Free With Ads - A Walk To Remember

Episode Date: August 20, 2024

This week Jordan and Emily watched the 2002 romantic teen tragedy movie "A Walk To Remember" starring Mandy Moore as a perfect Christian high schooler who falls in love with a bad boy. Also she is dying. Also she can sing.Want to have your very own message read by Emily, Jordan, and Matt? Well you can for a very reasonable price by going to https://maximumfun.org/jumbotron/Visit Emily's ETSY store right now and buy some stuff!Make sure to purchase a copy of Jordan's YA horror graphic novel Youth Group, AND see him  in Los Angeles on August 24th at 826LA.Emily, Jordan, and producer Matt Lieb will be on Good Mythical Weekend throughout the summer, so if you haven’t subscribed to GMM on YouTube, you should do so immediately.Listen to our newest bonus episode of Free With Ads about The Outer Limits pilot! To listen, join Maximum Fun now (if you haven't already!)

Hey guys, it's Jordan. Today's movie on Free With Ads is A Walk To Remember. This movie does contain a cancer plotline, so if that's not something you want to hear about, maybe take a minute during our theme music to find another episode. Alright! This is Free With Ads, the podcast that asks the question, why pay Netflix 15 bucks a month for thousands of cookie cutter rom-coms when you can go on YouTube for free and watch a cookie cutter rom-com with more Christian rock needle drops than Chris Pratt's sex playlist? I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming.

Today's movie is A Walk to Remember, the sexiest movie of the early aughts. If you're into sweaters, wallet chains, and terminal cancer. Before we get into this movie, which is at the time of this recording, streaming free with ads, we're going to talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week. Other free stuff. Emily, what have you seen? Okay, so we talked about a couple episodes ago, Jordan, you and I going to Auntie Anne's and getting those, um, sausage pretzel bites and then dipping them in the jalapeno cheese sauce.

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Well, uh, Auntie Anne is coming out with a perfume. Oh my God. Called Need. K'need. You know, like with the K. And, um, it's supposed to just smell like warm, like buttery pretzel dough with a little sweetness to it.

It's not out right now at the time of this recording, but I think August 14th is when you can get it on their website. Wow. You've included an Instagram link. Yeah, it's spelled K-N-E-A-D. Eau de pretzel it says I mean is there a fucking better smell than Auntie Anne's I don't think so I mean Cinnabon if they tried to go down with this then that would be like amazing but cinnamony like flavored stuff like perfumes and candles I hate it they never smell right i know yeah i think savory is easier

savory is better and yet but i mean if cinnabon came out with one then like hot dog on a stick has to pony up orange julius and you could just mix them all and just smell like a mall i feel like this is a dangerous game that they're playing with people's senses because especially if you know i don't know if you guys have that kind of memory of smell like the first person you ever kissed and you remember how they like smells i have that so it would be insane if i got horny every time i passed a hot dog on a stick wait that's funny does hot dog on a stick enter into your first kiss no i'm saying though if like the girl who i had first kissed was wearing the auntie annie's smell right that's coming out rather than whatever victoria's secret smell she was wearing then i couldn't go into a

mall without crying oh i understand what you're saying yes does it create the most powerful nostalgic sense memory? Exactly. And I'm saying it's- I'm just trying to go to H&M to get socks. I need a belt from Nordstrom. And now I'm remembering Jamie. Jamie. I was just thinking about a sensory smell thing.

Did you guys ever use Noxzema? I was a Stridex man. I was a Stridex man for my acne. I didn't have acne. I have eczema, so I don't produce oil. Well, not to brag, but I have both. Wow. But yeah, I'm looking forward to finding out more about this perfume.

If anyone buys it, please let us know your review. I'm going to try to get my paws on it, but I don't know. And then I don't know who should be next. I just, I think that maybe- Sbarro. Sbarro? Oh, no, no. I was going to say like the Purcell Pan pizzas from Pizza Hut when I was a kid had this very

like doughy, thick smell that was really good. I would love a Pizza Hut perfume. That'd be great. Wouldn't be terrible. So what you got, Jordan? I love Family Feud Family Feud to me is the funniest thing in the world it's the only comedy

that I like I just love I just love Steve Harvey mugging I love Steve Harvey suits I love weird families and like Family Feud compilations online are just like I would rather watch those than any prestige TV, right?

Yeah. Like, will I laugh more at an episode of Hacks? Probably not. So I will put on this Family Feud compilation. So I love it every time these pop up online. And I saw this on the Facebook page of a great improviser, Cole Stratton. I don't know if any of you guys know Cole Stratton. Oh yeah, from Sketch Fest.

Yeah, he organizes Sketch Fest. He's an improviser, all around good dude, but he posted this Family Feud clip on his Facebook and it's a category that I really love where it's neither contestant understands the question. So it's the face-off thing and neither of them understand what they're supposed to do. So yeah, Matt, can you play this clip?

Top seven answers on the board, ladies. Here we go. Name a number that most men exaggerate. 100. 100. What? 69? 69? So I think what they're looking for is like height or shoe size.

Penis size. Penis size. Let's be real. Bank account. Well then, six feet is the only one that I could think of. For penis size, what is it? Eight inches? Is that the one? People would exaggerate. They'd say it's eight, but it's actually

five. But it's not just pick any number. How do you exaggerate the number 100? It is the amount that it is. 100 is not 200. 500, 25,600 minutes? Right.

Oh, yeah. How do you measure a year? You know what? It's so funny to think about. I bet hinge stuff in the UK is confusing. How many meters are you? Yeah, how many kilometers does that dick do? Yeah, right.

How much does it weigh in stone? That's a lot of grams, isn't it? Gup-nup. He's a thick bloke, he is. He's a thick bloke, yeah. Impossible to sext in the UK. It's just too goofy. It's 23 centimeters.

Well, hey, speaking of sexy we're gonna talk about a walk to remember oh boy Emily so this this was your pick you you spotted this uh on the old free with ads list um what what what drew you to this movie and had you seen it before? Oh, yes, I've seen it. I saw it twice in the theater when I was 18, and I had a high school boyfriend who was very Christian Catholic, who was so – I probably have never been more heartbroken as I was with this boyfriend. This movie made me cry my eyes out. Oh, boy. Again. Like, I don't, I can't explain it.

