Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY #23 - Lies, Debates, and Rawdogging Flights
Episode Date: July 5, 2024David and Dana jump right into with a classic Lovitz story, debate reaction, and the NBA draft. Then they discuss rawdogging flights and giant insects before being joined by former Special Agent with ...the US Secret Service Evy Poumpouras to get into her life and career. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Fuck you, dad.
What if LeBron grounds him during the game?
They would never do that, buddy.
He can't get off the bench, he goes,
Coach, I grounded him, He's got another few minutes.
You know, I think maybe they call him
instead of brawny, just scrawny.
Just to differentiate it.
It's not negative.
Okay, ready?
You want to start Superfly Day?
Are we starting?
Is it started?
Yeah.
I'm so excited.
Yeah.
Can you tell? Yeah. We had, you know, we had Lovitz last week.
I don't know if anyone knows who Lovitz is, but people like him.
I look at the YouTube comments.
You wouldn't think it.
You would never think it, but people like him.
You know, it's not even fair.
It's not a fair fight for John.
When he is looking at a picture of himself.
He can hardly focus on the podcast because he kept turning his chin up.
And it's very funny, but it's fun to give John props.
He did.
He actually did look good.
I said, what have you been doing?
It made him so happy, but I learned his rhythm of like, you be happy.
Whatever he says, you come back with you.
You don't seem to be liking our podcast.
You don't like your podcast.
That's his great trick I love.
Yes, when he leaves me at dinner, he goes,
David, I'm sorry about your attitude.
Yeah, that's one of his classics.
His classic.
So anyway, he did something for People Magazine.
It's so ridiculous.
And I just saw it, an article that said,
John Lovett and David Spade, how they became friends. I'm like, more like why did they?
That's funny.
Isn't that funny? And so I think it was, the article is about, you know,
Phil Hartman passed away, who's one of his best friends. And then I had had Chris pass away who we all loved.
And, um, and then he said, we sort of bonded over that, which is true, but I
think we were friendly way before that, but it was kind of like, that's, I
think it was more, he lived in LA and we started hanging out and stuff, but
here's a picture from that article.
Look at this.
That is it.
Look at that backdrop, anger management. That was that premiere. The premiere wh That is it. Look at that backdrop. Anger management. That was that premiere.
The premiere whore is back.
Look at my skateboard shoes, my beat up jeans.
If you were going to put a name on that, like say that shot of you two is a movie.
What would be the name of the movie?
Because it kind of looks like you're in a movie together.
Like this is, you know, it's Vinnie and Jojo or something. What would be the name of the movie? Cause it kind of looks like you're in a movie together.
Like this is, you know, it's Vinny and Jojo or something.
It would be my son's a skater.
And then he would be my dad.
No, it would be.
How about batter boys?
How about, is it a bad boys?
How about, how about Kurt Cobain and his manager?
That's true, you did have a little bit of that.
John Lovitz and Kurt Cobain's manager.
So I have another story that you didn't hear Dana, which I fricking
forgot to say when Lovitz was here.
So, so when I moved in this, uh, mansion or whatever house, other people's words,
you know, 15 windows, four pantries.
I mean, whatever it's called.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
Seven bedrooms that have never had a human being inside them.
But all need furniture.
So I move in and for some reason, the opulence,
the guy who built it, it was a new house.
He had a lot of stuff I didn't really like.
And so one of them was a toy-dee.
I don't like to say the word toilet, but fine. So he had like one of these super new fangled ones. So of course,
Lovitz comes over one day in one of his pricey cars and he goes, what's going on over here?
And I go, what? I'm in the garage. I go, is there a rat? No, this toilet. It's beautiful. And I go, oh yeah, I don't know.
And he goes, why is it in the garage?
And I go, well, I have.
I go-
Oh my God, it's blowing my mind.
Yeah, he can't believe it.
He goes, I go, it was in my room.
I didn't really want it, so I just got a regular one.
He goes, why would you do such a thing?
He goes, I'm looking for one like this.
I go, no, you're not. He goes, I am. He goes, I'm looking for one like this. I go, no, you're not.
He goes, I am. He goes, I'm about to buy one. Do you know how much they are? I go, no.
And he goes, $6,000. I go, shut the fuck up for this.
And he goes, oh, you got the seat warmer.
Oh, you've got all the jets and all the massaging.
I'm like, oh, my God. Yeah.
He goes, this one's from Japan.
He goes, I'll buy it off of you right now.
Cause I have to order mine.
I go, well, John, you don't have to.
He goes, I insist on paying you.
And I said, how about you give me half.
Is that a ripoff if you have to pay me?
And he goes, that's the great deal.
Cause I was about to pay 6,000 right now.
And so I keep hamming and hauling goes, I'm bringing you the money, I need this toilet.
I said, sure.
So he goes, I'm gonna pay.
It's such a long story, but he has a good ending.
So he goes, I'm coming tomorrow with a truck,
with a friend, poor friend.
So he comes over, I guess he takes it, I wasn't even here.
He goes, I'll leave you the money.
And I go, all right. And then I go, I didn't takes it. I wasn't even here. He goes, I'll leave you the money. And I go, all right.
And then I go, I didn't see it.
And he goes, well, let's go to dinner Friday.
And I go, and I'll give it to you.
And I go, all right.
So Friday I go, hey, are we still going to dinner?
And he goes, oh, somebody wants his toilet money.
I like the closeup.
He told me the exact same story about your toilet.
I'm telling you, it's amazing.
It's in his garage.
He doesn't know what he has.
And I got it for $3,000.
Let me ask you a question.
Don't tell him I ripped him off.
This happens, I don't know if I've mentioned this,
but you can be talking to John on the phone
for 20 minutes.
And then he says, I'm on the loo.
Yep.
I go, damn it again, I don't wanna talk to someone.
I know it's gross.
You should have to announce it.
Or just don't make the call.
I can't, it's too much.
But that's so funny.
He told me the exact same story about your children. He was so excited. I was at David's house. This is from call. I can't. It's too much. But that's so funny. He told me the exact same story about you.
He was so excited.
I was at David's house.
It's from Japan.
It had everything.
Well, when you spend half your life on the toilet,
you want a nice one. Good night.
No funny.
It's so great he can't defend himself.
Why are you talking about me again?
So funny. So funny.
It's like he's always saying and just it's he's like the Mr.
Pillow Guy. half off today.
Do that clip we have up on YouTube shorts is killing it because he's he's going,
I hear you guy.
And we're like, we can't hear you.
And he's like, I you were like,
they put the aquarium in front of.
Oh, we should have a whole side podcast, technical issues with John Lovett.
Yeah, exactly.
David Spade.
Watch these three idiots try to get on a zoom.
Okay.
So let's talk a little bit about the, the, the debate happened while we were gone.
Good Lord.
We're not political, but we have to talk about what's going on in the world.
