Free With Ads - The Bye Bye Man

Episode Date: October 8, 2024

Are you ready for another Hallo-peen Screamfest? Well, too bad because today we all watched the 2017 horror movie "The Bye Bye Man" about a man who is called the Bye Bye Man who uh has a dog? You may not enjoy the movie, but you'll love this episode.We are doing our FIRST EVER FREE WITH ADS LIVESTREAM on the MaxFun YouTube channel this Wednesday Oct 9th at 6pm PST. We will be talking movies and taking questions.Don't miss this years Good Mythical Evening on October 25th where Matt, Emily. and Jordan (plus 2 guys named Rhett and Link) will be doing a NFSW halloween-theme'd live stream! You can buy tickets for the stream here, or watch with friends at your local Alamo Draft House.Jordan Morris will be at Heavy Manners Comics Fair Oct 12. You can reserve your FREE tickets here.We have a new BONUS episode of FWA available right now, where we talk about the pilot to the teen comic book drama "Gotham." You do not want to miss it! To listen to our bonus content, join Maximum Fun now.

Hey Free With Answers, this is Jordan with a very exciting announcement. On Wednesday, October 9th at 6pm Pacific Time, we're going to be doing our first ever video livestream. That's right, Emily, Matt, and me will be AMA-ing. That's right, we will be answering all of your questions live on the Max Fun YouTube channel. There will be a link to said YouTube channel in the show notes and never fear if you miss the live stream,

it will be archived there at the MaxFun YouTube channel. Again, link in the show notes. One more time, it's the Free With Ads AMA live stream Wednesday, October 9th at 6 p.m. PST on the MaxFun YouTube channel. Hope to see you there! This is Free With Ads, the podcast that asks the question, why pay max $10 a month for a bunch of artsy A24 horror movies when you could go on YouTube for free and watch a horror movie that's kind of, sort of like an A24 movie if you're watching it

while blackout drunk and you have a sheet on your head. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Evelyn Fleming. Today's movie is The Bye Bye Man, a horror movie about an urban legend that's nowhere near as good as the movie Urban Legend. I love that movie. And we are, me too, and we are waist deep in Howl O' Peen.

Oh, god. Our spooky season of horror movie reviews and jokes about the male dong, which is sometimes known as the peen. Before we get into this movie, which is, as of this recording, streaming free with ads, we have an email address. And sometimes people email us questions. Yeah.

And sometimes we read them on a segment we call We Got Mail. You got mail. Yay! This message is from Valerie. Hi Valerie, thanks. They write, what was your first horror movie that you mustered up the courage to see in theaters? Who did you see it with and how did you leave feeling?

Emily, does anything come to mind for this? Yes, I don't know if some people consider this to be a horror movie, but I remember I was five years old. A sandlot. No, I was five years old. The dog's kind of scary. And the movie trailers for the movie, The Witches had come out.

Oh yeah, sure. And I was seeing them on TV. I have a lot of weird memories from when I was very young, and my parents don't believe that I have memories like this, but they're always accurate. But yeah, so I remember seeing them, and it looked spooky and cool. And I don't know, I was like, I want to see this.

And I remember a friend of mine's older sister saw it, and she was like, you're not going to be able to do it. Oh, yeah? And I thought I liked spooky stuff as a kid, although I was scared of everything. So I saw it with my mom in the theaters, which I think that movie is PG, which is insane. Oh, sure, yes.

Our childhood was littered with PG movies that are horrible and traumatic. Indiana Jones, The Temple of Doom, great example. Yeah, that's the one that triggered the whole thing. But, like, yeah, I ran out of the theater. Wow, okay. I couldn't do it. It's when she took off her face

and then the witch face was underneath. And then the, I don't know, the way that the kids looked as they were turning into the mice. I have a little bit of body horror stuff. Oh yeah. It triggers me. Like, I like body horror stuff. Like, I think that I've, it triggers me.

Like, I like body horror to some degree, but this really messed me up. I was five, and I ran away, and my mom was like, I told you, you weren't gonna like that. And I was like, and then, yeah, so I don't know. There were other kids my age who said they saw it. Five? I mean, I think it was probably marketed as a kids movie.

Oh boy, it was not. That was a scary movie. It still scares me. Okay, so mine was Tremors. Yeah. I saw it with Tim Cota and his mom. Nice. And I asked to leave. I asked them to leave because I was too scared of Tremors.

And then we went into... We did that thing a lot where you just, like, walked around in the movie theater and went into random movies. I don't know if that practice is still as done today, but I think like littler movie theaters, you could like, it was just stone 16 year olds and they're like, whatever, go wherever you want to.

So we went in and saw the like last hour of always. What's that? It's a Spielberg movie. I think it is about crop dusters. Okay. I cannot, but I remember it was very soothing. And now I love Tremors. Tremors is like, I would consider a favorite of mine.

Oh yeah, for sure. And it's one of those things where I'm like, oh, I was too scared to watch this as a kid and this is supposed to be a comedy. Like this was absolutely supposed to be funny. Yeah. But I was just so scared of those things where I'm like, oh, I was too scared to watch this as a kid, and this is supposed to be a comedy. Like, this was absolutely supposed to be funny, but I was just so scared of those grab boys. I mean, mine was supposed to be like a fantasy movie, I guess, for kids, but it was terrifying.

So that's adorable. I love that. Matt, can you look up what the movie Always is about? Yeah, you got it. Okay, thank you. I see that it's got John Goodman in it. John Goodman's in there. Maybe Dreyfus?

Maybe Dreyfus in Always. Maybe Dreyfuss? Maybe Dreyfuss in all ways? Richard Dreyfuss. Yeah, and then we've got a Holly Hunter. Love a Holly Hunter. Well, who could be scared of that? I know! I think it's about crop dusting.

Okay, I've got the synopsis right here. Yes, please. Aerial firefighter Pete Richard Dreyfuss writs himself and his vintage World War II airplane in a constant and death-defying quest to fight forest fires. Okay. Jesus Christ, Audrey Hepburn is in this.

