Free With Ads - Thumbelina

Episode Date: September 3, 2024

Jordan and Emily watched another Don Bluth animated classic this week, the 1994 Hans Christian Andersen adaptation Thumbelina, starring The Little Mermaid, Iago The Parrot from Aladdin, and Charo as a frog.Jordan will be in Portland, Oregon from Sept 6-8 for Rose City Comic Con where he will be signing books at Artist's Alley, table AL-04.Want to have your very own message read by Emily, Jordan, and Matt? Well you can for a very reasonable price by going to https://maximumfun.org/jumbotron/Visit Emily's ETSY store right now and buy some stuff!Talk about Free With Ads on Reddit! Join www.reddit.com/r/maximumfun/ and while you're at it also join www.reddit.com/r/freewithads/To listen to our bonus content, join Maximum Fun now

This This is Free With Ads, the podcast that asks the question, why pay Netflix eight bucks a month to rot your kid's brain with Cocomelon when you can go on YouTube for free and show them a movie that enriches their appreciation for Barry Manilow and frogs with huge tits. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Emily Fleming. Today's movie is Thumbelina, the 90s animated fairy tale

that some people will say is for babies, but is actually a cool movie for big kids. We're going to be talking about this movie, which is, as of this recording, streaming free with ads. But before we do that, we wanted to talk about something else we saw for free on the internet this week.

Other free stuff. Emily, you have a news story here that you brought to my attention. This concerns the British pop singer Lily Allen. Emily, what's going on in the world of Lily Allen? that um all of us who work on the internet or in this industry that we call entertainment have thought about how um there's a market for feet pics out there oh yes yes and i've always felt like oh well if i start doing the feet pics people think i'm a sellout or or something like that yeah and the thing is there's a lot of uptight people

you know who don't see the you know the beauty in a high arch right exactly or in like something salacious yeah listen I collect pictures of long toes

because I love art and I love, you know, just the physical. It's not a horny thing. No. I mean, you're jacking off, but. Yeah, but I do that to Monet as well. Exactly. No one calls me a weirdo when I'm jacking off at the Louvre. No.

Well, so I guess she started this in July Lily Allen um if you all don't know who she is if y'all are some young folks go check her out she's I really liked her music back that you know she's married to um David Tim Allen no no the sheriff from Stranger Things oh I like him yeah I know I like him too I'm I'm a little pissed he's married now. What song did Lily Allen do? I forgot. She's got like the, I'll be taken over by the fear. I don't know if that's helpful. I guess I don't know Lily Allen.

There's quite a few things that she's done, but I can't think of any other. Maybe like 2010s, you know, 2008, 2009, kind of that world. A little more like a little some more indie cred than a, you know, a Britney Spears or whatever. Yeah. She has started selling feet pics on OnlyFans. Yes. She says, here's the link for my future toe daddies. Right. That she put on her Twitter account.

And I will say that the name of the page, this is good. This got a slow clap from me, is La Dolce Fita. La Dolce Fita. Wow. I mean, fucking wild. Yeah. I mean, right. Because i'm sure there are people who are like this is gross how could she this is weird but like i don't know go for it right yeah

i'm a hundred percent for it and not not on a sec not not on like a uh horny place like just on a place of like listen if there's a market for it and i can't think of something that is more victimless than someone selling their feet pics you know what i mean it's true but i guess people kind of go well you're already a rich celebrity how come you're diving into this world of whatever and i think that there are feet pic dollars to go around yeah there's no feet to go around there's no dollars to go but i Yeah, there's no feet to go around. There's no feet to go around. But I guess that the lady who does her nails informed

Lily Allen that she had five stars on WikiFeet and that's why she decided to do it. So I have like maybe two stars on WikiFeet. I wonder if you guys have, let me look if Matt matt or yeah look if oh are we

on wiki feet i've never thought about it i hadn't even thought to check i don't know that i've ever been barefoot on camera but but um maybe i don't know about it hold on i'm looking myself up i'm not seeing anything that sucks that's fucked up But sometimes it's kind of hard to find. Let me find. Let's see what Jordan. Jordan Morris. Well, you guys got to start. How about this?

When we release this episode. Yeah. I'm going to post onto the Free With Ads Instagram page some of your best feet pics i want you to be creative go nuts show us what you got you got it you and matt okay i'll do it all right oh no oh no i'm on what what no way but i'm on wiki feet because my wife is on wiki v oh wow wow she's got like four and a half stars that's pretty good pretty good they're right they're right that half star was for taste by the way you bagged yourself a little stomper didn't you yeah a little stomper but she's got to work on the taste of those two all right i'm, I'm sorry. I'm grossing myself out.

Okay, so I'm on my WikiFeet. I have three stars. Okay. Up from the last time you checked. Congratulations. Thank you. But it does say that I'm a year younger than I am, which I really appreciate that, WikiFeet. WikiFeet somehow knows my wife's exact age and birthday.

My address is up there. My social. But can I tell you the most recent? My mom's maiden name? Yes, please. My most recent review. Oh, yeah, what do you got up there? This is from April of this year.

She's so hot, but those are some unholy, horrendous feet. Oh, that's not true. Hold on. Now I'm going. Is it weird if I look? You can tell me. I won't look if I'm going is it weird if i look you can tell me i won't look if i'm not no no you could look okay well that's highly disappointing so those are great feet those are great feet hon put them back on please there's reviews i love that that sounds like that was written by a sassy Southern aunt. I know.

