Free With Ads - It Takes Two (1995)

Episode Date: March 25, 2024

It's week 2 of the MaxFun Drive and to celebrate Emily Fleming and Jordan Morris watched It Takes Two, starring the Olsen Twins who play two identical strangers who do a sort of parent trap type thing.... But it's not the parent trap because they are not twins in the movie, just in real life. Anyway, you can watch  It Takes Two free with ads right here.Visit Emily's ETSY store right now and buy some stuff!Make sure to support this great network by heading on over to maximumfun.org/join

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is Free With Ads. I'm Jordan Morris. I'm Emily Fleming. And we're about to talk about the Olsen Twins classic, It Takes Two. But first, we wanted to remind you that it's the MaxFunDrive. MaximumFun.org slash join is where you go if you want to support this show and all the great shows on Maximum Fun. We're going to be talking a little bit later about the stuff you can get if you support our network.
Starting point is 00:00:24 But hey, go to MaximumFun.org, slash join. Check it out while we're gabbing, and we'll be back a little bit later. But first, here's our episode on It Takes Two. Welcome to Free With Ads, the podcast that asks the question, why pay Hulu eight bucks a month for 192 episodes of Full House when you can go on YouTube for free and get 90 distilled minutes of pure Mary-Kate and Ashley shenanigans with a hearty helping of Gutenberg beefcake on the side. I'm Jordan Morris.
Starting point is 00:01:22 And I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is It Takes Two, a family comedy about two identical strangers who come together to get Kirstie Alley and Steve Gutenberg to fall in love and defeat a stepmother that's as evil as she is fabulously dressed. Before we talk about It Takes Two, modern classic, question mark,
Starting point is 00:01:41 a movie which, as of this recording, is streaming free with ads. Let's talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week. Other free stuff. I'll go first. Okay. Emily, do you meditate? No.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Is that something you do? No. Have you ever tried it? Have you ever tried to? Yes, a lot. Me too. I actually even went to a seminar thing. Oh, yeah? I was trying
Starting point is 00:02:06 to do hot yoga when I first moved here. Because I had a close girlfriend who was making me go. Right. Hate it. I went to hot yoga once and the guy leading the hot yoga had his head was bald. He had his head shaved bald. Except for
Starting point is 00:02:22 going down the middle were dots of hair, like stegosaurus spikes. But were they spiky or just dots? They were balls. They were balled up. They were like mini man buns that went down his head like a stegosaurus. And I'm like, of course, this is the guy that leads hot yoga. Yep.
Starting point is 00:02:41 Anyway, I was bad at it and I was too hot. Yeah. I hate being, I would rather be cold than hot. Right? I don't know what I was expecting. I know, it's true. But I got out of it. But anyway, so yeah, obviously meditating is one of those things people say, you drink lots of water, meditate. Yeah, yeah. And I'm giving it a go with the water, but I haven't been able to. I've got my big water cup. I showed you it in the elevator. I know. I like this cup. Thank you. What's that cup everybody gets? The Stanley cup is the hot cup. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I have the Amazon knockoff, the SM cup. It's cute.
Starting point is 00:03:14 They're Stanley girlies. I'm an SM girly. Oh. I like my SM. So yeah, just another little tip for the cheapskates out there. Hell yeah. If you want a nice Stanley variant, the SM will do you right. So I'm drinking water.
Starting point is 00:03:29 I'm peeing constantly. I'm washing my hands until they crack. I haven't got a handle on the meditation yet. Okay. But I do think that there are some good guided meditation videos on YouTube. Okay. Did you ever look on YouTube for guided meditation? No, I did not.
Starting point is 00:03:44 Okay. I found a great one this week that has a celebrity voice. Okay. And I want to have Matt play some of this guided meditation that you can watch free on YouTube. Okay. And I want to see if you can guess
Starting point is 00:03:57 who this is leading the meditation. Do you feel busy? Stressed? overworked? Sometimes life just overwhelms us. This is a guided meditation that will help you discover deep relaxation and inner harmony. Any guesses? John C. Reilly? Okay, you know what?
Starting point is 00:04:32 You're not totally wrong. Do you want one more guess or do you want me to reveal who it was? Okay, let me see. No, I don't know who it is. Who was it? Matt, let her know who that was. No! It's Lil Jon.
Starting point is 00:04:45 No! Lil Jon. No. Lil Jon. Why did he sound like, who's that underdog? No, no, no. Who's the blue dog? Droopy? He sounds like Droopy. Huckleberry Hound?
Starting point is 00:04:55 He sounded like Huckleberry Hound. Yeah. Are you overworked? Lil Jon's guided meditations rule. They're fucking relaxing. I mean, it sounded relaxing. He takes them really seriously. It's not a joke.
Starting point is 00:05:10 When I first saw that he was doing it, I'm like, oh, this is a thing. This is like a Taco Bell viral thing where he shouts, yeah, you when you're relaxing. No, he genuinely believes in meditation. He believes in self-care. And there's a whole album of these just on his YouTube page. It's on his YouTube. It's not through a company or anything? You can stream it on Spotify, but they're all uploaded to YouTube.
Starting point is 00:05:30 That's so cool. Yeah. Good for you, Lil Jon. Matt, do me a favor. I never want us to get too negative on this podcast. Absolutely. We'll talk about some bad movies, and we might get angry. And if we ever get too worked up, can we just clip out a little bit of Lil Jon to relax us?
Starting point is 00:05:47 You got it. I'll have some Lil Jon relaxation ready to go. So just drop it on us if we ever get too feisty. Absolutely. Okay. I also think that Sting's, what was the song? Desert Rose. I also have Desert Rose ready to go at all times.
Starting point is 00:06:02 Yeah. Desert Rose, Lil Jon meditation, a little bit of that, like, what's that bowl that people scrape a thing around? One of those bowls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of those, yeah, one of those bowls that somebody brings back from a vacation and they really want to show you the bowl. Boy, this sounds like it's, this replaces therapy 100%. Who needs it? Who needs it?
Starting point is 00:06:21 Guys, this is the podcast. Yeah, talking about bowls. Emily, did you see anything good on the internet this week? I did this TikToker and Instagram-er. He's a grammar. Yeah. One who grams. One who does gram.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Yeah, Candy Carpenter. I saw it first on TikTok. This is a song about the Pink Power Ranger. And everything she says in the song is pretty much my experience of childhood. So I'd love it if you played it. The video is good too. Oh my gosh, I love this song. I love the...
Starting point is 00:07:07 It's got a little bit of a 90s pop punk vibe to it. Yeah. I couldn't go to sex ed, but I'd take my Barbie's clothes off. Well, I was watching her and Tommy Fighting aliens and robots I thought she smells like Strawberry Starburst taste She looks like the bottle that comes with a Isn't it good?
Starting point is 00:07:37 Like, because I definitely got my Barbies naked and I definitely was, you know, I got off on that a little bit as a kid when I was curious. I always did a thing. And Tommy and Kimberly, that was like the first, you know, some people have Jack and Rose.
Starting point is 00:07:52 Right. I had Tommy and Kimberly. Tommy and Kimberly, yeah. The green and the pink ranger? Yeah, well, he became the white ranger, but yes. Did you ever have She-Ras? No, I didn't get into She-Ra. Remember, I have kind of a weird issue
Starting point is 00:08:03 about animated shows. Oh, okay. I've talked to you a little bit about this. I don't know what,-Ra. Remember, I have kind of a weird issue about animated shows. Oh, okay. I've talked to you a little bit about this. I don't know what, except for X-Men, which is my favorite animated show ever, I don't connect with a lot of animated shows. So I had very special feelings for She-Ra, who I think is He-Man's cousin. The blonde with the white outfit and the gold. We had a He-Man and we had a She-Ra doll. And She-Ra had like
Starting point is 00:08:28 an exposed back. Like she had a... And I would always make He-Man give She-Ra back rubs. And those were like... Because I think I think I thought that's what sex was. There was a period where I thought sex was a man rubbing a woman's back. Very heteronormative. I just want I thought sex was a man rubbing a woman's back.
Starting point is 00:08:45 Okay. Very heteronormative. Right. I just want to say. It can be anyone rubbing anyone's back. I didn't have like, I had a Luke Skywalker that was the only like, and a beast. And those were my dude dolls. Well, I had a Peter Pan Barbie as well. And my friends and I were all very curious or whatever.