It's a forest fire movie? I guess so. Steven Spielberg made a forest fire movie. Yeah, anyway, so there you go. Not a scary. They can't all be winners, you guys. They can't all be winners. Yeah, but I'm like blown away

in older Audrey Hepburnism this. This is wild. It's from 1989. There you go. Cool, if it pops up on Free With Eds, we'll watch that. There you go, we'll do a double feature, Tremors and Always to remind me of that

wonderful afternoon I spent with Tim Cota and his mom. Fuck yeah. Well hey, we're about to talk about The Bye Bye Man, a movie which will surely have viewers screaming and running into always. Oh God. But before we talk about The Bye Bye Man, we wanted to mention that this movie does include

suicide as part of the plot, so if that's something you do not want to hear about, we're gonna play a little music and give you a chance to find another episode. ["Song of the Dead"] Okay, we're back, it's Free With Ads, we're talking about The Bye Bye Man. So the movie opens in 1969 in Madison, Wisconsin.

We've got a suburban dad who I would say has J.D. Vance energy. Yeah. Doesn't have the stunning eyes. Yeah, doesn't have the eyeliner on fleek. Certainly the haunted energy of JD Vance. And he gets a shotgun and threatens his family. And then he kills them with the shotgun. Well, not his family.

It's some lady. It's so confusing. Because later there's more about this guy. He kills, like, the neighbors. Yes. So I think he kills his own family and then goes over to the neighbors while we see these shots of a train, these random shots of a train.

How haunting. Surely these images will be explained later. No, they're not. But yeah, he killed, but he didn't kill his wife though. Oh, that's right, because that turns out to be Faye Dunaway. You're right, you're right. Yeah, and then you're like, who's this lady then? Well, this, okay, so it's a suburban guy, he's got a gun, he's killing the neighbors.

And we're seeing shots of a train. Yes. Ooh, I wonder what that was supposed to be before they either removed the explanation or didn't shoot it. Oh yeah, what the fuck? I mean. Yeah, so there's a lot of stuff in this movie

that goes unexplained. And I think it is all part of the source material. This is based on a short story. Yes. And all the stuff in this movie that does not get explained is kind of unpacked in the short story. Yeah. And the short story I was reading about, this guy

like wrote a book of short stories that he claims are true. OK. But he says that this story was told to him by a friend. So it's like a secondhand story that may or may not be true. Well that's enough for me. The Bye Bye Man is real! It's real!

Don't say it out loud! Don't think it! Don't say it! Everybody hide in the steers! Bye bye! Bye bye! He's all around us! Bye bye!

So we cut to the modern day and the house that the murders took place in. It's getting rented by some college kids. Yes. A bunch of hot college kids. And only three. Three of them, yeah. That's a huge house.

It's a giant, I know, right? Does everybody get two bedrooms? Yeah, no kidding. So yeah, so it's a couple and their friend. And so they're like looking at the house, they love it. There's this little moment where the woman of the couple kind of comes into the room to the guys and they're just punching each other in the stomach.

She just comes in and they're just, Matt, we're guys, right? Yeah, hell yeah, we're guys. And when the ladies are away, we just punch each other. All I do is wrestle with my homies and try to physically harm them. Right, yeah. But it's out of love.

It's all love, dawgs. Yeah, this was a really weird triad of friendship. Sure. Yeah, because you're not sure who's fucking who. Yeah. It takes a while before you figure out who the couple is because I thought for a little bit it was both the guys. Me too.

I was wrong. They have hella chemistry. That stomach punching is pretty hot. Yeah. Yeah. But so you know, this is like setting the table introducing us to our main characters and they're a lot of fun.

There's this exchange that had me rolling. Matt, can you play this? This place up right. Cause I'm not gonna be your guys made course not I told him right but I never could she my butter pasta next that is not a thing She said that, I was like, okay, random, hard pass, so that happened. So that happened. Hashtag winning. Oh God.

Fuck this movie! Anyway. Oh God, you know Jordan, I think that there may need to be a sting about millennial slang. Oh God, overuse slang, I know. Because if there's just really any of that stuff, which by the way, you have ruined my movie going experience, because now when I hear those quotes that you talk about,

I'm like, Jordan would be furious. I know. Furious at this movie. So that's not a thing as one for me. This movie came out in 2017. We don't need to be saying, this was over. And so that happened. So that happened.

I just threw up in my mouth a little. Ugh. Yeah. No, it literally should be illegal to write that in a script. Yeah. I mean, what are we doing? I know, and it's just like they, and it's like the stomach punching thing. It's like they just, they're like, the scene needs energy.

You have to do something. Punch it, you know. And it's like no one knows how to act like a person. Act or be, or write a joke. So they just put in this shit. Anyway, so like already I'm like, oh movie, you're on fucking thin ice. You are, oh I don't know.

I might just lie and say I watched you. I might just turn on Family Feud for the rest of the night and lie about the movie, read Wikipedia. Anyway, so okay, they're all friends and they rent the house and they have a fun party and the woman of the couple and the friend of the couple are flirting at the party. And the man, the normal man,

whose characteristic is that he has a lot of Dead Kennedy shirts. I know, I saw that and I was like, oh cool, I bet Jordan will like that. I did like to see the Dead Kennedy's. I know, I saw that and I was like, oh cool, I bet Jordan will like that. I did like to see the Dead Kennedy's logo, that was fun. So yeah, he never talks about it or acts punk rock in any way, but he has a lot of punk shirts.

I'm like, yeah, that's cool, I enjoy that. And there's a little girl at the party. She is the niece of the main dude. So she just starts wandering around by herself. There's a lot of doors in this house. There are. There's a lot of like little doors. And there's like little, yeah,

little tiny doors on the ground. Yeah, it's kind of like the Winchester mystery house. Yeah, it's a little like that or that it's maybe that was a dumb waiter type thing. Oh yeah, maybe you're right. Or the laundry chute. Or I don't know. So yeah, so the house is kind of like creepy

and this little girl is walking around and there's some like kind of creepy atmosphere here and then she goes into one of the bedrooms and out of one of the little doors, a dog or dinosaur head comes out and then goes back in like that meme of Homer Simpson going back in the bush. Surely this dog dinosaur will be explained. Not really. No.

