Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade - Tom Segura
Episode Date: April 26, 2023Preferred ways to be executed, wild audience members, and pioneering comedy podcasting with Tom Segura. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/p...rivacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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I'm just allergic to the insanity now.
To the bite.
To the bite.
To the tons of tarantulas.
I hate it.
And they're like, this.
Get fucked.
And they go, it's mating season.
And the thing is going like, one, one, one, whatever, two minutes, I got what is he sprinting
to someone to have sex with?
Because, see, you talk about the slow plays,
like, no, they really walk weird there,
but they're slow, but they're in a house up there
all the way.
Creeping around.
They're, that's it.
I have an Arizona there, they're not, they go,
those don't bite, I don't think.
I need more proof.
Tell that to my leg.
Yeah, tell it's my swollen left nut.
I knew you were going there.
I know. I know.
Tell it to my scrotum, okay?
Dude, I have nothing like a shark bite on your lower chest.
Look at what, Danny Johnson.
Danny Johnson, of course.
He goes like this.
The other day, he's got a van to travel for standup
because the other day, I slammed my finger, my van.
It got all big and pervola and swollen and so then I slammed my dick in there.
That's a great line.
I know that's just a great job.
He's a guy said he wrote his whole act in one night when he was fucking something and then he always has done the
that's when you could do your same act.
I was gonna ask Lano that if that's true.
There are there is a thing a poison in a way that people get 20 minutes.
The first week literally,
and then write it for a half century.
That's what they used to be able to do.
You just travel with it.
Three students never changed their line.
For a half century.
They went on the road because they got nothing for their shorts.
And they got it.
And Tom Segura.
Oh no, now we have a theme.
It works. Well, I like the hand. They work together. Done. Done. Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-uh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-n There's one cave, you think by this point, they could buy a second cave, okay? You know what, the sunglasses had the other day,
I go, this place is doing pretty well.
I think they can move into a building.
Tom Segura is does well.
Broadway, every one of the airport,
looks like Berk Grasher, I realize
it's these big dudes with hats.
Where's G818?
I'm like, hey, Berk, hey, Berk, hey, one's Berk.
He did two bears, you did, I did, I did the half a cave
and a kind of bear guy or something.
I did one in glue and I was in Tom Sager as a seat, I guess.
So I did two hours with,
Christ, her, Jesus, Jesus Christ, your car,
that is good for Dennis.
Christ, sure.
Yeah. Jesus Christ, Tom S that is good for Dennis. Christ sure. Yeah, Jesus Christ.
Tom Saguora, forget about Bert.
Tom Saguora, well, let's just state some facts.
The guy is a great standup.
Yep, great standup.
Check him out on Netflix.
Great podcast.
God in early, does this lovely wife Christine
and they have a big one called your mother's house, right?
Early adopter was getting,
we're gonna break this down in this,
you're gonna listen shortly.
You're gonna shut up and listen.
You shut up and listen,
but we're gonna break down
for how he figured out the podcasting thing
and what do you call it?
You know the knots are like 2000, 2010.
What is 2010 to 2020?
What do you call that?
That's the teens, I think.
That's the teens.
What if it's 12? You fucked me, man. I don't know. do you call that? What are the teens, I think. That's the teens? What if it's 12?
You fucked me, man.
I don't know.
Are you saying something?
I don't know if we, were you?
Well, it was like 2012 or 13.
He was really getting into podcasting.
Yes.
And he's a scientist about how it influences your draw
on the road.
And we break all that down.
Oh, he's a down-to-loss.
He's a worldwide tour called, I'm coming everywhere, which is a funny title.
And he rakes in cash, tour podcast.
He tours around the world, Tom Segura.
Still some more money in the gutters.
Yeah, and then there's stuff in a trash can,
get the lid off.
Kick the can.
Oh, yeah, it's clean out the leaf bag.
As long as you say what you're doing, it's a perfect sound.
It's all funny noises.
Have you seen my character sound effecting?
Guy.
Gets in a car.
Aaaaaaah!
Adjust the mirror.
Aaaaaaah!
Puts it in gear.
Aaaaaaah!
Gets a clown horn.
Aaaaaaah!
Gets a clown horn, it's like,
Aaaaaaah! Anyway, so Tom Siguora, Get the clown horn. It's a clown horn's like
Anyway, so Tom Saguaro.
Tom Saguaro is our guest and we had fun with him. He's really funny fun
Super smart and he'll say just dry things. He's very like her bird Christchurch is
Blowdy and he's such a big presence and Tom is the calm one so
They're fun together and we've gotten them both.
We just go quietly until the podcast starts.
He has started.
It's only an hour, you still have the rest of your day.
I know, like the fuck.
It's only an hour, it's like a rip off.
Ha ha! Ha ha! I don't know why when we execute presenters, it doesn't go well half the time and they come
back alive and stuff.
They don't have it wired.
Can you choose to be exploded or just hit the head with a sledgehammer or Mike Tyson with
a free punch?
That's how I want to go out.
That's a great idea.
And I don't think they really give you choices anymore
and they should.
You should be able to say,
you should pick from 100 things.
How would you want to go out?
Well, first I would want to just chuck a quarter
vodka probably.
I mean, I'd want to get really anesthetized.
I've had operations where I'm coming to on morphine
and they could have just chopped me in half.
I couldn't care less. So'm coming to on morphine and they could have just chopped me in half.
I couldn't care less.
So I'd get vodka, morphine.
And then I would try to run a hundred miles in the desert.
Oh, okay.
So you'd want to accomplish something.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I wouldn't have lofty goals anymore.
I don't know.
What about you, Tom or David?
What about what do you guys got?
I mean, the feel good podcast of the year.
I'd like to see, like, if I could, like, really take a stab at you, like, how, like, how
many does it take?
Like, would see it the owl on the popcorn.
How many does it take till you go, all right, enough?
Yeah.
What if it was like somebody just throw it?
I've always wanted to see some, like push a safe
off of a ledge onto somebody.
So, you know, do it to me.
I'd like Tony Robbins to push my head into that cold plunge pool he has and just hold me
under, you know, but between me a favor, doing me a favor, because that guy's got meaty
mitts.
He does.
This is one of our most interesting
startings. But Tom Segura Dana is Tom Segura, an American hero. He, um, I don't think
you heard that. He, he, what did he do? He created a comedy empire outside the traditional
system of John Carson and Sarah Knight Live.
He's here right now, Tom.
And he created a comedy empire leveraging this new technology.
And it's brilliant.
And his specials are amazing.
I have to say, I heard a lot of your good stuff today.
Thank you. Don't forget.
I also, I hosted it as an outsized, but keep going.
You did.
That was back in the knee when they weren't filming it. That's funny because we get a Tom Seger guess prep they
would tell us that have they asked you to host recently. Um, negative. That's kind of
strange because they've reached critical mass where they would think hmm. Check the numbers
well you have to be on the radar because listen, first of all, with SNL, you grew up,
you did grow up.
And when you were growing up, did you watch SNL?
Most people did.
So much.
And what was your chunk that you were into the most?
Chunk of casting?
When will you were 12 or 14 and what year like 19?
I mean Dana is
The fucking goat for sure. Yes. Yeah, you're the greatest Tom. I'm blushing if I can you are
Thank you. I mean I was of course. I was absolutely
Obsessed and never missed it and and for that time period, you know,
so I was, what I was born in 79, you know,
when you get into the early 90s,
ladies early 90s, that there's probably like a,
there's probably a six year window there
where I don't miss a single episode, I think, you know,
that's like that was what we did.
I mean, I told David when we podcasted,
it was like, we would watch when we podcasted it was like,
we would watch SNL and then it's like Monday morning,
you just go in and just repeat the lines
just to impress you.