Starting point is 00:09:03 And we would do this thing. I remember this vividly. It was, there was a tornado and everyone is running from the tornado and I were all very curious or whatever. And we would do this thing. I remember this vividly. It was there was a tornado and everyone is running from the tornado and it blows all of their clothes off. Oh, no. And then they're all just like whipping around in the tornado, like humping each other in the tornado. Like, what the fuck was that? Sure. Well, I mean, maybe you saw, you know, Wizard of Oz.
Starting point is 00:09:24 I feel like it was just like this whoopsie we have no choice but to smash in this tornado. There's nothing we can do. There's nothing we can do. This tornado is making us fuck. Exactly. And then the Wicked Witch is coming by. She's got that broom. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Oh, no. She's got that broom. Yeah. Oh, no. So wait. So let's transition from talking about our fractured sexualities. Okay. And talk about this delightful family film. Emily, this was your suggestion.
Starting point is 00:09:58 You love this movie. Talk a little bit about what this movie means to you. I love this movie so much. little bit about what this movie means to you. I love this movie so much. I feel like it's so much more pure and funny than The Parent Trap, which came out later. This came out first. Yeah, because this has elements of other, like, it's a very Parent Trap-y type plot. It's a little bit Prince and the Pauper.
Starting point is 00:10:17 Yes, so they're not related to each other. They're just strangers who are identical, which never happens. At some point in the movie, when it's revealed that that they look alike someone looks into the camera and goes identical strangers yeah it's so funny it is about identical twins mary kate and ashley yes who switch places and and yeah they don't go they don't try to explain it and i like that about it but i like it too because like in the parent trap the people who everyone who's done the parent trap is one person They don't try to explain it. And I like that about it. But I like it too because in The Parent Trap, everyone who's done The Parent Trap is one person. They're not even siblings.
Starting point is 00:10:50 This one, they're actually siblings. And they were like, nah. Right. They don't try and do a switch to birth thing. They don't try and do we had this, my dad met your mom. They don't try and do that. They're just like identical strangers. I also think that Mary-Kateashley is very funny in this movie i think there's some they're both really funny
Starting point is 00:11:10 lines in it i think the acting is great i think the script in my opinion this is just a better like script um i think then the parent trap yeah i think the jokes are better because the lindsey lohan parent trap was very close to this, right? Time-wise? Well, 1998 was the parent trap and then it takes to 1995. They're one year apart. Oh, wait, no. They're three years apart. That's how
Starting point is 00:11:35 math works. So I had never heard of this movie. I definitely was familiar with Mary-Kate and Ashley because we watched a lot of Full House. Oh, hell yeah. Who didn't? We watched a lot of TGIF. So I knew them. And I think by the time they were doing movies, I had kind of moved on. But my sister watched a lot of Mary-Kate and Ashley movies.
Starting point is 00:11:54 So I kind of knew that they had branched out and were doing this kind of stuff. I had never heard of this movie. But since you suggested it, I started kind of looking into it. And I realized this movie has a big cult fan base. It does? There's a BuzzFeed article that I'm going to read to you from 2019. This is by Lauren Yapsletter. Here's the headline.
Starting point is 00:12:16 Okay. It Takes Two Only Has an 8% on Rotten Tomatoes, Which I Find Absolutely Despicable. Not Okay. No, it's not okay and and this this author of this article kind of goes down and kind of gives evidence in gifs in typical buzzfeed style as to why this is a classic movie and i'll show my hand a little bit at the top here after watching this movie i kind of agree with lauren and buzzfeed that i think this is this is kind of a sneaky classic and the fact that it was maybe critically hated on um was a little bit of a travesty maybe
Starting point is 00:12:53 this movie needs a reappraisal i think this movie is i don't know there's something very positive about its um portrayal of two sides of the same coin when it comes to, you know. I think this, and I'm saying this as a compliment. Yeah. The movie seems like it was written by a kid. Yes. It is like what a kid thinks adult life is like. Yes.
Starting point is 00:13:19 Like, for instance, I thought sex was rubbing someone's back. Right. This movie kind of has that logic to it. It has a kid's view of what adults do. And you don't see this kind of kids comedy anymore. What do kids have? They have Pixar movies, which are great. But also there's sad adult animators slipping fucking adult shit into these things.
Starting point is 00:13:45 What about death, kids? Or it's like the Disney Channel movies where it's so over the top. That too, yeah, exactly. It's like that. This is like playing it straight even though- And you have two great sitcom actors in it too as the leads. I really do think this is Kirstie Alley's best work. Yes.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Since Cheers, you're including Cheers. No. This is better than Cheers. Okay, It Takes Two is better than Cheers. To me, she is, and this is all of her politics and problematic stuff aside, I think in this movie,
Starting point is 00:14:17 she is like the most, the woman I would want to be. She's great in this. She's so beautiful in this. And I remember, I think I remember as a kid, something about how people were saying that she was fat in this movie. Yeah, she really got the,
Starting point is 00:14:35 yeah, she was a tabloid target for a long time because of her weight. I was looking at this movie, I'm like, I feel like I have her body. I look like her. And it made me kind of movie, I'm like, I feel like I have her body. Like, I look like her. And it made me kind of go, I look great. Because I thought she looked so beautiful. And then I was like, oh.
Starting point is 00:14:52 And maybe she has a point about Xenu. Yeah. And Satan said the fact that our souls are in volcanoes. No. But no, I thought that she just is very, like, natural and, like, feminine. Yeah. But also, but also likable. And I like her portrayal of a social worker who really cares about one kid, though,
Starting point is 00:15:12 which is kind of sad for the other kids I've thought about in the rest of the movie. She really loves this kid and wants the kid to be her kid, but can't adopt her because she's poor. I did throughout this movie think, and I think you have a point about the fact that Kirstie Alley, as a social worker to one of the Olsen twins, is just kind of doing shenanigans with this one kid while they're at camp.
Starting point is 00:15:34 I'm like, there are kids drowning and shooting each other with arrows while she's not watching them. Yeah, the only time I ever saw her play with the other kids is when she's kind of doing a dance with them on a field. And she participates in a food fight as well. She sure does. But she's the best. But yeah, I guess the preface is that they're two kids from different
Starting point is 00:15:52 sides of the track. Sides of the track. And one has a very pristine accent that sounds like a fancy little lady and one sounds like a wise guy. So they kind of try and do accents with varying degrees of success.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Well, let's start talking about what actually happens in the movie. Yes. So we kind of get these kind of flashes of their lives in their various socioeconomic chambers. One, you have this very pristine piano music, this kid's at boarding school, and then you have the tough kid on the streets.
Starting point is 00:16:27 You got the kid they call the home run queen. She's playing stickball with the other toughs. She is covered in band-aids. Any skin that's showing on this kid, they just put band-aids on her. I was that kid. I loved picking and eating my scabs when I was a kid. That's very gross, but I did that.
Starting point is 00:16:49 Nothing says rough and tumble like picking and eating the scab. Do you remember when you were a kid just being the itchiest motherfucker ever? I'm an itchy adult. I am too. I have bad eczema. I'm allergic to all detergents. No, I'm currently weaning my face off of topical steroids. Oh, yeah?
Starting point is 00:17:04 And it is hell. Oh, my gosh. But we have to go take Getty photos at a party tomorrow, so I went, fuck it, and I just slathered my face in steroids again. Give me those steroids. Yeah, I'll deal with this later. I know. I have a steroid cream for my feet that I use. How long have you used it?
Starting point is 00:17:18 A couple weeks. I've used mine for two years. Whoa. Yeah, it's going to be bad. Okay. I asked my doctor if they could just laser my whole fucking face off. Can I do that instead? And put John Travolta's face on your face?
Starting point is 00:17:31 You could marry his wife. But yeah, I'll let y'all know how it's going next time, but it hurts. And in line with kind of the logic of this movie being how a kid views the world, Matt, I want to play the music they play for the tough street kid.
Starting point is 00:17:45 So, you know, maybe if you're going to like give it, maybe we're trying to give a vibe of like cool urban playground. You could do hip hop. You could do punk or metal. But I like that this is what they chose. Okay. Yeah, we're playing in fire hydrants. I'm walking here.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Give me a slice of pie. I love it. Me too. Well, it's very like upstate and city. And the city. Yeah. I wonder if what they were going for was 90s Saturday Night Live. Pretty much.
Starting point is 00:18:23 Maybe. They're like, this is New York. Well it kind of sounds like Family Matters where they're coming back from commercial. You're right. They're like everybody's kind of like alright you know it's very it's fun but honestly that's like the sound that I always thought New York City when I lived there would be like. Right. But
Starting point is 00:18:37 instead it was. Just saxophone and jazzy drums. It was like the soundtrack from Eternal Sunshine most of the time in my brain. Oh, yeah. It's just sadness. That's why we all need to own the soundtrack to It Takes Two. Yep.