Yeah, and then she finds a spooky coin. Ooh, a spooky coin. The coins come up a lot. Surely we'll get an explanation for that. We don't. Spooky coins. And so they're having this party, and they're talking. They have a, they have a.

Use those coins to do spooky laundry. Separate your whites from your colors. Musical guest, the Bye Bye Man. I have two voices, Vincent Price and Don Pardo. Yes. Anyway, so they have a gothy friend at the party. And the main guy of the couple, he's not sure about her. She wears hats indoors. He says girls who wear hats inside are crazy. And we all know that's true.

So their friend, they're just trying to give people character traits here. And they don't know how to do it. So he's a jock, right? The friend is, he's a jock. Yes. And he organizes a little game of baseball outside and the main guy, our main guy, our Dead Kennedys guy

is like, those jocks, they even, they can't stop playing games, even at a party. There's party games, that's a phrase. People play games at parties. What's your fucking deal? If I was friends with you guys, I would go outside and whack something around. Sure.

Just entertain myself. Let's do something. I also think, cause there was something, when they were exploring the house in the basement, the jock guy like finds an old shoe, like an old leather shoe, and then tries to throw it like a basketball, and it hits his head on a pipe. And then I think that's what they were using

is the baseball outside. Just this leather shoe. I'm like, there's a million other things you could use as a baseball. I don't know. And a thousand other games you can play with a leather shoe. Yeah. Just do something else.

Fuck the shoe. You can fuck the shoe. Everybody line up, fuck the shoe. It's like pin the tail on a donkey for a donkey. And the last one that finishes has to drink the cum out knows the game. Everybody line up, fuck the shoe. It's like pin the tail on a donkey for a donkey. And the last one that finishes has to drink the cum out of the shoe. We've all played icky shoey before. Icky shoey.

So yes, the little girl, she's still cruising around. Can't stand her. She looks, she looks, you didn't like this cut shot? Little girl? No. Okay. Yeah, I mean, no one in this movie is good. She just had this whiny like, meh, like this kind of character? Little girl? No. Okay. Yeah, I mean, no one in this movie is good. She just had this whiny, like, meh,

like this kind of thing. And it's like, no kid talks like this. I don't know. No person talks like how anyone does in this movie. Yeah, and she like opens the drawer and we see a bunch of crazy person writing in the drawer, don't think it, don't say it, bye bye man, don't think it, don't say it, bye bye man.

Oh, by the way. I thought bye bye man was underneath the paper. Like that was. Oh, right, yeah, well't think it, don't say it, bye bye man. Don't think it, don't say it, bye bye man. Oh by the- I thought bye bye man was underneath the paper. Like that was- Oh right, yeah, well they ripped it up. They were some like shelf paper in the drawer. This existed in a time where there was drawer paper. I had drawer paper. My mom put rose scented drawer paper

in all of my chest of drawers. Oh, that sounds beautiful. My, whenever I move into a new place, when I show my mom around, she brings drawer paper and puts it in chest of drawers. That sounds beautiful. Whenever I move into a new place, when I show my mom around, she brings drawer paper and puts it in all the drawers. Really? Yeah, in my place I have now, my mom came in and put in the drawer paper.

That's so nice. Gail is nice. Gail! Gail and Lois crushing it with the drawer paper. Two nice moms. He he he. So, the gothy friend. Okay.

Everyone's hotness in this movie is so inversely related to their acting. The hotter they are, the worse they are. And this- She's the hottest one. Yeah, and the gap is huge. Yeah, all of the college characters anyways. Yeah, she is stunning, but absolutely so wrong for this.

And it's the funnest part in the movie, she gets to get a little possessed at some point. Well, yeah, okay, maybe I think there were moments in this movie where I stared at a wall. Like it just kind of, I dissociated. Sure, that's all you can do. You're just saying, don't think it, don't say it. Don't watch it.

Don't watch it. Don't hear it. But I was like, so they're all just having a fake science, like science, what the fuck did I just sound like? Y'all wanna have a seance? Y'all wanna have a seance? Yeah, and then she. If your chair's flying around the room,

you might be possessed. You might be possessed. But yeah, I was just like, okay, so no one is at the party now, and then this girl's here and she wants to have a seance, and suddenly she's very psychic. How is she real psychic? I guess she just is.

I guess she just is. I guess she just... Because the woman, like, she legitimately, like, predicts things and things, and she, like, the guy goes off and hides his keys, and she knows where he hid his keys. Yeah, I know. And she can see things, but it's like, she's the only other,

like, supernatural thing in the whole movie. Right. And there's no explanation for her. Like, there's a whole, like, it feels like there's a whole universe happening now, like true blood or something. So we got a psychic over here, where's the vampire? Yeah, you're right. So she's psychic and like the Bye Bye Man is not explained.

It does feel like we're watching a sequel. It feels like we're watching the third or fourth Bye Bye Man movie. And they're like, no, you don't need to explain, you know, they didn't need to explain Freddie at some point. He just kills you in your dreams. But it feels- Yeah, but he was also a compelling character.

Yeah, Freddy rules. And they prefaced him from the get-go, like you knew it was dealing with. Sure, yeah, they explained him at some point, it just feels like, just no one, they just wanna show you images that they think are scary and they don't feel like, yeah, we're not being told the story coherently.

Yeah. So yeah, we're not being told the story coherently. Yeah. So, yeah, she's crazy, but she does sleep with, like, the jock friend. And so he drives her home in the morning. They have this little conversation. She kind of suggests, like, he couldn't get it up during the hooking up. And then he hallucinates a bunch of maggots on her face.