That's all we would do.
I mean, you know, it's just like all the impressions
and you were, you're a fucking chameleon.
I mean, you were amazing, Dana.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I know that David was there.
No, Lauren did say, David, I want you to be an extra.
By the way, the funniest thing about Lauren is saying, I brought you in as a backup for Dana knowing he was leaving.
And I'm like, I don't even do what Dana does. No one does. Like, just because I have blonde hair, it's like, I do a whole different thing.
But Dana was so good and so fun to watch that it made it impossible for someone like me
to even contemplate going on SNL
because that is, Dana's like the quintessential SNL person.
Funny scores, goes into sketches, disappears
and any characters in the news you play him.
And that's so versatile and like you could do,
like you could have a standout,
like the lead character, or like he said,
you could walk through a scene
and deliver a line.
And I think that would probably be, when I imagine, I always imagine what it's like not
to host, but to be a cast member because it's like, obviously, that's not a thing that
will ever happen.
But you imagine it.
And I go, man, that would intimidate the shiitadami to be in a cast with you.
I think I would be like, fuck, because you're so good at all of it
that I would just be like,
I don't know what I do here.
Well, it surprised me too, just quickly.
I did not have an enormous amount of confidence
when I was really, and it was a little bit like,
okay, I guess I got it.
I felt a little sick to my stomach,
but as I went forward, when I was trying to do stand up as a sketch player
without really great material, but just riffing characters, sometimes that was kind of difficult.
But as I got it forward on SNI, I got more confidence.
That getting confidence is a magical feeling at whatever you're doing.
Going back to our guest, Tom.
No, it's like when did you
when did you turn like you you start doing stand-up and you're going along and then at one point you
you kind of leap forward was it confidence work ethic or just time? I mean how soon would you're
going? I'm pretty much consistently can do an hour and pretty much consistently levitate the room.
Well, or even when you felt confident,
like I'm gonna, what one of the first times
I'll come into do this?
I was definitely a relentless worker as a standup.
So once I understood how the system worked,
I was like, oh, they let you MC.
I was like, I just wanted to feature, right?
Just wanted to be like the middle act.
And I took every single offer all over the country
to middle everywhere.
And then when I cracked headlining,
I just kept doing it so aggressively.
Like I just worked, worked, worked, worked, worked.
Like I never took, I hated having a week off.
So I, you know, I mean, not like anybody enjoys that,
but I'm saying it was just like a relentless pursuit of it.
And then you kind of feel like, yeah,
there's a thing where you go like,
oh, I'm proficient at this.
I know how to do this, but you realize it doesn't matter
if people don't know, like, people would come to the shows
and have a good time, but you're like,
man, this thing's not gonna change
unless people buy tickets, you know?
Do you see you?
Yeah, it's like, you're just coming,
you're just there because they're coming
to a comedy club in general.
Exactly.
But you need them to switch and go,
because they used to have mailing lists and stuff
and maybe you did that.
Oh, I did, you know, we call it,
obviously they call it papering the room.
It's like the club goes,
hey, we're at the, you know,
this is the Omaha funny bone at the mall
and they just reach out to their list
and they go, here's the act this week
and people go, who's that?
And they go, well, it's a free ticket.
And that's what I did.
I just did those for years and years
and did those over and over and over.
But you get to the point where you're like,
hey, I feel like I could sell a ticket if people knew
who I was. But the only thing that was doing that at the time was just special. You have
to get like a special out. And that's that that became just my goal was to get an hour
special out. And then when it did come out, it did change things for me.
First one change things. Yeah. well, the half hour did.
That's the funny thing is I remember the producer
in Comedy Central.
I'm in New York and we're shooting Comedy Central Presents,
which was like, I thought, I mean, a huge goal, right?
Because every comic that I looked up to had him presents
and I shot it and it went well.
And I remember the producer pulling me aside going, this is going
to change your road work. And I was like, really? And I got so excited. But I tried to keep
it inside. I was like, Oh, thank you so much. Oh, thank you, God. And it came out. And
when it came out, you know, I saw, I saw like some stuff on social media or whatever and then I was like, what's
about to happen?
And I called my agent and I was like, hey, I want to work this club.
And he's like, okay.
And he called and he goes, yeah, they said no.
And I go, but I have a comedy central presents, but I did a game changer.
They don't, they don't care.
Everyone says game changer.
My agent's every year, you used to go,
this is gonna be your year and I go,
you fucking lie.
You say that every year and it gets me,
actually I believe it.
I go, this one, and I'm like, yeah,
I go, like they know something.
I go, they just say that to shut you up.
And I'm like, oh my God, well, but I do it to prepare.
And then that's what you were doing.
It's like, I gotta present under my belt.
That's funny when people go, you do a premium brand, blend, you do a present, you know,
that's the lingo.
Dude, yeah.
And I really thought like this is going to be a real thing for me.
Like this is going to make things different, you know, I really did.
I agree.
I mean, do you think that's your famous?
You go, I will be famous starting tomorrow.
Did you, from that first half hour, did you feel like, um, I'll just get better?
Or, or, or did you, did you work even harder? Or how did, did you keep improving from that point?
Because the writing I'm seeing now is, is so, you know, as good as it gets, the bitch
you're landing. Um, and the acting you're doing in it. I mean, when did that come up? Was it sort of the first one that went on Netflix
or something?
Did you make Leap's even, or was it just exposure?
You're already completely...
I think I always stay, you know, it's funny.
You're around comedians obviously all the time, right?
As a comic and you see, you realize what a disease,
the bitterness of these guys.
Yeah, never hang out with comedians.
I hate you guys.
Yeah, it's like they're just,
but they're just like miserable about.
They're like, shit, just never work.
And I always try to stay away from those like that,
or at least I, you can't stay away from it,
but you go, I don't wanna embrace that.
And so I told myself that I was like,
well, if this didn't change things like the way that I go,
it's the next thing.
And the next step up would be the full hour.
So I was like, I need to do an hour special.
Which again, became like my soul goal.
And I only cared about being on Comedy Central.
Because that was the spot. I was like, it was 2013. I was like, it's got being on Comedy Central because that was the spot.
I was like, it was 2013.
I was like, it's gotta be Comedy Central.
And we invited Comedy Central to see it.
And they said, they literally said,
what's, they said, well, there's not really a theme.
That was the feedback I got.
Oh, really?
I mean, I told my manager at the time,
I was like, I think the theme is jokes.
You know, Tom, I'm more like that too.
I look at some people's act and I go,
when they do a whole special about something,
I'm baffled.
I can't even come up with jokes about,
just when you have the whole playing field,
you can do a joke about anything in the world.
And then when they go, I'm gonna do them about
just about my divorce, the whole thing.
And you go, the whole thing.
Holy shit.
And I still can't, all my hours are like bit about this, bit about that.
Bit of, I mean, it's never like here's the cohesive.
Yeah.
So we still, we ended up shooting it on spec and we still sent it to Comedy Central.
Oh, I love it.
Because they only seen like a version of it at a club and I go, here's the finished
product and they said, no, again. Porque se le han visto como una versión de la club y me dicen que es un producto fin y
se dice que no se lo hagas. de contenido de tus correos electrónicos, segmentar tu público, entre muchas cosas más adivina menos
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Wow, so how does Tom Sikura,
aso I like to use the name in that context, how do
you deal with that kind of rejection?
Are you bummed out for a week or, because I auditioned for SNL once and I was, I followed
Kenison at the store and it was a death trap and a death set and I was kind of, I wouldn't
say clinically depressed, I wouldn't label myself as depressed, but I was really. It was so good.
