Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Rob Schneider (Part 2)

Episode Date: August 12, 2022

Il Cantore, Copy-Machine Guy, and "you can do it" with Rob Schneider. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whether you're doing a dance to your favorite artist in the office parking lot, or being guided into Warrior I in the break room before your shift, whether you're running on your Peloton tread at your mom's house while she watches the baby, or counting your breaths on the subway. Peloton is for all of us, wherever we are whenever we need it. Download the free Peloton app today. Peloton app available through free tier or paid subscription starting at 1299 per month. Oh, I always say that when Rob and I were there for the four shows, I think what we don't realize, even though we didn't get a sketch on, in quotes, but being at the rear at table

and being around the office, you can just tell if you're in the game that long like they were Yeah, just by saying we're pitching throwaway jokes in sketches on rewrites I think just hearing someone talk at lunch or dinner or hearing pitches by the end you can go they've got game or not Like they can tell like just from what I heard the little bits We're on the right track with these guys because I'm sure they went to Downey Lawrence and what do you think? Do you want these two clowns back and then you know smile? I'll tell you something that's important as well and that and especially Lauren like he wants to hire people He can go to dinner with yeah

He wants to hire people that really have a high social IQ in the room and you to qualify for that as far as Integrating in with everybody you guys had a lot of charm and you wouldn't over talk, you'd insert, you know, and so that, part of the reason you're there besides your great comedy chops was just social skills and Lauren really picks up on that, you know. You get along well and I just wanna say, I'm gonna tear up, but Rob, who wrote Il Cantori?

Cause that was my favorite moments I ever did on the show. And I did not write. That was influenced by an experience that Adam and I had. Well, first of all, I went over to, I mean, it's a weird thing, but like money, how I equate success, you know, is something like, my parents, when they spent money on a couch, they bought a new couch and they immediately covered it

in this quality, high, thick, polyurethane plastic. And it wouldn't let, when they still wouldn't let us sit on it. Because it was really nice. Oh, you good? So that was like, you know, we have money for a couch now. Don't fuck it up. This is our kettle. Oh yeah.

She never stood on it. Don't look at it. He's it for guests and then the guests come over and their special guests will unzip the plastic. So I've always, so that's the way I equate, like, you know, fame and success as a couch. So I want to add them to... How do you connect them? I don't know what I'm going to do. Unzip into plastic.

Unzip it. So I want to add them to a unzipped brand new couch at Adam's, I said, he must be making money. This is a new couch. It was like a little couch in a sense. And then, so we started, you know, by the second season, we're making a little bit of money. So then we had girlfriend's too, which is another sign of success. One of the reasons, well, by the second season, we're making a little bit of money. So then we had Girlfriends, too, which is another sign of success.

One of the reasons, well, let's be honest, we really got into, it's wanted to get into show business, because I like, you know, when I played Trombone and the marching band and in high school, I said, this is not, not a panicked rapper. I'm gonna get a supermodel.

This is not gonna anywhere close, I said, what is it gonna do? What can I do better than this? So, and so we can, well, stand up. For a second. For the Lonely Hearts Club that I was part of, once you are forced to act confident, stand on a platform and dominate a room,

even if you're just pretending, your stock goes up with young girls. So it is a zanna, too. I like a certain comedians like Norma Knoll. Yeah, you got about 45 minutes to close the deal when you're done Because you know the women the power it did depreciates after you're on stage as a Jesus guys like a scientist I'm getting late after getting a while the power Cafe where they're this girl that you couldn't even talk to in high school is flirting with you and then they're announcing your name

I got to go and high school is flirting with you, and then they're announcing your name. I gotta go. Yeah. You know, man. It was a great night. Sorry, sorry. So anyways, I'm at Adam Sandler's place. He's got a new couch, and I go, we have a nice.

We've changed. And then we have girl friends, a good-looking girl friends, and all of a sudden, so we go to a place that we wouldn't have gone the first season. Because I remember, like, he lived, his dad knew somebody who had like a, so he had like a couple of months for the first time, the first season at SNL,

just in case, you know, wasn't workout. Above this restaurant on Madison Avenue, and it was a little apartment that he got for like, you know, for a few months. And I remember the place was so expensive downstairs. It was like the turkey sandwich was $17. What the fuck? So it was split a turkey sandwich. I said, you and It was like the turkey sandwich was $17. What the fuck? I said, we'll split a turkey sandwich.

I said, you and I will split a turkey sandwich. And then we'll eat downstairs. And it's one of those fancy places so you kind of it's cool to hang out there. So by the time we started making a little bit of money, the second season, we take the girlfriends, we go to little Italy, let's show off a little bit. And it's a tie-in, guys.

We'll have this. We'll have this. There we go. Yeah, I'll have you there. I'll have you there. I'll have you there. I'm out of here that I'm kissing your girl friend They kissing her girlfriend Yeah, so kissing and kissing up and down And the hug also seemed like

The hug was also very familiar Yeah, it was like, aww, and they just let them And we go like, well, we're happy to be here But it was a lot, but that sunk in something really the Adam Syke about that and I remember he went off And I had a great office on the 17th floor that actually you could see the Empire State Building is like this is ridiculous This is like this is it's all I get it's all incredible It's amazing so and then and just being on the 17th floor, and go like, well, who did Accurate have this office? I was always in the last show.

And then, so Adam came in with Robert Smigel, and they can't talk. And they're literally like, it's two o'clock, two-thirty in the morning, just like the mornin' and the mornin' is good. It's gotta be even Smigel. That's when the good stuff starts to come, because the structural side of your brain gets really really tight and the goose

Side takes over and these guys are coming in and they're literally Giggling and and just falling off and they just literally hand me this piece pieces of paper and it was typed at that time So they've got it typed in and you hand it to me and they're watching me and I'm reading the sketch Balisi my were the kissing and they, to be in front of the car. And they watched me. They watched me just to make sure that they weren't just being goofy. Crazy.

Yeah. And they watched me and I was reading it and I fell on the floor, rolling, laughing. And they said, we got something here. God damn. And then Adam and I, you know, we know that Dana was gonna murder. Yeah, you have to bring in the big guys.

