents, men don't give me started the horse whisper whatever he's amazing, but the electric horsemen I think you mean.
Starting point is 00:45:29 The horse whisperer. The horse was fond of. He had the electric horsemen and then the horse whisperer later in 1998. Yeah. Do you have any parts that they came to you and you had to pass up on that you didn't do that you would like to? I couldn't, other than me and grown-ups, other than my partner grown-ups.
Starting point is 00:45:48 I like you so much. I've had pretty good luck, honestly, of the things that I've turned down and not been able to do have not come back to kind of haunt me or anything like that. I was sort of loosely attached to Gone Girl. At one point, there was a meant to be a situation. And then it was because Mad Men was shooting.
Starting point is 00:46:08 I was like, okay, I can't do it. That's the way that goes. But I really liked that book and the guys from St. Louis. And they did a good job with it. Yeah, it's been a great job. I'm in a lot of love. And it's great.
Starting point is 00:46:21 But I haven't had very many of those. Those are a few and far between, which is nice. You haven't had very many of those. Those are like a few in far between, which is, which is nice. Like, you don't, I don't have a lot of like, you've done me. But yeah, like you said, grownups, that was, that was, when you said no to grownups. No, but you, now when you get involved with something like curb your enthusiasm, is that something because you know Larry or he just likes you and says, Hey, do you want to come on beat pop, boop, pop, pop? I had done a weird little movie with Larry.
Starting point is 00:46:49 That was for HBO, I think, called Clear History, where he invents a car. It's a very convoluted setup, like most of his setups. Yeah. And he invents this car and it goes sideways and he forgets about a lot of the natural that owns the car company like you know Elon Musk or whatever and We had a really good time. We shot it in Boston and with Greg Matola and had a great time doing it and Made each other laugh so much. We had so many great people in that film too and Michael Keaton at Hader Jimmy Tingle, I mean, like all these Boston comics. Jimmy Tingle. What a great name, you know, stand up. Yeah. We had all these like Boston comics that were, that were popping
Starting point is 00:47:33 around coming in and out. And it was really fun and funny. And, and, and we got to know each other a little bit and played a little golf in Boston. And, and ever since then, he's kind of kept me in mind for stuff and I've been able to do the show a couple of times. His name's always really fun. Yeah, that's cool. He's kind of a genius, I guess. I don't know where he had something.
Starting point is 00:47:54 He had something that's not free. It's all his own. I've been watching a lot of old Seinfelds too, which hold up so remarkably well, other than kind of the fashion, which stands out a bit. But the jokes and the stories, and you can so clearly hear Larry's voice in George Cassanza, not only that, but just in the stories, like the setups and the particular kind of annoyances of, you know, the one that was on last night was the parking garage where they just get stuck in the parking garage
Starting point is 00:48:26 for the entirety of the episode. Yeah, it's those little observations, little stand-up observations, but extenuated and just shot well, or there's a liveliness to them. I mean, Larry, when I was watching your episode last night, the two Larry day, it feels like he's not breaking, but he's enjoying it so much.
Starting point is 00:48:43 He's kind of smiling a lot in a lot of his lines. Even more like that. Yeah, that too on Seinfeld. You could see it. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And Adam and his early films had a little bit. It brings a lot of charm to that.
