Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Nick Swardson

Episode Date: July 17, 2024

Norm Macdonald, Benchwarmers, and edibles in altitude with Nick Swardson. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Bucky Larson. Bucky Larson. I'm trying to think of the other ones. He's in pretty much all of them peppered throughout. Also Reno 911. He played Terry the ice skating crazy character. No, Terry the roller skating.

What'd I say? Roller skating on Reno 911. I want to crack up. He can go to Comic Con's rest of his life just over that one. So very lovable guy, very funny. He's got a new special on the tour. He loves starting it live, grew up on all of us and wanted to talk to us. And we like talking to him.

You had fun, Dana. He's just one of those exceptionally likeable, real people. He's been, um, just incredibly funny and everything he's in for the last 25 years. So it's fun to catch up with him and talk to him and he's going to be out on a tour next year called toilet head, Nick Larson, not sorry, Nick Swartzen, I was thinking Bucky Larson. Nick Swartzen in Toilet Head coming to a theater near you next year and his special is called Tell Joke From Face? I think so, yeah.

On YouTube and that's gonna be out soon as well. We hassle him about that, very quick on his feet, always has been. Enjoy Nick Schwartz. I was just going over seriously who farted, toilet head and certain other things. I want to get with the program. I don't want to be left out. Looking at him, he does all, he does church slating and all that.

He's afraid of anal material, bottom some feces. I'll let you guys talk. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not allergic to diarrhea. I'm not allergic to diarrhea. That was that a special or is that what a burn? That's going to be on my tombstone. Weird guy, but definitely wasn't allergic to diarrhea. Anyway, we introduce you later. We record your intro. So that's why we're just start talking. Some people go, do we have a start point?

Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, this is it. And you've been doing great. You're doing great, sweetie. David, you look really good. You look like a muppet that was dipped in diarrhea.

Good Lord. Welcome to it, Dana. This is my life. I hang out with this guy. It's hysterical. You guys let's get down to business and talk politics. Yeah, let's make my country hate us. My manager is Rob Schneider. He really cues me in on what's up to date. They're poisoning, poisoning our water. I remember when we were

on tour with, uh, I don't know, Spade, if you remember this, we were, um, I believe we were in Dallas and Sandler got sick and we had a big show in New Orleans the next day and, uh, he had like a really bad like sinus infection. So I was like, Oh, you should get a B12 and a cortisone shot. And Rob goes, no, no green tea. No, it needs green tea. And I'm like, no, he has an infection. I go, I've seen this before. Like he needs like science. And I was like, no, no, no. Yeah.

Listen, I went to the university of Tik TOK. I know more than Rob. I, I remember, yeah, we were waiting like in the Dallas, like lobby for everyone to bring their bags down to go to the next city on this middle of like the nine day tour and they're like, Adam's still not feeling good. He's not coming down. And we're like, oh wait, and Rock's like, I'm going to walk around. So we're all sitting there.

We don't know what to do. And Nick suggests B12. Like typically, you know, you get the doctor to come over and they give you a little Pink Floyd shot, you know, when no one's looking and you're like, do do do, I'm John Bonet now. Let's do this. And they kind of jack you up a little bit and you get through the show.

But we had that all set up and the doctor goes up and then Rob ran up there after him. We're like, Rob, do not. And he goes, that was a close one. He almost fixed them. He almost got the show going again. Now I said, this is a process. You squeeze a lemon, you take some magnesium.

We were like, oh my God, cancel the show. I had a guy who was obsessed with pomegranates. Pomegranates, man. It's literally for everything. It's a miracle. It's a miracle vegetable or whatever, pomegranates. Pomegranates. I mean, I subscribed to that stuff,

but it's like at a certain point, like Adam was really sick. It's like, you know, a cortisone B12 shot would have fixed him immediately. Or at least we could have done the show. We had to cancel the show. Like green tea, like if you get, if you get shot by a gun, you're not going to pour green tea on your wound. Well, yeah, he needed an IV. He needed water.

You need hydration. You need a smear of pomegranate. Something that can kill bacteria. Yeah. You need the pomegranate butt plug. Yeah. Or just... Pomegranate's a funny word, isn't it?

Yeah. Was Norm on that one? Norm was not on the Dallas one. No. Norm was on an earlier one and Norm was fun, most fun and probably a group chat because we have a chat of everyone just ragging on each other. Yeah. No, I'm always confused about everything. Yeah. What? What do you mean? What is it? Was it breakfast? Like, yeah, it's called breakfast.

Just everything confusing. Yeah. Intentionally always doing a bit, like every moment. It was just so funny. Like, what are we doing here? Is this called zoom? Is that what they call it? Zoom? Yeah.

Why do they call it zoom? Where are we going? I mean, I'm still in my chair. It's not going very fast. Why are we going to zoom? We're doing a show in space? In space? What's going to Zoom? We're doing a show in space? In space? What's going on here?

One time, Nick, we were on the same floor, you know, usually, and Norm, I think I told this to Dana, but after the show, of course, the show turns into like, we get there early, then we hang out in Adam's dressing room, which is like a palace. And then we go, we do the show and it ends late. And then they find some restaurant that'll take us idiots to eat steak at midnight. So we do that. Everyone's wondering why they feel sick and gain nine pounds in four days. So then we eat like scallop potatoes at 2 30.

And then we go back to the room and Norm goes, he's walking me to my room and he goes, what are you going to do now? And I go, um, fall asleep within 14 seconds. And he goes, well, you want to come hang out? And I go, Norm, I actually sleep at night. I'm going to probably take a tub and go to bed. And he goes, why don't you just take a tub? I have a tub. I go, I'm going to come in your room and take a bed. He goes, why don't you just take a tub? I have a tub.

I go, I'm going to come in your room and take a bath. He's like, we can just talk. I go, no, the optics aren't good, Norm. No, no, thank you. What? And then next day he goes, Spade wanted me to take a bath with him. That's what he says in the group chat. And I'm like, no, no, no, no.

That's not what happened. That's amazing. I love that. I remember one time I think we were at Mohican Sun in Connecticut, I'm like, no, no, no, no. That's amazing. I love that. I remember one time, I think we were at Mohican sun in Connecticut, the casino and we were backstage and it was me and norm. And then you guys, David, you and Rob were in Adam's dressing room. And norm and I were in the hallway and there was a security guard walking down the hallway towards us and he had a gun and I go,, my God, Norm, that guy's got a gun.

And Norm goes, What? I got my dad and he ran into Adam's dressing room. Do you remember this, David? And he goes, No, hey, there's a guy with a gun. And Adam goes, What the fuck? And all you guys were like, Oh, my God, this guy with a gun. And I was like, Oh, no, no, it's a security guard was a joke. I was just, what the fuck? And all you guys were like, oh my God, this guy with a gun. And I was like, oh no, no, no, it's a security guard was a joke. I was just messing with Norm and Norm goes, now that the guys got a gun.

