Free With Ads - Introducing: Free With Ads

Episode Date: February 14, 2024

Why pay for streaming services when movies like Timecop and Grease 2 can be watched for nothing more than the cost of enduring a few loud, unskippable ads? Join us every week for a dive into the internet’s bargain bin!Emily Fleming and Jordan Morris are real friends, real comedy writers and real cheapskates. They met working in comedy writing rooms and bonded over their love of “trashy” pop culture and saving a buck. They’re combining these loves for the podcast Free With Ads, a movie review show dedicated to the weird, amazing, inexplicable movies streaming free on an internet near you.

I'm Emily Fleming. And I'm Jordan Morris. It's time to get excited about our new podcast, Free With Ads. You maybe know me from the MaxFun podcast, Jordan Jesse Go, or seen my writing in TV or in the comics. And you've perhaps seen me do stand-up comedy, or you've commented on my WikiFeet page. Stop doing that. And if you're a certain kind of internet freak, you've probably seen us both on the YouTube show Good

Mythical Morning. Or me on Mythical Kitchen. We both love movies. Specifically, we both love insane movies. Yes. And we both love a bargain. We're fans of the Free With Ads section on YouTube where you can watch all sorts of crazy stuff for free as long as

you're cool with targeted commercials randomly inserted every few minutes. Every week on this show, we're going to review a crazy movie from the internet's bargain bin. For our first episode, we're watching Jean-Claude Van Damme's classic Time Cop. Now, Emily, this was your first Van Damme movie, right? Like, you had never watched a Van Damme movie before this. Yes, and Van Damme. That ass is juicy. You enjoyed the buns, from what I understand.

Oh, yes, I did. So here's a little taste of what you can expect. So they look at clocks and only do ironic things. Was that what they were looking at? They were looking at clocks, yeah. Oh my god, that's so on the nose. There's never time to please a woman.

And hey, super producer Matt Lieb, let's hear a clip. There's never enough time. Never enough for what? To satisfy a woman. Oof. I don't know.

Now, hearing that back, I'm pretty... Oh, so you like Van Damme's delivery on that? I like Van Damme's delivery on everything,

personally. He was the, out of everything I could complain about about this movie, he was not. Okay. A complaint. I mean, he, in these movies, consistently, and, you know, if you choose to go down the rabbit hole that his is IMDb, in all of these movies, it is required that you see his naked butt flexing. I didn't know that.

Yeah. And I do not have a problem. And I couldn't take my eyes off that Jean-Claude Van Dump trick. Oh, God. So they go back to the house and have the most 90s sex of all time. This is my favorite part of the movie. Yeah. Yeah, I guess you could, I maybe theorize that the movie goes downhill from the Civil War cold

open, but I think it also would be argued that it goes downhill from the 90s sex scene. I think we got some hills and valleys here, my friend. That's true. Some peaks, some crevasses. In terms of intrigue, the opening scene is just not what the movie is. Right. It's like, whoa, we're going to go all through time. No.

No, we don't really. But the sex scene, to me, I love 90s sex scenes. Me too. Like 90s action movies. And this is like the ultimate one in a weird way. It's tasteful. It's tasteful. Saxophone.

Smooth sax. Got some good boob action going on. But you feel like you see so much of him that it feels like it's more about him than it is about her. And let me tell you, that's how I felt. You do see a lot of like, in these types of sex scenes, you do see like the male leads like pumping muscular butt. This is what you have to have. If there's any sex scenes. Sometimes it's just people rolling around.

But I need to see like that motion. Right. That they're like grinding like on each other. And this has it. Oh, it does. Yeah. And it's very hot. And they have chemistry.

The two of them have very good chemistry. He's dreamy. Okay. I totally get it now. I didn't see anything he's been in. I'm like, oh, cool, he can do splits

between two big, like, vehicles. Well, there's a lot of... I didn't want to fuck him over that. Now I want to fuck him, like, over this, so...

I didn't want to go, fuck me now, train conductor splits guy, whatever the fuck he did. To the smoothest sax you've ever heard. Oh, God, you got this. Do-do-do-do-do.

Make sure you're subscribed to Free With Ads. We're planning on reviewing He's Just Not That Endy You, Grease 2, Nothing But Trouble, and Dungeons & Dragons. But not the good one with Chris Pine, the other one. New episodes every Tuesday on MaximumFun.org or your favorite pod spot.