Free With Ads - Dick Tracy

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

This week the Free With Ads podcast finally found our white whale! The 1990 Warren Beatty comic book epic "Dick Tracy" starring some of the best actors in the world wearing some of the worst makeup in the world. Matt Lieb's sister's house burned down in the Altadena fire. If you can, please donate to her GoFundMe.Emily Fleming is on cameo now!Jordan will be at Pasadena Comic Con on January 26th so get your tickets now!We are excited to announce that Free With Ads will be doing our first ever LIVE SHOW at San Francisco Sketchfest 2025! We will be talking about the movie TWILIGHT! Join Jordan, Emily, producer Matt Lieb, and guest comedian Shanna Christmas at the Punch Line in San Francisco on January 23rd at 7:30pm for a live show you will never forget. Get your tickets NOW!Free With Ads merch is finally here! Go to the MaxFun store now and buy something for yourself!

This This is Free With Ads, the podcast that asks the question, why pay max 10 bucks a month for a bunch of comic book movies when you can go online for free and watch a movie about the original comic book hero who doesn't need a bunch of CGI superpowers because he's got a really cool watch. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is Dick Tracy, one of the many movies that prove that there's nothing 90s kids love more than references to the 1940s noir movies and silent film serials. And with as always is super producer Matt swarming us with carnivorous drops. I want them dead! I was positive today's drop was going to be mumbles.

Baby I did it. Baby I did it. I considered it. I considered it. But I love me some Pacino. Especially a Yelly Pacino. A Yelly Pacino. Yeah, when we did The Godfather, I think we were all kind of like interested

in the fact... Who's this guy? Yeah, who's this small, subtle, internal, quiet actor who's acting all in his face, and then like, this is the Pacino of our childhood. Did it start here? Did his being insane in every movie start with this? Did he like, I love to be a big boy, it's all I'm gonna do.

I think he tried it out with Scarface and then this cemented it. Oh, you're right, yeah, Scarface. But this is what really the comical, screamy show. Yeah, it's weird because I know he's playing a character that's supposed to be big, but I'm like, that's just what Pacino does. Like he wasn't overacting, it wasn't like,

oh this is a parody, I was like no, that's literally what he does. He's just like, and she had a great ass! That's like his whole thing. It's like he's doing this character from Heat, but he's doing it as a joke here. Right, right, he's like, I think I'll do it like this. It's serious movies In this movie though. It looks like they glued his eyelids open. I didn't see a blink once

Well, I don't a glue involved in this movie This movie and we'll talk about it in just a second But before we keep talking about dick Tracy, we're gonna talk about it in just a second, but before we keep talking about Dick Tracy, we're gonna talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week. Other free stuff. This is a movie related news item that I read on MSN.com, my source for news.

I'm always hanging out on MSN.com. I love it, it's my homepage. Oh, it's a great place to go for all the latest. It's got news and other things. Sure. I love my news and my stocks. Right, Matt, if you've got your news and your stocks you're happy. What else do you need? Family and love. Yeah, and movie times. Sure, yeah. Well, this is actually a movie-related news item. It is National Popcorn Day coming up on the 19th. So the theater chain Cinemark is doing a promotion, and this is the headline about the promotion,

anything can be a popcorn bucket with the Bring Your Own Bucket promo from Cinemark. So you guys know how on free Slurpee Day they just do a thing where you can fill anything with Slurpee day, they just do a thing where you can fill anything with Slurpee? Yeah. So it's like you see these viral photos of these like 14 year old scumbags bringing an aquarium into the 7-Eleven.

I beat the system. Now I have Slurpee all day. Yeah. This isn't gonna get disgusting in 40 minutes. These kids get swarmed with bees as soon as they come out. Yeah. So they're now gonna try this with popcorn at Cinemark theaters. Okay. Wow.

Anything can be a bucket, huh? If you bring it in for five bucks on January 19th, they have to fill it with popcorn. No fucking questions asked. Anything? Is it free? Is it free popcorn? It's five bucks. Okay.

So, you know, pretty good price as far as movie theater popcorn goes. Very good. Very good price. Very reasonable. But they have to fill it no matter what. They have to fill it. And here's my... Okay.

Do you guys remember the Double Dare pants? Oh, yes. Yes, yes. Do you remember the Nickelodeon remember the Double Dare pants? Oh yes, yes, yes. Do you remember the Nickelodeon game show, Double Dare? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You had to fit all that slop in there. I don't know what that was. Like, what was that?

I'm gonna say, if we can, we're in Los Angeles. There has to be a props department somewhere that has old props. If someone can find me the giant pants from Double Dare that dad would wear and then get Filled with slop I would love to walk in wearing the fucking pants and just say fill these with popcorn. It's a bucket I mean and then just reach into my pants during a showing of Nosferatu We're in the biz someone's gotta know Mark Summers

Well, I mean this is what's interesting to me, because now the the movie popcorn buckets that are associated with the movie, the merch items are getting more and more ridiculous. The Nosferatu is just like a coffin for a baby. And then they put popcorn in it. And I'm like, that's not a bucket. That's sad. Have you guys seen that movie? Yes, I saw it. No I'm like, that's not a bucket. Yeah. That's sad.

Have you guys seen that movie? Yes. I saw it. No, I still haven't. I mean, spoiler alert, spoiler alert, spoiler alert. There is a baby coffin in the movie. So like that is kind of grim. You think they knew that when they were making the merch popcorn bucket? Or they were just like, no, we meant small, I could see now why we're in trouble. It's just for a little vampire.

It's not for a baby that the vampire killed. Yeah, to be fair, the baby is still, is undead, but alive in a sense. Yeah, I should, I think it would have been great for my American Girl doll. I should have gotten the bucket. Aw, yeah. For when you finally lay it to rest. You just bury it in the backyard. Well, I'm giving her new identities.

I'm trying to mix up her wardrobe and things. Anyway, I do want to get the coffin for my American Girl doll, but now people buy them up and then they put them on eBay for $300. Really? Yes. Oh my God. They're big what collectors items now Is it is the is the is the big one still the dune butthole?

I think that's what started the kind of craze with all of it like I think it's been happening a while But people started getting more excited about it, and they all seem cumbersome and not Like usable like the dune popcorn bucket looks like it would rip your fucking hand off after you bring it out. Right. How do you get the popcorn? That's double dare pants. Exactly.

I'm telling you, that's why double dare pants are the best bucket. You just reach in like you're about to scratch your balls, but you're not. You're getting juicy popcorn. Yeah, that's what it was. I love juicy popcorn. They were going through... Give me the juice. They were going through... It was slime, but there were dollar bills in it.

And they were like having to find the stuff and then just put it in their pants. God, what a blast from the past. That's crazy. Well, yeah, okay. If anybody, listen, if anybody has a window on a dune popcorn bucket or some giant pants, let us know, free with ads at maximumfun.org. Hey, we're going gonna talk about Dick Tracy. This is kind of fun because I feel like we've been talking

about it constantly on the show. Every time there's a craggy looking man in a movie, we say he looks like a Dick Tracy villain. And now we get to actually watch Dick Tracy. Yes! Emily, what was your relationship to this movie growing up? My dad, and I think my granddad, my dad's dad, I think we went to go see this together, and I do remember the villains being scary to me, but I also remember it feeling very

glamorous and like cool. I remember the colors were cool, but every time the villains would be on screen, I'd be like, I can't wait for this scene to be over. And in particular, the Dustin Hoffman mumble character is the most terrifying nightmare fuel I've ever seen in my life. If you have not watched this movie, I'm sure you've seen the villains at some point online. They're kind of memes. They are just, they're under all these wild prosthetics. It's people like Prune Face and Little Face.