And Adam, Adam got mad at me and he goes, he goes, that's a joke. That the guy has a gun. I'm like, I was just messing with Norm. I didn't think he was going to run in and scream at everybody. I was just trying to get in trouble. Then I got reprimand in and scream at everybody. I was just trying to mess with no one. You were getting in trouble. Then I got reprimanded. And then I'm going, he's like, sorry. Go ahead.

He works a word, you know? My favorite story, which we said before, I tell it shortly, but he's playing with Lovitz, some casino, and he's after the show. We're like, hey, give me, I need $800, you know? And John's like, no, no. You know, and John's like, No, no, you know, I'm finally wears it down. All right. Here you go. But pay me back tomorrow. And then Norm comes in, John goes, where's my money? He goes, I don't have it.

And John gets really mad and goes, what are you getting mad for? I lost $8,000. Why only lost 800? You know, I say it. What a, what a battle of the most insane voices. Norm, Ted Lovett's in a conversation. It's just drive anybody insane. I told John that Lauren was kidding him.

Norm was intentionally, once John took a bite of the, this was like, well, I'm a better Santa than you, you know, because I've been doing it longer, so I'm better. You're not a real standup. He would say that to John and John would get super mad and excuse me, what? You know, angry. And then I said, the more you get,

react and Norm's gonna go work that. It's just so funny. Oh, going back to diets and how we would eat late at night. It was so brutal. It's like David said, he's horrible meat sweats. Like, I mean, Adam would eat steak at midnight. It was like insane, but I remember one time we were doing the Zohan and I was at Adam's house.

Yep. I was at Adam's house and this is before he had his kids. And, uh, he was like all stressed out cause he wasn't losing weight. He was like, I keep gaining weight. And I'm like, really? And he, and he's like, yeah. So I go to his refrigerator, he had two huge refrigerators. One had food.

The other one was just ice cream sandwiches. And I go, what is this for? And he goes, I like ice cream sandwiches. And I go, well, when do you eat them? And he goes, well, I wake up in the I go, well, when do you eat them? And he goes, well, I wake up in the middle of the night and I'll have like four. I'm like, in the middle of the night, you have four ice creams and you're wondering why you're not losing weight. What are you doing?

What are you in kindergarten? What's the answer? Did he get rid of the ice cream sandwich? He didn't put the math together. Yeah. No, you got like a Navy Seal trainin' him and punchin' him in the penis. Are fun, Nick and I, I've known Nick since

the very, very old days. When did I first see you, Nick? Was it, it wasn't, I wanna say Benchwormers, it was before Benchwormers, right? The first time I ever met you, Dana, I don't know if you were there, it was at the Aspen Comedy Festival and they had an SNL reunion and asked, Oh, wow.

I was there at the HBO comedy festival. Yeah. Farley was there and that was the first time I met you, David. I don't think you remember it. I remember we went out with Dave Becky. Okay. I love Dave Becky. Yeah.

And Dave, didn't he used to book you at like the San Diego improv or something? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we went out and you had just booked, just shoot me. And you were talking about it. We were walking around Aspen, you and me and Dave Becky. And you were like, yeah, I just booked a sitcom. It's not NBC. Is that a good network? Yeah. Yeah. And you were super cocky. Was that good when it's the major main mess, best one? And then I'd walk up to other people and go,

bye guys, I go up to other two strangers and go, yeah, I guess I'm just gonna do this new sitcom. And they're like, oh, hi, hello. And you were like, ah, bye bye. Ah, bye bye. Deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle. Oh yeah, we should get in a Nick that he, has to be an SNL fan,

cause he's a little twerp from Minnesota. You're up there, uh, struggling along, not fitting in, I'm guessing. And um, no one likes you, I'm guessing. And um, and then, and then you probably, when did you start on the old SNL train? So I, we all started stand up young, right? I started when I was 19. You were how old David? I was 19. Dana were how old David?

I was 19. Dana, you were held. Well, a little asterisk here. There were no comedy clubs when I started. I mean, literally. Uh, so I, I did do a set. It was the old West. Yeah. When I was 20, but then it'd be months before. Charlie Chaplin?

Charlie Chaplin? Charlie Chaplin? There was not a comedy scene. I mean, by the time 1980 came, I got out of college, they built a comedy club called the Punchline. But before that, it was just the Holy City Zoo, it was a bar. So you just didn't get a lot of sets. The train tracks were laid by the time you guys got there. So you start

doing it and you do five nights in a club. In my day, we didn't have comedy clubs. Hey, Mike Will. A Dixie cup with a string. I played a delicatessen. And that's true. I played a delicatessen. So, you know, why are you getting yours? Yeah. So you're a real ham at the delicatessen. This guy's like, hey, that's part of my special. You're like a ham. What, you're doing a special? Oh yeah, you did a special, right? Yeah, I got a special coming out July 18th and then I've got a whole new hour touring this fall toilet head. Oh good Well, we'll cut this part out. But what's the way man? I have a question So you're gonna record the special the special comes out and then you're gonna tour

Okay, go ahead go ahead well, can you tour with the special you have to have new material, right? No I have a special coming out. It's already recorded Oh, I got it last year and now I've got a whole new hour for the fall and I'll record that at the end of the year. Wow. We always talk about this day and an hour. I don't know. It's hard to get an hour.

Yeah. How do you hear it? It's so tough. But to answer your question, David. So when I started standup, I wasn't a big fan of standup. So I was a huge fan of SNL. So for me, the, my favorite years, I don't know if it's because just my time, but like, or my age, but like the late eighties, early nineties, like you guys's era, I think is hands down the best era ever. Cause that cast

was such a banger between you guys, Farley, Rock, Tim Meadows, Kevin Nealon, Phil Hartman. I mean, like it was just insane. Mike Myers. Mike Myers. I mean, like. There was a coal. There was like, yeah, I agree with that because you had the new, the bad boys of comedy coming in, Rock and Spade and everybody. And then you still had Phil Hartman, myself, Mike Myers.

Jan Hooks. Jan Hooks. Jan Hooks. And so it was sort of, I said, when we interviewed Lorne, I said, didn't, all the errors are good. But I go, but didn't you have a lot of weapons? You had Toots as the cat or Sandler would sing a song. Mike would do sprockets. There were so many reoccurring characters.

But anyway, just because I was there doesn't mean it was the best. Whoops. So many, I mean, it was crazy. One of my favorites, who wrote massive head wound Harry? Oh yeah. That was a Jack Handy, you know? No, I, you know, different people worked on it, but I believe Rob Schneider was the, was the core of it.

Isn't that what Rob told us? Oh my God. No, he said Joe Biden wrote it. Rob said Joe Biden wrote it. I asked Biden, did you write massive, heavy, and hairy? He said, yeah, so hairy is massive, but there was a vibe.

I agree. So you did write it. Well, as I said. Anyway, how to get canceled. Who wrote the effeminate heterosexual? That's a great, Lyle. Who wrote the effeminate heterosexual? That's a great, Lyle, Lyle the effeminate heterosexual. That was me, had a hairdresser who was so effeminate and he was completely straight.