Yes. And then he... So he talks about how, like, dirty the goth woman was and how, like, and then he, so he talks about how dirty the Goth woman was and how like, her roommate is like clean and nice, he's like you're so clean and nice. Ew, I forgot about this. And then she hallucinates him.

So okay, our main three characters are just all hallucinating now. I guess it's because of the seance? Well, okay, so he reads reads our main guy, Elliot, he's like our main dude, he like sees the drawer that has the like, don't think it, don't say it, all written on this piece on the drawer paper. And then he pulls it up and then it just says, the bye bye man. Right. Like in the font that they use on the poster.

Yeah. And, yeah. It says, coming soon? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, fandango.com. We're already in the movie. But then, so then when they have the seance,

the psychic chick says it out loud. She's like saying, don't say it, don't think it, don't say it, don't think it. And then they're all, like, they've all heard it. And know it. And I guess the deal is just like, if anyone says bye-bye man one time, he gets in your head and then makes you hallucinate

and then eventually can kill you, they never explain what the rules are. Well, if you hear it too, like, I feel like, because then you're going to think it. I don't know. I'm so confused by it as well. There's no concrete explanation for how this works. You don't see the Bye Bye Man much,

but he is usually just saying kind of hello. That's true, he never says bye bye. Not a lot of bye bye's. That's a really good point. Thank you, he comes out and he kinda appears and points at you and it's kinda like a little hello. It's a little welcoming, it's not bi. He never waves bye bye.

He's like, hello. I'm starting to think it's a bad movie. Hold on man, it might get better, hold on, hold on. I think he's more like an Irish exit man. Like he's kinda, yeah. Oh yeah, sure. I'm just gonna go get some cigarettes. I'm gonna call my Lyft, I'll be right back.

I gotta get my trench coat dry cleaned. Geez. So, okay. So she hallucinates a naked dude in great shape. We see the gutters or the dick root as Emily. Dick root. The gutters is so much hotter when you say it like that. The gutters.

The gutters. Ooh, the gutters. So at this point, the woman roommate, she is doing that thing where she writes creepy stuff in a notebook and kind of doesn't know why. In the standard crazy person hallucination font. And so she writes Bye Bye Man. Because the font is so insane,

when she showed the notebook, I thought it said Honk Honk Man. And I'm like, why are we not watching the Honk Honk Man? Someone make Honk Honk Man, that sounds pretty good. Honk Honk Man, that's my name when I see those titties. That's also a combination of words you might never say, as opposed to Bye Bye Man, which has been said probably billions of trillions of times.

Yeah, well also, this is 2017 when this came out, The Snowman also came out this year. Oh yes, Mr. Police. Yes. I gave you all the clues. Yes, and I got them confused. I first thought like, oh I think I've heard of the Bye Bye Man, it's the one with the snowman in it.

And it's like, no, there were two different little man things going on. Yeah, there were two mans around this time. The Bye Bye Man did not give us all the clues. We don't know anything about him. We've watched the movie. We need more clues. Help us, Mr. Police.

Oh, boy. So OK, so this is kind of when we kind of see the Bye Bye Man for the first time. They have this in their bedroom, they have this very creepy looking, like a druid costume on a mannequin, which is, yes, of course they're gonna get scared by that. But in the middle of the night,

that costume comes to life and we see the hooded, leather-jacketed Bye Bye Man, it's played by Doug Jones, who we love to see in things. He's given fucking jack shit to do in this. Like, he doesn't, you know, he gets a couple of little scenes where he gets to gesticulate, but you know, he's great, love this guy and everything. So, I have an unexpected hunk watch.

Oh, sure. I do think that the Bye Bye Man is kinda like a jacked, like, Doug Jones spooky character. He's a little jacked, kind of hunk watch, but right before you see the Bye Bye Man for the first time, he's having a dream hallucination and there's three naked people like back facing to us on the train tracks

before they get hit on a train. It's just three perfect butts. So the three butts on the train track, that's my Hunk Watch. Thank you. So the three butts on the train track? That's my hunk watch. OK. It's hunk watch.

Thank you. And so yes, we stand three butts. Three butts that are all standing next to each other on the train track. Why? We don't know. We never find out. We never know.

They just went, we need some butts. We need some butts. And people love trains, and they love butts. Yes. We need butts. There you go. And hey, while we're staying in Doug Jones, obviously the tallest person in the movie.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy's huge. Tallest guy. All right, we're getting them all out of the way. All right. And so, okay, that's the first time we see the Bye Bye Man. He just kind of pops out and is scary and doesn't really do anything.

Later, Elliot is doing research in the library. He's on one of those fake movie search websites. It's in the Google font, but it just says search. I love those. Yes, yes. What is the reason for that? I watched that and that was the most confusing part of this bad movie.

Can you not show? I guess Google is a, you know. But you don't get in trouble if you show Google on screen. They might charge you for something. Because maybe they don't want you looking up something spooky. Wasn't that just free advertising? I don't know. I've never you for something. Because maybe they don't want you looking up something spooky. Wasn't that just free advertising? I don't know. I've never understood dummy products.

If you use their search engine to summon the Bye Bye Man. That's a good point. They're liable for that. We don't want to be associated with the Bye Bye Man. That's scary. I also love that in so many horror movies, there is a research kind of moment. In The Ring, she's like going and researching and looking through the library.

And it's like, does every horror movie involve the library? You gotta go to the library. Yeah, you gotta go to the library. I mean, it, you gotta go to the library. There's always a horror movie with the library. It's true. It's great. Public libraries, they're a wonderful resource. Yeah, we can't do, if public libraries go away, then there's gonna be no more intrigue and horror movies.

How will we learn about our monsters? I guess. Okay, so we go back into the flashback with the dude from the beginning. It's weird how much they don't explain the bye-bye man, but this flashback is unpacked constantly. Yeah. So yeah, so, kills the neighbors,

and then he, like, puts the gun in his mouth and kills himself. Oh, no, he drinks, like, bleach under the counter. I thought it was gasoline. It was Drano. Drano. Drano? He drinks Drano.