Starting point is 00:18:54 We were talking earlier about how much we like the soundtrack. The soundtrack for It Takes Two is absolutely outstanding. It's mostly kind of there's James Brown, Herbie Hancock. It's a lot of- Little Richard's in this. There's Tuttiie Fruity plays during a food fight, which I feel like is a 90s trope. I never had a food fight,
Starting point is 00:19:12 but if I did, Tootie Fruity. Tootie Fruity. So yeah, so we see these two kids. One's refined, one's tough, and the tough kid, as we mentioned, has a social worker, Kirstie Alley, playing... This is kind of interesting. So her name in this is Diane, which was the name of the character she replaced in Cheers? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:30 It's a weird little dissonance. I don't know why they chose to do that. It's not the name of somebody who sounds like, I don't know, Diane sounds like a fancy upper crust name. It seems a little too fancy. Yeah, I mean, there's a princess. They should call her Fire Hydrant. I think Holly.
Starting point is 00:19:49 Holly. That's a nice. Would have been good. I love that name. But yeah, but she loves the kid. The kid's rough around the edges. They have a very sweet relationship. And she takes the kid to see this family.
Starting point is 00:20:03 The Butt Kisses. Oh, I would have thought that was funny if I was 10. Oh, my God. Hilarious. That name pops up in other kids' content, I feel like. And I've never met anyone with that last name, but I think it does exist. If you're out there and you're listening, if you're a butt kiss, drop us a line. Yeah, and drop your name.
Starting point is 00:20:21 Yes. Okay. And drop your name. Yes. Okay. So Kirstie Alley says, like, I would adopt you, but I don't have a husband. She needs a husband. She's unlucky in love. Well, also, there's something about how she couldn't afford it on her salary as well.
Starting point is 00:20:36 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I'm like, okay. Well, currently. Well, maybe she'll get together with a cell phone millionaire later in the movie. Oh, yeah. And be able to afford to adopt the kid. So we see her, this kid's little life, getting... We'll meet the Butt Kisses later. They're a weird family.
Starting point is 00:20:54 So weird. He's like a mechanic and she's dressed like Peggy Bundy. They look really cool, actually. The Butt Kisses are probably kind of fun. So then we get to see the rich kid. She's landing in her like private jet, right? Yep. And her butler comes to get her,
Starting point is 00:21:13 who I think is the tallest person in the movie. Tallest guy. And I want to talk about her clothes when she's getting off the plane. She's got a little blazer. With the shoulder pads that like insane shoulder pads. It looks like a kid's Halloween costume of David Burns talking head suit. It really does.
Starting point is 00:21:32 I want to be, I want to go for Halloween as it stopped making sense. Oh, and I know we did tell a student, there were no bad hats in this movie. That's right. There is a bad wig that we'll get to later. But my favorite hat moment actually was right after this. So at like 14 minutes, 15 seconds, there's a little cool spot where Amanda is at her bunk at the camp and she puts her ball cap. Amanda's the tough kid.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Amanda's the tough kid. Okay. And Alyssa is the rich girl. The fancy kid. So Amanda the tough kid puts her ball cap on her bunk and then it cuts to Alyssa's floppy hat going on her bed. That's nice.
Starting point is 00:22:09 I was like, that's really cute. Look at that. They're different but the same. So these were good hats. No bad hats. No bad hats in this movie.
Starting point is 00:22:16 Matt, make a good hat sting. Anyway. I'm still going to play the bad hat sting. Okay, that's fine. I'm still going to play it. This guy doesn't have time. He's the worst hat
Starting point is 00:22:24 but best hat. Thank you. That's good enough. Okay, that's fine. I'm still going to play it. This guy doesn't have time. He's the worst hat, but best hat. Thank you. That's good enough. Thanks, Matt. So this kid's getting picked up from her private jet. Her butler has to pick her up because dad's too busy working. Dad's in there work, huh? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:40 Every 90s movie had a dad who was working too much. Oh, I know. Yeah. These 90s dads. Meanwhile, the moms were also working and were usually taking care of the kids. Right. I know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:51 And finding time to spend with the kids. Yeah. Her job probably didn't make very much money. Sure. I make cookies for dogs. I'm a 90s mom. That's my job. I'm a 90s mom.
Starting point is 00:23:02 That's my job. So we go to the mansion and we find out, and this is where the movie really kicks into high gear. Hell yeah. We find out the dad's got a new girlfriend. Yeah. Not just a girlfriend. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:18 A fiance. And he's never mentioned her before. And this woman's name is Clarice. Yep. You were talking about how much restraint they probably had not to make a Silence of the Lambs jokes about this woman. Especially because this woman wears like one of those, you know, those comical green beauty masks. Oh, that's right. That people wear with little cucumbers on their eyes. That's a fun joke that always happens in a kid's movie.
Starting point is 00:23:40 It does. And everyone goes, ah, you look scary. They get scared by someone in a mask. Exactly. And it's like, well, the mask on that, and then Clarice, oh boy. I bet you they pitched it, and people were like, this is a kid's movie. The kids haven't seen Silence of the Lambs. We're not going to make a thing about cannibals in this movie.
Starting point is 00:23:54 This is already about orphans. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So this woman is so evil. She's just a modern version of an evil stepmother. And she is fucking hilarious in this. She's amazing.
Starting point is 00:24:10 She's great. And she's so fun to hate. My favorite thing is- She really is. In The Parent Trap, you have an evil stepmother that's almost aspirational, dare I say it. She's so beautiful. Do you remember who plays the evil stepmother? Because I haven't seen the Lindsay Lohan Parent Trap.
Starting point is 00:24:22 I forget her name, but she's absolutely amazing. And I forget her name, but she's gorgeous. I'm sure if you look her up, I know that she's like still around and doing cool stuff. But she's like young, hot, powerful businesswoman. Like she's she's not just some socialite who's like marrying a rich guy. You know, she's like. Right. She's a powerful lady.
Starting point is 00:24:53 It was Elaine Hendricks. Yeah. socialite who's like marrying a rich guy you know she's like right she's a powerful lady it was elaine hendrix yeah who plays the sinister meredith blake meredith blake yeah evil soon-to-be stepmother coming in to steal the parker twins father yep and um played by dennis quaid oh yeah another hunk but yeah so there's, she, this one is just evil. There's nothing redeeming about her. She's not even likable around the dude she's trying to marry. Yeah, that's a funny part of this. She's like a nag and she's like not fun or even sexy. She's nasty from the get go. Like usually it's kind of like the evil stepmother is this sensual kind of
Starting point is 00:25:26 seducing dad. Seducing him. This guy is the most aloof, like weird, Lil Abner dad I've ever seen. He's like, all he keeps thinking about
Starting point is 00:25:37 is how people need mommies and I think he needs mommy is what a lot of it is that. Maybe. But he's just like, you need a mom, right? And it's like, so you just found this lady. There's a mom? That's a maybe but he's just like you need a mom right and it's like so
Starting point is 00:25:45 you just found there's a mom that's my that's a woman she's it yeah mom is woman but and she's woman and mom but he the thing about the steve gutenberg dad is he is bewildered by all female emotion sure and everything like his daughter pretends to faint sometimes yeah and he goes oh she does this sometimes and then the stepmom is like, don't award that behavior. That's bad behavior. He goes, oh, it is bad behavior. She's like, yeah. And he goes, okay.
Starting point is 00:26:12 And he just like walks away. He just has like, I don't know what it is. Like he doesn't have any. I don't know if he's like supposed to be like an early version of a tech bro, because we learn later that he made his money with like cell phones he has some vague cell phone company when like yeah that was a hot reference yeah like that would like be saying if the dad in the movie now is like i made tiktok you know it would just be so cutting edge yeah um so yeah maybe he's supposed to be kind of like uh you, like socially weird tech guy or something. Well, I think he's just a guy who a woman handled everything.
Starting point is 00:26:48 And he doesn't have a wife. He hasn't had her for like 10 years. And he still doesn't know what to do. It's just amazing. I don't know. Emily, so you wanted to talk a little bit about the bedroom in the rich kid's house. Oh, my God. It's the most.
Starting point is 00:27:07 And I'm so sad because I don't know if it's just the free with ads movies or if it's just YouTube now in general. You can't screenshot images. Yeah, you need to have a little app for it now. Which is a bummer because the bedroom. And I couldn't. Like, I Googled it. Nobody's uploading those photos. Nobody's uploading those photos.