Which they all look like Prune Face. Yeah, they could all, that's a great point, Emily. These people could all be Prune Face. It fits them all. So yeah, they all look like, they're all under this kind of crazy practical makeup. It looks really cool, but very scary. I'm sure we all, yeah, I think I was like eight

when this movie came out. And yeah, this is like, I think marketed as a kids movie, but I think it is too old for anyone over 55, I'm gonna say. I think that's the, anyway, but I was, I saw this a ton of times. I was obsessed with this. We had her on VHS.

I loved it, I loved it. Matt, did you see it? Now that I think about it, I was probably too young to see this. Oh, sure, yes. Everyone is too young to with this. We had her on VHS. I loved it. I loved it. Now that I think about it, I was probably too young to see this. Oh, sure. Yes. Everyone is too young to see this. I was four or five. Yeah, so I saw this at a drive-in theater

and I saw it at the same age as you, Emily. You know, this is like five or six. And it was mostly horrifying because it was like the scariest looking bad guys a child could imagine with sub machine guns. And it was also, it was like, what if it was scary? And also played like one of those old movies my parents watches.

So it was like, everything about it was strange to me and then also it was too sexy for me. I was like, I'm out. I can't take this much Madonna. I'm just a boy. I mean, I'm a Tess Trueheart girl myself. I think that one of the most beautiful looking characters I've ever seen. I mean, I'm a Tess Trueheart girl myself. I think that's one of the most beautiful looking characters I've ever seen.

There's a lot of dyads in pop culture. You know, Marianne Ginger, Betty Veronica, Tess Trueheart and oh God, what's Madonna's name? Breathless Mahoney. Yes, Breathless Mahoney. I don't remember her saying her name once. Someone says it at some point, for sure. And I remember going like, that's Madonna's name in this?

All right, fine. So this movie, I think we've all been kind of like- Should've been Tone Death Mahoney, sorry. I think we've all kind of been like, looking for this movie, because I think it was very big to like, people around our age. It was very in pop culture.

And then it kind of just disappeared. They never made a sequel. It didn't really play on cable that much. Did it do well? Didn't it bomb? So I think what happened, if Wikipedia is to be believed, it did really well, but they wanted it to be Batman. So Batman was the year before this.

Hence the Danny Elfman music in this movie that sounds exactly like the fucking Batman music. This is Danny Elfman? Yeah, so Danny Elfman did the score and all the songs that Madonna sings are done by Stephen Sondheim. Stephen fucking Sondheim. It is the most. They're great too.

I love the songs in this. It is so stacked in every sense. Like the cast is stacked, the music is stacked. Too stacked, if you ask me. Yeah. Yeah, I know, some people are in it for- Madonna is stacked. For like one line.

And there are some famous people with no lines in this movie. Catherine O'Hara is in it. Catherine O'Hara. At the table. Yeah, she's gotta have a cut scene or something. Anyway, so yeah. Dustin Hoffman is unintelligible for most of the movie. And a nightmare.

But then also, who's the who's the guy from Misery? James Conn, James Conn in this. Yeah, a little a little Godfather reunion. James Conn just like gets up and leaves the room and his car blows up. Yeah, the James Conn, though, when I saw him, because he had like prosthetics on that weren't necessary in any way. He just looked like he was a little bit, he was like James Kahn in a little bit of 3D. Yeah, he looked like James Kahn Sr.

He was just a little bit older. Yeah, they put more silly putty on his face. I don't know, but I thought he was Robert De Niro at first because of that silly putty on his face. Oh, that would have been sick. And I went, this is rad, and then it was him. I'm putty head, I'm prosth his face. Oh, that would have been sick. And I went, this is rad. And then it was him. I'm putty head. I'm prosthetic face.

Yeah. So I think there's just been weird rights things with this movie because Warren Beatty owns the character and never did anything with it. But I guess a couple times a year to retain the rights to the character, he has to appear on film somehow as Dick Tracy. Really? And then no one else can make a Dick Tracy movie. Yeah, there's been a couple good podcasts

that have gone into this in a really fun way. Podcast The Ride with a guest with, Eve Anderson is the guest, did something on this, and the great podcast Decoder Ring does a deep dive on this. It's really interesting. Ooh. So, Warren Beatty, to keep the rights to Dick Tracy,

does a special on Turner Classic movies as him, once every couple years, and it only airs once and then it disappears, but they've all been like, uploaded to YouTube. They're really fucking weird, there's one where he just gets interviewed by Leonard Malton. I have a clip from how weird these things are. Matt, can you play a little bit of this? I think he thinks they're funny.

Alright. I'm going to be 107 in July. No. Yes. No. Yeah. 107? 107.

That is amazing. Yeah. Do you have some secret you can share with everybody? SP. Small portions. Small portions. And exercise. And, of course, pomegranate.

Once in a while, you know, I'll have a blueberry. Nobody ever went wrong with our friend the blueberry. Shall we begin? Yes, Dick Tracy's famous line, there's nothing wrong with our friend the blueberry. I'm not even sure he remembers the character. Yeah. He's like, all I know is I kind of got a man in the yellow hat type vibe.

Yeah, he has the hat. He has the coat in these and he's just goofing around with littered Malton and now no one can else can make Dick Tracy movies until he dies. I love that. Well, honestly, does anyone want to? Who gives a shit? What I don't understand is that, if this were copyright infringement, you know what I mean?

Like if it was like, now no one can do, but it's like, it's a copyrighted character. It doesn't have to give permission in order for him to, for other people to do the character. This just all seems like an excuse to every couple of years talk to Leonard Moulton, which I'm sure he could do over a cup of coffee. Right.

Or just that he is Dick Tracy, and he's hoping to go down in history as the only Dick Tracy after the sixth, because there was a series in the 50s and stuff, but like a TV series. Yeah, so there's been like filmed Dick Tracy stuff in the past, but it hadn't been around for a long time. He was a Dick Tracy, a newspaper strip comic character.

So he was like in the newspaper. Yeah, so I guess there's Warren Beatty always wanted to play him and now just like doesn't want to live to see anybody else do it. I'm sure as soon as he dies, the next day it's like, Glenn Powell, Glenn Powell is Dick Tracy. It's gonna happen. Fuck shit.

Honestly, I think that this is a, I saw something on Google about like, you know, theories of people who could bring it back. And I think John, what's his, John Hamm. Oh my God. Yeah, John Hamm would be a good Dick Tracy. John Hamm would be a good Dick Tracy. John Ham would be the hottest Dick Tracy ever.

And it's hard to put him in stuff because he does, John Ham looks like he belongs in a specific time period. He doesn't look like he belongs in 2025. Yeah, he's too handsome for modern days. Yeah, I think it would have to be a period thing. Yeah, because I think every time John Hamm tries to play an FBI agent or something, it's like, what's this guy doing?

Yeah, this guy's too hot. Smartphone before. Yeah, it looks like there were a lot of Dick Tracy movies in the 30s and 40s. Yeah, I think they were like serials that played before movies. Cool. Like you got a little episode of Dick Tracy.

Well yeah, the character's been around a long time. This has been the only kind of recent filmed thing with him. Yeah, let's actually talk about the movie. So we start with a close-up of a cop radio. There's a crime going on. And then we see someone grabbing their iconic cop stuff, a badge, a gun, and a watch. Yeah, Dick Tracy had a watch.