You guys, I was just crying for no reason the whole movie. Well, it's like when Matt smells Panda Express. Jamie! Jamie! You were as sweet as orange chicken. Yeah, it's, it's, I i don't know you were right about the needle drops though and it's not just the christian rock there were some needle drops all throughout this movie too i'm so excited so yeah so it seems to have there's a dichotomy

that's going on here so the there's the bad kids and the good kids the bad kids they get secular rock but the good kids they get christian rock uh and i think i would say that this is the this soundtrack is the christian rock um empire records absolutely absolutely that jars of clay i heard one song clay i love that song oh yeah i mean it's it's it's a it's a christian rock crossover classic oh Oh, is that a Christian rock? Here's the thing. I don't know the difference. I don't know which band is Christian rock and which band is secular rock.

So this movie came out at the height of Christian rock bands trying to trick you. This is Creed. This is Switchfoot. This is Lifehouse. And Jars of Clay are kind of some of the OGs, I think. Amy Grant, another good example of like, if you just like say, if you just say him instead of God, and like

you know, you could sing about love, but you know, maybe you mean the love betwixt Lord and man, but like on the radio. Whose name are you lifting up on high? Sure, whose name? A lot of great names out there.

Jamie. Jamie. Oh, Jamie. Jamie. Jamie, if you're out there listening, I'm married and have a baby now, so don't text me. Tough shit. Don't text.

Don't text me. Just hang out smelling like beef and broccoli, okay? Every time I smell a crab rangoon, I will cry. Oh, yeah. I need a crab rangoon perfume. That sounds good. Well, yeah. I had never seen this movie, but I kind of like recognize it as kind of like an aughts classic.

It's kind of a Christian kitsch classic. Matt, had you seen it? No, I'd never seen it before. Matt, had you seen it? No, I'd never seen it before I knew the plot of it I think probably from the trailer which I will say it takes

about an hour and 15 minutes before the plot kicks in In terms of weirdly structured movie Very weirdly structured, you don't find out that she is dying until the movie is almost over As someone who has seen the trailer which i think everyone in the movie no one went into a walk to

remember blind no so most people are watching it with leukemia exactly yeah i think most people were probably feeling the same way i mean emily did you feel watching the movie like when are we going to get to the cancer or did you not know cancer was a factor um yeah i was like i was also kind of like are we gonna fuck or no like what's going on like like you're married now did it happen like i don't know right um there's a yeah there is a there's a child wedding in this there is but i didn't even think about it like that holy shit that is so true but yeah i guess um but for some reason when i'm watching it you're always in suspense that okay she has cancer but maybe she won't die right oh yeah and then then he'll just dump her like every high school boy does at the end of the fucking semester or whatever.

Sure, yeah. He hooks up with his RA in college. She's got a cool nose ring. Her name is Jamie and I love her. Oh, Jamie. She was my RA. No. Really?

Jamie's like a real name. It's not just a random poem. That's so funny. Oh, my God. She wasn't my first kiss. I just want to, my God. She wasn't my first kiss. I just want to point that out. She wasn't my first kiss, okay? Yeah, I also think this...

Cabbage Patch Kids don't count, Matt. Well, yeah, let's get into it. So the movie opens. You hear that kind of opening riff of the Breeders' Cannonball. It's a secular song. So we're hanging with the bad kids fucking great needle drop uh this is song over you shirt as a rule absolutely and when it's kicked in i'm like oh hell yes this is gonna be a soundtrack movie and it is a soundtrack ass

movie um we're with the bad kids they're drinking near some sort of aqueduct or something. These are the cool kids, the bulk of the cool kids group. It is the most interchangeable gaggle of vaguely attractive white guys. Oh my God. These are just a bunch of Glenn Powells, just a bunch of identical Glenn Powells, but since it's 2002,

they have giant belt buckles and wallet chains. They do look exactly alike. They do, yeah. It's very difficult to know who you're supposed to be paying attention to in the first 10 minutes of the movie. Also, all of his friends seem to, well, one friend in particular, seem to flip-flop on who they are as a person. They'll be a

like a disgusting horny pig one minute and then go say like oh i think she's changed you and you don't even know it and then go back to doing something else and you're like what these friends are really weird i just think they suck yeah so there's identical white guys there's two two women without any characteristics they do they. They have a black friend who just really has some unfortunate black friend dialogue. Yes. Real cringy 2002 stuff here. The actor's real good. He does a nice job with it.

But yeah, just has some real rough stuff saddled with. His role is to be horny for the rest of them. Yeah. rough stuff uh saddled with his role is to be horny for the rest of them yeah he says the horniest thing you can think of uh and everyone just goes yeah sure i mean it's a role a role's a role it's a role it's a role and uh yeah hopefully hopefully this dude got some nice sag health insurance out of this and um yeah we we wish him well um but the bad kids they're being I hope so too. psych doesn't do it but the dude who does dive has some sort of get some sort of injury where he passes out no one jumps in to save him could have been a very different movie like it could have been a very different movie if they had just let him die but instead our lead jumps in and he

yeah he finally does finally Finally our lead jumps in. Emily, do you have any connection to this dude? He seems like such an early aughts hunk to me. Do you know where he came from? I don't. I didn't have a big connection to him. He doesn't I don't remember him from any of

the TV shows of that era, but I do remember him being Tom Sawyer in A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Oh, but I do remember him being Tom Sawyer in A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Oh, that's right. Yes. Right. And that's mainly what I know him from.

They tried to Glenn Powell this guy. He was in like four big movies in a couple years and now is just like on CBS, which is probably fucking great. Yeah, that's pretty funny. Good for him. He still very much looks the same, too. He's like very good looking.

I think maybe this movie was just like, I don't know, such saccharine candy, you know, that it's like hard to be known for something else after doing this movie. I don't know. Yeah. You know. Yeah, it is its own thing for sure. So this one interchangeable white guy goes into a weird diving coma and everybody else escapes. But our lead dude, he gets caught.