Starting point is 00:27:32 In the mansion, it is like the canopy bed, which I always fantasized about having the big wooden post canopy bed. It is stunningly beautiful. And a mosquito net. No, it wasn't a mosquito net. It's like upholstery, like billowy pink upholstery. And it's so tall and amazing and fluffy. And she's got a bunch of there's a weird clown at like the edge of her bed at one point but there's like i think a huge dollhouse tons of dolls like it was just kind of that is the 90s girl girly yeah do you think if you like when you
Starting point is 00:27:58 saw that as a kid you're like oh i want that room no i've all every girl wanted that room okay we've all seen it we okay here's here's what i will say about that i knew girls want that room? No, every girl wanted that room. Okay. We've all seen it. Okay, here's what I will say about that. I knew girls with that room. Right. And I would be friends with them and then sleep over one time and then they'd never talk to me again. I don't know what I did.
Starting point is 00:28:20 Well, probably because you said I'm going to kill you and steal your room. Maybe. But there were girls like that that I knew that were rich. And you didn't know they were rich until you went over for a slumber party or something. And then you'd be like, holy shit, I'm friends with a rich kid. I can't ever let this friend go. And then you put too much pressure on the friend to never leave you.
Starting point is 00:28:39 And then they leave you. But I think that there were some girls who wanted the Clarissa Explains It All room. Oh, yeah. Which is what most of us had, you know, the kind of modge podge, put a stick of poster over here. Yeah. Which is what the room I had, but I would have loved to had the big billowy like girly room. There's still time. You can get a canopy bed, right?
Starting point is 00:28:59 You can get the canopy bed of your dreams. Yeah. I'm going to have to get a separate, a room that is separate from the other stuff in my apartment. A room, yeah. A room for the bed. A bed room, if you will. A bed room, if you will. Exactly. But you were saying you actually found out the shooting location, this mansion that they're in, which is gorgeous.
Starting point is 00:29:16 It's so gorgeous. You have some sad news. Yeah, unfortunately it was abandoned and demolished just last year. Oh, my gosh. I'm so sad about it. And the abandoned photos, so it was in the New York Post, if you want to look up the article. The photo of the abandoned version of it is so pretty.
Starting point is 00:29:36 It's like covered in vines. Oh, boy. God. Some say on a full moon you can hear the voices of two identical strangers echoing through the halls. So it's in Canada. It was in Toronto. But the funny thing to me is in the movie, the rich people, the Calloways, are the ones who essentially paid for the summer camp. Right.
Starting point is 00:29:58 Where all the poor kids go. All the poor kids. The orphans. The orphans. The underprivileged. The various Band-Aid covered street kids. Yeah, exactly. So they are the ones who, like, you know, Alyssa's dead mother who died in childbirth.
Starting point is 00:30:11 Yes. Gutenberg's ex, well, dead wife. She founded that camp. So this was the house that overlooked the camp. And all the orphans thought that big mansion was haunted because it was abandoned. Right. Until the beginning of this movie oh that's a fun little connection so now it's like in real life the movie went on and what
Starting point is 00:30:30 if like i don't know kirsty ellie's character died and now it's just it's a beauty and the beast situation he's just he's waiting for a kiss to break the spell uh this is another trope in these movies is the like house in the neighborhood that all the kids think is haunted. Did you have that? I didn't have that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there were a couple, but they were always older men who lived alone.
Starting point is 00:30:53 Okay. Either their wife passed away. Right. Next door to me, there was, I remember this very well, there was a guy, old man, he just lived alone. He was nice, I guess. I didn't talk to him much, but he died in that house. And they, like the neighbors hadn't seen him in quite some time and we were all worried about him. And I guess maybe one of his family
Starting point is 00:31:15 members asked for people to check on him. So all the dads on my block, I grew up with very nice dads all up and down my block went over there and they found his body oh my gosh and i think they like helped to like get him somewhere so it wasn't so like it was a little bit more uh noble the spot where they would get him in the i guess corner do ambulances pick up the dead body don't know yeah. Yeah, I should know that. Yeah, we didn't have haunted houses growing up. We just had like a Barnes and Noble with weird vibes. Okay, so we're about to get to the point in the movie where they switch places. I think this is a great place to take a little break and hear about either some products and services or some other great MaxFun shows or both.
Starting point is 00:32:05 Yay. Hey, Emily. Hi, Jordan. It's week two of the MaxFun Drive. I love week two. If you thought week one was wild, get ready for week two when we talk about Olsen twins movies. It takes two in week two.
Starting point is 00:32:30 God, that's perfect. It's like we planned it. I know. But we didn't. No, we didn't. We don't plan much. But hey, it's the MaxFunDrive. Folks are going to MaximumFun.org slash join.
Starting point is 00:32:42 And they are supporting this show and all the great shows on MaximumFun.org slash join and they are supporting this show and all the great shows on Maximum Fun. It works a little bit like an NPR pledge drive, a PBS pledge drive or supporting a Patreon. Basically, the listeners
Starting point is 00:32:53 to these shows keep them going by becoming members. You can do five bucks a month. We love that. If you want to go up, awesome.
Starting point is 00:33:00 We love that too. Ten bucks a month, 25 bucks a month. You get some cool stuff. You get a butt tonton of bonus content, including our special series where we review Free With Ads TV pilot. Oh, yeah. We're going to be bringing you more episodes of that show throughout the year.
Starting point is 00:33:18 By you, of course, we mean people who go to MaximumFun.org. If you don't go there, you can't hear the episodes. Yeah, and he promised me I could get drunk in the next one. That's true. So you better do that. That's true. We have made a solemn pledge to our listeners that we will do a drunk review of the X-Files pilot.
Starting point is 00:33:36 So if you want to hear that and a bunch of other bonus stuff, MaximumFun.org slash join. If you don't know anything about the company, they're a worker-owned co-op of really cool people who just want to make cool stuff. This is something that we've always wanted to do, and MaxFun made it possible. They pay for the mics.
Starting point is 00:33:56 They pay for the internet hosting, the great art that goes along with this show. And Matt. The music. And Matt. They created Matt in a lab so that we would have a producer. I was born in a lab, and then I was raised to edit. You'd think he'd have better eyesight if he was made in a lab.
Starting point is 00:34:12 The scientists of MaxFun are still perfecting their cloning techniques. People really need to go to MaximumFun.org slash join so that I could get better eyes. Yeah, those glasses are thick as a 1950s Coke bottle. Listen, we can clone Matt some better eyes if people go to MaximumFun.org slash join. No, yeah, so everything that makes this show possible is all MaxFun. And if you want it to keep going,
Starting point is 00:34:38 if you want the show to not be a financial burden on the company. And if you want me drunk. If you want us drunk and yakking about the X-Files. Maximumfund.org. To be clear, we will be paying for the alcohol ourselves. This will not be provided by Max Fund. I know.
Starting point is 00:34:55 All that money has to go back to the mics, the internet hosting, the employees, and Matt. Okay, well maybe it'll be deductible for me. Yeah, just call it a tax write-off. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, there you go. So yeah, we'll'll be deductible for me. Yeah, just call it a tax write-off. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, there you go. So, yeah, we'll be writing off our booze. But you'll be going to MaximumFun.org slash join. Of course, there's the bonus content.
Starting point is 00:35:14 There's a bunch of other stuff that we'll be talking about a little bit later in the show. But, yeah, enjoy the rest of our It Takes Two episode and head over there to MaximumFun.org slash join. Beautiful. We're back. It's Free With Ads. We're talking about It Takes Two. So at this point in the movie, there's been these shenanigans with the house that the kids think is haunted. And that's kind of where the kids find the opportunity to switch places.
Starting point is 00:35:53 By accident. By accident. So the poor kid is now with the rich family and the rich kid is now at the summer camp with the poor kids. And the rich kid is now at the summer camp with the poor kids. Yes. And they don't quite understand why people are telling them they're a different person and treating them different. But they're just kind of going with it. They're going with it. They're yes anding.
Starting point is 00:36:17 And I want to say so. So they kind of figure it out at some point and decide to like play each other's roles. Yeah. And so they're each acting like, and this is a pretty complicated piece of acting to give a child actor. It's like you're one character pretending what you think the other character thinks you're like.
Starting point is 00:36:37 And this is a real May-December. This is their May-December. I'm going to go ahead and say it. Yeah. And Matt, I have this clip of what the poor kid does to act rich, and I think it's hilarious. I think she's great in this scene. Hello.
