Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY #24 - Billionaires and Candidates

Episode Date: July 12, 2024

David and Dana get into all the big names of the day: Biden, Trump, Clooney, Swift, Kelce, Bezos, Zuckerberg, Borat and more. They also tackle proposals, heaven, homelessness to name a few. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Make your nights unforgettable with American Express. Unmissable show coming up? Good news. We've got access to pre-sale tickets so you don't miss it. Meeting with friends before the show? We can book your reservation. And when you get to the main event, skip to the good bit using the card member entrance. Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash ymx. Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. Republican Convention is being produced by Rob Schneider for Netflix.

He's tying it into his special. Rob would make it great. Comedians, you know. Hey. Come on. Come on. Come on. Before every... Under your chair, everyone, there's a bag, a ziplock full of magnesium.

Take it. You're probably not taking enough. What do you think's in more disarray, the Democratic administration or this hair? My hair is cool, but God dang, it's got some bumps. Well, what is with that? Yeah, it's on your left side. It looks like you have this side, that side up. It looks like you have a growth underneath the hair. Like a small goiter came out and pushed it.

You know what? The sickest word you can say is, oh, I have a goiter on my back. And they go, gross. You go, no, I mean a boil. Sick, I mean a pustule. I always know when you're riffing for a clip because you give it that Snoop Dogg at the end. The worst name is pustule at the end.

It's a signal to the other. I'll cover it. I'm covering it. It's too much. Oh, that's the flag touch the ground. I couldn't take any more. Look at me. I got praised just recently. I mean, like three minutes ago for when I swooped my hair back. I'm going to go every other podcast. Today, I'm going for Beatles 1965 because this is the hair I wanted when I was 10 and my

father would shave my head and if I looked upset, he would beat me. But anyway, let's look at a clip. This is sort of, you know, Paul 1965. I'd go to Paul's house and his dad would be beating him with a belt. They took that out of the documentary. They released it. Okay. So big week.

We don't talk about politics that much, but it's so in the news. We have to, if we're talking about current events, where to start? Well, I don't know. Should we comment on, there was a bit of a kerfuffle. We did one spontaneously last week about post debate where Dr. Jill Biden led President Biden down on the stage and said, you did good, Joey, you did good, Joey. Some people were upset, but I just thought it was funny in the moment that she was talking to him like that.

I'd never, you know. Yeah, I mean, the fact she's turned into Chris Jenner like talking to Kim at the Playboy shoot, you're doing great, sweetie. I mean, that's what it's turning into. Well, it sounded like a teacher. I mean, she is a community college teacher talking to a second grader.

You answered all your questions. I mean, that was just funny. How do we not comment on that? When she stuck the gold star on his forehead after the debate, I thought that was a little. She pinned something on it. He's the leader of the free world. He has a grown doctorate woman, a PhD,

going, you answered all the questions. I mean, how do you not make a joke out of that? Sorry. Because it turns into, she walks on stage, going, you answered all the questions. I mean, how do you not make a joke out of that? Because it turns into she walks on stage. She's like an emotional support wife. He's like, oh, she can be up here. I have all the paperwork. She can be up here. She can be anywhere. I'll take on the plan with me. Yeah, exactly. So it did good, Joey. That's something a parent would say to a kid who passed the swimming test at the YMCA at age seven.

Right. She gave him a participation award for the. Yeah. You went across the pool two times. He's got a big thing that says I got second place in the debate. Every kid gets a trophy anyway. So that was last week. Now, this this democratic, uh, presidential, uh, what would you call it? Perfuffle. Well, there's, there's a bit of a, uh, there's a bit of a split over there of

like what to do, what to do next. And there, there was a bifurcation. There was pre the debate. Pre the debate. They were pretty, you know, there was this is our man, he's going to be Trump. And let's, you know, there wasn't as much talk. He did great at the State of the Union, maybe got a little State of the Union. But he was great there. Then all of a sudden,

that comes in. Now we're in this new world. It's about two and a half weeks out. I'm shocked it's taken this long. And so the proverbial shoes are dropping. And the latest one this week, that kind of got me. Well, there were three in the last 24 hours. Okay. Nancy Pelosi was for the last two weeks, Joe, it's gotta be Joe. It's gotta be Joe. Why is Trump not, he should go away, not Joe. So she was very, you know what I mean? That's the argument. And then George Stepanopoulos, who's a, it seemed like a button down news anchor, but I guess he's a bit of a man about town loose cannon, was walking down the street in New York, saw a guy with a camcorder. They asked him, do you think, do you think that Biden can go four more years? And he goes,

no, Biden can't go four more years. Immediately regretted it. It got released on TMC newsflash to anchors in their sixties or whatever old he is. Don't go chatting out on the sidewalk if you don't want it to get out to a camcorder. Yeah. Don't go to Turner movie classics TMZ. Now, TMZ, you're right. What those people do is they film me, they film anybody. They just have renegade people and they don't really work for TMZ so they can sort of separate themselves and go, that's not one of our guys, but they sell it. You know, so they sell it and they buy it. And it's on TMZ in like six minutes or three minutes, right?

