Follow Him: A Come, Follow Me Podcast - Doctrine & Covenants 129-132 Part 2 : Dr. Kate Holbrook
Episode Date: November 7, 2021Dr. Holbrook continues to discuss marriage, plural marriage carefully and corrects some misconceptions, errors, and missteps in teaching about the early Saints' practice of plural marriage.Show N...otes (English, French, Spanish, Portuguese): https://followhim.co/episodes/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/followhimpodcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/followhimpodcastYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/FollowHimOfficialChannelThanks to the followHIM team:Steve & Shannon Sorensen: Executive ProducersDr. Hank Smith: Co-hostJohn Bytheway: Co-hostDavid Perry: ProducerKyle Nelson: MarketingLisa Spice: Client Relations, Show Notes/TranscriptsJamie Neilson: Social Media, Graphic DesignWill Stoughton: Assistant Video EditorSpanish Transcripts: Ariel CuadraFrench Transcripts: Krystal RobertsPortuguese Transcripts: Igor Willians"Let Zion in Her Beauty Rise" by Marshall McDonaldhttps://www.marshallmcdonaldmusic.com/products/let-zion-in-her-beauty-rise-pianoPlease rate and review the podcast.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to part 2 of this week's podcast.
So what I'm talking about here is verse 33 where Jesus says,
if you enter not into my law, you cannot receive the promise of my father,
which he made unto Abraham.
And I think what he's talking about there is marriage.
If you're not married, then you cannot receive the promise
of my father, which you made under Abraham. And you can see how that would be, because how can you
have seed if you're not married, you know, or if you have seed, but you're not married, then you're
not worthy of the Abrahamic covenant. But that's tough. And this is another place where we have to be relying on God
and the atonement to make everything right,
because some people don't have the opportunity to marry.
For some people, it's not going to happen.
For a wide variety of reasons.
For a lot of people, this would not happen.
And it makes me, frankly, it makes me not even
want to talk about marriage, because I can think about how
painful it can be for a lot of people listening.
But if we don't talk about marriage, then we lose sight of it as a guiding ideal that's
really important.
And even in the secular world, you find information about how important it is.
There are studies that children do a lot better
when their parents are married.
It's better for the rising generation.
I was reading an NIH funded study this morning
about how people who married are live longer.
You know, it's good for us.
That there's also a lot of evidence that when there's a divorce, men become less happy and women become more happy.
And to me, that's a call.
That's a call that we need to do better in our marriages and making them serve women as well as they serve men.
But there's, in addition to all of the spiritual growth that comes with marriage,
there are concrete practical reasons that even sociologists, you know, running studies,
see that marriage is an important thing on a society level for us to pursue.
Yeah, well, and I think what you did there, Kate, is, yes,
we're gonna talk about the ideal,
but let's see people, let's hear people.
Let's, let's make sure we acknowledge the pain
that comes from living in a fallen world
where the ideal often, you fall short of the ideal,
that's something happens.
And I've thought of some of the incredible scholars
we've had on who are single, John,
and just are incredible, incredible.
Minds, people in every way, servants of the Lord,
and yet this blessing isn't available to them
for some reason or another.
I think Kate did an excellent job there,
but I'm like, let's see this.
Let's make sure we acknowledge this pain.
And I think the Lord does that too. Right? He's like, but he doesn't shrink from the ideal because of it.
President Ballard recently gave that talk and acknowledged this huge group of our church,
a large part of our church, the single adult, you know, and which is another, this can be a painful topic for them too.
Over half of the members of Relief Society are unmarried.
So that might be people who were married and are now widowed,
but at this moment, over half of the members of Relief Society are unmarried. So, and Kate, wouldn't you say the Lord is interested not just in this life, but the next.
And that's really a big part of this section is yes, in this life, it can be very difficult
and your choices, other people's choices, the fall, all of this can be very difficult,
but he's talking about an ideal in the next life, which is going to be available to everyone.
Yes.
Anyone who wants it.
I think we can hold that.
We can hold our grief for people who don't have this blessing in this life, or who are married,
sealed by the covenant, and are miserable, or in an abusive situation. Like we hold their pain too.
And at the same time, we recognize that the commandments are to help our flourishing.
And we have these commandments because for a majority of people,
marriage is a way to promote flourishing for the people involved and for the children.
And if we have that ideal, that also can help us work to make our own marriages places where both
partners are
flourishing
That was very well said
It seems like the the next few verses can be potentially painful as well. Yes
Better. Yeah, well, I think here's here. Yeah, what 33 was
Marriage and now we're getting into okay answering Joseph's question, right?
Yes, so it I think of 33 is the last right is the last verse on
Marriage between one man and one woman one woman and now we're getting into plural marriage
So here's the buckle up part. Yeah, and yes, I built a foundation. Now I'm going to answer the question
you asked at the beginning after I built the foundation of what traditional one man, one woman
marriage is. Jacob 2, it's like 27th through 30. And the, when I look at verse 30 in there,
that's like one of the only scriptural hints that we have of one of the possible reasons of plural marriage
is that if I will raise up seed unto me, I will command my people
semi-colon otherwise they will harken to these things, the verses above one man, one woman in
marriage. So I'm glad you brought those verses up.