That's crazy. Yeah, it seems like if you're gonna kill yourself, there's, like, knives around. Yeah, that's true. He was just in the heat of the moment, because I think the Bye Bye Man was coming towards them and he just grabbed something and went for it. But what was he going to do, kill him?

I don't know. We don't know what the Bye Bye Man does. That's a very good point. We sure don't. We know there's something about taking people's eyes out, which was another thing that wasn't explained. And there's so much shit that isn't explained. Yeah.

I don't know. And it's like, I, like, in a good movie, in a good movie where people are in control, like, leaving out that information can be deliberate, right, like it's like, we want you to be thinking about this, we want there to be some mystery around this, and you know, and I don't like in, like, modern movies where it feels like you have to get a long explanation for everything, but like, this movie in general, I want there to be some mystery around this. And I don't like in modern movies where it feels like you have to get a long explanation

for everything. But this movie needs it. It just feels like they forgot to shoot stuff. Well, there's some things like, I don't know, there's movies that are super spooky and mystery is involved. And it's fun to kind of put things together. Because there's symbolism. Sure, yeah. I don't know. Some kind of put things together. Because there's symbolism. Sure, yeah. I don't know.

Some kind of emotion behind it. These characters had, like, they tried to give our main dude a backstory about his parents being dead. And then it didn't really do anything either. And these characters have nothing going on in their lives. But yeah, I was like, I don't care about all these little breadcrumbs of spooky

that don't connect to each other or to anything else. It's just like frustrating. You feel like you missed something. You feel like, yeah, I mean, and you know, we talk about the various moments of these movies where we zone out. Yeah. I constantly in this movie, I'm like, what did I miss? And I think just nothing. I think they just don't bother to explain shit. No, you missed nothing. I mean, in the library scene, we meet the best actor in the whole movie who is the librarian. Oh yeah, she's great. She's a lot of fun. She's so good.

Played by Cleo King, who's a great actress. Oh yeah, I didn't recognize her from anything. She's fun. One of those character actresses that's like in tons of stuff, she's really funny. But in this, you like like her immediately. She's like, I don't know, you believe everything that's going on.

But we do know that like, okay, so the dude who shot everybody in 69, it was a big story kind of in their town or whatever. And all of the like info had kind of been wiped from public records. So they're like in these privatized records or something. I don't know. And then how that happens, people don't really know

how somebody stripped it from the records. So yeah, so like it does, at some point, our characters just kind of know the story of the Bye Bye Man. And so it's like, is this, and I guess I'm like, I guess this was just an urban legend around this town. But there's not that scene where people are like, the Bye Bye Man's gonna get you. All right, that's just an urban legend. And I know that's not that scene where people are like, the bye-bye man's gonna get you. All right, that's just an urban legend.

And I know that's cliche, but you fucking need that, because they just, I'm like, oh, they know about it? 45 minutes in when no one has explained it to them? They're like, well, that's probably the bye-bye man. But they can't say it, because if you say it, then yeah. Oh, sure. Exactly. Anyway, so okay, so he's, Elliot's driving around with the goth friend.

They're talking about doing another seance, everybody starts hallucinating and she thinks she sees a family on the train tracks and then she runs out and gets hit by a train. I guess that's the connection to the train imagery, it was foreshadowing that, I don't know. I don't know either, I think that the people who were dead on the train tracks were those ghosts

of people that the Bye Bye Man had gotten or something. It was fucking nuts. Anyway, so investigate, hey, this is what, this movie picks up a little bit here because the cop investigating this, played by Carrie Anne Moss. Ow, ow!

Yeah, ooh, Hunk Watch part two! Yes. Always good to see her and stuff. She's great, I mean, she is jacked to do in this. Like, she has two scenes. I think, before we were recording, I think you had the observation of, like, they're trying to make a franchise

and, like, promising you that Carrie Anne Moss is gonna be in the next one. Well, they should have just done it from the get-go with Carrie Anne Moss, because that would have been our, you know, kind of the ring situation. Like, the Naomi Watts, the person who is a detective... Sure.

...who would have gotten more information about what was going on. We only had a person who is a detective, who would have gotten more information about what was going on. We only had a detective who is specializing in figuring clues and things connected to each other out, and instead we didn't get to have that lovely experience. We just had three doofy college kids. Sure. Anyway, I mean, and one of them with a pretty nice dick root,

but yeah. Not a lot of other qualities between these three. So Elliot goes to see the wife of the guy who killed everyone. Yeah, you're right. He didn't kill his wife because he goes to see Faye Dunaway in a scene. But also, it's like, yeah, I think you're right. A lot of shit was probably cut

because you've got two like big actresses in this movie who are barely in it. It's so weird. And it's probably just the thing that we can afford them for a day. What can we do with them, you know, for a day, I guess. Why would they do this movie? Yeah, I know, I think these movies like,

you know, this is kind of a recent horror movie and I feel like sometimes for the older characters you kind of stunt cast a little bit. We can get this great, you know? Because the insidious movies do that sometimes and I think that's kind of what this wants to be a little bit. Anyway, yeah.

Here's something I will say is this was 2017. 2018 is when Hereditary came out. I think that we were in a huge horror lull leading up to 2018, and then it was like, oh, we can make horror movies good. Cool, and now we're in this horror renaissance kind of. Yeah, the Bye Bye Man was the last. Snowman and Bye Bye Man were the kiss of death.

And then I was like, shut it down. We need to reconfigure every horror movie. Yeah, get A24 and Neon out here. Oh yeah, sure. We got stuff to do. Yeah, compelling weirdo movies. So, Annie, the librarian who we mentioned that we all love, she's like hallucinating.