Coolest watch. With a little screen in it. Oh, although maybe this doesn't have the screen yet. Maybe this just has, it's like a two-way radio. It just looked like one of those things on the wall back in the day that would be like, you know, a paging, whatever. It just looks like, you know, in the school.

Yeah, sure. Yeah, like the speaker. Yeah, it's like a gold speaker. But I did, we have a new sting about film tech. And I think this belongs in this. Big film tech. I just remember this watch being like a big deal. Like it was a cool thing. Yeah and it's really pretty and I

don't know I love it. Everything in this movie is so stylish and cool. It did look like to me as soon as it started in the like credits at the beginning or whatever it looks like Sin City if it was in color kind of. Yeah this movie has a really great aesthetic there's a lot of like hand painted backgrounds. A little bit Cool World, huh? A little, you know, a little Cool World. Totally, totally. Yeah, I know, I think Cool World,

Cool World are like, we'll give you Dick Tracy at a third of the budget. Yeah, yeah. No one will know. Yes, Dick Tracy crawled so that, you know, so that Cool World could run. Exactly, yes. So yeah, they yes so yeah, they

So yeah, everything looks really cool in this movie, and yeah, it's great to see like a comic book thing where they don't run From the comics they were like excited about them. You know they want it to look like the comics I think like the great modern example of this is into the spider-verse right that like looks like you're fucking reading a comic book And it's so cool Yeah, so it's it's kind of shitty when they like adapt a comic and they're like, let's not make it remind anyone of the character Let's not make it look like that because comics are lame like so very cool. The look of this movie is totally awesome Yeah, and so Dick Tracy he knows about this crime and he's gotta go stop it and then we see and he's gotta go stop it. And then we see a little orphan kid known as The Kid

and he's sneaking around, he's a little orphan, he's a sneaking pocket pickin' orphan and he finds a poker game full of mobsters. That's right, they're a bunch of mobsters having a poker game, you know they're a mean bunch, one of them like picks up a cat and throws it. I don't remember that part. Oh yeah.

I remember any time something bad happens to a cat and you're cataloging it. You're like, oh, that's how I know you're bad guys. Oh, dang, there should be another sting. Because we see the cats we see like from Black Christmas. There's like things where like, I hope that cat's going to be OK. A spoiler alert for Nosferatu.

The cat's OK at the end of Nosferatu, I really appreciated that. Oh yeah, that's right. I was like, that cat's gone for. Oh yeah, me too, me too. I'm like, that cat's dying a very painful and erotic death. Yeah, but it's steady wit for the human children. Sure. I think that was fine.

Yeah, get those kids, stuff them into little popcorn coffins. Why is that so funny? So, yeah, this kid's watching this poker game. There's a bunch of creepy faced villains there, including Little Face. He's got a little tiny face on a big head. Hey, nobody can say about a guy with a little face, don't you? I do not.

Me either. Little teeth. Little teeth, little tiny teeth. Little glasses. The funny thing is like. Little teeth. Little tiny teeth. Little glasses. The funny thing is like. And a big dick. Fatty cock. Fatty cock.

Little face, thick dick. I really, Jordan, I really, really hope that you've got a list of villains names. You know what? I wanted, here's what I wanted to do list wise. And maybe if there's demand Maybe I'll do this in a future episode. I wanted to do a list of deleted Madonna names for this I didn't get around to it because of world events sure, but maybe for a future episode

We will unearth a clip of all the deleted Madonna names. Yes, that sounds great. I love that. Yeah, but yeah, a lot of good weird names. I didn't know the names of all these things. Like, Prune Face, I heard that and went, yeah. And then Mumbles, you heard it before he started talking and then it was funny at first and then you, I was, if that thing is... Kind of keeps going, huh?

The more it kept going the more terrifying it was yeah well the more mad I was getting because I was like can we give Dustin Hoffman some lines he's Dustin fucking Hoffman I know I he probably had some lines if you know what I mean before you know what I mean Yeah, do you know what I mean? Little face, big dick. But you know what's interesting is that little boy, he's from A Hook. Yes, dude, he's from everything in the 90s. What about Bob?

What about Bob? He was in A Hook. This is one of the most interesting careers. And he's with Dustin Hoffman in the same movie again. Yes. So his name is Charlie Cosmo. Do you guys want me to tell you about his post acting career? I was a little I was thinking about this. He's a Republican and he's kind of I don't know. You go for it. You can say crypto. If it's crypto I don't want to hear

about it. Okay. Okay. So listen, he might yes, he might be a Republican, but he did. He earned a degree in physics from MIT. He has worked for the EPA and for, yes, the Republican Party. And he received his Juris Doctor degree from Yale Law School in 2006. This guy earned a degree in physics from MIT and from Yale Law School. He is a Jur in physics from MIT and from Yale Law School. He is a jurist doctor.

Incredible. And also in May 2011, it was announced that Corzinell had been nominated by President Barack Obama as a member of the Board of Trustees of the Barry Goldwater Scholarship in Excellence in Education. So, you know, it's a bipartisan thing, I assume. But I mean, listen, for a child actor to do something like that, I mean, that's pretty great. Sure. I mean, he's probably the best, I'd say, crier that I've seen. Oh my God.

In the 90s movies. Great at crying. It breaks your heart every time. He just really breaks your heart. He's so cute. This kid just wants you to come to his fucking T-ball game. Why can't you come to his T-ball game? He didn't even try. He was there.

Why do you love your job and your office so much? So good. God, I wanna watch Hook now, man. Oh yeah. You always want stuff. You're just like, I want a cookie, I wanna watch Hook now, man. Oh yeah. Hook. You always want stuff. You're just like, I want a cookie, I want a party, I want a stay up, I want, I want, I want me, me, me, me, me, mine, mine, mine, now, now, now.

Damn, Matt, that was like amazing. You're a real hook head over there. I'm a real hook head. When my wife and I were discussing whether or not to have kids, that is what I said. I was like, I'm tired of living just for myself. It's like, oh, I want a cookie. I want a potty. I want, I want.

Me, me, mine. I like, never let me blow bubbles in my chocolate milk. I want a new sting for the podcast. I want you to make a little song where Godzilla roars. Now, now, now, now. So yeah, so the kid sees all this mob stuff go down and Dick Tracy gets a call on the watch. He's at the opera with Tess Trueheart. Tess Trueheart, Dick Trace's girlfriend

in this, long-suffering girlfriend. I really like this gag with the opera. He's like, I'll be right back. I want to know how it turns out. Then he comes back to the opera to see how it ended. I think the humor in this movie, there's a lot of funny ideas, but I don't think they're done right all the time, but there's a lot of neat ideas in this. Anyway, and I love this opera thing. So somebody breaks into that poker game, kills all the gangsters, they write out, Eat Lead Tracy on the wall in machine gun bullets.

And then we go to Madonna, Breathless Mahoney. She's singing a song written by Stephen Sondheim. Do you guys know I was an end of the woods in high school that started my Stephen Sondheim fandom? God, that's a hard musical. Oh yeah, so I was the narrator, so I only had to talk sing. So I only had to talk sing. I didn't have to hit a note.

That's great. I just had to do talking and say it kind of in rhythm. That rules. Thank you, I am, it was very good. Anyway, but Stephen Sondheim, the fucking best. She's singing and there's a gross guy eating oysters. Oh my God, the eating in this movie is fucking disgusting. Does Walter hate eating?