The very reason Jacob brought them together was because they were using the scriptures
to excuse themselves in marrying more than one person,
having more than one relationship.
And Jacob is ready to bring down the hellfire on him
for you can't do this.
This is not okay.
You're using David and Solomon,
whose names are gonna come up here, as a matter of fact.
I'm glad John brought up those specific verses and and and read them and that
information about to raise up a righteous seed. We have allowed that in our
imaginations to give us inaccurate understandings. I don't know about you when
you were on your missions. When I was on my mission I taught what my trainer had taught
me and it's incorrect and it was to say that the reason we had plural
marriage in Utah is because there were more women than men. And so in order for all of those women
to be able to be married, you know, there had to be plural marriage. And that's not true. That's
incorrect. There were more men than there were women. But the thing that is correct is there were more righteous women than there were men.
There were more women who took the restored gospel very seriously and church participation
and obedience and all that very seriously.
So for a woman who was wanted that kind of a relationship, her choices were more narrow.
I'm not saying that that explains plural marriage. But we also see that the descendants of those
plural marriages hardly any, if any, I'm trying to remember descendants of plural marriages that
took place in Nahu, but there are definitely a lot of descendants that
resulted from plural marriages in Utah. I'm one of them and
among them have been church leaders for decades for generations. So it did produce a righteous seed.
Okay. Yeah, that's really good.
He starts out by coming back to Abraham.
Yes, right? I do notice. Yes.
And these verses I think teach us important things about the practice of plural marriage, which God wanted at this particular time.
And one is
Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham to wife.
Yeah, that God commanded Abraham and Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham to wife.
I wish I could ask our listeners what they make of that.
Yeah.
What I think is Sarah had agency here.
There was consent from Sarah. She might not have a ton of agency,
but she gave her consent.
And I think Jesus is setting this up as a model here
that a first wife gives consent to other marriages.
And the way this played out with Inavvoo was more complicated. This didn't
always happen. Now, voo plural marriage is very different than utama marriage, plural marriage.
Innavoo, they were trying to figure it out. They knew there would be a lot of social opposition.
They knew it could wound a lot of their loved ones and they were keeping it secret as they tried to figure it out
But the secrecy was really wounding too
So this this part of it was not always was sometimes but not always fulfilled in
Navu or and including in Joseph and Amazon marriage
Really good point in Utah
It was more often that there's still you know fallen people.
There were still people who didn't obtain the consent of their first wives to
take on more wives, but the rule they were supposed to. Well it's important
here that God was involved. Sarah was involved. Yes. And that's why he says they
were not under condemnation for I the Lord commanded it.
Yeah, great, great point. That's essential. That's essential for this to be, to be okay.
And then it's really strange because suddenly we go back to Abraham in verse 36,
but we're not talking about plural marriage again. Abraham was commanded to offer his son Isaac.
marriage again. Abraham was commanded to offer his son Isaac. Nevertheless, it was written now, shall not kill. Abraham, however, did not refuse, and it was accounted unto him for
righteousness. I like, I like that the Lord is bringing up this Abrahamic test as we've
come to call it because I feel like plural marriage is kind of an Abrahamic test for the
whole church. And even for whole church and even for us today
Even for us today trying to make sense of this is kind of an Abrahamic test for some of us
Yes
Absolutely and a lot of the people who were alive during the time when this practice was part of the church they referred to it
this way as an Abrahamic test
Mm-hmm this way as a Abrahamic test. And why a Abrahamic test?
Because it was as painful as having to offer up your son
as a sacrifice.
I mean, this was painful.
All of the ideals that they had of romantic marriage,
of the intimacy of marriage between two people,
instead of marriage among five people or more,
they had to give up all of those ideals, which were really, really valued and prevalent in society
at that time. Even more so than now, now we have a lot of other professions of marriage than they
did back then. So this was tough. This was a big ask.
Okay, I don't know if you're gonna bring this up later.
I don't wanna steal it from you.
But if I remember right,
when Joseph introduces this principle,
the Brigham says,
it's the first time I desired the grave.
I...
I didn't mean to be the corpse that he saw in the funeral.
He said, I'd rather die than then then then live this. Yes.
Right. I hope I didn't steal that from you, but I know everybody felt that way.
I think that the what I read is nobody liked it. They out I mean, Hi,
Ram, Joseph's own brother just resisted and resisted for years. And you know,
all of our characters there. Pretty upset with Joseph. And
years. And you know, all of our cowdews there. Pretty upset with Joseph. And then imagine, you know, the women who heard about this, because usually because they were invited to be sealed to Joseph
Smith, they hated it too. But that we're on the foundation of God's love and grace here in this
section. And God did, he answered prayers. And not every woman said yes.
And those women who said yes, they had spiritual experiences.
They deep ones, profound ones, letting them know
that this was God's will.
So they didn't have to go into this blind.
Most women would have to have something pretty powerful.