This was a big one.
This is the Superbow of. Disaster debates.
Well, for people who live under a rock, I love that.
Figure of speech as I eat my summer watermelon.
Jesus take a bite.
Right.
It's like a great prop in a movie.
There was a debate, David.
Did you watch it?
I was on stage at one of my fucking Southern tour shows, but go ahead.
Trump and Biden.
Everyone knows it was a odd debate and there's a lot going on.
It's going to be huge.
It's going to be huge.
It's going to be big.
So Biden, I mean, one thing I learned from people who saw it is that he and his wife
have a very close relationship and they are, it's, you know, Nancy Reagan, Ronald Reagan.
They are a team.
So Biden has a rough debate.
He wanted to talk like this.
We're going to do things that a lot of people know about.
We know what to do.
Instead he talked like this is the people and the the pancakes and we gotta find Robert Mitchum.
And so I thought my impression was kind of some people thought it was a little too much. Come on,
he doesn't talk like that. You know, I can't believe it's not better than the one you gave me,
which killed when I was playing last week, bad, bad than beyond.
But he does some stuff, some linguistic gymnastics there that made everyone think, okay, can
this guy go for four more years?
Trump jumps off the stage, basically all 300 pounds of them.
I'm going now.
Boom.
She helps him down like he's a five year old.
Come on.
And then she's in front of this little crowd with him and go, you did great, Joey.
Joey, you answered every question.
Oh, you're tremendous.
High fives all around.
Yeah.
High fives.
And, you know, it made me think that he's not going to step down if he hasn't right
before we started doing this podcast, because she's like, we're going to go, Joe.
We're going to go.
What if he kind of in a moment said, well, maybe, maybe I should,
maybe I should, should, uh, should step down.
And then she would go, that's not going to happen.
Not on my watch.
You little bitch.
Not with Vogue coming out.
You know, what's funny is, uh, she's a doctor, but people are like, it's kind of like how Dr. Pepper
is a doctor where you don't really know
what kind of doctor.
You didn't?
Is she a surgeon?
Well, she's not a medical doctor.
Okay, cuts that out.
I don't know if he's gonna step down.
I mean, he couldn't step down
from the one step down after the debate.
First make sense, then do debate. Were they surprised? Was it Def Con 1? What was Obama
saying when he watched it? Because it was really- Was Obama in his ear?
Oh, you mean like a little earpiece? I think people said he might have an earpiece.
Slow down, Joe. If it was, he was in Joe's earpiece. Joe, slow down.
That's the first thing I thought he was going to, he was going to China.
We're going to do this. Slow down, Joe. Slow down, Joe. Yeah.
But it didn't work.
There was one person, because there's been thousands of articles in the last few
days about this from left and right that said,
I thought he had a great day.
One of the best I've seen him.
If that's the best you've seen President Biden,
what does a bad day look like?
Like, ah!
Just sounds and barking.
I feel like I hear him when I'm behind someone
at McDonald's in the drive-thru, I hear,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. President President! I feel like I hear him when I'm behind someone at McDonald's in the drive-thru. I hear,
Mr. President.
Yeah. No, but who's going to take over?
If anyone takes over, is it Dr. Jill?
No.
Well, that would, I mean, they floated, they would love, love Michelle Obama.
They love Michelle Obama.
They would take Oprah.
And then you go down to the classics Newsome,
Governor Newsome of California.
You're looking at Governor Whitmore,
Whitmer, and I think Kamala Harris,
she will not go gently into that good night.
Oh, come on.
That's right.
They don't even consider her.
That's so fucking rude.
It's kind of, yeah. And I don't think, so right now they're in panic mode.
They're reading the tea leaves. Do we replace him? And would he step down?
I don't think he's going to step down.
I mean, that's hard. So just politically, because I'm so stupid, he doesn't...
They have to ask him and he has to say yes, but don't they just tell him?
They would like it, like with Harry S. Truman in 52 and LBJ in 68, the president gave a speech and said,
I will not seek the nomination. He's got all the delegates. So he would release them.
Release the delegates.
Release the delegates and release the Kraken while you're at it.
Yeah, exactly.
In what order, sir?
Well, the Kraken first, then the delegates.
Um, so then they got to decide by, uh, August 7th, cause there's a
certification thing, the, the actual event, the Democratic National
Convention, that's not a good word for Joe.
No, it is not.
Keep it away from them. We've got to join out for the certification of this thing.
Put it in a hiding place.
The Bund cake, better, better, butter.
Bunsen burner.
Bunsen burner.
Magnum PI.
I like when people look at him and then they look at his teleprompter and go,
what is he trying to, this one's not that hard.
But who knew my impression was that accurate?
It's so good. Everyone loves it.
The non sequiturs. So basically then they'll have people come up, give speeches,
all the conventioneers and the super delegates, they can vote forever they want. It's how Lincoln
got on there. He was the fifth choice. They'll go through ballot, ballot after ballot.
Some it's a winning majority.
Oh, voting a new person if they had to be a new person.
It's an open convention they call it.
So you could actually go in there and give a speech.
I could do it.
I'll throw my hat in.
You know, let's see what happens.
I don't know policy, but you'll laugh a lot.
I've got Newsome hair.
Look at this guy.
Tink, tink, tink, tink, tink.
Newsome's got the hair and the teeth.
They would be in the Smithsonian.
Good looking wins.
I'll go by my whole life.
Good looking people will always win.
Well, he's, yeah.
He's youthful and so I don't know what's gonna happen,
but I do know that, um,
something's going to happen.
All right. Let's look at some other headlines.
What's going on out there?
What else is going on?
Any little videos I brought for you?
Let's see.
I like to get your opinions.
Okay.
Here's one.
They had the draft recently, um, which is, um, NBA draft.
Uh, your boy, Bronnie was in there.
He got second round, you know know basketball more than I do.
Well, it's kind of cool. LeBron's going to play with his son. That's really interesting.
Definitely history-making.
It happened once before maybe. Yeah, I'm not sure.
I think Ken Griffey in baseball played with his son, Ken Griffey Jr.
Okay.
Son was better than him, I think.
I don't think that's the case here. I don't think.
But Bronnie might get better,
and may get better than LeBron, you don't know.
You don't fucking know.
Well, Bron is arguably the greatest of all time.
Bronnie could be an all-star and have a great career.
You know, there's lots of levels to this.
One problem is, what do you call him?
Does he go, hey dad, throw me the ball?
You know, what do they say?
You know what I mean? What if he still has kind of a normal, you know, he tries to admonish him. Fuck you dad.
What if he, what if LeBron grounds him during the game? They would never do that.
He can't get off the bench. He goes, coach, I grounded him. He's got another few minutes.
You know, I think maybe they call him, instead of Brawny, just Scrawny.
Just to differentiate it. It's not negative.
