Free With Ads - The Birds (1963)

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

Finally, a classic movie is available for free... with ads! Hosts Emily Fleming and Jordan Morris watched Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds on this week's Free With Ads.Please pre-order "Youth Group" on Booksoup and get a signed and personalized message from Jordan Morris! Please keep it PG-13 but feel free to make it weird! DIRECTIONS: When you are purchasing it on Booksoup, at the end of the shopping cart page you can write what you want Jordan to say in the section that says “Use this area for special instructions or questions regarding your order."

Welcome Welcome to Free With Ads, the podcast that asks the question, why pay the Criterion Channel 12 bucks a month to watch classic movies when you can watch The Birds on YouTube for free with the added bonus of the Coneheads movie autoplaying after it's finished. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is the 1963 classic The Birds, the story of two 50-year-old young people

whose toxic relationship is interrupted by all the birds in the world attacking them for some reason. Before we break down this movie, which is at the time of this recording, streaming free with ads, and by the way, we're going to break down this movie that you watched for the first time today, right?

Yes. Oh, man. I can't wait. And our producer, Matt Lieb, has also watched it for the first time. Really? I did. As my first Hitchcock as well. You've never seen a Hitchcock?

I've never seen a Hitchcock. Oh, my God. You never hitched? You never cocked? I never hitched. I never cocked. Jerry, he's never hitched. You never saw Rear Window?

No. Oh, wow. Okay, great. I can't wait. This is going to be a blast. I'm so excited. This is kind of an all-timer for me. I can't wait. This is going to be a blast. I'm so excited. This is kind of an all-timer for me. I'll show my ass a little bit up top.

Nice. But before we get into the birds, we're going to talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week. Other free stuff. I'm going to go first. Okay, this requires a little bit of setup. Emily, you have not seen this clip. You'll be watching it for the first time.

It needs a little bit of context. This is a video posted to Twitter of a twerking contest. In this twerking contest, you have a man laying flat. Okay. And then you have a twerker twerking over him. Oh, I love it. And you have hundreds of people watching. Whoa.

This thing is packed. This is the hottest ticket in town. There are so many people watching this twerking contest. So you'll see the twerker twerking, and then everyone slowly realizes that the man who was laying down has ejaculated. Now, Emily, why don't you pull up that video and let's watch together. Twitter is wild. The fact that there's stuff like this, Twitter just, you could put anything on there. Yeah.

It's crazy. I think it's better after Elon got a hold of it personally. I love that it still says Twitter.com even though it's supposed to be X. He didn't manage to do that. Okay, here we go. He's working on it. Yeah, he's twerking on it. Oh, good. Oh, good.

It's like he's proud of it. Why isn't he getting up? Everyone is going insane. It's like the size of a silver dollar, that stain. He's coming in pants. He's coming in pants. He's coming in pants. But it doesn't even look like he has a boner. Okay, listen.

I don't want to attempt to explain the biology of what went on. Okay, fair enough. But the reaction to this is like on SNL when they're doing an impression of the politician and the real politician sneaks up behind them. People go, ah! People flip out. The DJ starts remixing it. Everyone is going insane.

And the guy is just laying there. And he even does like a little, like he features it with his hands. Right. Like he's like. Is this guy just like leaning in? Is he like, all right, this happened. You know, I'm going to make fun of myself before everyone else can. Or is that this guy's kink?

Is he competing or is the twerker competing? I think that whatever it was, I think she won. Yeah. I think she won. Who won and who lost in this situation? I mean. It feels like everybody won. I think so.

I mean, he got a little bit of come out. Yeah. She twerked so good he came. And everyone in the audience is super stoked that he's coming in pants. And the remix of that is sure to climb the charts. I mean, I would listen to it. That's at least going to be a hit ringtone. Oh, yeah.

Is he married? That's a great question. I don't know. I don't see a ring. Someone who can finish that easily. I could get a lot of work done. Oh, right. Yeah.

If he's single, that would be great. Sure. Well, if cum in his pants twerk guy is listening. Yeah. Show me that blurry face. So that's what I saw on the internet for free this week. Emily, what did you see for free? Okay, hang on.

Let me show it to you on my phone. Okay. Matt has pointed out that this is likely AI, which I'm not a huge fan of AI, of course, but it is a juicy, juicy Kool-Aid man. Okay. That, look at his ass. Yeah.

I'll go ahead and say it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The internet's ability to sexualize something is, it's always getting to new levels. Yes. And it's always impressive. This is amazing.

Yes. I feel like this is my brownie situation like i'm i totally get it he's got cum gutters cum gutters what's that mean that's the little the muscles on the side you know like the d'angelo music video the dick root yeah well no not the root it's like on the side of the pelvis. Yeah, okay, yeah. I know what you mean. But I guess instead of cum dripping into the gutters, it's delicious fruit punch.

Punch gutters, he's got. Punch gutters, yeah. Oh my God, I do see the drippings. It's condensation. Yeah. Because he's a glass jar. More like cum-densation. No, I will say.

What is this podcast? are coming we're gonna talk about a classic movie the birds is a classic i know we're this is a classic film podcast for film lovers this this is like our smuttiest opening we've ever had so the mascot that i have seen sexualized the most is probably Tony the Tiger. Tony the Tiger, a furry legend. You know, show me them flakes, daddy. What are the comments saying under this? I'd blow that glass.

Hey, there you go. There you go. Comment that. Comment that. Comment that. Clip that. Clip that. Okay, I'm going to do it, but tag you in it.

But also, it's like, why is this oddly wholesome? This is so funny. Yeah, right. Kool-Aid, I think, suggests all the kids are over at your house. Mom brings out a pitcher. Everybody's sweating from too much tetherball. And there is something kind of, you know, mom brings out Kool-Aid and Rice Krispie Squares.

Oh, I love Rice Krispie Squares. Yeah, they're good. Yeah, but now imagine a Rice Krispie treat with abs that fucks. I mean, there's got to be a Snap, Crackle, and Pop going to town on each other. All right, I'm looking it up now. It'll be like Tom of Finland. There's got to be a Tom of Finland, Snap, Crackle, and Pop somewhere. I'm just seeing pick it up now. It'll be like Tom of Finland. There's got to be a Tom of Finland snap, crackle, and pop somewhere.

I'm just seeing girls dressed as them. Well, send me that link. I do not want to see that. Yeah, send me that link and we'll talk about it later. Okay, sounds good. Send us your nastiest cereal mascots. Yeah, send us some nasty, juicy cereal mascots. Hit us up online.

Yeah. All right, so we have a classic film to talk about. I'm a little intimidated about talking about this. But I'll say this movie, very horny in its own way. It is. It's a ton of women and like one guy. Right. And yes, and all the women, including mommy, wants the attention of Mitchie.

I know. It's so weird. It's totally weird. Also. You know, I don't know. Matt, I know you're new to Hitchcock. Emily, maybe you've only seen a few. The guy might have had a mommy issue or two. Oh. The guy might have had a mommy issue or two. He keeps calling her dear.