And so agency consent, still operative here is what you're saying.
Yes, yes, absolutely.
And we always think about how tough it was on women and it was, and it was also so tough
on men.
This is not an easy thing, financially or emotionally.
Yeah.
I want to make a note about verse 36 where he mentions this commandment to sacrifice
Isaac. Right. Nothing. Just imagine that we all have children. Everyone listening probably has
nieces and nephews or children or just the idea that you're going to sacrifice this child
Just the idea that you're going to sacrifice this child is horrific. And I think it was meant to be. It was meant to be a severe, severe test.
Oh, I can't imagine.
Where Joseph Smith says this, he says,
that which is wrong under one circumstance, maybe,
and often is right under another. God said thou shalt not kill.
At another time, he has said thou shalt utterly destroy.
This is the principle on which the government of heaven is conducted.
Revelation adapted to circumstance.
Revelation adapted to circumstance.
Whatever God requires is right, no matter what it is,
although we may not see the reason
till long after the events transpire. I bring
this up with Nephi killing Laban in the book of Mormon that we've grown up with
it and so we're pretty used to it but someone who is a first-time reader of the
book of Mormon might be horrified by the idea of Nephi killing Laban, right?
And so I don't think anyone needs to come into plural marriage feeling good
about it like oh this is this is a good thing.
This is, I feel so warm and fuzzy inside, right?
I don't think that's the Lord's expectation.
He's just saying, this is revelation adapted to circumstance.
This is my law.
This is how we're going to do this.
So I don't know.
I like the comparison with Nephi killing Laban that
it's an exception, not the rule, but you have to trust Nephi and trust the Lord that this
is really from him. I think that's another really powerful explanation for why we have this
verse 36 that otherwise doesn't seem to fit. And it's because that is the rule is do not sleep with anyone other than your
spouse, your wife, the person you're married to. But then here's a situation just like Abraham
situation, just like Nephi situation where you do something different.
I think that's exactly why it's in there.
Wow. This is this is a intense scripture. Let's keep going Kate. Keep walking us through
this. So then we get several scriptures again looking to to ancient prophets who had more than one
wife and it explains that most of them it was accounted into them for righteousness. They they
were not sinning when they did this because they were doing it according to God's will.
But then one of them did not do it
according to God's will.
This is verse 39 with David.
So at first it was okay.
It says, in none of these things did he sin against me?
Save except in the case of Euryah and his wife.
We know that's Bathsheba.
David sees her bathing, desires her, sleeps with her,
and then doesn't want to get caught,
so sends him to the front lines where in that he's sure to be killed.
I remember the jaw drop that I had in seminary when I learned
that the same David, hero David, who slew Goliath was this same David
I thought wait, but but but but no
Slugh alliance such a disappointment. So eight foot eight foot giants are no problem
But your own lust. Oh, man. I just that was a that was a sad day
Yeah, yeah, and was a sad day. Yeah. Yeah. And so we see what happens to him, David have fallen from his exaltation. He received his portion already. He shall not inherit more
out of the world. God gave that portion, that heavenly, you know, those thrones and principalities and powers. Those are given to another person.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong here, but I see in verse 39 the Lord saying, this principle I'm going to give you plural marriage has very strict boundaries. This isn't a, okay, do whatever you want, type thing. If you want this,
this is a, this is a strict law that we're going to carefully hold in, in, in line. Is that,
would I be correct in saying that in verse 39? This is very serious.
I think that's absolutely true. So I think, I think we've learned two things before so far. And
the first is that the first wife should consent. And the second is this, that this is not a free
for all. And the way this played out, the way my house is the house of order comes out in what
we're talking about now is you had to ask the prophet, you couldn't practice plural marriage
with authority unless you had Joseph Smith's permission and then in Utah,
Brigham Young's permission. Isn't that Joseph's conflict with John C.
Bennett? Is John C. Bennett seeing his, hey I can do whatever I want here and
Joseph is no, this is strict. Yes and John C. Bennett had not been brought into this story of Joseph,
like he just heard rumors, but he hadn't been invited, he hadn't invited Joseph Smith had not
invited him to practice plural marriage, but he took those rumors and used them and so did a few
other of his friends, used them to seduce women,
saying I have, and because they were friends with Joseph Smith,
women believed them.
I have authority, Joseph Smith has told me
that I have authority to sleep with women
that I'm not married to and did.
And then those women had to come up on public trial
and we don't know a lot of detail
about plural marriage in Navoo because it was secret and people didn't even write most people,
there are a couple of exceptions, didn't even write about it in their journals. But we do have
these court cases of people who were seduced and deceived. So because this could be so abused, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, to do so, know. There's something about that that says, yes, I'm going to command this,
but I this is a very strict careful
principle that we're going to live.
I that gives me confidence.
I'm moving forward with this.
I'd like to make sure and I want to restate
something Kate said.
So you had to be invited by the president of the church by the prophet
to participate in this, president of the church, by the prophet to participate
in this, whether that was Joseph, or in Salt Lake, Brigham.
