Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - SUPERFLY - See Through Pants, Oprah, and Young Spade

Episode Date: March 1, 2024

That time David went on Carson, a film at the Grove, see through baseball pants, and a Willy Wonka warehouse. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc....com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:32 A fresh voice can speak to you and open your ears and your mind to new views and new perspectives. The call of the wild, a crescendo of culture. Listen as a chorus of fresh voices moves you, taking you to greater heights. Add your voice to the mix and let fresh answer back with perfect harmony in Pure Michigan. Keep it fresh at Michigan.org. People want to watch a baseball game. They don't want to see a baseball game they don't want to see a gag yeah like this you're getting yelled at by the umpire you have a boner he's like I don't
Starting point is 00:01:13 know I'm nervous why do you want to see through fans I don't want anyone see my anything this just in right before I got on this zoom Oprah Winfrey has stepped down from the board of Weight Watchers after you know coming out as an ozempic user Whoa really After 40 years heroically trying to fight it Oprah 40 years she said it's not about willpower It starts in the brain
Starting point is 00:01:49 So what are you gonna do? You're gonna wave food for a decade or just quiet down? That part of your brain that says cookie cookie cookie. So anyway good on Oprah Congratulations, she stepped down on the scale at the scale. She doesn't need it anymore. That's so crazy. Like when you're at a party, no, there she is right now. Yeah, you're at a party, David. You're just thinking, Tito's neat, Tito's neat, Tito's neat. Cookie, cookie, Tito's Tito's, yeah. She's cookie, cookie, cookie Tito. But anyway, she stepped down.
Starting point is 00:02:21 That was a nice fast grab on Grace's part. That was pretty cool. Our producer put that image up. You know, that stepped down. That was a nice fast grab on Grace Park. Our producer put that image up. That was good. When I'm at a party, I'm like, Tito's Tito's, but it's usually cause I'm sitting with Tito Jackson from the Jackson party.
Starting point is 00:02:37 So dumb. Why does my forehead look bigger than home? I'm thinking, I'm thinking Corona, Corona, cause I'm sitting with Bob Corona. There you go. Or Billy Sopuro. I don't, I, we have to do our framing. This is just Cambridge stuff.
Starting point is 00:02:53 I know, we're just a couple of fucking amateur. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh my God. I think that was the number one comment like, yeah, the shaking of- Gensilim. Earthquake. Well, and again, I should point out that like, yeah, the shaking of the earthquake. Well, and again, I should point out that that's a long bit
Starting point is 00:03:10 that the topper is where did the Japanese accent come from? Because for two million years, nobody had language. Everybody pointed and grunted. And I happened to do the Japanese. The French one is that some French guy was sitting around talking to people going, blah, blah, blah, pointing at the water, blah, blah. And then that sort of cocky disdain came through.
Starting point is 00:03:32 Yeah, because they couldn't get it. Yeah. So that's where the French accent came for. My people, the Scandinavians, aren't very bright. So they're like, you're different, you're different. So that's, I mean, I'm just stating the obvious. Let's go back to Oprah.
Starting point is 00:03:49 I'm so happy for her. Anyway. Oh, Zanthic. Was she saying, look, I give up on trying. I'm just taking a drug now. Well, or you could call her medication. My cholesterol was 6,000 until I took a pill it just progress It's progress, you know, it does help. I mean, I think you from doing all the hard work. Yeah
Starting point is 00:04:12 It's it's the dopamine Response is just talking to you talking to you and so you have to just white knuckle it rather than Take a little a little pill David. Well food is fun. Come on. I agree. Food is fun. Yeah, you just you want to control it, not have it control you. That's the title of my new book. By the way, so Biden comes out, you know, the White House doctor said he didn't give him a cognitive test because he, didn't need it and he's strong as an ox and ready to go. No way, no way. The doctor he hired?
Starting point is 00:04:50 Yeah, well no, it's just, but it's not even Biden and that doctor. What is the doctor supposed to say? Come out to the press. What do you think of the leader of the free world? Not looking good, man. It's not what I hoped. Can he make it? I
Starting point is 00:05:05 think so. We're going to pack him in ice twice a day for circulation. We'll give him an IV drip of prevagan and we'll probably get him in a special suit and a little inflate in case of a fall and then we'll get a AI chip in his head. So he has cognitive. Anyway, he wears a suit that blows up when he falls down. They have the technology to have a suit that will just detect you know, yeah, yeah, it's a great idea actually. Come on, I'm fit and able to carry out the duty. So that kind of ends the whole Biden's not good enough, strong enough. I like it. We're just not we just don't even believe our eyes the doctors
Starting point is 00:05:47 I could give him an eyeball test. I don't even have to be a doctor I'm just like stay inside let someone else order for you at Wendy's and Just relax. Well, this is this is another rumor that I don't know if it's true, but Biden and Trump were at the border today actually and True, but Biden and Trump were at the border today, actually. And I guess they kind of ran into each other and they decided to run together because they're so hated, so they've joined forces to run as a...
Starting point is 00:06:15 Nobody likes this, Joe. Yeah, we're gonna do it together, two of us. Two of us will equal over 40% of the vote. We're gonna do it together, Joe, we don't do it. equal over 40% of the vote. We're going to do it together, Joe. We don't do it. I won't even do the bit. But anyway, that's. I like it.