God. Okay. Yes. What is that? Let's go there. Let's get into The dear. God. Okay, yes. What is that? Let's go there. Let's get into The Bird. Yes. 1963. Directed by Alfred Hitchcock. It opens on the streets of San Francisco.

Our lead, Melanie, played by the great Tippi Hedren. Gorgeous. She's going into a pet shop. Somebody whistles at her. And she likes it. She likes it because she's a modern gal. Yeah.

And for that, maybe she must be punished. I don't know. We gotta see. Yeah, there's a little of that. Does this movie like or hate modern women? Hard to say.

So she goes into a pet shop. Alfred Hitchcock does his cameo. He's coming out walking a couple of dogs. Lots of fun. We love the cameo. Not since M. Night Shyamalan has a director made such a couple of dogs. Lots of fun. We love the cameo. Not since M. Night Shyamalan, as a director,

made such a compelling cameo. So she's in this pet store, and in walks Mitch. Right. And she immediately wants to jump his bones and just gives him this slow, longing look that is fucking filthy. I know.

The looks in this movie, the way people, the way he just pauses on someone like mentally devouring another character. She's like so, and this was like one of her, I think this is her first movie ever. Yeah, something like that. And it's like, this is a one of her, I think this is her first movie ever. Yeah, something like that. And it's like, this is a one in a million actress. She's amazing.

She's so fabulous. But my favorite thing, that pet store is so gorgeous. It is a good, yeah, it's a very beautiful pet store. I think I'm going to create a Pinterest page of like the birds pet store aesthetic. Because I think I want my whole apartment to look like this. it's pet store aesthetic because I think I want to I want my whole apartment to look like right it's so clean and gorgeous not like the you know shit covered newspapers that are in pet stores today right um but yeah there was and then she pretended to because he thought that she worked there yes it's a it's a little it's a little meet cute it's's a little screwball comedy. And that's kind of an amazing thing about this movie.

Yeah. Is that this first part is like his girl Friday or bringing a baby. But later on in the movie, an old man has his eyes ripped out. Yeah. And it's like, it is wild that these two tones are in the same movie. And I think it was by design. I read a little blurb from the screenwriter saying like he wanted you to kind of think you were in a rom-com and then you get swept in by the horror. It totally works. It's totally

yeah, it's like absolutely jarring in a really, really cool way. It's true, but I wanted to talk about her salesmanship when she was pretending to work there. Oh yeah, this is great. And this is like a funny gag, right? Like nobody's getting their eyes ripped out later in the movie. You've, this is great. And this is like a funny gag, right? Like nobody's getting their eyes ripped out later in the movie. You've got this fun bit. No, it's just like it reminded me of every store I've ever worked in. Because she's kind of faking her way through it, right?

That's all I did. It was fake my way through every place I ever worked. Because he's like, I want to buy some lovebirds. And he's like, aren't these them? And she's like, no, they're red birds. And they are red. They were red birds. It are red it's great it's yes it is the the first the first iteration of that steve carell i love lamp joke yeah well she um is kind of like a unreliable character she lies a lot yeah and i don't know i like her she's shady she's from

the big city and i think what we what we learn later on in the pet store is that, so he's a lawyer and recognized her from a trial where she did, she like broke a window as a prank or something. Yeah. And later on we find out that she's been in the tabloids because she went swimming nude in a fountain in Rome. But she says she fell in, but do we buy that? I don't know. Yeah.

So she's like, you know, the 60s are starting. She's like a modern woman. She's not married. And she's rich. She's like kind of an heiress. Yeah, she's a newspaper heiress. Her dad, like, runs the newspaper. Yeah, she's like a Lydia Hurst or something.

Yes, exactly. She's the original Nepo baby, I'd say. And can just go on long weekends to do pranks. When you have generational wealth, you can just follow someone up the coast to prank them. Yeah. Because you don't have anything to do. And get in a boat. Yeah.

Just to deliver some birds to someone secretly. So she, okay. So in the pet stop, you know, he kind of reveals that he knows who she is and he was just there to kind of fuck with her. And so she decides to, like, fuck with him back. Yeah. And so she gets these two birds and has her dad, someone at her dad's office run his plates. So, like, already. Fucking stalker shit.

Insane stalker. Okay. Who, what movie has the more toxic relationships? This movie or last week's He's Just Not That Into You? There was a lot of He's Just Not That Into You because also Annie. Oh yeah. We'll get into Annie who just lives in this small town to be near the guy that doesn't want her. Wild. Wild.

Wild! Okay, so she runs his plates, finds out where she lives, finds out where he lives, and then delivers these birds to his house and just wants to leave them at the door until the world's bitchiest neighbor comes out. And this neighbor, who just info info dumps everything she needs to know to her, I think is our tallest person in the movie. Tallest

guy. Oh, this dude. What'd you think? Do you think he's the tallest person in the movie? Who's taller than this guy? I don't know. I think, yeah, for sure. I didn't notice his height, to be honest. Yeah, pretty tall, I think. Yeah. He didn't make an impact on me, I'm going to be real.

That's okay. I don't remember this guy. But it's very important that we have a tallest person in the movie because it justifies the sting that I just played. Matt made the sting. All right. Yeah. That's another classic movie we should watch, The Sting. Oh, we got to watch The Sting.

Can you imagine the stings I make for The Sting? Oh, those are going to be some good Sting stings. Maybe you could include some music from Sting. Hey, you mean the police? Wait, I don't remember this guy. Can you tell me where? Okay, so she, I love this guy. I was obsessed with this guy.

He's got a little pencil thin 60s guy mustache. Yeah. So it's in the hallway of his apartment, of Mitch's apartment. She's leaving the birds and he's just like, are you sure you want to do that? Mitch went away for the weekend. Here's where he went

and just tells her everything but with this like, you know, girl kind of look on his face. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. It's really funny. He's gossipy.

And he's pretty tall. Okay. Yeah, I think that I was like going, okay, there was a really cute dog at work today. Oh, yeah, no, I get it. I think that certain moments I got a little distracted because of the cute dog. You were watching the movie at work? Yeah.

Okay. All I can hope is that we just zoned out at different parts of the movie and we can fill each other in on what we zoned out during. Well, I think I'm getting better at not zoning out at certain parts of the movie. This did hook me. I was watching it, and there was a lot of stuff going on, and then it just hooked me. Because everything's just fun and whatever, but then the minute the first action starts, it's like I'm zoned in. It took like 30 minutes or more.

It was like a good quarter of the movie yeah birds don't show up for a while birds no yeah and you're waiting and you see birds yeah but you're like well these aren't the birds it's like over an hour before things get intense before there's birds but it's still you wanted more birds i wanted more birds but then when the birds came i was a lot of birds like that's perfect i think it was for me a perfect amount because i was really engaged in the story because she's insane. Yeah, totally. I love this movie because it's just like, if you're hot and rich, you can literally do whatever the fuck you want. I just loved how anytime she asked someone for something, they went, okay.