And then we go to church the next day where the preacher is kind of like vaguely alluding to what went on. I think he's the tallest guy in the movie. Tallest guy. I'm just going to make an assumption here. Emily, hunk watch for the preacher? Oh, you know, it's so crazy. While I was watching this, I wasn't even thinking of any hunks at all. Except for the Lord Jesusesus christ that's right yes oh my

god that is my hunk watch watch is the statue of jesus so let's do it it's just our lord but you know what um i'll say p Coyote. That is his name. The actor. He didn't do it for me in this movie. And neither did Landon. Well, Landon kind of did it for me. I don't know. I was not horny during this movie. I was just sad.

Yeah. Oh, no. Is this going to be our least horny movie? Yeah. Yeah. Just the saddest masturbation ever. Sorry, listeners. yeah yeah just the saddest masturbation ever sorry listeners um so it is um so yeah so the preacher uh he's kind of calling everybody out from the pulpit um i did i kind of was looking at this guy i'm like this seems like an emily hunk to me he's he's stern he He's responsible. Dad. No? Nothing? No.

Okay. I don't know what it was. It's just I think maybe it's the preacher thing kind of got me off on that. Maybe that's it. Yeah. I think I just – it's so crazy. I didn't even think about Hunkwatch while I was watching this movie. What is wrong with me?

Yeah. I kind of looked around too and I'm, I bet Emily might like the preacher, but I guess swing and a miss for this week's hunk watch. If he had been a principal or something, he was getting him, yeah. Or a financial advisor, like in The Godfather. Yeah, right. He's no Robert Duvall.

Or if he was like her drunk deadbeat dad. Sure, sure, sure. All right. All right. But those high-waisted pleated khakis with a braided leather belt tucked in right below the nipple. I don't. It's not going. I'm not going for it.

Not hunky. Not hunky. No. But the preacher, he's got a daughter. She's in the choir. She's singing beautifully. This is played by Mandy Moore. My favorite thing about listening to the singing, again,

is because everybody was singing kind of like Britney Spears where there was this uh at the beginning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she was like, my, my Lord. This kind of thing. And it was like, stop being horny for the Lord. Oh, Jesus, Jesus. Oh, Jesus, Jesus. My heart was

supposed to grow. Save me, baby, one more time. That's true. There was a whole generation of singers who had in every song. At the beginning of every note, it was so weird. So weird.

Did either of you have like opinions about Mandy Moore going into this? Like, were you were you fans? Do you like her acting or singing or anything like that? I did. She had that one song that Candy that came out when I was in high school and I thought it was cool. candy that came out when I was in high school and I thought it was cool but it just felt like at the time everyone was a cookie cutter like like replacement for Britney Spears yeah and it got kind of annoying after a while I think we were like okay we got Britney and Christina Aguilera I don't know what you guys are trying to do with all these other too many girls next door too many

I mean and all their songs sound the same and so she was like another one and I was like why I always thought she was uh really pretty uh and I didn't listen to any of the music um and then in watching this movie I went like uh well now she has that morning you know talk show and then I realized I was talking about Kelly Clarkson. I don't know what happened to Mandy Moore. She's probably just living her life. No, she was in the TV show This Is Us that was a huge, huge success. That was her?

This Is Us? That was her? That's the other name of the TV show. Yeah, This Is Her. That is us. But I do think that that show is so funny because the old age makeup they try to put on Mandy Moore is just... Oh, that's right, because it jumps in time, right?

Everybody has to play like kid versions of themselves and then elderly versions of themselves. Yeah, it's not convincing, that old age makeup. It ain't doing it. I just say like, you know, give some bangs onto the person or something, just cover it up. Give some bangs on there. So our dude Landon, he's in trouble

and he's got to do all kinds of punishments says the principal he's got to do three big punishments mandy moore will be there for all of them he has to he has to like tutor kids in like the bad neighborhood he has to be in the school play and what is his other punishment it's something else it's clean the clean the janitor stuff janitor oh which we never really saw him doing i don't only one time and it was i feel like he was doing it during a science class or something i was like shouldn't it be in school it was very strange all of the punishments didn't involve like just being at you know studying right yeah just honestly you should

be doing yeah so my favorite thing is that um she so mandy moore's character has a has a pretty much a bucket list of things to do and one of them is be in two places at once and i'm like okay well she's doing that throughout this whole fucking movie like she's at tutoring kids while she's this whole fucking movie like she's at tutoring kids while she's practicing for the play she's got yeah she's got a comical amount of extracurricular she is doing everything for fun that this kid is doing for punishment yes um she and so okay so we go to the school play he clearly doesn't want to be there he's like fuck this and they give him the lead yeah and they talk about how bad he is they're like you're the lead it's just this matter of like everyone him the lead. And they talk about how bad he is. They're like, you're the lead.

It's just this matter of like everyone in the movie knows he's the main character. And like think about it. Like if you're a high school drama class of like there's a kid who doesn't want to be here. He's the lead. Like if you're in that class where you're like, what the fuck? I like it here. I'm a nerd. I sing Rent every day. It's true.

Why does my bully get to play Tevye like that's fucking bullshit well it is kind of like and I don't know what your high schools were like but it was hard to find dudes to be in theater not my high school no really

well it's like so now you're just we're gonna force one in here and then we'll make him have the lead it's like well it's a yeah he's captive audience and there's so the place that i like that the play they're doing is written by a student and it's a gangster play i was like this rules i want to see more of this gangster play the 15 year old wrote it's kind of insane too because you're you're right before that happens his friend is like oh man i hope you guys are gonna play west side story and make some like sexual innuendo about maria yeah and then immediately it's like hey this ninth grade child uh wrote a play uh that we're all going to do and you're just like well didn't you

why like you expect that's a whole other movie by the way the movie about the 14 year old who writes full length musicals yeah about a lounge singer a sexy lounge singer who goes and I lift my

head and pray la la la la I guess they say that Mandy Moore's character wrote the music Oh really? Yeah, I think that Because I was wondering that too I was like, are they assuming this kid wrote all these songs And then they do say something

I'm like, oh, and she wrote all this Because, you know, she's such a joiner Yeah, it's also like they cast her as the sexiest part and would like don't you have to ask her preacher dad permission before she can do shit like that i don't know yeah she's like she has she like takes off her fur and she's wearing this like glamorous gown under i know yeah i i will say i i think she's great in this and i think this character is really good i think this character is written good. I think this character is written really well. I think you like,

like religious, you know, prude can be so cartoony, but I think she's really specific. She likes drama. She likes astronomy. She's super fucking confident. She has this like,

you know, I don't care what people think of me energy and i think i think she's great and i i yeah i really like the character it's a shame she's not the main character this movie is about fucking landon who who's a zero it's like zero yeah anyway so it's i i think every everything with her is great yeah and i yeah anyway it's just one of those things where it's like the the fucking main character in this is wrong right like it's it's a story about a hot delinquent who meets who meets someone he doesn't deserve but do we count her as a a manicie dream girl? Because I think we do.