It's probably one of my aunts. But yeah. Soap those in some swite tay. Yeah. That's a swite tay. What are you? Okay. So I want to know when,

when have you been barefoot on camera long enough for people to get a screenshot of it? Well, I posted some like open toed shoes pics on my instagram oh gotcha gotcha and i have a couple of pics where like i guess my i was barefoot and so people screenshotted that and uploaded it gotcha yeah yeah so that's what's going on these are people who are like combing through famous people people's Instagrams and stuff and looking for any glimpse of a piggy. They're just like, ooh, that little piggy went to market.

Can we refocus the WikiFeet people to true crime? Because it sounds like they could probably solve some murders. Yeah, I feel like they seem to have a lot of energy. Yeah, I feel like they seem to have a lot of energy. Well, and also there's like all this stuff about feet washing up on shores sometimes. Wait, what are you talking about? Like they've been separated from the human? Well, yeah, there's sometimes like, I guess at certain times of year, the tide is different and then feet wash ashore.

I don't know about. You mean like you like murderers who put who cut up bodies? Maybe that or maybe people fell in or maybe people fell in on purpose. Maybe that happened. But how did the feet fall off? I don't know. You think all these wiki feet guys are just booking beach vacations? Yeah. Just sitting there waiting for stuff to wash up.

Like Patrick Swayze at the end of Point Break. Well, listen. 50-year storm. There's going to be all these feet. Maybe they get separated during the undertow. Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to say it.

Better than La Dolce Fita. But yeah, so we're going to post you two're gonna you're gonna get some feet because we gotta get you on wiki and we definitely talked about this beforehand yes we are so i want you to put like maybe maybe a little outfit on your feet i don't know okay a little foot hat or something i can't wait for this okay here we go sure but yeah lily allen do your thing girl whoever has the whoever gets the highest rating has to buy socks for everybody else oh i love that oh we should have free with ad socks oh yeah that is a good idea or merch in general any with ads oh sure wow there it Wow. There it is. Another one. And we thought Lily Allen was the best at puns. She ain't got shit.

Oh, fuck. Well, yeah. Speaking of feet and toes, we're about to talk about a movie that concerns a thumb-like person. Good segue. Seamless transition. Seamless transition. I am good at this.

I am a professional. You are. And I deserve all of my success. Anyway, not an imposter at all. Yes, from feet to thumb, Alina is where we're going. Yes, very nice. Emily, this was your pick. Tell us about your experience with

the movie Thumbelina from 1992 I believe yeah I think so I just remember this was again I think this was the Don oh 94 so I was 8 when this came out and my sister was like

oh my god my sister was like 3 years old we loved this this was like, oh my God, my sister was like three years old. We loved this. This was like the Don Bluth era of cutesy stuff. Cause it was land before time. All dogs go to heaven. American tale, kind of a little bit more bleak, I guess,

or like a little bit more hard lessons. And then there was this movie and a Troll in Central Park like came out. Okay. That was another one. And they're kind of enchanting, bubbly movies. Yeah, this is like, like All Dogs Go to Heaven is so like unique and weird. And this does feel like someone told him,

just do a Disney. Just do it. Like we will get the voice of the Little Mermaid to be in it. We will get Gilbert Gottfried to be in it. Just make a thing that is as close to Disney as you can. Carol Channing. Carol Channing, yeah. It's amazing.

My favorite thing is also, yes, they got the voice of the Little Mermaid to be in this. Yeah. And then she literally says lines that also exist in the Little Mermaid. She'll go, my voice like they keep talking about how she has a beautiful voice oh interesting i didn't notice that it's very similar in fact in that sense where it's like yeah very like what if it's it's about singing it's like

another movie about singing with her yeah and you gotta feel good as an actress. So we love the music, my family. My dad, we, that first song, Thumbelina, we know all the words to that song. I will say, when I heard this was a musical, I was kind of bracing myself for something like All Dogs Go to Heaven that has that wacko, atonal music where it seems like Burt Reynolds is just scatting and then someone tried to write music underneath it.

I was like, oh, boy, is this going to be more of that? I love the music in this. It's great. Barry Manilow did most of it. That's crazy. I did not know that at all until you told me recently. Yeah, totally. It's kind of cool.

And I had a memory. I in high school, there was a like big arena concert venue that we could sneak into it was called uh irvine meadows i think it's now i think then it changed to verizon wireless amphitheater now i think it's nothing um i saw third eye blind there did you awesome that's awesome best band in the world um so we could we could like we found out how to sneak into venue. We would like go around and then like climb a fence. And we, so we would just go see like anything that was there. And we went to see Barry Manilow. We snuck in to see Barry Manilow and it, and we, you know, went to laugh at it because

he was such a punchline in the 90s. Like he was just like shorthand for bad music, shorthand for like your dad's music. And he was great when that he played copa cabana the place went fucking wild i remember the the the primal sexual cheer that went up when he started copa cabana i mean i don't know the guys got it i there's some great barry manilow songs i'm surprised he didn't get Bette Midler in this movie. Oh, yeah. Because he didn't he play piano

for her and her like one woman shows and everything. They had a relationship. I didn't know that. But that sounds that sounds right. Yeah. But yeah, it's this the music. Every single song is a banger to me.

Yeah, I like that. I like the music a lot. We're going to be playing a little bit of it later in the episode. I can't wait.'t wait so yeah let's let's start talking about it um once upon a time in paris the the story is being told to us by giacomo a clown bird with hands with hands who is also a character in the story that he's telling it doesn't make sense. That's fine. He sings a song telling us to follow our heart. Fucking finally a kids movie that teaches us to

follow our hearts. It's about time someone took a stand. Like most of the kids movies that are just like get a job. Do what your dad wants. Work in the family business. Go work at your dad's office. Literally Belle they tell her to stop reading. Don't read.