And then she'd really ask for too much sometimes. And people would just go, sure. And I was like really ask for too much sometimes. Right. And people would just go, sure. And I was like, I want to live in this town. Just like everyone gives her, like, just like the neighbor gives her all the information she needs. Yeah. So she goes, he's staying in Bodega Bay. It's a little, like, seaside town. Is that a real place?

It is not, I don't think. Matt, look it up. I don't think it's real. But if it is, I owe you all a million dollars. Including you, the listener. Not legally binding. It is real.

Whoa! Is it where they say it is? It's where they say it is. Right near Sonoma, right near Santa Rosa, which they shout out a few times in the movie. I want to go. It is a real place, Bodega Bay. I will say, when I saw Bodega Bay for the first time, this place that is apparently real that I thought was fake, I got this vibe like, this is the kind of place where you take the kind of vacation I don't like.

Where you just rent a house and sit around and do puzzles. Yes. You like those. Well, when I was a kid, I remember I hated them. And now I really want to do that. Now you're kind of into them? I want to be cozy in a sweater. A lot of people like this kind of vacation.

I think I'm wrong. Well, my family went to Maine this one time. Oh, yeah. This seems very Maine-y, including the accents of the people in this movie. Good morning. Good morning. I wonder if you could help me. Well, time of best.

I'm looking for a man named Mitchell Brenner. Yeah. Do you know him? Yeah. Where does he live? Right here, Bodega Bay. Yes, I know. I'm sorry, I've got a Stephen King novella

to appear in later. He just gives her, she's like, where is it? And he's like, it's right there. I'll tell you exactly, I'll tell you how to find a man and how to find a child whose name you don't know. I'm going to tell you how to find a child there. And also a lady who will know the child's name because I'm going to send you to her school. Like, this is some straight up crazy behavior.

Like, and then the boat. I was impressed that she could operate the boat. I'll be honest. He gives her a little boat to go across the lake to Mitch's house. And she's like, I don't want them to see me. And he's even helpful then. It doesn't occur to this guy that this woman is doing something shady. Yeah, because she's like, he goes, you'll get right to her front door.

And she goes, but I want the back door. And he's like, well, you're going to have to go across the bay. When they go to sleep and a window that stays propped open. Yeah, it's fucking insane. Here's a silencer for your gun, so no one hears you kill them. Jeez Louise.

Okay, so she goes across the bay and decides that she's going to give the birds instead, not to Mitch, but to his little sister Kathy. Which is so weird because his mom, Jessica Tandy, love her, is like gray-haired and looks, and so she's got like a 40-year-old son and a fucking 12-year-old daughter, and it's like, what is up?

This is a good time to talk about this. How old is everyone and how old are they supposed to be? Yeah. Because, I mean, okay, listen. I think it's the 60s and I think when you're an adult you just look 50 because you're constantly chain smoking and you drink whiskey at 10 a.m. Oh, my God. There was so much delicious chain smoking in this movie. Oh, I like the smoking.

It made me want to smoke so bad. I wanted to smoke while I watched the movie. Yes. Smoking is cool. Yeah, so the ages of the, and so yeah, Mitch looks as old as his mom, who just looks like she has some gray paint in her hair. Yeah, she's beautiful. Yeah, and right, and they have this, he has a teen sister somehow.

Yeah. And right. And they have this, he has a teen sister somehow. Yeah. And yes, as you alluded to earlier, he calls his mom dear. He calls her dear. And they have like chemistry. Yeah. It's so weird to me because also I feel like Jessica Tandy looks so much like Tippi Hedren. Yeah. The hairstyle is just about the same.

Yeah. looks so much like Tippi Hedren. Yeah. The hairstyle is just about the same. Yeah, and I think that's probably an intentional, like, you know, the guy's got mommy issues. She kind of looks like your mom. Yeah, and then she becomes Melanie's mommy at a certain point, kind of at the end.

So I think this is just everyone's mommy. Yeah. Everyone's mommy and everyone's daddy. Yeah, I honestly thought that Melanie kind of became Lydia's mommy at some point. Sure. Yeah. Being very comforting to her.

But yeah, I like Jessica Tandy's character, but she's so beautiful. Yeah. And youthful looking. Yeah. She does. Yeah. Everyone looks about the same age. She was 53 when she did the movie.

Oh, interesting. Okay. I don't know how old Rod Taylor was. Now I'm like very... 75. When he did the movie? Yeah. No, he was 33.

Okay. Is he supposed to be like in his 20s? Absolutely not. It seems like they're supposed to be like these young kids. He looks old as fuck. Sorry. But it's hot to look like an older guy.

Yeah. Okay. So yes. We kind of meet this family. How old is anyone? We don't really know. And I think it's about this time when the birds start to attack. Oh, Tippi Hedren was also 33, so she was

discovered in her 30s. Oh, well there you go. She was already modeling and stuff was discovered in her 30s. Oh, well, there you go. She was already modeling and stuff. If you're out there and you're listening, it's not too late. It's not too late. Follow your dreams. Tippi Hedren was an ancient 33. Yeah.

I'm fucked. I'm way past that. No, Emily, I bet you could get abused by a- Oh, we said it at the same time. By a megalomaniacal director who tortured his actors, who he openly hated. Yeah, lots of fun. So, okay. So that's when we start to get these bird attacks.

There's a little party for these kids. Well, she gets attacked by one in that little shitty boat. Right, yeah. So we get some soft bird attacks. little like party for these kids. Well, she gets attacked by one in that little shitty boat. Right. Yeah. So we get some like soft bird attacks. Yeah. And the blood is just so realistic. Yeah.

Boy, they really hadn't gotten a handle on blood. Yeah. But Psycho was before this. Right. And they had had good blood. It was in black and white. Yeah. True.

Black and white blood is easy to do. It felt like the consistency in Psycho was a lot more congealed. This just looks like watercolor. Yeah, it does look like the paint you use in kindergarten. And maybe that was kind of a censorship type thing. Yeah, maybe you're right. You can't make it look too real or something. Yeah, maybe they had movie code stuff they were dealing with.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and right. Well, all the sex in this movie is just people looking at each other for a long time. Well, no, there's a moment in the movie that I think is alluding to them having sex. Uh-huh. Do you want to know? Sure.

So, well, no, I think that we should, the guy with the no eyes, this is like, so the... Yeah, so the birds are starting to attack no one really knows why it's happening they're swooping boy they make awful noises they sound like cats yeah the bird noises are really freaky i actually i have a clip of the first big bird attack would no, oh. It's a winner, winner, winner. It's a winner, winner, winner.

It's a winner, winner, winner. I hate you, I hate you so much. It's a winner, winner, winner. Well it's funny. Now play the sound of the crowd realizing the guy came in his pants. It's a winner, winner, winner. It's a winner, winner, winner. You can twerk to that song, huh?