Well, I don't know about Scrawny, but yeah,
he has a, already, you know, they jump on things.
Brawny Paper Towels. He already has some,
he already has a deal with them.
Brawny for Brawny.
So Brawny Paper Towels.
So there's lots of ways to make it.
This stupid story is about an NBA prospect. He's the tall guy on the right
He's got a girlfriend or her
But apparently the the swirling hubbub was this was his babysitter
When he grew up now they're together
That sounds like a lot of the NBA draft involving Kyle
Sounds like a lot of people. There's a story coming out of the NBA draft involving Kyle Filipowski, the seven footer
from Duke who plummeted in the NBA draft after people found out that he was groomed by his
Mormon girlfriend.
Groomed is a bad word.
An older woman who used to be his babysitter.
He is seven feet tall.
I love it.
I love it so much.
NBA team, they had question marks about his girlfriend being so much older than him.
Why do they care about his girlfriend when he's playing?
When they asked him about the situation.
Oh yeah.
Now, Kyle is 20 years old.
His girlfriend is 26 years old.
Certainly not the craziest age gap I've ever heard.
Hello, Bill Belichick.
But it started to get weird
when an accountant named Becky Filipowski
saying that she was Kyle Filipowski's mother
says that the girlfriend had a three year end game
and was grooming him when he was still in high school
That's when Kyle's older brother Daniel chimed in saying that the story cut him off for nearly two years
And that it's Mormon grooming and brainwashing now again 20 and 26 not the craziest age gap you ever heard
Okay, problem is that they are we on his front? Yes, sir. I know we can jump off
You can okay. Yeah, I just thought the story was funny. So
basically, I Know it's too long.
Well, I just thought, I thought we were on that guy's podcast. Well, the story is, I just thought the story was funny. I got it. I got it. I mean, grooming is an interesting word. But they cut off
the family. That's the part that they don't like. Oh, the family didn't like it and they cut them off.
Yeah. The, no, the kid cut off his family when he
when he announced, I'm going the babysitter six years older.
She said with the family.
Well, that happens.
Seven feet tall, if he could put the coconut.
In the basket, they're not going to care about no babysitter grooming.
I can't believe they even cared he dropped in the draft.
Why? There's there's guys with worse things than that going on.
Nobody cares.
If he's, if he's a 20 tenor, which means 20 points, 10 rebounds, and he could
put the coconut in the basket, the babysitter's story goes away.
I say, hold out.
And I think they should consult with Joe Biden.
Should we, should we just, just told?
Yeah, no, I've never just surrendered to go down.
If you put the coconut in the basket, you can get paid a lot of
minds, but it's fine.
Cavaliers.
Bunsen burner.
Bunsen burner.
I can't believe it's not Bunsen burner.
Keep pushing that.
How do you, yeah.
I'm yeah.
And also a bed bath and beyond. Sounds like fucking Toy Story guy. All right,
let's go next.
Oh, okay. How about this? Look at all these Joe dirts. The first, the first, oh yeah.
The comment is Joe dirt, Joe dirt, Joe.
Yeah.
This is a Joe dirt.
Then I put a comment.
Oh, we need these guys back at the office.
Hello.
Uh, yeah.
Rodeo.
Who are these guys?
I don't know.
It's not a Joe dirt thing.
These are just guys.
It's not a club, but yeah, it looks like they could all be in Joe dirt.
Yeah. I don't know. They're all looking the same.
I've seen a lot of guys at these Comic-Cons.
There's a famous guy that's at Joe Dirt,
dressed as exactly like him,
and he has a wagon with the meteor in it.
I don't give the whole movie away.
So maybe that is a Joe Dirt kind of club.
I mean, or it's the hair club for men.
There's a couple of things that could be happening. It's a club woman the way you look at it.
Yeah, it's gotta be a club. And I did this week, Dana, there's a part in the real Joe Dirt movie
where I go buy fireworks, you know, from a firecracker stand. And then I read off all
these kind of fireworks. And so I did a TikTok, so embarrassing,
but I went there, so I filmed myself going there
and I just went in and talked to the lady
and goofed around in there.
And then we split screened it with the real movie.
So I put on TikTok and it's doing quite well.
People are really enjoying it.
Joe Dirt is getting brighter.
It gets bigger as it goes along.
It's bigger now than when it came out.
That's for sure.
Bigger now.
Yeah.
Because it really lends itself to memes.
And I think people like Joe Dirt, the character.
He's looking for his parents.
It's got kind of a sweetness.
Nice guy.
I mean, when I wrote it for you, I just thought this is going to be a winner.
It's going to win for decades.
That's true.
That was nice.
You slid it under my desk and I was like, oh, this is nice.
All right.
It was Fred Wolf in case he's listening.
Yeah.
Me and Fred Wolf wrote that and I love it.
It's actually about a guy people can relate even though it's a goofy movie, but down in
his luck, always getting picked on,
always getting beat up, never gives up, is in love, misses his parents, doesn't know where to fit in
the world, broke, hungry, all that going on. Okay, this is stupid because in one of the,
let people go, how do you think of all these firecrackers I name? I just made them up,
half of them, you know?
And one of them I go, who's could do's, who's could don'ts.
And I just told my buddy the other day, I go, remember there was a game growing up called who's could do, and it was German.
And it meant, can you remember? It was a memory game.
And so just thinking of something stupid, I'd say who's could do, and then I go, who's could don't.
But it's not even D-O, it's D-U, which I remember, it's got a little oops-lon over it.
So I guess-
Husker do, yes.
Yeah, Husker do.
It's very German, right?
Husker do, which translates in English to-
I think it means can you remember.
Can you remember.
It was a fucking commercial on TV
and it always stuck in my head.
Yeah.
Husker do.
And so when I was thinking of stupid names
when I'm writing it, I'm like, Husker do's,
and then don't
sounds funny.
So that's just a little BTS of that name of the firecracker.
Not riveting, not interesting.
But I'm going to just put this out there.
Your next special is gotta be called who's Gerdu.
I won't forget that.
I won't forget that. I won't forget that.
Oh, yeah, because it's about memory.
Damn, that's right.
That's why you remember the name.
That's so smart.
All right.
Next.
More Scandinavian.
Husker Du.
All right.
Oh, yeah.
Men are raw dogging it on flights by giving up all in flight.
I raw dog one.
Stare at the real time flight map.
Why do that every single flight?
You've been raw dogging?
Why is that raw dogging?
Because you don't-
Why is it raw dogging?
You don't use anything.
Because when I raw dogged it,
because when I was on tour,
I got on a flight and they go,
we have TVs.
And then you get on and go,
oh, it's in your hand.
It's your phone.
I go, oh, good fuck.
I, there's nothing on my seat.