Yeah, of course. And also he did the, I read that George Clooney, who's a friend of the show, he, he came out against him. That's as of when we shot this today. New York Times op-ed. Yeah. Joe's gotta go. Yeah.

Very, very politely, but, and, but it just seemed like there was just a fundraiser. With, yeah, I think it was Julia Roberts himself and, uh, Clinton and, um, President Obama and they have their hands up. They raised the most, like $30 million and they're doing a big glass being hands together, big giant. Yeah. And now. And the funny part was you think if it was two weeks ago, was he that different?

I mean, they're like, you know, I heard people talking saying I was there. He came out to speak on a pogo stick and it is so hard to get on a pogo stick and Biden was out there, and then they set up a small football NFL combine in the backyard and he was doing a shuttle run, the tires, he was doing five and a half. Oh yeah, four eight in the 40 yard dash, four eight. Please, Clooney was throwing him, go deep grandpa, you know, and everything was fine. He stood on one foot as they passed him a Nerf ball back and forth and recited the Declaration of Independence backwards, but that was exactly the press.

And then two weeks later, he turns into Gary Busey. I'm just... My main thesis, if you will, David, my main thesis is how happy does all this tumult in the Democratic party make Trump? I mean, Trump's got it because he's gone for Trump. He's a little quiet. He still does a couple of small rallies, but mostly he's just hanging out, probably in a big robe, being hand-fed grapes.

Could I get another grape? Just put it right there. There we go. He's just hanging out probably in a big robe being hand fed grapes. Could I get another great? Just put it right there. There we go. They need themselves alive in the Democratic Party. I don't know if you've seen this. They didn't themselves alive. George Clooney, George Clooney, who I have tremendous respect for,

a tremendous actor. He was on E.R. Remember that he was a surgeon or something. He played Batman. He played Batman he played Batman he was did a tremendous job he said Joe's gotta go he's gotta go and if Clooney says it you know it's a big deal because he's married to a very nice Arab lady she's an Arab lady she's a tough cookie and a tough Arab lady but he's married to her and she's a tremendous

person everybody talks about her but Joe is gotta be worried if you lose Clooney, you lose the Democratic Party. You lose the whole Thursday night block on NBC. You're like, it's whipping the case. The clip thing, if you lose Clooney, you lose the Democratic Party. You're gonna lose Will and Grace, you're gonna lose Laverne and Shirley,

Frasier that whole night. Frazier, you know, if you lose, Dr. Phil Donahue, if you lose Kelly Clark, all these tremendous people. So anyway, Trump is... Clooney could be president, by the way, probably pretty easily. By the way, in the comments section in the New York Times

after his op-ed, which are very beautifully written, one out of three said you, you George, President Clooney. I believe John Stewart and Clooney as a ticket could win right now, or Matthew McConaughey and Stewart or Clooney. Yeah. Yeah. I think Kelly, did you say Kelly Clarkson could be the VP somewhere? She's very likable. Yeah? She's very likable.

Yeah. She's extraordinarily likable. I think Trump just took a beating, a beating, a beating, jail, jail, jail, counts, court, court, court. And then he finally gets one week. He gets to go, oh, now the pupil has become the teacher. I know. He is like the cat.

I can't believe it. It's tremendous. Melania, would you like to watch it again? I've got it all cheetah. Listen, they're eating themselves alive. They're eating themselves. Are you never stopped someone who's hanging themselves? You give them more rope.

You don't say anything. You stay quiet. You stay quiet. And so he is, and it's the craziest thing ever. Steven Spielberg is producing the democratic national convention. So it's going to be extra awesome. The music, the pageantry, and it may be a brokered convention where they go, the great state of Louisiana now puts all of our delegates forward

to one Matthew McConaughey or whoever. It could be a Kelly Clarkson. Kelly Clarkson on the third ballot. I mean, anyone can run. Right. I will put your hat in the ring, but I know you're you're an individual. You know, the funny thing is the Democrat, no, the Republican. What's it called? Convention? Yeah. The Republican. I'm not smart. The Republican convention is being produced by Rob Schneider for Netflix. He's tying it into his special.

Rob would make a great comedian, you know. Come on. Come on. Before every under your chair, everyone, there's a bag, a ziplock full of magnesium. Take it. You're probably not taking enough. We're nominating magnesium for our vice president. What? You can nominate a vitamin? Yeah. Magnesium for vice president. It's a tough call. We've got turmeric. There's a lot of things we wanted, but now that we're doing our friend Rob Schneider on the show, he has to come on next week to repud. Oh, come on. Yeah. Yeah. He's hilarious.