Oh, sure. Yeah. She's in the ballpark, but she's not manic. You know? She's a stable pixie dream girl. Yeah. A responsible pixie dream girl who's in bed by 10. She's a medical pixie dream girl.ie yeah because she's going to medical school

so by the way she has cancer they have not talked about it yet yeah as emily mentioned they're driving home one day and she mentions a bucket list and i'm like oh right she oh okay that's a comment so she has these like wishes. She wants to like, do you remember? I don't really remember. I remember the being in two places at once thing. Do you remember what any of the other ones were? The tattoo.

So they did. She wants to get a tattoo. Dance like no one's watching. I don't know, a bunch of lame shit. Dance like no one's watching. How are none of the things on the bucket list like have an orgasm you know what i mean see this is my i guess when i was in high school i still had issues with you know like

sex making you feel like a dirty bad person right and stuff like that and so it made sense to me that they'd never have sex and now i'm watching it and i was like she just had to get married and then die like there was nothing there was no honeymoon there was no like i don't know it just looked like they had the marriage the wedding at the end of then and then she died yeah exactly before anyone could come what's the point of the wedding you know it's just like yes i'd be like hey screw the wedding let's fuck i don't know but you know yeah but then she'd go to hell that's true all that hard work for nothing for nothing um so yeah what a cruel god by the way i tutored 300 kids and they all got into nice high schools. But I fucked. Time to go to hell.

I let one person finger me before I died and now I get eternal hellfire. Sorry. That's just how it works. I don't make the rules. Oh, wait, I do. I'm God. So like they don't like each other at first, obviously. And then they start't like each other at first obviously and then they start to like each other and there's this there's this montage of him like getting his life together where he's like kind of

trying with the kids he's trying in um he's he's like trying in the school play um i've i've got some stuff from the soundtrack here um it's it's just it's i think it's just gonna be fun this montage is a song from the new radicals like the greatest one-hit wonder band of all time i thought maybe i heard their voice yeah matt do you want to play a little of this montage song it's so good Just can't get enough, just can't get enough Oh, oh, oh Just gotta get enough, just gotta get enough Something about me Gotta rehearse for the play, gotta do a good job Visit my friend in the hospital, he jumps off the bridge

But fuck my dad. I don't like that guy yet. Eventually I'll like my dad again. Me and my dad will reconcile. This is my dead girlfriend. The music in this is so over the top. I love it. It's just like every other fucking scene transition is a song like this yeah a needle drop and it's

just i can't it's too much for me man emily did you have this soundtrack did you buy this soundtrack after watching the movie i did not but i'm going to get it now like it's i think i'm gonna be listening to jars of clay that lift me up song or whatever oh yeah i love that every time i hear it i go oh yeah that song slaps this so this they're the band that goes you know you got the music in you they had a hit but the band broke up before the album came out or something like a month into the album coming out and the the lead singer hated touring and just retired to producing. Fucking every song on that is a cool, like funky jam like that.

Damn. So in that song, their hit, he like, this is Hanson. Do you remember that lyric? It's like Courtney Love and Beck and Hanson, you're all fakes run to your mansion. Yeah, he said Marilyn Manson too. Oh yeah, sure, Marilyn Manson's in there um yeah he later apologized to Hanson he went on to write a song with them

and it fucking rules what's the song what is the yeah Matt Matt could you could you find it while we're talking and maybe at the end of the thing we could play a little bit of the Hanson new radical song anyway it's a great little story Hanson rules he rules um anyway um so yeah that play a little bit of the Hanson New Radicals song anyway it's a great little story Hanson rules he rules anyway so yeah that's a little ditty on the soundtrack we'll be playing

a few little ditties from there's a couple more little ditties yeah so he's Landon's getting his life together he's at the school play. His dad shows up. Emily mentioned Landon's bad relationship with his dad. The dad comes to see the play.

He's trying to reconcile. Dad says something like, don't walk away from me. And Landon says, you taught me how. Woo! Bam! Got him. Got his ass. Stinger, just a stinger. Got his ass. Yeah. Fuck you a stinger. Got his ass.

Yeah. Fuck you, dad. Boo, you suck. Shitty dad. And then he like, and then so he starts to get like kind of too cool for Mandy Moore. And like kind of disses her in front of his friends. Yeah, he wanted to acknowledge their friendship in front of people. So then he's having this cool hang with one of his buds,

and they're listening to, oh, God, I think it's Get Your Freak On. I think they're listening to Get Your Freak On. Oh, nice. And then Landon changes the radio, and this is what comes out of it. But if I can't swim after 40 days And my mind is crushed by the crashing waves

Let me up so high And I can't afford to be alone Let me up So yeah, that was the... That's so good. A very early kind of sneaky Christian rock song that made it on to like, you know, just modern rock radio. I loved going. Did you go to like little retreats called like Warmth in Winter and Summer Sizzler, Jordan, when you were doing church youth group stuff?

No, I never went to Summer Sizzler. Summer Sizzler sounds great. I went to Summer Sizzler in the summer and got a buffet. Sizzler. I used Sizzler in the summer. It's like all of the Methodist youth groups like in the area or whatever, whoever wanted to participate would show up for this like weekend retreat. It was like Friday night to Sunday. And so you got to make out with all new Christian kids from other schools, well from other churches. So it was just like just like but yeah warped in winter was in the uh convention center in nashville okay there were like rock out stuff like this there was like christian bands playing on stage in this big convention space and then you go find like a

staircase to make out under that sounds like fun hell yeah it was so fun and that's why that song really like jars of clay rocks you in the background oh it sure does yes um so this is kind of how his friends know that like she's getting to him because he's listening to christian rock um so he feels bad about like dissing her he brings her a sweater there's like a running joke about her sweater in this um so he brings her like a new sweater because they say she only has the one um and this is a case where like the the the nerd coded character in this would just is just a cool gen z person now like yeah someone who wears that would just be like a cool intern in your office or something yeah just be like this is my And also, I'm not into consumerism.