Those who, and but there were some who who lied and said that they had been, yeah.
And so we, I have heard percentages thrown around.
I don't know, maybe this isn't the time to talk about it, but
about how many were actually
practicing this in in Salt Lake era for example how many of the men of the church or
Were practicing this in Salt Lake or Navu? Do we know?
Do we have good numbers?
We don't have good numbers. It not not for lack of of trying
If we don't have good numbers, it's not for lack of trying. But the people who have looked very closely at this still feel that there are too many
sort of questions and not enough data to really come out with a secure number.
We know it was not a majority of people, it was a minority of people, especially a minority of men.
That's what I think Elizabeth Keen called historical silence.
Right, she's definitely got to get used to historical silence.
She has a lot of good phrases, good smart phrases. So we know they're clearly very specific ways to go about doing this.
And then finally, we know that agency is essential.
And we see this in the way that Joseph Smith went about this.
He didn't tell women they were going to be sealed to him or to someone else. He asked them and he invited them
to go on their own and think about it and pray about it. That was a very important part of this
process. And let's talk about when this revelation, we talked about how this revelation came in July of 1843, but that
is not the beginning of plural marriage.
And again, there are a lot of question marks, but it looks like Joseph Smith was probably
in about 1833 sealed to what was probably his first plural wife. And we don't know, with some unions, because women spoke later in Utah,
signed affidavits on this, we know that there was a sexual relationship that was part
of some of these marriages. And we also know that a lot of these marriages didn't have
a sexual component. And we also don't have evidence of any of Joseph Smith having children with
any of his plural wives. So what what that ends up looking like is not all of these were marriages
in the sexual sense. And even if they were marriages in the sexual sense, it wouldn't have been
a lot or there would have been children resulting from the unions.
So in 1843, he has this revelation because even though God told him to practice this 10 years earlier,
and he more than 10 years, he resisted and resisted and resisted,
and as he describes it, an angel came to him
three different times saying, you have to do this
and finally, threaten him with death and destruction
and problems and then it's a threat to his exaltation
if he didn't do this.
He finally began to practice plural marriage,
but it was sort of a little bit at a time. And this
period in Navu is when he's practicing it a lot more. He has a number of wives by the
time this revelation comes. And that have led some people to speculate that he asked for
this revelation in order to appease Emma Emma because there were times when she was aware of what was going on
and she felt okay about it, felt like it was God's will, and there were other times when it was so painful for her that she couldn't stand it
and she was against it. So when Joseph Smith received this revelation, he already had some plural wives.
He was in the Red Brick store, which is such an important building.
Upstairs, you know, it was a store, so that's important for the community. That's where they could go to buy supplies and food.
And upstairs is where they were
studying together where I
Think at this point it was still only men were preparing for the temple endowment, although that became women.
Those early meetings were up here on the second floor.
The relief society was formally organized and had a lot of their early meetings here on this second floor of the Red Brick Stores.
This building is a big deal.
And Joseph Smith was in his office there.
And William Clayton is the one who was scribe, who Joseph spoke
the revelation and William Clayton wrote it down.
And William Clayton said, well, he's the one who said, well, Hiram came to Joseph and
said, Emma is still resisting this and so try to have a revelation, maybe that will help her.
But that's William Clayton is the source on that.
So a lot of people have taken that to be the actual story and it very well could be, but
I'm not 100% convinced that that is the story.
Yeah.
And Kate, will you correct this if I'm wrong? Because I love being corrected actually.
But a lot of what we know about Navu doesn't come tell decades later when people are talking about it finally in the 18, I don't know, 60s, 70s.
And I as a historian, I aren't I supposed to, I'm not a historian, but as a historian, I'm not a historian,
but as a historian, as I'm trying to be a historian,
aren't I supposed to be a little bit more careful
with memories that are 20, 30 years after the fact
than I am with maybe a contemporary source?
Can you talk about that just a little bit
that what we know about polygamy
maybe comes from these later sources
that as much as people, I don't think they're lying, I just think that memories can change over time.
Yes, that's absolutely true Hank.
Our best friends, our best tools, this historians, are things that are written at the really close
to the time something happened.
So that's journal entries and letters and even newspaper articles and
newspaper articles are good because they're contemporary.
They happened around the, they were written around the same time as the event happened.
But they're also second hand.
So they're not perfect, but they're, but they're good.
But really our job as a historian is to always weigh evidence.
We try to triangulate,
maybe we can get a newspaper article and a letter, and then a memoir, somebody looking back
and telling this story 50 years later, and then we start to feel more confident about what really
happened. And this is why our hands are tied, you know, if we only have one source that says something, it could be, I mean, William
Clayton was described for this revelation.
He was there, but we don't have Joseph Smith and Hiram Smith saying it.
So writing it down right then.
Yeah, we're always weighing those things. Yeah.
This is one of the things that just fascinates me about church history and helps me extend
mercy is because the only sources we have are the only sources we have. And some are better than...
Those people aren't here to defend themselves. They're not here to be interviewed.