Okay. So other than that, what else is going on? Just who's going to be president. By the way, they are not, they're digging in hard. That's the other story. What happened? Biden is, Biden is, I'm not going to go. I'm not going to go. Well, wouldn't you? No, why would I leave? I mean, so they are dug in. It's Hunter, Jill, and Joe against the world. Those three.

Because Hunter now is sitting in on national security. Oh, I heard that. Yeah. Do you think Hunter's asking his dad if there's any chance if Trump wins that Trump would use him on his, on his cabinet somewhere. That's a bigger shoe than Clooney. Hunter's going, Hey dad, I'm totally in favor and you're going to win.

No problem. You're the best ever. But if he did lose, you know, could I get on Trump's cabinet? Recommendation letter or something? I mean, is there a way or? Drugs are. Yeah. No, no, that's what's going on in America right now. I mean, is there a way or drugs are? Yeah.

No, no, that's what's going on in America right now. That's what I've been bombarded with, even though I don't know enough about all the politics because some things that come up, I just like it. There's nothing really to know. It's just fun to watch the crazies. It's scary but fun. When he said he had a cold at the debate, I thought, and he has to go to bed at eight. These are all just setups for jokes because you can't, Jimmy Fallon was doing the other

night. You can't be like eight o'clock, okay, so we bomb at eight 30, let's call it eight 45 and make sure he's totally zonked. And then, and by the way, that cold he had, just deliver one germ over here, just, but one germ on one bug in his nose and it's over. He's just going to be out for a week and then you get Jill up in the window like Tom Cruise in Taps with the machine gun. I got this Joe, it's beautiful man. When I get a head cold, I always look like I'm staring at a volcano that's about to erupt.

You look like the scream painting in Biden. Honey, what happened? Hey volcano. No, when he looked terrified too, sometimes his eyes got real big. Trump, do Trump. I'm in this split screen. I'll be Biden. Do Trump.

I don't know what he's saying. A lot of this split screen. I'll be Biden. Do Trump. I don't know what he's saying. A lot of people are saying, I don't know if he knows what he's saying. So, but you know, that was good. Just go nasal. Just kind of like this. He works within the TV frame. That's our, that's our choice. No, but you know, it sounds like we're making fun of Biden. We make fun of both sides. Yeah. We made fun of Trump forever. It's funny to say that a lot of this stuff was embedded out there in this last year.

There was mumbles, there was stumbles. And so the impression I did, which got a lot of heat and a lot of love, you know, no, no Christ the border was kind of controversial at the time. But now all our rowdy friends are piling in and steep and everybody's making fun of Biden and Trump, which maybe is a good thing. Boy, are we going to get letters? Well Trump, I mean, has been hammered since he he's not even president again. So it's fun to mix it up. I mean, why been hammered since he he's not even president again. So it's

fun to mix it up. I mean, why not? There's so many fun jokes about Biden. When Biden is no longer the president, either now or in four years, there's no reason to do them. But if he is a powerful, most powerful man in the world, you can't have a little fun. Yeah, okay. So let's go on also to nothing. The 4th of July wasn't that exciting for me. I did, now that we have our new term, I did raw dog it down. You know, sometimes I drive to Newport, which is about two hours and I, I have such a crummy car, no radio, no songs. Just your thoughts.

Yeah. It's terrifying. I mean, who does that? Who has a car without a radio? A model T? This goddamn chitty chitty bang me car. You know, I have an AM, FM radio in it and it's like, yeah, it's old. And then for some reason it doesn't every, every channel is 50%.

So you have to sort of listen under that, which is drives you mad. And so I might have to cough up another two grand to get another one, another car hold, but I don't have one nice car. grand to get another one, another car hold, but I don't have one nice car. I don't have one good car. Well, I have a good car. I know you do. Fucking money bags.

I've seen that thing. I've leased. Yeah, I announced myself two blocks away with that. I leased the fuck out of that. I leased the fuck because every 36 months they have a new, better thing at this point. It's exponentially more mileage, or there's a little electric motor in there, and all kinds of stuff. You know, I know you probably like to buy and hold for 12

years, and that's your problem. Yeah, I buy, put in the barn. You know, have you ever gone to the beach and just raw dogged it? My mom was like, oh, go to the beach. And I go, mom, the beach sounds fun, but when you're older, if you don't live on the beach, which no one does, where you just walk out,

then you have to pee, you walk back in your house, you have to just to raw dog, like when I was 16. No, why don't you just walk into the ocean to pee? Well, yeah, that's where you poo. Just not near other swimmers. Yeah, and then you go, here's where you poo just not near other swimmer. Yeah, and then you go here's some shark bait You know, I'm too Norwegian Irish and Scottish that just hang out at a fucking beach I mean, I'm just gonna sit and sweat and burn