I was bummed out for a couple of months, just that's that.
So when you hear, no, that's two times in a row.
Are you pretty resilient?
Obviously you wouldn't be here.
Do you take a knee for a day?
I mean, you have a couple of beers.
What do you, how do you process it?
I'll, I'll, I'll show those motherfuckers.
Might be a good way to go.
I'm definitely bummed.
I'm definitely, you know, in the moment, a little bitter,
I'm definitely like, this is such fucking bullshit.
I'm looking at the ones that they did choose
and I'm like, you took this piece of shit.
Oh yeah.
I'm done.
There you go.
You look like De Niro for a second. You took this piece of shit. Oh yeah, I've done that. There you go. You look like De Niro for a second.
You took this piece of shit.
Fucking piece of shit.
That's your hilarious theme act.
You love so much.
Also like, what's the theme of this fucking dog shit?
Yeah.
Oh, the theme is dog shit.
Okay.
And then I actually got, you know,
I've said it before, but like the same call
where I get the note, the news that they're passing.
I'm just on the phone.
I pulled over.
I was like, God, and last year I got, I pulled over and I was like, okay, and I'm just listening.
He goes, and then he goes, by the way, we sent it to HBO and I go seriously and he goes,
yeah, they said no to.
And I'm like, okay, why would you even tell me this?
And then he's like, I sent it to show time.
They said no, no, across the board.
I'm like, cool.
And then he goes, but Netflix.
And in 2013, it's like, it's a thing, but it's not like that.
Like a lot of less to be.
Yeah.
Yeah.
House of cards was around that time or just maybe maybe, maybe, because that, that was a
big sea change.
House of cards, they're doing, Kevin Spacey's going on Netflix.
You were right at the edge of it, right?
Yeah, I think it's close, but I don't think it's out yet.
And then he's like, no, like they're getting a lot of subscribers now.
And I'm like, great.
That's how the phone call ends. I go, all right. Well, thanks. And I'm just kind of bummed out, but I go, what can I do? And what I can do is literally go back to work. So I just go back on the
road. And I just act like, I guess I got to just come up with a new hour and try this again.
I don't know. That is probably six months before.
Well, wait, you, but you got the, the news at Netflix wanted your horrible hour.
Yeah.
And they go, they're in the bad comedy right now.
This is our window.
Yeah.
But you don't give it to them.
No, I do.
Oh, you do.
Okay.
Let's go like fine.
It'll come out, you know, later.
I'm like, whatever.
And I just completely just move on.
You did the opposite.
You didn't bank everything on it.
You just said, fuck it, good, throw it out.
It's gonna die on Netflix.
Like, Netflix, whatever it's called.
I thought it would definitely do less for me than the presents.
Yeah, right.
And then I just, it came out.
And I remember when it came out like, you know, like again,
you see some tweets and like people, a couple of people said that, you know,
like, I stopped me.
Hey, I saw that I was like, great.
And I'm great.
Fuck you.
I didn't think anything of it.
And then like three months later, I remember I did a, uh, I did the Cleveland
improv and the guy, the manager comes out to me at the end of the week.
He goes, I don't know why the fuck this happened,
but you sold some tickets this weekend.
Wow, that gave me the chills though.
I mean, the fact that you're suddenly valuable in some way.
That's a rush.
That's a lifelong goal that you're like, wait.
That sentence.
Oh yeah.
You're selling a shit ton of tickets.
When that starts to happen, it's like, and here's the thing. Here's how fucking removed from
the correlation of the two. I was like, wait, why? He's like, no, I don't know why.
And he shocked. That's how he doesn't think you're that good. I'm stunned, man.
He like sends me the break days. Like, look at this shit. And I'm like, what is that good or just, I'm stunned, man. He like sends me the break day. He's like, look at this shit.
And I'm like, what is that?
He goes, well, you hit some bonuses,
but he goes, I don't know, man.
And then he just like walked away.
And I just thought, well, that was a good weekend.
And I still wasn't like, oh, the special's working, you know?
And then the next few months, it started to happen more
and more and more.
And then it became a thing where it was like, Hey, you sold out this weekend,
like the whole weekend sold out. That was probably after like six months.
Wow. It took that long to see, right? Yes. Yes. Wow.
That was the one called completely normal. 2014. Yeah.
We shot it in 13. It came out of 14. And then by 15, I was just doing,
well, by the end of 14, I was selling out clubs. And then by 15 I was just doing, well by the end of 14 I was selling out clubs
and then in 15 I was doing like rock clubs and you know like one nighters and like small
theaters or just like I could like add I could go to like a club on a Monday and just
they'd give me the door and I would just you know I was started to work like that like
casinos too right man casinos are where it's at yeah casinos pay more that sometimes
the audience can feel a little tough.
This is a crazy inside baseball thing, but there are casinos, and this is really crazy when you
actually just do the finance, like the numbers on this. There are a number of casinos that will
pay well over the gross of the show. And when you think of that, you're like, wait, what?
The show is grossing X amount, and they're going to pay you over that. And when you think of that, you're like, wait, what? The show is grossing X amount,
and they're gonna pay you over that.
And then you realize, well, there's a calculation
that they do.
They're like, if this many people come to the casino,
we don't even care that we're parting with this,
because these people are gonna get rooms, gamble,
drink, eat, and you're like,
the way that it becomes a little like ecosystem
sure.
Yes.
Of an economy on in a night is, it's really fascinating.
Playing the desert in in Vegas, which was an incredible room.
Now it's the wind.
It was blowing up 600 seats low ceiling.
I go down for the sound check and they got a gumbaw type manager there and I go, how
do you take a sale?
I have the ticket sales.
And this is a quote, Mark Pitter was there, my opener,
he goes, what do I give a shit?
I got Indonesian strawp and 10 lodge upstairs tonight.
Ha, ha, ha.
Yeah, that's all it is.
And the Indonesian's dropping 10 large.
But yeah, and they do the analytics,
they told me they'll see what character top numbers are
or like how much money is dropped in the casino that
on your night.
Yeah.
Does your audience go out and then does your audience drink?
Does your audience get drunk and leverage their house?
Do our high rollers ask for your tickets because you can see the front row and a lot of times
when you do Vegas or in these places, casinos, the front row is sparse,
or it's choppy because people go,
give me tickets to everything I'm a high roller
and they go, you got two tickets up front.
If you want them, you got this,
this, they walk in like Meghan Markle,
the middle of your set, if they want.
But sometimes they go, now we, you know,
I think what the calculations,
they just need to get them.
And the showroom's always in the very far this corner
of the casino.
So they have to walk by and they calculate,
they probably spend $22 on slots on the way out of boredom.
They walk by our restaurants, they probably eat it one.
Now they're aware of our casino
because Tom Segura, they've never come here,
but because we're mixing up our acts, they go,
oh, I'll go see him and they go,
oh, I've never been to this casino, I'll come back. So they got to get them in somehow. They don't
want you to do your act. Yeah. Get them in touch, base and go back out. I just had this happen
at a casino. This is wild. I'm backstage. And it's a big room. It's a 6,000-seat room. So,
6,000 seat room. So, basically, it's a, what they consider a half arena, right? Yeah. Okay. That type of shell design. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Big room. And there's, and those types
of rooms, the way that it's laid out, it's kind of hard. You can't really peek out. They
have huge, you know, scaffolding and curtains everywhere. But I hear Kirk Fox, who's on stage.
And I hear him at one point go,
hey man, he goes, hey man,
you gotta calm down, okay?
And it's not like, I'm like,
this is definitely some shit.
If Kirk is saying that, he's pretty chill, great stuff.
Yeah, he's pretty chill and he's like,
he's so funny.