Starting point is 00:48:55 Because I'm a joy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's funny. You know, it's funny. It's funny. You know, John, did you have this experience? So I did a curb where where They I guess this is how they do it. They have a loose script. Yeah, which with this was the fun for me
Starting point is 00:49:12 I don't improv a lot. I mean in these movies we do a couple things but a whole scene where they go here leaving the LA you're leaving a Lakers game you run in a Larry and they go you Are going to defend yourself with whatever he's gonna say in a Larry and they go, you are going to defend yourself with whatever he's going to say to you. And then they go over to him and they talk to him and I go, what's he going to do? They go, you'll find out. So that's all we got. And then we meet with the crowd and then we both have a friend with us and then he
Starting point is 00:49:39 starts going after me about something and I start defending myself. And then we cut and then we go back and they go, now brag about what you're doing. And then they go, and then he's going to do something else. And it was so fun because you got to be on your fucking toes. And he's great. And everyone's everyone in the scene is always good because they're going to hire everyone good. Is it like that kind of? That's that's pretty much it. I mean, the last, you know, the last one I did was with Albert Brooks and Laura Kightlinger and JB and everybody at that point kind of
Starting point is 00:50:09 knows what they're doing on that set. And you just kind of, it's not unlike SNL. You just want to try to stay out of the way and understand that the process is going to be the process and it's going to work and you can contribute where you can. And that was my, I was able to do that and pitch ideas and say, going to be the process and it's going to work and you can contribute where you can. And that was my, you know, I was able to do that and pitch ideas and say, like, what are you know, this or what if I'm that?
Starting point is 00:50:31 And so what kind of ideas would you pitch and where they, would I had that my idea for this last one was that that my character, I'm about the least Jewish person in the universe, like I'm a Roman conflict from St. Louis and Jerry. Luthhräum. I said like, you know, what if I, what if I'm just like, understand like I'm trying to like pepper my conversation with like Jewish phrases and words and you know, but I get them wrong or I'm almost right with them or and they thought that was a pretty funny and they don't write it. It rubs them wrong a little bit.
Starting point is 00:51:04 And kind of like, what do you, that's not what you want to say? Like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But delivered with like the ultimate confidence, like most, you know, that thing in L.A. of people that do 100% wrong, but saying it out loud and proud.
Starting point is 00:51:17 My life, that's my whole life. I know, it's amazing. People have no information. Yeah. Yeah, fake it till you make it. What's the one thing of the Madman? What are the couple of things that people stop you and they know you from?
Starting point is 00:51:32 What's the easiest stuff? Oh, the fucking town guy. It's great movie. I love the town. I get that in Boston and I get that in airports. The TSA love the town. Yeah. The TSA loved the town. Yeah. The TSA loved it.
Starting point is 00:51:47 Yeah, I see the town and that's one when it comes on and that's one of my movies is on. If it comes on, I watch the whole thing and let's Ben Chormers is on. And so the town is such a badass movie and I love it's all Boston, it's all fucking weird. Not weird, it's just cool. It was a really fun one to make. Cool. Like we were all kind of everybody was, you know,
Starting point is 00:52:09 Renner was just coming off of Hurt Locker and Rebecca Hall had, I think she was an Iron Man or something like everybody was kind of coming off their own thing. It was Ben's second director or effort and his first one was so good gone baby gone. Yeah. So it was really kind of fun and exciting and Warner Brothers left us alone. Really? Yeah. And it was great. It was like this weird, perfect storm,
Starting point is 00:52:35 the other guys in the crew with Ben and Jeremy were these kind of local guys that were just kind of scary enough to be believably, you know, kind of low level criminals. And yeah, sure. It was fun, you know, it was just fun. We got really, really lucky. We got to shoot in Boston in the fall
Starting point is 00:52:53 and it didn't snow or rain or any of that stuff. We got to bang around Fenway Park, you know. Yeah, it seemed like you had run of the town. How has Ben, Ben as a director? Like how did he? I mean, he's great. And I fell for him. Obviously, it's like that's the hardest job on the set,
Starting point is 00:53:12 especially when you're also the lead of the film. And yeah, and he's also in Boston, like everywhere he goes, he is. Yeah. And he's a, he's a big dude. Like he's got six, four, six, five. He's a tall guy. He's not like, he's not hiding in plain sight right
Starting point is 00:53:27 So everywhere go bad. Hey, he's Jesus, you know, yeah, what's going on guy? Yeah, give me a fucking hug to a good for us and I get his mother ladies in gentlemen. I got it God damn it. But yeah, so it was obviously it was he had a lot on his plate, but he he pulled it off and he did the smart thing, which I think the lesson to be learned from that is is like he hired amazing department heads like our our direct photographers is guy Robert Ellswood. Yeah, that's a big blood among other things.