I mean these people park two miles away they get their their thing Kukon kukon kuk They're cooler. Go down some steps. If you don't have a fricking umbrella, you don't have all the accoutrements, just no shade, maybe a towel and just boil, I can't. Those days are over for me. I don't know if I said this before, but there's something sad, or it's a melancholy thing

when you have a picnic or something at the beach, you set up the towels, the umbrella, you have your drinks. We're at the beach going in and out of the water. Yeah. And then it's the time to gather up and leave. It's just a little sad. I just leave everything there. I don't want to gather anything up. I leave the cooler, I leave the umbrella, and I just walk away. I just buy a new one. Yeah. Homeless guy will get it and be just really happy. Yeah. Hang on. We're going to get it and be just really happy. Yeah. Hang on. We're going to start showing some headlines.

We did headlines, normally. We're going to try to get a, let's get someone from the Olympics on. By the way, I did see Horizon, which I really liked. Oh, you did. I was going to see it, but I was sick that day. Yeah, it's three hours. Sick that day.

That was old Hollywood Minute joke. First of all, I love Kevin Costner. Yeah. Can't get enough. So tell me about Horizon. I was, well, I was a little surprised. It's pretty dark. It's pretty raw and real about settlers coming in,

making little tents and log cabins. And then the Native Americans can't really hunt there. It's upsetting the food chain. They don't know how to talk to each other. So there's a bit amount of violence. It's always pro- Native Americans, right? Kevin Costner is usually pro.

This was kind of down the middle. He was quoted as saying he was tired of everyone treating Native Americans like so gently, delicately. Because it was probably violent back then. It was violent and they had legitimate worries and fears, but they was extraordinarily violent. So it's well crafted. It's three hours.

There are, you know, I, to me being bullied and I know you were the bullier. I go nuts. I can't be bullied. I go fucking nuts. I go fucking nuts. You go fucking nuts. You take ten to get in one. Now I just beat the shit out of people right now. But there is a scene where a badass cowboy, well, yeah, look at you, buddy.

Well, you scared. Oh, you pretty boy. You pretty boy. To Costner, who for ten minutes tries to get away from him. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're too tough for me. I'm walking away, basically. Oh, I love it. You're right. You're too tough for me. I'm walking away. I love it. I

love it. Look at the little girl run. I won't tell you what happens but it wasn't good for the guy who said look at the little girl. Did he say hey, why don't you grab a wine again and some French cries. He did literally say this. Well, looking, looking, looking what we've got ourselves here and I thought that is the most repeated phrase in the history of looking what we got ourselves here. Are you a little funny boy?

Yeah, we got a little, a little girl cowboy. Is that what we got? They don't say gay, but they sort of dance around it. They dance around it. You're a funny boy? Yeah. Yeah. Look at you. You're a funny boy? Yeah. Yeah. Look at you. You're a pretty little thing. Aren't you little girl boy?

Yeah. Those are... You're a girl boy, but mostly girl? And winner for best screenplay, Kevin Costner. We could have punched that up. Yeah. So I like people getting their ass kicked. It's expansive.

I would recommend it. And it's three hours and I was not fidgeting or, you know, I was like. And that's the first half, correct or no? It's four parts, supposedly. So the second chapter comes out in August. So you have, you personally have like a month to see the movie.

Biden has a month to see if he'll be president. And I have to have a month to still be this good looking at my age. A lot of timelines. Stares at camera. It's not a comb over. It looks like it. My hair looks like a comb over, but it's not. Well let's see the headlines.

What do we got? Let's show some of them. We're going to really riff. Oh, this was from Tim Dillon. I thought was funny. He shows on the news, Los Angeles sees first drop in homeless population in years, he writes, it's so bad. Even they're leaving.

Well, first of all, you're supposed to call them. This is my thing. I, I'm not against calling homeless unhoused, but it's the same sort of negative connotation, if that's what that is saying homeless is mean, unhoused mean. You might as well just do it in Piglet and like, homeless, hey. So because if who's hearing that and being offended, you know what I mean? I guess, I don't know.