And so it makes my ear,
it catches my ear so I turn and I'm like,
what's going on?
So I try to see, but I can't really see.
I just see a curk up there on the stage.
And then a few minutes pass and he goes, hey, man, hey, dude, I'm telling you, I want you
to stay, but you got to calm down.
And so then I'm backstage, and I you know, at these big casinos,
there's like 200 security staff, like it's a lot of security, right? So they start coming
around. I hear they're all on their walkies and their earpieces and they're, so I'm like,
what is happening? And they're like, well, there's, there's this guy in the front row. And
I'm like, what's going to happen? What are we going to, what's gonna happen? What are we gonna do? What are you gonna do? Yeah.
And they go, well, we think it's gonna be too disruptive
to remove him during Kirk's set.
So what we're gonna do is,
because he's like getting through it, he's almost done,
when he gets off stage and you're gonna about to go on stage,
that's when we'll remove him.
And I go, hey man, it's's, it's your, like, your
security, do whatever you want. I just, I just want to know what's going on. And that
they're like, that's what we're going to do. I go, okay, great. Kirk finishes his
day, says, good night. He walks off stage. They start playing a song. And that's like
my cue that I have like 10 seconds, and then I walk on stage. So I walk on stage and as I walk on stage, I grab the mic and I see like eight,
nine yellow security shirts, you know, big black letters on it, all gathered around the
studio in the front row. So I'm just, you know, how's everybody doing? I'm just still
like, what's up? And I grab the mic and I'm like, Hey, and I can't even get out the first sentence
and this becomes mayhem, right?
So like they are holding this guy
and I see his head pop out from under like a choco
and he goes, Tom, Tom.
Oh my God.
Yeah, he goes, I came to see you and I go,
what do you mean to do? And he goes, help me. Oh my God. Yeah, he goes, I came to see you and I go, what do you mean to do?
And he goes, help me.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
I go, I think it's beyond my control now.
They start to pull him and dude,
it's taking like six, seven guys.
His girl pops up and she fucking punches one of the,
one of the security guys.
Yeah, and I'm like, and I'm sitting here from the stage, I haven't started talking yet. And she fucking punches one of the security guys. Yeah.
And I'm like, and I'm sitting here from the stage, I haven't started talking yet.
Everyone's watching and you, you're all just watching.
Yeah. And there's the jumbo trying watching you watch.
And I'm just like, you got to be kidding me.
She turns and starts yelling at me too.
I go, what do you mean to do?
She takes her beer, throws it on one of the security guys.
Smart.
The guys start dragging the guy out.
And when they drag him out, he takes them into an aisle.
So he drags security guys into an aisle.
I see shoes come off, pants come off.
They finally get them stood up, underwares off.
He's fully naked in the arena now, right?
It's Connor McGregor. I'm like, oh my god
This guy's like I would say maybe five nine two hundred sixty five two hundred seventy pounds. Okay, so looks good
It was as close off looks great. It's a nice shot. I'm able to put like the show back on the tracks
I finally get off stage and I'm like I'm'm like, dude, that was a fucking wildest opening
to a show I've ever had.
And they go, yeah, you know, the cops here, that guy's in jail, blah, blah, blah.
Like half an hour later, we're walking through the casino.
There's the guy.
No, there's the guy in his, and I'm like, how is he?
You walking around.
You betrayed me.
He doesn't see me.
But when he walks by, we're all like, that's the guy.
And we talk to one of the security people, high roller.
He's a front row high roller.
Whale.
Yeah, he's a whale.
They're like, yeah, I go this dude,
this dude knocked one of your...
Ha ha ha ha.
And then what they get away with.
They're like, yeah, 10 grand a hand, dude.
It's fine. It's totally fine.
willing to look the other way.
So how did you, how long did it take you to feel like you're doing your set then after he
goes out naked and they're screaming and fighting?
Did you go into your set or you do like old club stuff where you kind of do all
quasi crowd work? You know, the finding it's always less time than you think. Like in your head, you're like, club stuff for you kind of do all quasi crowd work. You know, the funny thing is it's always less time than you think.
Like in your head, you're like, that was 10 minutes.
It's really like three, but three minutes of talking about something
that's happening in the room is a long time.
And it's not jokes and you're uncharted territory.
You don't know if it's funny.
And you wanted to start going, anyway, dogs are funny.
And then we'll go, oh, we're back in the act.
Did you get an angle on it, Tom, because you're experienced?
Because a lot of times I would intuitively
go from that guy's point of view.
Let's go to the show tonight.
It's gonna be great.
Or just find an angle about it, you know?
Yeah, I was making commentary about it.
I was asking, you know, when I was asking,
like, I would see big muscular dudes, like, you know,
where were you?
We needed you, like, a long ago.
Yeah, okay, there you go.
Anytime that I would say something in the act
that referenced like somebody who is out of their mind,
drunk or drunk, you know, I'd make reference to the guy.
He was like, he was like a callback thing.
Oh, a call, a in call back is nice.
I would also tell the people how I would, I would reference other popular comedians and
how they would not have gotten that at one of their shows.
You know, I was like, oh, that's your crowd.
And that every, every night you have some naked guy fighting security guards, it's not
a thing.
I was like, you think you're going to get this at a Sebastian show?
You know what's good?
Dana, do you ever do this one?
Where you go?
These guys that work their jokes in, they go,
like they go, where are you from?
The guy goes, he wants to hear Cleveland,
and he goes, since then, he goes.
This guy last night was from Cleveland,
and he said, and you go, was it always last night,
and I go, I see the guy seven nights in a row, say it,
I go, oh, that's just part of his act.
If they're not, if it's not what he wants to hear or you could go, this guy last night started
to shit in the front row and then you say that
for three years.
Everything's last night.
Or what is the town that you mentioned
that'll get a big reaction?
Like I was in, you know, Bucks County
and, you know, whatever town away,
that just gets a huge laugh.
And Fresno, it was Merced, I think, or, you know,
just, you have to be a reliable person Dana, It's a huge laugh. And Fresno, it was Merced, I think, or you know, just.
You have to be a reliable person, Dana.
They give you the wrong one and it bombs.
Yeah.
Just to fuck with him.
It's like at a corporate gig when they go make fun of the crowd and the guy goes, I
know everybody here, you know what's funny?
Talk about our VP of sales.
He has three balls and beats his wife.
Say something about that and I go, oh, I don't know.
And then you say something and everyone's like, what the fuck are you talking about?
And the guy's like, is that hilarious?
You're like, no, Jim has MS, but he's got a sense of humor about it.
He really laughs about it.
And you're like, oh, okay, okay.
Yeah.
So I'm always jealous.
Jay Leno tell me he was doing a corporate date and he's just making fun of some couple.
You know, a lot of people, you know, they hook up when they're on the road,
it's just that. And then the woman was next to the guy and she, she's got up and
screamed and cried and ran out. You don't know what, what you're touching.
Tom, when you were doing this with the Dana, I'm sorry, I have to go back.
You, the one, the information you didn't have, which might have helped, is what went on for so long?
Was he pushing people, was he yelling?
I got, I found out, I found out.
So when I, when all the ship finally came,
I was like, Kirk, what was happening?
He was like, dude, and this is one of the worst things
people think about, you know, about heckling and stuff.
He was repeating everything that Kirk said back to Kirk, but he's in the front row and
loudly.
So, like, you know, Kirk would be like, and then, you know, I rode the bus, he'd be like,
you rode the bus!
Ha ha!
The bus!
Like so, he was just like, hey man, like, you just got to relax.
I just had that, the comedy store, the guy,
I don't even know if something was up with him,
but he looked like he's in a great time,
and he just kept saying my punchline after
to the people around him.