Dana would have another level of commitment. We're just like, there was a level of commitment. You expect this and then Dana would just, you know, we just would go off the edge. It was panties from heaven for me. Yeah. You have to write a lot of stuff. But when you get something handed to you,

that's a crusher. It's physically funny and then every other way funny. You almost have to wait for a week to come. It's for people, it's one of the most famous sketches in our era there, where the Italian waiters are kissing and hug. And then you know, you being one of the Italian waiters, you combine, you lick courtesy of the face.

She was a gamer. She's what I call a broad. She was great. I clicked the shit out of her face. I said, are you okay with this? She goes, oh yeah. I'm so excited. I'm making a shit out of her.

She isn't a fucking crusher, he's a very cool. And then Adam was like, we shared a dressing room for years and he said, and he looked at me. And he's a bit of a hairy guy. And he's got one of those hockey legs. Like there's the Northeasterner kind of guy that's thought of as a hairy leg. He's got a hockey ass.

He's actually pretty good skater. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's actually like, we were during like, the second season, I remember we're walking to go to get something to eat, and it was snow on the street, and he would like run out and during a stop, doing those stop light, and he'd get behind a cab

and sneak behind a cab, and he'd let the cab pull him. And then this is shoes on the ice. Just his tennis shoes on the ice. Oh, yeah. And then he would like, and then he'd bump his shoes. And then that would like, and then he bought a true thigh. And then if he wouldn't even handle it, and he'd be just good skater,

good guy, and I'm like, shit. And I said, dude, you're famous, you're gonna get, you're gonna get smashed. He didn't need anything extra going on. He already had everything going on. Yeah. So then, he also could do that. And then he asked me,

he said, hey, he said, I'm should I shave my pubes? And I went absolutely. And I just knew it was gonna grow back and he was gonna be an agony for a couple of weeks and I was gonna enjoy that. And so he's preparing, he's got this like diaper on. Before, and he just blew his teeth.

Oh, shaved the pubes for the bit. And yeah, so he's there before we're in the dressing room. And he said, should I shave my pubes for the Italian waiters bit? Cause he comes out in the diaper basically. Well, the, with his ass hanging out. And I said, absolutely, Adam shaved the shit out of that. And then with his ass hanging out and I said absolutely out of him. Save the shit out of that.

And then he did and then and I came out and I was ass naked and that was one of the sensor who was the time in our era Andrew Bruce. Andrew Bruce yes please don't show your ass please please I beg you I'll get fired please please please I beg you beg you because then they were laughing so hard when especially when you're humping Victoria Jackson. I want to ask from your point of view about that, because how do we get to that? Where I go as the waiter, I lick Christie's face,

I do a la la la la, I go back and somehow Victoria and I have some debate or something, then I lean her down on the table. Did I do that in the dress show? No, I didn't. It didn't, okay. You, what happened was like a lot of times, you take something, oh this is funny,

let's do it more and more. And by the dress rehearsal, it was screamingly funny. And then it was another level. And then, Farley also was like, was pumping the window at the end. Yeah. So it was a thing, and then it was one of the, I forgot Farley was a,

one of the few sketches, and the biggest tag of any sketch I was ever involved in was usually you don't have a good ending for something But Kevin Neeland who was the date of course the alley said let's go to a hey, this is too much Let's go to the this is a Greek restaurant on the street Which is like oh my god, and was a screaming life at the end. I remember being four feet away from you four feet away from From Adam and we're looking at each other with that slight little grin because I never liked being one of those guys who ever broke I never broke I just didn't respect that it wasn't part of the tradition of

the SNL and I know that they did after we left or after my years there you're not allowed not to lie but I looked at him and there was a look at our face like we couldn't hear each other do our lines yeah but we knew it so well that we like it's just murdering. Like especially when I came out, it was just scream when I came out because I just got my ass came out. You know, you come out naked.

I came out so centorial and so straight and so no sense your ass is hanging out. You're just, you're bare and you're just acting so regular. Yes, that was very, that was something that the audience had never had seen at all. Yeah, which is so good to not comment on yeah And just commit to the stuff, you know, which was what you need to do But there's a little bit of you're enjoying it also. It's always behind the eyes when I have Victoria's legs in the air And I'm having a kind of an argument with you guys what the but that what are you doing?

And that's going I can't really even hear myself the Because the visual of it Victoria of course was such a gamer. Oh, yeah, and the that's was a perfect part for her So you guys wrote and produced a perfect sketch basically that was the best one I mean that there was some some that were Some just stand out. I'm just like well that was there's just there are things that are you can't deny Pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, pues, Another thing that a little gem that the great thing a carvy gave me. He was, because you have frustrating, you don't know how the business is. I didn't know anyone in it. My mom was a teacher, war survivor. My dad had his own trauma in his youth.

There's a suicide, his father committed suicide, so I've raised, but I didn't know anything. I had fragile, very fragile parents who were also really, really had a violent straight to, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. And I don't know, but Dana gave'm doing. And I don't know. But Dana gave me this thing because you have this fire in you. But it's like, I tell my own kids, I said,

and I got luckily beautiful little kids in it. So you got a fire in you. Fire is very instructive. It can cook your dinner, but it can also burn the house down. And Dana said, very instructive man, never forgets. One of the things that you keep on. What would I say? You said, you don't have to let people know how hungry you are

That was informative because it's like I want this fucking thing so bad And look at these and go yeah, calm down. Sit and you said get so good. They can't deny you I'm still may not get the job. Yeah But get so good to can't deny and then and then they go well, yeah, well that guy's amazing that guy's great But we got to hire the more famous guy and that that keeps you going for for years Drama when you're starting out and clubs a lot of drama and you can get into the drama with the dysfunctional comics I should be a headliner. I know I got that and just look at your own feet Staying laying and just become undeniable but but who takes you side and gives you that kind of information?

And then also the witness to it. And he said, we had a great drive down to LA one time, stayed at your apartment. And I was like, this is beautiful. This is gonna be my future. I'll move down here. This is gonna be amazing. I love it.

I love it guys going to LA. I love it. And he's like, no, this, and then like, and I remember it's like, you were on that TV show where they like, clearly the most, you know, I said, this is the most talented guy I know and they don't know how to use him. And they let you have five minutes

to do whatever you wanted at the end of that TV series, which were you play to helicopter pilot. Oh, that, yeah. And I was like, Blue Thunder, Blue Thunder. I never should have done that stuff. That was my own, but that's just kidding a job.