Starting point is 00:06:29 It's good. I'm out of bits. No, we don't do bits on this show. We talk, we chat, we laugh. Yeah. I will tell you about my weekend I am. I decide to support the arts. I like to go to a movie at the Grove now and then.
Starting point is 00:06:46 And I go to the Grove to see Argyle. Now, before you say anything, I said, you know, Argyle has cool people in it. I just saw the poster and I didn't even look that long. I go, I'm just gonna see it. That's how I do it. I don't watch the preview. Really?
Starting point is 00:07:04 I don't wanna figure out the three good parts of it. I don't even wanna see those. Cause if it's bad, I don't wanna see the only good parts. So I thought, it looks cool. I'll just see it. So on a night off, I grab a buddy, I said, let's just go see Argyle. I've kept myself away from any information about it.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Right. So I go and it's raining. So I valet at the grove and the guy goes, Mr. David, what, how long are you going to be? And I said, well, I'm going to dinner in a movie. And he goes, oh, what movie? And before I say anything, I don't want any spoilers. Right. You've already bought the tickets. I just go, yeah, I've already bought the tickets, all set up. So I say, oh, I don't want to know anything. And he goes, no, no. And I go, yeah, I've already bought the tickets all set up. So I say, oh, I don't want to know anything. And he goes, no, no. And I go, our guy, and he goes, okay, good, good. Have fun.
Starting point is 00:07:52 And I'm like, you paused. I don't want a glowing review, but I don't want a not review. The not review was even worse. He just goes, okay, well, have fun. I'm like, I don't like it. Right. So then I go to Cheesecake Factory and the same goddamn thing. There's a waiter there that sees every movie and he always asks me, but he knows. So he goes, hey, go into the movies tonight. And I go, yes, but you know the deal.
Starting point is 00:08:17 And he goes, mm-hmm. I, he goes, what are you gonna see? And I go, our guy on, he goes, okay, okay. So he's, you're gonna have fun. And I'm like, it's sickening because I'm already getting a vibe, right? I'm already, no one's raving. No one, because I have before said,
Starting point is 00:08:37 oh, I'm seeing Dune or something. And they go, you're gonna love it. I'm sorry, you're gonna love it. I'm sorry, it'll be good. I've, I'll just insert this. I've never heard of our guy. Didn't, wasn't it from. It didn't. It didn't jump off the charts. Wasn't there been. I thought there was a movie called Argyle in 2008. Ben Affleck directed. But maybe not. I don't know. Oh, no, that was Argyle. Argo. Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:01 All right. So I'm not. So this is Argyile, which should have been Argo. I liked Argo. So the third step of this is I'm going into the grove and there's a bar there. And I forgot they have a bar and some little bit of a Susie Susie. Yeah. So I go in, I say I might have a few knocks. So I said, you guys got a, yeah. Cheetos. I go, I love you. Go in. Okay. So I said, you guys gotta, yeah. Cheetos, I go, let me go. Okay. So I just go, shit, I'm just gonna grab diacoke and a drink on the, I didn't even plan this. You've already had a great time.
Starting point is 00:09:33 This is, it's just the whole idea of going to movies is just fun, I just zone out. So they go, oh, 20 bucks, and this is what happens, Dana. Slow motion. I go to sign the thing, give that hefty 2% tip and then she goes, is it 20 now? Two is more than enough. I'm kidding. So I go, Dana, I've been with you, you give like 120. I tip a lot. I don't know. I grew up poor. So, yeah. I know. Well, I tip good. So I said, I go, here you go. I'm signing and I tip a lot. I don't know. I grew up poor. So, yeah, I know we I tip good.
Starting point is 00:10:07 So I said, I go, here you go. I'm signing and I'm looking down and not paying attention. She goes, oh, what movie scene? I go, our guy and she goes, oof. I go, because I didn't give her any warning. And I go, what? And she goes, that thing fucking sucked. I go, God damn, I was almost in the theater.
Starting point is 00:10:25 And this person on the left field, I go, oh, come on, I'm going to see the movie. You can't say that to people. And she goes, well, I mean, it's long. Why is that positive? Is that all you can come up with is long? And then she goes, it's good cinema. You know, it's a fun ride.
Starting point is 00:10:42 You wanna have a fun ride? Well, let me just insert this. There's one thing worse than that and that's when everyone says Man, John fuck man. It's one of the best movies ever made. Oh, yeah I was in a theater with Dennis Miller in New York I may have said this on some podcasts with you, but right at work scene feel the dreams Which is a great movie with Kevin Costner I may have said this on some podcast with you, but Ride It Work Scene, Feel the Dreams, which is a great movie with Kevin Costner.
Starting point is 00:11:07 But as it goes down, right as it goes down Dennis Cuss, one of the best movies I've ever seen in my life, kind of a thing. And then the whole, in the beginning I'm going, is this the best movie I've ever seen? It's really good. So it's great.