It's the worst.
But everyone hears it, and it stops my next setup.
And I'm like, I go, hey man, you know, I try to be nice.
And when they kicked him out, he was the same thing.
He's like, David, Tom wouldn't help me, but would you?
Would you?
God, but he did say, hey man, he looks tough to me
and that's the weirdest feeling.
I'm like, I can't.
I have to let you go now.
I'm scared.
I had a guy on the balcony scream.
I got even know what's going on.
It's a balcony. It's a balcony.
It's a melee now.
Theater, this is a different show.
So I'm just on stage and he just starts to yell,
they're throwing out the wrong guy, right?
And I'm like, what?
He's like, they're throwing out the wrong guy.
Wow. And I go, I don't know. It sounds like the right guy to
make it like all of it too is all always related to just boost. They're always just drunk. Yeah.
Yeah. That guy in the front row was drunk. This guy's drunk. Yeah. It's always alcohol. I sometimes
will get because of church lady, just someone in the back about every 10 seconds just going lady.
Throughout my set lady.
So gross.
Yeah.
And that's why we love stand up when you have a hot.
When they start, Dana, they start yelling at each other and it's pure chaos.
This guy's like, Hey, shut the fuck up.
And he goes, fuck you.
Yeah.
And I go, yeah, I love.
I love when the audience is heckling he goes, fuck you. Yeah. And I go, yeah, I love, I go with the audience
is heckling each other.
This is fucking amazing.
Or that you look over and they're standing at the stage.
A drunk guy, six foot five is just standing there.
He's on the stage with you now.
Do you hold your ground?
We ask him, and you hold your ground.
I don't.
I said, you got it.
Go ahead.
Some people, if they have a guitar, they'll fight,
or try to fight for the stage.
If someone storms it, I leave. But you're pretty, you look pretty like you could handle yourself
physically, Tom.
You probably could fight a Hechler.
I don't know.
It depends on the, if you, if you're six, five, all right, making five, ten.
Oh, yeah.
I'm taking the mic stand and swinging it at him for sure.
Yeah.
Let's go go man. So what I'm curious about to pivot for a second if you guys want is that fairly recently,
because I've been at this a long time, you just started to make some money, real money,
you're stacking money in the bank, you know, it's happening right, you're making real
money.
It's fortnight. Yeah. And now it's just only six, seven years later
and you have at least probably 50 grand net
in the bank right now.
So easy.
But anyway, you've gotten incredibly successful
in such a short period of time outside the systems.
I don't know, I have a question.
It's just an observation.
It's just an extraordinary story that we hear about
as comedians, Tom's doing this.
Tom did that.
Tom did a live stream.
Tom, Tom, that's all I hear about.
It's really fun and Sebastian.
And then there's Sebastian too.
There's just people who I hear about him.
Well, you're doing a lot of stuff.
Now, Tom, my question is when you are doing,
okay, so you do sort of maybe like a formula where we jumped off, you do a special.
It looks like you did one mostly stories for Netflix, and then they asked you for another
one and your first one obviously seeped in, so you go, yeah, I'll do another one.
But now you have to come up with a new hour, I guess, that's hard.
So you do that, and now it's a system.
Are you starting a podcast around now?
Or did you have it?
I started the podcast three years,
almost three years before the first special.
Oh, okay, so 2010,
a lot of time.
May the 2010, I started the podcast.
Okay.
That cool thing about that was
those definitely started to feed each other.
Sure.
Even if, you know, I don't know,
I remember at one point I think we had
20,000 listeners on the podcast,
spread out, that's not that many people,
but if you're just trying to do like a one-nighter somewhere
and you're like, hey, I'm going to Chicago.
And you know, of those 20,000 people listening, you might have like about 1000 in Chicago.
You might be able to get 400 of them to come out.
That is actually a big deal at that point.
Because you're selling 400 tickets when people are like, how the hell did you get 400 people
to come out tonight?
You know?
They're buying booze.
It helps the club.
Oh yeah.
That was a huge game changer then.
And then when the special came out and people go, Hey, I like this guy, right?
You know, I like your special.
What else do you have?
And you know, they discovered the podcast, you know, some of them like it, some of them
dump.
But you're definitely bringing in a new audience of people.
So those have continued, every special and every year of the podcast, they've continued
to grow and they feed each other.
They feed each other.
And now there's just tremendous amounts of money.
Yeah.
Well, we're rich too.
I know.
No, I mean, I grew up incredibly middle class, apparently.
David, his nickname is Silver Spoon.
It was always easy.
My parents were both strippers.
I made money, I got paid in ones.
I slept on a bed with covered in ones every night.
My mom would throw them out at me and my dad.
You will get to this other stuff too.
I have a lot of personal questions.
I have to ask you off camera.
You had a good year spade, don't lie.
No, I'm fine.
Well, I did my, I didn't HBO special years ago.
And that really didn't affect standup
because I wasn't doing it much.
It was on just shoot me and stuff.
But I wasn't out that much, you know?
So I do the improv and Irvine or San Diego or something,
which is great.
But I wasn't really making a lot of money in standup.
And so I didn't really capitalize off lot of money in stand-up.
So I didn't really capitalize off it other than it made me more known in some way.
I noticed with Tom on the disgraceful one, will the audience give you a standing innovation?
That was the 2018.
That seemed to be another giant leap.
Yeah.
That propelled the next tour to each tour has gone like another level.
I mean, the current tour was a huge leap from the 2019 tour.
I looked at it.
It's kind of unfathomable.
I'm coming everywhere.
Yeah, all over the world.
But, you know, I think going for my own had the theme I did, you know, you are the
message.
You know, your likeability and
relatability and you can, you can see where the audience go, that's our guy, you know, because
you're going into territory where you're working completely clean. And then you'll also just surprise
everybody and go wherever you want to go. And then you'll make it okay. It's, I get your popularity.
I've spent a day watching all your stuff, so I understand it.
You are politically incorrect,
which I think, and some of your stuff,
which is a blessing, but you don't lean on it.
Yeah, I think, I don't know, there's this thing,
I'm sure it's not anything new,
but I just always tried to, I remember people saying early on, they're like, just, the thing you have to do is say
things that make you like, don't go, I wonder if people will like this, and I'll say it,
like, I try to stick to like genuinely this point of view makes me laugh, this story makes
me laugh.
If I think something is, I'm talking about like a societal norm is worth worthy of mockery
than like, I go for, I go, I'm going to, I think I feel like mocking this.
So then I just do that.
But I'm not doing it because I hope this audience likes it and this one won't.
I just, I try to stay honest to what makes me laugh.
And also when you walk out there and your whole physical demeanor and you're so relaxed,
I mean, even next level and so comfortable, it's a living room. So if something doesn't land,
you kind of smile like drowning the dog. It's not about, you'd have to, for people who are listening
right now, it's a long story about loving his kid more than an animal. But and then the way you, you just went places people don't expect.
And so that's the antithesis of boredom.
You don't know what Tom Sagar is going to do.
And you can't see it coming.
You don't want to act where you can see it coming and you go and then he's going to say
this and then that.
But that is a hard thing to do.
But it doesn't, like Daniel was saying, you're out of the box a bit.
So you're sort of underground, but famous.
And then you make a ton of money more than most people
that people are know of that are, you know,
household names.
And you've done it on your own terms.
And also, I don't think you are as worried
about getting canceled because what are they canceling you
from?
You're your own boss, your own podcast. you are as worried about getting canceled because what are they canceling you from?
Your own boss, your own podcast.
What am I going to get not hired to do?
Your own show, you have 54 podcasts, you have Dana, you know, his tour is called, I'm
coming everywhere, it's funny, funny, his name.