Singing ain't going to put no food on no table. Stop reading and singing. It's the story of Thumbelina. We cut to the inside of a storybook. There's a childless woman who I think is definitely the tallest person in this movie. Tallest guy.

Yeah, I think she's probably of average height, but everybody else in this movie is a tiny little person. Anyway, she plants a seed of barley corn and from that seed of barley corn rises a flower and inside is Thumbelina. The flower blooms.

She's born. She's got all her clothes on and looks about 25. Yes. Thumbelina, just born. I know. It's tough. I mean, what else are you going to do? I mean, you know, she can't be nude in the flower.

Well, you could have the flower petals be a kind of wrapped up piece of clothing or something. Yeah, someone should draw that. That would be cute. Someone has drawn that, Matt. Someone has absolutely drawn that. I will say that I had a Thumbelina doll. Oh, did you? Like from the movie?

From the movie. But she was big. She was like a Barbie doll. And it's like? Like from the movie? From the movie. And she was, but she was big. She was like a Barbie doll. And it's like, bitch, wouldn't you just make it? Okay. Missed opportunity. I think to make her Thumbelina size. But she was really beautiful.

And then as I was watching this, I looked up Thumbelina costume. I think I'm going to buy it. Oh, dang. Okay. The dress. So you can buy her little outfit yes what are we dropping on a Thumbelina costume

alright let's see I think it was like a 40 something bucks type thing but I'll be the biggest ass Thumbelina you've ever seen in your life just the biggest 6 foot tall Thumbelina I made the mistake of going on DeviantArt and looking for naked Thumbelina.

And I don't feel good about it. Not as fun as you thought it was going to be. No, it wasn't as fun as I thought. Well, there's people who make these dresses. Like eBay, someone made a really beautiful one. This is $53. And I think I want want it it's really pretty get someone to dress up like the gilbert godfrey beetle

honestly her beetle costume which we'll get to later is so cool looking oh yeah i love the design of all the characters in this movie is so pretty and fun. Everyone has cool little outfits on. I love it. I love it. I love it. Yeah. Don Bluth, strong point, visuals and vibes, weak point, story and plot. Yes.

Well, I have been told that this movie is very, very close to the Hans Christian Andersen story. Oh, maybe. Yeah, maybe so. Maybe just a just a devotion to the original text but yes it is uh you know it's all over the place but we should probably tell everyone there is some um a whiff of racist caricature voices yes but also human trafficking yeah well that seems to be kind of a mainstay of the plot so i don't know how we can avoid we can't avoid it but i mean i'm just saying yeah i i think what you know this is definitely like it this is it's very very old-fashioned i think like and in a way of like and I was kind of surprised because when we finally like when we finally meet the prince

who she falls in love with my antenna is like this is a bad guy. He's going to be a bad guy. Right. Interesting. She's going to learn that you have to be your own

your own hero. Nope. Prince is good. He saves her at the end. I'm like oh we spent so much time you know in our entertainment deconstructing fairy tales it's weird to just see it down the middle one right yeah they had they are so magical in many ways but just like have these like bad values you know well yeah we've spent all this time as a culture like picking apart yeah in 2024 to have it be like no no no yeah

no because he's good because he's prince he's royalty prince is good also if you're gonna she's poor women don't leave home prince marry prince don't leave but it's also like you're a pretty woman and if you don't let this guy marry you other people will take you in the night yeah you'll have to marry them so you gotta you got to marry the first dude you meet or else you will be taken away. Yeah, by a frog. I think like if you look back at like what fairy tales were for

in the days of like Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen, they were to scare kids to not leave the house. It was to say like, out there is a bunch of shit. And like in a weird, that is like true. And I'm sure especially if you are is a bunch of shit and like in a weird that is like true and i'm sure especially if you are like a woman and it's like yeah the world is full of fucked up shit that's gonna be after you and like but but it does feel like you know we our kids

entertainment now is like deconstructing that and to just like see it is really interesting and yeah as i mean as you mentioned we will get to there are some uh you know frog characters who are immigrant coded who are evil and treacherous uh one of them is played very hilariously by charo who does a fucking awesome job wonderful job one of a a fucking a national treasure of every nation. Yes. But yeah, so, you know, it's got some icky stuff, but also a lot of great stuff, too. Yes, that's true. Well, yeah, let's talk more about it. So, yeah, so Thumbelina, she lives at her mom's house. She sings with the animals on the farm. There's this song about, you know, how great Thumbelina is.

She falls into a pie. That's hilarious. I laughed my ass off. I'm like, yes, she's in the pie. Fucking hilarious. But then almost died getting cooked in the pie. That's true. It's funny.