Absolutely. Yeah, okay. I couldn't. So the birds, they're starting their attack. We should also maybe explain Annie a little bit. She is the... My favorite character in the whole movie. Yes, she is the brunette Veronica to Melanie's blonde Betty.

That's a great way to describe it. She moved to this town to be near Mitch, and they had a thing, but they don't anymore. They look at each other like they want to get it on. Yeah, everybody looks at it. Except for the little girl. The little girl's kind of like... Yeah, they smartly do not sexualize the child. I appreciate that.

But everyone else is just like, it's on. Are you my family member? Whatever. But yeah, Annie is definitely my favorite character because she's just like a girl's girl too. She knows that, you know, Tippi Hedren's character is there as a romantic type thing. And she's like-

But still lets her stay at her house. Yeah, she's like, I get it. I totally get it, girl. And she's, but she's like settled for friendship with him. And it seems like she's fine with it. She just wants to be near him. Right. In this amazing house by the ocean, by the way. Oh my god. Okay.

So I think she's a teacher. She's Kathy, his little sister's teacher, which also stalkery. She's like, yeah, I'll be a school teacher so I can be around his sister. Yeah, sure. I know. And then I can be around the bleh bleh bleh. Unhealthy attachments in this movie. Oh my god. A lot of anxious attachment

issues. Yeah, it's fuck. But she's gorgeous and very helpful. A lot of smoking. She offers her a cigarette. And I was like, this is my kind of girl right here. Smoke, smoke, smoke. And yeah, her little house is so cute. And they gossip a lot.

And there is the first indication that maybe his mom is a little more, you know, controlling than you would think. She's got like, she's very attached. Sure. Because she kind of got in the way of Annie and his relationship. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So.

So yeah, so we're having these bird attacks and mom goes to a nearby farm. She apparently bought some chicken feed that the chickens don't like. She's going to get her money back. I was positive. Maybe the first, I don't know. Wait, wait. We didn't mention the fireplace. Oh, yeah.

The birds come in through the fireplace. That scared the shit out of me. But there was the birthday party. The kids are all getting pecked. Hilarious. Yeah, it's funny. And then they're in the house thinking they're fine. And you're like, finally, they're in the house.

They're fine. And this is why it was so scary because it's like, fuck, nowhere is safe. Absolutely nowhere. And just tons of birds come through their fireplace, through the chimney. And it's just chaos. It is. And I remember looking at it and going, wow, the effects are fucking rad in this movie. Yeah, they really, it does like look cool

and it does stress you out. It stresses you the fuck out. And I was like, well, what the fuck are they going to do? If they go outside, they're going to get pecked to death out there. And I don't know, he like covered up the fireplace with like a cushion. I remember that and was like, oh yeah, that'll do it.

Right. I know, that's the most half-assed way to solve that problem. Yeah, but both of these things happened. It was terrifying. They called the law that come out and they just don't believe anything that happened, which is wild. Nobody believes it,

even though it's happening over and over. And then she goes out to the farm to get her money back. Right. And you're like, do you not remember the birding that just happened to you? Yeah, the chaos does happen pretty gradually in this movie. They have a lot of indications that something is wrong. And they're just- Well, I got to get this $4 back for this chicken feed.

What the fuck, lady? I know. I got to run an errand. You got to run an errand. So she goes to this farm and it feels like a little bit of a weird missed opportunity. It's like, oh, the chickens aren't eating. The chickens aren't eating. We never see those chickens attack people because it's like

they weren't hungry for feed. They're not hungry for blood. Or human meat. Anyway, whatever. I don't mean to give this classic movie notes. Oh, I think there's notes. Okay. So, okay. She goes to the farm to get her money back. Nobody's there.

She goes upstairs. She sees evidence of the birds crashed in. And then we get this multi-phase push-in shot of the farmer with his eyes pecked out. It is so scary. It is fucking terrifying. Still, it is really gross. I knew it was coming. There's no music either.

And there's not like, there's not, I don't think there's any music in this movie. Not much at all. There's only the weird bird shrieking. And then. There's no post credits. Only like the credits at the top of the movie with just the shrieking. Yeah, exactly. And then the, right.

And then you just hard cut to the Universal logo after they drive off in the movie. That's it. It's terrifying. It's really abrupt. And it is. It's really scary. It throws you off balance. But I'm going to go ahead and declare the eyeless farmer the hunk of the movie.

It's Hunk One. Can you imagine this guy with a couple of baby blues? Obviously not in the state he's in. But imagine if he just had piercing blue eyes. This would be the hunk of the movie. Oh, my God. I definitely did not pick. I mean, I think it's safe to say that our main dude is a hunk, a don't Rod Taylor.

You're a Mitch fan. I'm a Mitch fan, but I think because there's not that many dudes, I'm going to say a babe of the movie instead of a hunk. Oh, sure, please. I'm going to twist it. It's Annie. Annie is such a babe. Yeah. Also lost her eyeballs.

Did she get her? I didn't know she had her eye. I didn't catch that. She did because they find her just strewn out. She saves Kathy, the little girl, though. Yeah. But she's on her back down the stairs. And then you could see Mitch Brenner, like, he leans down and he covers her eyes so that

Tippi can't, Melanie can't see. And there's blood coming down. These fucking birds love eyes. Yeah. Brutal. I know. I was like, wait. I've seen a lot of movies and stuff where people get their eyes gouged out and they just keep living.

Do they like go through the eyes and then peck out the brain? Amazing question. I don't know. That's a great point. Right. Because you, you know, you could, you know, our good friend Oedipus would tell you that one can live without eyes. Yeah. I mean, so it's like, how are they killing them?

And the blood is always in random places where it's like there's not even a cut cut there it's just like smudged blood yeah there's yeah i guess right yes this movie is not medically accurate i don't think but it's just it kind of never tells you what did they do to kill these people other than the eyes thing sure exactly and right do they just eat maybe the eyes are just fucking delicious yeah i bet they are they are. And they're like, okay, we're done. We don't want to eat any of the other parts of this human. My favorite thing about the guy, the farmer who had the no eyes, is they do this kind of slow scan to reveal him. And the first is they look at his feet and his legs.

Right. And it just looks like he had tested out his Lady Bic razor and had a couple of ouchies. Sure. It's just like, oh no, his leg is a little bit cut. Right. Oh, but the eyes. Oh, but his eyes are also cut. Oh, yeah, I get it.

Okay, that sucks. Can I offer a little art theory real quick? Please, yes. In this movie, the birds, they go through a lot of windows, right? Yeah. They break through windows. What are eyes? Oh.

I hate you. Eyes are windows to the soul. Yes. Are you always going to be like this? I love art. Snap, snap, snap, snap. I love it. Film. love art. I love it. Film.