Starting point is 00:36:53 Good evening. How swell of you to come. So nice to see you. Like my dress? Escargot, Miss Calloway? Why, thank you, waiter person. I'm starving. I mean, I'd adore one.
Starting point is 00:37:15 This tastes like a balloon. It's snail's mousse. Good. Nice. Chewy. She's so good. She's really good in this. This tastes like a balloon.
Starting point is 00:37:30 I thought that was so funny. That was another thing we got endless jokes about as kids. Snails. Grown-ups eat snails. I loved it. When you get old, you're just going to eat snails all day. But I liked it because she's this orphan kid who's kind of used to, this is the food, you eat it. And so she just didn't ask what it was, just put it in her mouth and swallowed it.
Starting point is 00:37:54 Well, she didn't swallow it, she spits it out in a plant. But she was kind of polite about it. This is such a great, like, cliche rich person party. They're all just like listening to piano music one of them's name is muffie that was the classic like muffies and buffies those were all the like rich people in these these movies growing up god um so you know so she's like she's like improvising her way through this party they ask her to play the piano. She just bangs on the piano. That's a good scene. Yes. And at the end, dad's tucking her in and as he's leaving, she says,
Starting point is 00:38:31 I kind of like having a father. It's so cute. Oh, I know. Because she doesn't have a dad. She gets to play at having a dad. Yeah. Very cute. And then there's a montage to a Motown song and this is one of those little kid logic things that I love is she's always like cannonballing in the pool while the butler is giving her dad a drink and it like happens a couple times like the dad can't get this drink
Starting point is 00:38:54 and it just looks like a glass of orange juice well it probably is that's what grown-ups drink I love that it's that they don't even I mean maybe it's got vodka in it but it's probably a screwdriver. It might be a screwdriver. I think so. But I just like that kind of, the little kid logic
Starting point is 00:39:10 of like, Dad wants to drink juice! Dad loves juice! Yeah, that's true. I would be like, what would Dad really be drinking? I would think it'd be like I don't know, a pina colada or something like that at the pool. Yeah, sure. But, nope, Dad's just trying to get his vitamin C in.
Starting point is 00:39:25 Yeah, he's gonna... Dad, that juice has so much sugar in it, you better off just drinking a Coke. I just got it, Dad. Yeah. Don't die, Dad. Don't die of diabetes from pounding five orange juices a day.
Starting point is 00:39:37 So then we get to, and this is where I think this is also, like, they've really done the work to figure out, like, what little kid fantasies can we put into this. There's a whole horseback riding thing, right? Yeah. Were you a horse kid? No.
Starting point is 00:39:52 Okay. I wasn't either. My mom is a really good horseback rider. She had a horse when she was a kid. They had to sell it at one point. Oh, no. And then she worked for the people that bought the horse. So she had to like- She that bought the horse. So she had
Starting point is 00:40:05 to like. She would exercise the horse for them. Oh that's that is there's like a sad element to that but also kind of nice. Yeah. That means she maybe still got to be in the horse's life. She did. So she's really good at riding horses. So it was a southern girl thing is like you're kind of supposed to do it. Right. And I had to go to so many summer camps where they made me do it and I hated it. Hated it. I remember I was so nervous on a horse that it started to buck me at one point. Its name was Pepper. Fucking Pepper.
Starting point is 00:40:31 And I was like, please stop making me do this. Fucking Pepper. But that's being a kid is having to do shit that you really don't want to do. But I feel like that's one where it's like, I could die. Yeah. Right. I could die. But it was like bikes and horses for me.
Starting point is 00:40:45 I don't want to get on things that I could fall on. You still want to go fast. I don't like to drive. Okay. I don't want to do any of it. You don't like vehicles. Of any kind. Living or inanimate.
Starting point is 00:40:57 What is a horse but an out-of-control living vehicle? Yeah, exactly. So this is great. So this is kind of where they decide they're going to try and get Kirstie Alley and Steve Guttenberg together. Uh-huh. Oh, the shenanigans in this scene. So good. These are some shenanigans.
Starting point is 00:41:11 And they do it by they're going to kind of set up a situation where Kirstie Alley thinks she's going to die on these horses, these fucking death machines. Fucking crazy. But yes, this is a kid's imagination, it feels like. So they, I love this too, they shoot it with a slingshot. The aim. The classic rascals implement. Yeah. Every rascal needs their slingshot.
Starting point is 00:41:33 I sucked at slingshot. Did you ever try to do one? You know, I never had, my mom always like forbid us from having them. Really? You'll put your eye out thing. They are lethal. I had like a bad neighbor kid. He killed a squirrel in front of me.
Starting point is 00:41:46 At first I was like, cool, a slingshot. And then I was like, oh God, this is bad. I'm not hanging out with this kid no more. I had one because they were selling them at Cracker Barrel. You can buy anything at Cracker Barrel. Yeah, I got one, but I think because it was at Cracker Barrel it probably wasn't the best quality
Starting point is 00:42:01 slingshot. So it didn't go very far. My mom really put down her foot on the subject of weapon toys. So we didn't have laser tag guns. We didn't really have army guns. I think I had, we had water guns for the summer. Well, yeah, water guns. You gotta. But yeah, weapon toys, BB guns, we never had that.
Starting point is 00:42:21 Yeah, we didn't have BB guns. We have them now. Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah. At my parents' house, there's cans that my dad has mounted to a tree in the backyard, and they go back there and shoot them. Okay. It's kind of fun.
Starting point is 00:42:32 It's pretty fun. So Steve Guttenberg sees Kirstie Alley's out-of-control horse, and he saves her. And then they go and have an iced tea, like grown-ups do. Grown-ups are always drinking iced tea together. As somebody who um you know is trying to you know cut back on the drinking we had a great uh reddit commenter who was like it sounds like y'all have a drinking problem well well so shows what you know reddit commenter two out of the three of us do one is sober. Yeah, and I can confirm they are both drunk right now.
Starting point is 00:43:07 Shut up, man. Don't you dare make a drop out of that. I hate you. Don't make another fucking drop. They are drunk. They are drunk. But no, that's my drink of choice when I'm not drinking alcohol is if I go to a restaurant, I'm like, I want an iced tea.
Starting point is 00:43:26 I love an iced tea. I love iced tea. I'm not, hey, I wasn't speaking bad of iced tea. But it is the ultimate adult drink where it's like, oh no, I don't need alcohol. Oh, gross, mom. Get a soda. One of your, yeah. Yeah, they just have one of those giant, huge, whatever, liters of Coca-Cola, Mr. Pibb out
Starting point is 00:43:41 on the, by the pool. I just, I do. I love a glass of iced tea. And I love it in a pitcher. Out of a pitcher into a glass that a butler brings you. Emily, you wanted to talk about Steve Guttenberg's mommy issues a little bit more. Oh, my God. Okay.
Starting point is 00:43:56 The whole thing is just like, don't you want a mommy? You need a mommy. And then Kirstie Alley, he runs into a tree on his horse at one point. And he gets a cut on his head. And Diane, Kirstie Alley, she's a caregiver, one of the sexiest things that you can be as a woman. Which this woman clearly doesn't have any motherly, like the stepmother doesn't have any nurturing motherly bones in her body. And now he's experiencing what the, what a real woman is like.
Starting point is 00:44:27 And she's like, let me fix. I see way better, like way bigger scrapes than this or whatever. And she's putting like rubbing alcohol on his cut and he's like, ow, ow. And she's like,
Starting point is 00:44:36 Oh, you big baby come here. And then she's blowing on his, change your tidy. Yeah. And then she's like blowing on his forehead and then he just gets all goo goo eyed at her. And I'm like, are you kidding? This is like I feel like most men hate being babied like this.
Starting point is 00:44:51 This is just I don't know. Yeah. I definitely had a had a girlfriend who was a blackhead popper. And I I just never. I'm one of those. I know. Listen, I get it. It's a it's a. I can never. I'm one of those. I know. Listen, I get it. It's a, you know, maybe it goes back to our ancestors who had to groom lice off each other.
Starting point is 00:45:13 Listen, I don't have a lot of scabs to eat off myself anymore. I got to find it where I can. No, I think it was, I just had a boyfriend that had like, it was stuff on his head. Oh, yeah? He would sometimes get these white heads, and I would feel them when I was playing with his hair and be like, I'm going to have to get rid of these. I got to get rid of that. We're going to have to get it. And he's like, no.
Starting point is 00:45:36 And I was like, please, please let me do it. God, people are going to be so grossed out. I want to feel a puss. I want to feel a puss. Kind of. That's gross. Sorry. I want to feel the pus. I want to feel the pus. Kind of. That's gross. Sorry. Sorry, everyone.