Starting point is 00:11:19 They said it sucks. So finish your story, because my suspicion is you loved it. Go ahead. That kind of was the story. He did suck But it was it was kind of fun because I said now like you said I had I knew I'd hate it and Then I go it's not bad. It's kind of goofy and stupid But it was more than and that might have been my lesson in life. She undercut it took my legs out
Starting point is 00:11:43 I walked in going I already paid the ticket, come on Argo, I know you're bad Argo. And then I started to go, it's like listening to the song, I go, oh, Bob. So I expected, but it was, and it cost like 200 quillion dollars. I go, that's why they're mad. It wasn't bad, but for 200. Listen, here's my point about movies. 99% of it, because my guilty pleasure was always 10am matinees. You're in a dark room, pitch black, no one's around you, no one's talking, you have to turn your phone off. And then there's colored pictures and voices and things moving around. I like it. That's that's just the 1% the other thing is like, okay, I'm here
Starting point is 00:12:27 I can't fucking do anything because every other second in life. Mm-hmm. This is really this is a wisdom alert This thing controls you so it's so beautiful right now. It's off. I'll check it right before and I'll check it out Hang on. Do you mind? I don't sometimes even though I've known you a long time I get just a tiny bit starstruck Can I just do a quick selfie just a big big David Spade smile? Okay? You take I thought you're taking a selfie of yourself You had a really nice time. I had a problem
Starting point is 00:12:59 well two things happen I I had gotten these desolate roads in the forest and just me and then you see all these cows and they're a thousand pounds, even though they're gentle. But I didn't know I was supposed to approach cows like 20 giant cows and it's just me walking by myself. So I start going whoo clappin and whistling like they're dogs. And they literally are so scared they dive off almost like a cliff. Oh no. they dive off almost a cliff. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:13:22 They're like, oh, no. They're like, oh, no. Why? So then I was told, don't get eye contact with them. So now when I see a whole bunch of them right on the road, I just put my head down and I walk really slowly. It's like a spy movie. I don't want to hit a button or something.
Starting point is 00:13:39 And I go right past them. It's been beautiful. You basically have to act like a cow. You have to be very quiet. But then I saw a woman woman a middle-aged woman Who was swatting with her trousers down behind a little tiny little tiny tree? Mm-hmm, and I come up on her no one's around, you know What's up? I was trying to get by her. How's it going? What do you say? She just converses. What's up? You hiking?
Starting point is 00:14:01 Yeah, going up this way. Yeah, I'll leave the gate open for you. Okay. All right. I didn't see anything. Just some lady peeing? Well, that's, I didn't want to say peeing, but people in the woods, David, I mean, you're always in a big city and you need the lavatory to yourself and your crew clears it out. But in the woods, you just do what you do. That's right. In the woods, you do what you do. That's right. I do have that. I can't even relate. Bobby Lee's out there. Excuse me. That's right. And the woods you do what you do. That's right. I do have that. I can't even relate. Bobby Lee's out there. Excuse me, just one second. Bobby Lee. So David Spade, back when, right around when I met Mr. Carvey, he was a big famous great comedian.
Starting point is 00:14:47 I thought he was great. I liked all these guys, Dennis Miller, Kevin Neal, and I always say the same people. But I liked a lot of comedians. And we liked you. Yeah, everyone was cool. Everyone was new. I was new. Hi on David Spade.
Starting point is 00:15:01 I looked young. It's before the town got to me. Can I ask you a professional question? Yeah. How hard, well first of all, how long did it take you to get on the show? Because the guy comes and sees you and then he sees you over a period of months and then he finally gave the green light or was it pretty fast? Jim McCawley was a famous name in town and it's not exactly like that anymore, but to
Starting point is 00:15:23 be on the biggest show on network tonight show to be a comedian He has so much power and he could just he's coming the improve everyone's like places everyone like McCauley's coming in tonight. So everyone's like yada da da showtime and so he might see you accidentally he might come in to watch Leno or someone but he comes in a little early, he catches you, so you're just always ready. He watched me, we had it all set up. He probably watched me three times, and then they hone it. I don't know if people know that. Take that out, it's too dirty.
Starting point is 00:15:54 Take that, give me your best six minutes. Now I wouldn't do that. I actually told my managers back then, I said, you know, they said, where's this joke? I said, well, I'm gonna save that for a second appearance. And they said, don't save anything. Anything.
Starting point is 00:16:12 Don't do well, there's no second appearance. Give everything you got. Yeah. So, we're gonna play my tape. So I finally make it, he gives me a date, it's August. I don't have anything to wear. I don't have a stylist, so I wear a flannel shirt. I used to skateboard with no sleeves.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Yeah, young surfer dude. Cable crew neck sweater in August, which is boiling hot, it's like green. I don't know, I put my collar out like this. No one's telling me yes or no. I just show up, I drive myself, I'm backstage, I don't know what I'm doing. First thing I do when they introduce me, I go out
Starting point is 00:16:45 and it's so shiny Dana, that black stage. Yeah, it's blinding. I know my act so well and I can't think of anything. I'm like, oh my God, I've only seen it this way. I've never seen the show that way. I see a crowd, all I think is that crowd is smaller. This whole thing is smaller than I thought. And then it's shiny and the camera men are looking at me
Starting point is 00:17:05 like this. Let's let people understand. I didn't mean to interrupt, sorry. To go on The Tonight Show at that time, it's like 40 million people or something. I mean, it's really big. It can make or break you. There's people going on that show the next day,
Starting point is 00:17:21 people in the street going, hey, how you doing, David Spates? Go ahead, a lot of pressure. Sure, more than, I mean, anything would be pressure going on that show the next day, people on the street going, hey, how you doing, David Spates? Go ahead, a lot of pressure. Sure, more than anything would be pressure going on the improv. But now this is the Tonight Show. So here I go. They say go out. Let's see.