It's cottagecore. I thrifted all of this. Oh, she is so cottagecore. Very cottagecore. Yeah. They're also really reaching for something to shit on her with. She's so pretty. Fuck off.

You know she's prettier than you. You're just jealous. I don't know. Maybe also tell her to wash her bangs. I would do that occasionally dirty bangs oh they are greasy just like mine are right now so i'm recording a sweater emily are you doing mandy moore cosplay oh my god you have leukemia or you found christ well yeah i have neither i guess um i guess i probably will find both at some point

in my life but you know find leukemia yeah there you are no no no i don't got it i found it it's deep in weird so the the cool kids decide they're gonna prank her for no real reason um so they used like 2002 computers to like put her face on the body of like bikini model yeah and then the text says virgin mary and they like pass it out at school so fucking confusing what's the first deep fake yeah it is but like the head that they use is black and white and the model is color like i could tell what they were trying to do like they wanted to do but like the thing itself is so mild and confusing the fact that she would be upset by it is really weird like i think they're trying to signal something worse right like they're

but just don't show the flyer have them like yeah photoshopping something and then have them looking at a flyer and you get to imagine how bad it is. Right. Because the thing they show you is just like, what is this? It's very silly. And, you know, I think if that had happened in real life, she would have laughed. Like, oh, that's funny. You guys made a funny little thing.

Well, I'll tell you this. What does this mean? My name's not Mary. I'll tell you this. People have been doing this to me on Reddit for a while. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I look better with whatever they did to it. There have been ones where it's like my head attached to a naked person's body or whatever.

And I'm like, I hope everyone thinks this is real. I'm going to put these on my phone so that someone can hack into it and steal it. Yeah, I'm going to like. Oh, no no my nudes put them on my imdb be like i am available for whatever i gotta do that too i gotta like photoshop myself on someone with just a massive hog and just be like oh no someone hacked my computer my nudes Yeah. The guy's got a three foot long dick. But how many kilometers?

Oh, you lost the pole vault at the Olympics. Oh, that poor guy. Poor guy. You say poor, but look at that. Yeah, he's probably doing all right. Yeah. Hang on, these guys are doing all right. Yeah, he's doing all right.

So this is kind of like what draws them together. Like this is what like makes, like solidifies them as a couple. He like rejects his friends and he immediately starts calling her baby. Like they have not done anything at this point. They haven't kissed or anything, but all of a sudden he's like, what's the matter, baby?

Let's get out of here, baby. So just like, this is it. They're in a relationship. Um, he goes out to, to,

to like ask her dad for permission to take her out. Very respectful. They go to the restaurant they go to. It's supposed to be romantic. It's these tables, and they're outside on grass. They never show the restaurant. It's the weirdest cheap location. I'm like, are these not on a patio?

They're just tables on grass it's so weird i'm trying to figure out where they are because when she straddles the two places at once the state line it's virginia and then what are they what's the other one oh yeah that's one of their dates is he takes her out to like the state line i love being driven out to the state line on a date not creepy at all uh and they like stand in two places and they like kiss and it's very romantic. I will say I did throughout this movie was like remembering like high school crushes and like high school like first dating stuff a lot. And I remembered that my first date like this where I like took a girl to a restaurant and paid, was at a Chili's. Hell yeah.

Yeah, that's our boy. Yep. Hell yeah. So this was set in North Carolina, by the way. Okay. So just a bunch of patio tables on grass checks out. Yeah, could be. Who knows?

Weird state. Okay, yeah, maybe. Maybe. But what were you, tell us about your Chili's date, though. What'd you order? How'd that go? I had chicken fingers. I mean, you know good with Chili's and not chicken fingers.

I'm glad you didn't get the ribs. You knew enough to not get ribs. Yeah. I mean, I wanted my baby back, to be fair. I did want my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs. But you didn't want to be covered in barbecue sauce so yeah so they kind of do all the stuff on her bucket list again he still doesn't know that she has cancer but they're just doing her bucket list he gives her a like

shoulder tattoo um like a like a um like a rub-on tattoo it's a butterfly and he like blows on it oh my god yeah i think i'm gonna give him the hunk watch in that moment yeah that's the hunk watch and it really reminded me of like those just little things you do before you've done anything romantic of like holding hands and like excuses to like touch somebody yeah this this this stuff is we is weirdly hot i think it's like weirdly like and really just reminded me of those first like exciting dates and stuff like that so this was yeah i think that is why this movie like it feels like i was transported back totally like it's very like yeah the high school stuff in it is really vivid um yeah and yeah it was like a fun little little place to go to um so yeah so they bring she's into astronomy

so they go stargazing and she's like oh you expect me to lay on a blanket with you and he's like i brought two blankets so they like both lay on separate blankets because they're Christians. But then she's leaning back between his legs. Yeah, I noticed that. They're really like, no, no, stay on your blanket. But then they do this like cuddle thing where their crutches are lined up.

Exactly. The Kama Sutra of triumph. For some Christians, like Jesus has a lot of rules, but really shitty lawyers. Right. Got it on a technicality. He has nothing but loopholes. Like, damn it. I guess you can do anal.

Fine. It's not in there. I didn't put it in the book. Fucking lawyers. These attorney's fees are driving me to the poorhouse. But he also brought blankets because they're going to stay there all night. And all he brought was blankets and a big thermos of hot coffee. I was like, nothing is grosser than making out with coffee breath, which I'm assuming because he's a boy.

He didn't put any sugar or cream in there. It's just black coffee like he's a detective from 1975. And then you got to make out together. What happened to some snacks, bro? Yeah. Bring some snacks to the graveyard. It's 2002. You could probably still get Gushers.

Yes. Cookies. Get some Little Debbies. Get some Little Debbies. Treat her to some Debbies. I know. I couldn't agree more. get gushers yes cookies get some get some little debbies get some little debbies treat her treat treat treat her to some debbies i know i couldn't agree more yeah the coffee thing is weird um so so they're so they're walking around they see some bad kids at a party we get uh 311 uh uh down i think is the the needle drop there this is like secular bad kid music. So there was no 311. And that's when she drops the bomb is that she has leukemia and she is only

has a little bit to live. And he is mad at her. He is weirdly pissed. And that's when we get, that's when we get this needle drop. Oh, okay. Here it is.