Oh, Paul Sorvino, you're right, yeah. This guy's a mobster. this movie is fucking disgusting. Does Walter Ravino hate eating? Yeah. Oh, Paul Sorvino, you're right, yeah. This guy's a mobster. In this movie, you're either a mobster or a cop or a woman. You're one of three things. He's a mobster, of course. The cops come in and they drag him

and Breathless Mahoney out, but wait, they're not cops, they're actually mobsters. They're one of the three things. So they're kidnapped. Dick Tracy starts chasing the kid around. The kid stole a watch. He goes to, like, the kid is, like, the pickpocket ward of, like, a scumbag. It might be his dad. They never really explain it.

So Dick Tracy kind of fights this guy. There's a really funny shot of him fighting the guy, and they're in, like, a little shack, and then there's a big wide shot of the shack and it's just like shaking around while they're fighting. There's some good like visual jokes like that in this. So yeah, so Jake Tracy is kind of like, you know, like in charge of this kid now. He wants to set him on the right path. So back at the kind of mobster story Al Pacino makes this guy, Paul Sorvino, sign over the deed to his club and then he douses him in cement. It's called, what is it called?

They call it something. It's called like, oh, the bath, the bath. The bath, yeah, yeah. That is truly terrifying. It is, it's totally terrifying. Well, it's, like, cause that means you are just drowning and slowly, like, you're being buried alive in cement. Like, that's like because that means you are just drowning and slowly like you're being buried alive in cement Like that's worse than sand. No, totally. I know yeah. Yeah

It was and it's played in this way where it's like, well, isn't this ridiculous? But as a kid, I was just like wait, how are they killing this guy? Why am I watching this and why why are we in a fucking car? Yeah. Well, also, like, but also like Roger Rabbit with the dipping into acid. Oh my God. It was like, they thought, ah, these kids are tough.

They could take it. Like, and they just kind of. Speaking of hook, the boo box. Oh yeah, the boo box, another one. Another one that was like freaky as fuck. And there was the they acted. It's weird because these are things that I think every kid who watched these movies as kids remembers and the adults didn't even it wasn't even a second thought.

They were like, oh, yeah, it's like, no, these are forever nightmares. These are formative memories you are creating. But it did up the stakes. It did make things more urgent, and it did help the story along in a way. But that, yeah, that cement thing was really terrible. Freaky, very freaky. So this is all kind of being orchestrated by Al Pacino,

big boy, he's killing off all the other mobsters. And then we, so he got this guy's, the deed to this guy's club, he got through this kidnapping scheme. There is a great, what follows is such a funny little scene. So he talked about wanting to be in show business, and then they cut to him actually like directing Madonna and her dancers in this. This is such a funny idea of this guy wanting a club to be in show business.

Like, oh no, he actually wants to direct them. He's being like a weird asshole about it, but like, it's, I don't know, a really funny idea and Al Pacino is being like really funny in this scene. I don't know, I kind of got some PTSD because I've had a job where the person who was funding the thing would show up and like hate everything and yell at us. This is exactly that. This is exactly that. Like the money guy gets to have his say. Yes. It just felt very real. It's a fun thing about doing a podcast is you don't have one of those. You have a thousand of them.

And they all have opinions. They'll email you about it. And you know what? We love your opinions. And we love them. We love it. Free with that at maximumfun.org. Tell us that we're not addressing the plight of the sperm whale enough on the show. Yes, please. You have a thing and we're not talking about it, and you're mad because you want us to talk about your thing.

Feel free about being mad at me for not liking bats. I'm sorry. I don't like bats. Yeah. Geez, Louise. I really thought people were going to come down on me for the radiohead stuff. I don't... No, everyone agrees. You guys were real nice to me.

The music in this is great, but I think there is a better Dick Tracy related song in 1961 there's a garage rock band called the chance and they released a song about Dick Tracy who was just you know like in these serials and in you know newspaper comics It fucking rules it the strokes should have covered it in 2005 Matt, do you have a little clip of this? I sure do. ["Dig Tracy"] He's got a bulldog jowling. Dig Tracy. Why, he's the arm of the law. Dig Tracy.

Well, he can prove what they say. Crab doesn't never pay. Yeah. Now who's the guy who always seems to keep the schools? I mean, come on. That's amazing. Fucking great song. Anyway. That rules. That's amazing. Fucking great song. Anyway. That rules.

That really rocks. They should have had Madonna sing that for this movie. Or at the very least. It would have been, De tre si. The very least they should have had Godzilla roaring behind in the back. I wonder what that would sound like.

Oh my God. I wonder what that would sound like. I want to hear Godzilla now, now, now. Now, mine, mine. I love all the emails are gonna be that forever. So that's okay. Emily, I think you bring up a good point for us to talk about this.

I feel like Madonna got so much shit after this movie for being a bad actor. Is Madonna bad at this? Oh no, no, that wasn't the problem. What do you think the issue was? Has Madonna always been a bad singer? Oh, I don't know. I love the songs in this,

so I'm not judging them objectively. I just really like them. So maybe she, yeah, I mean, she's maybe like more personality than she is talent. Not a bad singer. I think she can carry a tune, but a very specific singer. Yes, she's a very specific singer.

Lounge singer, she is not. I mean, it was, okay, there's some people that don't know how to have like, vibrato. Like you know, Matt, and I know. And so instead of like actually having vibrato, they'll go, like that. Yeah. Yeah. Like like they're a Tommy gun in the back of their throat. And that's what she does. Like she's not.

And then it was just rough. I just remember going, I love Madonna and I love some of her music. And then I started listening. Ray of Light is my favorite album by her. And I started listening to it and I was like, oh no She's always been bad. Like I don't know. It's like yeah, I feel bad for saying that she's very specific I thought her acting in this was good. Honestly. Yeah, I thought she was fine as an actress I yeah, the acting was great Madonna is good in this movie. I think Warren Beatty is bad in this

Oh, yeah, I think Warren Beatty is bad in this movie. Yeah! I think Warren Beatty is doing nothing. Like if you look, I mean, so hard not to compare this to Batman. Like Michael Keaton fucking makes all these wild choices for Batman. He makes it such a funny, weird, interesting character. And, you know, obviously this is a different thing, but he just lets the fucking jacket do the work Warren Beatty is doing and then Everything is so underwritten in this movie. No one has any backstory. You're just supposed I it feels like you're watching Dick Tracy 5 like

They don't introduce anyone no one has a history and I think Warren Beatty like this movie looks so cool and obviously he had such a vision for how it could look, but he's doing jack shit in it. I mean his face is doing some work too. He's very handsome, handsome man. He looks fucking great. Well in comparison to all the people with the putty on their face.

That's very true, but he's not my hunk watch by the way. Oh, this is gonna be an interesting hunk watch. I can't imagine what it is. We'll get there when we get there. We'll get there when we get there. So Dick Tracy, there's the thing of him adopting the kid. He takes the kid around, they get him some new clothes. That's really cute.

Cute, loved it. The kid's hungry all the time. He's a little orphan. He just eats, eats, eats. I loved this as a kid. I loved the idea of just being able to eat wherever I, you know, whenever I wanted to. When do we eat?

That's what the kids like a little patch face. When do we eat? And of course all the eating is disgusting because apparently Warren Beatty hates food. He just thinks that it's foul that we humans would stuff protein into our mouths. You swine. He's also the only customer at that diner.

That diner is empty all the time. The owner of that diner is the other man, like the other type of man. There's either, you're either a cop. Business owner. Yeah, there is a business owner. Worker man. Worker man, man who work.

Yeah. So yeah, they give the kid a baseball glove. That's really cute. He tries in the diner, in the diner where he's the only customer. He tries to propose to Tess, but he can't get it out. Well no, he tries to propose to her in the car first.