I heard you talk about that and I heard you talk about taking a private jet, which is
hard to talk about, of course, but it is fun to talk about because you're right that
in some of those instances, there's almost no way to get to where you got to go with that.
There, I mean, what I actually explained on a couple of podcasts was the fact that if
you're touring as insanely as I'm talking about logistically, I go,
I don't have to charter a plane, but I go, what I would have to do is reduce this tour.
Like there would be no way to go.
I'm doing Ottawa and then Spokane and then Eugene and then Boise.
I go, well, you just can't do that if you're flying commercially,
so we would just change the tour.
Sure, I mean, it's what you want to do
and if you can factor it in and you're making it up,
it's fine.
It's really just all numbers game.
And if you, on my tour, I don't do it
as hitting the pavement as hard as you,
but when I do it and I have three nights in a row usually,
if there's a connection involved, it's already read flag because it's a red flag. pavement as hard as you, but when I do it and I have three nights in a row, usually, if
there's a connection involved, it's already a red flag because that's a red flag with no
one coming to work lately. COVID, cancel flights. You're like, I, and I don't like going the
day before every show because that's such a production. Then you're there all night,
then all day again. So decisions have to be made, but it's obviously private jets,
perk people's ears because it's one of those things that even if you're rich, it's
out of your league. Like that's such an excess. It's such an indulgence. It is time travel.
Like the thing that's crazy about it is you go, I can't believe the show ended and now
we're in the next city. And it only been two out like if it feels like you
Teleported the thing about it is you go, you know like I you don't have to do it. It does make a tour like this possible
I will say this, you know, we don't do it like
Every leg of this tour every flight or anything the times on this tour that we've done
commercial travel 90% of them have come with an issue,
meaning like delays, cancellations.
It has, so every time we do it, we're like, oh my God.
It like we're so much more appreciative of
when we have been able to charter
because it has screwed up almost every leg
of travel that we've done with it.
Oh yeah, you gotta come in early them
because you can't trust a commercial.
Yeah, and so you have a job to do.
I heard that early on when Louis CK first did a citation 10,
like, okay, I gotta do this.
So we do three dates.
So the first date would just pay for the jet
and then do the next two dates.
That's how different it is. And turns of your health and wellness when you're touring like you are like more than 200 dates a year
The multiple flights and you can beat the shit out of yourself like it's not
It does. I mean we do that travel which obviously like makes it nicer. I bring a trainer with me, dude
I bring a trainer with me, dude. I bring a trainer with me because it's trying to
just keep your mental and physical health going. Yeah, it's fucking so demanding. It's just not,
it shouldn't be allowable. If you have the means to have a trainer and eat well and actually do
the tour and end up not hurting your health, you know, it's people kind of ignore that. But why am I doing this if I'm gonna end up coming back home
and have gained all this weight and have migraines or whatever?
So I'm glad to hear that you're pacing it that way.
And I've done that, you know, like in my earlier years,
my touring, which was not at this level,
was me gaining 30 pounds in a year
and feeling like shit all the time.
Because you're eating at every airport and eating
and if you can control it, plus the bottom line is,
for me, I'm sure you guys too, you owe the audience
a good show and you need to be present.
It's harder than it seems to sit there and do your hour
or over an hour, whatever and go, it's like a play.
You have to remember all the connective tissue
and all everything, it has to flow.
And if you're out of it a little bit,
sometimes you're missing beats and just offer them
and they pay the price.
So they're paying a lot, they're coming out,
they're getting babysitters.
You're like, shit, I gotta get there on time,
I gotta be ready, I gotta look okay.
And I think everyone feels that.
So whatever it takes, yeah, you gotta try.
You gotta try, man.
And I always, I don't know if you ever do this,
but like your backstage and maybe you're,
you're worn out, you're just dragin' you like,
man, that's the fucking seventh show this week.
And fourth city and I'm like, God damn it.
And I'll be on my phone and I'll pull up.
And this is like, I guess the upside
to seeing a social media thing. I'll see things my phone and I'll pull up and this is like I guess the the upside to seeing a social media thing
I'll see things I'm tagged in and you see people in the audience
Yeah, and then I see that and I'm like, oh man, they're like so pumped to be here
And it completely changes my
My like my mental state before I go I'm like, you know what? These people are excited
I need to get excited I need to like wake up
and appreciate the fact that there's people here
and like try to have a good show.
But it's easy to fall into the other side, you know?
Yeah, I think I call it the forget to have fun problem.
And if you forget to have fun and you're out there
and you're not, it's not feeling right.
And you go, oh, I forgot to have fun.
Do you have a trick?
Do you have it?
Like, I used to like, I always say that the best version
of myself as a comedian, and this is a very simple way
of describing it, but I think it's that when I walk
on stage in a silly mood, like me,
feeling silly is the best version of standup that I can be.
But what I forget sometimes is to remind myself of that and
to like to and I'll and I'll sometimes I'll see an image. And for me and my own memories,
it's for some reason it's seeing Eddie Murphy in his early days, like in the leeryous
and stuff. I feel like that's a fun silly guy. So like if I see that image, I'll be like,
oh, that guy's like having fun. He's out. He's, he's having a good time. He's playful. Yes. So I always wonder like what other people do
to switch and do a different headspace. Do you ever do anything to like switch your headspace?
Well, the minute I come out, I probably, I probably make a fool of myself, but I put on
suspicious minds normally by Elvis Presley and that that, it seems so absurd and doesn't make any sense
and I'm coming out to that. I try to get into the absurdity of what I'm doing up there, but
the first laugh kind of gets me going, you know, but I've got in the olden days when you're first
doing standard, be going, God, I don't, I don't feel funny today. I don't feel very funny. You're
very superstitious. And later on you go, you can be sick. You don't feel funny at all. You're just and then have your best show. So you get used to it. But yeah.
Dana and I have a few questions about your podcast. You have your mom's house, correct?
You have a lovely wife with your lovely wife. Yes, Christina P. And who I know. And she's great.
She was on lights out. Also, you have one with that guy. Who's that
big guy? Oh, big. Oh, real hard guy. Flirt, flirt, flirt. Fly.
Sure.
It was fun. And you met him years ago and just, I mean, was that you already had your first
podcast? Was that going into doing the second one? Yes, you know, the funny thing was we talked about it and we threw it together and I thought
we were, we, we, we, we came up with the idea to do it twice a month.
This was like, I was like, why don't we do this twice a month, just for fun.
Sure.
And, um, and, you know, within a couple of months, the feedback was like, people were so
into it that we're like,
all right, we got to do it every week. And now we do it every week. He has to fly here. I flown
to LA to do it. If we don't, if we can't get together, we each one of us will sit with a guest
to do it, but it's become a huge, huge podcast and like, you know, companies approach us and
want us to be like their partners and things.
And it's just, it's literally just the two of us
just shooting the shit.
Yeah.
Mostly him just rambling incoherently
about his nonsense.
Well, it's a good team.
I mean, when he had sober October,
we were, I saw that episode.
And, you know, it was just,
it, it, it, I I think long term and things are funny
It's great then also you're kind of feeling a real thing happening between two friends like and he's good good friends
I mean I got him you know, we've been getting each other crazy birthday gifts for years now
I just got him Hitler's
T cup and I got him a bust made of himself and and, you know, we always I saw one of those in a
Sky Mall. They have a lot of Hitler stuff.
And that's when I had to go through white supremacist. It was a lot of work.
Can I ask you about the video aspect? So did you always do it on video on YouTube?