And my dad once was a hero and a bad accident, and the newspaper article that came out about it was complimentary, but there were so many errors about the facts that I just think, you know, sometimes it's hard to know.
And therefore we're backed up against the wall of faith and asking the Lord to help us fill peace about things sometimes because we've got what we've got,
but thankfully we have revelation
and the Holy Ghost to comfort it as well when we don't get it.
And because the newspaper writers have agendas
to my first experience being quoted,
I did an interview, I was in graduate school,
I was young still, and I thought I told a joke and
in the newspaper article it came out that my joke ended up as the final lines of the article and then 10 years later
The report he used to do again
So I
Yeah, we just we try to weigh things and keep all of this in mind.
We try to be, we recognize bias, we recognize holes, and we try to have the best integrity
we can have as scholars.
And grace, I really believe, for every historian inside or outside of the church, you want to be honest
and you also want to give people the benefit of the doubt. Richard Bushman said, so beautifully,
to one of his students who repeated it to me, just know that this person that you're writing about,
how will you feel about what you've written when you see them and shake hands with them in the afterlife?
It's just it's something we as Latter-day Saints keep in mind and it doesn't I mean
I believe those people would want us to be honest
It doesn't mean we whitewash anything, but it does mean that we
We approach this with empathy and respect for their humanity. Beautiful. Oh
That is so well said. I I my students, I get my medical advice
from trained doctors, I get my dental advice
from trained dentists, and I get my history
from trained historians.
Not everyone is a historian,
despite what the internet tells you,
not everyone is a historian,
just because they have a source doesn't mean
that they've done the work.
This might be a good chance for us to talk about a new book that I think would be helpful for
anyone who's struggling written by Brittany Nash. I think it's called, John, you can help me out here.
It's the, they've done a series, I think Brad Wilcox, who we interviewed before, did one in Patriarch of Blessings.
They have kind of similar covers.
And this one is just called Plural Marriage, or?
I think it's called Let's Talk About it.
Let's talk about it.
Plural Marriage by Brittany Nash.
I was listening to her interview on a podcast called All In.
If anybody knows that podcast, which I really like.
So if anybody knows Morgan Jones, who's the interview on that podcast, which I really like. So if anybody knows Morgan Jones,
who's the interview on that podcast, tell her a good job for her must here at Follow Him.
But I think that I just thought the thing she said were excellent. I wish I want to read
something from her really quick. It's Morgan quoted this on her interview with with
Brittany. She says, when I first began my journey studying polygamy, I was
angry by what I saw as an injustice that God required such a difficult
principle to be lived by these faithful, tried people. But as I studied the
personal writing, stories, and testimonies of polygamous, accepting them on
their own terms, that's a lot what Kate just mentioned, she says, I found peace.
The practice could have never
been sustained for a half century by compulsion, manipulation, or simple sexual desire. Those who set
the foundation of the Latter-day Saint faith were not two-dimensional superheroes, as they are
sometimes portrayed, but they were complex, strong, intelligent, full-bodied kingdom builders,
who are willing to leave loved ones' wealth,
comfort, and native countries for what they believe to be true. This same willingness drove them
to accept polygamy, a practice they accepted as a commandment of God instituted in their time
for his unique purposes. And I'll finish here. I have since come to view Polaroel marriage as part
of the Latter-day Saint history to unapologetically
own and to hold is one of the most valuable testaments of the faith in the history of the church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I love that. Boy, she should be a writer. She is a writer and
she's a great researcher and she worked on this for a long long time. You can trust the work
She did on that. Yeah, well you sold me that is a beautiful way to put it and to go to original sources
What did the people involved actually say?
I'm so appreciative of that kind of a thing instead of all of us judging this you know
Decades later looking back and
making our own judgments. So that's a great one, Hank.
That's Brittany Nash, and you can listen to our podcast with Morgan Jones on All In,
or you can pick up the book. Let's talk about polygamy, or let's talk about plural marriage.
I think it's one of the other. And I will say this too, John, you bring up a great statement
in my mind from McLean Heward.
Do you remember Dr. Heward when he came on way back section 40 or something, back when
we were brand new with this?
And he said, please stop being offended on their behalf and start being inspired by
them.
I've always remembered that.
Stop being offended on their behalf and be inspired by these people.
Read their stories.
Read, they actually have to say.
All right, John and I have taken over too long, Kate. Let's go back to you and let you take over. No, Hank, but your that important quotation, you just read, also reminds me of our brothers and
sisters of color, say that same thing to white people who want to do the right thing, but then end up making up things that are a little off the mark
or defending them in ways that don't feel true to them.
The brothers and sisters of color,
it's the same thing.
Listen to them, listen to their voices,
listen to their stories, their testimonies.
Absolutely. I really like that. Yeah.
Okay. We've got, we're about halfway through our section. Let's keep going.
If we look in verse 40, again, we have that mention of,
I give unto thee, my servant Joseph, an appointment and restore all things.
So again, we're being reminded that this is a restoration.
It's an important thing to remember.
Then we have all of these verses about adultery.