I like it. Right in the pie. You little guy, right in the pie. But Thumbelina, she's got a problem. She feels like she's alone. She feels like she's the one person who is as small as she is. Her mom reads her a bedtime story about fairies. So she wants to meet fairies,

and there's this, like, hunky fairy in her storybook that she wants to meet. And so she's, like, singing about how much she wants to meet fairies and, like, doing this little, like, oh, me? Oh, i could never come to the palace with like her storybook and who should fly by on a bee but a fairy prince the guy i was sure was gonna be evil but isn't um can i say something about the storytelling okay please so when her mother who's this adorable old lady who was voiced um i forget the lady's name but she was the first marion peru on broadway in the music man which is cool that's cool i mean the voice

acting is great in this she's yeah she's wonderful but she was reading her the story and it's like here's the fairy prince and fairy princess and they get married and thumbelina goes and they lived happily ever after and then her mom goes well usually because it's like sometimes you end up alone yeah that's true you have to have a daughter by getting a witch to give you a seed and you grow a tiny person so and I kept thinking to myself I'm like so the pope doesn't like surrogacy. What the fuck would he think about this? Oh, he'd be against it. He'd be very against it. The Pope is taking a stand against Thumbelina?

If I wait to hear you, I see that you do not have a plan. That's what the Pope sounds like. J.D. Vance says Thumbelina can't vote? What are we doing here? What are we? What's going on uh yeah so so the prince flies her around on his bee the bee is really cool i want to write a bee oh yeah that's right his name is busby it's very cute yeah uh b is great i like b um and so they're just in love immediately they just love each other they sing a song about being in

love he like returns her to home and i forget how she like leaves the house but for some reason something else she goes out to look for him or something no the frogs come in the house oh that's right so the frogs see her while she's flying around and And then they hear her beautiful singing voice and see how hot and human-y she is. Human-ish, yeah. And they kidnap her. So yeah, they're a family of traveling theater frogs. One of them is voiced by Charo and has huge tits. Worth mentioning, frogs, not mammals.

Where did the tits come from? I don't know, but I love them. I love to think that Charo was like, no, you have to draw me with tits. Well, they basically kind of gave her the ponytail, the big, big poofy hair like Charo. They had fun with it. And she's the most beautiful frog character I've ever seen.

Oh, yeah. I love her. These frogs, obviously not the best characters, but they look very cool. They do. Their songs are great. But my favorite thing is the toad. I don't know if they're frogs or toads, but they're one of those. So Charo has three toad sons, but the one who's kind of the big baddie is named Grundle.

Okay. Yep. Good name for an evil toad sons but the one who's kind of the big baddie is named grundle okay yeah good name for a evil toad yeah for a huns christian anderson toad but then they give him a spanish accent and you're just like that's grundle it's very strange isn't a grundle like like the space between the butthole and the is that a taint or what's a grundle gooch. What's a grundle? So I think this is a hoagie submarine sandwich sub-situation. I think there's regional names for the area betwixt the balls and ass. So I think, and I'll say this was a running bit on Jordan Jesse Go for a while, asking people what that was called where they grew up. And I think that, you know, some know, and I don't know if it's more Southern to call it the grundle,

the taint, the gooch. Yeah. I feel like I knew it as chode. And I think that has many meanings as well. I thought chode was like a penis that was- It's when your penis is thicker than it is long. Yeah. Like a little plateau.

I mean, listen, everyone's got a different name for it. I googled grundle and it said, grundle, one, central antagonist of Thumbelina. Two, the region between the anus and the genitalia. Wow. Okay. So it could be both. There you go. Maybe it was named after the frog.

I would like to think so. Yeah, maybe the frog came first and everyone's just like, that looks like the area between the penis and the balls. Yeah, the Grendel. Excuse me, the ass and the balls. Oh, cool. The Grendel is also a character from the Ghostbusters animated series. It's a malicious ghost who is always looking for a willing child

to manipulate into doing bad things. See? That's not unlike the area between your balls. The balls in your butt, yes. A lot of great grundles out there. So they kidnapped Thumbelina. They put her in a walnut shell. When she went into the walnut shell, I'm like, I wonder if this is something that imprinted

on Emily in any way. Would you like to be put into a walnut shell? A hundred percent, yes. Okay. I, well, okay. Nailed it. The walnut shell was, I mean, that was her bed. Her mom had a big baby cradle,

and then she puts the little walnut shell bed on top of that bed. Yeah. And it had a little quilt on it and everything. I was like, oh, that's so cute, and just quilt on it and everything i was like oh that's so cute and just like go floating down a river in your little acorn but yeah that definitely and also like her being on a lily pad and writing on a lily pad all that stuff was adorable yeah it's really cute i love a tiny person getting into a little thing and using it as something else

very cute so yeah so she kind of gets away from the frog somehow they kind of just leave and they into a little thing and using it as something else. Yeah. Very cute. So, yeah. So she kind of gets away from the frog somehow. They kind of just leave and they say they're going to come back for her. But she escapes thanks to these little critters called the jitterbugs. They are very cute. They're these little just like bugs of all sorts who love her. Yeah. But then she meets up with a beetle played by Gilbert Godbert godfrey oh my god he calls a toots

every every line he says toots and he just starts kissing her he is so funny in this yes i laughed at everything he said uh i mean maybe there's there's one other character in this who i i could maybe argue is a better character we'll get to later okay um but he's he's hilarious and obviously it's like a gross character it's a little icky but oh man fucking gilbert godfrey nails every line um he takes her to the beetle ball um where she is wearing that outfit that emily said they dress her up kind of like as a glamorous beetle she looks like janelle monae that is wearing that outfit that Emily said. They dress her up kind of like as a glamorous beetle. She looks like Janelle Monae. That is something that Janelle Monae would wear.