Starting point is 00:54:04 And you know, one is fair share of hardware and He had really really talented camera operators and art department people and stuff guys and second unit It was but you guys seem to like block off chunks of the city and get to drive all over and do everything is fucking It's fun on a movie like you run the whole town. whole town it's great yeah especially and especially that guy in that town yeah sure you know doing with me in Scottsdale let's see what's going on yeah and all see what's up yeah we shoot in the afternoons we shoot it does for one hour it's a sunburned slash burn I always watch movies to see how many nights they shoot to see how much complaining I would be doing
Starting point is 00:54:52 Like really fucking nights, man. I why do you want say anything? What if it's vampires? I could never but They are the daytime. Yeah, the daytime Don't drink blood ruins the whole movie. I don't care. I'm like it's easier to shoot Do you have a do you have a wish list of like if you got a script across your desk like I mean you like to do something way way comedic or Or you know like I've been told by a prosthetic makeup artist that Everyone wants rubber on their face ever since ever since church Hill With one the Oscar. Sorry one of my favorites. Gary Oldman. Gary Oldman, yeah. So now everyone wants some prosthetics,
Starting point is 00:55:28 because that's how you get at least a nomination. Like for you, a high John Ham. Yeah. You know what I mean? It would be kind of interesting. I hate sitting in the makeup chair. Like, I cannot stand it. And, uh,
Starting point is 00:55:40 I gotta go to the chair. Yeah, there goes my Oscar, but, I've had a ball of cap. Let's be honest, it wasn't happening anyway. Did you wear a bald cap on SNL? We're jumping around. Oh, yeah, for sure. Oh, it's popping wigs on and on top of it.
Starting point is 00:55:53 So the one of your own hair is always like a little wrong. And you're exactly like this. This is me and my own hair in the monologue and you still got a bald cap on and when they get stuck. Exactly. Yeah. But at least I'm now sweating from my dome of my head all the way down as wet. Yeah. No, I didn't.
Starting point is 00:56:12 You know, the fun thing for me would have been to be a part of the Star Wars stuff. But that's, I think that chip is sailed because I was such a huge Star Wars fan back when I was little. That's, I think that ship is sailed because I was such a huge Star Wars fan back when I was little. And I remember being in third grade or something and Star Wars coming out. And it starts with the big crawl, right? And it's episode four. And you're like episode four.
Starting point is 00:56:37 Like what did I miss? Yeah. What did I miss? There were three episodes that just didn't exist. It's so weird they started like that. And yeah, a new hope episode four. And so then the rumor mill started among the third graders. I was like, well, you know, there's nine of these.
Starting point is 00:56:53 There's meant to be nine of them. We read it in like Fangorium magazine or something. And like, you thought, wow, nine more Star Wars? That's gonna be amazing. And they're not meant to be completed until 2019, which back then was about 40 years later. You're like, what? I gotta wait 40 years for these, like no way.
Starting point is 00:57:13 They go in two are gonna be good, so you don't know which two. Did you literally at your age, you might have had Star Wars little figures? Oh, I had figurines, I had a poster, I had sheets, I had the whole deal. It was it was a big part of my life. So I had the little Darth Vader shaped case that you kept you little guys in. Yeah, so anyway, but yeah, I didn't I never got the call for that one, but
Starting point is 00:57:39 well, I don't know. It's actually, you know, I we just shot the Fletch, which we're rebuying. Oh, yeah, I knew you would Fletch. Whoa. Oh, I love it. That was pretty exciting. We were going to ask you about Fletch. We were going to ask you about Fletch. We were going to ask you about Fletch.
Starting point is 00:57:55 We were going to ask you about Fletch. We were going to ask you about Fletch. We were going to ask you about Fletch. We were going to ask you about Fletch. We were going to ask you about Fletch. We were going to ask you about Fletch. We were going to ask you about Fletch. We were going to ask you about Fletch.