And when what somebody thinks might be plural marriage
isn't plural marriage, it's actually adultery.
And for those listeners, for those people out there
who will read this carefully,
you'll see a little bit of contradiction.
You'll see that what it says here
isn't how it always played out in Joseph Smith's
practice of plural marriage. And so then again, I think we need to go back down here to verse 66 at the
end. And now as pertaining to this law, verily, verily, I say unto you, I will reveal more unto you
hereafter. So that that's not only a sentence for us, it was a sentence for Joseph Smith
himself, and it was a sentence for the the saints as life in Navu wrapped up and they
traveled west and they kept staying with this principle in Utah and plural marriage looked
different then. Then it did in Navu. And then in 1890, when Wilford
Woodrow's announced that there should be an end to plural marriage, that that was
very devastating for a lot of saints who had sacrificed so much for this
principle. And they felt not only the sacrifice, but they just felt it was a
key thing that
set them apart and was a crucial part of their testimony to hear the prophet whom they would
honor because these were orthodox believers say that this will no longer be a part of our system.
That was a whole new trial. So continuing revelation or the way it says in here, I will reveal more
unto you. That's another really important thing to keep in mind,
instead of both this section and the practice of plural marriage.
What a turnaround. That's such a fascinating turnaround. Is it?
Yeah, so hard to accept and then so hard to believe. I see, I'd never,
I'd never thought of that. I thought they'd be, oh, God, that's over, but it's more like,
but wait, these are our families.
These are our relationships.
This is, we have a testimony of it, you know, interesting.
Yeah, yeah, and you get at something really important,
John, that one of the reasons it was hard was
because it threatened family bonds.
And it made, it made some wives much more vulnerable, you know, financially, physically.
It was another Abrahamic trial.
Yeah, a test.
And there were people who were very relieved.
I just want to make sure we're covering all of the perspectives.
Okay, I think, and I want to ask this correctly, I think on our listeners' mind,
might be the fear that Joseph or Brigham is using this to get that they want. Is there anything
in there in the historical record that says Joseph and Brigham or any others were,
were this didn't think this was from God, they knew it wasn't from God and they were just kind of
sneaking in something because they knew the people would buy God, and they were just kind of sneaking in something
because they knew the people would buy it.
I just wanna calm that fear coming from anyone.
Is there anything in the history that says they were
trying to pull the wool over someone's eyes?
Good, no.
No, I mean, nothing in any letter, nothing,
it's very clear to me that this was something that they believed God wanted,
didn't just want, but commanded them to do.
And also, Kathleen Flake is the one who first mentioned this perspective,
so I'm roughly quoting her, but there are a lot easier ways to have extra marital sex or to have sex with a lot
of women than to marry them. You know. It can be reasonable for the offspring to
to course, but yeah, and to invent this elaborate. There are plenty of other religious leaders, not Latter-day Saints, who also had vibrant sexual lives, they did not, they just
did it.
There was no theology.
There was no theology, there was no revelation, there was no explanation and bringing people
in, carefully, and telling them, and telling them to go and pray about it, there was none
of that. This is an exceptional situation. This does not look like those other cases.
I think that's important to, I thank you, Kate. I think that was very important to, for
people that just kind of calmed their fears a little bit that Joseph isn't the man they
thought he was, right? I hope there were, there are a couple more fears. I hope we could just talk about briefly and and one is the situation of Joseph's youngest wife and the other so you'll
remind me of it is plural marriage in the afterlife because I know that's that's maybe where
people worry about the most right now. Well, here comes agency again, right?
about the most right now. Well, here comes agency again, right?
Right.
So did you want to talk about Helen,
Mark and Ellen Mark and so on?
Yes, yeah.
So Helen Mark and Bill was 14 when she married Joseph Smith.
And some of us want to think,
oh, people regularly got married at age 14 back then.
Well, that was young back then. It wasn't
unheard of and it was legal, but it was young. Joseph Smith didn't approach Helen Markimble.
Helen Markimble's father approached Joseph Smith because he wanted through his daughter for
his family to be sealed to Joseph Smith. And there's an article on this by Spencer Fleuman,
it's available online, and it's terrific,
so I highly recommend that for anybody
who wants to look closely into this.
And the theology, my husband, Sam Brown,
has written a lot about this in different venues,
including a book called In Heaven as it is on Earth.
But it helps explain why the plural marriage, it's sometimes involved sex and with Helen
Mark Kimball, we have her reminiscences about plural marriage. We have actually a lot of records
about her, which is great because she's was so young that she's the one that troubles us the most.
She never mentioned there was a sexual component to this marriage. But we do know she suffered an account of it because she lost her hopes
for romance and you know all those things a teenager has of who am I going to marry and what will
my wedding be like and all of that. That that was all gone for her. And she stayed, she lived for
decades, she lived to be an old woman, and she stayed, she lived for decades,
she lived to be an old woman,
and she stayed faithful to the church the whole time,
which I think helps,
which I think is an important context for that union.
When we hear these people, yeah, see this.
Yes, yes, see her whole story.
She didn't run screaming.