You gotta get it. Like, because I was so, they wanted to, have me do a TV show. I didn't put done that stuff. That was my own, but that's just getting a job. You got to get like because I was so I they want to do have me do a TV show. I did it with after that I just focus on standup for the last two years before I know, but it wasn't really informative to it I said like well if they can't he's the most talented guy. I know most talented guy out of the San Francisco This is the guy and it's like and if this if he's having a problem here What the hell am I worried about? And that actually was very informative as well.

So well, the shit, it's hard. And so that's why when you do a thousand editions, like we did, you know, and like the thing about was cool about spade was he had already done a movie. That was like amazing. Because I used to cater me. That was like an enigma in a, you know, it's crazy. I was already on set for 10 weeks. It was a cat or me. That was like an enigma in a, you know, it's crazy. I was already inside for 10 weeks.

And, but you know, Robbie, we got, the balls you had was when things were cooking quicker for you, you got offered a movie and you said, no. I think it was the one with Michael J. Foxx and he was the one with the fight nurse. And there's also Peter Jackson. I should have said yes, but this is crypto. I think it was 300. I was have said yes, but the script was terrible.

I think it was 300 grand. I was like, it was his first American movie, but it was called Abra Kadaver, which is like, oh my God, this sounds like a career ender. That's the great, but it wasn't a great, but I would have, no, it was I think 300 grand, because I was more torn up by the newer,

I was like, he's turning the fucking back. But you also the boss, right? I said it's some shitty, you You wrote copy machine when we were just being told every day, don't put yourself in two lines. Well, that was a thing. And then you wrote your own sketch and I was like, the balls. And then it got on. And I was like, wait, that's even possible. But that's the dangling carrot. Cause like when Lauren hired us to get to a little vague, right?

You said like what? Well, I said, but I want to be a performance. We're going to hire you. Are we going's a little vague, right? You said like, well, I said, but I want to be a performer. I said, we're gonna hire you. That's a common. I'm gonna hire you as a writer, like we, like a, so good, but we're gonna hire you as a writer. Because that's what happened after I got, I didn't do the, didn't meet with him

because I went and do a $75 gig and shit. My dad said, I did look. And San Diego, then I freaked out. And then I really got nervous because then they flew us back to New York and we had to perform for the writers at catch. And they didn't laugh once in the whole time. They just want to see if you're gonna get shaken.

That's it. Lauren, when I was, he pushed me a little bit. Do you have anything else or is it just that? I mean, he literally tried to shake me, not at the club, he saw me at a club, but at the little audition. So yeah, that is a show of rattles you. You don't give it up.

You don't, you don't, you don't. Yeah, but there was a thing about, like, remember when the ears burning off my face, I was saying, I remember at that point, I had to say to myself, okay, you just got annihilated, physically, emotionally, spiritually, in every way you can. And I said, I just said to myself,

you cannot let this get you. And you have to, I said, I'm willing to let them get to me till here. And it was like my belt. I'm gonna let this affect me here, but not all the way to my feet. I'm not gonna let that happen. And so when I was eating at that night, just get through this man, get through this.

They saw you be funny, just get through it, get through it, and I walked out of there and I was shaken by it, but not broken. And that was the key, because on live TV, you can't shake. You can't be broken, you gotta stand in there and I was shaken by it, but not broken. And that was the key because on live TV, you can't shake, you can't be broken, you gotta stand in there and do it. And it's just a repetitive nature of it and just getting stealing, getting tough. And then to the other level to enjoy it,

that's where you wanna get to. And that takes, took me a little time, to truly enjoy it. And then also to deal with the pressure of it. And because that is, I mean, that's why like when we first got there, I remember you and I, look like, what is everybody complaining about? It's the greatest thing ever. And like four years later, it's like,

boy, it just, it does wear you down. Sure. 100 hour weeks. So when you, so it's like a dream come true, when you got copy machine guy, what, what was that feeling? Because then you get on the show. When you get there and you see like,

wow, something's popping. These people get under restaurants quicker than me. You say like, I feel hard, and you got Dana Carb. You get these murderers row up there. And then, but you also know, like, I know I can get this enough, I just got to get on there. And then, you know, I remember when the first year, late, it was late, in 1990 when Adam Sandler was hired.

And this is a guy, it was late, in 1990 when Adam Sandler was hired. And this is a guy, it was so cute because his first week was there, we wrote a sketch together. And I said, come on, I'll show you how it's done. Like I know I've been there before, shows by then. And then, he, and Mary, he stayed up online is I little eyes were puffy. And we wrote this thing for ourselves

and then still have the big legs though. Yeah, so I wanna picture Adam. And we wrote it and then ourselves and then still have the big legs though We wrote it and then They took it away from us and then gave it to like was gonna be I think it was good And then heart-bond and they said like well, I said well, what do we have to in a gentle gentle way? What do we have to do to to get on ourselves here? And there was very instructive too. He said When and there's Downey said, when you could perform something, when you write something that you could perform better than other people, then we'll get it on. And I said, okay, Bingo, I'll come up with something. And I'd like to write

in further people because I enjoyed also the thrill of like when you performed a piece that was probably the best one I had ever written for any piece. And you had a way of like, you would like, it was like at the wave, a really great comedian, as opposed to like a sketch player, maybe could do it too, but a comedian in a big room can ride the wave and before it's coming down, you know, three quarters, two quarters, no one to come up with that other line.

And it was a massive hairy head wound. Oh, so you're kind of the main architect of that sketch. I wrote that. Well, with Adam, but that was me. Well, double, double things, because I'm writing a rocket in that. And of course, what we talked about the podcast, the dog thing at the end was, you can't beat a dog going dog.

You can't. But the thing about it was the dog and the dress rehearsal. Yes, what did you guys do? With the dog and dress rehearsal, we said, okay, well, we can't have it rabid, but like, they said to us, you know what I don't know, anything about dogs, and they just said, well, if we don't feed it, it's going to,

it'll get to do what we want by the time. And they knew it, so they fed it a little bit, so it was curious. It was curious to address. It's a truck address. And it was absolutely famished. Did you put more was it baby food you put on the Post it was liver baby food we put on and I fucking put it on it I just I just I kicked on there. Yeah, and it was a beautiful thing where like because it was literally ripping off the side of your head

It was a weak prosthetic with a bloody the dog went for it basically prosthetic with a bloody the dog went for it basically and massive it wanted it wanted it on air it wanted it massive area head wound was a guy who should not be at a party was at a party and just with a big head wound and it's just you know is getting everybody is just like he's trying to normalize it which is great somebody a crazy person in a room

yeah in a situation where you're never trying to treat you normally and then he's got this wrapped in he's giant head when they're reacting and he's like, this is a punch bowl and there's a thing. And then at the end, there's a... I take a nap, take a nap, and the dog goes down. And it was a, one of those things where you're watching it and it's just, it's going really good

and you're just like, oh, come on, please get going. Keep going, get to this, get to this. And then when the dog literally went, let me just, really went to get it. Went to get it, because it knew where it was, it was hungry. And then you did this beautiful thing where you snuck your hand up on the other side.