Yeah, so that's kind of a little running thing of this. He wants to ask Tess to marry him, and he can't do it, and he's obsessed with his job. They're both kind of lone wolves. I think that's a really interesting little relationship is they both kind of like, we're fine like this, right?

This is fine. They're both kind of like modern. I don't think I know what Tess's job is, but I think it's implied that she loves, yes, her job is woman. Yeah, her job is woman. She goes to the woman factory. Nice work if you can get it.

Yeah. Being a woman, it's such a boys club. That's why I can't. Yeah. But she constantly says, I like living alone. But then she kind of is longingly, she wants him to ask him to marry her. But I think that's the truth about all marriage. The fantasy of getting married and the ring and the whole thing, I want it so bad.

And then all the other stuff, no, I could, no. You know that- I don't need it. You can be married and not necessarily have to sleep in the same bed. Did you guys know that? I definitely think that's a good idea. I think having separate, I snore real bad.

It's bad. I think I might have sleep apnea. I don't know how you find out if you have it or not. Oh, it's a whole thing you have to do. You gotta do a test, they'll send you a thing. They'll send you a thing, you gotta sleep with it, it monitors you. Mail them the thing.

Good luck sleeping with this goddamn thing in your nose. I'd rather just die in my sleep. That's how I feel. What a way to go. My body wants it. Who am I? What am I, God? Yeah, exactly. This is God's plight for me.

God's plan. Yeah, yeah, just fold me up into a little cube and put me in a baby coffin. Fill it with popcorn for five bucks. Fill it with popcorn and yeet me into the ocean. There you go. I don't know. Oh, to be yeeted. Oh, I would love to be ye you go. Oh, to be yeeted.

Oh, I would love to be yeeted. I would love to be yeeted. Wouldn't that be great? Okay, so he can't do it, he can't propose a test. This mob war's going on. Big Boy calls in like all the other mobs. There's Prune Face, Catherine O'Hara's there as Texi Garcia, I don't know if they ever say that

or if I just looked it up on Wikipedia. She has no lines. It's weird. Yeah, that's where we get James Kahn's little cameo. And then the mobsters, they kidnapped Dick Tracy and they put him in this like, they put him in the basement of Tessa's apartment and they're going to like blow up the boiler. The kid saves him. And then we get like Madonna breaking into his office. So he and Madonna have this thing.

She just is so crazy hot for him. She comes in. And you're not sure why necessarily, other than he's Dick Tracy. And obviously he's super handsome and looks great. So that's probably just the explanation for it. Well, you kind of find out, I guess, a little bit of why at the end. Oh yeah, maybe you do. She's a femme fatale, and femme fatales

are always manipulative and tricky, and they have ulterior motives that are not seen until the end. Yeah, and I think that's a big part of this movie, is there's a lot of shorthand, right? Because it's such a mishmash of genres. It's like, well, this is happening because this happens in these movies. And I think, obviously it's like super entertaining

and works in a lot of ways. So sometimes that's fine, but sometimes you're like, why is this happening? Anyway, she comes in, she's eating an ice cream. Emily, there's a very erotic ice cream scene. What happens in this? It's not that erotic actually. But it's this scene when she breaks into Dick Tracy's

office, Madonna's character, she does this thing where she climbs up on his desk and it's not even very feline. It's just kind of she's What's it like planking? I don't know. It was kind of like There's like a fucking I don't know yoga pose where you just kind of get on all fours and sit there and it was like she's trying to kind of flirt with them and then Tess true heart and the boy come in and she's got two ice cream cones and she walks in and sees all this they're like Make it out. Yeah

Also, like there's a point in the movie where Madonna comes in his office and she's just holding a glass full of champagne I'd like the idea of her walking through town and through and she's just holding a glass full of champagne. I like the idea of her walking through town and through this office building, just holding a glass of champagne. Don't spill, don't spill. I mean, that's Barry Rihanna. Oh yeah, you're right. Yeah, Rihanna with, I mean, that's,

if I could do that, I would do it, but it's fucking dry January, I can't do shit. You gotta walk around with a mocktail. I got a Sprite Zero, that's what I, and my stomach hurts, y'all. It hurts. Oh, man. I'm drinking too many of these sprite zeros.

Quick, go to a bar and get $17 juice. Yeah. Just in terms of that scene, I felt a little bit miffed that at no point did the girlfriend character, what's her name, True Heart? Tess True Heart. Tess Trueheart. Tess Trueheart. Great name.

Ever addressed the I caught you kissing another woman thing? Yeah, she just kind of lets it slide. And maybe that's, I mean they are such a modern couple, maybe they're just like, all right, okay, you know. Maybe they're poly. She leaves. She does leave, but she's leaving because of, like she never directly addresses that being, you know, something that happened.

And so he never gets to have that moment where he's like, I can't believe this happened. I'm so sorry. It just moving on. And I'm like, yo, that is going to fester and this is going to doom the relationship. That is the being a cool girl thing, and it's like, it don't work, man. There should be a scene of them at their couples therapist. Yeah.

It's another ghastly looking motherfucker with way too much putty on his face. He should have giant ears because he's such a great listener. Oh no, he'll be shrink face. Oh, there we go, yeah. And his face just shrinks throughout the session. How does that make you feel?

Just that over and over. It's played by M. Emmett Walsh. Wow. Emmett Walsh is underneath all that makeup. Everyone's in this. That'll be a five dollar copay. When do we eat? Shrink face. That's not your catchphrase.

I'm taking it. Anyway, so there's this other kind of little plot going on. There's a villain called No-Face. No-Face, it's a villain with no face. Kind of looks like the DC character, the Question, if people know the question. It's just got two slits for eyes or whatever. Two weird slits. Sort of Rorschach vibes.

A little Rorschach. Rorschach. Oh yeah. Rorschach. And he is like blackmailing the piano player at the bar. 88 Keys, fucking great names, played by Mandy Patinkin. Mandy fucking Patinkin's in this. Mandy Patinkin. See? Patinkin's in this.

See, and he has a song with Madonna, and this was like a single, there's like a music video of them singing that song together. It is fucking great, Mandy Patinkin. I just wanna say, Mandy Patinkin singing with Madonna, where Mandy Patinkin is like an amazing singer, and it's done Broadway, and I was just watching him sing with Madonna, and I could see his soul start to die a little bit

While he was singing with her Because he's so good and then it was like come on Madonna find it find the note Find that why isn't this Carol Channing? I wonder what it sound like Song all the songs to Dick Tracy. Hmm, anyway. And then their friend Godzilla came in. Anyway, I don't know what that would sound like.

Carol, quiet down. It's Godzilla's turn. Yeah. Yeah. That's my Carol Channing. Yeah. I'm gonna go fight Mothra. Beautiful.

Beautiful. So that's how you get to the end of the show. Carol Channing. Yeah. I'm gonna go fight Mothra. Beautiful. Beautiful. So that's happening. There's this kind of like reverse plot to blackmail Big Boy. Dick Tracy gets thrown in jail. And there's a kind of a funny shot of him. He's just in jail in his suit. He's just wearing his suit in jail, I kinda like that. But he gets busted out and he's gonna take down Big Boy at his big New Year's Eve party, which we're gonna talk about right after this. ["Sweet Home Alone"] It's Free With Ads and we have something very exciting for you, a Jumbotron. What's a Jumbotron you ask?