That's what I want, a TV. And I just want to stare, watch ESPN or something. So I go, oh good. Fuck. I there's nothing on my seat. That's what I want a TV and I just want to stare
Watch ESPN or something so I can't do it. So I just stared at nothing phone didn't work
Wi-Fi doesn't work
No one has a magazine like the old days. So you're just staring so I raw dogged it for three hours and
A lot of people are doing it for longer
But that means no no water
No earphones no music. water, no earphones,
no music.
Well, there's also adult beverage.
You could get a couple of beers if you're afraid of flying.
I know.
And now you're not raw dog.
That, oh, it has to be pure raw dog.
Okay.
Here's what I do.
Try it at home.
And I've shocked, you know, seat mates with my information on my mini iPad, I get on turbulence USA.
Then I put on the flight map.
I have a map on my, um, on my iPad that tells me when and where the turbulence is and for
how long.
So I'll say to someone who's a little afraid of flying, I go, we're going to hit turbulence
in about 10 minutes and it'll last for about 20.
And they're like, how do you know this?
What a loser.
My God. And I say, Taylor Swift, take it easy. Just sit back and relax. I got you.
Oh, and then you, but you give everyone tips because you're on the only one in the world on
a turbulence app.
Well, yeah, I just, I like the science of, you know, 300 people in a metal tube, eight miles up
and how we've gotten down to
like, so what?
Yeah.
Can you believe it?
We float in the air.
Big deal.
We're sitting like this kind of with our knees up like in a chair just floating in the air.
So weird.
I know, I know.
But-
I don't like it when I think about it.
When it works, it's great.
I feel like when you come off a plane, everybody's a little cocky when they come through the
turn. Yeah, we did it and we're here.
Nailed it.
Yeah.
All right.
Next one.
Oh, this is funny.
Do you do meet and greets Dana?
Oh yeah.
You have in the past.
So a meet and greet with Chris Brown, the girls like jump on him.
He squeezes their ass and they do all the shit.
So this guy's calling up his engagement. this is the girls meet and greet photo she
came home with.
Isn't that so awesome?
Yeah, I feel sorry for the guy.
Yeah, of course.
You know, what is this? Is this a sense I'm letting you know this woman is letting this person know I will have
sex with you immediately.
If you pretty much.
Yeah.
I mean, this is sort of, it, he turns into everyone's hall pass because if your girlfriend
is they had a guy waiting in line and his girlfriend did one of these unreal.
I mean, Chris Brown and his,
no offense, donkey dick. I wouldn't want to see that monster anaconda and then she's like rubbing
up against him going, let's get a few more shots. Let's get up on his lap. And I'm like, honey,
I told you we'd get out of here and go to Chili's if you behaved, but you know, you're blowing it.
but you know, you're blowing it.
I've been groped many a time at meet and greets by boozed up,
boozed up sauce monkey women around 60 and they'll grope and grab and grip. And they don't care.
I stopped that because of that.
I did that at the Venetian and it was.
Butt grabs, take a picture on three.
Then they kiss you on three, grab your butt on three.
I get handed CDs, scripts, demo tapes.
God, I guess we're kinda like sex symbols or something.
Yeah.
Or they're just drunk.
No, one girl goes, first of all, they're shocked.
They hear, I've got this rep.
And so they're like, they can't believe
I don't wanna have sex with that one in the world.
They go, hey, guess what?
You're my free pass.
And I go, oh, that's nice.
And they go, no, you're my free pass.
And I go, huh?
And they go, you know what that means?
They go, yeah, do I get a vote?
Because I'm a hard pass on my side.
So I thought I got a 50% vote in it.
Because they think you're grabbing everybody.
And I'm like, eh. But I'm just like, it's all rep.
It's all fake. It's all smoke and mirrors. Plus I'm an old man.
My, my mom told me today, she goes, she's visiting. She goes,
Oh, I like your beard like that. You know, you look like, and she can't think of it.
She goes, he's a little older, but he's very good looking. And I go, right, right.
And I'm like Clooney Brad Pitt. She goes, and then the other room, she
goes, Clint Eastwood.
I go, she was, he's older now, but he just
doesn't care.
He's got his hair.
He's got his beard.
I go, mom, what the fuck?
He's 97.
Yeah.
I go, that's me.
That's me.
Oh, he's handsome.
He's a famous.
I go, sure.
Paul used to say that to me when I did, was doing stand up there.
He goes, you're cute.
Like George burns George burns.
He's 98.
No, she, yeah, no one's fucking George burn.
That don't give me that guy.
George burns, but I'll take men entertainers in their nineties for no, you look, she could say maybe Pierce
Bronson. Yeah. Or you look like Pierce Bronson. I don't mind being thrown together. My hair gets
all screwed up and I got this white beard, but you know, I got bigger fish to fry right now.
Actually, I don't. I look like shit. Okay. Next one. Any like, I was just moving along. Oh,
this thing is sickening. Don't play yet.
This if you saw this out in the world, I would crap me diapers.
Let's see.
This is a not a snake, folks.
Whoa.
It's a caterpillar and it's that huge eight feet f'ing long.
Wow.
No chance would I not throw up.
Would you let it walk on you?
In bed at night, you put the covers back in an eight foot.
Honey, there's a caterpillar in the room.
Can you come kill it?
Jesus.
Yeah, but he's choking me and holding me up in the air.
You'd have to kill it.
I picture this big for a caterpillar, three inches, two inches.
Well, does a caterpillar,
I'm just trying to remember fifth grade science, biology,
does it turn into a butterfly or no?
That thing's turning into a pterodactyl.
I mean, it can't turn into anything except death.
It's like a death machine.
What was the evolutionary advantage of having 7,000 feet?
As a caterpillar?
Yeah. I mean, it's like evolution's going, no, more feet. Yeah. God got carried away. I don't know. It doesn't seem like it's helping a lot.
God was high.
Yeah. I feel like it, you're right, because having 7,000 feet is, it sounds fun, but I'm sure like,
it's just a drag.
What if one of them, what if one of your little legs breaks
and the rest of them got to kind of do double time?
And what in nature looks at that and goes yummy?
Yeah.
A grizzly bear, a giant hawk.
It looked a little like a,
what has the hard shell aardvark?
Looks a little bit like that.
All right, Dana, before we move on to the next we have a
Guest but guess what look what I got in the mail
This is a plaque from YouTube if we just started but YouTube Wow got a hundred thousand
subscribers
Over there leaving nice comment only nice ones ones please. That's nice. Only
compliments. Yeah, so we're already up to 125 by the time they sent this. So I don't know if that's
a lot, but it sounds really good. It sounds exciting because we're new and we're plowing through. And
then a lot of people leave comments, which is good. So sometimes I go in there and check them or
click on them. And we don't push. We don't push. I see a lot of them like, hey, everybody out there, you'd be doing us a great favor in
the podcast.
Subscribe.
Smash that subscribe button.
Smash that fucking button.