Okay, go on to hold it. And I was in a desk store with that dog. And you were also, because it was like your eye, your eyeball, you're literally your right eye. It's right, you were literally, well you were like four inches away from this very hungry dog, and you just kind of rode it

Road it and then you had the the wear with all to remember to let the audience Can as it as that screaming laugh is coming down the throwin that like yeah My dog Must smell my dog yeah, but you had these you had almost yell it. Yeah, I had to kind of yell it. And the thing was back to our generation of not breaking. The sketch went so beautifully. I did not want it to be about the prosthetic coming off. Yeah. So by consequence, the the battle extended so long that and I turned someone lawn watching the monitor, which always we always want to make Lauren helpless. And it was helpless, with laughter.

But anyway, Rob, what can I do for you? I mean, those are, you do. It's the least I can do to pay you back. You've got to do it for me. You did it for me. When you do, Rob and I both had this problem where, you know, you're writing that first year, even second year for me, and you're putting your stuff

and even smaller parts and they go, give that to Dan, give it to Mike Myers, give it to, and you have to keep taking yourself out So the one way in his update because you're by yourself you can try to get something on that was like key Was the anniversary especially the guitar and your your copy machine But I think the host was staying the first time you did it. Well the first time I did it was with Joe Pesci no no Joe. Maintain you. And I remember it was so crushed

because I finally had a monster. It was one of the things I said, when, because Jim Downey noticed it's a kind of like a goofy, too happy to be here kind of attitude, you know, was this. And he said, you gotta do a character called the lurker. It kind of got his hanging around. But truthfully, and I gave him credit,

but truthfully the cop who should go, I had nothing to do with that really. It was just a guy, what the truth of the real, the really came from when we first got there to SNL. Remember before we got the really good office, they gave you, there was so many cast members, I think 17 at the time. That the first time a really big cast.

There was a giant cast, where literally the crawl of the show was actually longer than like the monologue. It was like 17 and this and coast air. And then the feature player, it was like, Ellen Klaighorn and David Van Rochreider and Adam Sandler, it went on Melanie Holtzol. So we were in like a half of a half an office.

And so I had the cooling and heating vent in mind. So it was either boiling or freezing in there. So I and I have claustrophobia because I have two older brothers and put me in sleeping bags and closets my childhood. So like I can't stand and close place. I hate it. And so I would go out into the into the main writers room. And I noticed when everyone's walking back and forth, you can't be as excited the fourth and fifth time when you see, know Kevin Neal and so Kevin was a wise Kevin all right Kevin

Kevin's your door is open and he came and played with the idea Yeah, what do you want buddy? What's that Kevin? You know and that was it was it was like and I said you had to come up And then I was went to New Orleans for the weekend Just to you know take off some pressure and I thought like well. There's got to be a reason why people would come into contact with this annoying person. They didn't want to put him somewhere else. And I just can't, I just can't, I just can't put him in a coffee machine. That was it, simple, but I remember,

like people were laughing so hard at read through, which was like, to me, the real, to me, the real democracy, you know, there's no such thing as a democracy in show business, but that was the most democratic thing I've ever experienced. If you wrote a sketch, it was right in front of everybody. And that was pretty damn amazing. So if you murdered with everybody, it's absolutely that's good.

And I think that I would use the word inexplicability, like making copies, it's all not a punchline. You know, it's all the absurdity and rhythm to it. But it's also just kind of a nerd in an office, leaning back, trying to be friendly. I mean, it works on a lot of levels. And you come here and have a kind of a funny way, and we always had a big by that time, because it was just like on the LBC.

Yeah, LBC. And he was like, he was a guy that you also, he kind of kind of gentle, and nobody wanted to hurt his feelings, but he was also annoying. And so it was a nice combination of this vulnerability. Siling. Yeah, vulnerability is a big one.

Yeah, yeah. And then people, I remember, I remember that, like, as I did it with Joe Montana, and they said, we're gonna cut it for time. We're gonna save it. Oh, and I want to like save it. Terrific. It's a day I've been in my tears.

I've waited all these years, I'm 25. I gotta make it now. Who's this guy? The guy with a gloss, the naked guy with a gloss. But how would you not give it to the host? I mean, always the trick is, if you write some of the hosts, that's the best shot. Usually, they knew that, well, if you could perform it better

and that sing-song-e-ness to it. Yeah, I mean, the rhythm just did. I don't know if it's perfect, guys. For the right, so. So when did it first kill? Who was the hosting thing? Sting, well, yeah, he's got to come out of the gate. Yeah. And people got into the rhythm early into that sketch.

Well, it's the first line. Third time, the third line, Kevin. And they said, hey, you have anything else going on? It's a, all right, Kevin, ask them me questions. Kevinator, Kevin, and that one, they laugh. The second one, Kevin. You know, just there's no new information happening. I was saying to stay in the world.

Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don't, don't, don, don, don, don, don't, don't, don, don, don, don, don, don't, don, don, don't, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, know, the, you know, the year, the weight of you having to open every show for years was they said, we're gonna do, we're gonna do another one of those. They said, we have a very, very rare thing here, a character that, that people love. And it said, it was a very rare, the rarest of things here. And it said, we're gonna do another one. And then he had the idea of the copy machine breaking down.

And that was the best one, we did remember and that was phenomenal That was like because you got to see his whole world crushed. Oh crushed, you know the cops How does he react to that? Well, they're just like well, they're taking the machine out. There's no reason for him So then no one have contact with him anymore his world is taking apart It's really So what is he saying? You're saying?

You know, it's just he just got crushed and then they You know, it's just he just got crushed. And then they brought it back in it. But you got to see him, he's like devastated. And I just remember laughing. But the first time we did it, the read through, Jim was dying laughing because of the rhythm. It was a rhythm of a rhythm of a rhythm. And by the time it was like,

and there was just a pummeling of it. And he was dying laughing at it. It's great to make Jim laugh. This is the one that's gonna get on. And Jim would give it up. That was the key to it. He was interested in us as young guys and I think fed off the energy.