Film art. Film, yes. I do like that they- Criterion, yes. There is a little green screen action, I think. I don't know if they were using green screens back then, but it's like, how did they get that where there's like a fake-

Yeah, there is a lot of like rear projection stuff in Hitchcock movies. But there's also, I remember seeing a beautifully painted backdrop. Oh, those, Matt, I know. Those are great. It's so stunning. And I was like, God, I wish, the Barbie movie did that. Oh, yeah?

They did a lot of hand-painted backgrounds that were gorgeous. So they brought that back for that movie, which is cool. But, yeah, I think that Annie is my hunk of the movie. I mean, hard to beat. I also love the drunk conspiracy theory guy in the bar. Oh, so, yeah, let's go to the bar slash diner. I love that bar. I would hang out at that bar. I will say, while Bodega Bay, to me, looked like the place you go on the vacation I don't like.

Yeah. If I'm on a vacation, I want to go to a big city, I want to eat their famous burger, and then I want to go back to my courtyard by Marriott. That's a vacation. Nothing else is a vacation to me. vacation nothing else is a vacation to me whereas i didn't really want a vacation here i want to hang out in this fucking diner slash bar so bad did you see the liquor on the back shelf tons of liquor it was gorgeous i think that's where you just because like there's not a lot of stores in town that was just like where you also went to buy your liquor, but they had so much. It was so much. And it was like they had, I'd say maybe eight types.

And it was just the same liquor bottles all line. It was tons of them. I love that picture. Me too. This is how much of a drinker I am. But I'm just like, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Yeah, just pause. Also, I'm doing Sober January at the moment.

And I was looking at that and my mouth got all watery. Like, I want a cigarette and I want to get shit-faced at Bodega Bay. And I want to be weird to my mom. I want to come up behind my mom. Yeah, shout out to Lois. Give her a little kiss. Sorry, Mom. I'm always weird to you.

Yeah, yeah. Give her a little kiss. Dear. He comes up behind his mom and gives her a little kiss. It's so fucking gross. Just like. Thank you, dear. Calm down, dear. gross. Just like. Thank you, dear. Calm down, dear.

Dear. You're being hysterical, dear. That's like if I called my dad honey. Right. Yeah. Hey, babe. That's so fucking gross. Like, ugh.

Anyway. Yeah. So at the diner, there's just like all kinds of hilarious characters. There's the drunk guy you mentioned. Yeah. He's like, it's the end times. He's repeating Bible verses. Fucking love this guy. He was just pulling out you mentioned. Yeah. He's like, it's the end times. He's repeating Bible verses. Fucking love this guy.

He was just pulling out Bible verses. Yeah. I think he's like a kooky Irish guy. Those Irish, they're always drunk and talking about the Bible. Yeah. And then there is a woman who just has thousands of bird facts at her disposal. Yeah, she just appears out of the ether. She is great.

But I am going to say she's the one with the worst hat in the movie. Worst hat in the movie. Easily. The worst hat. She had a little beret. She looks great. She's kind of got a red velvet blazer on,

but then just this gray beret. I don't know. It's not doing anything for her. Yeah, she kind of looks like she's going on safari or something. And she's really, I don't know, snooty and kind of arrogant about her bird knowledge. It's so funny how just like we need a little bit of explanation at this point, right? Like we need because we don't have any. We don't have we don't know why this is happening.

Again, as we mentioned, no one has talked about birds since the pet shop. No. Like, it's just. It's like, you know, Jurassic Park and stuff. There's always like an expert who's there to kind of go. Right. Here's what we need to do. Here's what birds are like or whatever.

Right. And it's just, I kind of like this because it's just people going like, I don know what the fuck to do there's a pattern here of how they attack but we don't understand why and but she was there just she knew all this shit but it didn't help in any way right it's kind of genius because if this were jurassic park and they did it like this it would be like the main scientist at jurassic park being like, you can't make dinosaurs. Yeah. Which is kind of brilliant. I think it's more interesting that she's just like,

what are you talking about? Birds don't attack. This would never happen. Yeah. I know everything about birds, as I've demonstrated. It's almost like she didn't even need to be there. Yeah, that's what I love about it. I was like, hell yeah.

I haven't written down the restaurant. It's called The Tides. The Tides. Is it real? I don't know. Can we go to the real Bodega Bay and go to the real The Tides? Also, I would like to point out that the conspiracy theory guy had my drink of choice. What was it?

A beer and a shot. The Tides is a real restaurant. The Tides Wharf and restaurant in Bodega Bay. No fucking way. We have to fucking way we have to go we have to go trip yeah oh i hope we get killed by birds map it matt how far from the studio let's do it right we can do it i want to do it man can i just say my favorite character in this scene is um guy who without even asking a question about what's going on just immediately starts advocating for the genocide of all birds oh yeah what the fuck

that's my favorite guy i have a honestly if this happened that would be a guy that would be a guy here's a close scavengers anyway most birds. Get yourselves guns and wipe them off the face of the earth. I mean, just apropos of maybe a couple sentences about birds attacking a school, he's immediately just like, we should have killed them all a long time ago. I've been saying it for years. I've been telling my wife before she left me. And then the old lady who knows everything about birds just rattles off how many birds there are in the world. Right.

As if that's like, so she's just like, this would be hard for you to do. Yeah. You can't kill all the birds. Impossible. Here's how many birds are in America. Yeah. In the Everglades. She just has this all off the dome.

Yeah, but it's just, it's the stupidest argument. So here the birds do start attacking the diner. They attack a guy pumping gas outside who like drops the gas pump. We see the gas leaking. And another guy who is dressed like a old time gangster gets out of his car to light a cigar. It is so fucking slapstick and funny. And then just everything goes to shit. But that was scary too because you see

this guy like set on fire yeah totally it's pretty brutal that was pretty brutal and it is this like kind of slapsticky moment and you laugh you know it's like oh that guy's on fire that guy is burning alive it was just the biggest struggle bus everybody's dragging everybody out of the way i know and it was a mess. And then there's so many moments, though, where it's like, don't be near a glass window because they can break through the glass window. I know. There seems to be things you can do to prevent being killed by the birds. Do people not have basements?

Lay under a blanket. Right. I think if you just laid under a blanket while it was happening, nothing could happen to you don't think they can peck through blankets yeah but i mean like it's a weighted blanket a la 2016 yes yeah this is the pandemic depression weighted blanket um i think if you have a thing and if you're laying face down like don't let them get to your eyes yeah you should be fine right then they peck through the back of your skull in the soft spot. I don't think they would do that. Yeah.

Maybe they would. I mean, they had to kill people somehow. That's true. The eyes aren't enough. I think they just killed people because, I think these are just a pretty dumb group of people. It's true. Who are easy to kill. Yeah.