Smash that button.
Smash that button.
So let's just make it a thing.
We've got 125.
If we can get to 250 by Labor Day because of smashing.
Smash the buttoning.
Yeah. We'll do, we'll take requests.
All right.
Also, so thank you for that everybody.
And thanks for listening to it also.
So we've got a guest right now and we'll bring her on.
You can introduce her, but she's going to talk about what she does too.
Evy Pompouras.
She explains that in the same name, I hope.
Evy Pompuras. She explains how to say her name, I hope. Evie Pompuras.
And she's, her parents were Greek immigrants,
former Secret Service agent,
who will tell us all about what it entails.
She did a lot of interrogations with people,
with lie detector test.
She did carry a gun and protect presidents
and things like that.
So it's a very interesting interview.
Obama, Clinton, and was it Bush senior?
Yeah, because former president she would guard. Yeah.
Oh yeah, also.
Bush senior, almost all of them really.
She did it actively and then after they, you know, she explains the whole situation.
Anyway, stick around here. She is right now and here's Evy. I had a good side before this started, now it's gone.
David's checking out his hair.
I think it looks great.
I'm checking out everything.
Sorry.
Hi, Evy.
Nice to see you.
Hey, guys.
Good to meet you.
Hi, Evy.
I just want to know how you pronounce your last name because I didn't want to pronounce it wrong.
I know, it's Greek. I'm sorry. If you say Pompouris, it's fine. Yes.
Close enough.
It's close enough. Thank you guys.
Evie Pompouris.
There you go.
We got it. We got it.
You're 100% Greek and we're happy to have you here. Thanks for coming on. Happy to be on too. Huge friends of both of you, we got it. We're very excited to talk to you. You're completely 100% Greek and we're happy to have you here.
Thanks for coming on.
Happy to be on too.
Huge fans of both of you, by the way.
Thank you.
That's more like it, thank you.
Well, we're fascinated by you.
I guess you would call a super achiever
based on your resume.
Go getter.
A degree, go getter, books, TED Talks. So I don't know where to start. So I guess
for people, this guest today, which we'll do an intro, but she was in the Secret Service.
Yeah.
It's cool to have a job. The first word of your job is secret. It just already creates
kind of a vibe. Can we ask you, so we'll try to ask you questions
about your 12 years as a Secret Service agent,
but if it's not declassified,
if it upsets the world order, you can say I'm not at liberty.
I had a friend in the NSA and I'd ask him questions
and he'd always say, I'm not at liberty to say.
That was his stock answer.
So.
You know, Abby, I know a girl that dated a CIA agent
and he said he could never call her.
She couldn't call him.
He has to call her.
And then after about a year,
she found out he was just married.
So.
Yeah.
I'm kind of at a moment I'm like,
I've never heard that one before.
I think that can happen.
That's a good scam, Dana.
They just say, hey, you can't shh.
You can't ever call me, you can't text me.
There's a lot of folks who do that actually.
Oh, that's rude.
Pretend they're like little people.
That's rude.
Cause when we were growing up watching,
yeah, because you were, this was a little while,
you started in 2000, I think.
And so you were probably,
what percentage of the Secret Service was women?
Was that a thing you had to deal with a little bit?
Or was it pretty liberalized by then?
It was not.
I think of all the agencies out there, it's probably the one that's the slowest to let women in.
And not to let them in, but to have a lot of women.
I think a couple of things.
One, most women don't put in for that job.
It's a very, a lot of it is protection.
You're jumping in front of bullets for people.
It's kind of not something I think that most women can connect to.
So I think that's one thing.
And then the other part is just because it's so physical, right?
Because you have to physically not be able to just jump in front of a bullet,
but you have to carry people, protect people.
So I think those two things together
kind of deter people from putting in.
So I'd say when I got in, maybe 98% male,
but I'll be honest, like when I went in,
I didn't really sit and do the math.
In my head, I was like, this is amazing.
If I can get in, who's better than me?
So really that's kind of the mindset I went in with.
And the physical requirements, what level was it at?
Did you have to get in trained for that?
To be able to jump in front of bullets and you know,
cause I know that we'll get to it in a minute,
but you became an interrogator as well,
which is fascinating.
Yeah, so the interrogation part came later in my career,
but when you go through training now,
I had actually gone into the NYPD right before,
so they managed to kick the crap out of me.
It was actually really tough.
I was surprised.
I was thinking New York City cops, anybody can do it.
I was really wrong.
I was extremely wrong. I was extremely
wrong. They'd like demolished me. And so I think I had been prepared somewhat
before I went into the service training. You have to think of service training as
a bit more, they get into the minutiae. You have to not just be a great shot, you
have to be like a truly excellent shot. Your driving has to be really, you know,
they finesse everything and they also hand pick you. So by the time you get in, like
they really put a lot of money into you. So they want to see you pass. Yeah. I compare
it like this. NYPD was 1500 recruits. US Secret Service was 54 recruits. So really different beasts.
But the one thing that they do, which I think works really well to get people to perform,
you do everything in front of each other.
So if you suck, everybody sees you suck.
And I think that mentality, even when you shoot, when we shoot, our targets are put up,
they're put up so close, so you can really see
how the other person shoots, and then when they score it,
in a really big black magic marker, they put your score.
So I think that part of itself keeps people kind of in line,
like I better do a good job,
because not only may I get booted,
but everybody sees that I'm not performing.
Well, what was the first time you got scared? So you get in,
you get in there and you've got your, your secret clothes on.
I don't know what secret services they just have besides their gun,
but I don't hide other things. You know, we don't know.
It's spray that make people tell the truth.
So the first time you felt a little scared, were you in a situation or you're
a, you were adrenalized, you may be potentially anti-usual weapon, or did you
not ever get in that kind of situation?
No, we, we, you know, in law, in the US secret service, they do criminal
investigations. That's actually why they were founded.
It was for counterfeit money.
April 14th, 1865, the day
President Lincoln was assassinated, he created the US Secret Service. And it was actually
to combat counterfeit currency because at that time, a third of the money in the US
was fake. They called it funny money. Well, we called it funny money, but it was all fake.
So it was completely destroying the economy. So he created the service for that. So they started as an investigative agency, then protection came later. So you would do search warrants, arrest
warrants. We did all of that stuff. In fact, in the beginning, that's really mostly what
you do. So I think the first time I was afraid, and I guess there's so many types of fears.
I mean, I was afraid in training. I didn't want to get cut. I don't want to humiliate
myself. There's that fear. But in terms of other fear, I think the first time
probably I pulled out my weapon and pointed it at another human being. Although you practice,
practice, practice, there's this part of you that's thinking if he does this, am I willing to pull
the trigger and then deal with the consequences of that. Cause it's not like, it really isn't like the movies
you are taking another human being's life.
And then everybody's gonna Monday morning quarterback it
and you better hope you made the right call.