Right. I didn't even, I thought homeless was actually kind of a nice thing to do. Right. You know, I mean, they're just... We're all one bad movie away from being homeless, to be honest. I always said, you know, we got to help the homeless, but what are we to do with the clueless? That's the bigger problem. Yeah. I mean, you can't also, not to bring up the border, but you can't double the people coming

in and then they're all homeless, put them in the city and then say, scratch your head and go, I can't figure out homeless problems getting worse. You go, well, you can't bring in extra homeless to pile. We have enough that we have a problem with that we can't fix. It seems anyway. Well, it look, we have the climate in Southern California Yeah, and if you're gonna pitch a tent if you're like, you know working at Arby's in Kansas City, you know what? I'm going to LA. I'm gonna I'm gonna live in a tent on In West Hollywood sure cool. Cool. That's where you go. It's a lot of services a lot of New York is rough

Yeah, you go to parks. I mean there places it's the weather alone. You're right I see why it's more prevalent in California Not to sound mean about it. Just it just that's a tough thing that we have not cracked at all Well, here's a little sidecar Yeah, good Los Angeles is hosting the Olympics in 48 months So baby How long is that? hosting the Olympics in 48 months. So baby, how long is that? I want to say it's cooler to say 48 months or like 1400 days.

Paris is doing it. So what they'll do is they'll, the homeless will disappear during the month of the Olympics and then they'll come back in. They do that in every city, right? Every city, yeah. Anything that doesn't look appealing is gone. But the meanest, ironically, was the Oscar Committee when they wanted to do it in front of the train station, the Oscars a few years ago,

and there's a lot of homeless people, and they said, if you're not out of here by tomorrow, we're gonna take all your stuff and destroy it. All your tents and all your gear. No, Hollywood don't play if they have a party to put on. Yeah, if they have a party, but if it's just for us. They had a really important party. If it's just for the regulars, they don't care.

Uh, okay. What's next? Oh, I thought this is a dumb story. Like Hallmark teams up with the NFL and Kansas City Chiefs to do a holiday Hallmark movie based on Travis and Taylor. Isn't that? Heather doesn't like it. Already.

Oh, if they don't have Heather, then they're just going to get an audience. Heather's a fan of them, I'm guessing, but, and a fan of Hallmark. Just don't want to merge them right away. It's a little too soon. Well, the question I have, are they going to have people playing Travis and Taylor, or it's just going to be a football player named Steve

and a pop star named Suzy? They're not going to use their names, right? No, I don't. If they're with the Chiefs, maybe. Well, I think it'll be named, but it'll be like, OK, of course. I love Hollywood. I love how quickly it moves. It's like moths to a fire.

Like, this could be good. It'll trend. Well, it takes so long to come out that it's, I guess, Christmas isn't that long. But I don't know. You know what's kind of weird though? It didn't, it wasn't attached that article I read right as we got on. This is a stunner.

Tarantino is going to direct it. Oh my gosh. It doesn't seem like what I would picture. I even get a second before the great straight man. Yeah. Okay. I like it. Yeah. I mean, I could see that, I guess. Yeah, I mean, Travis, he picks up a guy and throws him into a wood chipper.

And Taylor applauds. Yeah, local bully puts the trees in the wood chipper and then puts a guy in them. Meow. Next one. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.

Wait, okay, video, hold on. Oh, this is, okay. I like this one. Don't play yet. This is a, well, I'll let you play out how scared I am. Go ahead. And then I'll tell you what it is. You can play with sound. Yeah. So it's four guys in the back of a van.

They have crowbars. They're attacking on the street. Classic. It's probably in smashing all the windows. Heather, you're going to love this. Smashing the car, kidnapping the guy. But no, it's a marriage proposal Heather and the woman is fucking freaking out they smashed all her windows in the car she's crying and now he's like nope it's romance and she's crying so hard from fear she thought she

was gonna die yeah they smashed all her windows with crowbars, pulled her over on the street, and he's waiting for her to come up for air to say, no, babe, it's all about this cute, cutesy... Why is this a Hallmark movie? Well this is... She does not know what to do with her emotions because she's so horrified. You know the phrase red flag? Oh, hold on. She's like, I gotta go along with it.

She's hugging him. He brought her flowers along with like, they could have killed her accidentally. They smashed every window with a crowbar. She's in the car. I looked this guy up and he is a practical joker. She's going to live with things like this at least once or twice a week. She'll smash, she'll pretend to be a robber. I mean, it's going to be an exciting life for her.

She's laughing going, I'm so, it's so embarrassing on my proposal day. I have diarrhea all over my face. Yeah, I mean. There's a grenade inside the bouquet. Something's gonna blow up. Yeah, there's another trick to this. Yeah, this is just the bikini. This guy works for bad idea jeans. All right.

Look at his stupid friends, the other killers. Well, that goes off. I just want to make a note to myself. Don't destroy my scar with flowers. Who are the bros leading them on? Bro, this is unbelievable. Out of eight guys. This is a great idea unanimously.