And I think I didn't finish this thought, but
Plural marriage was a lot, we didn't practice ceilings then,
the way that we do now, where you're sealed, like my husband and I are sealed,
and we were married in the temple, and so our children were part of the covenant with us,
or another couple can join the church or get married in the temple after they're married and then their children are sealed to them. That wasn't
that came much much later. Right now in the church, ceilings meant just being part
of a family network with people that would help secure your salvation. And so
that this is why even there are women who were married
Who are sealed who were sealed to Joseph Smith while their husbands were alive and that's the way to make sense of that
Is maybe their husband was a member of the church, you know and getting sealed to a really valiant person especially the prophet
There are all kinds of people sealing themselves to the prophet even after his death.
sealing themselves as a child.
sealing themselves.
You know, all they do is think.
They just want to be connected to him in an ordinance.
They want to be connected to him and they want to be saved.
And they saw being sealed to him as a way to secure their own salvation.
So that is what Helen's
father was trying to achieve for their family. Helen then did have a choice about whether to enter
this marriage and it was something that she prayed about, but unlike some other women who entered
plural marriages, she said she did not have... she had no angel appear. She did not have a large brilliant revelation. She said she decided to
enter this marriage because of logic, because it made sense to her for the things we were talking
about, her own salvation and the salvation of her family. Her records say that it was difficult, but she felt
that she made the right choice in it also. And we, I know when I was 14, you know, I
would have been influenced. I don't want to whitewash this. I would have been
influenced what my bishop let alone my prophet wanted me to do and what my
parents wanted me to do. But it's important to me still to honor the decision
that she made.
Joseph Smith was also 14 when he had their first vision.
You know, it's important to me to honor the agency
that she did have the decision she made.
And particularly her legacy of staying not just true
to the church, but really continuing to build Zion throughout her life.
And one last thought on plural marriage in Utah is that not everyone said yes to it.
And those who did not say yes to it were not excommunicated, they were not excluded.
Sarah Kimball, who was one of the founders of relief society after the death of her husband she never
Married again. She didn't become a plural wife and she was one of our most important leaders in relief society for decades
She was a relief society president for decades. She helped Eliza Arsnoe reestablish relief society throughout Utah because it was
disrupted towards the end of the Navu period. She you know all praised to her all of the people
in the high circles were friends with her and honored her. So there was you could still be
socially successful in Salt Lake and in the church, even while turning down Plural
Marit. I think that's an important thing to understand. So, so really this was, this was for
these people. We've said it, but I want to say it again, an Abrahamic test. It was very difficult.
For some of them, it worked out better than for others. Some of them got, some women got along really well
with their sister wives and they found they had some freedom
to develop their talents and, you know, take turns
caring for each other's children and it really,
it worked in a beautiful way and other people didn't
get along well with their sister wives
or there was a lot of jealousy over limited resources.
So for a lot of people, there was also pain.
For Emily and Wells, whose diaries are published,
we're continually publishing them
and a lot of them are online now
on the Church of Historians press site.
She's a fabulous diarist.
It keeps very detailed diaries.
And you can see in her diaries,
the pain that came from plural marriage, especially when she was
married to Daniel H. Wells, whom she really loved, and she just wanted to have more time with him.
They were both intellectuals, and she enjoyed talking with him and exchanging ideas,
but you also see her absolute faith that she was doing the right thing, that he was doing the
right thing. She devoted her entire life to building the church and supporting the gospel. So it's important
for us to honor the legacy of women and men who accepted this.
Kate, what you just said reminds me of a quote from Brittany Nash, who I just mentioned
earlier. It's actually not a quote from Brittany Nash, but a quote from a woman she studied
who was in a pull against marriage and a plural marriage. And this is her name is Martha
Craig and Cox. And this is what she wrote. She said to me,
it is a joy to know that we laid the foundation of a life to come while we lived in that plural marriage.
That we three, and she's talking about the three women,
who loved each other more than sisters, children of one mother love, will go hand in hand together
down through all eternity. That knowledge, that knowledge, is worth more to me than gold,
and more than compensates for all the sorrow I have ever known.
and more than compensates for all the sorrow I have ever known. And that's beautiful.
And that gets it something that, you know,
one of the things that Plural Marriage did was it opened people up.
It broadened their sense of who they were responsible for.
I think that's a challenge we have today in our nuclear families
is to really take
seriously our responsibilities to our ward families to the people beyond our nuclear
family. Of course, we prioritize our nuclear family, but plural marriage was an effective
way to get people to really look out for each other beyond beyond themselves.
Wow. Wow, wow, wow. And I wonder, just as we finish up, there's one more fear I know people have.
And so I wanted to address it.
And maybe it's the biggest fear people have now, and especially female church members
in thinking about the afterlife.
And that is, will I be forced to practice plural marriage. What our current leaders have assured us is that nobody will be forced
to practice plural marriage in the eternities. And what we know is that those foundational and that foundational truth of agency. So it's not the gospel, I believe, in if people were,
it's not the gospel that exists in our scriptures and in our other holy texts, if we were to be forced to participate in plural marriage.