Well, my thing is, like, okay, so in the school, there's a second child attack. So, yeah. So, that's kind of where we're going kill. Yeah. Well, my thing is like, okay, so in the school, there's a second child attack. So, yeah. So, that's kind of where we're going next. Yeah. And this is a pretty- But before we go all the way over there- Yes. We got to talk about all the products that we have that might protect you during the

birds attack. That's true. Oh, my God. Tell us about it. Let's talk about those products right now. And we're back for the thrilling conclusion of The Birds. So at some point before the diner, there's this scene at the schoolhouse. And so Melanie goes there to get Kathy. And the kids in the schoolhouse are singing the most annoying repetitive song.

Oh, yeah. What was that? Was this school in the 60s? No, I sang that song for something. Really? Yes. I sang this for Girl Scouts. So why?

Why did you sing it? It's,'s like fun. Yeah. I don't know. It's kind of like a camaraderie building thing, singing together. All right. I have no idea. I just remember, I think it was like a camp thing, not in school.

There doesn't seem to be any. I think of the songs you sing in school as having some information in them, like numbers or barnyard animals. Well, I think that was a memory thing because it's like hole in the bottom of the sea where you always like- Oh, you might be right. You're adding another thing all the time. But the interesting thing, so she's having a cigarette,

the longest cigarette of all time outside of the school because she went to go check on Kathy, but she's like having a cigarette first. And as she's smoking, all of these crows start to like crowd. Land on all the jungle gym equipment. Yes. It's great.

And she's just like smoking. And that cigarette looks so delicious. It sure does. The more she smokes it. And then she goes into the school where everybody seems a lot more safe and goes, we got to get out of here. Yeah, I know. Stay in the school. Yeah.

And it was so weird. Everyone's insistence on going outside is weird. What the fuck? And it's like that's where birds live is outside. That's insistence on going outside is weird. What the fuck? And it's like, that's where birds live, is outside. Sure. That's the number one place to not go. That's where they're swooping. Yeah.

Outside. Safety in numbers, too. Thank you. Like, inside. But then she was like, okay, we're going to practice a fire drill. And I'm like, birds are not fire. Right. They're not the same.

And that's like, the fire's fires outside if you're doing that analogy right yes yeah in a fire drill you ran right into the blaze inhale as much smoke as possible kids just take deep breaths of smoke yeah that they're not good at fire alarms in bodega bay yeah but i was it made me start thinking about like drills at school And I mean, we're 90s kids, so our drills were a lot more innocent than drills are now. Oh, sure. But did you ever have bomb drills? We did. So in Southern California, we had earthquake drills all the time.

So we would have to duck and cover, which I think is the same as bomb. It is the same. Yeah. They're like, we don't really know what to do for any of these. So get under your desk. I don't know. Write it out. Well, yeah're like, we don't really know what to do for any of these, so get under your desk. I don't know. Write it out. Well, yeah, I never, we don't have earthquakes in Tennessee, but it's like we had tornado drills.

Oh, yeah. What did you do during those? And so you go to the fucking basement, which is why I'm like, so you're doing the fire drill. Why don't you run a tornado drill with these kids? Go to the basement. Gosh, yeah, you're right. Close all the doors. There's no windows down there.

Yeah. And, but I guess there's no windows down there yeah and but i guess there's not basements in california y'all don't have those because you don't have tornadoes or i don't know storage issues i i don't know but yeah we had you go down in the basement and you would line up get on your um knees uh hands and knees face the walls line up and then cover your head with your hands did you have a kit did you have a tornado kit that you had to bring to school no okay we didn't have them often but we did when i was in the sixth grade there was a really bad tornado wow and you had to do

the drill we had to run down there and do it and there was a girl and it worked you didn't die right our school was fine but the um there was dragon park in Nashville that got jacked up. It was like a mosaic tile dragon thing. Oh, no. And there was a big effort to repair it. I'm rambling. But there was a girl next to me who was doing the cover your head thing. She's like, my dog is outside. Oh, no. And I was like, that sucks so much. Yeah, bummer. But yeah, so these people suck at drills.

That's all I'm saying. Bad at drills, bad at running, bad at surviving. Yeah, that girl, she broke the glasses. Little girls got to break the glasses. And I'll say, so yeah, so all this is happening. We get the gas pump explosion. Annie dies. Apparently has her eyes ripped out.

Oh my God, so sad. What a bummer. And Kathy saw the whole thing. Kathy saw the whole fucking thing. Poor Kathy. Yeah, Kathy's going to be messed up. Yeah, she's going to grow up and be Witches of Eastwick lady who barfs out all the cherry pits. Oh, yeah.

That's that actress. Is it? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. I didn't know that. This is her first movie role. So this is the same character is what you're saying. Yes.

She grows up and goes insane and barfs out cherry pits. Spoilers for Witches of Eastwick. So they go back to Mitch's house. There's like a bunch of different bird attacks. Melanie gets attacked and kind of goes catatonic. They're listening to the radio about what's happening. Yeah. And someone says they've blocked off all

the roads now that won't do anything matt is dying laughing that won't do anything sure i appreciate the outbreak i appreciate that the government is trying we gotta do something uh block off all the roads so the birds don't get in cars. Just schools will close early. Everyone has to be outside. Right. Everyone go outside, but no one leave. No one leave town. Have we tried just having kids roll around in glue and bird feed?

Maybe that'll help. Like everything they're doing is unhelpful. Get rid of all cats. Everyone just had 10 cats. This movie never would have happened. I'm sorry. Maybe I sound like an angry cat weirdo, but everyone had a cat. Or if somebody had a fucking gun.

Yeah. Like nobody had a gun. Yeah, no guns. No guns. Or a tennis racket. So this is just about what happens in liberal snowflake California. When nobody got sneakers. Where everyone's defunding the police.

You get killed by birds. However, people get boosters for tetanus. She mentioned that when she got attacked by the first bird. Oh, really? You need to get a tetanus shot. She goes, I already got a booster. And I'm like, wow. That's nice.

People got boosters for things back in the day and weren't total little bitches about it. That area now, heavy anti-vax. Oh, really? Yeah, maybe. North of San Francisco, that's why you move there to not get vaxed. If we go to the Tides, we'll all wear a mask.

Oh, yeah. Jessica Yates. We'll see if they have outdoor seating at the Tides. Yep, yep, yep. Okay. So, yeah. I mean, so this is kind of the climax of the movie. The birds are going.

The birds are, like, breaking in. Mitch is, like, punching them as they come in. This looks like he's punching real birds. And I love those things where it's, like, the people. You see a lot of close-ups of hands trying to get things away from the birds and the birds pecking at the hands. And it just kind of looks like when you're trying to find the outlet for your phone charger behind a couch. Right. And you're just rattling your hand around.

Yeah. I thought that was fun. Yeah, so that happens. I was impressed. I wrote down here in my notes there's no shit in this movie what do you mean

there's no one there's no bird shit anywhere oh that's a good point it's a world covered in birds there's not one little white glop

anywhere well I feel like they don't well they have been eating a lot of eyeballs so they probably need to shit yeah you're right

yeah baby it backs you up oh too many eyeballs I haven't shit in a week it's the cheese of the bird world yes exactly eyeball what. It's the cheese of the bird world. Yes, exactly. Eyeball. What are eyeballs

but the cheese of the head they say. I love it. And then the movie kind of just ends. They get in a car. He kind of slowly puts everybody in a car.