Oh, okay. Here it is. Oh, maybe this is wrong. I'm thinking of Switchfoot. No, no, no. Hold on. This is it. I'm pretty sure this is it. My girlfriend is gonna die Cause she had cancer

She didn't tell me And I am mad How come she didn't tell me. And I am mad. How come she didn't tell me that she was going to die? Why did we spend all those times reading those lines? I was in a play with her. And we kissed. But now she's going to die. That's not fair.

We never had to, got to have sex or anything. I couldn't go through a whole movie with just Christian rock songs and not make my own. No, that was really beautiful. That was really beautiful. Thank you, Matt. Catch Matt on tour with DC Talk this fall. Holy shit, that was beautiful. So, okay. So, you know, she's got cancer and he's making it all about him.

He's driving around crying. He goes to his dad's house. I guess dad's a cardiologist and he asked dad if, like, can he help her? He drives and cries some more, driving and crying, driving and crying. Which, yeah, that's who you ask about leukemia. You're a doctor, right? I'm a cardiologist. I'm sorry, but that is one of the strangest scenes in the movie

he is distraught over finding out that his girlfriend has cancer drives over to his dad's house who he hates and is like it's i'm calling in a favor dad you left me when i was a kid it's time for the favor cure cancer do it do it and then he's like i don't even like he literally is like i haven't seen his her charts like how am i supposed to help and then he's just like fuck you dad and he walks away like i knew i couldn't count on you it was so strange yeah and that kid's gonna go to medical school that's that character's plan the guy who doesn't know what his dad does as a doctor is like i do doctor oh that's right. They do casually drop that he wants to go to medical school.

It's weird. It's almost like they're kidding. I'm like, are you joking about this gooper going to medical school? Are you making fun of him? Like, I put him in medical school, doctor. Well, I mean, Daryl Hannah, who plays his mom, which, by the way, it's Daryl Hannah, one of the most beautiful women in the world,

and they put this brown wig that looks like it was stuck to a carburetor or something for like six hours. You saying worst hat? It's the worst hat. The worst hat. All right. Yeah, and she's the one who kind of says to him, that's a really ambitious ambition. All right. Yeah. And she's the one who kind of says to him, that's a really ambitious, like, ambition.

I don't know. Yeah. It's like, he's like, but I could do it. She believes in me. And she's like, okay. I don't know. I don't think you've even talked to her about this because I think she would laugh. You could barely memorize the lines to a play and you could barely set foot in a hospital to visit a kid that you are responsible for almost

killing oh yeah he kind of visits coma kid at some point who is he does he's totally fine and all he does is go like i'm sorry about that that. And he goes, does that make you feel better? And he goes, no. And then it just ends. That's a very weird scene. Cool visit. I think they're trying to go for like, guys don't talk about their feelings. They just like, anyway, it is weird.

And you're not really sure how anyone feels about it. Yeah. And it's like empty handed to the hospital, too. He can't bring snacks anywhere. Yeah. Yeah, come on. This guy should just carry a backpack, have some mixed nuts in there.

Or give him one of those nice press-on tattoos. He should blow, sensually blow on his shoulder. And then he goes, I can't feel it. I can't feel my legs. Because I dove off the thing and landed. I did a belly flop and it put me into a coma for some reason. A belly flop. It was so dumb.

He belly flopped himself into a coma. Okay, so we're like weirdly almost at the end of the movie despite the plot of the movie just showing up. So let's do this. Let's take a break and then we'll get to the thrilling conclusion of A walk to remember so uh it's okay so landon and mandy moore they kind of like get back together and he like makes all her dreams come true he builds a telescope for her so they could like see a comet um mom teaches him to dance that's a very cute scene his mom daryl hannah teaches him to dance uh and then they like get married they have

like a little they have a little a little community wedding everybody comes they get married in the chapel where her mom her mom uh like went to church or they got her mom and dad got married in that and that was that Was that what it was? Yeah. Yeah. And she looks so beautiful. I really like this veil. Oh, yeah.

She looks great. Yeah. And all of his scumbag friends come around and say sorry about being scumbags because they're sad that his girlfriend's dying. Also, do you remember what our names are? We can't tell each other apart. Can you help us with our names?

Am I Brad or am I Chad? I don't even know. We all look like snowboard instructors. Or the guys who die first in Final Destination. Oh, yeah. That is absolutely these guys. That's exactly right. My head got chopped off by a roller coaster in Final Destination.

Do you know which guy I am? Man, why haven't we watched any Final Dest final destination movies for this that'd be fun oh i know i haven't seen any on on any of them but i will keep it fingers crossed i'll keep my eyes peeled yeah viewers if you see if you see a final destination movie pop up free with ads at maximum fun.org we're gonna watch it um so yeah so she like so they kind of like go from the wedding i'm like you know i'm kind of glad we don't get a protracted death scene from that's true that's true you know they do kind of like take a classy approach to it and just kind of like say over voiceover that she died um and he kind of like goes to like visit her dad every year, and he says that she wanted to experience a miracle, and he was her miracle,

and that is the end of A Walk to Remember, a movie I think we'll all remember for the rest of our lives. But you know something I don't remember? What? Their walks. Yeah. Yeah, where does the title come from? I don't know. The title seems just from i don't know that is a great question i don't know why it's called that he literally she would drive him he would drive her places

he didn't most of the movie yeah we're not walking anyway yeah they're not yeah they are tries to be called drive a drive Drive to Remember. A Drive to Recall. This is a great question. Why is it called that? I mean, it's a Nicholas Sparks book. I assume there was something that happened in the book where someone is walking and they later remember that walk. I don't know. I could Google it, but I like guessing yeah why is it called a walk to remember

yeah are Nicholas Sparks books kind of known for uh one character dying or having like an illness or something is that something I don't know yeah I've never read one but yeah i think they're i think they're known just kind of romantic weepies and uh yeah probably have i got it the same stuff oh yeah matt what do you got okay so um it is a line from the book okay uh and it's the quote is put into the movie? Maybe they did, but I don't remember. No, they didn't. They didn't. In the book, the line reads, in every way a walk to remember, referring to the walk down the aisle that they made when they got married.