Starting point is 00:58:03 We were going to ask you about Fletch. We were going to ask you about Fletch. We were going to ask you about Fletch. We were going to ask you about Fletch. We were going to ask you about Fletch. We were going to ask you about Fletch. How did you, I mean, obviously you've been asked this question, but like, how did you evolve it for to match, you know, John Ham? Did you know part of it was, you know, obviously I looked at it kind of like and Greg Matola who I worked with on this We both kind of were like it's kind of like a cover song, right? It's a cover version of a song if you already have Hey Jude, yeah, so why would you do it just like, hey, Jude? Like maybe, maybe mix it up a little bit. And so we were very cognizant of not doing Chevy and not doing, you know, teeth and wigs
Starting point is 00:58:36 and this is a Nats and we wanted to, we wanted to still make it funny, but we wanted to keep it more in line with the tone of the novel, which is almost more of like a who done it.it, and he's still a wise-ass, and he still gets himself into trouble and has to talk his way out. It's still funny, and it's so judgeful. It seems really, really fun to play.
Starting point is 00:58:54 It was, it was super funny, and it was John Slattery's in it with me, and you're a man, you're a former bandmate. You guys have a lot of chemistry. We got the band back together in some way. So we had a great time. The good news about it is like there's nine more books. So if we are able to sell it to some streamer, we can probably make some more, but it was a blast.
Starting point is 00:59:18 That was another character in my youth where we all fell off like a new. Oh yeah, huge movie. And it was great. I enjoyed that. Did you do characters in it where you're undercover like fucking a huge movie and enjoy that. Did you do characters in it where you're undercover like with a mustache or something? Do you do any of that or we didn't we kind of shied away from that. We thought that that was a real good way to get in trouble and trouble with whoever
Starting point is 00:59:36 comedy police suit by check. But it's suit by Chevy. It's fun to be the guy talking your way out of something and it looks aligned basically the act as a actor the actor. It's really fun. That's hard to do. That's not my car, that kind of stuff. Yeah, oh no. I just came by to say hello and if you,
Starting point is 00:59:52 we got it, I got, we had, another part that was really fun for me because I don't really get a chance to do this a lot was like developing the script and then having like the zooms like this, but with comedy writers and having everybody pitching ideas and thoughts. And we had like murderers row, we had Paul Appell, we had Bill Hader, we had so many great Robert Carlock,
Starting point is 01:00:13 we had so many great minds that were kind of throwing out ideas. And one of the best ones was, and I won't ruin it, but it's basically the end of the movie that Bill Hader came up with. I was like, he's like, I never seen this, but what if you do this and he explained it to me. That's a great idea and we immediately stole it and put it in the movie. What was it? He can't tell you.
Starting point is 01:00:33 Oh, yeah. Tell us. Let's guess. Okay, I'm being Bill Hader. All right. What if like, all right, in the end of the movie, right, you go, hey, you wake up. You wake up, right? You wake up, right? I'm doing'm doing hide on the where I am.
Starting point is 01:00:46 You say it's an medium, medium, medium. It's a medium. Yeah. There's some. One thing that you need about Bill, he's so brilliant. And a lot of times comedians aren't an audience, but man does he laugh. He laughs, he's a good laugh for everybody. Everybody.
Starting point is 01:01:04 Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's are so important in comedy. People forget. Now that's a must see, we can look for that in 2020. Hopefully by the end of the year, I think who knows anymore what movies are. I shot Top Gun 2, two and a half years ago. That's been sitting in a canch, ever. Although it looks like it's coming out in.
Starting point is 01:01:23 It's coming out. The truth never. The truth gets released when cruise is ready. Yeah. It's possible. Tell me why he comes out. It comes out. I love. I love anyone hang from an airplane, go to the space station. Just. Yeah. He's running out of crazy stunts. He's like, I get sucked into the jet engine.
Starting point is 01:01:40 And then pieces that me come out. We sell them as NFTs. They're like, well, I don't know. That was not what an NFTs is, Tom. It's called Not For Tom. He's swallowed by a whale. No, he's actually going to the space station, but did you get in a jet on that one or are you right around? I didn't want to get in on a jet.