Oh, yeah. And they drive off and who the fuck knows what happened. I know. That was such high tension too. Yeah. It really is.

And I remember, but also, okay, so she gets attacked because she went upstairs to check on a bird sound. Right. And guess what? There were birds. It was a bird. I know. She goes upstairs alone.

Fucking idiot. And then she gets attacked and there's just a bunch of little you know like watercolor red on her face and she's in shock and then they wipe the stuff off her face she barely has any scratches on her and he goes we gotta get her to a hospital and i'm like why she's fine get her a washcloth i'm not totally sure how people are dying other than the ones who are getting their eyes pecked out like oh i couldn't be like okay, they hit the brain. But how is she hurt? I don't know. She got scratched up.

It's like death by a thousand cuts, but they're bird bees? By a thousand cuts. They're all infected immediately. Yeah, maybe it's just you get a weird bird disease. You get a quick bird disease that kills you. A fast-acting bird disease. Yeah, I guess Hitchcock just thought we'd just kind of go with the flow and not ask any questions on that one.

But yeah, he's just like, we have to get her to a hospital. And I'm like, why? It makes no sense. But she is clearly in shock. But it's like, I don't think hospitals really help you when you're kind of having mental issues. I'd like to stay away from a hospital as much as possible. Especially in the 60s. They probably would have just taken out that frontal lobe.

She's scared of birds burn her brain here's some gin take her eyes out and then get her brain here's some gin get pregnant what? they did lobotomies for everything he tried to give her brandy when she was like freaking out and she's like wasn't drinking it

and I'm like what the fuck's wrong with you drink the brandy it's good brandy look at that cute little glass freaking out and she's like wasn't drinking it and I'm like what the fuck's wrong with you drink the brandy it's good brandy it's given to you for free look at that cute little glass it's a cute glass but I wanted so it does just end which is terrifying it is yeah and then the logo was it Universal

Pictures it is Universal Pictures and it just ends and you're like left with all these questions and do they make it out we don't know like but I wanted to get back to the moment where I think there was fucking. Okay. Fucking in the movie.

Okay, so after Jessica Tandy, the mom character, went to see the farmer whose eyes got gouged out, she's in her truck and she's speechless. Amazing acting by the whole cast, honestly. But she's speechless and then she gets home and we see that Tippi, Hedren, and our boy are like outside and she's wearing her fur coat over her nightgown. Oh, I didn't notice.

And her hair is down. Wow. She always has her hair up in that perfectly coiffed little chignon kind of thing. So they probably fucked. Yeah. And they're smoking cigarettes and he doesn't have a jacket on or anything and they run up to her and she looks at both of them and goes,

ugh, and then runs away because I think she realized they were fucking. So I was like, oh, they were fucking in her fucking flannel nightgown. Right. This woman goes through this whole ordeal without a change of clothes. I know.

How bad does this beautiful woman smell at the end of this movie? I know. It is like the ultimate walk of shame, and she's doing it with the guy's mom in the house. I know, right? I love it. Wild. Washing those panties in the sink. Sure.

I've done that. When I'm at the gym, I use my panties as a washcloth in the shower. And then I put them in the hair dryer and then I put them back on. Clip that. Hell yeah. I did it today. I'm wearing my gym panties. Oh, boy.

But, yeah, so I do think they were banging while mommy was going to be traumatized. They were probably banging. But also, I would like to talk about her hair. Oh, sure. It is maybe the best like to talk about her hair. Oh, sure. It is maybe the best performance by a head of hair. Yeah. Is this our segment, Best Hair in the Movie? Do we have a Best Hair in the Movie segment?

We do now. We do now. The best hair. Beautiful harmony, Matt. That was beautiful. Yeah, no. It's like this perfectly coiffed, and you can't see a pin. It looks like it's held up by like a whisper of an angel or something.

It's so gorgeous. Even when she's getting like pecked and everything, it still looks super beautiful. And then when she has it down and she's not even giving a shit, it's so stunningly beautiful. But whatever hairspray that was, we got to find out. Right. There's got to find out. Right. There's got to be some kind of link or something. I want all of her secrets. But yeah, that's probably my favorite hairstyle

of any movie. And even as they're driving off in her catatonic state, looks amazing. Yeah, won't drink any brandy, but she'll do her hair, I guess. Yeah, okay. Priorities.

So that's, yes. The movie's full of weird priorities, I think we can say, yes. You can say that basically at every scene in this movie. Yeah. Before we talk about what we thought of the movie overall and give it a rating, I want to talk about our favorite lines of the movie. Here's my favorite line of the movie. And as we talked about, a lot of the sexuality in this movie is kind of like below the

surface. It's suggested. It is hinted at. And I think this is my favorite line that's kind of in that zone. Okay. Is that where you met Mitch? Yes. I guess that's where everyone meets Mitch. Now you sound a bit mysterious, Ms. Hayworth. Do I?

I love, that's where everybody meets Mitch. It's like meeting Mitch just means fucking. Can we all start to use that instead of saying fucked? Like, so did you meet Mitch last night? So meeting just means. Yeah. Damn. Mitch is a hoe.

Mitch is a hoe out there in San Francisco. Slutting it up. It's not that weird that that's where he works. Right. She's acting like, oh, you met him in San Francisco. Everyone knows you can't. The fuck place. You can't fuck and work in the same city. I do think in this movie, yeah.

Oh, I don't fuck where I work. I would never fuck where I work. I gotta go to my mom's house and fuck a lady. What, do I want to get in trouble with HR? No. Can't say anything these days. Can't fucking work. Can't fucking work.

Gotta fuck a lady through a flannel nightgown. What do you think, Emily? What's the best line in the movie? When the mom is, you know, just kind of lashing out at Tippi Hedren's character because she's just losing her mind or whatever. This business with the birds has upset me. I don't know what I'd do if Mitch weren't here. It's just this business with the birds has upset me. I don't know what I'd do if Mitch weren't here. It's just this business with the birds has upset me.

Yes, this is all that's going on right now is we're all being attacked by the birds. Yes is like, well, this business with the birds. Yeah, it's just like, you know. And it's raining out. Yeah, yeah. They didn't have my favorite sandwich at the diner. And it just immediately makes me think of the birds with little briefcases and shit. Oh, yeah, the business birds.

Business birds. I got business with the birds in San Francisco. Yeah, if you know what I mean. If you know what I'm saying. Those birds are going to sleep with the fish. That's where everybody meets the birds. That's where everyone meets the birds. You got to go up to San Francisco, fuck a bird.