It kind of implied that she killed her kids. Yeah. And that to me, I'm like, you know, very dark, but I'm like, okay, this is kind of, you know, seeing her in the kitchen and you see the little kid's feet, I'm like, this know, very dark, but I'm like, okay, this is kind of, you know, seeing her in the kitchen and you see the little kid's feet, I'm like, this is a little grim, this is a little like, you know, juicy,

there's something here. And then she just gets hit by a car. I know, which made no sense, because she was just standing in the middle of the road. And there's that shot now, where you know that's gonna happen, that perfectly framed shot where someone is in the middle of the road,

and I think it's meant to be a jump scare, but they do it in fucking every movie and it's just not anymore. Should also be illegal. When you see that shot, I'm like, well, here comes the car, here comes the bad CGI car that's gonna fake hit them. Well, there was a cool moment in that

because there's some other kid in the road and he's like, fuck it, I'm gonna pile through this Yeah, and then he fades away and then he's looking behind him And then I was like the kids gonna be like sitting next to him like the ghost of the bye-bye man or something That's what I thought was and then it was the lady the librarian Who is conveniently on this like in the middle of nowhere on this highway that? He just happens to be on yeah, like, in the middle of nowhere on this highway that he just happens to be on? Yeah. Like, why is she there?

Totally neutralizing her as, like, a scary threat, because we just saw that she clearly killed her kids. You're like, uh-oh, forget the Bye Bye Man. The librarian's after you now. Right, yes. And then boom. She's the shush-shush woman. She tells you to shush-shush.

Shh. These are the sequels. This is the Bye Bye Man cinematic universe. 2025, Honk Honk Man. 2026, Shush Shush Woman. 2027. Fuck fuck guy. Fuck fuck guy, yes.

What's the Avengers where they all come together? I don't know. Anyway, so like everybody's hallucinating, we're back at the house. What's the Avengers where they all come together? I don't know. Anyway. So like everybody's hallucinating, we're back at the house, the roommate, so it seems like the roommate, I'm gonna call him Dick Root. Dick Root looks like he's stabbing the female roommate

and then Elliot shoots him. Oh wait. So he thinks he's shooting, I don't know where he got the gun. No, no, we forgot about the sex scene. Did we? What's this? Oh right, because he hallucinates them having sex.

Yes. So he's jealous now. And it was, looked great. Yeah. That fake sex, that hallucination sex. Didn't need to happen at all. That scene didn't need to happen at all. Anyway, yeah, so he comes back and.

He comes back and it looks like, so he thinks he's shooting the roommate, but then we see that was a hallucination and he shot his girlfriend. Which I liked that shot, actually. Yeah, there's a kind of like fucked up shock there. Well, she kind of hovers up, so he like, grabs the dude who he thinks is his dude friend

who is stabbing his girlfriend in the face Which was crazy and then he's like rolled over on top the guys on top of him He shoots him in the stomach and he thinks he's rolling the guy away And then you have the camera in his point of view and he brings the body back and it's his girlfriend's dead body I thought that was really cool. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't explain it well, but it's very scary. I did get a little bit of a like, oh wow, okay, that's fucked up out of that. Yeah, there's a lot of creepy hallucinations stuff

that I did like about this, but then it's like, why not just make it a disease that makes you hallucinate? Why do we need this guy in a raincoat? I don't know what the point of that is. As I was watching the movie, I literally said to myself, well, you don't need to make a movie. You could just like, you could get another job. Don't make the movie.

You could get to be a substitute teacher. Sure, a lot of great jobs out there. Blog, you could blog. I just feel like watching that movie, you're just like, there's other careers out there. You could do a turkey trot. Absolutely, you know? You could run a petting zoo.

There you go, a lot of fun stuff to do. So the Bye Bye Man is there, his creepy, skinless dog is there. Yeah, great CGI, not. Boy, yeah, the dog looks so bad, the dog's awful. So bad, he looks kinda like a hot dog. Just cover a real dog in meat. Yeah, he just.

The dog loves it. And it looks scarier. I know. And it was like shaped all weird and stuff. I don't know, it was really weird. So the little girl comes back, her dad, who's I guess the main guy's brother, brings the kid, I don't know why they're there.

And then the kind of maybe think he's gonna shoot the little kid, but then he shoots himself. He killed the guy, Elliot kills himself to get rid of the bye-bye man. And then, the shocking tease, which we'll get to right over this. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, this is Free With Ads.

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So yes, you can use Jumbotrons to declare love for us if you want, but also, you know, for anything else, maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron. All right, back to the show. We're back. It's Free With Eds. We're about to talk about the shocking conclusion of The Bye Bye Man. So our main guy, he's killed himself and it seems like everybody else is dead, but Dick Root's alive. Yay! He's alive. He's getting carried out on a stretcher.

Carried out, and who sees him but carry him. Carry him, Moss! And she comes up to him, and he whispers, it was the bye-bye man. Did he say it? Because I thought it was like her going, tell me. Yeah, they turned down the audio, so you're not sure what's happening.

It's like the end of, what's that, Bill Burry's Scarlett Johansson movie? It's lost in translation. There you go, yeah. It's like the end of, what's that, Bill Burry's Scarlett Johansson movie? It's lost in translation. There you go, yeah. See, like the end of, what did he say? What did he say? It's a MacGuffin. Right.

You don't know, man. God. Schrodinger's Bye Bye Man. Yeah. He probably just said, honk, honk. Shush, shush, woman, got hit by car. Honk, honk. The worst part of that is literally as he's whispering,

she, Carrie Anne Moss looks into the camera. I saw that. And then cuts to black. And I was like, that is the worst ending I've ever seen. Yeah, did we hear bye bye man? Are we dead now? But my, the other thing is, so the bye, bye man, when he appears, and God, I hate having to say that

all over, like over and over, and when he appears to our main dude, he like puts his finger on his forehead for some reason, and he doesn't see anything cool, he just sees that his brother and niece are at the door. And you're like, what is the fingering story? There you go. Fingering story.