So that part I think is-
And this was in the lunch line?
The lunch line.
The first time she pulled her gun out was at the buffet.
He's like, I think I was in front of you sir.
Do you yell something different?
Cause traditionally police officers would say freeze.
It's freeze still around.
Would you say freeze when you pulled your weapon,
did you say, Hey mister, or what do you say?
Or is it just the weapon?
That's a really good question.
So you don't say freeze anymore.
And it's a good question because legally,
it's actually a really complicated thing
because if you say the wrong thing and then you shoot,
the other person could say, I didn't know it was police.
So you must say, you have to say police.
Cause you could argue, be like, I don't know who that is.
So you have to say police, stop, or I will shoot.
You have to say something where you actually say police
so you can't say freeze or anything like that because legally later on they could
come back and say they didn't identify themselves properly so it's typically
been police stop please stop or I will shoot you have to verbalize to them and
it's actually you verbalize the threat the The first line of defense, so to speak, or when you use physical, any type of physical
weapon, non-lethal weapons, right, is your verbal command, stop or I will shoot.
That's the first thing you must do.
So David said that to me a couple of weeks ago, and I didn't really know what it meant, but sorry, these are the jokes.
You go from that into protecting presidents and that's a whole thing because you did what? Bush? Clinton Obama? Clinton was president when I started, so I had as a sitting president, I had
Clinton, then Bush Jr., and then President Barack Obama. But when you come in, like
everybody thinks you're gonna get the president, which you don't. It's actually
really hard to get a sitting president to protect. I had to wait seven years
before I was allowed to even put my name in for that.
You typically don't.
It's just what people see.
And then you do former presidents.
So all the presidents, they get it for life and their wives, they get it until they pass away.
So I've actually...
Is that a fun gig or not good?
So you probably protected George senior.
Yes.
Who I was with a lot.
So you did George Senior. Yes. Who I was with a lot. You did George Senior?
Yes.
Because they get it for life and I did a lot of events with him and I was with them in Houston
and on this patio once Barbara and George and there were four guys, it happened to be four men
and men in black kind of black tie suits and there were four of them just near us.
And then at a given moment they walked off and then four more came in and they go, well,
well, the next wave, next.
So there was, it's 24 seven, guarding a president.
Did, what did, what's the funniest thing?
Did George W. Bush ever go, would you like some gum?
I mean, I'm just, did you have interactions like that
when you're hanging out with these people for such a long time?
Yes.
It's interesting because when you have the formers, when they become a former, the circle
gets smaller.
So you have a closer relationship with them.
It becomes more family.
When somebody's a sitting president, you have to think about the layers and layers and layers.
It's almost like the celebrity, like who's the biggest celebrity and the entourage of people that they have around them. So when it's a
sitting president, there's a lot more layers. There's less dialogue when it's a former like
GW. I used to go to Texas all the time, the ranch, and he was very, even when he was president,
he was very real. I actually had his daughter 24 seven, Barbara P. Bush, his daughter.
And so I would be around him a lot.
So he would drive around the ranch.
He would mountain bike and he was very, uh, in genuine, like the way you describe him,
like that's how you would talk to you'd be like, do you want this?
Do you want gum?
I mean, yeah, he's got kind of, I call it frat boy energy.
Like he's got kind of a bouncy friendly vibe to him,
you know, like what's going on? How y'all doing? Texas casualness, you know.
He did.
And Obama would have been a little more, a little bit different.
Evy, how you doing?
Yeah, he had a good book.
I'm just doing the presidents. Evy, how you doing? What's up?
That's pretty good.
What's going on?
That's very good. What's going on? What's going on?
When you when there's a president, right here, what, how many people in your department
are covering when all times we see people right next to them.
But they're probably there's lead people right and then there's people behind.
So what is the total number do you think? It varies who it is and their threat level.
And if they're current president,
current presidents just get everything.
Like you just have to think like they get it all.
If you're looking at a former, it's well, who is it?
Where are they too?
So protecting somebody, a former president,
think of it this way, a former president GW
and then protecting former president, think of it this way, a former president GW and then protecting former
president Trump.
So that's going to entail a very different lineup of people and resources.
So protecting GW on the ranch in Texas, and he's pretty low key now, not too much going
on, protecting a president Trump, even if he wasn't running for office, let's say.
But just in general with his persona and being in New York and going to Florida, that takes like a whole other
entourage of people. So a lot of it is blending in. If the president of the United States, whoever,
is giving a speech and so there's security. If it's a big outdoor speech and we don't really
know how many, how many agencies are
there, how many people are protecting the president?
50, 60, 100?
I don't know.
I mean, it must be quite a little, I mean, that's the most or more.
So that, cause that's the ultimate nightmare for our security agencies is to have a president
harmed, don't want to jinx anything, at a podium, given a speech. I mean, so the redundancy of protection must be massive.
The real protection you see, like the guys in the suits, that's called the shift.
You have to think of it, they're the last line of defense.
So if something gets to them, that means everything else that was put into place, just completely
gone. Hold on, sorry.
When Reagan got shot, some shifty's were there, right? Yeah. I know the lingo. There were shifty's. That's a good term. So if you look at the footage, actually,
the guy who actually jumped in front of Reagan, you'll see this agent who got big, almost jumped.
That was part of his shift and he took the bullet. and they do train you. Not only do you have to
jump in front, but they make sure that you make yourself big enough to make sure the
bullet actually hits you and doesn't accidentally miss you.
How do you practice that move? I mean, do you have like bullets and you have things?
Well, he gets a lot of hecklers. He has a big security.
Yeah, I also make my cheeks blown up.
But they get really.
Do you have a lot of hecklers and stuff?
Heckler, no, no.
We have hecklers and we have, you know,
there's been a few comics that have been,
when people rush the stage, you don't,
again, you don't know what they're doing.
90% are fans, just like in a concert, music concert.
But I think we had Chappelle had a guy, one guy had a knife.
You just don't know.
They're like, hey, I'm your biggest fan, blam, blam, blam.
So you don't know what people are thinking.
So I think the idea is don't get up on stage.
And if they do, I think the new normal is
you have to strike first if you're the comic.
That's what I would do.
I think if someone comes up, I don't wait anymore. It's like, oh, let's see how this
goes. I think they know in this day and age, you're not gonna wait to see if it's
good or bad news. You're just gonna try to keep them away.
Well, I just run. I just run off the stage. I don't stand my ground. If I look at the
edge of the stage
and there's a drunk guy who's bigger than me
and he's approaching the microphone,
I don't stand my ground.
I let other people deal with it.
You don't wanna play out.
But if I had to, I take the mic stand as a weapon.
I'm not exactly an imposing physical figure, but is-
When you're out in the real world-
Is that the right thing?
Are we doing this?
Do you have a knife in your sock?