Starting point is 00:45:48 So, okay. So they've kind of like started their flirtation. They've started like getting into each other. There's a little misunderstanding. His kid, the fiance calls. Kirstie Alley gets mad and runs away. But then he goes to like meet her in the dining hall, the kid's mess hall. Oh, wait, wait. We were going to talk about the gum in the hair.
Starting point is 00:46:09 Let's talk about the gum in the hair. Okay. So he gets the phone call while he's with Kirstie Allen. She's blowing on his head and he's getting a doinkle. A doinkle? Getting a doinkle? Yeah, it's called a doinkle. It's called a doinkle.
Starting point is 00:46:22 In a kid's movie, a boater is a doinkle. It's like a dong something. Okay, a doinkle. A dong doinkle. Oh called a doinkle. It's called a doinkle. In a kid's movie, a boater is a doinkle. It's like a dong something. Okay, a doinkle. A dong doinkle. Oh, my doinkle. Mommy, my doinkle. Gersh. I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:46:34 Daddy's got a doinkle. I don't know what's more gross, me talking about eating scabs or saying doinkle. Okay, but I guess our bad girl Amanda, when when she was hugging stepmom goodbye spit some gum in her beautiful blonde luscious hair and then she realizes it on her way to new york city and the hairdresser is trying just so so hard to get this gum out of her hair and i guess the legend like matt you said something about earlier about how food fights were something you thought you would run into a lot more as a kid and it just did not happen gum in the hair is something that I've always been
Starting point is 00:47:10 told if it happens you have to shave your whole head but you guys you can get gum out of your hair with Dawn dish soap oh that's a fun tip it's just it can get a lot of things out of stuff you ever tried Dawn power wash no it's the like Dawn that you spritz It's just, it can get a lot of things out of stuff. You ever try Dawn Power Wash?
Starting point is 00:47:25 No. It's the, like, Dawn that you spritz. Oh. You don't need any other cleaner. Dawn Power Wash cleans everything. Well, Dawn is, like, what they use to get the oil off of little baby ducks in an oil spill. I know, it's a miracle product. It is. But it won't get shit off my pants, for fucking sure.
Starting point is 00:47:41 But it does, like, yeah. So if you have gum in your hair, just use some of that. It's just like getting, you know. It's a great life hack. It is. So I'm just saying, that chick's hairdresser, amateur. Amateur hour. Yeah. So is it time to talk about the food fight?
Starting point is 00:47:57 Yes, but I also want to talk about the best hair of the movie. Oh, yeah. And I know that we have the worst wig of the movie, which is coming up, but best hair, Kirstie Alley at the 57 minute mark. Oh, yeah. And I know that we have the worst wig of the movie, which is coming up. But best hair. Kirstie Alley at the 57-minute mark. Oh, my God. This is the most beautiful hair I've ever seen in my life.
Starting point is 00:48:11 She looks great. And then there's a scene after this. We got a food fight and we got a jumping in the lake situation. And I would have sued if I were Kirstie Alley on that amazing hair day. Oh, yeah. You make me ruin my hair on the best hair day of my life. I've got to get a face full of sloppy Joe and then jump in an algae-filled lake. But I've got to say, I'm going to show a picture of that hair to probably my hairdresser and be like, we're going to have to grow out the bangs and we're going to this.
Starting point is 00:48:40 But anyway, yeah, let's get to the mess hall. Yeah, the mess hall. So, yes, it's a kid's movie. It's the 90s. You've got to have a food fight. Yes. And it starts when someone screams, food fight! Yes.
Starting point is 00:48:51 And then everyone just agrees to start the food fight. I would love, if you were a child actor in the 90s and you got to be in one of these scenes, please give us an email, freewithadsatmaximumfun.org. I would love that. What must filming one of these have been like? fun i've never been in a food fight no i don't think they i think it's it's you know it's one of these things it's it's you know it's quick sand it's just one of these things two kids in a trench coat trying to see a rated r movie it's never happened it's just a movie trope yeah um but so fun. I mean, I loved him as a kid.
Starting point is 00:49:27 I loved watching this one. They looked like they were having fun. He's smearing her with butter. And then, just because they're having the most fun day of all time, he suggests they clean off by going to jump in the lake. In blue jeans, which is kind of dangerous. In blue jeans. So there's a lot to talk about here in the lake. And I think it's time
Starting point is 00:49:44 for Hunk Watch. It's Hunk Watch. Woo! It's Hunk Watch. So, are we in agreement? Yes. That Steve Guttenberg is the hunk of this movie? Oh, yeah. He looks amazing.
Starting point is 00:49:53 Yes. Here's the question I want to ask. Is he jacked? How jacked is Guttenberg? He's pretty jacked. You put a few photos here. Yeah. So, in the movie, he, like most people in the movie, is wearing giant blazers most of the time.
Starting point is 00:50:08 Yep. But when he emerges from the lake. And his shirt is stuck. Is clinging to him. There's cum gutters, right? Gutenberg's got cum gutters. Yeah. Well, it's also the pecs and the shoulders.
Starting point is 00:50:21 But when he. I had no idea. He doesn't read as Jacked in the rest of the movie. He's sculpted, I think. He's very manly. But like, I don't know, when he walked up in that outfit before they got in the water too, I was like, oof, like the shoulders and everything. I was like, oh God, he's like, they both look very sexy when they approach each other before
Starting point is 00:50:43 this thing. And I was like, oh my God, these two, the chemistry, the whole thing. It's so hot. And then, yeah, he gets out of the water and you're like, look at the pecs. I was so I just paused the movie to Google Gutenberg shirtless 80s because I had to see proof. And the only thing I found is something from a memorabilia store, an online memorabilia store, memorabilia.expert.shop or whatever. It is a signed Steve Guttenberg shirtless photo from around that time. I think it is going for 79 bucks.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Oh, I wanted to buy it so bad. That's not too bad. And he does. He looks fucking amazing. He's shirtless, a little bit of some tighty-whities sticking up above the jeans. That is signed. Yeah. So I think he was jacked here.
Starting point is 00:51:26 He was. There's another movie. It's not free with ads. I'm very sad about it. Called Zeus and Roxanne. It's one of my favorite movies. Oh, is this the dolphin and the dog who are friends? Yeah, dolphin and a dog that become friends.
Starting point is 00:51:39 And he's like a jingles rider and dad. And then he rides motorcycles. So he has like a leather jacket and his butt in leather pants. If you think the shirtless thing is good. He's hot, hot, hot, hot. Talk about hunk watch. So they're flirting. They're playing in the lake.
Starting point is 00:52:00 And at this time I was like, these orphans are just unsupervised. These orphans are getting eaten by bears. You don't see any. Well, no, there are other counselors. We do see them eventually. So there's more than. So Kirstie Alley can go off and do her thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:15 We're not worried too much about these kids. She's like the head social worker or something. So this is kind of interesting. And again, going back to the little kid logic of this movie, at some point in this, she figures out that he's engaged, that she's engaged. And she says something like, what was this? Just one last fling. Ah.
Starting point is 00:52:36 And I was like, well, you just had a food fight and jumped in a lake. Is this a world where like the real story of this is they fucked, but this is just being filtered through a kid's understanding? And to a kid, a fling is when you have a food fight and jump in the lake, but there's a story underneath this movie about these two people where they had sex. If that's the case, then I have to play this thing. Fucking in the movie. Might have been. This might have. Them in the movie. Might have been. This might have. Them in the lake might have been the fucking.
Starting point is 00:53:08 Well, I guess for me, I've always thought that parents and things when I was a kid were so composed and stuff that they did not give in to any sexual desires until marriage. Right. Of course. When I saw that movie. But I thought that you could experience sexual desires until marriage. Right. Of course. When I saw that movie. But I thought that you could experience true love before marriage. Right. So there was a line in this movie that says, like,
Starting point is 00:53:31 the home run, knock it out of the park kind of love or whatever. Yeah, people have this, like, mantra. And I didn't know, is this, like, from something? No, it's her mantra that then the kid adopts. Because, like, she says it all the time about why she's never settled down. She's looking for that out of the park, home run, on your feet, grand slam love. Yes. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:53 I guess there's other baseball stuff in this movie. There's a lot. But yeah, so she says that. So it's like I think their experience is that, but there's no, they're clearly into each other and he's coming to see her at all this place. So it I guess it's suggestive of that. But it it seemed like they both knew that they were meant to be together. Right. And as a kid, I always think that's how it happens.