Oh, yeah. Totally. I mean, it's a beautiful outfit, and I don't know. I loved it. I also just love that she's performing for various types of clubs, essentially. Like, the frogs were on a like a steamboat type thing that you would see like in tom sawyer or something you know what i mean that boat where you can gamble but people are performing right and stuff but the music is like a latin vibe with the frogs and then

with the roaches it's like i i'm not even sure yeah it's vegas it's vegas yeah and there's like, I'm not even sure. Yeah, it's Vegas. It's Vegas. Yeah. And there's like tap dancers and stuff. Yeah. It is. So something I love about this scene and song, this scene is fucking great. They let Gilbert Gottfried do his own singing.

Can we play a little bit of it? This is just Gilbert Gottfried's section from this song. It's so great. My antennae in a knot. Now the room's reeling. And I'm feeling so ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Hot to trot. It's good.

It sounds good. He's great. He's doing a great job. Is he a traditionally good singer? No. Did he fucking sell that absolutely you know cause he's also a Disney voice over

he played the parrot in Aladdin yeah he plays Iago and that was two years earlier too so like he's he's doing Don Bluth a favor here well so we've got the little mermaid and we've got Iago in there but it's also like I wonder how Disney felt about these

major players in their movies doing a similar movie on the other side like he and don bluth i think part of his story is that he worked at disney and fucking hated it and left so yeah this definitely does feel maybe like it's kind of taking a shot at disney a little bit or it's like he's kind of coming for him and yeah and this is I mean if you look at this and the weirdness of all dogs go to heaven this is like him this does feel like him trying to have like his little mermaid commercial yeah and I'm always like surprised that Disney hasn't done a Thumbelina like that's kind of mind-blowing to me you would think so after seeing this movie I'm like i get it yeah it's not the greatest story

in fact i'm not sure how much of this movie is embellishments upon the original story is in the original story is thumbelina does she keep getting kidnapped by carnies who want to have her sing in front of their particular group of animal i'm not sure if it's singing but she does continue to get kidnapped by various creatures because it feels like a hollywood parable you know it's like a story kind of in a star is born yeah sometimes you know as a woman you're going to get tricked by people into thinking you know uh that they're going to help you with their career but really they just want to marry you yeah or it's's like you think you're a big star and then the comment sections come out

and say you're ugly. Yeah, exactly. Sometimes you think you have the hottest feet ever to touch the ground and then wicky feet. I just got a pedicure too, so maybe I'll give this feet thing a go on Instagram. Yeah, I like that.

You should actively try to get more stars i'll just campaign for it and i of course will make no money from it but i need the i need the the rating to go up you need so that i can then sell the feet fix you can sell the picks it's an investment it's an investment um so yeah so at some point during her song her like fake wings fall off and all the bugs become grossed out by her including uh the gilbert godfrey beetle so they think she's gross they don't want him around anymore um and i don't know why the why is gilbert godfrey's character grossed out he discovered her like he wasn't grossed out i think he liked her but then he

reacted to everyone else's reaction to her and went oh well everyone else hates her so he cares too much about what people it's kind of like when you're really funny but then reddit says no and then it ruins your life and then they take your goth characters off of biblical morning

because they hate it this is a very relatable scenario. We've all been there. We've all had our goth characters taken off of Good Mythical Morning. Due to Reddit comments. Reddit complained. I will say I also

I know the sting of going to Reddit and feeling betrayed. I wore a t-shirt for a ska band on Good Mythical Morning one time, so they posted that in the ska subreddit, like, hey, this guy wore this band shirt

on Good Mythical Morning, and immediately it was people calling me fat. I'm like, being called fat in the ska subreddit? This is a weird new low. Like, this feels so... It's like jokes about how I was fat. I'm like, oh my God. It's so fucked up, too, because you actually have a great body because you swim every day.

I know. Not according to the studs in the Ska subreddit. Yeah, the stud muffins of Ska. Yeah, exactly. We think we know a thing or two about being hot. We like Ska. We play we know a thing or two about being hot. We like ska. We play the trombone every day. And nothing is worse than being compared to other people people think you look like.

It's never good. Somebody just posted, tagged me because she was going through training at a fast food restaurant. And there's the training videos. And there's the lady. Oh, it's not even a celebrity it's just someone doing a lady who teaches you how to use the frosty machine at wendy's it's this lady who's just like got a polo and a hat on and she's she's doing her best and you look like emily just yelling at a screen yeah well she did a TikTok of it she's like that looks like

she's got her little headset on she's watching the video as we speak and then I looked at it and I was like she's not wrong it kind of does look like me I always get uh either John Turturro or um Daniel Stern aka the other guy who's not Joee pesci in home alone who's oh i love him though i think he's great i think he's a real talent but you know yeah those are bad ones i mean listen i could do worse i could do worse we're all gonna feel we're all gonna we're all gonna feel great about ourselves once our wiki feet numbers i know gotta get those numbers up um so uh thumbelina she's she's been rejected by the beatles and she gets picked up by a cute mouse voiced by carol channing awesome gilbert godfrey was hilarious get a load of this fucking mouse played by carol channing oh my god she's great um fun fact betty white recorded all of the lines for this character don bluth hated it oh no got carol channing to do

this didn't tell betty white and then because carol channing and betty white hang out carol channing is just like i did the voice of a cute mouse in an animated movie and that's how betty white found out she got cut. That's crazy. I hope they stayed friends. I bet they... I mean, you know, you can't hold that against... Because they each lived another 40 years. Yeah.

Like, Carol Channing died at, like, 97 years old, and Betty White, 99. Can I tell you, this song that the mouse sings is my second favorite song the song rules it is so funny i have a little clip of this that i think is is is straight up great and hilarious we're very much in love when they were well they honored every vow so where are they now they're dead dead very very dead fucking it's so hard to believe betty white would not have done a better job sorry i just yeah carol channey's got this like really of, I don't know, it's just saccharine. It's a perfect old mouse lady voice.