Well, here's what happens. One of our listeners goes to maximumfund.org slash Jumbotron. They pay a nominal fee and then we, me, Emily and Matt, that's who we is, we share that message with our other listeners. It can be any old thing. It could be a, we'll plug your band, we'll plug your podcast. You wanna wish somebody a happy birthday.

You just wanna tell us the show is good. We love that too. Yeah, or you wanna just say Matt's hot. You wanna say Matt, yes, if you would like the world to know that that's hot. If you want to pay to say that I'm hot, that's fine. Totally fine. Maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron. But you should know I'm married. You should. I know. Don't expect anything.

You can still think that you're hot even though you're poor. Yes, you still can and you should. Listen, if you want to do a public version of Fuck, Marry, Kill with the three of us, maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron. Hey, this message is from Sam and Rachel. Sam and Rachel write, Check out my wife Casey's designs on T-Public under Add Glitter, Art and Designs to get shirts, stickers, et cetera.

I just want, and this is the message, this is them speaking, this is not me. I just want my wife, Casey, to know, yeah. Oh, should I do a voice to make it clear? Yeah, you should do a voice. Oh, Emily, you're better at voices. Would you do a voice here? What do you got?

Okay. I just want my wife, Casey, to know how proud, I didn't either, I just kind of did it, to know how proud her friends and I are that she started selling her own designs. I love her. She means the world to me and our kids. Keep up the snark, sweetie. Ah ha ha. She added that at the end.

She added that. That was a copy. That wasn't canon. Unbelievable. She added that at the end. That's not in the copy. That wasn't canon. Unbelievable. Maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron, where you go if you want to hear Emily read your message in a fascinating voice. Yes, and I have no idea what you sound like.

Can't wait to know everything about that character. And of course, Maxim maximumfun.org slash join is where you go to support this show and all the other great shows on Maximum Fun, and you get a bunch of bonus episodes. Maximum fun.org slash join, maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron. All right, back to the show.

We're back. It's Free With Eds. We're talking. It's Free With Eds. We're talking about the exciting conclusion to Dick Tracy. So yeah, big boys having a big New Year's party. Tired, Die Hard is a Christmas movie. Wired, Dick Tracy is a New Year's movie. Oh, I like it.

Yeah, people should start saying that all the time and pretending like it's interesting. So there's a big New Year's party, it's very lavish. The cops all come in, there's a big shootout, everyone has that Tommy gun, everyone's just blasting each other with that Tommy gun, things are exploding. No one's ever getting shot really, which is kind of great.

Yeah, everyone misses in this all the time. There's no blood. No, I know. It is a very PG movie, except for that one horrible death, for that one concrete death. But yeah, very bloodless otherwise. So Big Boy kidnaps Tess. He lays on this little cart with her

and they go down the secret passage, it's really weird and gross. Which was so fun. It is fun, it is very silly and Al Pacino is just kind of rattling off all this crazy shit to her. I'm sure they just told him to say whatever he wanted to. Oh yeah, I love any movie that has little secret passageways.

That is really fun that there's just this little tiny, it's perfect for a baby coffin honestly. Yeah, sure. You just put it on that track but like Harriet the Spy has a dumb waiter that people go up and down. Oh yeah, love a dumb waiter. Like any movie that has a little secret passageway thing, I fucking love it. Very good passage in this movie. They go into like a giant clock there and like just like a great place for a showdown. I'm not exactly sure what this is or how they got there, but fuck it, just a great place for a final battle.

Dick Tracy comes in, there's a big fight. No-Face comes in and shoots somebody. I kind of forget how this went. Whatever, big boy falls to his death. The kid's there. But No Face got shot in the battle. Oh that's right, someone does get shot. Guess what, it was Madonna the whole time.

That's right, Breathless Mahoney was No Face. Man, who could have seen that coming? I don't know. No one in 1990. Honestly, I didn have seen that coming? I don't know. No one in 1990. Honestly, I didn't see it coming. No, I kind of thought maybe it would be Tess in a weird way. Oh yeah, that'd have been fun. Yeah, but it's like, I don't know.

There was nothing giving me clues to it being her other than she was the femme fatale. So I guess that's why she was so horny for him is like, don't don't pay attention to me. I thought it was either going to be Madonna or since it's a movie with stacked actors, it would just be fucking Laurence Olivier. Wow, Tom Cruise. Everyone's fucking in this. why isn't this that good yeah so so that that kind of happens they have one one final kiss but then he

goes to test now that he's smooched a dying Madonna and she's definitely dead he goes to tests it's bunch of fireworks going on, this is a cool shot. Later at the diner, he actually does ask her to marry him. Well, kind of sorta. He starts into his spiel again, the radio goes off, she's like, go get him, tiger. Not that, that's what Mary Jane says to Spider-Man,

but something like that. You get it, yeah. Yeah, and then he tosses her a ring, so he finally does it in his own Dick Tracy kind of way. That was an ugly fucking ring, yeah. It's in the ballpark. And then he tosses her a ring, so he finally does it in his own Dick Tracy kinda way. That was an ugly fuckin' ring, too. Oh, he didn't like the ring? It's tiny as shit. You've been making this lady wait all this time,

and she's babysitting some kid you found. Yeah. Good point. It is, you're right. She rules. He just has to watch a kid he found. Yeah, and he's not very nice to her. He says he hates dames.

But she's pretty sassy with the kid, which I really like. He starts to like her. But yeah, she rules. Get her a big rock, baby. Yeah, she's great. And yeah, her and the kid dynamic in this is awesome. Really funny. Yeah, and then Jig-Jig, she goes off to the bank robbery

and the kid just goes with him. I wrote, huh, the kid's just going with him? I guess, whatever. Yeah, in the comics, is he kind of like the Robin character? Is the kid like his sidekick, even though he's a minor? I don't know, I never read the comics. Our newspaper didn't get Dick Tracy. We got boring-ass Prince Valiant, I think.

Oh, wow. Yeah, so I think that was our adventure. I'd rather read a fucking Mary Worth than read Prince of Valium. Give me Mallard Fillmore. Mallard Fillmore any day. Fuck you. I'm trying to read zits. Where's my mutts?

Mutts is great. Mutts is great. And that's the end of Dick Tracy. And hey, before we get to Hunk Watch, Emily, you wanted to talk about some of the merch associated with this movie. This movie had crazy merch. It did. And I proposed a sting.

I know we are chock full of stings, but since we did the whole thing about the popcorn buckets, I think this is very relevant and it will be fun to talk about in the future. So play that sting, Matt. Weird movie merch. Yay. Weird movie merch. All right.

So I had Dick Tracy little figurines, action figurines that were pretty small. They were like Happy Meal size. So I thought they were from McDonald's. Turns out they were not. I'd ask my dad if we've got any of them anywhere, but I loved the Madonna one. It was really beautiful,

because her outfits and hair and everything was cool. Did they have a little no face thing you could put on her? I don't think they did. I think that they went, you want to see this face. This is a good face. Yeah, they didn't want to do a spoilers. Yeah, a Happy Meal toy that spoils the movie. Oh yeah, spoilers.

Yeah. So I guess the brand was Playmates, which makes it sound like it's a Playboy thing, but it's not. Sort of does. So yeah, so I thought it was from McDonald's, so I looked up McDonald's Happy Meals. There was a game, I guess, called Crime Stopper Game,

and you would take a coin and rub off certain things to get clues. It was a scratcher. Yeah, it was a little scratcher thing. And so yeah, you're trying to, I guess there was a part one, and there were different ones, and you try to solve the crime or whatever.