Starting point is 00:54:16 So within so this this is going on with the adults. Yeah. But meanwhile, in the kid's story. Yeah. The rich kid gets grabbed and taken to the Butkus's. They're like paperwork went through or something. It's so weird that they come to the camp to get her. They're so psycho.
Starting point is 00:54:34 Oh, I forgot this one part. So when they were doing the lake, when they're swimming in the lake, for some reason, scary, scary stepmom is at. She comes home early from the mansion and decides to look into the telescope randomly for no reason. Right. And then sees them together flopping around in the water. Sure. And gets mad and then decides to have the wedding the next day. Because she randomly looks into a telescope.
Starting point is 00:55:01 So weird. So the kids get separated. The rich kid gets taken to the butkises. The poor kid has to explain to the butler what was going on. And that's when we get the line, identical strangers? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:14 There's also one of my favorite comedy moments happens around when Kirstie Alley's character realizes that Amanda's been taken, who isn't really Amanda. And you can't see it, but can we play the clip? realizes that she's, Amanda's been taken, who isn't really Amanda. And you can't see it, but can we play the clip? You were supposed to protect her. You should have done something.
Starting point is 00:55:35 You could have slipped her tires or something, anything. They had the paperwork. What paperwork? We couldn't find you. Miss Van Dyke was here. What did you want us to do, lie in front of the van, for God's sake? I would have have i'm taking the jeep hey that's the camps oh she just like the classic sitcom take she's her delivery in this
Starting point is 00:56:00 it's just she is yeah like a comedic like she's a pro fucking brilliant pro i love her um so um so yeah let's let's sprint to the end here so you have the you have one kid at the butt kisses the wedding is about to go off they save the kid from the weird butt kiss family who has them all working in like a scrap yard yeah all these orphans are working like child labor in the scrap yard so the hel So the helicopter comes. It picks up the rich kid. It takes her to the wedding. So, oh, and kind of meanwhile, while the helicopter is going, the Kirstie Alley-like, you know, characters in the plot, they steal a horse-drawn carriage from New York.
Starting point is 00:56:40 I love it. So much fun. Oh, my God. And then they get to the wedding graduate style. Steve Guttenberg tells mean stepmom that he can't go through with it. She slaps him and then goes to slap the kids. Which was so crazy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:58 And the audience is just kind of watching it silently. No one's reacting or saying anything. And then they step on her train and it rips off and you see her garter garter and again the little kid logic of this movie she's wearing garters and just full butt panties for her wedding night the sexiest period panties oh god and then also i want to about the haircut, the wig that we ended up with on the stepmother after the gum disaster. Because she got gum in her hair, and so she has to get a new do. This is the worst wig in the movie. It's a pretty bad wig.
Starting point is 00:57:34 The worst hat. Yes, it is. Wig edition. Wig edition. It is so bad, and it's like you could have given her a chic kind of bob. Yeah. But it looks like Beetlejuice almost. It's so bad. So she looks crazier and crazier as the movie goes on. But yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:51 And I love like so all this is happening to the stepmom. And I imagine at least half this wedding audience. What do you call the audience of a wedding? Guests. The guests are her friends and family. Yeah. And when her train rips off and you see her underwear, everyone,
Starting point is 00:58:12 everyone in the church just points and laughs at her. No one cares. They all hate her as much as the audience does. Yeah. No one's sympathetic. That is some kid logic. And you know, like she,
Starting point is 00:58:24 she's an evil person person but she did just get turned down on her wedding day and i love how everyone's just like yes got her well she also tried to slap a child she did try to slap a child before she slapped the child when she slapped steve gutenberg i felt like everyone including like Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's characters and Kirstie Alley were like yeah he kind of deserved that it's just when he she tried to slap the kid you went okay
Starting point is 00:58:54 well now she's bad again but yeah but Kirstie Alley and Steve Gutenberg kiss in the horse drawn carriage and they both found that peanuts and cracker jacks seventh inning stretch love that they were looking for and they both found that Peanuts and Cracker Jack's seventh inning stretch love that they were looking for.
Starting point is 00:59:09 The end. Okay, before we talk about what we thought about this movie overall, let's talk about the best lines in this movie. Yes. Here's one that I think you and I both love. This is one of the first lines you hear evil stepmoms say
Starting point is 00:59:23 and it's so fucking evil. Look at this room. Now one of the women's dead. She had absolutely no taste. Can't wait to sell this house. Fucking savage. They want one bar set up in here. Like what does that even mean?
Starting point is 00:59:40 She died of tackiness. She was too tacky and fucking died. Well then I should be dead. You died as soon as you bought a Power Man 5000 shirt on eBay. How many? I've overdosed. I love your Power Man 5000 shirts. Thank you very much.
Starting point is 00:59:57 They're almost as good as my Trans-Siberian Orchestra shirts. A lot of good shirts out there. I'm rocking a vintage JNCOs shirt as we speak. But yeah, that just solidifies the absolute brilliance of the villain stepmom. She is just evil for no damn reason. And I like that. I don't need an explanation. Who needs a wound?
Starting point is 01:00:18 Who needs a complex villain? Just give me a fucking asshole. Give me someone you're going to root for their demise and enjoy it. Yeah, I love watching her because she's so, you hate her so much. Do you have a favorite line from the movie? I do. So when we got Alyssa, the rich girl at camp, and she's at the mess hall and they give her a sloppy joe. And she's looking at the other kids eating it and she's like, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:00:42 And then she eats it and it's like the most amazing thing she's ever eaten. And Carisiali's character is like... It's a visceral scene. Yeah, and she's just like kind of shocked at the reaction. She's like, this is your favorite. Like, what are you talking about? This is really good! Well,
Starting point is 01:01:02 of course it is, silly. It's your favorite. It is? Oh, yes, of course it is silly. It's your favorite. It is? Oh, yes, of course. The, um, um, big, gooey, messy burger. Also known as a sloppy joe. Sloppy joe. Right. Your favorite? Yes, and with darn good reason.
Starting point is 01:01:25 Did you just say durn? That's like what she thinks a poor kid says. They all say durn and dang it. I said durn a lot as a kid, and now I want to bring it back. Go durn it. Durn. I like just saying durn, girl. I think I'm going to say durn a lot more.
Starting point is 01:01:43 Say durn. Okay. Laura durn, Bruce durn, a lot of great durns out there.ern, girl. I think I'm going to say Dern a lot more. Say Dern. Okay. Laura Dern, Bruce Dern, a lot of great Derns out there. Yeah, okay. Well, hey, we're going to get to our ratings of this movie, but first, another announcement that we think you should hear. It's the MaxFunDrive. Hey, Emily.
Starting point is 01:02:07 Hi, Jordan. Do you want to hear about stuff? Of course. Well, if you go to MaximumFun.org slash join and give five bucks a month, you'll get all the bonus content we mentioned. But what do you get when you do 10? Well, you get a special enamel pin. There's an enamel pin for every MaxFun show, so you can get a pin from your favorite show. What's ours? I don't know, Emily.
Starting point is 01:02:30 What's it look like? Oh, it looks like it's Jean-Claude Van Damme's big, juicy ass. It is Jean-Claude Van Damme's big, old dumper. And he has a mullet? Yes. He's got a mullet? Yes. He's got a mullet. It is him doing the splits from Time Cop and Emily's now immortal catchphrase, Jean-Claude Van Dump Truck. That's right. You ever want to make your denim jacket make other people horny?
Starting point is 01:02:56 That's right. He's the turd cutter from Brussels. Jesus Christ. And he's splitting it up for you. Turd cutter. If that doesn't sell it, I don't know. If that, listen, if that doesn't get you to go to MaximumFun.org slash join. If that's not worth $10 a month, I don't know what money is for.
Starting point is 01:03:15 What are you paying for QVC Plus? What are you paying for Stars on demand. If there's a streaming service out there that you're not using, MaxFun would really, really love that money. MaximumFun.org. We got a bunch of stuff. We got a 90s bucket hat. Very fitting for today's 90s movie. Oh, my God, yes. Yeah, we got a 90s bucket hat.
Starting point is 01:03:39 We have a giant bag, Maximum Bag. That's right. This is a bag. You could fit both the Olsen twins in there. You could also fit Jean-Claude Van Damme's actual dump truck ass in there. You could. It's big enough. Giant bag is what people called me in high school.
Starting point is 01:03:54 Oh, fun. Well, this is called maximum bag, but if you want to just write Emily on the bag, you could. I just want everything to be about me, Jordan. No, it is. Okay. If you play this episode backwards, everything we say is about you. Oh! That's true. And some satanic messaging.