It really is. It's perfect. And she's adorable and the long eyelashes. And she's friends with a rich mole who doesn't want to just marry her. That's weird to me. It is. You should marry that mouse like yeah that mouse rules you're both rodents age appropriate yeah yeah first of all age

appropriate mouse second of all i was expecting not unlike you jordan you know because of the way that we deconstruct these things i was at the very least expecting Carol Channing Mouse to be jealous, try to sabotage the relationship with Thumbelina. Instead, she was a very willing participant in the forced marriage of Thumbelina and the mole. It was very strange. Yeah, very Gillian Maxwell of her, you know? It is. Yeah, yeah. Or Ghislaine. yeah very gillian maxwell of her you know it is yeah yeah it is or galane it is a little bit yes the mole is the mole didn't kill himself and the mole yeah the

hung himself in prison allegedly allegedly allegedly but yeah i um i i had a hard time understanding why she didn't want to just marry them all that's but i guess that is like part of the story but i felt the same way about charo's character not jealous of thumbelina in any way just like we want you to come join our thing and you're so pretty and your voice is good we'll make money like well they were gonna they were gonna like steal her money like they were plotting to you know be terrible band managers but you were thinking that like you know when there's a glamorous toad lady she wants to be the star you know yeah well i like that charo is just like really secure in her talent you know yeah i don't know she knows she's a better performer

than thumbelina i mean let's be honest like thumbelina was a good singer but she had no stage presence none absolutely trash up there not a lot you know thumbelina would also just repeat everything that's the thing that drove me crazy about this movie is it supposed to be a week old like how old is thumbelina like she's a baby born yeah she's a baby born from a flower maybe we shouldn't think too much about the logic of this yeah don't think about it too hard that's true you can't or else you'll you'll lose your your mind but no i really the thing that drove me nuts is the the repeating everything where it would just be like you're gonna sing for us sing for us yeah that was and then you'll dance dance like it's just be like, you're gonna sing for us. Sing for us? Yeah, that was most of the script. And then you'll dance?

Dance? Like, it's just like, can you just? Mole? The? Mole! Me? Hole? Somebody?

Thumb? Yeah. So she, you know, I mean, and you do have this great vocal performance from the actor that did The Little Mermaid, and it's like this, you know, Thumbelina is like not a great character. She's pretty just like reactive and she just kind of like gets, you know, kidnapped from various biomes and taken to new biomes.

And yeah, and again, like it is, you know, because we've had so many years of like, you know, empowered princesses and like, you know, empowered princesses and, like, you know, characters. When's that fucking Drew Barrymore movie? Ever after. This was, like, two years after this. Anyway. Right, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, so it is, you know, it is a little bit of a bummer that she just kind of gets shunted from thing to thing and doesn't react too much. I'll say at the end she does like make the choice to run away from the mole guy it is like she does kind you know and maybe it is kind of a growing up story that's true she gets away herself yeah and she needs the sun and so yeah so she she's she's at the mole wedding she decides to you know fuck the mole she runs away then the the

fairy prince like breaks in at the last minute and fights a bunch of dudes and takes her off and marries her in the veil of the fairies and wouldn't you know it she grows wings yep she just she grows some wings that of course why not that's the end of the movie grow some wings it's a beautiful wedding mom is there and she and the prince ride off on that bee i love so much and that is the story do you think that when the fairy prince and thumbelina have a baby it's an even smaller flower that then births like a tiny microorganism right or just a 40 year old guy because that's how the gestation works listen i have a ridley scott needs to make a movie about the gestation period of thumbelina yeah totally wait we didn't do hunk watch oh yeah i uh i guess i didn't i didn't i didn't

feel too strongly about any of the hunks in this movie. Did either of y'all have a- I have opinions. Play it, Matt. Yes, let's hear it. Why don't we do those opinions after we take a quick commercial break? That's right. Okay, here's what we're going to do. But I'm horny now, Matt.

Sorry, you have to wait. We're going to take a quick break and come back with a little hunk watch we're back it's free with ads we're about to talk it's emily fleming about the hottest hunks in the movie thumbelina what do you got okay all right there we go now all right let's go i've got a couple of opinions number one is yes the prince is definitely hunky bowl cuts like that in the 90s were the thing okay you know devin sawad jonathan taylor thomas we love those and boy did he have one that made it look like a mom put a bowl on his head and just chip chop chipped away there um i loved it i just specifically the bowl cut made me nuts about him but the other one is giacomo was just giacomo was kind of hot yeah yeah also okay his wings didn't really have

feathers it kind of looked like two killer whales like smooth just like smooth killer whale tails And then they had hands At the end of his wings Yes He's also like a clown bird too Yeah he's French All French people just kind of dress like clowns Yeah All French birds

Also all French frogs apparently Yeah sure Everyone had that clown suit. They all wore the weird... Harlequin kind of thing. Yeah, with the hat. Oh, speaking of which... Those were some bad hats.

The worst hats. The worst hat. On the frogs? Yeah, I thought the frog... We're talking worst hat probably on the frog. But, you know, it could also be on Giacomo. Well, hang on. I liked Giacomo's floppy hat.