The Lord promises a fullness of joy, right?
I have the elder Bruce Ramrakonky said once, plural marriage is not essential to salvation
or exaltation.
Nephi and his people were denied the power to have more than one wife, and yet they could
gain every blessing and eternity that the Lord ever offered to any people.
In our day, the Lord summarized by revelation,
the whole doctrine of exaltation,
and predicated it upon the marriage of one man to one woman.
And the reference is doctrine of covenant,
section 132, verses one through 28, when he said that.
So it's a good reminder that there's plenty of scriptural evidence in addition to the fact that
plural marriage is not a prerequisite for salvation. I think the reason this is so painful
to think about is because death is painful, the separation that comes with death. I remember my grandma, I
grew up with my grandma, and my grandpa died when I was five, and every once in a
while she admit he was really worried when she died and he came to meet her, and
he would have another wife on his arm. It was a very real fear for her. And even my
my cousin recently left a husband, and she just worries she's young.
She's in her 50s that by the time she dies, they won't have much in common anymore
because they will have had such different perspectives for decades.
You know, it's with our human minds.
It's a it's point and it hurts.
I remember I myself when I was facing a life-threatening illness and was
considering the possibility of my own death, theoretically, I'd always thought I wanted,
if I were to die, I wanted my husband to take another wife for companionship for all
of these good things that we get through marriage.
But when I thought about it in actual terms, it was excruciatingly painful. Yeah. And I think one sort of analogy that's helped me is in the business world or in my world
too, in the history department, in church headquarters, you know that a manager is sometimes
privy to information that the direct reports to the manager just don't have,
because that's what a manager does,
the manager has other conversations.
And then the higher up you go,
the more that person is privy to information
that the other people, the people who do more producing
and less managing just don't have.
And so you learn that you don't make your decisions based solely on your own experience
and what you know, you need to check in with the people ahead of you because they have
more information than you do.
And so in my job, I know that my boss checks in with our Apostle Advisors.
So I know that he has a perspective and information that I don't have. Well, that is just a tiny little example of what you think about when you think of our relationship
with God.
God knows so much more than my boss or the church historian or even the apostle advisors,
right?
God has all of the wisdom, all of the knowledge, all of the understanding.
So once again, we're back there to that foundation of faith in God and God's goodness. And if I think of every experience I've
had when I have felt close to God, I have felt encouraged, I have felt peaceful, I felt clear in my
head, and I above all have felt loved. And that's my tiny little experiences with God on earth,
to be in his presence, to think about what the afterlife
is out with the different kingdoms.
So like, I think they're just that experience
of God's love magnified over and over again.
I don't even know what exponent to use.
Yeah, but I love that. Trust the manager. He has the information. He's going to take care of you.
I like that. Okay, Dr. Holbrook, I think our listeners would love to hear, you know, from someone who has studied these,
the history of the church so in depth as you have for so long, you don't look at it, but for so long
What are your personal feelings towards Joseph Smith his contemporaries and the restoration?
You know, I am so grateful that I've had the job I've had where I get to
my my office is in the archive and I get to, my office is in the archive, and I get to call up these documents, things
in people's handwriting, and think about how to include them in stories and papers and
books that then the rest of the church can have.
And when I'm in my office with these records, I feel guided by the
spirit so strongly and sometimes it feels like I feel I really feel a spirit of
the person who created the document. Those experiences I have, you know,
sometimes it's just not being able to find something I need.
And then having a missionary just stop by and wonder if I could use this and then it turns out
to be just what I need. All of those everyday miracles that have happened throughout my career,
the Church History Department have really taught me, I have the knowledge, I know what's in the sources now, but I also have
all of those, like the spiritual testimonies of the people who made the records, both because
they've written things down and because I've felt them, I felt them with me.
There is nothing to be afraid of in church history, except maybe getting information
from a bad source or getting only a
little bit of information when you when you need more, you need more context and you need other sources.
But when you see it through and I can say this with the opportunities I've had to see things
through and I think I've seen all the troubling things through in my own research, it all increases my faith. It all increases
my wisdom. Nothing out there that I'm scared of. I know that God is in this church. I know that
our Savior is in this church. I know that even this tricky revelation that we studied today, I know that it
God is in it that Joseph Smith was a prophet and that when we honor them and seek to go closer to
them, they'll come closer to us. That's where the truth is.
John, it was a great episode to follow him.
It's going to bless a lot of people.
Thank you so much, Kate, for being with us today.
You've blessed my life and have changed away.
I will read and have marked this section forevermore.
Well, thank you so much for the kind words and for the opportunity to join you and talk
about this.
It was time well spent. We hope that all of our listeners feel the same way. We can't thank you enough for listening. We wouldn't have a podcast if it weren't for you. We want to tell you that
we're grateful. We want to thank our executive producers, Steven Shannon-Sorinson and our production crew,
Will Stouten, David Perry, Jamie Nielsen, Lisa Spice, and Kyle Nelson.
And we hope all of you will join us on our next episode of Follow Him. Thank you.