But also if he found something funny, he was very generous. You know, that wasn't always the case with people, you know, because like, you know, like, you know, Jay Leno was like, was another influence like Bob Fisher, that was a manager, he said, and I was a young comedian, and he said, you're gonna pick, Jay Leno was like, was another influence like Bob Fisher, that was a manager He said and I was a young comedian. He said, you're gonna pick up Jay Leno

He's got a gig in San Jose. You're gonna take him to the radio and I know you know, Saram. Just go your you grew up here You're gonna you know like the back your hand take him wherever he wants to go. So Jay Leno Which is a great Jay Leno story. I that that's that's an old one. You get to hear this one But so I pick up Jason's It's very nice clean car and so You know, he pick them and say hey, you see you drive me to the gang. Yeah, yeah, okay I mean, you know, so you're driving and I'm not saying anything. I'm just driving there and You know, well good then you know good Chinese right? I think I know the best Mr

Loneau so I took them to that the place that my dad knew was like for wealthy people where they would go We would go to different places. It's just as as good food, not as expensive, just as good as that place. So I took him to that place, you know. And he said, well, yeah, come on in here. I don't eat my part by myself, you know. And I guess I wasn't going to go and sit with him. He said, but he didn't. He said, so what are you a comedian?

And I said, yes. I said, how much time do you have? I said, I got about eight minutes. He said, good, you know, most comedians are asking how much time? I got two hours. I got two hours. Who wants to hear two hours of comedy material? You either have five minutes of kills every, good, you know, most comedians ask him, my time, I got two hours, hey, you just, who else to hear two hours, a comedy material, you either have,

you either have five minutes of kills every time, everywhere, everywhere you go, any place, oh, you don't have anything, you just got to get, and so he said, working, so I spent the next six months, just only trying to get that killer five and that was really helpful. But the J-Loan story was really funny around that time.

He was doing this bit on, on Letterman go, where is it, what's your beef, man? Where are you telling me my beef? Let me on on Letterman go. What's your beef? I tell you my beef. Yeah, I tell you there. And he would do this bit and it was a monster. You know, like you and I opened for him. Yes, I was in 1985. The two of us, both of us.

Okay, because I did open for him a few years ago. I was the opening act. You would come in and you did the you did a half and then he did an hour. Okay. And we both sat back and went like, wow, this guy, just, just got, we have our killer bits. This guy has every bit is a killer bit. That's what we said to each other when we were watching.

And it was at the, um, the, the, the, the, the palace of finance. House of finance, yes, yes. Yeah. And it was like a professional comedian in the sense that every bit would flow to the next bit and was tagging his McDonald's, hey, McDonald's trainee, how do youging his McDonald's. Hey McDonald's training.

How do you be a McDonald's training? I'm gonna get the milkshake for you. And it was all killing. And it's like, yeah. I had to hand that Buick 1955 Buick into the candy can. You run into a toy, he just holds it off. He runs around and you hold it off. Then you keep driving.

And he's smoking a pipe back stage and I got off. Maybe before he went on. He always had a pipe. Literally. Literally days ago. Hey, you need more junk, Smiths, the copy. He was kinda right, because I'm just doing Chappenbrookaly, Chappenbrookaly,

so I assume Jay would be like, you know, you need more junks, you know. But he, and he rode a motorcycle on the stage. He bought Brockley. Yeah, he always was on a motorcycle on the stage. He bought Brockley, that's a funny thing that happened though. Yes, that's it. There was a comedian who did an impression of Jay.

Early, because we can all do, we're all, I'm like, through an impression, and we're not. We all got that. You know, it's like, you know, once somebody breaks it, and then you get your gun out of this, everybody has it.

So there was a guy who did an early impression of Jay, and what he did back then, remember there's like a comedy magazine or a comedy list of one of your spots would you, you know, so if you had, if you were, you know, like Jay Leno or Jerry Seinfeld, you could buy a whole page, which was like, you know, just for laughs and his favorite.

Yeah, so you can, and then it would promote, and it would end it out of the different Congo. So, you know, in these playing, this auditorium city center, and this is another one way ahead of us. Yeah, and like, he were very promoting and big, you know, whatever, and so, but what happened was there was a comedian who saw where Jay was playing.

So he would call up and say, yeah, this is Jay, yeah, yeah, you can do it. You can do it. And then, you know, he's got it one thing that when I show up at the airport, you're gonna have to have 25,000 cash at the airport when you pick me up. And so Jay would fly to this place and they go, Jay, thanks for coming.

And here's your cash. You go, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, is it was a and they go, Jay, thanks for coming. And here's the cash. What do you want to do with it? Is it? It's a 25,000? Yes. And that's for 25,000. What are you talking about? Who went to that?

And it's like, it's it. And then he would go to another place, you know, and the guy would call ahead of the the ACJM point. I need to, oh my God. That's you're going to have a, I need the 25,000 in 25,000 in a brown paper bag, and you have it at the airport. You gotta do it, I'm not gonna do the gig. And so the guy showed up, hey Jay, here's a 25,000, what is this?

25,000, so what's 25,000? Yes, Jay, you asked her, you know, 25,000 and she's like, hey, what the hell's going on here? Hey, me tell you what you're doing. He's happening to us. He ain't gotta go down here. And so what he did was, he called, he finally figured out what was going on here.

So he called, he said, listen, if you get the guy, it calls up and says he's me. Just get his number. And then he got his number, this comedian. Uh-oh, who's doing it? And then he found out the guy's name. And when he, and the best part of the story, he was going to, he was auditioning for Jim McCauley

for the tonight show. He said, let me know when he, when he, when he think I want to. So before they bring him up, Jay said, let me just go up and do some time. Jay goes up, does 45 minutes of his killer shit at the comedy magic club before this guy goes on and blows out the room. And Jay could blow out any room he wanted and blew it out to there's this nothing left and then this guy went on after and just ate it didn't get the shot.

I'm pretty guilty and 78 after more comming I did a couple. I don't know this is Rubin. I need a million dollars cash. That's the next one. That's the day the car resets. I think you can throw her. Got to help. I need a million to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this.

I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this.

I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this.