I thought that was cute. I liked his little boots. I loved everything. But the thing I loved about him the most is just how much he loved Thumbelina and how like sweet he was. He was very, very romantic. He already says that he loves romance and all that. But there's a scene where he finds thumbelina it's like the frost is coming and she's escaped the beetle or

like the beetle kicks her out and she goes into an old boot which also i thought that walnut was cute i love that old boot that boot you want to go You want to go in the boot. I want to go in the boot. Anyway. Not until you finish your vegetables. No. Then you can go in the boot. And there's like a little sock in there. And then she made like a sleeping bag out of the sock. I was like, this is great.

So, but no, he finds her and she's like shivering and cold. And then he takes her under his wings. He's like, we should go to sleep now. And I'm like, yes, you should. I want to go cuddle up like on this giant bird and have his wings envelop me. Smooth clown bird. It was just like he's so sweet. Fuck the fucking prince. Be with this.

Marry the bird. Marry the bird. So Giacomo is my ultimate hunk for this movie he's so sweet I love him I love him well now that we've talked about the hottest hunks in Thumbelina let's talk about some of the best lines in the movie um yeah uh Emily do you want to go first sure so I'm picking a line that um my family when we sing the song we sing this part of the song all the time. And I don't know. Maybe you'll understand it once you hear the lyrics.

Thumbelina. She's a funny little squirt. Thumbelina. Tiny angel in a skirt. Thumbelina. First she's bending, then faking, pretending she's making things happen. Thumbelina! Beautiful.

I know everyone's screaming and squawking in that, but she's a funny little squirt and it's like this kind of southern goat character. Yeah. And then tiny angel in a skirt. Yeah, I love these like singing farm animals with these farm animal ass voices. A goat character. Yeah. And then tiny angel in a skirt. Yeah. I love these like singing farm animals with these farm animal ass voices. They're so. Oh, also, I forgot to mention this. He didn't make the hunk watch, but the dog hero that is like belongs to the mother.

He's got a Sam Elliott mustache. Oh, yeah. Totally. He does. And I love him. He's a good dog. Yeah, so you know, Thumbelina is presenting a dangerous world where

people will deceive you, but there's also a lot of helpful people as well in the world. So a lot of lessons to be learned. Yeah, my line is just something else that Gilbert Gottfried said. He's talking to the frog and he's explaining why he let her get away after her wings fell off.

We didn't hit it off too good, so I let her go. She's not my type. She's an ugly type. I don't like ugly. I don't like ugly. That's pretty great. As a type, ugly? Yeah.

Those scenes between Grundle and the beetle are pretty fun. They're pretty great together. The toad intimidates our beetle guy. Yeah. It's very amusing. A comedy pair. Yeah, great comedy pair. very comedy pair yeah great comedy beetle yeah that should be the spinoff that's the disney plus series that's the thumbelina spinoff it's the toad and the beetle so i don't have a favorite line but uh i do have a little entry for our um rarely used segment comment section oh yes comment section so i was going through uh some of

the comments uh on youtube and um well just a few of them that i like one is the top one is anyone watching in 2024 and everyone just saying me uh except for one guy who says no that's the funniest guy funniest guy funniest guy uh and then just one of the commenters wrote uh i have a theory that thumbelina is a metaphor for the trials and tribulations of young women which i just i love writing that down and being like anyone else think that it's like yeah that's clearly what it's about yeah and then finally my favorite is when Cornelius said and I'll never let you fall Thumbelina recognized it immediately because she loves Cornelius. I just thought that was beautiful. That is beautiful.

My God. You're right. People saying what happened in the movie. Yeah. There's something I love about the fact that pretty much anyone can comment, so a lot of these are eight-year-old Emilys. Yeah. I want to go in the boot. I want to go in that boot.

Let me go in the boot. I want to be in that boot. Let me go in the boot. I want to be in the boot. Oh, I wish I was inside a walnut. You know what? I'm going to make a comment. I'm going to make like a little poll for when this goes out and be like, what would you rather live in? Boot or acorn or walnut?

Walnut or boot? Boot or nut. Boot or nut. Are you a nut head or a boot nut? Oh. Let's go. We got a new poll. It's going to get spicy.

All those boot nuts are going to be wilding out in the comments. Our fans haven't been this split since are we more of moon or more of sun? Oh, shit. He's gonna rip the fandom a thunder. A thunder. A moonder, I say. Oh, fuck you. A Thumbelina shouldn't vote.

What? What are you talking about? You can't even order a donut. You're literally playing Thumbelina. You're so weird. Oh, God. That was good. Well, yeah, let's rank this movie on a scale of 1 to 10 super loud commercials after we come back it's free with ads we're gonna rank thumbelina on a scale of one to ten super loud commercials uh matt you want to go first emily we'll let you close it out

okay okay so uh this was my second time seeing thumbelina i did see it as a kid um and uh i as a kid i remember thinking to myself i i know i should be enjoying this because it's disney in my head it was disney um but i'm not enjoying this. And I don't know why. Seeing it as an adult, knowing it's Don Bluth, knowing it's not Disney, I do know why I didn't enjoy it. And it's because it's not good. I give this a three. It's a three. Very solid three. You hid that so well throughout this whole episode.

I did not see that coming, and I appreciate that. I didn't want to yuck anyone's yum. I just wasn't sure. Well, I appreciate that, but I totally understand because I watched it twice because I watched it the first time kind of while I was doing things around the apartment. And then I was like, there's a lot of stuff that happens in this movie. It goes like there's a scene where a rabbit is being chased by a fox. And Giacomo the swallow is trying to like find where the veil of the fairies is.