And so that essence came from, then Smigel did the song and then that was that. And I heard a rumor that it was Tim Burton's favorite sketch. I don't know if that's true. You hear weird things like Tim Burton. I love sketches that have a little song up front. He's like, Oh, you know, I love that where the whole premise is completely right up front and then you go in.

That's right. Here's the song that says the whole sketch and then you just act it out. I don't think they do that as much anymore. Maybe they do. So you're like a little kid, you're like an eighth grader or something, you're watching SNL and your mind's blowing, whoops, too many weapons. And then how fanciful is it for you to go, I wanna do that. I wanna be a funny guy on TV. Yeah, I was like, again, I started doing improv

and I did sketches and standup, I just never thought anything about it. So my improv company folded comedy sports. And so I was like, okay, I'll just try standup. So I went and I tried it and it went great. It wasn't like my first time was awesome. And then it went all downhill from there. That's everyone says that first one. Where's the bomb and you start collecting bombs. Yeah. One of my favorite stories is when I first started, I got successful really quick when I was really young.

I was 19 and I got the HBO comedy festival for people that don't know. That was a huge deal. So I was a new face at 19 years old. I'd been doing standup for six months. And so long story short, I go to the Bay area and I had all this heat on me. I'd signed with Dave Becky, who's a manager. And this guy, John Fox, do you remember that name, Dana? No, of course.

He booked all of us up and down the coast, Seattle underground. Yeah, totally. Yeah, absolutely, booked a ton of clubs. So I go to the Bay Area and he booked me in Santa Cruz. I believe the club was the Crow's nest, if that's right. Yes. So he, I fly into the Bay area and he drives me personally to the gig. And he's like, he goes, you have a ton of heat on you.

Everyone's talking about you. I'm really excited for you to do this room. I'm like, okay. He goes, I'm going to drive you personally. So it was like an hour and a half drive and we're talking comedy the whole time. And he's talking about you, Dana. And he was like about you, Dana. And he was like, you remind me of a Dana Carvey.

He's like he was he came in hot young kid to smoke the room, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I love Dana Carvey's my favorites. So anyway, long story short, we tried to the gig. I bomb so hard, so hard. Like it was one of my top bombs of all time. And then we had to drive home for an hour and a half. And he didn't talk to me the whole ride. So we went from being like all excited and then I tank it.

And it was just the most awkward. And I just kept thinking, I am not Dana Carvey. Like, he just kept holding me, I am not Dana Carvey. Like, he just kept holding me up to the bar of Dana. I, that was all an illusion. I mean, I started, I did some sets. And then I happened to win a comedy competition, but then I bombed opening for bands and bombed all the time. I mean, you just bomb until you, but you're more experimental, aren't you? When you're until you, Oh, this how I'm supposed to do it.

Were you just like going up with your energy the way I would perceive you? And if the crowd hooks it, then you're in, but if they don't get it. Yeah. I have, when I started out and I don't know if you guys were like this, but like starting out in standup, I was terrified of silence. So I was so physical and energetic. Cause I didn't want any silence. Like I didn't want any kind of dead air.

So I was just manic and crazy, just a crazy person. So like that made it even worse when you're bombing. So when you have like energy times a thousand and the crowd's like, yeah, no. You know, sometimes it's tough when you go up, you guys know that if I'm doing a corporate or anything, you know, you can still bomb in this day and age. And I go up and I, and I sometimes catch myself going, folks, if you're not buying the first three jokes, you're not going to buy

the last. I mean, it's, it's, I don't have a big, I don't change to South fall in the middle. Like this is my sense of humor. If you're not really into it at the beginning, first 10 minutes, it's very rare to win them over, but you can. You can trip into a bit that sort of clicks, and then they start to go, all right, we'll give you a chance. And then you do another one, and then that's the best feeling, if you can turn them around. But it's kind of true. Like if they're not buying your whole vibe, it's just tough.

They just like no sale. Did you, in the early days, at some point have a bit or a joke that was what I would call surefire? Like one that you could lean on. I had Jimmy Stewart as a waiter. That never didn't get a laugh. Yeah. And this is, you know, I don't know if at some point you do have like the one bit that never. It's like Spade doing Tom Petty at some point.

That always going to get a reaction. He had the hat. He looked like Tom Petty. In my closer. Yeah. Hard to follow. Funny face. Yeah, mine, I would impersonate a cat vomiting.

That's already funny. Yeah. So I would impersonate exactly like a cat vomiting and that would always kill. That was one of my first go-tos. You could actually say you're going to do that later in the anchor. You guys, if you stick around, I'm going to do a cat vomiting and that would always kill. That was one of my first go-tos. You could actually say you're going to do that later in the ancho, you guys, if you stick around, I'm going to do a cat vomiting and it keeps getting a laugh and then just never do it because it's just funny anyway. I love just stuff like that, like abstract, just with no connection to reality or anything,

here's a cat vomiting. The idea of someone doing that makes me laugh. Well, also like the big thing too is when you have a closing bit, like that's so key, like trying to find a really good closer. So, yeah, God, it's so stressful. You know what's fun is when you move a bit from the middle of the act and you go, let me try to close with this. That's such a victory. You go, oh my God, I have a fucking closer.

Like a bit you're just working on. You go, oh my God, it's so strong. I can put it's so strong. I can put it at the end. And then you do a special and the grossest part is you gotta rip it out of your fucking claws and go, nope, you don't have that crutch anymore. You're like, God dang, I finally got that one to work.

Yeah, it's the worst. I remember I used to open for David Cross and we were doing the Houston improv and or the laugh stops, sorry. And I was going to the bathroom. I was taking a pee in the bathroom. And I, and I thought of a joke where I was like at the

urinal or toilet or whatever. Yeah. It was at the toilet, Jimmy. That was at the toilet. No wonder it always killed. It's funny when I hear anyone do it. Just why somebody talking like that. Like, go ahead.

So I was like, I thought of a premise where I was like, God, what if I came as much as I peed, like I peed for like a minute. I'm like, what if I orgasm came for a minute? And I told David that and he was like, oh, you should tell that on stage. And I go, really? So I told it on stage and it did well. And then I forgot about it. And then a decade later, I talked about it.

I like, I found it in one of my notebooks and I was like, Oh, and I did a whole, then became my closer 10 years later. I'd forgotten about it. And I randomly just said, come P in my notebook and then became my closer on my Netflix special I did. I have common PMI notebook. It is interesting when you keep, I don't know about,

I keep massive pieces of paper around. I'm incredibly lazy, but I'm terrified of forgetting a joke. But you will go through it once in a while. I got big gobs over here and you go, oh, that one, why'd I stop doing that one? It is fun when you go, oh, that bit'll work. I look at mine, Dana, at mind day and it's like,

it's like, I put a joke like, yeah, last time I did that was when I was 12 and then in parentheses it says, cross eyes here. That's the funny part. Yeah, and I'm like, oh right, I can't forget. That's the real killer part of that one. Like I give myself notes, my whole joke, I'm like, oh boy.