Unanimously. This is fucking nuts, man. Not one of them going, is this a little too much? Aren't we gonna scare her? Oh, I just kicked it off. Okay, it doesn't matter. Go ahead, Dan. I mean, interrupt the momentum of our I don't even know. I know that was a alright. Go to the next one. We're killing. I'm gonna think about that. I'm gonna think about that one. Next one's gonna be okay. There we go. Christian church goes viral for selling plots of land in heaven. This is a great moneymaker for churches.

I don't know. A hundred dollars per square meter in heaven. They measure it out. That's like the guy from horizon would be someone who would say, well, I'd like to get me a two acres up there. You know, I mean, well, two acres is a big chunk up in heaven. Did anyone have a question? I mean, they just claim proclaim it and then you give them money and buy the place.

This guy, pastor claims that in 2017, God authorized him to sell these plots. God, God gets a 3% cut, um, guaranteeing purchaser's a spot near God's palace, regardless of the plot size. He has a brochure, the process. You get a middle-class house in the sky. You don't even get a good house. And a family of four. Right. If it's four. Pay payment, they add payment payment options

include Visa, MasterCard, Apple Pay, Bourbon Bucks from Bourbon Street Circus Strip Club. You know, it'd be a great movie is you do the movie about this and it seems ridiculous and he's a con man this and that but you follow through the supernatural thing and it's true Yeah, this is the greatest twist in a movie. It's actually true. Yeah, and you're up there and you're near the palace Well, I mean if it's true, I sort of want to get in on it cuz I wouldn't mind having a You know nice beachfront property up there. Would you be questioning it all though? Wouldn't you ask this guy a question? No.

What's there to ask? It sounds like a great deal. I don't push it. It's either true or not. So I'd have to run it by Warren Grant, our business manager. I would just say I'm going to get a job up there and then I'll pay you then. Double. Oh, yeah.

You could probably trick them right back. Yeah. Okay. Next one. Oh, I kind of like this. This is kind of long, but I just saw this real crocodiles were used as old James Bond movie stunt. I just, we just play it.

I thought it was interesting. So this is a James Bond, Roger Moore. He runs across the crocodiles. Remember this scene from the movie? Yes. So it said a stunt man really did it. I thought it was fake crocodiles. There's his first take.

He doesn't make it. Isn't that cool? Oh, wow. And they're real. Wow. Second take. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Never in a million years did I do this. The crocodile was like, we know what's going on now. Oh now he's just- Right in their mouth. Oh he's landing on them. And the other- No, no, and they're going for, I mean- I know and he's like, I can't get out of here now.

Why does this stunt man now look different? Probably he's a different guy every time because they're named. That guy's not the same one from take two. No, he almost got him in the nut sack. No, their bodies are piling up. That is pretty dark. Roger Moore. And the fifth one is the one they used.

Look. One, two, three, four, five. Wow. Yeah, they didn't need three, four, five. Hey! Wow. Yeah, they didn't need to look exactly like him because they show him from the back and then they show legs down. Oh no, that was seamless. Yeah, there you go.

And then by the time they go, it's Roger Moore. Yeah, they had a guy from catering going, can you do one? I mean, they're just going to show your legs, put on some black pants and go die. Wouldn't they de-fang the Crocs or something? No, not back then. Not back then.

I worked with an alligator in Joe Dirt. I know you remember this. His name's Rocky. And he was made of rubber. He ain't Rocky. And you wrestled with him, right? Yeah. What do I say?

Oh, he ain't no puppy. So I have a cigarette in my mouth and I show them how to open his mouth and stick my hand in and he bites my neck and he flips me around. It was actually hard to do. For the biggest pussy in America. It was hard to do that. You know, you get hurt a lot in films because you're doing things your body's not used to or ready for. And you do them over and over. And you go again and again. That's how I broke my ankle in the Sandler film. Just jumping up to catch a basketball over and over again. Where were you?

Finally I turned my ankle. Click? No. Sandy Wexler? No. Before that. Who was the other one you were in? You just talked about this.

I was playing a coach with this high pitched voice. Come on, you got a basketball coach. Was it Jack and Jill? I think it must have been Jack and Jill. Okay. Maybe I did two parts in that movie. I don't know. But Stanley came with me to the, he was very sweet and it's totally fine. Oh, I want to bring up something while we're here. On the other podcast, Fly on the Wall, applause, we have John Corbett this week, and he got so many, he got so much pickup in different articles

about saying a very honest opinion about acting. And I sort of backed him up. I thought he was first of all, a great guest for the whole hour. Right, great story he told about all this. And then sum up what he said. So John Corbett, who was our last one last week, I think it's the Turner's this week. Yeah. Bonnie and Terry Turner, the great writers. But Corbett, you can still listen to it. But what did he say? You sum it up. Basically, he said two things. He was sort of joking when he said,