Yep, so the Bye Bye Man fingers this guy's forehead, and we don't even see anything cool. Yeah. And I'm also like, what happens if the Bye Bye Man kills you? Why do you always have to kill yourself? Yeah, Bye Bye Man doesn't do shit in this. He just walks up. Neither does his dog.

All his dog does is create scratch marks and brick. Yeah, and walks out. And you're just like, oh no, a dog. Dog didn't do nothing. Yeah. Okay, so here's the synopsis of the short story that this is based on. Okay.

So you can kind of see why they did all these specifics. It's weirdly faithful to the story. Okay, this is just from IMDB. The story on which the film is based, The Bridge to Bodie Island, better name, has a much more complex mythology for the Bye Bye Man. He was an albino born in New Orleans in 1912, who ran away as a child and became a derelict who lived in a TRAIN YARD. After going blind, he began murdering people and cutting out their eyes and tongues, which he sewed together and brought to life using voodoo.

The resultant creature became the Bye Bye Man's literal seeing eye dog, helping it so the dog is like stitched together from body parts. Several elements from the story, notably the dog and the motif of trains, were retained for the movie, though their purpose is left undefined. So he was al-bye-bye-no.

Oh, he was al-bye-bye-no. Yes, he is the al-bye-bye-no man. Yes, yes he is the al-bye-bye-no man. That's so weird that they expected people to know the lore. Yeah, weird, totally weird. It just didn't take a swing at it. It's so specific too. It's like, you know, yeah. Even if it's bad, even if you do a bad job of explaining the lore, at least we get an explanation

for the train shit. Why'd I see butts if you're not gonna tell me why? Why did I see the butts? Why'd I see them? Yeah, and cutting out their eyes and tongues, which he sewed together and brought to life. So he brought the people to life or the eyes and tongues? Well, I guess the dog is a collection of eyes and tongues.

What the fuck? The dog is made of eyes and tongues? Again, this is a better movie. I know. Whatever this is is a better movie. Because it's an idea. Yeah, sure. This movie is a whole movie without an idea.

There's one idea. It's like what if Bloody Mary, but you only have to say it once. Yeah. Well there's like, OK, so here, but you only have to say it once. Yeah. Well there's like, okay, so here's a few things I was thinking about. We got the coins, why? Right. Never talked about the coins.

Oh yeah, sure. So, and is it there a thing about when you're sent to the River Styx, there's like some things where you put coins on your eyes Yeah, yeah, yeah. to like afford the fare to get in. And that probably your eyes are taken out or whatever. And then the Hounds of Hell.

I was like, this guy is probably the Grim Reaper or something going on here. Because I was like, OK, they are missing eyes. There's some coins. There's the. And so I was like, I think he's a demon or something with the, and we're gonna connect, nothing. Nothing.

Nothing. They started with the Halloween costume design and said, how do we make a whole movie around this? Yeah. And they didn't even feature it that much in the movie. Yeah, I know, right. That hooded coat that he has, right. It feels like they like, this is the new scream mask

and it's not. Well, yeah, like also if I were those kids, I'd be like, all right, let's see what the deal is with this jacket if I put it on, because it's been hanging on the wall all the time. Yeah, I also would have been like, well, let's see what the Bye Bye Man does. Yeah.

I'd be like, so far all he does is make you trip, like trip balls. He's like, oh shit, is there a fire going on? I would have said, like, what do you want? Like, what do you want from me? Like, if he was, like, my girlfriend's dead, my buddy's face is all stabbed up, I'd be like, what is it you want? Why are you doing this, and what's happening?

I just want someone to hang out with. I'm so lonely. You want to come with me to the dog park? Oh, do you have a dog, too? They could be dog friends. Don't worry, my dog just smells your dog. That's why he's sniffing you. He's my fur baby.

Oh, you're going? Okay, bye-bye. Bye-bye. All right, so we're going to rank the Bye Bye Man on a scale of one to ten Super Light Commerce, but first we're going to talk about the best lines in the movie. So, you know, there's no good lines in the movie. But, and we've complained about the overall story, but like the second-to-second dialogue in this movie doesn't make much sense.

And there's this back and forth that just drove me crazy. It made me think like it had been written through Google Translate. Matt, can you play this? Oh, God. You okay? No, maybe I shouldn't be playing baseball in the cold. That's the problem with being an alcoholic. Oh, shut up. I didn't even drink that much.

Maybe that was a mistake. Okay, maybe I shouldn't play baseball in the cold. That's the problem with being an alcoholic. What the fuck does that mean? Like, it's written like, it's like Tommy Wiseau wrote it. Yeah, sure. It's what it feels like. It has that. It's very The Room.

That's so true. Yeah. Do you have a line you wanna play? Okay, so I do have a line. The little girl, good actress, here's the thing, you're a kid, it doesn't matter. Sure. But at the end of the movie, when it's the whole,

like the brother and little girl trying to get in and she has to pee real bad, even though she sees her uncle is bleeding from his face. It's like, come on, I'm freezing like a popsicle. And I gotta pee and all this stuff. I'm like, just kill the girl. I would kill the girl. Like, so there was actually before I get to the line,

there's another and this is so bad. Most of the female characters in this, the main ones are just, they're horribly written and I just feel bad for them. But our main girl, Sasha was her name, is sick for some reason. She gets sick after the stay on. Yeah, the bye-bye man gives her a cold, I guess.

I guess, and she is like bad acting, coughing the whole thing. And I'm like, just die. Maybe she's never coughed. Just die. Like kill the little girl. Kill Sasha. I am so over it.

But anyway, so the little girl, they get in the truck and the house is on fire with her uncle in it. She's unfazed. And they're in the car and he goes, he won't mind the fire anymore. And she's like, OK. And I'm like, I hope that word she piss is kind of what I want to know.

But anyway, so she's like, I found these coins he must have left for me. And we're like, oh, fuck. Those coins that we don't understand. We don't understand. And then she's like, I found them in the little table with all the writing. And he goes, the writing and he goes the writing

What what was the writing and she goes? Kill me fucking kill me My You can kill me. I, my. What do you think I am, a flashlight? Also, you know I can't read in the dark. Everyone knows that people can't read in the dark. Is this a conversation you have with your dumb ass dad?