Like I give myself notes, my whole joke. I'm like, oh boy. So what's your closer on this special? I don't want to give it away. But you did it off the grid. You did it yourself, right? Sorry, my computer does that. It's a little thing. Yeah, I was like, what is that?

It's on YouTube, which is all the rage. Release it direct to consumer. Is that the idea or was it? Yeah, because I had gotten, I was talking to Hulu and Amazon on these places, but they wanted to release it next year. So I've got my fall tour. So I was like, I'll just throw it on YouTube. Like I don't, you know what I mean?

No, same thing. I'm not making any money. I'm just like, I want everyone to see it. It's a, it's a promo. Even Schneider said, if I do another one, I don't even want to try to sell it to Netflix. I would just say, could you put it on? Just take it for free. And if not, I'll put it on YouTube because you really just need a calling card of like,

here's something and you generate a little money from that. And then you push the tour. Like musicians, you probably make more when you go on the road. So you got to get people interested. Yeah. Everybody, I mean, you make money from touring. We're not all, you know, Sandler and rock and Chappelle or it's like, here's eight billion dollars. No, no. I mean the new Netflix deals are, yeah, it's this,

it's more just for the platform, but how did you film it then? You're in charge. Thumbs up is so weird. It's so fucking funny. There's people something I clicked and then balloons will come down sometimes. Dana does something and he has a thumbs up pop up on the screen. It's so funny and a balloon. I don't know what makes it pop up. Whitney did this and balloons keep falling out. I feel like it makes me feel like I'm doing well. Yeah, you get thumbs up you're like, like the audience. look, look what I just got. Look, now I got fireworks from doing that. Let's stop again. People are hearing this. Oh, you got it again, your thumbs up. But then the fireworks came for some reason. It's funnier than the whole thing.

It looks like I'm jacking off. I'm going to stop. Close with that. Your orgasm is fireworks. That's amazing. So where did you, I'm just curious about that. I did the San Jose improv. And these producers did producers came and they offered to shoot it for me. Yeah.

They were great. 450 seats, giant balcony. Yeah, San Jose is a good club. It's a great club. That's one of my favorites. Great club. Yeah. They fill it up too.

I might even do my next one there. Yeah, that's great over there. For Minnesota. I do think like that's like a small theater. It's a club, but it's like four 50. So it's sort of like the perfect size to do comedy, to record comedy. Yeah, it's great. It was awesome.

And the crowds are awesome. I really loved it. Yeah. Um, David, I don't know if you remember this, one of my favorite tour moments speaking of Rob Schneider, we did Orlando and, um, he got all, he was mad about something. Of course. And, um, who stole my magnesium. Yeah. And your intro, do you remember this? Rob goes on stage and he was like, before he introduced you, he goes, uh, let me just talk about the shooting at the gay nightclub. Oh, at the Pulse nightclub? Yeah. He goes, Oh my, yeah.

He goes, it was one year ago today that that shooting happened. And the people in the crowd go, no, it was six months ago. It wasn't a year ago. Yeah. And he goes, no, half a year. It was six. And they're like, yeah, no, six months. And he goes, and he looks on the side of the stage and I'm standing

next to a crew member and he goes, that asshole told me it was a year ago. This guy, this random guy, this crew member. And I'm standing next to him. The guy goes, I've never talked to Rob in my life. I have no idea what he's talking about. Excellent. I remember that. He goes, anyway, Joe Dirt.

To the angry crowd and sad crowd. Hey, anyway, there was a big gay shooting. Here's David Spade, a big gay comic. Yeah, it's like, what a weirdo. I know. Do you like group shows? Do you like group shows, Nick? I love it because, I mean, David and I had talked about this. The Sandwich tour was amazing,

but it's hard doing 10 minutes. It's really hard. Like in a big crowd. I don't mind doing an hour. I mean, I love doing an hour, but it's like, it's a catch 22 because it's easy doing 10 minutes, but it's also hard if that makes sense, but it's great being with my friends. Like, you know, the Sandler tour was amazing.

I mean, those are my best friends and norm and you know, it was just great. Where was the show where you have that picture of me, you know, the Sandler tour was amazing. I mean, those are my best friends and Norm and, you know, it was just great. Where was the show where you have that picture of me, you and Adam back behind the stage is an outdoor event. It's huge event. That was Minnesota. Yeah. That was a bill. It's like 20,000 or something.

But that was the one where I kept telling Sandler, I go, we have to do Minnesota. It's my home state, my hometown. We have to do it. He's like, yeah. And then finally, like he didn't do it. And then finally he did and it sold out immediately. They had to add like 5,000 seats. It was like crazy.

You know, I did my last special in Minneapolis. Yeah. You did the Pantages, right? I don't look in the past. Cracker barrel. No, I don't know. Do you remember Heather? What was it?

It was a Cracker Barrel pop-up. Yeah, it was Cracker Barrel pop-up. Next to the freeway at the fireworks store. What's the theater? It's a Cracker Barrel. Let's do that. What's the theater that has three sides to it and goes straight up? It's like an amphitheater in Minneapolis.

I played that a few times. I don't remember the name. The Orpheum? I do remember. Was it the State Theater? Orpheum? Orpheum. No, but I do remember. Hmm. Was it the state theater, the Orpheum? Hmm. No, my next one is in Denver.

I remember the audience has been especially great in Minneapolis. Yeah, they're phenomenal. They're fine. That's why it was tricky because like when I started, I did really well, like I said, out of the gate, I had never bombed in Minnesota, like not even close. And then, Good job. You're doing great, sweetie. even close. And then, and then I moved in.

Right, sweetie. Oh yeah. That was fun. All that gets vomiting. Oh, that's vomiting on his own penis. Yeah. Oh, that's fun. But then when I moved to New York is when I really started bombing,

everybody told me it was the best advice I ever got. Neelan, actually I opened for Neelan at the Mall of America. And he told me, I go, I think I'm going to move to L.A. And he was like, no, he's like, go to New York. I remember him, Judy Gold, another comedian. Yeah. Told me, you go to New York and I went to New York and I would eat the hottest shit on planet Earth.

I got booed off stage. It was just a toughen you up and, and just go, if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere kind of thing. Yeah. Basically it was like cut your teeth. Go, go to the, go to the big apple. What would be a typical area is Nick Swartz. What would be a typical opener for you opening line or opening? You look young. I'm just curious why you look like a high school junior or whatever. And why would they boo you off? Did you go super blue then or what was it?

No, cause I was so clean and I would have, I would have to get, you know, you know, when you're starting out any stage time, you just have to get whatever you can get. So I would go on in the village at like one in the morning. Oh, and I'm following, you know, David Tell and you know, rock and guys like that. And I was just so clean. Like, I don't want to hear about a cat vomiting. That's, you know, I'm following like four hours of like pussy jokes.

Yeah. No pun intended. And then, and then I've also in the pussies vomiting. Yeah. See what I did. It's hard to follow a hyper confident East Coast comic, just with almost like he's going to beat up the audience if they don't laugh. The fuck's up, New York? You know, following one of those guys.