if you go into show business, you're probably not going to make it. It's such a weird, fluky thing. People do know that. Yeah, that's not shocking, but people are like, what? Yeah, and these conversations could be way more vast, because there's people going on OnlyFans flirting and making 500,000 a month and you can be an influencer and do YouTube channel. So it is different than when we came up. And then he just said at the end, he said,

he just wanted to be honest, authentic, because that's podcasting that he didn't really it wasn't really fulfilling his career choice. Because unless you like we get to write our jokes and do stuff and maybe direct ourselves with friends, but he just felt that it was he just wanted to be honest. He wasn't ungrateful. He's been he's made a lot of money, did it all voluntarily, but it wasn't something that he just loved. Unfulfilling. Unfulfilling, he said. So I think a lot of people supported that understood it you know when you're in show business you you're you're first of all in the macro you're

just grateful you're in show business making money but sometimes you get jobs that you just don't really like but it doesn't mean you're ungrateful and don't understand that you have this magic journey. You sort of giving the real version of what it's like to sit on a set all day. You work, you shoot probably eight minutes of a 12 hour day. Uh, you know, so that's real. And I also liked that, you know, he's a guy that has a lot of other interests. And so some people are only lasered on showbiz. So good or bad, that's it.

But if you like Harrison Ford wants to get off the set set so he can build a house and things like that. So some people have other things going on and he's one of them. He has a lot of talent. So I like that, but I don't know if he caught shit. I can't say that. I can just say... Not really. A lot of people thought it was just interesting. Yeah, just an interesting, very honest thing to say. Okay, next story. Yeah, I like him.

John Corbett is incredibly nice guy. He's smart. Oh, yeah. New law in Illinois requires family influencers to pay 15% of their earnings to the children that are in their Instagram account. Whoa. Oh, the hunter becomes the hunted. Oh, the pupil becomes the pupil.

Farewell exploitation of your child. So long, 15% of your gross earnings. Yeah. I mean, is that real? Yeah. Like they've made the law. I think, I mean, that's a little weird how to enforce that. You know, does the kid have to sue? I think it's like akin to child actors. The parents have to put 10% into an account. Okay, so they're kind of doing that. Yeah. I mean, these three are I see these kids on there and they're breaking eggs in their forehead.

You know, the mom's like, Hey, help me with this. I'm gonna smash and the kids like, and the mom looks at the camera. This is a trend. And you go, really? And the kids part of this shit. It is a bit sweaty. I, you know, I guess it's been going on a long time. You know, they used to tell actor little kid actors in 1930s, your dog died now cry, you know, it just, and then there were laws around working kids 24 seven, but you see it a lot. I think it's a good thing that put that they, if they're not doing it voluntarily, put some money away for the kid. If he's really, if that boy or girl is completely, I mean, if they do this,

their dogs were in trouble because everyone's effing dog is in third thing. Well, one of the first things, which I do believe he ended up rich, which was one of the first issues around social media and YouTube that blew my mind was that a kid who was like five named Kevin would open up toys and review them, basically say he liked them or not. And parents filmed it. And I think he was making 25 million a year, or the parents were. Yeah, I think there's some kid like that named Oscar.

I just make up a name. There's a new one now. He gets to 12 and they throw you out. He opens it up and he goes, this toy, it doesn't really, it's not smooth on the carpet. And everyone's like, oh. So a real kid giving real reviews, not a company.

And he was making so much. I think he was a top 10 YouTuber every year. Like a million a month, except like there's a cuteness aspect, but you can't do it at 15, but at five, me like toy. Right. Truck go fast. Right.

Can I get million dollars? That's true. When I'm on Instagram, it's just so cute that it's like not fair. Do you do, do you try to be cute? You have like a cute attitude or no, I'm so cute, but I don't know it and that makes me cuter. You know what?

If this podcast doesn't work out, let's review kids. Oh yeah. Oh, gaga. Look at this chapstick. I can't bite it. Okay, next one. This one I really don't know much to say about it. I was kind of shocked.

This was actually Mark Zuckerberg surfing in a tux while sipping beer on the 4th of July, and holding a flag. It's funny they hold a flag because flag takes a bad rap these days. Well, that's good surfing. I mean, well, that is, he's on a wakeboard, right? And being towed by a motorboat on a lake. He's not surfing in ocean, which is not easy.

But once you get up and go. Oh, that's a wake. That's different. That's very controlled. Yeah. It's controlled, but it still was cool. Cool shot. It's still a cool shot.

You easily fall off those things. So I give him, you know. He's got to hold the goddamn flag, which is kind of heavy and awkward. And then hold. I don't know. You got Bezos on the ship and you got him doing that. And you know, when I grew up, we had like they were secret billionaires and they were like 100 years old and they come out.