Or did you ever do just an audio podcast? Audio only for the first, let's see, 2010, 11, 12, 13, and then we started to do video, just like
we would put up like 10 or 15 minutes, I don't know what that was, we did that in like 2014,
we were like, oh, here's 15 minutes of this, yeah, from the show. And then we finally were like, we need to, we set up sticks and we got
that going. And that eventually became a huge game changer, having it on, I mean, you know,
having it on YouTube is like a huge, huge, huge. Did you get the same amount of audio
listens? And then you got the additional or was it even more audio listens? It's evolved in
different ways. So like audio was obviously the only thing. And then you throw the additional or was it even more audio listens? It's evolved in different ways so like audio was obviously the only thing and then you throw in video
You start getting views, but the audio is much bigger and it was also still
From an advertising perspective. They're like audio downloads are all that matters when the video views started to go above a certain amount
Is when people were like okay?
We can't like we can't ignore the fact that there are hundreds
of thousands of views on this thing.
It's like a TV show.
They're like, it's worth advertising on
is what it came down to.
And then you had to convince some of the people were like,
well, that's just the same people.
And you're like, what do you think people are listening
to episode and then going and watching a two hour thing? Like, what are you talking about?
And that, you know, they also would make the argument, well, we don't know how many, like, you know,
if you, if you listen to a song on YouTube, if you watch the video of a song, you might watch it
six times or like, what if people are doing that on your podcast and you're like, you think
they're rewatching this two and a half hour podcast.
So I would get in the shouting matches
with advertising people about this,
like actual shouting matches.
And you do it.
You, I was fucking yelling at these people.
Yeah.
And then like the year fucking changes
and they go, oh, hey, by the way,
we wanted to inquire about advertising
on the video portion. I'm like, yeah, you, by the way, we wanted to inquire about advertising on the
video portion. I'm like, yeah, you mean the thing I've been talking to you about for two years?
And so that then became a thing that is highly valuable. And you know, you just, obviously,
you watch the bigger thing, like, you know, you see like a rogue in show when he was on
on YouTube, you're like, look, man, there's 10 million people watching this. You don't think that's worthy?
Like those, all those eyeballs, man.
And I think now if you start a podcast, you know,
and the clips go out, clips is a big thing.
Clips is a huge thing.
A lot of times, you know, if you think about it,
your fan base is gonna consume the whole thing.
The, talking about the full scope of people, most of them want to see a bite-sized thing.
Like in our world here, we've had a number of clips go viral, but they're all,
they're the clips, these like moments that blow up.
And, but it would not have happened without video.
You know, video is what took it over.
Yeah.
And then you go into your, one's, I contacted you about when I heard that you were doing
live shows such an interesting idea and it was a huge success.
And that was a pandemic, was smart move.
And that was another game changer, right?
Kind of saved my ass, dude.
I mean, you know, my main thing, I mean, obviously the podcast is a fixed thing and you go,
okay, we have ads and roughly will make this much.
Yeah, and everything is associated with it, but you're like, you know, I'm a touring comedian.
And then when the pandemic hit and you're like, oh wait, there's none of this, like this is
completely done, that was like, well, how do we do and it was an experiment my agent at
My touring agent was like you should try this he just I go well, we have to figure out
An angle so we tried it and we're like all right
We'll do $10 tickets like it's a reasonable price
And we'll show things that you can't show on YouTube and we'll shoot some sketches.
So we add some value to the shit.
Like that's the hard part, the value.
Yeah, but then you go for $10.
If you do three or four sketches
and you show some stuff, you can't see it anywhere else
and you bring in a gas and we had a musical gas.
You're like, all right, this is like, it is a thing.
Yeah, if this was a $10 ticket to walk into a venue, you'd be like all right, this is like, it is a thing. Yeah. If this was a $10 ticket
to walk into a venue, you'd be like, yeah, that's worth it. And that thing went fucking bananas.
And so once we saw that, I told the, because you know, agents are always like, let's make it
$20. I was like, no, yeah. We Well, I go, we keep it $10 tickets,
and we just try to move, they just try to do volume.
And we started to do them like every six or eight weeks
or something, and spending over a hundred grand
producing the episode.
So it's not like, it's not just like,
oh, hey, here's my friend.
Yeah, we actually put money into making it a special event
and into production.
Just for a second, Tom, because I'm curious about details,
what, where was, you have two studios,
where were you interviewing Tarentino?
Because I love that interview,
which was just recently on Quentin Tarantino.
Was that your studio right there?
Okay.
Did you get to the part where he roasted me for not reading his book?
No.
I did.
I was impressed with your knowledge of Pulp Fiction.
I mean, there was a lot of Pulp Fiction.
I really was like, I was asking all the questions I want to ask Quentin Tarantino.
Yeah. And he's there going like, I want to ask Quentin Tarantino. Yeah.
And he's there going like, I want to talk about this fucking book out.
Yeah.
And then at the end, he's like, hey, what page are you on?
I was like, oh, fuck, oh no.
And he's kind of intimidating.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I was like, so you're on page three, is that what I'm getting out of this?
I was like, if that. that, uh, Dana, remember
we did, uh, because we're talking about SNL this whole time. We, we did Quentin Tarantino's
welcome back codder, uh, that sketch. And it was, uh, I got to play horse shack. Oh,
oh, Mr. Codder. And, uh, and then it was, I guess John John Travolta was the whole.
So he came in, yeah, he came in and they shot up everyone.
It was like a bloody sketch that got really badly quick.
But I don't think Quentin was on the show.
I think it was only because it was John Travolta.
He was hanging out, he said, yeah.
Okay.
He really has that like, savant level knowledge of cinema to the point where you're like, I mean,
like he is citing, you know, the composer from this movie in 63 and the actor who also appeared
in the thing you're like, dude, I don't know. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about,
but I like movies too. I love movies, but yeah, he is the next level of next level.
And the way you guys broke down that scene and in glorious bastards, the whole, I like
that.
Americans speaking German, that whole segment and how he said he, a lot of times you'll
see his scenes and there's a familiar early to them, but he's doing things and he's making
them better than you've ever seen them done.
And that was the case of it.
And an original take on on, on something we've seen, you know, yes, I love his movies. I love his movies. Yeah, me too. I, I, I, I was hosting
Jimmy Kimmel and he came out and I, I couldn't help it. I go, I love you. I was just like,
I said, because I know you through your choices, your movies, and I just appreciate your sense
of humor, you know, yeah, so funny. May I have another glass of your delicious middle?
Christoff Waltz and glorious bastards.
Yeah, so good.
Listen, Tom's a Cincinnati native.
I'm wrapping them up. Watch this, Dana.
Let me see.
My parents grew up, went to Denison,
which is a college in Cincinnati,
or did you not know that?
Don't tear and teethe me.
Denison is where they both went.
You're not lighting up enough about that.
You're our part, Cajun, Cajon man.
This is from Cajun.
You overdosed on GHB at 19.
I like five of those short and heard.
Why is that a coma?
Short coma.
Yeah.
A coma's terrifying.
It was 25 years ago last week.
It was the day after Thanksgiving, 25 years ago. You know, it was the first time
I was freshman in college. I got together with all the people who are like back, you know, you're back home for the first time.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I just was on a tear that night and I was drinking and I used to do GHB a lot and the number one rule
They were like you do not mix this with alcohol. That was the number one rule. They're like, you know, and I drank like 10, 12,
you know, screwdrivers, and then I just took a massive dose of it.
Oh, but you lived.
You also were last comic standing, and my quick question is,
is that the kind where you lived in the house?
I never made it.
I showcased on TV on the show,
but they just showed me for like a second. I showcased on TV on the show, but they just showed me for
like a second. I didn't get passed on. Even though I would not really, I'll just say that
that was some bullshit. They were just casting that show. Who won and then who did you
say when they won? They sock their dog shit. I don't remember anybody I showcased with.