Yeah, this fucking guy. Look at this guy in the front row. This queer. What are you, queer? Now welcome Nick Svartzen, you know, hey, everybody. I like the high. Hi. I had a dog. You know what's weird? Man is. Yeah. Why? Ever put me because you put it on your hot dog. And boo boo.

Get the fuck out of. Some people put ketchup, but I'm kind of off kilter. I got my knees. I put mustard on my butt. Oh, that's really the weird place. I remember one of my biggest thanks to was I was doing stand-up on Conan O'Brien. On his head. And I was doing Conan and I was at the Comedy Cellar and I was doing Conan the next day.

And they were like do you want to go run your set and I'm like no it's good it's tight and they're like no you should run your set all these comics Mark Cohen was like no you should run your set and I'm like no no it's fine and they're like now they're yelling at me so I'm like okay fine I'll do it so when you run a tv set you can't really interact with the crowd you You just have to like stick to your time. So I go up and it's dead. I'm bombing horribly. And I've got to do this set on TV the next day.

All your confidence goes out the window. Yeah. All of it goes out the window. So I snap at the crowd and I go, none of this is funny. None of this. I'm doing this on TV tomorrow. And they go, no, it's not funny. I wouldn't. And I was like, fuck you.

And I just walked off stage and I went upstairs in the restaurant with all the comics. They're all laughing and I was like, oh, real funny guys. And they're like, that was amazing. You just totally ate shit. And I was like, yeah, great. That's their help. Yeah. It's like, I know when you get your set to when you get your set to where you like it, it's

almost like I don't even want to trifle with it. I just want to, I know it. I just want to go do it. And I go do it again. You're like, I can't, I don't want any difference of what's going on. Right? Yeah. I don't want to trifle with anything.

I don't want to trifle with shit. God. I haven't heard. Oh, thumbs up, David. You got a thumbs up for trifle. Thanks Dana thanks, Dana. But isn't it in my eye? Uh, uh. Dana, can you see them? Oh!

There you go. Well, I'm just seeing fireworks behind me. Fireworks, it's great. Yeah. Oh, I want to talk about bench warmers because everyone asks me about bench warmers all the time. So you started writing, you're starting with Sandler, you meet Sandler, somehow you're writing bench warmers with, was it when you and

Cover are you and Sandler who wrote that? Sandler called me. I remember I was in Nashville and I was doing a gig and he called me and I was in my hotel room and, uh, he was like, Hey, I thought I sold an idea. It's a Sony. And I'm like, what is it? He goes called, um, or he didn't have a title yet, but he's like, it's three little leaguers, whatever. And he gave me the premise. He's like,

I want you to write it. And I'm like, okay. So me and covert wrote it. And then Sandler jumped in. And I remember I had a voicemail from you, David. And you said, I've read a ton of scripts. I've had a lot of people write roles for me. So we wrote it for you and mine. And you said, I've rarely seen somebody write something this perfect for me. Oh, great. Yeah. I remember loving bench warmers. And it's great.

Well, I, you know, David's voice that is, that's perfect. I mean, it's a great way to write like, okay, David's David's character is going to talk like this and say this. Cause you kind of can just process. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I just knew his sarcasm just from watching him for years. You know what I mean? And you and the, I mean, was it me and Robin mind? We just didn't know that third one.

I don't think it was you and Rob and then we couldn't peg the third one. And then we got John heater, which was great. John was amazing. John, you know, I just saw an SNL monologue. Napoleon dynamite everybody. Yeah. You know, he did a Dana, we should have him on because he, he's a great dude. And he also did a pretty funny monologue when he, I didn't know he hosted SNL.

Hey, great monologue. I saw yesterday on my Twitter. I didn't know he hosted SNL. Yeah. Not funny. And, uh, everyone in the audience, he goes, a lot of people say, you know, he wasn't doing Napoleon, but he's like, a lot of people say that, you know,

I stole some of these characters from back home, but these are just original characters. And he goes, I have a question. He goes, oh, hey Rick. This guy in the audience stands up dressed exactly like Napoleon Diamond. He goes, I think he stole it from me. And he goes, no, it has nothing to do with anyone I've ever met.

And then Bill Hader, not Bill Hader, but, uh, God damn it. Bill Simmons. No, uh, Joe Biden. Was he a cast member? Go ahead. I don't know. Everyone stands up as a cast member from Napoleon Dynamite. Anyway, who gives a fat fuck? I saw it. I laughed at it.

John Heater was fun. I think there was a chance of using someone else. I feel like, this sounds like a lie, I saw Napoleon Dynamite the first half and I alerted Sandler and the squad and going, I don't know who we have. This guy's funny. He might be weird, but you know, I have no say in this. I'm just saying I like them. And then I think it's sort of, everyone's sort of heard about the movie and it, he came in and remember it, we were trying to get him to do Napoleon Dynamite the whole goddamn movie, which is so rude, but I was going to say that. So for people listening, David and I nonstop would do Napoleon

dynamite to John Heater and he'd be like, all right, you guys, I get it. Gosh. All right. And we, like when people say, like when I say you lost your, I mean, these lines still make me laugh. I didn't write probably any of them. Um, you you lost your, I mean, these lines still make me laugh. I didn't write probably any of them. No. You just lost your membership at Video Spot.

And he goes, dang it. Just to get him to say it like Napoleon Dynamite or a little bit, we all would like a, wah, so funny. I can be a fan of someone just based on one line. And I think I saw that movie six times because all the kids in the neighborhood wanted to see it and cousins and everybody. But when they on the bus, I think the little girl goes, what are you going to

do today, Napoleon? He goes, whatever I want. Gosh. Comedy like that where it's inexplicable. There's no actual joke. Yeah. It's ribnic and bizarre There's no actual joke. Yeah. It's rhythmic and bizarre. It really just laughs.

I have any young person right now is not seen Napoleon Dynamite. Or old person. Just see it. It grows on you. First few minutes, you're like, what am I watching? I think it's perfect. I've seen it probably a hundred times. Yeah.

I could probably quote that entire movie. And then back to Benchwormers anyway. So anyway, quote that entire movie. And then back to bench warmers anyway. So anyway, bench warmers. Go ahead. No, I was saying one of my other favorite moments, David, I don't know if you remember this, we were in Vegas. You're doing the mirage and John heater came with his wife and, uh, we were, so John heater's Mormon, so they don't drink alcohol.

So David and I were drinking, we're at the bar and we're're like, hey, John, why don't you have a drink? And he goes, I can't, you guys know that. We're like, yeah, but you could have one. Get off my back. No, I can't. You know I can't. They get ordered a glass of milk or something. And we were like, yeah, you could do like one shot.

He's like, no, you guys. And I remember his wife, I remember his wife goes, his wife goes, ah, but John, we can maybe have one, right? And he got so mad. He was like, no, we can't. You know that. You were going to get a little bit of soaking action tonight, but not now. What did he think? You're going to get a funnel and hold him down with the funnel.