Starting point is 00:17:33 I walk out. So appearing with Dennis Miller and Stephen Wright, August the 29th, the River Bend Music Center. Stephen Wright. August 30th, the Pompkins Creek in Chicago. And this is his very first appearance with us. Would you welcome David Spates. Terrified.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Here he is. Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, stop it already. Stop. Why would they put the mic up you like that? They had six hours to lower it. That's fucking sabotaged, man. No, I told him to.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Oh, it's part of your joke, got it. Yeah, I told him to. Just to make it look like initially kind of a laugh. No, it is funny, good, okay. Like, oh shit. But that's good, you saw that. By the way, a mic with a cord, which they don't really have much anymore.
Starting point is 00:18:17 Because they had a sweetheart deal at Radio Shack with the Tonight Show. Okay, here we go, I wanna hear your first one. Okay, there's my cable, Krunek sweater. Yeah. There's my fl crew next sweater. Yeah, there's my final shirt Thank you Thank you very much. My name is David Spade and I'm 12 and First time in here tonight show my mom just dropped me off. She's at Sears and she'll be by later
Starting point is 00:18:39 Not much ever ride. Okay. God you put, I'm from Arizona. I moved out here. Thank you. I moved out here last summer to see my mom. She lives out here. I needed her to cut my steak up in all tiny pieces so I could eat it. Okay. I want to floor out here.
Starting point is 00:18:53 It's kind of a drag. Because you know when you get on the plane, flight attendant will always tell you the name of the pilot. You know, like anyone goes, oh, he's good. He's good. I love his work. I like his work.
Starting point is 00:19:03 Yeah, that's good. That's a good joke. Should have gotten more. I should have gotten more. I should have never sat in first class. Think about coaches. They like his work. Yeah, that's good. That's a good joke. Should have gotten more. I never sit in first class. Think about coaches. They don't even want you to see the people in first class anymore. That's much of a loser you are to them.
Starting point is 00:19:11 I want to see them. It's so sad, you know? Stewart doesn't come by, and you'll pull the little curtain shut. Bari. You got him. She bolts it, then she comes by later. Brrrrrrrrrrrrr. It makes its first appearance. Oh look you were squeezing the mic with both hands. Now one hand's free. We can't even park the plane. I've never
Starting point is 00:19:33 under that situation before. Every terminal is taken. We're taxing around for 20 minutes. Finally we see some pilot and he's carrying his keys right so we start following him around full of A, you know? Moving pause break. Two minutes? He's just getting something out of his plane, so we can't park there. So that sucks. Then my mom picked me up, and I wanted to go to the beach the first day, you know? But it felt kind of weird, because I'm short and skinny. What's worse, I had to shave my chest for this movie I'm writing.
Starting point is 00:20:03 So I decided to throw away decided. Screw that in. Throw away Joe. Good misdirection. Kevin Nelani. Tool around. Because I got a new car. It's not only new, it's an old UPS truck, but it's really nice.
Starting point is 00:20:12 It's one of those brown ones. It's great. I got a second park wherever I want to. But here's the thing. Run over that, Joe. Do you guys have a tip? When you're driving around, don't ever let a pretty girl merge in front of your car in the street.
Starting point is 00:20:24 Because if you do, they rarely pull over and have sex with you for it later rarely Listen to me. I don't remember this joke getting calm confident. They are working that don't let them you got to be tough I know it's hard. You know, they're all pretty they got their hair pulled up like a little fountain I can Kiko If I could just know you can't all right because there's no payoff sweetheart. All right Sweetheart he looks weak But you lost me on this one a little bit listen I
Starting point is 00:21:00 Almost forgot about this merge thing. I feel some magic here. I never felt this way about a boy. Really? Go ahead. Okay, later. Ah, you witch. You're a jerk. I haven't seen me five times a day. It happens to me even the next day.
Starting point is 00:21:15 Same girl, but she's got her hair different. It's like over here now. I'm going to go ahead. It's you. You're a jerk. Girls with scrunchies are evil. Physically stung. Oh, ruffles scrunchie. evil. Physical stunts. Little ruffles scrunchy, they got around the wrist to put their hair up.
Starting point is 00:21:28 Don't trust them. You never know when it's going up either. What's going on? What am I doing? What's happening? Maybe later we go... What? What am I talking about?
Starting point is 00:21:37 I'm gonna pause on that act out. There's no rules, no wrong way to do it. They're putting right here. They don't care as long as it's up, baby. Either that or the chip clip. You know, off the ruffles into the hair. Don't trust them. Wow.