Which doesn't work for this movie, as the movie is not a buildup to this wedding in any way like the wedding just kind of you kind of go oh if it had been a movie in which mandy moore's character kept saying all i want to do is get married before i die you know yeah then maybe i'd be like that way i remember for me watching this movie, that wedding scene, I was like, what? Why? There's not enough time. Are we going to see him bang? Are we going to see him bang? Yeah, right.

Exactly. This is a lot for just banging. Let's just, yeah. But in the book, that's why they call it that. Okay. That makes sense, I guess. It's pretty short church, though. So it wasn't really a walk as it was like a pivot down the aisle.

Yeah, just a small shuffle. A shuffle. A shuffle to remember. Well, yeah. So the line, a walk to remember, not in this movie, but there are some other lines in this movie that we liked. Emily, do you want to talk about your favorite line in the movie? Sure. There's a kind of, I guess, foreshadowing line when Landon kind of leaves the rehearsal

for the play and he sucks in the rehearsal he's like not really trying or whatever so Mandy Moore follows him outside to confront him and this is before they really know each other so would it kill you to try yup and I'm too young to die hell yeah

hell yeah bad boy bad boy bad boy what you gonna do what you gonna do and it's like I kept looking for her like reaction to that and I was hoping that she'd be like

wah wah little does she know I'm dying I'm dying she breaks the fourth wall to give a big wink and that's when i knew he was the man i was going to marry sure yes mandy moore was the original deadpool yeah just spiking the camera saying something funny yeah um well here's here's mine this mine. Emily, I also kind of like the bad boy portion of this movie a lot. Yeah. I like it when he's being just a petulant little bitch.

And so at the end of this line, this is them like fighting on the bus. And just there's kind of a visual thing in this that really made me laugh really hard. So just imagine at the end of this line, a hard cut to the cover of a Bible. Is this your idea of small talk or something? Because if it is, your social skills need some work. I'm going to force them to jump. It's called peer pressure. And how do you know about that? You read it in a precious book. You read that in your precious book? Hard cut to Bible. This book, did this book tell you about peer pressure, the fucking Bible which I hate because I'm a bad boy.

I bad hate Bible. Bad boy don't like Bible. Bad boy hate Bible. Also, it's kind of like, it's a big Bible too and I'm just like. It's a huge Bible. It's all craggy and old. It's all craggy and old and it takes up her whole lap. Yeah. It's like

when you put it in your backpack. She eats her lunch on it. She just unfolds her sandwich. Yeah. What is the text? A 12 font Times New Roman. Is this double spaced? This is a really big book.

It has pictures. There's pictures. I like her voice too. The way that, can I just mention like how she talks in the beginning of the movie? Like I had a hard time adjusting to it and then i loved her performance so much but she kind of has this thing where it's like you just kind of don't ever move your jaw really and your s's are like pursed

through your lips and i was like yeah there's girls doing this all the time now like there's singers who use this exact like cute girl they're mandy moran they're mandy moran but she's the original cute girl voice i think the original the the originator there were there were no cute girls before mandy moore no less less is mandy moore mandy less is mandy moore sure yeah um well hey we're going to i have a favorite line I'm sorry I don't usually do I hope it's more of that song no no my favorite line

is the only black character in the film says this one line after he's kind of like poking fun at our main character but he's telling him this is clearly a white guy's way of writing cool slang that these days means a completely different thing.

So I'm just going to play it as my favorite line. You know I'm just busting on you, right? I'm going to be there opening night. He says, you know I'm just busting. You know I'm just busting on you. You know I'm just ejaculating on you, friend. You know I'm just busting on you you know i'm just ejaculating on you friend you know i'm just busting on you i don't listen i don't i'm not busting in you i'm not busting on you yeah exactly i'm just saying i listen despite the you know unfortunate meaning now of i'm not just busting on you meaning i'm not just

coming on you yeah um i don't even think back then busting on someone was a thing like well maybe they couldn't say busting your balls maybe saying balls in this movie was just no see that's what i think i think that nicholas sparks wrote this line in the book and he's like how would they say busting your balls oh they probably would say like busting on you and that's my guess it's a white dude trying to do black slang yes exactly

it does not work we're gonna take a little break we're gonna bust on each other and then we're gonna come back and rank this movie on a scale of 1 to 10 super loud commercials after we come back and rank this movie on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials after we come back so We're back. It's Free With Ads.

We're talking about A Walk To Remember. Matt, why don't you go first? I'll go, and then Emily, since you're the expert on this movie, we'll let you have the final word. Okay, yeah. Matt, what'd you think? Two ads. A walk to ads one to ten

super loud commercials you're giving it two I'm giving it a two a walk to forget that's what I would have done had I been a film critic at the time Matt Lieb

Chicago Sun Times a walk to forget more like a walk to forget but no you know listen I didn't absolutely hate it but it was one of those movies that uh if you cut out all of the music scenes in which nothing happens except for brooding

it's about 45 minutes long and i think you yeah it had the big issue of being um stuck on trying to do build up to this cancer reveal that is not a reveal for anyone who knows anything about this movie at all without having seen it so that kind of it ruins the movie the the marketing for this movie ruined the movie so i didn't i spent the whole movie being like just say you have cancer damn it i'm so i i do think this movie has a lot of weird things about it and it has a lot of things wrong with it. But I had a good time watching it in a lot of ways. I think it works as Christian Kitsch.

I love Christian Kitsch. I don't know what that is. I'm talking about a youth group in stores now. So yeah, just like when that is so yeah just like when something is so over the top in Christian you know it becomes kind of like campy in its own way and I think this did and I like the

teen angst stuff I like what a bad boy he is and yeah and it gets a little you know and the cancer stuff is a little wonky and it makes it a little harder to have fun once that starts happening but like I don't know and like the stuff is a little wonky and it makes it a little harder to have fun once that starts happening but like i don't know and like the stuff that works really works well i think i think she is great and i think the character is great i think that like they they made an

interesting like robust character that could just be a cliche but but turns out to be pretty three-dimensional and interesting. It's whack that she's not the main character, but I don't know. I think she does a good job. And she does have that early 2000s singing voice, but she does do a couple songs in the movie, and I think they're really good. And Mandy Moore's a good singer.