I know. We're so, we're such losers for doing that to him. But I remember there's another funny joke that you gave me when the catcher goes, you're still out, you're still fat. Yeah. God, I can't remember. Oh, I go, you're a good catcher of donuts in your mouth. Great.

One of the catchers was Jack Nicholson's kid, Ray, who was a stud, who is actively being a stud right now. And Ray was great. So Patrick Schwarzenegger was in it. Patrick Schwarzenegger was in it. Dan Patrick was probably in it. Right. Um, I don't know. Was he all in the squadron and yeah, he was super fun.

Fun to shoot in the Valley of LA. I wish we could shoot another movie. That was such a blast that summer. I wanted to do Benchwormers 2. I told you that. I had conceived a whole thing. It was gonna be like Bad News Bears 2, where we go to Japan.

And I had a whole thing mapped out. I told you and Rob and John, and everybody was on board, and then we lost the rights to Benchwormers. And then they made a Benchwormers 2, which was- I don't know, some nonsense. So Happy Madison didn't own bench warmers. Someone else took it away.

Something happened. They sold the name. I can't remember what happened, but, um, yeah, but we, we lost it, but yeah. Cause Lovitz, I still think was Lovitz was very funny in that. And, uh, Lovitz is another one where he doesn't want to do Lovitz. So it's like John Heater where it's like, just do like your voice. And like when we were doing bench warmers, I remember love it's like fight about, you know, like Sandler be like, no, just deliver it. Like John love it. He's like,

I don't want to do John love it. I don't want to do that range. I'm going to do a whole nother character. Sandler was like, are you fucking dumb? He wrote it for you in your voice. Like just deliver the cut. The way you picture it. Yeah. I am not John Lovitz anymore. He thinks he's Benicio del Toro doing like a whisper. I'm Daniel Gay Lewis.

What about Reno 911, another monster hit Reno? I still see clips from that. You know, the good thing about Reno 911, another monster hit Reno? I still see clips from that. You know, the good thing about the internet, there's not one thing. David, it's not easy. Listen, I became a national phenomenon, but, uh, Terry Dana, you would never have seen this because no one really did. Yeah, it was. Yeah.

Of course. He got that. One of those quirky, funny. Swarty on roller skates. A lot of ad-libbing, I would guess. It was all ad-libbed. There was a lot of funny people in it. It was the sound of it.

The movie was ad-libbed. I remember they gave me the script for the movie and it was like 15 pages. And I go, what is this? It was all locations. There was no dialogue. You're in a bowling alley. Go.

Yeah. That's like a, that's like a dream. Terry skates up. That's the dream part, right? Yeah. It was amazing. To not have to repeat lines all day. You do three masters at 7 AM and by six o'clock that night at your closeup.

And you, if you miss a word, the script supervisor goes, ah, you said your elbow was out and you said the before. So if every take is it's a real live take, no wonder it's so. Well, that's like curb, those kinds of things where you can, it's hard for the editor, but if you can pick the right shit out, I saw some bridesmaids, uh, you know, bloopers and you're like, God, some of these are as good, you know, you just don't know it's Sophie's choice. You go, this is the one that's going in the movie for all of time.

And there's one just as good that no one will ever see. So you pick the take and you got to live with it. And that's hard because you sit there and go, that's good for this reason. That's good for this reason. What joke? I mean, you never know. Well, also we would try to make it. I mean, especially me, I would try to say the most insane things to break

the other cast members and make them laugh. So my character was so outlandish. So I was just trying to come up with just pure insanity. It's like Wrong Missy where Lauren had such a great fun part where I was a straight man. And then when you're insane like that, you can really say anything. And when we're at a date and she's like, quit trying to, I fuck me across the room, some tough guy. And I'm like, what are you doing? So every take they'd be like, do this one a little drunker.

You know what? Do this one a little sexier. No, do this one a little more insane. And it just turns out to where that was another example of there was a, Wrong Missy was such a fun movie that worked out for us all and Nick was in it with us. And, um, but there's some, I did very well that day, but I did great. You're my buddy in it.

We're buddies from Portland. We're pals. Yeah. You always, Nick didn't want to shave his beard by the way, Dana. Just what'd you say, Dana? I said, Nick is always funny. I don't think I've ever seen you not funny. I remember what was the one Sandler did with Jennifer Aniston is just go with it.

Yeah. Do you, were you in that one too? I mean, or there was every time you come in, you're like doing something so in the channel, I assume it's like your own little ecosystem you, you sort of invent crazy person. Yeah. I was the guy that was, I played part German and I resuscitated the sheep. That's right. And I was like, oh, so shape. I remember saying, I remember standard called me. I remember exactly where I was. I was a baby blues barbecue in Venice and then

Santa calls me and he goes, say, what are you doing? And I go, I'm having dinner. Why? What's up? And he goes, can you do a German accent? And I go, uh, what like this? Like a girl's, uh, it's a bar, it's a food. And he goes, okay, perfect. Call you tomorrow. And he calls me, he goes, we're doing a movie in Hawaii. You mean Anderson, you're playing a half German dude. And I was like, what the hell?

It was like the most Sandler. What a blast. Yeah. And I was like, what the hell? It was like the most Sandler. What a blast. Yeah. Yeah. It was amazing. If there's a whisper that he might have something going, then it's always like confirmed basically. Hey, I might need you for this.

Uh, would you want to do something like that? What did we first do together? Was it Jack and Jill? Yeah, I think so. Was that when he played like a puppeteer? Yeah. And Regis Filman was in that. Yes, that think so. Was that when he played like the puppeteer? Yeah, and Regis Filman was in that. Yes, that's right. Yeah, I did a puppeteer weirdo or something.

It was like a cameo. I mean, I don't know. What did you play in Jack and Jill? I played like his co-worker. We're all in Jack and Jill. David, were you in Jack and Jill? I was a girl in Jack and Jill. Everybody's, David, were you in Jack and Jill? I was a girl in Jack and Jill. Oh yeah, that's right.

I made out with Al Pacino. Look, I've only been in two Sandler movies trying to give an assist and help out. Sandy Wormick. One was Little Nicky and one was Jack and Jill. They were 10 years apart. They underperformed and not that they weren't funny.

And so I was a jinx to the Taffy Madison. I think Jack and Jill is so funny. I, I'm, I left the godend premiere of Jack and Jill and I was like, I may be wrong, this is going to make a hundred million dollars. And I did the same thing with that's my boy. I was like, I laughed the whole time. I'm like, am I? I still think it's phenomenal. It's fucking hilarious. It's so rough. I like when he plays dirty already. When the comedian, when you get a sense that

the person on screen is having so much fun, like Sandler's commitment to the Jill character and how Joy doing that. It was just bouncing off the screen. So who knows why things are hits, fellas? What was the biggest hit you were ever in Nick? Would it? Grown ups? Not Bucky Larson. I've lost Bucky Larson.