Starting point is 00:21:52 Don't trust them with the chip clip. They're with you, man. Fucking love it. They're loving you. Somebody who's at the gap today minus thread it. Anywho. Weird, weird throwaway joke. So anyway, that was risky. I don't trust these celebrity, environmentalist vegetarians who kind of bother me that force
Starting point is 00:22:16 their views on me and make me feel super guilty all the time, you know. I saw River Phoenix who's this actor with really cool hair and he's on Hollywood Boulevard like preaching to everybody, you know. Before he died. Hey, don't wear shoes, you cow killer. Hey, man, the dolphins are all squirreled up in the tuna nets. It's heavy, buddy. I'm like, okay, let me address this tuna thing. I went to a deli the other day and tried to order a tuna sandwich. And the guy behind the counter got so mad at me, you know, I didn't think I was throwing a big curveball. It is a deli. Hi. I didn't think I was throwing a big curveball. It is a deli. Hi.
Starting point is 00:22:42 So I go, yeah, can I have some turn on? And he's like, what? So outrageous. I can't. But I'm like, whoa, whoa. Hey, there's so many things wrong with your attitude. Like, first of all, you killed it. All right, I'm just buying it off you, man. You're murder one.
Starting point is 00:22:55 I'm just an accessory. You're going down, my friend. Hey, I didn't order a big bowl of cream or rainforest. Don't freak out on me. I don't need it. Too much pressure. I pulled back in the rainforest river thing. You're killing.
Starting point is 00:23:12 I don't need river all carried away with this cool hair. Hey man, lights are squirting out of gas, killing the ozone baby. Don't wear Levi's because the thread will come out and choke a bird one day. You bird killer. Earth hater, ozone hole maker bigger. Okay, gosh, slow down. I think River Feeders are just taking relax, right? Have a big old meatball, clear his head out.
Starting point is 00:23:35 My friends go, you know, he's gonna hear that joke. I wanna fight you. Well, guess what? He's got no protein in his system. I will kick his butt. All right. I had a hammer every day, I will on him. I was just at Wendy's, you know what, none of me.
Starting point is 00:23:47 Nice. Thank you. Oh, that's the closer. I was just at Wendy's, now watch this. You're gonna, so I leave. Oh, Johnny. Funny kid. He's nervous to look over.
Starting point is 00:24:06 What? He's nervous to look over. Funny kid, David Spade. We'll be right back. We'll be in the hobby. I didn't even look at them. I just left. Well, look at Marty.
Starting point is 00:24:17 I know. I was a fetus. Well, what did you, it seemed like you killed. You started out, they liked you. They hooked into you. You got like three or four pause breaks and then by the last 90 seconds you were louder more aggressive. I know I was yeah, I mean I'm saying No, it wasn't that loud. It's just that you seem way more confident obviously you acclimated Halfway through because the first minute is just like I'm on this night show talking to a microphone, right?
Starting point is 00:24:46 Terrifying. Yeah, the first three I couldn't hear the audience That was panic mode because you're like if they're not buying the first three They slowly came to it and they're usually nice because they're they're supporting new Comics on the tonight show the new back then like it was kind of fun to see a new one But it took a while, but they got into it and then I don't even remember these jokes. I'm like, I haven't seen this set For so long. So getting into that River Phoenix stuff. Obviously he passed away after that But it was still he was like the guy they were making fun of because he was very vocal But yelling I got a hamburger. There's like three in a row. It's like, I just said, I have a hamburger every day.
Starting point is 00:25:25 I was just at Wendy's. You don't want none of this. That was like a good build. I don't remember that when I closed her though. It's like the problem is if you come out in those three jokes, tighten up, not you, but any comedian, the first three tighten them up and then the comedian stops having fun and they sense it.
Starting point is 00:25:42 Then the souffle can just go down, but you held your ground, you know, and it can get really bad. And then so you held your ground and kept going. And then you, I think probably within a minute you got an applause break after that. So I don't know if they knew what to do with me. I think I, I don't know if I look nervous, but I'm just kind of quiet and young. And they're, you know, back then it was Leno and Belzer and Richard Lewis and
Starting point is 00:26:08 RIP. And so it was, they were sort of just going, is this a joke? Because I was probably 24 or something? I'm 23. I look like I was 20. Well, I, the church lady, I've never really, really, I've never really explained this, but the church lady attitude came from what you were dealing with, cause sometimes I'd go on stage when I was early days, like 22, and I would hear people go, oh, like that. I mean, I had a real baby face.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Oh yeah, for sure. I, I too, to kind of get rid of that tension, I would do that, well, well, well, apparently would they let little children into the theater tonight? Oh. That was the first way to diffuse that attention. I also used to do, I know what you're thinking, and I go, all boys wear half off.
Starting point is 00:27:01 I did kind of a Sears mannequin joke. I don't know the wording, but, but so we both looked really young. And if you know what you should bring your lighting, wait, look, okay, you should bring yours next week. We should look at it. Well, the problem was the first time I was on the tonight show is I was on the couch. Well, still, look at me buddy, you talk about the stuff you were supposed to say. But the reason is, David,
Starting point is 00:27:28 McCauley just said, you're just not right for the Tonight Show. There's nothing we can do with you. Because I was just doing characters. I had no jokes. So I couldn't get on the Tonight Show. He was perfectly nice. He said, we can't put you on.
Starting point is 00:27:40 It just wouldn't work. You don't have it. And you probably should look for some other form of work. But then the, I got on SNLL and then I got to go on. He never talks about the ones he missed on. Johnny was great and I think I told Johnny. I went backstage and I was so like sick so I was slugging Pepto Bismol.