And yeah, I was looking at the directions like for it on this website. And the remaining spot was always a tip to the winning location, like the last thing you scratch. This often took the form of telling customers which box A, B, C, D or E to scratch. In the best of cards, it was a clue. But for example, to try the tallest gangster or search near the telephone was an option. I'm like the tallest gangster. Oh man. That's a fucking sting. It's like, I was reading these directions and I'm like, I don't get this at all.

I also don't get the monopoly thing either. Anytime people are playing monopoly, I'm like, what are we doing? We're just monopoly thing makes sense because it's like you with that one You you just collect the stickers and one of them is gonna say free Bergberg And then if you get free Bergberg sticker, then you get to eat a free burger Yeah, this sounds like you don't win anything So I guess you're trying to find out different like things and then I don't know, you send it in.

Well, I have, I have a clip of the, uh, the commercial from 1990 for Dick Tracy crime stopper game. Here it is. More than one way to win cash and McDonald's Dick Tracy crime stopper game. Collect the mobsters from your game cars and watch for their ugly mug shots each week at McDonald's. Make a match and you can make a million. Oh, okay, so it's Monopoly. Yeah, we solved that case without a wrinkle.

We? Dick Tracy. The movie is only in theater. I'm the revenue out. Game is only at McDonald's. Food, folks and fun? That is... Food, folks and fun. I don't even remember that. Oh, I do. I think that was my primary McDonald's slogan growing up. Mine was, have you had a break today? Really? I would think Kit Kat would be pissed about that. Yeah, I think they eventually changed it to I'm loving it.

I'm loving it, which I think they still, and then... Dude, they've kept that forever. At some point, it's like, come on, move on. Let's do a different thing. Bring back the moon guy. Bring back Mac tonight. Yeah. Bring back the big and spicy moon guy. I will say, as we're talking about the merch associated with this movie, great Sega Genesis game,

really fun Sega Genesis game. Yeah, you could shoot the bad guys in front of you, but there's also bad guys running around in the background and you could shoot them too. It was very innovative. You could shoot very much anyone. Was the kid in it? Did the kid be still?

No, I don't know. I'm sure the kid was in it somehow. Could you shoot the kid? I'm sorry. Yeah, you could shoot the kid. If he asked for food one too many times, pop him. This is the least kid-friendly episode we've ever done. Yeah, just talking about killing him the whole time.

We're mostly talking about baby coffins, you know? Once you pop, you can't stop. Yeah. Yeah. We are going to rank the movie, but first we're gonna talk about who we were the most attracted to. It's time for our segment, Hunk Watch. It's Hunk Watch, yeah. Emily, you had a strong opinion about this one. We've been kind of talking about the rich melange of hunks in this movie, but you think one stood out.

Yes, it is beardless Mandy Patinkin all the fucking way. As soon as he was on camera, I was like, whoa, it was like something rushed over me. I don't know, I've never seen him without, like you see him with a mustache in Princess Bride. He's a total, he's a babe in that, but with no facial hair, I was like, wow. No facial hair and balding.

They just- Well, he wasn't balding. Wasn't he balding in that? It was slick, it was slicked back. I mean- He was balding. But he was- You like a, so what you're saying, Emily, you like a hairless patinkin.

Yeah. Well, I like him with a beard too. It's just I'd never seen him. I like a battleship Potemkin. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, I know. Old movie. Oh boy. Like my patinka with a little landing strip. Oh. Oh man. Oh boy. But yeah, and he sings in it, and I don't know.

I just thought he was very fresh-faced and sexy. He looks great. Beautiful pipes. Good looking man, good singer. Warren Beatty was like a pretty face with nothing going on behind it. So it was just kind of, yeah, you're, you're a traditional like classically attractive person, I guess. But it just, I didn't feel anything in the loins. The loins were not

trembled. The loins are mysterious sometimes. Yes, they are. I do have a hunk watch. And mine is Madonna Madonna Because I think she's beautiful in this and more to the point There's titties in this movie There is titties in this movie what do you tell titties there you okay? so the scene in in which Madonna shows up in that like That black. I don't know what you call a negligee. They're like see-through Donna shows up in that like, uh, that black,

I don't know what you call it, a negligee, the like see-through fucking like black thing that she's wearing. I think you started watching another movie. No, she's, you guys know what I'm talking about when she's wearing like the black thing. I think I know you, I think I know what you mean now. She's, you can see nipple.

Oh. You can see nipple. I looked, I went on full screen, I said, know you. I think I know you mean now. She's you can see nipple. Oh, you can see nipple. I looked, I went on full screen. I said, fuck phone. We're watching this on computer. And I watched it on computer and I was like, those are, that's nipple. You could see nipple, you could see areola. And so I just, again.

The way you trembled when you said, Ariel. Well, I came over. But it was just like, I watched it and I was like, okay, this is a movie rated PG. And you know, I'm no Christian. But what are we doing to the children in this country? It's kind of weird how if you have like a sheer fabric over a nipple, somehow that's okay.

Like on Instagram, that's a thing. Like if you have a sheer thing, but the shape of an areola is beneath it, somehow that's all right. It's like, that's weird, that's interesting. All right, to who? Have they asked Jesus Christ? Well.

Probably not. Great question. Yeah. Wait, tell us what yours is, Jordan. Oh, I think I'm a test true heart man. And these kinds of this or that's usually come down on the side of the test true heart or test true heart like character. Yeah.

Yeah, she's great. And her banter with the kid is so fantastic. I have a fun story about, I think, is it Glen Headey? Is that how you say her name? Glen Headey, yeah. Yeah, so I auditioned to play the younger version of her in Future Man that was like this TV show. And she played the mom of the main character.

And oh gosh, who was the dad in that? It was her and some other, oh, the guy who loves electric cars, not Elon Musk. I'll Google this guy. I don't know, but yeah. Who's the other guy who likes electric cars? He's in all the Christopher Guest movies. Anyway, I'll find that this guy's name.

But I just, I love her so, and then she passed away. Like she was like in Future Man, and then I'd say less than a month so, and then she passed away. Like she was like in Future Man, and then I'd say less than a month after my audition she passed away. Oh my gosh. That's sad. But I thought I did a pretty good- Ed Begley Jr.

Ed Begley Jr. Oh yeah. You're right, he does like electric cars. He does. I didn't know that about him. Oh yeah, love big environmental guy. Yeah, I just really like her voice. It's very like somber and easy. I was bummed. Yeah, I just really like her voice. It's very somber and easy.

I was bummed. I would have loved that. Perfect for this movie. Perfect. Like, perfect, like, you know, looks like she's from another time. Oh, her clothes are just... If I could wear all those clothes in normal life, I would. But also, the bedrooms,

like, I want to talk about the rooms just a little bit. Oh, sure. Yeah, please. OK. I love how red was just like everything was fucking red, just everything. When she went home to stay with her mom because she was heartbroken about Dick Tracy, she had this bright red bed frame and it was like, fuck, I need that bed frame so bad. And then in Dick Tracy's apartment, he had red and yellow tiles like all over the walls and everything. And I'm like, God

damn it. I want, I need crazy colorful tiles all over the place in my life. That's the one thing I'm going to need before I die. Before I eat into the ocean, I need some red and yellow tiles. The popcorn baby cough. Tiles first, yeet second. If someone like was like out of the room for part of this and they come back, just you saying that and us laughing, it's like, what are they talking about? What is this? Back it up.