That's one of my favorites. God bless. I don't know. Probably just go with it or maybe click. What about Grown Ups 2, dummy? Grown Ups 2, yeah, it's another one. Yeah, come on, fool. But I would say the biggest one

that didn't do well at all in the theater, but Grandma's Boy was huge. Oh yeah. That became just, why am I talking about Grandma's Boy? Just kept going and going and going. Right. It just, it made it like, I knew when we were writing it, I was like, Oh, this movie is so bonkers, weird.

It's not, I don't know how they're going to market it. Like I knew it was not going to do well, but I knew when it hit DVD that it was going to be explosive and it was like made like as much as Titanic and like TVT it's like insane. Yeah much as Titanic and like TVT. It was like insane. Yeah. That's one I had one scene in it, Dana again. And I heard about this to this day. I mean, grandma's boy, if you get a scene or you're just in a movie like that,

that just, they used to grind. That's what happened with Joe Dirt, Dickie Roberts, when they, when you do them and they go to DVD, they do pretty good in the theater and then they hit DVD and it just explodes and they make so much money off of them. And then they go to HBO and they go to DVD, they do pretty good in theater and then you hit DVD and it just explodes and they make so much money off of them and then they go to HBO and they go here. So someone is making money. It's not us. But in a related story one time little Nikki, this Nikki and I were at lunch. I think Nicole remember this. There's two things happen. We're at La Scala like two old women and we're having lunch. This is way back and because, do you remember, two things like two old women and we're having lunch. This is way back.

And because do you remember two things happened? One, you had a residual check for writing bench warmers and it was so big. I was like, holy shit, dude. And you had it in your hand. I won't say how much. And then, and then I remember. 27,000. And then don't try to do this.

I know you're doing. And then, and Heath Ledger this. I know you're doing. And then Heath Ledger died. We heard it at lunch. Do you remember this? I vaguely do. Yeah. Look at your diary. It's in there.

Look at my diary. Yeah. We heard that and we were both a little thrown because I think we both knew, obviously knew of him, but had seen him out. And I remember I barely knew him and I had his phone number in my phone, but I didn't ever call him or talk to him.

But I remember just talking to him one night and then I thought, oh, how weird. And then I remember it was even worse because you were there for some reason and that made it worse. I was very sad. I never knew Heath, but I was a big fan. I was sad and then you make me sad and so it was all sad.

This is a little off topic, but it's kind of interesting to me that Heath Ledger, his Joker kind of broke the whole form with the lip and everything and now Joaquin Phoenix does it. I don't know where the next thing to do is have Joker back with regular lipstick, but with tips like this, then it's a weirdo. The next Joker should just... Could a weirdo have regular, really well-groomed lipstick? He should look like The Bachelor. Just go back to being the normal Joker.

I'm the normal Joker. Because where's it going? I think the next incarnation is Rob Schneider as the Joker. As the poker. He'll poke you until you get irritated. Come on. Come in my cave. He comes into it. That would be more like the poker, he'll poke you until you get here. It's come on. Come in my cave. He comes into it.

That would be, that would be, he comes up to Batman and throws fucking magnesium pills on his vaccine. Thanks to everybody. He vaccinated. He doesn't like vaccination. He doesn't like, he doesn't like, oh, let, let me just say, I met, this is a random segue, but I remember going back to the Aspen Comedy Festival, it was the only time I met Chris Farley. And I remember, Dana, you've been to Aspen, right?

Yeah, you were there. Yeah, and I was there and I've been other times. Yeah. But the altitude is really brutal. So I was 19 years old and I remember I was having trouble breathing. Like even like walking up just a couple of stairs, I was having trouble. And I was 19. I was in good shape.

And I remember very vividly walking home from a gig to the hotel and it was like 10 o'clock at night and I just heard like a roar screaming down the street. Big foot. And I'm like, what is that? And I looked down the street and it's Farley shirtless. It's like 10 degrees and he's got a cigarette in his mouth and he's doing cartwheels down the snow with his entourage. I think Johnny was there, his brother clown, total clown, but I'll never forget

that Farley was what? 400, 450 pounds? And he's doing cartwheels and chain smoking. Very agile. Down the street. And I just, I'll never forget the roar that just echoed. Aspen's a small town. It's pretty contained. So it just was thunderous, like throughout the whole place.

It was like crazy. So it just was thunderous throughout the whole place. It was crazy. Nick, where was the gig you just did where you got altitude poisoning and you got sick? Dana, this is sad. Nick wasn't feeling well and he was doing stand-up and he tried to push through his show. It was 9,000 feet altitude and I took an edible. Like I'm the first person to do that in Colorado. 9,000 seriously? Hold on a second. 9,000 feet. The people just live at 9,000 feet. They must all be distance runners or something. Yeah, I don't know.

That's really high. So yeah. I totally brain farted on stage and then then ended up on TMZ and they like took me off stage, it was like a total mess, but it wasn't bad. I didn't like pull like some Michael Richards thing where I started losing my mind. Easy on that. Michael Richards. Touchy. Oh, you just shook.

I don't say. This is some words. Di Didactic or facetious. So when you have that and you got the altitude, you got the edible in you and it's not happening, what is the back of your head? What are you saying to yourself internally? Abort mission. I am having a trouble, I should get off stage or is it just sort of a slow motion? No, I could have figured it out. I was just a space cadet.

They weren't being very patient. Yeah, it was just a total non-story. It's funny in this day and age. Well, it made national news. It was like, it made Yahoo, again, TMZ, like CNN, USA Today called me for a comment. I was like, what? Nick, Nick.

We'll be back with more stories about Ukraine, but first out of Beverson, Colorado, a comedian comes off stage 20 minutes early. We'll be right back. Yeah. It's the best quote is like, Nick's like, I was in altitude. I take gummies and shrooms, guys.

What are you worried about? And everyone's like, yeah, Nick. I'm like, they're applauding this behavior? Yeah Nick! I'm like they're applauding this behavior? Yeah they were applauding this behavior. The next week any sells out. This is the classic with things that happen. Then I just ripped it. I did Aspen right after Beaver Creek. It had two sold out shows and people threw edibles at me on stage. The stage is literally covered in edibles. The stage. You're like, guys, scrape, scrape. I can't do all these tonight, but I'll pace them out.

People love it, but they, you know, it's a human story, you know? I mean, they do love the, talk about authenticity and stuff. And then you, would you talk about it, make jokes and they, they throw edible. I mean, then it's like, you know. Yeah. I was very self-effacing about it. I mean, I talked about it on stage for a while, but it was a rumor that you ate a bowl of your own diarrhea. And I was like, no, I don't know. Maybe I snorted it.

That's where you're wrong. Snort the P hang on Nick, where you go? Let's look, first of all, let me see what else I got. I want, I have a question for you. Like randomly at airports and stuff, when people come up to you and maybe some more obscure part of your career, what makes you happy? Like people come up and go, Bucky Larson's one of my favorite films or just, just random things from your specials or what do they say to you when they approach you?