Starting point is 00:28:01 I had my shirt off. The B.O. was like blowing trees down. I was so nervous. I had like two friends there. And you don't even have a hair per, you just go with your hair messy from driving with your windows open and that was kind of the simplicity. But there was a knock and it was Johnny. And I think either Ed, it was one of the persons, Ed or Doc Severinson or Martin Short.
Starting point is 00:28:23 And I opened it and it was fucking Johnny. And he goes, Hey, you just left. I wanted to say good job. You didn't look over. And thanks for coming on. And I was holding my Pepto and I go, Oh my God, that was so fun. Thank you so much. And he goes, Pepto, I'm trying to quit this stuff myself. And then he walked away. Got a great, what a great thing. I know. I saw his hand up like this and he was like waving. I think if you'd looked, he was going to go like that. Oh, come on. Like his hand was reached out.
Starting point is 00:28:53 I think I'll bring him over if he looks. I'm going to scoop scoop him up. Because Macaulay said the guy, the books, it was right off. Because he said, when you go out there you walk out you do your set Can you turn you walk back and I go? What if Johnny sometimes he waves he's not I? Go oh he goes just come and come right back to me I'll be right here go there's an X in the ground stand on that come back So I come back to him and he goes why did you look at Johnny? He would have waved you over. I go
Starting point is 00:29:22 I did Russell I know, yeah, I did. I was so I know. But yeah, that was that was that was fun. That was fun to watch. That was fun for me to watch because I haven't seen it. The material was smart. It was fun. I mean, you did do the young thing. I think it worked. I think the first thing hello, I'm 12 was funny.
Starting point is 00:29:40 I think the audience was still just kind of getting who's this? What acclimated? Yeah. All right. Let's go to some headlines I'll say it what? See a fee five four yarn. I believe a star was born Oh Oh, this is Shane Gillis on SNL. Okay. Here's friend Shane Gillis. Oh my god. This is the headline. Wow. I cannot say. I cannot agree with that. That's funny. I mean I thought of my personal I didn't see it all in fairness Actually, I didn't see it and I don't know who he is, but I have an opinion. No, I saw you You've seen the movie Shane. You've seen the move the Western Shane from 1952. Okay. Joe Dirt's name was Shane in the first iteration, then we changed it.
Starting point is 00:30:46 But I will say that Shane Gillis, I thought his monologue was very interesting. I'm not going to get canceled and say it was good or bad. I'm just going to say I like that at least he shook it up. He didn't do a typical monologue. He definitely was doing things that were wrong in quotes and SNL, the spirit of SNL is to do stuff like that. So I will say that. What do you think? Those also are themes that he works with. He uses the word gay in 2024 in a way that's not a pejorative or it's just sort of old fashioned of him. That's like the 80s, we would say stuff like that
Starting point is 00:31:28 and not think about it or even the 90s. And then of course the Down syndrome thing is cause he has relatives with Down syndrome and he's talked about that a lot. So he kind of, he did, he did shame. He did his, he did what he did. He didn't really change anything. And you could either...
Starting point is 00:31:47 It's up for people to decide. We're comedians. We've seen and heard everything. We've been beaten and left for dead many times. So we don't... We're not easily offended. We don't automatically assume that he doesn't like down syndrome people or gay people or anything he's saying.
Starting point is 00:32:04 It is comedy. And that's all I'm going to say. With that, we have editing capabilities. Some words have shock value. But I do think, and some of the sketches were good, they pulled one that was about Limu-Imu, that commercial for insurance or something. And that was really funny. But they put online and it was kind of dumb because people were like, that one's really edgy. You probably could have used that. That was one of those people.
Starting point is 00:32:34 Now, what are we seeing here? What's up with Major League Baseball? Now, moving on is Major League Baseball, Dana. They got, I guess they got all your emails. They made see-through pants What are they doing Guilty as charge. I just want to hear the guy talking to the guy now you listen to me Jensen I hired you to make baseball clothes. I didn't make I didn't want me here People want to watch a baseball game. They don't want to see a gack
Starting point is 00:33:07 Yeah, like this you're getting yelled at by the umpire. You have a boner. He's like, I don't know. I'm nervous Why do you want see through pants? I don't want anyone see my in house see-through house see-through were they? I mean, I know you're probably looking at these things at night. So how's I mean, can we see shapes and bumps? Are we counting pubes? Yeah, I hired you to make baseball clown clothes. Now you gave me a strip show. Oh, my God. That's my angry executive yelling.
Starting point is 00:33:40 What? Sorry. Heather just interrupted you. Had held up a picture of a guy with his fricking frickin Wang you can see is 100% wiener Yeah, you can if you use your imagination No, it's pretty sorry Heather You like their lives. It's out. I didn't like when they apologize the major league commissioner goes listen There's been a little problem. We didn't see this coming, but a lot of guys, you could see their prongs. So, and he kept
Starting point is 00:34:14 using weird words from old school. Well, maybe there was, maybe the baseball commissioner was, well, you're hired to make our new baseball uniforms. And by the way, is there any chance you can make them kind of see through just a little bit? It's for the ladies. Shethane, boss. Kanye's wife. Everything she wears is see-through. She's like, hi everybody. She says a thong, a thong and a dog collar and an iron mask on. She's just going out for dinner. Dude, that's on Sunday. The other day she wore like, what were they, nylons with no undies? She's like, hey, you guys all know my pussy?