What character am I? Who's this guy? It doesn't matter. I'm fucking birds. I'm going to fuck those birds. And have a bowl of rice-a-roni. What the fuck? The San Francisco treats. Did you notice the lovebirds didn't freak out, though?

Yeah, that's kind of a fun, weird thing throughout the movie is there are these lovebirds that he brings to Kathy, but we don't see them freak out and they take them in the car with them. Oh, I didn't notice that. Yeah, I know. She's like, can we bring the lovebirds? They didn't do anything wrong. It's really heartbreaking.

But also, maybe those birds just kill them in the car. Yeah. Maybe that's, I wonder if that was supposed to be the ending. You just see the car veer off the road because the lovebirds fucking freaked out. More like, hate birds. Yeah, I think that there's a lot of stuff that's unanswered and that's on purpose. Totally, yeah, it's great. Because the story was based on another, like an actual bird attack situation that happened in California.

Yeah, I read that too. I guess in the town of me and Matt's alma mater, Santa Cruz, there was a weird thing where all the birds freaked out and started attacking. Literally? Yeah. This happened to me. What? When I lived in Santa Cruz, I mean, it wasn't a bad attack, but I was walking and all of a sudden I felt something scratch my head. And I was like, what the hell was that? And I looked up and a bird swooped in to do it again and just used his talons and just started picking out globs of my hair. What?

Straight up. What kind of bird? Like a little black bird. It wasn't even like a- Were you just eating raw eggs? And he's like, this guy's got my eggs. I had his nest in my hand and I used it like a bowl. Well, Matt, maybe this-

That doesn't- Well, Matt, maybe this... That doesn't... You think that excuses assault? I don't know. Listen, it's your fault for having eyes. There you go. You shouldn't be walking around with your human eyes looking so delicious. Your tasty, tasty...

Yummy, num eyes. I've never forgotten about that bird because it was the first time I'd ever been punked by an animal. And I realized there was nothing I could do because it could just fly away. There you go. Fucking Santa Cruz people say people say it's chill but it's not

it's where the birds kill you well hey we're going to talk about what we thought of this movie ultimately but first a few messages and then we'll come right back We're back. This is Free With Ads. We're going to tell you what we thought about the birds. Now, we like to rate our movies on a scale of 1 to 10 super loud commercials.

Because the movies we watch here on this show are streaming free with ads. I had really good ads. What were your ads? Got a lot of Stouffer's. Oh, yeah? Yeah, and then diabetes medication. And an Olive Garden. I got an Olive Garden breadstick salad.

Ooh, what's going on at Olive Garden? Oh, man. So many dunking of the breadsticks in various things. This wasn't like a promo. This was just like, here's the Olive Garden. It wasn't like, we got this. Yeah, and it really, I want to go to an Olive Garden. I haven't been to an Olive Garden in a while.

Can we all go to Olive Garden before we get to the bar at Bodega Bay? Well, we're going to have to stop to eat on the way. We'll stop to eat at San Francisco. Go to Olive Garden with your family. Fuck some birds. Fuck some birds in our eye sockets. But let's rate these movies. Let's rate the movies.

Okay, on a scale of 1 to 10, super loud commercials. Emily, you've never seen this movie. I can't believe it. So cool. What do you give it on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials, Emily, you've never seen this movie. I can't believe it. So cool. What are you giving on a scale of one to ten? Ten. Ten. Ten.

Emily. First perfect score of the pod. First perfect score. I am with you, too. This is a ten for me. I love this movie. It was so fun to rewatch. I think in honor of the birds, a 10 on this podcast is a tippy.

I love it. We're calling it a tippy. A tippy 10. After the great tippy hedron. Yes. A 10 is a tippy. And yeah, let's give it up for the first tippy. The first tippy of the podcast.

First of very few, I'm sure, because the library on YouTube is thin. None of the other movies we're planning on doing is good. Oh, who knows? Maybe. Maybe we'll be surprised. We might do some good ones. Once a month we'll do a classic. Yeah.

I mean, I'm already looking right here at the other options. Arrival is free with ads right now. Oh, okay. And Clueless and Road to Perdition. All right, okay. We might have some tippies in our future. We might have some tippies. But I also, there's one here that I'm going to campaign for.

Okay. Free Willy is on here. Oh, Mike, we got to. We got to do Free Willy. How many Free Willy sequels are on there? Free Willy sequels? Free Willy sequels. Oh, Free Willy.

Mommy, can we watch the Free Willy sequels? Mommy there? Free Willy sequels? Free Willy sequels. Oh, Free Willy. Mommy, can we watch the Free Willy sequels? Mommy, my pants fell off in the pool and now I have a Free Willy. Can we watch Free Willy 6 Escape from Pirate's Cove? Well, it looks like just Free Willy 1. Free Willy 1. Is on there, so we'll see. Free with ads. But that won't be next week,

because next week, it's Dungeons & Dragons, y'all. That's right, Matt. Dungeons & Dragons from the year 2000. Not the Chris Pine one, the bad one. But hey, that's our review of The Birds. We think you should check it out. Free with ads and elsewhere.

Before we go, Emily, what do you got going on? Anything we should check out? Well, I mentioned this before. I'm going on tour, and you are going to come with us for – I have not told anyone which ones you're coming to. That's true. I may or may not be there. But, yeah, Good Mythical Morning is going on tour in May and June of this year.

So I will be doing that. If you go to – I believe it's goodmythicaltour.com. I think that that's the thing. That's an easy Google. Yeah, yeah. Just Google it, guys. You can figure it out. And then I did a little two-part podcast series with Jenna Purdy from Mythical as well,

and my very good friend for Mythical Society. It's their paid platform that they have. And if you're a first- degree member, the first level, then you can listen to our podcast. It should be out and everything. And it's all about dating. And it's called The Situationship Room. Beautiful. Thank you.

I came up with that myself. That's a good one. Mythical Society. A lot of fun stuff on there. I will go ahead and plug the graphic novel. Youth Group. A lot of fun stuff on there. I will go ahead and plug the graphic novel Youth Group written by me. Art by Bowen McGurdy. The YA horror comedy

coming soon to a bookstore near you. But you should preorder it now. Don't wait till it gets to that bookstore. Preorder yours. Amazon. Barnes & Noble. Better yet your local indie bookstore or if you want a signed copy you can do it via BookSoup

the greatest indie bookshop in the LA area in my opinion BookSoup.com that's their website you can find the links there to get your signed personalized copy

of Youth Group I will sign it with whatever you dang well please just try and keep it PG-13 it's a teenager book so do that and they ship anywhere I guess I should say.

No matter where you could be in the LA area, you don't have to be. You could be an international book. You could be at Bodega Bay. You could be in Bodega Bay. And what better place to kick back

with a new graphic novel than beautiful Bodega Bay? Just read it before your eyes get poked out. This has been Free With Ads. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming. Till next time,

watch those eyeballs. Cover your eyes. Don't get poked in your peeps. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you