Starting point is 01:01:58 I play the Maverick. Damn it Maverick, exactly. You go for it, check for Body King of Cash. People ask us like how do you have a movie career in one way is just having franchises that just sort of make movies so I'm not big big you know you can't forget for he's got got richer richer got that am I possible keep doing top
Starting point is 01:02:21 guns the suit fits the helmet amazing is amazing so you so top gun you shot before Corona was invented and then before Corona was perfected. Yes, it's getting better first of all Corona. I got all my crown right now. I'm feeling good. I know today. I like I'm a cron. It's been gone not gone, but it's slowed down a hair And then the war started the next day you're like give us one fucking second give us a breath one One good day. Yeah one good day. We don't have to worry about long They're gonna be like you have to wear a mask now because the war I'm like wait
Starting point is 01:02:56 Why they're like don't ask questions this is Dr. Fauci There's a mask and there's a war and you got to wear I'll explain later You know there's gonna be a lot more variance So don't get cocky put your fucking mask in getting your house and stare at the ceiling Tony Fauci go fuck yourself Good news is there's only 24 letters in the Greek alphabet, so you know somehow we Run out we got it in the 18 years. Yeah, we're getting one from Hawaii. It's called the pineapple Express Exactly years. Yeah, we're getting one from Hawaii. It's called the pineapple express. Yeah. It's called the Lulu. Yeah, exactly. Lulu to serve with love. So John was, I have one question. I know we got to let John go. Somebody's got to go
Starting point is 01:03:33 to the airport. A lot of the female fans asked if you would wear sweatpants to the airport. I don't even understand that question. I tend to dress up for the airport. Thank you very much. I think it's a big grandmother taught me to wear a nice clothing to the airport. It's a big weener question I think that's what they're getting. I like it. You were we're about to say Ram bam. Thank you ham to this guy. I was waiting for that one. I stole it from your monologue Yeah, well, thank you ham. That was exactly the same one. Yeah, that was you said you could they call it to the hammer or hammer time or some spader What is that that skateboard deck behind you? John, finally someone fucking asked me the tough questions.
Starting point is 01:04:11 Dana doesn't care. This is, What about that? This is how I paint. That's like what I do. Go ahead. This is, there's an artist Richard Prince,
Starting point is 01:04:20 and this is a skateboard deck. So I used to skate. I still milk it out. I'm not any good. But my brother gave me that because he's big in the art and But I didn't know what to put in the background. John's like, oh, I have louvers. I want everyone to know I have a skateboard deck. Oh, you know Tony Hawk somewhere in here. I think I'm gonna go Tony Hawk the best one Dana's one the best skater. So you got you're going to Switzerland. We've never had someone on the podcast who was leaving to Switzerland.
Starting point is 01:04:46 You skipped the fact that Tony Hawk was my stunt double and police academy four. Wasn't Dana? Skate double. And he was about six, 10. Okay, and we say he's a little. And he rides goofy. No, I ride goofy.
Starting point is 01:04:59 He rides regular. I ride goofy. Yeah, John, we could tear it up. Fucking Melrose. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. It's going to Belmont. William Morris drops you and then you become John Ham.
Starting point is 01:05:09 Do you ever run into those guys and you get up in their face a little bit or... Oh, highway, amorous. Remember me? Yeah. Don't you think there should always be one person working for WME, his name is William Morris? Yeah, I do. So that you could go and be like, you're the guy.
Starting point is 01:05:26 You're the guy. The origin of this whole. She's literally like some schmuck in the mail room. Like, what? I didn't even want to work here. They just made me. I went over there when they started with Endeavor. When they started, that's a old AM.