I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. I'm gonna have to do this. the great Bobby Slate and Mike Pritchard, Jake Johansson, Milt Abel, Larry, both as Brown, Mark Pitta, Bob Sarla, Mark McCollum, and many, many more that came up in that early scene with us. Let me see that, and Robin Williams was the Godfather of that scene.

So before the internet, before cell phones, Robin would show up at the Holy City Zoo and then people on the street would hear about it and then I can see you know it's packed, people would be running to get in there and then he'd do an hour at least. Oh yeah. And then he'd leave and if the drunk people stayed then we'd have an audience. And so more times than that, the audience would come to see him and hopefully he'd show up. And more times than that he did because he was just addicted to it and then and loved it and

so we had a scene thanks to him there was like at one point on one street on one block there were three places to do stand up. Last day saloon had it on like Mondays whatever. Holis cities who implemented street and six and then there was a place across the street that would do it on like Tuesdays. Yeah a bar you know we were there pre clubs the across the street that would do it on like Tuesdays. Yeah, a bar, you know. We were there pre clubs. The clubs, the first club got built in 1979, proper club, that was the punchline.

That punchline, that was like a whole new punchline. When you did that, they paid you $25 a little bit more. That was amazing. But like, and also just seeing like, you know, there's a star lot. Star lot had like a real job in show business. Bob Star lot. He was like on TV, which is incredible. He was a sidekick for Letterman on Letterman's morning show.

On the morning show. That was ridiculous. But he had like, would do spots on TV and was always smooth and a totally professional guy. Kind of like that kind of the charisma of like a Leno, which is, which is settling. The audience could be totally relaxed watching him. And then, like Slayton would murder

and do really edgy material that like, and get away with it, and just get to the point where the audience was pushing back, but then, and dance around it, and make jokes off, not apologizing for it. And that was a really like very instructive way, and he would destroy a room. Like literally like, that I said,

well, you have to learn what a headline or is. You had to learn what an MC is, what like a middle act, and you see like, you see Dana Carvey, he was like, well, that's a superstar, but then you see like, you see Bobby Slate, solid headline or is. Bobby Slate was a solid headline

or is gonna work everywhere, and that's what you gotta do. But that wasn't my style, because my style was more offstanding and uncomfortable. So I was good for 20. So I was good for 20. Yeah, I would be good for 10, 15, 20, was interesting and different,

bring the audience to me, and but that's not a headliner. Headliner, you gotta go out and you gotta pummel, and that's different. But in the last 15, when you come back to stand up, you've done several specials, you've done great, you know. That, you've become a great stand know. That you've become a great, great stand up.

You have to change in a jab because you also have to adapt to what their expectations are. Yeah, what's your famous? What's your famous, your famous, copy machine, whatever. They've seen your movies. And also all the movies, like you mentioned, I'm a questioner.

I was gonna say, if we're gonna wrap up precious San Francisco, you also did on S, S, A, Air, Arizona, and give my job. And Larry Bumpel's brand. These guys didn't move to LA, that did on S.S. Air is on it and give my job. Larry Bumpel's brand. These guys didn't move to LA, that was the problem. Yeah, yeah, and they became San Francisco treats, you know, like famous San Francisco.

Yeah, I know. But you have to make the sacrifice and come down and eat shit for a while in addition for a thousand. But a lot of people was like, they didn't want to mess with how comfortable things were. I never understood that. Like making that your thing,

because I think it was Rick Overton and said, hey, the cameras are down there, buddy. You know, it's funny. Let's go to where the cameras are. You have to. Rich Shidener. Hey, did it say, it says here, you dated Julia Sweeney.

I don't remember that. No. I don't know why they did that. That's stuff like, like, it's on the internet. It's like, you had a phrase called, you can do it, is that true? Well, that was, I didn't understand that. Adam asked me to be in one of his early movies.

He asked me to be in like the, to play the part that Ben Stiller did in Happy Gilmore. And it's a view because of this playing. You know, I have a chemistry and day that you guys are part of that world. There was a thing where, there was a comfort level where like, and I finally told Adam, he said,

listen, I said, stop. He said, you got to put other famous people in these movies. You don where like, and I finally told Adam, he said, listen, I said stop. He said, you gotta put other famous people in these movies. You don't need, and I said, you don't need the higher me for that, I'm telling you, you could hire, the higher Nick Nolte, and he finally did. And now he's not hiring me, he took me up on it. But the, but like, higher people and do these other, you know, but you beat the shit out of that.

That's what I mean, doing a great thing with that phrase. O'Rhythm. So the thing was, he said, there's a one line and you could do it and it's you can do it And it was it was actually her L.A. who came up with it and I said well, what does it mean? It's just come out. We'll figure it out. It's a rhythm thing and I go like all right So it went out and it was a sing song. He think of just just the guy showing up Yeah, so there's that the fun of the audience knowing that there's some back history with that. Something's happening in the movie.

And it was like, and I said, I'll find a way to do it. And just doing different ways. You can do it! So it was like, it was just goofy. It didn't make sense. It was a guy who was not. It was all explicable. That's why it lasts.

It's a typical joke, like Tom Brockler. You can do it. Just go on for decades. It does, because it's something that it doesn't need to be performed that way. It then the no one in the history of the world would say it that way. It's not necessary. It's unnecessary.

It's not necessary to say it. It's five questions. Who is that guy? What is he doing there? How did he get there? When did he cover this catchphrase? Why is he yelling it? When you can get to five questions, that's a keeper.

And auditions, it's put to be yelling. A celebrity yelling a shit joke. Yeah. Rocking what's the shit? The joke is like, I got chunks of guys like you with my stool. Oh, there you go. Phil Hartman. Yeah, three, three, but the five.

That's pretty good. So that was like in this dude in different ways. And he kept Adam had a genius thing of like, he would keep the audience. Always get a laugh in there. And even when it was like a serious part and like the water boy, when he's upset and he throws a basketball out the window and hits the Kentucky Fried Chicken Colonel. And he got a laugh and carried them out of that scene. So he really knew how to, you know, get the laughs going in there. Absolutely. How many of you go in auditions and then like when we were doing movies and you would have people

come in for auditions, we're in the other side of it, we're casting people. And when everyone does the line the same way, and then someone says, you'll get a new lead. You go, oh, and then you go, have them come back. Because that stands out. If you're not gonna give it the most perfect reading

that everyone's gonna give, there's something to that. You gotta bring something to it, that you've got something different. Yeah, bring something to it that you bring something different. Bring something on the page. I mean, did the wrong missy. There was nothing in that, I mean, truthfully, there's nothing in that role. And wrong missy. Wrong missy for you. Nothing.