So I think if you're a Mandy Moore fan, I think if you're like a Mandy Moore fan, I think if you're like nostalgic for this era or you just kind of like want something kind of like campy that has some laughs. I think this movie works in those ways. So, yeah. I don't know. I had fun. I'm going to go a little high. I'm going to say six.

Six commercials. Nice. Emily, what do you think? All right. commercials nice um what do you think all right so boy the nostalgia that i felt watching this it made me feel like remember feelings of my first like high school love and all that stuff and it i don't know i like that it's kind of you know there is this subtle sexiness to it that's like i don't know it really made my heart go pitter patter and stuff like that. I love the needle drops.

I also think the acting is really good. I remember now that Mandy Moore was in saved. Oh, that. Yeah. And it was so funny. The juxtaposition of that part against this one. Yeah.

Where she's literally playing the caricature of the, like, you know, that whole like bossy Christian girl kind of thing thing from christian camp oh that's so interesting she played both sides like that yes she did the like commentary movie but then the earnest just like straight face yeah so now i'm like well shit i wish that mandy moore but she's still doing stuff yeah but um she's out there but i've i think that this is cool that she did this i guess nicholas sparks i looked him up he also did the notebook so i think tragedy and romance

can kind of go together and for some reason in his books but um so yeah i kind of i i get it the tragedy stuff because like you know it's like if they had stayed, if nobody died, they would have broken up, guys. I'm sorry. I think that's just how I feel. Yeah, they go to different colleges. Yeah, exactly. So I'm going to give it a seven.

I had a lot of fun going back down memory lane with it. It is definitely a nostalgia part that's giving it to me. Plus there there was some like fun cringe there's like some fun the cringe is a blast it's a blast and yeah and i think all the like bad lines there's there's there's there's some fun to be had here so yeah i think this yeah i like i like get why this movie is like a weirdo classic for sure yeah so i was into it um yeah i do i want to watch it again very soon no and i cried i legitimately cried i started crying before she told him that she was sick and then i was just crying throughout it i don't know why it's like it was it did it to me uh well yeah let's uh so that's a walk to remember um oh yeah real quick before we stop um the new radicals reunited on january 20th 2021 to perform you get what you get as the inauguration

as part of the inauguration for joe biden yeah that's right i watched this and i watched this as part of i just went down a little new radicals hole because i like that needle drop so much and yeah and watch that biden inauguration performance i hope you know like like should should should kamala harris get elected i think she needs to reunite another 90s one hit wonder oh semi-son semi-sonic. I was going to say, here's what I want. Here's my dream. Ladies and gentlemen, the next president of the United States, Kamala Harris. Dig through the ditches and burrow through the witches. I am in the back of my cancer girlfriend.

President. I know Rob Zombie had more than one hit. Yeah. Well, I mean, White Zombie had a hit, and Rob Zombie had a hit. Okay. I'm going to need for a different Rob to have a comeback. It's going to need to be Rob Thomas with Santana. Oh.

Certainly to do smooth. Give me a hot mega real. Or else you your presidenta. There's something there. Sure, yeah, something there. We'll workshop it a bit, you guys. Yeah, we'll workshop. No, I think it's fine like it is.

Okay. Hey, let's talk about plugs. Emily, got anything going on? I'm about to start ramping up for the fall line of phlegm gems. It should be coming out in new fall stuff, new colors. It's going to be very bloody and purple. So a lot of purple and red cool shit going to be happening. So I think that's, yeah, my phlegm gems on Etsy.

You can check out my stuff um hey i wanted to let folks know if for some reason uh you're new to the max fun averse um something that we haven't done on this show that i would love to do is jumbotron messages here's what you do you go to maximum fun.org slash jumbotron and if you have a message we will share it with our listeners for a nominal fee very affordable maximumfund.org jumbotron we will wish a friend happy birthday we will say a weird inside joke to your friends who listen to the show we'll plug your album we'll plug your podcast we'll plug your stand-up show maximumfund.org jumbotron very fun very affordable and it helps keep the show going so uh maximum fun.org slash jumbotron and if you're not already a member of max fun maximum

fun.org slash join you can uh become a member and here are bonus episodes okay so we're gonna go out on uh this is the this is the new radicals lead singers uh uh collaboration with hansen that they did after he apologized for slamming them in the song you can kind of tell huh you can kind of tell this dude has like riffs well and you can hear hear the keyboard in the back. That's Taylor. Oh, Taylor. I've been through your best friend today

Twelve nights since you ran away I used to bounce in seconds, say Rules. Yeah, say, yeah Ooh, Taylor. I love his voice so much. It's been a while since I've felt that way I can tell you there's no room to play Taylor. I love his voice so much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go to the next one. I'm gonna go And now when I need you to cure my girlfriend's leukemia, you won't. I just thought, I thought that, no. The auto-tune.

You were supposed to be there for me and my new girlfriend who is dying, and you weren't. Okay. Beautiful. All right, everybody. That's all for us. Tune in next week when our movie will be Point Break. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows.

Supported directly by you. My girlfriend is gonna die Cause she has cancer She didn't tell me And I am mad How come she didn't tell me That she was gonna die Why did we spend all those times Reading those lines I was in a play with her and we kissed but now she's gonna die that's not fair we never had to got to have sex

anything and doesn't matter cause she loves jesus j Jesus Christ is her favorite Even though he struck her with cancer That sucks What's the point of liking Jesus? I'm sad And my dad won't even cure her What the fuck? Dad, won't you cure my girlfriend?

Dad, won't you cure my girlfriend? I knew I couldn't count on you to cure her I came up to your door and I yelled at you You weren't there And now when I need you to cure my girlfriend's leukemia You won't As fuck What the fuck, Dad? No You were supposed to be there for me and my new girlfriend is dying and you weren't. And I, I hate you, but at the end of the movie You're gonna redeem yourself

Sort of Anyways Um I fucking hate you dad You're such a little bitch And I hope that someday I stab you in the wrist, bitch. I hate you, dad.

You're the worst, dad. You're the worst, dad. Since, um, twice that dad. Whoa. Anyways. There's not much. You know what? I'm fading out.