Starting point is 01:05:40 And then they merged. This is, yeah. I'm boring in the audience again. Okay, let's. People, you know what people love to talk about This is, yeah. I'm boring in the audience again. Okay, let's, you know what people love to talk about? Yeah, like, agencies. Ha ha. Well, they love to talk about people who doubted you,
Starting point is 01:05:52 then you made it, and then you shit all over them. They like that revenge of the, hey, William Morris. You, you were in a superboat commercial, but set the road and it went with your precious Paul Rudd. Were you jealous that you weren't the other guy, and it went with your precious Paul Rudd. Were you jealous that you weren't the other guy? And it wasn't you and Paul Rudd? I you know, I think that Yes, the short answer is yes
Starting point is 01:06:14 That's the right answer and Knowing probably of when the ballpark will be paid for that. I'm really jealous, but yeah, you know, I think that that you know ballpark really got paid for that. I'm really jealous. But yeah, you know, I think that the fun thing about commercials now is that no one gives a shit. It doesn't. 15, 20 years ago, like, just dropped.
Starting point is 01:06:33 Who need it an ad and Brad Pitt didn't add everyone. I thought the world was ending. Yeah. Well, we're allowed to do that now. Like, cool. You could also do them over in Europe and they didn't know about it. But now, like Mel Gibson selling the internet Japanese whiskey or something. Yeah, you could do it You could do commercials. There's no good
Starting point is 01:06:49 Life streaming and movies everything is just when I started only fans everyone's all right Well, let's let John go. He's got a flight isn't it only fan? Oh No mind is pretty well. I do pretty well. Half a million a month. Yeah. Gross though. Look at Dana, I'm rich.
Starting point is 01:07:09 I have stairs. Oh, people can't see his house. Anna, Anna, dark room under the stairs. I know, where are you? And what if my wife came out of there with handcuffs on? Yeah, that's just, this is the- Is there a hairy potter? Is there a lovely bones?
Starting point is 01:07:22 This house was built in 1912 and yes, it has ghosts and they visit all the time. Yeah, I bet you and are you in the San Francisco area? Yeah, yeah, in Northern California. Russian Hill, Redwood trees and stuff with the exact same heights. Yeah, just my wife grew up here in this town. So just have a house here. I got to go to the the the the Lucas ranch over in the past. Oh my god.
Starting point is 01:07:46 Yeah. That was pretty neat. That was pretty neat. As as close as I got to being on on Star Wars, it was, well guess what? I kind of know. I'm on the stuff. I was going to keep keep your phone close because you should
Starting point is 01:07:57 definitely be in a Star Wars movie if you want to. I'm going to keep making them. Oh no, they had to take a break because they got greedy and did one every three months and everyone needed. We need two or three them. Oh no, they had to take a break because they got greedy and did one every three months and everyone needed, we need two or three years. Oh yeah, the... Did you go to the cannel where they keep the baby chewbacca's? All right, I'm on a joke, so I gotta go.
Starting point is 01:08:15 First comes the joke. Then comes the laughter. Got the comments failure. First try joke. Joke not work. Try dude. Then comes comes on employees is no job of events puppets is no try only have I can I don't want to get blue anyway I'm gonna sing a lot we always close off with a song thank you no we
Starting point is 01:08:38 I it's me man I would have gone with it it It's raining madman. Well, we got to thank John for being super cool. And whenever I see you out, you're always nice. It's fun to talk to you. It's always good to laugh. It's a great pleasure. And thank you for having me. Thanks for coming on. We're, you know, we're not smart lists. We're clueless and listen. There are nemesis. No, we admire them. I'm using their microphone to record your podcast. Is that true? There you go. Ah! We're not smartless, we're clueless.
Starting point is 01:09:07 But, anyway, this is fun and so fun to meet you. It's a real thrill. Well, we'll see you down the line as they say if I make it back from Europe, but in peace. Good luck. Other than that? Next time, yeah, honest and out. Let's go on and do a guest spot at least or something.
Starting point is 01:09:22 Be in the cold opening. See you at the 50th, as they say. Oh, that's right. Dan, I'll get you a ticket. All right, we gotta go. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Flying the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes.
Starting point is 01:09:45 Executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corqurin of Cadence 13 and Charlie Feynman of Brillstein Entertainment, production and engineering led by Greg Holtzman, Richard Cook, Serena Regan, and Chris Basel of Cadence 13. you

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