Starting point is 00:34:53 He was on, he was dragging her through Rome and she was on an old fashioned stretcher from the 15th century. Ah! Ah! I wanna drink when we get there, Kanye. It's your thing, babe He's gonna be behind her with a whip like it's arts
Starting point is 00:35:15 It's medieval shit. Yeah, it's like gladiator or something crazy, but I don't judge as long as they're happy No, no those two crazy kids. They're having fun Okay, here's another one. Oh, there's a funny video. I saw which one's this. Oh, this is Willy Wonka. Oh, this is different. Okay, Willy Wonka and an ad for repairs. Okay. This is a high tech we are. We was excited because that usually means some awesome Willy Wonka thing. And it was just a partially decorated warehouses, they say there. It's just, it's so horribly bad and such a ripoff. It's funny stuff. Can we see it in a picture?
Starting point is 00:35:58 Can we just have a picture? Yeah, let's see a picture. So it's very bleak and stark and there's not really that much fun. Yeah, look, that's it. Oh my God. It's like it was in, yeah, it's like in Dresden, 1942 or something. It's like Berlin in 1945.
Starting point is 00:36:13 All right. Well, when you hear the budget was $200, it's not bad. Uh, stay on there, Greg. Let me see what else is on that thing. There's a big rainbow which scares off some people. There's people that go, I'm out. I'm out. I cannot see a rainbow. Oh, what's wrong with the rainbow? No, but there's people that, you know, get a little tight.
Starting point is 00:36:31 Oh, I got you. Get a little. What if the people on the way to this exhibit kept asking people and they go, oh, yeah, the Wonka thing. Okay. Just like what happened to you at the movie theater? Yeah, yeah. It's just really. Well, I don't know if you've been waiting in line yet. You're going there? What's at the bottom of the rainbow?
Starting point is 00:36:51 Rock. Clouds or marshmallows. Oh, it is clouds? Okay. I don't think it was a Picasso that did those. I remember the song. Third grader. Remember it?
Starting point is 00:37:03 I like candy. I like candy Don't you like to eat candy boys and girls remember that song? From the Gene Wilder one Whatever. Oh I like delicious toys I don't remember it very well, but I like the movie. I like the one with to me a shallow mate. Yeah, I very well, but I like the movie. I like the one with Timmy Chalamet. Yeah. I like an old man going, Hey, can I get seven kids in my house? Is that cool with the parents? Good? Keep them overnight?
Starting point is 00:37:31 We're doing Hans and Franz and a lot of Dennis. That's good. Okay, go to the next one. What's this next story? Oh, this is I wanted you to see this Dana. This is so offensive. You get a caricature. You're with your lovely date like what are they gonna pick perfectly nice guy I don't know if we need that blaring 30s turn that shit down you know fucking loud it is. I can't even focus. Look at her goddamn face. That's pretty... They look like monsters.
Starting point is 00:38:11 I mean, I'm fucking rude. His neck is 30 feet long with eczema. Look how happy they are. Holy shit, they sit on their keys? Why are they... I would be horrified. At first I'd break up with her. I'd rip it in half like Pelosi. Okay, Vol.
Starting point is 00:38:36 My God. If you have questions or impressions, you can go to superfly at audisea.com. I think that's it. And red red neckies, impressions, and any kind of questions, especially for David relationship advice, because he's really, we'll give you advice. He's a natural about life. By the way, how to make money in the stock market. I'm pretty good at that. Jump on Bitcoin. It's not too late. OK. All right. So let's see what here's an impression we're going to see, Dana.
Starting point is 00:39:15 We'll give it our real opinion. OK. In real time. Someone. Oh, this is Evan Chandler. I thought we did it. Another guy with the same hat. Oh, my God. Everyone was putting this fucking hat. Hey guys, okay here we go big fan On your last episode of superfly said we can submit some impressions So I thought I'd give it a go to it All right, this is more doing an impression of Dana's dad. Well, Dana Christ, I can't talk to you about politics
Starting point is 00:39:58 because you don't know shit. All right. All right. This is Douglas doing an impression of Dana. Oh, there's more he should have quit I kind of like his blank look. He gives absolutely nothing in his face like, Jesus Christ, Santa. It's funny, it's a mashup. I thought it was funny.
Starting point is 00:40:30 Yeah, go ahead. I like that. You did, they're both good, it was funny. Cause that's something I say in my act, my dad used to say to me, Jesus Christ, I can't talk politics with you because you don't know shit. That's his, and so this guy is using that as his other,
Starting point is 00:40:44 and I did a movie with Kirk Douglas And I know Lorne Michael. So there's a whole mash going on. What was that? I like the combo. That was Evan Chandler Evan Chandler funny funny stuff. Thank you for the mashup Inspired I didn't think I'd like it and then I did. Hi Dana and David fast Luke Skywalker This is Jimmy Stewart as Frodo Baggins in the original Frank Capra production of Lord of the Rings from 1950 that was never released. Well, what do you mean, Gandalf?