Like I do.
So now, because I'm a former, the rules change.
I used to carry what we called a buck knife.
And honestly, I had it for things like cutting off a seatbelt, cutting somebody
out of, you know, some kind of, you know, thread or wire, like I had it for all
that little stuff I live in New York and now there's rules.
There's like laws.
I think it's more than three inches.
You can't carry it, but frankly, if I had to, I don't really carry it on me per se,
because we also have to be comfortable with fighting somebody close quarters.
It was interesting as you guys were talking about being on stage, I wonder if they should
be, this is my Secret Service hack going on, they should be putting people through magnetometers.
Like when I think of that, like that way they pick up any weapons or devices on them because
you're right, people are coming in and so you don't know what they have on them.
And a lot of the folks that would come, like on a daily basis, people would come to
the White House and they would come in and the majority of people have, we call them, they have
special interests in someone we're protecting and it would range across the board. And you would see
it a lot with celebrities or people who are just of status out there. And it draws a lot of folks
with mental health issues too.
So you don't know also what you're dealing with,
what the capability is.
And Dana, you're right.
You see something, I would do the same.
I would go let the guys who know what to do deal with it.
You guys are right.
I would not sit and wait.
Cause you really don't know.
And in today's world, if someone cuts you off in traffic and you want to get in a physical,
well, not physical, but argue with them, too many people have weapons today. Bam, bam, bam.
You don't care if you're six, eight, whatever, that's the great equalizer. One thing I want to
ask you, because I've found it fascinating that you kind of applied your expertise or you're
learning to be an interrogator. And that's a whole other
fascinating thing. And you've written books about your say becoming bulletproof. So it all dovetails
into how to read the room, how to present yourself in a corporate setting. It's a sort of a whole
thing, but just what makes a great interrogator? Cause we've all seen that in the movies, you know, good cop, bad
cop or whatever tactic, but you had to learn how to read body
language and all that.
What was that experience like?
I didn't want to do it.
Actually, when they asked me to become a poly, it's a polygraph
examiner.
So we had a polygraph unit.
It was about 30 agents and it was like really the elite of the elite
when it came to interviewing.
And your job was when all else failed, you
had to go in and try to get information when everybody else tried and they couldn't. And
that was a, it's a lot of responsibility. And then everyone's watching you through the
glass too. So everyone's kind of, so you have to, you're worried about, you know, your colleagues
and am I doing this right? Then you have the person in the room.
The stuff you see in TV does not work.
So when you get in people's faces and look, if you talk to people like garbage, you get
garbage.
It just in general.
So if I sit there and I tell you, you did this and you did that and you're going to
go to jail and you're going to go to prison, if you don't tell me what you did, just think
of it from just a common sense standpoint.
Why is that person gonna tell me
if I just told them all the reasons,
all the things that are gonna happen to them
if they tell me?
And the way you get real confessions is
you actually get something called admissions.
So I'm not gonna come at you and say, did you do this?
And this works for anything.
I mean, I use this stuff on my agent and manager.
I have one of those today.
So I use all these techniques.
But if you want to get to the truth,
you get people to give you admissions to two little things.
So for example, if let's just take it back
to the criminal level.
If you want to know if somebody committed a murder,
you're not going to say, did you kill her?
You're going to pull back.
Well, you know, and you're going to try to get them
to admit admission, if maybe they knew her, had they
met before.
Then I'm going to try to get you to admit, were you in the area when it happened?
Then I'm going to try to get you to admit, did you ever talk to her on the phone?
And so what you do is you get that person incrementally to be comfortable to give you
a little bit, a little bit, a little bit.
And then as they do that, you have all these admissions and that's
what puts the picture together.
And it also helps you see like, it's a very good chance.
It's either going to escalate whether they did it or not, or it's going
to help you see that, hmm, I don't think so.
So you charm them.
What I'm curious about the polygraph, you charm them basically.
And you're charming.
Uh, you're not what they would expect.
Charm and disarm. Charm and disarm.
You're looking at the polygraph test.
Have you ever seen the needle move so big that you thought to yourself,
holy shit, this guy is foolish.
He's lying his ass off.
And how can you beat a polygraph test?
Two questions.
So it's hard to beat one.
I'll start with the latter one.
I would have people, it's called, they do countermeasures. So a lot of folks would try to prepare for polygraph.
You know what's interesting? You know who would do the most countermeasures?
It was people who wanted to be Secret Service agents. Because we used to, you had to take one
to pass one or multiple ones to be an agent. So I used to do all those too. So the guys would come
in, they would put thumb tacks in their shoes.
They go online and research stuff.
So they put a tack in their shoe.
So when you ask them a question, they hit the tack.
And so it would spike on questions
that they thought it shouldn't spike on.
It's just a whole thing.
Or, I mean-
The old tack in the shoe trick.
Yeah.
When I asked Dana if he does a good set and it spikes,
and then, cause I know he's lying,
and then he starts stomping on a thumb tack.
This has played out many times with me and Dana.
They also, that's pretty funny.
They also do, I mean, this one's funny, but people do it.
They also, they'll clench their butt cheeks.
They'll tighten their butt cheeks to cause their body to have some type of
reaction so that, so we actually, I had a mat that I would put on the seat and
the job of the mat was to see whether somebody was clenching their, clenching.
The old clenching the butt box.
That old chestnut.
All these tricks of the trade.
Has anyone ever ripped the thing off and just started screaming, I did it.
I did it.
I wish, I wish.
No.
Does someone go in first and say, listen,
you might as well tell me,
cause if I bring Evy in here, it's not gonna be pretty.
She's the bad cop.
I'm the good guy.
Do not let Evy come in here.
It doesn't work.
Bad cop, good cop, good cop.
It doesn't work.
It doesn't work? Only in the movies? It's great on television. It doesn't work. Bad cop, good cop, it doesn't work. It doesn't work?
Only in the movies?
It's great on television, doesn't work.
Yeah, that's a good one.
No, I mean, we would keep it neutral.
And to be fair, when I would come in,
I really had to like leave,
like a case agent would come
and I would actually travel the country
and help even local police departments in the US.
And sometimes I'd go overseas.
They had like a big case.
In the US, we have about go overseas. If they had like a big case, in the US we have about,
we have thousands of police departments
and they all have their own commissioner.
They have their own resources, their training.
And if you look at the data actually,
about half the police departments have 10 officers or less.
So they don't have the resources.
So they would ask for help,
which I think was very smart of them. They say, can you come in? But they didn't know often who they were going to get. And when you
would come in, I didn't want them to know anything about me, not even my name, nothing. You'd come
in, you'd be an objective seeker of the truth. But also keep in mind too, I had to come in because
sometimes the police would say, my colleagues would say, this guy did it. We're looking at this guy or gal.
And I would come in, I'd say, you know what?
It's actually not them.