I love it. My fans are so awesome and all like hang with everybody. David always gets annoyed by it, but like I'll take photos of anybody I'll take. I'll get a drink with anybody. Like I just have a blast. So if people like Bucky Larson, Bucky Larson got 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. I think it's, I think it's up to 3%. Fuck yeah. It's a phenomenal movie. So that one I always love, but like, you know, obscure ones, like my character and like, that's my boy, um, like my random standup jokes, if somebody just

pulls something from, you know, I've been doing standup for 30 years. So it's like, if somebody throws out like a joke from 30 years ago, like, I'll be like, Whoa, like I get so fired up. I have a good one, but it's on zoom. I can't do one of my favorite jokes here is because it's zoom. It's very physical. I need to take off my clothes for it. What do you get approached for the most?

No, the most it's either. I have a joke for this one. Hey, do George Bush senior? And I go, nah, gonna do it. That's all one of those. Killer beginning, middle and, and you're out of there. Hans and Franz, Church Lady, Garth, all that stuff. But once in a while, people come up to me and go, Oh my friends, every month we talk about skinheads from Maine, which was a sketch that Stephen Colbert

and I did on the ill-fated Dana Carvey show where it was a flight of fancy. Why are racists always Southern guys? Couldn't they be from New Hampshire or something? So it was a flight of fancy. Why are racists always Southern guys? Couldn't they be from New Hampshire or something? So it was like, well, you know, it's like, what you doing there? Oh, I'm whittling a hate stick for beating Spaniards. You know, so it's all that Petridge farm type guys, but they're complete racists.

The specificity of that and the complete non sequitur of someone bringing that up to me is great. I like that. Chopped broccoli. I get a lot too. Oh yeah. I was going to say, but I mean, all time. Garth is one of my, Wayne's world, I can quote, start to finish. I still like, we'll just randomly just pop into Garth and be like, I love you dream woman. And then when you're playing the drums, the guy goes, that was amazing, dude. And he just go, I like to play. That's right.

You got it. So good. See, that makes me happy. Any kind of line that doesn't really have a punch line that it just exists. It can keep continuing to be funny. If someone says, thanks, I like to play. Those are the kind that don't kill it. And then they kill in longevity of a movie where you say, these are our

three big jokes and then over time those get on the back burner and these weird lines come out. It's the throwaway, the quirky ones. If you're going to spew, spew into this. But the rhythm of it, sometimes I would lose it. Just I'd start sounding more like a regular stoner dude. But the whole key is that guy tucking like this, those sort of rhythms. Yeah, I could do it. I could do it. That part is infectious to me. But anyway, thanks for being my guest today.

Let's talk more about me. Wait, one thing side note is that I would get in arguments with Sandler about it because he never did DVD extras or outtakes. Yeah. I was always like, like we have so much fun filming and I'm like, dude, there's so much great material here for a DVD. And he's like, and he goes, yeah, nobody, you know, everybody else does that. He's like, I don't want to do it.

And I was just so bummed because people would love it. I agree with you. I crack up all the time. Yeah, he doesn't really like you. But David, so it's not true. He's my best friend. Oh, that's funny because we were just laughing about you. Peter Sellers, they'd have to shut down the set.

I mean, they would literally he could not keep a straight face. They just go home at the end of being there. They have outtakes of Peter Sellers and he just can't hold it together. Yeah. He was notorious. Hours and hours could not get one take. That's amazing. I didn't know that. Yeah. Look at, just go on YouTube, being there, Peter Sellers outtakes. It's at the end of the movie, but it's fascinating. Really a guy that brilliant, you know, I love that stuff. I mean, recently on Saturday night live, they had the

Beavis and Butt-Head sketch where everybody broke basically. Yeah, I saw that. And Heidi Gardner, which I talked to Lorde about it. And she wasn't ready for because Mikey Day had escalated the makeup, so she wasn't prepared for it. So her looking and not even getting the giggles and trying to stop look and then just completely burst out laughing. It was an irresistible laugh for me at home.

Yeah. I was like just losing it all completely. No pretense like trying to hold it. Yeah. That was really funny. Mikey day is hilarious. By the way, I used to watch him before when he was doing sketches on like funny or Die and stuff. He's such a talent. And a great writer as well. Yeah, really brilliant. Nick, say the name of your special again and say the tour so we get it out there for everyone. July 18th, YouTube, Make Joke from Face is the special. Okay.

And then in the fall is Toilet Head, Nick Swartz and.net. You have the best names. Nick Swartz and.net. You have the best names. Nick Swartz and.net. Just those two are the best names. Yeah. Make joke from face. Well, it's like, seriously, who farted? I remember when I was meeting with Comedy Central

and that was my first hour special and they're like, what do you want to call it? And I go, seriously, who farted? And they're like, oh, that's funny. But seriously, what do you want to call it? They didn't believe me. Exactly. And I was like, seriously, who farted? And they're like, oh, that's funny. But seriously, what do you wanna call it? They didn't believe me. Exactly. And I was like, seriously, who farted?

And they're like, oh, you're serious. That's what you wanna call it, name it your special. Oh. And I'm like, I don't take myself seriously. When comedians take themselves seriously or try to make a cool name for a special or try to sound cool, it's just like, get over yourself.

You know what's interesting about names like that is that eventually at some production meeting, maybe for some other thing, they'll refer to Toilet Head casually. Well, we were shooting Toilet Head in San Jose, you know? And when we shot Toilet Head, you know, Nick wanted six cameras. We had five, I believe, for Toilet Head.

Was it five for Toilet Head? Yeah. So that'll happen. So that that'll happen. And that, so that joke lives on as soon as people refer to it in a serious way. That's WF. Yeah, totally. Well, that's why when I, when I thought of seriously who farted, I was hoping so bad to get nominated for a Grammy for the album, cause I just wanted someone to

say that on stage, Trevor Noah, seriously who farted? And next up, the nominees are Nick Swartzen, seriously who farted? And then the crowd would be like, what? What is it? Are they asking somebody who farted? And Dua Lipa is like, are you talking to me? And eventually it will be truncated.

You know, I was shooting Farted, I directed Farted and yeah, I was on Seriously. Seriously who farted? I'm trying to, what's the funniest accent to say that? Seriously who farted? Maybe it's Garth. Nick Swanson. Seriously who farted? I feel like a lot of people farted on Wayne's World.

Seriously who farted? During the shooting. All right, Dana, I mean, what's your name, Nick? Thank you, Nick. Nick Swartz, thanks for having me. Nick Swartz, one of the funniest guys in America. Go watch his show, watch us. Make joke from face.

Make joke from face. And his tour, Toilet head coming to a town near you. He will not be at Beaver Creek, Colorado on this particular tour, but soon he'll be at 12,000 feet. He's playing the Swiss Alps at 14,000 feet. My next special, I want to do 90,000 feet and take a bunch of mushrooms from the space station. All right. I love you guys. All right. Bye guys. You're my favorite people ever. You're hilarious. From the space station. All right.

I love you guys. Bye, guys. You're two of my favorite people ever. You're hilarious. Love you, Nick. Thanks for coming on. Namaste. This has been a presentation of Odyssey.

Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all this stuff, smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts. Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.