I mean, it was all like, we were all unknowns. Oh, yeah. They literally were like, Oh, put the short, chubby girl, get that tall Indian guy.
Like, it was like, it was just casting.
Yeah.
Someone sent me an Instagram of you doing your bit where you end up yelling bikes,
because they knew I was going to interview you.
An eyed list of hysterical.
That, that, that whole piece is like just sad. That is funny to me that, I mean, everybody has like their most
known bit and for sure, for me, it is bikes. Yeah, scared straight. Yeah, little kids go
into prison and getting brow beat by every day, every day of my life that you'll
buy scared straight.
Do you actually do stand up in Spanish?
Yes, I was supposed to do a special in Spanish.
And then I started touring in Spanish work.
I go, because they were like, do a special.
I was like, well, I gotta like work it out, man.
Wow, hard, hard, hard.
If we're doing it in English, I do the show 200 times.
I got at least do 50 you know in
Spanish and I probably did six weekends in Spanish I did you know a Texas weekend I did like
Houston Dallas San Antonio I did Tempe I did San Jose and then the pandemic kind of just
changed everything because that was not when I was like
gearing up for it.
And then by the time that resolved itself, it was like the English tour was coming back
and it was just it was too much to try to do both.
Well, let me ask you a question.
If the English language has certain rhythms that comedians do, you know, so she blew
me or whatever.
So, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Do you have to adjust when you're doing the rhythms of Spanish?
I actually remember I went, I did this show
with Richard V.
This is a very funny comedian who's bilingual Mexican-American
and he was like, dude, he's like,
you realize you're doing exactly Tom Segura
that we know in English.
He's like, you don't have to change anything.
You're delivering exactly as you do in Spanish. And he was's like, you don't have to change anything. You're delivering exactly as you do in Spanish.
And he was like, so you don't have to like mess with anything.
He said she's a hot chick.
She's a caliente or you're,
he, he, he, he, he, but caliente is hot, right?
Oh, you're talking about it if I'm saying it.
I'm saying it in Spanish.
The syllables are more and does that affect the rhythm?
But I'm saying the delivery,
you can keep your delivery authentic.
Yeah, got it.
Because you hear singers.
Culture you learn, which is like some,
some like they like in you window,
and they really like a wink and a nod.
Some cultures do, which I was like,
I don't wanna do that.
And they're like, watch,
and you just see how much they love the double meaning, the double. And that stuff,
but I just didn't make it part of my act. I saw that like some, some audiences really
like that. But I was like, I'm not going to, I'm not going to embrace doing a different
style.
Mm hmm. So you're a brain with ink because I'm not bilingual. You have your brain and
you have your bit in your head and you just adjust it and then you're just doing it all in Spanish
Yeah, you start figuring out at first your brain goes translate this exactly
And that actually leads you into a place where you have gaps and there's things not getting left
Okay, then what you have to do is start
You have to slow down and just start talking
Mm-hmm and stop trying to translate exactly Then what you have to do is start, you have to slow down and just start talking and
stop trying to translate exactly.
And that's when it starts to work more.
And then you actually start writing in Spanish and that's when it goes the best is because
you're not actually trying to make this thing work over here that worked over there.
You're just creating for that.
Okay.
So that makes sense to me.
There's a, it's a beautiful language.
I'm constantly trying to
speak Spanish. It's very hard. To people who work. It was a lot of, it was so much more work than I
imagined. And I would say that the other, the kind of cool thing is that I had not been that
nervous to do stand up in over a decade. In other words, I get, you know, in English, sure I get
butterflies, you're like, oh, you're about to go on stage
and you might have some nerve,
but the way that I would feel before I went on stage
for these Spanish shows was like year two of standup.
So that was exciting because I was in a full panic
of like, I might fuck this, I might bomb, I might not.
That was kind of exciting.
I was like, man, I never feel like this in English anymore.
Did the audience, the audience knows you're doing that.
It's so called your second language, your other language,
were they just, did you get a standing ovation
just for the sheer effort of it?
Sometimes yes.
Yeah, they would be, and you'd see a lot of like,
fans of mine who are bilingual,
like they're the children of immigrants,
and so they're fans of me in English.
They hear what I'm doing in the Spanish show
and they're bringing their parents.
Oh, because they understand, yeah.
That would be happening too.
That was kind of cool.
That was kind of cool.
That's awesome.
Well, Tom, thank you.
Well, that's all I wanted.
I checked off all my questions.
Yeah.
Let me just say Dana, it was an honor.
Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ah me just say Dana. It was an honor. Yes, Tom.
Thank you so much. I don't know who that other guy was, but he's. Oh, hey, I was on Tom's
podcast. And we had a great time. We did have a great time. It was a blast, actually.
I just want to say our yesterday was Tom Shagura, a funny young man, a connection to do a standup in Spanish or English.
You know that Ed?
Meet me, Boino, Jettich.
Is that weird?
That's weird wild stuff.
I was just doing that for you.
You're 14 year old, self.
You're 14 year old.
That was awesome, man.
Oh, good.
Thanks Tom.
Well, you guys, anytime you want to charter out here and podcast, we would love to have
you, you know, all definitely come out. I want to charter out here and podcast, we'd love to have you, you know? Oh, I'll definitely come out. I want to get a steak one night in Austin.
That was good. I want to be in that. I want to sit where Terence, you know, Seth,
listen, you have an open invite. Yeah, that was, I did get chills when he kind of
challenged you on the book. That would be intimidating. You know, you get so much energy
and so much knowledge. He's such a funny, interesting character to listen to about film.
Man, but that, that shows you. I had him on Kimmel and you have three minutes commercial
break. I was the guest host and then you sit there for an hour and really get into stuff.
So podcasting is an extraordinary, for me, in the way being authentic and it's so much
cooler and more fun than the band and the audience which is great too. It's a big rock and roll moment
but it's like three minutes in. You got to get to a commercial stuff. This is awesome. So anyway.
Come out to Austin, man. I will. There's an on-stop direct if I don't fly. Yeah.
Go Dana, stop being like this.
I will go out and do it if we can have a dinner afterwards because I kind of want to
pick your brain about what you know because I still am trying to learn this whole world,
analytics and stuff.
And I feel like we just set a date.
Yeah, we sort of did.
Yeah, I can eat anything.
You know, so you're fit now.
We get your trainer, your chef, maybe cooks,
and we just eat on the set or...
We can't go to that meat store we went to.
2018 is when you came out for that special
and you were just, you'd lost weight
and you had a cool jacket.
You kind of were a rock star that switched there
a little bit, you know?
Yeah, and then the special two years later,
I gained 20 pounds back.
Did you really?
I didn't notice on the final one, really.
On ball, on ball hog, I definitely gained about 20 pounds.
Three weeks ago, I shot a new special.
Oh, damn, relax.
I was just so thankful that I weighed less
than I've ever weighed in a special.
That's all I hear.
You know what I mean, jokes, you're like,
you're like in a mirror, just like, check this out, okay.
But I think it's kind of nice if you can have a nice family
and make a lot of money and be creatively fulfilled.
And then also be really healthy and feel comfortable
walking around on the planet.
It's kind of a nice feeling, so.
David, just a little pointer.
All right, we'll go to the light.
By Tom, I miss you.
Thanks for all the time, Tom.
All right, guys.
This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes.
Available now for free wherever you get your podcast.
No joke, folks.
Flying the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13,
executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corqurin of Cadence 13 and Charlie Feinen of Brillstein Entertainment.
The shows lead producers Greg Holtman with production and engineering support from Serena
Regan and Chris Beasel of Cadence 13.