Starting point is 01:04:09 Yeah, well, that's still about me. That's true. Hail Satan. So, maximumfund.org slash join. There's a bunch of cool stuff you can get. But the most important thing is that you go there and get a great feeling
Starting point is 01:04:21 for supporting these podcasts that are brought to you by a worker-owned network, not a giant evil company, just some nice nerds looking to make some nice audio content for some other nerds. That's you. That is me? Oh, I was talking to the listener. I was calling them nerds.
Starting point is 01:04:37 Is that a good sales pitch? I don't know. I was like- Hey, Poindexter, give us some money. No, it's good. That's what you do. You gotta let the piggies know who's boss. I just feel very included.
Starting point is 01:04:49 Thank you for making me one of the nerds. Yes, listen. We love talking about movies. We love doing it together. We've wanted to do this for years. Yes. We're so glad MaxFun came along and made it happen. And if you're enjoying the show, MaximumFun.org slash join so we can do this till we die. Yeah, if you don't join, Jordan and I will cease
Starting point is 01:05:07 to be friends. That's true! The show will end, Emily and I will have a huge blowout. And I'll have to be like that middle friend who talks for each other. You know, like you guys say, tell Jordan he's an idiot. And you tell Emily, no, she's
Starting point is 01:05:24 an idiot. And I'll be like, I just don't like conversations. He'll be like, I have a child. Our friendship hangs in the balance. That's right. Maximumfun.org slash join. If you don't go there, you hate friendship. That's right. Bye.
Starting point is 01:05:38 Bye. We're back. This is Free With Ads, and we're going to tell you what we thought of It Takes Two. Of course, we're going to rank the movie on a scale of 1 to 10 super loud commercials, because that is what you will have to pay to watch this movie. I'll start. I had never heard of this. I was maybe bracing myself for a little bit of cringe, but
Starting point is 01:06:07 it was totally fun throughout. I really miss this style of kids movie. I don't know if they still make them. I get the impression that they don't really make these anymore. I think the Olsen twins were a special breed. They were special. And this was really fun, really funny. A lot of goofy sitcom acting. I think
Starting point is 01:06:24 if you have kids and you're kind of tired of whatever kids junk there is out there and you want to put on something that maybe you will like too, I think It Takes Two is a great choice. I'm going to give it a six. I think it is a six out of ten. Kind of a, yeah, it's a really sneaky fun classic movie. Okay. I'm giving it a tippy ten. A ten. Wow.
Starting point is 01:06:53 A tippy headren ten. I could tell you I saw it coming. I know this is a special one for you. Yeah. I respect it. I watched it three times. Wow. And I had fun.
Starting point is 01:07:06 That's a lot of times. Every single time. Okay. It just makes me feel, I don't know, it feels like a friend in the room, which is like, I think I describe watching Free With Ads a lot. Like it's, you know the term shadowing? I don't. Where it's like, a lot of times it's an ADHD kind of thing where your friend comes over and hangs out while you do something you don't want to do.
Starting point is 01:07:24 Okay. Like clean your room or something. So this is like, I put it on and then I do the dishes and do all the stuff I don't want to do. And I feel happy about doing it. So I absolutely. So it's kind of like meditation for you. Yeah, I guess it takes two is my, uh, little John. Oh, well, speaking of which let's play a little bit of that right now. Oh yes. Lil Jon. Oh, well, speaking of which, let's play a little bit of that right now. Oh, yes. Now imagine yourself in a place that makes you feel safe and secure.
Starting point is 01:07:52 I will, Lil Jon. Could it be in your arms? Maybe you're sitting on a Caribbean beach. Or a Greek island. Or just in your bedroom. These are the things that I do while you guys are talking about movies. No wonder it took you so long to get the quotes up. You're just sitting there editing Sting with L.A.
Starting point is 01:08:17 A little jump. I'm so centered. I'm so relaxed. Honestly, that is amazing. Yeah, it works, guys. It does work. It works. Okay, that was It Takes Two.
Starting point is 01:08:28 As of this recording, it is streaming free with ads. We think you should check it out. Yes. And now we're going to talk about some other stuff we think you should check out that we're up to. Hey, if you're looking for more stuff to watch with kids, I got a suggestion. It is on a paid streaming platform, which I know we all hate here at Free With Ads, but if you're plunking down the money for Max, some animated shows I worked on
Starting point is 01:08:53 have been coming out on Max. There's a new season of Jellystone up there. That is a goofy kids comedy about all the stray Hanna-Barbera characters. We're talking about Yogi and Boo Boo, Squidly Diddly, Jabberjaw, all those weird 60s animated characters that we grew up with three runs of.
Starting point is 01:09:12 There's a really, really funny show on Max involving all those characters. I wrote for the third season. It is out. It is really, really funny. I'm so proud of how it turned out. Check out Jellystone. And also, there's a new season
Starting point is 01:09:24 of the Tiny Toon Adventures reboot, which I wrote two episodes of. And it was a blast. I loved Tiny Toons as a kid, and I got to write a couple episodes, and they really turned out gorgeous. A friend of the show, Alison Becker, was the head writer on that, and really, really fun to work with.
Starting point is 01:09:40 And yeah, there's new Tiny Toons, and they're really, really fun and funny. So check out Jellystone. Check out Tiny Toons. Whether or not you have kids or if you just like a funny cartoon, they're all up there on the Max app. I can't believe I'm friends with you. I can't believe I am me. I'm me.
Starting point is 01:09:59 It's amazing how much stuff you do. I don't know how you do it all, Jordan. You just got to keep that health insurance going. Oh, hell yeah. You just got to get enough points to keep the health insurance going. Oh, hell yeah. Just gotta get enough points to keep the health insurance. Emily, what do you got going on? Okay, well,
Starting point is 01:10:09 I've got an Etsy store, Phlegm Gems, where I sell jewelry and I'm constantly uploading more stuff onto there. And also, the Mythical Cookbook is out. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:23 For Good Mythical Morning, Rhett Link and Josh Shearer, the chef that does Mythical Kitchen and Good Mythical Morning Food. The book is available, I think, Amazon, Barnes, like every available bookstore. You're in the book. I am. So cool. I'm in the cookbook. I had so much fun doing it.
Starting point is 01:10:42 I got to have my Peggy Bundy hair fantasy put up and everything. I felt so glamorous. So that's available. Check it out. Now, is that a Peggy Bundy or is that a Mrs. Buttkiss? What did you tell them you wanted? It's a Peggy. Mrs. Buttkiss, I was a little offended when you said Mrs. Buttkiss looked like Peggy Bundy. No, I don't think so.
Starting point is 01:10:59 I mean, Peggy Bundy's an icon. She is. Yeah, Peggy Bundy is an icon. We stan a horny icon. A horny legend. Yes, yes, yes. A horny legend. All right, that's Free With Ads. Tune in next week when our movie will be Grease 2. The second one.
Starting point is 01:11:17 We'll see you next week. Bye. That was our episode on It Takes Two. We wanted to say one more time that we're loving all the folks who are going to MaximumFun.org. Slash join. If you've done that, here's what you do. Send us an email. Free with ads at MaximumFun.org.
Starting point is 01:11:35 You send us a screenshot of your receipt. Let us know you joined up. And we will be picking one listener at random to pick a movie for us. Yes. picking one listener at random to pick a movie for us. Yes. We've already had some great emails from folks who have some very crazy favorite movies. So we're really looking forward to watching one of these things. If you have a favorite crazy movie on Free With Ads or a favorite great movie, let us
Starting point is 01:11:59 know. We want to watch it. And it could be Free With Ads on YouTube, Tubi, or Pluto. Wherever it's free with advertisements, we will take your recommendation. That's true. Free with ads at MaximumFun.org. Let us know that you went to MaximumFun.org. Send us that screenshot and a couple of your favorite free with ads movies,
Starting point is 01:12:17 and we will be picking one lucky listener to hurt us good with that weird, weird movie pick. And I don't care how late it is at night, email us. Oh, yeah. We want to see some come in at 3 a.m. I want to suspect that you were joining MaxFun while drunk. If you're drunk now, now's the perfect time to go to the website. And we're drunk, too, and we're reading our emails. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:44 We love to read your emails late at night. We are up. If you're drunk too and we're reading our emails. Oh yeah, we love to read your emails late at night. We are up. If you're asking us if we're up, we are. We are. We're reading your emails. Always.
Starting point is 01:12:51 I need to sleep more. I have a problem. Maximum Fun A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.

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