So we go on a side quest with him. And it's like, why are we doing this? Yeah, there's not enough story for the movie. so they have yeah you're right they are side quests they are like little things you do in a video game to make gold pieces yeah i tried to watch this this is based on your emily uh your suggestion you were like do you watch it with karina you know and i i tried to um but francesca stopped me she said no please don't watch thumbelina mostly because she's like i just don't want to introduce her to like that level of kind of uh movie yet you know like i don't want her to get like oh i want to be a princess and all that stuff. And after watching it again, I was like, I'm really glad I didn't show her because this is a very anti-woman movie.

I hate this fucking movie. Well, I guess when I saw it as a kid, I didn't really put those things together. We just liked the songs. And I liked her pretty hair. That's all I cared about. There are some songs in this that I thought were genuinely good. And that's why I gave it some points.

Jordan? Yeah, I will go. Yeah, I'm going to go higher on this. I'll say this is a six. I think this would be a fun thing to watch with a kid if you're just like fucking sick of Frozen. You're like, I need to put something on.

So it does look look very cool the songs are great yeah i don't you know i hey i'm not a parent i don't know what you do about like stuff that you think has like iffy values you know i i don't think this is gonna warp anybody just show them yeah 15 hours of steven universe after it to you know get those get those good values circulating in their little brains um but yeah, I think this is fun. And I think if there's a way to explain that stuff to a kid, then this would be a fun watch with a kid. So yeah, I'm going to call it a six.

Emily, what do you got? Yeah, I'm going to go a little higher. I'm going to do a 7.5 because I love the music so much. I love the look of all the characters. They have this... I like his style of creating stuff. And I think that he's a lot more stylish and fun than Disney movies. And I just like that about him. And I like the characters.

The individual characters are very rich and having their own little moments throughout the movie. Do they go together very well no but they're each having their little their own little thing going on and it's cute um so yeah but i was just thinking we were talking about like the whole oh the values blah blah and it's like this is very similar kind of peter pan ish like someone's taking her from a window yes yes and but other than rather than those kids for peter pan who wanted to go she didn't want to go yeah yeah yeah she got her walnut stolen but yeah so i'm doing 7.5 because i have nostalgia for sure but also music the music is the best of the don bluth like musics like yes musics musicals so yeah yeah hey

when you when you pay for manilow you're getting some fucking bangers you're getting bangers bangers um well hey that is thumbelina we watched it then we talked about it um yeah uh any i'll do a little plug-in uh actually some cool stuff I'd like y'all to know about hey if you want to discuss this show with other fans you can do that on reddit r slash maximum fun is the subreddit

for maximum fun the network that puts out this show where you can discuss it or if you want to get super granular really get into it with the free with Ads freaks, you can go to r slash Free With Ads. That's right. There's a subreddit dedicated to this show.

So go to r slash Maximum Fun. Go to r slash Free With Ads. Post about your favorite apps. All your... And comment on our feet. Tell us how nasty our feet are over there on r slash free with ads. But definitely don't leave the Maximum Fun subreddit. Definitely.

Like, stay in the Maximum Fun subreddit and comment a lot about how great the show is. So as to attract Maximum Fun subredditors to subscribe to the Free With Ed subreddit. Please, yes. Because we don't want you guys to isolate yourselves. We want you to be part of the community at MaxFun. Yes. So talk about us a lot. And tell your friends.

Tell your friends. Yeah, tell your friends. Leave a comment. These are things podcasters say because they help the shows. Do all those things. And I will say, if you are in the Portland, Oregon area, I am going to be at Rose City Comic Con, September 6th through the 8th, Rose City Comic Con.

I am going to be in Artist's Alley, table AL-04. So yeah, come see me at Rose City Comic Con. I'm going to be signing books, selling books, youth group, bubble, and some very rare exclusive cover issues of Archie Comics. So come find me there. Buy some books, hang out, and tell me where to eat in Portland. I plan on eating like a fucking maniac while I'm there. Yes!

Oh, my God. The food in that town. Emily, you got anything? I'm just going to say keep an eye out on phlegm gems. I'm going to have new jewelry up soon. And yeah, I think that's it. I think that when this comes out, maybe summer's winding down. I don't know how many more Good Mythical Weekends we got left,

but keep checking in on Saturdays on the Good Mythical Morning YouTube channel. Yeah, if you haven't checked out the Good Mythical Morning YouTube channel. Yeah. If you haven't checked out the Good Mythical Weekend episodes, please do. They are very fun. Emily, Matt, and I have all been in some of those videos. Just weird stuff featuring the Mythical Crew, special guests from around the internet. It's weird. It's chaotic.

It's so, so fun. Good Mythical Weekend over there on the Good Mythical Morning YouTube channel. And also. Matt? Yes? Would Rhett and Link on the Rhett and Link channel. It's their new show, Wonderhole. I am not in it. Me neither. But I watched it and I was like, I like this. Yeah.

Why am I not in this? Put me in. Now I'm plugging it in the hopes they put me in it. Well, I mean, they have other people in it. Like Reese Darby is a voiceover in it. It's like, okay, you got Reese Darby in it. They got like famous people. Yeah.

How about someone like good old Matt Lee? You know what I mean? Howie Mandel is in it? Wow. People call Matt the American Howie Mandel. Exactly. That's true. Well, yeah, that's a bunch of stuff that you can watch

between episodes of Free With Ads. We'll be back next week when our movie will be Cool World. God have mercy on us oh god maximum fun a worker-owned network of artists owned shows supported directly by you