It's a podcast. Listen to what you missed. Um, back it up. It's a podcast. You can listen to what you missed. All right. Well, hey, I think it's time to rank Dick Tracy on a scale of one to 10 super loud commercials right after this. We're back. It's Free With Ads. We're going to rank Dick Tracy on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials. Matt, I think as the person who had the least attachment to this movie, maybe I'll start with you. And then maybe you think I was the biggest fan growing up, maybe I'll take it home. Matt, what do you got?

So I'm going to give this movie a five. I didn't hate it. I liked it a lot better as an adult than I did as a kid. But at the end of the day, I will say that my biggest gripe with it when I was younger was I was like, this is so colorful yet so boring. And for the first 45 minutes of this movie, I was like, I was wrong. This is actually quite entertaining. And then it kept going and I said, this is very colorful but boring. So I give it a five.

I think it's fine, it's good. You know, hey, I wouldn't dress up as Dick Tracy every two years in order to keep the character. Not that good, but good enough, it's good. And do a weird improv bit with Ben Mankiewicz. Yeah, exactly. Hey, whatever you wanna do, buddy, It's good. And do a weird improv bit with Ben Mankiewicz. Yeah, exactly. Hey, whatever you want to do, buddy. That's fine.

Blueberries. Yeah. Who does he think Dick Tracy is? I don't know. I don't know. Emily, what do you got? What is that? I was thoroughly entertained during this movie

just because of the balls and the stuff they tried. These actors were giving it all they had except for Warren Beatty. Everyone else, it was just they were having a blast. I love the costumes. I love the aesthetic. I really like Tess Trueheart's acting. The kid was great. I give it a seven.

I had a blast. I kind of want to watch it again. And maybe it's because I have a fondness like thinking about it. When I was a kid, I really did like it. So I'd watch it again, seven. Yeah, I'm right there with you, Emily. I'm going to say seven, too, for me.

I, you know, it is like an imperfect movie, and I think it like got a lot of flack at the time. Like for good, there's some like things wrong with it, but like it looks so cool it is such a like vision you know like the look of it is so cool and specific and yeah there's a lot of fun acting you wish there was a little more meat on the bone you wish Warren Beatty was doing something at all but like yeah the music the music is fucking great even though the Danny Elfman score is just like the Batman

score the Batman score. The Batman score is great. So, you know, this one is too. And yeah, all those Stephen Sondheim songs are so awesome. And I just like was glad to see it, you know, because it's been kind of like disappeared for so long. I think it's like, well, I could get a DVD from the library. But how would I watch this weird Dick Tracy that's in Warren Beatty's weird vault? And yeah, I wonder what it is that made Warren Beatty allow this to be free with ads. It's a great question, yeah.

But yeah, I'm glad it is. I'm glad it's kind of out there because it was like a weird lost memory for so long. I loved getting to revisit it. A seven, yeah. I think you should check it out if you're curious. All right, before we go, I'm just gonna let you know that we are going to announce in a future episode the winner of our Godzilla remix contest. That's right, we have chosen a winner.

Matt is hard at work in his DJ lab, making the perfect Godzilla remix. Lab. Oh yeah, there's a bunch of flasks bubbling. Yeah, a bunch of burners. Yeah, we really love seeing folks in their Free With Ads merch. It's not time to enter the contest, of course, but if you still want to check out our very cool merch, t-shirts, hats that say the worst hat, pint glasses, maxfunstore.com.

That's where you go for merch. Our live show, our first ever Free With Ads live show is coming up. It is January 23rd, 7.30 p.m. at the Punchline Comedy Club in beautiful San Francisco, California. The hilarious Shawna Christmas is our guest. We will be reviewing Twilight, and we would love to see you all there. SFSketchfest.com is where you go for your tickets.

Please come, we're planning some fun stuff and we would love it if you were there yelling at us. Ha ha ha ha. Yell at Matt for not liking bats enough. Ha ha ha ha. Please yell at me. There'll be a lot of bats in Twilight. Oh yeah, there'll be a lot of bats from Happy Meal.

I don't know, I haven't seen it. Maybe you still haven't watched it. Yeah, we haven't watched it. And hey, if you're in Southern California, I am going to be at Pasadena Comic Con that weekend on January 26th. Come on out. Yeah, the Pasadena and the surrounding area have kind of had a rough time. There's going to be a bunch of cool Pasadena artists there, you know, selling their stuff

and hopefully having a good time. So Pasadena Comic Con, come on out on 126. Emily, you got something? Well, I cannot announce it yet, but coming soon. I do have a very special announcement, a project that I'm doing, but stay tuned. So this is a tease for an announcement. Yeah, I'm giving you a little tease. So there's an announcement coming soon. I'm a, but stay tuned. So this is a tease for an announcement. Yeah, I'm giving you a little tease. So there's an announcement coming soon.

I'm a little tease. Announcements, what is it? Is it a feature film? Am I selling my dirty socks? Oh. It's one of the two. It's either a sock sale or a feature film. I am on Cameo, though, if you guys want to find me on Cameo.

Oh, really? Oh, cool. OK, there we go. I started doing that, that's fun. Yeah, I had somebody who asked me to fake faint for them. Okay. Okay. Okay.

What was the, they paid good for that, right? Yeah. What are you charged for fainting, fake fainting? Well, everything's 35 bucks. Okay. Wow, everything. Everything. I feel like you should up the price on the fake fainting. Well, everything's 35 bucks. OK. Wow. Everything. Everything. Feel like you should up the price on the fake.

Well, I'm not going to. Well, it was fun. He's a doctor, I guess. Oh, yeah. So they all say. Some people say, let me see some feet. He was like, I want you to say like you're congrats on being a doctor. I have a hard time with the sight of blood. And then like when I say blood, faint.

And then he did ask like, what experience do you have in fainting? And I was like, yeah, you asked me to do it and I did it, LOL. Oh, yeah. Let's see how weird these could get without me saying no. Cause I will do just about anything for money. Check out Emily on Cameo.

And hey, we're all Angelinos, and I think we all had our own version of a tough time during all the wildfires that happened recently and might still be happening as of when this comes out. We are all fine. All of our pets and all of our families are fine. And yeah, we thank everybody who reached out and just asked how we were doing and was concerned.

Yeah, we're all doing okay. And, you know, just bummed that so many people lost so much. And yeah, we're thankful that we're okay. But Matt, one of your family members had it had a super tough time Yeah, so my my twin sister Diana and her husband and two kids lost their home It it caught fire with all the other homes In in Alta Dina and which is the other fire like I think a lot of people are hearing about the palisades fire Which is you know was is bad and it's still going on which is the other fire. Like I think a lot of people are hearing about the Palisades fire,

which is, you know, was, is bad and is still going on. But this Eaton fire over on the East side, pretty much devastated Altadena. Burn down the home, burn down their home, burn down their kids school. Which is a whole other nightmare. Not only do you have no home, but also you have no place for your kids to go to school. So yeah, right now in the show notes of this episode, there's going to be a link to a Go Fund Me for my sister and her family if you feel like donating to someone who is, you know, just lost her home and is cool and is related to me, please donate, you know, anything that you can. It is all appreciated, but everyone is safe. Everyone is safe. They got their cats out. They got their kids out. And unfortunately, you know, everything else they did did not all their stuff is gone so any help would be appreciated. Yeah that's that's that's super awesome and yeah thanks to everybody who has been kicking in to

GoFundMe's and helping with the relief efforts here really really cool and we know we know that the audience of this show and the audience of all the Max Fund shows are really really cool nice people And yeah, it's always really really neat when When you can reach out and kind of use this platform for good stuff, so thank you to everybody Who has been being a cool nice person? alright Tune in next week when our movie will be. The Warriors come out to play!

Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.