Yeah. Jay Paul Gattage be like 120. I got a little money. Now it's like they're drinking beer. They're on your house. You just hear about these billionaires. They wouldn't be doing TikToks and out there jumping around. They're throwing it in our face. It used to be kind of hidden in secret.

And now it's like, look at me. Look at my money. I'm going to put it in a pile. Can you believe me? Look at how much it is. Look how, look what I can do with my money. They always go, Jeff Bezos bought a house in Malibu for 90 million.

He makes that in four minutes. By the time you've looked at this picture, I've made $20 million. I've had 22 houses. This is the problem. For the human brain to understand a hundred billion, we can't comprehend it. And then they like, someone will give away 20 billion and keep 80 billion. And people are like, Oh my God, they're so generous. I can't believe it.

You've got to get someone kicking it to Hawaii. Those guys just went through the wringer and they're not getting a piece of pie that we seem to be chucking everywhere. Like let some of this money land in Hawaii after those fires. I know, it does make. His ex-wife, Macksey, she gave away. She got 68 billion in the divorce settlement.

Oh, she said the marriage was rough, but it worked out to a million dollars a minute for the time she was married to Jeff Bezos. It's not a bad gig. It's easy to be envious or just feel weird. You just, the social media and these billionaires and all these other people make you feel like there's a life that you're not invited to that's kind of amazing.

Ugh. You can only wear one solid gold shirt at a time. That's what I always say. Yeah. I have solid diamond shoes on. They're really heavy and I have a plantar fasciitis. What a coed. Yeah, but it's worth it.

Okay, one last one. Do you have anything we didn't get to, Dana? Give me a topic. Let's improvise. Heather, give us a topic. Oh no. Well, the Muppets should reenact that. Well, the Muppets should reenact that. Oh, the Muppets should reenact that.

Oh, let's see this one. Okay. This girl. Oh yeah, this is funny. She's bragging about something that went viral. I think it's funny with volume. Okay. She goes.

People will be like, why is she famous? All she does is imitate seagulls. Can you, she brags about it. Can you, that music is so funny. It makes anything funny. There's a guy that does it. I'll show you next week that does that music and he uses it so effectively. I'll show it. But I like, can you, can you? Yeah. I can't do seagulls. I can do a pterodactyl.

That's pretty good. I can do I can do Cary Grant. I used to do this. This technology went away with being able to do the old fashioned rotary phone. That's really good. No one knows what you're doing, but it's very good. I showed you technology. I'm showing or doing good good. I showed you technology. I'm showing my... I know, or doing good shit.

If people just know... Damn it! I do Cary Grant. If he was... When you're born is a big deal. So Cary Grant was born, he was Pete Canson when movies came in and they had cameras and screens. If he was born in 1820 in Prussia, he would have been frustrated.

I can't believe it. It's 1820 and 1820 in Prussia, he would have been frustrated. I can't believe it. It's 1820 and I'm in Prussia. And all I could do is rake this stupid cone. If only there was a way to blow my head up. I'm incredibly handsome with an incredible voice and people could watch me all over the world. What the fuck is Prussia? We could call it Russia in 1820.

Get back to work. Yes, it's it's German. It's in that it's in that general Prussia area. I ruin your whole bit. Get back to work on that ground. I don't want to get to work. I want someone to pitch it. He's like Dr.

Loveless and Wild Wild West, that he thinks of a possibility of movies, but he doesn't know how to express it. Dude, I ran into Borat Sasha the other day, and it takes everything in your body not to go, I like. I mean, how many times do people see the real Sasha on the street and you have to do a Borat impression?

It's too funny. Yeah, what was his voice? I like to go poopy and beg. Is this where I put poopy? In my country, wife like you, uh, prostitute, go for good money. You not so much. Yes. So you saw, and I see you must do prostitution here and you mean pay you money for sexual activity like in my home country.

Grass, grass, to see Kazakhstan. Kazakhstan. Yeah. He buys a car and he goes, where's the pussy magnet? And they go, well, it doesn't really have a pussy magnet. It's they said this car is a pussy magnet. I want Sasha to do. That's funny. I want Sasha to do a Borat 2. Did he do 2 or 3? He did 2. He'll do 3.

Do 3. You just got to find a place where people have not seen it. If they don't know it. If you're a hidden camera comedian, you get too famous. You got to really go to Alaska. I think they're doing Punk'd again. I just heard that. You know that? And that's tough because they don't want that out there. Of course, I just blabbed. He should take the character to Alaska with and go to Eskimos. So do you make the igloo with the ice? Thanks for coming, Dana. My pleasure. All right, check it out. We'll see you later. Good night, Cleveland. All right, check it out. We'll check you out later. Good night, Cleveland. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly.

It's executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.