Because sometimes I'd have people pass.
And then I would do my assessment and I would say, this person cleared everything.
You're looking at the wrong person.
How'd that go over?
It went over well.
And for the NYPD.
What do you mean we're looking at the wrong person?
Listen Miss Evy Pappadottos, whatever your name is. This is the NYPD. What do you mean we're looking at the wrong person? Listen, Ms. Evy Papadouros,
whatever your name is, this is the NYPD. When I read a polygraph test, I know what it says. Okay?
Capiche? Anyone ever say that to you? You are 100% right with the NYPD because I was one.
Actually, that's how they... Did you ever have to go, yeah, we will,
I get what you're saying. Hey, would you like to get, maybe sometime get a cup of coffee?
Uh-oh.
I mean, were you ever asked out by a cop?
Sure.
I mean, you play like most of the time, the way, the way you do it is you disengage
it or I would use humor, like, you know, humor is great to disengage people
and to let people down nicely.
So I would use a lot of humor.
I became very funny, isn't he?
What was your comeback language?
Hey, we'd like maybe go out for, you know, a glass of beer sometime or something.
You know, aw shucks, you know, if I could get your number, it'd be even easier.
And then you would say.
Oh, thanks.
I appreciate it.
I play dumb and I appreciate it.
I'm like, actually tomorrow, president Bush is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I play dumb and I appreciate it. I'm like, actually tomorrow
President Bush is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, or actually have to fly out.
That wins. I'm guarding the president. I'd love to have coffee with you, Sajid al-Mali.
The president needs me.
Yeah.
I have to stay home and practice jumping in front of a bullet in the mirror. So I have
to get it right. I got gotta make sure I'm really big.
So when you did your Ted talk, I'm just curious about this.
It was called your most powerful weapon.
Words, what was your most powerful weapon?
Words, you mean what?
Our stock and trade is the most powerful weapon?
Thank you.
Yeah.
You know, when I became a,
when I first went into the NYPD,
Sergeant Corrigan, he got up there and he did his thing.
Sergeant Corrigan. Exactly. He's and he did his thing. Sergeant Corrigan.
Exactly.
He's like, everybody, I'm gonna tell you that,
if you go through your entire career
and you never use your weapon,
he said, by my account, you've had a great career
because this is your most powerful weapon, not this.
And he would point to his sidearm.
And it's true, most law enforcement don't use I think
99. something percent never use their weapon
You do yeah, it's so hard to be a cop is so tough. Oh my god in the body cams
I mean they can get beat up, but they can't fight back
There's like a million things going on out there that just see and you go
It just and people go the cops aren't in as good a shape as they used to be.
I'm like, well, who's signing up to be a cop?
Low money, get screamed at and beat up every day.
And then, but they're the first ones you call.
It's tough out there.
It's true.
You're going to have less people, especially there's talks about, whereas, so if I get,
if I would get into a shootout, I actually had insurance.
I had insurance the way doctors have.
I had insurance that way if something happened
and I got sued, I would be covered.
I paid that diligently every year.
Good old shootout insurance, yeah.
Okay.
If I did something or it didn't even have to shoot someone,
I could arrest someone if they said I used too much force
or anything like that.
Yeah.
It's hard.
And even with the body cams, I want you to think about what job out there
makes you wear body cam.
Like you're the whole time you're working.
There's no job out there that, that does that to you.
So even just psychologically, like you can't ever.
Oh yeah.
A video of a report card live in real time of how your job is going.
That can blast all over the worldwide media.
If there's anything irregular.
Yeah.
Always gets leaked.
Yeah, but you have this career now where you're talking just about how
to apply this to life basically.
So words is a big, big part of it.
And then also just how to read the room, how to own
your power. Is that kind of the thesis of your book? Yeah. So becoming bulletproof, you know what
happened is people would write into me like, how do I this? How do I that? And, you know, it's hard
to answer somebody in a text or a message. And I found also using all the stuff that I learned in my day to day, even after
I left, I use this stuff with my students. I use it when, you know, I'm doing a news
deal with a network or something. And so it helped me so much. And it really helps. I
don't want to say steady me, but it kind of did. I grew up in the service and I had,
you go through this training and it really
helps elevate the way you think and the way you problem solve. And so I broke it down in the book.
First part of the book is protection, protection 101. It's everything you need, physical protection,
mental protection, even shielding yourself from people. And I would think, you know,
it's interesting, a lot of folks like celebrity folks, that's probably
something you probably had to master from the very beginning because as you start, your
name starts to get more relevance, your image, people start coming at you and you have to
do what? You have to start buffering who has access to you, what they're taking from you.
Right?
And how to read them.
It's almost like you have to read them. How to read them, who's genuine, who's not.
So you're doing all these mental gymnastics
and that's really important, I think, for a lot of folks.
So there's that part of it.
Part two is just reading people, body language,
verbal language, I don't know if people are lying to you,
just giving people the best tools they can.
Because I think, one I think, what also also help me is with confidence at least when
I'm looking at someone and I know what I'm looking at that boosts up my confidence in
that if I know what I'm looking at, then I know how to behave or handle that person.
What's hard is like, I don't know what this guy's about.
I can't read them well and then you don't know what to do.
That's really hard.
And then the last part of the book was influence. How do you get people to be less combative, to be more in alignment with what
you want them to do? And truly you can use this across the board. They use it on everyone.
But it's genuine though. It's a way for you to really understand human nature, human psychology, read people, and
then also protect yourself.
And look, I'm a champion of humanity, but also not everybody means you well.
And it's our responsibility to know that, to pay attention.
Dane is black shirt is a power move.
Black is a power move.
This is all I wear.
Black is actually, if you look at agents, they all wear, if you look at their suits, when they're in suits, it's black, dark gray, or Navy, nothing else. You're not
allowed to wear anything else.
And a white shirt, dark tie.
White shirt or light blue shirt like yours, David.
Like David.
Yeah.
Okay.
Like blue shirt, like yours, David. Like David.
Yeah.
Okay.
Because the dark colors exude strength, authority.
I wore purple for you guys
because you guys are a bit more in a different space.
I thought I could be a little bit more festive.
Purple pops.
Anyway, well, it's been so much fun talking with you
and we wish you, I hope that this was part of your day
of doing what you wanna do today.
You spent this time with us, so thank you.
David.
Thank you, Abby.
And I think I learned a lot and I didn't know a lot,
but it's fun to talk to you and hear about that whole world
that we never hear about.
Yes.
Well, thank you guys.
You guys were a blast too.
And I appreciate you guys having me on.
Our pleasure. All right, do well. Bye bye, thank you guys, you guys were a blast too. I appreciate you guys having me on. Our pleasure.
Alright, bye bye.
Thank you.
Take care guys.
This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly as executive produced by
Dana Carvey and David Spade,
Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman.
Hope you liked it.