Starting point is 00:41:16 You want me to take this ring all the way to Mordor? Well, you got Mary, you got Pippin, you got Legolas and Gimley. What do you need me for? Thanks, guys. That was a sight I like. Parker Millar. Parker Millar. That was Greg Arman. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:32 That was cool. You have the beard like a Lord of the Rings beard. Now wait, let's comment. So. I do like it. I mean, it's getting. Yeah, it's going back now. Oh, as a mashup. We should get some new ones that people haven't heard a lot of. That would be fun because people that are out there, we don't even know, like, you know, these
Starting point is 00:41:54 guys in euphoria or whatever. But let's, but I liked it. I would just say the only thing I would do is remember that you can do a nonverbal thing before he talks or you throw in nonverbal Jimmy Stewart. So, you know, I've got a problem with it. Yeah, you say, but yeah, you know, so anyway. But I learned it from Rich Little. But yeah, today it's hard if you did a perfect Chris Platt with how many people would know?
Starting point is 00:42:22 Nothing, he's a famous movie star. Timothy Chalamet, people do. nothing he's a famous movie star. Timothy Chalamet people do. It's a little harder back then. There were like eight giant movie stars and everyone knew them. It's hard. If you do Chris Pratt or something, you gotta get the ones, they have to be sunk enough into the ether that people all know what they sound like at this point. Or from a famous movie, you know, like doing Robert Downey Jr. from Iron Man or something, you know? I'm gonna learn a new impression.
Starting point is 00:42:49 I should ask the fans to write in, ask me to try somebody. Yeah, tell them about that too. Give me the challenge of a new impression. There you go. Okay, here it is. Okay, well this is Thomas Murphy. It's our last one, Thomas.
Starting point is 00:43:02 It's our last one, Thomas Murphy, here he is. Hey, Dana and David. It's Norm McDonald, you know? So, hey fellas, I wanted to ask you, you know what's better than being dead, right? A lie. It's better to be a lie. Well, uh... I like these people who don't even get out of their fucking car. It's such a throwaway thing.
Starting point is 00:43:30 They're like, how to send this out? They'll never use it. I think it's smart to say hello, and then the name of the guy you're doing. Hello, this is Norm McDonald. Yeah, it took me a second. Yeah, it took me a second to acclimate. It's a little dark, but do norm had a sense humor that would accommodate that I think you know yeah not bad not bad. So I asked this guy to do Theo Vaughn last week to see what he's gonna do. What's up guys? Dante Carter here
Starting point is 00:43:57 again I decided to come into the house this time David I'm not in the car I'm in the house. They're learning. You guys mentioned you thought I was gonna do Theo Vaughn last week because of my Southern accent. I thought, man, I could try Theo. I've never tried it. So I wanted to try it out for you. Yeah, there was this man named, uh, his name was Hal. Yep. How was his name, dude? How was his name, bro? How used to howl at people and Well, when you howl at people we call you howling howl. That's just what we called him. That's just what we called him, bro He was a good dude, man God, I think about him all the time man. He's a good dude. I
Starting point is 00:44:44 Wonder if that's from Theo or if that's his own made-up thing because There is stuff in there that's pretty Theo and people should be doing Theo all the time right now. Everyone knows him, Bobby Lee, Theo, they should be doing these impressions. Tim Dillon, people that know they should do Whitney, they're out there, you know what I mean? Nikki Blazer, these are impressions that could be done easily, a child, I'm kidding. But you know what I mean? So that's a good Theo. There were parts of it because I've never heard what I mean so that's a good Theo there were parts because I've never heard of Theo so that's pretty good well there were parts that did I did kind of hit me as Theo it felt like maybe
Starting point is 00:45:17 slow it down a little bit the thing about Theo is Theo doesn't really ever do a joke with a punchline so I would say, if I would try to learn Theo this week, I would actually listen to his show and take an actual segment from it and phonetically try to get it that way first. But I feel like, you know, but he totally was pretty good. I would say sharpen it and bring it back. Yeah. But don't set a hog in this fucking show.
Starting point is 00:45:47 Either. Yeah, we have a waiting room online right now of 69,000 people. Oh, there's someone from Peru. Don't try to talk. That does a perfect David Spade. No, gross. No, I think that's it for the show, Dana, don't you?
Starting point is 00:46:04 I think so. Enjoyed it, David. Had a great for the show, Dana, don't you? I think so. I enjoyed it, David. Had a great time with you, Dana. It's nice to see you. We left. We cried. We looked at things. We talked.
Starting point is 00:46:14 We got our framing down on the thing, in the camera, I think. Next time. Let's see. All right, all right, all right. Oh, this was three Christopher Walkins. Christopher Walkins sees a magic trick. Uh, let's see. All righty, rad rad. This was three Christopher Walkins. Christopher Walkins sees an magic trick. Wow!
Starting point is 00:46:30 Christopher Ch... Christopher Walkins is threatened. Whoa! Christopher Walkins is a cowboy. Yippee-yay-yo. Gah-yay! This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly, as executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Charlie Finein of Brillst Entertainment, Jenna Weiss-Burman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro,
Starting point is 00:46:53 and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.

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