But even Adam called me, said, I don't want you, this is a role, but it's not big enough. You don't need to do it. There's nothing. You help. Oh, I almost had to do that. And he asked me, that was funny. He asked me to do this thing, and then he called me up at the last minute and go like, we really want you to do that and he asked me that was funny. He asked me to like to do this thing and then he called me up At the last minute and go like we really want you to do this and I said okay, I'll do it and I said was my wife's birthday

I said that does just Bringer and so we ended up my wife came and she was happy to go to Hawaii and it was a fun gig Because I'm just showing up doing a small role. Yeah, and a small time. You mean score with life. Everyone's happy to have you there. Yeah, because you're just coming to help him out. Yeah, you were scoring. And then, and I said, well, let me figure this out. And I called Sandler and said, what if I do it as an Aussie guy? And I, you know, you get it on live, I ain't no one's playing.

And he said, no! And he said, you know, when Adam's like, no. No! No! He's a fucking douche. He's a douche. He was just doing it on my map. He was just what I eat at Sanker.

Yeah, all right, all right, all right, all right. And so, but then you got to find the thing. And I said, well, I said, if you start crazier to beginning and the beginning of the scene, and then you got a place to really go. If you were a craze and I said, get me sunburned and never. And I was like, overweight and burned and fat and bald.

And I said, this is gonna be great. I don't always commit to this. And they gave me a hand that was missing a few fingers. And I said, that's right. That's right. The young director. And the young directors, you know, you'd be gentle with young directors,

but you also have to like, you can't listen 100% because they, you know, if you, when 30 movies in, you go, I really think this is a better idea than, because he was like, when you sit that shark down there, you tell him, you know, and shark down there, you tell him, you know, and he's like, you tell him, I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get, you know, the attitude was to be angry. And I thought, well, let's do the opposite of that,

you know, and I said, I can put the camera on. I mean, yeah, keep that in mind. I said, when you see that shark down there, you tell him, what's up? I said, he's like happy to see him again, even though he ate my hand. And it's just funnier, it's a rhythm that you don't expect Positive it sounds good. And it's when the guys get eaten by shark

You said you got to cut back up to us dancing that was a great song if you just got to do it and he said we don't have time I was next give me one take you say he's under it. David's under the day. It's in the One of the characters sound like on the boat I want to hear and I said and he said we don't have music We don't have time for the money, we don't have music. And I said, let me talk to my music guy and I'll give you a piece in 30 minutes. That'll be free. Just, yeah, that'll be so I call my,

I call my composer, John Hunter in Austin. I said, dude, can you just give me a fame? I'm doing this movie, it's Happy Mass and David Spades the Star. We just need a disco song that they can just have for free. Farley, Swartz and Justa are dancing and playing against me, getting eaten by a show. Yes, and he said, well, we only have time for one take.

I said, I'll take it. Yeah, I'll take it. So he did the one with the crane coming up and we're dancing to this disco song. Perfect. And it's something to cut to. You're going to want it. If we don't have time, just do it.

So we got one. Yeah. And that's what they use. So that's what you kind of hope for. Well, we're the one voice that you sent along. I just I they use. That's what you kinda hope for. Well, where the, but what voice did you settle on? I just, I saw that. It wouldn't let me do a, so what I ended up doing was like a really lovely,

kind of guy. They didn't want to do Robert Shaw, you know what? What I wanted to do was a guy who's an alcoholic and great, you know, gravely voice and low. To the opposite of you. Yeah.

Cause that was interesting. And then you get like, and I had nothing really there. So you just crazy, what do I got? So I'm on the dive and start, this is my boat. Give me this is my fucking boat, I'm charged the boat. So you give me some stuff and the prop guys, what do you need? I said, give me the snorkel and the red ring.

Does it need to work? Take course and needs to work. Give me a goddamn thing. And it's, please turn around, give me something to do. And so I started playing with it while between takes What's funny and it was making noise? Yeah And so we just and David It's like a fake pen and we were fucking laughing

And so I got this thing yeah, all of a sudden And so and what and he's about to get into the water and as he's walking I'm walking with him with this thing It's yeah, and I put it, it's all right before I'm, I'm spraying, I'm putting it on him and spraying it the water, and then I put it in my mouth and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I

had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I had it, and then I, Rob, because it was so funny, I go, do it more. And so, you're like, you're going like a ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch, lick, lick, and I'm just staring at you,

and then you're probably gonna, and then you stick it, and you go, and I put that in my mouth, okay. Yeah, but then you got a set of that scene, a big laugh to get to the next one. Great. With the sound off. Yeah, you know, just that's all funny.

And, and, yeah. Did it do eight funny with the sound off? A hundred billion minutes or how many minutes? Fifty-five million views that first month and then Still tell like I mean it's so like a billion I don't know back then it wasn't minutes It was just but that was a cool smash funny with the sound turned off. Yes. We had an acting coach of on a chubb Yeah, she really helped that's huge Roy London was the first one and then when he passed away We the my Von a Chubbuk took over and she would say,

dude, the thing again, but without the words. So everyone knows from me a physicality, what's happening. Yeah. Because that's you're communicating with your body, aren't you? You should be. That's how I love Lucy. Yeah. That's the great.

She's also just used a lot of props. Really work the room. Like, it's more fun if you're doing business than you're doing that. It's hard to do because you're acting. You gotta remember you're lying. You gotta get a match. But get it. Get this stuff and like produce bigot of the thing about that was like,

do's bigot. My favorite thing about that was flying to Australia to promote the movie. And I'd never flown any way to promote anything. So this is like the first starring role in any movie where I was like the guy on the poster. It's cool to be on the poster and there's a billboard of you. And it was, and I thought, let's just have a big name, it was Walt Disney Company,

and it was for Joe Roth. And I said, this is a funnier thing. It's like me naked on the side of a bus, you know, like the Bert Reynolds thing and I was a really good shape back then. And I said, this would be funny. And I said, no. And they said very interesting things.