Like what are you. Anyway. I hate that little girl. Those are some things people said in the movie, the bye bye man. We're gonna rank the movie. Oh wait, I have a favorite line, I'm sorry. Oh yeah Matt what do you got? Oh yeah the very opening of this movie because it has a line that literally

trashes the rest of the movie. Did you tell anyone? About the name the name yeah I told Rick he thought it was funny. I'm, but does that not undercut the rest of the movie? It's that I would love it if it was a movie about a name that's so funny that you can't help but say it. Even if you die. Sure. Dick Butkus! He was a football coach! Oh my god. Also, we were talking about this earlier.

At the opening of this movie, the amount of production companies involved with the Bye Bye Man is crazy. And they all have very bad logos. Well, the last one to appear is this guy pointing, much like the Bye Bye Man, into a fiery abyss. And so I thought that was part of the movie, and then I was like, when is the movie?

I'm so... I know, this movie is... I was already annoyed. This movie's a money laundering scheme. It is! All right, so those are things people said in the movie, The Bye Bye Man. We're gonna rank it on a scale of one to 10

super loud commercials when we come back. It's Free With Ads. We're gonna rank The Bye Bye Man on a scale of one to 10 super loud commercials. Matt, you wanna go first? Yeah, I'm giving this a four. Okay. It's not the worst movie I've ever seen, but it is terrible and it is so entertaining. I truly thought, I was watching it going like,

what are they gonna screw up next? This is so bad. Good for them. Emily, what do you got? up next? This is so bad, good for them. Emily, what do you got? I gave it a 4.5. Okay. Because it was super entertaining. I was intrigued from the moment it started

and then I was like, okay, there's only like, 15 minutes left of this movie, how are they gonna wrap it up? Like this. Oh, they're not. Yeah, not at all. They're not. But, not at all. They're not. But I forgot to also say, as this team of Free With Eds,

we love soundtracks. We do. And we love needle drops. There is a moment where our main character is going nuts driving a car singing Bye Bye Love. Oh, that's right. Yeah. And.

Uh-huh. It's so mad. We can afford one song. One song and it's just bye bye love All right, so I think I think It might be recency bias. I think this is my least favorite movie we've watched for the podcast. It's a zero for me.

The Bye Bye Man is a goose egg. Even worse than Skeleton Key. Yeah, I think this is worse than Skeleton Key. I think this is worse than Godzilla 98. For me. And it, you know, and it's like, I enjoyed watching the blob. I enjoyed watching, you know, and it's like, I enjoyed watching the blob. I enjoyed watching, you know, House on Haunted Hill.

And these are like comparably bad movies, but like, you know, I think the retro thing just does a lot for me. Like, you know, I love a, you know, I like a diner, I love listening to music on vinyl. The retro vibes are nice. And I think those movies like are bad, but they're having fun.

I think they're like having, they kinda get it, there's some intentional camp in there, and I think this is like, it's trying to be trippy, it's trying to be fucked up, and I don't know. I think just the shooting for that and failing didn't do anything for me, and I think for me personally, I like a different flavor of my good bad movie, and The Bye Bye Man was not it for me personally, I like a different flavor of my good, bad movie. And The Bye Bye Man was not it for me.

So I think The Bye Bye Man is a zero, zero man in my opinion. Nice. A zero, zero man. That's fair. That is fair. So that was The Bye Bye Man. Let's talk about some plugs.

I think I have a group plug for our show, Free With Ads. If you go to maximumfund.org slash join and support Maximum Fund, the network that brings you our show, you get access to a bunch of bonus content, including our series on Free With Ads TV pilots. If you go up there right now, you can listen to our review of the pilot of Gotham.

Yeah. This is one of Emily's favorite shows. Yes. you can listen to our review of the Pilot of Gotham. Yeah! This is one of Emily's favorite shows. Yes. This is the DC Universe procedural cop show. Kinda. It's like in that universe where they weren't allowed to say the names of certain characters. Right.

So they kinda flubbed it. Sure. So they're always talking about, have you seen that mysterious bat guy and his friend, the clown villain? Yes, exactly. Yeah, Gotham, a ton of fun. And these episodes are a ton of fun. MaximumFun.org slash join.

We're going to be putting a lot of great stuff in that feed in the coming months. So make sure you're all joined up so you can listen. Individual plugs, Emily, what do you got? Well, this is kind of a group plug for all of us. October 25th is Good Mythical Evening. We are all cast members, and we make regular appearances on Good Mythical Morning on YouTube,

and every year we do an R-rated show that you gotta buy tickets for because it's so shocking. It is so shocking. Anything can happen. Yeah, truly. I can get a titty injury. That's right. Falling through a wall like I did last year.

It actually happened one year. It happened last year, yeah. And they're also selling tickets for people to watch live at Alamo Drafthouses all over the US. So if you go to goodmythicalevening.com, you can see if there's an Alamo Drafthouse in your area that is participating, and you could also buy tickets for the show.

Yeah, tons of fun. Good Mythical Evening. We will all be there. We will all be having fun, and two of us will be drunk. Yes. Not me. I don't know, they may keep an eye on me this year.

Sure. Okay, guess me then, oh no. Sorry, Matt, bye bye sobriety. And I will say, if you're in the LA area, I'm gonna be at the Heavy Manners Comics Fair on October 12th. That is in the beautiful Silver Lake neighborhood. Heavy Manners Comics Fair, it is a fun, fun place

that celebrates indie comics, zines, all that good stuff. And they're having a comics fair the 12th and the 13th. I will be there on the 12th. You can go to heavymannerslibrary.com to find out more and I hope to see some Free With Ads fans out there on the 12th. Yay! All right, that's it for Free With Ads.

Tune in next week when our Halloween movie will be The Faculty. and royalty.