It said, posters are to not lose people. Don't give people a reason to not want to go see it. I'll give them many edge on that. And I said very interesting things. Postures are to not lose people. Don't give people a reason to not want to go see it. I'll give them many edge on that. And I said, holy crap. And so I'm flying to Australia, because the movie did really good in America. And then I just, you hear this laughter. It's hard to hear anything on a plane.

But you hear this booming laughter on a plane. And I go back there and they were watching my movie without the sound. Because they didn't want to say, you had to spend money to get movies back then really good sign yes really good so this is gonna do really good everywhere because they but they didn't pay the ten bucks they're just watching the movie because they can understand it by the physicality because that's the way you're and you can laugh harder when it's funny with the sound off you're not waiting for

punch lines yeah you could just relax and I and sometimes when you're doing things and they don't you it's really funny And then they could ruin it was sound There was a maybe having badly TV series the funniest thing I did in the whole series was very frustrating because of the English show It was so funny. So the only reason I agreed to do it It's just do the same thing sit come on NBC and And they just they they instead of making it just doing the same

And they just, they, instead of making it just doing the same episodes that they did in England, they watered them down as like, man apologizing badly, but there was one really funny thing was that I'm gonna get attacked by an owl, and it was in the way back, and they're, well, foreground, I'm just in the background where there's people in the front, which that's hilarious, as you could be the funny.

It's what we have, we can't have a real owl, and as you just get a stuffed owl, just get something. And I'll pretend it's attacking to me. So I grabbed the beak right here and I did this. And I am spinning around and I'm going out of frame, coming back in, coming through. I'm hitting it, hitting it, and then, and that was the, and then they put,

and it was the funny thing I did on that show. And then they put like, when they came on the air The the cowardly producers decided to put it Squack squack squack squack which killed it. Yeah, because it brought too much attention to it But I ended up redoing that for another movie basically that idea of the far background and going back to an animal That's the essence of of Comedian trying to be in movies and wanting to control the rhythm and Sandler told me early on after his success, he goes, carry, they don't mean in the directors. He did a couple of movies where Adam didn't get to be Adam.

He goes, yeah, they don't know what they're doing. Carry. Oh, yeah, they don't really know it's not their fault. They don't know where to put the camera or whatever. So that that kind of triggers me a little bit because I experience it just like that. Because that's a survival mechanism. Yeah, yeah, you know what you gotta be. We know the funny because I had experiences just like that. That's a survival mechanism. You know what? Yeah, we know the funny part, just let us do that.

And then if you get anybody who's going to be a director, and they usually put us with commercial directors because they know where to put the camera not to work and they know a schedule and blah, blah, blah. But they also have the ego of like, no, let's do it my way. Right. And then you go, but this is what I wrote. Well, Penelope Spheres in Wayne's World One was my best director because I'd have a Garth thing and she'd go,

what are you gonna do here? And I'd show her. And her only direction was, could you do it 10 seconds faster? That was it. No other direction. But that's actually good because I already had the character. And the thing is about doing it faster and getting it cutting out the pauses.

Yeah, that's instructive. That's fine. You know, that's instructive. That's fine. You know, that's just, okay, I can do it a little shorter. I used to hate when like, you know, the dentist do them and say, can you do without the pauses? Can you just do without the pauses? Just do it tighter, there without the pauses.

And I said, okay, you just cut it that way. And they said, what if I don't want to cut it? And then he's right. Yeah, because a single shot is best, ideally. Unless the edit is a comic, a lot of fun. That was the thing, like John Cleese, such as my hero, and like, genius. Genius. And he said, you know, look at the scene in life of Brian, also voted as the number one comedy of all time in England. Not that you know, you've bastardized our

language, but, but for English, in the traditional. Anyway, it's all I, and he said, this is the number one, this is the voted, not by me, of course, by people who, we know, the public. So anyway, so, he said, look at the scene when Michael Palin and the guards are going in to, you know, they said, don't let anyone in, blah, blah, blah, blah, unless it's him,

I don't know, and it's the guards, and they said, and then, so, okay, let anyone in. No, no, no, no, don't let anyone in, no matter what, and it's a very intricate thing, but it's a guards and they said, and then, so okay, let anyone in, no, no, no, no, don't let anyone in no matter what. And it's a very intricate thing, but it's a single master shot. It's a requires a lot more rehearsal, but it's worth it. They all let the audience decide where they want to look,

because so much of direction and television direction, and we're in an era of television. Digital cutting, cut here, let them look at this, cut here, look at them, do this movie. I don't really speak Spanish that well, but I just directed a look at this, cut here, look at them. Dude, this movie, I don't really speak Spanish that well, but I just directed a film in Mexico, and the editor, who's a great guy, but he cuts to this and then punch in on this,

and it's like, let the audience figure it out. And two shots are great. Where they're looking, let the audience decide who they want to look at. I feel like when I'm watching some sandals specials, I'm in an invisible flying chair. Like I'm in a, I'm flying in the chair, seeing the guy waste up and all of a sudden,

I'm way in the back and then I'm right up on his face and like, you know, just let it breathe. You know that, that cowboy shot, hold that a lot. Yeah. That's the most important shot for standup in those specials. Is the couch, was it Steve Allen? I mean, it just became the classic shot

to give a monologue. Yeah, well, the audience has to feel comfortable. They have to be comfortable with you and with them. And if they're, oh, I tell the movies, it's like, you know what? And I tell this thing, because I was just working with a great crew in Mexico. And I said, listen, I said, here's the thing.

I would tell the first AD, and you know, because we were getting along in days and I said, you know what, people never say, I gotta go see that new movie. I heard it was on time. You know, I get it and I tell the cinematographer who wanted to do this shot and I said, and I said, you know what they never hear?

You never hear it on it. People say like, I gotta go see that new movie. I hear the camera moves or X. I heard it came in under budget. All right Rob, thanks for coming by. I love this. Rob, we're doing it. Rob Schneider, all time great on SNL.

Huge cultural influence in American comedy, and last 30 years, and just really shared a lot of great times with this young man. David, we're friends, right? Yeah. I like all my youngsters. I'm so proud of both of you. Thank you. We hope to make you proud.

All right, Rob. Thanks. Peace out. Let's go. Thank you. We hope you're making friends. All right, Rob. Peace out, we'll. This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Available now for free, wherever you get your podcast. No joke, folks. Flying the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13,

executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Korkren of Cadence 13, and Charlie Feinen of Brillstein Entertainment. The show's lead producers Greg Holtman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Beasel of Cadence 13.